#sigh... its academia sad feels time

[doctorweebmd]

i have been experiencing The Agonies with some increasing frequency over the past month and at least TRYING to put in The Work to keep myself mostly functional and human which is great and all but now since I’m Managing the overwhelming guilt of Not Managing Enough is quite stifling. Like i feel ok enough to be guilty about not feeling more okay does that make sense 

#its almost easier to forgive yourself when its really bad #dont mind me i've had The Illnesses for like fourteen years #this isn't unfamiliar territory but just gets more and more difficult to manage the older you get in the sense you have more responsibility #like....i'm a doctor i dont get to be like 'oh... i can't see patients because you see i am very sad' #so........................... #plus i think the people i'm comparing myself to are just too amazing #how can you do this job AND have a healthy exercise regimen AND have friendships and be with your family AND have time for hobbies #AND do extra things on top of it including research and publications #AND some of them area having children?!?!??!?!?!? #AND everyone is also very good looking?! with good skin and good bodies and good hair #i feel like quasimoto with like... no redeeming qualities lmao #my body is a wreck my personality is whack i'm not even the strongest knowledge-base wise or procedure wise or teaching-wise #like what am i even doing here #ANYWAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY lol imposter syndrome really never goes away no matter where you are in life huh #wow.........this is a lot #anyway i'm so normal #i'm going to go do my totally normal hobby which is totally not writing my hero academia fanfiction #sigh

[ilyvwm]

loves sorrow - remus lupin

preview - shakespeare, sap, french, lovers reuniting, remus lupin visiting hogwarts during winter break cuz it works for the story

warnings - kinda sad? not rlly

the halls of hogwarts were dimly lit with firelight as they illuminated not a soul who once walked through them. the castle deserted due to christmas break with only a few students lounging about in their common rooms and dorms. the music played from some dorm which had lively chatter here and there, presumably a gather of more than a few students to celebrate the winter holiday. y/n could hear faint whispers from the ghosts drifting to and from rooms but other than that not a soul accompanied them in the library. outside of the dusky room, y/n sat in, humming through the musty glass windows.

y/n hunched over their book, not bothered by the useless noise invading from the halls. they scanned every line and every letter of that book, every sentence understanding and not overthought. the magical contents of the book they held, enticing their imagination just enough to enjoy it.

the one thing they wanted was to distract themselves in that moment. distract themselves from the agonizing truth of who they wanted to spend that damp night with. they yearned to feel his touch after so long without it, so many sleepless nights and so many shared by books or movies to occupy the hole remus left in y/n.

they sighed, noticing now that their thoughts had intruded their peaceful reading, the one thing which they didn't want to happen. y/n scooted out from their chair, moving over to the book shelves in the academia-esc environment and placing the delicate book onto one of them.

their fingers traced the outline of each book in that row, the tall and looming ceilings above them shattering the silence with its creaks and yawns. the wind outside hit the windows harshly in an oddly comforting way. the stained dark browns of the whole library amused y/n for they had no reason to enchant them but yet here they were, examining every single thing about the small cracks and crevices.

"mmh.." y/n muttered, admiring the space in which they had been so enticed in with a sorrowful smile playing on their lips. their fingers crossed over tens of books lining shelves until they reached something different than the normal texture they had been used to feeling. a note. a small, antique looking note sat hidden between two books.

curiosity taking over them, they opened the note. yet, the moment they opened the note and scanned what it said, their heart sped with a confused beat.

"my love, i've missed you, - remus"y/n immediately searched around to find another identical looking note sticking out of a book nearby which read:

"look up,"

y/n obeyed, seeing a particularly peculiar small note hanging from a string saying:

"follow the string,"

as y/n's eyes scanned over the light blue string to find it coming down to their level and turning the corner, they followed. the string wound itself through an archaic which looked to be from medieval times. y/n quickly took out the string which they held in their hand and opened the book to see another note where the string had been hidden.

"love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged cupid blind. - william shakespeare's a midsummers night's dream"

the quote meant far more to y/n than any passerby as it had been from the first play lupin took them on for their first date, the sentiment paining y/n's heart. they continued following the periwinkle string, the notes kept safely inside their pocket as they followed it to another book.

"when you depart from me sorrow abides, and happiness takes his leave. - william shakespeare's much ado about nothing"

the feeling which spread gracefully through the card made home in y/n's heart as they remembered how much they would miss remus every night... his warming presence, his voice humming them to sleep, his light kisses which woke them up with ease.

"doubt thou the stars are fire; doubt that the sun doth move; doubt truth to be a liar; but never doubt I love. - william shakespeare's hamlet"

the next note read, the string which they handled gently in one hand reminding y/n of the never ending connection they felt so strongly with remus. they continued, a gleeful joy bubbling inside them every time they saw a new part of string enter one of the many books on their journey.

"one half of me is yours, the other half yours-mine own, I would say; but if mine, then yours, and so all yours. - william shakespeare's the merchant of venice" they continued, each note kept safely in the pocket which y/n cherished so dearly now. with every note one piece of them felt a new excitement and the other found a new sorrow, maybe remus had someone else set this up? maybe i'm dreaming this? if this a faint dream... let it play on, lest it be more than a memory.

"journeys end in lovers meeting, every wise man's son doth know. - william shakespeare's twelfth night"

the string... it had ended. the fraying end of the string taunting y/n in such a manner their heart ached at the sight. they wanted this to be more than a dream, more than a faint memory. their knees felt weak and their mind clouded, all to vanish in a split second of hearing his voice.

"love?" the words sounded alien and almost unfamiliar but y/n could never forget nor replace remus’s voice. they looked up, their hair being thrown up and scattered around their head messily at the violent nature in which they did. their eyes met.

"h.. how.." the tears which welled inside y/n's eyes as they scanned the sight of remus with a small vermilion rose inside his grasp breaking their heart with relief.

"as shakespeare said... the course of true love never did run smooth." remus spoke, taking a step forward towards the trembling y/n in front of him, grasping their hand as they still stared in awe towards his deep chocolate brown eyes.

"so.. did you miss me?"

remus’s words were met as y/n gently glided themselves into his arms, the warm feeling almost bringing the tears which involuntarily crept up inside their eyes to fall. y/n's response came smooth and unthought, their voice less empty than before and filled with the longing which they now knew not.

"mon cœur t'appartient,"

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #remus x reader #andrew garfield x reader #andrew garfield #remus fluff #remus x you #hogwarts #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction

[acapelladitty]

can we get a lil something where Crane genuinely comforts his WG during a moment of sadness? ...even just a couple of sentences... ... pretty please🥹🖤

Only cause you caught me in a good mood 😉

Eyes scanning through the email with a frantic darting motion, the words 'regret to inform you' fall heavily into your chest as your phone shakes within a trembling hand.

"Rejected! They rejected my paper!" Cringing as you hear the risen octave of your voice, you drop it once again to quote directly from the offending email. "For 'displaying a lack of relevant field data'.".

"Some kind of mistake?" A crease forming in his brow, Crane turns from his costume mannequin to give you his attention. "Your data was both well presented and relevent to your hypothesis."

"The only thing I lack is being loose. This is my punishment for slapping one of the board members hands away after he got a little too touchy at an event years ago." Recalling the incident, disgust is quick to join the anger in your chest as you cuss him out. "The bastard. I knew he would be like this. Petty old bastard."

Frustration, all-consuming in its inferno, rages within your chest and the burn extends to your eyes as your vision quickly becomes suspiciously watery. Bringing the knuckles of your thumbs to your eyes, you wipe away the wetness there as a thick lump obscures your speech.

Six months.

Six months of work.

Gone in an instant.

Watching you, Crane sniffs in distaste.

"And you would give them the satisfaction of an emotional response?"

"Well, I wasnt expecting this and I can't really do much else. What would you d-"

Cutting yourself off as the stupidity of such a question caught up with your thoughts, instead you maintain a stubborn silence as you stretch your neck up to meet his gaze through your blurred vision.

His expression is more curious than anything as he moves to stand before you and he dips to his haunches in a surprisingly fluid movement to bring himself to your eye level.

"Academia often fails to celebrate those who are most deserving. They are too enshrouded in their limited worldviews to accept much else."

"That almost sounds like a compliment." You offer blearily, the disappointment in your stomach roiling and leaving a pit in its wake.

"Hmm, maybe it is."

"You only say that because you offered insight into my work."

"I only offered insight into your work because I saw potential." Crane counters smoothly. "I do not waste my time on fools or frivolity."

His hand comes to rest on your knee, giving the joint a slight squeeze as his other hand secures itself behind your neck in a familiar embrace.

"When my endeavours went punished for their brilliance, rather than accept it, I strived to rise above their petty morality to achieve something greater. I was not to be stopped and I harmed them in kind."

"Would me wanting to hurt them surprise you?" Slipping free, the question could not be taken back now.

"No. Your fleeting aptitude for violence is one of my favourite little sparks of yours, witty girl. Almost like a kitten who wants to scratch the hand that controls her but fears that her claws will wound too deeply and she will be punished."

Distracted by the analogy, you lean your head into his wrist and enjoy the unusual physical comfort he is offering.

"Would you punish me for clawing you?"

"Of course. Spare the rod, spoil the little mouse. However, I do not object to that resilience being targeted towards more suitable candidates."

Sighing but feeling considerably more settled by the unexpected show of support, your hand comes to settle atop his as it remains on your knee.

"Don't tempt me." You mutter darkly.

#the was mostly written between rounds of fortnite lmao so apologies for any nonsense #Jonathan crane #scarecrow #jonathan crane x reader #scarecrow x reader #gotham rogues

[yn-rollcall]

Momento Bakugo x Reader Chapter 35

First Chapter

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Summary: So I was always told to look on the bright side. The bright side is that I’m finally meeting the Number One and Two pro-heroes Deku and Dynamight. The downside is that I was publicly dragged out of my job for a string of robberies that I did not commit and am being detained for questioning.

Length: 5.6k

Warnings:Oral Sex, Food Kink, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Mirror Sex, Quirk Kink (My Hero Academia), Shameless Smut, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rough Sex, Emotional Constipation, Chocolate Syrup, Fluff, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Temperature Play, Hate Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Attempted Sexual Assault, Blood and Injury, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Panty Kink, Semi-Public Sex, Creampie, Bondage, Body Worship, Light Dom/sub, Daddy Kink, Pegging, Public Masturbation, Office Sex, Wank and Tell, Polyamory, So like at the very very end there’s KatsukixReaderxKirishima, But it happens so last minute I don’t feel justified tagging it as one of the main relationships, Constructive Criticism Welcome

A03

Wattpad

A/N: We've got one more chapter left ladies and gents! Let's finish out strong!

It took about two weeks to get permission to enter Tartarus and see Hosei. In that time, I've gone back and forth on whether this was a good idea. Hell, literally everyone has been wondering if this is a good idea. Anytime a person delicately tried to ask why I wanted to do this, the answer was always that I didn't know. Because I didn't! I didn't know if me needing him to see me happy and fulfilled is one last ditch attempt to get his validation or whatever. I didn't know if this will prove something to myself. I didn't know if this would actually resolve that last bit of twisting and biting mix of resentment, anger and sadness that gnawed at me in the back of my head. The only thing I do know is that whenever I thought about it late at night it's something I wanted to do. So I'm doing it.

What I didn't expect was so many people wanting to come. Literally everyone, but civilians aren't really allowed in Tartarus. In fact, Katsuki and Eijirou fought like hell to just get me in. So my civilian friends shoved as many heroes at me as an entourage. Not that they needed any convincing. Katsuki, Eijirou, Izuku and Denki all already wanted to come with me. More too but the agency needed someone doing some work. And while there's a part of me that knew Hosei would see it as a weakness to have all these people with me, I'm realizing that I didn't particularly care. I felt better with them around. We walked down the blank hallways, the atmosphere tense as we finally reached our destination. They buzzed us in and there he was. I wish I could say he was smaller than I remember. Or that I was fearless before him. But my hands were sweaty and my heart was racing.

I stepped forward anyway. His eyes were trained on me like a predator watching its prey. A disgusting and vague sense of ownership glittered in his eyes. I sat down in one of the chairs prepared for us and was still for a moment. Neither of us spoke. I kept my eyes trained on the floor. My mouth felt dry and I couldn't think of anything to say. After about a minute, I looked up at Hosei.

"I had a threesome with Dynamight and Red Riot." I said before I could really think about it.

Izuku sputtered and Denki let out a surprised noise. Eijirou let out a tiny groan and Katsuki sighed. I kept my eyes on Hosei.

"Seems you're still a whore." He said, unimpressed.

Katsuki and Eijirou stiffened beside me.

"Yea." I agreed.

Everyone turned towards me and I could feel varying degrees of emotion, waiting to spill out from their lips. But they stopped themselves. They let me set the pace, which I appreciated.

"You repeatedly told me that no one but you could ever love someone like me." I said softly. "And I really believed you."

Hosei scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"I never said that. And if I did, it must've been something you've done to make me say it. I clearly loved you so I wouldn't say something like that unprompted."

No it wasn't unprompted but I never deserved to hear that.

I knew he'd do this but it hurt. More than I cared to admit. The urge to argue and yell rose and died within me. I knew where that went. I've done it so many times before. I always felt even more shitty afterwards. So I'm not doing that here.

"Of course." I sighed deeply, my shoulders curling in. "Let's switch it up then. We had sex. Sex I thought about everyday."

Hosei's eyebrows twitched. A ghost of a smile threatened his lips.

"I thought I hated sex or that I was broken somehow and needed to have multiple guys at once. It just turns out you were just so bad at it." I said

I realized I didn't even mean that as a dig it was just true. A serious revelation I came to terms with every time I spent a night with either of my boyfriends. The others snickered behind me.

"Because of Dynamight, I discovered that I actually did enjoy all those kinks you forced on me. This collar is his." I pointed to Katsuki then lifted my leg for him to see the little anklet Eijirou got me. "This is from Red Riot."

I put my leg down, looking at his steadily angrier face.

"I'm still scared of you." I said. "Sometimes, I wake up in a cold sweat worried that I'm still with you."

"You just want to make me look bad in front of the people whoring you out-"

Quit calling me a whore. You always said that to me!

I knew his responses to that. Heard it a thousand times.

I wouldn't call you one if you didn't act like it.

What else am I supposed to call someone who loves drooling on other people's cocks?

Sorry but you make me so angry I have to say it how it is.

"You did a great job of that all by yourself. That had shit to do with me." I said sharply.

I hate you so much. I hate you I hate you I HATE you.

"You know you really should be grateful to the people around me." I said, my voice dropping a few degrees.

"Why is that?"

"I had a plan to torture and kill you. Then kill myself after I successfully pushed Dynamight away." I said.

"What?!" Katsuki hissed.

I still didn't look at him. I was focused on Hosei.

"As if you would-"

"Did you know if you focus a sudden and powerful shift of gravity on one spot you can just burst holes into someone?" I asked, letting my voice drip with the venom I've been holding onto for years. "Do you have any idea how much gravity is a factor in how our bodies function?"

Hosei looked at me, his face growing pale. The entire room stood stock still.

"Y-you woul-"

"I already have." I said. "There's a particular hospital ward that can attest to that. I'm my defense, they always attacked first."

For the first time in my life, I saw Hosei afraid. And it gave me joy.

"Or that if someone is in sustained higher gravity it could cause serious damage to their joints and circulatory system?" I said, maintaining eye contact.

Hosei looked at me, his eyes widening.

"You should thank these heroes because they well and truly saved you from me." I said, sitting back in my seat. "How's your hand feeling by the way. The left one?"

He glanced at it and I could see it from here. The creaky, pained way it twitched.

"You-!" He blanched.

"I tested it there." I confirmed. "Does it still hurt? I'm very curious."

He started breathing a little harder, his eyes flicked to where the guards supposedly sat behind a glass wall.

"During our time apart, I've tried the whole forgive and forget thing. But I can't do either. The scars on my body make sure of that." I said. "I hate you so much that my only regret is I've never crippled you."

He once again glanced at the guards, then the heroes.

"I'm not gonna touch you obviously." I sighed.

A wicked smile came across my face before I could stop it and Hosei looked genuinely horrified. And that made me laugh.

"Actually, I take it back, I don't fully regret how things turned out. You know why?"

His wide eyes were trained on me like he didn't recognize me. That pissed me off.

"Because I'm out here happy and you're gonna rot in there for the rest of your life!" I cackled. "After all of that talk! That's so fucking embarrassing! You literally hunted me! For years!! "

I doubled over laughing and after a few minutes I calmed down.

"Even with the help of AFO you were still a resounding failure." I said, my voice devoid of humor. "How does that feel?"

"You're not Y/N. She was kind and sweet. She would never-"

"No, I'm not." I said softly. "You wouldn't know it but I've developed a bit of a nasty streak in the last few years. I was very excited to show you what I learned if given the opportunity."

I let out a heavy sigh.

"At least that's what I thought." I said looking down.

I could feel the room shift. The heroes around me were less uncomfortable.

"It turns out that if the people around you care enough you start healing just to thank them." I said defeatedly. "I wanted to hurt you so bad. I tried to but my roommate and an old lady stepped in. Then some fellow misfits. Then some heroes. By the time I saw you again, I didn't feel like putting the effort in to hurt you was worth it. I couldn't even stomach putting myself in that place again. I just wanted to be with the people who cared."

I looked back at Hosei with resigned eyes.

"And honestly The thought of spending my last year on earth with just you sounds fucking awful." I said. "I wanted out. And because of the people around me I was graced with that. Even after hurting them."

Hosei's fear settled into a stony expression.

"So what, you came to brag?"

"Yea." I said. "These people are worth bragging about."

His face turned red as he shook then he exploded.

"YOU HURT ME!" He yelled. "You ran off! You left without a word! You strung me along! How dare you even come in here-"

"If that's hurting you, I'd do it again in a heartbeat." I said calmly. I glared at him, my power rising within me in response to my anger. "Also, lower your fucking tone. I can still kill you." I growled.

The glass between us wobbled under my gravity and he stopped speaking, opting for glaring at me. He breathed hard, composing himself.

"You've already shown them who you are. How violent and callous you can be. It's a matter of time before they find someone better. Someone who wouldn't have hurt them at all." He said calmly. "If they're truly heroes they wouldn't be able to tolerate you."

He's always been good at honing into fears of mine. The worst part is there's always a smidgen of truth. I am perfectly capable of hurting them and have already done so. If they wanted nothing to do with me...that's justified. I closed my eyes imagining the possibility. And it hurt. But I know if they left it's because it was better for them. And even if it hurts, I have to be fine with it.

"Then that's okay." I said. "I want them to be happy. And if that's without me, then that's okay. That's their choice."

His eyes narrowed a bit, annoyed that his jab didn't work like he wanted. And suddenly I knew why I had to come here. The other version of me from the tapes. She needed this. To see him locked away. To have a victory over him. To get her words to the man who hurt her. Mentally, I could see her exhale, finally collapsing and crying from holding it together. A wide smile on her face.

Thank you

And I felt myself choking up. I tried to cover it up but a sob left me. Denki immediately rushed over, squeezing me tight before anyone else could.

"We can throw knives at his picture or some shit don't believe that guy!" He rushed out.

"You're stuck with us. We love you, he's full of shit!" Eijirou asserted.

"Fucking move so I can hold her!" Katsuki yelled, trying to pry off Denki who held onto me with a vice grip.

"Over my dead body!"

"That can be arranged, Pikachu!"

"Guys really." Izuku sighed, pushing everyone away with his black whip. "Give her some space."

"Okay you say that but now you're hugging her." Eijirou pouted.

"She needs a hug!" He said defensively.

"I'm really happy." I choked out. "I'm finally fucking happy."

"And you should be." He sniffled as he squeezed his arms around me. I laughed as everyone else joined in the group hug. Katsuki's discontent grumbling only made my heart more full. I knew Hosei was watching this and I genuinely didn't care. I finally didn't care about it. He left his marks on me for sure but it finally felt over.

"Guys I can't breathe." I wheezed.

The men apologized and gave me a little space. A fluffy mood filled this side of the glass until we heard an exaggerated sigh from the speakers.

"I finally understand why they worked so hard to help you. You were fucking all of them weren't you? Do they even know? Otherwise why would they rally together to save one pathetic cu-"

Deku groaned. "God shut the fuck up!"

"1. I literally have a boyfriend and 2. Whether we did or didn't, She's worth saving you piece of-" Denki ranted.

"Torture is okay actually!" Katsuki said, his eyes twitching.

"I'm so sick of this dude." Eijirou grumbled.

"Yea. I'm fucking all of them. Every single one. Cry about it." I sighed as I stood up. "Fucked the guards too and your feeding tube guy or whatever they do in here."

I turned to the guys who were collectively roasting the shit out of Hosei and whistled. They stopped and looked at me.

"Do you guys wanna go out to eat somewhere?" I said, stretching.

"I didn't wanna say anything but I'm starving." Denki said as his stomach growled.

"Me too." Eijirou chimed in.

"Fine. Maybe I can get my appetite back after this shit." Katsuki mumbled.

"Ooh! Can we go to a burger place?" Eijirou asked, raising his hands up.

"Ooooh burgers sound awesome actually." I said.

"All you can eat BBQ?" Deku suggested.

We all stopped.

"You're a fucking genius man." Eijirou said.

"Wait but I really want fries." Denki whined.

"We stop to get fries while we try to see which BBQ places have private spots open for reservations."

"Oooh! We should invite Shoto!" Deku said.

"And Hitoshi." Denki chimed in, already texting.

"Tell IcyHot I'm covering his portion."

We all looked at him, mouth gaping.

"Whoa hold up-" Eijirou said, holding his hands up.

"Was there a foursome I didn't know about?" Denki gasped, furiously texting in some chat.

"First off, Shoto wouldn't do that without telling me, second off WHAT?" Deku asked.

"Would five people count as an orgy?" I asked."I Imagine Shoto and Deku are a package deal..." I murmured, counting the people in that scenario.

"First off, fuck no! He did me a favor." Katsuki seethed pointing at Denki then he pointed at me. "Second, don't even fucking think about it. You and Ei are mine. And I'm not fucking sharing!"

Eijirou blushed and I tried to hide a smile.

"I mean- if. If he wants to be. If-If you want to be. You don't have to...ugh." Katsuki mumbled as a deep blush covered his features.

"Awww Katsuki-poo! You feel that way about us!" I said as I gave him a tight hug.

Eijirou walked over, patting Katsuki on the back. "Letting out your feelings is so manly. Respect."

Katsuki's hands were steaming as his body shook with embarrassment and rage. His vein popped out as he kept his eyes glued to the ground. Denki motioned for us to step away from him before clearing his throat.

"So am I gonna hear about that threesome or..?"

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Katsuki roared as he chased after us.

We ran down the halls, laughing as Katsuki sprinted after us. I made gravity on myself lighter so I could go faster because he was getting uncomfortably close. The guards tried to yell at us but didn't step any closer to the explosive blonde. We got close to the front gate before a stern looking guard threw up a wall in front of us. We slid to a stop, Denki bumping into it before settling back. The wall disappeared and he gave us a patronizing look.

"I didn't think I needed to say this but no running in the hall children."

Katsuki stuck his middle finger up, opening his mouth before Deku quickly covered it, profusely apologizing. We all left and the guard closed the door with a huff.

"We uh definitely got carried away just now." Deku sighed, face still flushed with embarrassment.

"Funny. I'm just getting started." Katsuki growled, stepping towards us.

I walked forward and threw my arms around him.

"My love this isn't you!" I said dramatically.

"Oh it is." He said calmly. "And when we go to bed tonight I'll make sure you don't doubt it again."

My eyes popped open.

"Wait but...I start work again tomorrow..." I said shakily.

"That's too bad." He put a hand over my shoulder and plastered on a sickly sweet smile. "Plus Ultra."

"Wait, I'm sorry! Wait!" I whined as Katsuki walked forward.

Eijirou bit back a smile as he watched the exchange. Katsuki put a hand on his shoulder and he froze.

"Oh you're not exempt, big guy." He said in a deadly calm voice before continuing his walk to the car.

"Sucks to be you two." Denki mumbled as we glared at him.

"Your training session partner is him tomorrow." Deku said, causing Denki to freeze.

"Yo! Bakubro wait! We were kidding!" Denki said as he jogged forward.

Later, we met up at the restaurant laughing and joking about the whole situation. Shinsou, Shouto, Tsuyu and Uraraka joined us. Along with my friends minus Iris and Yoko. Iris didn't pick up the phone and Yoko tried to convince Auntie but she wouldn't budge on closing the shop for a bit. So she's settled for us telling her all the details later. We got the biggest room and have three grills in the middle of the huge circular table.

"So...are all three of you together now?" Kira asked me.

I choked on my food and recovered before answering.

"I'm kinda curious too!" Ochako chimed in.

"Yes?" I said sheepishly. "Eiji and I still have to get used to each other though."

"Well if you're already calling him Eiji..." Tsuyu teased.

"So are you gonna tell me how this happened because between you and me our class totally bet that those guys would get together so we were shocked when he got with you." Denki blurted out. "Not that you two aren't cute, you're adorable, but now the bets on again and I do have money riding on this. And Sero. Rest in peace, he's in paperwork hell."

"What the hell are you guys whispering about?" Katsuki narrowed his eyes.

"We're asking how you guys became a triad." Tsuyu said, ignoring our signals to shut up.

Katsuki stabbed his chopsticks through some meat and separated it before answering. He glanced at me and Eijirou before mumbling.

"I...love both of them and they were willing to indulge me. That's all."

That's...not right.

We easily could have just both agreed to exclusively Katsuki. Or not have had that night at all. If we weren't also interested in each other, a lot of this would've gone differently.

"I-.." Everyone looked at me and paused. "You're so happy when we're all together. I like it when you're happy. And Eiji makes you happy." I mumbled.

I looked down, twiddling my thumbs.

"Plus. Eiji's a really great guy. I'm happy it's him." My voice barely carried over the sizzling meat.

"Aww sweetheart, you're gonna make me blush!" Katsuki called over the table.

"Whatever!" I grumbled, stabbing some meat and shoving it into my mouth.

"You make me happy too Y/N." Eijirou said with a bright smile.

My body heated up at the statement and I stood up quickly.

"Bathroom." Was all I said before I scurried out of the room.

I stayed there a few minutes, washing my face and calming down. His words kept swirling in my head. I made him happy? Will I make him happy? Is he just saying that? He is such a sweet person after all. I hope he isn't being nice.

A knock.

"Occupied!"

"Did I go too far?" Eijirou asked.

I opened the door to see him shy and remorseful. I pulled him in and locked the door.

"No! I'm just. Feelings are still new to me." I said. "Don't worry."

"I was worried. That you felt like I'm stealing part of Katsuki away. Or uncomfortable with me"

I paused.

"I thought I'd feel that way but I don't. I gained a whole new person to love." I said then my eyes widened.

Shit that's really intense, I need to backtrack.

"Well I mean love is a strong word just- just um. I'm still figuring out-"

Eijirou cupped my chin, tilting my head up. Then he leaned down and gently pressed his lips on mine. We broke apart, hovering on the edge of another kiss.

"What do you feel?" He asked softly.

I kissed him.

"What do you feel?" I said softly after we broke apart. "We kinda suddenly roped you into this."

"Like this is a dream." He said, pressing his forehead to mine. "Is it okay if I really really like you?"

"As long as it's okay that I feel the same."

"You do?"

"I mean you were my first hero crush. I kinda lied about that going away. I mean not that I was ever planning on acting on it before I knew this was a possibility but-"

"You're a nervous talker." He said with a tiny laugh.

He kissed me, this time picking me up and holding me against the wall. There it was, that intoxicating delicate feeling. He held me like I weighed nothing. I gripped his shoulders, feeling really shy all of a sudden. I glanced up at his eyes, my heart beating wildly in my chest. They shone with warmth and promise. The physical embodiment of safety. I fell in love with Katsuki the same damn way. All this strength and he'd never use any of it hurt me. I tentatively leaned forward, touching my lips to his. We broke the kiss and a shaky breath left him. He kissed me again.

This time he deepened the kiss, tracing his tongue over my lips and dipping inside. We broke apart and he kissed my neck trailing up behind my ear. A tiny moan left my mouth and he chuckled. He pulled me into another kiss. He ground against me and I could feel his cock harden. I broke off the kiss and held his face, biting my lip.

"I'm...I'm still not good at being quiet yet." I whispered.

"Part of me wants them to hear you."

"You and Katsuki are gonna get me arrested." I laughed breathlessly.

I pushed him away a bit and pulled down his pants. His cock bounced out, thick, wet and heavy, standing at attention for me.

"Can't be noisy if my mouth is full." I said and looked up at him.

He looked torn so I took initiative. I licked the tip and he hissed out a breath.

"Y/N..." He said softly.

"Least likely to get arrested this way."

I could see him deliberating back and forth and ultimately deciding to go with it. He stroked my hair and slowly pushed into my mouth as gently as he could. I tried my best to accommodate all I could but he was huge. He slowly moved his hips back and forth, dragging his cock across my tongue, trying to keep his breathing in check. I lifted his shirt a bit so I could see his muscles contract as he moved. He took his shirt and used his mouth to hold it up. His eyebrows were pulled together as a deep blush dusted over his tan skin. Both hands, around my head as he slowly started to lose control.

And it hit me that maybe I was a little bit of a whore. At least for Eijirou and Katsuki. Nothing turned me on more than the image of either of them towering over me, thrusting their cock into my mouth. Nothing turned me on more than these two men doing anything really. He let out a choked moan when I sucked the tip hard. He started thrusting faster, high pitched whines occasionally escaping his mouth. I stopped bobbing my head, letting him set the pace. I could feel his precum sneaking over my tongue as he thrusted in and out, slowly abandoning his self control as the seconds went by.

"Wanna fuck you." He grunted. "Wanna feel you cum on my cock."

He pulled out and lifted me with ease to my surprise and once again held me against the wall.

"Okay?" He panted, using the last of his self-control to ask.

I nodded then he set me down briefly, nibbling on my neck.

"Pants off."

As soon as they were off, he lifted me again, balancing me above his dick. With a muted groan he sunk me down to the hilt. I bit my lip to prevent any noise from slipping from my mouth. He paused, letting us breathe for a second. All of my public fucking fantasies flashed in my head, leading me to lean into his ear and whisper.

"You couldn't wait until we got home for some pussy huh pet?"

I let out a tight moan as he suddenly thrusted into me. Loud slaps echoed in the tiny bathroom. I could only hope no one was waiting outside. If they were, I hope they realized bathrooms with actual rows of stalls existed just beyond this family bathroom.

"Fuck just like that." I breathed as he found my spot at this angle.

"I couldn't wait 'm sorry." He panted, his hips not slowing down for a beat.

"So needy."

He whined and bit into my shoulder to hold back a moan.

"Make me cum and we'll see about overlooking this." I said, into his ear.

He looked at me. His eyes were half lidded. Pupils blown out, mere slivers of red as he adjusted and pounded into me. His thick length rammed into me in just the right way over and over again. I bit his neck to quiet my moans. He found a rhythm that made my whole body tingle. I tangled my hands in his long red hair to anchor myself.

"Good boy. Oh fuck you're so good." I panted.

The coil wound tighter and tighter. I held onto him for dear life as I felt my breathless gasps and whines get louder beyond my control. I bit into his shoulder as I came to muffle the sound. He fucked me through it until my spasms stopped. He softly kissed my neck as I calmed down, murmuring sweet nothings in my ear.

"Fuck, I love that feeling." He murmured reverently in my ear, his still hard cock very slowly sliding in and out of me.

I could tell he could probably do this a couple of times. Based on the hungry look in his eye, he definitely was intending to make me cum a couple more times before he finished. Thing is, there's only so long before people start looking for us. And Katsuki is probably worried already.

"Mouth or pussy where do you want to cum?" I asked.

He pouted, picking up what I was doing. But if he was quick enough to follow my line of thinking, he probably could pick up what I was worried about. He thought for a moment.

"Mouth. Please. I wanna see you swallow." He said in a small voice.

He gently set me down and I got on my knees. I looked up at him.

"Fuck my mouth Eijirou."

He struggled to keep his composure as he did a few experimental thrusts into my mouth before losing all control. He was starting to get a little loud but would catch himself before I could decide to reprimand him. This was a different sight. He looked down at me with a deep blush, eyebrows pulled together as he desperately chased his relief.

"I'm gonna cum." He warned breathlessly as his strokes started getting sloppy.

I hummed in response. When I knew he was at the edge, I pulled him into my mouth all the way to the hilt. A loud groan left his mouth as he came down my throat. His hips twitched with each new rope I swallowed as he whispered thanks for letting him do this. With a hard suck, I popped off his dick and looked up at him. Before I was able to stand up, he scooped me up into a hug and held me. He peppered me with kisses and I was starting to get a sense of just how much this guy loved gentle touches and cuddling. That's okay, I'll hug him every hour if he wanted.

"Wanna go again?" He mumbled.

He's also REALLY horny. Just how pent up is he?

"Maybe when we recover from whatever Katsuki has planned. Plus there's only so long we can both be in here before somebody suspects something." I said.

He perked up immediately.

"Yea?"

"Yea." I said, kissing him on the cheek. "Now we gotta try to look like we didn't just fuck in the bathroom."

We both came back trying to act normal. Except by normal we both avoided eye contact. My phone vibrated and I checked it.

Meanie:

Are you guys okay?

No harm in just him knowing.

Eiji:

Yea we're fine.

Y/N:

We fucked in the bathroom.

Oops. Well...since the cat's out of the bag...

Meanie:

Without me are you serious?

Eiji:

I convinced her to do it.

Y/N:

I had a ton of fun sucking his dick in the bathroom.

A gasp was heard from him across the table. He narrowed his eyes at me and I stuck out my tongue. To anyone else it probably looked like he was irritated but I knew that look. He was turned on.

Meanie:

You're doing it again when we get home and this time I'm watching.

Eijirou blushed the moment he saw the text and I could feel myself getting worked up again.

Eiji:

Guys we're literally at the table.

Y/N:

What happened the Eiji who wanted to fuck loudly in the bathroom and have everyone hear?

Katsuki and Eijirou stiffened at the text and Katsuki slammed his phone on the table. Deku looked questioningly between the three of us.

"Everything alright?"

"Everything's fine!" I hummed happily, putting more meat on the grill.

"It's so cool that we're hanging out with pros!" Ori said dreamily. "We've certainly upgraded."

Yu glanced at Ori, Kira and I, smiling. "Yea. This is pretty cool."

"Know what's even cooler? Yoko agreed to go on a date with me." Kira cheered loudly.

"WHAT"

"Congrats!"

"Tell us everything!"

Kira went uncharacteristically in detail. Enthusiastically geeking over how pretty Yoko is and how excited she was for the date. She sighed and Ochako laughed.

"That's exactly how I talked about Tsu when I asked her out!"

"Really? Gimme some pointers. How did you seal the deal?" Kira asked, putting her hands together

"Well..." Tsuyu launched into the story teasing Ochako about the more awkward details.

My phone vibrated.

Eiji:

You guys are hopeless

Y/N:

Mr. Pent Up is not talking right now.

Meanie:

You literally started it!

Eiji:

I...okay I did but I'm ending it!

Meanie:

Oh so /you/ get to have your fun.

They went back and forth and this growing feeling of contentment and want filled me. I wanted to be close to them. I wanted to hear them argue. I couldn't stand it. Warmth and playful banter radiated from the chat and I needed to feel it physically. I got up from my spot. I walked over to the other two who gave me questioning looks. The table was silent .

"Sorry." I apologized to the rest of the table. "I really want to take these two home and cuddle if that's alright.

Kira was the first to answer.

"Sure. You should relax. You did something huge today." Kira said, giving me an understanding look.

Memories of my rougher nights where she'd drag me to the shooting range to yell and break things played at the back of my mind.

Kira and I were panting, surrounded by broken objects as we both dropped to the ground, needing to rest. I still felt like shit but I didn't feel like destroying anything or self-destructing anymore. Kira punched my shoulder. I looked at her tears still running down my face.

"I'm still so angry." I gritted my teeth as I pulled my knees to my chest.

I heard her moving until I felt her body next to mine as she laid on my shoulder. We gazed at the rundown building around us, both of us thinking of our individual experiences.

"Y/N. I can tell you from experience. One day you're gonna be okay. And then once that's normal. You're gonna be happy. I promise."

"What if I don't? It's...it's been almost a year and I'm still-" I gestured to everything and sighed, feeling defeated.

"You will. I know that for a fact. And if you're on your deathbed all 'I'm not happy and never was!' then I'll find someone to reverse our ages and make you happy myself. We can find and kill the guy or whatever you need. You ain't dying unhappy on my watch."

I snorted, the feeling so unfamiliar to me but slowly becoming more frequent with her.

"You better keep your promise."

"Bet your ass I will. But I know I won't need to do that. I'm right. And I'm gonna tell you I told you so. You overdramatic overgrown emo kid."

She mouthed it. 'I told you so'. And she did. A large rough hand grabbed mine. I looked over to Eijirou who stood up. He hesitantly wrapped his hand around mine. Then he reached for Katsuki. Who rolled his eyes and took it. I waved goodbye to everyone and we left. On the drive home it hit me. I really did do something huge. It may have been largely symbolic but it meant a lot to me. Seeing him behind bars, unable to do anything made me feel...safe. Being in my lover's arms made me feel safe. And I wanted to wrap myself up in the gentle love I've been starved of for so long.

We settled on the bed. This time I was in the middle. I guess they sensed something off with me. I laid on Katsuki's chest while Eijirou curved his taller body towards us. We watched a comforting movie and I felt myself relax. Fully and completely. No addendums. Eijirou kept holding onto my hand and running his other one through Katsuki's hair. It felt amazing. I pulled Eijirou closer and he smiled cuddling in close. The big teddy bear. Katsuki pretended to be cool about all the touchy feely stuff but I'm sure Eijirou and I both noticed how he leaned into the hand combing through his hair.

And I think we can all agree that in that moment we all felt right at home.

TO BE CONTINUED

#bakugo x reader #kirishima x reader #bakugo x reader x kirishima #bakugo x y/n #mha #bakugo katsuki #bakugou smut #bakugo katuski x reader #bakugo katuski #bnha bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugo smut #momento

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#sigh... its academia sad feels time #why? bc the way my brain works there are topics that im extremely interested in and i want to learn about them but #i get so caught up in learning abt them that its overwhelming and upsetting #so i feel like i dont kno enough abt the topics i really want to be researching and am intimidated to tall abt them to anyone #well versed in the topics #and it just makes me sad #but every so often i resolve to learn more and the only time i can think to do it in is when i read before bed #so i would be replacing fanfics for science and that also makes me sad bc im replacing something that is somewhat relaxing #with something that stresses me out and basically extends my work day even further #and i dont even kno if im working too much or slacking off bc theres always so much to do and i dont have a point of comparison #in terms of time to relax vs time to focus #idk but i really need to start looking for a job or phd #really i should wait on the phd bc im a bit burnt out but i kno working will be an immensely stressful transition #idk i dont really want to be an academic... i just want to do my own research and not talk to ppl #ugh i bet im so worked up abt this bc i was editing my cv and that always turns up the stress #idk im just tired #unrelated

[moreauz]

my former gifted kid playlist directory

autumn. frosted breaths, hot drinks, tweed blazers and knitted sweaters. coloured candles and stacks of classics in dimly lit rooms. library dates and early morning coffee runs. witches, pumpkins, brown jackets. the air is heavy but the coffee is warm. the leaves are falling and its time to fully embrace the dark academia aesthetic and go feral, as we do.

yearning. an almost constant state of being at this point. poetry, calloused fingers, white flowing shirts, candlelight, long eyelashes, twisting your ring on your finger, words dying in your throat every time you look at them, patterns traced on skin, a brush of fingers, fading memories, car conversations, sly nicknames, stolen kisses, broken promises.

introspection. coffee shops, foggy mornings, rainy evenings, city lights, flannel shirts, silver rings, dark colours, elliot smith, true crime podcasts, eye contact across a dim cafe, secondhand smoke, secondhand shirt, ink stains, faded jeans, chilly nights, messy notes, great music taste, probably gatekeeps, optimistic nihilist, feeling stuck, feeling like you’re meant for more than this.

feeling the big sad again. not really sure what brought it on, listening to sad songs to cope, rewatching comfort movies, nostalgia, self doubt, tracing a path on a map with your finger, leather watches, closed curtains, cancelled calls, staggered breaths, gasps for air, drying tears, midnight ice cream, watching the sunset, sighs of relief, hopeful smiles, things will get better.

overstimulated. too loud, too quiet, too many people, not enough. long walks,  art galleries and bookstores. tangled earphones and painted totebags. need to collect your thoughts, need an iced coffee. skipping every song because you can’t find the right one, your head's a mess but your outfit is great today.

love. slow songs, dancing in the kitchen, fingers intertwined, cheap wine, good company, philosophical talks on the roof, knowing looks and wry grins, laughing together while making breakfast, oversized sweaters and cold hands, flowing dresses and loosened ties, candles and annotated paperbacks, dirty jokes and warm hugs, home.

sunlight. rays streaming through the windows, it’s saturday and you can sleep in, warm sheets, freshly brewed coffee, a cat jumping onto the counter top, syrup and pancakes, plants on the windowsill, arms around your waist in the kitchen, the radio is playing, soft tunes cutting through the morning, you’re awake and ready to face the day.

moonlight. hot chocolate, fairy lights, thinking aloud, cozy socks, the feel of cotton and the smell of rain, making playlists and rereading childhood classics, cough percy jackson cough, indie folk music, the colour dark green, making tea, listening to traffic, worn-in sweatshirts and vines on the wall, lamps, late night snacks, doing your best.

iridescence. the feeling you get leaving a movie theatre. neon lights, midnight strolls, bus rides home, vivid pink clouds, blueberry slushies, shitty alcohol, leather jackets, the colour purple, a24 films, eyes closed against a car window, bubble gum, sarcasm, graffiti, disassociating at frat parties, retro diners at 2am, a secret romantic, tired, can’t wait to see the world.

arson. fiery eyes and deep purple eyeliner, kind of want to be left alone, kind of want to rule the world, smashing plates in abandoned houses, smudged mascara, 4am mcdonalds, stop signs, screaming lyrics from a rooftop, combat boots, chipped black nail polish, head banging and big smiles, conspiratorial winks and high fives, optimism and anarchy.

let’s get high. self explanatory.

dude that little kid is hardcore goth. soundtrack from when we were 14. sorry.

#TAG YOURSELF #introspection and overstimulated are warring in my mind #spotify playlist #playlists #spotify playlists #indie #concept playlist #concept playlists #aesthetics #aesthetic #music #taylor swift #Elliott Smith #Phoebe Bridgers #90s #abba #dark academia #music recs #rec #aesthetic playlist #inspo #lucifer #study #studyblr #tag yourselves

[shotorozu]

Hiii how's your day?

Can you do Shoto, Tamaki, and Katsuki where their s/o hides under their bed and scare them to see their reaction? I saw this on tiktok and here is the link https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSJLpvqrn/

Btw I really admire your works and I'm always excited for your new posts🥰

Keep safe! Love youu

hiding under their bed

(tiktok prank)

character(s) : bakugou katsuki, amajiki tamaki, todoroki shouto (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : crack (x reader)

note(s) : SWEARING obviously bc of bakugou, anyways— i wrote this bc i was fixing up the 5 character post i was making. (i hope you guys actually read it, otherwise i’ll be really really really sad /hj)

will edit later!

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki

okay, you must be INSANE

pretending to be a monster, under the bed you share with KATSUKI BAKUGOU?? what more if it was his bed 💀

you decided to do this prank for what again 😭❓ unless it’s for a bet/money, WHY?? JUST WHY?? you’re very ballsy. its impressive

you actually decided to pull this prank on katsuki, because you and mina wanted to see who could get the most views out of this prank 💀

you then hide under the bed— phone in hand, and you’re left to wait patiently for his expected return from training.

i can practically see your life span decreasing by 10 years, because he is not going to take things lightly.

he enters the room, aspirated from training, and obviously very sweaty— he just wants your touch at this point.

katsuki was always jumpy when it came to ‘spooky’ things, like that time he jumped during the test of courage in the training camp arc

so when he sees a slipper getting CHUCKED out from under the bed, exactly when he comes in the empty room— he JUMPS

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT” he jolts back, his hand making mini explosions— almost tripping over his feet.

c’mon, katsuki knows it’s probably not the paranormal— which is wHY HE’S GONNA CHUCK EVERYTHING OFF THE BED, AND LIFT IT UP TO INVESTIGATE

uh oh. you’re met with a set of glaring irises, wanting to fight whoever was down there— doesn’t matter if it was dunce face, or a nameless intruder.

“it’s you,” he sighs, rolling his eyes as he puts down the bed— dragging you out of the bed, “what the fuck are you doing down there??” he shouldn’t be surprised

you gotta hope the tiktok blows up (which it does, by a lot) because katsuki will scold you for a while, snuggling you close to him while he mouths you off

he’s glad it’s not actually an intruder though

amajiki tamaki

poor, poor tamaki.

it’s so similar to most of the pranks that get pulled on him— intentional or unintentional.

you probably didn’t even mean to scare him like that, but mirio wanted you to do it— because it would’ve been very predictable if he did it

you saw his reaction coming, but you still pushed through anyway.

hesitating, you sneak under the bed— your phone in hand to record tamaki’s reaction and a slipper in the other hand, and you wait for tamaki’s return back

when he walks in, he’s surprised to not see you there— but he IS surprised to see a slipper sliding out under bed

for the dramatic effect, you also managed to bring a SPEAKER down there, and you also prepare sound effects

you press the play button of the recording’s menacing laugh, and you can literally see him jump slightly

tamaki’s there like 😟 scared shitless— because he wasn’t expecting to hear a laugh under the bed. sliding slippers? sure! but,, a laugh? 😟

“u-uh,, hello?” he shakes, stuck in place as he listens to the sound of menacing laughter bouncing off the walls

you’re gonna give him a heart attack i swear

i don’t know if i should laugh or be concerned, since tamaki’s reaction is to immediately runs to the corner of the room

he’s now rocking back and forth— rambling and hoping you’d just miraculously make an entrance

it’s sad bc he’s not normally THIS scared but please— he wasn’t expecting this in HIS room, out of all of the places

laughs out of fear relief when you come crawling out from the bed, laughing hysterically at his reaction.

cuddle and give him kisses afterwards, just do it. you almost made him faint— and that wouldn’t have been good, nuh uh.

mirio laughed HARD, but you promised yourself not to post it— since you didn’t feel like getting clout over a prank you filmed for mirio specifically 💀

todoroki shouto

he gradually start expecting tiktok pranks coming his way— ever since he got with you, of course

shouto will have to get used to it, if he wants to spend his life with you

but this still managed to make him shook to the core, he’s heard of the usual traditional pranks— but this?? this is new

tbh this wasn’t even planned on your behalf. you decided on a whim to hide under the bed and scare him— just to see how he’d react.

you hide under the bed when makes a quick trip to fetch some water, snickering when you start filming the tiktok.

shouto’s confused when he comes back to an empty bed, and when he moves towards the bed— he’s surprised to see a slipper flying from the bed

to the point he DROPS the plastic cup of water he was holding— backing up towards the wall.

“oh.” so he’s going to play it off casual, huh? it’s hilarious seeing how he tries his absolute best to avoid the sides of the bed.

then, you see him quickly jumping onto the bed— and when his legs are still dangling off the bed’s ledge, you grab his ankle

he ends up freezing your hand 💀 and he apologizes to you while your laughter cuts through the silences, unfreezing your hand in the process.

“you startled me, love.” he sighed in relief as he embraces you for comfort, thankful it wasn’t actually something paranomal. “though, i should’ve expected this.”

the tiktok blows up in a short amount of time, and the comment section is CLOWNING him— shouto can only stand there like 🧍 “i see.”

thankfully, you’re happy so— he’s pretty pleased by the tiktok’s results too! just,, try not to shorten his life span. or he’ll get you back 10x harder

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

#bnha imagines #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha imagines #bnha x y/n #bnha fluff #todoroki shouto x reader #todoroki x reader #bnha headcanons #todoroki imagines #todoroki x y/n #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou imagines #bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #todoroki x you #bakugou x you #mha headcanons #amajiki imagines #amajiki x reader #amajiki tamaki x reader #amajiki x y/n #amajiki x you #mha fluff #todoroki headcanons #bakugou headcanons #amajiki headcanons

[spencers-renaissance]

i can't forgive me & you can't forget

Summary: Spencer is happy that his boyfriend is as compassionate as he is, but watching Derek do everything he can to help Strauss with her alcoholism when he stood by and did nothing back when he was struggling with his dilaudid addiction is beginning to take its toll.

Tags: hurt!spencer, miscommunication, angst, insecurity, est. rel., hurt/comfort, cuddling & snuggling, angst w a happy ending, fluff TW: referenced past drug use, addiction, and overdose, implied/referenced alcoholism

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 4.5k

Masterlist // Read on AO3 // The other fic in this universe

Inspired by @marisatomay’s post here!!! The title is from the second part of the poem Betrayal by Lang Leav.

It’s pushing ten pm by the time Spencer finally hears the front door open and close with a soft click, hears the rustling of Derek ditching his leather jacket on the crowded coat rack and toeing off his shoes — no doubt placing them neatly at the side of the hall like he always does — and listens to his footsteps as he nears the bedroom where Spencer’s been holed up since Derek left.

“Hey, baby boy,” Derek says with a warm, relaxed smile, his fingers already working on undoing his shirt buttons, before digging through their wardrobe to find a more comfortable top.

“Hey.”

Spencer watches him with tired eyes. He’s been feeling as hurt and despondent as he does this evening for weeks now, but tonight is the first time he doesn’t have the energy to hide it. He’s spent the entire afternoon in bed, and he’s certain it shows in the imprints of the creased pillowcase on his cheek and his messed up hair, and where just a couple of days ago he’d rush to hide those tells, he simply doesn’t care enough anymore.

Derek turns around from the wardrobe and shrugs off his shirt, replacing it with a soft blue t-shirt Spencer’s always liked on him. “Have you had anything to eat yet?”

Spencer shakes his head. Derek undoes his belt and switches his trousers for a pair of grey sweatpants before walking over to the bed and climbing onto the mattress, grinning cheekily as he rolls over Spencer’s body and leans down to press a tender kiss to the tip of his nose.

It’s sweet and romantic and so painfully normal, and maybe that’s exactly why he suddenly finds himself swallowing back tears. He’s hardly spent any time with Derek outside of work in weeks and he’s hurt and sad and struggling, and it’s only making it worse that his loving and attentive boyfriend hasn’t seemed to notice. Really, Spencer knows he needs to communicate, and that a significant part of his pain is his responsibility, but the shame—

“Well that just won’t do,” Derek murmurs, interrupting his thoughts as he brushes his fingers over a lock of curly hair resting on Spencer’s temple. “I’ll go and make you something. Or we can order in? What do you fancy?”

Spencer shrugs, looking away. He’s not trying to be difficult, it’s just incredibly hard to think about food and a relaxing night in with your partner when you feel like your insides are splintering and you’re just barely holding yourself together.

Even without looking directly at his face, Spencer can see Derek’s brow furrow and his happy expression fade, and soon enough Derek’s fingers are at his chin, gently moving his head until he’s looking at him again. “Hey, pretty boy,” he says gently, looking so concerned it makes his chest ache, “what’s wrong? Tell me what’s going on in that big old head of yours.”

So much of him wants to give in and tell him everything, wants to spill his fears and his anxieties and his anger and his shame onto the sheets of their bed and lay it all out for him. He wants to shout, “See? This is who I am! This is all my mess and my pain and my regret! Look at it!”

But he can’t. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before opening them again to meet the swirling worry in Derek’s deep, beautiful brown eyes and he wills himself not to cry. “Nothing,” he lies. “I’m just tired. Hungry.”

He knows Derek doesn’t believe him, but there isn’t much he can do if Spencer isn’t willing to communicate, so he nods reluctantly and leans down to place a kiss on his forehead this time, lingering there for a moment longer than he usually does. The feeling of his boyfriend hovering over him and asking him what’s wrong and kissing him so tenderly is all Spencer’s craved for weeks, but now it’s here, he still feels sad and empty and hollowed out by shame and bitterness, desperate for something more without so much as an idea as to what exactly more might entail.

“I tell you what, I’ll go make you some tortellini, alright? There’s a pack in the fridge and it only takes a couple of minutes so I’ll be back before you know it,” Derek promises, and Spencer can’t decide if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

Regardless, Derek hops off the bed and heads out to the kitchen, leaving Spencer alone in the softly lit bedroom. He pulls the duvet further up to his chin and buries his face in it, the soft fabric gentle on his skin, and the comforting scent of Spencer’s shampoo mingling with Derek’s cologne settling him slightly.

Derek had spent the afternoon with Strauss at the rehab centre. And not for the first time.

The problem is, how can Spencer be mad at him for that? Really, it’s the epitome of his character: genuine, constant, unconditional compassion for everyone around him, no matter who they are or what his history with them might be. Of course he’d see Strauss struggling with her addiction and swoop right in, getting her settled in at the centre and spending hours with her on visiting days, fighting alongside Hotch to persuade the director to let her keep her job.

But watching him leave every week, watching him text her encouraging messages, hearing him talk about her progress and recovery… it strikes a nerve deep inside Spencer. He isn’t proud of how he feels. He knows it’s petty and illogical, but he can’t help it.

Because somewhere deep in his soul, an old version of himself, a sad, lonely, scared, addicted-to-dilaudid boy is crying out, why didn’t you do that for me?

It’s that question that really plagues him. They’re called into work the next day for a fairly interesting case in North Dakota, and there are some fairly strong links to the world of academia, so usually, Spencer would be all over it, reeling off facts and statistics and reaching out to his contacts to further the case. But for some reason, he just can’t get his head in the game.

He finds himself zoning out on the jet and wandering off at crime scenes without even knowing where he’s going. Initially, his team had assumed that he was thinking, or was going somewhere deliberately that might help them with the case, they’d all counted on Doctor Reid to come up with some brilliant theory to bring them closer to catching their unsub.

But Hotch had quickly realised that his head was somewhere else and kept him close to his side from then on. At least staying at the police station with Hotch and being tasked with reading through the unsub’s literary work and constructing a geographical profile both gives him something specific to focus on, and — as much as Spencer hates to admit it — keeps him away from Derek.

“You want to tell me what’s going on?” Hotch asks gently when they both find themselves at the coffee pot in the late afternoon. He doesn’t look over at him, his eyes focused on the stream of coffee and creamer headed straight for his mug. Spencer knows it’s a tactic to make him feel less ambushed and more relaxed, but that doesn’t stop it from working.

“No,” he says honestly.

Hotch nods in acceptance. He puts a warm hand on his shoulder and squeezes briefly. “Well, you know where I am if you change your mind.”

Both JJ and Emily eye him suspiciously throughout the case as well, but no one is more confused and concerned than Derek. Spencer tries not to think about the irony.

“Baby, what’s got you all distracted like this?” Derek asks softly when they’re finally alone in their room that night, full up from the rushed dinner they’d all had in the lobby before crawling to their rooms for a couple of hours’ sleep before the manhunt continues in the morning. “This is so unlike you and you know it.”

Spencer doesn’t reply, just continues quietly changing into his pajamas before brushing his teeth and washing his face. Derek’s still sitting in the same position when he comes out, looking frustrated and contemplative, and Spencer feels guilty for making him feel this way, but he just doesn’t know what to do. He can’t act like everything's okay because it isn’t, and he’s tired himself out from pretending that it was for weeks, now. But he can’t tell him what’s going on either.

The thing is, how is Spencer supposed to admit that he’s still hurt over something that happened almost five years ago now? And how is he supposed to admit that Derek doing the right thing is only reopening wounds he’d tried so hard to heal and close? That both Derek and Hotch had specifically helped him heal and close?

He doesn’t know how to verbalise his feelings without sounding petulant or pathetic, so he doesn’t. He keeps them buried deep inside him and hopes desperately that no one comes digging.

“I’m fine, Derek,” he lies again, leaning down to kiss him gently before rounding the bed and crawling under the covers. “Just having an off day, I guess.”

Derek sighs but doesn’t push any further, clearly knowing a lost cause when he sees one. Instead, he follows in Spencer’s footsteps and gets ready for bed silently, whispering a quiet good night before switching off the lamp and climbing into bed on the other side.

It feels like the expanse of white sheet between them goes on for miles.

It’s the first time Spencer’s regretted Hotch’s decision to continue letting them share a room.

The question continues to plague him over the next week. He gets marginally better at pretending he’s not falling apart at the seams, and it’s enough to make almost everyone back off, but Hotch is still concerned and Derek is still confused, and he can feel himself drifting further away from the team each day, as though his rope tying him to the others has been cut, and now the current is having its way with him.

Nothing much changes. He continues in his hurt and lonely quietude, and Derek continues to ask what’s wrong, sighing sadly when he gets nothing out of him, and they exist in tandem.

It had always felt — ever since the beginning of their relationship — as though their relationship was a salsa dance. They were tangled in one another’s lives, both physically and emotionally, and they existed in this relaxed kind of ease that Spencer’s only ever seen before in long-term relationships. They’d fallen into a lucky, easy kind of love, and it was never as much work as everyone had promised him a relationship would be.

They’ve been together for four years, and their worst fight was over whether the cheese grater went in the cupboard next to the sink or above it. (Granted, it had spiraled into some other disagreements that came along with cohabitation, but. Still.)

Spencer knows he’s introducing a dynamic they’re unused to, and he hates it. Guilt plagues him, mingling with his shame and sadness until he’s drowning under the weight of it, no way to claw himself to the surface to take a breath.

They exist on parallel lines: next to one another; yet never crossing over. Their relationship is no longer a salsa dance.

The next off-day they have, Derek can’t get out the door fast enough. “I’m off to visit Erin,” he tells Spencer, and it still makes him irrationally angry that he’s stopped calling her Strauss and now refers to her like a friend.

Is it better that Strauss is now Derek’s friend? Him helping someone he actually cares about makes him not caring about Spencer all those years again slightly less of a gut-punch, he supposes. But the fact that Derek and Strauss of all people are becoming closer while he and Spencer drift apart hurts in a way he can’t even begin to explain.

This time, he spends the entire day crying. Every time the tears slow down and he catches his breath, another wave of grief and pain and anxiety and shame and jealousy crashes over him, and all of a sudden he can’t breathe again. It’s an exhausting cycle, and by the early afternoon his stomach muscles are aching and his ribs feel bruised.

It’s also the first day he gets a craving.

He’s an addict, right, he’s had periods of intermittent cravings over the years, that’s completely normal. Sometimes, even thinking about it in passing is enough for the itch to come back, to whisper the number of his old dealer in his ear, to recall in both his physical and mental memory the feeling that came with each press of the syringe.

This is the most intense one since his withdrawal immediately after waking up in hospital following his accidental overdose in his parking garage. It’s so intense that it scares him.

Crying harder than he thought it possible, he fumbles for his phone on the nightstand and — fighting the temptation to type in the digits of his dealer — he dials the number he’s had memorised since he was nineteen. He can’t speak through his gut-wrenching sobs, but he knows the sound of him crying this hard will be enough, so he lies in bed and continues his pity party until he hears the front door swing open and the rapid steps through the hall.

Soon enough, Hotch is pulling him into his arms and he finally feels a little less alone.

Hotch lets him cry himself out, and only when his tears have dried up and the hiccups have subsided does he say anything besides the reassuring murmurs he’d spoken into Spencer’s ears as he cried.

“Spencer,” he says — somewhat desperately — “please. You have to tell me what’s going on. Let me help you, okay? Whatever it is, I’m here. I won’t let you suffer on your own anymore, I promise.”

Spencer doesn’t raise his head from its position buried in Hotch’s t-shirt, but he does finally say something. He doesn’t know what overrides the shame that’s kept him quiet — maybe it’s the exhaustion or the loneliness finally winning out — but whatever it is, he’s glad it does.

“I had a craving today,” he whispers, because it seems like a good place to start. “Haven’t been feeling good since, uh. Since… Strauss.”

It’s hopelessly phrased, but it’s the best way he can explain it and Hotch, being the miracle profiler and father figure of Spencer Reid, figures it out instantly.

He feels the way he slumps slightly, hears the tired, frustrated sigh, and knows he’s probably beating himself up for not figuring it out sooner.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I just… I couldn’t. I didn’t know how.”

Hotch shushes him. “You don’t need to apologise for that, Spencer, don’t be sorry. I’m the one who should be sorry for being so blind, and I am. I hate that you’ve been suffering like this and we’ve all been too stupid to realise why.”

“It still, it still hurts,” he says quietly, sadly, regretfully, “it still hurts that no one helped me until it was almost too late. But everyone dropped everything to help Strauss— I’m sorry, it’s so selfish, I shouldn’t be—”

“Hey, Spence,” Hotch interrupts him, caressing his arm gently. “It isn’t selfish. It’s human. And you’re right, we should have helped you sooner and it’s always been my greatest regret that we didn’t, and that because of that dereliction of duty, we almost lost you.”

“I’m not, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or anything—”

“Spencer, I know that. But you need to stop feeling guilty for how you feel, alright? It makes complete sense that this is bringing up both the feelings of rejection and betrayal, and also cravings for the drug you were addicted to at the time. It’s so obvious that I don’t know how I didn’t see it earlier.”

Spencer nods, but he doesn’t say anything for a couple of minutes. “Derek’s been visiting Strauss on our days off,” he admits quietly. “I’ve barely seen him for almost a month now, and that— it isn’t helping.”

“I can understand that. Have you talked to him about any of this?” he asks, even though Spencer’s sure Hotch already knows the answer.

He shakes his head.

“I know it’s hard, Spence, I really do, but I think you need to talk to him. Obviously, it would’ve been better if both he and I had figured it out without you having to tell us, but clearly, he isn’t going to realise by himself. I know that as soon as you explain it, he’ll understand completely.”

Spencer sighs. Some part of him had known this was coming, he just didn’t know how it would come about. He wouldn’t have put money on Hotch being involved, but maybe he should have done. He always seems to come to Spencer’s rescue.

“He’ll probably be out for a while. He usually stays out for hours when he goes to visit her.”

“Well, how about I stay until he comes home, and then you can talk to him? How does that sound?”

Spencer looks up at him. “What about Jack?”

“He’s out with a friend and their family anyway,” Hotch reassures him, smiling as he runs a hand down his arm. “Now how about I make you some tea and we go and sit on the sofa?”

Spencer reluctantly agrees and moves from the safety of his bed to the comfort of his sofa, but he has to admit that the light streaming in from the big bay window and the feeling of sitting up makes him feel just a little better straight away. Once Hotch is back and placing a cup of chamomile tea into his hands, he doesn’t feel quite so much like he’s going to burst into tears at any moment.

“I have to ask, Spencer,” Hotch says carefully, “did you buy any dilaudid? Or attempt to contact your dealer?”

“Thought about it,” he admits, not meeting Hotch’s concerned eyes, “but I didn’t.”

Hotch relaxes. “Good. I’m proud of you, you know.”

Spencer looks at him with a hesitant smile that only grows when Hotch beams back.

They spend the afternoon watching nature documentaries — and Spencer admittedly dozes through a lot of them, exhausted from the burden of carrying so much pain around and the physical exertion of crying so hard — until Derek comes home at just gone five thirty.

“Hotch?” he asks, confused, and his voice wakes Spencer up from one of his unintentional naps.

He scrambles to sit upright, going inexplicably red at the thought of what he knows is coming. For some reason, he feels like he’s done something wrong and he’s about to be told off. He hates that this is what his relationship with Derek has come to.

“Hi, Derek,” Hotch says, squeezing Spencer’s ankle and getting up from the sofa. “Spencer asked me to come over earlier” — which is a bit of a stretch when really Spencer sobbed into the phone until Hotch showed up — “and I was just keeping him company until you came home.”

Derek’s eyebrows only furrow further, looking between them, confused. “Right.”

“Spencer,” Hotch says, meeting his eyes, ���are you okay if I go now? You’ll tell Derek what we talked about?”

Immediately, Spencer blushes red as Derek’s scrutinising eyes fixate on him, but he nods and smiles weakly at Hotch, following him with his eyes as he lets himself out, if just to avoid meeting Derek’s.

“Pretty boy?” Derek says cautiously, slowly taking off his jacket and approaching the sofa like Spencer’s a wild animal liable to be spooked away at any given moment. He supposes it’s probably quite a good analogy, actually.

Spencer shifts nervously in his seat, moving his legs out of the way to give Derek more room to sit down on the sofa.

“You finally gonna tell me what’s been up with you these last few weeks?” Derek asks, and Spencer isn’t oblivious to the hope in his voice. “I’ve been worried about you, baby.”

Spencer nods and closes his eyes for a moment, taking a couple of deep breaths to compose himself. He’s told one person, and it went fine— it went well, actually. Derek is his life partner, his soulmate, and they tell each other everything. He just needs to start at the beginning. He needs to tell him all of the disclaimers, remind him that he’s not angry at him for doing the right thing or for being the compassionate person he is, he just needs to— He needs to focus, and he needs to tell the truth.

“I called Hotch earlier because I was scared of myself,” he says, finally opening his eyes and looking into Derek’s. “I was having some of the most intense cravings I’ve had since being sober, and I was seriously considering calling my dealer, but I managed to call Hotch instead, and we talked about how I’ve been feeling.”

“Baby, I’m so sorry I wasn’t here,” Derek says regretfully, his face melting into the very picture of apologetic as he scoots a bit closer on the sofa so he can grab Spencer’s legs and pull them over his lap.

“I know,” Spencer replies, ignoring for now that him not being here is why they have a problem in the first place. He moves on. “I’ve been… struggling… over the last month or so with feelings that I haven’t really known how to rationalise or explain, and when I finally did make sense of them, I felt that I couldn’t share them with anyone, which is why I’ve been so distant and private. And I’m sorry for that, by the way.”

Derek just smiles, caressing his bare ankle with one hand as he rests his other over his shin.

He pauses for a moment, trying to find the best way to word his thoughts, but before he can think about it too hard, the words come spilling out, unbidden. “I’ve found it hard to reconcile your attentiveness and willingness to throw everything at helping Strauss, and the way no-one helped me with my addiction back in 2007.”

Derek’s face instantly falls, and saying the words out loud brings all the emotions he’d managed to control back again in full force, and suddenly his face is crumpling, too. Derek surges forward, moving them both until he’s situated between the sofa cushions and Spencer, cuddling him as close as he can while Spencer cries into his chest.

“I’m so sorry, baby, I’m so sorry,” he whispers, voice breaking as he begins to cry as well. “I’m sorry I didn’t do anything then and I’m sorry I didn’t put two and two together to realise why you were struggling so much. I can’t believe I was so oblivious, Spence, oh God.”

They lie there for a long time, crying together as Derek runs his hands through Spencer’s hair and Spencer clings desperately to the fabric of Derek’s t-shirt.

“I was just feeling so distant from you because we weren’t spending as much time together, and I had no idea how to admit that I was feeling hurt about something that happened almost five years ago,” he continues when they’ve both calmed down again, and they’re ready to resume the conversation. “I guess I just felt… ashamed of both my feelings now and being jealous, which is so ridiculous, I had no idea how to tell anyone how I was feeling. And I’m so sorry that my lack of communication affected us so much.”

“Oh, baby,” Derek sighs, leaning in to press a kiss to Spencer’s lips. “You don’t need to be sorry. I’m sorry that I was hurting you when I should’ve known the effect my actions would have. This whole mess is on me for so many reasons.”

“Der, I don’t want you to feel guilty,” Spencer says insistently, urgently, looking at him imploringly. “You’ve apologised enough for what happened back then, and there’s no way we can change what happened. You were just being the same kind and compassionate person you always are when you were helping Strauss.” He reaches out and cups Derek’s face gently, hating the tells of guilt and self-loathing he can see all over it.

Derek sighs and moves Spencer’s hand to his lips so he can kiss his palm. “When I was sitting in that hospital room waiting for you to wake up,” he explains, “I made a promise to myself. I told myself that I would never let anyone down like that again. I was never going to stand back and watch anyone else I knew fall into the same trap you did. So when I realised Strauss had a drinking problem, all I saw was an opportunity to keep that promise.

“The only problem was that I was so wrapped up in doing the right thing in helping her that I wasn’t doing the right thing by you. I should’ve realised all the feelings, physical and emotional, that this would bring up for you, but I didn’t think. I’m so sorry, baby boy, I really am.”

Spencer cuddles back into Derek, burying his face in the juncture between his neck and shoulder and relaxing into the reassuring scent of his person. “I know, Der. I forgive you.”

“How about we order in some Thai for dinner from your favourite restaurant and watch some Doctor Who?” Derek suggests after a couple of minutes of silence. “I think we’re long overdue for some quality time together.”

Spencer smiles at him, feeling so much of the heaviness that’s been weighing him down over the last few weeks lift that he feels almost like he’s floating. “I think that sounds like a plan.”

They set the living room up to be as cosy as possible, lighting the candles Penelope had made for them and using only their soft lamps to light the room, before piling the couch high with blankets and pillows until they’re cuddled together in a little nest.

The evening is spent eating their favourite food and watching their favourite season of Doctor Who, and while Spencer’s still hurting and they still have healing to do, this feels like a damn good start.

“I’m proud of you,” Spencer whispers to Derek late into the night, when they’re close to falling asleep in the comfort of their blanket pile.

Derek turns to him, looking confused. “What do you mean?”

“You made a mistake when you let things get bad with my addiction back in 2007,” Spencer explains, “and when you saw someone headed down the same path, you stopped at nothing to make sure you didn’t make that mistake again. If anything shows me how much you regret not doing anything sooner, it’s your devotion to Strauss’ recovery.”

Derek smiles at him, his eyes a little watery, and holds his chin gently as he leans in to kiss him. “I love you,” he murmurs. “I love you so much.”

Spencer kisses him again before cuddling back into his side. “I know you do, Derek. And I love you, too.”

And really, when it comes down to it, that’s enough.

Ahhh, this was the first fic in forever that actually felt fairly easy to write thank GOD. I loved this concept and writing that good, good angst was so much fun. Plus, we always love a happy ending in this house! Also, a reminder that how other people when you confront them with the way they hurt you or made you feel is not your responsibility.

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @lesbiantodds @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @enbyspencer @reidology @transhanniballecter @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @hotchscotchh @marsjareau @oliverbrnch @im-autistic @anxious-enby @kuolonsyoja @reidreids @ropoto @thosecriminalminds @wifeyprentiss @cmily @love-pyramus @notevanbuckley @thebipolarbisexualnerd (add yourself to my taglist here!)

#my writing #moreid #derek morgan #spencer reid #criminal minds #cm #moreid fic #moreid fanfic #moreid fanfiction #criminal minds fic #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds fanfiction #derek morgan/spencer reid #derek morgan x spencer reid #spencer reid/derek morgan #spencer reid x derek morgan #tw past drug use #tw referenced drug use #tw substances #tw alcoholism

[whom-the-hell]

Can I request a Part 2 to the MHA arguments you posted? Like the S/O breaks up with them afterwards, coldly telling them off and never speaking to them again?

Part 3 of MHA arguments! (But with a twist)

TW: IN THE DABI HEADCANON/FIC THERE WILL BE GORE/BLOOD! IF YOU AIN’T COMFORTABLE WITH THAT PLEASE MOVE ON AND READ THE SHIGARAKI HEADCANONS!

Part 1: Here

Part 2: Here

Keywords used: Y/n: your name

Anime: My hero academia/boku no hero academia

Izuku Midoriya:

-”Sorry puppy...” he said with his head down and flowers in his hands.

-You look at him and sigh, giving him a disappointed look. “I think that it would be better if we just ended this relationship and forgot about each other...” You give Deku a weak smile, while he looked at you with wide eyes.

-His eyes started to form glossy tears, some of them already dropping from his eyes.

-”Y-You can’t do this Y/n! W-We can work this out! Don’t you see that I love you?!” Deku shouts, flowers falling to the cold cement ground.

-You look at him while trying to hold back your own emotions.

-”Sorry Izuku, goodbye...”

-And just like that, you shut the door at his face, making him cry even more.

-Texts and missed calls started to pop up from your phone, all saying things like: “Y/n, I’m sorry!”

“Y/n, please answer the phone!”  

“Why aren’t you answering?!”

-Back at school things were even worse, Deku wasn’t the happy and motivated student he used to be before.

-He became dark and shallow, not talking to anyone. He started to miss training and didn’t even talk to All Might.

-Even Bakugou got weirded out by Deku’s weird behavior.

“Oi, Deku! Stop acting like a wimp and start training seriously!”  

-Izuku also started to fail all of his classes, barely passing any of them.

“Hey Deku, do you maybe want to go and study with me, Iida and Todoroki?” Ochaco asked.

“No... I think I’ll pass...”

Katsuki Bakugou:

-Bakugou had a hard grip on your hand, almost hurting you.

-”Katsuki let go!” You shout at him.

-He grits his teeth and let’s go of your hand, leaving a small bruise on the side of your wrist.

-”Listen, I’m sorry for being such an ass, I didn’t mean to lash ou-” Bakugou started to say his apology but you cut him off.

-”I don’t think this is going to work out...” You sigh, clearly annoyed at him.

-He stares at you, not expecting for you to say that.

-“I think that it would be better if we just ended whatever we have going on before this gets worse.” You continued, looking Bakugou dead in the eyes.

-He just stood there, not knowing how to answer. His thoughts went blank, his mouth got dry, his body became limp. He didn’t want to lose the most important person to him.

-”I’m done Bakugou, don’t talk to me ever again.” You say and turned around, walking away from that now broken guy.

-He looked at your body making its way further and further away from him, your shoes making a clicking noise every time you take a step forward.

-And he just stood there, not knowing what to do. Should he chase you? Should he let you go? He didn’t know.

-After the break up, things didn’t go so smooth for Bakugou.

-He got nightmares about you, and not to remember you, he stayed up all night long, not getting a minute of sleep.

-He became more aggressive and his anger issues grew bigger, making himself unapproachable for others.

-He distanced himself from his friends and family, not speaking a word to anyone.

-If anyone ever annoyed him, he literally blew them up, not caring if he injured anyone.

Shoto Todoroki:

-Ochaco laughed at the confused look written across Todoroki’s face.

-”Don’t be shy Todoroki, now go!” She said.

-Todoroki tilts his head and looks at your window that is on the second floor. “Do I really have to do this?” He asks Uraraka.

-”Oh c'mon! You’ll totally get them to forgive you if you pull this off correctly!” She hypes Todoroki up.

-Todoroki sighs and starts to climb up to your window, where he saw you sitting on the bed while scrolling through your phone.

-He gently taps at your window, getting your attention.

-You slightly jump up, not expecting to see Shoto beside your bedroom window that is on the second floor.

-You open the window up, letting him in.

-”Hey Y/n.” He smiles slightly. His eyes glistening with happiness.

-”Is he happy to see me?” You think to yourself...

-There is a moment of silence between both of you. Even though it didn’t seem like that to you.

-”Shoto, I have to tell you som-” Not even letting you finish talking, he cuts you off.

“No, let me talk first. I had to tell you that I didn’t mean anything I said back there! I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, and I surely didn’t want to lose you. So please, forgive me...” He speaks.

-You look at him, your fists clenching together.

“Shoto, listen. I don’t think that I’m happy with you anymore. I don’t want to be with you anymore, I don’t...love you...”

-His heart dropped, his skin went pale, his eyes widened, his body went limp. He looked down and gritted his teeth, not because he’s mad, but because he was thinking on how to save this relationship.

-”Could you please, look through the window...” He said to you under his breath.

-And with confusion written all across your face, you looked through it.

-There you saw a big sign spelling out “I love you” in all caps. Your favorite flowers used as decoration for the sign, and Uraraka standing with something of what seemed to be a box of chocolates in her hands.

-”Uraraka helped me with all of this...” Todoroki spoke behind you.

-And you just stood there, shocked.

-”Get out.” You say.

-Todoroki looks up at you, scared of what will happen next.

-”Sorry...?” He mutters out.

-”I said, get.out.” You speak with anger in your voice.

-After that incident with you, Todoroki was broken.

-He didn’t know what to do and what to feel. A mix of sadness and anger would rush through him just at the thought of you.

-Todoroki didn’t really seem different at school, but at night shit would go down.

-He would literally scream into the pillow at night whenever he got dreams about you.

-Sweat would rush through his whole body just at the thought of you with another person.

-He would also mutter out your name whenever he’s sleeping, sometimes so loud that everybody could hear.

Tenya Iida:

-You walked out of your classroom and headed to the cafeteria with the rest of your friends.

-”Should I really break up with him?” You ask your friends that were walking right beside you.

-”If you aren’t happy in a relationship, what’s the point in having one?” Your friend answers confidently.

-”I guess you’re right...” You let out a sigh and continue to talk to your friends.

-Suddenly, you hear very fast walking behind you. That person was going at the same speed of only one person you knew.

-”Y/n! Please give me a minute!” I male voice yell’s out from behind you.

-Your friends look at you and then at the person behind you. “Good luck-” One of your friend's whispers to you.

-You stop and look behind you and yes, that was Iida.

-”Y/n! I deeply apologize for being such a horrible boyfriend! I am very sorry for the words that came out of my mouth that day, I did not mean one thing I said to you, and I wanted for you to know that I deeply care about you!” Iida bows in front of you while apologizing in a formal manner.

-People were passing by and looking at both of you, wondering what was going on.

-”Iida, stand up normally.” You let out a snicker.

-He looks up at you, with a look you’ll never forget.

-His eyes had deep, dark eye bags under his eyes, his hair was a mess, his uniform wasn’t as clean as it was before.  

-”Iida... I’m tired of this. I’m tired of all of this. You keep making me feel like you owe me something by saying your apology. I’m just going to spit it out and say that I do NOT want to date you anymore.” You speak.

-Iida didn’t say anything, but tears started to form in his eyes.

-”I don’t think I’m happy with you anymore... I don’t think that...we are happy together. I think it would be better if we break up and each one of us could go different ways.” You continue.

-And just like that Iida’s legs gave up and fell to the floor, making him sit on his knees.

-Tears flooded out from his tired, but beautiful blue eyes as he made those weird hiccupping noises to breath.

-He didn’t say anything though, just sat there.

-”Bye, Iida.” You say and head back to the cafeteria.

-After the break up, Iida came back to his normal self. He focused on his grades and tried to forget about you, but he couldn’t.

-Just like Todoroki, things would go down at night for Iida.

-He would literally go out at 3am to the places you visited together just to remember you and your beautiful voice.

-He couldn’t forget about you even if he wanted to, you were too special to him.

-He started to look through your social media photos and look at you being happy, having the time of your life.

-Of course, I’m not saying that it would be easy for you after the break up, but I do think that Iida would suffer a bit more than you would.

-He also has a book where he wrote your name in if he ever remembers you... Yeah, he had to buy a new book...

Ejiro Kirishima:

-You walk out of the shower, relaxed and enjoying yourself.  

-”I can’t believe it’s already night.” You think to yourself.

-Suddenly you see your phone vibrate and its screen light’s up.

-You walk up to it and place it in your soft hands, looking through your texts to see who was texting you.

-”Kirishima...” You sigh.

The text said: “Hey Y/n, long time no see, eh? I wanted to ask you if you could go to the town’s bridge right now?”

-You had a confused look on your face but decided to just get this over with and come to the bridge.

-You quickly dress up and head out to the town.

-”What could he possibly want at the town bridge...? I mean, I know it’s a beautiful place and all, but why there?” You think to yourself as you were getting closer to the destination.

-Suddenly you stop. “What the...” You mutter out.

-There were romantically lit candles all across the bridge, balloons flying all around you, rose petals scattered all across the bridge making a path to where Kirishima was standing.

-The moon was so beautiful and big, it seemed that it was glowing brighter than ever before.

-”Oh! You came!” Kirishima smiles at the sight of you standing beside the rose petal path he made.

-”What is all of this...?” You mutter out.

-”This? Oh, well I thought you would like it, so me, Denki and Sero decided to decorate it to your liking.” Kirishima says proudly.

-”Kir-” You try to say Kirishima’s name, but he cuts you off.

-”No, let me talk first. My so called ‘manliness’ and ego got in a way of our relationship, and I had to tell you that you are more important to me than anything in this world. I had to tell you that I love you, so if you could just forgive me, I promise that I would never hurt you ever again...”  

-Great, now he makes a good apology and a romantically lit place. How can you break up with him when goes through all of this effort just to please you?

-”Just spit it out Y/n, you could do this...” You think to yourself.

-You look at Kirishima and notice his beautiful red eyes were glistening and he had a big smile on his face. -”Kirishima, I don’t want this...” You mutter out, not making eye contact with him.

-”What do you mean?” He says with a confused voice.

-”I’m saying that I'm breaking up with you Eijiro.” You say while gritting your teeth.

-Kirishima stood there, scared, confused, sad, broken.

-”W-What? You’re joking, right?!” He shouts.

-”No Kiri, it’s really over...cya later...” You turn around and head back home, tears forming in your eyes.

-Kirishima fell to the cold floor with tears overflowing his face. He cried and cried for about 10 minutes when he decided to stand up and clean everything up.

-Things got worse from there. He didn’t sleep, eat, study, talk or do anything for days.  

-All he did was sleep in bed and cuddle up to a big pillow imagining that it was you.

-He cried, a lot. He got nightmares about you, he had hallucination's that you were right beside him and everything horrible was happening to him in the span of those 3 weeks you were broken up.

-Things did get a bit better when Kirishima’s friends started to take care of him, but he wasn’t the same after you left him.

Hanta Sero:

-It was another boring day in class, you were still in an argument with Sero, and nothing really interesting happened.

-”Okay calm down you brats and listen up. I will be gone for 5 minutes to go to the principal Nezu’s office. Iida, you’re in charge of the class. Make sure nobody pokes out their eyes with pencils.” Aizawa says in front of the class and shortly after, leaves.

-Of course, nobody listened. There was so much noise you can probably hear the shouting of the class from outside the building.

-Sero, thought it would be a good idea to apologize to you in front of the whole class, so, he did.

-He stood up onto his chair and shouted.

“HEY GUYS, CAN YOU PLEASE CALM DOWN A BIT I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY TO MY BELOVED Y/N!”  

-Suddenly, the class goes silent. Iida kinda mad at Sero for standing on his chair, but he let Sero go.

-”Y/n, babe. I’m sorry for being so ignorant towards you and your feelings! I promise that I will make sure to spend more time with you than my friends, and I promise that I can make you happy with me again!” He shouts out so you can hear him.

-Blush started to form on your cheeks, not because you actually liked the apology, but because of embarrassment.

-Suddenly, everyone’s eyes were on you. Everybody cheering on both of you and waiting for your next move.

-”I-I...” You mutter out from embarrassment.

-Sero looks at you with pleading eyes, as if making you feel guilty for doing this to him.

-You’ve snaped and took Sero’s hand, getting him off his chair and heading out of the classroom.

-”What the hell do you think you’re doing?! Do you even realize how much you just embarrassed me?! Everybody are probably waiting for my answer to be ‘I forgive you’, but Sero I DON’T LOVE YOU!” You scream, realizing your voice was a bit too high.

-Sero’s smile drops, and a serious look appears on his face.

-”What, did you say...?” He asks, his eyes wide open.

-”I said, I don’t love you. I want a break up.” You sigh, feeling relief rush through your body.

-Sero didn’t answer, he just looked at you.  

-”Hanta, goodbye...” You smile and head back to the noisy class.

-After class, he rushed to his dorm where he cried for HOURS.

-He wasn’t talking to any of his friends and made sure his door was locked.

-In the mornings, he didn’t eat, so his friends put food beside his door, hoping he’ll eat something.

-Depression and anxiety took over him and his thoughts, Sero didn’t know what to think nor do.

-All he wanted is to have you back, he didn’t care if you wouldn’t love him. Just, be beside him and he’ll be happy.

-He did talk to his friend, saying everything is okay when it clearly wasn’t.

Denki Kaminari:

-You get a call from Mina out of nowhere while you were doing your homework.

-”Hey girl, what’s up?” You answer the phone with a happy voice.

-”Hey there bestie! Listen here, I need you to come to my house pronto, I gotta show you some!” Mina says.

-And just like that, you arrived at Mina’s house, not expecting anything, BUT OHO HO OH NO. You were wrong <3

-As you take a step into her house, you see a light-yellow haired person sitting on the couch.

-”Haha, I forgot to take something from my garage, you just wait here.” Mina smiles and goes out of the house through the front door, closing it after her?

-You giggle and take a step into the living room where you saw him...

-”D-Denki?! What the hell are you doing here?!” You shout.

-”Y/n! Oh, thank god you came! Please listen on what I have to say!” Denki shouts back.

-”We have nothing to talk about Denki.” You answer him with a serious tone, almost sounding like you were angry and about to kill him.

-”Y/n, I love you! J-Just listen to me and my apology!” Denki says with big, pleading puppy eyes.

-You sit down on the couch, criss cross applesaucing your legs.

-”Baby, I’m SO sorry for being a terrible boyfriend! I know I didn’t spend much time with you, and I do know that you felt left out, so from this day on I swear that I will care about you even more!” He said, sincere words coming out of his mouth.

-But this wasn’t it. This, wasn’t the problem that got you angry at the first place. Did he really just have the audacity do apologize to you for something and not knowing what the cause of the problem was in the first place?!

-”Denki... Do you really not know why I’m mad at you?” You ask him, clenching your fists behind your back because of anger and disappointment.

-”Well, it’s because I didn’t give you enough attention...?” He answers, unsure of his answer.

-”KAMINARI, REALLY?! DID YOU JUST REALLY TRY TO APOLOGIZE TO ME AND NOT KNOW WHAT FOR?!” You scream at him.

-Denki sits there, confused and scared of what will happen next.

-”IT’S BECAUSE YOU KEEP FLIRTING WITH OTHER PEOPLE DENKI! IT’S BECAUSE YOU NEVER CARE ABOUT HOW I FEEL! HOW HARD WAS IT TO REALIZE IT?!” You continue screaming at him.

-Suddenly, everything goes silent. You run out of breath and patience, proceeding to say: -” I... I’m not happy in this relationship... Why the fuck would I date you, if you’ll just continue to flirt with everyone later on? Kaminari, I’m breaking up with you.”

-The world crashed underneath Denki’s feet. The feeling of pain proceeding to crash into him straight after.

He wanted to scream, but no words came out of his mouth. He was shocked, he was scared...

-”I’ll get going now...” You sigh and go out the door, meeting Mina on the way.

-”Sorry bub, I’ll check the thing out you wanted for me to see later.” You give her a weak smile and leave.

-Denki felt broken.

-He felt like everything amazing in this world vanished and the happiness he had once in his life vanished with you.

-He was calm at school, a bit too calm if you ask me.

-He didn’t talk to anyone and just sat there with a blank face beside his desk.

-But sometimes, he would leave the middle of the class to go to the bathroom and just cry there for the end of class.

-His friends would then find him and bring him back to the dorm for him to calm down.

-He would also shock anyone who touches him too, but it’s always an accident as he doesn’t expect anyone to touch him.

Hitoshi Shinsou:

-Finally! You’ve did it! You baked the fucking cake you tried to bake three times for no god damn reason, but at least now you feel accomplished.

-You look through your window and notice that it was already night time.

-”How long have I been baking for?” You think to yourself.

-Anyways, you cleaned up your kitchen and headed to your room where you changed into comfortable clothes and laid down on the bed.

-Suddenly, you get a bunch of texts at the same time and you feel like your phone is about to explode.

-”Who can be texting me at this hour?!” You mutter out and check your notifications.

-”43 UNREAD MESSAGES?!” God dang, who can be texting you so much? Did Sero get stuck on the ceiling again? Or did Bakugou explode Mina’s room?

-Thought’s ran through your head about who could’ve texted you but...you were wrong.

Shinsou:

*sad cat video*

*sad cat video*

*sad cat video*

*sad cat video*

*sad cat video*

*sad cat video*

*sad cat video*

*sad cat video*

*35 more, sad cat video’s*

----------------------------------------

-”Hello Y/n. How have you been? I had to tell you that I’m sorry for being such a terrible boyfriend. I truly love you, and I didn’t mean to lash out on you. *more smart words because I’m lazy to write anything bla bla bla, boom done*, I hope you can forgive me, and my terrible actions.”

-Is he actually serious right now?! Why couldn’t he tell you this in person?! Was he scared? Does he mean anything he just texted you?!  

                                                                                                                      Y/n:

               -Are you serious?! Why can’t you just tell me this in person?! What          kind of apology even is this? Shinsou, if you would really want for me to forgive you, you would come and talk to me in person. How am I supposed to know that this is genuine?

Shinsou:

-This is genuine! I didn’t think you would like to talk to me in person so I just texted you-

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Does he really think you’re that stupid to forgive him, just like that? -You sigh in annoyance and text back to him:

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Y/n:

                           -I guess this is easier. Well, if we’re on the topic of texting and                              saying things that come to our minds, I guess I'll just spit it out.

Shinsou:

-Spit what out...?

                                                                                                                        Y/n:

                                                                  -Shinsou, I’m breaking up with you-

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

-There was no text back from Shinsou for a minute. You knew he read the message because underneath your text it said *read*

-”What could he be doing that he doesn’t text me back?” You think to yourself.

-Finally, you get a text back from him:

Shinsou:

-Alright.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

And just like that, you blocked his number and got back to bed, peacefully falling asleep and not thinking about what happened 5 seconds ago. Your body felt relief as you finally broke up with Shinsou and got this thought off of your chest.

-He on the other hand... Eh, let’s say he was not happy.

-Shinsou was mad, furious. “How could they break up with me OVER TEXT?!”

-He was angry at you and himself. “If I were a better boyfriend this wouldn’t have happened in the first place... But they could’ve at least broken up with me in person!”

-He got more sleep deprived than before, not getting a second of sleep.

-He didn’t cry, he didn’t get nightmares, but he did get hallucinations of you.

-He found himself thinking of you constantly. You were practically the only person on his mind 24/7.

-At school, he thought about just finding you and apologizing for hours.

-But, he didn’t do that. He was scared you were going to reject him and humiliate him in front of everyone. (His mind says “go apologize” but his insecurities said no <3)

Dabi: (ONCE AGAIN TW FOR SOMEBODY WHO HATES BLOOD/A BIT OF GORE! IF YOU AIN’T COMFORTABLE WITH READING SUCH THINGS, PLEASE CONTINUE READING THE SHIGARAKI HEADCANONS!)

-Your eyes flutter open, just to see a bright light of a lamp shining into your eyes.

-”Oh, god! What the fuck?!” You shout out, almost getting blind. (I would get mad too)

-You suddenly feel your arms tied up with something of what felt like a rope.  

-”Oh, you’re awake. Took you long enough.” A male voice calls out you from behind you.

-Chills ran down your spine as you didn’t know what was happening. “What’s happening? Where am I? Who is that male?” thoughts ran through your head.

-Your start to try and move, but your legs were also tied up so you couldn’t do much.

-”Haha, you look so scared. Like a kitty taken against its will.” The male says, softly chuckling after.

-You didn’t say anything, not because you didn’t want to, but because you couldn’t. The fear that was growing inside of you didn’t let you even make a word out for you to say.

-The male moves the lamp away from your eyes.

-Finally, you can see! Your eyes adjust to the new lighting and your eyes open wide.

-The male, was your boyfriend...

-”D-Dabi?! What the hell are you doing?! Are you out of your god damn mind?!” You scream, shocked and surprised on seeing Dabi.

-”What do you mean? Were you never taken out on a date by your significant other?” He says with a big smile spreaded across his face.

-”Taken out on a date?! Do you think this is some kind of joke?! YOU KIDNAPED ME YOU FUCKER!” You scream at the top of your lungs.

-Suddenly, you feel Dabi’s hand holding your neck with a rough grip, slightly using his quirk and leaving marks on you. You couldn’t breathe, your eyes were rolling back into your head.

-”If you don’t want to be hurt, you better pick your words carefully before making me do something I might regret.” He says with a harsh voice and let’s go of you and your neck.

-You gasp for air while coughing your lungs out. “Is this guy out of his mind?!” You think to yourself.

-You hear Dabi sigh as he sits down in front of you.

-”Listen Y/n, I'm sorry. I know I might not be the best boyfriend you’ve ever had, but c’mon, how can you not love someone like me?” He gives you a soft smile and continues. “I love you babe, and I’m sorry.”

-You look at him, tears forming in your eyes.

-God, he really liked it when you cried. And as toxic as it may sound, he loved it when you suffered.

-”Well, what do you say? Will you forgive me?” Dabi asks with a grin stuck on his face.

-You look at him and then at the floor. “I think that... It would be better if we ended whatever this is. Dabi, I don’t love you, and it definitely doesn’t seem like you love me either.” You mutter out, but that was enough for him to hear you.

-He suddenly stood up, not saying a word, making his way to a table in the corner of the room.

-You look at him, confused. “What are you doing...?” You say, but he didn’t answer.

-He took something sharp from that table, almost looking like a knife.  

-Chills ran down your spine as you thought of the worst situations that might happen to you at this moment.

-”My dear Y/n... You sometimes make such dumb decision’s I’m almost surprised at how stupid you actually are.” Dabi says as he makes his way closer to you.

-He then proceeds to go behind you, burying his face into the crook of your neck. “W-What are you doing?” You mutter out once again, scared out of your mind.

-He gives you a kiss on the cheek and laughs. “I’ll miss you Y/n.”

-And those were the last words you heard before getting your neck sliced into pieces.

-Blood gushed out of the place Dabi stabbed you in, making it look like a fountain of blood.

-Dabi laughed at the sight of you desperately trying to breath as blood covered your entire body.

-”I told you to pick your words carefully baby.” He whispered into your ear and left you inside of that room, still tied up.

-After the incident, with you gone, Dabi became kind of relieved.

-He was happy you weren’t there to annoy him anymore, and he was diffidently happy about you not being there to ruin all of his so called ‘fun’.

Tomura Shigaraki:

-”Shigaraki, please go and apologi-”

-”NO! Why the fuck would I do that?!” Shigaraki yell’s back at Kurogiri that was trying to convince him to apologize to you.

-”I don’t know, maybe it’s because you haven’t left your room in over two weeks now? Or maybe it’s because you’ve suffered from the day you’ve got into an argument with Y/n.” Kurogiri says with annoyance in his tone.

-Shigaraki didn’t answer for a split second before saying: “How should I apologize to them...?”  

-Kurogiri sighs in relief that Shigaraki finally gave into apologizing to you.

-”The easiest way is to go to their place and apologize there.” Kurogiri answers with a happier tone.

-”Okay, I’ll do it-” Shiggy answers and gets out of his room, running straight to the bathroom.

-”What’s his deal?” Dabi says, coming into the LOV hide out.

-”Young love...” Kurogiri simply says and leaves the room.

-Shigaraki took a shower, got his cleanest clothes on and started going to your place at midnight.  

(-Why midnight? Idk, he felt like it.)

-”C’MON, GO YOU PUSSY!” Dabi shout’s out from the bush in your backyard.

-”WAIT, I’M GETTING READY!” Shigaraki shout’s back.

-”YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS MOVING BEFORE I BURN IT OFF!” Dabi says once again.

-Shigaraki does an ‘ehem’ sound and knocks at you front door, hoping you would open it.

-To his luck, you gently push the door open, asking yourself why there was Shigaraki in front of you and Dabi sitting in a bush.

-”What do you want?” You ask Shiggy, harshly leaning you back at the door.

-”Hey Y/n. Long time no see? I uh... Um-” He stuttered, panicking about what to say.

-He might not seem gentle when you first met him, but later you realized he has a soft side, and this ladies and gentlemen, was his soft side.

-”I... I wanted to say um... I uh-”  

-”If you aren’t going to say anything, I’m closing this door and leaving you in the cold.” You cut Shiggy off, clearly mad at him for wasting your time.

-”I’m sorry Y/n, I didn’t mean to lash out on you. I know I might be aggressive with my words at times, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.” Shigaraki mutters out like a child apologizing to his parent’s.

-He then proceeds to carefully hug you, his hand’s wrapping around your shoulder’s.

-Suddenly, he feel’s himself being pushed away, and with confusion on his face, he sees hatred and disappointment in your eyes.

-”Who gave you the right to hug me out of nowhere?!” You shout at Shigaraki, making it clear you are not pleased by his actions.

-”I’m your boyfriend...?” Shiggy says, confused by why you asked that sort question.

-”Oh, right. I still didn’t break up with him-” You think to yourself.

-”Shigaraki, no, you aren’t my boyfriend. I thought I made it clear by not answering your call’s nor text’s, not talking to you and so on. Did you really think I would still want to be with you after I do all that?!” You shout out, breaking Shigaraki’s heart into a million pieces by the word’s that just came out of your mouth.

-You look him in the eyes and not saying a word before sighing and continuing your sentence.

“I’m breaking up with you.”  

-Shigaraki did nothing. He only looked at you, admiring your beautiful facial features for the last time.

-”Goodbye Y/n...” He says and runs off to the dark street, Dabi following him from behind.

-”Thank god this is finally over with...” You think to yourself as you watch Shigaraki leave.

-Back at home, Shigaraki’s situation got worse.

-He screamed, screamed a lot. At night, in the morning, in the evening, afternoon, just at the thought of you.

-His eyes became more swollen than they were ever before, making his vision blurry from all the crying.

-He also didn’t visit the LOV and everybody started to wonder what happened to him.

-Shigaraki never got out of his room, and let his anger out by breaking everything he saw in the room.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

It’s over! It’s finally over! I deeply apologize to you my dear person who requested this, and also the people who were wondering why I didn’t post for so long.

My lazy ass really said: “let’s take it slow...” So, I did.

Anyways, I hope y’all enjoyed this!

#mha #bnha #izuku midoriya x reader #deku x reader #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #shoto todoroki #todoroki x reader #tenya iida #tenya iida x reader #iida x reader #eijiro kirishima #kirishima x reader #hanta sero #sero x reader #denki kaminari #denki x reader #hitoshi shinsou #shinsou x reader #dabi x reader #mha dabi #tomura shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #mha headcanons #bnha headcanons #mha x reader #bnha x reader #x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

[kokiseiko]

Fleeting Touches and Unbreakable Bonds

Shouta Aizawa x Reader; Hizashi Yamada x Reader

Song Recommendation: All I Ask - Adele

(Y/N) – Your Name

(L/N) – Last Name

Word Count: 1.8k +

Fandom: My Hero Academia | Boku no Hero Academia

Pairing: Shouta Aizawa x Pro-Hero!Reader; Hizashi Yamada x Pro-Hero!Reader

Rating: SFW

Warnings: Angst, Bittersweet

Summary: Is it possible to love someone so much that you can’t let go even after death?

Note: This is a special request made by my lovely fellow Aizawa simp: @nire-chann​.

Thank you for beta-reading this for me Ate Selene @yourgoddessselene​ | @saudade-mayari​

The events that had happened at the start of this fic are a few months after Aizawa became a teacher at UA.

A rush of sudden adrenaline that wracks your body, heart pounding, ears ringing, your entire system shaking with emotions you can’t even pinpoint. Walking towards the white-lined road of the city, the rays of the noon sun spilling all over the bent light posts, the once smooth grey cement on the sidewalks now cracked, malfunctioning traffic lights blinking and crackling, the aftermath: debris of the earlier commotion.

It was an explosion, a burst of dust-filled smoke that pained the eyes of individuals who unfortunately had it opened, then a sickening crash of building facades, window splinters raining throughout the area, injuring civilians from which you’ve catered immediately. Quickly healing wounds and giving directions for immediate evacuation.

You were Frantic. Desperate. Searching throughout the wreckage even when your quirk wasn’t for such. Continuing to move through the rubbles of building you spot the shine of the once yellow gear now cracked, broken into three, not far from it was a mass of black, crimson spilling underneath him, a shine of a bloodied band adorning his right hand.

You knew that it was near impossible even with your quirk to stabilize him, yet you continue, hands glowing in hues of emerald as you move his blood-soaked charcoal locks.

---

He feels lighter every passing second, but your presence grounds him. There’s so much more to say, to feel, to do. He sighs internally, he looks at you with such intent, he wants to let you know, to speak to you, but how can he, when his throat feels restricted. Even lifting his hand to touch your tear-stained cheeks to help ease the furrow in your brows had him use too much energy.

There was so much more, but having to look at you with all the emotions he could muster in his two light-grey orbs are what he could only communicate with. He can’t speak anymore, but he wants to at least taste your lips one last time.

To at least feel your heat and the cool contrast of your wet cheeks.

He’s barely noticing the tingle of nerves, that strange warm sensation he used to feel whenever you used to tend to his wounds, his injuries. His eyes wrinkle slightly when he remembers your pout during a rant a few days ago, your plump lips moving and going on about him being reckless.

He’s doing it again, but it has been too long since he had let himself fall through a never-ending well of questions, of replays, flashbacks, images, doubts, concerns. This may be the last time he’ll ever let himself tumble throughout the dark abyss of just him and his thoughts.

Was he content? He doesn’t know.

He just simply wants to remember your smile, your tears. You.

You were his anchor back then. Back when he was crumbling into a mess of a wanna-be hero who had his friend die during Hero-Work Studies.

You pulled him up when he was too tired to even recognize and register the warmth feeling in his chest that was being overpowered with guilt, regret, and frustration.

He never really accommodated these positive feelings, thinking that they would just be swept away with a whoosh of wind, only to return with a hard blow of hatred, anger, and pain.

He doesn’t want to experience that again, to go through that momentary shock and be hit with the sad consciousness of reality.

His throaty whisper was heard above the ringing in your ears: “Thank you…” for loving me, he wants to add, for being with me… I’ve loved you, tears cascading his cheeks

“I’m sorry…” for not acknowledging these wonderful feelings, for taking so long to let you know that, looking to your also wet cheeks, eyes pooling with tears from frustration? Sadness? Pain? Maybe a mix of three he guessed, “… I love you.”

He feels the gradual easing of his muscles all throughout his body. The blood rushing throughout his veins were subliminally slowing. The wet pelts of your tears dropping down his features would be a mere afterthought if he wasn’t focusing so much on you, but alas, his own mind was keeping him from doing so.

Even within his last seconds, his mind kept him prisoner.

His mind where everything was being played. His head spinning with the rapid successions of memories he subconsciously held dear. The majority of the replays containing you, your comforting touch when he needed an anchor, your soft kisses during those casual dates back in his favorite café, the hitch of your breath when you momentarily stopped the cute cooing noises you made whenever you petted the cats as you trailed your eyes on his kneeling form, your whispered ‘yes’ when he finally popped the question “Marry me?”, your wobbly smile when you walked down the red-carpeted aisle, the crack of your voice as your eyes that were holding nothing but love and adoration staring right at him as you began to state your vows began to pool.

Smiling.

He never thought that in his last moments he would be smiling. You’ve made him do things he thought he’d never do in this short life of his. And for that, he’s thankful.

You are truly something else.

***

Breathing was hard. His every inhale didn’t even feel like air, it’s akin to something much more condense. Black was all that surrounds him: a pool of nothing but midnight skies. A weird sensation constantly falling down to a never-ending night is what grounds him to- what exactly.

Though his throat was constricted, a single sound not able to flutter out his lips, his thoughts seemed loud on this vast plain of nothingness.

Where was he?

How can he even breathe?

“You’re still bound.”

What?

“You need to let go.”

Looking around him to at least locate the voice’s body was futile. Was this in his head?

“No. You’re in the middle. Stuck.”

Middle?

“Your time’s done, but you’re still tied down… by your bonds. Let go.”

Realizing what this meant he answered the disembodied voice in his head, I can’t.

A chilling gust of an unknown wind made its way throughout his existence.

***

It can’t be. He knows it can’t happen. He died. How can he still be standing- oh.

He doesn’t know whatever the wind did to him, but he at least deduced that it returned him to you.

You who was now kneeling in the mix of wet gravel and grass whilst staring into the distance with streams still flowing down your puffed eyes, cheeks streaked with layers of endless tears that managed to drip down your wobbling chin, your neck covered in his scarf that had splats of dried hazel-vermillion.

How long was he falling back there?

Two new sounds of weeping.

He sees that the usual gravity-defying golden hair was now instead streaking down the shoulders of a black leather jacket-clad voice hero. Mic. A figure kneeling down beside your form, hugging your side, whose body shook with great intensity together with yours. Midnight.

He aches. Thorns felt like they were encasing him within.

For a moment he wants to hold you, to comfort you, placing his hand to your other shoulder, placing the loose strand of hair behind your ear, but you don’t seem to sense him.

***

It’s been a long month of just watching, of just seeing but not being able to do anything. He hates the unfairness of it all.

He tries. Convincing himself that his touches were felt, that his hugs were warming your numbness, that his kisses were making the sting dwindle little by little, that him laying by the other side of your bed while you sleep with a pillow covered in his old shirt lets you know that he’s still there, that he still loves you, that he still can’t won’t let go.

His touches on your shoulder, which were supposed to reassure you just in turn made you shiver and look confused, bewildered even.

He wants to be heard, to be felt, to exist, but his traces no longer lingered, only a mere susurrate, a short-lived touch in your still graying ambience.

He wants to hold you while you cry and let all of the frustrations out of that head of yours, where he knows that like him you’re stuck, in your own scribbles of granite thoughts, that you too were deprived of the other’s warmth, that you too felt like a shell stuck with all of this sand you called your chaos, your blurring mix of feelings.

And as weeks turns into fleeting months. Months of winter blooming into a spring of years, left on autumn, in auto-pilot, watching, always nearby to see you recover. Recover from the debris and aching splinters that his existence left behind, while he still remains crumbling, pieces of him falling.

“Thank you Hizashi… you grounded me when it all felt like a dream.”

He should’ve been the one doing what Hizashi is now. It should’ve been black instead of gold that you were nuzzling into. It should’ve been his deep baritone rather than the smooth and gentle voice Hizashi uses whenever he encourages, supports, and anchors you.

He should’ve been the one holding your hand whenever you sit in a creaky wooden bench in a nearby park to admire the sunset.

“I know that it’s impossible to reciprocate what I’m about to say, but I at least wanted to let you know-”

“I like you too, Zashi’.”

He should’ve been the one you’re tending, taking care of. Your tears of frustration and aura of concern that was once reserved for him was now for another blond.

“Zashi’ you should start being much more careful you know?”

“I promise I will- ow!”, your smiles at his friend’s idiotic antics just adds jealousy to his mix of resentment and longing.

He should’ve been the only one who sees your gaze of fondness swirling in your beautiful solemn orbs.

But he can’t. He can’t anymore.

And to that he goes back to that midnight swirl, that feeling of falling, to that voice inside his head that was constantly questioning him, encouraging him to release the rope that was still bruising his slowly crumbling heart that he’s put at the back of his mind, not yet wanting to face the reality of the other side, a world without your soft hands holding his cheeks, an existence without your love.

“Surrender Shouta…”

It all felt like déjà vu. Your pretty face blurred with the sheer veil. Soft smiles and salty droplets of tears. The gold-lined red carpet. The people present. It was all like back then, but instead of that classic black tuxedo and a black bow tie, it was a white suit and a navy blue tie.

You’re smiling… at him. Looking directly at him.

It was a whisper, a message just for him; words that helped him to finally let go, to accept, and to be patient.

“Shouta… I hope that you still remember that you will forever be a part of me. Until the next life Shouta Aizawa. Wait for me, we’ll start again; continue what we can’t finish.”

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I hope you all liked this piece. My requests are (finally) open.

#Shouta Aizawa #Aizawa #Shouta Aizawa Fanfic #Aizawa Fanfics #BNHA Fanfic #Shouta Aizawa x You #Shouta Aizawa x Reader #Hizashi Yamada #Yamada #Hizashi Yamada Fanfic #Yamada Fanfics #Hizashi Yamada x You #Hizashi Yamada x Reader #Eraserhead #Present Mic #Eraserhead x Reader #Present Mic x Reader

[therainroguefanfiction]

❧ Be Mine (Denki Kaminari) Chocolate

📑 Table of Contents

Genre: Valentine’s, Fluff 

Word Count: 866 

Pairing: Reader x Kaminari 

World: Anime, My Hero Academia 

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

Even before you started dating, Kaminari always wanted to be close to you. Every chance he got, he was stuck to your side like glue. At first, it had honestly annoyed you, but the blonde quickly wormed his way into your heart so you decided to give him a chance. It was easily the best decision you had ever made. He was the perfect boyfriend, going out of his way to make sure that you were happy and comfortable. He was so kind, caring, and understanding.

Having gotten used to spending so much time at his side, you noticed immediately when he wasn’t around. It was like a part of you was missing and you hated that feeling.

You slid down in your seat with a frown. Today was Valentine’s day, the day lovers are meant to spend together no matter what. So why, of all days, was Kaminari missing in action?

Izuku glanced at you with worry. Though you weren’t bubbly and loud in nature, you weren’t reserved and quiet, either. So why were you acting so reserved today? He approached you, gently tapping your shoulder.

You forced a smile when you saw him. “Hey, Izuku. What’s up?”

“You don’t have to force a smile with me. I’m your friend.” He frowned. “Wanna take a walk?” The smile slowly faded and you nodded, following the shorter boy out of the noisy classroom. “Do you want to talk about it?” He questioned softly.

You rubbed the back of your head. “I haven’t seen Kaminari at all today. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I thought that today of all days he wouldn’t want to leave my side. The day is almost over and I haven’t seen him since this morning. What could he be doing?”

“Wait, he’s at school?”

“Yeah. I saw him enter the gate this morning, but I haven’t seen him since. He won’t even respond to my messages.” You sighed, shoving your hands into your pockets. “I guess I’ve just gotten used to him constantly messaging me and following me around. It just feels weird without him.”

“That makes sense. I’m sure he has a good reason.” He smiled reassuringly. “Try not to worry too much, okay?”

Uraraka called his name from down the hall, waving with a happy smile on her face.

Izuku glanced at you. “Do you want to join us?”

“No, thank you. Go have fun.”

He hesitated but gave in when she called his name again. When they were gone, you heaved a heavy sigh, throwing your back against the wall. Today was not going the way that you had planned. Then again, when did the universe ever allow plans to go through?

“Did you see that lightning boy from 1-A?”

“Yeah, he’s been in there since this morning.”

“I don’t know if I should feel sad for him or impressed by him.”

“Right?”

“Excuse me,” You approached the two girls. “Where did you see him?”

“In the home ec room.”

“Thank you!” You took off down the hall before either of them could say anything. What in the world was Kaminari doing in home economics? He couldn’t cook to save his life.

When you reached the room, you paused to catch your breath, not sure if your heart was racing from the run or from your nerves. A crash of glass made you spring into action, nearly ripping the automatic door off its track.

Kaminari was sitting on the floor covered in cocoa powder. A porcelain bowl sat in front of him, shattered into pieces. The room was a complete wreck, dirty dishes everywhere and various powders coating every surface.

Was that strawberry jam on the ceiling? What the hell has he been up to?

“Denki?” You called, kneeling down beside him.

His golden eyes met yours, shimmering with unshed tears.

Seeing that made your heart feel like it was breaking. You pulled him into a tight hug, resting your head on top of his. He didn’t hesitate in wrapping his arms around your waist, hands clutching at your shirt. Your fingers combed through his blonde locks. No matter how many times you had done this, it still amazed you how soft his hair was, even matted with flour and eggs.

“I’m sorry,” He sniffled, voice devoid of his usual confidence.

“Sorry for what, love?” You inquired softly.

“I really wanted today to be special, but I ruined everything.”

“What were you trying to do?”

“I know how much you love chocolate so I wanted to make you some, but I kept screwing it up. Before I knew it, the whole day was over…”

“Idiot,” you pushed him back so you could rest your forehead against his. “You don’t have to try so hard to do anything special. Just spending time with you is more than enough.”

“You deserve the world.” He whispered against your lips.

“You are my world.” You whispered back before capturing his soft lips. “As long as you’re smiling, I’m happy.”

The corners of his lips twitched up. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too.” You returned his smile. “How about we make chocolate together?”

“That sounds great, thank you!”

“You’re very welcome.”

━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

If you enjoyed this fic, please consider liking and reblogging so others can enjoy it, too. Thanks!

#be mine #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #kaminari denki #anime #anime x reader

[ethernetchord]

lets talk: popular iwwv criticism

(disclaimer: i know criticism is subjective and thats why im doing this, i wanna look at some common points made against iwwv and dissect them just a little bit in the opposite direction. also none of this is directed at any individual- it’s all based on the general talking points i’ve seen surrounding the book.)

SPOILER WARNING !!

lack of exploration into james and oliver (+ gay characters feel performative)

i’ve seen loads of people say that oliver and james’ relationship felt very performative, a way of including the queer romnce which clearly is very important to the plot but not actually giving it any space in the novel, nor developing it to the same extent which meredith/oliver was.

oliver and meredith had a very strictly physical relationship and while he did love her, he wasn’t in love with her the way he was with james. the juxtaposition in the way that oliver/james is delivered and the way meredith/oliver is delivered is, i believe, far too repetitive to not be intentional. i actually realised upon re-reading how much focus there really is on meredith’s sexuality, even in subtleties in the book. meredith and oliver get more blatant sex scenes, get more physical parts because oliver was (to an extent) using his attraction to meredith to distract himself from his infatuation with james.

we also have to remember that oliver and james didn’t get their real moment of honesty about their relationship till extremely late into the book. i’d honestly see it as more ‘performative’ to then after or in the middle of kind lear throwing in some wild sex scene between the two. it wouldn't have fit.

“why didn’t james and oliver get together earlier then >:(((“ because the slow burn between them, the subtext, the subtle-ness, the yearning, they were all crucial to the decision which oliver made at the end. the fact that they burned so bright for each other but (oliver particularly) were so desperately repressed, that was what made this such a tragic romance. yes its tiring to read stories about queer people being repressed, yes its tiring to see the bury your gays trope. but like oliver says, it goes beyond gender.

if oliver’s second love interest was a girl, and treated this way, we’d be a lot more on board with these tropes- but the fact that james is a man, and this therefor becomes a queer relationship, makes it feel performative. i can’t convince you of anything- but i like to believe that their relationship being treated like this not only makes it so much more “heart wrenching because why! why couldn’t it work out, why couldn’t it be better!” - not because its a queer relationship but because they were soulmates.

alexander wasn’t performative. not in the slightest, rio just didn’t make being gay his entire identity. same goes for colin. just because they’re queer doesn’t mean it needs to be the only thing about them. this isn’t a lgbt novel- characters dont have to be gay just for plot. they can just be gay.

i’ve also seen people complain about not just making oliver bisexual. guys. did you read the book? he was bisexual. he was emotionally and physically attracted to both meredith and james. guys that’s literally what bisexual means.

i'm totally on board with the coming out scenes! and realisation of feelings and all that stuff- but again, not an lgbt centric novel and also- these were things oliver probably did and realised far before this book. remember that its set in 4th year, at an art school. he knew he was fruity ok. not every queer character in every queer book have to have these grandious coming out scenes or realisations. the lack there of doesn’t equal performance.

the ending was rushed and bad

believe what you will, but i don’t think james is dead. there’s a little too much ambiguity in that ending, in the extract he leaves oliver, in the “his body was never found.” so if your main quarrel with the ending is that “bury your gays” situation- please know there’s a chance- and that giving it that chance opens up so much more discussion and reader response.

yes, the ending is sad. but it’s not rushed. “but that is how a tragedy like ours or king lears breaks your heart- by making you believe the ending might still be happy until the very last second.” doing king lear, doing macbeth, doing romeo and juliet, the plays are chosen not only for reader convenience (they’re plays readers will most likely be familiar with) but also because they all, so very deeply, foreshadow a “bad” ending. killing james, makes sense. as much as people don’t want to hear it, from an authorial perspective- from the reader’s perspective and as a human being it makes sense. why do keep arguing that he “should’ve stayed alive for oliver” or that “if he really loved oliver he wouldn’t have done it” - why are we limiting a character’s entire existence down to their love interest. yes, they were best friends, yes they were set up as lovers but that doesn’t mean that that would be enough to keep james around. james was a fragile character- he was always checking with oliver if he had upset him, he was always worried, overthinking, james wasn’t strong minded- and he was suffering. the only person he had left to depend on was in prison, he was plagued with the guilt of causing the death of a classmate and letting oliver take the blame, if he did kill himself, it sure as hell doesn’t have any reason to sound forced.

“its not nearly as good as the secret history!!!!”

to be honest here buds, why the fuck do we keep comparing them so insistently. they are not the same book. iwwv wasn’t trying to be tsh 2.0, yes there are similarities because hey! guess what! books in similar genres tend to do that! always comparing it tsh when they have different motives, different plots and vastly different execution makes no sense. the only reason that they are compared is because tumblrtm dark academics like to group the two together. and yea- makes sense, but stop trying to belittle iwwv because it isn't as grandiose as tsh, because it’s a little more literal, because it’s not as intertextual as tsh. half the people saying iwwv isn’t as good as tsh are practically just subtly going “shakespeare isn’t as complicated as ancient greek huehue” stop forcing the two together and let them be separately appreciated.

the characters were flat/archetypes/etc

sigh. okay.

these characters are actors. this book shows us their transition from themselves entirely into a conjunction of the roles they’ve played and the stereotypes they’ve portrayed.

“we were so easily manipulated - confusion made a masterpiece of us.”

“for us, everything was a performance”

“imagine having all your own thoughts and feelings tangled up with all the thoughts and feelings of a whole other person. it can be hard, sometimes, to sort out which is which.”

“far too many times i had asked myself whether art was imitating life or if it was the other way around”

“it’s easier now to be romeo, or macbeth, or brutus, or edmund. someone else.”

are you seeing it now? this focus on their archetypes, this focus on the character they are; the way they see themselves not merely as human but as a walking concoction of every character they have turned into and out of. they depend on their archetypes to give them meaning. rio uses these archetypes to remind us of the submersion of her characters. they weren’t flat, their intentional lack of dimension due to their pasts is what makes them so intricate. furthermore, there's an evident subversion- the tyrant becomes a victim, the hero becomes a villain (they all become villains really), the ingenue becomes corrupted. like mentioned before, i think we forget ourselves easily reading this book but there is a great deal of emphasis on this being their last year- which is so important. the damage has been done and a lot of the issues people have with the content (or lack thereof) in this book has to do with the fact that it’s all things that would have occurred in books focusing on previous years at delletcher.

“it didn't live up to expectation” (also leading on from read tsh to this and being ‘disappointed’)

i cant argue this because its entirely subjective. whatever expectation was created for you, i cannot know that and appropriately respond however- if you liked the secret history and understood the secret history then there's a good chance you also liked and understood this book- even if not to the same extent but you must be able to recognize the authorial approach and its significance. i think a lot of ppl read iwwv (and a lot of “dark academia” texts and films) and hope to be able to romanticize the aesthetic or the concepts and then are disappointed when they are presented with mildly unlikeable and overwhelmingly human characters who aren’t easy to romanticize.

a great majority of these books are criticisms of the very culture you’re trying to romanticize, and the only time you’re willing to admit that is when boasting about the ‘self-awareness’ of the people indulging in them, and then a moment later complain about those same qualities because they don’t serve this idealized expectation.

bad rep for arts/liberal arts/ humanities students as being pretentious/cultish

as a humanities student with a great love for eng lit- all of these things are indeed pretentious and cultish. not all the time and not always and not every person- but it is a common theme. academia is overwhelmingly obsessive and extremely white-washed. people become so fast to believe that they are indulging in finer arts and are therefore a higher standard of person. academia is problematic. and the recent influx of people interested in it is good, very good because hopefully, we’ll be more diverse, more open-minded, more accepting. that's what i hope at least. if you know, as an individual, that you’re not a pretentious academic who places themselves above non-academics then that's wonderful- but there are dangers and negative sides to academia that need to be understood so that we can see to not perpetuating them.

i cant refute all points, mostly because there's a lot of good and well-explained criticism because no book is perfect. and my intentions are not to belittle anyone's opinion. these are merely opposing arguments, food for thought and to be fair- a critical look into why not everything is always going to be what we expect of it and why every ‘problem’ can be assessed.

#iwwv #if we were villains #iwwv critism #book review #tsh #dark academia #fanart

[dabisburntsack]

Pay attention to me

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing(s): Shigarki Tomura x GN!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Synopsis: Restless from your lack of attention to him in quarantine, Shigaraki takes matters into his own hands.

Wordcount: 2162

This is apart of a quarantine fluff collab done with the crackhead sanctuary discord server! Can’t wait to see how everyone’s fics turned out! This was fun to do I hope you all enjoy ٩( ᐛ )و

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Shigaraki was secretly enthusiastic after a mass pandemic had broken out in Japan, usually the two of you would not be able to see much of each other due to the danger of being caught with your profession as a pro hero and his as an extremely wanted villain. Now you had no choice other than to be wrapped in each other's embrace as chaos roamed outside the solid walls of your modern apartment. No one was there to judge you guys being together and the usual paparazzi outside of your residence had been resolved as people were not stepping foot outside.

However, what he didn’t expect was for the hero commision to still call you forward as an essential worker. Villains it seemed were still up to no good, even though Shigaraki had told the rest of the league to stay put and inside; lesser known villains had decided to make their own names known in the country's vulnerable state. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the times you were home you had steadily grown yourself attached to the retro nintendo switch gaming console. What the fuck was so good about animal crossing anyway? Did you enjoy spending time with that rat Tom Nook instead of him?!

Shigaraki was used to him being the gamer between the two of you, he enjoyed it as you pleaded for him to get off whatever device he was on at the time by smothering him with kisses till he gave into you. Sometimes he would even do so on purpose to get affection from you. Being on the other end of it though, was something he quickly learned he did not enjoy. Not being one to initiate intimate gestures in the relationship, he just watched you hoping you would notice him sulking and give in to him.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Sunday morning. No hero duties, just you and him, sleeping in till noon; but as his hand caught the coldness coming from your side of the bed, Shigaraki buried his head into his pillow and groaned. He could hear your padded footsteps going downstairs. Rolling over he yawned into his hand before checking the time, 8:45am. Why were you awake at 8:45am. Why was he awake at 8:45am on a Sunday morning.

Throwing off the sheets he winced as his feet hit the cold wooden floor of your shared bedroom, he was going to have to drag you back to your cocoon pile himself. Muttering, he walked his way downstairs before peaking into the living room to see you huddled on the

couch, switch in hand. Of course you were up so early just to go on that damn game.  

“Player two, what the fuck are you doing awake right now”

Your head snapped up like a deer caught in headlights as you saw your boyfriend's tired face leaning beside the door frame. Sheepishly rubbing at your neck you pouted up at him, “But Daisy Mae is selling turnips”

“Daisy who is doing what???”

“Daisy mae” You repeated bringing your switch up so he could look at what you were referring to “look at her she's so adorable, I have to buy from her I can’t make her sad by not buying”

Shigaraki looked down to your screen and blanked. There on screen was an orange little pig with a hat full of turnips, and standing by its side smiling brightly was your avatar. You got out of bed for a pig??? A pig selling turnips from its head...and was that a snot drop hanging from its snout?!!

He looked back up at you and if emojis existed in real life, he swore you would be the pleading eyes one with the face you were pulling at him. Ok, but who gave you the right to be so fucking adorable, he was meant to be mad at you for having woken him up so early!! Over a PIG!!!

“And why do you have to ‘buy turnips from daisy mae’ so early in the morning, you can do it later on”

“You can only buy before noon” You pleaded at him “Come on who could resist look how cute she is”

“I can be cute” Shigaraki huffed under his breath “Come back to bed, I’m tired and cold”

“Ok ok after this I will, you go warm it back up for me” You had already started slotting your switch in the port that hooked it up to the TV.

Shigaraki puffed out a breath but obliged and made his way back upstairs, waiting upon your arrival. Sliding back between the covers he peered at the doorway to your bedroom patiently to see when you would come back, however something about the warmth of the sheets and the way the mattress moulded perfectly into his back pulled him back into slumber in an instant however much he tried to fight it.

When he awoke again it was 11:15 and he was content to see you rolled up on his chest. He breathed out slowly, tucking a hair strand behind your ear, before kissing the top of your head.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Waking and sleeping at ridiculous times had seemed to turn into the norm for you after that however, as he once again caught you out of bed at 3am this time, when he awoke from feeling the coldness of your body not pressed up against his. He blearily rubbed his eyes with his forefinger and thumb before seeing a brief light flickering from downstairs through the cracks of your bedroom door. He threw his head back and protested, muttering under his breath on how much of a hassle you were, before pulling off the covers and making his way downstairs. Blinking at going into the light he found you once again curled up on the sofa, controller in hand and staring avidly at the TV screen.

“Y/N.”

“Yes?” You replied not taking your eyes off the screen.

“What are you doing awake?”

Well at least you had the dignity of alighting a blush that made its way up your neck and across your cheeks. You meekly turned your gaze to him ready to spring up your puppy eyes but he looked back at you with a deadpan expression. Still, you tried your luck by pouting at him and blinking your eyes in mock innocence.

“But shiggy there’s a meteor shower today and I had to watch it”

“It's a game, can't you do it in the morning?” Shigaraki sighed, being once more brought to weakness by your gaze. He couldn’t resist you, not when you were looking at him like that paired in an oversized t-shirt with a blanket draped over your head. HIS oversized t-shirt might he add.

“I have to do it nowww, the stars only come between 7pm and 4am”

Honestly he didn’t know how to respond, you really stayed up to watch a pixelated star fall from the sky. Is this how bad he was? He shook his head but couldn’t help at the slight smile that tugged at his lips. Making his way over to you he took off your blanket before wrapping it round the both of you.

“Lets see this damn star that has you awake all night then”

You beamed at him. He melted.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

With the days going by of you ignoring him for your switch, Shigaraki thought doing the same to you would be a good idea. But as it went on he couldn’t bring himself to carry on, he wanted your attention, and he had just thought of a way to achieve his goals.

Basing his plan on the night a few weeks ago when you had stayed up for that meteor shower, he dragged out an assortment of blankets to the old trampoline you had in your garden. Since that night he had decided if you so badly wanted to stay up for a stupid capatilist racoon, you could do so with him too and experience the real thing. He had gone ahead and checked the weather for when clear skies would take place for you guys to stargaze in your back garden, along with a nice dinner beforehand. He had already started cooking back when quarantine had begun trying to ease the load off you as you worked on your hero duties, and although not the best, his food was the least bit savagable now. (Although this did include multiple temper tantrums on his behalf and having to call Kurogiri to calm himself down.)

Coming back inside he checked on the curry he had left to simmer only to find it was burning. FUCK. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, ten minutes away he looked up in exasperation at the mess in front of him, this wasn’t going well. The curry was burnt, the salad was old and the flowers he got you had disintegrated when he tried to move them into a vase as he wasn’t wearing his gloves earlier on. Maybe it wasn’t too late for Kurogiri to teleport some decent food his way…

As the door chimed from your arrival he hurriedly put down the plates and scratched at his neck, he didn’t usually do huge gestures in the relationship between you guys, that was more your thing. He showed his love in small ways, he liked touching you, having at least one body part pressed against you eased his nerves. Whether it be your thighs brushing against each other as you sat next to each other or feeling the warmth of your hand against his leathered one it never failed to put his mind at ease. This was long overdue, he wanted to show you how much he cared, if things would just go his fucking way the once.

“I’m home!” You called out, he knew your routine by now, you would go hop in the shower as to decontaminate yourself from any germs and then come eat with him before going off to spend hours on your switch. Well not tonight, you were his for tonight.

“Welcome home, brat”

His attention turned back to the utter chaos in front of him and he brought his forefinger and thumb up to massage the bridge of his nose. Picking up his phone with all fingers but his pinky he dialled Kurogiri’s number but stopped in his tracks as he heard a gasp in the room.

“Shiggy?”

His ears felt hot as he turned to face you, you were looking at the small dining table set up in the kitchen and looked up at him with tears in your eyes.

Shit.

His cooking really was so bad he had made you cry fuck this wasn-

“Shiggy you did this for me?”

...

“Well who else would I do it for”

The air was knocked out of his lungs as you flung yourself into his arms, he was still fearful whenever you made sudden movements on him as of his quirk but he relaxed as he noticed the leather adoring his hands was there.

“I had a bad day at work today, I missed you so much all day”

Shigarakis arms wrapped back around you as he buried his face into your hair. “I missed my player two aswell”

Staying in each other's embrace, Shigaraki hummed in content. “I burnt the curry by the way”

“It's the thought that counts, I’m sure it isn’t so bad”

It was bad. Shigaraki seemed to have missed out a lot of steps and he ended up calling Kurogiri after all, after eating and showering together (you had jumped straight into Shigarakis arms and needed to be clean from your day of work) Shigaraki grabbed your hand and tugged you outside.

“I thought we could stargaze together…” Shigaraki muttered out his ears turning red yet again. “Like you do with bob rook”

…

“Tom nook?” You laughed

“Yes the dumb racoon boy”

“Are you jealous of said dumb racoon boy?” You asked, amused.

“No” He replied too quickly, and was silent for a while before speaking up “You’ve been playing on that game a lot recently though”

“Finally got a taste of your own Medicine, have you?”

“I’m not as bad as you”

“I beg to differ”

He flicked the top of your forehead as you giggled and laid back in the nest he had built on your trampoline, before staring up at the sky. It really was a beautiful night to stargaze, the weather was pleasant too, with the warm summer air and no breeze. Shigaraki laid down next to you, laced his fingers with yours and brought them up to his lips, placing a chaste kiss on your knuckles.

“I love you”

“More than Tom Nook?”

Pretending to think about it you hummed. “Mmmm yes I think so”

“You think so?”

“Of course I love you more than Tom Nook dummy”

Shigaraki was quiet for a while before softly muttering out “I love you too”

#sanaa writes #bnha #bnha x reader #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki x reader #boku no hero academia #bnha fluff #league of villains #league of villians x reader #lov #mha #mha x reader #bnha imagines #mha imagines #shigaraki x y/n #my hero academia shigaraki #tomura shiragaki #tomura x reader #bnha x gn!reader #server collab #quarantine #quarantine fic

[eaucian]

I just found your account and I really like it. I was wondering if write headcanons for any characters in mha (My Hero Academia). Cause if you do, I was wondering if you can do a headcanon on where Tamaki or Mirio finds out his in love with the reader (x male reader). if you don’t want to, I will completely understand if you ignore this request I have. I just wanted to let you know I really like your content so far I can’t wait to see what you’ll write next 🥺👉👈

★ mirio and tamaki when they find out they're in love with you

impt. tamaki x m!reader — mirio x m!reader

w. none, at least i don't think there are any!

n. ahh hello anon! i’m so glad you like what i’m writing and i hope you continue to like it!! i may have gotten carried away and completed both, so you get tamaki AND mirio :)) p.s. yes! i do write for mha, i should probably make a list about what fandoms i write for-

★ mirio

◉ he’s surprisingly chill about it, like really

◉ literally doesn’t even matter you’re a guy, completely accepts the fact he loves you in the first second of knowing it. it barely phases him and he thinks “i like him, wait no. i love him, oooh time to tell~”

◉ then he proceeds to come up with some extravagant plan to tell you, which isn’t really necessary but-

◉ it happens like this:

◉ it’s a sunny day and you and the big three are having some late lunch after school at his favorite ramen place, because mirio won some bet against nejire to choose where you’d all be eating that day

◉ he was sitting across from you and he’d noticed every little movement you made the whole day. the best way you could ever describe it was like a mother hen, but a subtle mother hen right?

◉ ex. you’d tripped over something, almost falling down a few days before, and mirio?

◉ he was there in two seconds flat, faster than he thought he would find himself moving over someone tripping. so why was he so worried about you recently?

◉ well well, let me tell you!

◉ you had been sparring with him, a practice match to work with your quirks and he had accidentally hurt you. hurt you like, you had to go to recovery girl because of him

◉ soo, that in turn made him feel horrible

◉ actually more like terrible

◉ now he makes puppy eyes every time he looks at you. he just looks so sad because he hurt someone he-

◉ and that was how he found out. he, had hurt. someone. he. loved. then he knows that’s part of the reason why he feels like crap. it was his fault you were a little wobbly (it wasn’t, you were just clumsy that day)

◉ but the truth was, there he was. sat in a ramen place, you across from him, and a revelation of the ages happening in his brain. so what does he do, you ask?

◉ he stares at you all lovey-dovey and sighs dreamily when the sun catches your face just right

◉ because god now you look even more perfect than he thought. and oh no, he’s in trouble cause he’s already fallen in love with you

◉ and he missed it!

◉ he missed his own falling in love! but anyways, he sticks with looking at you lovingly for a while. until one day he gets tired of it, the plan goes to crap, and he just kisses you smack on the lips

◉ that’ll be a good day ♥  

★ tamaki

◉ baby boy!

◉ he’s a mess with it a first

◉ it’s not even the fact your the same gender, he literally just doesn’t know how to deal with the fact he loves you

◉ he finds out when it’s just the two of you studying and you’re laying on your stomach on his bed, and he just wants to get up from his spot and cuddle you

◉ he didn’t exactly study much that night, but! other than the fact he really has no clue where to place his love he just kinda pushes it into a room inside his head and locks the door for a little bit

◉ a little bit meaning every time he sees you he gets flustered, and starts blushing like a cherry. but you know, its cute on him 

◉ he just has trouble telling you how he feels, but he does take the chance to be around you whenever he can. meaning there will be awkward sleepovers and study ‘dates’ that aren’t really dates in his eyes, but close enough eh?

◉ and the thing is, you noticed. it may have taken a little while but eventually, you caught on with a little help from the others (mirio and nejire)

◉ sooo, you started being the little damn tease you are

◉ touching increased tenfold. there was a ton of hugging every time you met up adding some small kisses to the cheek or holding hands when it wasn’t exactly necessary

◉ the boy was a mess

◉ how he broke it to you, because no, you weren’t going to tell him you knew as that would ruin the fun ;)

◉ he told you by giving a letter. a long ass letter that mostly consisted of rambling and a lot of crossed out words that you could still read

◉ most of them were: i love you. but you went to meet him, and he was a mess even before you started talking. you just hugged him, whispering into his neck “love you too”

#mirio x male reader #tamaki x male reader #mirio togata x male reader #tamaki amajiki x male reader #x mirio #x tamaki #x male reader #xm!reader

[alolowrites]

Missed You

Summary: Bakugou realizes how much he still misses you after seeing you at the Hero Gala.  

Song Inspiration: “Missed You” by The Weeknd

Tropes: Song fics

Author’s Note: Hey everyone!! So this fic is for @byougen​ for the Attack on Academia Secret Santa event! It took me a while to figure out what I wanted to write and went through so many drafts/ideas until I landed with this one. I’m a huge fan of The Weeknd and I’ve been listening to his recent album After Hours nonstop that an AI bot roasted me so hard for it (lmao). 

I hope you like, it’s been quite some time that I wrote an angst fic too (but there’s a happy-ish ending?? idk, but it’s not sad at the end hahaha). Enjoy!

Word Count: 1K+

“This is so fucking stupid.”

Bakugou yanked the damn black tie that suffocated his neck, not caring if the fabric ripped in two. The pro hero needed fresh air; the disgusting stench of luxurious fragrances irritated him so much, he thought he might actually explode. At least, that was what Bakugou wanted to believe. Deep down, it was seeing you tonight at the Hero Gala.  

Through the thick crowds, Bakugou froze after spotting you across the grand ballroom, looking radiant as the sun. Your smile was warm and inviting, the same one that blessed his eyes when he first met you almost a year ago. The smile faltered when you locked eyes with him, and Bakugou couldn’t look away.

However, that was the last thing he wanted to do. After three months of darkness, Bakugou was staring into the light that was your mesmerizing eyes. But the moment was brief, and you eventually blinked away, composing yourself before greeting a random guest with a polite shake. Bakugou clenched his fist to control the sharp pain shooting through his heart.

He stormed out of the ballroom, hunching over the balcony with ragged breaths. The joyous celebration faded in and out until it disappeared. His simmering red eyes glared at the stony surface that nearly turned into dust. He gritted out, “I’m so fucking stupid. So damn stupid—”

“Katsuki?”

His heart skipped a beat. That voice—the one that sounded like the sweetest song which haunted his mind every night—made his ears twitched. Bakugou stood like a statue yet was internally shaking as he heard your footsteps get closer. You were beside him, just not as close as Bakugou had hoped for.

Staring forward, he grunted, “What do you want?”

“I, um, needed some fresh air,” you cleared your throat, feeling the heat radiating off Bakugou’s body. “It was getting crowded inside.”

“Tch, the place is always so damn crowded.”  

“Mind if I stay out here for a bit?”

“Whatever.”

Bakugou shoved one hand into his pocket, inhaling silently to calm down his racing heart that threatened to burst through his rib cage. Your voice hasn’t changed one bit, and it drove him insane. He tried to remain strong, but curiosity got the best of him, and he secretly peeked your way; yup, it was you, alright. Bakugou’s eyes closed as he cursed at the damn universe for making tonight so fucking difficult.

Even with eyes closed, he could read you loud and clear. “You got something to say, so spill.”

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You sure?” Bakugou turned to look at you, swallowing a thick gulp and possibly burning the pants’ pocket. Damn your warm, concerned eyes that easily lowered all of his defensive walls; they were staring at him, a vulnerable side that only a few people had seen. Bakugou felt his stoic mask crumble as you slowly slid closer toward him. “You know you can always talk to me.”

Bakugou stayed quiet, his whole body shaking as your fingers brushed below his chin. A jolt ran down his spine, your touches igniting a flame that was on its last dying breath. His crimson eyes watched as you fixed his unkempt black tie like always. Whether he had those business meetings or needed to attend the dreaded hero functions, such as the Hero Gala, you always fixed his tie. It was never too loose or too tight around his neck.

He could never get it right after letting you go. It was the biggest mistake Bakugou made in his life. He fucking missed you so much, but the damage was already done. And his heart was like a lone wolf howling at the moon, mourning the loss of something special.

“There,” you tugged the tie into place, a small smile gracing your lips. “All fixed now.”

“…thank you.”

You nodded, straightening the dress shirt’s wrinkles along his collarbone. Old habits apparently die hard; you then stopped and stared at his tie. Eventually, your eyes wandered up to gaze directly into his own, drowning in the sorrowing red sea. The waves were crashing upon you as Bakugou leaned dangerously close to your face, yet you didn’t move an inch.

A part of you didn’t want to. Like Bakugou, you missed him as well. As much as you tried moving on, tried to heal your broken heart, you kept aching for him. The man was your first love, and he will forever stay with you no matter where you go. But you couldn’t go back with him. At least not right now.

With a sigh, you reached for his calloused hands and held them close to yours. Bakugou flickered between them and your woeful eyes, though a trembling smile fought so hard to stay on your face.

“Even though we’re not together anymore,” your lips parted, whispering so softly that Bakugou clenched his jaw to stay strong, “just know that I will always care for you, Katsuki.”

Bakugou lowered his head, letting your words burn into his memory. He squeezed your hands before loosening his grip on them. You thought that was the end of it and took a step back, but Bakugou stopped you. Your chest tightened when he rasped out your name.

“I’m sorry if I let you down,” he murmured, exhaling through his nose as you gazed at him. The pro hero slowly raised his head, and your breath hitched. Everything around you vanished except for Bakugou and the unwavering determination swirling inside his warrior eyes. The burning desire grew as he held you for dear life. “But that won’t happen again. I’ll fight for you with everything I got.”

Bakugou flashed you a fervid grin that you’ve seen many times before. It meant one thing—he was prepared to win.

“I don’t give up that easily, princess. Remember that.”

Your heart officially stopped. Bakugou was always a man of his word. The pro hero gave you a final squeeze before letting you go, no longer afraid that you would disappear from his life again. You nodded, not trusting your words at the moment. The music roared from behind, breaking the deafening silence that circled around you both.

Bakugou leaned against the balcony, watching as you numbly drifted away until you slipped through those doors. His gaze never wavered; it was the last thing he wanted to do. Bakugou missed you dearly. And after three months of darkness, he was ready to have you—his light—back into his life.

Thanks for reading!!

#bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x reader #bnha x reader #bnha imagines #bakugou angst #bakugou katsuki #secret santa fic

[pandajaye]

Todoroki Family Ties (Part 9)

Characters: Enji Todoroki, Stepmom!OC!Ivy (Ivy is black btw), Child!Shoto Todoroki, Teen!Touya Todoroki, Preteen!Fuyumi, Child!Natsuo

Fandom: My Hero Academia/Boku No Hero Academia

Warnings: pregnancy, hospital, hysteria, child abuse, Aquaphobia, upset child, abusive family, neglect

“Enji, it’s okay. Please try to calm down. Everything is going to be fine.” Ivy comforted her husband, putting a hand on his leg in an attempt to keep it from bouncing so much. “I know, I know. Just a little nervous, that’s all.” He sighed, looking down at his hands while he rubbed his palms. They were the only ones in the room right now. It was cold and white everywhere apart from the delightful little flower clusters. The atmosphere was mostly quiet except for the tapping of keyboards and damp sounds of phones ringing in some of the offices.

“I mean…. what if it’s true? How could I be so careless? I should’ve been thinking clearly. I should’ve thought more about you. Things were just finally going so right and I was so distracted by excitement. So many good things were falling in to place. It’s…. It’s all my fault that we’re here today.” He brought her hand up from his thigh and kissed her knuckles. “Please, forgive me.” All she could do was smile at how nervous he was. “Forgive you for what, baby? Nothing bad has happened. Being here is a big part of the journey. It’s where our path is decided for us. I’m excited. You should be, too.”

Enji wrapped his arms around her with a tight squeeze. “You’re right. You’re absolutely right.” She always did know how to make the best of a situation that seemed frightening. Maybe it was the way of words. Maybe it was the sweet and calm voice that did it for him. Whatever it was, he was happy to be able to access it. Having her next to him was going to make this move a lot smoother, and he couldn’t ask for anything better right now.

Their moment of peace was interrupted by a nurse dressed in lovely pink scrubs. “Todoroki?” Her voice was gentle and nice as well as her smile while she patiently waited for the two to stand and follow her. On the way to their room, Ivy glanced into the rooms they passed. In one, a couple was finding out some good news. They looked excited. In another, a woman seemed to be having a good check up. And the last one was different than the other two. A woman leaned against her sad husband as she cried. The doctor also had a sad and sympathetic look on her face. Those sure were some interesting situations to witness. Which one would represent her and Enji’s?

“This room right here. Doctor Akari will be right with you.” The two parties bowed to each other before she left and they entered the room. Enji looked around the room and sighed. It was so weird to be here again. The rooms had changed a bit since the last time he was on this same floor seven years ago. ‘Wow. Seven. I’m getting old.’ He was quickly brought back to reality by Ivy. “I’m really glad we’re here today. This is good.” Her smile brought so much ease to him. How lucky is he to have someone like her.

A quiet knock on the door gathered their attention. In walked an older woman. Her hair was still a dark brown so she couldn’t have been that much older but you could see some of the age in her kind face. There was a bit of height difference between them, her being taller than Ivy, shorter than Enji of course. She carefully closed the door behind her before setting her chart on the table and introducing herself. “I’m Dr. Akari, nice to meet you today, Mr. and Mrs. Todoroki.” She shook their hands and continued. “Amazing, I never thought I’d be meeting, let alone working for the number two hero. I guess dreams do come true.” Enji blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Heh. Always nice to meet a fan.”

“So. We’re here for a verification today, correct? How are you feeling? Mrs. Todoroki, is this your first?” Ivy nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I-I’ve really never been in any type of situation like this before. I’m excited and kinda nervous. Sorry.” Dr. Akari held Ivy’s hands in her own. “Sweetheart. You don’t need to apologize. Being nervous is apart of this. A big part. That’s not to say that it’ll be a bad experience. It is what you make it. And I have so much faith that this is going to be an amazing and beautiful new part of your life. You’re going to be great at this.” Her smile was warm and reassuring. Maybe everything really will be okay. “Should we get this thing started?” Ivy looked at Enji and back at Dr. Akari with a grin. “Let’s do it.”

The test and results took no time at all to come back to them. “Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Todoroki. You’re having a baby.” Excitement quickly grew on Ivy’s face, brown eyes big and full of tears when she looked at Enji who hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head. “Wonderful news! Wonderful! Wonderful!” He was so energetic and happy like a child himself. The fifth child and he’s still taken aback as if it’s his first. Ivy stayed a little calmer herself. “I’m so happy. This is everything I’ve ever wanted…. A dream come true.” The doctor hugged Ivy when Enji finally pulled away. “I’m so happy for you two. You have my full adoration. I know you’re going to be an amazing mother. Before you know it, you’ll have a quirky and spontaneous bundle of joy in your arms.” Ivy froze.

‘….Quirky?’

Enji thanked the doctor a few more times before leaving and while they walked to the car, he noticed something was off about Ivy. She kept her gaze towards the ground and hadn’t said a word since leaving the doctor’s office. After a short walk they arrived at the car, Ivy got in the passenger seat and patiently waited for Enji to get in and close his door. As soon as the car door shut, Ivy broke down hysterically… “FUCK! FUCK! FUCKING! FUCK!” Honestly, it scared him a bit. She was fine a few minutes ago and now she’s upset? “IVY? WHAT’S WRONG?” She started hyperventilating, forcing him to pull Ivy into his lap and hold her. “Breathe! Breathe. Slow down. In….. Out….” It took a minute before she could match his breathing. Eventually, they were in sync and she began to calm down and got back into the passenger seat.

“Alright. What in the hell was that?” He didn’t mean to sound irritated, he was just genuinely confused about what just manifested. “I-I’m sorry but…. I-I can’t do this. I-I-I can’t be a mom.” Tears were still falling but she tried to wipe them away as fast as they came. “Wha…. What do you mean?” His brows were furrowed and his face contorted. “Enji…. I-I was so excited at first. And, I still am in some ways…. But…. what happens when…. w-when we have this child…. and they don’t have a quirk because of me? I wasn’t even thinking about it until Dr. Akari said the word quirky and all of a sudden it hit me. My child is going to be weak because of me…. They’re going to hate me. I know you want a strong child with a strong quirk but I-…. I-I can’t give you that.”

To be honest, he hadn’t thought of it either. But that was the old him anyways. He’s grown since then. Quirks aren’t everything to him anymore. Just her. Just his family. No matter what skills they had or didn’t have. He loves them in every aspect. “Ivy…. I don’t need you to give me that. I want you to be happy and healthy. I want to have this child with you no matter what happens. As long as you’re both okay, that’s what’s important. I know how I used to be. And I’m still sorry and trying to atone for it. I’m learning and growing every day because of you. I appreciate and love you so much.” His large hand held her cheek as he searched her eyes for a sign that she understood him.

A wave of safety washed over her as she leaned into his hand. So much calm after one random storm. “You’re right. You are learning. You have grown. And I am beyond proud of you. I’m sorry for my outburst. It wasn’t all about you. Being quirkless has always been a problem for me. Way before me and you. You’ve improved in ways that…. he never did.” Her gaze shifted to her feet when thoughts and feelings she had long ago returned. “Who?” When her gaze came back her eyes were brimming with tears of numb pain.“My dad….”

From a very young age, Ivy was victim to some of the most impactful abuse that young girls have suffered for centuries. Familial. Being the outcast, the one child that didn’t make the cut. Worked hard and reprimanded for occurrences out of her power. Her power. The center of everything and the reason for her suffering. More commonly known as a quirk, her ability should have been water manipulation. It ran in her family. They’ve always been connected to it all. Oceans, lakes, rain, dew, snow. A gene for telekinesis brought in from one of her great great grandparents but no one remembers which one.

“LET’S GO, LET’S GO, LET’S GO!” Nami James Emaraki, Ivy’s father, blew hard into his whistle. It’s not that common for a ten-year old to have to do burpees and laps on a Saturday morning. Especially since she’s not training for anything. “YOU SLACK AND I SWEAR ITS ANOTHER TEN LAPS!! YOU ALREADY MISSED BREAKFAST SINCE YOU WANNA SLEEP IN, I’M PERFECTLY FINE WITH YOU MISSING LUNCH CAUSE I’LL STILL EAT BUT YOU WON’T!!!!” He wasn’t kidding either. That threat wasn’t the least bit empty.

“I-” Her foot slipped and caused her to face plant. She lifted her head and a stream of blood ran from her nose. “OW! UGH! H-Help, please!” Rolling his eyes, he stomped over to her, grabbing a fist full of her hair. “Sure, I’ll help you. Usually salt water helps with things like that. Let’s get you a lot of salt water.” He looked at the pool and smiled. “How about 10 ft?” Panic flooded her entire body so quickly it almost made her dizzy. Or maybe that was from the quick face plant and loss of blood.

“N-No! Please!” Ignoring her, he began dragging her to the deep end of their pool. “I’m so sorry, I can keep going! I can keep going! Daddy I can keep going!” She couldn’t help but cry and scream for forgiveness because he always had such a terrible punishment for her. The closer they got the more she struggled. “DADDY PLEASE! PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE NO! NO-” He tossed her in with a grunt and picked up his stopwatch. “Hurry up. You don’t wanna drown, use your quirk to get out!”

But that was the issue. Ivy was quirkless. It never showed up when it was supposed to. They hoped she was a late bloomer but it wasn’t looking very hopeful. Her father and uncle did everything they can to bring it out of her. They were so close they moved into two joint houses for each of their families, between the two homes, a facility with a large indoor pool that they used to coach swimming and have opened for water sports and activities. Every child in their family has used this pool to get better at their quirks. But Ivy was the only one forced into fearing it, unlike her siblings and cousins.

The eldest children were Ivy’s older twin brother and sister who were six years older than her, as well as a male cousin four years older than her. They were taught everything with care and detail. How to swim, how to make waves, etc. Next, her cousin that was but a few months older than her. He also experienced the life of being the middle child like her. Ivy was born next. Treated like all the other kids until she reached the age where quirks usually had already appeared in their family.

Four. When the family pediatrician attempted to explain that her quirk would never come in due to an extra joint in her foot, that of which the absence of would determine if the power would ever come in. Her father was so upset when they got home, he grabbed her by the ankles and dunked her in the water a few times before dropping her in the 5 feet. Her mother stood and watched as paramedics revived Ivy, pretending very well to be concerned.

Yet, here he is now. Watching her sink as she loses oxygen. Destined to be a corpse at the bottom of the pool. But just before tragedy could wrap her up in its claws, her father washed her back onto the side of the pool with a wave. There she laid in a puddle, lungs full of water. “So damn dramatic.” Unrightfully annoyed, he preformed mouth to mouth and saved her, smacking her when she accidentally spit up water in his face. “You’re a disgusting excuse for a daughter. But just you wait, you’ll be a hero soon enough. And you’re gonna be supporting your family after we’ve been so supportive of you. Get your ass up and come inside when you’re through acting like something wrong with you.”

Nami didn’t even look back after he started walking way. He didn’t care if she ever got up. To him, she has two options in life. Become a top pro-hero. Or die. And some days, she wished he wouldn’t save her. Some days she wanted to stay at the bottom of that pool knowing she wouldn’t be able to breathe. Ivy couldn’t help but wonder, what’s the point of living if your entire family is already disappointed in you?

During lunch, her mother Eimi asked her about today’s training. “How did it go today, Ivy?” She smiled, looking between her and her father. Ivy didn’t want to answer so she kept her mouth shut. “Ivy, your mama is talking to you. Answer her.” His fist slammed down on the table. The back of her throat burned from swallowing her need to cry. “Ivy? Answer her, girl, can you not hear?!” She flinched at him raising his voice. With a quiet sigh, Ivy spoke, carefully trying not to let her voice crack. “It w-was fine, mommy. But….” She couldn’t take it anymore. She had to speak up.

“B-BUT DADDY TRIED TO KILL MEEEEE!!” Cries broke out of her throat. “CONTROL YOUR DAMN VOLUME RIGHT NOW!” He tried to grab her arm but she ducked out of the way. “MAMA I FELL AND HURT MY FACE AND MY NOSE WAS BLEEDING AND HE THREW ME IN THE POOL AND ALMOST LET ME DROOOOOOWN!!!!” Tears dripped from her chin as she trembled and sobbed. Eimi just looked at Nami and shrugged. “Well, Ivy. Maybe if you stopped pretending your quirk isn’t there, you could have saved yourself. So I don’t want to hear it.” Ivy was horrified and offended by every word out of her mother’s mouth. “WHAT? BUT MOMMY-” “THAT’S ENOUGH! YOU’RE GOING TO YOUR ROOM!” Before she could run, he grabbed her and carried her to her room as she struggled. “I HATE IT HERE! I HATE IT, HATE IT, HATE IT!!” Once the door slammed close, she hugged one of her stuffed animals tight and cried. And cried. And cried. Until she cried herself to sleep.

Ivy had ever only known Hell on Earth. Her siblings before her were treated with respect. Even her baby brother and even younger baby sister got to see the best from their parents. Ivy was the one that they wanted to depend on. Their goals for her were to make her one of the most famous Pro-Heroes ever. Then use her paycheck to further their lives. She would put them on the map and be their little bank. But the older she got, the more she fought back. Until finally they realized she’d never be able to help them anyways.

Ivy was shunned and kicked out of her home. Forced to learn the way of the world. She made her way through three nice jobs and even college. Out of all the smoke and fire, she emerged through her trials and tribulations and began working at Endeavor’s agency. Her hardships didn’t end there but shortly after, everything started to work out for her.

Her past was filled with evil but it never influenced her to become a bad person even after never getting her quirk. She realized that quirks never really mattered. It was the love that she never received. Love that she’ll be giving to this baby. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if her child ever had to go through what she went through.

The world outside was so beautiful as they drove home. She looked at Enji and smiled. He sparkled in the sunlight. Those beautiful blue eyes focusing on the road while he held her hand up and kissed it. “You’re gonna be okay, Ivy. I love you so much. You’re going to be a great mom. And, I hope i can be a great father. On the fifth try.” The reassurance made her grin. “Thank you, Enji. Thank you.”

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