#sigh. oh to be like my dad and be able to take 7 pills in one gulp

[plmp0]

The Sex Love House PT 3

Summary: Welcome to the love house where a lot of stories will infold, 7 participants will have a chance to live together in the same house for a mounth while still doing their normal activities, will they find real love in this short period? Or at least this is what ur friend want u to believe. Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: a very manipulative!jay, manipulative!sunghoon, manipulative!heeseung, ex!bf!Jake, everyone is a perv in this house, reader is clueless, shameless reader, kinda stalker reader, Siyeon (from dreamcatcher) is also part of this, this is a pure filth, explicit content.

Smut warning: hand!job, oral (f), cum eating, desperate Jake, kind of subby!jake, p in v, unprotected sex (cause it's fiction), overstimulation, a lot of teasing, i think that's it

A/N: This part was supposed to go out a long time ago but i forgot to save it and i had to re-write it again so it's not as good cause i got annoyed sorry. Also this is not proof read so there might be some mistakes and typos so yeah

It's the week-end Jake woke up today going straight to ur room knocking on ur door before entering, u were still in ur shower robe hands blow drying ur hair as he looked at u through the mirror "oh hi i was going to talk to u after i finish, we didn't get a chance to yesterday" u said upon brushing ur hair.

He noded his head eyes scanning u, u got more beautiful since the last time he saw u, he's ngl he forgot about u at some point but he just woke up one day having u running through his head, what could u be doing now? Did u get taller? Did u let ur hair grow? How many relationships have u been through? He had these small thoughts about u, but everytime his heart tries to soften to u, the memory of ur ghosting and its side effects come back to him, it was like a trauma for him, getting in the way of every relationship he tried to be in, always having doubts about the other part, not able to trust her fully, he really has abandonement issues now.

"There is no need to bring back what happened in the past" u said getting him out of his thoughts, u turned off the blowdryer approaching him eyes softening now that he is close to u, ur guilt kicking in immediatly "m so sorry for what i did, i know nothing can excuse what i did but i wasn't mature enough" u said holding his hand in urs, he cleared his throat avoiding looking at u, pulling out his hand gentely and that was enough for u to know that he didn't forget u.

U sighed feeling bad but deciding to brush off the topic "so tell me, what r u doing now?" U asked hoping to get rid of the awkwardness noting how he didn't let a word out.

He smiled shrugging "i took over my dad's work"

U smiled back remembering how sweet his dad used to be and how good he treated u "i hope he is doing fine"

"He is" was all he replied with, taking a seat on ur bed "ahh right! Do u want something?" U asked after runing out of ideas to lighten the mood, he sighed hands massaging his forhead "i just wanted to ask if u have some pain relievers"

"Ohhh? Ur head hurts?" U asked hands busy searching in ur drawer for the said pills, taking it out and handing it to him "here" he took it from u thanking u and putting it in his pocket .

U sat on ur chair facing him now forgetting that u r still in ur robe that is about to open in any second now, ur hair isn't fully dry u look so... so tempting Jake's eyes can't help but stare at u head empty only u running through it.

"U don't want the guys to know that we were together?" U asked after talking for sometime now without getting a reply from him.

He cleared his throat again " ah idk i didn't know if u'd like them to find out so i chose to not say anything" he shrugged, u smiled at him he is still considerate as always "i don't really mind but since we didn't talk about it the first time let's just keep it between us"

He smiled back wanting to stay with u longer, seeing u now in front of him again brought back his old feelings towards u.

U heard ur phone ring on the table behind u "excuse me" u let out softly turning back and stretching to get it without standing from ur seat, exposing ur bare thighs and a faint sight of ur blue panties to Jake whose eyes were boring into u tongue darting on his lower lip , he gulped hands sweating and itching to feel ur soft skin, u smiled at ur succeed attempt to get ur phone seating properly now and answering ur call, Jake's eyes didn't leave u even for a second scanning the way u pout whenever something is not pleasing u, the way u roll the end of ur hair listening to what's been said on the other line, lips smiling from time to time flashing ur white teeth, everything about u was beautiful and he miss having u for himself.

U made eye contact with him in the middle of the call mouthing a sorry, Jake only smiling at u as he waited for ur call to end (but wishing it to take longer so he can drink in ur beautiful features more).

U ended the call that was from one of ur co-workers asking u about some file u wondering why tf they want that in the week end, u sighed looking at Jake noting the way he is looking at u.

"That took longer than i expected sorry"

He didn't budge even when u waved ur hand in front of him, only waking up when he heard ur soft voice calling his name and he almost let a sound out from that "are u okay? U r spacing out a lot" u asked concerned, eyes looking at the way his adam apple boped down before hearing him gulp loudly.

He shakes his head like he was in some sort of trance head dizzy as he inhaled u r fresh smell now that u approached him " m fine dw" u sat next to him, resting ur back on the wall and he followed ur movement head titling to face u " u r still as beautiful as u were" he let out making u blush a little bit as u give him a thank u chewing on ur lips fingers playing with the hem of ur robe.

He massaged his shoulders letting out a small groan and u turned to look at him he really look so tired "do u want me to give u a massage it's gonna help u relax a little bit" u said.

And he stayed still for a minute thinking about ur offer before noding in agreement, u stood up going to take an oil u use whenever u wanna relax "come on lay down" u rushed him and he did "i think it'd be better if u remove ur shirt" u said as he removed it and tossed it somewhere on the bed, u straddled his back he pressed his face on the matress upon feeling ur weight on top of him, his body shivering when the cold oil met his skin ur hands following after, massaging his nerves skilfully, he shut his eyes his body relaxing while releasing soft groans every now and then.

U were so good with ur hands he almost fell asleep if it wasn't for the unintentional scrach he felt on his back, u just continued working ur magic ignoring the way his body squirmed, u smirked a little bit knowing exactly how he liked that, u kept digging ur nails on his skin saying a sorry with a fake pout whenever u do so.

He could feel his muscles tensing up again, his forehead now resting on his hands teeth biting his lower lip not wanting to let a sound out, but it was impossible at this point especially when u brushed ur fingers faintly over his soft spot, u knew his body so well doing the most to get a reaction out of him, ur competitive side kicking out until a moan skipped his lips making u stop ur movements immediately "ohhh?" U said mockingly leaning forward until ur lips met his ears "u r still the same Jakey" he whimpered his hips humping the mattress shamelessly making u chuckle "what are u doing?" U asked faking a confused tone as u moved from his body standing in front of him. Jake titled his head looking at u confusion written all over his face, u cocked an eyebrow at him as he didn't stop his movements his eyes boring into ur body that was all exposed for him at this point, the robe not doing any job at hiding ur skin, the small curls at the end of ur hair still wet arms crossed waiting for him to speak but he didn't, u sighed clenching ur jaw slightly leaning forward lifting his chin with ur index finger "where r u looking? My face is here" u exclaimed wanting to get something out of him but his eyes are fixed on ur lips, u dart ur tongue on them watching how his own mouth is open almost drooling at the sight of you. Jake has always been like that, everything u did used to turn him on, and it looks like nothing changed.

U chuckled softely kneeling on the floor so u can face him blinking slowely as u caressed his cheeks titling ur head and getting closer to him until ur noses touched u were planing to tease him a little bit more but he rushed kissing u like he was starving for years, his lips moving so fast tongue rolling around urs u let go of his cheeks one hand now around his neck while the other one is searching for his hair tugging slightly as he moans in the kiss.

U left his mouth panting for some air, u looked his way and u can't help the heat that went to ur cheeks when u saw him, he looked so fucked out just from a kiss coming closer to kiss u again "so eager" u thought

U kissed him again his hands holding onto ur thighs, Jake now sitting properly without breaking the kiss making u also stand and straddle his lap, u started rolling ur hips slowly his hands following your pace, his thumbs tracing circles on ur inner thighs, ur hand going from his hair to his neck applying a small pressure and he groaned in the kiss.

"Shhh" u warned him and he whined in return making u smile in the kiss as ur hands traveled to his pants, unbuttoning them and sliding them down his knees along with his boxers, he let a deep breath out his body tensing up as he waited for u to touch him, the anticipation killing him.

"Please" he managed to mutter out his dick twitching in the cold air as his head tilted backwards and a sigh left his lips when u wrapped ur hand around his cock.

Ur thumb pressed on his slit collecting the precum that is oozing from it and spreading it along his length, his grip on ur thighs tighten as his body shakes under ur touch, he moaned in the kiss the need of breathing making him part his lips slightly, his moans were so loud despite him trying to stay silent his eyes were rolling to the back of his head.

His hips started moving up to meet ur strokes as his moans increased in volume, u felt him getting close, ur thumb now pressing on his slit again teasing him by stroking the base and going to the top before repeating the same process.

"Baby" he moaned against ur lips as his hips buckled upwards his stomach and chest rising, his hands are gripping ur thighs tightly, his nails digging in ur flesh, his toes curling as his mouth parted in a silent scream the only thing coming out of his mouth was a gasp as his eyes rolled back.

His dick twitched a few times his cum landing on ur robe and his chest, ur eyes were scanning the view, his head was still resting on the bed his eyes closed, his whole body shaking still feeling the waves of his orgasm, he was so sexy like this, and u can't deny that the thought of him getting off just from u stroking him made u so turned on, u were sure that your panties were soaked wet.

He was catching his breath when he felt u getting off his lap, he opened his eyes, his chest moving up and down, his dick still twitching as he saw the mess he made.

"Fuck y/n im sorry" he said trying to grab a tissue but his body was numb and his mind hazy.

U didn't pay him any attention going straight to ur closet pretending to get another robe and discarding the dirty one on the ground.

Jake was looking at u his dick already hardening again his eyes were roaming over ur body his gaze fixated on the curve of ur ass and the way the blue panties hugged ur thighs.

He wanted to eat u alive, he wanted to make u cry out his name, he wanted to fuck u, and u wanted the same, his dick was pulsating against his stomach, and all his senses were focused on u.

U felt his stare, turning back to face him a smirk forming on ur lips as u took a step forward and his hands were instantly on ur waist pulling u down on his lap, he attacked ur neck kissing, biting and sucking on it, he didn't want to leave a mark so he didn't suck for a long time, he went lower until his teeth bit ur collar bone his hands pulling down the new robe as his lips met the top of ur breast leaving kisses and licks.

"Oh" a sigh escaped ur mouth as u tilted ur head backwards, his right hand went down cupping ur clothed pussy while his left hand held onto ur waist for support.

He started moving his fingers, drawing circles on ur clothed clit, he didn't stop the movement of his mouth on ur breast as u started grinding against his hand. Jake was like a starving man, his touches so earger, his actions desperate.

U held onto his shoulders for support as he pushed u back laying on the matress, his body covering ur smaller frame as he started sucking on ur right breast his hand moving away the panties and entering two fingers inside ur pussy making you arch ur back as a gasp left ur lips.

His fingers were hitting the right spot and he went to kiss you again, his mouth making it hard to breathe, the pleasure was too much, ur eyes were watering, and his dick was rubbing against ur thigh, Jake broke the kiss panting like a dog delivering kisses on you stomach as his thumb was circling your clit, u were so sensitive his every move was sending shivers down ur spine, he was so focused on pleasing you, and it wasn't hard for him to get the job done, it's like he has been dreaming about this for a long time, he was now on a face level with your pussy he groaned biting his lips before replacing his thumb with his tongue, a scream slipped your lips and your back arched high in the air, his grip on ur waist was bruising, he didn't want to let go.

He hummed upon tasting you his eyes closed tongue going wild making it hard for you to contain ur moans and u were sure by now that if Heeseung was in his room he 100% have heard you, his room next to urs and that just added to ur heat making u go crazy, you were close by now already worked out just from earlier, Jake's finger went deeper making you let out a cry hands tugging at his hair and he moaned upon that "Cum for me" he mumbled against your pussy, the vibrations of his voice enough to make u reach your peak.

You cried out his name legs shaking uncontrollably, head dizzy, and chest heaving, and Jake didn't stop licking on ur clit not even giving u time to calm down and recover from ur first orgasm, "No-omg" your hands went to pull him away but instead you found them back on his hair pushing his face closer, his tongue was so skilled and u can feel yourself getting close again letting out small cries , the feeling of his tongue was so amazing and u can feel your whole body burning up, it didn't take long before u came again squirting on his face this time.

Jake pulled away his lips wet, face glistening with your juices, his eyes dark, "That's so fucking hot" he muttered licking his lips and wiping his face with his hands, he was looking at you hungrily, his cock red and dripping with precum, you wanted him inside you.

"C'mon here" u said pulling him closer for a sloppy kiss tasting yourself on his tongue as you started moving your hips, both of you were a moaning mess, the need to be close was so strong.

"Jake" u moaned against his lips and he hummed eyes still closed "fuck me" you said and his eyes shot open his mouth hanging open his breath got caught in his throat, and u smiled at him softly you were always a fan of his reactions always acting like he hasn't heard these words before as if it's his first time and you were sure that he was now going crazy, ur words made him feel like his heart is about to explode.

He didn't hesitate to get between your legs, his dick rubbing against ur wet folds as his mouth went to suck on your neck, your hands went to his back leaving red scratch marks as his tip was pressing on your hole, the need to enter was strong his eyes scanning your expressions as he entered you, a satisfied sigh escaped both of you lips, you were so warm and wet around him he didn't have any energy to start slow, his thrusts were hard and rough his hands holding onto the sheets as his hips met yours with a slap, the air was filled with your moans and the sound of skin slapping, the bed creaked underneath you and you could hear it hitting the wall, it's not a surprise if u end up with a hole in the wall, and he was going so fast he didn't give you a chance to adjust his cock hitting the right spots, "fuckk you feel so good Damn" he groaned his hips moving by themselves his head dropped enjoying the way you feel around him, your hands went to his back pulling him closer wanting to feel him deeper, his chest was now touching yours, his skin was so hot and he was sweating a lot, you can see his veins popping his mouth hanging open as his forehead was touching yours, his thrusts becoming more aggressive and it was hard to catch your breath, you can feel yourself getting close for the third time tonight your stomach twisting and your eyes rolling to the back of your head, Jake's hand moved away from the sheets gripping the headboard as he was slamming into you loving how you moan his name, he was close, so close, his dick twitched inside of you.

He was so lost in pleasure he had other plans for you but he forgot about everything focusing only on the delicious feeling of you he swear he hasn't felt this good since being with you, he doesn't know why but u just enjoys it more when it's you, his thrusts were now unrhythmic moaning as his hands went to the pillow and you let out a surprised yelp when his other hand grabbed a fistful of your hair pushing your head back loving how you look for this angle ,his cock was throbbing and pulsating inside you the knot in your stomach was so tight and you could feel yourself reaching your peak, Jake was grunting his eyes shut curses leaving his lips "fuckk fuck fuck" and you could feel the tears building up so sensitive from the previous releases and it was a matter of time before both of you came at the same time, he pulled out after spilling his seeds all over your stomach.

He let go of your hair and collapsed on the bed next to you, both of you were panting your minds were blank and the air was still thick, the room smelled of sex, Jake's hair was sticking to his forehead, his chest was moving up and down, the only sound in the room was the heavy breathing. You were laying there trying to come back from the high, you looked at Jake his eyes closed, his face still sweaty and red, your eyes moved lower, his chest and stomach are covered with his own cum and he didn't seem to mind.

You chuckled "what?" He asked eyes opening to look at you.

"Look at the mess" you said pointing at his stomach, he sat up a little bit checking it out wanting to say something but he stopped after seeing you crawling, ur hands dropping his body back as u leaned down collecting all the cum that was on his body licking it up making sure to leave no trace behind Jake had to slap himself to see if he was dreaming, his eyes were bulging and his mouth was dry 'fuck you are so sexy y/n" it was too much, too many feelings all at once, it was hard to control the heat pooling in his groin and he can feel himself getting hard again, he let a deep breath out when you stopped to show him the cum u collected before swallowing it.

"Fuck so dirty" he said pulling you for a heated kiss, your tongue battling his for dominance, he was already hard again his body was aching for u and u couldn't help but rub your pussy against his shaft.

"Please" he begged, and as much as u wanted him you were sure that your body can't take anymore, already sore from yesterday and the events that took place minutes ago.

"Next time Jakey" u said pecking his lips and he whined, his hands went down to rub your pussy and u let him, u were sure that you can't do it but a few moments later u were bouncing on his cock again.

-

You sighed after what happened Jake stayed with your for a bit helping you move to the shower wanting to help but u stopped him wanting to relax for few minutes and have an alone time and he nodded pecking ur forehead and leaving. You took longer than intended cleaning your body lazily, you went out expecting to find a mess in ur room, ur robe thrown on the ground along with ur panties and the sheets wrinkled but instead everything was neat your clothes on the basket another sheets on the bed and that alone made your day.

Jake was sweet and caring as always and ur heart ached with guilt, ur mind was still in shock from everything but you didn't have the energy to spend a long time thinking, you dressed up wearing a long blue dress with a small slit on your left leg, drying your hair only with a towel putting on some perfume and walking out. U heard some noises on the living room and u followed finding everyone except from Jake and Siyeon sitting on the table having breakfast

Jay's eyes followed your every move his jaw almost dropping, the sight of your thighs driving him insane and it was so unfair, "wow y/n u look so beautiful" Heeseung said devouring you with his eyes and Joy nodded her head while Sunghoon didn't say a thing his eyes scanning u head to toe while stuffing his mouth with food, Joy pulled the chair next to her patting it for you "come on". She is such a sweetheart and u can't help the smile forming on your lips, you took the seat sitting now between her and Sunghoon and across from Heeseung and Jay, a small groan slipping Jay's lips when he saw u sitting so close to Hoon, his eyes were dark remembering yesterday's night but he wanted to take care of you today not liking how he let u go without helping. He grabbed ur plate putting a big amount of various food and handing it to u making u chuckle "i don't think m gonna be able to finish this but thank u" u said softly making him smile as well "enjoy, u need to regain ur energy".

Joy and Heeseung were talking about something but u can't pay attention u didn't realize how much hungry u re until u had ur first bite of food. "I thought u were going out this morning" Heeseung asked eyes not leaving ur face wondering what kind of excuse u'll make after he woke up to ur moans and you could feel ur cheeks heating up remembering the events that took place just few hours ago, u cleared ur throat shaking ur head "i changed my mind" u replied trying to avoid eye contact and laughing awkwardly afterwards, Heeseung grinned nodding his head pretending to believe u "Ahhh i see" he said. Joy's eyes roamed on the table "Where is Siyeon?" she asked particularly no one and Jay answered "She still have things to do at her house but she'll be back this afternoon"

"Where is Jake?" Sunghoon asked after a while and Jay was the one to answer him again "He left few minutes they called him from work"

U nodded, it was obvious that he didn't want anyone to find out, "How did u sleep last night?" Heeseung asked u and Jay chocked on his drink while you almost spit your food, Sunghoon who was taking a sip of his tea was now coughing loudly, Joy turned to look at him her eyebrows raised "are u ok?" She asked and he gave her a thumbs up eyes watering, Heeseung was laughing at the reaction of everyone his eyes meeting with yours and you could feel the heat on ur cheeks. "Oh my god u look like a tomato" he commented still laughing and u kicked his leg with ur feet under the table so embarrassed wishing that a black hole could swallow u and take u away from this place.

Sunghoon was now smirking loving to see u in that state remembering meeting with you yesterday when u were about to head to ur room after getting out of Jay's room sweating, face flushed and lips swollen ur robe closed messily and ur hair was in a very terrible state, u stopped at ur steps upon noticing his shadow turning to see him in front of you and u really tried to act normal but there was no point of that at that rate, so u just decided to do what u do everytime = running to ur room and die from shame! u hated that it's Sunghoon who caught u all the time and u weren't sure that u'd be able to look at him the next day but u managed to do that somehow. The table went silent again until Heeseung spoke again "i was just asking cuz it was too cold yesterday and the heating system wasn't working for me so i went to ask u if it works for u but u wasn't in ur room"

"Ahh yes" u lied "i was probably in the kitchen i got so thirsty and i didn't bring water to my room before sleeping" u mumbled, ur words beating u making Sunghoon laugh again impressed by ur ability to lie that fast. Heeseung and Jay were grinning knowingly, Joy didn't seem to understand the whole situation but she shrugged continuing what she was doing on her phone. U finished eating not daring to lift ur head again rushing to clean the table and do the dishes and u almost tripped, ur legs still sore from earlier if it wasn't for Sunghoon who catched u his hands around your waist holding you close, he chuckled his lips next to your ear his hot breath tickling you "are u still thirsty?" he whispered making u push him away chewing on ur lips, he chuckled again "just kidding watch out ur steps" he said tickling ur chin and leaving, making u freeze on ur spot questioning wtf was that about before walking out to the kitchen.

Jay followed u the thought of u doing the dishes while obviously looking tired not clicking with him, he insisted to do them instead asking u to have a rest in ur room, u sighed defeated and went back to the living room not wanting to spend ur time alone knowing that u'll just gonna be having unnecessary thoughts so u hopped on the couch laying there next to Joy who was watching some random insta reels and she smiled creating more space for you "what are u watching?" u asked her softly, Joy positioned her phone to match it with ur sight "just some reels" and u nodded watching videos with her while talking about some random stuff, u sighed the mic on ur back making u uncomfortable, "u should sit in the middle" Joy suggested but u shook your head "it's fine" you replied and Joy frowned not satisfied but she didn't say anything.

After some minutes Sunghoon walked to the living room sitting accross from you, his eyes not leaving ur body and u tried not to meet his gaze, his stare was so intense and intimidating and u wished he ignored u like earlier, "y/n" he called your name and ur heart skipped a beat it was probably the first time u heard ur name skip his lips, Joy looked at him raising her eyebrow but watching ur interaction quietly "yes?" u answered voice almost unheard and Sunghoon smiled, he loves when ur all shy and awkward with him, he cleared his throat before speaking "u wanna go on a date with me?" he asked u making ur eyes widen u certainly was not expecting this from him especially and u were wondering for a second if u've heard him correctly "uh?" u managed to let out and Joy couldn't stop herself from giggling next to you, Sunghoon didn't lose his charming smile making ur insides melt not even bothering to repeat his question, u looked at Joy for help, this situation almost awkward, she was smiling at you encouraging you to give him an answer, "umm... sure" u said after some moments, Sunghoon was waiting patiently and he seemed happy with your reply and Joy clapped her hands excitedly "great then it's settled" she said and u could feel yourself drowning, not knowing what to do and what to expect ur face as red as Joy's phone case ur eyes still looking at Sunghoon who didn't drop his smile now smirking at u, his eyes so intense making u question ur respond "i hope i don't regret that" u mumbled only for u to hear.

This part has been sitting in my drafts for a long time sorry :( but yeah this was not how i wrote this part originally nd it really sucks that i didn't save it but yeah hope u enjoy ^^ the next part is gonna be super intense, spoiler: it'll be both Sunghoon and Heeseung focused and oh god this duo is a lot!

#enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen jake #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon smut #sunghoon x reader #enhypen heeseung #kpop smut #kpop fanfic #enhypen jay #park jongseong #jake sim #lee heeseung #sim jaeyun #heeseung x reader #lee heesung x reader #heeseung smut #heeseung enhypen #enhypen jake x reader #enhypen jake sim #enhypen jaeyun #sim jayun #jaeyun x reader

[potatotrash0]

can you dissolve calcium pills in water and take them that way without like. them being rendered useless

#i sincerely doubt my tiny mouth’s ability to swallow some of these pills without choking #your honor i’m too much of a Coward to attempt it #sigh. oh to be like my dad and be able to take 7 pills in one gulp #em rants #pills #pills cw

[agustdakasuga]

Between the Bloodshed | Chapter 7

Genre: Mafia!AU, Angst, Romance, Fluff

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: Doctor!Reader, Gangster!Namjoon, Gangster!Seokjin, Gangster!Yoongi, Gangster!Hoseok, Gangster!Jimin, Gangster!Taehyung, Gangster!Jungkook

Summary: Being a freelance doctor, this was just supposed to be any other job, helping a private client and taking care of him through his recovery. But you were not expecting to get caught in something so much darker that would change your life entirely.

Going with your parents to an event, you didn’t think to meet some familiar faces there. And finally, the 7 boys get to see the family that you refused to speak about. 

Warning: This story is fictional and has nothing to do with real life events or the actual members of BTS. It may contain depictions of violence, blood shed/ gore and mentions of abuse. Please read at your own discretion.

The dreaded friday morning finally came. Your mother had spent the whole night before on the phone with you, squealing excitedly about the dress she chose for you. 

“I’ll see you tonight, Kookie.” You stroked his head, making sure the rabbit had enough food and water for the day. Adjusting your hair in the mirror, you cringed slightly at yourself, clad in a light blue sundress your mother always liked. You slung your bag over your shoulder and headed out the door. 

“Can I have a coffee to go, please?” You ordered. The maid bowed and scurried off to make your regular iced coffee order. 

“Woah.” Jungkook came down. 

“One word and you’ll be unconscious.” You grumbled. He choked, whistling innocently instead. 

“Have a nice day, agashi.” The maid placed your to-go container on the counter. You nodded your head and took a sip. When you turned to head to the front door, you saw 7 pairs of eyes staring at you. 

“What?” You hissed. 

“Nothing.” Taehyung shook his head. You rolled your eyes, walking to the front to wear your shoes. 

“I’ll be back tonight.” You mumbled, giving a backwards wave before leaving the house. Your father was already waiting by his car for you. You gave a small wave and headed over. Without a word, your father just gave an acknowledging nod and entered the car. That was your relationship, strictly professional. Frankly, you were thankful for that. 

“Your mom is very excited for you to visit.” He said as he started to drive. 

“I know. Work gets busy so it’s hard to stop by.” You shrugged, putting your seatbelt on. 

“This family seems well off.” He commented. 

“Well, I’m sure you’ve heard of them. They aren’t exactly hidden from public eye in terms of their achievements and wealth. 7 young men, rich beyond belief.” You scoffed. 

“I do know them, do you?” 

“I would like to think I do. Working for them has been a pleasure, so far. For young men, they keep things very professional.” You said. Your parents always tried to convince you to work in a normal hospital, they always believed your skills should be displayed for others to see. 

“You declined your mother’s invitation for that surgical seminar?” 

“She has other surgeons under her that are equally, if not more, qualified than me. It’ll benefit them better if one of them were elected to go instead of me.” You explained. Your father pursed his lips. 

The car pulled up to the house. It wasn’t a mansion but it was still a rather big property that your parents owned. 

“(y/n)!” Your mother ran out to greet you with a hug. 

“Omma.” You hesitantly wrapped your arms around her. She chuckled, pulling away as she held your hands in hers. Patting the back of your hands, she led you into the house. 

“You look healthy.” She complimented. 

“Thank you.” You gave a small smile. There was an array of dishes on the dining table, ready for you to arrive for a meal. You went to help bring the bowls of rice out. Even if it was awkward with your parents, it was nice to have a sit down, family style meal. Your parents sat opposite you, together, while you sat across the table. 

“The car will be picking us up at 7pm.” Your father said. You nodded your head, chewing the end of your chopstick to stop yourself from saying something you would regret. 

“Stop that, (y/n). It’s a bad habit.” Your mother scolded. You removed the metal from your mouth, picking the foods instead. 

“That’s a nice bracelet.” Your mother smiled. 

“Oh, yeah... Just a token gift from a friend.” You shrugged it off. Through the rest of the meal, you listened to your parents talk about what they have been up to at work, in an attempt to persuade you to work with them. 

“You didn’t accept my invitation for that seminar. It’s prestigious, (y/n), that’s why I want you to go.” Your mother said. 

“One of your surgeons under you would benefit better from it than me, omma. Besides, I’m under a contract to work with my client now. It wouldn’t be responsible of me to just leave for a two week seminar like that.” You scoffed, putting a scoop of rice into your mouth. 

"Have you spoken to your brother recently?” Your father asked. You shook your head. Your brother didn’t live in Korea, he lived in the UK with his family. 

“Well, he has been helping with a lot of big cases in the queen’s court. They may even fly him to the States to give a seminar to some prestigious universities.” He informed. 

“I see...” Your brother wasn’t a doctor like you but he was a big-shot lawyer that worked on tons of famous court cases. 

“He says he wants to visit in a few weeks. You should be here so we can have a nice dinner together. Jumin might want to have the baby here.” Your mother said excitedly. 

“Oh, really...” You weren’t really interested at the thought of your sister-in-law having her second child here. 

“And you can help too.” 

“Omma, I’m working, I told you. I can’t be here just to take care of her new born.” You sighed. You loved your sister-in-law but having to live in a house with her, her new born and your nephew while your brother is here, will be torture for you with your parents constantly telling you how much greater they are compared to you. 

RINGGGGGGG

“Sorry, work call.” You stood up and stepped aside to answer your phone.

“Hello?” 

“Am I interrupting? You just sound like you’re having the time of your life. ” 

“Ha... ha... sure. But no, you’re to interrupting, you called at the perfect time, actually. What’s up? Someone dead or close to being dead?” You asked. Jimin laughed at your joke. 

“Unfortunately, no. Yoongi hyung is complaining about pain so I just wanted to ask if there is anything I can give him.” 

“Well, considering my medicine safe keys are with me, there’s no much you can do. Oh wait, Jin has a spare set. You can get him to open it. Look for the green bottle labelled ‘Celebrex’ or celecoxib. Give him one and that should be enough until I come back tonight.” You instructed. 

“Wait, how come only Jin hyung gets to have a spare set of keys?” 

“As the oldest, I would trust that he is responsible enough to not have a feast with my pills.” You scoffed.

“I’m hurt that you don’t think we’re responsible enough.”

“That doesn’t make me feel guilty at all. Anyway, let me know how Yoongi is. For now, ask him to wear his sling.” You told Jimin. You wouldn’t mind Yoongi having to call you home to help him. 

“He’s still able to curse at us so we should be fine.” 

“Bummer.” You mumbled. With another laugh, Jimin hung up. You sighed, returning to the table. 

“Your dad just got called in for an emergency.” Your mother informed as she cleared up the dishes. You nodded your head, watching your father put his coat on and grab his work bag. With a small wave of acknowledgement, he slipped his shoes on and left. Your parents were both workaholics, they were always highly praised for their work ethics. 

“So, any partners yet?” Your mother asked as you helped her with the dishes.

“Omma, you know I’m not looking for anyone now. I’m very much involved in my work like you and dad.” You said. 

“But still, with our busy schedules as residents, your father and I were able to get married and start a family. If not, you and your brother wouldn’t even be here.” She let out a small laugh. 

“I know. But oppa already made you a grandma with Jisung (nephew), with another on the way. There’s no rush for me.” You shrugged. 

“It’ll still be nice.” 

“I’m gonna rest in my room for a little bit.” You dried your hands and headed up to your room. Conversations like these with your parents were just suffocating and tiresome. 

“I need to get out of this.” You changed out of your dress and slipped on some shorts with an oversized hoodie. 

BEEP BEEP

‘Jimin said you’re having the time of your life. - Hoseok’

‘Yes, I am. And are you supposed to be texting me when I’m off duty? A little unprofessional, don’t you think, Mr Jung? - (y/n)’

‘If you can do wellness checks on us, I can do it on you too. But if you need saving with a ‘medical emergency’ to come back to the house, I’m sure I can injure someone for you. Maybe Jungkook or Jimin can take the bullet. I’ll make sure it’s not fatal. - Hoseok’

‘It’s just visiting my parents. I think I can handle it. But I’m oddly touched that you’re willing to do that for me. Someone kissing a*s here? - (y/n)’

‘With you? NEVERRRRRRR. - Hoseok’

“(y/n)? I wanted to show you your dress that I picked out for you.” Your mother was at your door. Leaving your phone on your bed, you went over and opened the door for her. 

“Look.” She unzipped the cloth covering and revealed the dark blue dress that she picked out for you. It was off shoulder with a flowy skirt. 

“It’s nice.” You forced a smile. 

“I knew you would like it.” She grinned, patting your head. Going to your closet, she hung it up, digging through whatever shoes you had left behind to match the dress. She placed the shoes at the bottom of the dress. 

“I trust that you can do your hair and make up on your own?” She raised an eyebrow. 

“Of course.” You shrugged. 

“Tonight, it’s a gala event to celebrate the approval of a new health campus to be opened. Governors, sponsors and potential candidates for the board of directors will be attending. It’s a rather big event. A lot of big names will be there so naturally, a lot of press ” Your mother informed. You nodded your head, wondering if you would see 7 familiar faces there as well. 

“Your father is a potential candidate for the new psychiatric unit head.” She continued. 

“I’m sure he would love for you to be under him. He can definitely get you a good position under his team. Or you could be under my team when I make the move over.” She looked at you. 

“Wait, both of you are moving over to this new health campus?” You asked, completely ignoring her persuading you to work under them. 

“That’s the plan.” She shrugged. 

“But you’ve been with Korea University Hospital for like... ever. And dad’s already in the board of directors for Seoul Institute of Mental Health.” You frowned slightly. 

“Well, when a better opportunity comes up, means it’s time to move on.” Your mother place her hand over yours. 

-

You had done your hair, neatly braiding it and pinning it up. Sitting in front of your vanity, you did some light make up on your face, finishing off with some shimmering lip gloss. 

“Time to change.” You went to your closet and fished the blue dress out fo the cloth covering. You slipped it on, smoothing down the skirt with your hands and staring at your reflection to make sure that nothing was out of place. Your parents would want everything to be pristine for a good impression.

“(y/n)! Are you ready?” Your mother called. 

“Coming!” Picking up your shoes in your hands, you carried your small bag and headed downstairs. 

“I knew it was a good pick.” Your mother clasped her hands together with sparkling eyes as she saw you approaching. Even your father nodded in approval at your appearance. 

“Thanks.” You murmured. 

“Let’s go.” Your father held his arm out to your mother, who hooked arms with him, and walked out. You simply walked behind them silently. A limousine was ready on the drive way with a driver standing there, opening the door for the three of you to enter. You sat opposite your parents, your hands resting in your lap. Your fingers fiddled with your bracelet. 

“Sir, madam, agashi.” The car came to a stop. Through the tinted window, you saw a row of reporters ready at the entrance of the building. You took a deep breath as the chauffeur opened the door. 

“We’ll answer a few questions then head in. Just smile and answer things briefly.” Your father said to you. You nodded and stepped out. 

“Mr (y/l/n)!” Reporters called out. 

“Is it true that you’re a potential candidate for the new health campus’ psychiatric department?” You stood by the side, a small smile as your father answered questions. 

“Right this way.” The security cut off the questions after a few minutes. You let out a sigh of relief. 

“Let’s go say hi.” Your mother didn’t let you out of her sight, dragging you to meet old men that possibly decided her and your father’s future job positions. All you could do was smile and shake their hands. 

“(y/n), you remember Jaewon?” Your mother smiled, bringing forth a young man in a suit to you. You internally rolled your eyes, here we go. Every event you went to seemed to be a matchmaking opportunity for your mother. She would be very delighted to wed you off. 

“Jaewon?” You tilted your head. 

“He was in my cardio-thoracic team but went to the States 5 years ago for a partnership.” She reminded. 

“Ah, yes.” You smiled and shook his hand. You’ve seen him a few times. Your mother had even invited him over for a couple of meals when youw ere still living with her. 

“How are you, (y/n)? You look amazing.” He complimented. 

“I’m doing good, thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself. I’m glad you still speak Korean fluently.” You raised your eyebrows. 

“(y/n)!” Your mother sent you a disapproving look while Jaewon blinked but laughed, nodding his head. Soon, you saw your mother abandoning you to join your father, leaving you to converse with Jaewon.

“Where are you working now?” 

“Private.” You said, taking a glass of champagne and sipping it. Jaewon nodded his head. 

“Right, you worked with private clients right? As like their in-house, family physician. I know your mother told me that you weren’t comfortable working in a public place. So you turned down a lot of good job opportunities at prestigious hospitals.” Jaewon sipped from his own glass. You frowned slightly, what exactly was he hinting at? 

“What you hear from my mother is what she thinks she knows about my job. Anything to try and convince someone to persuade me to work under them.” You chuckled. 

“That’s not-”

“Sorry, may I interrupt?” A new voice came. There was whispers and murmurs around you. That voice was all too familiar. 

“I was wondering if I was going to see you here.” You smirked, turning around to face 7, all too familiar, men. Jimin winked at you while Hoseok flashed his blinding smile. Jaewon looked confused. 

“Of course we would be here. Sponsors are the main invited guests, you know?” Yoongi spoke first. 

“You know them, (y/n)?” Jaewon asked. 

“Know them? I live with them. Unfortunately.” You rolled your eyes. Jaewon’s eyes widened at your statement. Jungkook placed his arm around your waist, staring Jaewon down. 

“I told you about the touching.” You glared at the youngest, elbowing his ribs. Still, he didn’t lose his composure and just calmly moved away. 

“Well, bye!” Namjoon gave a friendly smile before pulling you away. You gave Jaewon a backwards wave, following the boys to another side of the room. Once you were away from most of the crowd, you let out a sigh of relief, shaking your head while the boys just gave you amused smiles. 

“When you said you had friday night plans, we didn’t expect to see you here, doc.” Jin smiled. 

“Let’s just say, I didn’t come here willingly.” You snorted. 

“Are your parents sponsors?” Taehyung asked. 

“No, they aren’t. They’re supposedly part of the new health campus’ head department team so they’re here to butter people up.” You crossed your arms. The boys weren’t surprised by how honest you were.

“But you look nice.” Jimin smiled. 

“Stop or I will stab your eye. Also, how’s the shoulder Yoongo?” You changed the subject. Yoongi shrugged his good shoulder and you nodded your head with a small smile. 

“(y/n).” Someone called. 

“Dad.” You turned to see your father. He raised an eyebrow and you sighed, walking over to him. 

“I didn’t know you were friends with our sponsors? They’re one of the new campus’ biggest sponsors, you know? Young entrepreneurs with big names.” Your father said. You shrugged. 

“I don’t know if I would call them friends. But they’re the clients I’m working with now. Honestly, didn’t even know that they were coming or that they were sponsors.” You blinked at him. Your father nodded, turning on his business smile before walking over to the 7 young men. They all shook hands with your father, exchanging formalities. 

“I had no idea my daughter was working for the family.” He laughed. 

“Yes, she’s one of our best employees. It’s a pleasure having her work with us.” Namjoon complimented and you mentally scoffed. 

“She could use that talent in a hospital but refuses, sadly.” Your dad joked and you rolled your eyes.

“Shall we get some food?” Jungkook offered. You nodded and headed over to the buffet table with him and Taehyung, leaving your dad to talk to Namjoon and the others. 

“This is boring.” Taehyung complained. 

“You would think that with how many events you guys have been to, that you’re used to all this. I haven’t been to many and I am.” You shrugged, picking up a piece of cheese and putting it into your mouth. Taehyung and Jungkook laughed, they knew you hated being here from the moment they saw you. 

“Shall we get out of here?” Jungkook wriggled his eyebrows. 

“I would actually like to live another day so count me out. I’m here only for my parents and I plan to see to that until the end of the night.” You stated. Taehyung handed you a glass of wine. 

“(y/n), I was looking for you.” Your mother came. You placed the glass down, stepping away from Taehyung and Jungkook. 

“What’s wrong, omma?” 

“You... know them?” She cast a brief glance to the two young men behind you, who had now been surrounded by other young girls that wanted at least half of the attention they gave you. 

“My current clients.” You shrugged. 

“I see... Only clients?” 

“Yes, omma. You know I don’t mix business with personal relations. Everything is strictly professional.” You assured her. She nodded her head. You couldn’t tell if she was relieved or disappointed by what you said. 

~~

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[celestialrry]

oops

1.5k

summary: You didn't mean for this to happen and neither did Harry. 

warnings: a little angsty but gets fluffy, mentions of sex, crying

You didn’t mean for this to happen. You did not mean for this to happen. You stared at the two red lines on the test that sat on your bathroom counter. This was the third test you had taken, after thinking the first positive was a fluke, but then the second one was positive and you just got another test because you were currently going through the 5 stages of grief. Denial was the stage you had been at when you started throwing up in the morning, and after all three tests, it seemed you skipped to the depression stage. 

Harry had been working on promo for his new album and upcoming tour, as well as finishing touches on the album, and you spent the last day together before he left for New York and  L.A., going at it like bunnies, you wanted to give him something to remember when he was gone for the next two months. Of course you were on birth control, you had been on it for years and only a few months after you met Harry you both decided condoms weren't necessary, because you were on birth control.You stopped taking it after the first test, just in case, Harry wasn't here so it wouldn’t affect him. It was supposed to work, the two of you were dependent on it, you had never had any pregnancy scares before and never had to take the morning-after pill. God, you wish you had after you saw the results on the first test. 

You were still looking at the lines when your phone rang. You looked down on the screen and froze as you saw it was a  call from Harry. You quickly left the bathroom and shut the door, scurrying into the living room. You slid the bar across and smiled as you heard the voice your boyfriend of two years 

“Hello, m’love. How are you?” He asked, smiling even though you couldn’t see him.

“I’m fine H, how are you? How’s L.A. been?” You deflected, relying on your boyfriend’s tendency to ramble. He had been gone for about 7 weeks now and was coming back next week and you weren't so excited anymore. 

“It’s been good, I miss y’though.” He said gently into the phone like he had to keep his voice down. “I miss you too H, can't wait to see you.” 

“You won't have to wait any longer,” He said, and you raised your brow, turning your head to see the door handle turn. Oh no. The door swung open, showing Harry with a massive smile on his face, placing his bags on the floor. He hung up his phone and stuffed it in his pocket. “Honey, m’home!” 

Your jaw dropped and your mind immediately went to the test on the bathroom counter. The bathroom connected to the master, where all his toiletries would go as he unpacked. “Harry?” You asked, the thoughts in your head overwhelming you. 

He exclaimed your name and shut the door behind him, arms out as he rushed over to you on the couch. You stood up and wrapped your arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around your torso, lifting you off the ground by a few inches. “Was able t’come home early, so I did.” He mumbled, kissing your neck a few time before pulling away and connecting your lips. You kissed him back before pulling away sooner than he thought you would. You looked into his eyes and your lips turned into a pout before you pulled him into another hug, deciding not to show your face until you collected yourself. 

Harry didn't seem to mind as he accepted the hug, rubbing your back and telling you how much he missed you and loved you. “Okay love,” He gently pulled away. “I have t’pee, so let me go and then we can catch up.” He teased. Your heart clenched in panic and you watched as he walked away. “Wait!” You called as he made his way to the restroom. “Let me go first okay? I’ll be done in a sec.” You quickly said, patting his chest before hurrying off the the restroom. You opened the door and shut it immediately behind you, your breath speeding up.

Your eyes found the test and you stared at it, not knowing what the hell to do. If you tossed it in the trash can there was a probable chance he could see it, but there was no where else to put it. You wrapped some toilet paper around it and stuck it in your pajama shorts waistband, pulling Harry’s Rolling Stone’s shirt over it, flushing the toilet and turning on the faucet as if you washed your hands. 

You opened the bathroom door to see Harry standing right in front of it, his brows furrowed a bit. “Okay, your turn.” You forced a smile at his as you attempted to walk around his frame without brushing up against it. He instead smiled back at you, grabbing your hips with his large hands and squeezing there as a joke. He did that all the time and yet something about your body felt different. 

You tried to step away but he pulled you back and felt the plastic again. “What’s this?” He asked curiously, tugging up at your shirt as you tried to pull it back down. “Um, it’s a present, for you?” You said, annoyed at how bad of a lie that was. He successfully lifted up your shirt and looked at the bunch of toilet paper tucked halfway in your waistband. 

“Wrapped in toilet paper?” He joked, still smiling a bit. You just shook your head, tears now falling down your face and you pulled away from him, falling to the floor with you back against the wall, head in your shaking hands.

His eyes widened, this wasn't what he was expecting from his girlfriend when he got back. Regardless he sat on the floor in front of you, his hands finding your knees. “Baby, what's wrong?” He asked gently, thumbs rubbing your skin. 

You shook your head, refusing to uncover your face as you cried out. “I’m so so sorry Harry, I’m so sorry.” Your whole body was shaking now, as sobs racked your body. 

“Why are y’sorry, pet?” 

“It’s not a present.” You sniffled, still hiding your face. 

“I wasn't expectin’ one, pet,” He said, squeezing your knees. “Seeing you is more than enough f’me.”

His words just made you sob harder. How would he feel the same after you ruin his life? Harry was throughly confused, if whatever in the toilet paper was this bad, he needed to know what it was. He truly had no idea what it could be either, pregnancy not crossing through his brain at all. 

You sighed, trying to calm yourself down and placed your hands on his, lifting up your head to face the ceiling, taking a breath before looking at Harry. He had to try so hard to give you a comforting smile, his heart was breaking in two seeing you so upset. He flipped his palms up and held your hands, squeezing them. 

You let go of his left hand with your right, and reached into your waistband, pulling out the toilet paper covered stick. You silently placed it in his hand as more tears rolled down your face, mumbled “I'm sorry”’s repeating over and over. 

He took it, one hand still holding yours as he started to pull away the toilet paper. As the stick was revealed, his heart started to beat faster. He flipped it over, to see the two red lines. He looked at it for a moment, his brain processing what this meant. He knew the two lines meant you were pregnant, but he wanted to be positive. 

“You’re pregnant?” Harry asked you gently, grabbing your hand again. You looked up at him and frowned while nodding. “It’s the third test I've taken,” You sniffled. “And they were all positive, I was gonna go to the doctors while you were gone to be sure.”

He knew the consequences, he knew he would have to postpone his tour, or cancel it completely, but he couldn't care less. You were 99.9% positively carrying his child, and the girl he loved came before work any day. 

“Why are y’sad, lovey?” Harry asked, letting go of your hands to cup your face. “Because you have tour, and you shouldn’t be dealing with all this, and-”

“Don’t even finish that sentence,” He interrupted you. “You know y’take priority, and this isn't something t’deal with, it’s something t’love and enjoy.”

He was grinning up to his ears at this point, and it brought a smile to your face. “We can deal with everything else later, but I just wanna love on y’tonight. And our baby, because I will be here for you.” He said softly, leaning froward to kiss your nose. “M’gonna be a dad and you’re gonna be a mum.”

You kissed him softly and arranged yourself to sit in his lap as you hugged him. “We’re gonna be parents.” 

I always hate my endings but I didn't want to rewrite the whole thing lol. Thank you all for reading, you have no idea how much it means to me <3

#harry styles imagine #harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff

[13uswntimagines]

We’re the Lucky Ones (Christen Press x Reader)

Request: the reader is a recovering drug addict and doesn’t think they deserve everything they have? if you want to maybe incorporate cp as the reader's wife

Author’s Note: This one was also going to be way more angsty, but when i sat down to write it, this popped out. I hope you enjoy! Hit me up with comments, and feedback or if you just wanna say Hi!

The little red poker chip felt heavy in your hand, the ridges catching on your fingers as you rubbed it. As you traced the little 1 that was imprinted in the center. 

A year ago, you never thought that you would see this day. The day that marked your 1 year anniversary of being clean. The fight to get here was rough, an uphill climb they called it, but you could honestly say that you felt so much better like this. And it helped that you were no longer at risk of losing everything you held near and dear to you. That you no longer had to push them away out of fear. 

“You ready babe?” Christen asked from the driver's seat beside you. Her hand moved to cover your own, stopping you from rolling the poker chip between your fingers. You sighed, finally meeting her eyes. 

“You promise it’s just Tobin, Kell, and Lex right? Like the youngins didn’t convince you that I wanted a party?” You asked hesitantly. While some people thought that it was a celebratory occasion, you just wanted it to be normal. 

You shouldn’t need a one-year sobriety date at all. They shouldn’t have to worry about you taking pain killers after a game. You shouldn’t have let them down in the first place, and you didn’t want to draw any more attention to your worst life choices and coping mechanisms than absolutely necessary. 

****

See, 2016 had been very difficult. Your mom died three weeks before the start of the Olympics, and your dad forbade you from going to the funeral because you were dating Christen. Then three games in you had a collision with a Canadian defender and ended up with a broken clavicle, benching you for the rest of the tournament. The team lost and Christen was devastated and you couldn’t help but blame yourself because you were benched. 

Instead of coping like a normal person, you self medicated with the pain pills you were given. You limped along like that, abusing pain meds and hiding your spiraling from your wife and your friends. Things had come to a head 7 months before the World Cup, and you had almost lost everything. You went to rehab, made the team, and brought home the gold. 

*****

“It’s only Tobin, Kell, and Lex and we’re just going to play some footie and get some ice cream,” Christen nodded, bringing her hand up to affectionately rub your cheek and pull you in for a chaste kiss. You smiled and your shoulders relax as you released a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

“Cool,” You mumbled, resting your forehead on her shoulder and taking in the comforting smell that surrounded her. You loved your wife and you would tell her every day. She ran her fingers through your hair, scratching your scalp. Her head rested on yours. 

“I’m so proud of you,” She murmured, kissing the sling just behind your ear. 

“You shouldn’t have to be,” you grumbled, sitting up and straightening your shirt. 

“Well I am,” She smiled triumphantly, more than used to you wanting to minimize every one of your sobriety milestones. She knew how hard you worked to make unnecessary amends. You were the one who decided to accept help and the one who took each very difficult step in recovery. And she would stand by you and help you through the rest. 

*****

A day playing footie with your best friends and wife was exactly what you needed to lift your spirits. Between Kelley’s antics and Tobin's jokes, you were in a better mood than ever. Alex’s pout every time you megged her was priceless and Christens giggle put you even more at ease. 

You were sitting under a tree, as it was your turn to sit out in the 2 v 2 game, focusing on Christen’s footwork (definitely not checking her out). 

You were staring so intently that you didn’t see the other ball flying in your direction, only looking up when a loud “Hey look out!!!” Caught your attention. You moved just in time to catch the soccer ball headed straight for your head, smiling at a little girl who came racing your way. 

“Whoa, kid, nice foot you got there,” You laughed, tossing the ball back towards the little girl, her cheeks flaming red. 

“I promise I wasn’t aiming for you!” The girl rushed out, not noticing your friends walking up behind her, nearly jumping out of her skin when Tobin grasper hef shoulder. 

“Don’t tell her that kid, makes the shot way less impressive,”

“What’s your name?” Alex asked, kneeling down to be eye level with her. 

“C-Camren,” She stuttered, clearly enamored by the number of national team players surrounding her. 

“Well Camren, since you almost pegged me in the head, how bout I sign it for ya?” You sent her a lopsided grin. 

“Really?” Camren asked with wide eyes. 

“Sure kid,” Your wife nods, picking up her purse from behind you to get a marker. She dug through her bag looking for a Sharpe she kept for this occasion.

“Excuse me, I don’t want to cause a problem, but are you sure she should be around kids?” A woman who she assumed was the child’s mom approached her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. Christen looked up at the woman, raising her eyebrow. 

“Why?”

“Well I’m sure you ladies are aware of her… history,” The woman said hesitantly, glancing your way with disdain, and you froze the ball falling to the grass. 

“Oh, right,” you cleared your throat, trying to squash the feeling of shame, your good mood suddenly gone. You glanced down at the ball settled in the grass, refusing to look up.“well I’m sure my friends would like to sign your ball,” You sent the girl a pained smile, covering your grimace. 

“They certainly make better role models, honestly I don’t know how you stayed with her after everything she pulled,” Camren’s mother snorted as you stood, her lip curling. “you don’t deserve her,” 

Your shoulders sunk and you nodded. 

“I know, I’m gonna go,” you mumbled, pointing towards the car. You knew that Christen deserved so much better than you, but having it thrown in your face hurt. 

“I’ll go with you,” Kelley leaped up, intertwining your arms and shooting your wife a questioning glance. 

“I’ll be there in a second,” She waves you off, her lips forming a thin line. Tobin took off after you, stealing your hat when she caught up. 

“Good riddance,” The lady mumbled under her breath, staring a hole in your back as you left, missing the agitated glance Alex and Christen shared. Today was about covertly celebrating how well you were doing, about combatting the thoughts that you struggled with, not dredging up the past. 

“You know, she’s the strongest person I’ve ever met, and it’s a shame that you can’t see past a mistake,” Alex said deadly calm. The woman scoffed, waving her hand dismissively. 

“Once an addict always an addict,”

“See that’s the problem, you think you know her and the whole story and you don’t. Your kids would be lucky to turn out half as well as she has. She made her mistake and works every day to make up for it,” Christen ground out with, not sparing the woman another glance as she gathered up your belonging and stalked off towards you, shaking her head. How could people be so close-minded? 

*****

You licked your ice cream slowly, refusing to make eye contact with the four women shooting you worried glances. You were being very quiet, too quiet. 

Kelley raised her eyebrows, tilting her head in your direction and making a bunch of weird facial expressions as if to say that they needed to do something about your mopeyness. It had plagued you for a long time, your unyielding need for atonement, despite having already received it. 

Christen shook her head, afraid that pushing you would do more harm than good. Kelley rolled her eyes, deciding that if no one else was going to do it, then she was. 

“Don’t listen to any of the shit that lady said,” She said offhandedly, licking her cone and completely stopping the flow of the small talk the other three women had been having. You froze, pulling the spoon out of your mouth with a pop, wide eyeing the group. 

“I just..- she’s right. No kid should ever look up to an ex-drug addict,” You mumbled, returning your spoon to the icecream and stirring it, staring at it intently. 

“No, they should look up to the woman who has sought help,” Your wife hummed, placing a finger under your chin and forcing your y/e/c orbs to meet your own. 

“The woman who would do anything for her friends, even if it meant burying all of her own pain,” Tobin added, her hand covering yours and rubbing circles on it. 

“The most loving and supportive women that I’ve ever met,” Alex smiled, nudging your shoulder, effectively creating an Y/n sandwich with Kelley. Christen placed a chaste and gentle kiss on your lips, leaving behind the taste of her pistachio ice cream. You licked your lips chasing the flavor. 

“I’m lucky to have you guys. I don’t think I would have been able to do this without you,” You murmured, pulling the little red chip from your pocket and spinning it absentmindedly through your fingers. It was a habit you had acquired in rehab that followed you throughout your recovery. You flicked the chip with your thumb, sending it tumbling through the air, only for it to be caught by Kelley. Your eyes snapped or hers. 

“We’re the lucky ones to have someone as strong as you,”

#christen press x reader #christen press imagine #uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines

[blushing-starker]

Anon asked for alpha Peter and omega Tony for a baby announcement. Thank you to the wonderful @vaguekiwi for motivating me and sharing her thoughts on the story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, anon.

"Tony, Tony? Are you up? It's 7:30am already, you have a meeting with Miss Potts in forty minutes. Tony?"

Soft hands curl into already silver hair, scratching at the strands in an attempt to wake him up gently. Butterfly kisses on a cold nape, a ridiculously hot nose nuzzling everywhere. Peter knows scenting the billionaire is basically the only way one can ensure a calm morning.

Not today. And not for the next few months either.

He loves his husband, appreciates the nearly romantic demeanor, he does. But "unless you have a cup of coffee for me, there is no way in hell i am gonna leave this bed. your child has kept me up with nausea the entire night. I wanna hurl my guts out more than that time Rhodes found Dad's liquor cabinet. please, tell me you have coffee."

"..." Tony is severely displeased by the fact he can read Peter like a book even with half his mind shut off because fine, he's right and dammit all.

"I want that weird drink you make. The one with milk, cinnamon and chunks of brownie. And French toast with waffles. No jam, not too much butter, as much sugar as possible. Now, go before I scream at you for having the only dick that could get a hormone fucked forty something omega pregnant. "

The kid scrambles from bed, practically face plants with all the covers tangling long legs and yup, this is the person that the universe designated as his soulmate. Because Tony Stark can never have a partner with a reasonable, normal amount of enthusiasm, stamina and a sense of balance.

That sounds like he's ungrateful, he's not. But it turns out being three months pregnant gives him plenty of perspective to peer at life in a whole new way that does not include caffeine, alcohol or sex.

Would he kill and die for this amazing human being that makes Tony's heart race no matter the day, that inspires him to be a better version of himself? Yes, no questions asked. No hesitation and no regret.

Would he clobber Peter for doing the impossible and technically causing Tony incredible discomfort on a daily basis thanks to what his doctors can only assume is a superhuman baby he already loves and adores more than life itself? Also yes.

Things aren't mutually exclusive in this household.

Pep, bless her, has yet to find out about their future mini Parker so there's been no respite on the whole 'running a multi billion dollar industry ' thing. And yeah, while it's not exactly easy, he can focus on other things and not fall into a panicky state of mind — because him? A father? Of a super baby? Tony Stark, infamous playboy with a hedonistic streak, a dad?

Just thinking along those lines makes shame and self doubt slither over a metallic plate. Working, dealing with innovative scientists, crafting the new world of tomorrow, guaranteeing the safety of their planet, shapeshifting into a role model, a mentor (for the interns and school kids he visits, not Peter, of course, thank God they left that dynamic ages ago), loyal friend, reluctant errand boy (fuck the assholes in charge of the Accords), great husband, good man, it all distracts a fearful child from thinking, what if I turn into Howard?

"I couldn't find brownies, so cookies it is! Aunt May had a few boxes sent in when I told her work was keeping you on your feet all the time. Said it'd be a good idea to snack along the day in case you—" Peter freezes, tenses with a not-so-narrow back held ramrod straight. Oh, his husband brought him breakfast in bed.

How could he ever think to clobber such a nice, wonderful—

"Your scent is odd."

"Yeah, well fuck you too then."

Five seconds of silence.

"I'm bringing you one cup of coffee and the hormone pills."

" Yup, that's a great idea. "

---------------------------

Tony’s mumbo jumbo with self loathing is firmly put on the back burner after inhaling a delicious breakfast and chugging that one glorious cup of coffee. Until they go to the bathroom and he sees himself in the mirror.

"We gotta tell them."

"You said you wanted to wait a while before saying anything."

Peter strips, ducks into the warm shower, lets out a pleased little sigh and Tony wants to rip his fingernails off. Is it bad, having sex while pregnant? No! The doctors, every single one of them, said it's a perfectly normal thing to do. It'd be bad if they didn't have sex because Tony, thanks to his crazy hormone production, needs the extra attention for his body to understand this is a happy process that shouldn't include sad pheromones or stressed out moments. Will Peter put him out of his misery and allow a quickie in the mornings? No.

"Take more than five minutes in that shower and I'm joining you."

Listen, he grew up in the 80's and 90's, Tony wasn't immune to peer pressure. Did he cave and eventually do so many squat competitions with Rhodey his butt turned into a duck's butt? There's no evidence, he's made sure, but yes. And Starks have always turned out to be beautiful, doesn't matter your gender or age. Finding a companion for the night has never been a problem for anyone in his family tree.

That, and his work as Iron Man has kept him — well, not ripped like Cap, certainly not as lean and (God help him) athletic as Peter, but fit. Sturdy. Firm. Solid. (Peter once muttered the words 'daddy-like' in regards to his body and he nearly choked on water.)

The passage of time has made him a bit slower, dusted once black hair with, as his husband says, stardust and the corners of his eyes now show how much time Tony spends laughing or frowning. All in all, he looks fucking spectacular for his age and experience as a villain-punching-bag. Thing is, he has a belly. A bump. A curve where it was once, well. Less curvy. Is it a problem for Peter? Nope, as acknowledged every time his alpha tackles him if he so much as looks oddly in the mirror. Is it a problem for him? He'll get back to you on that.

The point is, there's a belly when just a few months ago there wasn't such a pronounced belly. It's great, of course. Proof their child is growing steadily and Tony's body is adjusting to it accordingly. A small part of him, the omega part he actually lets live, is fascinated and proud. He's doing that, Tony's the one growing a human being, creating life out of nothing in his own body. That child, although not the only physical embodiment of their relationship, is a result of his love for Peter. Of how much his husband loves him. They love each other so much they're gonna start another family together. That chokes him up a bit, reminds him how grateful he is for Peter and for the other Avengers. If they hadn't been so accepting of his status, would he have ever considered going through with this?

Anyway, he's not gonna start sobbing this early in the morning when there's no alcohol involved. It's fantastic seeing his child develop, good, warm and fuzzy feelings, yada yada yada, it's also not very easy to hide. And Tony...Tony wanted to hide it from his family because.

Because Peter hasn't been the only partner in all his life that has wondered about a future with a white picket fence. Because when he was Peter's age, in his goddamn prime, a doctor, ten doctors, all the doctors told him the same thing, smashed his dream into a million pieces. Tony was nearly infertile. There was a one in a million chances of him getting pregnant. If he did, they couldn't be sure his body would be able to maintain two hearts. And then the cave happened.

So yeah. It happened to his cousins, his aunt, a few uncles, his grandmother. Tony would do a baby announcement, but only the second that baby was outside of him and safely in his arms. Now there are still several months left and nothing certain. But time is a bitch and beginning to show the world, maybe those extra pounds aren't from eating the Parker's amazing breakfasts.

"Tony, you know I don't wanna risk-" Losing control of my strength. They've been together long enough that Tony can see quite clearly between the lines.

"Hurting us, yeah, I know, I understand. I'm getting too wide, we're gonna have to tell them or Natasha will take one look at me and whoops, impromptu announcement from someone else. It's a miracle she was out on those missions when we found out." Thank God for renegade troops.

He's still looking at himself in the mirror when Peter comes out, barely dries up and slides behind him. His husband is slightly taller now, can easily hook a curved jaw on Tony's shoulder to peer at the image they make. Contrasts, he supposes, have always enthralled Tony. The study of light and shadow. Variations of the same basic components. Where his body is aging, showing signs of wear and tear, Peter's is evolving into something beautiful, majestic. Silver hair, chestnut brown. Scarred canvas, silky smooth and sunkissed skin. Soft, fragile curves, chiseled lines that deserve to be revered more than Michelangelo’s David. But their eyes, their eyes are equally tired.

“We can tell them if you want, have dinner together and just, just say it. Like that -”

“No. It's our kid, we're not gonna act like it's ripping off a band aid. This is special, unique. Dinner is good. Fantastic, actually. Wait for dessert, and announce it. “ Peter comes ever closer, wraps arms that could carry the world around him and how did he get so lucky?

They've lied to each other in the past. Mostly in the beginning, when they were too worried about hurting their new relationship to show their desires and wants. Tony didn't explain the Training Wheels Protocol. Peter tried to fight high level crime on his own. Things got hard to understand, like being in the right place at the wrong time. Puzzle pieces that didn't quite fit together, an extra inch of space prohibiting them from seeing all the possibilities that the truth could bring. They were walking the same path, just in parallel lines that never crossed.

But then he'd been rejected, thrown away and able to realize how fucking stupid it was to let Peter go when being near the kid, it felt like finally breathing after residing in the deep end of a pool for a thousand years. So Tony ran after him one day, crashed into his AP English class, half assed an excuse for the baffled teacher, yanked Peter out of the room and proceeded to have the best make out session of his life with his back against the kid's locker. And now they don't lie, ever.

Which is why it's so hard to accept Peter's, “You're beautiful, Tony. The handsomest man I've ever seen in my life. I loved you before, I love you now, I'll love you forever, Anthony Stark. You carrying our kid doesn't change that, how could it, Tony? It's going to be ok. The three of us will be ok and I won't stop thanking whoever decided I'd get to marry my wet dream.”

Scorching kisses trace his pulse point slowly, sharp nails start dragging against a too thin shirt, but it's the fact that Peter hasn't looked away from him, is confidently holding his gaze through the glass, that makes Tony shudder and stop breathing.

The bathroom is flooded with pheromones, cinnamon and honey assaulting an unprepared billionaire, and he'll die if they stay like this, can't function properly, brain switching gears, trying valiantly to remember baseball stats, past wounds, May's cooking because Peter's gonna wreck his sanity if those hands keep winding down, if those lips don't stop unraveling him like a Christmas present.

“If I'd known you'd get this handsy and romantic, I would have complained about how I look earlier." It's a gasp, half murmur, half plea as Peter grins at him shamelessly. “I know it's rude and wrong and sexist, but I like comforting my omega, acting like a stereotypical alpha. Makes me feel like I'm doing my job of making you happy. “

He quirks an eyebrow, is glad Peter can be comfortable enough to take the reins every once in a while. “You're telling me that assuring me I'm still drop dead gorgeous, “ his husband snorts, nips at Tony's shoulder for that quip, “ makes you horny because you feel like an alpha comforting, and I quote, ‘your omega’? “

Peter reverts back to the shy teenager who could barely ask a girl out to the homecoming dance, ducks his head into Tony’s neck with a blush quickly spreading over damp skin. “Well, I've got news for you, sweetheart. Your wet dream also thoroughly enjoys it so you better break tradition and have sex with me to remind me I'm the hottest man you've ever seen. "

He's actually serious about this, his self esteem hasn't exactly been, you know, the best and Tony's mood always improves significantly after playing around in bed with Peter. Besides, it's a sign of trust. Peter won't hurt him or their child, will be able to hold back his strength. He always does.

Listen, it's not exactly moral, but he has more than enough problems to go ahead and analyze his attraction and dependency on Peter while pregnant.

“So, I can distract you from your bad thoughts by acting sort of possessive and taking you to bed? " Oh, he adores when his husband is afraid of showing a new side of himself and asks for permission ever so sweetly.

“Babe, if you don't, I'll kick you out of the apartment. Give me possessive Peter Parker any day you want, like I'm gonna complain about a gorgeous, brilliant twenty something year old all over me. Now what's it gonna be, alpha dear, bathroom or bedroom? I wouldn't mind the tile but, oh God, I forgot you could pick me up." Tony clings to broad shoulders, can't help but laugh because aren't they a pair?

-------------------------

After having what he's sure was the best sex of his life, Tony stumbles out of the bedroom with torn clothes, a dazed look in his eyes and several bruises blossoming around his neck. Peter's halfway out the doorway when Tony whistles, makes sure all their family is paying attention, blurts out, “Peter and I are having a kid. I'm pregnant, woohoo, it's great, it's amazing, save your congratulations for later. We'll do a proper thing soon, if anyone interrupts and they're not dying, I'll kill you myself. See you in a few hours, " and yanks him back in while Friday activates Sock on the Doorknob Protocol.

Rhodey and Nat clink glasses while waiting on the others to pay up on their bets regarding Tony and Peter's odd behavior.

--------------------------

Later, much later, like, two days later, they have a proper dinner with their family in the tower. There are balloons and streamers, cake and ice cream, warm hugs and gentle cheek kisses, subtle tears and full on weeping (Happy had to borrow a box of Kleenex), pictures and videos and a pile of gifts taller than Tony.

The most important thing, though, is that the A.I recorded the reaction after Clint asked about baby names. He's grateful they went to the doctor before tonight. The visit revealed a treasure Tony thought he'd never have. Now it's time to reveal it to their pack.

His husband snuggles up to him, is so ecstatic the whole dining room smells like cinnamon and honey, like joyous love he'll never get enough of. Tony grins at him, curls their hands together and repeats the same thing over and over again in his head.

It'll be ok. They'll be ok. If the universe keeps giving Tony the greatest gifts he could ever want, maybe it's time he stopped looking at the horse's mouth. That's how it goes, right? Right.

He turns to look at Peter, loves him so much it aches, feels tiny feet pressing against his stomach. Guesses he's not the only one smitten with this incredible human being.

“We were thinking Marie,” Peter smiles at him, eyes lit up and lovely.

Tony is never going to forget this moment, this warmth in his chest.

“And Benjamin Parker-Stark.”

Their family loses their shit and both Friday and Karen have ample proof.

(@puppypeter look, omega tones! @tonystarkisaslut thank you so much for allowing me to use the prompt board! I am still accepting prompts! Although I can't guarantee getting them ready within a few days, I'll try to finish them on the one week mark depending on how long the fic is!)

#tony stark #peter parker #starker #peter parker x tony stark #ironspider #peter x tony #soft!starker #lovely anon #prompt fill #my writing #baby announcement #alpha!peter #omega!tony #omegaverse starker #did i love writing this? #yes i did #mpreg #a/b/o

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

summertime sadness .8.

deja vu

Sequel to kiss me in the d-a-r-k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 (masterlist under construction)

Warnings: non con 

This is dark!(dad)Steve and dark(professor!)Bucky and dark!Loki and explicit. 18+ only.

Summary: The reader tries to avoid disaster.

Note: Not much to say for this one. Just enjoy. Thank you!💋

<3 Let me know what you think in a reblog, reply, or like. I’m loving the feedback from y'all and the enthusiasm! Also as always, memes accepted.

💋💋💋

Friday night. You were on the train before six. Loki let you go fairly quickly. He had cum fairly quickly. The remnants were on your blouse, barely concealed by your cardigan. The shadows of the underground flickered through the windows and the noise of the crowd drowned out that in your head.

You walked the half-block to your building. An unexpected figure sat waiting on the step. It was too late to hide. Bucky stood, the pizza box balanced against his chest. He smiled weakly.

"Figured since you've been dodging me, I'd come to you," He said evenly. "And I brought some food to appease you."

"I'm not very hungry." You muttered as you dug around for your keys. "I'm tired."

"Must be. You're home late. Train doesn't take that long." He remarked. "If you don't want a slice, you can keep the leftovers for tomorrow. Or is it me you don't want?"

You sighed as you brushed past him and he followed you into the lobby.

"I just...have a lot on my plate." You said as you unlocked the door. "I don't think it's a good idea to keep this up while I'm..." 

"Fucking your boss?" He ventured. "You think I couldn't guess?"

"Working." You insisted as you stopped in the door. "And what do you care?"

"I don't, really. I'm only curious. It's all so sudden. You know, it wouldn't bother me if--"

"Nothing bothers you," You snapped. 

"So what do you think? You cut off your old ties and chase him into the sunset? You really think he's gonna help you once he's had his fun?"

You flinched. You lowered your eyes and turned away. He kicked his foot in the door before you could close it.

"No, but it will do neither of us any good to carry on like this." You retorted.

He frowned. He looked at the pizza box and picked at the edges with his nails. He nodded. "He knows."

"Yeah," You confirmed meekly. "He knows."

"And so he told you to ditch me? He blackmailing you?"

"I made that decision. To protect both of us."

"Protect us? This could fuck up your whole career."

"Yeah, and if our little affair got out, what do think then? You think they'd keep you on tenure?" You spat.

"I'd find something else. You don't have to play martyr." He argued.

"Sure, maybe you'd survive the fall but what about me? I don't think I'd be able to climb back up."

"Sure you could." 

"I'm on scholarship. And if they didn't kick my ass out of the university, they'd surely pull my funding. And the internship? Loki could have me blacklisted all the way to England." You shook your head. "I don't get to fuck up. Not like you."

"And what about Steve?" He asked.

"What about him?” You sneered. “I think I'll stop while I'm ahead." 

"You can't just cut him off like that." He said.

"I can take care of myself. About time I start." You hissed.

"A little help never hurt anyone." He said.

"Just... I can't right now." You uttered. "I can barely think. I don't sleep. I... please just leave me alone."

Bucky scowled. "You gonna tell him?" 

"When I find the words," You said. "Please don't."

"Yeah, no, you take care of yourself," He shoved the pizza toward you. "And eat something. Just one slice."

"No, I can't."

"Just do me this last favour." He pushed it against you until you took it. "I don't even like feta."

"Thanks." You took the box entirely. "I'm sorry."

"Nah, I'm sorry." He shrugged. "It's as much my fault as yours but... hey, if the fall gets too high, let me know. I'll still be there to catch you if I can."

You gulped and nodded, unable to speak through your tightened throat. You sniffed and finally found your voice.

"Bye." You squeaked.

"See ya," He gave half a wave. "You got my number."

He turned and you watched him go. You backed up slowly until the door shut. The pizza was still warm but the smell turned your stomach. Or maybe it was yourself that made you so sick.

💋

Another week passed. Another agonizing week. The office that was once your naive fantasy had become an all too real nightmare. Loki hovered over you, even when he wasn’t there. He loomed menacingly on your shoulder. His voice in the back of your head.

And Steve. The messages never stopped. You woke to them and fell asleep reading them. Still, you couldn’t think of what to say. He’d give up eventually. You were just some girl he fucked. That’s it. So you left him on read and distracted yourself with your daily torment.

Loki was out of his office that day but it didn’t preclude you from his schedule. As you packed up, your phone vibrated. He was waiting for you outside. You knew exactly why. The same reason he kept you every day. He wanted to try a new toy. Wanted to play with his toy. You responded quickly and dropped your phone in your bag.

The elevator was too fast so you took the stairs. Your steps echoed around the flights and when you reached the bottom, you were out of breath. You stepped out into the lobby and lingered there. Loki’s streetcar was by the curb just outside the doors. His driver kept the window up when you were around.

You took a breath and your heels clicked across the polished floor. You pushed through the door as the rear window of the car slowly declined. Your name tripped you up as it came from your left. You turned to the familiar voice as its owner stepped away from the side of the building.

“Steve?” You gasped. “What are you--”

“Ah, so you remember me?” He asked as he crossed his arms. 

“Steve…”

“I just want an answer. Anything?” He stepped closer. “Just tell me why?”

“I… can’t,” You sucked in your lip nervously. “I gotta go.”

“No, no, you can’t just run away,” He caught your arm before you could flee. “Bucky told me you iced him out too. And I can tell he’s not telling me everything either.”

“Look it’s… complicated.” You sputtered. “Can we-- can we meet later? I’ll tell you then but I really need to go.”

A car door opened and closed. You cringed as the figure in your peripheral neared and the arm snaked around your waist to draw you away from Steve.

“Problem?” Loki asked with a smirk.

Steve scowled and looked between you. “Not yours, buddy.”

“I’d say it was. You’re keeping my date…” His hand dropped and he squeezed your ass. You flinched and looked to the sidewalk. “And we have plans I am most eager for.”

“We’re talking,” Steve said. “Give us a minute.”

“You can keep talking,” Loki taunted as his hand trailed along your spine.

You felt Steve’s eyes on you but couldn’t bring yourself to look up. “Without you.” Steve warned.

“Whatever you have to say to her you can say to me,” Loki argued. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind. Seems she has a certain taste.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think she was into assholes,” Steve scoffed. 

Loki chuckled. “Look, gramps, can we get this over with?”

“Oh, we can end this,” Steve stepped up to Loki. “You just gotta walk away.”

Loki rescinded his arm and met Steve in kind. “Doesn’t look like she wants to talk.”

“I didn’t ask you.” 

“Well, let’s talk then.” Loki taunted. “You see, me and your midlife crisis have been having quite the time and we’re running behind.”

“Don’t,” Steve bristled.

“And I hear… rather I know,” Loki lowered his voice, “She loves it from behind.”

“Don’t talk about her like that.” Steve growled.

“You must know? Or maybe you’re the old missionary hero, yeah? How long does that little blue pill keep you going?”

“Stop.” Steve’s tone drew your eyes up at last.

“It’s all me. No enhancement.” Loki continued. “And oh, does she love it. You should hear her, begging for it as I--”

Loki stumbled back suddenly as Steve’s fist flew up. You exclaimed and backed away as Loki barely stayed on his feet. Steve reeled back again and you caught his arm before he could grab your boss by his scruff. 

“Steve,” You pleaded. “Leave him alone.”

He looked at you then to Loki cradling his bloody nose. “You’re coming with me. Now.”

“No, I don’t think she is,” Loki said as he sniffed back the blood. 

“Oh ho, well you can stop me from taking her,” Steve flexed his fingers. 

“Steve!” You snapped. “Enough. Both of you.”

Loki narrowed his eyes as he pushed his knuckle to his nose to stem the bleeding. He nodded and glared at the other man. “Fine. Get him out of here before I’m inclined to return the favour.” He barked. “But I expect you at eight. Sharp.”

“Alright, okay,” You appeased as you clung to Steve’s arm; he was still tense and ready to pounce again. “Just go.”

He pinched his nose and grimaced. He turned and strutted over to his town car. He sent one last snarl your way as he opened the door. As his door snapped shut and the car drew away, you let out a shaky breath. You looked up at Steve and his eyes met yours.

“We need to talk,” He said.

“Yeah,” You sighed. “I think we do.”

💋

Your apartment was quiet. A thick silence that settled in your chest. You closed the freezer and grabbed a cloth from your drawer. You wrapped up the ice pack as you neared Steve and sat beside him on the end of the bed. You took his large hand and pressed the cool bundle to it. He hissed, his knuckles swollen and red.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” You said.

“I couldn’t help myself,” He let you cradle his hand. “I can’t believe you’re fucking that guy.”

“Yeah? Or you can’t believe I’m not fucking you?” You challenged.

He frowned and looked away. “Maybe both.” He admitted. “But why him?”

You let out a long breath. You looked to your feet and shifted on the bed. “Because… he could take everything from me.”

“He…” His brow creased. “He’s blackmailing you?”

“Just like you.” You shook your head. “Same tricks, only better.”

“I--” He began. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“You still got that video?” You asked.

He hung his head guiltily. He didn’t need to say so.

“It’s all gotten out of control and the only thing I can do is let the mess drown me,” You grumbled. “All I have to do is get through the summer.”

He drew his hand away and leaned away from you as he dug in his pocket with his uninjured hand. He pulled out his phone and unlocked it. He opened his gallery and scrolled through until he found the video. He handed it over.

“Delete it.” He said. “I shouldn’t have ever taken it. I shouldn’t have…” 

You took the phone as his voice died. You watched yourself undressing by the hot tub. It felt so long ago. You hit the trash can icon and hovered your finger over ‘yes’. You sniffed and pressed down. The video disappeared.

“So, does that make everything right?” You scoffed.

“Not even close,” He said. “I don’t think anything will. I realise that now.”

“Yeah, no going back,” You muttered.

“I’m sorry. I know it probably means nothing, but I am.”

“Loki… isn’t your fault.”

“No, he isn’t but… I still hurt you. I used you and I knew what I was doing but I did it anyway.” He stretched his bruised fingers and hissed. “I wish I could punch myself.”

“I know what you mean,” You leaned against him. 

“You can punch me.” He said.

“No, I meant me,” You shook your head and placed his phone beside him. “Thank you for apologizing.”

“Least I could do.” 

He let you take his hand again and exhaled as you put the ice to it. You stared at his phone as you thought. You raised your head and looked him in the eye. 

“Thank you!” You chimed.

“For what?” He blinked. 

“I think I figured it out.” You breathed. 

“Figured it out?” He wondered.

“First,” You grinned as the pieces fell together in your mind. “I gotta meet Loki at eight.”

#summertime sadness #kiss me in the d-a-r-k #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #loki #dark steve rogers #dark bucky barnes #dark loki #dark!steve rogers #dark!bucky barnes #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #loki x reader #dark steve rogers x reader #dark bucky barnes x reader #dark loki x reader #dark!steve rogers x reader #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!loki x reader #dark!loki #series #Sequel #Fic #Dark Fic #dark!fic #marvel #MCU #captain america #au

[pluto-art]

Syncytium - Chapter 5

Title: Polarization Words: 11,170 (including author’s comments) Rating: T

Fan Fiction: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13712482/5/Syncytium

Just as always, I highly recommend the FF.net version, as it includes all accentuated words. This has been my favorite chapter to write so far. Consider it a New Year’s Eve gift. Enjoy. :)

October 1st, 1993 - 7:10 PM

The wall to the cloaked laboratory slid open with a soft hiss as Brian T. Globetrotter quickly shuffled out of his private workshop and headed for the elevator. His ears perked a little as a distant sound caught his ear. It sounded like shuffling. Was that coming from the... trash cans? A yearning desire to investigate had to be cut short, however, as a small ding signaled the arrival of his ride. Not like he could wait another minute anyway. He stepped past the steel doors and poked intrusively at Floor One's button, doing his best not to break out in a desperate dance as his pained expression was shut to the basement.

In a back corner of the basement, a trash can wiggled about unsteadily... then went still. A second later and it jumped about again, rocking back and forth, as if someone were tickling its insides mercilessly. Then, with an echoing pop that reverberated off the walls, from its stomach burst forth a tall white mouse, his hair disheveled and his glasses askew as he shook himself, breathed out a welcome sigh of relief, and hopped out of the can before replacing its lid.

"Sorry, Mr. Trash Can. Zort! Thanks for all the help, though!" Pinky apologized, smiling as he refitted the can with its metallic "hat" and patted it kindly.

Even though no one could hear him, he took care to tip-toe as covertly as he could past where the secret laboratory lay, beyond the elevator, and up... up... up the stairs, only exiting onto the first floor landing once he heard the familiar ding of the elevator below, signaling Globetrotter's return to the basement. He smiled and blew out yet another grateful sigh. That was a close one. He'd almost gotten caught!

Down below, Globetrotter stepped out of the elevator, adjusting his pants a touch and facepalming. That one had been painful... He reminded himself that his next doctor appointment was the following Tuesday, and privately hoped that they'd have a better solution - stronger pills or something. This was getting ridiculous.

Pinky hadn't noticed that, in his haste to hide from Globetrotter's prying eyes, he'd dropped his #2 pencil on the ground at the lab's entrance. But Globetrotter noticed. He picked up the orange object and turned it about with bandaged fingers, a crease or two forming upon his thick brow. This wasn't his. #2 pencil? He'd never be that cheap. Someone had been here...

/\/\/\/\/\/\

October 4th, 1993 - 4:14 PM

It was official: The Halloween party was happening at the end of the month - October 30th, a Saturday. Somehow, after four years of the school going without any employees-only holiday gatherings, Pinky had gotten it passed; or, rather, the principal had passed it. Even with him being one for the theatrics, many still couldn't understand why he had no aversion what-so-ever to such an event, especially considering that it was said principal whom had banned employees-only parties in the first place due to an unfortunate incident. Some were convinced that he had an ulterior motive, though what that might be no one could even begin to guess. And so a mystery it remained, although a good number of teachers were unabashedly excited for the party regardless. A few stragglers, such as Mr. Ages and Globetrotter, refused to attend, finding it a waste of time. Completely. Others, however, such as Mrs. Brisby, Dr. Dawson, and Bernard and Bianca had already picked out their costumes. Mr. Ages and Globetrotter rolled their eyes at this. It was generally agreed upon that the party was to be held at Flaversham's house, as he was one of the most handsomely paid and, as a result, owned the largest establishment. He was also incredibly humble about it and often welcomed visitors. The only rule for this autumn gathering was that no children were allowed, and so Olivia would have to room with Mrs. Brisby and her children for the night. Flaversham was agreeable to this. Olivia was not.

Pinky came across her that afternoon, sulking by his door at 4:14 PM. She had been noticeably absent to class, and as the lanky, spectacled mouse approached the young girl, he frowned at her in concern.

She didn't look at him as he knelt down to her level. The floor was, apparently, much more interesting.

"Olivia?" Pinky began, tilting his head a little, the better to look into those stubborn, glossy eyes. "Class wasn't the same without you."

She sniffed, the tears began to fall, yet still she said nothing.

"Olivia...?" he inquired again, reaching out a soft paw and delicately tucking a finger underneath her chin, the better, of course, to tilt her head towards him. He smiled at her, a kindly, encouraging smile. "I'm here."

And the dam burst.

She threw herself into his arms, sobbing vehemently, as only a child can when they've been denied something incredibly important to them. Pinky hugged her right back, patting her back gently.

"Naaaaarf," her teacher cooed in his unusual way, rubbing her head. "Ohhhhh. Tell me all about it, hm?"

"M-My daddy... says I can't go to the Halloween party!" Olivia managed to choke out. "We always do everything together... when I'm not at school! B-But he said that... I can't go because... this is a party only for the adults." At this, she had to pause, for another torrential downpour threatened to burst, making her breath hitch. She was shaking so much that she'd shook her little tam-o-shanter right off her head. "I promise I'll be good! I won't even drink the alkaseltzer!"

She said this all so seriously, and anyone else might have stifled a snort at such an overly-dramatic display, as well as her incorrect pronunciation of "alcohol", but Pinky was not like other adults. He took Olivia's woes as gravely as if he'd just been delivered the news himself. After all, if he was uninvited to one of the coolest parties of the year, especially one he was to be the host of, he'd be pretty bummed out, too.

"Oh, Olivia...," he whimpered along with her, pulling the young girl back from his shoulder so as to address her properly, and felt his heart practically break at the sight of her crimson eyes. "I'm sure your dad would normally love to have you stay! After all, it's not a real party without Olivia." And he winked at her. That turned her frown upside down, if only for half a second. "I'd be really sad to not be invited to a party, too, ya' know."

"R-Really...?" the distraught little student hiccuped, wiping her eyes.

"Of course! But... you know something else?"

"What?"

"I'll bet some of the other kids are sad that they won't get to go to the party with their parents either. Like... Timothy and Cynthia. They can't go either, can they?"

Olivia shook her head.

"And you're the oldest, right?"

Yes.

"You know what that means, don't you?"

No.

"That means that you're in charge of making your own party!"

"You mean... we can have our own private party without the adults?"

"As long as Mrs. Brisby says it's okay. I'll put in a good word for you," Pinky promised. "Oh, and just between us...," and at this, he leaned in towards Olivia, cupping a hand to his mouth. Olivia extended an ear in interest. "I'm rather jealous I won't be able to attend yours. I'm sure it'll be way cooler."

At this, Olivia beamed.

"It'll be the best party you'll have never been to!"

And she picked up her hat from off the floor and slapped it down resolutely upon her furry little head, the redness of her eyes the only trace that she'd ever been crying at all. She spread her arms wide before hugging Pinky tight around the middle, nuzzling into his chest... and letting a few stray tears leak out in the process.

"Thank you, Mr. Pinky...," she whispered under her breath, and Pinky couldn't help but smile as he embraced her in return.

"You're welcome, Miss Olivia," he replied right back, booping her nose and waving after her as she ran off and around a corner.

Olivia's chipper exit was replaced by a much stiffer entrance in the form of Globetrotter, who stared after Olivia in judgement as he straightened a small stack of papers clutched in his grasp. This didn't phase Pinky in the least.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Brain!" he greeted him cheerfully, and for once, possibly the very first time for Pinky, Globetrotter actually smiled at him. Well, perhaps it was more of a smirk than a genuine grin, but Pinky accepted it either way. It was nice to see.

"Evening, my quixotic colleague," Globetrotter responded, his tone and inflection considerably more chipper than usual. "I take it you're excited for the festivities?"

"Ohhh, yes! Are you coming?" Pinky asked, as he stepped into his classroom. Globetrotter followed him to the door.

"I don't participate in such frivolities," said Globetrotter, hands tucked neatly behind his back and expression monotonous as he watched Pinky grab a tall ladder from the back of the classroom and position it underneath a dead light bulb. "You'll just have to survive without my presence."

Pinky tut tut tutted sadly as he picked out a fresh bulb from one of the desk drawers and made for the ladder.

"Not even for the punch, Brain?"

"It's Brian. Mr. Globetrotter, preferably. And, no, not even for what I'm sure will be... a delectable punch."

"Mmm. Shame," Pinky shrugged, as he popped the bulb in his mouth, clumsily climbed up the ladder, and carefully set down his bulb as he fixed to take out the old one. "I was rather looking forward to having you."

"You were?" Globetrotter asked, surprised. No one ever wanted him anywhere.

"Of course! Poit!" responded the other, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You were one of the first ones to welcome me when I came to the school, and you did so very well in my class!"

"That was... just a fluke," Globetrotter responded rather bashfully, averting his gaze a little.

"You're also the only other person who's still around at night when I go home late. It... makes me feel a little less lonely."

Globetrotter cocked an eyebrow at him curiously. He simply couldn't make heads or tails of this creature. Not only did he care about him for the stupidest, most meaningless reasons he could possibly concoct, he also saw him as an... equal. The very thought sent shivers up Globetrotter's spine. Never in his life would he put himself on the same pedestal as this nincompoop, not if he was paid to do it. Ronald Pinkus was beneath him in every way. And yet... there was something, dare he say it, wholesome about how he flat out refused to acknowledge any flaws in Brian what-so-ever, for flaws he had and plenty of them. This he knew, yet hated to admit. But he'd never met anyone who genuinely looked past them; who not only wasn't afraid to approach him, but sometimes purposely sought him out. It was... odd. Touching, but... odd.

He coughed uncomfortably.

"Yes, well... Maybe you should simply... retire earlier. There's more associates around before six o'clock."

"B-But I can't retire, Brain!" Pinky voiced worriedly, screwing in the new bulb, which popped a stale yellow as he wound it into place. "I just got here!"

"I meant rest. Perhaps you should go home earlier in the day, you... undeveloped fetus."

The insult flew right over Pinky's head to land somewhere in an empty corner, where no one else's ears could possibly pick it up. If anything, Pinky beamed at Globetrotter's response.

"Ohhhhhh! Well, that's different then, isn't it? But, oh, wait... No. No no, I couldn't possibly do that either. What about the students?"

"The students?"

"Yes, Brain! Don't your students ask to talk with you about their problems after class?" asked Pinky matter-of-factly, as he promptly descended the ladder, folded it up, and moved it back to its resting place. He hummed a very repetitive little tune as he did all this. Hm hm, hm hm, hm hmmmm. It was monotonous, yet curiously catchy, in a way.

"Noooooooo... Not usually. Sometimes they'll ask a question about a theory or mathematical equation, of course, but that's to be expected," he said, perhaps a bit haughtily as he checked over his fingernails. "I am not privy to the personal issues and well-being of my pupils. They keep to their business and I keep to mine. This is a school, not a therapist's office."

"It's not?"

Brain stared at him, giving him the most deadpan glare he could possibly muster.

"You are, without a doubt, the daftest individual I've ever met."

"Thank you, Brain," Pinky smiled, and he said it genuinely.

With a shake of the head, Brain stepped back out into the hallway, Pinky following.

"If you'll excuse me, I must return to my state of business," said he, and he began to walk away from room 210.

"Oh! Ummm... Brain?" Pinky asked, remaining by his door as he waved an eager hand towards his colleague.

Brain turned to look back at him, one eyebrow raised and hands once more tucked behind his back.

"Will you be eating dinner here at the school tonight?" he asked.

Globetrotter stared at him for a moment, nonplussed.

"Most likely. Why?"

"Would you like to join me in the cafeteria? I have something for yoouuuuu!"

Globetrotter considered this. Normally, his answer would be a firm and stalwart "NO", but perhaps it would work to his benefit. Being closer to Pinky would enable him to carry out his plan much faster and easier. The lanky teacher was such an unsuspecting ignoramus that he could probably finish the job Scott free, even in a public area. Heheh. Finish the job. Oh, it sounded so devious...

"Ccccertainly. Why not?" Globetrotter replied, smirking. "After all, you... have shown yourself to be a successful member of this institution. I suppose it's only fit to honor that with the occasional get-together."

"Oh, wonderful! Six o'clock then?" Pinky grinned, radiant as a firefly as he clapped his hands together rather childishly and bounced up and down on the balls of his feet.

"Yes. Six o'clock. Don't be late," Globetrotter warned, as he turned around to continue in his trek down the hall. He'd barely gotten another foot away from the excited Pinky, however, when he was called back once more.

"Oh! Brain?"

He looked back, a rather miffed expression pulling at his face. If that nitwit mispronounced his name one more time...

"Thank you," said Pinky in a soft voice as he hid his hands behind his back rather bashfully.

"Don't mention it," Globetrotter responded dryly. "It's just a lunch."

"No no. I mean... for the compliment. You really think I'm a success...?"

He said it so sincerely that Globetrotter almost felt sorry for him. Almost...

"Sure," lied his tongue. "You've certainly proved to be of... some worth."

In truth, it was only a partial fabrication. He had shown himself to be successful, if you considered babysitting a bunch of toddlers lucrative. In Globetrotter's eyes, the bumbling professor, if he was even laudable enough to be called that, was only popular from a superficial standpoint - he was likable, he was approachable, he was, as the girls disgustingly called him, "hot", and he was easy-going with children. In short, he was a celebrity, not a teacher. Whatever credentials he did obtain were worthless to someone of Globetrotter's stature; anyone who charmed their way into so highly prestigious of an establishment didn't deserve to hold a position there in the first place. He was enough of a threat to consider ousting due to his fame as a personality, but from an educational angle he posed no competition; at least, not in Globetrotter's eyes. And so he threw him a bone, more as a cover-up than anything, but he didn't expect him to take it so... consolingly. It made him a little uncomfortable.

"Thank you," Pinky said again, beaming. "You've... been the only one to tell me that. Well, at least here anyway. Eheh. Poit..."

Globetrotter frowned at the verbal tick. Few questioned it, aside from the occasional student who ventured to ask what "zort" or "narf" meant. Globetrotter simply took it as a medical condition and left it at that. He'd rather assume as such than entertain the thought that that sorry excuse of a teacher actually enjoyed spewing such nonsense, but, then again, he wouldn't be surprised.

He also frowned at the admittance, somewhat in surprise. Had none of the other teachers thrown him a kind word? Surely they must have. He knew they had, in fact, for he'd overheard their compliments, both in Pinky's presence and not. Most liked him, and those who didn't simply felt sorry for him. At least they'd had some sense to not outright call him a success, because he certainly was not that when it came to earning a place as a professional in the university.

"Just keep doing what you're doing and I'm sure you'll be fine," he spat, perhaps a little too harshly. Pinky noticed not. "You've undoubtedly shown yourself to be popular."

"Oh, not as popular as you, Brain! I'm sure you're still one of the best teachers in the whole school!"

At this, Globetrotter smiled.

"To that I flagrantly concur, my good fellow. To that, I flagrantly concur," grinned the science professor, and he said it so deviously that, if he'd uttered it to any other teacher, they would have flogged him where he stood.

/\/\/\/\/\/\

4:47 PM

Globetrotter clicked on the little green banker's desk lamp that sat on his table. It cast a dim, yellow glow across the mahogany surface, illuminating papers, calculators, a coffee mug, and a gel pen - an expensive one. Rolling in the combination to the lock on his briefcase, he pushed in on the lock buttons, to which the case satisfyingly clicked open. Out of it he pulled: a pair of gloves, some odd-looking tools, a computer chip, a bottle of Aspirin, and a very small, round device that appeared to be magnetic in construction. Indeed, from an outsider's perspective, it looked to be nothing more than one of those tiny black magnets that one stuck to their fridge to pin up such things as receipts and shopping lists. Quite unassuming.

The middle-aged mouse laid out the chip, magnet, and tools, pulled on his gloves with a sharp snap, and got to work. For twenty minutes he tinkered with the device. It was delicate work, requiring much precision, but he reveled in it. Occasionally, his ponderings wandered to, of all things, Ronald Pinkus - how quixotic he was; how precariously he'd climbed up that rickety ladder. Shame he didn't break his neck, Globetrotter thought. Would have made my job much easier...

At 5:10 PM, he stood up from his chair, learned towards his desk lamp, and, with the little magnet pinched between his fingers, held it up to the lamp.

Snap.

It attached to the lamp's outer surface as if it was made to rest there. Globetrotter smirked. Pulling off the magnet, he opened up a side drawer and tested it out on a steel tape dispenser. It worked there, too. The magnet hugged it tightly. Globetrotter pulled it off, nodded satisfactorily, and pocketed it. Of course, this was only half of the test. It would only prove itself after applied.

"Oh, you beautiful little Polarizer," he mumbled fondly, actually kissing the device as he held it securely between his fingers. "Make me proud!"

/\/\/\/\/\/\

6:05 PM

He was late. Of course he was late.

Globetrotter tapped his fingers on a cafeteria table impatiently, checking his watch every now and then, even though there was a clock literally right above him, attached to a pole near the entrance of the meeting area. If there was anything that boiled his bottles more than almost anything else, it was tardiness. There was no excuse for irresponsibility.

The cafeteria was completely devoid of life, save for a few straggling servers behind the counter, the janitors, Jak and Gus, and Globetrotter himself. One thing rather noteworthy, if not a tad bit odd, about Acme School of Arts and Sciences was that all classes generally ended at 5:00 PM. The founder of the university had been strict about the doors closing early so as both school personnel and students had ample time to spend in the evenings with their family and friends, as well as have extra time to commit to homework. It was a rule that was still upheld to this day. Some professors, of course, still stayed past "curfew", mostly to attend to extra duties and grading during the quiet evenings, and even then none of them, save for Globetrotter, and now Pinky, ever lingered past 6:00 PM. The one exception was the theater kids - their rehearsals sometimes went until 7:00 or even 8:00 PM. It was the only reason the cafeteria stayed open until 7:00, and even then it was rare to find anyone at a table this late.

Globetrotter welcomed the silence, of course. It was a time for pondering; a time for planning. But he had no patience for late-comers.

He had half a mind to just get up and leave right then and there when in swooped the Trozologist, waving as he headed in a rush towards his cafe buddy.

"Phew! So sorry I'm late, Brain!" he sighed, flopping down into a chair, a bit too close for Globetrotter's liking. He scooted to the side a few paces. "Mrs. Brisby and I got to talking about cooking and, well, the time just ran away with me! Ha-ha! Zort!"

"Yes... I'm sure it did," Globetrotter groaned, not at all amused. "Are you going to refresh yourself?" he asked. He was already on his third cup of coffee and about to get primed for a fourth.

Pinky looked around at this, concerned, before focusing his attention back on Globetrotter.

"Um... In public, Brain?"

Globetrotter's response was a deep, planted facepalm. What an absolute boob.

"The drinks, you ignoramus. The drinks! Are you doing to get a drink?!"

"Pfff. Well, why didn't you say so, Brain?" Pinky chuckled, rolling his eyes and standing right back up again. "Oh! I almost forgot. This is for you."

And he set down in front of Globetrotter a very pretty, very lovingly wrapped little present that, somehow, he hadn't noticed before. He stared at it rather worriedly, as if it might explode.

"Well, go ahead, silly!" Pinky encouraged him, nudging him forward with a nod of the head.

"Th-Thank you," Globetrotter said, not quite sure how to respond. He unwrapped it with delicate fingers, loosening first the decorative red bow tied about the box, then carefully undoing the rose-patterned ivory paper underneath. Inside was a dark green box with a lid on it. He slipped off the lid, peered inside, and pulled out...

"For you!" Pinky exclaimed happily. "Do you like it?"

It was a black coffee mug, with the words 'Best Teacher Ever!' written in white upon the front. It was quite a nice mug, despite the ridiculous phrase - snug in his hands and smooth to the touch. He was equal parts flattered that Pinky had recognized his fondness for coffee and embarrassed that it was that apparent.

"Thank you...," he answered awkwardly. He'd probably have to blot out the text later. Being associated with anything that generic churned his stomach. But he did like the mug. "I... needed a new one."

"Now you can use it with your new coffee maker!"

"You bought that for me...?"

"Of course! Who else would I buy it for?" blurted out Pinky, rolling his eyes. "I mean, everyone can use it, but... I ordered it for you really."

To this, Globetrotter could only stare disbelievingly. He swallowed thickly. What... was with this mouse?! Buying him a mug. Saying he made him less lonely at night. Ordering a coffee maker just so he could enjoy his days a bit more? No one was this nice. Surely, there was some ulterior motive.

"What's the catch...?" he asked, looking serious. There was always a catch. Always.

"Catch, Brain?" inquired Pinky, cocking his head in confusion. "Um... I haven't caught anything lately, Brain. Unless you count this fish," he said, and he pulled out of his pocket an actual, live minnow in a small jar filled with water. "Hellooooo, Jerry!" said Pinky... to the fish. "I caught him in the lake this morning! Still need to buy him a tank, though. Don't I, Jerry?"

Globetrotter simply stared at him, nonplussed, his mouth hanging open a little.

"Go on! Back you go!" said Pinky, tucking the little minnow back into his pocket and smiling at Globetrotter happily as if he hadn't just pulled a live fish out of his coat. "Oh! That's right. Drinks! Aren't you going to get yours, Brain?"

And off he trotted, heading in the direction of the cafeteria to grab, as usual, an odd assortment of foods and a drink. Globetrotter nervously looked behind him at Pinky, as if he might set fire to something... or pull a bazooka out of his pants... or... something. At this point, he didn't know what to expect from this mouse, and he wasn't sure he wanted to. Perhaps he was biting off more than he could chew...

But no. He shook his head at the thought. Pinkus was simply an idiot. A kind... thoughtful... very sweet idiot... But an idiot nonetheless. And no amount of good deeds was going to stop him in his plot. Nevertheless, he supposed it wouldn't hurt to at least try out the mug. He highly doubted it was bugged.

One mug of coffee, and a tray of assorted foods... plus a cup of Sprite, later, and Pinkus and Globetrotter were back at the table, the former laden down with treats, the latter content with his single, fourth serving of Italian Roast. Pinky helped himself eagerly to a sprinkle doughnut, offering Globetrotter a bite as he chewed happily.

"No, thank you. Bad for my... thighs," Globetrotter uttered lamely.

Pinky shrugged and finished off the tasty confection before diving into another. Globetrotter blew on his coffee before taking a tentative sip. It was good. Rich, flavorful, with a bite at its closure. And his lips conformed nicely about the mug. Yes, he liked this mug. Not that he'd ever say that out loud or anything.

For once, Pinky wasn't talking; so preoccupied with a sugar doughnut was he. Normally, Globetrotter would have welcomed this silence, but he'd gotten so used to Pinky always being a chatterbox whenever he was around him (which, admittedly, wasn't terribly often) that he felt... a little uncomfortable not making conversation, strangely.

"So, um...," he began, in a lame attempt to deaden the silence. "What is your opinion on asymptotic analysis?"

"Hm?" Pinky inquired, eyes wide and cheeks bulging with a mouthful of doughnut as he smiled puffily at Globetrotter.

Too complicated. He's not going to understand that, you moron. Globetrotter floundered. He wasn't good at this. Small talk was not one of his strong points.

"Um... chaos theory?"

Pinky swallowed.

"Ohhh! You mean like in Jurassic Park?"

"What?"

"Well, that's what Ian Malcolm always talked about. Chaos theory! Although, personally, I liked Ellie Sattler more. Laura Dern is such a good actress and I loved her in Rambling Rose! She was actually Spielberg's first choice for the role in Jurassic Park, did you know?"

He said all this as he grabbed a bottle of ketchup and mustard each and squirted their contents all over a hotdog he'd set in a bun. At the word "such" he'd given a very feminine wave of the hand that Globetrotter highly disapproved of.

"I did not know," Globetrotter replied, taking a dainty sip of his coffee.

"She also auditioned for the role of Clarice in Silence of the Lambs, but I really do think Jodie Foster was a more appropriate selection. She's quite versatile. I heard she's looking to get back into the directing field soon..."

And on and on he went, sometimes speaking between bites, other times continuing on with a mouthful of food, his thick mumbles so incomprehensible that Globetrotter could only catch a "George Lucas" here and a "Princess Bride" there. It was downright humorous to him that this mouse, who knew so little about the subjects upon which this school was founded, was incredibly versed in filmography. Then again, he supposed it was only appropriate, considering the flamboyant showman that he was. And this was a school of sciences and arts, after all. But then, why hadn't he majored in theater? Trozology, whatever it was, seemed a waste of time.

"You seem to know a lot about cinema," Globetrotter voiced, finally able to find a break in the conversation after a solid ten minutes. The entire time, he'd covertly tried to roam about Pinky's attire with a sharp gaze, looking for anything magnetic he could possibly attach his device to. He eventually settled on Pinky's name tag. Of course. They all sported one, and they were made of metal. If he could somehow stick it on the back...

"Oh, I love the arts!" Pinky responded, clasping his hands together and batting his eyes dreamily. "All the movie magic and the passion and the creativity...!"

"Pinky, might I... see your badge for a moment? Only there's a nasty blemish on it. I... certainly wouldn't want you to walk around with a dirty tag."

"Why, thank you, Brain. How thoughtful of you."

And he unpinned his badge from his coat and handed it to Globetrotter. It was as simple as that.

"So, if you're so into the arts then why didn't you become an actor... or something?" Globetrotter stalled, as his right hand poked about in his jacket pocket to ensure that the magnet was still there. It was. He plucked it out, hiding it in his right hand as he pretended to rub at a spot on the badge with the end of his coat, surreptitiously planting the little magnet on the back of the badge as he did so. Piece of cake.

"Oh, I was going to, Brain! Narf! But I found something else I love much more...," he said, resting a cheek on his left hand as he gazed off into space, a toothy grin curled about his visage.

"Trozology?"

"Mmhm."

"What is Trozology?"

"You don't know, Brain? It's the study o-"

But at that moment, the cafeteria doors burst open to reveal a very angry set indeed: Dex, followed close behind by Maisy, Marvell, Gadget, Tillie, and one other boy rat whom Pinky didn't recognize. Dex and Maisy were shouting at the top of their lungs, oblivious to the few stragglers lingering about the room.

"-never messed with your business before! I know it's important to you. Why do you think I gave you your space?!" Dex yelled at his sister, a plethora of expressive hand gestures complementing his outburst.

"You never 'gave me my space', Dex. You're always hanging out after my classes; checking in on me when I'm trying to relax. How is that 'giving me my space'?!"

"Oh, man. Um. Lemme think. Maybe it's because... I care about you?!"

"Maisy, come on. He's taken a lot of hits for you," Gadget said, stepping forward.

"Oh, like, grade hits? Detention? You'd know a lot about hits, wouldn't you, Dex?"

"Girl, come on. Maisy's right," Marvell uttered, also stepping up. "You're laying it on too hard."

"YOU WANNA TAKE HER SIDE?! THEN FINE! I know you care more about her and Dex than me!"

"I didn't say that!" Marvell countered, looking hurt.

"This is about Mom, isn't it?! You don't know ANYTHING about taking hits!" Maisy practically screamed at Dex, advancing towards him with the ferocity of a tyrannosaurus, causing him to back up with every step she took.

None of them had yet seen Globetrotter and Pinky off to the side, and the janitors stayed as silent as the mice they were from a shaded corner. Pinky looked on the verge of standing up to intervene, but Globetrotter, surprisingly, put out a hand to stop him.

"It's not about Mom! It's... about everything!" Dex choked out. "And don't tell me that I don't know anything about taking hits, Maisy! You don't know the half of it..."

"The hell do you mean about that?" Maisy softened up, but only for a moment. She turned swiftly 'round to glare at her friends. "THE HELL DOES HE MEAN?!"

All of them shuffled about awkwardly, looking embarrassed. Gadget rubbed at her arm, and Marvell bit her lip suspiciously, gaze firmly planted to the floor. But the boy rat looked the most broken of all, and it was him that Maisy targeted.

"What does he mean, Red?"

Red directed his eyes downward, his ears appropriately turning the color of his namesake.

"What does he mean?!"

"I... I promised I wouldn't say, Mais!" he sputtered out, a paw coming up to rub at a sore spot on the back of his head.

"Dex?!" Maisy spat, rounding back on her brother.

"You attend this school just as much as me. You should be smart enough to figure it out," Dex replied, and with that he walked off towards an exit on the opposite end of the cafeteria, purposely ignoring his sister's pleas.

"Tell me what you mean, Dex!"

No response.

"DEX! Tell me what you mean!"

It was as she started crying that Pinky finally made his presence known... via slipping off his chair. It clattered down with its owner, the noise echoing loudly off the walls and pulling every eye in the vicinity towards him. Globetrotter jumped and glared at Pinky.

"O-Oh! Ummm...," Pinky stammered, standing up in a flash and ringing the end of his coat in his hands awkwardly.

Maisy's cheeks turned bright pink. She full out burst into tears as she turned tail and ran back into the hallway, her friends casting one last embarrassed look at the teachers before sprinting off after her, occasionally calling her name.

Pinky swallowed thickly. Globetrotter sighed, long and exhausted, through his nose.

"Why did you stop me, Brain?" Pinky queried, dusting off his coat and propping his chair back up.

"Because sometimes people just need to talk, Pinky," Globetrotter said, slapping the now tampered with badge back on the table for Pinky to take, which he did, pining it on his jacket, none the wiser.

"I don't think that was talking, Brain. That was more like... screaming."

"Well, people need to scream sometimes, too," Globetrotter nipped, draining the last bits of coffee from his mug and heading towards the sink to wash it out. Pinky followed him, demolished tray of food and empty soda cup in hand.

"Have you screamed sometimes, Brain...?" Pinky asked delicately as he tossed his trash and replaced the tray.

Globetrotter didn't answer right away. He looked thoughtful as he washed out his cup.

"Sometimes...," he finally responded, shaking the mug to rid it of the last few droplets of water.

"Were you hurting then, too?"

Another pause. Globetrotter stepped over to a paper towel dispenser, ripping off a piece to dry his cup with.

"Yes."

Globetrotter looked curiously over at Pinky, whose ears had drooped so low that he looked more like a lop rabbit than a mouse. He actually made to step forward, but Globetrotter, already smelling some form of physical affection, backed up, a hand raised in protest.

"Save your pity."

"I'm sorry, Brain. Poit..," Pinky whispered, and he truly was.

"It's fine," replied Globetrotter.

There was an awkward pause, in which neither of them spoke for a solid ten seconds, Globetrotter running a finger along the ring of his new mug, Pinky shuffling his feet uncomfortably.

"I... really should be going. Thank you for the mug. It's... good," Globetrotter ended lamely.

"You're welcome," Pinky said, the smallest of smiles crawling up his face. "Thank you, too."

"For what?"

"Sitting with me."

Globetrotter blinked. It was as if heaven itself was shining a spotlight on him, throwing every opportunity at him to find compassion for this mouse and feel guilty for what he'd done. Well, they'll have to try harder than that, Globetrotter thought. He wasn't going to relent that easily. And, in the most monotonous tone he could muster, he responded with a simple:

"Mmhm."

But the smile stayed. It took a lot, it seemed, to completely break Pinky.

/\/\/\/\/\/\

October 7th, 1993 - 4:02 PM

One of the first things Globetrotter noticed about his brilliant Polarizer, once it had been planted on Pinky, was that... it didn't work. At least, it didn't work on children. Said device had one purpose and one purpose only: redirection. From it a frequency was emitted that affected anyone within five feet of Pinky telepathically. They would be suddenly and inexplicably hit with a desire to preoccupy themselves with some other activity and, as such, never engage in interaction with Pinky for more than a few seconds. As long as he wore the name tag, he couldn't be touched. Poof. His newfound popularity would come to a screeching halt, no one would converse with him ever again, and he'd have no choice but to leave the school, friendless and jobless, leaving Globetrotter back on top as the most notable individual in the school. Or, at least, that's what it was supposed to do.

But it didn't. As usual, Olivia, Timothy, and Cynthia, along with Teresa and one or two others, were at Pinky's classroom at four o'clock sharp the next day, Evinrude arriving twenty minutes later (for the snacks only, of course). The day after that there was an actual line of kids standing outside the door fifteen minutes early, waiting to get in, and the day after that the line was even longer. Globetrotter could only assume that there was some fault in the hardware. But he'd tested it out on himself an hour before he'd met up with Pinky and it had worked just fine then. What was the problem? Perhaps it simply just didn't work on kids, for some reason. But that couldn't be right... Teresa was one of the college students in the school and it didn't work on her either, nor on any teacher that approached Pinky. Strange. He'd have to get the device back and tinker with it some more, he supposed. Not that that would be much of a problem. Considering how easily he'd obtained it last time, snatching it back, he figured, would be a breeze. He decided to simply wait for the right opportunity and nab it back.

Whereas Globetrotter's experiment had failed, Olivia's had gone above and beyond; in fact, it had practically skyrocketed. She now had a total of 271 signatures on her petition, an overwhelming success, in the eyes of her and Pinky. Pinky said that they had enough to approach the principal with. There was just one little problem: to ask the principal to pass their petition, that meant they had to, well, talk to the principal, something no one ever wanted to do. There was only one person in the entire school who wasn't afraid of him, that person being Globetrotter, and even he avoided the angry little maniac as much as possible. Pinky wasn't entirely averse to approaching the headmaster, mainly because he'd simply never met the guy, although there was still a lingering feeling of trepidation due to how unfavorable people talked about him. But he wasn't going to let that stop him. Olivia's petition needed to be signed off on, and he was going to do everything in his power to see that it did!

And so, that afternoon, directly after class, the hallways of Acme School of Arts and Sciences found Pinky marching down the hallway, Olivia's hand in his, as he and his student headed for the principal's office.

They stopped outside the door. Was it just their imagination, or did it feel a bit colder down this part of the hallway? It was a rather darker portion of the school - not as many offices and classes were down here, some of the lights had blown out and hadn't yet been fixed, and the office was situated right in the center of a long strip of hallway, making it the furthest away from the windows. The place simply had a... foreboding atmosphere about it.

Olivia nuzzled closer to Pinky. He smiled and squeezed her hand comfortingly.

"Put on your helmet, Olivia."

"Like on our imaginary trip into the caves?" Olivia whispered, wide-eyed.

"Mmhm."

Resolute, Olivia let go of Pinky's hand and situated her tam-o-shanter more snuggly atop her head.

"Okay. Let's go fight the dragon," said she.

Pinky knocked on the door - once, twice, three times...

"Come in..," came a voice from the other side. It sounded pleasant enough, but there was something a little... off about it; a sprinkle of deviance behind the honey-suckle tone.

Pinky opened the door.

The inside of this room was, if possible, even darker than the hallway. Like Globetrotter, the headmaster owned a green banker's desk lamp, albeit two instead of one, each on opposite sides of a dark black table, and it served as the only lighting in the entire vicinity. Besides a plethora of books encased in rich wooden shelving behind him, a couple of comfortable chairs spread about, a trash can, a blackboard, and a television in a far corner opposite the principal, the room was surprisingly plain. The most interesting thing about it was a standing globe of the world, one of those expensive ones that twirled around and had little red lights on it that clicked on to highlight various hot spots on the map as you spun it. Olivia liked those. She had an overwhelming desire to spin it, but was too scared to ask, especially seeing as the globe was literally right next to the principal's desk. The further away she could be from him, the better.

"Come in, my children, come in! Oh, do come closer to the desk. You expect an old hamster such as myself to see you properly from that far away?" the principal beckoned. He sat in a very tall, very black chair behind the ebony desk. Unlike the uniform layout of the room, he appeared quite relaxed. A little too relaxed, perhaps. He was reclining, bare feet up on the desk, and decked out in a comfortable-looking brown suit and pants set, complete with checkered tie. He looked as if he ruled the world, and the smirk on his face as he smoked from a thick, piping cigar only cemented this.

Pinky didn't think he looked that old - fifty, maybe? Around the same age as Brain. But he also didn't want to be disrespectful, and so he moved tepidly forward, his steps more of a shuffle than a walk, Olivia sliding along a couple paces behind him. Now that she was actually in the room, she didn't feel quite so brave.

"I hear you've arranged something of a party," the golden hamster addressed Pinky. "I must say, I'm quite intrigued. We haven't had an employees-only gathering in four years! I'm impressed you managed to pull it off."

"Th-Thank you, Headmaster," Pinky mumbled.

"Please. Call me Snowball," the hamster said gentlemanly, holding up a hand. "No need for formalities. And who might you be?" he asked Olivia, leaning over a little, the better to see her.

"O-O-Olivia, Sir."

"Olivia. You know, the name 'Olivia' comes from the word 'olive'. The olive tree is a symbol of peace and fertility, something we all hope to breed in this school. Fertile minds; obedient pupils. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Y-Yes, Sir," Olivia agreed, although, privately, she didn't understand what he was getting at at all.

"Please, Mr. Snowball, we've come to you with a request," Pinky interrupted, holding up the petition.

"Oh?" Snowball answered, cocking an eyebrow as he took a long, steady swig from the cigar and blew out an impressive ring. Olivia watched it float around the room, intrigued despite herself. It collided upon the chalkboard and disintegrated in a soft huff.

"It's a petition for a new baseball stadium," Pinky continued, holding out the paper for Snowball to take, which he did, looking it over without much interest. "We got two hundred and seventy-one signatures! I... hope that's enough?"

Only now did Pinky realize that he was twisting his tail in his paws something terrible, leaving little creases in it. He stopped immediately. Olivia had been biting at her fingernails. She also stopped as soon as she saw Pinky do so.

"So... you want me... to sign off on this?" Snowball asked, tossing a rather deadpan look in Pinky's direction.

Pinky gulped.

"Is that... all right? A lot of your students would love to have this back on the grounds! You'd be able to develop a team to compete with the other schools. We could win trophies and good sports reputation!"

"And it would be a P.E. class to add to your curriculum," Olivia added. Pinky smiled at her, impressed.

"Yes! Absolutely!"

"Hmph. You think people would go for this drivel? Two hundred signatures from a pool of three thousand is hardly enough to turn heads," he retorted, setting the petition down on the desk and pushing it towards them so hard that Pinky was thankful he was able to catch it before it clattered to the floor. "I must say, I'm not very impressed."

"B-But, it would do wonders for the school!" Pinky pleaded. "And Miss Olivia here worked so hard to get all the signatures. Didn't you, Olivia?"

"Yes, I did," she admitted, suddenly a bit bolder. Fight the dragon. Fight the dragon. "And you shouldn't be so retorshical. All the other schools have sports teams!"

Pinky gave her a side glance. Too far. Too far...

Olivia licked her lips, in-taking a deep breath for her next burn.

"I think you're scared."

And she put her hands on her hips, the better to complete the effect.

Pinky bit his lip. Olivia...

Snowball frowned. Slipping his feet off the table, he leaned fully forward over his desk, his face mere feet from Olivia's, and growled into her face: "I'm scared of nothing."

Olivia had closed one eye at this, the better to block out the dragon's harsh stare... and rancid breath. He even smoked like a dragon. But she stayed resolute.

"Then prove it!"

"Um... M-Mr. Snowball, if I may...?" Pinky barged in, desperate to fan the flames. It was bad enough she'd poked the dragon's eye in his own cave. They didn't need the fire, too. "Perhaps there's something... we could do for you in return? As a trade?"

That settled Snowball a little. He sat back in his chair, slightly amused.

"Hmph. What could you possibly offer to me?"

"Well, um... A special spot in the party, perhaps? Or a gift...? N-Narf..."

"No...," Snowball replied, waving it off and taking another smoke from his cigar.

"A... ticket to Disneyland?" Olivia offered helpfully.

"Pass."

"A... um... coupon for the world's biggest che-"

"Wait... Wait," Snowball said, cutting Pinky off. "The party, you said... Who's coming to the party?"

"Oh, um, everyone!" Pinky smiled nervously.

"Almost everyone...," Olivia mumbled under her breath, crossing her arms indignantly, but Pinky gave her a look that very clearly told her to shush or else.

"Will Globetrotter be there?"

"You mean Brain?" Pinky asked. "Oh... No, I don't think so. I invited him, but he... said he wouldn't make it."

"Brain? You call him Brain? Ha-ha!" Snowball laughed, actually clutching his chest as he reeled back in his chair. "Ha-ha! Ohhh, that's rich. I'll bet he just loves that."

Poor Pinky and Olivia didn't know what to say. They tried to laugh along, but it only came out sounding unbearably awkward, and so they stopped.

"My good fellow, you've convinced me. I'll sign your insipid little petition."

"Really?!" Pinky and Olivia bother spurted out at once, hardly daring to believe their ears.

"On one condition: Get dear 'Brain' to come to the party. It's been an age since I've seen him, you see, and I'd love to... catch up on things, as it were. Do that, and your stadium is as good as built."

Pinky and Olivia looked at one another. Convincing the most stubborn individual in the school to attend Pinky's party when he clearly wasn't interested wasn't going to be easy, but they'd come this far. Surely, they could try again... and again, if they had to? Wasn't the school worth that? Weren't the students worth it?

"Do we have a deal?" Snowball pressed them, a nasty smirk upon his sour face.

Olivia nodded at Pinky. Pinky nodded back. He looked Snowball straight in the eye.

"Deal," said Pinky.

"Deal," said Olivia.

And they shook hands with him, Snowball squeezing down a little too tightly.

"We have a bargain. I look forward to seeing him at the party. Hm hm. Brain. Ha! Oh, how positively affluent."

And they left him as such, cigar in hand, laughing his head off like an absolute maniac.

/\/\/\/\/\/\

7:24 PM

Dr. Brian T. Globetrotter snapped shut his weighted briefcase. He exited his classroom, shut the door, and locked it, as he always did. Another night; another opportunity to work in the lab. While he hadn't managed to get his magnet back, he'd certainly attended to other projects that required his attention. There was one he'd been quite eager to finish for some weeks. Tonight was the night.

Professor Ronald Pinkus opened his classroom door, but did not exit. Students first. A young boy mole stepped out of the classroom, his face still a little wet, but a smile tickling his face. He shuffled out into the hallway, Pinky and Olivia following him.

"Thank you, Mr. Pinkus," the diminutive mole said gratefully. "I wish my mom would listen to me like you do."

"Think nothing of it. Come by whenever you need to talk, okay?"

"Thank you, Sir." And, shyly, he stepped up and hugged him round the middle. "Please don't ever leave."

"I won't if I can help it, Toby," promised Pinky. "Promise."

"Come on, Toby! We're late!" Olivia kindly signaled. At the end of the hallway, Mrs. Judson stood waiting for them.

With a last squeeze, Toby parted and waved good-bye, keeping his eyes on Pinky until he turned the corner and was lost from sight. Pinky continued waving, even after his student had disappeared. He smiled warmly and sighed, deeply and satisfactorily. Closing his classroom door, he walked down the hallway... and stopped as he heard the familiar ding of the elevator. He turned in the direction of the noise, blinking. This was the fourth time he'd caught Brain staying up late to do... whatever it was he did behind that wall in the basement. He'd been too nervous to follow him the last couple of times, seeing as he'd almost been caught initially, but... perhaps it couldn't hurt to take another peek?

Two minutes later saw a pair of loosely-tied sneakers tip-toeing down the stairwell, heading covertly in the direction of the basement. He stuck his nose around the corner. No sign of him. Already, Globetrotter had gained access into the secret lab, oblivious to the intruder whom had followed him to his private dungeon. Carefully, he stepped towards the wall where he knew a hidden panel rested. Had he been a bit more observant, he might have noticed something following him this time - a camera, set high up in a far corner of the hall, small enough to not draw too much attention to itself, yet following his every move all the same.

Pinky pressed an ear up to the wall, listening intently. He didn't even bother with the panel this time; he knew it wouldn't open for him. Sure enough, he heard clinking and clanking and the occasional typing of what sounded like computer keys echoing through the room beyond, barely audible, but still within his range of hearing.

"Naughty naughty, Brain," Pinky whispered to himself. "What are you doing back there...?"

Suddenly, the noises stopped. No clinking. No clanking. No typing of keys. Pinky froze. He pressed his ear ever harder to the door. Last time this happened, he'd been able to pick up the tell-tale sign of footsteps heading for the door, but this time he heard nothing. Perhaps Brain had sat down to read a book? He almost stopped breathing, listening as hard as he possibly could...

HISSSS!

Without any warning, the door slid open, Pinky giving way as he fell to the ground, one half of his body inside the lab, the other half still laying out in the basement hallway.

"AH-HA! So it was you!" Globetrotter exclaimed, his anger unmistakable as he grabbed Pinky by the shirt collar and, with surprising strength, tossed him full on into the room, the door sliding shut behind him.

Pinky shuffled up onto his feet in haste and backed up towards the opposite wall, slamming into a metallic shelving unit full of jars, beakers, and other unusual things he couldn't put a name to. Globetrotter was advancing towards him, looking positively livid as he brandished what looked to be an X-Acto knife at him. Forget Snowball. He could handle that. This was terrifying.

"Completely innocent. HA! I knew you were up to something as soon as I saw that pencil outside my door last week. What are you after? What concoction of mine have you been looking to pilfer?!"

"I-I..! N-Nothing, Brain! I didn't even know about this place until last week! Honest!"

"HA! A likely tale. For all I know, you could have known about this lab since you got here; perhaps even applied because of your knowledge of this facility. Are you a spy? A NASA scientist? Who are you working for?!"

By this point, he was full on in Pinky's personal bubble, a hand practically choking Pinky by the tie as he brandished the X-Acto knife under his chin threateningly. Poor Pinky was near tears.

"I'm not a spy! Honest, Brain! Really I'm not! Please don't turn me into mince meat!" he begged, holding his hands up to shield his face as best he could, a near impossibility, seeing as Globetrotter was so invasive. Nevertheless, the rabid teacher loosened his grip a little.

"You swear you didn't know about this place until recently...?"

"Mmhm!" Pinky nodded fervently, his face full on wet, eyes shut tight as he tried, and failed, to keep the tears at bay.

"Hmph..." Brain conceded, grip loosening further. Well... fine. But don't touch anything! Understand?"

Another fervent nod, eyes still closed, and Globetrotter released him. Pinky clutched at his neck, gasping for breath as he rubbed at the spot where the tie had pulled on him. He rubbed at his eyes, the better to wipe away his pitiful tears.

"Wh-What is this place...?" he choked out, still catching his breath.

"My laboratory," Globetrotter replied stiffly, hopping into his computer chair and proceeding to continue in his voracious typing. "Don't touch anything."

Pinky nodded, even though Globetrotter couldn't see him. Don't touch anything. Already, he wanted very much to tickle the top of a very brown, very fuzzy-looking object sitting on a shelf near the entrance, but he honored Globetrotter's request. He didn't say he couldn't look at anything, however, and so Pinky looked, eyes wide in astonishment as he meandered about the strange facility.

It wasn't a terribly large area, but what he'd managed to fit inside of it was impressive. There were shelves of bottles, papers, strange electrical appliances, various scientific and artistic tools, rows and rows of books, and two computers, one of which Globetrotter was currently working at. A ghostly green glow hung from a double row of long lights recessed into the ceiling above, the emerald hue occasionally peppered with a soft, yellow light from a table lamp here or there. Even in this room Brain had to have his mahogany, it seemed, that being reserved for the bookshelf. But the most intriguing item in the room, by far, was a large, bubbling... something. It looked somewhat like a giant beaker, albeit a bit more bulbous, and with long tubes branching off here or there, like the stretched arms of a huge, metallic octopus. Inside bubbled some greenish concoction. Pinky wondered what it was, and tapped at the glass curiously.

"I said don't touch anything," Globetrotter warned without turning his head.

"Oh. Sorry...," Pinky apologized, taking a step back. "What is it?"

"It's for my latest plan."

"W-What plan is that, Brain?"

Brain sighed, pushed himself away from the desk, and stood up out of his rolling chair to stare at Pinky.

"If I tell you, you must solemnly swear not to spread a word about this to anyone," he breathed threateningly. If Pinky really was as big of an idiot as he appeared, he'd actually keep his mouth shut and not tell the authorities. Strangely, he was probably the only individual in the entire school whom he could trust to keep quiet. Knowing someone this daft had its perks, he supposed.

Pinky nodded and raised a hand, as if taking an oath.

"I promise, Brain!"

"Hmph. Fine. I'm planning... to take over the world!"

He said this in a flourish, hands raised in ecstasy. Pinky wouldn't have been surprised if lightning had shot out of nowhere at such a forward gesture. He'd never seen Brain this passionate before.

"The... whole world, Brain?" Pinky gasped, incredulous.

"Of course," the scientist replied, tucking his hands behind his back. "This Earth has been in a state of turmoil for years. With my genius intellect and general prowess, I'd be able to make it a better place - create a richer, more fulfilling existence for people to live in."

"Ohhhhhh! You mean like charity work! Right, Brain? Better places for people to live and all that? Good food; warm homes; happy little children playing in the yard with their puppies!" Pinky voiced, hands clasped together against his cheek as he grinned widely at the thought. "Oh! And better school systems! And no more people getting hurt. And plenty of money for everyone!"

"Why, yes, Pinky, that's... exactly what I'm talking about. With... the occasional adjustment here or there, of course."

"Like what?"

"Oh, you know... A specific rule set for people to abide by. Recognizing me as their leader. World peace. That sort of thing..."

"Sooooo... sponsorship then?"

"Um. Sure... If... that's what you want to see it as."

"Well, I think that's just wonderful, Brain!"

"Y-You do...?"

"Well, of course!" Pinky continued, prancing about the room now, not at all shy about toying with a test tube or a Newton's cradle. For once, Brain didn't stop him. "We all could use a better place to live in! Peace and love for everyone! That's what I teach every day, Brain."

"Do you?"

"Of course. If I'd known about this place earlier I would have supported you a long time ago! Although, I don't know why you have to hide it all down here. Don't you want everyone to know what good you're planning on doing for the Earth?" Pinky asked, shrugging confusedly.

"U-Uhm... Well, it has to be a secret. If anyone knew about this, they'd... probably try to stop me," Globetrotter fumbled, rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Why?"

"Well, you know... Taking over the world. It's... not exactly a normal thing to put on one's "to-do" list."

"Well, it should be!" Pinky retorted, hands on his hips. "If everyone was as kind as you the world would be a better place!"

Just then, Pinky gasped, struck with a sudden idea.

"What?" Brain asked, a touch worried.

"Brain! What if we keep it a secret until allllll of your plans are ready, and then we surprise everyone with a big, save-the-world party!"

"Ummm... S-Sure! That's... kind of what I had in mind, actually."

"Egad! It's brilliant! I'll handle all the party preparations when the time comes, don't worry. I'll get balloons and decorations and... OH! Cake! We have to have cake, Brain! But will two hundred cakes be enough to feed everyone?"

"Pinky...?" Brain asked tentatively. "You... promise you won't tell anyone about this, right?"

"Of course not, Brain," Pinky said matter-of-factly, waving a hand. "I mean, you did almost kill me back there, but now I see that you just didn't want to spoil the surprise!"

"So... no blabbing?"

"My lips are sealed, Brain," he promised, making a "zipping" motion across his mouth with his thumb and forefinger. "But only if you'll let me help!"

He meant it in jest, partially. Even if Brain said no, he still would honor his request to keep the secret a secret, but Brain took it literally. He sighed, facepalming. Positives and negatives, he supposed.

"All right. Fine. But just... stay out of the way as best you can, all right?"

"Promise!" Pinky swore, beaming. "Um... do you mind if I hang around here for a little while?"

Brain narrowed his eyes at him. Just because they were now technically partners in crime didn't mean that he wanted Pinky hanging around any longer than he needed to. Then again, it wasn't as if letting him stay a bit longer would hurt anything.

"Just as long as you keep your paws off my lab."

"Yippee!" Pinky exclaimed, jumping once up into the air before reengaging in deep exploration of the room.

Brain sighed, turned back around, and planted his caboose firmly back in the computer chair. Every now and then he'd pause in his typing to stare curiously at Pinky as he looked at everything in the lab, trying his darndest not to lift a finger as Globetrotter had asked. Brain rolled his eyes, finally consenting.

"Fine. You can touch the books. But be careful with them," he warned.

"Oh, thank you, Brain! I won't rip a page!"

"You'd better not...," Brain mumbled under his breath.

Pinky sifted through the books, eventually finding one he liked and sitting down cross-legged on the floor, such as a child might during reading time. Brain shook his head at this. A past conversation came to mind...

"You're also the only other person who's still around at night when I go home late. It... makes me feel a little less lonely."

He stared at Pinky once more, head cocked to the side questioningly, before turning back to his work. The lanky newcomer was, undoubtedly, an annoyance. He was oxymoronic, incredibly daft, and a thorn in Brain's side. Things hadn't been quite the same at the school since he'd arrived. He was a pest that eventually needed to be eradicated. And yet, as Brain sat there, listening to the soft turning of the pages behind him, with the occasional 'ooo' or 'ahhh' complimenting a particularly good part of the book, he had to admit that the presence of someone else in the room, someone kind and nonjudgmental and supportive, made him feel a little less lonely, too.

-------------

Author's Notes:

- My dad used to own (and probably still does) one of those big briefcases with the locking mechanisms on them. I always enjoyed watching him fiddle with the combination and pop open the case. Of course, now-a-days, briefcases are pretty much a thing of the past, but I still think about that big ol' thing and its locks sometimes.

- The line "... in public, Brain?" is a reference to a very similar quote from one of the original Pinky and the Brain episodes, in which Brain asks Pinky to do something simple and Pinky, misunderstanding, replies with: "Brain? In public?"

- Marvell is an original OC created by Black Geeky Girl, whom you can find on Twitter and Tumblr.

- The line "positively affluent" is a reference to a PatB-themed story of the same name on AO3 that also features Snowball. Please look it up and read it. It's awesome.

- The ending is, admittedly, a bit rushed, and I struggled with the subtext of the laboratory scene. I'm not certain how apparent it is or not, but, if you don't get what I'm going for, all the better I suppose, as you'll be just as surprised as Pinky in a future chapter.

- This is my favorite chapter so far. I had a blast composing this.

#fan fiction #pinky and the brain

[razorblade180]

interdimensional Dads 4

Jaune:Who’s Next?

Jaune:Pick a number from one to a thousand.

Jaune:Since you married Yang it’s either 69

Jaune:Or 420, but because it you I’m gonna with 7

Jaune:Purple gets to go.

Jaune:....Oh did you- oh I see. That’s stupid. I like how he got the answer but it’s stupid.

Jaune:Hate to break it to you all but I can already tell that I’m probably the least interesting here. My Remnant doesn’t have anything crazy going on.

Jaune: Lucky you. We just wanna relax.

Jaune:Hehe, anyways I started dating Blake when we were at Beacon. Well I guess technically we didn’t date but we went on a lot of dates because we liked similar things. Music, tea, some books.

Jaune:Filth!

Jaune:*red* It’s been called that, yes. It’s something nice to bond over.

Jaune:Bond over, or bind over?

Jaune:I’m surprised you didn’t say bondage over.

Jaune:So scandalous. How grown of you.

Jaune:What would your dear parents think? Oh the shock!

Jaune:Why am I the one getting picked on!? You guys would literally find a similar interest in it!

Jaune:We know, it’s just funny seeing you red. Please continue.

Jaune:I can’t imagine the trip around the world was dramatically different. Reuniting with Blake was super comforting. We finally started officially dating after she scared me half to death at Argus. After beating Salem I decided to go with her back home after visiting my folks. Her parents were stunned to see yet another blonde-

Jaune:Sun or Yang?

Jaune:Both...you see, they new Sun for obvious reasons. Yang was a little more....how to put it?

Jaune:....She was in love with her too, wasn’t she?

A strange feeling of guilt and sadness filled the air.

Jaune:Yang and Blake were always pretty close, more so than with me in certain aspects. They were partners so of course it would be like amd with all the stuff that happened between them since Beacon, Yang falling in love with her was so easy to see. It wasn’t like it was one sided either, but those aspects, the knitty gritty hardships they shared? Sometimes sharing all that history makes it hard to have a normal relationship. So Yang took it pretty rough when we officially got together.

Jaune:That must’ve been a rough pill to swallow.

Jaune:It definitely was awkward at first l and a little bit of animosity. But eventually overtime it got better, until it didn’t... Blake and I had a kid. Our quiet little Lucas. Yang never out right said anything but having him and seeing us, me have a life with Blake brought sadness along with whatever happiness she did have for us. So she barely visits; she’s still kind when does though but it’s hard not to see that she would rather be somewhere else.

Jaune:Damn that’s....that’s rough. I couldn’t imagine my life without Yang. She’s practically my best friend at this point; always there to pick me up.

Jaune:Yeah she’s been a real life saver for me too.

Jaune:She’s my wife so it goes without saying that a world where she doesn’t want to be around me or Blake for that matter is pretty crazy. Do you at least have Ruby, Weiss, Ren and Nora?

Jaune:Yeah they’re around doing their own thing and we take turns visiting. Ruby tried to act like a bridge between us and Yang and it works for the most part. It’s rough but not as rough as it sounds. But any who, I guess I should talk about Lucas now.

Jaune:Before that, I couldn’t help but notice that you sound a little more...proper than the rest of us.

Jaune:*red* I’m always running into some important faunus that meets with Blake about equal rights stuff. It’s very weird being the only human around sometimes so I try extra hard not to say anything dumb. Don’t you have to meet with wealthy people a bunch?

Jaune:Yeah. They no better than to give me a hard time, or Weiss will kill them. They are very aware of the name ice queen.

Jaune:Ah.....Weiss. *smiles*

Jaune:So joe is your kid? I bet he’s as driven as his mother!

Jaune:*puts head on table* That boy has zero motivation! If you don’t bother him then he’ll lay around all day and sleep like a....well like a cat!

Jaune:Yikes...

Jaune:To be fair, I understand why. His semblance shows him various glimpses of the future that he’s never been able to complete control. Sometimes it activates without warning so it’s not uncommon for him to know something coming up. Poor guy can’t even finish a book sometimes without seeing his future self reading the ending.

Jaune:No wonder he has not motivation. The spice of life is being spoiled for him!

Jaune:Lucas is such a bright kid, a little bit awkward at times but he’s kind too. It’s a real bummer to see him in this constant slump. It’s not small things that get spot either. There are times he’s seen accidents happen and could do nothing to stop it, or the vision was so vague he didn’t know what was going on until it was too late. The world becomes pretty anxiety inducing if all you see is potential accidents.

Jaune:Potential?

Jaune:Yeah, it’s possible to avoid his visions. They aren’t set in stone by any means. He’s seen me beat him up in sparring and then didn’t show up. He’s walked out into the ocean before out of nowhere and speared a barracuda that he says “would’ve been bothersome later.” A family went swimming later on in that area. Still wish he went outside just to smell the roses though.

Jaune:Sounds frustrating, I feel for him. I don’t think my mind could function.

Jaune: I don’t think his is if he’s becoming a shut in. Maybe therapy or something? What does Blake think about all of this?

Jaune:Blake can convince him more than I can to move around more consistently. She’s always checking in out of nowhere and making sure both of us are doing well. This girl video chatted one time just to see if anything done anything fun, then forced us to find something fun to do if we haven’t. She knows if we’re left alone then we start stewing in our own thoughts way too much.

Jaune:That’s actually really sweet.

Jaune:I know! I can’t believe that’s my wife! We call her to make sure she takes a break from work or else she’ll work through lunch. We are basically tripping and picking each other up, it’s such a weird mess hehehe. That’s family though. It gets a little tense but nothing we can’t handle. Especially Lucas, I got a feeling his slump is about to turn into a rollercoaster.

Jaune:What makes you say that?

Jaune:Well....

xxxx

On a sunny day in menagerie a beautiful young girl looks up at the sky with complete serenity and wonder. It’s so blue, so simple, yet so fulfilling.

“You ever look at the sky and just wish you could touch it?” Her gaze drops to in front of her to see a very unamused Lucas.

“No, no I don’t.”

“That’s too bad. Are you more of a deep blue see guy or...”

“What are you doing?”

“Trying to know my bodyguard.”

“Still not your bodyguard.” He groaned. “Can you focus on not moving. I have three shots at this.”

“I bet you’ll get it right first try, no pressure.”

Lucas’s eye twitched as the girl gave him a big smile in her frayed harness, fifty feet from the ground. The boy angled his feet on the unsecured steel beam just enough to distribute his weight evenly.

“You and I have very different viewpoints on tense situations...” He slowly leaned forward with his hands stretched out. “Grab my hands at the same time.”

“Is it bad I wanna know what happens if I don’t?”

Her question was meant with stressful silence and anxious looks that only made her smile. “Just kidding, I can’t grab your hands at the same time when they’re trembling. Lighten up a little.”

“You do know this is your life right now?”

“Yeah I know. Hey, you single?”

That came out of nowhere. He folded his ears, flustered and confused. “What does that have to do with-”

The girl suddenly grabbed his hands. “Boom, you stopped trembling. That’s what I call team-” the harness snapped. The feeling of complete weightlessness took her for a moment before gravity came to pull her down. It was in that second Lucas yanked her close, her body in his arms.

He slowly slid backwards onto sturdy ground and then felt a strong breeze that was more than enough to sever the beam from the rest. The girl gasped.

“The workers!”

“Don’t worry.” He looked over the edge to see all of them far away and the beam falling right into their massive pile of dirt he told them to put down. Lucas let out a long sigh before looking at the girl.

She raised her eyebrow. “You haven’t answered my question yet.”

He groaned again. Go for a walk they said. It would do you some good they said. Now I’m dealing with this.

“I’m single.”

“Cool, I’m not.” She giggled.

“.....” He slowly nodded. “I should drop you.”

“But you won’t.”

“Sadly....”

Part 3

#rwby #the void #jaune arc #rwby au #rwby knightshade #rwby dragonslayer #rwby lancaster #rwby whiteknight #lucas belladonna

[deans-baby-momma]

Mommy's (Not So) Good Girl-Chapter 8

A/N: Most of you know, I had a medical emergency this week that landed me in the hospital. My very good friend, @lostinaseaoffictionalbliss, posted ch 7 for me on Wednesday but yesterday I completely forgot about posting ch 8. I am sorry! Also, I'm posting from my phone so the setup is probably all wonky. Not my fault.

I take my time driving through town, stopping at the library to tell Stella, the librarian goodbye then I head over to Gwen’s to enjoy a milkshake and fries, like I always do on my way back to campus.

I remember that there is a sale going on at the emporium so once I am done with my shake and fries, I head over to see what they have.

I peruse the racks and pick out a few different outfits that would look good when I begin going for job interviews and such. I pay Victoria, the owner, for the clothes and talk to her for a few minutes. Victoria and my mom are friends and she is really nice and gives me a bigger discount than the sales price calls for. Perks of being the daughter of the owner’s friend, I guess.

After leaving the emporium, I just drive around and think about what I am going to say and what I’m going to do to get the answers I deserve. 

Sex with Dean had been awesome; mind-blowing. Addicting, is what it was! I was addicted to it and then it just got pulled right out from under my feet and I had no idea why. I had assumed Dean enjoyed it as well, since he would come back for more when he was able.

Dean and I had messed around behind my Mom’s back for almost two weeks, practically every day. While Mom would be working and Ben was in school, Dean would find his way into my bed and between my thighs. And then one day, nothing. 

And then that one day turned into two, then three. Now here it is the end of the summer and the end of me living at home and he acts as if I don’t even exist. As if what we had never happened. Why?

I pull into the driveway and see that Mom’s car is indeed gone and Dean’s truck is there. Now, let’s just hope Ben is already gone to Brad’s. Which, even if he isn’t, I have a plan for that too. 

Walking up to the door, I turn the knob and walk in.

“Anyone home?” I yell as I close the door behind me.

“Oh hey kid,” Dean says as he comes in from the kitchen. “What’re you doing back?”

“Where’s Ben?” I answer his question with one of my own.

“Gone to Brad’s,” Dean answers, taking a drink of his beer. “Did you forget something?”

“Nope,” I say, swiping the beer from his hand and taking a long drink. “I came back to talk to you.”

“Me?”

“Yea, first of all, what the hell is up with calling me kid? Dean, you know good and well I’m not a kid, not anymore. So why all of a sudden you calling me, kid?”

“Abby…”

“Don’t placate me Dean,” I say, getting irritated. “I deserve better than that. I gave you my virginity, which by the way, at the time you had no issues with taking. And you kept coming back for more. Then suddenly something changed. You didn’t see me as a woman anymore. So tell me Dean, what the hell happened?”

Dean sighs and sits in his recliner. He motions for me to take a seat on the couch and I do, sitting the bottle of beer on the coffee table.

“Ki-Abby,” he corrects himself. “I’m sorry. I really am. I shouldn’t have done you like that. I shouldn’t have made you feel like you were less than a woman, because honestly to me you’re not. Not now.”

“So why’d we stop messing around?” I ask, thankful for his openness and candor.

“Because when I-ahem- when I came inside you and then you joked about  having a kid by me, just like Lis. I realized something and it scared me.”

My mouth is completely dry. I swipe the beer and take a swig. “What? What scared you?”

“That I could really ruin your life. And I hated that idea!”

I had to take another drink and try to process his words, but coming up with nothing, completely lost. “What?”

“Abby, baby. Come here,” Dean says as he reaches a hand out. I stand up and walk toward him and put my palm in his. “I can’t do that to you. I won’t! I am not father material. I am a nobody, everyone’s second choice. My dad favored my brother over me; I was just the grunt. The guy who did all the dirty work. I shouldn’t even consider fathering anyone’s kid, especially yours. 

“You are a smart intelligent young lady who has a future ahead of her and I’m sure- no, I know you are going to be a successful business woman who will meet some equally successful young man and hit it off. Why would I even dream of standing in the way of that?”

“Dean,” I say, sincerity in my tone. “I’m not pregnant. In fact after that morning, I went to the doctor and got put on the pill.”

“Really? Why?”

I look down at him with a “why do you think” expression and he chuckles. “Oh. Does Lis know?”

“No, and even if she found them, she trusts me. I’d just tell her I was being responsible now that I’m legal and a junior in college. You know, frat parties and what not,” I say with a shrug.

An air of anger passes across Dean’s face before he masks it. I briefly wonder what that is all about but before I can ask, he pulls me into his lap, wrapping his arm around my back.

“So, you didn’t go back to the dorms?”

“No, don’t officially need to be there until this Monday. I always leave a couple days early though, just to get reacquainted with life there.”

“Hmmm,” Dean hums as he nuzzles his face against my neck. “Two days. What is Daddy going to do to his naughty little girl for two whole days?”

“I’ve been very naughty Daddy,” I say as I run my fingers through his hair. “I didn’t do as I was told. I need to be disciplined.”

Dean groans and I can feel his dick growing under my ass. 

“Go close those curtains, little girl.” 

I get up and pull the fabric closed, shutting the house off from the rest of the world. I turn to see Dean has already removed his shirt and shoes. 

“Now what Daddy?”

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss​ @spnbaby-67​ @tftumblin​ @sea040561​ @delightfullykrispypeach​ @larajadeschmidt13​ @vicariouslythruspn​ @squirrelnotsam​ @death-unbecomes-you​ @sandlee44​ @blacktithe7​ @deanwanddamons​ @hoboal87​ @marvelfanbrenda​ @vicmc624​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @elliloumom @stoneyggirl​

#new series #Mommy's (Not So) Good Girl #dean winchester #lisa braeden #abby braeden #ben braeden #dean x lisa #dean x abby #smut #angst

[syntheticpoetry]

And the World Spins Madly On, Chapter 13

Summary:  A few weeks after visiting Kurt in New York and confessing to cheating Blaine is attacked and left for dead, resulting in a traumatic brain injury. Burt finds him on his way home from work and calls Kurt to deliver the news. How will Kurt help Blaine pick up the broken pieces when his own heart is still so conflicted?

And The World Spins Madly On (ff.net link if you’d like to leave a review!) AO3 link

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 || Chapter 11  || Chapter 12

“I do.  He looks a little different, but I recognize him,” Cooper said quietly.  Kurt stared at him through unfocused eyes.  “What I want to know,” Cooper continued through gritted teeth.  The anger rising off of him was palpable.  It felt as though the cage of a lion had been kicked wide open and the beast was slinking out in search of flesh and blood.  “Is why that piece of shit isn’t rotting in prison.  And how you guys don’t seem to have a record in your database to match this against.”

“I don’t understand,” Detective Carson looked completely taken aback.  

“He was one of the boys that attacked Blaine when he was fourteen.  Two out of three of them were found not guilty despite the fact that they all killed someone after beating them both with a fucking tire iron.  Surely, you must have heard of it, it was only four years ago.” 

“Coop,” Kurt said warningly when Blaine had tried to bring one of his hands up to his forehead and cursed quietly when it collided with the front of the helmet. “He’s on our side here.”

“Sorry,” Cooper said strenuously.  “But this has to be somewhere in your database, right?”

“Do you have a name? I can run a search when I get back to the station,” Detective Carson held his hand out to Kurt for the sketch.  Kurt handed it back to him and scooted closer to Blaine, resting his palms on his lap while Blaine continued to shield his face.  Despite the lighting in the room casting a distorted yellow tinge to his skin, up close Kurt could see just how pale he looked beneath a thin layer of sweat.  ‘So much for calling this a good day,’ he thought bitterly as he stroked Blaine’s thighs slowly, hoping to channel some semblance of serenity into his trembling body. 

“Logan Walker,” Cooper replied, struggling to keep the edge off of his voice.  “They found him not guilty, along with Bailey Gibson, even though he was the one calling the shots.  The only one they charged was Cody Byrne, his prints were the only ones on the tire iron.  They couldn’t prove the other two were involved and this state isn’t exactly sympathetic about homophobic driven hate crimes.”

“Well, it matters to me,” Detective Carson responded, sounding rather reserved as he jotted down the list of names in a small notebook.  “I’m gonna make sure we catch these guys and that they’re locked up for good this time.  I give you my word.”

Cooper nodded stiffly and knelt down beside Blaine.  “Hey,” He whispered, “You okay?” 

Blaine let out a strained, strangled sound in affirmation and searched for Kurt’s hand while simultaneously fumbling with the clasp of the helmet.  Kurt guided his fingers over to the proper spot and helped him squeeze the sides inward to unlatch it.  At the sound of the tiny click!, Blaine forcibly pulled the straps apart and tugged the helmet off.  He dropped it to the floor where it landed with a dull thud and proceeded to splay his right hand across his forehead now that the barrier was gone. “Are we done?” 

“Yes, I know this has been very hard for you.  I’m sorry, Blaine,” Detective Carson offered sympathetically.  “I hope you’re able to enjoy the rest of your holiday.”

“Do you want to take some food with you?” Kurt asked.  It had suddenly dawned on him that the reason Detective Carson was here now was because he was working instead of being able to eat at home with his own family.  

“Oh, no, thank you––” Detective Carson proceeded to shove the small notebook into a small inner breast pocket of his jacket. 

“No, please, I insist.  You’ve been so helpful and understanding through all of this.  Let me make you a plate,” Kurt interrupted him and motioned to pull his hands away from Blaine.  Cooper stood up before he barely had the chance to retract his hands.

“Kurt, I’ll do it.  Stay with him.” 

Cooper disappeared before anyone could get another word in.  Kurt turned his attention back to Blaine, who appeared to now be employing the breathing exercises Kurt had taught him over the previous days to manage his panic attacks.  Kurt raised his hand up and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.  “You’re getting better at that, you don’t even need me to count,” he whispered, earning a solitary shaky laugh from Blaine that sounded more like a sharp exhale.

“I might need you to count,” Blaine dragged the fingers of his free hand across his forehead, and Kurt could hear how out of breath he sounded now that he was actually speaking more.  “I keep losing track, my head is pounding.”

“Sure.  You’re due for your medicine too, hopefully that’ll help with the headache,” Kurt spoke softly to avoid further aggravating his sensitivity to sound.  The last thing he figured Blaine needed was another repeat of Monday afternoon.  Detective Carson watched as Kurt proceeded to quietly count and guide Blaine through breathing exercises as though they were the only two people in the room.  Cooper returned just as they were starting another round and furrowed his brows in concern.  “Everything okay?” He offered a styrofoam plate covered in aluminum foil to Detective Carson, who had been too busy watching them to notice. 

Kurt waited until the end of their round and spoke quickly while Blaine tried to continue on his own.  “Yeah, can you grab his meds?” 

“Yeah,” Cooper tapped Detective Carson’s arm to garner his attention.  “Let us know as soon as you hear anything new?” 

“Sorry,” Detective Carson quickly took the plate from him.  “Yes, you have my word.” He waited until Cooper disappeared again and though Kurt was not looking at him he could tell he seemed to be hesitating for some reason.  Within a few seconds he appeared to come to his senses and shuffled towards the front door.  “I’m sorry again about dropping by like this.  Thank you for the plate, enjoy the rest of your holiday.”  He let himself out before Kurt could turn around and properly say goodbye.  

“Mom, really, everything’s fine,” Cooper and Emilia’s voices grew louder as they entered the room together.  He was walking in front of her, trying to shield Blaine from view but she pushed past him insistently. 

“I just want to check— Oh, sweetie,” she had taken one look at Blaine hunched over in the chair before her forehead was wrought with wrinkled worry lines.  “You don’t look well at all.  Maybe we should get you home.”

This was evidently the completely wrong thing to say.  Blaine’s head shot up so quickly it even left feeling Kurt dizzy and disoriented.  He looked at Cooper, clearly alarmed, as the little remaining colour drained from his face.  “Coop––”

“Relax,” Cooper said calmly, handing Blaine’s medication and a glass of water over to Kurt.  “Mom, he’s not going back there right now.”

“Blaine, sweetheart, I came home to take care of you,” Emilia disregarded Cooper’s declaration and diverted her attention solely to Blaine.  He squirmed uncomfortably as she continued to stare at him.  Something about the way she looked at him made him feel as though he were under a microscope, waiting to be doused in chemicals just so she could witness the reaction.  As far as he could remember, she had never shown this much interest in his well-being before. 

“Since when have you wanted to take care of me?” Blaine blurted out.  A mumbled curse beneath his breath let Kurt know the question had not been intentional.  

Emilia stared at him with something of a mix between guilt and sorrow.  The dull throbbing against his skull transformed into a steady pressure, forcing him to double back over and groan loudly.  Emilia tentatively extended her hand towards Blaine, but Cooper had gently curled his fingers around her wrist to stop her.  “Goddamnit.  Fuck,” Blaine pressed his fingers against his forehead with such force the nail beds began to turn white. “Fuck.”

“Blaine,” Kurt nudged Blaine’s knee with his own.  “Here, take these if you can.” He offered the two pills resting on his palm.  Blaine squeezed his eyes shut and stomped his foot against the ground as the pressure began to peak.  “I need a minute,” he mumbled strenuously.  

“Let me get some ice,” Cooper released Emilia’s wrist and quickly dashed out of the room.  Kurt set the glass of water down on the coffee table and closed his hand around the pills to avoid losing them.  When Cooper returned, Kurt hastily accepted the ice pack and used his fist containing the pills to gently tap on Blaine’s fingers.  “Honey, move your hand.  Let’s try this,” Kurt pressed the paper towel clad ice pack to his fingers and Blaine tentatively withdrew his hand, releasing a quiet sigh as his forehead came in contact with the cold relief.  “Helping?” Kurt asked softly.  Blaine responded with a quiet grunt and closed his hand over Kurt’s, slowly rotating his forehead against the ice pack.  Cooper had pulled Emilia aside, trying to continue the conversation in whispers, but Kurt was still able to hear every word.

“He’s not going back there—”

“Oh, honestly, Cooper, don’t be—”

“Did you even hear what he said about dad earlier? Did you know about that? Or is that something else you’re just pretending didn’t happen?” Cooper asked, his tone protective and resounding even at the low decibel he was trying to contain himself to.

“I know I haven’t done my best to stand up for him with the last time this happened,” Emilia replied.  “But I’m not letting it happen again.  It’s going to be different.  I’m going to take care of him.”

“I’m not talking about that,” Cooper raised his voice slightly, agitated and impatient, and proceeded to guide her farther away, forcing himself to regain control. His voice was still shaking with the contained anger that had been impossible to weed out.  “Didn’t you hear what he said about dad hitting him? Did you know about that? About him locking him up in closets?”

Kurt had to give her credit if she was acting, but he was willing to bet that her reaction was genuine.  Her eyes darted over in their direction and Kurt could see the same wildfire that danced in Cooper’s eyes when it came to being protective over Blaine.  And he also saw that she mirrored the same defeated expression Cooper had adapted just a few days prior when Blaine’s heavy confession about his father had finally come tumbling out.  Cooper had a point though.  Either she had completely disregarded Blaine’s accidental confession earlier or somehow did not seem to hear it at all.  Both options weighed heavily on Kurt’s conscience currently as she stumbled her way through her reaction. 

“No, he would never–– I would have noticed–– How long have you known?”

She had traversed through the stages of grief in the blink of an eye.  Kurt turned his attention back to Blaine, who appeared to be oblivious to the entire conversation.  He seized the opportunity to continue distracting Blaine and offered his medication again as the coating of the pills had begun to melt in the heat of his clenched fist.  Blaine sluggishly leaned backwards until he could go no further but kept his hand over Kurt’s.  Their fingers were clumsy and numb from the prolonged exposure to the ice.  His eyes were still closed as mumbled his response, terrified any sudden movement would thrust him right back into the full force of the migraine that continued to ebb and flow.  The throbbing had been subdued to a sporadic dull pulse on the left side of his forehead, but previous experience prevented him from being lulled into a false sense of security that it had fully passed.  With some effort, he unfurled his fingers from around Kurt’s and relinquished his hand.  Kurt set the ice pack onto the coffee table and flexed his fingers a few times before he was able to trust himself to grab the cup.  “Here,” he prompted softly, pressing the pills against Blaine’s lips.  Blaine allowed his lips to part just enough for Kurt to push them in one by one and took a small sip of water once he had tipped the cup against his mouth. 

“Thank you,” Blaine’s voice had failed him, leaving him to helplessly mouth the words. 

“You’re welcome,” Kurt encouraged him to drink some more water before setting the cup down again.  “You look like you’re ready to crash,” he brushed his fingers lightly across Blaine’s forehead.  Though the skin was now bright pink it was still cold to the touch.  Blaine leaned forward into his touch and forcibly opened his eyes.  “Are they fighting about me now?” 

Kurt glanced over his shoulder and saw Cooper and Emilia had vanished.  “I don’t think they’re fighting,” Kurt replied and slid his hand down to rest against Blaine’s cheek.  “Do you want to go lay down?” 

“Isn’t Isabelle coming soon?” Blaine closed his eyes again and gripped the arm rests on the wheelchair as a sharp throbbing above his left eye socket caught him off guard.  “I know how excited you are to see her,” he tried to downplay the pain, but Kurt saw right through the charade. 

“Blaine,” Kurt said softly. 

“I wanted to meet her,” Blaine’s grip on the armrests slackened and he opened his eyes again.  He somehow looked both disoriented and determined. 

“It doesn’t have to be tonight if you’re not feeling well,” Kurt brushed his thumb gently over Blaine’s cheek.  The tiny gesture had sent shivers down his spine.

“I’m okay, really,” Blaine insisted, continuing to lean his head into Kurt’s hand.

“For being such a great actor, you’re a terrible liar, you know,” Kurt smiled sympathetically.  

“Don’t let me and my stupid headache ruin this,” Blaine said.  Everything about his expression exuded desperation.  “Please?” 

“Fine, fine.  If you say so,” Kurt conceded.  “Shall we go join everyone at the table again?” 

“What about Coop and my mom? Should I go talk to them?” Blaine seemed hesitant at his own suggestion.  Kurt leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead.  A gentle shiver ran through his body when his warm lips connected with Blaine’s cold skin.  “They’ll know where to find us when they’re done.  Sounded like Cooper needed to catch her up on a few things anyways.” 

Blaine nodded a fraction of an inch and Kurt secured the helmet to his head once again before they returned to the table to find everyone had seemingly put their dinner on pause in their absence.  Kurt took his seat beside Blaine and picked up his cutlery again, “You two really outdid yourselves this year, even without my help.” After that dinner proceeded like normal, each of them taking turns in conversation as though nothing had happened.  Between encouraging Blaine to eat, despite the fact that it looked like the last thing on Earth he wanted to be taking part in, Kurt continued to text Isabelle beneath the table and had solidified a time for her to stop by.  He had also given her an extremely hasty summarized version of events ending with Blaine isn’t feeling well but still wants to meet you.  Cooper and Emilia returned as Finn and Carole were clearing the table.   Their plates still remained in place, untouched.  Both of their eyes were bleary and puffy with the untold story of a thousand secrets.  Blaine’s eyes darted back and forth between them questioningly as Cooper took his seat and Emilia remained standing, her gaze unfocused.

“Mom, sit.  Please,” Cooper pulled on her hand gently.  She sank down into the chair beside him and dabbed at her eyes with the silky material of her powder blue blouse sleeve.  

“What the hell happened? Why is she looking at me like that?” Blaine could no longer contain his thoughts. “Fuck, I said that out loud, didn’t I?”

“Honey, I’m so sorry,” Emilia replied instantly, her eyes welling up with fresh tears.  Cooper’s face contorted with what seemed to be disappointment as soon as she had spoken, as though she was a child who had betrayed a promise to keep a secret to herself.  “Sweetie, I never knew.”

“Never knew what? Don’t tell me you never noticed anything,” Blaine said with an air of impatience.  Kurt slid his hand onto Blaine’s thigh beneath the table in a gesture of comfort, but Blaine misinterpreted it as patronizing instead.  “No, I wanna know why she’s looking at me like that.  What were you guys talking about? Cooper,” Blaine narrowed his eyes at his brother suspiciously.  He had completely lost control now.  “What did you—” As he soaked up his brother’s guilty expression, a realization suddenly dawned upon him.  “No.  No, no, no, Cooper you didn’t.” 

“Blaine, you have to try to calm down,” Kurt squeezed his thigh lightly.  “Remember what we talked about—”

“Cooper, tell me you didn’t.  You promised that was just between you and me.  Tell me it’s something else.  Tell me you didn’t,” Blaine asked urgently, ignoring Kurt.  Snippets of one of the articles Isabelle had sent paraded to the forefront of Kurt’s mind— ‘Increased aggressiveness, increased anxiety, reduced self-control,’ — as Blaine remained hyper fixated, raising his voice.  All of his sentiments were merging together like a train collision.  There was no space in between for Cooper, or anyone, to get a word in against him.  “Why aren’t you saying anything?” Blaine asked impatiently after what he must have perceived to be a long delay.  In actuality, there had been maybe half a second between the question and his previous statement.

“Because I know you don’t want to actually have this conversation in front of everyone,” Cooper responded calmly.  That seemed to force Blaine to come back to himself.  One quick glance around the table and he suddenly realized Burt, Finn and Carole were still in the room with them.  They had become ghosts in their own home, silently observing the Anderson family torturously ripping apart at the seams.  “We were going to talk to you after dinner, wasn’t that what we agreed on, mom?” Cooper continued, still maintaining the same calm tone of voice.  Emilia demurely nodded her head once.  “But we can do that now if you don’t want to wait.” 

The doorbell rang and no one moved.  Kurt did not want to leave Blaine’s side, but knew full well who was at the door this time.  “That’ll be Isabelle,” he said.

“I’ll let her in,” Burt offered, clearly desperate for the opportunity to leave the room.  He left to answer the door and Isabelle’s bubbly voice carried over into the kitchen as she greeted him, completely unaware of the scene she was intruding on.  

“What do you want to do, Blaine?” Kurt had not removed his hand from Blaine’s lap and continued to alternate between rubbing his thigh and squeezing it soothingly.  He appeared to remain undecided, alternating his attention between Cooper and Emilia before he finally said, “Tell me yes or no first.  Tell me that and then we talk later.” 

Cooper sighed heavily and pushed his plate away.  The silverware shook and clattered lightly against the porcelain in the silence.  After what felt like eons crammed into the small stretch of time, he offered a simple, “Yes.” 

Blaine clenched his fists together tightly and painfully tore his eyes away from his brother to look at Kurt.  Whatever he was thinking, it was no longer evident in his expression.  His tone had changed entirely.  There was no anger or urgency anymore.  Instead, he sounded almost confident as he asked, “So about that introduction?”

“Right,” Kurt replied numbly.  Blaine the actor had finally made an appearance again.  The one who had always been able to shove down his own emotions into the farthest depths as he prepared to perform for the world around him.  The transition had always been so subtle.  Something completely natural and unnoticeable.  As Kurt’s body moved on autopilot to stand and navigate Blaine into the living room towards Isabelle’s faint laughter, he wondered how he had never been able to realize whenever Blaine managed to flip the switch between personalities. 

‘Of course I’ve never noticed, he’s probably used the same trick on me a million times.’

In the living room, Burt was being completely steamrolled by Isabelle’s excitement as she jabbered away.  Her face lit up when Kurt wheeled Blaine into the room.  “Hello, my darling!” She glided over to him as though she was some ethereal being simply floating above the floorboards and wrapped an arm around Kurt in a one handed embrace.  In her other hand she was carefully balancing an aluminum pie tin.  She pulled away, positively beaming, and turned her attention to Blaine.  “And you must be Blaine, I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Uh-oh, is that a good thing or a bad thing?” Blaine jested and smiled, extending his hand out to her.  “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“It’s a good thing.  I’m a hugger, if that’s alright with you, darling,” she leaned over to give him the same warm hearted welcome she had offered to Kurt once he had lowered his hand and agreed.  “Sorry, I’m late.  You know how these family get togethers go.  Put us all in a room and the sun will be rising if no one cuts me off.” 

“I can see why Kurt gets along with you so well,” Blaine laughed.  Kurt was finding it far more difficult than he was to slip into the idea of normalcy as the scene played out.  He was roused from his daydreaming when Blaine had subtly reached out to touch his hand and smiled without missing a beat.  

“Sorry, don’t mind me.  Starting to slip into one of those post food comas,” Kurt squeezed Blaine’s hand gently, tethering himself back down again.  

“I hope you’ve saved room; this pumpkin pie isn’t world famous for nothing!” Isabelle held it up as though it was an Olympic torch.  “Do you need help setting anything out?”

“No, no, don’t be silly,” Burt interjected.  “Make yourself comfortable, I’m going to help my wife bring out the rest of the desserts.  Can I get you something to drink?”

“A coffee would be fabulous.  Thanks so much.” Isabelle set the pie plate on the coffee table and took a seat on the couch as Burt disappeared into the kitchen.  “Did you boys have a good Thanksgiving?”

“It’s been eventful, to say the least,” Blaine mumbled to himself.

“What’s that?” Isabelle asked.

“Nothing,” Blaine straightened up in his seat.  “How are you liking being back home? Kurt said you grew up in Ohio.”

“It’s always nice to see everyone, but I would be lying if I said I missed actually being here.  My heart’s still in New York.  It gets too quiet here for me, I need the buzz of the city.”

“There really is nothing quite like it,” Kurt agreed fondly.  

“Sounds like you both really miss it,” Blaine said.  His act had betrayed him and the statement had come out sounding forlorn and distant.  As Kurt opened his mouth to reply, Burt returned carrying a large platter with assorted cookies balanced on one hand and Isabelle’s coffee in the other.  Behind him the rest of the family followed in line, Finn carrying some small plates, Carole with a homemade chocolate cake, Cooper with silverware and some napkins, and Emilia, who had managed to make herself appear more composed.  After everyone had settled in, the remainder of the evening flew by in a whirlwind of laughter as Isabelle regaled them with stories of what she liked to call ‘New York Moments.’  Blaine contributed to the conversation, flawlessly falling into step with Isabelle’s ardor as though they were old friends.  Kurt had been so caught off guard, he struggled to keep up with them.  His mind still lingered on just how seamlessly Blaine had managed to transition into this character he was playing.  A character that looked a lot like the old, ultra-confident boy who had taken hold of Kurt’s hand at Dalton and led him down a hallway towards a performance that literally had changed their lives.  As he took the backseat and observed their interactions, some tiny part of his brain chirped quietly from his subconscious. ‘Which Blaine is the real Blaine?’

At around midnight though Blaine had seemingly exerted all of his energy and was struggling to stay awake.  Every few seconds or so Kurt noticed him nodding off and waking with a jolt as his chin came down towards his chest.  He would cross his arms and straighten his back, trying to sit tall and keep himself awake.  After the fourth time it happened Kurt subtly leaned forward to whisper to him as Isabelle continued to entertain everyone else, “Time for bed?” 

“M’supposed to talk to Coop and my mom,” Blaine drawled on sleepily and rubbed his eyes. 

“There’s always tomorrow.  Plus you have an early start, don’t you?” Blaine looked puzzled and Kurt continued.  “Your follow up appointment and then you have that session with Dr. MacManus.” 

“Oh, right.  I forgot.” The words came stretched on the wings of a long yawn.  Blaine rubbed his eyes again and Kurt patted his thigh lightly. 

“Come on, I’ll lie down with you,” Kurt said. 

“You can stay up if you want,” Blaine paused through another long yawn and pulled on the chin strap of the helmet.  “I know you probably want some one on one time with Isabelle.  Don’t argue, I know that you do,” He added before Kurt could protest.  He was not wrong; Kurt did want to catch up with her away from everyone else.  Especially after the performance Blaine had just given.

“Okay.  You want me to help you to bed at least?” 

“Yeah, could you, please?” He pulled on the helmet strap again.  “Can’t wait to take this thing off.” 

Kurt smiled sympathetically and stood up.  “I’m just gonna help Blaine to bed, I’ll be right back.”

“I didn’t even realize how late it is,” Cooper announced in reply.  “Mom, I should probably drive you home.  We have to be up early tomorrow,” Emilia looked as though she wanted to argue, but thought better of it and nodded.  “Burt, Carole, thank you for having me,” Emilia said sheepishly.

“Our pleasure,” Burt responded. 

“Blaine?” She approached him tentatively and stopped just shy of arm’s reach.  He looked up at her, his head heavy with drowsiness.  “Can we talk tomorrow?” 

Blaine nodded slowly in his sleepy trance and she smiled wearily before turning on her heel to approach Cooper.  “Wait,” Blaine’s small voice drew her attention back to him and he shyly continued, “You’re not gonna hug me goodbye?” Something broke within her and it was evident on her face as she leaned over to embrace him.  Kurt watched them sadly, knowing full well that he was going to stay up and wait for Cooper to return to press him for the details of their earlier conversation.  When they finally broke apart everyone took their time saying their goodbyes before Cooper and Emilia left. 

“Isabelle, could you hang around for a bit?” Kurt asked as he unlocked the wheelchair brakes. 

“Of course, darling.”

“Kurt, I could help him to bed if you want,” Finn surprisingly announced.  “If Blaine doesn’t mind, that is.” Kurt and Blaine simultaneously responded. 

“It’s okay, I’ve got—”

“I don’t mind.” 

Kurt yielded control of the wheelchair to Finn and gently patted Blaine’s shoulder.  Blaine brought his hand up and placed it over Kurt’s, lingering momentarily before dropping it down onto his lap again.  As they rounded the corner and disappeared he turned to Isabelle.  “Wanna step outside for a minute?” They navigated their way through the kitchen and towards the garden table.  The second Kurt had slid the screen door shut, Isabelle’s animated voice permeated the quiet air, “You’re positively smitten with him.” 

“That obvious, huh?” Kurt’s shoulders slumped and he sank down into one of the dark green metal chairs.  “I know you said to set boundaries, but I realized that’s all I’ve been doing since I got home.  Setting rules and keeping my distance.  It was exhausting.  He’s apologized a million times and I really do believe him.  I want to forgive him.  I want to trust him again.  I want him to trust me because it’s obvious to see now that he’s been holding so much of himself back.  Does that make me crazy?”

“How did it feel when you kissed the other night?” Isabelle asked.

“It felt,” Kurt could not help but smile as he reminisced.  “Like coming home.”

“I don’t think it makes you crazy, Kurt.  But have you two talked more about everything since then?”

“A little,” Kurt replied guiltily.  “Not really.  Not as much as we should have.  There are just so many other things going on right now, I’m waiting for the right time.”

“Can I give you my honest opinion?” 

“Always.”

“It sounds like you’re avoiding some of the difficult stuff because you’re trying to protect him.  Which doesn’t seem fair to either of you,” Isabelle said. 

“So, what should I do?” Kurt asked desperately.  “Everything is such a mess and I just want it to be normal again.” 

“What’s keeping you from forgiving him?” Isabelle asked.  “Are you afraid he’ll do it again?” 

“I was,” Kurt replied automatically.  

“And you aren’t anymore?” She probed.  

They sat in silence as Kurt contemplated his response.  Deep down, he really did believe Blaine had regretted his actions.  That he had acted only out due to a combination of their miscommunication and his own mountain of insecurities.  The more he was coming to learn about Blaine’s past through his accidental confessions the more he came to understand the complex machinery of his ex-lover’s inner world of twisted turmoil.  Aside from Cooper, anyone Blaine had ever come to trust or rely on had completely betrayed or disregarded him.  He had been singled out and bullied not only at school, but at home too.  Two of out of his three previous attackers had been allowed to walk free from an assault and murder charge.  And while Kurt had offered him his own trust and love, Blaine still kept himself guarded.  He had only allowed Kurt to view tiny glimpses of his life, and even that appeared to be an act bred of his own need to please others while casting himself aside.  He thought back to Blaine’s confession in New York — ‘I thought I was losing you’ — and felt his stomach lurch.  He had let his demons fester and infect their relationship to the point of believing Kurt would abandon him the same way everyone else he had ever come to rely on did.

“He wouldn’t do it again,” Kurt said finally. 

“Something is keeping you from forgiving him though.  And until you figure out what it is, you’re going to be stuck in this same loop, sweetie.  Where things sort of feel normal, but you’re still avoiding these major problems and they inevitably resurface,” Isabelle offered a sympathetic smile and reached over to the table.  Kurt slid his hands into hers.  

“I think,” Kurt said slowly, the wheels in his head still turning slowly as he continued, “What’s holding me back is that it feels like he can’t trust me enough to show me who he really is,” he exhaled sharply and tilted his head back slightly as his vision became blurry with the threat of tears on the horizon.  “And if he can’t trust me to let me in, how can I trust him? That Blaine you just met in there? That’s partly him, but it makes me wonder how much of himself he keeps locked away when he isn’t trying to please everyone around him.”

“Well,” Isabelle said softly, “There you go.” 

“I keep wondering if he would still be keeping everything to himself if he was able to control it.  I think about it a lot, actually.  He’s become completely incapable of keeping secrets, and I’m scared he’ll just hide himself away again the second he’s able to,” Kurt sniffled loudly.  “If he’s able to, I guess.  Since they have no idea what kind of lasting damage there will be.  God, this whole thing is just terrifying.  I wish it never happened.” 

“I'm sorry, sweetie,” Isabelle offered consolingly. “I find it best not to let my mind wander too far away from the situation I’m in.  Otherwise the possibilities will never end.” 

“It’s funny you say that because I’ve been parroting the same response to everyone else,” Kurt laughed sardonically. 

“Time to practice what you preach then, my friend.” 

“I suppose you’re right, as usual,” Kurt pulled a hand away to run his fingers through his hair.  

“I know it’s difficult to think about, but what are your long term plans, Kurt? Say you forgive him and you boys make up, then what?” Isabelle asked with innocent curiosity.  The way she posed her inquiries never felt like the interrogations that Rachel usually subjected him to.  And he loved her for that.  She had a sort of candor about her that could make anyone feel right at home.

“I really don’t know,” Kurt replied quietly.  There had not been much time to consider the possibilities of reconciliation between them when everything forced him to focus on the moment.  The scope of his vision had been reduced to day-to-day, measured in good ones or bad ones depending on how much Blaine had either regressed or accomplished. 

“Just something to ponder and maybe discuss with him, don’t you think?” Isabelle cocked her head to one side and smiled half-heartedly.  He knew she was right.  Of course she was right.  She had been right about everything already thus far.  

“Yes,” Kurt replied, resigned.  “I’ll talk to him this weekend.  We need a mature heart-to-heart, that’s pretty evident.”  Isabelle squeezed his hands and smiled.  “So,” Kurt continued, shrugging his shoulders slightly.  “What did you think of him?”

Isabelle laughed.  “Well, he’s certainly a teenage dream, that’s for sure.”

“Yes,” Kurt laughed quietly.  “Yes, he is.”

___________________________________________________

“Tell me again why we had to make this appointment so early?” Blaine drawled in the passenger seat and dragged his knuckles across his eyes in a desperate attempt to knead away the exhaustion overtaking his eyelids.  Beside him Cooper spared a moment from scanning the road for the right building to roll his eyes.

“Since when is ten o’clock early for you?” 

“Lay off, it’s not my fault,” Blaine responded grumpily and folded his arms across his chest. 

“I’m only teasing,” Cooper smoothly navigated his way into a parking space and shifted the gear into park.  The car lurched briefly as it came to a still and he twisted the key in the ignition, abruptly cutting off the song Blaine had been quietly singing along to.  “Was last night as bad as the rest of the week?” 

“You mean you somehow slept through all the screaming?” Blaine mumbled as he unlatched his seatbelt and slid it across his chest slowly.  

“I only came back this morning to pick you up,” Cooper replied.  “I stayed at home last night.” Blaine tugged at the strap of his helmet and spared a sideways glance at his brother.  “Didn’t plan on it, but I kind of got into a screaming match with dad and then stayed up late talking to mom after.  I just ended up napping there for a few hours before I came back to get you ready to go.” 

“Oh,” Blaine offered quietly.  

“I know you want to ask about it, I can tell,” Cooper responded.  “But we’re gonna be late, so we can talk about it later.  I promise.” Blaine nodded meekly and sent his mind into overdrive as Cooper exited and proceeded to help him out of the car.  It was another conversation to add to the growing list ahead of them.  He thought back to his outburst at dinner last night after Cooper and their mother had returned to the table and found himself lingering on the way she studied him with such pity in her eyes.  He felt naked and embarrassed being exposed like this, constantly under observation from everyone.  Despite their best efforts, he knew they were all walking on eggshells around him.  He hated it.  It made him feel fragile.  One false move and he would crumble to pieces before their eyes, just like they all expected him to.  

______________________________________________

“So how was your holiday?” Dr. MacManus asked.  She was sitting opposite Blaine on a red leather, cushy armchair with one leg crossed over the other.  Perched against her thigh was a yellow legal pad.  Blaine propped his head up on the arm of the wheelchair and stared out of the window into the parking lot.  The sky has become overcast in dark grey between his first appointment and the trip to her office, bearing the threat of an impending storm.  The irony was not lost on him.  “Your brother mentioned your parents came home.” 

“I saw my mom,” Blaine stated tonelessly.  “Not my dad.  What else did he tell you?”

“I want to hear your version of events, Blaine.  Not his.”  She folded her hands atop the pad and waited patiently. 

“What if I don’t feel like talking right now?” Blaine said bitterly.  In actuality, he had come prepared with a million burning questions buzzing around his head until the news from his follow-up appointment earlier in the morning wiped everything away.  While Cooper had already reminded him of the upcoming brain surgery they had scheduled for mid-December, neither of them were prepared for the news that Blaine’s knee might never heal properly even with the elective surgery to repair his ACL.  At the mention of the word ‘cane’ Blaine had completely shut down and tuned out the rest of the conversation.  While the vertigo had him worried for when he felt well enough to start dancing again the thought of never being able to dance again at all had been too much to bear. 

“That’s okay too, if you don’t feel like it right now,” Dr. MacManus’ voice cut through the buzzing self-pity and he sighed heavily. 

“This just fucking sucks.  All of it.  It’s not fair,” Blaine finally stated.  He turned away from the window to face her and had suddenly adapted Kurt’s habit of speaking with his hands as he continued to lash out.  “I just want it to stop.  I want to stop feeling so useless and scared.  I want everyone to stop looking at me like a pathetic broken toy.  I just— Is it so much to ask for a fucking break? Just one.” He dropped his hands onto his lap and returned his gaze to the window. “Maybe I deserved it.”

“What do you mean by that, Blaine?” She leaned forward in her chair. 

“What?” Blaine begrudgingly glanced in her direction, keeping his eyes downcast to pretend like he was not trying to notice her, before returning to gazing out at the parking lot. 

“You said ‘maybe I deserved it,’ what did you mean by that?” 

“Goddamnit, I didn’t mean to— I can’t even keep my own thoughts private either.  Everything is just out on display for everyone all the damn time!” Blaine raised his hands up in exasperation.  She offered a sincere, sympathetic half-smile in return.  He dropped his hands down into his lap and curled them into fists, tugging at the fabric of his pants.  Kurt would have a heart attack if he saw the wrinkles he was working into the material.  “I don’t want to talk about that.” 

“Alright, well can you tell me what kind of person you think deserves what happened to you?” Dr. MacManus asked politely.

“I don’t know,” Blaine replied, losing the edge in his voice.  “No one.” 

“If you believe nobody else does, then why would you think that you do, Blaine?” 

“Because,” Blaine replied automatically and pursed his lips together to try to stop the remainder of the thought.  As usual, it came tumbling out before he could stop himself.  “I’m a bad person.” 

“Why?” She pressed on. 

“Stop,” Blaine whispered.  He wanted to scream.  Wanted to rip up the ugly beige carpet she had lined her office with and hide himself away like all of the secret things you kept away from the world beneath the floorboards.

“Why do you think you’re a bad person?” Her tone was gentle, but the alarm bells in his brain still told him it felt like an attack.  She was interrogating him.  Pushing him.  Even after they had established he did not need to discuss anything he did not want to talk about. 

“Stop,” Blaine repeated, louder this time.  “Stop it.” 

“Blaine,” She set the blank legal pad aside and uncrossed her legs.  “I think you have a lot of anger and pain that you don’t know how to deal with any other way than turning it inward toward yourself.  I know you aren’t going to exactly trust me after the one session we had at the hospital, but I am on your side here.  I can’t help you if you don’t let me.  Deep down past this barrier you’ve put up I think you do want that help, or else you wouldn’t have agreed to keep seeing me once you were discharged.  I could guess at things.  I could bring up all your brother’s concerns.  But we both know unless you bring yourself to say what’s bothering you it’s not going to matter what I do or don’t know.  It has to come from you.” 

Blaine chewed on his lip and ran his fingers over the clasp of the helmet chin strap. “I think my dad hates me,” he surrendered quietly.  “I don’t know when it started, but I think that he does.  And for as long as I can remember, which— let’s be honest, that doesn’t mean much these days,” He added the small jab of self-deprecation as a joke.  She did not laugh.  “I figured there must be something wrong with me.  Something I must have done.  Because what other reason could there be? And on top of that, what do I go and do to the one person I love more than anything in this whole world? Cheat on him.  Hurt him.  So, yeah, maybe I deserved what was coming.  Maybe it was just the universe fighting back to balance the scales again.”

“And I think truly terrible things happen to very good people sometimes, Blaine.  There’s a lot to unpack here so let’s break this down a little bit, okay?” He nodded stiffly and took to chewing on his fingernails instead.  “What makes you think your father hates you?”

“Before he started completely ignoring my existence?” Blaine said bitterly before he ripped off a piece of his nail between his teeth.  He spit the fragment into his lap.  “He used to hit me and lock me in closets.  Would tell me I wasn’t his son.  After the first attack he just took to flat out ignoring and avoiding me.” He moved onto another fingernail to gnaw on.  After confessing this all to Cooper, Kurt and Finn the other day it seemed easier now to let the words come tumbling out to her.  

“I’m very sorry to hear that, Blaine.  Can you remember how old you were when this started?” 

“I don’t know, maybe like 10? Things get kind of jumbled around when I try to think about it.”

“Can you remember anything before then?” 

“Sometimes, but not really.  Bits and pieces with Cooper, but a lot of it feels,” He paused as he wracked his brain for the right word. “Fuzzy? I don’t know.” 

“Barring your physical injury, there could be a number of things attributing to that,” She said and pulled the legal pad back to her to finally begin writing on it. 

“Like what?” He shifted in his seat to sit up and a sharp jolt reverberated from his knee straight down the rest of his leg.  He grimaced and casually placed his hand over his knee as though he could press the pain back down into the synapses responsible for causing the painful response to his sudden movement.  Dr. MacManus’ eyes were on the pad, focused on writing.  She had not noticed. 

“There’s a chance your brain could have repressed certain memories, sort of like a defense mechanism.  Sometimes people are simply just unable to remember things past a certain age.  Your recent trauma, coupled with the previous assault, has also had a profound effect on you and PTSD can cause lapses in memory or blackouts.  There are some exercises we can try in later sessions, but right now I want to focus on things you can remember.  You say you think you were around 10, do you remember anything leading up to the moment?” 

“Not— No, not really,” Blaine ripped off another nail fragment and shoved his hands beneath his thighs to stop himself as Kurt’s voice sounded off in his head to dissuade him against the further mutilation.  “I just remember him shoving me in.  He was,” He squinted as though it would bring the fuzzy image into focus.  “He was angry about something, I could barely understand him, he was screaming so loud.  I couldn’t tell you what he said, it’s just this like… garbled static.” 

“Was anyone else at home?” She peered up at him, her pen still poised on the pad.

“Cooper was gone by then, moved out to LA.  My mom,” Blaine frowned and strained to recall.  “I don’t know if she was there.  I don’t think she was.  I think it was just my dad and me.” 

“Who would let you out again after he locked you in?” 

“He would,” Blaine shifted and pressed his hands down against the seat to fight the urge to start chewing on his nails again.  “I don’t know how much time would pass in between.  Progressively, I think he kept me in there longer and longer.  The harder he hit me, the longer it felt like I was in there anyways.” 

“Can you remember any happy memories with him?” 

“Some, I guess.  Mostly the ones involving Cooper.  Just me and him though? Barely.  It’s been harder to remember things like that lately.  I get… confused sometimes.  This week has been kind of tough.”

“Do you want to talk about that at all?”

Blaine squirmed and caved in, resorting to chewing on his thumb nail.  His words came rushed, just as they had last night, with very little space in between the sentences.  “I’m guessing Cooper told you about it already.  It’s been getting worse.  I can’t sleep through a single night anymore.  I forgot who Kurt was the other day.  That’s never happened before.  I wanted to die when they told me, because that’s what it felt like.  Like I’d been kicked in the chest and my heart was going to stop.  I’m terrified I’m gonna just lose it all one day.  That everything will be wiped away and I’ll just be some helpless blank slate who can’t even remember his own name.” He seemed shocked at his own admission.

“Did you mean to say that out loud?” She asked.

“I think I did, actually,” Blaine replied.  She smiled. 

“It’s difficult to accept when things are out of our control.  I have to imagine that constant fear makes it nearly impossible to concentrate, which can be why you have such a difficult time with your memories.  Again, I’m sure the physical injury has something to do with it, but you saying it’s been getting worse since the nightmares and flashbacks have been progressively getting worse leads me to believe it’s more the anxiety you’re feeling than anything else.  I want to give you a prescription for Zoloft, I think it can help with the panic attacks.” 

“Great, more meds,” Blaine grumbled.  He remembered the name from a television commercial.  “Isn’t that for depression?” 

“There’s nothing wrong with needing a little extra help sometimes, Blaine,” She smiled sympathetically.  ““It can help with PTSD and anxiety too; it’s called an SSRI.  If it’s the right medication for you then we’ll start to see a decrease in those panic attacks and feelings of fear and helplessness.”  She cast a sideways glance on the clock above the door.  “We still have a little more time; do you want to talk more about your recent break up? It seems to be weighing pretty heavily on you, based on your previous statement.  It must be really hard being around your ex with completely different dynamics.” 

Blaine hovered his palm over his mouth to hide the way his lips had tugged into a smile.  He had no clue what to call whatever was happening between him and Kurt.  The entire thing confused him to no end, but he worried bringing attention and talking about it would cause whatever good thing they had going to come to a screeching halt.  No.  He wanted to keep that for himself for now.  “Can we talk about something else?” 

“Sure, Blaine.  Have you been practicing those relaxation and grounding exercises I passed along to your brother?” 

“I try to.  Kurt’s been helping me with breathing exercises too.”  ‘I can almost do them without his help.’ The thought had remained contained within his own head for once. “I’ve been okay for the most part when I’m awake, but when I fall asleep,” He trailed off.  The image of Kurt’s face from the other morning when he had forgotten him, terrified and absolutely devastated, had become ingrained into his thoughts.  If there was anything he wished he could permanently erase, it was that pained expression.  “I can’t control what happens then.” 

“Are the nightmares about the recent attack?” 

“Most of the time.  Sometimes the first one.  Sometimes,” Blaine swallowed hard and cleared his throat quietly.  There had been more than a few nights when he could not tell which nightmares were actual memories or over exaggerated depictions of his darkest, deepest fears.  “Sometimes it’s other stuff, but mostly that.”

“Extra stress can sometimes be an added trigger.  It’s going to take some time for the Zoloft to kick in before we notice any changes.  I know it’s a difficult thing to ask, may even seem impossible, but working on managing that stress and focusing on staying relaxed is probably the best thing you can actively do right now.”

“You’re right,” Blaine restlessly brushed his fingers over his lips.  Their hour long session was starting to feel like a director’s cut version of a Lord of the Rings film.  “That does sound impossible.”

“You mentioned breathing exercises, do you do those regularly or only in response to the panic attacks?” 

“Usually after I’m already worked up or starting to feel really anxious.”

“I want you to try to incorporate it more throughout your day.  I would try to do it right before bed.  Or something you find relaxing.  I remember you mentioned your love of music at our last session?” Blaine nodded once to affirm her recollection.  “Do something you enjoy, make your bed feel like a safe place instead of treating it like somewhere you go to relive your worst memories.” 

“And if that doesn’t work?” Blaine asked apprehensively.

“Then we’ll think of something else.  One step at a time, Blaine.” 

“Yeah, well I’m not exactly taking any actual steps anywhere anytime soon,” Blaine grumbled under his breath and tugged at the chin strap.  

“I take it you got some bad news?” She inquired.  By then he’d had enough.  He could not remember what time they started, but there was no way they had not exceeded the hour. 

“Can we end here for now? I just,” He shifted in the chair again.  Within the last fifteen minutes he had grown progressively more restless and uncomfortable.  “I’m really tired and I’m just really sick of talking about myself today.” 

“Okay,” She smiled politely.  “You did really well today, Blaine.  I know it may not feel like it, but you are making progress in your recovery.”  He returned her statement with a tight lipped smile.  “Is it still okay that I talk to your brother? You still want him involved, correct?” 

“Yeah, it’s fine.  Do I need to be in here for it?” His hands were already positioned on the wheels, ready to leave.  At the first sign of her head tilting forward he was wheeling himself towards the door.  With some effort he twisted the doorknob and maneuvered his way out into the waiting room where he had left Cooper at the start of the session.  He was in the exact same chair, his legs stretched out in front of himself with his arms folded across his chest.  His head was tilted down towards his chest.  He appeared to be asleep.

“Coop?” Cooper immediately lifted his head and looked in his direction.  He looked as exhausted as Blaine felt and the fragment of the early morning conversation came fleeting from the depths of the abyss to remind him that Cooper had also not gotten much sleep the night before.  Blaine glided over to him and did not wait for a response.  “She wants to talk to you.” 

“Go okay?” Cooper unfurled his arms and stood up, stretching languidly.  

“Yeah, I guess,” Blaine shrugged.  “I’ll wait for you here.” 

Cooper gave his shoulder a gentle pat and disappeared into Dr. MacManus’ office, leaving Blaine to sift through a pile of magazines.  It was moments like this he wished he still had his phone.  He made a mental note to talk to Cooper about getting a new one sometime soon.  He glanced at a clock on the wall and was shocked to discover it was nearly half past four.  After the events of the day he was not sure where he was supposed to muster the energy from for the conversation he was still meant to have with Cooper and his mother.  If it was still happening.  Cooper had not mentioned it at all yet.  He took to wheeling himself around the table in the center of the waiting room to pass the time, trying to force himself to stop stealing glances at the clock.  The more he tried to avoid it though, the more his head jerked upwards to see that the minute hand had only moved a fraction of an inch.  

He sighed loudly and decided to go back to the pile of magazines.  At first glance, they all seemed to be outdated copies of Psychology Today.  At the very bottom of the pile, the last glossy booklet caught his attention.  The words ‘DANCE’ was written across the top in bold yellow font, with ‘The world at your feet’ in smaller text beneath it.  The text beside the man featured on the cover said ‘Andy Blankenbuehler’s Broadway.’ The subject, presumably Andy Blankenbuehler, was dressed in charcoal gray slacks and a long-sleeved white button-up dress shirt.  Both the top two and bottom two buttons were undone, letting the shirt fall loosely over his clearly toned physique.  Around his neck was an undone green and black checkered tie.  Perched atop his head was a black felt bowler hat.  He had been photographed mid pose that very much reminded Blaine of a scene straight out of Chicago, it was a classic sexy jazz pose.  He had one leg bent at a forty five degree angle, the other straight out, as his torso twisted towards the camera.  Only the profile of his face was visible, especially with the bowler hat tipped down.  One hand was positioned near the brim of the hat, his ring finger resting comfortably against the accessory to tilt it downwards.  

The image sent chills down his spine as he plucked the magazine off of the table and continued to study it in his lap.  He knew this move.  Had practiced and perfected it in his bedroom and the McKinley auditorium.  Seeing it now had ignited something in the pit of his stomach.  At first he thought it might have been jealousy or some rampant form of self-pity festering and bubbling up to remind him of the conversation from the doctor’s office earlier.  But as he continued to stare, he recognized that it was not a malicious feeling.  It was motivation.  He was not going to sit and be told what was and was not to be expected of his recovery.  They had repeatedly told him what a shock it was to see him awake from the coma with so many pieces of himself still intact.  So why should he force himself to be resigned to the possibility of never being able to dance again just because some doctor had told him so?

He was still staring at the cover by the time Cooper had returned with Dr. MacManus at his side.  “Ready to go?” 

Blaine glanced up at them and nodded.  “Dr. MacManus, can I keep this?” He held up the magazine.

“Sure, Blaine.  Nobody usually reads them anyways.  Enjoy it.” 

They said their goodbyes and confirmed the next appointment set for Tuesday.  In the car, Blaine had kept the magazine propped on his lap and silently continued to study the image as Cooper drove.  The radio volume had been set so low the music was barely audible, causing a strange white-noise sensation to fill the space surrounding them.  As Cooper pulled onto the highway, Blaine’s eyes were still on the cover as he spoke, “I don’t care what they say, I’m gonna dance again, Coop.” 

“I know you are, Blaine.”

_______________________________________

This is the magazine cover

#and the world spins madly on #update #klaine #blaine anderson #kurt hummel #syntheticpoetry writes #syntheticpoetry #glee #blangst #angst #hurt/comfort #klaine breakup #traumatic injury #traumatic brain injury #klaine romance #dysfunctional family #cooper anderson #isabelle wright #finn hudson #burt hummel #WIP

[midnightartemis]

~Chapter Six~

Read Me Here 

View A03 for warnings

No one ever picked her.

She’d gotten so used to it that the thought of anyone ever actually choosing her, wanting to hang out with her, wanting to just be with her made her head hurt. It just wasn’t possible. It felt like a prank. Like someone was going to jump out of the bushes and it would all be some massive joke to them. To him. That she wanted to feel wanted. That she wanted.

She can feel his eyes on her like a gentle caress. He keeps looking at her and she doesn’t understand why so she stares at the stars instead until she works up the courage to look back.

He doesn’t look away. Doesn’t pretend to not be drinking in every bit of her he can take. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?” Ben plays it innocently.

“Like…” Like I hold all your answers to the universe. Like I’m as fragile and as strong as I feel. Like you want to tell me all your secrets. Like I can say mine back. Like the night makes room for the light. Rey swallows and looks back up at the stars. “I don’t know. Never mind.”

He lets it go. She knows what he’s doing. She knows he’s slowly trying to gain her trust. And she’s letting him do it. She’s falling for it every time.

“I dropped out. I didn’t blow up the chem lab. There was a small incident involving cesium and a misunderstanding. But… no one got hurt and no one cared.”

“Why’d you drop out then?”

“I… Everything went to shit after my dad died. I moved back with her for a bit after that. I was going to UC in Coruscant where she lived anyway. But that meant leaving Corellia. Leaving the others.” Ben shook his head. “I think I reminded her too much of him. Cause moving in with her only made it worse. And I was so angry. So alone. And nothing got better when I moved into the dorms so I dropped out.”

Rey let her hand creep slowly across the hood of the car until she felt his skin brush against hers. It sent a warm buzz up her arm like she was touching a low voltage live wire. Her heart raced as his pinky overlapped with hers. She dared not look at him and she slipped her hand completely into his. “You’re not alone. Not anymore.”

“Neither are you.”

Rey met his warm eyes. If he was playing games with her, he didn’t show it. Maybe his poker face was pro-level. Maybe he really believed he wanted her. She chose to believe him. She chose to trust the ache in her heart.

“I haven’t told my mom yet though,” Ben says. “I haven’t talked to her in a while. I don’t even think she knows where I am.”

“What’s she like?”

He plays with his finger over her hand, dragging it back and forth over her skin. “I blamed her for a lot of things growing up. For leaving my dad. For leaving me with him. For not fighting hard enough for me. She’s… I’ve never been her first priority. It was better if I just fucked off in Corellia. She’ll love you though.”

Rey’s throat tightened. He wanted her to meet his mom. He wanted-

“She will?”

Her voice comes out tight and high. She didn’t know what scared her more- that he wanted her to meet his mom or that she wanted to.

“Yeah.” Ben rolled over to face her, so close he could just lean down to kiss her. Rey didn’t move. “I think you owe me two secrets.”

Rey bit back a smile as she thought back to that night on the couch. “I don’t have that many.”

“I’m sure there is something.”

Rey sighed but only succeeded in catching the musky, rich scent of him.  She let herself look at him. Let herself wonder what it would feel like to run her fingers through his hair. To have him on top of her. “I steal slushies from the 7-Eleven.”

“Red and blue ones.” Ben grins.

“Yeah.”

“That’s one.”

Rey glanced at his lips. “And… I want to kiss you.”

“That’s not a secret.” Ben gives a low laugh.

Rey rolled her eyes and shoved his shoulder. “You’re a dick.”

“That’s also not a secret, sweetheart.” He’s close enough for her to feel the heat of his breath against her lips.

“I gave the first guy who kissed me a black eye.”

“Poor bastard.” Ben’s lips brushed against hers like a promise. Her body came to life at his touch. Rivers of want pooled in her core. She wanted nothing more than to drag him closer.

“He deserved it,” Rey whispered.

“I have no doubt.”

She pressed herself up to meet his warm lips. He took her in with a small gasp of surprise. She kissed him softly, her lips explored his, her tongue darting out to taste. A whimper escaped her lips as his tongue greedily pushed back. Rey lifted her hand to caress his cheek and lips when she broke away for a breath.

“Is this okay?” Ben breathes, his eyes hooded as he looks down at her. Rey doesn’t answer as she finally– finally– runs her fingers through incredibly soft, thick, raven hair. She pulls him down to meet her.

He’s being careful; his hands stay away from her, his lips soft against the cut on her lip. She doesn’t want that anymore. She can’t worry about this all being a big joke at her expense because it can’t be. Because no one kisses like this when they’re joking. No one is this gentle when they don’t give a fuck.

She breaks away just barely, her lips brushing against his as she whispers, “Touch me.”

His eyes, dark with need, met hers as his hand trailed over her hips and waist skipping over her chest to brush over her jaw and set her skin on fire. “Please, please, please promise you’ll tell me if you want me to stop. I won’t– I can’t– if anything happens to you because of me…”

“I promise.” Rey runs her thumb against the prickly dark stubble on his chin and caresses his wet lips. “I want this.”

Even if it’s just for the night. Even if I wake up tomorrow and you’re gone like everyone else. Even if it’s only to win a stupid bet and take what Kuruk thought was his.

When Ben kisses her again, everything has changed. His tongue and lips devour her, his teeth nibble and pull gently at her lip. His hands pull her closer, impossibly close, until she feels the weight of him on top of her. Her mind is lost in a chaotic orchestra of touch and taste and sound. All she wants is to get closer to him. Her hands drift from his hair to his back, her fingertips exploring the planes of muscle over his shirt. She shifts her hips until he’s completely on top of her half lying between her legs on the hood of his car. She moans into his mouth as his free hand drifts down to hold her waist and pull her in. Heat pools between her legs and begs for friction as she hitches her legs around his waist and cants her hips.

“Fuck, Rey.”

She doesn’t understand how he’s still speaking. All words are gone from her head, all she knows is him.

His lips leave her mouth and kiss sloppy trails down her neck as she wantonly grinds against him. She desperately tries to pull him closer, to feel him against her. Her short nails claw down his back and Ben groans against her ear.

Rey curses softly as hot tendrils of fire twist down her spine to her core.

“Want you.”

She whimpers as Ben pulls away instead, his hot breaths coming out as shuttering pants. “Fuck.”

He shudders and rests his head against her shoulder, cursing softly again. “I don’t have a condom.”

“I…” Rey stopped herself. She had the pill but it had been days since she took it. It was still back at Plutt’s anyways. All of her stuff was. Not that any of it was of any value. “We can get some. Or, go back to the apartment. Or…”

“We can wait. It can wait. I don’t want to rush you. I don’t want to rush us.” Ben swallowed nervously as he looked down at her.

Rey frowned. “Have you never-”

Ben went quiet, his mind drifting off elsewhere. “It’s just been a while.”

“Oh.”

“Have you… ever…”

Rey looks away from him, unable to take in his reaction as she shakes her head. “No. I’ve just- I’ve never been able to let anyone touch me before.”

Ben goes quiet.

“Did I do something wrong?”

She hates it. She hates how desperate she sounds. How quiet he got. She can barely see him in the dark, can’t make out the look on his face.

“I don’t think you could ever do anything wrong,” Ben says quietly. “I’m the one who fucks up in this. I’m the one who fucks up everything good in my life.”

His words settle around her in a heavy haze that she can’t quite comprehend. She means something to him. She means something and she can’t understand why.

“We should go back,” she whispers, “before Trudge and Ushar burn the place down.”

Ben laughs softly and the haze dissipates. “They probably shouldn’t be left alone.”

“The death threats do get worse when they play Mortal Kombat.”

Ben slides off of her to the ground and offers her a hand to help her down. Rey takes it without hesitation.

They wind back down the foothill in the dark. Rey abandons the passenger seat for the middle, getting as close to Ben as she can with a shifter in the way. His forearm rests across her thighs, his hand in the shift stick. She can’t stop herself from watching his hands flex as he shifts between gears. It could be classified as torture to watch.

He keeps wiggling beside her uncomfortably. Rey notices after about the sixth time when they come to a stop. She raises her brow and Ben sheepishly shifts again. “I… might have to take a cold shower when we get back.”

“Don’t worry. Seeing Kuruk is enough of a cold shower.”

Ben laughs and Rey’s grin turns stupidly big. She wants to hear him laugh for the rest of her life. She can’t seem to wipe the grin off her face as they cruise through the mostly vacant side streets of Corellia.

A sinking twisting feeling engulfs her when she sees APs car in the parking lot. He’d be up there. Kuruk would be up there— though he had looked so blitzed he might not remember anything by morning. Trudge and Ushar… well, she could always count on them to be blissfully oblivious to everything, but the moment they caught on, she’d never hear the end of it. She’d have to break their boards again. It was the reason she never got with any of them before— it was too messy. There was too much room for awkwardness. It would be too easy for her to become nothing but a thing to them. Some conquest to boast about.

Ben shuts off the car and starts to get out before he notices that she’s not moving. She’s just looking up at the few lit windows of the apartment, biting her lip. Contemplating. Everything had happened so quickly. She hadn’t even meant to show up to the park. She just kinda did. Because it was natural. Because she wanted to see him again. Because she needed one part of her life to not hurt for a second.

A dark part of her had wanted Ben to find out. It knew that Ben would fly into a rage– the same way he had when he saw Kuruk grabbing her at the party. It was the same dark part of her that had fantasized about feeding Plutt his heart medication until he choked on it. Or running him through with a knife. Or squeezing his bulbous excuse of a neck until those beady eyes popped out.

She stopped Ben from doing that the same way she always stopped herself. They were the outcasts. Society's scapegoats. The fingers would always, eventually, land on them.

Rey hadn’t planned to stay at the loft. That’s why she hadn’t packed. Hadn’t left a well crafted false trail of her plans to run away. But when Ben looked at her like that– when just touching him flipped the switch from beast to man– she couldn’t imagine going back.

And then they kissed and he bought her McDonald’s and took her to a place no one else knew about and told her his secrets and fuck she knew that was a low bar but no one had ever given her anything. Trusted her. Wanted her.

Her heart was racing as her throat constricted and Ben was asking her what was wrong and it was all too much. It was all- Her hand was on the door handle and she was out of the car and running across the parking lot to the giant field of dead grass. She ran until her lungs screamed and her legs threatened to give out.

“Maker. Fuck, you’re fast.”

She would have lost her breath if it wasn’t gone already as she turned to see Ben keeled over and huffing behind her. She could barely make out his shape in the dim light from the moon and distant city lights.

He came after me.

“Rey, come back to the car. I’m about ninety-nine percent sure there’s rattlesnakes out here.”

He raced out here after me when I acted like a crazy person and ran.

“Please talk to me. Say something.” He sounded desperate. Terrified.

Why?

“It’s… I…” The words barely crossed her lips. “Is this– Do you know about the bet?”

“What bet?”

“The one the guys made about me.”

Ben goes still and quiet and a choked sob escapes from her lips. “No! No. I wasn’t in on it. I wasn’t. They told me about it. Kuruk bragged about it. Rey, I would never do that to you. Come back to the loft, please.”

“Am I just some game to, I don’t know, fucking assert your dominance?”

“No.” He said it in a way that told her he already had.

“Then why did you come after me.”

“Why did I– of course, I came after you. You ran into the middle of a fucking snake-infested field at two in the morning, Rey! Can we please talk about this somewhere else? Please?”

Her heart still raced as her mind desperately tried to believe, to understand what he was saying to her.

“Rey, please. I haven’t stopped thinking about you from the moment I first saw you.”

She remembered that moment deep in her soul. Like the universe had shifted around her.

“I wanted to murder Kuruk because he kept making you uncomfortable. I almost did when I saw him grabbing you. And if I’ve done anything ever to make you feel like that I will throw myself off a bridge. And I know, I know that you can fend for yourself. That you’re strong and powerful and terrifying sometimes. But you shouldn’t have to all the time. You don’t have to be alone.”

You’re not alone.

“I’m not going to leave unless you want me to.” In the darkness, Ben reached his hand out to her. Hands shaking, Rey reached back.

When her fingers brush against him, everything hits her all at once. Her stomach twists as her heart aches. Her tears which she had stubbornly kept from falling crashed over her cheeks in rivers. She felt powerful and powerless at the same time like she could rule the world or it could crumble beneath her feet. The control that she so tightly clung to began to slip from her hands to his.

She might have kissed him again if there wasn’t the telltale rattle of a very angry rattlesnake to her left. They both froze, not daring to breathe as the rattle grew louder. She couldn’t tell where the creature was in the tall, dark sea of grasses.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck

Her lungs tightened as her legs refused to move, her eyes searching the darkness for some sort of movement. Anything to give her a clear idea of where the beast could be. She didn’t know what she would do when she found it. She didn’t think she could do anything.

It was only when Ben yanked on her arm that she turned and sprinted back towards the lights of the loft. His hand never left hers as he pulled her along. Kept her feet moving, even as her lungs burned from lack of air. They didn’t stop until they reached pavement.

“Are… you… okay?” Ben gasped beside her as she wheezed.

She couldn’t speak, only nod frantically. It was several minutes before she fully caught her breath again. Several minutes to bask in her own sheer stupidity. He must be thinking that she was a psycho. No sane person just randomly runs into the middle of a field because they’re scared of a little commitment. Right?

He came after you. That has to stand for something. That has to.

Rey closed her eyes and pressed her face into her hands. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that. I do, actually, but it’s stupid. I’m stupid. Fuck. I’m sorry.”

“You’re not the only one who runs when things get scary,” Ben says quietly. He doesn’t elaborate, only takes her hand in his and leads her inside.

I run away when things are good

And never really understood

The way you laid your eyes on me

In ways that no one ever could

And so it seems I broke your heart

My ignorance has struck again

I failed to see it from the start

And tore you open 'til the end

And I'm sorry to my unknown lover

Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really

Starts to fall in love with me

Sorry to my unknown lover

Sorry I could be so blind

Didn't mean to leave you

And all of the things that we had behind

- Sorry , Halsey

#reylo #kylo x rey #ben solo x rey #reylo fanfiction #reylo fanfic

[non-binary-nightmare]

Pills: Chapter 8

It’ll be a double upload today!!

If you just found this story, check out the other chapters! Give it a shot!

Chpt 1 Chpt 2 Chpt 3 Chpt 4 Chpt 5 Chpt 6 Chpt 7 Chpt 9 Chpt 10

Warnings: If you thought last chapter was bad... I’m sorry for what I’m about to do to you guys.. unsympathtic!Patton; Small panic attacks; Kidnapping; mentions of chloroform; mentions of blood; cliff hanger

---

"Virgil?" Deceit said, rushing over to him. "Virgil hun what's wrong?" Virgil grabbed ahold of Deceit. "Dad- and- Ro- they-" Virgil was having trouble catching his breath. He was on the brink of a panic attack. "Virgil honey. Listen to me, it'll be okay. Just try and breathe." Deceit said, cradling Virgil. "You can tell me later. Just try and calm down." Deceit said.

Eventually, Virgil fell asleep.

Deceit layed Virgil down on the bed and left the room.

He went to the living room to find the others.

---

"Well what do you mean-" Remus was shouting but as soon as he saw Deceit, he stopped talking. "Uhh Dee?" Remus asked. "You okay?"

Deceit looked at Remus, then at Logan, who was still crying, and nodded, slowly looking back at Remus. "Yeah, I'm okay. It's just that, Virgil has just shown up in my room. He fell asleep after having some sort of a mini panic attack. But I think something happened between Patton and Roman.”

“Is he younger again or..?”

“He’s younger. I’m not sure what happened but I think we should go check on them.” Deceit said. “Then let’s go.” Logan said, wiping off his tears and standing up. “Why? So you can stand up for your boyfriend and protect him? I don’t think so.” Deceit said, aggressively. “Dad listen, this has all been a misunderstanding.” Remus said, standing between Deceit and Logan. “After we go check on Roman, we can talk this through. Okay?” Deceit glared at Logan. “Fine.” He said, heading up the stairs, the other two following suit.

Once they got to Virgil’s room, they saw Roman lying on the ground, face slightly bloody. “Roman!” Remus said, running to him. “I’m- I’m okay. Virgil- check on him-” Roman said, trying to sit up. “I’ll go.” Deceit said, quickly leaving the room to check on Virgil. “Roman what happened?” Logan asked, checking Roman’s injuries. “I’m fine- really..”

His lip was slightly busted and his nose was bleeding. “Roman I’m going to need you to tilt your head forward. It looks like your nose is broken.“ Logan said, helping Roman sit up. “Logan listen, I’m fine-”

“You are not fine. Listen to what he says.” Remus said. “Fine..” Roman said. “Tell us what happened.” Logan said. “Well, it seems you were right about Patton being pretty strong..” Roman said, half-laughing. Logan sighed.

“This isn’t funny, Roman. What did he do?” Remus asked. “Well, apart from punching me in the face? He slapped me first. Then he-then that’s when Virgil woke up and was little again. When Virgil left we- started arguing. He kept saying that I was getting in the way of his ‘perfect family’ or something like that.” Roman said.

“He’s been getting more and more adamant about that.” Logan stated. “We should check on Virgil and Deceit.” Roman said. “You stay here and rest. You’ve been through enough. I’ll go. If Patton has done something to one of them, and is still there, I can take whatever it is he might try and do.” Logan said, standing up. “No- Logan you’ve been through the most. Let’s all go.” Roman suggested. “No, you need to rest and Remus should stay and make sure you stay. I’m going.” Logan protested. “But Lo-”

“Roman, just let it go. You need to take a break.”

“Oh bullshit! I’ve had worse injuries!” Roman said, trying to stand up. Remus kept trying to get him to sit back down. “They were in the imagination, Ro. You healed up quicker because of it. And it’s not like it was some major injury! You can still die in the imagination!” Remus said. “Fine.. I’ll stay here.” Roman said in defeat. “Thank you.” Logan said, leaving.

---

*A little bit after Deceit left Virgil’s room.*

Deceit ran into his room and saw Virgil sleeping peacefully. “Oh thank god..” Deceit sighed. “You thought you could get away with it, did you?” Before Deceit could turn around, a wet rag was covering his face. Patton held the rag on Deceit’s mouth while he struggled.

Deceit was strong.

But Patton was stronger.

In about five minutes, Deceit was unconscious.

Patton put the rag in his pocket and began to drag Deceit away.

----

*About 10 minutes after what you just witnessed*

Logan walked into Deceit’s room. He saw Virgil, but he didn’t see Deceit. “Shit.” Logan muttered. “What?” Virgil said quietly as he woke up. “Hey, Virge.. Can you go to your room? Roman and Remus are in there. They are waiting for you.” Logan said. Virgil nodded and left to go into his room.

Logan left and went into the imagination, looking for Patton and Deceit.

-----

*About half an hour later*

Deceit woke up in what appeared to be Patton’s room. He was laying on the bed. Deceit stood up and tried to leave but the door was locked. “Help!! Let me out!!!” Deceit yelled, banging on the door. “Why can’t I leave!?” Deceit yelled as he tried to sink out. “You can try all you want but you won’t be able to leave! Sorry I had to leave and lock you up, I needed to get a few things.” Patton yelled through the other side of the door. “What the hell!? Let me out!” Deceit yelled. “I’m not going to let you out, but I’m going to come in. I just wanna talk. But you have to promise me that you won’t be so aggressive!” Patton said, taking out his keys. “Fine! Just let me out!” Deceit said. “I’m not letting you out, I’m just coming in the room.” Patton said, unlocking the door.

Immediately, Deceit was charging through the door, knocking Patton to the ground. “You promised you wouldn’t be aggressive!!” Patton said as he pulled out his knife and began chasing after him.

----

Virgil walked into his room and saw Roman and Remus sitting on the bed talking. “Virgil!” Remus said, picking him up. “Where’s Logan? Or Deceit?” Roman asked. Virgil shrugged. Remus sat Virgil down on the bed. “Did they not come back with you?” Remus asked. Virgil shook his head. “Dammit! I told you I should’ve gone with him!” Roman yelled, causing Virgil to jump. “Calm down.” Remus said sternly.

“Did Deceit and Logan leave together?” Remus asked.

Virgil shook his head. “Did Logan leave by himself?” Virgil nodded.

“Shit.” Remus muttered. “Roman, stay here with Virgil please?” Remus said. “Okay..” Roman said quietly. “Thank you.” Remus said as he left in search for Logan and Deceit.

----

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[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Episode 2: Annihilator

Here we go again. My thoughts with approximate time stamps for episode 2.

SPOILERS AHEAD

0:45 - I really wonder how he sanitizes that mouthguard. I mean he spits it onto the floor a lot. Also - being able to watch Tom Payne workout is a gift. 

1:15 - I feel you my dude. Rip up that affirmation. Some of them are more triggering than helpful. Also - he takes so many pills. :( 

1:46 - Why didn’t Gil ever have kids of his own??!? He’s SOOO good with them and this world needs more GOOD parents. 

2:25 - Poor Malcolm. Between his nightmares and his overbearing (but well-meaning) mother - he never gets a break. He somehow manages to look both exasperated and resigned in this scene. 

2:55 - The way Malcolm’s eyes light up at the mention of a murder is mildly concerning. 

3:04 - What was Malcolm writing here?!? Why was his note pad out?

3:30 - Shaky hand. :( 

3:50 - Bro you totally just sold yourself out. Mom definitely knows you’ve been seeing your dad now. 

5:08 - “Sometimes it’s just a tragedy to be endured.” I’ll be honest. This line resonates with me. Chills.

5:30 - “City boy.” First of all - love the nickname. It’s adorable. Secondly, I want the whole history of that nickname. Seriously - when did it start and why? 

6:00 - Gil’s relationship with Malcolm is truly a thing of wonder. He somehow manages to be kind, professional, and lighthearted with Malcolm while simultaneously exuding an air of concern. Plus there’s usually this look in Gil’s eyes when Malcolm tells Gil he’s fine. It’s a look that says “I can smell your lies kid but I’ll grill you about them later.”

6:15 - “Oh HELL no.” JT makes me smile almost every time he’s on screen. Also - Malcolm’s smile in this scene is hella manic. It’s very concerning.

7:35 - This interaction between Malcolm and Edrisa is very uncomfortable. The awkwardness of their early interactions is why I can never ship Maldrisa. It feels too much like a teenage girl crushing on her high school math teacher. It’s borderline creepy.

8:47 - Seriously? If he was too close to the body a minute ago he’s definitely too close right now. Also - the wires sewn into that man’s mouth are horrifying. 

9:40 - Dude. Why are you picking up an unknown phone call in the middle of a work meeting?!? If it’s not a family member (who knows you’re at work) do not pick up. If it’s important they’ll leave a message. 

9:47 - Better question is “How did you get my number?”. 

10:00 - The best part of this scene is how Gil looks at Malcolm while Malcolm is on the phone. The concern there is palpable.

10:07 - *sigh* that hand shake. Martin makes him so upset. 

10:20 - Martin always makes everything about him. It’s infuriating. Fathers shouldn’t do that. Especially when they’re talking to their children.

11:15 - That. Is. So. Screwed Up. 

11:50 - That’s not reassuring Malcolm. “They’re very poisonous.”

12:15 - This is why I have a hard time getting behind the “Malcolm is also a killer/he helped his Dad kill people” theories that some fans have. Look at how he treats Edrisa. Watch how concerned he looks. His eyes. You can’t fake that level of sincerity.

13:50 - JT has really nice arms. Like dang. Those are fine. 

14:28 - I’m sorry but last episode you flipped at the FBI board because your Dad is a sociopath not a psychopath....now he is a psychopath? Furthermore, you will never refer to him as a sociopath again (as of April 7/2020) so why was he a sociopath in the pilot!?!?

14:40 - Malcolm uses humour as a defence mechanism. Something about that makes me really sad. 

15:30 - Gil knows and Gil is concerned. I love this. 

15:50 - Mr.David needs a raise. I love how this scene really shows the second side of Martin though. The angry killer. The one who loses control.

17:00 - Dang. Liam’s kind of cute. 

17:30 - Very blunt Bright. Maybe not the best approach to break the news. But I get that you were trying to catch him off guard and see his reaction.

19:30 - Liam’s not that cute anymore. Don’t throw poisonous snakes at someone man. That’s not cool.

19:50 - So apparently there’s something wrong with me because watching Malcolm suffer from that snake bite warmed my cold, dead heart. I am a whump whore. 

20:50 - Poor Malcolm. He’s so disoriented. :(

21:35 - Gil. You don’t just have a guy in the ER. You have a son in the ER.

22:40 - The sibling interaction here is everything. It’s authentic. It’s sweet. It’s how real siblings who have been through trauma together act. I love everything about this scene. 

25:10 - This conversation is so interesting to me. Martin doesn’t deny that he did something to Malcolm. But he does deny drugging his son. Which really makes you wonder what happened to Malcolm as a kid. Because from Malcolm’s memories/flashbacks Martin did drug him. What else did Martin do to him? 

26:30 - Martin will say anything to keep Malcolm in the room with him. He’s desperate for company. Really makes you wonder how much of the truth we hear from Martin. How much of what he says is just fodder that Martin thinks will prolong a conversation?

26:40 - No. No. This I won’t believe. Martin didn’t love his children or his wife. If he did he wouldn’t still purposely be causing them emotional turmoil. 

28:20 - Gil’s concern for Malcolm just multiplied by about a million. Holy crap. So did mine. Malcolm looks positively manic here. I want to give him a hug.

29:00 - “You know that.” That line breaks my heart. It implies that Gil and Malcolm have had conversations about how hard it is for Malcolm to make and maintain friendships. 

29:07 - JT gives Malcolm a look here. You can tell that he cares about Bright. And he is so annoyed that Bright wormed his way into his heart.

30:30 - My mom has this theory that people should be forced to get a licence before having kids (to get this licence you must go through training and pass a psych eval). At this very moment I agree. Men like this dude shouldn’t be allowed to have children. 

32:00 - Why isn’t JT in this scene? Where did he go?

32:40 - STOP STANDING AROUND. GO HELP THOSE CHILDREN.

34:00 - Another reason I believe Malcolm isn’t a killer. Look at his face when that little girl regains consciousness. Just look. That is relief. The way he interacts with the kid indicates that he likes kids. That he’s good with kids. .....also side note Dani hugging that little girl is precious <3 

35:00 - The Gil and Malcolm sit down I wanted the WHOLE episode. Gil’s face. Malcolm’s honesty. My heart is full. 

36:30 - Malcolm really can’t seem to take care of himself. Yikes. Don’t drink if you’re on meds buddy. Also the little shoulder rub that Gil gives Malcolm fuels my soul. 

37:30 - “Don’t make it weird.” I don’t think she can buddy. She’s already watching you strap yourself into the bed. 

37:40 - Malcolm’s explanation for his restraints + his panicked assurance that he has had sex + his soft spoken question to Dani (”Is this the craziest thing you’ve ever seen?”) is so freaking perfect. You can see how desperately he wants Dani to like him (friend or more, you choose I’m not having that debate) and you can also see that Dani isn’t judging him for his coping mechanisms. It’s the kind of friendship we all deserve.

39:10 - I think that Malcolm’s flashback/memory/dream here is important. It shows us that a) Martin was manipulating everyone, even his wife and b) although Jessica can be brusque, overbearing, and a little cold she genuinely cares about and loves her son. 

.....this got really long. Yikes. I thought I was restraining myself too. I honestly could’ve gone into a LOT more detail but I was trying to be brief (which clearly didn’t work). 

Anyways, I’ll try to post some more of these over the weekend but it’s Easter so I make no promises (hahaha not that anyone is waiting eagerly for these posts)

If you read any of this - thanks and I’m sorry for the rambling, poor grammar, and statements of the obvious.  

#prodigal son #jess-rewatches-prodigal #malcolm bright #ainsley whitly #jessica whitly #martin whitly #gil arroyo #jt tarmel #edrisa tanaka #dani powell #i love this show #whump #rewatch #spoilers #annihilator #1x2 #s1

[stephfights]

Sickness....and boredom

Hello all!  I want to start off by saying thank you!  The amount of calls, texts, cards, gifts, prayers, etc. is just overwhelming.  I love every one of them.  You don’t know what it means to me when I am having a bad day and my phone chimes and it is a sweet text from friends, family or one of my sweet work kiddos (shoutout to Hunter!)  Or when my dad brings in the mail and shows me the cards that are sent.....some from people I don’t even know.  The outpouring of love and support is humbling and I wont ever be able to say thank you enough. 

This round of chemo has been much harder than the first.  The first 3 days I was just totally exhausted and weak.  Day 4 came and it was the worst day I have ever had in my life.  I was so weak and my bones were hurting so bad.  I have never felt pain like that.  And the vomiting and diarrhea.  Oh you wouldn’t believe the vomiting and diarrhea.  As my husband was holding me up on the toilet and I had a trash can on the floor between my legs I understood what it meant to be pumped full of poison, brought to the edge of death and having to fight my way back out.  I begged.  I begged to live.  I begged to die.  And my husband just stood there and held me up and told me to hang on, that I was going to be okay.  People....that is what love is.  I never ever thought we would be in this position.  I was so embarrassed.  But he assures me that it’s okay. 

After that day of hell I was exhausted.   Then came Tuesday.  The day of constant diarrhea.  I have never been so tired of looking at my bathroom!  I have medications for all of my symptoms.  But I have to take them a certain way and I can only take so many.  When I finally did all I could do I had to call the on call Doctor at 12:30 AM.  He was so nice and told me that I could take 2 more pills.  If that didn’t work then I would have to go to the hospital.  I took the last of the meds and it FINALLY stopped the diarrhea.  I was very thankful for that.  I still have a touch of diarrhea but nothing like it was.  Hopefully I am on the up swing now and each day will get better and better.  Of course then I go back for round 3 on Jan. 21.  Sigh.

One of the other terrible things I have found out by being a chemo patient is the boredom.  OMG....I am SO bored!  You can only read so many magazines and books, watch so much tv and movies or surf the internet.  And I have learned that the internet is evil.  Especially Ebay!  Apparently when I am incredibly bored I shop.  And I do not like to lose on an auction.  So I had to fess up today to the hubby and let him know that some charges are going to be hitting the ole bank account.  I know I have to reign it in...but it is the only fun I have right now!  He just laughed at me!  I sure do love that man.

So I am waiting on day 14 post chemo.  That is freedom day!  The day I finally get out from under quarantine.  The first week I am so tired and sick I can’t go out.  Day 7-12 is the most critical.  That is when my immune system is at it’s lowest and I have have to be super careful.  Day 13 is rest and prepare day.  And day 14 is sweet freedom!  I have sat today and thought about what I want to do and where I want to go.  I’m still not sure yet.  Any suggestions?

I do want to especially thank Lexi.  She is one of my work kiddos who has been with me for over 4 years now.  She came to visit me on Monday and it was so nice to see her.  I am so proud of her and the woman she is becoming.    If anyone wants to come visit I would love that.  BUT....you have to text or call to see if I am having a good day and am able to have visitors.  I never know day to day how I will feel and I have to be so careful with germs. 

I feel like I have rambled tonight.  But hey....I have chemo brain!  Lol!   Love to all!

Steph

[splendidlyimperfect]

It’s been thirteen years since Natsu and Gray met in a program for troubled youth - since they both fell apart and helped put each other back together. Now they’re married and happy, loving each other and the shared family they found. But the past doesn’t always stay past, and when the things that broke them come back into their lives, Natsu and Gray have difficult decisions to make - ones that could change their lives forever.

Chapter Summary: Natsu and Gray deal with the aftermath of their fight.

Chapters (9/?): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster, Rogue Cheney/Sting Eucliffe, Laxus Dreyar/Freed Justine, Cana Alberona/Lucy Heartfilia, Chelia Blendy/Wendy Marvell Characters: Natsu Dragneel, Gray Fullbuster, Rogue Cheney, Sting Eucliffe, Freed Justine, Laxus Dreyar, Wendy Marvell, Chelia Blendy, Ultear Milkovich, Lyon Vastia, Lucy Heartfilia, Cana Alberona Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aged-Up Character(s), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Married Couple, Established Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Drug Addiction, Mental Health Issues, Foster Care, Family Issues, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, Grief/Mourning, Childhood Trauma, Bipolar Disorder, Adoption, Families of Choice, Nonbinary Character, Trans Character, Genderfluid Character, Forgiveness, Absent Parents, they're really in love but are sometimes dumb, Natsu is a stubborn shit Series: Part 14 of the only hope for me is you, Part 3 of if you jump i'll break your fall

**TW for brief mention of suicide attempt and child abuse

-----

Gray woke up alone. A thin ray of morning sunlight spilled through the window, and Happy was curled up next to him, purring contentedly. It took Gray a second to realize that he was still dressed in yesterday’s clothes.

“Hey, you,” he said to Happy, voice hoarse as he pushed himself up and ran his fingers through his hair. His eyes were swollen from crying, and when he rubbed his face, his skin felt tight and uncomfortable.

A clattering sound from the kitchen filled Gray with a sense of relief – Natsu was still here. Gray stretched, then stood up and took a deep breath before heading out into the living room.

Natsu stood in the kitchen, staring dully at a spot on the counter. The only sound in the apartment was the soft hiss of the coffee machine and the quiet hum of the washing machine from down the hallway.

“Hey,” Gray said, moving closer to Natsu and reaching out for him hesitantly. Natsu looked up at Gray with red eyes, giving him a soft smile before pulling him into an embrace. The tension in Gray’s body slowly melted away as he let himself relax in Natsu’s arms.

“You hungry?” Natsu asked, nodding at the fridge. “I can make pancakes.”  

Gray shook his head. “My stomach hurts,” he mumbled into Natsu’s shoulder.

“Mine too,” Natsu said, kissing Gray’s temple. “C’mon, let’s go sit down.”

Continue reading on AO3

Gray grabbed both cups of coffee and followed Natsu into the living room where they both curled up on the couch. Natsu yawned, rubbing his face and then pulling his sleeves down over his hands.

“That’s my sweater,” Gray said, sipping his coffee.

“Mm.” Natsu picked at a loose thread in the blanket. “I just...”

Guilt welled up in Gray’s chest and he set his coffee down on the table, then took Natsu’s hand. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I didn’t mean them.”

“You did,” Natsu said, shaking his head. “It’s okay,” Natsu reassured Gray quickly, squeezing his hand. “I was the one who was an ass. I shouldn’t have lied to you about my dad; I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.” He swallowed, keeping his gaze on their joined hands. “I didn’t plan on talking to him, I wasn’t lying about that, I promise.”

Gray shifted closer, pushing the blanket out of the way and wrapping his arm around Natsu. Natsu sighed, tipping his head against Gray’s and running his thumb over Gray’s knuckles.

“I just kept thinking about him. And you kept saying he could be dangerous, and it just... it made me feel stupid. I know you’re just looking out for me – I know that, but sometimes I just feel like this—like all I do is make mistakes, and hold you back, and you’re stuck taking care of me.”

“Natsu,” Gray said gently, pulling him closer.

“And you saying that it’s true, that I am too much sometimes—”

“That’s not—”

“Sorry, no, that’s not what I meant.” Natsu shook his head. “I just mean... you’re allowed to be overwhelmed, that’s not your fault.”

“It’s not your fault either.”

“I know that. But it’s still a lot for you. I just... I’m so, so scared that one day you’re gonna get sick of dealing with me. That everyone is. Like everyone has this invisible counter and I use up chances with them every time I fuck up, and when that counter runs out, they’re going to leave.”

“I’m never going to leave you,” Gray insisted.

Natsu swallowed, squeezing Gray’s hand. “Please don’t take this the wrong way,” he said softly, “but I don’t know if I’ll ever really be able to believe that.”

A pang of hurt twisted in Gray’s chest. “Natsu, I—”

“It’s not you,” Natsu said quickly. “But so many people have left me. Not just my dad, but everyone who was supposed to be there for me. And every time I got moved or sent somewhere else, they told me I was too much. Too much work, too much trouble, too much to deal with.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Gray murmured, kissing the top of Natsu’s head.

“It’s why I stayed with Don,” Natsu said, running his fingers across the ring of circular scars across his right wrist. A flash of anger sparked through Gray as he recalled Natsu talking to his old social worker, telling her about how his foster father had held his arm down and burned him with the end of his cigarette as punishment for coming home late. “I was just tired of moving,” Natsu said softly. “I was tired of being too much. And then…” His gaze moved to his left arm, where the scars from the fire covered the one that had remained after he’d tried to take his life.

“I know,” Gray said, trying not to think of that terrifying day. “And I’m so sorry I brought that up – it wasn’t fair.”

“No, it’s okay,” Natsu said. “I think about it sometimes. How scared you must have been, finding me like that, and then you just… you took me in, let me stay, and you loved me, and…” His voice wavered and he touched his wedding band. “I’d never felt like that before. Being loved like that, I mean. You were the first person to tell me that you loved me since my dad.”

Gray wrapped both arms around Natsu and held him as tight as possible, fighting against the tears that were threatening to resurface again. “I do love you,” he whispered. “So, so much, and I’m never going to stop. I know it’s hard for you to believe, but there’s nothing you could do to drive me away. You’re the most important person in my life and I would be so lost without you.” 

~

Natsu sniffed, turning in Gray’s arms and pressing his face to Gray’s shoulder. He always felt safe here, felt loved and needed. The doubt only surfaced when they were apart; when Natsu was alone with his thoughts and his brain kept whispering: nobody needs you, nobody loves you, they’re all just tolerating you, one day they’re all going to leave.

“You saved my life, too,” Gray said, kissing Natsu’s forehead. The tiny gesture flooded through Natsu and he squeezed his eyes shut against the tears that welled up inside him. “All the good things I have are because of you, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

Natsu took a shaky breath. “Really?”

“Really,” Gray said, running a hand up and down his arm. “I don’t think you’re broken, mon couer. You’re not damaged, or too much, and I wouldn’t love you more if you weren’t bipolar.”

Natsu couldn’t help the choked sob that broke out of him as relief started to push away the doubt. Gray made a soft, soothing sound and ran his fingers through Natsu’s hair, resting his cheek on the top of Natsu’s head.  

“It’s not your fault,” Gray said again, “and I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

Natsu curled closer against Gray, rubbing at his face with his hoodie sleeve. The skin around his eyes ached from yesterday’s tears.

“I do feel overwhelmed sometimes,” Gray said. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing the right thing, or if I could be… better, or more supportive. It’s scary and frustrating to see you hurting, but I know you can’t change it. And I didn’t mean to keep any of that from you, I just felt like… you didn’t need to deal with that on top of how you were feeling. I know you’re scared I’m going to leave, and I didn’t want to make that worse.”

Shame and regret crept into Natsu’s cheeks as he thought about the angry words he’d shouted the night before. “I feel so stupid,” he said. “I hate being sick. I hate not knowing if my feelings are real, or just dumb chemicals in my brain not working the way they should. I hate that you get scared, I hate that I feel so fucking out of control sometimes.”

“I know,” Gray murmured. “And I’m sure me asking about your meds doesn’t help.”

Natsu thought about the pill container next to the stove, about the tiny pang of shame that ran through him some days when he swallowed them down. “It doesn’t,” he admitted, “but I get why you ask. I have been taking them, I promise, but… I dunno, maybe I need to see my psychiatrist again.” He groaned in frustration.

“That might not be a bad idea,” Gray said gently. “But I think this is more than just meds. The stuff with your dad, I mean.”

Natsu sighed. “Yeah,” he said. Then he reached down and pulled his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants, turning it on and opening the conversation with Neelan. The last message sat there like an accusation.

Do you want to meet?

He scrolled up until he found the picture he was looking for, then passed the phone to Gray. “That’s my mom,” he said quietly. “I’d never seen a picture of her before.”

Gray stared at the photo for a moment as he ran his thumb across Natsu’s shoulder. “She looks just like you,” he said eventually. “Can I look at the rest of them?”

Natsu nodded, watching as Gray slowly flipped through the other photos. He paused on the one of Neelan holding Natsu in the hospital.

“He loved me,” Natsu said softly as he stared at the picture. “And he seems so… normal. He keeps apologizing for leaving, but he still hasn’t said why, and I don’t know how to ask.”

Gray made a sympathetic noise, closing the photos and scrolling up through the messages. “Do you want to meet him?” he asked.

“I think so,” Natsu said. He braced himself for Gray to disagree, but Gray didn’t say anything. “Is that… okay?”

Gray set the phone down on the couch and moved to face Natsu, taking both of his hands and squeezing them. “It’s not my decision,” he said. “I don’t want to tell you what to do. I’m scared of what might happen, and you’re right, that’s on me and my trauma. I just want to be a part whatever you do. If you want to meet him, I’ll be here for you, okay?”

“Okay,” Natsu said, cheeks burning with shame. “I’m so sorry I lied to you.”

“I forgive you,” Gray said, bringing Natsu’s hands up and kissing them. “And I’m sorry for making you feel like I didn’t trust you.”

Natsu leaned in and pressed his forehead to Gray’s. “You’d think we’d know better after thirteen years,” he said, and was relieved when a small smile crept across Gray’s face.

“It’s because we’re both stubborn assholes,” Gray said. “I hate fighting.”

“Me too.” Natsu let go of one of Gray’s hands and touched his cheek, then leaned in slowly, sighing in relief when Gray tentatively kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Natsu kissed Gray again, then pulled back and brushed a few stray hairs out of his face. “Do you want to talk about Lyon?” he asked. Guilt still rested heavily in his chest at the thought of Gray, curled up against their bedroom wall and crying harder than he had in a long, long time.

“Not right now.” Gray picked at a hole in his sweatpants. “Can we shower? I feel gross.”

“Same,” Natsu said, pushing himself up off the couch and helping Gray up too. “Why don’t I text Sting and see if I can take the afternoon off; I don’t have any big jobs right now. Maybe we can go down to the beach, or go have lunch with Sylvie?”

Gray nodded, stepping forward and pulling Natsu into a tight hug. “That sounds nice.” He pressed his forehead to Natsu’s shoulder and yawned. “Can we take a nap first? I’m so tired.”

“Of course,” Natsu said, kissing Gray’s cheek and holding him close. “Whatever you need.” 

~

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell him.”

Sting’s voice was quiet, but Natsu could hear the frustration in it, even over the phone.

“I know,” Natsu said softly, glancing back at the bedroom where Gray was still sleeping. “I feel really shitty and stupid. We spent all morning talking about it, and we’re both exhausted.”

Sting made a quiet sound of sympathy. “It’s not busy here, don’t worry about coming in. Just...” He sighed. “You lied to me, too.”

Natsu groaned and slumped back against the couch. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“We all do dumb shit,” Sting said, voice softening. “I’m glad you talked to him, though. He’s just worried about you – that’s what husbands are supposed to do. Ryos drives me crazy when he gets on my case about my meds, too. But he’s not doing it because he doesn’t trust me, he’s doing it because the last time I had a seizure, I ended up with sixteen stitches and scared the shit out of Noah.”

Natsu nodded, remembering Sting falling from the ladder at work and the awful cracking sound when his head had hit the concrete floor of the shop.

“You’re right,” he said.

“Of course I am,” Sting said, and Natsu was relieved to hear the disappointment in his voice turning to gentle teasing. “Now go do something nice with your husband and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

~

Gray didn’t talk about Lyon until later that evening, when they were sitting on the beach near the pier and watching the sunset. Soft, pink light spilled across the waves, rippling as the tide washed through the sand and dragged it back out to sea.

“I miss him, sometimes,” Gray said. He was sitting between Natsu’s legs, back against his chest with Natsu’s arms wrapped around him.

“Lyon?”

“Mm.” Gray kicked off his flip-flops and dug his feet into the sand. “When Ultear said he was having this hearing, the first thing I felt was scared. But...” He trailed off, looking down at the bracelet around his wrist. Lyon had given it to him years ago, before their mom had died. “I don’t know if I’m angry or relieved,” Gray admitted after a minute. “Or both.”

“Would you want to see him? If he gets out on parole?”

Gray looked back out at the ocean and sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe? Is that weird?”

“I don’t think so. He’s your brother.”

“But he hurt me,” Gray said quietly. He reached up and touched his shoulder where the skin was white and scarred. “Why would I want to see him?”

“Because he loves you,” Natsu said. “And I know you love him.” Natsu kissed the top of Gray’s head, then took both hands in his, slipping their fingers together. “Your relationship with him is more than just the bad shit that happened. You have years of good memories with him before that, right?”

Gray shrugged. “I guess. I just... there was some part of me that thought he was gone forever, y’know? And I know parole is a thing, and he’s been there for a long time already, I had just kind of resigned myself to never seeing him again.”

“I know.”

The sun finally dipped below the horizon, leaving them in a soft darkness. Gray closed his eyes, tipping his head back against Natsu’s shoulder and cuddling closer to him.

“Ultear said I could write a Victim Impact Statement,” he said after a while. “For the hearing.” Natsu nodded. He had written one for Don’s trial, but his social worker, Richelle, had been the one to read it in court. “I did the first time,” Gray added. “When Lyon was sentenced. I didn’t go, Ultear read it for me. I don’t even remember what it said.” He sighed, keeping his eyes closed. “I just feel a whole bunch of different things and I hate all of them.”

Natsu pulled Gray closer and squeezed his hands. “You said you have an appointment with Victim Services on Friday?” he asked. Gray nodded. “What about going to see your therapist?”

Gray groaned. “I don’t want to,” he grumbled. “I hate therapy.”

“I know, Snowflake.” Natsu kissed his cheek. “Actually, I was thinking... what if we went to therapy together?” Gray opened his eyes and frowned at Natsu. “Don’t pout,” Natsu teased.

“’m not pouting,” Gray insisted. Natsu laughed and kissed his nose.

“You are a bit.”

Gray huffed, shuffling further back against Natsu.

“Freed and Laxus go to therapy together,” Natsu said after a minute. Gray raised an eyebrow. “Laxus was telling me about it the last time we were over there. Just ‘cause of all the shit with his dad, and stress and stuff. And Sting and Ryos go too, with Noah and without him. It’s not a bad thing.”

“I know,” Gray said, wishing that the idea of talking about his feelings with a stranger didn’t make him feel like throwing up. “You’re probably right.”

“You know I am.” Natsu shifted in the sand and moved his arms down around Gray’s waist. “I wish everything were easier,” he said, resting his chin on Gray’s shoulder. “I feel like a mess.”

“You are a mess,” Gray teased. “That’s why I love you. We’re both disasters and we always have been.”

Natsu laughed, nipping playfully at Gray’s ear. Gray elbowed him half-heartedly and he made an exaggerated sound of protest before kissing behind Gray’s ear instead. “We’re gonna be okay, right?” he asked, breath tickling Gray’s neck.

“Yeah,” Gray said, tipping his head to the side and catching Natsu’s lips in a soft kiss. “We’ll be okay. I promise.”

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