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#sigh but also very very grateful Allah gave me that time
mistmarigold · 3 years
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reymir OS {reyyan gets shot}
Preview: Reyyan gets a text from an unknown number that Miran-Aslan are fighting alongside the cliff so she goes there because she’s afraid for Miran.
—-
“Miran!”
One shot was fired, however, it didn’t come from Miran’s pointed gun. Both Miran and Aslan stilled.
They turned to look at Reyyan standing a few feet away from them, staring at them with hollow eyes and a bloodied hand covering her belly.
Miran couldn’t believe his eyes but he ran to her and caught her in his arms before her knees buckled completely, sliding down with her in his arms.
“Reyyan, Reyyan! Hayir! Reyyan!”
He kept repeating, touching her everywhere with his right hand eventually settling it down on her belly, over her hand.
“Miran..”
He looked up at her eyes.
“I’m in love with you.”
“I know, just hold on. We’re leaving, hold on, lütfen! We’re going to the hospital. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for everything. Just hold on!”
He puts some more pressure on her wound - she jerks and winces - before he picks her up and starts carrying her to his car.
“I wish we’ll meet in another life and everything will be beautiful. Life won’t be so hard for us,” she was speaking so low, Miran could barely hear her.
“We have this life too! Birakma beni. Just hold on, please please Reyyan! Seni seviyorum. Everything will be okay!”
In response, Reyyan’s eyes drifted close but there was a small smile on her face. A tear slid down her cheek from the corner of her right eye.
“Quick, open the door!” He yelled at shocked Aslan standing a few feet away, who follows through. “Take this and drive like a mad man, I don’t care!”
He throws the keys to Aslan who quickly takes up the driving seat while Miran sits in the back with Reyyan in his lap, trying to wake her up by calling her name over and over while putting pressure on her wound with a cloth he had found in his car.
“Birakma beni..”
“Reyyan..”
Miran hadn’t stopped saying those words, his cheeks stained with tears while his arms held the love of his life on the brink of death.
***
Miran sat on the floor, his head in his hands, thinking over every little moment between them right from the very beginning. Over and over again, her stunning smile and her words just kept going through his head. His legs had given up long ago. He didn’t care about anything but Reyyan.
Reyyan, the love of his life. His only person. Reyyan, who kept coming back to him despite everything he made her go through.
Reyyan, his only reason to live.
All he wanted was her to be alive and well; to be happy. He didn’t give a rat’s ass about anything else.
They should’ve left as they had planned. He should’ve been selfish and thought for themselves only. He shouldn’t have let her go far from him. He should’ve listened to her, been there for her.
All of her words came back to him; all the times she had warned him, tried to hold him back from his anger and his rash decisions. All the times she had tried to make him see sense and to protect them first and foremost. He barely got her in his life and he was already losing her.
He looked at his bloodied hands; he was the one responsible for not taking her away when he had the chance.
A nurse rushed out of the operation theatre then, “We need blood for the patient, unfortunately, the hospital has no more reserves for her blood type. Is there anyone with the same blood group?”
Miran was about to volunteer but he knew he wasn’t a match. He looked at Hazar but he shrugged helplessly and shook his head.
“Zehra isn’t a match for Reyyan either, Reyyan shares the same blood group as her real dad.”
“Tamam I’ll go get it! Don’t let anything happen to her, I’m gonna strange everything!”
Miran yelled and was about to head out to search and get things arranged when Mahfuz came rushing in.
“I’m a match for her, let’s go.”
Nobody said anything as the nurse led Mahfuz away.
“Allahim, what do I do? I have a daughter fighting between life and death, an unconscious pregnant wife and a sick daughter at home. Please help me, please help!”
Please let her live, please let Reyyan come back to me, safe and sound. Please let me see her smile again, let me hear her heartbeat again.
Firat took hold of Miran and dragged him to sit on one of the hospital chairs, patting his back and being a human rock for him. The only person who has always stood by him under all circumstances.
****
“She’s out of danger but we’re going to keep her under observation for 24 hours. Only one person can stay with her, granted they don’t cause the patient any stress. We like to believe a loved one being near help the patient get better,” the doctor said as soon as he came out.
There was no question of who was gonna stay. Miran was already heading in when Hazar called out to him.
“Miran.. please take care of my daughter.”
Miran nodded at him and went in with the doctor.
“Doctor bey, can I ask you for a favour?”
The doctor looked at him quizzically.
Miran swallowed, “This is going to sound unethical but for the sake of both my wife and I, can you please say she lost the baby?”
Even saying that - the possibility of it ever being real - shattered his heart but he had to do it. To protect Reyyan.
May Allah never have them go through the pain of losing a child.
“But she’s not pregnant.”
Miran nodded, “I know that and she knows that but it was a lie we had to say for some reasons. So, I would be insanely grateful to you if yo keep it as it is and just tell them what I said. For Reyyan’s sake, please do that and keep a cover over this lie.”
Miran didn’t want to repeat the unfortunate, heartbreaking thing again. It hurt him. He just wanted to get over this nightmare and have Reyyan back to him.
The doctor nodded, “It’s not ethical but I will do it for the sake of my patient’s health.”
Miran sighed, “It’s only for her. Thank you.”
The first look at Reyyan in the hospital bed with wires sticking to her body and her looking pale almost broke him. He leaned against the wall and clutched his heart; he couldn’t breathe knowing it was his fault she was there, it was his fault she got shot and almost died. Knowing that he almost lost her forever. He would die. There was no question about it. He would literally die without Reyyan.
Miran shook his head slightly, she was okay, she was alive and well. She’ll be better in no time.
He took small steps towards the bed, gingerly sitting down on the chair and just gazed at her face. Exhaustion was etched across her serene face. Tears kept streaking down his face as he looked at her face, then the place of her heart with the wires attached, then trailing down to her frail hand resting on her belly.
Reyyan’s heart had held through so many things, so many betrayals, lies and broken promises. No wonder a bullet was nothing in comparison for the amount of heartbreaks she had already been through.
He didn’t know if he could touch her. He didn’t want to get anything wrong or messed up. He almost lost her, he couldn’t take any chances.
“You can hold her hand, she’s doing fine. It might give her some strength as well,” the nurse whispered to him with a smile and a nod before leaving the room.
Miran was so gentle, so cautious with his first touch. It was barely a brush. And then a stroke, eventually turning into a soft caress over her fingers. He took her hand in both of his hands, cradling it with utmost care, before bending down and pressing a feather-light kiss on her fingers, one for each.
“Thank you for not leaving me. And I’m so sorry for everything. From now on, I don’t care about anything else except you. Everything will be okay. Just hold tight. Seni çok seviyorum, Reyyan. Always. Don’t leave me without your light, meleğim.”
***
Miran woke up to Reyyan’s fingers moving around his cheek. It was just a slight stir, barely there but his eyes fluttered open the moment it happened.
“Reyyan!”
She hadn’t opened her eyes and was visibly struggling a little bit. Miran caressed her hair and face, his thumb constantly moving across her cheek.
“Reyyan, bitanem. It’s okay, I’m here. Rest some more. Everything will be fine.”
There was a slight shake of her head, barely there, before she opened her eyes slowly.
The first thing she saw was Miran hovering over her with tear-stained cheeks. She tried to lift up her hand to touch his face but everything felt so heavy and exhausting. She couldn’t do much. But Miran noticed her fingers trying to reach up so he intertwined their fingers softly and pressed a little kiss to her forehead, lulling her back to sleep.
The next time she woke up, Hazar and Zehra were in the room while Miran was nowhere to be found. Zehra was laying on the couch while Hazar was sitting on her bedside.
“Kizim! We’re so thankful that nothing happened to you. We’re so, so grateful that you came back to us.”
Hazar tried to come forward to kiss her forehead but Reyyan held her hand up lowly. He saw it and stopped.
Hazar nodded, “You’re right. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve to hug or kiss you and I definitely don’t deserve your love. But I’m sorry, Reyyan. I’m so, so sorry for everything you’ve been through because I wasn’t a good enough father.”
Zehra woke up just then and came towards Reyyan.
“Reyyan, how are you feeling? Are you okay?”
Reyyan nodded, “I am. Please don’t worry and go home. It’s not good for you to be here.”
Just then Miran came in.
“Is Reyyan awake?” He rushed in and headed straight for her, cradling her face in his hands. “Are you doing okay? Are you hurting?”
She gave him her most genuine smile, “It does hurt. A lot.”
Miran sighed, “I’m sorry.”
She turns to Hazar, “I’m not going to stay away from Miran anymore. I’ve done everything that all of you have wanted but no more. And I also don’t want to see or meet anyone anymore except Gül. That’s all.”
Miran stands at the side, “Reyyan..”
She turned to him, “And if you don’t want to be with me then tell me and I’ll leave..”
Miran cut her off, “Of course I want you, Reyyan, what sort of question is that?”
She moved a bit on the bed and winces harshly, her eyes prickling with tears.
“Tamam stop talking. Go to sleep, we’ll figure out everything later. It will be however you want it, no matter what anyone says or do.”
Reyyan sniffed, “I just don’t want to stay here anymore, amidst all this revenge and hate, especially not when our little family is considered. I’m tired of paying for something I’m not responsible for. I want it to stop hurting.”
Hazar looked at Miran sharply, which didn’t escape Reyyan. Moreover, he held his head in his hands.
There was a moment of silence.
Miran swallowed, “Reyyan.. we lost the baby.”
Reyyan knew there was no baby, she knew it. And yet his words cut her deep inside. It was as if everything she had been through wasn’t enough, now she had to mourn the death of her fake baby as well. Even in her imagination, she wasn’t left alone.
She wanted to wail and cry her heart out, she did but all she could do was look at the ceiling and let tears slip out of her eyes while clutching the bedsheet. She gritted her teeth and tried not to sob because god knows her body was hurting so much. But now, her soul was in aguish and she didn’t know how to deal anymore. She didn’t want to be quiet.
Both Hazar and Zehra had quietly slipped out the door somewhere in between.
A sob finally broke out of her leading to a loud gasp and a wince from the pain of her wound.
“Reyyan, I know you’re tired, I know everything is wrong but lütfen I’m begging you, please calm down. Please think for yourself right now. We’ll have our family, I promise you. Please, please stay with me. Everything will be alright.”
Miran took her hands folded into fists and one by one loosened them up, intertwining his fingers with hers instead. Later he took down the guarding rail on one side and sat on the bed, half laying down. He turned to his side and kissed her tears away, replacing them with little kisses all over. Repeating new promises over and over agin with an assurance that they won’t be broken.
“One day we’ll be so happy we wouldn’t even remember these days.”
“We’ll have babies and we’ll see them grow into little beautiful beings and then adults.”
“Our lives would be full of light, love and happiness. Everything will be okay.”
“It’s enough that you don’t leave me without your breath.”
Over and over again, he kept talking to her while gently caressing and kissing her, hoping it would soothe her heart somehow, and give her some peace despite knowing peace was a foreign emotion to a girl like Reyyan, whose heart had been bruised and broken over and over again. He just hoped she’d carry through it one more time and would hold on for a little more. But he wasn’t sure.
Soon after, Reyyan fell asleep with dried tear streaks on her face and her soft, previously shaking hands clutching Miran’s big ones.
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quranreadalong · 6 years
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#3, Surah 2
THE QURAN READ-ALONG: DAY 3
We’re almost... ten percent done with this horribly long surah. Today we’re going to cover 2:40-2:74, which is “Previously on Allah Talks To Prophets...”. In this case, Moses (or Musa).
2:40 and 2:41 are neutral introductory verses addressed to the Jews, telling them to fulfill “the covenant” by accepting Islam. To briefly explain: a large Jewish community lived in Medina. Before he actually moved there, Mohammed believed that they'd be accepting of his message. But, uh, they weren't. They didn't believe him at all. Over time, this would cause Mohammed to hate them, but not yet. This part of the surah was likely “revealed” not long after Mohammed and his crew arrived in the city, so while he was annoyed by the Jews, his rants against them weren't too full of frothing rage at this stage, at least compared to later suwar.
Allah continues:
Confound not truth with falsehood, nor knowingly conceal the truth. Establish worship, pay the poor-due, and bow your heads with those who bow (in worship). Enjoin ye righteousness upon mankind while ye yourselves forget (to practise it)? And ye are readers of the Scripture! Have ye then no sense?
Those three seem like good ayat when you ignore the context--the context being that Mohammed was accusing the Jews of lying about Allah and the Torah, and trust me y'all, we'll talk a lot more about that later on. “The poor-due” used throughout Pickthall’s translation is usually in reference to the zakat tax, the proceeds of which go to various groups including soldiers, tax collectors, the poor, etc. More on that later. 2:45 is also good, to a lesser extent, urging people to ask for patience while the following ayah reminds them that all will return to Allah.
Then we’re back in neutral recap territory, reminding us of Allah favoring the “children of Israel”. And then all that goodness and fluff goes straight into the bad crapper:
And guard yourselves against a day when no soul will in aught avail another, nor will intercession be accepted from it, nor will compensation be received from it, nor will they be helped.
Now, I’m not gonna include that in the kuffar hell counter, because it’s not explicitly mentioning either, but the “no one can save you from hell” thing is still pretty grim tbh!
So, too, is the threat of Allah’s “trials” and tests of faith, which pop up repeatedly throughout the Quran. The Biblical story about how the Egyptians were killing Jewish children, for example, is described as “a tremendous trial from your Lord”. What kinda over-the-top test is that?! But it does at least lead us from ranting about Mohammed's contemporary Jews to discussing the deeds of past Jews.
2:50-53 are yet more bland neutral recaps, this time about how the Egyptians were going to kill the Hebrews, how Yahweh/Allah saved them and drowned the Pharaoh’s army, how the Hebrews went astray by worshiping the golden calf while Moses was away, how Allah gave Moses the Ten Commandments, etc. All of that is just an abbreviated version of the Moses story in the Torah.
And then we get our first (bad) instance of Allah commanding death! Moses informs his people, regarding the calf-worshiping incident, that:
Ye have wronged yourselves by your choosing of the calf (for worship) so turn in penitence to your Creator, and kill (the guilty) yourselves. That will be best for you with your Creator and He will relent toward you. Lo! He is the Relenting, the Merciful.
("Allah is Merciful, so kill the idolators” is an incredible concept.)
Now 2:55-56 is the first of two parts in this section where I believe Mohammed may have made some serious errors in recounting Jewish stories. These ayat tell us that the Hebrews didn’t believe Moses was communicating with Allah. “How do we know you’re not just insane and making this all up?”, they asked... prompting Allah to send a lightning strike in reply. A lightning strike that killed them?! And then Allah brought them back to life so they would believe in Allah and be grateful that he (killed them and then) revived them??!?!
Very bad! But where on earth did this come from? It’s not in the Bible or any Jewish literature that I can find. Here is my theory. In the Book of Exodus, chapter 19, God tells Moses that he will allow the Hebrews to hear his voice so they will believe in him forever (19:9). Three days later, this happens:
On the morning of the third day there was thunder and lightning, with a thick cloud over the mountain, and a very loud trumpet blast. Everyone in the camp trembled.  Then Moses led the people out of the camp to meet with God, and they stood at the foot of the mountain.
Moses then receives the Ten Commandments in chapter 20, as the thunder and lightning continue, scaring those down below.
When the people saw the thunder and lightning and heard the trumpet and saw the mountain in smoke, they trembled with fear. They stayed at a distance and said to Moses, "Speak to us yourself and we will listen. But do not have God speak to us or we will die."
They were not actually killed by the lightning. They just saw the lightning (that came from God’s presence) and were afraid that they would die. Like the Quran’s story, this was God’s attempt to prove that he existed to the Hebrews around the time of Moses receiving the Ten Commandments. It seems like Mohammed perhaps misinterpreted the story above as being about God/Allah striking the Hebrews rather than being about the Hebrews being afraid of being struck.
Anyway, uh... after that... incident... we go back into more neutral territory. Allah sends the now non-idolatrous Hebrews mana to save them from starvation. Moses makes twelve springs of water flow from a rock to save them from thirst. Allah allows the Jews to go into towns to eat and sleep, as long as they say a certain prayer. But some mix up the words, resulting in punishment from above again, which is a bad bizarre story we will look at in more detail in a later surah. Again some details here are not present in the Biblical story--in the Bible, Moses creates just one miraculous spring from a rock, but later on they come across twelve regular springs. I think Mohammed mixed them up.
The Jews start complaining about having to eat mana all the time and we’re back to Allah being a bad jerk in 2:61: “humiliation and wretchedness were stamped upon them and they were visited with wrath from Allah”. This verse also says that the Jews killed some prophets or something but I have no idea what it’s referring to, nor does the Quran say which prophets we're talking about. What prophets in or before Moses' era were killed by Jews..? This accusation is repeated several times, mostly against the Jews of Medina, and we’ll look at it more in-depth later.
Now then... in a bit of a jarring transition, we come across a good but confusingly phrased verse. 2:62 reads:
“Those who believe (in that which is revealed unto thee, Muhammad), and those who are Jews, and Christians, and Sabaeans - whoever believeth in Allah and the Last Day and doeth right - surely their reward is with their Lord, and there shall no fear come upon them neither shall they grieve.”
The Quran is quite clear on who can get into jannah or heaven (only those who are Muslim). But note here it says those who believe in Mohammed’s words and some other members of Abrahamic religions will go to heaven. Yet as we will see later, the Quran also explicitly says that anyone who does not believe Mohammed is a prophet will go to hell (repeatedly), and says in many places that Christians in particular are hellbound. (Also, for the record, no Muslim scholars know for sure who the “Sabians” are; they may have been Mandaeans.)
So, about this ayah in particular, what does it mean? Ibn Kathir states that it refers to Jews, etc of previous generations and those who had not heard Mohammed’s “revelations” yet. They are allowed into heaven, as they have done nothing wrong. Only those who have heard Mohammed’s “revelations” (i.e., in his contemporary era) and deny that he is a prophet are hellbound.
So... uh. I’ll still call that good. Relatively speaking. There’s another variant of this same thought later on that clarifies matters further in a less tolerant direction.
Next up is another neutral recap of Allah complaining about how he was nice to the Jews and they were ungrateful. But now we get into some really uncomfortable territory. The two following bad ayat are used frequently today, and have been used frequently in the past, to justify antisemitism.
And ye know of those of you who broke the Sabbath, how We said unto them: Be ye apes, despised and hated! And We made it an example to their own and to succeeding generations, and an admonition to the God-fearing.
The implication here is that the Jews who broke the Sabbath were literally turned into animals and “despised and hated”. This is only one of multiple references to Allah turning Jews into animals--it’s a treatment only the Jews get. It is referred to later on as a “curse”, as we will see when we read the whole appalling incident. This is not in any Jewish text, as far as I know. I suspect Mohammed got this idea from the Talmud, not in a story about the Sabbath, but instead in the Tower of Babel story,
the faction that said: Let us ascend to the top of the tower and wage war, became apes, and spirits, and demons
But push that aside for a moment, because we’ve come to the moment of truth. THE COW.
2:67-74 is an absolutely bizarre but neutral story. Allah tells Moses to get the Hebrews to kill a specific cow. “Do you take us in ridicule?”, they (hilariously) ask, but Moses is 100% serious. Sighing, they try to guess which cow they are meant to slaughter, and they figure out Allah wants them to kill a yellow cow, specifically. So they do that. At some point a guy dies and no one knows who killed him, so Allah tells them to touch the dead guy’s corpse with a piece of meat from the cow, which revives the dead guy, who tells them who killed him?!?!?! But then the Hebrews still disobeyed Allah.
I.... what?! I have looked for some precedent for this story in some Jewish story, but I can’t find anything about a yellow cow. There is, however, a Biblical story about a red cow. Let me lay out my theory for what happened here.
This is God talking to Moses in the Book of Numbers:
Speak unto the children of Israel, that they bring thee a red heifer, faultless, wherein is no blemish, and upon which never came yoke. And ye shall give her unto Eleazar the priest, and she shall be brought forth without the camp, and she shall be slain before his face.
The cow’s body is burned and its ashes are placed in a jar with water. The contents of this jar are then used to ritually purify those who have come into contact with a corpse.
This, on the other hand, is from the Book of Deuteronomy:
If a slain person is found lying in the open country in the land which the LORD your God gives you to possess, and it is not known who has struck him, then your elders and your judges shall go out and measure the distance to the cities which are around the slain one. It shall be that the city which is nearest to the slain man, that is, the elders of that city, shall take a heifer of the herd, which has not been worked and which has not pulled in a yoke; and the elders of that city shall ... break the heifer’s neck there in the valley ... and say, ‘Our hands did not shed this blood, nor did our eyes see it. ‘Forgive Your people Israel whom You have redeemed, O LORD, and do not place the guilt of innocent blood in the midst of Your people Israel.’
Okay, so... uh. Let’s put this together. Mohammed heard this story about a cow of a certain color being sacrificed in order to obtain its ashes, which would restore someone who touched a corpse to purity.
Then he heard this other story about how a different cow, not of any specific color, should be sacrificed if there is an unsolved murder. This wouldn’t really accomplish anything other than making sure YHWH/Allah isn’t mad about it.
In his mind, though, he seems to have believed that these two were referring to the same incident... and that the goal of the sacrifice wasn’t merely to restore the purity of someone who touched a corpse, but rather to restore the corpse itself, so that people could know who killed him!! Allah out here playing CSI Miami via animal sacrifice.
This is the second time that Allah revived a dead person just in this mini-Exodus story, by the way. Take that, Jesus.
But, uh, that’s the cow in question, as in the name of the surah. The magic cow that brings dead guys back to life with its steak. Yep.
Next time: The Kuffar Hell Counter returns!
The Quran Read-Along: Day 3
Ayat: 34
Good: 5 (2:42-45, 2:62)
Neutral: 21 (2:40-41, 2:46-47, 2:50-53, 2:57-58, 2:60, 2:63-64, 2:67-74)
Bad: 8 (2:48-49, 2:54-56, 2:59, 2:61, 2:65-66)
Kuffar hell counter: 0
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subihasan-blog · 7 years
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Wifehood and Motherhood are Not the Only Ways to Paradise
“Why are you majoring in that field?” I asked a sister in college. She sighed, “To be honest, I just want to get married. I don’t really care about what I’m studying right now. I’m just waiting to get hitched so I can be a wife and a mother.” “It’s awesome that she wants to be a wife and a mother, but why would she put her life on hold?” I wondered. Why would a skilled, passionate young woman create barriers to striving for self-improvement and her ability to be socially transformative when she doesn’t yet have the responsibilities of wifehood or motherhood? Being a wife and a mom are great blessings, but before it actually happens, why exchange tangible opportunities, just waiting for marriage to simply come along—if it came along? I didn’t have to look far to find out. “I’m already twenty-six,” another sister lamented. “I’m expired. My parents are going crazy. They think I’m never going to get married and they pressure me about it daily. My mom’s friends keep calling her and telling her I’m not getting any younger. She keeps crying over it and says she’ll never be a grandma. It’s not like I don’t want to get married; I’ve been ready since college! I just can’t find the right guy,” she cried. Why, as a general community, are we not putting the same pressure on women to encourage them to continue to seek Islamic knowledge? Higher education? To make objectives in their lives which will carry over and aid them in their future familial lives, if such is what is meant for them? Perhaps it’s because we’re obsessed with the idea that women need to get married and become mothers and that if they don’t, they have not reached true success. We all know the honorable and weighty status of wifehood and motherhood in Islam. We all know that marriage completes half your deen1 and that the Prophet (peace be upon him) has told us about the mother, “[…] Paradise is at her feet.”2 But getting married and becoming a mother is not the only way to get into Paradise. And not every grown woman is a wife and/or mother, nor will ever be. Some women will eventually become wives and/or mothers, if Allah subhanahu wa ta`ala (exalted is He) blesses them with such, but for others, Allah (swt) has blessed them with other opportunities. Allah (swt) did not create women for the sake of wifehood or motherhood. This is not our first goal, nor our end goal. Our creation was to fulfill our first and most important role—to be His SLAVE. As He tells us in Surah Dhaariyat (Chapter of the Winnowing Winds), “And I did not create the jinn and humankind except to worship Me.”3 Worship comes in such a variety of forms. Being a housewife (a.k.a. domestic engineer!) can be a form of worship. Being a stay-at-home-mom can be a form of worship. Being a working wife and mother can be a form of worship. Being an unmarried female student can be a form of worship. Being a divorced female doctor, a female journalist, Islamic scholar, film director, pastry chef, teacher, veterinarian, engineer, personal trainer, lawyer, artist, nurse, Qur’an teacher, psychologist, pharmacist or salon artist can each be a form of worship. Just being an awesome daughter or house-fixer upper can be forms of worship. We can worship Allah (swt) in a variety of ways, as long as we have a sincere intention, and what we do is done within the guidelines He has set for us. Unfortunately, however, that is not the message our community is sending to single sisters – both those who have never been married, and those who are now divorced. When I speak to many women and ask them about the ways they want to contribute to society and the ways they want to use their time and abilities, a number of them will tell me that they have no idea and that they’re only going through the motions of school or work while they’re waiting for Prince Muslim to come along and with whom they can establish parenthood. However, Prince Muslim is not coming along quickly or easily for many awesome, eligible Muslim women. And for some, he has come along, and he or the institution of their relationship turned out to be more villainous than harmonious. Single and never married or divorced — very capable and intelligent Muslim women constantly have to deal with the pressure of being asked, “So…when are you getting married? You aren’t getting any younger. It’s harder to have kids when you’re older.” The amount of tears, pain, stress, anger and frustration which these awesome women are constantly dealing with because of a social pressure to get married (especially when many already want to, but are just not finding the right person!) and have children is not from our religion. Islam gave women scholarship. Our history is filled with women who have dedicated their lives to teaching Islamic sciences. Have you ever heard of Fatimah Sa`d al Khayr? She was a scholar who was born around the year 522. Her father, Sa`d al Khayr, was also a scholar. He held several classes and was “most particular about [his daughters] attending hadith classes, traveling with them extensively and repeatedly to different teachers. He also taught them himself.”4 Fatimah studied the works of the great al-Tabarani with the lead narrator of his works in her time. You know who that lead narrator was? The lead narrator of Fatimah’s time was not named Abu someone (the father of someone, indicating that he was a male). The leading scholar of her time was a woman. Her name was Fatimah al-Juzadniyyah and she is the scholar who men and women alike would study under because in that era, she was the greatest and most knowledgeable in some of the classical texts.5 Fatimah Sa`d al Khayr eventually married and moved to Damascus and eventually to Cairo and she continued to teach. Many scholars travelled specifically to her city so they could study under her.6 Fatimah was brought up in a family that valued the education and knowledge of a woman to the point that her father was the one who would ensure she studied with scholars from a young age. Before marriage, she was not told to sit around and be inactive in the community out of fear that some men would find an educated woman unattractive or intimidating and would not want to marry her. She was not going through the motions of studying random things in college because she was stalling until she got married. She sought scholarship and Allah (swt) blessed her with a husband who was of her ranking, who understood her qualifications and drive, and who supported her efforts to continue teaching this religion even after marriage. She left a legacy we unfortunately have most likely never heard about because we rarely hear about the over eight thousand female scholars of hadith who are part of our history.7 Why do we never hear about Fatimah Sa`d al Khayr and the thousands of female scholars who were like her? I think that one of the reasons—and it’s just a personal theory—that as a community, we are so focused on grooming our women to be wives and mothers that we lose sight of the fact that this is not even our number one role. Servitude to Allah (swt) is our number one role. We need to use what He has given us, the means that we have at the moment we have, to worship Him in the best of ways. Islamic history is filled with examples of women who were wives and mothers, who focused completely on their tasks of being wives and/or mothers, and produced the likes of Imam Ahmed rahimahu allah (may God have mercy on him).8We take those examples as a community and we reiterate the noble status of such incredible women. But we also have examples of people who were not only wives and not only mothers, but those who were both of those, one of those, or none of those, and still were able to use the passions, talents and skills Allah (swt) blessed them with to worship Him through serving His creation, through calling His creation back to His Deen and leaving legacies for the generations to come. Some of these women were wives and mothers and dedicated their lives to focusing on their families completely and some of them continued to serve the greater society at large. Shaykh Mohammad Akram Nadwi mentions in his introduction to his Dictionary of women hadith scholars, Al Muhadithaat, “Not one [of the 8000 female hadith scholars he researched] is reported to have considered the domain of family life inferior, or neglected duties therein, or considered being a woman undesirable or inferior to being a man, or considered that, given aptitude and opportunity, she had no duties to the wider society, outside of the domain of family life.”9 Female scholars in our history were focused on being family women when they had families to whom they held responsibilities, and when able, they also had goals and objectives in life which extended beyond the roles of wifehood and motherhood. So what about someone who is not yet married? Many single women are using their time to the utmost, focusing on improving their skills and abilities to contribute back to the ummah (community) and society at large. They are loving worshipping Allah (swt) through investing in their abilities and using those for the greater good. Perhaps we can all take from their example. God, in His Wisdom, has created each one of us differently and in different circumstances. Some recognize this, love any stage they are in, and develop their abilities to the fullest. Let us, too, use the time and abilities God has given us to maximize our worship to Him and work for the betterment of society and humanity as a whole. If wifehood or motherhood comes in the process, then at least we were using all of our ability to worship Him before it came and can continue to use the training and stamina we gained before marriage to worship Him with excellence once it comes along. If there are parents, families and communities that are pressuring women to get married and have kids: Be grateful Allah (swt) has blessed you with daughters, married or unmarried, mothers or not, as the Prophet SAW has said, “Do not be averse to daughters, for they are precious treasures that comfort your heart.”10 We are putting more pressure on our sisters than they can emotionally and psychologically handle. Let us give them space, let them find themselves and establish their relationships with Allah (swt). Allah (swt) created us to worship Him. That is our number one role. Now, let us do our part and figure out how best we can fulfill the purpose for which we’ve been created.
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