#side note: this was because people were so desperate not to lose their job that hundreds killed themselves in horrible working conditions

[hawksredfeather]

Hawks | The Blood On My Hands

▸▸▸ HAWKS/KEIGO TAKAMI MASTERLIST

▸▸▸ SUMMARY : Hawks forgot to save everyone else but you, officially getting written up by HR and yourself.

▸▸▸ DETAILS : Angst, fem!reader, quirkless!reader, Hawks is your boyfriend, argument frfr, fluff and praise if you squint

▸▸▸ WARNINGS : Smut

▸▸▸ AUTHOR NOTES: dont forget to like >:>>

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"Y/n, come on, look at me. I said look at me," Keigo says firmly. "You don't understand what this job is. Sometimes you have to make these choices."

You glare at him with glossed-over eyes across the shiny kitchen counter.

"There were people, Keigo. You could've saved so many people, and you chose to save me. You made that decision on your own without asking. You're supposed to save as many people as you can." Your voice is quiet compared to his. None of you want this argument to transform into a fight, having both been through a lot in the past twelve hours.

The tiny cuts on your hand from holding onto a worn-out piece of wood for at least fifteen minutes earlier started to prick as you absent-mindedly poked at them.

"I don't expect you to understand."

"You're right, I don't."

"Right, no, you don't. You don't fucking know what it's like. I don't give a shit if you don't understand, you have no right to be mad at me for saving you. You not having a quirk in this society makes you entirely defenceless. What the fuck did you want me to do, huh?!" Keigo's voice picked up in volume and anger, shouting at you in desperation for a hint of comprehension. "Just stay back and watch you die?!"

You looked away. "No, don't fucking look away from me, look at me." Keigo had a big thing for communication and eye contact, always searching for your gaze to understand your feelings. For you to understand his. "Would you have really preferred for me to let you die in front of me?"

"It's not about me Kei... It's about everyone else. They also deserved to be saved."

"You don't think I already have blood on my hands? I know you don't think it's fair. I know that." The hero's calloused hands grasped the edge of the counter, sighing. "I can't do my job if you're not safe," he continues. "There's nothing in this world worth saving if you're not here with me, (Y/n). Literally nothing. I do this job because I want to keep people safe ― which includes you by the way ― but also one day, truly live in a society where heroes actually have too much time on their hands, like the people say. So I can spend time with you, and be an active part of our life together instead of coming home at three in the morning while you're already asleep. Or having to plan a month in advance for a single date because of all the paperwork I have to fill out just to take the night off."

His voice picks up again. "Fucking look around, (Y/n)! Everything I fucking do is for you! This place? For you. My job? For you. I intend to keep you safe until my dying breath. Until someone takes a spear to my heart. I don't give a fuck if you don't approve of how I do it."

Keigo's large wings, extending outwards in a threatening way, showed the extent of the hero's feelings. A sincerity you can't fake, a vow you can't disprove. He looked like an angel from the other side of the counter, an angel with red wings and worn-out eyes, courtesy of the duty he felt he had to fulfill.

The hero lowered his head once again, his wings faltering. "I just... I can't lose you (Y/n). You're all I have left."

He knew you didn't mind him crying around you, but he always wanted to seem stronger than that. He had weaknesses but never owned up to them. This time, it was different. "I would repeat what I did a thousand times over if it meant us having this argument right now... if it meant you were sitting at the other end of the counter, safe and strong enough to talk back to me." Keigo looked up, tears brimming his eyes. His voice was shaky and uneven, finding cracks to seep through every now and then.

You frowned. You felt bad as Keigo described you as "all he had left". Although you didn't want him to extend favouritism towards you, you knew he wasn't capable of it. He would choose you over any group of people. Over Japan.

Over the entire world, if it came down to it.

And here you were, as he felt you were rejecting everything he's ever offered and will ever offer. He felt you were rejecting him.

"You have to understand," Keigo walked around the counter towards you. "You have to understand you're the reason the world even has Hawks. You're the reason they still have..." he inhaled a sharp breath, "...Keigo Takami. Without you, there's none of that hero shit. I'm yours first, hero second," he said like a guilty child. He was vulnerable.

You extended your hands to meet his stubbly face, chasing away his tears with your thumbs. You didn't mind seeing him cry, but that didn't mean you liked it either.

There was so much guilt, so much self-resentment, distress and loneliness inside of Keigo. You made him feel human and alive like he no longer had to be a shell of himself to exist around others. He was aware he was dropping that responsibility onto you, and that it wasn't fair to keep pushing you to accept him and all his baggage, but he knew that you would, selfishly hoping that you would never change your mind.

"Kei..." you spoke softly and sighed. "I just want you to do the right thing."

"I will," he says, knowing you both knew it was a lie. He would continue to pick you over everything if he was given the choice.

Keigo kissed you. Not just a quick peck to settle the argument, no; he kissed you until he couldn't breathe. He was yearning to capture the tiniest bit of your love for him, of your affection, just to satiate his sick mind.

You kissed back, but it wasn't enough for the greedy hero. Keigo grew needier, moving his hands from your face to your torso, caressing your breasts as best as he could through the fabric of your shirt and your bra. He needed you. He needed you to be all over him, a mess, so he could forget his mistakes and feel good.

You started to slowly give in, pushing your bodies together until Keigo was between your thighs. His feathers rustled together feeling the contact from his clothed dick to your crotch as he grinded on you gently. The attention he was giving you was priceless, and you felt adoration from every touch of his fingertips.

"I need you baby, come on, give it to me," he muttered against your lips, trailing them from your mouth to your neck. He wanted you to want it as much as he did before he did anything. Keigo was a gentleman after all.

He elicits gentle moans from you as he sucks on your neck, having slipped one hand under your bra to play with your breast as the other one rested on your thigh, holding you in place while he rocked his lower body against yours. "Please," he pleads once more.

"Kei, come on, you're teasing," you whined as his index came in contact with your nipple. He smirked. Your tone, your now needy body, your flushed face, your words... could raise his ego to the heavens way more than his hero status. Every time. Without fail.

Keigo picked you up from your waist placing you on the table. "You want it babybird? Hm? You want me fucking pounding your little cunt until you can't form a sentence? Is that what you want?" Even though his dirty talk was engulfed in lust, it was simply to rile you up, to make you as desperate for him as he wanted. In reality, his words were dripping in love, a different tone than when you're casually having sex.

"Answer me, hm? Tell me, love, is that what you want? Is that what your pussy needs from me, baby?" he continues, holding your jaw tightly to force you to look at him. Just like in arguments, he's very strong on eye contact.

"Yes, please, Kei, you're making me wait."

Keigo chuckled softly. "Yeah, I know... I know baby," he said as he felt a wave of sadness take over him. He removed your top first, following with your bra as you pawed at his shirt, silently asking for him to take it off which he did. He knew skin-to-skin was important to you. Keigo followed with your bottoms and the last remaining piece of your underwear before discarding the rest of his own clothing, all while keeping his mouth on yours. He was mixing up sadness and desperation in his mind, as well as relief, pain, love, and care.

How dare he call himself a man. How dare he call himself a hero.

Holding back his tears, he kept your legs open around him and his hands firmly placed on your hips to stop you from wriggling, entering you with full intent. You could sense something was wrong judging by his emotionally pained expression and by his sudden change of tone and pace. Keigo needed this, truly, but felt he would break down any minute now.

"Baby," you spoke up, but he just shook his head.

"No. Shut up, I'm fine, just let me have this, please," his voice cracked. He was not fine. But he wanted this.

Keigo began to rock his body against yours, jaw locking at the pleasure. His sadness transformed into anger, not towards you, but towards himself. His hips snapped against yours, pathetic moans and whines escaping your mouth with every one of his movements.

He felt okay shortly after for the first time in the night. He was in his own personal heaven, there, right between your legs, making you feel good, making you writhe under his touch. He could die happy knowing he could make you feel this good.

You clawed at Keigo's back, right under his wings so as to not hurt the more delicate feathers of them. He was in too much bliss to talk and knew you were too. The way the head of his cock hit your cervix just right, and your spongy walls throbbed against his length drove him insane. A throbbing, shaky, moaning mess under him, and the sight alone could make him cum anytime.

Keigo reached a hand down to play with your clit, making slow circles around it. He didn't want to overstimulate you, just bring you close to his orgasm.

"You gonna cum baby? Y-You gonna cum all over my cock? God, you feel so fucking heavenly," he whined and moaned. He was twitching inside you and was waiting for you to be close to release.

"Mh- K-Keigo- I-"

He smirked and shushed you gently, his mouth next to your ear with his body slumped over. "C-Cum for me princess, my pretty baby."

Keigo's thrusts became irregular as he felt you tighten around him and the slick from your orgasm drip down in between his thighs, the feeling making him cum as deep as he could, holding you close with his arms. He mumbled through his high.

"'Gonna protect you. 'M gonna offer you the world babybird. I'll make it worth it. I'll make it worth it..."

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#mha #mha hawks #hawks smut #hawks x reader #hawks bnha #hawks x reader smut #mha smut #bhna smut #mha x reader #minors dni #my hero academia #my hero academia smut #keigo takami #keigo x reader #keigo takami smut #mha keigo x reader #mha keigo takami #mentor hawks #hawks headcanons #keigo takami headcanons #fivescoffeeecup #one shot #x reader #smut #fem reader #bnha hawks #bnha x reader #pro hero hawks #bnha smut #hawksredfeather

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

Note: requested by an anon! thank you so much for your patience, I hope it's worth the wait. also shout out to @neonhairspray for letting me use her name in this fic ;)

extra note: the taglist seems to not work properly lately, I am aware of this, as it is happening to me as well. I am also not getting many notifications, not just tags, but also for reblogs and comments. I am very sorry if it seems like I am ignoring you, trust me, I am not!

Warnings: 18+! angst, brief smut, little bit of fluff. mention of pregnancy.

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: A regular hook up with Sihtric didn't go as usual.

wordcount: 3,5k

Masterlist

'Tell me what the fuck I did to you to deserve this!'

'Thanks, sweetheart,' Sihtric smiled and kissed your forehead, 'that was really nice, as always,' he chuckled, 'I'll call you, okay?'

'Yeah,' you smiled, still shaking on your legs as you walked him to your front door, 'thank you too,' you said, 'see you around.'

'See you,' Sihtric winked and got in his car.

You closed the door and went back upstairs to shower, after which you'd get some sleep, as it was late at night already. 

And that's just how it always went. Sihtric texted you, or you texted him, you'd meet up at either his place or yours, you'd fuck each other senseless for however long needed, and then you'd both go your own way again. Most people would call what you had with Sihtric "friends with benefits", but it wasn't that. You had only met him because of a mutual friend, during a night out, after which you had landed in his bed.

And after that night you simply kept hooking up, but there was no friendship. In fact, you actually knew nothing about Sihtric, except for where he lives, and that he's hot, as well as a beast in bed. You knew his kinks and the way he likes his dirty talk, but you had no idea what kind of job he had, if he even had one, you didn't know what his personality really was like or if he was sleeping with other people, besides you. You didn't know and you also didn't care. Sihtric, with his short, dark hair with the shaved sides and his insanely muscular body, was just a good fuck. And that's all you both seemed to care about.

You only contacted each other to hook up, and it was only a few days later that Sihtric called you again.

'Fuck,' Sihtric moaned, 'yeah, just like that baby girl,' he breathed and threw his head back in your pillow, 'oh, don't stop you dirty girl,' he laughed as he looked up into your eyes.

You grinned while looking down at him, riding him exactly the way you knew would make him lose his mind. His big, warm hands held your hips, while you rested your hands on his broad chest to support yourself. If you'd been looking for a serious relationship, you'd almost believe Sihtric was made for you, and he thought the same, but he would never say it.

Because there was no relationship, and neither of you ever showed a sign that there would ever be anything of a relationship between the two of you.

'Yeah, you like that, don't you?' you teased, feeling his hands take on a bruising grip on your hips.

'Yeah,' Sihtric smiled as he bit down on his lip, then bucked his hips into you while you were on top, 'yeah, I really fucking like that,' he moaned.

'Fuck me like a good boy,' you breathed, to which Sihtric growled desperately and took you harder, and faster.

Then, with a deep and heavy moan Sihtric spilled inside you, as he fucked you through your own orgasm. And it was only moments later, when he pulled out, that you both found out the condom had been ripped at some point.

'Oh,' you said, with big eyes, 'it… it should be fine.'

'You're on birth control too, right?' Sihtric asked after a few minutes, slightly worried while he put on his shoes.

'Yeah,' you sort of lied.

Well, you didn't really lie, you were on birth control, but you had been a little sloppy with taking the pill lately, knowing you didn't have unprotected sex with him anyway.

'Okay,' Sihtric said and sighed with relief, 'good. I like kids, but I'm absolutely not ready to be a dad yet,' he chuckled, 'dodged a bullet there, huh, sweetheart?'

'Don't worry,' you laughed.

What are the odds, you thought. Sihtric put his shirt back on, raked his tattooed fingers through his short hair and leaned in to kiss your cheek.

'I better get going, no need to walk me to the door,' Sihtric said softly, knowing your legs had gotten quite the workout moments ago, 'thank you for tonight, I really needed it,' he smiled and pecked your cheek again, 'you're always so good to me, baby girl. You know exactly how I like it, you're truly a blessing,' he whispered and gave you a quick wink, 'I'll call you, okay, baby?'

'Yeah, okay,' you smiled and felt yourself blush.

Despite not being close, apart from sex, Sihtric definitely had a cheek-reddening effect on you with his impressive appearance, flirtatious behaviour and his smooth voice.

'See you around,' you said with a grin.

'Definitely, pretty lady,' Sihtric winked again and gave you a sly smile, before he walked out of your bedroom and let himself out of your home.

In his car, on the drive back to his own place, he cursed himself for being too afraid to tell you he actually wants more with you. He wanted to take you out on a proper date, really getting to know you outside of the bedroom. He had been meaning to ask you out for weeks already, but he was terrified to be rejected by you, after months and months of just having sex.

Meanwhile, you downplayed your own feelings for Sihtric when he had left, took a shower again and went to bed. 

And as your upcoming few weeks were kinda busy, you had to disappoint Sihtric a few times by answering his call and telling him you weren't in town.

'I promise I'll call you when I'm back home again,' you said on the phone.

'Promise?' Sihtric asked, you could even hear his soft smile by the way he spoke, 'don't keep me waiting much longer, baby girl,' he said with a cheeky tone, 'been thinking of that cute butt of yours a lot lately.'

'Behave!' you laughed, 'and I promise. But, hey, gotta run now, Sihtric, work's calling. I'll see you soon.'

'You better,' Sihtric said before you both ended the call and went about your day.

If only you knew how much Sihtric was longing to see you again, after finally having gathered the courage to ask you out next time he'd see you. 

And if only Sihtric knew that you would never call him again.

5 years later.

Two weeks after that last booty call you found out you were pregnant and, remembering Sihtric told you he was not ready to be a father, you panicked. You considered your options. You didn't have the heart to get an abortion, but you were also terrified to face Sihtric again, in fear of you and your child being rejected by him. In your full state of panic you blocked Sihtric's number. And when he showed up at your door a few weeks later, only because he was seriously worried about the woman he had fallen in love with who seemed to have vanished, you had kept yourself hidden in your kitchen until you heard him slam his car door shut and drive off. 

Then, you did the worst thing you could possibly do; you moved away, about two towns over, without ever telling Sihtric. And next spring you gave birth to his child, without his knowledge. 

Being a single mother was hard, and multiple times you thought about reaching out to Sihtric, but years had passed already and you knew he would probably not take this news well. You eventually got a job at a cute little coffee shop while your, now 4 year old, son stayed with an aunt of yours during the day. She'd bring your son, Ragnar, to the coffee shop every day just before your shift was over, so you could take him home.

And today was just like any other day. You only had twenty minutes left of your shift when you were asked to bring an order 'that hot guy with the sunglasses who's seated at the window,' as your colleague and best friend, Sandra, described the customer.

You did what you were asked and placed the large cup of coffee on the table of the hot guy, who was wearing a black beanie and had his eyes hidden behind his black sunglasses. He was very well built, his broad shoulders clearly visible underneath the black denim jacket he was wearing, under which he wore a dark hoodie. You saw he had a good, well kept goatee, and from the slight glimpse you got of him you had to admit; Sandra was right. He was kinda hot from what you could see.

'Enjoy your coffee,' you smiled and turned to walk away.

You didn't know that the hot guy had been staring at you from behind his shades for minutes already, ever since you caught his eye.

'Do I know you, lady?' he suddenly asked.

You froze, your back still turned to him. You had almost dropped the empty cup you held when you heard the sound of his voice. The smooth, soft, low voice you could never forget, because you had heard it so close to your ear uncountable times. But it surely couldn't be him…

You cleared your throat and gave the man a quick smile as you faced him.

'I doubt it,' you said politely and turned on your heels again.

'Baby girl?' the man said and jumped up, his chair making an awfully loud noise as it scraped over the floor with force.

You froze again, feeling your knees starting to shake underneath you and you turned to face him again, staring at him with wide eyes.

'S… Sihtric?' you barely whispered.

'So it is you,' Sihtric smiled softly and took off his sunglasses, revealing the scar on his cheekbone you recognised right away.

He took one big step and towered over you, gazing down into your eyes. He took your chin in his hand and kissed your cheek, like he used to when he'd meet up with you, years ago.

'How… how have you been?' Sihtric asked, quietly, but you could clearly hear a faint tremble in his voice while his mismatched eyes darted all over your face, 'you- you just disappeared,' he said, 'w-why?Why did you never call again or... or-''

'Sihtric,' you breathed, your cheeks heated up and your hands trembled, 'I… I'm sorry, but I'm at work… I can't talk right now-'

'Mommy!' Ragnar ran in and your aunt followed behind him.

You looked startled, then quickly used your son distracting Sihtric as your way to get out of the situation.

'Mommy?' Sihtric mumbled and he furrowed his brow as he looked at the child running towards you, 'hey, no, wait!' Sihtric said and grabbed your arm as you tried to sneak away, 'you have a son?' he asked, his eyes were suddenly huge and vulnurable, 'did… did you leave because you met someone? Why- why didn't you tell me?'

'Sihtric, please,' you said, 'it's… I have to go.'

You tried to pull out of his grip but, instead of letting go, Sihtric only held onto your firmer.

'No, please,' he begged, not wanting to lose you again, 'I need to know-'

'Sihtric, let go of me, please,' you hissed, trying to be quiet, but at this point everyone in the coffee shop was already staring at the two of you.

'Baby girl, please,' Sihtric pleaded, 'what… I need to know what happened between us.'

'It's…' you stammered, desperately wanting to tell him the truth, but you couldn't, 'I have to go,' you said, panicked, and you broke out of his grip.

'No, wait!' Sihtric raised his voice, but it was already too late.

Your shift was over and you had already thrown your apron on the counter, you pushed past your aunt and made haste to walk out of the coffee shop, with your son. With Sihtric's son. And tears crept up as you picked up Ragnar to cross the street, leaving Sihtric behind once again without any explanation, something you hoped you would never have to do again, as it had caused you to live with a broken heart ever since. 

And once again, it had all been your own doing, because you couldn't face him.

Later that evening, Sandra texted you after having witnessed the strange encounter at work.

Sandra: are you okay? What happened at work?

Sandra: did you know that guy? Did he bother you? He asked for your number after you had left, but I didn't give it… he seemed really hurt. Confused even, it was kind of scary… after you left he paced back and forth for a while in the shop, talking quietly to himself as he looked really distressed

Sandra: eventually he walked out, I think he was crying? We were really concerned about you

Sandra: the hot guys are always weirdos huh?

You: I'm okay, thank you

You: but yeah… I know him. it's a long story really. And he has my number, actually…

You: promise you won't tell anyone what I'm going to tell you now?

Sandra: of course, you know your secrets are safe with me

And so you finally told someone, for the first time in your life, about the father of your son and what you had done to him.

Your friend was shocked and tried to convince you to meet up with Sihtric, but you just couldn't. Without pressuring you, she urged you to think about Ragnar too, how he deserved to know who his father was. And she reminded you that Sihtric deserved to know he had a son. You knew Sandra was right and agreed to think about it, but now, you just wanted to sleep. Because you hoped to wake up from this nightmare.

Meanwhile, Sihtric was home again too, after he had randomly gone for a drive and happened to end up at the one place you were at. And as he was completely devastated by how you had run from him, again, he went over the events as he laid in bed, with his eyes closed, fighting his tears. He tried to understand your behaviour. He tried to understand why you had left in the first place. He tried to remember what had happened the last time he had seen you, even though it had been so long ago. 

And when he suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, it all clicked.

Your shift the next day went terribly slow. You had barely slept so, naturally, you were exhausted. To make things worse, your friend wasn't working today, so you had no one you could talk to about your current issue.

Hours and hours later, when your shift was over, you took off your apron and grabbed your jacket. You had asked your aunt if Ragnar could stay for dinner with her, as you needed a moment to yourself after work. But then, when you walked out of the coffee shop, you realised you would not have a quiet evening.

'Sihtric?' you gasped and froze when you saw him, waiting for you outside the shop, 'what- why are you here-'

'Please,' Sihtric said, as calm as he could while he stepped closer, 'please, talk to me.'

You stared up into his questioning eyes, and became overwhelmed with emotions. Part of you wanted to grab his face and kiss him as if it was the last thing you'd ever do, part of you wanted to tell him the truth about his son, and another part of you wanted to run away and hide. And you tried the latter. You almost sprinted away from Sihtric, around the corner, hoping you could run home. But Sihtric was fast, and even stronger than you remembered, so without any struggle he grabbed your arm and pulled you into a darkened alley, where he slammed you against the wall.

'Talk to me!' Sihtric growled.

A tone you had never heard from him before, and you didn't know if you were terrified or aroused right now. Probably a sick mixture of both, you thought, as he had trapped you between his body and the cold wall that pressed against your back.

'Who's child was that boy?' he asked, angered and confused, 'the one I saw yesterday, in the coffee shop, who called you mommy?'

'Please,' you trembled, 'don't make me do this,' you whispered.

'Who is the father of that child?!' 

'You are!' you shouted, and Sihtric stumbled a small step back when you shoved him, allowing his back to collide with the wall, finding support so he wouldn't fall down to his knees.

You stared at each other, with both hurt and anger in your eyes.

'You are his father, Sihtric,' you said with a sudden sob, and started to cry, 'you are.'

You explained to him, as best as you could through your tears, what had happened since the last time you had slept together. How you got pregnant, how you remembered Sihtric said he didn't want to be a father yet, and how you had panicked and just ran.

'And I know it will never justify that I hid this from you,' you sniffled, 'but I was terrified. I was so afraid to be rejected by you that I just ran, to protect myself and my… o-our child.'

'What's his name?'

'R-Ragnar,' you whispered.

Sihtric was quiet, until his tears started to roll down his cheeks and he moved his hands over his half shaved head, gripping at his dark curls, and then he let out a pained grunt as he punched his fists into the brick wall behind him.

'How could you do this to me?!' he shouted, 'how could you fucking do this!'

You knew you were the one who had made all the mistakes here, and you never wanted to argue with Sihtric in the first place, so you weren't going to try and defend yourself. You kept quiet as he let out his feelings, it was the least you could do.

'My child!' Sihtric shouted, his voice hoarse, 'you kept my child from me? For almost five fucking years!'

He huffed and let out a loud sob as he exhaled. His breath was shaky, as were his hands and his voice when he continued.

'What did I do to you?' he asked.

'Nothing,' you whispered, 'you did nothing-'

'Tell me!' Sihtric snarled, 'tell me what the fuck I did to you to deserve this! When did I hurt you?! When did I ever not treat you with respect?! When did I make you feel like you had the right to run away while you carried my child? My child?!' he shouted in your face.

'I… I have no answers,' you whispered as you wept silently, 'I have no excuse. Sihtric, you never did anything wrong. I'm… I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did this.'

'No, you're not,' Sihtric scoffed and wiped his tears, 'you're not sorry,' he looked at you with disgust, 'I… I don't even care if you were.'

And with those words, Sihtric left, and you fell down to your knees in the alley, crying, as you once again lost the love of your life.

When you arrived at work the next day, a complete mess, Sandra ran up to you.

'Girl!' she said as she grabbed your arms, 'that hot dad left you a note,' she pushed the piece of paper in your hand, 'he left seconds ago, you better go after him and fix this!'

Before you had time to read the note, Sandra shoved you outside of the coffee shop, pushing you in the direction Sihtric had just walked in when he left. As your feet started to carry you around the corner, your trembling hands opened the folded piece of paper.

Sweetheart,

I am sorry for the way I snapped yesterday. It was just a lot to take in, I'm sorry. I wish I had handled it differently, and I am sorry you always felt you could never contact me to tell me the truth. I hoped I'd find you at work today, but you weren't there, so I wrote this quick note. If you ever change your mind about us, about me, know that I would love to meet Ragnar. Know that I am ready to be a father. And know that I never had the guts to tell you how I felt when we were still seeing each other, years ago. But know that my feelings have never changed for you ever since. I never told you, but I was falling in love…

I am in love with you.

I'm sorry.

x    Sihtric

You pushed the note in your pocket as you ran through the street, until you ended up at a T-intersection. You looked left, but no sign of Sihtric there. Then you looked to the right, and when you suddenly saw his undeniable figure walk towards a parking lot, you ran as fast as you could.

'Sihtric!' you shouted, out of breath as you ran across the street, 'Sihtric! Wait! Please!'

Sihtric turned, and the sadness in his eyes seemed to make place for slight hope as he saw you running towards him.

'Sihtric, I love you,' you cried as you fell in his arms and crashed your lips onto his.

It took him a while to understand what was happening, but soon enough, he grabbed your face and kissed you back as if his life was depending on it. And you both didn't break the kiss until your lungs forced you to.

'I- I love you,' you sobbed, 'I know we barely know each other, but have always loved you somehow, and I need you in my life. Ragnar needs you in his life too. We need you in our life. I'm sorry, for everything.''

'I have always loved you too,' Sihtric sniffled, 'and, gods, the only thing I want is to be with you, baby girl,' he whispered and kissed you again, 'and with our… our son,' he smiled, 'there is nothing I want more than to have a family, with you. But first,' he cupped your cheeks, 'I really want to buy you a drink, if you have time right now.'

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylasthegrim @bubbles-for-all-of-us @andakth @bel-bottoms @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx @diosademuerte @elle4404 @alexagirlie @sweetxime @solango @gemini-mama @cheyennep3107 @little-diable @jennifer0305 @drwstarkeyy @mrsarnasdelicious @verenahx @urmomsgirlfriend1

#sihtric x reader #sihtric x you #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom #tlk #sihtric #sihtric fic #the last kingdom fic #modern!sihtric

[lenaellsi]

So. What if Aziraphale thinks that Crowley is Job?

"So once Job's trials are over, everything is restored to him?"

What if Aziraphale thinks that Crowley's Fall (and everything he went through in Hell afterward) was just a trial from God: a good and kind man angel being tested to the limits of what a person can endure in order to prove a point. And because Crowley has "passed" his trial by remaining a decent person despite everything he's suffered, the Metatron's offer of restoration is his reward. And not only will he be restored, but he'll be of even higher rank (maybe), and the right hand of the Supreme Archangel.

"Not only that. God will reward him with twice as much as he had before."

"Like the old times, only even nicer!"

It's important to note that Aziraphale's objections to Job's trials were nearly allayed when he learned that Job's possessions would be restored to him. The only thing that spurred him to action was the knowledge that that Sitis would be forced to birth four more children, and that the original children wouldn't be brought back from the dead. The temporary suffering of losing everything was acceptable so long as things were "fixed" properly in the end.

And this is a trend with him, right? The suffering of the poor on Earth leading to a greater reward in Heaven. The Flood leading to a rainbow. "I"m going to have a word with the Almighty, and then the Almighty will fix it." Ends and means. Happy endings. The Greater Good.

But Crowley's suffering matters. The Fall hurt him so badly that he considers himself a different person to the angel he was Before. Crowley knows that the universe, Earth, the end times, it's all a test for humanity, and he's furious about it. He wants no part of the game OR the reward, God's will or not. And that's something Aziraphale can't understand, because--well, why wouldn't you want the reward? Isn't it a kindness from God, to make sure things are all okay in the end, even if people are hurt along the way?

And of course, Crowley isn't Job. He was thrown out because he asked annoying questions, and the "reward" the Metatron offered was a trap set specifically to appeal to Aziraphale's longing to be with Crowley without the complications of being on opposite sides. It was never a real offer. The look on the Metatron's face when he took Aziraphale to Nina's shop all but confirms that.

Aziraphale is desperate to cling to the idea that Heaven is Good, that God is Good, and that he, by association, is Good. But he needs to accept that sometimes God's acts of cruelty are just...cruel. Post hoc justifications and belief in ineffability can only justify so much. And I think it might be this--Crowley's line in the sand, his refusal to accept a reward he doesn't want and that wouldn't fix the damage done even if he did want it--that helps him open his eyes a little.

Well, that and seeing what Heaven is really like from the executive suite. But that's for S3.

#good omens #good omens meta #good omens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #angel crowley #long post #job minisode my beloved

[ghostofskywalker]

Friends Don't Kiss Like That

Jesse/Fem!Reader

Words: 1,791

Summary: You never wanted to force him to put a label on the relationship you shared, because even if it was purely physical, you didn't want to give it up. But maybe you should have just talked to Jesse about your feelings, because it turns out that the two of you had slightly different views on the way things were.

Warnings: implied sexual content

Note: i absolutely love this fic and i've been hanging onto it for months because i didn't want to lose my joy over it, but i think it's finally time to share it with the world.

Clone Troopers Masterlist

He never stayed too long, even though you wanted him to. Unfortunately when you worked on a Jedi Cruiser, there were only so many ways that you could disappear at the same time without it being too suspicious. It was already one of your saving graces that Jesse already had a reputation for taking long showers, and that his brothers never suspected that this is where he went when he disappeared.

The other saving grace was the fact that you had private quarters, and you didn’t have to worry about anyone barging in while you participated in some much needed stress relief with one of the battalion’s ARC troopers. There were always a few times that you managed to convince him to stay a little longer and lay with you, but those moments were few and far between. Usually it ended with labored grunts, slightly sweaty kisses, and whispered promises to do this again soon before he had suited up once more and looked both ways down the hall before returning to the barracks for the rest of the night.

You never knew exactly how he felt about you, because no label was ever put on your relationship. It was both polite smiles in the mess hall and secret love bites left in places only you and him would ever see, professional and intimate all at once. You didn’t even know how to approach the topic with him, because what were the options? Clones could get in big trouble if they were caught in relationships, and you didn’t want to lose your job at the GAR. It was almost easier if neither of you said anything, because then you didn’t have anything to deny should something happen and the secret came out. You weren’t together, even though you desperately wanted it to be the opposite. Wartime meant that people would have to make sacrifices, and this simply had to be one of them.

You were currently laying on your bed with him, having put some of your clothes back on after you finished. He was in nothing but his black body glove, the different pieces of plastoid that made up his armor scattered all across your room. “What do you want to do when the war is over?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” was your response. “I think I’ve spent so much time in the GAR at this point that I can’t imagine my life without it.”

He opened his mouth to respond, but before he could say anything, someone knocked on your door. His eyes widened at the sound, and you were sure that you had a similar expression on your face. It was the middle of the night, who could possibly be knocking on your door at this time of night? You stilled, hoping that if you didn’t move a muscle then whoever was at the door would simply try to reach you in the morning (at a more reasonable hour).

But the sound came through again, and you just quietly tiptoed out of bed, pulling on the tops and bottoms to your GAR-issued sleeping clothes before starting to approach the door. It was then that you realized something: Jesse’s helmet (which was pretty damn recognizable) was sitting on the table next to the door, and it would be instantly visible to whoever was on the other side when you opened it.

The knock sounded for a third time, and you quickly grabbed Jesse’s bucket, throwing it to him on the bed. You must have not done a good job in aiming though, because you heard a thunk (followed by a whispered swear), which you tried to cover up with a loud “one moment!” - hopefully to appease whoever had decided to bother you at this time of night.

Hoping that your appearance didn’t give away the activities you had been previously engaging in, you grabbed the handle of the door and cracked it just enough to get a peek at who was standing outside, and you were met the face of Captain Rex. “Captain!” you said, your voice jumping higher than it usually was. “What can I do for you?”

“When he got a look at your outfit, Rex frowned. “Did I wake you?” he asked worriedly, looking down at his wrist to check the chrono that rested there. “Oh, I didn’t realize it was so late.”

“It’s okay,” you said, feigning a yawn and hoping that Rex really did think you were asleep previously, and so he didn’t step inside and see one of his ARC troopers slightly sweaty and laying in your bed. You stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind you (you’d rather Rex see you in your pajamas than him realize Jesse wasn’t in the barracks like he was supposed to be). “Is there something important I need to know?”

“I just stopped by to give you some forms,” he said. “Most of the men on the ship right now have a mandatory training session tomorrow to brush up on hand-to-hand combat skills and I wanted to ask if you’d be willing to help with some of the more administrative things while I’m there.”

“Of course, that is my job after all,” you said. “If everything is digital, why don’t you send it to my datapad and I’ll take a look at it tomorrow.”

Rex nodded and held out a small stack of flimsi to you before responding. “I came to bring you these too, they’re the only ones that aren’t digital, and I’ll send you the rest when I get back to my office.”

You nodded in response, and the captain turned around to leave. “Rex?” you called out, causing him to stop and look at you. “Go back to your room and get some sleep.” He made a small noise of indignation, but did turn around and start to walk in the direction of his quarters, which you counted as a win (even if he was just doing this to make you think he was going to sleep and would actually make a detour at the last second).

When you stepped back into your room, Jesse was still laying on the bed. “That was close,” you said.

“Too close,” Jesse said. “I should probably head back now.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but any reasoning you had died in your throat. You weren’t together, who were you to keep him here? And what if your selfish desire to cuddle with him all night got your relationship found out? There had already been one close call tonight, you didn’t need any more. So instead of saying anything, you just nodded, watching him collect the pieces of his armor from around the room (where they had been hastily discarded when he arrived) and put them back on.

With a smile and kiss to your cheek, Jesse was gone, and you really wished it didn’t have to be this way.

***

Life on the Resolute went on, and soon you were once again laying in your bed with him, having just finished a particularly steamy rendezvous in your private ‘fresher. In nothing more than your underclothes at this point, you just stared at each other, and you dreaded the moment where he would tell you that he had to leave.

But instead, the conversation took a whole different turn. “I think the boys are starting to get suspicious.”

“About us?”

Jesse shook his head. “I don’t think they realize you’re part of it, but they’ve started to realize that I sneak away from time to time.”

“Oh,” you said, heart sinking as you considered the options from here. “We can-”

“I think it’s time to tell them,” Jesse said, and you just looked at him with a confused expression. “They were bound to figure it out eventually.”

“Tell them what?”

He looked at you with an odd expression on his face. “That we’re together.”

It took a moment for you to register his words. “We’re together?” It definitely wasn’t your finest moment, but in your defense, there didn’t seem like a better way to say it. For so long you had pined for something more with him, for the kisses and soft glances you shared to allude to something other than a physical relationship, and now you were finding out that you had possibly mis-interpreted this entire thing?

“I thought we were,” he admitted quietly. “Unless there’s someone els-”

“No!” you responded, cutting him off. “I just- we never talked about what we were, so I assumed you only considered this a physical thing, and that we were friends in all other senses of the word. I always wanted more, but didn’t want to lose you.”

Jesse’s expression softened, and a quiet laugh escaped him. “Cyare,” he said, leaning in real close. “I don’t know about anyone else, but I certainly don’t kiss my friends like I kiss you.”

“Then why didn’t you ever say anything to me?”

“I thought you wanted to keep things under wraps.”

“I wanted to protect you!”

“If you’re referring to that rule against clones being in relationships, I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” he said, leaning to place a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth.

You were not as blasé about the whole thing. “And why is that?” you asked, eyebrows raised.

“Because the general is in a similar situation right now, so I think he’d understand. And I trust my vode with my life, they wouldn’t say anything. Besides, I think Rex already knows, he said something to me about you the day after he showed up here in the middle of the night.”

You sighed quietly. “I know, but I still worry.”

“How about this, we can wait a little more, but if someone asks, tell them the truth,” Jesse suggested.

“That’s a good idea,” you said with a nod. “Although…”

“Although what?”

“You haven’t actually asked me anything about progressing our relationship.”

His eyebrows raised at you in mock disbelief, but he played along. “Well then, I have to fix that.”

“I’m waiting.”

“Will you-” a kiss was placed on your forehead.

“Do me the absolute honor-” now his lips moved down to your cheek, kissing you once for each word.

“Of being-” a kiss on your nose this time.

“My girlfriend?” His lips ghosted over the corner of your mouth, and you knew that he was being a little infuriating on purpose.

“Yes, you idiot,” you said, wasting no time after that to pull him closer to you and kiss him soundly.

Jesse groaned into your lips, and you had a feeling you might need to shower again after all was said and done, but you didn’t care one bit.  

- the end -

i no longer have a taglist! if you're interested in being notified when i post, you can follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library and turn on notifications!

#arc trooper jesse x reader #arc trooper jesse #arc trooper jesse x you #jesse x reader #clone trooper jesse #clone trooper x reader #clone wars fanfiction #star wars x reader

[yunjardi]

my heart bel♡ngs to daddy [series]

[young sugar daddy jake x fem.reader au]

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[check here for this series's general warnings and playlist]

[‼️chapter warnings‼️: smut [mdni], daddy kink, spanking, unprotected sex, reader loses her virginity, oral, fingering, mentions of blood because of it being the reader's first time, swearing, alcohol, rich people slander LOL, mentions of pervy rich people, jake being a fucking tease] 

*feel free to lmk if i missed anything 

*note: reader wears glasses

*also sorry if there are any errors regarding grammar oops

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-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-♡-

chapter 1: business proposal 

chapter 2 here

school, bar, home; that's what your life has been for the past however many months it's been since you first acquired your position as a bartender. the bar has basically been your life since you started working there, and you didn't hate it, but that doesn't necessarily mean you loved it either. shifts were often long and strenuous, especially on friday nights in which every rich person in the city wants to drink until they get alcohol poisoning. 

working at a "rich peoples' bar" had its benefits though; huge parties meant large amounts of tips even though most of your tip money went into paying rent and school tuition. but hey, it's better than being stuck in the family house you worked so desperately to get out of. 

juggling university and your job oftentimes stressed you out and made you wonder if you should choose one over the other, but you never forget to remind yourself that you can't work at the bar forever even if it felt like an easy way out. 

"y/n!" yeji, your friend from university and coworker, called out, prompting you to snap out of your thoughts and look in her direction, "i'm heading out now, so do you think you can handle the rest of the night without your favorite coworker?" she joked as you nudged her arm. "oh no, whatever will i do without you?" you said sarcastically, yeji pulling you into a hug afterward. you both laughed as you waved at each other, her waking out the door, holding it open for someone who was coming in as she was leaving. 

he approached your section of the bar as you were wiping down its surface, wanting to make sure the expensive marble countertops were kept presentable all throughout the night. a sleazy part of you liked wiping down the counters because it gave you a chance to get more tips by showing your cleavage, and yes, it always worked with the pervy and horny rich men as funny and pathetic as it may sound. the tight, black long sleeve button up paired with a short skirt and a (fake) diamond necklace really makes for a good night money wise. the 'uniform' is arguably what gets you tips in the first place considering that more than 90% of the consumers are greedy rich people. for a seemingly classy bar, the management loves to dress their female employees like hookers. 

it took a second for you to realize that you were lost in your thoughts again, aimlessly wiping nothing off the marble countertop. you were so distracted that you looked up to see an extremely handsome young man seated on one of the barstools and had no idea how long he'd been waiting there just staring at the drink menu. "o-oh, i'm so sorry, what can i get for you?" you asked shyly as you folded the rag you were using and pushed it to the side. he chuckled lightly at your embarrassed expression and body language before responding. "just a glass of armand de brignac ace of spades brut rosé," he said nonchalantly as he pointed at the pretty pink bottle with a smirk as if ordering a $500 champagne was normal. 

you turned around to fetch a crystal wine glass and couldn't help but turn red because of how fucking sexy this guy was. you almost didn't trust yourself to pour this expensive alcohol because of how sweaty your hands were, but you shook it off and quickly placed the wine glass on the table, pushing it toward him. "let me know if you want to order anything else," you smiled, trying to keep your eyes off of him, knowing that you wouldn't be able to look away if you were to spare even the tiniest glance at him. 

"thank you, beautiful," he said, taking a sip of his expensive champagne. his comment caused you to promptly snap your head up at him, wondering if he was actually serious or if he was just another flirty (and possibly horny) rich guy. "why, thank you," you flirted back subtly, slightly leaning against the counter on your elbows, hoping to get a few tips. he let out a gentle chuckle as he reached one of his veiny hands out toward your neck to take a hold of your necklace. you blushed in surprise at this touch but didn't pull away.

"such a shame," he sighed as he admired your chest area in a somehow amorous and non perverted manner, "a beautiful woman like you should have real diamonds resting against her pretty skin..." his voice trailed off as he let go of your necklace.

man, he really indirectly pointed out how broke you are, and also how the fuck could he tell these diamonds were fake with his naked eye? rich people surprise you every time. 

you couldn't tell if the reason you were blushing was because of the fact that his hands were dangerously close to your neck and chest or if you were embarrassed at the fact that you couldn't afford a real diamond necklace. you were at a loss for words for a hot minute as you looked down at your necklace that seemed to sparkle less now that he pointed out how it isn't genuine. 

"i'm sorry... just thinking out loud," he sighed as he looked you in your eyes, making your breathing hitch for a second. "oh, n-no you're fine," you responded, trying to laugh it off, "would you like anything else? a refill maybe?" you said as you looked down at his almost-empty wine glass. 

"well," he started as he shifted in the barstool, now resting one of his elbows upon the counter, "i would like to buy you a real diamond necklace, but if we're talking in terms of me wanting anything else from the bar, i think i'm fine for now." he smirked and took another sip of his drink. god, he was such a tease, but you didn't mind because he was so unbelievably attractive. 

"you're so sweet," you laughed shyly as you tried to hide your face, "but you seem a bit tipsy, so make sure to be safe out there when you head out." a fake pout formed on his face as he looked at you again. "trying to get rid of me already? i promise i'm not drunk, beautiful," he chuckled as his eyes traveled down to the sparkling crystal wine glass that was now empty. you'd be lying if you said that you weren't on the brink of kissing him because of his smooth comments, but you had to remind yourself that these situations are normal at the rich people bars; they flirt, you fall for them, they take you home, you fall harder, they leave because you meant nothing to them in the first place. 

'never get attached to rich people' was always your golden rule, but you weren't thinking rationally in this particular moment. you were only thinking about him; a rich man whose name you didn't even know yet, and you couldn't help but mentally sigh at the fact that he could never be yours.

"what's on your mind, hm? you look lost in thought," he said, his thick accent music to your ears. you immediately snap out of your thoughts for the nth time tonight, turning red at the fact that you were so obviously disconnected from the situation. "o-oh, it's nothing," you stuttered embarrassingly, "just a little tired; long night, you know?" you lied even though you knew that he could see right through you like you were a piece of glass. 

"is that so?" he smirked then let out a sigh, "i would love to keep talking." you pushed your glasses up and glanced at the clock. it's only half past ten, what's the harm staying for a little longer. 

"i'll stay if you stay with me," you said in a mildly seductive tone as you leaned forward onto the counter, again, hoping to make a few tips. "what made you think that i planned to leave?" he asked, leaning in closer and making you visibly flustered. he smirked, fully aware of the effect he has on you. 

"get yourself something to drink. it's on me," he said as he pulled out a black card, your eyes widening at the sight of it. god, he made you feel like a peasant. "b-but everything here is so expensive, a-and i'd hate for you to spend that kind of money on me-"

"don't worry about it, princess. i only spend by the thousand, so get anything that your heart desires."

his confidence made a knot form in your stomach. oh, how the tables have turned; now you're the horny one. 

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you didn't get blackout drunk so-to-say, but you drank enough alcohol to have a headache when you woke up the next morning, and it took you more than just a few minutes to remember what the hell happened last night. you then realized that you never even asked that guy what his name was and immediately felt like a fucking idiot.

thank god it was your day off because you may have had to call in sick because of the pounding headache that you were suffering-

bzzz...bzzz...bzzz

you groaned as you turned to check who was calling you, and to your surprise, it was yeji. as you hit 'answer,' you hoped she wasn't calling because of short staff at work. 

"hey, y/n! sorry if i'm waking you up, even though it's 3PM," she joked as you groaned and sat up, "there's someone here who just asked for you. uhhh, he has dyed blond hair, average height, and he's veryyyy handsome. he's seated at your section of the bar waiting for you if you want to head over and see what he wants, but i can tell him that it's your day off if you want me to-"

"i'll be right over!"

you quickly hung up the phone and jumped out of bed to get ready. you sobered up so quickly that it could've been a world record. after taking shower so quick that it could've also been a world record, you got dressed in a cute but classy outfit that showed just enough skin to tease him then dashed out the door. 

--------------------------------------------

you took a deep breath before opening the fancy double doors to get inside the bar, immediately looking over to your side of the bar to see him sitting there patiently waiting for you to show up. you tried your best to casually walk over to your section of the bar but before you could get any closer, yeji spotted you and excitedly ran in your direction, engulfing you in a hug. she let go of you to turn your head to the side with both of her hands, "you see him?!" she exclaimed, quickly prompting you to slap your hand over her mouth. "shush, yej! he has ears, you know!" you whisper-yelled as you both slowly walked over to that side of the bar. as soon as you were close enough to him, yeji gave you a stern pat on the shoulder and rushed back over to the other side of the bar. 

"so," you said flirtatiously as you put your hand on one of his broad shoulders, "i heard you were looking for me." your touch startled him, causing his shoulder to tense up, but he quickly calmed down after he realized it was you. "well, you heard right," he said, his signature smirk forming on his face. you smirked back, looking into his pretty brown eyes and trying to exude the same confidence that he was even though you were nervous out of your pants. 

"you didn't even know who to request seeing as you don't even know my name," you teased as you sat on the stool next to him. "and yet, here you are, miss?" he asked, somehow coming off more confident than you even though he was literally asking a question. "y/l/n y/n" you chuckled, "and you?" 

"jake, jake sim, sim jaeyun. depends who you ask," he said with a hint of sarcasm as held his hand out for you to shake it as if you two were meeting for the first time. you rolled your eyes playfully as you leaned in closer to him. "so, what business do you have with me, jake?" you asked teasingly as you placed your hand on his warm forearm, flustering him. "hmm, i don't know," he said as he put his free hand on top of yours, "maybe we could go out? after all, it is your day off." you looked at him with slight disbelief, not expecting him to ask you to go out with him. "so, like a date?" you asked, cocking your head to the side. "it's whatever you want it to be, princess," he smirked as he stood up, holding his hand out to help you off the high barstool. 

"have fun, guys!" yeji yelled from across the bar as if she'd been watching us the whole time (which she probably was). jake smiled sheepishly as waved back at her, his other hand holding yours as you left the bar together.

--------------------------------------------

you sat nervously in the passenger's seat of his fancy car, not knowing what to expect out of this little "date" that you two were about to go on. "so, where are we going, jake?" you ask casually, glancing at his perfect side profile. "we're gonna head further into gangnam's shopping centers. i did say i wanted to get you some real diamonds, right?" your eyes widened in a mixture of shock and surprise. 

"y-you're kidding, right?" you laughed sheepishly, but he shook his head, shocking you even further. "nope. we're getting you a pretty little necklace," he said nonchalantly as he parked the car and unbuckled his seatbelt, quickly getting out of the car to open the door for you. handsome and a gentleman? score.

you took jake's hand as he led you into a jewelry store that you never even imagined walking into, let alone buying anything from. your eyes lit up at the immense sparking of diamonds in every corner of the establishment. jake seemed to notice your astonishment and giggled at your cute mannerisms. "go ahead and look around, beautiful," jake politely urged, "your only parameter is that it has to be one thousand or over; i only spend by the thousand, remember?" he smirked as he lifted your chin up with his index finger. you nodded and your cheeks turned a bright shade of pink as jake moved his finger away from your face.

you were completely clueless on how to even begin navigating this jewelry store, so you looked up at jake for a bit of guidance. "you're so cute," he cooed as he wrapped his hand around your waist, pulling you close as he walked you toward one of the huge glass cases of diamond jewelry, "no need to be nervous, y/n." you smiled shyly as you felt the warmth of his arm against your waist. the glass cases were lined with dark red velvet that complimented the shine of the gold and diamonds that rested upon its surface.

after awhile of looking closely at a few necklaces, you finally found a piece that caught your eye. jake noticed the way you gazed at it through the jewelry case and immediately asked an employee to take it out for you. "here," jake said as he gently moved your hair onto your shoulder, clasping the necklace before moving your hair back to its original position, "it looks beautiful on you, princess." you blushed as you looked at yourself in the mirror, the diamond necklace resting against your skin. "do you like this one?" the employee asked the two of you, looking from you to jake, looking visibly flustered at how attractive jake was. you looked at jake and nodded. he smiled as he unclasped the necklace and handed it back over to the employee. "we'll take it," jake said as he held you close. 

"your total comes out to ₩1,897,267.50," the employee said casually as she took jake's black card and swiped it on the pin pad, handing it back to him once the transaction was completed. the price was enough to make you nauseous.

"i told you that real diamonds would look beautiful around your neck," jake said as he gently caressed the necklace that laid against your soft skin, causing goosebumps to run down your body, "but you wanna know what would look even better around your neck?" he asked as you looked deeply into his eyes, nodding for him to continue. "my hand," he said as he leaned in closer, your lips brushing against his as your heartbeat rises to a level you didn't know existed. 

"what are you implying, hm?" you teased, "show me, jake." 

--------------------------------------------

a simple car make out session turned into you two stumbling into his house, no, sorry, his mansion, bursting into his huge bedroom, and throwing yourselves down on his king size bed. 

"god, you're fucking hot," you breathed out as you toyed with one of the buttons on his shirt. he chuckled and smirked and began to kiss down your neck and shoulders, making your whole body flutter with anticipation. 

anticipation because you'd never done anything like this before; you were a virgin. 

"jake wait," you said softly as you played with his smooth hair, making him stop immediately to make sure he wasn't breaking any of your boundaries, "i, um, i've never done this before." your face turning red in embarrassment from having admitted that you were a virgin. 

"we can stop if you want to-" jake started before you smashed your lips against his, another make out session beginning soon after. "who told you that i wanted to stop?" you asked as you teasingly brushed your fingertips against his cheek. "we'll take it slow, okay? i promise i'll make you feel good, princess."

slowly, you let him take your shirt and bottoms off, leaving you only in your matching black bra and panties. "such a pretty little body," jake breathed out as he ran his hands down your exposed skin, "you're all mine." you bit your lip and nodded as you toyed with his belt, eventually taking it off along with his pants, moaning at the sight of how hard he was. 

he took the diamond necklace off your neck and placed it on his bedside table. "the only thing around your neck is gonna be my hand, isn't that right?" he asked as he positioned himself against the headboard of his bed, motioning for you to sit between his legs. "mhm, jakey," you responded as you cozied your back against his chest. "already such a good girl," he smirked against the back of your head as he planted a kiss on your neck, "let me show you what good girls deserve." slowly, he slid your panties down your legs, teasing your inner thighs in the process, causing you to shiver. 

"let me know if it's too much, okay?" jake said as he began to inch his hand closer and closer to your wet entrance until he eventually brought his fingers to your clit. you gasped at the contact as he began to rub circles around it, putting one of his fingers inside you slowly and beginning to pump it in and out of you. "f-feels good," you moaned out softly as you gripped onto one of his muscular thighs. "yeah? feels good? you're so tight, princess. you might have a little trouble taking my cock," he teased as he began to finger you at a faster pace. you whined out for him, begging him to put another finger in. "please, jakey?" you asked softly, your legs trembling desperately. "how could i say no to such a good girl?" jake cooed as he inserted another finger, moaning at the way your walls squeezed both his ring and middle finger. 

lewd moans and noises escaped your lips as jake continued to finger you, moving his free hand up to your boobs, grabbing and caressing them as he pleased you. 

"w-wanna cum so bad," you whimpered as jake slowed his fingers down, pulling them out of you. "not yet, princess," jake said sternly as he moved you aside to pull his retraining boxers down, revealing his hard length. your eyes lit up innocently at the sight of his member as jake chuckled, pumping himself a few times to tease you. 

"c-can i touch?" you asked softly as you leaned even closer to him. "i would love you to, beautiful, but tonight is about you. you can touch daddy next time, i promise." he said, proceeding to plant a kiss on your soft lips. "now spread your legs for me, sweetheart," jake said softly yet sternly. you followed his orders, leaning against a pillow and spreading your legs for him. he brought his head down between your legs and dragged his tongue up and down your helplessly dripping warmth without warning, causing you to whine and gasp and the new feeling as jake continued to work his tongue around your pussy. 

"jakey," you whined out, biting your lip, "so good. please don't stop." you felt him smirk against your warmth, proceeding to suck on your clit as he held onto your thighs for stability even though they weren't much help considering how much they were trembling. he took mental notes of the way your body reacted to the different things that he did to you, making sure that he pleased you as much as possible.

jake looked up, wiping your excess arousal off of his lips then lining himself up with your mildly overstimulated entrance. "tell me if it hurts, okay, baby? it'll feel good after a little while." jake reassured as he teased your entrance with his tip that leaked precum. you nodded as you let jake push your thighs down onto the bed, eventually pushing a few inches of himself inside your tight entrance. you flinched at the feeling, but jake was quick to offer you his hand to hold, which you gladly accepted. "god, you're so fucking tight," jake groaned out, "i'm so lucky to be the first person who gets to feel you." you whined and nodded. "a-all for you. i'm all daddy's." he smirked against your neck before sucking on a soft section of skin. "yeah, that's right."

soon, he began to slowly move himself in and out of you gently, letting you adjust to his size. "jake, m-more please," you begged quietly as you looked into his eyes. he bit his lip as he began to pick up the pace, causing his head to fall into the crook of your neck as he groaned at the way your walls violently clenched around his cock. 

"fuck, can we switch positions, baby?" jake whispered into your ear, "i want to see that pretty ass bounce against my cock." you nodded as jake got off of you. "ass up, face down, princess," he commanded to which you naturally obeyed, nestling your cheek into the sheets as you arched your back, inviting him to destroy you. "please hurry," you begged, "w-wanna feel you." jake scoffed as he landed a harsh spank on your ass, riling you up even more. "it's your first time and you're already so needy," jake tsked as he shoved himself back inside you, making you moan at the sudden wave of pleasure. 

jake spanked your ass harshly as he pounded into you, your helpless moans and mewls fueling his desire to please you. "jake! so good," you moaned out as you gripped onto the bedsheets. "mhm? daddy making you feel good?" jake asked amorously as he pulled you up so that your back rested against his sweaty chest. "s-so good, jakey," you moaned softly, his thrusts becoming slower as he rubbed your clit, aiding you in reaching your high. 

you practically melted into his hands as you felt your cum run down his veiny member, moaning out his name as he left hickeys on your neck. he slowly lowered your body back down onto the bed to begin ramming himself into you again, making you cry out as he praised you for being such a good toy. "already such a slut and it's only your first time," jake breathed out as his strokes became less uniform and more sloppy. "where do you want daddy's cum, princess?" he asked as he tugged your hair. "i-inside me, please," you moaned softly as jake pulled out of you and laid you down on your back, wanting to look into your eyes while he released his seed inside you. 

you let him continue littering your neck with bites and hickeys as you clawed into his back, moaning uncontrollably at the amount of pleasure being delivered to your body from his. "jakey," you moaned out as his thrusts became stronger, chasing his high as your walls squeezed his hard cock. the sight of his sweaty, toned abs were enough for you to cum all over him again.

"god, you feel so fucking good," jake growled into your ear as his seed coated your tight walls, "next time, we'll go harder, how does that sound, princess?" he asked, you nodding as he kissed your jaw in a caring manner. 

next time, you thought. those two words circulated through your mind.

you both collapsed onto his now unmade bed, panting and sweating but also sharing a few laughs and soft kisses. jake slid his hand between your thighs, bringing his big hand toward your now sore entrance as he planted a kiss on your cheek. "aw, i'm sorry, princess," jake said sweetly, "sorry i made you bleed; it happens when it's your first time, but i promise you'll feel better soon." you smiled shyly into his collarbone. his words struck a soft spot in your heart. it felt almost... intimate. 

"so," jake started, breaking the awkward silence before it could fully set in, "dinner?"

--------------------------------------------

as if you hadn't gotten enough of the 'rich life' experience today, jake surprised you once again by taking you to a nauseatingly expensive restaurant that you never thought you'd set foot into. a typical white tablecloth was draped around a single round table that was decorated with pretty rose petals and a tea light; super cliché and predictable of a fancy restaurant, but still romantic nonetheless. 

"jake?" you asked, prompting him to look up from the menu that you were sure he's seen more than a million times, "has anyone ever told you how sweet you are?" he bit his lip shyly and looked down at the table again. "shhh, you're making me blush, y/n," jake whined as his puppy dog eyes glimmered in the dim lights. "what? i'm serious," you giggled as he put his hand on the nape of his neck, getting shy again. wanting to keep up the whole confident act, you pulled out your phone and took a candid photo of him looking all shy, giggling at the photo you got as a result.

"hey!" he whined again, "two can play that game." jake pulled his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture of you in return, making you cover your face shyly as he teased you for being cute. "see," jake said as he showed the picture to you, "now i have a cute little contact photo for you." you swatted at him playfully as he let out soft laughs, trying not to make the two of you look like idiots inside this fancy restaurant. 

you were on your phone deciding what his name should be on your phone, and you hoped you weren't the only one overthinking it. you went from

jake sim

no

jake

no

jake :)

no

jake... your fingers lingered over your keyboard before ultimately deciding on

jake🤍

was the heart emoji too intense? maybe. but did you care? no. 

little did you know, jake was on the other side of the table having the same dilemma.

y/n y/l/n

no, that's too formal 

y/n

no, that's too generic

y/n :)

no, that seems a little creepy

y/n 💕

he was unsure at first, but ultimately decided that he was going to keep it like that.

"y/n?" jake asked, probably noticing how unnecessarily focused you were on your phone. "oh, yeah," you smiled sheepishly as you looked up from your phone, "sorry about that." he smiled shyly at you as you took a sip of water from a fancy wine glass. 

"hey," jake started, "do you mind if i ask you a question? well, it's more of a proposal; a "business proposal" if you will." he said with air quotes. you cocked your head to the side in confusion but nodded for him to continue. 

"have you every had a sugar daddy before?"

--------------------------------------------

a/n: HI GANG SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG LOL MY BRAIN IS ALL KINDS OF FRIED but no fr i want to make these chapters long and plentiful for you guys so no one has to foam at the mouth waiting too long for what's gonna happen next

but anyway, thank you guys for supporting this series and my page in general, you jake whores <3

-jake whore jardi

taglist @axartia @jjhmk @valiantwastelanddelusion @jayroseyy @ayohahaha @asaheyow

©yunjardi on tumblr

#enhyphen #enhypen smut #jake enhypen #jake Enhypen smut #jake smut #jake sim smut #jake sim x reader #enhypen jake smut #enhypen drabbles #sim jake smut #sim jake imagine #sim jake x reader

[wystericwoes]

Jjk headcanons but I’m right.

Ft. Inumaki, Gojo, and Itadori.

Most SFW I’ll mark NSFW with ⭐️

Asstoru:

-Something that’s obvious is that he’s the biggest tease EVA.

Little quips like “I don’t know do I?”

When you’re just trying to get his feelings about something. Loves to see you frustrated.

-Didn’t lose his V-card until College, and he was 100% not sober. He didn’t even really like who he was with they were just hot and he was tired of being the only virgin. it sounds like a surprise but he’s actually very picky with who he’s with. He may accept numbers and make out with random people at the club but he’s actually very selective with who he brings to bed. his body count isn’t in the hundreds like everyone thinks. (It’s definitely not low either though 😭)

-He would either settle down with someone that challenges him and is just as smart, hardheaded and driven. Or, a total bim/him/thembo. A pretty lil thing he can come home to.

-Love language is gifts and maybe touch.

He loves seeing you get all embarrassed over the bare minimum like flowers on your birthday or expensive chocolate. Nothing makes him happier than seeing a piece of glam they he got you strewn over your neck.

-he’s a raging bisexual but overcompensates for that gay part of him which “how much he likes women.” And made himself a womanizer to avoid dealing with those feelings

⭐️ He’s an annoyingly quick learner. This applies to everything- but especially sex. You can try and hide your reactions and pretend like he’s not doing a good job to try and win this little game you two play, but he’ll just (unfairly) dissect you with six eyes and use his powers to monitor your heartbeat, follow the muscle convulsions of your walls, listen to every little stifled breath and whimper. You can’t hide anything from him! You just masturbated? He knows. You just had a wet dream with him in it? He knows. You just zoned out for .02 seconds because his shirt fits him so well??? He fucking knows! It’s seriously annoying.

⭐️ He uses you as a power trip. Play fights where he pretends you’re winning, or hickeys that you think will last. But the second you look away he heals it and loves how flustered and upset you get. (He’s really just doing it so you’ll mark him up again) repeat ad infinitum until he’s done receiving them.

Inumaki Toe gay:

-His inability to speak was something that he had grown used to. Until he met you, and he found himself wanting desperately to talk to you like everyone else does.

Write. Him. Letters.

No one has ever made an effort to actually get close to him like you do. Sticky notes, texts, hand symbols, the works.

He’s been totally happy sitting idly as people spoke to him or around him, but you don’t settle for that. You insist that he deserves to be heard- and he falls in love almost immediately.

-Love with him is so fucking sweet and funny- it’s the shit you see in books and movies.

-he’s sassy. He’ll just start furrowing his brows you know under his mask he’s pouting because you didn’t want to hold his hand.

“Don’t do that.”

“Okaka.”

He just huffs and turns around.

Sassy man apocalypse survivor.

-He’s so funny and I will DIE on this hill. Sometimes he’s not even trying, he’s just that awesome.

He’ll slip you notes of cheesy pickup lines and flirting that makes you flustered.

-You two are the last to realize that you both like eachother, you both thought it was one sided- but literally anyone who looks at the way you two act with eachother knows.

-Leaves you trinkets/gifts that he thinks you would like.

-Love language is 100% touch

⭐️He whimpers. AHHHGHHG I’m literally going crazy thinking about this but it’s another hill I’ll fucking die on. He can’t tell you or affirm to you what he likes verbally but he is vocal- it’s almost pornographic the way he whines and grips onto the sheets.

⭐️A switch through and through, a bit more vanilla overall but will try anything you like. He probably wouldn’t use his cursed speech on you unless you practically begged him for it, and even then he makes you establish 10 layers of safety precautions. It has to be something you reallllyyy want, he wouldn’t suggest it. And he’d only do the commands you told him you want.

Boobji Itadori:

-Has never felt the touch of a woman in his life 😭

That’s not exactly a secret but yk.

-He says he has a type but he really doesn’t, he’s a total sweetheart. He may check women out with his “ideal type” but he would date anyone who asked him out and make you his world.

-He’s confident in school and friendships but he gets red and flustered easily if you make the first moves, He goes along with it and adapts well though.

-He’s just so fiery and passionate it’s hard to keep up with him sometimes, but his motivation to help others is one of his best qualities, everyone is equal in his eyes.

-He’s a struggling ally. And this applies to everything- not because he doesn’t want to be, but because he’s just stupid 💀.

He’s the type to look at two lesbians walking down the road and start blasting girl in red in solidarity and making a whole scene, or look at stretch marks and say “who did this to you 😡/why did you do this to yourself?🥺”

But he’s trying.

-love language is words of affirmation and acts of service.

Acts of service as in he would rip a tree out for you to prove that he could.

He’s an excellent communicator, Without even trying too, he just does somehow. He’s good at sympathizing with people and is very emotionally intelligent, especially considering all the shit he’s been through.

And don’t you dare try that “it’s nothing” or “I’m fine” shit because he WILL annoy you until you tell him.

-Overall, 10/10. He’s a little stupid but hey isn’t everyone?

@96jnie @noodlejutsu-blog

#yuuji fluff #jjk #jjk fanfic #jujutsu kaisen #fanfic #jjk imagines #jjk x reader #jujutsukaisen fanfiction #fanfiction #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru #jjk inumaki #inumaki fluff #toge inumaki #inumaki toge #yuuji Itadori #jjk gojo #gojo fluff

[violetlunette]

Right, so I’m going to say something that will probably get me some flack but—I think Heinry’s worse than Rashta.

Notes:

*Anti-Heinry

*Slight defense—very slight—of Rashta

*Anti-Ergi

TRIGGER WARNING:

*Mentions of rape

Don’t misunderstand; Rashta’s actions are far worse, and she wrecked a lot of people’s lives. While I sympathize with her, I will never deny that she earned her villain status. However, all her actions were done out of desperation and ignorance.

At the start, Rasta had no idea what her presence would mean to Navier. She just thought the Emperor brought her into the family and that they would share him. And how would she? She was a slave isolated from the world and abused in every way by her owners. (And yet are portrayed as more sympathetic than her, but I digress.) On top of that, in their country, it wasn't uncommon for a kind to take a mistress. How would Rashta have known she was basically a homewrecker?

And then, it was only when others began manipulating her and Navier's brother tried to abort her child, that Rashta purposely lashed out at others to protect herself.

As the story went on, she was abused mentally and emotionally by everyone around her and gaslighted. She only believed one person was on her side, but he was the one behind all her pain and more. (Fuck you Ergi! I hope he gets stabbed with a yeevil fork and tossed out with the rest of the shit.)

I’m not saying she shouldn’t have been accountable, as she should have and was. And Navier's attitude towards her was justified. 

However, Heinry pulled a lot of shit as well, but unlike Rashta, he not only didn’t need to, but he knew better.

The western kingdom was not under threat from the Eastern empire, nor was his kingdom in need of anything. Heinry was just greedy. He was even going to take Navier as a political prisoner to make her fall in love with him through Stockholm. The only reason he didn’t is because of the divorce and Navier proposing marriage to him.

Then there’s his actions towards Krista. 

While not an innocent bird, I don’t think she crossed a moral line that earned her final fate. If I recall right, the worst she did was let a rumor spread. She didn’t even try to take advantage of Heinry when he was under the love potion and passed out on her lap. Yet, he forced her into suicide and had her remaining family spit on her memory. (Good job looking after your brother’s widowed wife, bird shit.)

And when you think about it, Heinry’s partly responsible for everything Rashta has done as he manipulated her through Ergi. Don’t get me wrong, Ergi’s actions are his own, but Heinry is the one who gave him the orders and helped. True, the former would have done what he did without the latter, but Heinry was the one to put him in the position to do so.

And on top of he spent a decade participating in rape by tricking girls into sleeping with him. (What they did is called buddy swap. Look it up yourself for details.)

And again, unlike Rashta, Heinry, a royal Prince raised with a royal education and more, knew better. He knew his actions were harmful and selfish but did it anyway for greed. And, again, there was no need for his actions. The Western kingdom was flourishing and under no threat from any other nation. They were said to be equal in power to the Empire, they just didn't have the name for--reasons.

Heinry wasn’t in a desperate situation where he was worried he would lose everything if he didn’t act, unlike Rashta. Worse, being a man of the world and not a slave, Heinry was well aware of the ramifications of his choices and that people would be hurt. Yet, despite all he did and unlike Rashta, he was never held accountable for anything. Why? Because he's the male lead, who's close to Navier. They get away with everything.

To sum it all up;

While Rashta's crimes were arguably worse, they were done out of ignorance, manipulation of several parties, and desperation. She had no idea what else to do other than what she did, and her choices were limited due to her gender, status, and knowledge.

Heinry’s actions were out of selfishness, greed, and of his own free will. No one pushed him to do anything, he CHOSE to even though he didn’t have to and had several options before him. Had he stayed his hand, he wouldn’t have lost anything. And again, through Ergi, he manipulated Rashta, so Heinrey has a hand in her crimes, as well.

He had choices and several options, and he chose the ones that hurt others. Yet was never held accountable for any of it and was even rewarded for being a terrible person. 

And that’s why I find him worse than Rashta.

#mine #not in the remarried empress fandom #but this was nagging at me so I decided to get it out #if you like bird shit fine #I don't #I only liked that he helped Navier screw her ex over #that's it #anti heinry #anti heinrey #anti ergi #rastha #the remarried empress #take with a grain of salt #I'm not saying Rashta's better #just more sympathetic

[urmomlikeslinotoo]

Summertime Sadness— Yang Jungwon

Genre: angst… only angst, lovers to exes

Pairing: idol!Jungwon x gn!reader

Warnings: loads of crying, neck kissing, cuddling, yeah that’s about it

Words: 500+

author’s note: man i really like writing depressing shit i’m sorry 😔😔 i promise i’ll write something nice and fluffy next time

“HUG ME”

He wrapped his arms around your smaller figure as you cried. Sobs wracking through your body, you clung onto him tightly, fearing he’d leave you sooner than you wanted.

He hated seeing you cry. You never cried, and when he did see you cry that one time, he promised himself that he’d do everything he could to never see you cry again.

He broke his promise.

He couldn’t stay with you. His job demanded too much from him and he didn’t have time for you. Even though you told him that you were fine with it, the guilt ate him up from inside.

You deserved better, he told himself, you deserved someone who could be by your side and did have time for you. You deserved so much better than him, and so he made this decision.

You pulled his sweater closer to you, trying to imprint his scent in your memory. You’d never get to smell it again, that sweet, honey scent. His unique scent you loved.

He held his tears back as much as he could, but he couldn’t help a few tears slipping down his cheeks. He was going to lose the love of his life, he was going to lose you.

“Please” You choked, burying your face into his chest, hoping this was just a dream. He wasn’t leaving you, he wasn’t.

His arms tightened around you, it felt like a distant wish. His hold felt alien, it felt cold.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I’m so weak” He sniffled, bumping his nose into the crown of your head. Your hair smelled of lemons and vanilla, a perfect combination.

2 years of happiness, of blissfulness, of peace and serenity, gone in the blink of an eye. Your two years together would soon mean nothing. They would be nothing the next morning. He’d leave you with nothing.

“Please, please don’t leave me” You sobbed, gripping his sweater tightly between your fingers.

He shook his head, his body shaking slightly. He shut his eyes tightly as tears now poured uncontrollably down his face. He shoved his face into the top of your head, pleading you to stop.

You desperately kissed his neck, reminding him that he was yours, and you were his. You reminded him where only you could kiss him. That no one else would be the same, that you were the only one who could do this for him.

He shook his head even more now, begging you to let him go. He begged, but he made no attempt to push himself away, instead he pulled you flush against himself, not wanting to let go.

And so you laid there, two broken people with broken hearts and a ruined future. Your hearts still beat for each other, but that would have to change. Because you couldn’t go through that kind of pain again, so you had to let go.

It was the summer of 2023, and you lost the love of your life. He wasn’t yours anymore, and he never would be.

Yang Jungwon became your summertime sadness.

#maria’s art! #jungwon x reader #jungwon x y/n #jungwon x you #jungwon angst #jungwon drabble #jungwon headcannons #jungwon scenarios #jungwon au #enhypen au #enhypen #enhypen x you #enhypen x y/n #enhypen x reader #enhypen fanfiction #fanfiction #enhypen sad hours #enha #kpop #enhypen angst #korean #korea #lol i’m sorry

[alice-after-dark]

some babble dump expanding further on this post, this post, and this post about why Vox is in Hell. There will probably be more posts about this because I am fascinated by this sentient TV.

TW for sexual abuse, abusive relationships, victim blaming, gaslighting, mentions of suicide, mentions of homophobia, and other canon-typical triggers. Contains abusive StaticMoth.

So unlike a lot of headcanons I see about Vox's human life, I actually think he didn't have a lot of power when he was alive. That's part of why he's so power hungry and a control freak in Hell. He never wants to go back to being powerless. I think that Vox's big sin that landed him in Hell was that he saw the abuse and suffering going on around him and chose to remain silent about it for the sake of his own career and success. Because most people don't start out bad, I do like to think that the first time he witnessed something, he did try to express concern to his boss and was shut down hard. I imagine the term "blacklist" was probably involved (potentially even a prod at his sexuality, though whether this was just to scare him or because the producer actually had some clue is up for debate). So he shuts up like a good little boy, not willing to lose everything he has worked for. Besides, that starlet he saw coming out of his boss' office in tears got the gig, didn't she? So really it's just about doing what you need to do to get ahead in the game (at least that's how he rationalizes it to himself).

And the more he witnesses, the more normalized it becomes to him. It's just...part of the industry. You do what you gotta do to stay on top, to stay relevant. If anything, there's a part of him that is almost jealous that these women can use their sexuality to get ahead while if he were to offer the same, it would destroy him. And that is how he starts to see it, how he convinces himself to look away. These women are doing this to get ahead in their careers. They don't need help. And then he finally gets a role on a popular late night show as a cohost and he is over the moon. He has worked his whole life for this. Every menial job, every audition, every jab and jeer and degradation has been worth it because he has finally made it. And then he witnesses his cohost being abused by their producer and instead of sympathy, it makes him angry. He has worked his ass off to get where he is and all she had to do was get on her knees? It enrages him.

On air, they're jovial and have great chemistry, but once those cameras stop rolling and they're away from the audience, he goes cold to her and certainly doesn't bother to intervene when their producer wants to private meeting or two with her. It's not his business anyways. Even when she finally ends her own life due to the abuse, he just...pushes down that feeling that something is so very wrong and continues on as the show's solitary host. He can't rationalize her death as easily so he just...ignores it entirely. He throws himself into his work and ignores it. It haunts him. It haunts him when her sister breaks into the studio and demands answers from him.

Why did she do it? Why why why why why?

He has no answer to give her. Because how can he explain it away to her when he hasn't even managed to explain it to himself? At least, not without admitting that something is so very wrong. And he can't do that.

This is what makes his relationship with Valentino so fun to explore for me. He spent his entire human life turning a blind eye to all the abuse around him for the sake of furthering his own career and now, still for the sake of furthering his own career and power, he finds himself trapped in an abusive relationship, one that he desperately keeps out of the public eye. Because it would make him look weak. And he can absolutely not be weak again.

In Hell, he has so much power and yet...he's still terrified of losing everything.

(Side note that this is a big reason Vox holds no sympathy for Angel Dust. As far as he's concerned, Angel is just another leech trying to get ahead in the world, using his body for fame and fortune. The dumb bitch wanted to be famous so badly that he sold his soul to Valentino. His mistakes are his own fault. He got what he wanted, didn't he? He's the most famous whore in Hell. At least this is how Vox sees it. Because admitting that Angel doesn't want this - admitting that HE doesn't want this - means admitting that all those women he ignored and even hated during his lifetime were actually in need of his help and he can't do that.)

#hazbin vox #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #hazbin headcanons #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin valentino #hazbin angel dust #staticmoth #alice rambles

[b0ustr0phed0n]

Over-Dubbed:

How to Lose a German Character by Making them Speak German

(I've never posted on Tumblr before, and this essay is longer than I intended. Hopefully the formatting works okay.)

Getting lost in the translation

When people say something was “lost in translation,” they are speaking of incorrectly or incompletely rendered meaning—a joke that doesn’t land, a pun that doesn’t work, a reference no one knows. But there is another kind of loss. The paradoxical loss that occurs when a translation creates meaning from incomprehensibility.

I went to see Anatomy of a Fall last week on a whim, in a German theater, in Germany, where I live. I didn’t know anything about it going in except that it was about a murder case and had won awards. And I will confess, I grew nervous when I saw the wall of French text that precedes the film. It was unsubtitled, which I thought was a bad sign. And it was, just not in the way I anticipated. Soon a voice started speaking German and I relaxed. For a while.

Now first, let me say that the dubbing was excellent. Germany has a long-established dubbing industry and the translators, voice actors, sound mixers, et al. are good at their craft. Side note: Let me also thank the German marketing department for recognizing what a gift they had in the title translation (Anatomie des Falls) and letting it stand. There always seems to be a strong urge in German cinema to tack on a superfluous secondary title. The film could have easily ended up called Anatomie des Falls: Tot in den Alpen.* The voice actor for Sandra, the main character, does a wonderful job—she is calm, she is desperate, she is sometimes enraged. She stumbles and hesitates and sometimes seems to search for words, and the sounds of the hesitation markers are well-timed to the visuals. At no point did I feel—as I often do when watching German dubs—that the actors were struggling to get all the syllables out in the time it took the original actor to say the same thing in their language. But there is also another reason the voice actor does such a great job.

*You should also be proud of me for not titling this essay "Anatomy of a Fail"

If you have seen this film or read about it, or if you are aware of the main actor, Sandra Hüller, you will know that she is German. She’s dubbing herself. I did not know who she was, and so I began the film assuming she was French and so was her character. Not long into the movie, however, I began to feel like I was missing something. Something more than the usual flattening of character that takes place when actors with various regional accents and speaking patterns are all dubbed into flawless Hochdeutsch. It took me a while to pin down what was going on. It wasn’t until midway through the film, when Sandra looks over at a court interpreter before she starts speaking, that I realized that all of this immaculately overdubbed German was masking something important: Not everyone in this movie speaks the same language.

The film gives you a few clues in the dialogue that point to her being a foreigner, but they are easy to miss. And why not? To anyone listening to the original voices, it’s abundantly clear. Possibly there is some crucial information in the opening conversation between Sandra and an interviewer, but I couldn’t hear most of it over the booming music that is the real point of the scene. At one point in the film, she mentions that she had been happier living in London with her husband. She also says something about “starting in a little German village and ending up in a little French village.” She surely wasn’t speaking German, though, because that’s what I was hearing and her mouth didn’t match. So I figured she was probably English.

If you aren’t an experienced lip reader—and I’m not—it’s not easy to pick out what language someone is speaking underneath a dub. You have to translate backwards in your head very quickly, try and get slightly ahead of the script, and then watch to see whether the person’s mouth matches the words you think they ought to be saying. I definitely missed some visual details in the courtroom (apparently they had a big tapestry of Justice in there?) because I was staring intently at Sandra’s mouth. 

But eventually I was able to determine she was speaking English. Okay, I thought. Presumably she’s from England and prefers to speak her first language in a courtroom. Understandable. So would I. I must have misunderstood the line about Germany. Perhaps that line was changed in the dub script to reduce cognitive dissonance, since everyone listening would be hearing her speak perfect, accent-free German, the same as every other character.

This mystery solved, I moved on to the next: When is she speaking English? In court, obviously, but how about at home? Is she speaking English to her lawyer, who’s clearly an old friend? To her son? Did she and her husband communicate in English? Reader, I couldn’t tell. For one thing, it’s distracting and exhausting to spend the whole 2 ½ hours reverse-engineering English dialogue in real time (there’s a reason I’m a translator, not an interpreter), and for another, much of the dialogue between Sandra and her husband is reported speech, recreated through re-enactments, retellings, and audio recordings. There was no way to know how many layers of translation were involved.

Translation as theme

I’d like to pause for a moment (and I will!) to discuss some of the themes of the movie. If you haven’t seen it, don’t worry—I won’t spoil the ending. Sandra is accused of murdering her husband after their mostly-blind son finds him dead in the snow outside their home in the Alps. The film follows the investigation and trial, slowly revealing the secrets, struggles, and private grudges of the household. Sandra and her husband are/were both writers—one more successful than the other. They live in the village of his childhood. They argue about normal things: angst, guilt, feelings of inadequacy, who has sacrificed the most, what’s best for their child. At one point Sandra’s husband accuses her of stealing his ideas for her books.

In court, Sandra is tasked with interpreting these arguments for a hostile audience. A great deal of the runtime is spent clarifying feelings, relationships, moods, tones of voice, volume levels, et cetera. The media following the trial seem to find her interesting, but largely unsympathetic. In a flashback, her husband points out that she rarely smiles. Did she kill him? The film stubbornly refuses the audience access to unmediated facts. Even when we know there is more evidence, we have to wait to find out from an analyst in court like everyone else.

So: this is a film about translation. How do we translate observations into evidence? How do we translate our private lives for an audience? If you’ll permit me to wear my nerdiest of translator hats: In essence, all communication is translation. When you speak to someone, you are translating your thoughts into a new medium—spoken words—and hoping the listener will succeed in translating these words into thoughts that approximate yours. The fact that this is an imperfect process is evidenced by all the ways we misunderstand each other. Every layer of mediation results in a slightly altered reality. This is a crucial and often misunderstood aspect of translation: the translator’s job is not to recreate the same words in a new language or medium, it’s to recreate, as much as possible, the same effect upon the audience. That’s why your favorite foreign songs sound lame when you throw the lyrics into Google Translate: Only a fraction of a song’s power lies in the literal meaning of the words. When translated as prose, they turn into rhythmless husks.

Pass the language, it’s my turn

If you ever played the game “telephone” as a kid, you know how hard it is to send a simple message around a room in one language. Sending a message through multiple languages is what’s known as “relay translation,” and while it is sometimes necessary, it is never ideal. Have you ever amused yourself by putting the same text through a translation machine a dozen times? Professional human translators are better than machines, but there’s only so long you can stretch a chain of translation before the ends start to look very different.

When Sandra, who, by the way, is explicitly a translator—it’s stated in the film that she earns extra income through translation, although she does not say which languages she works in—has to explain her arguments with her husband in court, she is translating not only her own thoughts, but also what she believes his thoughts to have been. This is then translated again through the court interpreter, and then AGAIN, separately, in the dubbing process. (For simplicity’s sake, we’ll skip all the additional translation layers external to the film: writing the script, reading the script, acting, voice acting, filming, editing, the medium through which the film is played, etc.) The chain of translation, as I understood it while watching, looks like this:

Diagram 1: Translation chains*

Before you think I’m here to condemn dubbing as a practice, the chain for an audience reading subtitles would be just as long. That’s just what happens when a film reaches international audiences.The reason I’m illustrating the different routes meaning must travel to reach these audiences is because language does not exist in a vacuum. Our interpretations of words depend heavily on context. You may be wondering why I’ve included the court’s thoughts in this diagram. Well, the knowledge that the court is hearing Sandra’s words through an interpreter informs the way you listen to her. A French-speaking audience is aware that some of the people in this film are hearing Sandra differently, but they themselves are forced to interpret her through the medium of a language they may not speak fluently or at all.**

*Since we are shown Sandra speaking, I assume this split trajectory is present in both the undubbed and dubbed versions—that the audience hears her words rather than the court interpreter’s. In case you were wondering, if I tried to explain the husband’s motivations to you, you would be Audience C, three more steps and another language shift down from Audience B.

**I would be interested to know whether Sandra gets subtitled when this film plays to francophone audiences. I found one French review complaining that she wasn’t, but I don’t read enough French to search adequately.  

Context is everything

Imagine for a moment you are walking down the street in some American small town and you pass a clothing store with t-shirts hanging in the window. Each features a design and a phrase, and all the phrases are nonsensical. The context of this store tells you this is on purpose—this store markets to people who enjoy the absurd. You may read the shirts, laugh, take a picture. Lol, look at this: [photo of shirt with an image of a ghost and the words “bump of chicken”]. You would then carry on with your day. Now imagine you walk past this same store in Japan. You could of course react the same way—Japan is equally capable of absurd humor—but now another option presents itself. After a few moments spent pondering the chicken shirt, it clicks: Goosebumps. Not an attempt at absurd humor but a casualty of mistranslation. The shirt has not changed; it is the context that prompts you to read deeper. Awareness of translation affects its interpretation.

It’s time for my grand reveal that is not a reveal to anyone familiar with the movie or who read the title of this essay: Sandra the character is not English. The line about the village was not changed—like the actor, the character really is German. I discovered this because I looked up the film during the bus ride home from the theater, not because I was able to tell at any point while watching it. What does this mean? It means this is a film about translation in which the main character is German, her husband is French, and she communicates in English both with him and with the court. Remember when I said there’s another reason the voice actor is so good here? It’s Sandra Hüller—she’s dubbing herself.

If we return to our chart, Audience B is aware that they are watching a French film. This means, when interpreting the plot, they can take it as presented in German, or try to put themselves in the shoes of Audience A and interpret it as they believe a French audience would. However, without the benefit of hearing Sandra and her husband speak, this is a difficult task.

Diagram 2: Audience A as imagined by Audience B

Depending on which languages you assume each person speaks, this chain may be as simple as French-French-French-French-French-German, as complicated as French-English-German-English-French-German, or anywhere in between. I believe Sandra’s careful deliberation of her words is meant to add ambiguity to her character. Is she simply struggling to explain her relationship, or is she using the time to come up with lies? By having her speak a language foreign to both her and the audience, the filmmakers make the situation even harder to judge. Audience A is hearing her speak English with a German accent, a constant reminder of all these layers of mediation. Audience B is hearing her speak German with a German accent, the same as every other character.

Hey, you dropped your accent

When I say “the same as every other character,” I mean that not only is everyone in the German dub speaking German (obviously), no one has an accent. Or rather, they all have the same accent, which amounts to the same thing. Accents and other dialectical features tell us a lot more than simply whether or not someone is foreign. In fact, they tell us more when the person is not foreign, because we are more attuned to minute differences in our own native language and dialect. Often, the first few words out of a character’s mouth tells us not only where they grew up, but also their social class, how they view themselves in relation to the person they’re talking to, and how they wish to be perceived: Are they trying to sound more or less educated than they are? Are they putting on a particular accent to blend in? Does their way of speaking gel with our expectations based on their physical appearance? Is it supposed to? Can we the audience even understand what they’re saying? Is their incomprehensibility meant to be funny or tragic?

When dubbing over a performance, we must return to our question of effect: To what extent can we replicate the effect of these dialectical markers on the new target audience? This is obviously a difficult task, and would necessitate looking critically at stereotypes and prejudices both at home and abroad. But I would respect the German film industry a lot more if they would even make an attempt.

Again, this is not a condemnation of dubbing as a practice. In fact, dubbing creates an opportunity here that is not present when subtitling. We cannot expect a foreign audience to pick up on dialectical cues in a language they do not speak, but we can replace them with similarly-weighted cues in their own language when those exist. German voice actors sometimes put on silly voices or use odd inflections to spice up a performance, but there is a stubborn resistance to using regional accents and dialects. Which is a shame. Like any language that evolved across a wide area for hundreds of years, German is secretly 47 languages in a trenchcoat, pretending to be the same thing for the purposes of national identity. Imagine if, in every British movie, all the actors were forced to speak in BBC English regardless of who they were and where they were from. Imagine if Jack Sparrow, Oliver Twist, Tony Soprano, and the cast of Bridgerton all sounded like they went to the same high school. How much of their identity would be lost? All of these characters are native English speakers. And none of their stories are about them struggling to defend themselves before a court in a foreign country.

As always, it comes back to effect. Not every character needs a regional accent. But sometimes their regional accent is important, and their actions and relationships make less sense without it. Many of the same associations exist internally between various German accents as exist among speakers of different types of English or French or Arabic. It doesn’t have to be a 1:1 equivalency. But why not make the effort to convey something? Am I saying all Texans in German dubs should have Bavarian accents? Yes.

So what?

I want to head off some criticism from people who will say I’m reading far too much into this, that no one is thinking about chains of translation while watching a movie about a murder trial, that dubbing is such a long-established practice in Germany that most Germans are hardly aware of it and consume films as if they were written and filmed in German. Perhaps. But this is also a problem. Not necessarily for all films—that’s a matter of taste—but certainly for this one.  I read every non-professional German review I could find, and not one of them mentioned that German actor Sandra Hüller speaks English throughout this entire film. Three people did suggest it was better to watch it undubbed. Everyone else, even those who praised the film’s dialogue, did so without any acknowledgment that the film is bilingual. One German reviewer on Amazon seems to think this is a German film.

As I write this, Anatomy of a Fall has 4 stars on Amazon.com, 4.1 on Amazon.fr, and 3.8 on Amazon.de. Many of the German reviews there and elsewhere complain that the movie is boring. And why not? It’s slow-paced to begin with, and then, chances are they were only allowed to hear half the story. And how ironic is it that Hüller’s primary performance as a German actor playing a German character is inaudible in German theaters? Give the woman some more awards—she had to make this movie twice.

Germans’ over-reliance on dubbing accidentally erased the German identity of a character. If everything is always dubbed, a film could contain half a dozen languages and you wouldn’t even know. It’s easy to assume that underneath the German lies another monolingual script. Maybe you’ll wonder why, in a brief scene, Sandra’s son is making her repeat nonsensical phrases. To be honest, I feel the translation is partly at fault in this scene. I don’t remember the German phrases emphasizing any particular phoneme. I think it was nonsensical French for the purposes of speaking practice translated into nonsensical German for the purposes of nothing. This is a classic example of meaning-based rather than effect-based translation.*

*This is another difficult case, since normally you could focus on a particular German phoneme that is difficult for non-native speakers, such as /ü/. However, since Sandra is supposed to be German, we run into a recursive translation problem where, in order for the scene to make sense on its face level (Sandra is practicing her accent), it has to be illogical on another (Sandra is practicing her accent in her native language). Any solution is going to be imperfect, but I’d argue that it’s more important to understand what is going on in the scene.

Other ways this could have been handled

The obvious solution

Subtitle everything. This is an obvious answer, but not my favorite. For one thing, it risks driving away much of its potential German audience, who are used to dubs and generally prefer them to subtitles. For another, it implies that dubs are inherently inferior, which I do not believe is the case. They are both important translating tools and have different strengths and weaknesses.

My favorite solution

Dub the French parts, but leave the English parts in English and subtitle those. This is my favorite option. Why limit yourself to one tool? It doesn’t shorten the chain in Diagram 1, but it brings audiences A and B closer together by clarifying Diagram 2. Plus, are we to believe that German audiences are any less capable than French audiences of handling a bit of English?

The one I would love to see that will never happen

Dub everyone, but give all the other characters French accents. I think this is often considered hokey, but I personally love it. If I can’t hear the original language itself, at least give me some of its flavor.

Coming soon: A (hopefully shorter) post wherein I complain about subtitling practices

#subtitles #sandra huller #translation #anatomy of a fall #Anatomie des Falls #dubbing #synchronisierung

[mxdnights0]

Fishhooks

Authors Note: This chapter is a little different. It is from the perspective of Tigris Snow, and its her thoughts during some of the events up until now. Its a bit shorter the regular chapters, but next chapters will be longer :)

Tigris’ POVIf I had known what all of this would come to, I wouldn’t have been as sure of myself when I helped him. Corio was such a sweet child, and he had been my best friend. I had asked myself what had happened. What had changed in him.

 I used to have him clinging to my arm.. Hiding behind me when he got too scared of being in front of people, and now? He wouldn’t even spare a second to even look at me. I understood that losing Grandma'am hurt, especially since he was still in district 2 when it happened. I understood more than anything. 

I was alone until Corio came back to the capitol, working every day to the bone just to make ends meet and be able to feed myself. There were days I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep because I had to stay awake incase people got too close. Then, Corio came home. He wasn’t the same anymore.We moved into the flat we had all shared before, but he had the locks changed so I couldn’t get in once he finally moved up to be Doctor Gaul’s apprentice. He got me a job as a stylist for District 4 in the games, but he refused to see me.

That's when I realized something. He was just like his father, and he was no longer the boy I had protected when we grew up. That's when I started to change too. I no longer saw him as the little boy I longed to have back, but what he was truly turning into. A creature of immense hate. Of hunger for power. It wasn’t until I met Mags Flanagan that I realized just how evil he could be.

The first time I saw Mags cry was the night of the interviews. She sang a song. It was a beautiful but woeful tune that had etched its way into my brain just the year before. Lucy Gray, I remembered. The girl no one was to speak of. I had been through my fair share of breakups, but none had resulted in forcing the entirety of Panem to never mention them again.

I walked into the observation deck where I had seen the peacekeepers drag Mags into. I know I shouldn’t, but Mags had become my friend. I was worried about her. She had crumbled onto the ground, her chest rising and falling slowly. I rushed over, dropping to my knees and helping her sit up. It revealed a bright red handmark on the side of her face that set an ice cold stab into my heart. “Corio did this..?” Mags only nodded, her eyes so full of tears that it seemed she could explode if anything weren’t let out soon. Her eyes went to the screen, mine following as I saw the horrors. Mags family, all dead. From her parents to her siblings. The youngest had only been one year old, Mags told me. My heart were completely and utterly shattered as I pulled Mags into a hug, my eyes not leaving the screen. Coriolanus was just like his father now, and he was not family anymore. I think that was when the hatred started.

I knew then that I could never stand with him on things again. We’d never see eye to eye on anything again. The Corio I knew died the moment he entered that arena. My cousin died when the rebels bombed it. This Coriolanus wasn’t anyone I wanted to be associated with, and in a way? I wasn’t upset. I had never disliked him before, even though I had sacrificed everything in my being to protect him during the dark days. The nights I had gone without food just so he had enough for his stomach to not ache at night. It was like he had seen those sacrifices and spat on them. He obviously didn’t care about me, so I would learn to forget about any love I still had for him. I’d never support anyone that would kill innocent people for the fun of it. 

As I held Mags in my arms, trying desperately for her to get a solid breath in and out, I forgot how messy things could be. This had been the horrible downfall of almost an entire family line. Mags was alone now. Going into the games. With no one to trust, because I know for a fact that Dolion would betray her without a second thought, not a single thought in his tiny little mind. I had a job now, and that was to be there for Mags. We both knew that behind her bold and loud front, she was like fine china. Fragile and small. Easily breakable. She would win these games, and I would be there to pick the pieces of her up, put her back together. I had to. And if Coriolanus were to ever see a downfall like he deserved, I knew I wanted to be part of it.

I was done with being treated like that. I wouldn’t let myself be used for someone else's gain anymore. I wasn’t a pushover. Not anymore.

#finnick odair #josh hutcherson #hunger games #the hunger games #mags flanagan is a bisexual icon #mags flanagans games #mags flanagan #tigris snow #tbosbas #president snow

[esther-dot]

Lyanna and Elia death actually hit the readers with emotions. Both were innocent who died because of others actions. We get to know about them more from their close families and friends and we sympathize with them. The way Ned, Oberyn and Doran mourn them leaves impact. Ned tore down the tower of Joy and commit treason to protect Jon. Oberyn risk his own life to seek justice for his sister. Yet same can't be said about Rhaegar because the people and his family has no real connection or emotions with him. Viserys never really told Dany about Rhaegar being a brother. Dany is obsessed with the idea of Rhaegar who she don't know. Jon Con who is obsessed with him had no real connection with him.

(prev ask)

They really do! Martin did a very good job conveying horror and grief over their fates. I won’t insert the quote about Elia, it’s so deeply disturbing, and the image of her babies before the throne… devastating. Everyone talks about Ned's trauma for a reason, even though we're books past his last breath, his memories of Lyanna's death, his inner torment, they're haunting.

Tbh, I'm gonna happily hate on Rhaegar regardless of where Martin takes things, so I have to really work to be unbiased. But, when I look at certain elements that pop up in Jon’s chapters that are meant to reach back into pre-canon and bring Rhaegar into the story, I’ve evolved how I read it, and don’t think Martin was writing Rhaegar as a sadistic fuck. I have to think, given the contradictory pictures we're given, that Martin is writing about what he repeatedly has written about. What do we do with people who are several things, different things, all at once?

The Hound saves Sansa, then threatens her life. Tyrion is a villain who chooses to not have sex with Sansa because he can't ignore her fear. Jon sees Ygritte weep over a song and the fate of giants, smile at him, and then callously murder an innocent man before nearly killing Jon. Martin believes in what I’ve called “expansive” characterization. They characters are multifaceted not to make us ignore one side, but to ask us to develop our ability to feel fear and compassion, to feel warmth and a chill, to find things to love and hate in the same place.

I admire that and think it's crucial not only to fully enter the characters' worlds and POV, but to be able to embrace the anti war theme. The books have so much more meaning when I accept that I love Ned, I believe the Westerosi were right to overthrow the Targs, but from Dany’s perspective, she is right to despise Starks. Her family was killed. To have Targs and Starks alike think of what Elia’s babies suffered with horror, even while they are on opposing sides of the war, that’s the truth about the war, isn't it? What we're meant to find at the heart of it all? It is tragedy for everyone. That’s what makes the series anti-war, it has to avoid glorifying violence, not just say it’s sad to lose—it must still be awful to win. When Maester Aemon mourns the death of his family, desperately wants to save Daenerys, I am meant to feel the tragedy in this, listen to the pain on both sides.

(I mean, I'm hardcore anti targ and all they represent, but I'm talking about what I believe Martin ideally wants)

As much as I believe Jon will have strong negative feelings about Rhaegar's choices, horror even, I can't imagine that Martin will write Jon's feelings as entirely one-note. He's gonna introduce some conflict, he always does. We don't yet know what that might be, but when I was rereading the Mance meeting, saw how Mance and Jaime both had a connection to Jon's central struggle, realized how the Rhaegar-esque aspect of Mance was associating Rhaegar to it all...well, I did entertain the thought that Rhaegar's actions can be read as a parallel to Jon's theme:

"Then Lord Eddard is a man in ten thousand. Most of us are not so strong. What is honor compared to a woman's love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms … or the memory of a brother's smile? Wind and words. Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy. (AGOT, Jon VIII)

Obviously, this is primarily about Jon, I expect it to play out in Jon’s story, but it does sound Rhaegar-esque. Jon might have been that baby to Rhaegar.

That would mean we condemn him for how he failed Elia and the babies, his kingdom, that Jon would still that horror, but would prevent Jon from being able to completely despise the man, as he too has felt torn between vows and love.

(insert my caveats re: prophecy baby, being very much at peace with Rhaegar bleeding out etc)

The pain comes in with complexity, and I think that’s what Martin wants even if I’m personally unmoved by it.

#anti rhaegar #r+l=j #dot chat

[jammatown919]

One Last Chance

I wrote this to cope. It doesn’t take place at any particular point in time; the only important note is that Ruby does have Penny’s sword. 

Ruby was alone, in every sense of the word.

She didn't have to be, she knew. Her team wasn't far, just through the tree line where she'd left them asleep in favor of wandering the darkened shore. She could go back to them, be in their company, maybe even talk to them, but some large, loud part of her screamed that it wouldn't help.

It wasn't that her team was incapable of helping her; they were a welcome distraction when awake and on task, but now night had fallen, and everyone but Ruby was still and silent and she couldn't stand it. She couldn't sleep like they were, and she didn't want to wake them to talk about what was weighing so heavily on her.

In the back of her mind, she resented them for not being as torn up. If she was being realistic, they probably were upset. Weiss had even cried. Just because Ruby was the most upset didn't mean nobody else had been affected by the news that they'd lost someone. But... seeing Blake and Yang joke and laugh like nothing was wrong and Weiss freak out at the world around them as if that were the only thing to be concerned about... some traitorous little part of her brain said they didn't care.

She was alone in her grief, it said, determined to torment her. But of course none of them had been affected the way she had. None of them had loved Penny the way she had. It didn't mean they didn't care. Penny was their friend, and they cared, it was just that Penny had been so much more to her. Something she couldn't stand to lose, only now she had lost her, and she didn't know what to do.

She'd sworn to herself, so long ago now, that she would not let her second chance slip away from her. She would be by Penny's side whenever she possibly could, and she would be there the next time her friend needed her. And then she hadn't been there, and all she had to show for that second chance was a new set of memories, many of them of Penny in distress, and a single, precious sword.

That sword was her only protection in the absence of Crescent Rose, and she probably needed it. With the Jabberwalker, Neo, who knew what else inhabiting this strange place, wandering alone at night wasn't exactly safe. She almost wished something would jump out and attack her just so she could focus on something else; something she could actually fight off.

But there was nothing. Just Ruby Rose, alone with her thoughts and the last piece of her best friend, wandering the quiet shore.

It was beautiful, objectively. The waves lapped calmly at the sand, moonlight reflecting off the clear water. She wanted to appreciate it, but all she could think about was how much Penny would have loved a scene like this. That poor, precious girl might never have even seen an ocean before, and now she'd never get the chance.

The unfairness of it all gripped Ruby's heart as she turned away from the water and kept walking along the sand. Penny hadn't deserved any of what had been done to her. For as long as Ruby had known her, Penny had been used as a pawn in other people's games, never free to live her own life. She deserved to live for real.

Ruby wished, desperately, that she could go back in time and tell Penny to just be selfish for once. Turn away, go to Vacuo, put herself first. But Penny never would have agreed to that. She was too good, too kind. She never could have fled when there were still people to be saved, and even though that quality was one of the reasons Ruby had fallen in love with her, she hated it now. There had never been a selfish bone in Penny's body, and if there had been, she might still be alive.

It wasn't fair.

Why did someone so good have to suffer so much, only to never get the happy ending she deserved? Penny had always looked out for everyone else, but who had been looking out for her?

Me, Ruby thought bitterly, and what a great job I did.

She clutched desperately at Penny's sword and opened her mouth as if to apologize to it, but what was the point? Penny couldn't hear her. Still, she pressed her forehead against the flat of the smooth, cool blade. It soothed the ache behind her eyes, and sometimes, when she held it close, she felt like Penny was still somewhere near.

She could feel it now, like her friend was beside her and all she had to do was reach out and Penny would be in her arms again. Oh, the things she would do if she could hold Penny again.

Despite what she knew to be true, she reached. One hand extended toward the water, the other keeping the blade close, and something began to pull at her.

She knew this feeling. It was the same certain, familiar tug that had brought the sword to her attention at the auction. Something else was calling her now. Another piece of the girl she loved.

Without hesitation, Ruby followed the pull. She felt like she owed Penny the dignity of not leaving her things scattered all over some strange world she'd never seen. Whatever it was, Ruby would keep it safe, cherish it like the sword, and use it to keep Penny's memory alive.

She kept walking, leaving her team farther and farther behind, loyally following that vague sense of Penny the way she should have stuck close to her in the first place.

It took ten minutes for Ruby to stop, and not because she'd found anything. She'd simply gone as far as she could along the sand. The tug, she was sure now, came from somewhere beyond the shore. Something of Penny's had ended up in the water.

Without much concern for her clothing, Ruby stepped out into the gentle tide, scanning for anything that didn't seem to belong.

She was shin-deep in the shallows when she noticed it. A large something, laying in such a way that Ruby would have mistaken it for a rock in the dark if not for that gentle tug. It was half-submerged, and from what Ruby could see, it was too large to be anything Penny could have had on her at the time of her death. It almost seemed the size of a person.

Oh.

Oh, Gods.

Ruby broke into what passed for a sprint when one's legs were hindered by water, splashing clumsily toward what she knew was her friend's corpse. She didn't know what she was going to do with it -- she loathed the idea of burying it somewhere so unfamiliar -- but she couldn't just leave it here.

She hit her knees with a splash beside the body. Penny's back was turned to her, but that gorgeous red mane was unmistakable. Even soaked through and floating around her head, it was beautiful, but Ruby preferred to remember it fluffy and soft the way Penny had always liked to keep it.

"Oh, Penny," she sobbed out, grabbing at Penny's shoulder to turn her over.

That, it turned out, was a mistake.

She had not been ready for the sight of Penny's front covered with blood that the waves had not managed to wash away. There were holes in her blouse, showing just the smallest hints of the mortal wounds beneath. And her dear face, pale and frozen in a miserable, exhausted expression.

Weiss had never told her exactly how Penny had died, but now Ruby knew her friend had suffered, and that was so much worse than anything else. Fate couldn't even grant her a merciful death. Why did the world hate her so much?

"I'm so sorry," Ruby moaned, face wet with tears. "I'm so sorry."

Then, inexplicably, both the body and sword tugged at her again. Neither moved, but she could feel them pulling toward each other. Almost like Penny wanted her sword back.

And who was Ruby to deny her anything, when she'd already lost everything?

As gently as possible, Ruby laid the sword over Penny's body, reuniting weapon and Huntress at last. And then the sword disappeared.

Before Ruby even knew what was happening, the sword began to glow a soft green and lost its shape, seeming to sink down into Penny's chest. It triggered a weak reaction of Aura, starting from the point of entry and spreading along Penny's body until it enveloped her completely. For a few moments, it stayed, nearly translucent, as if it were protecting or healing a body that was already lost.

Before it was completely gone, a noise that Ruby couldn't comprehend broke the silence. It rasped softly, starting up a gentle rhythm. It took a full minute of watching Penny's mutilated chest rise and fall before Ruby finally realized she was breathing.

"P-Penny?" she murmured, terrified that she would blink and realize it had all been in her head. "Penny?"

The rasping didn't stop. Penny was still breathing.

"Penny, can you hear me?" Forsaking caution in the name of desperation, Ruby began to rock Penny's shoulders. "Penny!"

Nothing changed. Penny continued to breathe her small, weak breaths, but she didn't wake. The shakes and yells seemed useless to rouse her.

"Please, wake up." Ruby lifted Penny's head and torso out of the water, bringing their faces close together. "Penny, please. Please show me you're still in there."

The more she begged, the more apparent it became that Penny wasn't going to wake up. Not now, at least. And to be entirely fair, she was in no condition to do so.

It struck Ruby for the first time that the poor girl was soaked, freezing, and in desperate need of medical attention. She may not have started bleeding again, but as far as Ruby could tell, that was only because the wounds had sealed themselves with old, dried blood.

She needed care if she stood any chance of gaining back enough strength to come out of whatever coma she was in now.

"Okay, okay," Ruby murmured, more to herself than to Penny. "It's gonna be okay."

Gingerly, she lifted Penny into her arms and stood, watching blood and water drip from her. She needed to act quickly.

She had to get Penny back to the campsite she'd set up with her team, see what they could do about those wounds, then warm her up and try to get some food and water into her.

That was the plan. That was all she had to think about right now. Not the fact that she was defenseless with an unconscious friend and too far from her team to call for help if she needed it. Not that fact that Penny was so weak right now she might just die again before Ruby could do anything about it.

With her body fully on autopilot, she made her way back to the shore as quickly as possible, and then she began to run.

This time was going to be different. This time, she was here, and she would do absolutely anything she had to do to help Penny cling to life. She would nurse her back to health her goddamn self, and then she would keep her that way, no matter what.

This was her last chance, and she would sooner fight the Gods themselves than let it slip away from her.

------ If you enjoyed this work, please consider reblogging to share it with others! It’s the only way posts can circulate on this site. If you’re feeling particularly generous, you can also support the writer by donating to my Ko-fi!

#penny polendina #ruby rose #nuts n dolts #nuts and dolts #nuts & dolts #rwby v9 spoilers #rwby volume 9 spoilers #i wrote this in like two hours #i might even do a second part tackling the obsession i've established with Ruby needing to protect Penny #and in this case it's justified but it could easily lead to a situation where Penny is healed and healthy and Ruby is still giving her #absolutely no breathing room and refusing to let her fight for herself because she's so scared of anything happening to her again

[merchantofwhispers]

A Quick Drink | (1940s)

"I didn't come here to be lectured by a man who wore insoles so he'd be tall enough to look me in the eye."

"It wouldn't be a lecture if you'd do your fucking job."

"I did my job. You just weren't happy with the consequences."

"A federal judge is breathing down my neck because of your sloppy work!"

"Strange how that out of every head involved you're the only one catching heat."

"Ya, it is strange, ain't it? Almost like you've got somethin' against me."

"Damien, I have as much against you as I have against this wine. Cheap and dry, served only for its looks, but it gets the job done if you're desperate enough."

Suddenly he lurched forward, fingers catching in the pearls that were strung around Gemina's neck. "Now you listen to me, you little whore. Yer' gonna' fix this fuckin' mess and make that judge look the other way. I don't know who blew smoke up yer' pretty lil' skirt, but this shit ends now." His cigarette breath made her flinch, nose wrinkling up as she tried to pull her head away from him, but his grip was unrelenting. "Ya understand what I'm layin' down for ya, Minny?"

He finally released the hold, allowing her to take a step back to gather herself. With drink still in hand, she used her other to smooth her necklace out and dust her face off, grimacing as his breath seemed to linger on her skin. "Now," Damien started speaking again while glancing around, "I want this shit cleared within the week. I don't care what ya' gotta do. Muscle his family, rob his fuckin' house, pay him off, but you get that old bastard to stop lookin' my way and you do it quick."

People had begun to stare, whispers barely audible above the live band playing from the other side of the room. Gemina took note of it while considering what he was saying and in one quick motion she tossed her drink into his eyes. Whatever little distance was left between them was closed as her hands gripped onto his arm and his head, shoving him down towards the buffet table where his head was submerged into a punch bowl. Gasps and sharp cries of shock filled the room, but silence quickly followed. Time itself seemed to freeze for everyone involved except for Damien, whose gurgling shouts were loud enough to be heard as he lashed and kicked trying to get free.

When Gemina let go it was only because he'd managed to tip over the bowl with his thrashing, spilling the bright red contents across the now-destroyed table. His body collapsed to the floor, chest heaving as he coughed out the party favor that had begun filling his lungs. She remained standing above him, catching the increasingly fearful gazes of party-goers and the way some men's hands had moved to their waist belts. The only true noise she could hear was someone's laughter, but it didn't take long for her to realize it was Nikolai in the corner of the room.

She smirked at him and shook her head, knowing full well this was something he was going to be bringing up for days. He always did find such sick joy in watching her lose her temper.

"Well," Gemina lifted her arms up from her side and turned to the largest majority of people who had gathered, "where were we?" She stepped over Damien, lightly kicking him in the chest as she did, to grab another glass that she quickly filled with more of that terrible, terrible wine. "To our gracious host, Mr. Bonanno, and another year of living like fucking royalty!"

#;Mina History #;History #;Niki History #/i dont proof read these so

[multicolour-ink]

Oh I can imagine that when mario and luigi find survivors they will freak out when they see that Luigi has been bitten and think he will turn into a zombie,and tried to kill him, only for mario to kill them instead to protect his brother

referring to this and this

While Luigi may act sort of the same, I imagine his appearance would change a bit. Maybe a more grayish skin tone and/or altered irises. So it's very easy for people to pick him out of a crowd. He can't just walk up to anyone like normal anymore (except for Mario).

So when they do find survivors, they are in no way able to accept that Luigi is harmless. One even pulls out a weapon. And that's when Mario snaps. Unable to stand by and let them kill his brother, he does what he can to protect him....

Oh! 👀 Now that opens up a lot of doors!

Let's assume for simplicities sake that the events play out similar to TLoU.

Mario and Luigi have managed to survive together, just the two of them - until one day on a scavenging hunt (or whatever job it is they are doing) they are ambushed by infected, and Luigi gets bit.

And at that moment Mario's world starts to crumble, because it's suddenly no why him this can't be happening I was supposed to protect him I can't lose him please

The next few days of waiting are torture; Mario even starts to consider the crazy idea of asking Luigi to bite him, just so they can turn together.

But Luigi doesn't turn, much to Mario's sheer delight; word of this soon spreads to a resistance group, who ask Luigi to come to them so they can figure out a cure from his condition. Mario is reluctant because - even though you did mention Mario is a nice guy who just wants to help others - this is still a zombie apocalypse. TLoU proves that desperation always sets in during the worst of times. So even though Mario tries to help as much as he can, he soon learns he has to turn many down, even if it goes against his very nature.

So the journey plays out pretty similar to TLoU - heck even the confrontation between Joel and Ellie in the house, as well as this line from Ellie could fit into the story

"Stop with the bulls***! What are you so afraid of?! You think I'm gonna end up like Sam? I can't get infected! I can take care of myself!"

This is pretty much almost word for word on what could happen between the Bros. Luigi knows that Mario has always been protective, but considering he's now immune, Mario, in his opinion, is just throwing himself in front of a sponge. There would definitely be conflict, and the Bros would have to work on that new trust in order to get to the resistance group.

Now at the very end...the moment Luigi needs to be sacrificed for a cure.

Much like Joel - Mario snaps. He can't, won't, have his brother come this far, only for once again there be another chance he can be taken away from him again. The world has already given up on itself, but the Bros have never given up on each other. They need each other as their own cures for this bleak world.

So Mario goes on a rampage, until he rescues Luigi, and manages to get them away before they are caught again.

Now...for the ending. I thought long and hard about how I believe this would play out, and from what I've decided - Mario still lies to Luigi, but Luigi immediately picks up on it. Neither brother confess to each other out loud (something they have had to do for the very first time in their lives) but they both know the truth. Luigi doesn't miss the look in Mario's eyes, the blood on his hands. But he's not angry, because he knows he would've done the same thing. They both know that they need each other, and they would never give each other up willingly.

On a side note: I legit thought that this was what they were hinting at during the end of TLoU with Ellie. The way she replied "Ok" to Joel's lie seemed to hint that she knew he wasn't being honest, but chose not to bring it up because she knew she would've done the same if it was him.

Only for that to get completely blown out of the water by having Part 2 say that Ellie wanted to sacrifice herself, even though there was no hint of this at all in the first game 😑

Perhaps later on down the line, Luigi tries to research how his condition could help people, without the need to sacrifice others. Mario tries to get him to give up on it ("It's all useless now") Luigi challenges his brother by asking if he would give up on him....

Cue a slightly awkward and guilty Mario....

#this is really interesting #because you essentially have two pairs of characters all about family - #but it's their different bonds and experiences that make the outcomes slightly different #also mario slaughtering a hospital of doctors like Joel #that is never an image you find yourself picturing! #super mario #mario #luigi #super mario au #mario au #mario and luigi #brothers #tlou #the last of us #tw zombies #tw horror #tw apocalypse #tw violence #tw blood #the super mario bros movie #super mario movie #mario movie #the super mario bros #mario bros

[the-sunshine-dims]

While season three is still not out I wanna air my predictions and just some things I’m hoping happen or get expanded on!

(If you were one of those people who watched the leaked episode, do not comment, i will block you, I wanna go in with as little spoilers as possible)

okay, first thing, I really want Gus to have another mental breakdown about everything, I want him to be absolutely ecstatic about human things, but certain things just remind him of his dad and the fact he is so very alone, like he has his friends, his best friends, but also, gus is twelve, he wants his dad.

Alright next, i know this’ll probably happen anyway because obviously all of them are with Camilla and vee now so vee has more screen time, but I want more about vee! I want her bonding with select members of the friend group, I want her tenuous relationship with luz, I want vee to learn or to have learned that it wasn't perfect for Luz, that she did actually have a reason for running away, I just want more about vee, I love her so much,

and maybe, as a little treat, maybe we could get the complicated relationship with vee and hunter? Because hunter was the golden guard and served the emperor but he’s also a grimwalker and is so alike to vee in so many ways

Also, I desperately need Eda angst, and so does the cast, and I think it would hurt especially bad as like a cut-away at the very end of the first episode, but I’m not picky, I just desperately need Eda angst, and I’m pretty sure it may happen because Eda has had to pull away from family for so long, and in that time she got a son, and then a human daughter, and she loved them, and luz helped heal her relationship with lillith, with Gwendolyn, and not directly like with Gwen, but with dell as well, and then suddenly she loses her family again, this time, her kids

I just really want angst,

though also, i want, and think it’s really cute idea, just the kids finding the human world fascinating, I want willow learning about new plants, I want gus going to a zoo, I want hunter making his bird territorial in his attempts to befriend pigeons, I just think that would be nice.

i think this is turning more into things Im desperately hoping for- so to even it out,

my predictions for Luz’s palisman before the first episode!

I’ve been thinking the same thing for a while, simply because there’s so much evidence for it, and there's so much symbolism, especially now that we know king is a titan, but I think it’ll be a bat,

I know the crew often does a really good job at subverting exceptions so it could be something else that would immediately make sense but no one had thought about like a platypus or something, but I still think it’s a bat and I like that idea :]

Also, other things that honestly more of side notes and also are more likely to be in a book after like gravity falls, or like, a spin-off series rather then season three:

The bat queens origins and connections to the titan, Luz had promised to help her remember her origins (if I remember correctly) and I just need more on it, and I wouldn’t be surprised if we got it.

More on Raine's trauma from just everything but Terra specifically, I’ve said it before but it would be really nice to see.

so just some things that i’m hoping for before season three releases!

#fin speaks #toh