THE FERNWEH SAGA by @lacunafiction:
RETURNING VISITOR - ZARINA HAWKE.
Full Name: Zarina “Rina” Hawke
Grandpa's Name: Alexander “Xander” Hawke
D.O.B.: July 27, Leo
Personality: cautious // aloof // cruel // flirtatious
Traits: head // resistance // believer
Past affinity: music [guitar]
Primary ability: extrasensory awareness
Past susceptibility: healthy (only became this after learning the truth about her grandpa)
Previously known (and future mentioned) occupation: Radio show host.
TSF became an incredibly comforting IF for me, which brought me to take my OG OC and put her inside Fernweh because who doesn't love complicated women going through complicated events, lose control over your own dreams, and crumble under the weight of past abandonment, try to push your own confidence forward to not fall, family loss, and learning the truths that may undo the walls you've built to protect yourself? Hawke's development is supposed to go from bitterness to relative sweetness, but ... only to the gang and a couple of others. We'll see how life goes on! Thank you Aelsa Trevelyan for creating such a fantastic world and as a member of the Patreon, I love all the new bits we get to learn. Extremely excited for Book 2.
Let's talk about general views and interactions with characters are of Book 1. Book 2 will certainly improve some of the interactions but also will worsen others (mwehehe). I love going into deep dives and TSF gave me so much food! Anyways, hyperfixation is true and real and I decided to just write novels at this point.
General personality description:
In short terms, Zarina Hawke as a child was an insufferable brat to everyone but her genuine friends and her rival. Smart, cocky, confident, and sometimes even callous (also extremely petty). The issues came with her unapologetic and straightforward wording of her opinions on other kids, which was hard to go against when she would fire back rather smart insults and show her tongue to those who tried to bully her. Perhaps, that’s why the majority of girls simply avoided Hawke aside from Sofia who got along rather well. Those who got to really know Zarina would always underline how attentive and observant she was about those she cared about or respected. She would notice small things, encourage her friends, and be genuinely nice with a sprinkle of occasional snark and sarcasm solely because the latter came with being a teenager who wanted to show off how cool she was to her friends.
Sadly, the fire and her grandfather’s separation (abandonment to her) changed a lot of things about her. The usual warmth would no longer grace her amber eyes until later by meeting Beckett Warrick and gaining more friends, but her core was shattered by the loss of everything and forceful extraction from Fernweh. There was no longer cocky brattiness, only somber shattered pieces and a thought that her grandfather didn’t stay with her because she wasn’t good enough. She turned more aloof, more distant, and much colder. She had to build herself from shattered pieces, growing up forcefully and becoming too independent for her own good. The mantra of ‘I’m fine’ became her sole move forward, not looking at her bitter grief and sadness over losing everything and everyone.
She was a lone wolf, a person who seemed untouchable, unbothered, and was alluring because of those traits: who can stay away from someone so mysterious? She never shared her story, never shared herself with others, and kept to herself until meeting Beckett Warrick, who helped her open up, learn how to trust again, and return bits and pieces of the young Zarina that was once caring, warm, and mischievous. Though her open, shameless cockiness has been substantially lowered, her maturity and protective side became the front liners of her current. Softer looks, understanding hums, mischievous jokes and flirtatious words. But seems that the ‘untouchable and unbothered’ Zarina Hawke is going to start showing cracks upon her return to Fernweh, spilling bitterness like lava. After all, will she truly shed tears or spill that molten gold?
NOW OFF TO CHARACTER INTERACTIONS/VIEWS! because I need this for possibly fic set ups...
FERNWEH: Initially, Fernweh was her kingdom to explore. She loved the city and enjoyed it extensively, especially when each place would be connected to certain points in her life from funny to sad to lovable. However, after leaving Fernweh, she lost all lose for the city itself, circling in her circle of inescapable bitterness and hurt until she matured enough to simply stop caring about it altogether. Sadly, her return to Fernweh brought back the bitterness she was choking on as a child, especially the more she learned about Fernweh itself and its secrets, causing her to want to leave the town (not the gang!) behind until she’s ready to return. But as we are aware of Book 1’s ending, it did not happen, which only added fuel to the flame of her spilling anger, especially at the cost of trapping Beckett with her. As of the end of Book 1, Zarina is highly bitter towards Fernweh community and the town itself, but that doesn’t include those who do not deserve her bitterness/frigidness which are obviously the Fernweh Gang, Mrs. Dorran, Mal, Alek Corvin, and depending on the future maybe some more. Will she come to like this town again or will it forever remain a place that fills her with frustrating bitterness? Perhaps, she can learn to like it again… but only if it’s through the people she cares for.
Basically, it's a Gordon Ramsay meme with her, Zarina @ Fernweh Gang and all the people mentioned on her good side are: Oh dear, oh gorgeous... While the rest of Fernweh like the board and the people who mistreat Beckett are treated as 'You fucking donkey' from her side.
GRANDPA ALEXANDER: As a child, Zarina wanted to impress her grandfather the most. She was attached to him and wanted to impress him with her grades, her skills, and everything. From showing him her music to playing it to showing him her test results to telling how she beat up Verner in a bet. Silly little things to make her grandpa laugh and pat her head. Alexander’s distancing proved to be detrimental to the young girl’s growing up, making her wonder if she wasn’t good enough and causing her to work harder so her grandfather can be proud of her again. The fire and the entrapment inside Alexander’s place further started to break down the confidence a young girl had in herself, begging for her grandfather to let her help and be there for him so he won’t leave her alone. But he did. He left her alone. He did not say goodbye, he did not drive her out of the town, he did not stay with her. Alexander’s abandonment caused irreparable damage to Zarina, which continues to sting and cause her to have extreme moments of protectiveness towards the Fernweh Gang and those she cares for, including having intense fear of being left alone now that she started to open up once again. The ever-confident Hawke Jr. does hide a little scared girl on the inside, a girl who’s been shattered and had to grow up too fast, and who will never get the closure she wanted. Thankfully, upon learning the truth of Alexander’s behavior, Zarina would break down in tears for the first time since the fire happened crying for her grandfather to come back while knowing he never will.
WAFFLES: Waffles became her responsibility the moment she heard about the dog. At first, she wasn’t exactly sure on how to approach the dog and if she wanted to keep her around, but after the initial journey into the forest? Zarina decided that as her responsibility, she will take care of Waffles… warming up extensively to her after spending more time with her. She also enjoys her new name and thinks Beckett’s choice was truly heartwarming and her gaze softens adoringly whenever she calls the dog’s name and spends time with her. Waffles provides a sense of stability and security to her, which she continues to crave years after the fire.
BECKETT WARRICK (RO): As mentioned before, Beckett became the stability Zarina searched for after the fire. It is why the nightmare version of Beckett stating that she was ‘broken’ does get to her. She is incredibly protective over him because of how much she cares about his well-being, considering him the Sun and the stars. She is genuinely attentive to his nervousness and his body language, memorizing it to ensure that she can notice right away when he’s uncomfortable and when she should step in. Warrick’s presence soothed her tension upon arriving at Fernweh and is one of the biggest reasons she never publicly broke down while learning everything, only coming very close to having a panic attack after the coroner’s office. The more they learned about her grandfather and the town’s secrets, the higher her overprotectiveness over Beckett would start to rise, making her want to actually ask him to leave her behind so he can get out and be safe because her fear over losing him was making her act irrationally alongside starting to feel like it’s her fault he got into this mess. However, Bee’s reminders and loyalty would be the glue to keep her mind together helping her breathe. Naturally, I need to bring up the lingering feelings. Hawke has been attracted to her best friend for a while, but refuses to take the step until after Fernweh, thinking she could just confess after dealing with everything about her grandfather. It didn’t go according to plan. Her flirtatious nature would come out more often around him, a wish to be physically close all too natural, but she did start to notice the lingering looks and how his hugs would sometimes stay for a bit longer than usual. And at the end? She did not forget Beckett stating she’s a great friend and that he loved. It's why in the car on their drive out, she would try to kiss him to express her feelings after almost dying. And yet… The ending of Book 1 does not make her worry for her own sake; instead, her mind was only filled with the fact that Beckett cannot leave. Because she brought him here. (What a fun time it gonna be, being a B-mancer and watching the angst unfold because if Bee is not fine, Zarina is not fine either and everyone will know it)
JAMES CORVIN: This would be the hardest and most heart-wrenching thing to write, but the friendship between James and Zarina was one of the bonds that brought Zarina a lot of pain after she left. Reminders that she lost her childhood best friend would follow her for years, making her think that since he never wrote her letter or even reached out, he too has abandoned her. It made her feel bittersweet when meeting James again in the station, but the awkwardness during the stay would persist continuously throughout the stay up until the very end where the two share their genuine misunderstandings. Upon learning that James actually did write to her but his letters were never delivered caused Hawke to feel shameful over doubting him, apologizing for never speaking of it in the beginning. However, after clearing that large misunderstanding, they promised to write to each other and stay in touch, hoping to perhaps build more positive memories. Perhaps, in Book 2, they can become closer once again now that the awkward and tense misunderstanding has been cleared out.
REESE VERNER: Who would know you better than you’d ever expect? Your rival. Zarina makes it clear that she’s never had a rival aside from someone named ‘R. V.’ Naturally, Reese Verner will forever be the only person who she ever respected to call a rival and not a friend as a child. He was stubborn, he was a Verner, he was smart, and he was competitive enough to butt heads with her bratty ass. After returning to Fernweh, Zarina surprisingly adopts a warmer approach to their interactions, joking in a lighter manner while still reminding him of their rivalries. Reese is one of the people who she always remembered fondly and whose memories did not hurt her to remember. Not only that, but Verner and Hawke find themselves to be rather similar as adults now, having lost someone they cared about but also having that shameless confidence with sharp tongues. Verner is someone who surprisingly can see past the confidence and laid-back smiles similarly to Beckett, calling out Hawke more often than any other person. At the end of Book 1, the childhood rivals genuinely rekindled their bond and found surprising solace in understanding each other, showing to each other that they understand each other far better than expected. There is a newfound peace alongside those mischievous smirks exchanged and jokes/pranks shared. Also, Reese was one of the people who vocally voiced out support in how she dealt with the sentinel tree, giving it a slow death, stating that she can grief or avenge as she wishes. She heard it and appreciated it more than he'd ever understand.
SOFIA DORRAN: As children, Sofia Dorran was the only girl who would ever be able to handle Zarina’s personality because they could both throw sarcastic and intelligent words at each other, which would then turn into more of a genuine friendship that touches on books and interesting facts about Fernweh and the world outside. Not that they thought about leaving, but mythology and studies were quite fun and intriguing for them both to speak about. After returning to Fernweh, Zarina doesn’t hesitate to show that she is happy to see Sofia in good health alongside her mother, which is always mentioned by Hawke because both Sofia and Mrs. Dorran have always been accepting of her. Sofia’s sarcasm with a similarly aloof vibe personality goes well with Zarina as they can sit in silence and have a good time while reading. However, Zarina didn’t allow Sofia to call her by the nickname ‘Rina’ solely because it was Beckett who started calling her that. Instead, Hawke proposed to use another nickname that could be just a thing between the two of them in the future.
ALEK CORVIN: Alek and Zarina played a lot together, being quite mischievous with James as kids. Hawke always welcomed the young boy to play with her and James, patting his head when they would be going outside of the farm and couldn’t take the little boy with her. After reuniting in Fernweh, good memories from Alek make it clear that he is happy to see her, but Zarina feels doubtful, knowing how much she believes she’s changed since they were younger and how awkward it is with James during their initial meet up. However, her stay in Fernweh will improve their relationship since Alek’s genuine wish to rekindle a friendship reflects in Hawke’s mind, especially knowing he’s been looking at Turn The Page.
MRS. (DELILAH) DORRAN: Despite not expecting to see her, Zarina initially felt awkward about seeing Mrs. Dorran because what the older woman sees is the girl who lived there. Delilah has always been patient and kind with Hawke, chuckling softly upon seeing that Zarina had 0 talent for painting but tried to still view it in a positive (delusional) way. After returning to Fernweh, she warms up to the sight of Mrs. Dorran’s unchanging kindness, but does share Sofia’s worry for the woman’s well-being and health while doing so many things.
MAL: Her interactions with Mal have been on the positive side, appreciating his drinks and his service. She does note that his enigmatic smile probably hides a lot more, solely comparing that service smiley of her own smile she used to have with others. As of the end of Book 1, she probably would miss his tea the most aside from the people she came to revisit.
MRS. VERNER: Upon her arrival, Hawke would not really speak with Mrs. Verner that much, instead meeting her with an apathetic stare of her own... and meeting a fitting challenger in the 'silent game' that Beckett said Zarina always wins. Not with Mrs. Verner, it seems like it. However, the trajectory of her view on Mrs. Verner changes drastically upon learning of her grandfather's cremation from the coroner's office visit. She started to blame the Board of Fernweh for their disgusting choice of cremation a man who lost everything to the fire. It was cruel, it felt like a slap to the face and a kick to the stomach. As someone who is aware of how high the Verners are in Fernweh society, Zarina puts the face of Mrs. Verner as the main 'human' reason for her bitterness. She hates the Board now, despising it, but she's only met Mrs. Verner, so... someone has to be blamed, right? She had to blame someone for the Board's actions. Until she can find more information. Justified or not in the long run? It doesn't matter. What matters is that Mrs. Verner was mistreating Reese from Hawke's view and that was enough to not care how justifiable her bitter anger was. Of course, she will never blame the child for their parents' sins. Thus, she remains protective of Reese especially because of how she saw him crumble just a bit before his mother during their visit.
???: The entity present in her nightmares continues to get her on her nerves. As much as she should be afraid, the rage that’s been bottling in her chest only makes her want to resist as much as she can, even if it hurts. This entity can only break her if it takes her people, which she is afraid it knows, but she won’t give up. As she says: I will not be malleable, you will choke on me, I’m not changing.
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Some narrative reasons for the regeneration into Tenteen (my new favorite name for him).
Thasmin reason:
Feeling so much love for Yaz, and relieved that Yaz didn’t have a gruesome end like some of the last few companions, and happy that Yaz will be able to continue with a normal life, but ultimately feeling so sad to let her go— all of this dredged up old feelings about the time Ten had with Rose, and how that ended similarly and — Oops! Old teeth!
Much more complicated Thoschei reason:
3 out of the last 4 times the Doctor has regenerated, the Master has been involved in some way.
End of Time: After a couple of years of some rocky back-and-forth, and the year that never was, and the Masterface!takeover and all that, The Tenth Doctor and the Simm!Master had the “get out of the way” moment of reconciliation against Rassilon. Then Ten died as a result of something else — not by the Master’s hand.
Eleven never knowingly met the Master which is a right shame really
The Doctor Falls: Twelve spent decades teaching Missy how to be good, which ended with Simm!Master and Missy teaming up, but then a semi-similar moment of reconciliation between Missy and Twelve right? Like she still betrayed him but she felt bad about it or something? I don’t remember super well. Anyway, shortly before Twelve died in the next episode, he was able to have a moment of hope for his old friend.
But Dhawan!Master didn’t give Thirteen any of that hope. He was just being angry and hateful. And this time, he DID directly cause the Doctor’s death. Now all those years with Missy seem to amount for nothing. The Doctor is once again grieving the loss of that friendship. How disappointing that they couldn’t team up to defeat a greater evil like they have before and — Oops! Old teeth!
Or maybe it’s just— “You know what? I don’t want to go, but that’s okay. I’ve matured since the last time I said that, and I’m handling this much better than I did back then aren’t I — Oops! Old teeth!”
Anyway I think the Doctor’s mind wandered to Ten at the last second, and now we have Old Teeth.
Thoughts?
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