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alexandermanes · 8 months

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hi. hello, if you haven’t seen good omens’ last season (and you want to) you can sit this one out (or come back to it later i don’t know)

are they gone? good. so

*lights up a metaphorical cigarette* how are we feeling about that finale, huh?

well, i certainly do have thoughts about it.

let’s start with the elephant in the room shall we? was it in character for them to act like they did in the last 10 minutes? yes

let’s start with crowley. upon hearing the earth-shattering news that he and aziraphale might have not been communicating properly in the last six thousand years, what does he do? he thinks about it and flips out a little, cue to the rash little confession that was rudely (not really!) interrupted. and evidently, it’s par for the course that it was interrupted by the worst possible news he could have ever received. (well…)

because really, who could have thought that aziraphale would refuse to run away with him again? who would've thought aziraphale would choose heaven again? actually, at any other opportunity aziraphale might've not (i’m pretty sure) refused his proposal. but crowley's timing couldn’t have been worse. anyways, it hits the nail on the head of their issues.

because faced with an opportunity he couldn’t miss, of course, aziraphale chose what he believed was the right thing, though, as usual, his overall well-being came in second. and to even ask crowley to go to heaven with him, to restore heaven and be restored as angel is such naivety. such naivety of aziraphale to think crowley would accept that, regardless of his feelings towards aziraphale himself. which is pretty much in character. crowley doesn’t believe it to be possible: to restore heaven, to make it better. and what’s more is that he feels as though he was wronged (he was) and isn't willing to forgive and forget (he shouldn’t be, not in this case). where aziraphale is all about being good and doing good, crowley is all about self preservation.

where aziraphale is all about seing the best in everyone, crowley would doubt his own shadow if possible. so, that means that he can't ask crowley to put (blind or otherwise) faith in the place that cast him down for asking questions (!!!). but if aziraphale was even to have considered crowley could put his personal feelings towards heaven aside in the name of doing the right thing, crowley wouldn't. he didn't.

because crowley doesn't owe heaven a thing. more than that, he doesn't trust the angels in charge. he doesn't need them, neither does aziraphale. he'd said it as much.

but to aziraphale this is isn't about needing heaven necessarily, it's about what heaven should stand for. the metatron puts all sorts of ideas in his head about making a difference and, fundamentally, i refuse to believe that this is him striving for power, since never in six thousand years has he shown any interest in leading or climbing up the celestial business ladder.

so improving heaven it is. besides kindess and positivity, aziraphale cares about his comfort. he really does care about humans and the earth (he wouldn't have bothered with stopping the armageddon otherwise) but, he also likes the comfort and simple pleasures that the planet provides. he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy that would overthrow gabriel, or the metatron, for that matter, just so that he can rule over heaven and earth (and possibly hell). he wants to help, even if does inconvenience him a bit. which comes back to the issue: crowley doesn't see things the same way he does. crowley cares about the earth and the humans that inhabit it, that much is obvious, but he does care a lot more about himself. more accurately, he cares about keeping himself alive and preferably out of harm's way. the whole issue with gabriel shows us that much. it's also fair to point out that maybe he was more than a little insistent about keeping gabriel away from them since it was gabriel that showed up on aziraphale's doorway naked and devoid of any memories, and not any other angel who hadn't told aziraphale!crowley to shut-up-and-die-already.

he is also self-aware enough that he knows his feelings towards aziraphale aren't purely platonic. so, faced with the possibility that he had wasted time in not telling aziraphale how he really feels, he also wants to be away from anything that might, at best, be nuisance and, at worst, put them in danger. “we're a team, a group. a group of the two of us, and we've spent our existence pretending we aren't"

to me it also indicates that, not only is he conscious about his feelings towards aziraphale, he believes aziraphale might reciprocate them (which he does, though, based on solid evidence, i.e his living experience, crowley isn't 100% confident about it). and, even though, he is heaving and terrified of being vulnerable (and rejected!), crowley, in a very i-better-say-my-piece-now-or-i'll-forever-be-silent way makes his little speech. bravely so.

"just be an us. you and me. what do you say?"

this is mostly stream of conscioussness, so i forgot to mention that despite being all about self-preservation, crowley makes a very generous exception for aziraphale. he will do the impossible as long as he can keep aziraphale safe. it goes without saying that he won't do or let anything jeopardize the precious, peaceful, fragile existence he had carved out for himself, unless he has to.

"come with me. to heaven, i'll run it, you'll be my second in command", says aziraphale it makes me insane that this rift that is spreading now in their relationship isn't due to any emotional confusion (not in any way that matters); this is about them operating in a different framework and not being able to translate it to the other one. crowley wants to be safe and run away with aziraphale, aziraphale wants to do good and have crowley by his side. neither of them is willing to give that up. and even if i think crowley is in the right, that heaven can't be fixed and it's not up to aziraphale to fix it, if they talked, if they communicated this wouldn't be such a huge issue.

"you can't leave this bookshop", you can't leave me

"oh, crowley. nothing lasts forever", it's time for a change, will you come with me?

"no. no, i suppose it doesn't", so much for being honest about my feelings and what i want

(crowley putting his sunglasses back on, hiding his eyes that are beacon of emotion was such a powerful move btw) where aziraphale had hope, crowley's withered and died.

"crowley, come back! come to heaven, work with me. we can be together."

now, this part kills me because aziraphale says it with such hope, it's hard for me to even think of it as being a temptation (even if it sounds like one). it's clear that aziraphale isn't rejecting crowley as a romantic prospect, but he is rejecting his proposal. and, as stated before, crowley isn't interested in his either.

"angels. doing good."

the first time i watched this scene it felt like a punch to the gut. it felt like that probably because i'd heard it the same way crowley did: i want you, but only if you're something other than what you are. because you see, even if crowley was restored as an angel, he would still be fundamentally crowley, but he wouldn't be a demon. nevertheless, being a demon is also a fundamental part of who he is. i-don't-know-how-many-thousands-of-years since the fall and six thousand years living as a demon, of course it's part of who he is. plus, crowley sees himself as irredeemable, and theoretically, in the eyes of god and the angels, he is. there's no saving him, and even if there was, he wouldn't be interested in it.

but in saying that, aziraphale hadn't meant he would only want crowley if he wasn't a demon. he meant that being an angel would make crowley happy. if we are to believe that they had met when both were still angels, having witnessed crowley's delight in helping create the universe, he thought being an angel made him happy. he already knows with bone-deep certainty that crowley is good, he has witnessed it for thousands of years. therefore, 1 + 1 = 2: crowley being an angel in heaven with aziraphale would make him happy again. heaven could be a good place again with the both of them restoring it side by side.

"i need you!"

there's so much to unpack there, i don't think i have the ability to make it justice.

crowley's hesitance also is so interesting. for all intents and purposes he has already rejected aziraphale's proposal, so why does he linger? if you ask me, it's almost like he is either waiting for aziraphale to convince him into acquiescence, or he hopes aziraphale will change his mind. how, you ask me? i don't know.

"i don't think you understand what i'm offering you", i'm offering you my love, a chance at doing the right thing, i'm offering you happiness again

"i understand. and i understand a whole lot better than you do." you can't fix something that can't be fixed.

"then, there's nothing more to say"

and the irony is: there were so many things left unsaid that needed to be said. and yet...

"you idiot, we could've been us."

and that's the thing, isn't it? crowley doesn't need themto be in any way other than what they are. well, with the added tones of romance and wine-and-dining, of course. but, he just wants them to be, together. outside of the restraints of heaven and hell.

god, and the kiss. the awful, dreaded kiss that i saw from a mile away. it was so revolting and visceral in its suplication. it was beautiful, it was horrible. i think it's a work of art, i hate it so much. crowley grappling aziraphale by his lapels, aziraphale not knowing whether to bring him closer or push him away, the sheer duration of the kiss, the devastation in their eyes afterwards... jesus christ.

the kiss was done out of sheer desperation on crowley's part, and i don't really know what was going through his head tbh. i don't know if he thought the kiss was supposed to mend the rift they essentially created between themselves or if it was his well-if-it's-my-last-chance-to-do-it moment. i'm leaning towards the first option though; crowley thought the kiss might've convinced aziraphale to change his mind, but instead...

"i forgive you", a final temptation you have applied on me.

"don't bother", i gues we don't want the same things after all.

i don't think holy water or hellfire could've burned them this much.

and then: aziraphale hesitates and for a singular moment there i was convinced he was going after crowley and apologize, confess. but then, of course, he didn't.

it's funny, i didn't think a man could have made so many facial expressions in the span of ten seconds (devastation, hurt, anger, sorrow, sobriety) and yet, michael sheen is a master at his craft. well, after all was said and done (literally), crowley still waited, aziraphale still hesitated. our very own orpheus and eurydice.

what a tragedy. in conclusion, i'm unwell.

#good omens #good omens spoilers #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #shut up izzy

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