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#shut up el
fuckthebassist · a day ago
i told my coworker, who is 27, about “gatekeep, gaslight, girlboss” and she — very studiously — wrote it down and went “i should look that up”
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fuckthebassist · a day ago
this recent episode of nightvale is making me so emo. ive been listening to this podcast since i was 13! what the fuck! also, hella cameos and im loving it
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liinos · a day ago
It's so funny how my parents bitch at me for not going outside in the winter even though I consistently have talked about how winter makes me feel like shit and how being in the cold makes me feel worse and how I cannot stand the light in the winter and how the sun setting before 5pm makes me want to either not do anything or *** and how my mom straight up forced me to take a walk during january because it would "make me feel better" and how it literally made me feel so much worse to the point that I almost cried and how I will willingly go on walks almost every day in the summer and am generally just so much more okay but <3 I just need to suck it up because everyone else goes out during the winter and has fun and I'm just annoying
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fuckthebassist · 2 days ago
I really just sit here on my silly little computer typing silly little words for 40 hours a week. Isn’t that something
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elliteracy · 3 days ago
a shower poem
I started formulating a poem in the shower
 curled in fetal position on the floor
staring at a singular drop of condensation
while mouthing the words to a sad song.
 Every word contorted my face
into a million strained expressions
lips and eyes bursting at the seams
 until I blinked just wrong
stopped dead in the middle of the line
and said to myself,
 “That face wasn’t believable
You can do it better than that”
and started the verse over.
 Isn’t that the most psychotic thing
you’ve ever heard? and I said it –
and now I’m turning it into a poem.
   The words changed after that.
I don’t recall most of what
I told myself to remember except
“I should be better than this.”
 I was a good person when I was eight.
I cared about others more than myself
projecting my feet into their shoes
and trying on their glasses for size.
 I’m not sure whether I really felt nicer then
or whether I shoved everything so far down
I could barely feel it steaming
until I expelled it like shrapnel.
 These days I lose every game of mafia
because my ears burn red at each lie,
a walking polygraph for the public’s perusal.
Compulsive honesty isn’t as fun as its alternative.
  My therapist keeps talking about “boundaries”
but that always seemed like a cheap excuse
to avoid the kindness we owe each other
and to not give anything of yourself.
 If being fourteen taught me anything,
it’s that only mean people want walls.
I am now trying to fill myself up with a strainer
but it still feels like a cheap excuse.
   I think I am a bad person now.
To be a bad person as a Christian
is actually quite good –
it’s an important paradox.
 To feel like a bad person is to
love God even more for loving you
but I think I’m being bad the wrong way
 because being a worse person
doesn’t make me love God more.
It just makes me feel worse
about being a bad person.
 I don’t care if I’m loved;
I just want to be good.
Good people don’t push away
the people who love them,
 so if I am good I won’t feel guilty
that I only have the strength
to bruise them and not to move them
 and I won’t feel guilty
that they love me
too much to leave.
 Sometimes they remark,
“It’s nice to hear you singing again,”
and I clam back up for seventeen days.
 All this to say:
 I finished my shower
and left the bathroom
 grabbed this notebook
quietly crept past my sleeping sister
 and opened the door to
my housemate sitting at
an otherwise empty kitchen table.
 I am back in the bathroom
writing down the poem
I formulated in the shower.
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thatwritingnerd · 4 days ago
okay but headcanon that Sebastian looks edgy and cool but really he’s scared of horror films and likes rom coms, soft for his friends (and his mom), adores affection (and is touch starved), and he’s just a general softie with a rough exterior
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imdumbandaproblem · 5 days ago
What the fuckkkkk it was even better than I hoped
Like the cinematography was fantastic and unique, they really embraced the whimsical-ness you have to have for a musical, the plot changes tripped me up but they were still great, and the additional subplot with Sonny was so good! I’m never going to shut up about this movie!!!!
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fuckthebassist · 5 days ago
trying out Tumblr humor/gen z memes on my coworkers who are a decade older than me is like setting off a grenade
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fenrhi · 5 days ago
The worst thing about V/n/c anime is that it’s gonna attract Some Insufferable Americans who are gonna make unfunny jokes about the French language nonstop and I’m gonna die from cringe
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thatwritingnerd · 6 days ago
I love how everyone dateable in Stardew is canonically queer
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ad1thi · 7 days ago
Kara: You're late
Clark: There was really bad traffic
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elliteracy · 8 days ago
If you can, please pray for me tomorrow. I go back to the psychiatrist to get results on my evaluation. I just really want to get this figured out so I can move forward, possibly start medication if I need it. I need tomorrow to be a stepping stone to a new chapter. Thank you ❤️❤️
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imdumbandaproblem · 8 days ago
Love the game, but I can't help feeling there's this one tiny change that would make it way better
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fuckthebassist · 8 days ago
wow not being in college anymore and being able to have my own desires and interests that aren’t commodified and held over my head to determine my worth as a person has really helped me be less bitter
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elliteracy · 10 days ago
The downside of having a panic attack at church is that you have to leave your Sunday school class to throw up in the bathroom. The upside of having a panic attack at church is that both your senior and college pastor share their experiences with panic attacks with you, one of your mom’s friends offers you the CBD oil she uses for her own panic attacks (which is relieving), and your church family sends you home to recover with prayers instead of chiding you for not sticking it out for the service. I am feeling deep gratitude to God for that and to each of them.
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