#shroomikytten

[shroomikytten]

Today’s a bit better… I woke up and felt like I was in a good mood. Of course, the anxiety kicks in but I am sort of handling it well. I told myself I’d write again today, even if it was just a little reflection of my morning. I had my Prozac, my coffee, my meds, some weed and breathing exercises lol. I’ll come back to write more… I’m going to make some calls and stuff. ✌🏻☮️✌🏻🕊️🕊️🕊️

#personal #shroomikytten

[shroomikytten]

just mee being decent-ishhh

#shroomikytten #feeling better #hii #420life

[shroomikytten]

What the fuck even is my life? Do I care enough or do I want to just give up?

Everyday is a struggle.. intrusive thoughts, the sudden realization that life is how it is and things ended up how they did and I just get this knot in my stomach. It’s been a while since I’ve written, and honestly I’ve forgot to how to write the way I so graciously did before I was hot with the trauma that is growing up. I’ll continue to try to learn again, does that mean I care enough to want to get by? Some days I really want to give up.

#shroomikytten #personal

[shroomikytten]

It's been years, and I hate that even now after what we've been through, I feel like I don't truly know where I stand with you. You fathered my child, you have held me when i was absolutely broken... when I was shattered. You lead me through this thick fog of grief when dad left this world.

4 years later and you still have me in the palm of your hand. You know I'm madly in love with you and you can so effortlessly make me melt just by looking at me. I am vulnerable with you and you have bruised my aching soul. I trust you, still. I don't know what life is without you and Judith.

Please, don't hurt me anymore, I need you to keep me safe. I want to feel sheltered from all the evil this world brings.

I love you.

#shroomikytten #personal #judith #weez #sad #coming down

[shroomikytten]

what do you do when you have nowhere to go anymore? when no family that loves you is left to take you in? i miss my dad so much, because when i lost him, i became parentless. my mother had never been a real mom to me and i’m tired of facing her abuse. I just want to start fresh with my love and our daughter..

#thoughts #alone #shroomikytten

[shroomikytten]

It's still strange not being on drugs.. I'm practically re learning how to talk to people all over again. Learning how to keep myself occupied with hobbies or stuff that normal people do.. it's a bit lonely.

I may never feel normal again, but I think I can learn to live with it eventually.

#shroomikytten #soberthoughts #personal

[shroomikytten]

I never know what to write about. Today is just like every other normal day. Get chewed out by everyone. Sit and feel uncomfortable when my boundaries are crossed. Struggle to maintain.

I'm not sure if I should worry, but I feel like I need to take a pregnancy test. My life is crumbling and I'm so tired. I wish I could put my mind on autopilot.

#shroomikytten #personal

[shroomikytten]

Pills and coffee to keep the demons at bay. It'll have to do for now. I don't know how much more fight I have left in me. I need someone to swoop in and show me that I am not worthless. I liked a guy, I wish he liked me too. He could have been a good friend. I have no best friends to save me or talk me out of this. Someone.. anyone. Help me

#alone #personal #help me. #david #i miss being ok #judith #shroomikytten

[shroomikytten]

Was told once; my eyes were black holes.

#me #shroomikytten

[shroomikytten]

fuck

Today didn’t go so bad, but it wasn’t great either. My mom’s best friend of 17 years was diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and I haven’t seen my mom cry that bad since we lost my tia Cindy and my grandpa Landin.. I miss my dad so damn much. I keep thinking about what he would be doing if he were here right now. Judith broke my Nintendo switch remotes and fuuuuck do I want another one in pastel pink or at least the pink lite edition. or the animal crossing edition.... i could dream, can’t I? I don’t even know what I’m getting at this. I hope one day I somehow find one that’s cute and playable

#personal #shroomikytten

[shroomikytten]

A New Start...

Lets just say that i’m back in the game, and i’m writing again. i’m stoked for what’s soon to come. :)

#personal #writing #shroomikytten

[shroomikytten]

It’s been a beautiful and wonderful week that was full of lovely surprises.

#MommaToBe #Mylove #new family #shroomikytten

[shroomikytten]

Happy 3rd birthday, my love. We love you so much.

#judith #my love #shroomikytten #personal