#should probably delete instead of posting but tonight i do not feel like making good decisions | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

that-good-trash · 4 years

Text

Trust Me?

Bakugou x reader / Shinsou x reader

Warning: Hurt/comfort, Angst, Mentions of cheating, Happy Ending?

Word Count: 6.5k

Summary: You love your boyfriend more than anything but it seems he might not feel the same way anymore. When the same friend that planted the seed of doubt ends up your shoulder to cry on where do you go from there.

Authors note: I’ve been dealing with a lot of stuff and this was kind of my self indulgence fic. Please Enjoy!

P.S: I was thinking about jumping on the kinktober bandwagon but I’m worried I can’t do kink justice. Maybe look out for some quick one shots if I do. I am also having to rewrite the fourth chapter of Burn Away With Me because the original file somehow ended up freaking deleted (note to self and others always back up files or make a copy).

----------------------------------

Saturdays were meant for relaxation, for hanging out with friends without a worry. The weekend was meant to provide a chance to shed your hero uniform and trade it for a cute comfy outfit. Well that’s how weekends should be, that’s what you wish you were able to do. Instead you sat on your couch scrolling through your phone watching your friends have fun without you. Pictures of dancing and drinking continuously pass as your fingers move absentmindedly. A picture of Mina taking shots followed by photos of Kaminari on a tabletop. This always happened, you had been missing out for weeks now. However, this problem went deeper than missing a few weekend hangouts. Your boyfriend, whom you had been with for almost three years, had been canceling plans with you for the last few months. Every time you both had a day off, he always got called in or he had made previous plans. It was starting to get old. Had he always been so flaky? Had you just not noticed before or was this new. Either way you were now fully aware of his behavior and how little attention you received from him. Your screen lit up with messages from friends telling you to ‘get your ass to the club’ immediately. Oh, how you wanted too. You wished you were wearing a skimpy outfit grinding against your besties laughing and enjoying yourself. Instead of getting into your club attire you put your phone onto the coffee table. Your back hits the cushions behind you as you fall backward. A sigh slips out and you’re ready to reevaluate your life. What kind of relationship was this? You felt like you were alone, and it was starting to seep into your conscious letting that little voice grow louder and louder with doubt and self-deprivation. It took every ounce of your being to reject the thoughts, to lull yourself back into a false sense of security. Your phone ringing disrupted your thoughts good or bad.

“Hey, I was just thinking about you! I miss-” You didn’t get to finish your sentence before the deep grouchy voice of Katsuki Bakugou interrupted you.

“I won’t be home tonight. Don’t wait up for me, just eat dinner and go to bed.” He sounded like he had been sounding. He sounded tired with a swirl of irritation and it took a lot to convince yourself that it wasn’t toward you. You had to bite your bottom lip to prevent yourself from screaming at him for doing this again. You loved him, did so much for him, that it hurt for him to just blow you off. What was even worse was he didn’t even tell you why he wasn’t coming home. He just expected you to turn in early without even an explanation. You wanted to cuddle or go out with friends and he wanted you to spend the night alone.

“Suki… Why aren’t you coming home? You said last week that you were going to try to come home early.” A growl of frustration could be heard on the other side causing you to tense up. You knew you were upsetting him but that wasn’t fair. He had no right to be upset with you since you were only asking him a simple question and stating a fact. He had promised you that he would start coming home early to spend time with you. You knew that being a hero was hard, you were one. However, you also knew when someone was just making excuses and that’s what this was becoming.

“Christ woman! I have work to do! I said I would try, and I have tried. Obviously, I couldn’t make it home tonight so just listen for once and don’t wait up.” No chance of rebuttal, he had hung up immediately after snapping. That was it. The last straw. You let the tears you had been suppressing fall freely. Your phone was aggressively tossed to the ground and unfortunately your body followed it. Your knees hit the ground first before your clenched fist dug into the carpet. Your head buried itself into the carpet before a scream escaped. It was one of filled so much pent up emotion. A scream that needed to be freed, to help release you from this torture he was putting you through. You sat back on the balls of your feet, your hands swiping at your eyes rubbing the tears into your skin. You cried more causing your hands to rub harder, your skin stung and burned from the aggressive motion. Your phone chimed bring your attention back to it. Your hand held the device hoping for an apology but instead read the newest text from Mina. It was another invite, but the party had moved from the club to Yaoyorozu’s house. A smirk replaced your previous forlorn look. You stood up from the floor letting all sadness be hidden away by pettiness. If he could ditch you like that, go back on a promise so easily then you could go against him. He wanted you to stay home like a good girl, but you didn’t feel like being that good girl. You had never changed so fast in your life. Your pajamas were traded in for a formfitting outfit, one your kept for special Mina party occasions. You looked at yourself in the mirror with gleaming confidence. You outfit accentuated all your nooks and crannies. You looked smoking hot and with some simple yet stunning makeup you were ready to go. A quick text to Mina and you left the cold lonely apartment

--------------------

The party wasn’t over the top and thankfully everyone there was a former classmate. You waved as a few people turned to look at you. Sero had to do a double take to make sure he was witnessing reality and not a ghost. You rolled your eyes as his tape grabbed your wrist before a swift yank had you in his arms. A soft chuckle escaped from your lips that were buried in his chest. He smelled like cedar and felt warm. You let your body relax against his as he let you go but kept his hand on your waist. Kaminari had abandoned his post next to Jiro and rushed over. Before he could try and snatch you away from Sero a new pair of arms circled you. Mina was smiling against you neck as she stuck his tongue out at a now pouting Kaminari.

“I’m so glad you actually decided to make it tonight. We were starting to think you hated us.” You shook your head at the fake hurt in her voice. The boys weren’t helping since they nodded along with Mina. You pulled out his grasp backing away so you could see all three of them. They really had changed in the short span of time since you had seen them. Sero was rocking a cool new undercut while Kaminari seemed a little more built. Mina had also cut her hair, but you knew that since you basically stalked your friends.

“I’m so sorry guys. It’s been crazy, work and home have been a little hectic.” A scoff could be heard behind you. Everyone’s eyes shifted to Uraraka who had her arms crossed. Midoriya stood behind her awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. Uraraka’s puffed out cheeks mimicked that of a chipmunk. You raised a brow at her strange behavior. “Did I say something to offend you.”

“No but why lie? We all know that the reason we don’t see you anymore is because of Bakugou.” Your eyes widened at her straightforward accusation. You looked at Midoriya waiting for him to comment but he remained silent, probably in fear of getting involved. You narrow your eyes trying to hold some dignity. “Bakugou and I are fine okay. I just haven’t had the time to make it to any hang outs because I spend time with him.”

Now everyone was looking at you. For being the only sober person in the room you were sounding like the drunk one. Everyone knew that Bakugou had been blowing off plans with you. It was inevitably that they found out since most everyone talks, and things get around. A sigh that matched the one back at your apartment came out. You looked defeated as you returned to Sero’s side. He rubbed your side while Mina shooed everyone’s attention off you. “You don’t have to talk about it but we’re here for you.”

“Thanks guys…” You closed your eyes trying to let your emotions settle before returning to the fun party you had yet to enjoy and partake in. When you reopened your eyes, a smile followed. You were going to have fun even if it killed you. Mina squealed when you asked for a drink and before you knew it one turned to three. Uraraka had ditched her sour attitude and replaced it with giggles as the two of you danced together. You broke free from Uraraka as you watched Kirishima walk through the front door. You didn’t even give the boy a chance to take off his coat before you were tackling him. He was shocked to see you at the party just like the others had been.

“What are you doing out so late? Isn’t Bakubro’s bedtime at 8pm.” Kirishima was able to get a laugh out of you along with the other members of the Bakusquad.

“Yeah his bedtime would be 8pm if he ever came home. He’s always working late. I never see him anymore.” As the words left your lips you felt the air grow cold. Tension was evident. You froze as you felt your blood run cold. There was an unspoken understanding, but you knew that Kirishima wasn’t going to remain silent. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly which was accompanied by a shaky laugh that turned into him clearing his throat.

“I might be wrong but Bakugou hasn’t been working late… I was one of the last people to leave the office. Bakugou left at his usual time…” You wanted to pretend to be ignorant, but this couldn’t be swept under the rug. You couldn’t act like you hadn’t just been told that your boyfriend had been lying to you for months. Oh god your stomach began to churn, and you pushed passed him and through the front door. You ran into someone before turning and throwing up into one of the planters. Sero and Mina ran after you. Kirishima stood in the doorway feeling guilty but also pissed knowing that the person at fault was his best friend. You felt a comforting hand on your back rubbing it gently. You assumed Mina but when you finally turned around your eyes met with lavender ones. A broken smile cracked across your face. He held his arms open and you ran into them without hesitation. Shinsou had always been there for you when you were both attending UA, but time was cruel, and you couldn’t remember the last time you felt secure in his tight embrace. You sobbed and he just let you. Your friends stood by watching with conflicting emotions.

“What the hell did that asshole do now.” Shinsou was never one to speak to you like you were fragile; he was always blunt and honest. He also never approved of your relationship so of course he’d blame your current state on Bakugou. You wanted to tell Shinsou but couldn’t get the words out. Thankfully you had friends who could speak for you. Sero was the one who spoke up. “She found out that Bakugou hasn’t been staying at work late. She is obviously thinking the worst but he’s probably training or visiting his parents.”

“Bakugou? I just saw him at that fancy restaurant that we went to for Midoriya’s birthday. He was there with some busty bimbo. They seemed pretty interested in the conversation they were sharing. She must be a client or some woman after an interview.” Shinso knew exactly what he was doing when he told you about the mystery woman. He hated hurting you, but it was a necessary evil. Shinsou had always had feelings for you even before he understood them. You were always by his side cheering him on and now he was going to do the same for you. Before he could build you back up, he’s having to let you crumble under the lies Bakugou told you. Your eyes shimmered with unshed tears and a storm was brewing. Your fists were clenched, and your friends hesitated to approach you. You swiftly turned around walking passed everyone back inside before grabbing your keys and leaving. You could hear your friends yelling for you, but you never stopped. Shinsou watched your car drive off into the distance. He knew this was going to end terribly but he would be there to catch you. Thankfully since the ground was already starting to give out.

----------------------

“Where the hell have you been!” Bakugou almost dropped his keys as you tried to quietly enter your shared apartment. He turned growling at your accusatory tone. He slammed the door before turning to you. In the light that was cast from the hallway you could see his hair was disheveled, his shirt was wrinkled, and you could swear he smelled a little sweeter than usual. The signs all shone brightly in front of you. Bakugou approached you ready to start an argument over your attitude but stopped when he saw your eyes. They were sunken in, bloodshot, and lifeless. He had never seen you like this. His expression softened before he reached up to cup your cheek. His hand never got to touch you before it was smacked away. “What the fuck Y/n!”

“Who is she… Actually, I don’t want to know. I just want to know why.” Bakugou wasn’t expecting your accusation so he couldn’t help but look shocked. Guilt seemed to creep over him before it was covered up with denial and anger. He scoffed and walked past you toward the bedroom. He didn’t make it before you had spun him around yelling this time. “WHY THE HELL DID YOU CHEAT!”

“SHUT THE HELL UP WOMAN! I DIDN’T DO SHIT! Who the fuck filled your head with such idiotic thoughts? Did you go out with those idiots again? Was it raccoon eyes or maybe that shitty Deku. Whoever told you that is a liar and needs a fucking hobby?” Bakugou yanked his arm away before heading into the bathroom to shower, no doubt to hide the evidence of his infidelity. You wanted to keep shouting and accusing him, but you knew it was pointless. If Bakugou thought he was innocent then he was no matter what kind of proof you had, which was none. Giving up was not an option and as much as this was your home you had to leave. Your chest tightened as you packed your bags. The only sound keeping you company was the shower Bakugou was currently occupying. You wrote a note and gently placed it onto your pillow before turning to leave. You felt your heart stop as Bakugou stared at you wide eyed. You felt like a deer in the headlight. He walked toward you, his hand reaching behind you to grab the note. He read it to himself before burning it in his grip. You flinched at the heat the radiated directly to your left. Bakugou growled as he loomed over you. “So, you’re leaving huh. You think you can just write a fucking note and disappear into the night. You aren’t going anywhere.”

A scream escaped as he grabbed you pushing you into the bed. His hands holding your arms above your head. He smirked as his towel fell at his feet. His grip tightened when you resisted. His knee pushing your legs apart. He shifted onto the bed never letting go of you and never moving his knee which was painfully pressed against you. “What the fuck are you doing Bakugou!”

“You think I’m cheating? Then I’ll just give you the attention you seem to be so deprived of to come up with such bullshit accusations.” You didn’t want this. You didn’t want his hand aggressively holding you down, you didn’t want his knee pushing against your crotch, you didn’t want his teeth biting into your neck like some kind of feral animal. You needed to get away. Your head smashed into his face allowing you the time you needed to get out from underneath him. He cursed while holding his bleeding nose. You grabbed your bags bolting to the front door but before you could open it, he caught you. His arms holding your waist from behind. You let out another scream of fear and agony before the back of your head smashed into his nose, again. A growl slipped out and you finally got the door open. Before you could make your escape Bakugou’s fingers slipped into your hair yanking you back. His lips touched your ear and you could smell the blood flowing freely down his lips. “She felt a million times better than you.”

No words came out instead a choked sob and a whimper as you felt him let you go. You didn’t even hear the door slam you were already out of the apartment complex and in your car. Your hands shook as you called the only person you could think to be awake. “Hey Y/n, what’s wrong?

“Shinsou, I need you.”

---------------------

Bakugou tried to call you a million times after you left but to no avail. You had even blocked his number. He tried to find out where you had gone but no one would share that information with him. He had even gone to your agency but all they could tell him was that you were on a leave of absence. Bakugou truly had fucked up with no sign of reconciliation. It had been a week of trying to find you and failing. Mina, Sero, Kaminari, and Kirishima claimed that they hadn’t heard from you which wasn’t really a lie. They knew that you left Bakugou and that you were crashing at Shinsou’s, but they had yet to visit. Everyone was worried about you, but they didn’t know the truth. They knew you had some kind of falling out but that was it. They had no idea what had actually happened.

“Are you going to lay in bed all day or are you going to actually get up.” Shinsou was teasing you as he slipped on his hoodie that he had to steal back from you. The day that you called him he was ready to break Bakugou’s jaw. He couldn’t believe what you had gone through and he partially felt like he was to blame for telling you about the girl, however you had the right to know that your boyfriend had been cheating on you. Shinsou had tried to make you as comfortable as he could but you were starting to get stir crazy.

“Why am I hiding when he’s the jerk who hurt me!” Shinsou shrugged as you threw his blanket off your body. You rolled out of his bed and stood in front of him pouting. He ruffled your hair while rolling his eyes at your outburst. He had dealt with multiple versions of you over the last few days. Sad, angry, regretful, spiteful, and any emotion in-between.

“Y/n, you don’t have to hide. You are safe with me, but you shouldn’t feel like you aren’t safe out there either. You can go back to your normal life. He won’t hurt you. I promise.” You knew that Shinsou was right and it was time to return to your normal life. Your arms wrap around him before you kiss his cheek thanking him. Before he can respond you run off to shower. He smiles to himself before calling out to you that he’s leaving and will see you later. After you shower you spend some time laying in bed texting Mina that you needed a girl’s day. She was in no way against it and told you she would meet you at her favorite coffee shop downtown. You changed into a cute skirt and one of Shinsou’s shirts that was a little baggy, that you tucked into the skirt. It was a casual and comfy outfit. You grabbed your purse and your phone before leaving the comfort of Shinsou’s apartment.

-----------------------------------

“Y/N!” Mina had trapped you in her hug eliciting a laugh from you. She pulled away and grabbed your face looking you over for any sign or marks that you could have possibly obtained from Bakugou. “You’re okay right?”

“Yes Mina. I’m… I’m not really that okay. I’m still coping with Bakugou using me, cheating on me, just overall destroying me. I’m mad at myself for trusting him for as long as I had.” You leaned your head into Mina’s hand feeling shitty once again. Mina pinched the cheek against her palm causing you to groan in slight pain. She looked sad; she was sad. She cared so much about you and it broke her heart knowing that you were still suffering. She was still missing details of what happened, but she was able to piece some things together after Bakugou drunk called her apologizing for what he had done to you. She was sick to her stomach and wanted nothing more than to call you and apologize herself. “I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there for you.”

“Mina you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m a big girl, I’ll be okay. And I haven’t been dealing with it alone. I’ve been staying at Shinsou’s.” That once sad look was quick to change into one of cat like curiosity. You had said the magic words.

“Shinsou hm.” You shoved Mina as the two of you entered the shop to actually get coffee. “I NEED ALL THE DETAILS.”

-------------------------

“Bakugou you can’t be serious.” Kirishima had been following Bakugou after they ended an all-nighter at work. Bakugou was ignoring Kirishima while heading to his destination. He had gotten a text from Kaminari that you were meeting with Mina. Kaminari hadn’t meant to send that information, he didn’t even remember sending it until Kirishima called him screaming about it. Bakugou already made up his mind, he needed to see you. To tell you how much he fucked up. He needed you back, for you to understand how much he loved you. He regretted everything he had said, he had done. Kirishima had tried to talk some sense into him but he failed. Bakugou thought what he was doing was right and stopping him meant nothing. No one gets in his way.

“Mina wait up you are walking to fast.” Mina had run ahead after seeing something in the widow of a shop that she thought would look amazing on you. You had to stop and let a few cars pass before trying to cross to meet your overly excited friend. The moment your foot moved forward your arm was yanked backward. You gasped before trying to pull it away from whoever grabbed you. As you turned to free yourself you came face to face with something worse than a stranger harassing you. Bakugou’s piercing red eyes were staring into yours, a jolt of fear rushed through you causing hair to stand up and your muscles to tense. People walked by with curiosity since neither of you tried hard to hide your identity. What was ground zero doing with Hero/Name? You didn’t care what random people on the streets were saying or thinking. What mattered right now was getting the hell away him. You yanked harder but his grip just tightened.

“Please, Y/n I need to talk to you.” His voice came out pleading. He was begging you to stay and listen but every fiber in your body told you to run or fight. You let your arm go limp like you were giving in. “Thank you.”

Bakugou smiled but that was literally smacked off his face when you swung your free arm back before delivering a swift punch. Bakugou grunted in pain letting you go so he could touch his hand to his nose. You hadn’t meant to hit him that hard but technically he shouldn’t have touched you, so it was justified. “Y/N!”

“Don’t Bakugou!” Bakugou had reached for you again while Kirishima ran at him trying to prevent this from escalating. Mina had realized what was going on by now and was running toward you. Her and Kirishima were trying to prevent exactly what was about to happen. Bakugou caught you before you could run. His hands held your arms tightly, the fingers digging aggressively into them. You could feel how hot they were, and you were scared that he would use his quirk. You didn’t want to show fear to him. Instead you mustered up a face of pure disgust. “You don’t get to touch me. LET GO OF ME!”

“Will you shut the hell up for a fucking second. I just wanted to talk to you. You disappeared and I had no idea where you went, and I was worried believe it or not. I’ve been kicking my own ass over the shit I said to you.” You stood there letting a man who cheated on you, a man who used you and hurt you, tell you that he was worried that he was regretful. He held you like you owed him this. That was all bullshit. Your shoulders shook as you dropped your head biting back tears that you felt he didn’t deserve. “I love you Y/n.”

The world had been moving just a moment ago and yet now everything seemed to stop. Time stood still but the words echoed. Mina and Kirishima faded out of existence leaving only you and Bakugou. If this was a romance movie it would be followed by you throwing your arms around Bakugou before kissing him. This was real life and you felt no positive emotions. Bakugou’s grip never loosened and his eyes remained staring intensely into your own. He wasn’t going to let you go till you responded. However, no matter how you responded if it wasn’t in favor to what he said then you may as well have remained silent. You felt your heart race from the stress he was forcing onto you. The regret reflected in the crimson orbs almost made you feel guilty. You had loved him. You had given him years of your love and he shattered in along with your trust. You had spend the week crying till your eyes were swollen, screaming until your lungs begged for a break, pleading with some other worldly being to help you get over this pain, and wondering what you could have done to prevent this from ever happening. To say you didn’t love Bakugou would be a lie. You loved him more than some stupid romance. You loved the way he growled in response when he was bothered, you loved the way he never gives up, you loved his honest laugh in which he truly thought something was funny or enjoyable, you loved the way he would kiss you and run his hand through your hair when he thought you were asleep. You loved and still love so much of him but as you look at him those feelings twist like gnarled tree branches and you feel yourself choking back vomit. When you closed your eyes you could picture a woman running her hands along Bakugou’s exposed body, you could hear them panting and moaning, you could hear the secretive whispers, and you could smell the sweet and salty after sex scent they would leave behind. These things were what you dealt with, they hallucinations that haunted you after his cruel revelation. The cheating wasn’t the only thing haunting you. His hands holding you against your will, his teeth biting into you with no consent, and the fingers that entangled into your hair pulling with enough force to bruise. You had experienced fights before, but this was had been different, you were afraid and disgusted with that version of Bakugou. This Bakugou in front of you was the same one just using sad eyes and words of endearment to trap you so he could lock you up properly and punish you for leaving.

“Y/n… please say something.” The world was moving or at least is seemed like you were a part of the rotation once again. People were watching the two of you, but you didn’t notice. You couldn’t break eye contact. Your lips were pressed so tightly together that you were afraid if you tried to open them, they would be glued shut. A dry mouth and cracking lips prompted you to have to unseal your lips as your drying tongue attempted to rehydrate your lips. What could you say that would make any of this better? Was there anything that could even be said anymore. You wanted this to just stop but didn’t know how to make that happen.

“Pro hero Mind Control has everybody on edge with the news of this important somebody he’s been hiding from us.” The moment you heard Shinsou’s hero name the world was back to normal. Your eyes broke from Bakugou’s turning to look directly at the large screen across the street. Shinsou’s figure stood proudly on the screen before it changed to an interview. You watched the woman across from him ask questions. “So, who is this mystery person that you claim means the world to you. Someone so important that you have taken off a week of hero duties to be with them. “

You were the only person on the street watching this interview play. Mina’s voice once again crossed your ears as she yelled at Bakugou to let you go. Kirishima was going to grab his friend but stopped when you gasped. Bakugou had harshly shook you to return your attention to him. His eyes held a little anger and he seemed to have lost patience. “Y/n –“

“This person is someone I love deeply; someone I’d do anything for. I want her to know what love truly is. I love Y/n L/n. Many of you know her as Hero/name…” The rest of the words faded off as you cried. Bakugou had you at the brink of them but hearing this message broadcast to the world had them freely spilling over. A laugh broke beyond your splitting lips. Your fingers dug into Bakugou’s hands yanking them off you. He looked co conflicted, anger and fear blended. You didn’t care about what he was feeling because you finally felt like something was okay. Your hands covered your mouth as you tried so badly not to squeal. You felt the happiness fade as your wrist was trapped in Bakugou’s grip. He wasn’t going to let you go without a proper answer especially now that the world knew what Shinsou thought of you. “Bakugou please let go of me. This… this is crazy. You need to let me go because I… I’m letting you go.”

Bakugou watched you pull your wrist free. He watched you look up at the screen as it played the end of the interview. A smiling Shinsou stood on the screen giving you the confidence you needed. Bakugou wanted to let you leave but he couldn’t. When he looked at your smile, he couldn’t help remembering the times it was for him. You were his everything and now you were slipping from his fingers and into the arms of another man. You turned away from Bakugou smiling at Mina who was also shedding tears. Kirishima finally moved forward and caught his best friend’s arm. Bakugou looked back at Kirishima who mouthed for him to stop. He quickly looked back at you. You were now wrapped safely in Mina’s arms. The two of you sharing a moment that would live with you forever. He let his shoulders drop before turning around. He shoved off Kirishima’s arm before his hands found a home in his jacket pockets. He left you under the screen, now playing an advertisement for some useless product, hugging your best friend while crying over a happiness that you deserved. He walked away, one million regrets coursing through his veins. The one thing he wouldn’t regret was you.

------------------------------------

“Where the hell are the rest of the guests.” You rolled your eyes while Momo held your face still. You could hear Mina bitching in the background about the missing members of your former class. She had made sure that everyone had been invited and was keeping tabs of who had arrived. You could hear Uraraka enter the room with an excited scream. She could see your refection in the large mirror in front of you. Mina grabbed onto the girl so they could be over excited together. You felt so much joy watching them feel this happy for you. Momo had been doing you hair and makeup for what felt like hours and you needed to get into the dress hidden behind the bag hanging on the door. You felt a million things; nervousness, excitement, utterly in love. Not once did you feel regret. You could never regret this. You were about to spend the rest of your life with the person that you loved and truly loved you. It had only been six months since the day you and Bakugou had the confrontation in the middle of a busy street, the same one that broadcast the life changing news.

“Y/n!” You turned after the third time your name was yelled. Mina was pouting holding up the dress. She had a shimmer in her eyes and you almost told her not to cry or she’d ruin her makeup. She’d just tell you to shut up. “Yes Mina.”

“It’s time.” All three girls in the room with you had that glossiness to their eyes as they watched you slip the dress on. It fit perfectly, like it was meant to. You were a different person as you stared at your reflection. This was something you had always dreamed about and here you were living a fantasy, but it wasn’t. It was reality. A knock on the door was followed by the voice of Sero. “Let’s get this show on the road ladies.”

The girls opened the door shoving through the waiting boys who were cackling until they saw you. Kaminari pretended to faint while Sero whistled. Both boys admired you and they honestly thought you looked beyond stunning. You were a single star in an almost pitch-black sky, you just needed to walk down an aisle to find another star so you wouldn’t be so lonely. The music started up and you nodded at your best friends. They smiled back leading the way to your destiny.

“Nervous?” Midoriya had whispered to Shinsou as he stood next to him. He looked over the crowd or friends and former classmates. They all watched with bated breath. You were the star of this event. Of course, Shinsou was nervous. He was marrying the girl of his dreams, the person that gave him purpose. Shinsou watched and when you arrived at the end of the aisle, he felt everything disappear. The guests were gone, his friends gone, the whole world meant nothing. It was black and you were the only light he could see. The way your hair was styled held together by pins and clips hidden underneath a white veil. You were a mystery that he already knew everything about. Like a child who still waited for gifts on Christmas but knew Santa wasn’t real. The way your skin shimmered like rare and brilliant gemstones made Shinsou feel like he wasn’t worthy. Your dress moved so smoothly around and against every curve and bump your body had. Your body made the dress gorgeous, gave it value. He couldn’t see your eyes behind the veil, but he could imagine them. They held stars in them, creating galaxies that he had gotten lost in so many times. Your eyes had depth to them, they told a story and its cliché but its his favorite story. Shinsou hadn’t realized he was crying until your hand gently touched his cheek. Your veil had been flipped over your head revealing your own tears. Shinsou leaned into your touch his own hand moving to cup your face as well. If it hadn’t been for the vows, he would have kissed you right then. You both shared a silent moment of unconditional love before the wedding continued.

The vows could have been skipped because anything you both had to say then you had already said before. No words could ever truly describe how you felt about each other because it was more than just words. Your relationship was based on actions, words, looks, gestures; everything and anything you both did for and around the other mattered as an expression of love. He had tried so hard to make up for everything you had to suffer, and he knew that you might have moments where you questioned him, but he always made sure to have answers or words of reassurance. He never wanted to hurt you and he swore on his life that he wouldn’t.

“I do.” You had spoken the binding words and Shinsou followed. The kiss was simple and yet it held so much meaning. It meant more than the rings. It was something Shinsou would never forget. Everyone cheered and some people cried. Mina was holding onto Uraraka both girls sobbing, Midoriya squeezed Shinsou’s shoulder giving him a thumbs up while his own ducts betrayed him.

-----------------------

“You look so god damn beautiful.” A drunk Kaminari was hanging off you while you chatted away with guests. Mina yanked him off scolding him for his behavior before shooing him away. You laughed not minding at all. While you stood amongst friends who showered you with congratulations and compliments, Shinsou stood leaning against one of the walls near the bar. He had watched you cherishing these moments. He turned when he heard a familiar voice enter his vicinity. He turned in time to see Kirishima and Bakugou walking toward you. He was quick to make his way back to your side in case of any bad blood. Bakugou scoffed when Shinsou appeared but didn’t give him any attention. You smiled at the blonde and red head. Kirishima told you how happy he was for you before leaving the three of you alone.

“Are you happy?”

“Yes.” It was the simplest exchange you had ever had with Bakugou, but it meant a lot to you both. He needed to know that you had finally found the love and happiness you desired and deserved. You needed to know that he was able to let you go without fight. He nodded and hugged you whispering his congratulations. You thanked him before Momo’s voice came over the speakers announcing the first dance starting. Shinsou waved you to the dance floor promising to join you in a moment. He waited for you to leave before looking at Bakugou. Bakugou waited for a threat or some kind of scolding but nothing came. Shinsou remained silent. Bakugou took this opportunity to speak.

“Thank you for taking care of her. I can tell you make her happy and that’s what really matters.” Shinsou still remained silent and Bakugou continued. “I do have a question though. Y/n said I had been cheating and in an angry moment I basically said I was even though I hadn’t done so. Shitty hair told me you told her you had seen me with some woman. I don’t remember going to that restaurant with anyone other than coworkers or interviewers.”

“I lied.” Bakugou stood there frozen with wide eyes. He slowly turned to catch a glimpse of Shinsou’s smirk and a slight darkness behind his eyes. “I lied to Y/n about seeing you with some broad. I knew she would believe me, and I had my doubts about your faithfulness. I should be thanking you for verifying my lie. You made a single lie into an irrefutable truth all because you wanted to hurt her”

Shinsou walked away heading toward you. He never spared Bakugou a second glance as he grabbed your hands kissing them. You giggled before the music began. Bakugou stood with Shinsou’s reveal on his shoulders. In the end he was the one who destroyed your trust but Shinsou admitted to planting the seed of doubt. But all that mattered now was your happiness, right?

#bnha bakugou #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #mha bakugo katsuki #shinsou x reader #hitoshi shinso x reader #bnha shinso hitoshi #bnha #bnha shinsou #mha #mha imagines #shinsou hitoshi #bnha imagines

244 notes · View notes

wiisagi-maiingan · 3 years

Note

Hey sorry to bother you but I had a quick question if that’s ok! I was wondering if there are other aesthetics out there close to cottagecore (like living in the woods if that makes sense) sorry I’m not too good at wording things I just want to find a more non controversial aesthetic that’s similar to it

Mmmmm this is the last post I'm answering about cottagecore for a while, any others will be deleted.

I'm not involved in "-core" communities because I just don't get them, so I don't know any other aesthetics you can try. I don't know the issues with others, alternatives, or anything else like that.

Even if I did, it's not really my responsibility to guide a random stranger through this. People expect me to walk them through the issues with cottagecore AND help them find alternatives but like. I just don't care? That's not my job lmao

Questions like this make me wonder if people really understand the criticisms of cottagecore. It feels like you're assuming the issue is with the name and that you can solve the problem by just. Relabeling it. But you can't. The issues are with the concept itself, regardless of the labels people use for it, and just doing the exact same thing under a different name is pointless. All it's doing is making you feel better when nothing has actually changed.

Just like. Think critically about how you're approaching things like this? I feel like indigenous bloggers, not just me but plenty of others, have gone into a lot of detail about what makes cottagecore bad. If you feel like you can't use that information to engage in similar aesthetics in a way that isn't centered around a colonialist mindset, then maybe you should be working on yourself instead of focusing on pretty pictures.

This is probably worded weirdly, sorry. The brain fog is heavy tonight.

67 notes · View notes

binniedeactivated · 3 years

Text

For the Time Being.| gyu💫(2)

╰─▸🖤❝ @[𝒃𝒖𝒈𝒔𝒃𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒚𝒑𝒊𝒏𝒈.. ]

✎𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝒃𝒆𝒐𝒎𝒈𝒚𝒖 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

✎ 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: 𝒅𝒓𝒂𝒃𝒃𝒍𝒆¡

✎ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕; 2k

[@𝒃𝒖𝒈𝒔𝒃𝒊𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆] 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒍𝒐𝒈𝒈𝒆𝒅 𝒐𝒇𝒇..

-ˏˋ🍧 “𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒘𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒖𝒎–𝒇𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒕𝒆. 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘? 𝒂𝒕 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒔𝒔 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒕𝒍𝒆…”. ˎˊ-

“so, how much did you pay him?”. yara snarled to you as the game began wrapping up. your university team had won at a 15 point blow out. the game was really close and you had to say the team did an amazing job keeping their score up. and no, you weren’t staring at how happy beomgyu was celebrating with his team members, smiling and high fiving them out of pure triumph.

“she’s ignoring you on purpose yara”. rayne mentions grabbing her purse. you quickly snap out of it.”I’m not ignoring her. I don’t have to respond to her negativity all the time”.

yara smirks, “negativity? just admit you paid beomgyu to talk to you. and it’s a fucked up thing to do if you asked me. if a guy likes me I’d like him to like me naturally”.

“I didn’t pay him. he came up to me first”.

“so after you saw yara and rayne gushing over him you went away and came back with him holding your hand out of nowhere?”. sage questions skeptically.

“he said he wanted to walk me to my seat”. you mumbled.

“yeah ri--”.

“hey”. beomgyu interrupted just two steps away from you down the bleachers. he was looking directly at you as if your friends weren’t even there. a small smile flickered at the corner of his lips. you were surprised to even see him.

“hey beomgyu”. you greet sort of shyly, pathetically.

“it’s like a ritual after we win a game, all the guys just go out and celebrate whether it be alone or all together. I was wondering if you want to come maybe?”.

he looked so shy but he was looking at you confidently and you thought it was kind of cute. he was trying to be brave for you.

“if you don’t have any plans already”. he adds.

“no I don’t. I’ll come”. you agreed with a nodding head. the trio looked at you in disbelief, perhaps you paid him for this ordeal too.

“you played good tonight beomgyu”. rayne rushed to say, looking as desperate as possible. you made your way down the steps with the help of beomgyu who slid his hand into yours to help you. he nodded to rayne uttering a small thank you before he turned around to leave with you.

you had to say, that shit felt good to do.

the crowd was slowly spilling out of the doors and to make sure you didn’t get lost beomgyu was clutching your hand tightly. you hoped to god something embarrassing didn’t happen like your hand releasing waterfalls of sweat out of nowhere.

“so are we really going somewhere? or did you do that to save me from my bitchy friends?”.

beomgyu laughs a little, “maybe a little bit of both. did they believe you?”.

“they think I paid you to talk to me”. you admitted tossing in an eye roll for good measure.

“wow they really think you’re that incapable of getting a man?”.

“I guess so”. you murmured. beomgyu was tugging you until the both of you were finally out of the crowded and may you add, very humid gymnasium. the frigid night breeze felt like a breath of fresh air against your skin. you didn’t quite know where he was leading you until he was pulling a grey sports car passenger door open for you.

“after you madamè”. beomgyu says playfully, and roll your eyes and laugh at him because, well, he was an idiot.

you kind of felt like a rebel. normally, these kind of nights would consist of you and your friends getting something quick to eat, calling it a night and parting ways to go to your dorms. but now here you were, in choi beomgyu’s car riding along the beautiful dimly lit night streets with the wind sneaking trips through your hair.

the soft guitar melody of the indie music coarsed through the car, liturgical and heartfelt somehow making you feel as though you were in some scene out of a movie. except you knew you’d never be the main character in this kind of movie.

“so, you come here often?”. beomgyu questions jokingly while still clutching the steering wheel, the destination of you both still being a mystery to you.

“shut up beomgyu”. you laugh, “but if that’s your way of asking me my year and major, I’m a sophmore here. fashion design major”.

beomgyu nods in approval, “I can tell”.

you found that your occasional glance stealing of beomgyu became a full on heist at this point. how can someone be so attractive even behind a wheel?

“what’s that supposed to mean?”. you say playfully pretending to be offended.

“I mean, you dressed really nice to be going to just a game tonight. unless you had someone in mind”. beomgyu jokes once more.

you stifle the blush at your cheeks, “I didn’t, I’m nothing like my friends. I don’t dress to look good for guys, I do it for myself. I like looking and feeling beautiful”.

“with a face like yours you surely don’t need to dress up to look beautiful”. beomgyu mumbles under his breath, all of it sounding like nothing but mesh to your ears.

“huh?”.

“nothing. we’re here”.

you glance out of the front window to see this turquoise and pink colored, vintage looking diner. The vibrant blinking sign stood tall above it,

For the Time Being.

“after you madamè”. beomgyu says again opening the passenger door with his hand out. you take it regardless of his dorky remark. just because he was cute.

“where are your friends?”. you inquire, the diner being quite vacant with the exception of a few elderly couples here and there. you slide inside the sea green colored plush booth seat across from beomgyu.

“I don’t know, probably doing something else tonight”. he says casually before plucking up a menu and holding it just a little over his face. you smirk and tilt it down a little,

“I thought you said you and your friends hang out to celebrate?”.

“yeah you know--whether it be alone or all together”. beomgyu says way too quickly. he was getting so shy and timid, like a child when the meet santa claus for the first time.

“you’re neither alone or with them”.

“and maybe I lied”.

“why would you lie beomgyu?”.

because maybe I’m okay with celebrating even if it’s with you, beomgyu wanted to say. but he didn’t. instead it was the waiter who was saying anything, asking the both of you what drinks you’d like to start off with. the orders were given and the waiter quickly scurried off to fetch them.

“so I was thinking...”. beomgyu starts, “maybe you can post this stuff on snapchat or something to make it look real you know?”.

“I feel like if I post it I will seem, like desperate to them. It won’t look real at all”.

“why not? you can do that little thing girls do. you know the ‘On a date kind of nervous’ thing”. the both of you laugh at the idea.

“they’re going to think that I’m trying to flex if I do it. maybe you should do it. do you have them on snapchat?”.

“I’m not sure maybe I should check”. beomgyu mentions and pulls out his phone opening the snapchat app immediately.

the waiter diligently sits the beverages on the table in front of you, asking if you guys were ready to order. you settled on the idea of banana nut pancakes while beomgyu ordered a burger, fries and a strawberry milkshake. you wondered how he could be so skinny yet possess such a big appetite.

“I’m sure you do they practically stalk you on every social media platform there is”. you say with an eye roll.

“rayne, yara, and sage?”. beomgyu reads aloud. “yes that’s them”. at your confirmation, beomgyu presses the add back button on each of their names.

“so what are you going to post?”. you add, taking a sip of your lemonade.

beomgyu thinks for a split second before getting an idea. he slides his arm on the table. “here, put your hand in mine”. you steadily placed your hand on top of his and he angled his phone camera on them both. except he wasn’t quite satisfied at how hesitant your hand looked to be on his.

“can you hold my hand with more love please? sheesh. what are we? friends?”.

you laugh, snaking your fingers in between his. “fine then”.

“now look at me”.

your eyes immediately divert to beomgyu and he instantly starts making kissy faces and cooing at you like an idiot. you couldn’t help but to chuckle at his efforts. he quickly snaps the picture; a blurry POV picture, you were in the middle of laughing with your hands folded into his.

he posts it to his story with no hesitation.

but of course before he did that, he saved the picture to his phone.

just don’t tell anyone he did that.

“now we shall wait for their reactions”.

gratefully the food arrived to satisfy the hunger rumbling in your stomach. the pancakes looked and smelled delicious, maybe beomgyu was onto something by taking you here. you gave the waiter a small thank you before he went on his way.

“can I at least see the picture beomgyu? i want to know if it will make them jealous or not”.

“don’t worry it will”.

“how do I know?”.

“just trust me, it’s cute enough”. he assures squirting bucket loads of ketchup on his fries.

“if it’s cute enough then let me see”.

“you don’t need to see”. beomgyu laughs, he was really scared that you were going to tell him to delete it. he really loved the picture.

“please?”. you beg, beomgyu bit the inside of his cheeks.

“give me a piece of your pancake and I’ll let you see”.

“fine” you agree, cutting a perfect square. beomgyu opens his mouth. “ah!”. you roll your eyes airily and shoved a forkful in his mouth. he munches with his mouth full.

“now show me”.

“no you can’t make me”. he retorted and quickly hid his phone underneath himself. much too fast for you to see anyway. you looked under the table to see if he hid it there.

you wanted to look serious but the smile on your face said otherwise. “beomgyu i’m serious let me see the phone”.

“for what it’s just a picture”. he shrugged off biting into a fry. your eyes cut him down to size and you decided to make your way to his side of the table instead, towering over him for once.

“let me see”.

“you’d have to find my phone first”. he laughs. you realized the table and the seat was pretty vacant so there was only one place it would have to be. you start reaching underneath his lap and he’s trying his best to grab it making sure it was out of reach for you. as hard as you tried the both of you became a tangled mess with you unintentionally falling on top of beomgyu in the name of phone stealing.

he’s was busy laughing at your failure of retrieving it until you pick your head up and the both of your eyes lock; he realized you were straddling him. he immediately became turmoil on the inside.

#txt #txt fluff #beomgyu #beomgyu fluff #fake dating trope #tropes

91 notes · View notes

bedtimebrain · 3 years

Text

EXO D.O.: A Little Jealous Part 2! (Your POV)

This part 2 took me really long to get it out. I had initially written it in both Ksoo and Your ‘pov’ in one post. But it got too long! So i decided to change it to just your POV(the norm). I still haven’t decided if i should finish the one on Ksoo’s POV.

Edit: I continued Ksoo’s for fun without the intention to finish it, but I think it turned out pretty decent! So His POV’s part is also up now!!

Part 1 Part 2 Ksoo POV Characters: DKS x reader (+exo & random chr)

————-

Back at the team dinner

At the center of the circle, the bottle spun to minho.

‘Truth or dare!’

‘Truth’

‘Ok so, the team has been really curious. WHEN DID YOU AND Y/N STARTED DATING?!’ Ji Hye asked like she has been holding this in for 10 years.

The both of you were a little taken aback at the question, looking over at each other with a laugh.

‘We are just friends, what gave you that impression? We never dated and will never date guys’ Minho answered

‘No way! You guys definitely look like a couple!’

‘Comeon say the truth y/n! You guys are always hanging out together, i even saw you carrying y/n’s bag for you today’

‘yes yes! Weren’t you both holding hands that day?’

Everyone chimed in disbelief.

‘Didn’t know we appeared this way to you guys. Anyway I was just holding y/n hand to shake off this guy who has been bothering her. And I was just helping Y/N with her bag because she looked like she might die anytime just now’

While everyone was sighing and expressing their disappointment, minho made the next spin. You rolled your eyes at minho when it pointed to you.

You picked dare, wanting to divert the team’s attention to something else instead.

‘Ok then, pick from the dare box.’ You reached your hand into it and pulled out a purple strip.

‘Take a selfie with the person from the previous turn and upload to instagram with the caption ‘a cute us’

You almost had a heart attack reading that, this just fueled everyone’s enthusiasm even more.

Although you knew that kyungsoo probably won’t see this since he doesn’t have instagram, you can’t help but feel guilty and worried about it. You’re attached! (Though you can’t say it) and doing this just doesn’t seem right..

There’s absolutely no way you could get out of this. Denying doing this just makes things seem more suspicious between the both of you.

Making it fast ,you did the dare and uploaded the picture. Totally forgetting the fact that other members followed you with their privates. You told yourself in 10minutes you’re getting out of here and deleting that photo.

-----

As usual, minho sent you back. After such a long day you can’t wait to just take a shower and flop down on your bed.

Heading to the shower, you screamed at the sight of a bug.

Running to your phone you sent a SOS to minho,

‘THERE’S A BUG PLEASE COME BACK AND SAVE ME I DONT CARE WHERE YOU ARE’

Just 2 minutes later the bell rang. That was certainly a little fast, you thought to yourself.

Running to the door, you shouted ‘MINHO YA!’ Opening the door, you were surprised to see kyungsoo’s face instead.

'Oppa, why you here ? Did your photoshoot end early? You didn’t text me back tho...’

‘Uh are you expecting someone? Minho?’

‘Oh right, speaking of which I dont need him now, let me drop him a text. Oppa come in and kill the bug for me please!!’ You dragged him right to your shower and stayed far away while he rid the bug for you.

After the bug extermination, you can’t help but sense something’s not too right with kyungsoo tonight.

Hoping to loosen his seemingly tense frame, you reached out to hug him

‘Thank you, for killing the bug’ at the same time flashing him your sweetest smile.

Sitting down and linking your arms in his on the sofa, you asked,

‘Oppa, do you have something to tell me? You don’t look particularly excited or happy to be here today’

Kyungsoo looked to you, and for a good while, did not say anything. Instead, breaking the body contact, he reached for the glass of water on the coffee table; gulping it down as if it was his courage portion.

‘I saw that picture. The one on instagram.’

Your heart stopped, a wave of guilt washed over you as you started to explain yourself

‘Ah that.. sorry oppa, it was a dare I had to do at the team dinner, I tried so hard to avoid it but I couldn’t say I was attached either.. ’

‘But the string of comments sure made it sound like you guys are the most popular ship in your school?’ Kyungsoo replied with distaste lacing his voice

It dawned on you that you had never shown minho’s picture to kyungsoo, perhaps that’s why he was so upset about this. He must have thought the guy in the picture was someone special to you that you never mentioned.

‘Oppa that’s actually Minho in the picture. And you know we are just really close friends.’

At this Kyungsoo looked a little stunned. You could tell he was in the midst of processing his thoughts as a frown started to form on his forehead.

‘I don’t really like you hanging out with minho.’ Kyungsoo blurted out

Now, you didn’t really understand the situation. What’s with kyungsoo acting like a possessive boyfriend?

‘You were always okay with minho and i hanging out. Why does us taking a picture change that ?’ You were a little irritated, you stood up and started raising your voice.

Seeing that you absolutely lost your cool, kyungsoo didn’t hold back either

‘y/n do you know how i felt looking at those comments?! I am not okay with the whole school thinking you both are together when you’re supposed to be my girlfriend!’, he got up from the sofa in frustration

‘Ya! Even if i am not friends with minho, I can’t always avoid such situations! Because i can’t tell anyone i’m attached, guys still hit on me and people think they can pair me up with random guys because they think i’m single!

To me, they can think whatever they want but minho is just a friend. Oppa, shouldn’t you of all people understand this the most?’

‘You’re asking me to understand when minho actually looks your ideal type? And i never knew about it?’

You were caught off guard at this question. Your ideal type? Tall, well built, sporty , fun... Suddenly realising minho does fit the bill for your ideal type.

Though feeling a little bad now, you were not going to give in to this ridiculous argument. Your friendship with minho was on the line.

‘My ideal type? If we wanted to get together, we would have long ago ok! Why would I get together with you then him?!’

You both stayed silent for a little while, turning your backs on each other at the peak of the argument.

Calming down, you told yourself this could go on and on tonight, or you could just take a softer approach towards your boyfriend.

Out of love, you put aside your frustration and hugged him instead. Leaning into his chest, you didn’t know exactly what to say either.

Dropping to his low voice, kyungsoo muttered ‘When I saw that picture, it felt like my nightmare came true. Every night i get worried that you would one day get tired of dating an idol.. Or even dating someone like me..’

You never knew kyungsoo felt this way, he was never particularly expressive in the relationship. You knew he liked you and genuinely cared for you, but you never knew he loved you this much.

‘we don’t spend alot of time together but you always get to be with minho.. so much that people think you’re both attached..’

At this point, you saw through him. You came to understand the picture triggered his insecurities and manifested as jealousy.

You pulled him back down on the sofa and started

‘oppa, i cannot promise you people will stop misunderstanding minho and i, but i will be more careful to draw a clearer line in our friendship for you.

and i never thought of minho as my ideal type or saw him in a way more than friends. i know it might not put you at ease hearing me say this, but can you trust me?

I have been friends with minho for many years and have met many guys too. But it’s you for me ok?’ you held onto his arm and looked in his eyes saying this, hoping he sees what you feel for him.

Poking him at his little belly, you continued light heartedly

‘though you may not be the most attractive looking man out there...’ causing him to look up at you as you say it.

Giving him a peck on the cheek you continued

‘but you make me feel comfortable and special all at the same time. saranghae oppa, you’re the only one.’

At your words, he pulled you closer and rested his chin on your head, saying

‘ Though i still don’t feel the best about our situation and about minho, but i know we can’t help this.. Just promise to stay with me please’

Raising your pinky finger and turning up to face him,

‘ i promise you oppa!’

Linking your pinkies together, kyungsoo finally smiled back at you today and said

‘na do saranghae’ didn’t really turn out the way i thought it would for a jealousy story, haha. but still hope you enjoyed it!

on a side note, im thinking of doing this scenario for baekhyun too! i think his might be much easier to imagine, hahha. if you’re a baek fan please don’t expect too much tho! it won’t be as long as ksoo’s if i actually do it~

#do kyungsoo #kyungsoo #exo #exo d.o.#exo scenario #exo scenarios #kyungsoo scenarios #d.o. scenarios #kyungsoo jealous #fanfic #exo jealous #exo kyungsoo #exo fanfic #exo fluff

19 notes · View notes

youremyonlyhope · 3 years

Text

Starship Rewatch

10 years ago today (well, yesterday since I’m posting it a day later), 15 year old Hope curled up on her couch to watch a new StarKid show called Starship right as it dropped. This was the first time I got to watch a show when it was posted since I didn’t become a StarKid fan until a months earlier. I was so excited.

And now, I’m rewatching Starship for the first time in full in at least 5 years I think. I listened to the soundtrack twice earlier today, singing along at my desk at work (thank god no one else was here tonight to judge me). I still know so many of the lyrics. And so many little jokes and stuff were flooding back. Starship was my favorite StarKid show for a long time, so I’m so excited to watch this again to see if it’s still my fave.

This post ended up being really long, so you’ve been warned. But it also includes pictures of the crocheted Roach and Bugette plushies that I made as a teen.

OH. THE OLD LOGO. AHHH. I already have so many feels. The future is now! I can’t handle this. The nostalgia! The Galactic League of Extraterrestrial Exploration. My facebook account to this day says I am a Starship Ranger at the G.L.E.E. because I’ve never bothered to change it. Also, shoutout to anyone from the StarKidPotter FB and EFST days if you’re reading this. AHHH IT’S CHRIS AND ERIC. Ok I might have to pause 20 thousand times during this Starship Ranger ad to acknowledge all the StarKid cameos. Tyler! “We come to conquer... in peace!” Tyler I love you. Brian and Richard! I forgot they painted Richard BLUE. Britney and Ariel! Nicholas Joseph Stauss-Matathia! I see that StarKid’s website has shortened his name to just Nicholas Strauss but remember the days when we’d purposefully say his full name? Anyway, I literally just screamed “NICK” when I saw him because he was always one of my faves. The Old Snatch was and still is iconic. Devin and Lily! The Wizard God himself, AJ Holmes. God... remember those AJ Holmes appreciation days where we’d make Chuck Norris-like memes about AJ? So much is rushing back from the depths of my mind oh my god... It’s been so long yet it feels like yesterday... “Someone really *static* F- *static* -ucked up big time” Love it.

2 minutes and 22 seconds in. I’ve written so much. I had to pause before Joey started singing to take a moment. I love this show so much. I love these goofballs so much. And they’re all so young. Most of them are younger than I am now. This is insane.

Ok I have to promise myself not to pause as much now. *Spoiler, I failed*

“I’ll fight off this gamma radiation if it’s the last thing I ever do!... We’re going down! This is the last thing I’ll ever do!” Oh my god. Look at baby Joey. He hasn’t even graduated from college yet. And that Bug puppet! Someone remind me to dig up the pictures of my crocheted plushies of Starship puppets since I made Roach and Bugette and gave them to the StarKids at SPACE and Apocalyptour. (I also did Rumbleroar, but the bugs were my own pattern I made so I was more proud) The camera is focused in on Bug instead of Joey’s face. I love it. So much. Brannnttttttt. My god. Am I gonna freak out over every single entrance? Roach pretending to die, he’s the best friend ever. “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs.” “Or the one bug, I know.” Oh man, when that line comes back... “Dirt eater” “Exoskeleton polisher” “I wanna build honeycombs” “The bug that ruins your picnic” “A fly on the wall!” That line came back to me earlier today and I died. Remembering that line was like 50% of the reason I listened to the soundtrack today.

Nick Lang! Julia! LAUREN LOPEZ. THERE SHE IS. Lovebugs, I can’t. *Sentimental music* “You could come over to my nest and I could... tear off your head and let my larva devour your body?” How did I forget that line? The way Lauren has to kick Bugette’s larva sack to walk. But the way that it also works so well with the character. I can’t. The Mosquito Brothers!! I forgot they show up so early. “This is our sister, Sweetheart” “...YO.” I CANNOT HANDLE JIM POVOLO. The “zzzz”s like buzzing as backing vocals instead of the usual “ahs” and “oohs.” The things you don’t appreciate until years later. Darren, you genius. That is such a good detail. For a second I couldn’t remember who the Overqueen is played by. 99% sure it’s Jim (It is). Also. Overqueen like ovary... and it looks like a giant vagina. That had to be pointed out to me later. “FLATTERY WILL GET YOU... everywhere.” Why did I forget that line too? “I’m a starship ranger” “Quiet you, you’re drunk” “No I’m drunk!” I remembered that line probably like... 2 minutes earlier when I noticed Joe huddling in the background and realized that line was coming up. The way Joey lets go of the puppet so both he and the puppet walk away with their arms limp... so cute.

Before even pressing play on part 3, I can hear February saying “Let the record show I am super ahead of schedule.” and I’m dying. I forgot about Brian as the escape pod. Denise Donovan! That Star Trek prop. I’m dumb so I can’t remember if it’s a communicator or what. But I know my Uhura Barbie had a mini one that I lost within a month probably. “OxyGen” “Schience” I can’t. “Mission Log... I think I just heard a spooky noise.” How am I forgetting all of these amazing lines? “Pika-pi!” AHHH I JUST SCREAMED. “My stars, I seemed to have landed in a field of these aMiNals!” I can’t. “Can I tell you guys something?” *port de bras and falls gently to the ground* “Hello!” “TOTORO!” I’m dead. The balloon mechanism on the mosquitos! I forgot about that! “HOLY SHIT IT’S A BUUUUGGGGG” Ok something I noticed but didn’t mention earlier. The bug puppet that Joe uses when he says “I had my heart set on nourishment” is the same one red and pink one that Julia used when talking about wanting to be nourishment. When Julia actually gets eaten, she’s using a different bug puppet, the green and pink one, but the same character voice. So, I can’t tell if they intentionally had her play 2 bugs so Joe could be one of them later, or if it was a mistake. I might also just be overthinking things. “ME THINKS IT WENT THAT-A-WAY” I cannot handle Jim Povolo. That scream Joe does as he slimes her. Woah I originally wrote “There seems to be no signs of intelligent lifeforms anywhere” earlier and then deleted it since I don’t know why I found it remarkable. And then looking at the comments of this part I see someone mentioned a Toy Story reference. So that’s why that line stuck out to me. Aww StarKid. There are so many Disney references in this show.

THERE SHE IS. THERE’S MY GIRL TAZ. The pew pew effects how could I forget that! “Hey Taz. You’re pretty tough for a chick.” “I was just going to say the same thing about you.” “Woahhhhhhhh” JoMo oh my god. “My spectrometer readings are off the wazooooooo” That line kills me. Why am I JUST NOW noticing, 10 years later, that Tootsie enters this scene with his gun facing the wrong way. Oh my god. “I saw the empirical proof that science killed god. It’s comforting to know he was once alive though. I like to think that when he died, he went to heaven.” Oh Tootsie Noodles. “...What the hell kind of name is that?” “He’s got bear hands??” Why do I forget all of these lines??!? That record scratch and freeze frame to go “BOOOOOO” oh my god I forgot that. “Like the other day, he was in the cafeteria, just cah-rying in front of everybody.” BOOOOOOO. Here we go, Taz’s amazing Up monologue. “And when Up, cuts an onion, the ONION is the one who cry.” HELP. Also 99% sure I used that joke for AJ appreciation at least one year. “Now take a walk off my knife” What a line. So awesome. I remember having a profile pic on FB that was the text of that monologue and the image of Lauren screaming “WALK IT OFF” I’m still convinced that first “WOO” from the audience that we hear when Up enters is Darren. “I do not peepee sitting down” “Huh??” JoMo’s face as if he’s trying his hardest not to laugh and I can’t tell if that’s him breaking character or if Krayonder is actually trying not to laugh. “I peepee like big boy, deadgoddamnit. So stop making fun of me because it hurts my feelings” I’m dying. Also, deadgoddamnit is amazing. “if you don’t go out there and die for something, then I will kill you for nothing.” I remembered the mirror scene, just seconds before it started and already started laughing. “You’re not a failure, overall.” “Allow me to introduce you to the final member of your team. MegaGirl!” I forgot how DRAMATIC that was. I also forgot that’s how MegaGirl comes into the story.

I need to stop pausing every 5 seconds oh my god I’ll never finish this tonight if I don’t.

“All hail AstroBoy” That was the funniest line. “MegaGirl, can you kill humans?” “No. But I’d like to.” I can’t handle it. “A horse ate my cousin! Me and horses got a feud.” #1 MegaGirl doing the “I’m watching you” hand sign. I can’t. “Hey. Miráme. *Slaps* NOW ESCHUCHAME” amazing. “Or that time. You taught me calculus... CALCULUS WAS TOUGH.” I never went past pre-calc. Nope. Ah. Get Back Up. One of my fave songs. “And now we dance.” Dylan’s “OW” as they lean back. “Ok Idiotas. Say something nice. Or I will kill you.” It’s all so iconic.

“So you still think being an egg planter is lame?” “...Yes.” The larva oh my god. I forgot we see one before the end. That’s Jaime playing the larva I think. Life is definitely one of my all-time favorite StarKid songs to this day. I wish it was longer. I love it so much. And I love that its instrumental is scattered as a motif throughout the show. “It’s a short, small thing we lead. With so much potential, pointless or essential, which one can I be?” Wow. Near Pippin levels of giving me an existential crisis. Also wow Joey improved his singing so much between AVPS and Starship. “My name’s Bug” “*Gasp!* Like a bug??” “Uh... no.” “Good. I’m February, like the month, but a person.” I should start saying that honestly. “I’m Hope, like the concept, but a person.” “You boldly go where every man -hey- woman -bark woof- or data dog has ever gone before! Sorry K9DX” Adorable. Joey’s subtle little double nod he makes the Bug puppet do when he’s shocked she thinks he’s a Starship Ranger. Amazing. Ah he said goddamn not deadgoddamn! February should have known right then he wasn’t human! “Take my claw” that too. "The only thing that needs to rest are your jokes, because they are so tired.” “Woahhhhhh” No but like... why don’t I use that line in everyday life... “Now I am slightly less weak.” “Ok. I’m going to shoot this metal bitch!” I’m dying. How did I forget the Taz/MegaGirl rivalry?? “That thing is a R-O-B-O-T man” “Can’t fool me with numbers, Krayonder.” I’m dead. “The stack of hay was my cousin!” #2 The way Meredith says “barometric pressure” is great. And Tootsie saying “Well you must take real good care of it, because I never would have guessed.” He’s such a sweetheart. “Nobody shoot dammit, nobody shoot.” “KILL KILL KILL” I never really liked Hideous Creatures but it’s so cute to see MegaGirl do the choreo robotically. I love that the Gap hasn’t changed. “Cool it skank, you do not know me.” Another line that I forgot until a split second before it was said. I’m so glad whoever edited this added some pews going in the wrong way for Tootsie’s gun. I know I definitely noticed Tootsie’s gun was backwards during this part, but I don’t know if I noticed it was backwards in that very first scene too. I forgot about MegaGirl tossing out Specs. That “MEGAGIRL!!!” scream from Joe though.

“Never in my 6 long days of life.” Underappreciated joke. Also, I think this is the 4th unique upright bug puppet. We got red/pink, green/blue, green/pink, and now red/blue. Also, Nick Lang is a great puppeteer. “Yes, I helped her escape. But I swear, never in a million years, did I think I’d be caught and yelled at for it!” Oh I forgot Bugette is the witness. Jaime’s angry face behind Joey is killing me. “He didn’t know the humans were evil.” “Oh, they’re not.” “Shut up!” Humoons and hoomans. “And no more singing or dancing” *gasps of horror* “The Overqueen has overspoken.” “Well, that’s not gonna help your chances with Bugette” Oh Roach. “PERHAPS.” Jim destroys me.

God the 4-person Pincer puppet. Amazing. Dylan’s arms being strong enough to be above his head for 10 minutes straight. Amazing. Also, Nick Lang is so emotive as a claw. It took me a sec but yeah JoMo is the tail. “There were? Where are they?” Joey’s face. “Tell me all about her” The claws under the chin I can’t. Hey StarKid, I see you throwing in an ad mid-video before Kick It Up a Notch. You’re lucky I love and support you guys. “Put ‘em together and what have you got?” bibbity boppity boo. More Disney references! This scene is full of them. Man, remember when we were all blown away by Dylan’s voice in this song the first time? Like we could tell he could sing in AVPM/S, but his songs were just so jokey and only his long “Welcooooooooooome” showed us his talent. But then Kick It Up a Notch happened. And we FINALLY appreciated Dylan’s beautiful voice. “I pushed it to the limit.” and “To coin a phrase, be a man.” more Disney. I might be overthinking this and will have to rewatch Life to confirm, but I think the camera zooming out as Pincer reprises Life is just like the camerawork when Bug sang it originally. If so, then wow even when filming their shows StarKid really thinks it all through. (Update: It totally is referencing the original zooms for Life and that’s amazing. Except it’s zooming out instead of in. I LOVE the attention to detail even in filming the show. I’m gonna guess that’s Liam’s doing.) All I can see when I hear Bug’s chorus of this song is Jaime and her SPACE tour dancing, which they incorporated in Apocalyptour as actual choreography. Because they’re goofballs. The kick line. Love it. God. Even though it’s not my favorite song from Starship (just because I love Life and Beauty more), Kick It Up A Notch is one of the best StarKid has ever done. I really has everything. Dylan’s gorgeous voice. Not one but two reprises of earlier songs to throw Bug’s own words back at him. Jim’s bass line. Awesome puppets. Disney references. It’s so amazing. I love how all the comments are either about Dylan’s voice or Dylan’s ability to hold his arms up for a 10+ minute scene or both.

"Gameover man, gameover!” “I feel like cutting open your belly, and filling it with jelly” *Gasps* Oh my god, I put on the captions for a second, and the caption said *Sad spayed puppy noises* “I am in charge of this mission now.” How did I forget about the mustache until 2 seconds before it happened? “She’s got the mustache now. *Kisses head* I love you” Oh my god Tootsie. I FORGOT ABOUT THE SECOND STACHE. There’s an ad right when we see Bug’s human form and I can’t even care because look at him! Ahhh. And the blue headband! Ahhhhh. Joey you’re so adorableeeee. “Bug? Well that’s a fine name.” His concerned face then the relief. Adorable. “Thank you sir. I am a tough bitch.” “Getting nothing but bug muff?!?” I love the slight delay the audience has before laughing as they realize what was just said. “Bug. You hard, ese. You flame.” I die. “Up there. In Space!” *dramatic pointing* No I totally didn’t just do the dramatic pointing with them... no that’s not in my muscle memory from 10 years ago... why would you think that. I’ll rave about Status Quo after it’s done. “But, what if I miss you?” Awwwwwwwww. And that “Just look up.” screenshot was used for “This.” memes in the fandom for years.

Oh Joey. Status Quo is such a good song too. And he really did improve as a singer to sing it. Earlier this week I remembered that this week is also the 10th anniversary of that time Darren was hopping from city to city every single day to promote the Warblers album. And at one point in that week he did a livestream that I remember rushing home to watch. In that livestream, I am 99% sure he sang Status Quo as a little sneak preview for Starship being released later that week. (Just checked, yep he sang it in a livestream on April 20 2011) God I love this song. Then the version the boys all sang for SPACE Tour was beyond beautiful too. Ahhh I love this musical.

Ok. It’s almost midnight. I started this 3 hours ago. I’m probably not finishing the show until 2am at the rate that I’m pausing and stopping to comment. But OH WELL.

“Dr. Spaceclaw” wow. “Leaving them behind was of little consequence, but a pleasure.” Oh Megagirl. “You did a very good job today too, son.” “*Gasp* Thanks dad.” That Star Wars fake-out though. Speaking of Star Wars, I really need to rewatch Ani now that I’m actively a Star Wars fan unlike last time when I still wasn’t invested in the movies I just watched them. How did I forget about Jaime playing Junior’s new mom?? ...Does Junior get an alien incubating in his chest... is that foreshadowing... I can’t remember. (This was like... half a foreshadow) This scene is funnier now that Breredith is married. The way Junior says “Phew” I’m dead. I remembered how they restrain MegaGirl once again 2 seconds before it happened oh my god. “We deserve bubbles on our skin.” An iconic line. “Well thank the long dead god you made it, Bug!” The crunching of the handshake, I can’t. Oh someone in the comments pointed out that Bug and February are doing the Tarzan hand thing while Up’s asking Taz to see a movie. Adorable.

Get yourself a man like Tootsie who won’t stand for you talking down about yourself. “Maybe this was all part of God’s plan. He made before he died.” I love the dead god jokes. I remember years ago some kid on facebook was like “The dead god jokes are offensive” and I was like “It’s a sci-fi musical about a bug in a human body but sure worry about god being dead.” but probably in an even more immature answer. I’m just mesmerized by Tootsie and MegaGirl’s verses. God. The first Dylan and Meredith duet. Amazing. And MegaGirl’s confused face is great. “Don’t press that button, or we’ll all be sucked into space.” So... Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is? Oh shoot... ok wait no I’ll comment on that when we get there. God that is such a cute love song. I wrote barely anything just because I love that song so much. Would love to know where Tootsie’s taking her though.

Oh my god this scene! I forgot about this. How could I forget this. “Well the world always looks a little bit brighter, from on top of a lap.” I had remembered Bug sitting on Up’s lap, but not Specs. This is the part I forgot. Adorable. Ahhhh so cute. The Specs/Krayonder relationship was apparently cut from the filmed version, but was present if you saw it live. These moments are adorable. And I love how this is the second person JoMo’s had to carry in this show since he also carried Denise earlier. “Why if it isn’t Bug, my oldest friend.” and “Don’t say that, my dear.” are adorable. Oh wait. Up sat on Bug’s lap. Not the other way around. Ok. I didn’t remember this scene as well as I thought I did. I’m dying. I didn’t want to write anything during this, but oh my god “That son of a bitch Optimus Prime” I forgot that. I love the audience’s reaction to “The entire right side of my body, it’s a robot” because they all gasp, and then laugh at themselves for gasping. I knew there was something he couldn’t do without crying. I didn’t remember it being “Sir I Wanna Buy These Shoes” Christmas Song. It’s ok Up, I haven’t listened to that song in full in years. I can’t handle it. But Christmas songs in general make me cry too. Oh Up said goddamn instead of deadgoddamn too. Hmm... Aww the mother spider story. “I think the old you was just killing out of hate.” “Oh I was.” I’m dying. Awwww the nose kiss. I definitely remembered that. “Deadgodspeed soldier!” The way Joey misses catching the keys and also Darren’s “Woo!” in the audience again. So great. That 12 minute scene is just adorable and the Up story is so dramatic and hilarious.

Hmm finishing before 2am might be ambitious... “Hahaha. Then I’ll shoot him!” “Taking care of my business down on the planet is that cool with you?” Brian’s delivery of that line has always intrigued me. “How much I care about my MegaGirl unit’s survival is also a percent equivalent to zero” Rude. “You are nothing like my boyfriend, Tootsie Noodles.” “Yes, well - wait WHAAA” This scene is so different now that they’re married. “Ha. Ha. It was cute.” “You’re... a toaster.” *Slaps* Ok 1) I used to use that insult all the time and only half ironically. I was a strange teenager. 2) She just hurt a human... isn’t that against programming, or can she just not kill humans? Evil angry Brolden is something we need more of. I love Brian as a villain. More please. “You stupid goddamn robot” So I guess they say goddamn and deadgoddamnit. I’m overthinking the evolution of language in this universe. Also Brian’s screams while being choked are amazing. I’ve never forgotten those, if anything they’re better now.

AHHHH I REFRESHED AND DELETED ALL OF MY STUFF FOR BEAUTY. Kill me. I’m so mad. Let me try to recreate it but I hate myself. I was saving this draft after every part but OF COURSE I don’t save after my favorite song and then refresh.

Oh poor Meredith. Her white wig doesn’t let her blend in as much when she’s in the hoodies playing a bug. “Oh hey Bugette, we’re just trying to get Bug laid!” That bug had to know about Bugette’s crush though? That’s just cruel. “The ending is killer” ruuuuuuddddddddddeee. I know I had at least one more point, but that’s lost to the ether. Beauty is probably my fave, if not tied with Life. When I was listening to it earlier, I was overcome with emotion because it’s just such a joyful song. These days I cry over happy stuff almost as much as I cry over the sad. And these lines just hit so hard... I love it. I love this song so much and this scene so much. “Bug. She excreted her filth for you. WE DID IT!!!!!!!!” Brant Cox is so good. It really is a shame he’s not in anything else besides AVPSY and the 10th Anniversary with everyone else. “I do accept you for who you really are. A genius.” Well February, you’ll be glad to know that you thought of that, so you’re the genius. Wow. Junior’s 25, Brian was 25, and now I’m 25. This really was perfect timing for the 10th anniversary. Also I do not feel 25. “Suck off!” amazing.

I’M SAVING THIS TIME.

Ok next part. Luckily I was only 1 minute into the next part when I refreshed. Still so mad at myself... “Someone really firetrucked up big time” (Dead)God I love that line. I also used firetruck unironically. Once again, I was a strange teenager and I didn’t like cursing and I still don’t. “This is so weird, I’m so used to the scrambly version.” (It was while writing this line the first time that I refreshed and lost Beauty....) Ok as I watch AJ, it’s hitting me that he almost definitely came to the set during rehearsals and filmed his part since it’s not a green screen like the rest of them. “The hunters have become the hunted, and it’s wabbit season.” “That was a good video, until the end when it got sad.” Thanks Bug. “I think, I just had a think” See February’s smart. “I’m in a weird situation” Love that line. “Bug is a BUG!? I DON’T BELIEVE IT” Oh Junior. Dylan’s insulted face at “I am not... a dumbass.” So I can’t tell if Brian forgets he’s trapped when he moves his arms into a more relaxed position to lean on the column and then puts them back, or if it’s purposefully staged that way. Brian’s acting while he pretends to be shy and embarrassed about his evil plan is amazing and adorable. Brian has a good evil laugh, why don’t we get him as a villain more often? Also I was gonna make some sort of joke about Nick as Pincer’s left claw vs. Robert as Snarl’s left paw, but I’ll leave it be.

I FORGOT ABOUT THAT WEIGHT TAZ WAS LIFTING JUST FLOATING UP TO THE SKY WHEN SHE LETS GO. I just laughed out loud. “Damn that G.L.E.E. They’re always making twisted abominations of everything!!” I cannot handle it. And the wink. Poor Darren but also not poor Darren at all. I was just now WRACKING my mind for who could possibly be playing Pincer’s tail if JoMo was being devoured by mosquitos. It’s Brant. Literally the entire cast is currently onstage. Ok Krayonder’s been getting his blood drained for 3 minutes, why is he alive? OH I FORGOT KRAYONDER GETS UP AND SHOOTS THE BUGS. Ok and he gets chopped by Pincer’s claws too so HOW does he survive? StarKid answer!!! I forgot how dramatic this musical gets when you got both the bugs and MegaGirl coming after the humans. Aww the Vulcan salute from Specs. “I changed my name. To Tootsie... MegaGirl.” I love the reactions of the people in the audience who immediately realize what that means. I hear at least one “oh my god” that sounds like sobbing. Awwwww Tootsie’s “that’s real” speech and “I’d love you if you was the horse that ate my cousin.” (#3) just... get yourself a man like Tootsie MegaGirl. He is perfection. God the downloading love scene is so cute. I can’t handle it.

The Up saving Taz scene is so dramatic. Then Brian and Jim just calmly walk offstage. It kills me. Also why did Jaime just continue to lie there? “I just needed to learn how to kill with my heart.” Not exactly what Bug meant, but it works. God Taz climbing onto Up’s back is still the most hilarious thing ever. Whoever thought of her climbing that way was a genius. So funny. I always wanted to try it. Holding the gun up to her head like a blowdryer always gave me anxiety. Making the door out of a scrim that can be backlit was genius. Oof and bringing back “The needs of the many bugs outweigh the needs of the few bugs. Or the one bug.” just hurts. Poor Bug. My heart. This is probably the line that sticks with me to this day and I do think about sometimes.

Ok it’s now 2am and I still have 2 more parts.

I sorta love that Joey didn’t have the time to change into his blacks so he’s still in the Starship Ranger suit while playing the Bug puppet. “Save the Overqueen. I love her.” Awww. “Roach, I’m gonna get the job done if it’s the second last thing I do.” Love it. That Kick It Up A Notch Reprise though. Brian, you should play villains more often. Also remember all of us being like “LUPIN CAN SING?!?!?!??!!” “Lucky for me, God is dead. When you see him in hell, tell him Junior sent you.” Deadgod I love that line. This whole deadgod thing was just leading up to that amazing line. Oh no Bugette! Bug saying “maestro” oh my god. “DFSDSJFDSJKFDS... I’m dead.” I forgot that part! Oh my god the way Brian flicks the glasses back down on his face. Ok so I saw Lauren wiggle her way behind the mucus sac, but I didn’t see Nick come onstage. I rewinded, and I guess the zoom in shots on Brian and Joey were timed so we can’t see Nick join Lauren to be the first larva to come out. Oh well. And I love the crowd cheering as Junior dies. “And bingo was his name-o” That callback though. I forgot that the Overqueen eats Bugette’s body while crying. “Or Bugette! Oh...” Also god Roach is adorable.

Last part. 2:21am. Here we go. Krayonder got his blood sucked out by giant mosquitos and was cut up by a giant scorpion, but all he needs is a bandage around his head. Awwww the soft “I Wanna Be” playing the background as Bug begs the team to accept his bug form. Bug being so mad “It’s that bastard Pincer isn’t it?” and then being so happy that Joey does the little nose scrunch thing. So cute. JOEY’S FACE WHEN DENISE KISSES THE BUG PUPPET. Cannot believe I forgot that until 2 seconds before it happened too. “I now pronounce you man vs. machine. Fight!” WOAH. Why in the WORLD did “eep op ork ahah” come back to me. I was able to say it WITH Joey. That was straight from the DEPTHS of my teenage brain oh my god. I forgot about that oh my GOD. THAT’S INSANE. I FORGOT SO MUCH STUFF BUT I REMEMBERED HOW TO SAY “I LOVE YOU” IN BUG.

And the Beauty reprise.

God I love this musical. It’s still my fave StarKid show I think. And I’m horrified to see that it has only 500K views for the last part, so only 500K people have watched it all the way through after 10 years. That’s disgraceful. It’s amazing. Watch Starship.

It is 2:32am. I started at 8:50pm. Got sidetracked when I had to rewatch the Beauty part of Act 2 again to make sure I got my notes back in the post. Took a few bathroom breaks. But this is mostly because I paused every like 10 seconds to make a comment, so it took 5 and a half hours to watch a 3 hour musical. This why I take forever to watch things while liveblogging. I take too long to writing notes.

I’ll probably just post this in the morning. Gotta proofread for mistakes before posting.

Ok it’s the next afternoon. This post is literally 5,000+ words and takes 20 minutes to read according to a online word counter. I’m sorry to whoever read this entire thing. Your reward is the pictures of the Starship plushies I crocheted when I was 15 and 16.

(Ignore the bad lighting and my horribly chipped paint. That’s the only picture I have of the Bugette one since I gave it to Lauren Lopez a day later. I started making another for myself shortly after but never finished. Maybe I should finally finish the second one... hmm...)

#hope rewatches starkid #guys i'm not kidding it's 5000+ words i wrote a lot i commented on basically every single second of this 3 hour musical

7 notes · View notes

boomerang109 · 3 years

Note

♧ i want one 😡

send me a ♧

of course!!

You’re my: bestie, co-podcaster, most-consistently-talked-to-friend

How I met you: the zuko jesus/judas post (i don’t know what was happening tbh, and SOMEONE deleted it so....)

Why I follow you: other than the obvious, i appreciate that you clearly cúrrate your material. whenever i check in on your blog there’s only a few new posts, you put up a few quality posts instead of spam reblogging (i’m a spam reblogger tho so, no shade towards the many people i follow who do that)

Your blog is: relatable—full of great quotes and hard hitting posts, amazing queer stuff, bullying hella, and high quality fandom posts. also i love when you post about your life, it’s always great to hear about (yes even when it’s a complaint/rant, i enjoy knowing how you’re doing

Your URL is: funny. peak creativity. also we match (our names and then a number) which is cute

Your icon is: you!!! i literally smile everytime i see your icon. not even because i was there (and viiiiibing very much) when you drew it, but also just cause it’s so pretty and i love the bi pride and the fact that it’s YOU

A random fact I know about you: you have a rainbow shoebox in your closet and have been almost kidnapped multiple times

General opinion: i literally want to grab you by the shoulders and shake you because i literally see so so many people loving you because you’re so freaking amazing, but you can’t see it. which is insane. please, read this with your little voice that negates all my compliments turned OFF. read this with a voice that believes what it reads, or at the very least reads it neutrally. cause i promise i won’t write anything that isn’t true. you’re so resilient and strong (and if you can’t at least admit that, after all you’ve survived, than your mean inner voice has not turned off as requested). you are kind and patient (you’ve literally listened to me complain so often, you give amazing advice, and put up with how terrible i am at communicating). you’re beautiful (you literally are. your hair is gorgeous, you look so pretty without makeup and yet you’re so good at it and so you elevate your looks so much? and you’re so fashionable!!). you’re so fucking intelligent. and i know you don’t believe that but my reasoning is too important to even go into parentheses. first of all, if you weren’t book smart, that’d be okay cause you’re CLEARLY life, people, etc (aka the important types) smart. but you literally ARE traditionally intelligent too. abby, i literally spend my ENTIRE day working on schoolwork and i still don’t comprehend most of it. and you are able to spend just a few hours and still pass classes. do you understand how incredible that is?? i know you don’t, cause you’re always thinking you’re dumb when you’re literally not. (not to mention the fact that your brain literally makes it hard to study or sit in class or do homework, so even if you had a normal amount of time it would STILL be harder for you than it is for most people). you being in a shitty situation where you can’t dedicate the amount of time you want to to school work, doesn’t mean you’re not intelligent. the fact you’re still in school despite working essentially a full time job AND taking care of multiple children AND running a podcast AND continuing to talk to friends?? like, you don’t seem to realize how fucking spectacular that is but it really really truly is. because not only are you doing more than any one person should have to, but you’re doing each of those things so so well. literally, this is already so long and i didn’t even talk about how important you’ve been in my life or how much i love talking with you or so many other things you deserve to hear, but i’m trying to go to bed before midnight tonight so i’m gonna cut myself off. but please, abby, please do whatever you can to be neutral to yourself. i know being nice to yourself is probably too much to ask, but i just don’t like hearing you say so many terrible things about someone i love so so much. so everytime you start to think one of those self-deprecating thoughts, imagine a little boom with their water pistol going “NO ABBY’S AMAZING” cause i really hope one day you can see how incredible you really are

A random thought I have: grace and clara if you see this, i probably won’t be answering your asks yet cause i have some other things i want to do before bed. but no one is being ignored, im just bad at answering asks. (also Clara i think im ignoring yoy on multiple platforms, that’s just me being terrible at communicating. one of them was literally just me going ‘oh I’ll answer that in one second’ and now it’s been 48 hours so like. whoops. you’re probably not surprised but i do still feel bad cause i appreciate our friendship and ignoring people, intentionally or not, doesn’t exactly help portray that very much)

#ask a boomerang #abby tag #idk if this was coherent #the point was I love my friends very much #and everyone should send Abby compliments cause she’s very mean to herself and she doesn’t deserve itt

4 notes · View notes

madasthesea · 4 years

Note

I’m sorry for being so mean. I had a really bad day and didn’t mean to say such awful things. But I am frustrated my fics always get ignored, especially by the big names in the fandom such as yourself that claim to support everyone. I’ve written so many fics in this fandom and have been doing so for over a year, yet I only have 30 subscribers. I get really frustrated and feel like I’m a bad writer because everyone ignores me and my fics. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I’m sorry.

(2/2) For a fan community that claims they are inclusive, everyone sure doesn’t act that way. Everyone already has their friends and people like me who don’t have many friends get ignored. The big names in the fandom don’t support or read the fics by the new people. It’s not just me. I’ve never received a single kudo or comment from you or anyone else that’s popular like you. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong but people don’t read my fics.

Ok, I’m answering this in the middle of the night in the hopes that not a lot of people will see it so it won’t become A Thing and then as soon as this fic exchange is over I am turning my anons off forever. Anon, I guess I have to give you credit for coming to apologize, but I have to say, where before I was perfectly capable of laughing off your extremely rude message, I have to say, now I’m annoyed. Because there is not a single instance or bad day or frustration that makes what you said acceptable. You came into my inbox and threw a temper tantrum because you knew my name and I happen to have anons on unlike most of the “fandom big names.” You told me I had the worst fics in the fandom, told me I publish outlines instead of stories and accused me of writing incestual pedophilia because you had a bad day? I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re young because that is the only possible excuse I could give you. As I said in my original response, if I were already an anxious writer, you could have caused me to delete all of my fics and put me off of writing forever. Someone commented on your original message and said that they don’t post their writing because of messages like that one. You’re right you shouldn’t have taken it out on me, and you wouldn’t have if your name had been associated with it. But here we are, and I’m going to try to make it so this never happens again, at least with the two of us.

Now, onward to your frustrations. I am sorry that you aren’t getting the attention you want, but one) yelling at me on anon isn’t going to fix that. Two) not to be like callous and insensitive, but that happens to almost every writer I know. I’ve been writing fanfiction for 12 years. This is the seventh fandom I’ve written for and no one ever read my fics before this. My first year on AO3 I published six stories and had 500 views total. I get the frustration, but sometimes you just have to get the perfect combination of exposure, plot, and interest. Three) Do you have any idea how many stories get published in the Peter Parker & Tony Stark tag a day? I’m sorry, I can’t read all of them. I don’t want to read all of them, in fact I have 14 different tags blacklisted. Just because I am a “big name” does not mean I owe you a comment or a kudos. If I like your story, I will tell you. Chances are, I haven’t even seen one of your stories, because I’m an adult with a job and hobbies and writing of my own to do. Most of the “big names” are the exact same except a lot of them also have school. If you want someone to read your stories, ask them. Say “hey, I respect you and your opinion, could you look at this for me?” They will probably say yes unless they have a good reason not to. Don’t just sit there and wait for it to happen and get mad when it doesn’t. Also, this is the third time someone has yelled at me for not reading or commenting on their fics and it makes me less inclined to leave kudos in general in case someone comes and gets mad that I read their fic but didn’t comment. So uh… don’t do this again.

As for the community, do you want to know how to make friends? Send asks (nice ones) not on anon. We can’t interact with you if you don’t know who you are. Reblog our fics. Comment on our posts. You can’t make friends if no one knows you exist. And the only way to show you exist is show yourself in our notes, in our inboxes. Sitting in your corner of tumblr and being bitter isn’t going to help anyone. This fandom is welcoming and it is kind and it is supportive. You saw how many people came to my defense tonight. If you talk to those people, they’ll talk back, but they can’t reach out to every single Irondad blog, it just isn’t feasible.

And finally, how to get your fics read more. Like I said, part of it is just… luck. I got in at the very beginning, as did losingmymindtonight, parkrstark, several others, and had already established myself before IW came out and the fandom got bigger. Lucky break on my part, but I’m also a good writer because I’m 25 and I have a Master’s in a writing heavy field and I’ve been writing my entire life. Sometimes it just takes practice. But there is stuff that all good fics have in common, so here we go:

1) Good grammar, good spelling, good punctuation.

I don’t know who you are so I have no idea what your writing is like, but this is stuff I had to tell college students as a teacher, so I’m just going to go over it.

Are there line breaks between every paragraph? No? There need to be. It’s hard to read when all of the words are bunched together, meaning automatic exits will happen, regardless of content.

Do you start a new paragraph every single time a new person speaks? You should.

“When someone is speaking,” I asked, “do you put a comma before the speech tag?” Commas, not periods. Not periods then commas. Punctuation goes inside the quotation marks.

Are you writing in first or second person (I or you)? Don’t.

Pay attention to your tenses. It is very confusing reading a story that switches tenses every sentence.

Are you capitalizing the beginning of every sentence and proper noun? You have to. Reading all lowercase takes energy and concentration and readers don’t like to put more effort in than they’re used to. Also it’s just pointless.

Get a beta reader. Get grammarly (but the free version, don’t pay) or another editing service. Google anything you have a question about. EDIT YOUR WRITING.

2) New ideas

Every fandom has tropes they love, but not every fic can be a trope fic. Every fic I write is, if not completely new, a spin on a popular trope.

Yes, there are some popular field trip fics, but most of them get lost in the weeds because they are all the same. And most of the people I talk to don’t even like them. (This counts for May dies fics, sensory overload… If you’re going to write it, you have to make it different and you have to make it good.)

Look to other movies or books for ideas, check out irondad-fic-ideas, something. Write something new, something only you can write, and at least some people will notice.

3) Good characterization

Now apparently everything I write is OOC, so maybe I’m not the best person to be giving advice on this :/ (I’m still annoyed. I’m getting over it)

BUT–the best way to write a well-known character is to know the source material. Listen to the way they talk, watch how they move. Ignore fanon. It’s hard, but try. Peter isn’t actually a perpetual ray of sunshine, chatter box 12 year old like we often write him, Tony isn’t 100% sarcasm and incapable of recognizing his own feelings.

If you can hear the character say it in their actual voice, it’s probably a good line.

4) Misc.

Fandom rule of thumb: cute fluff and hardcore whump win out over deep character studies on convoluted plot lines. If you’re just looking for hits or maybe a fic to establish yourself, that’s a good way to do it.

If you’re posting a multi-chapter fic, don’t post it all at once. People will comment on each chapter as you post and you’ll get more hits.

Respond to comments, especially at the early stages. It makes your readers more invested, it builds friendships, and it makes your stats look better.

There’s a blog that supports little known writers in this fandom! Rec your fics there!

Make sure to never, ever put “I suck at summaries” or “fic is better than summary” it is an instant turnoff. If you can’t write the thing that makes me want to read the fic well, why would I think I want to read the fic?

Tagging on AO3 is vital. Tag the right relationships, tag the right emotions (angst, fluff, hurt/comfort). I often sort just by these. Always put in the category, (M/M, F/M, etc.) and the rating. There is no reason not to, but not doing so makes people less likely to read. Always tag triggers.

Never steal fics or ideas. If a story inspires you, you can ask the author if you can write something similar and then link in your story back to theirs. Nothing will make you less popular in a fandom than stealing work.

Lastly, I know authors constantly talk about how important comments and kudos are, and they are so important to bolstering spirits, I get that, but if you aren’t writing for yourself first, you will always be disappointed. You should enjoy your fic as much when you read it in your word doc as when you read it online with comments and kudos. And maybe you write really niche stuff that doesn’t appeal to a lot of people, but churning out carbon copies of the Fandom Tropes and hoping for hits is not going to satisfy you and you will keep being frustrated.

Let’s not do this again, shall we? Next time you have a question, ask me nicely.

#answered #it is 2:30 in the morning but I was so annoyed I couldn't sleep so here we go :)))))#Anonymous

139 notes · View notes

getdeatjgrops · 4 years

Text

internet boy.

shigaraki x reader one-shot

Summary: You are on a popular video chat website late at night. After many disconnects, you come across a dusty-blue haired boy. You wait for him to say “show your tits” to skip him, but strangely enough he didn’t say anything. To this, you become intrigued, and stay to chat with him.

Warnings: swearing, slight yandere tendencies.

Pairing: Tomura Shigaraki x Reader

Word Count: 4680

You yawn. You check the time on the corner of your laptops’ screen. 2 AM. Why weren’t you sleeping? Well, you were on Omegle for almost two hours, and you didn’t realize how fast the time flew by. You were bored and couldn’t sleep, so you chose to talk to strangers online who were also up late at night. Maybe you were the strange one.

You haven’t gone on Omegle for a long time, so you forgot about all the dick showing and the dudes asking to either show your tits or your ass. If you didn’t comply they’d call you a bitch and disconnect. Sometimes if you got lucky, you connected with someone sweet and you’d chat a bit until they needed to go. At least there were still some people who just wanted to talk.

You sighed as you disconnected from another penis on your screen.

If I see another dick one more time, I’m getting off.

You tapped your fingers on your laptop, waiting for someone to connect.

And someone did. It was an odd looking guy. He had shaggy light blue hair and deep, red eyes that you could hardly see. He had a tightened black hoodie, so you couldn’t see his full face; only his eyes and nose. He was leaning against a white wall behind him, and his camera only showed his torso and up. The only light was from his own screen, illuminating his face.

You furrowed a brow. He didn’t say anything, so you started typing.

You: hey

You notice his eyes move to the chat, and down to his keyboard. He started typing, and you heard the sound of the keyboard clicking. So he did have a microphone.

Stranger: what’s your name

You: (Y/N). what’s urs?

At this point, you expected him to ask something vulgar, so you hovered your mouse over the “Really?” button to disconnect if he did. But shockingly enough, didn’t.

Stranger: uh. you can call me Tom.

You smiled a bit. You found the name “Tom” funny considering the fact that maybe he was using a fake name, and to add onto your suspicion he added an “uh” in the beginning.

You: cool. i hear that u have a mic. do u wanna talk? i’m too tired to type lol

You: or do u have to be quiet because of your parents loll

You watch him read the chat, and hear a “tch” noise come out of his mouth before he aggressively starts typing.

Stranger: i can talk. but you aren’t talking, so i’m not talking. wouldn’t it be weird if i was the only one talking? weirdo.

You huff and roll your eyes. “The whole point of me asking if you want to talk is so we could talk instead of texting each other. Watch who you call a weirdo, weirdo.” You retorted. He furrowed his brows and rolled his eyes back.

“Whatever. Anyways, what time is it for you?” He asked. You noticed his voice was slightly gravelly. You squint your eyes. “Aren’t you a curious one. With the blunt questions and everything. It’s 2 at night here. You?” You smile slightly. “It’s 2 am here too. Why are you up so late?” He plays with the strings attached to his hoodie.

You sigh. “Dunno. I’m tired but can’t sleep. Why are you up so late?” You ask back. He makes his hand through his hair and hoodie and scratches his neck. “Well, I’ve been thinking about stuff, so I can’t sleep either.” You hum in response, and there’s a minute of silence between you two.

“Well, what’s on your mind then?” You ask, trying to break the awkward tension.

He grumbles. “It’s nothing. Just have a few people that I don’t like on my mind. No, hate. Deeply hate. They are terrible.” He growls, and continues scratching his neck. You frown and look at him. “Hey, don’t worry about them okay? Don’t let bullies effect you and how you feel. They’re dumb.” You comforted. You felt a bit weird comforting a person you just met online about bullies, but you really did feel sympathy for him. He probably has a hard time with them.

He looks away and nods slowly. “Yeah.. bullies..” He stops scratching his neck and puts his hand down. He looks back at the camera. “Do you have anything we can talk on?”

You giggle. “We’re talking on something already, idiot.” To that, he just looks at the screen with an annoyed look. “I’m just playing. Here’s my instagram. Or, if you prefer-“

“Instagram is fine.” He cuts you off, seconds after pulling out his phone and searching up the username you put in the chat. You pressed your lips together, and pull out your phone yourself.

tomxrxow.s has requested to follow you!

“So, Tom.. your name is an abbreviation of Tomorrow?” You ask, quietly chuckling as you accept the follow request. “Uh, sure.” He mumbled. You requested to follow him back, and in an instant he accepted. You notice he has no posts and the only people he follows is a few pro heroes and you. He only has about 20 followers too. You found it slightly uncomfortable, considering that you had a few posts of you and a couple hundred followers. You look back at the screen and see him holding his phone up and moving it to look at you.

“Hm, you’re kind of weird looking right now compared to your posts.” He shows one of your posts of you in a restaurant. You looked pretty in that photo, until you realized that he insulted you. You gasped and furrowed your brows. “Hey!” You pouted. He smirked and put his phone down. “I’m just ‘playing.’” He says, quoting you from earlier. You squint your eyes and scoff, but silently smile to yourself. You like this guy.

“Well, you got my instagram, so we could chat more. I’m feeling kind of tired, so I’ll text you tomorrow morning okay?” You smile. He sighs through his nose. “Alright, good night.” He puts up a backwards peace sign. “Don’t let the villains bite.” You roll your eyes, and to that, you disconnect and shut your laptop.

What a strange guy.

You lay down and close your eyes, and soon enough you drift to sleep.

—

You stir your cereal, waiting for Tom to finish typing.

You and him have gotten close the past 3 weeks. He was quite nice to talk to. He talked about his problems, and you talk about yours. I think it’s safe to say that you guys were great friends, and were there for each other. Not in real life, but through each other’s screen. And you were okay with that.

txmxrxow.s: i haven’t got much sleep last night.

You: ahh well you should go to sleep earlier today!

You smile to yourself. You and Tom stood up late at night talking. Sometimes you guys would call, sometimes you guys chose to just text. In the beginning of your friendship with him, you guys first went from talking for an hour, to a few hours, to the whole night. You found him interesting. The way he talked, what he talked about.. he was just nice to talk to.

txmxrxow.s: but i want to talk to youu :’(

Your heart fluttered as you read his text message. You smile goofily.

You: and i want to talk to you too! but if you don’t go to sleep early then you might just fall asleep while we’re talking, and i’ll get worried that you’re not responding. how about this, we can talk all day today and you can go to sleep tonight so we could talk tomorrow. deal?

You sigh happily. You haven’t had someone to talk to this much in a long time. The world is in a middle of a pandemic; it’s not like you can go out and hang out with your friends when everyone is in quarantine. You walk to your living room with the bowl of cereal in your hand and put it on the coffee table. You sit down on your couch, and turn on the TV. You put a spoonful of cereal in your mouth and lean back to watch what the news is for today.

“Breaking news. The League of Villains attacked the city unexpectedly last night! Heroes came late due to the fact that it was at 4 am. But thankfully, we can never not trust our strong heroes! They were close to defeat, but they struck back with all their might, leaving the villains running away! Thank you for your service Pro-Heroes, for keeping us and the city safe!”

The T.V showed footage from a helicopter above of the villains running away into a dark alley. They all disappear as they enter a purple portal one of the villains created. The camera then showed the pro heroes panting in exhaustion, walking away from the scene like it was nothing. You couldn’t blame them, it was late at night- they were tired. They weren’t willing to have an interview this late.

txmxrxow.s: Did you see the news? Smh. Pro heroes this, pro heroes that. It’s getting tiring.

You take another bite of cereal and pick up your phone to reply.

You: Yeah, but at least they keep us safe. And on that note, im glad you’re safe, but I mean we were literally up at that time just texting each other lmaooo

txmxrxow.s: haha, yeah :)

You pick up the remote control and switch the channel to something else. You were getting tired of hearing about villains and heroes all the time too.

You: anyways, i’m bored. wanna call?

txmxrxow.s: sure

You: i mean like, video call? we haven’t video called since omegle lolol

txmxrxow.s: hmm.. nah.

You frown. Didn’t he just say sure a few seconds ago?

txmxrxow.s: but i miss your cute little face. so, get on discord.

You blush and furrow your brows. Who does this guy think he is?! You huff, and pull out your laptop and open discord. Seconds after, you receive a call from Tom and accept it.

“Hello. Guess you couldn’t resist my cute ass face.” You teased. He chuckles in response, and turned on his camera. Again, he’s wearing a black tightened hoodie, so you could only see his eyes and nose, along with his messy light blue hair. “I really couldn’t.” He responded flatly. You blush and roll your eyes. “Shut up.” You grin.

You and him talked about random things. You would occasionally take a bite of your cereal, and he would snap a photo before you eat the spoonful of Froot Loops. “Hey!! Delete that!” You pleaded, covering your mouth full of milk and cereal with your hand. He laughed in response, showing his phones’ screen to the camera, which was the photo of you about to put the spoon in your mouth. You swallowed the food in your mouth and crossed your arms. “Not funny! I’m turning off my camera.” You huffed, and turned off the camera.

“Nooo! Come back!” He pleaded, exaggerating the “No.” You laughed, and turned on your camera just as fast as you turned it off. Needless to say, you enjoyed talking to Tom.

—

You and Tom were on call for the past five hours. You didn’t get bored of his company, and although your laptop was heating up, you wanted to stay.

“Hm.. say,” He started. You hummed back. “What’s up?” You didn’t lift your eyes from your phone. You were scrolling through your instagram feed and occasionally were sending Tom funny cat photos and videos.

“Do you want to meet up?” Your heart skipped a beat. You looked at your laptops’ screen with wide eyes. “Now?” You ask. He shrugged, twirling his hoodie string between his finger. “Sure. Or, if you want we could meet up later this week. Or later tonight, so there isn’t much people, especially with the whole virus thing going on.” You nod.

Should you go today? Later tonight? I mean, he seems pretty real to you. And you really liked talking to him. You liked him in general.

“I um, have to talk to you about something too.” He said, slightly choking on his words. Your heart rushes. You look at the time on your phone. 3 pm. Wow, time flew by fast.

“Sure. Let’s meet up at 10 pm.” You smile. He sighed in relief. “Okay, cool. I’m.. excited to see you.” He blushed. Your heart continued pounding against your chest and you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’m excited too.” You guys sat in silence, scrolling through your phones. You gulped, feeling uncomfortable.

God, why is everything so much more awkward now?! It’s fine. You’ll meet each other, and talk. It’ll be your first time seeing each other in real life, and it’ll be fine.

You turn to your laptop screen. “Well, my laptop is heating up really badly, so I’m gonna go. We can still text if you want.” You put your index finger on the trackpad, hovering it over the hang up button. “Alright, see you soon.” He puts his phone down and waves. You smile and make a silly face before hanging up. You needed to get ready, even though it was only 3 pm.

— *Time skip to 10 pm*

You didn’t want to appear to extra and flashy on the first time meeting, so you went with an oversized (F/C) sweatshirt and jeans. You let your hair down, and put on mascara. Your heart was beating loudly. You were excited, but nervous. What did he want to talk about? You had an idea, but you dismissed it.

You heard a notification go off and checked your phone.

txmxrxow.s: let’s meet over here.

After he sent that text, he sent a photo of a building that you passed by occasionally.

You: okay. see you soon! ^^

You smile to yourself. You breathe in and out to calm yourself. You turn off the lights and put your phone in your pocket. You grab a mask and put in on your face, and put on latex gloves. You shut the door behind you and start walking towards the direction of the building. You decided to listen to music to calm yourself.

What a weird coincidence that you met a person on Omegle that lived in the same country as you. Matter of fact, in the same city as you. You couldn’t believe it. And you fell in love with him? Truly strange. But, you don’t hate it. You smile happily. You realize that you shouldn’t be nervous. You guys have been talking for three weeks. He was comfortable with you, and you were comfortable with him. You guys were friends.

You hummed to the song that was currently on, and you noticed that you were close to the place you guys were meeting up at. You just had to cross this street and you’ll be there. You patted your hands on your jeans, realizing how sweaty they got from you being anxious. The street sign turned to a walking figure, and you slowly crossed.

You took out the earphones in your ears, and put them in your jean pocket. You squeeze your hands into fists as you see a figure a few yards away from you wearing a black hoodie. He was facing the other way, but you noticed that they were on their phone. You decided to walked up to them. This was Tom, it had to be. You looked at the building next to the figure. Yep, it is Tom.

You walk until you’re a few feet away from him.

“T-Tom?” You let out, almost as silent as a squeak. Their head looks up, and they slowly turn around. Your eyes made eye contact with their deep, red eyes. Their shaggy light blue hair was sticking out of their hoodie, and they had the strings tied together like you’ve seen on video call.

You smiled in joy, and went to wrap your arms around him. You pressed your face on their chest. He slightly stepped back, not expecting you to do that. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around you, careful not to touch you with all five of his fingers on each hand.

“(Y/N), you came.” He smiled, sighing. He didn’t want this moment to end; and neither did you. You moved your head up to look up at him. He was looking back down at you. “Are you always in these clothes? You have the same exact outfit from when we called on Omegle and video called today.” You teased, furrowing your brows. He grunted in response, and rolled his eyes.

“Haha, so funny. No, I don’t. But, I wanted to meet you because I wanted to talk to you about something.” You unwrapped your arms from him and slightly stepped back. You put your arms behind you and tapped the floor with the tip of your shoe. “What did you want to talk about?” You had a faint blush on your cheeks. He rubbed the top of head awkwardly and looked to the side.

“Well.. I know it’s only been three weeks but..” He started, taking a deep breath. You felt your heart beating loudly against your chest. You rubbed your lips together. You fidgeted with your hands. This is it.

“I feel like I’m the most comfortable with you. You let me talk about my problems and you help me with them. I calm down when you’re talking to me. After ending our calls at night, I wouldn’t be able to get you out of my mind.”

You felt your blush grow redder, and your breathing gradually increased. He’s doing it. He’s doing it.

“You’re.. simply to say.. the best thing that has happened to me. Nobody has acted this way to me besides you. Life makes sense when I’m talking to you.” He blushes, and grabs your shoulders. His pinkys don’t touch you. You widened your eyes at this, not expecting him to do that suddenly. You look at his eyes in a daze, feeling your heart almost explode out of your chest.

“(Y/N).. I..” He swallows, his throat dry.

“I love you.”

He finishes it at that, and there’s a silence. You blink, feeling fireworks explode in your stomach. You slowly smile. You raise your arm and move your hand through his hair and hoodie to his cheek. “Tom.. I love you too.” You felt your legs shake. Honestly, you never felt this way about anyone. So why do you feel this way with someone you met online? You didn’t know, but you didn’t feel bad.

He moves one of his hands towards his hoodie strings, and pulls them so they untie. His hoodie loosens, and you finally see his lips. They were chapped, colorless. Scarred. But you smiled. He moved towards you and placed his lips on yours. You close your eyes slowly. Carefully, he moves his hand down to your back, and pulls you closer. You felt yourself going crazy. You moved your free hand and placed it on his shoulder gently. Both of you deepened the kiss, feeling the passion between each other.

After a few seconds, you guys moved away from each other. You breathed silently while you stared at each others eyes. He smiled at you, but then his smile slowly went away. He sighed, and looked down.

“(Y/N), There’s something else I need to tell you.”

You look at him confused, but you still smile. “Yes, Tom? You could tell me anything.”

He lets go of your body and squeezes your hands in his hands. They were cold. “Will.. will you look at me differently? Will you still love me?”

Taken back by this, you didn’t know what to say. “Of.. Of course I will still love you. We’ve come this far, why would I stop loving you?” You ran your hand across his arm, trying to reassure him. He sighed, and suddenly looked up at you in all serious.

“My name is Shigaraki Tomura.” He spoke. “I’m.. the leader of the League of Villains.”

Your eyes went wide. Your whole body froze. You slightly squeezed your hand on his arm.

Leader of the villain league? Him? How? You couldn’t believe it. The same person you talked to about problems you believed to be normal; were just problems of a villain?

He noticed your fear, and his eyes went wide. He grabbed your shoulders, looking at you in panic. “You still love me right? You won’t leave me, will you? You know I love you right? I would never do anything bad to you.” He tried reassuring you, shaking you slightly.

You couldn’t help but be startled by him now. The same person you called insults and teased, could’ve easily lost control and killed you? Right now, you in the grip of his hands; if he lands his pinkies on you, you’re done for.

Do you still love him? You thought to yourself. Just the other night, he went out and attacked the city with his league of villains. That was the same night you guys were texting. You believed that he was at home, in his bed, just texting you. You couldn’t believe this.

“Tom... ura...” You choked. You realized that Tom wasn’t a fake name. It wasn’t an abbreviation of tomorrow. You gulped. Were you in his hands of delusion all along? Since the beginning?

Shigaraki gritted his teeth. “Please... (Y/N).. I’ll- I’ll change for you! I promise! Please.. me meeting you is possibly the most life changing thing that has happened to me. For the better! I love you so much! I would die for you!! I would disband the League of Villains for you! If- If you want, I’ll just kill them instead! The world could be in peace! (Y/N)-“

“Tom. Err.. Tomura. Listen.. this is a lot to take in right now. So please, just calm down. I don’t know your intentions, and I just can’t believe that... you’re a villain.” You let out, frowning. You looked down at the concrete below your feet, debating with yourself. What do you say next? Now knowing his true identity, you felt that if you say something wrong, you’re done for.

You squeezed his hands. Suddenly, you wrapped your arms around him, squeezing his hoodie between you hands. “Just please... change for me. Stop..” You blinked back your tears.

“Stop killing people.”

You heard his breath hitch, and he slowly wrapped his arms around you. “(Y/N).. I love you.” You closed your eyes. This is real life. The guy you met online, someone you felt was a normal person, turned out to be a villain.

You felt him move your hair away and moved it over your shoulder with his fingers. You looked up at him. He had an indescribable facial expression.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry. Just know I love you. But this is for our safety.” You furrow your brows in confusion, until you felt a sharp sting on the side of your neck. You widened your eyes. “Tomura..” You felt drowzy. An injection. You looked at him one final time, reading pain on his face. “I love you.” He said once again, but his voice was muffled. You felt darkness consume your vision, and fell onto your knees.

—

Leather. Your wrists were binded together with leather. You slowly opened your eyes, blinking to adjust to the light.

You slowly realized that your chest and your feet were binded against the chair you were sitting on as well. Your mind felt fuzzy, and you felt sick. Where am I?

“Aww, look guys! Shigarakis little girlfriend is starting to wake up!” You hear a girls voice. What is going on? You look up slowly. You see many figures. There were men, and distinctly one girl. You blinked a few more times to adjust your vision, and you looked to the back of the room. You felt your memories slowly start to come back as your eyes landed on Tomura. You widened your eyes, and felt tears run down your face. Tomura had his villain costume on, the hand on his face making it harder to see what his face looks like.

He got up and walked towards you. Fear pulsing through you, you kicked and pushed- trying to get out of the chair. Your quirk wasn’t much help, so you felt hopeless. Trying to fight back was your only option right now. Tomura bent over and put his hands on your shoulders. You rapidly shook your head. “Don’t touch me! Get off me!! You lied to me, you lied to me!! You never loved me!! You lied.. you want to kill me!” You screamed hysterically. More tears ran down your face. You weeped, noticing that Tomura hasn’t done anything yet. His pinkies were up like last time, and he didn’t harm you yet.

You sniffled. “Why.. why are you doing this?” You whimpered. He took one hand off your shoulder and carefully took off the plastic hand that was on his face. He was unreadable. Is he regretting what he is doing? Is he angry at you? Or does he simply not care at all and is just waiting for you to stop fighting so he could kill you already? He stands up straight and turns to the other villains. “Leave. We need privacy.” He demanded. They nodded, and with that, the villains walked out and left. Where? You don’t know. He turned back to you and put his hands back on your shoulders. You gulped in fear, feeling your breathing quicken.

“Wh-What do you want, Tomura.” You choked, sniffling. He frowned, and sighed. “(Y/N), I’m doing this for your safety and mine. If I just let you go after telling you who I am, you could’ve easily told the police about your connection with me, and they could use that to their advantage to track me down and arrest me. And we can’t have that, can we?” He stood up straight and walked to the wall to the right.

“And for your safety, if someone saw us talking, they would take the chance of kidnapping you themselves. They would try to get info from you and use you to their advantage.” He turns to look at you. You were still silently crying. You bit your bottom lip in anxiousness, until you heard footsteps from him walking towards you. You widened your eyes and quickly shut them, afraid of what is going to happen next.

You felt him cup your cheek softly with his hand. You flinched, realizing you lost all trust for him. “S-Stop..” You whisper. He frowns. He crossed his arms. “(Y/N). Look at me.” You didn’t comply, and still had your eyes closed. He furrowed his brows, frustrated. He banged his fist on the arm rest next to you, making you jump. “Look at me goddamnit!” He yelled. You looked at him with fear in your eyes. He widened his eyes slightly. He didn’t want to scare you. He just wanted you to understand. He softened his eyes and sighed in frustration. He pinched the bridge of his nose and continued looking at you.

“Look. I never lied to you. I still love you, (Y/N). Truly, I do. I meant everything I said in my, err, confession as you may call it. But things are too dangerous right now. I can’t change for you just yet. You understand that right?” You looked down in hopelessness. “I hope you can realize soon enough that what I’m doing is protecting you. Trust me, I won’t let the rest of the villains lay a single hand on you. I’ll treat you with good care.”

He held your chin up with his index finger, and you looked up at him in defeat. He smiled gently. “Alright princess?” --

My first fanfic in a while!! Hope you enjoyed! Hopefully there is more to come ;) this was requested by my amazing friend @crabziee-writez <3!

#shigaraki x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #yandere shigaraki x reader #bnha fanfiction #boku no hero fanfic #boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha angst #bnha x reader #mha x reader #mha #mha x y/n #bnha x y/n #bnha imagines #my hero academia #mha fanfiction #bnha x you #bnha shigaraki #x reader

69 notes · View notes

staylovehearts · 4 years

Text

Enough?

Lee Felix x Reader

Word Count ~3.9 k

Summary: You never wanted Felix to find out that the fans he loves so much can be so cruel.

Tags: angst, hate comments, self-doubts, Felix is an idol in this one, and you’re like his not so secret girlfriend, the company is chill but the fans aren’t, mentions of other stray kids members

It's a simple routine. As you unlock your phone you immediately swipe away about twenty different notifications from different social media accounts without even looking at them. You are not even sure why you even still bother with an Instagram and all of that. Maybe you should just go private again. Or delete everything. But that would feel like defeat. Like giving up. So instead you just try to not look at the mean words people are spouting at you on the daily. When it first started you still tried to report every single comment. Blocked every person who insulted you. But once the comments became too many to count you gave up on that as well.

But it's fine. Ignore them all. Swipe it away. Don't look at it. Focus on the nice comments. The people that spammed flame emojis under your recent Instagram selfie. The ones leaving nice comments and replies. Or at least those, that seem neutral. The ones that like to joke around or post memes. Damn, even the people that drop Loona fancams under your tweets are bearable.

But you can ignore them all for the sake of the one message that you actually want to read.

cuddly coala boy: are you going to be watching me later tonight?? i hope you're not mad that i had to cancel our skype date because of this :((

The text came at exactly 4:35 in the morning. Well, 4:35 in the morning in your timezone. That means for him it must have been... wait, what's the time difference again? Where even is he right now? You are too lazy to actually look up timezones right now to properly calculate the difference, but you decide to assume that it was a reasonable time. Well, at least you hope it was fairly reasonable. With the way his schedule works it's not unusual for him to send you messy texts full of typos past midnight when he is exhausted from a day of dance practice and vocal training and he just fell into bed after a quick shower and decided to send you a short text, already half asleep. It's also not rare for him to text you early in the morning. When he is on his way to his first schedule of the day. Early in the morning, but already buzzing with energy and excitement. Sometimes he'd send pictures of his breakfast and gush about the organic canteen. In summer he sent you a picture of the sunrise almost every morning. Because in summer the sun rises so early, that most people sleep through this daily spectacle of nature. But those that are woken up at five in the morning – even earlier on some days – never miss out on a sunrise. And you get to see those pictures of the sunrise in a different country, mostly after you've already missed the sunrise in your own location. Most of the pictures weren't even that special, some of them even too blurry to make out more than washed-out colours and the rough outlines of buildings. On some mornings the sky was too cloudy to show more than a lighter stripe of colour beneath a layer of grey and blue. But even on those days, Felix made it a point to show you the sunrise. And you have all of those pictures saved. Because you are just so goddamn whipped for this sunshine of a boy who sends you pictures of the actual sun every morning alongside a happy good morning text.

I'm not mad at all!! I know that work comes first, I'm sure we'll be able to make up for that skype date, have fun later, I might join when I have the time, but you know how the vlive times sometimes don't work with the timezones :/

It takes you a good fifteen minutes or so until you have finally typed up a reply that you are actually confident sending. You don't want to show that you are actually upset. You don't want to make him feel bad for having to cancel your plans. But it's probably obvious that you feel a little bitter about this. You were understanding the first few times this happened. And of course, you are still understanding. You knew that things would probably be like this. But it's becoming harder to hide your disappointment with every skype call that has to be moved to a different date. Every delayed reply. Every day that passes with just a few short messages being sent back and forth during water breaks.

But you know what you signed up for when you not only agreed on trying this long distance relationship, but trying it with an idol on top of the insane timezone difference.

Seeing the friendly kid you used to go to school with on television was already a weird experience. But finding out that he had become a K-Pop star felt like some kind of fever dream. To be completely honest you didn't even know what K-Pop was until you heard Felix – and his bandmate Chan – talk about it on national television. Your mother had called you downstairs in a frenzy to make you watch the special report. When you got there she was pointing at the screen excitedly, asking you over and over look, look, isn't this a boy you used to go to school with? Did you know that he's famous in Korea now? Isn't this crazy? You could certainly agree with her on that last question. To make a long story short, you spent pretty much the rest of that day – and most of the following week – researching every available bit of information about this K-Pop thing and the group your school friend was now part of. You listened to and downloaded their entire discography within one day. Watched every music video and memorised the member's faces within hours. And in the following days, you went through every vlive video and any other content you could find. Saying you were hooked would have been an understatement.

The thought of reaching out to Felix hadn't crossed your mind until maybe two weeks into your newly discovered obsession. It was a suggestion by a friend who you had a couple of courses together with. She had brought the idea up completely nonchalantly as if just hitting up a celebrity is a thing you do every other day. When you expressed that sentiment she just shrugged as if to say dunno, but weren't you friends with him?

Well, she wasn't really wrong about that. But she also wasn't really right. Sure, Felix and you went to school together. You had classes together for three years and you saw him pretty much every other day. But you were never super close to him. Felix was just that kind of person that everyone was on good terms with. He'd sit down at a different table at lunch every day, nerds and jocks were equally welcoming of him. Everyone likes having Felix around, but he wasn't insanely popular either. If someone would have asked about Felix the most common answer would have been something along the lines ah yeah, that guy, he's really nice, we don't really hang out outside of school though. That was just the kind of relationship almost everyone had with him, the kid you'd do group projects or share a lunch table with but not necessarily your first pick when you wanted to put together a group for karaoke that weekend. So Felix and you weren't really friends. You remember being in a group project with him once and for maybe a month or so he even was your lab partner until the seats were switched but that's pretty much it. Maybe you had a bit of a fleeting crush on him back then. Most girls had. The freckles dusting his cheeks and the big brown eyes gave him something adorable and his sunny personality matched that all too well. But back then as well you never considered acting on those feelings and years later you had almost completely forgotten about them altogether.

Tracking him down was hard, but easier than you thought it would be. Of course, the old phone number you managed to find in some inactive group chat didn't work anymore. And any social media you ever knew he had was deactivated. But somehow – through a friend of a friend of an acquaintance – you managed to get in contact with him again. And you immediately remembered what you had liked about Felix back then. Talking to him was as easy as ever. Somehow texting him didn't feel like talking to a celebrity, but just casually catching up with an old friend from school. Texting every once in a while turned into chatting almost daily. Then the phone calls started. Late-night rambling, one of you always tired from the time zone difference. The first face time call was an accident – at least that's what Felix told you – but the second wasn't. And neither was the twentieth. You've lost count at this point.

The status of your relationship with Felix has been a mystery to you for the longest time. It was clear to you that that little fleeting crush you used to have had come back at ten times the intensity and you were pretty sure that Felix must at least enjoy talking to you enough to stay up way past the time where he should go to sleep at. But even with mutual feelings, there were more than enough stones in your way. Him being a celebrity and the several hour time difference plus living in different countries are probably some of the most obvious trials.

Let's just say it worked... somehow. Is still working. Even if it's tough sometimes. You've seen Felix a total of three times since making it official and all of these were just for a couple of days at most. There's always schedules he has to attend, filming to be done. Your schedules don't match up at all, he has so little free time that you have no other choice than to arrange yourself around it. Make amends. Compromise.

That's not really the problem here. The official part of the whole making it official is actually the root of all evil. Surprisingly enough Felix's company actually allowed him to make an official statement regarding his relationship status and confirming that he was indeed seeing someone. Of course, you were never mentioned by name. But someone somewhere must have taken a picture of you and him meeting up that one time. And someone else must have somehow identified you on that picture and shared your Instagram. And twitter. And pretty much any other public social media you had at that point. All of that within an hour of the announcement being made. You never openly confirmed or denied any "rumours" - or maybe accusations is the more fitting term here – about you and Felix dating. But you didn't have to. They knew enough to hate you for "stealing" him away from them. Of course, not all of them hate you. Some are actually supportive of the relationship. Though that's definitely only because they support Felix and want to see him happy, not because anyone really cares about your hurt feelings here. Then there's also a couple of fans that just ignore the whole thing entirely. According to them, it's all just rumours and there is no way that Felix is actually seeing someone. Don't you know he's a sweet gay baby, uwu? He's actually dating [insert whoever they ship him with here]. At least these comments can be kind of entertaining to read. Sometimes. You've scrolled past entire think pieces and page-long analysis of the smallest interactions turned into super definite proof that there is more going on between those two band members behind the scenes. They are delusional, but at least they are mostly harmless.

And then there are people who just straight-up hate you. And maybe that group is not actually as big as it seems but they are loud. So goddamn loud. And they are mean. You have switched accounts, gone private, deleted and remade. Everything in a desperate attempt to hide from the comments. But they always find you somehow. There is no escape.

A new notification pops up on your phone, you try not to look at it as you delete it but you catch enough of a glimpse to get the gist of it.

You're not good enough... you don't deserve to be with him... you should just do him a favour and break up, he's probably just to nice to do it himself.

It's always the same, you've read it hundreds of times, in every possible phrasing and variation. The bad thing though, you're starting to believe that they might actually be right.

The vlive is happening around noon in your time, which is at least kind of reasonable compared to other times that you have set an alarm to watch some kind of stream or award show or anything similar. You actually don't really want to watch, at least not for your own entertainment. Watching these things for yourself has kind of stopped working after... well yeah, after all that's going on. But you know that Felix would be happy, knowing that you are watching him. So maybe you'll tune in for a bit during your lunch break. Just long enough to take a screenshot and send it to him alongside a short text telling him that you are watching the live and that you really aren't mad. You aren't mad. Just scared.

You click the notification as soon as it appears on your phone. One of the few notifications you are actually happy to receive. The app takes a moment to load and by the time the stream is actually playing it's already flooded with viewers. But the picture is not moving. Or at least the three boys in the frame aren't moving. But you notice something in the background, maybe some kind of curtain, being moved by a breeze. Still, the trio keeps up their game for another few seconds until they all break out into wide grins and start talking. Felix is sitting in the middle, wedged in between Jisung and Hyunjin. The three of them are sitting behind a table that has various playthings scattered on the polished hardwood surface. You spot a box filled with Jenga pieces, next to a card game and a rubik’s cube. You take a couple of screenshots and tap out to send one of them to Felix, of course he won't see it right now but you want to prove that you were actually watching live. When you open the stream again they are already building up the Jenga tower while joking around with each other. Even though you didn't plan to stick around you watch them play games and talk for a while. It's nice. You can almost imagine yourself sitting in a room with them, laughing, cracking jokes and enjoying yourself. You can almost imagine being this close to Felix. Both physically close enough to be in a room with him as well as close enough for him to introduce you to his friends and be allowed to hang out with the group. It's almost in your reach. Almost perfect. Almost.

Felix is messing with the rubik’s cube, trying to solve it after he has insisted for minutes that he knows how it's done, Hyunjin is stopping the time on his phone while Jisung is going through the comments. You yourself haven't dared to take a look at them yet. Even here you aren't save. Most of the time they are flying by so fast that you can't even finish reading one before the next one jumps into vision.

Where is-

can you say hi to-

omg i-

notice me ple-

Most of it is short comments like this, some are just emojis (mostly every different kind of heart there is), wild key smashing and a plethora of "i love you"s in different languages. But some stick out. Some are different. The username is the first thing you notice about that one specific comment.

felix's_girlfriend

When you first made your account you thought about claiming that name for yourself. Just as a joke. But it was already taken. And so was felix's_wife, ilovefelix, freckleslover or any other possibility you could think of. Even when you started adding numbers to the names you couldn't get them. There are at least fifteen people using some variation on Felix's girlfriend as their username. You stopped trying after that.

Jisung probably spots the comment about at the same time as you did.

"Yo, someone with the username felix's_girlfriend just asked when you will finally do a dance cover of the latest Twice song", he says. Or at least something along the lines. You practised Korean to be able to at least get the gist of what's going on when they are talking, but you can't always understand everything. But you sure do understand the way Felix's head just whips up. Like that of a puppy delighted to see its owner coming back home.

"She's watching?", he asks. This time you understand clearly. Jisung looks back at him for a moment, a mixture of shock and surprise on his face. Felix isn't supposed to talk about you. Not here.

"It's just that person's username", he answers, after a moment of silence. Felix's bright smile drops for a moment, but then he nods his head and laughs as if someone just made an amazing joke. The boys continue talking about the Twice comeback and other promotions that are currently going on as if nothing happened. Hyunjin rambles about Got7 while Jisung jokes about how Seungmin is probably really excited about Day6. But the people in the comments are not willing to let go of what happened quite as easily.

I hope that bitch just disappears someone writes. Felix should break up with her, she's not good enough. You can't pretend to not notice it any longer. And maybe the boys noticed too, at least they don't read out any other comments after that one. But you don't really stick around for that long after. You are clearly not welcome here.

The thing is, that you never wanted to drag Felix into this mess. Of course, he is already a part of it, but you didn't want to let him see all of the ugly things that they are saying about you two. Well, in the end it's mostly you they are mad at. Some fans have commented that they are mad or disappointed that Felix would date someone, but they don't say the same things about him that they say about you. And you're glad. You wouldn't wish this on anyone. Especially not Felix, who is always so bright and full of love for his fans. You know that he loves that. He's said it numerous times. And even when he doesn't say it with words, it's obvious. He says it with the way he always smiles and waves at the camera, with all that he pours into performances, with the energy and passion he gives. He loves them.

Felix has never said the l-word to you.

Your phone rings about three hours later. You are hesitant to pick up when you see his name light up on the screen, but you don't want to lead him to believe that you are mad at him or anything.

"Hey there, why are you calling? Isn't it the middle of the night where you are?" You try to make your voice sound cheerful. Like you are a little surprised that he is calling you at that time but all in all happy that he is calling you. Confused, but a pleasant kind of surprise. You're probably not all that convincing, but maybe it's enough since this is just a phone call. Not even video this time.

"Ah, I just wanted to check in on you", Felix replies. His voice sounds a little bit drowsy. A soft kind of deep rumble. Bedroom voice, but not the sexy kind. The soft I'm about to curl up and fall asleep voice. You've heard that before, fell asleep to that soft voice talking to you over the phone. For a moment you almost crack. You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes, but you blink them away quickly.

"Oh, I'm fine, just got back home a while ago, going to make myself some food soon. How was your day, did that live go well?"

"Hmm, did you watch it?"

"Oh, just for a bit. I was... busy." Somehow you feel guilty saying it like that. Sure, you did only watch maybe about half of it. You told him in advance that you probably wouldn't watch the whole thing. But you have a feeling that there is a reason he is asking. And you are purposely avoiding it. Felix stays silent for a moment, maybe hesitant to bring it up himself. And for a moment you hope that he just won't. That you can both pretend that everything is alright and just joke around like usual. When he finally does speak his voice sounds so sad.

"There were some... not so nice comments about you. Did you see them?"

You consider lying but you don't see the point in it. He probably knows that you have seen them.

"Yeah."

"Do they often say things like that to you?"

"... yeah."

"That's... awful. I'm so sorry."

You take a deep breath. You really never wanted him to find out about how cruel the fans he loves so much can really get. Of course he knew that not everyone approved of him having a relationship and of course he's seen some of the gossip articles that the tabloids write about you. But what the fans say behind the protection of anonymity is so much worse than that.

"It's not your fault", you mutter finally. You can hear Felix take a deep breath as well.

"You don't- you don't believe what they say, do you? You know that I would never break up with you just like that. You are enough. More than I could ever ask for."

You aggressively blink your eyes a couple of times and tilt back your head. You don't want to cry. It always becomes obvious in your voice when you start crying and you really don't want to worry him any more.

"I know, but it's nice to hear. Thank you."

There's noises in the background. Some loud clatter, like dishes falling over and then several voices talking over each other. You haven't thought about it yet but Felix must be calling you from the dorm. There is the sound of a door being opened, a little noise of surprise and then it's being shut close again. Probably someone looking for Felix.

"You should probably hang up soon", you mumble. Not because you want him to, but because you know that the longer this goes on the harder it will be for you to not burst into tears.

"I guess. I'll call you again tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, I'd like that very much."

"Great then... good night."

"Goodnight."

"Hey, (y/n), I love you."

"I love you too, Felix."

#stray kids #stray kids writing #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenario #lee felix #felix #lee felix x reader #felix x reader #lee felix fluff #lee felix fanfic #lee felix imagine #lee felix scenario #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst

200 notes · View notes