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mostly-marvel-musings · 4 years

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Guilty Pleasure

A/N: No real plot here, just a platonic imagine with the Asgardian Gods! Feedback’s appreciated as always! :))

Pairing: Platonic Loki x Platonic Thor x Reader

Warning: Strong language.

Word count: 1718

"Alright (Y/N), time to get out of there." Steve’s stern voice came in through your comms.

You looked around briefly before returning your gaze to the computer screen in front of you which was currently transferring all of it’s hidden files to your connected external drive.

"Nearly done Captain. I need two minutes." you replied, pleading that the security camera’s would stay deactivated for just a few more minutes.

"Your cover’s about to be blown up (Y/L/N). Get out. Now." Steve sounded worried, authoritative and gentle all at once.

"Look I’m almost done, it’ll be done in the next two min-"

"It’s an order (Y/N). If you’re not out in thirty seconds, we leave without you."

Steve concluded before cutting the line. There was no bargaining after that.

You grumbled a few curse words as the Captain was no longer on line, before pulling the drive out abruptly halting its file transfer midway, and made your way outside where the quinjet stood waiting.

As you made it inside, Clint took off immediately and Nat approached you, knowing you’d be pissed off.

"You were good (Y/N), don't beat yourself up. We’ll get the info by some other means." She reassured.

"Yeah well that wasn't the mission Nat. Couldn’t have just two fucking minutes could I? I swear I would’ve got it. Just-"

Your rant was interrupted by Steve walking in.

"You did what you could (Y/N). Not worth getting caught in the process. There’s always a next time." Steve said offering you a pat on the back and a smile. The eternal optimist.

"I’m sorry Cap." was all you managed to say as you walked past them, disappointed in yourself, and sat on the chair next to Clint, pulling the seat belt on while keeping your eyes out the window.

The rest of the journey back home was pretty silent. You tried your best not to punch something out of frustration and Nat tried her best to distract you.

It would’ve been so much easier if Cap would’ve allowed Loki to accompany you. His illusions would have made the job so much easier. But Captain being Captain, thought he was better off handling other worldly things with his brother.

Contrary to popular belief, you and Loki had always worked well together. He was starting to gel well with the team. You had a special connection with both the brothers.

The initial intimidation had worn off quickly when you found out how thoughtful and considerate they really were. They were super protective of you, but also knew you could hold your own.

Maybe the reason y’all were such great friends was the sheer dissimilarities of your lives that made for endless conversations.

You were supposed to hang out together tonight for your weekly “Midgard movie nights” as Thor called it, but they had Asgardian business to take care of.

Which meant you were free to do whatever the hell you wanted, however the hell you wanted. You didn't get days like these often, and when you did you’d either spend time with Loki, or Nat - your best mate in the team, or sparring with Steve in the gym, working on your combat skills. You figured you’d make the most of your alone time.

...

The brothers had made it back earlier than they thought, which gave Loki some time to prep for your designated movie night. He had dragged his brother along to help, who agreed immediately when Loki mentioned “movie treats”. They really wanted to do something special considering you were always the one hosting these nights, complete with delicious food and drinks.

“How about pop tarts?” Thor asked pointing to the box of strawberry pop tarts lying in your top shelf, you weren't much of a sweet tooth but you kept those for Thor as he loved them too much.

“We cannot eat those ridiculous sweets as a meal brother. We need something more substantial.” Loki was mildly irritated at this point as his brother wasn't being of any help.

“What if we cook something?”

“And light (Y/N)’s kitchen on fire in the process? Never. I would very much still like to be her friend Thor.”

Loki thought for a minute before he remembered you mentioning something about Italian cuisine being your favorite.

“What are those round breads with cheese and what not that your precious team keeps ordering? (Y/N) seems to love them right?” he asked; he wasn't always around to eat dinners with the team and do the whole bonding thing, but Thor was. And he had comparatively spent more time here.

“Pizzas!! Good thinking brother! We can get Friday to order them.”Thor bellowed patting Loki on his back enthusiastically.

...

The quinjet landed in the compound and you made your way out.

“Don't be too hard on yourself kid. Relax.” Clint said as he walked beside you before sprinting inside.

You were looking forward to unwinding and spending the night treating yourself.

As you stepped into the elevator, Loki heard Friday’s voice announcing your arrival.

“She’s here early. We need more time!”

Thor had opened the box of pop tarts and had already begun munching on it.

The pizza was on its way but it wouldn't be here for another twenty five minutes. Loki figured it was a good idea if he kept all of this as a surprise, so he worked his magic to hide both him and Thor from your view as you arrived on your floor and walked in.

You closed the bedroom door with a loud bang and began stripping as you made your way into the bathroom.

A long bubble bath was what you needed so you began filling the tub with hot water and picked out your favorite bath bomb that you kept away for special occasions.

Self pampering was a valid occasion right!

When the bath was ready, you instructed Friday to put on your ‘Guilty Pleasure’ playlist and to make sure no one would barge into your apartment.

...

Out in the kitchen, Loki and Thor hadn’t the faintest idea what to do next. You clearly looked like you needed to be with yourself tonight.

“Maybe we should just leave.” Thor suggested.

“And who’s to explain the four large pizzas that will get here any minute?” Loki said jeeringly, rolling his eyes.

“So we just stay hidden?”

“For now.”

…

The songs along with the bath water were working its magic and you were in a much better mood.

Your skin started to prune so you hopped out of the bath, wrapped a fluffy towel around you and walked out into your bedroom to find some comfortable clothes to slip into. You opened the packet of your foot exfoliating socks to put them on - you had been saving those for some other time as well.

By the time you made it outside, you were jamming out to Backstreet Boys. Now a few beers, junk food, trashy TV and you’d be set for the night.

Deciding on a big bowl of popcorn you put the bag in the microwave still sashaying to the music, you realized it had been forever since you let your hair down.

By the time the popcorn was done you were attempting to moonwalk towards the microwave while singing This is how we do it a bit off key but who the hell cares?

The Asgardian Gods were finding this too amusing and were enjoying seeing this carefree side of you way too much.

By the time Eminem’s Real Slim Shady came on, Loki was horrified at your choice of songs.

“This is barbaric! What sane person finds this music worthy of listening?” He hissed loudly knowing you couldn’t hear them even though they were just a few feet away.

You took the big bowl of butter popcorn and a couple of beers to the living area and plopped down on your sofa putting your socks covered feet up on the coffee table. With the bowl in your lap, you asked Friday to turn the music off as you surfed Netflix for a while but decided on Friends because that never disappointed and settled in.

You were singing the title track loudly when Friday’s voice came through.

“Your pizzas have arrived Mr Point Break.”

Thor looked visibly pissed off at the name which Tony had made the AI regard him with.

“It’s Thor. I’m gonna punch you Stark.” Thor's voice boomed loudly as he suddenly came into view, making you jump from your seat.

“What the fuck are you doing here Thor?” You shouted straightening up and sending the popcorn flying across the floor.

“In our defense- Loki started as he stepped out too, making your eyes widen further.

You were sure you were red with embarrassment at the point. How long have they been here?

“How..what the he..what are you guys doing here?” You were fumbling with words as you looked at them.

“Okay before you get mad, we wanted to do something nice for our movie night, so we thought we’d surprise you. But clearly we are the ones getting the surprise.” Loki tried to hide his smirk but failed as he spoke.

You covered your face with both your hands and uttered a muffled, “I am mortified.”

You figured there were two ways that this would go down, you could ask them to leave you alone and get mad at the two, or you could face the situation like a grown up. They did want to do a nice thing, and their intentions were innocent after all.

Deciding on the latter, you sat up and said, “Someone wanna get the door.”

“Are you not going to kick us out?” Loki asked, his eyebrows raised.

You stood up and walked into the kitchen nonchalantly, careful not to step over the fallen popcorn.

“You got pizza right? I’m famished, let's eat.”

Thor brought the boxes and you settled on the sofa once again. The events of the night hopefully forgotten at this point. You took a slice of the pepperoni pizza and sat back on the couch to resume the show when Thor spoke up.

“Lady (Y/N) you have exceptional dance moves. Maybe not the best voice though.” Thor said and soon was met with a flying pillow hitting his face.

...

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dnvrsmedia · 4 years

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You Feel Safe?

Carol Danvers x reader

summary: You and Carol are sent on a mission together for the first time.

warnings: none! good ole fluff! mutual pinning & my fav troupe the “only one bed” :)

AN: IM BACK! I am SO sorry i’ve been gone for like 2 weeks, but I had the WORST writers block omg! Hopefully this gets me back in the time of everything & I hope y’all enjoy! as always requests are open!

part 2

You were called to be on a mission yesterday. If it were any other day you wouldn’t have minded so much, but it was supposed to be your first weekend off in almost a month. You could almost taste the short lived freedom as you stepped into your room that friday evening, but of course, the world had other plans for you. The literal moment you set your bags down,friday informs you that steve needs you in the debrief room.

Obviously pissed off that you were robbed of your planned relaxing weekend, you trot to the debrief room with heavy steps and a frown. You’re known as the cheerful one around the compound. You’re always worried about others safety and health. So, when you passed Nat on the way to meet Steve without saying hello, she immediately knew something was off. Not wanting to interrupt you, she shrugs it off and makes sure to make a mental note to ask you what’s wrong later on.

You finally reach the debrief room and see a familiar tall blonde talking to Steve. You’ve only met Carol about two times, but you wouldn’t really call that a formal meeting. The two of you were too busy trying to save the world from thanos to really indulge in a conversation. But that doesn’t matter right now.

“Stevie, you know I love you, but why the ever loving fuck are you calling me on my weekend off. You know I haven’t gotten one in a while!” You exclaim as you go in to hug him. Steve has also been away on a mission for a while, so you haven’t seen your older brother figure in a while.

He gives out a hardy chuckle and gives you a tight squeeze before letting go. “I know y/n and I feel horrible doing so, but you’re the only gal for the job. Plus, you haven’t properly met Captain Danvers over here yet!” He points to Carol as she sticks out her hand to shake.

“Please, call me Carol.” She winks. You shake her hand as your face burns bright red. God y/n keep it together! You can’t help but to stare at her beautiful being. Everything about her is absolutely gorgeous and you can’t seem to get enough. Your eyes trail down to her strong biceps. All all you can think about is how much you wouldn’t mind if she put you in a choke hold i mean-

Steve clears his throat and asks you if you heard a word he just said. Now you start to blush profusely. She had to notice you staring, because she’s sporting a wicked smirk on her face.

“S-sorry I got a little uh...distracted.” You clear your throat. You notice Steve rolling his eyes and continues to debrief the mission. The both of you were to go undercover as girlfriends to a ball. This wasn’t any ordinary ball though. At the ball, there is an underground auction on alien tech. The reason you were picked and not Nat is because you can turn invisible. Once invisible, you were to sneak into the auction and take back that very valuable piece of tech. Carol is tagging along because of her extensive knowledge on alien tech. This mission was clearly meant for the two of you.

Soon after, you were dismissed to your quarters and packing for the three day long mission in Tuscany, Italy. Luckily for you since you don’t own many dresses, Nat popped by to let you borrow a few. She originally came by to see why you were so upset, but as soon as she saw you packing your bags she already knew.

“So, are you excited to play girlfriend with miss twinkle hands? Last time you two met you could barely take your eyes off oh her.” She slyly smirks as she folds your shirt. You immediately scoff as your face starts to heat up.

“I was just making sure she didn’t die! I do that every time with everyone when we’re saving the world!” You squeak. Nat could definitely tell that you were lying. I mean come on, she’s a highly skilled spy. She just mutters a ‘yeah sure’ and rolls her eyes. You shoo her away so you could ‘get your beauty sleep’ before you leave for the mission. Moments after you finally get settled in bed, you hear a knock at your door. Too tired to get up, you ask friday to let whoever is at the door in. Soon later, you’re eye to eye with Carol herself.

“Oh were you about to sleep? I’m sorry I can go if you want.” She shyly smiles and starts to walk away. You’ve never seen Carol like this before, and you wish you could see more of her.

“No,” you sit up and pat the space next to you on the bed. “It’s okay I promise. Come sit.” You gently smile. Soon after your smile is taken over by a big yawn. You hear Carol chuckle and sit next to you.

“You sure you aren’t gonna fall alseep on me, y/n?” She teased.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” You lazily smiled. “Now, why did you want to see me?” you questioned.

“I just uh wanted to get to know you better. I mean if you’re gonna be my girlfriend, then I should actually know you, right?” she answered. You blushed majorly at her calling you her girlfriend. Yes, you know it’s only for the mission, but you can’t help but feel giddy.

“Well, what do you want to know? I’m an open book.” you replied while looking into her eyes. You could get lost in her perfect chestnut eyes. You can tell that she is a strong and loving person, but she also has been hurt. You wish you could take her pain away, but sadly that’s not how it always works.

From then on, the two of you spent your last hours before the flight to Tuscany talking about anything and everything. You told her things you don’t even think you’ve told Nat or Steve yet. Just something about Carol makes you want to pour your deepest darkest feelings and thoughts out. She’s just so welcoming and warm. You do end up falling asleep due to the day of hard work you endured. Carol soon notices and covers you in your blanket before leaving. The two of you have about four hours before the flight and she still hadn’t packed. She leaves your room with the widest smile on her face.

You wake up two hours later to your alarm. You always set your alarms according to, so you don’t get behind schedule. Before missions, you like to get a light workout and combat in. You groggily get up from your bed and change into your workout clothes.

You get down to the gym and immediately notice Carol at the punching bag. She was wearing a black sports bra with matching athletic leggings and hair was in a pony tail. You are completely in awe. Of course you’ve seen her fight before, but that was in a life or death matter. You didn’t have time to gawk at the way her back muscles contracted every time she moves. Or hear the little grunts she huffs out as her fist collides with the punching bag.

She must’ve felt someone staring at her, because she turns around in the middle of punching the bag and smirks. Your face seems to permanently be red because of her, but you couldn’t really complain could you?

You shake your head and get straight into your workout routine. You turn on your favorite playlist and get straight to work. You get in light stretching before you do your 2 miles on the treadmill. You hit the weights right after. Throughout your whole workout, the both of you share stole glances. You catch her looking at your ass through the mirror as you back squat and chuckle. You’re just about to bench press as she walks up to your station.

“Here, lemme spot you. I don’t need the bar falling on your pretty face.” She smirks and steps behind the you.

“How nice of you, Captain. You know, I’m a lot stronger than I look. Trust me, I’m a big girl.” Now it’s your time to watch as her face gets red.

“Oh trust me I know. You can never be too cautious.” She winks and you playfully roll your eyes.

About an hour after, you finally finish your work out. You thank Carol once again and go on your way to your room to take a quick shower before meeting her at the quinjet. You say bye to your fellow avengers (well who’s not on a mission), and go on your marry way to Tuscany. The both of you arrive in Tuscany at 8pm. You were visibly tired, so you couldn’t wait to eat something and curl up in your own bed.

Carol helps you with you bag, although you said you can cary it, and takes the both of you to the room. The view from the room is astounding. Your eyes pan all over the room, then you see it. To your surprise, there is only one bed and a very uncomfortable looking couch. You can tell Carol notices as well as she starts to put her things by the couch.

“You can take the bed, trust me I don’t mind.” She smiles her adorable smile.

“Are you kidding me? We’re both adults here, Captain. We can share the bed and I’m not letting you say no! That couch looks so uncomfortable!” You rant as you move your things over to the bed. “Now, what do you want for dinner?” You turn your head to see he smiling at you.

The pair of you decided on some authentic Italian food for take out. So here you are, currently eating fancy Italian food with a beautiful girl in romantic Italy. Seriously what could get better than this. You guys talk for hours until it’s time to go to bed.

You’re the first one to freshen up in the bathroom before bed. You step out in only your towel, and Carols face heats up so quick.

“I-I’ll just go uh go in there uh I uh- yeah.” She mutters out as she grabs her things and rushes herself into the bathroom. You laugh to yourself then get dressed. You snuggle up in the bed with one of your books and start reading. You finish a chapter when you hear Carol get out the bathroom. You’ve never seen her look so casual before. You can’t help but smile at her Captain america pj pants.

“Steve gave em to me as a gag gift for my birthday last year.” she chuckled and gets into bed with you.

You put your book down and turn on the TV to entertain the two of you. The TV was nearly there for background noise, since you weren’t paying attention at all. You say there thinking about how happy you’ve felt around Carol for the past two days, and hoped she felt the same. A loud lawn broke your trace. You realized it’s getting late, so you turned off the TV and got comfy in the bed.

“Sleep well, Y/n.” You hear Carol say as you’re about to drift into sleep.

“Goodnight, Carol.” You day softly as you nod off into the dream state.

beep! beep! beep!

Your overly loud, yet useful, alarm wakes you up. You go to reach to turn it off but you can’t reach it. You look down and see a sleeping Carol lying on top of you. Her arm is wrapped around your waist as hair is strewn across her face. You smile down at her and admire how soft she looks. You take your free hand and move her fly aways from her face. She stirs awake and looks into your eyes. She throws herself back and starts to apologize profusely.

“Hey, hey, look it’s okay I uh actually enjoyed it. If we’re being honest I haven’t slept that well in a long time.” You blush as you look down at your hands. Carol soon takes your hands and gently caresses them with her own.

“I haven’t slept that well in a while either actually. I normally get nightmares, but with you...” She whispers.

“You feel safe?” You ask as she nods her head with a smile. “That’s exactly how I feel too.” You beam.

Carol scoots closer to you and places her palm on your cheek. You heart begins to race as she slowly inches forward to kiss you. Just as your lips are about to touch, your alarm blares once more and the two of you bump heads.

“I should probably turn that off.” You groan.

“Yeah,” She chuckles “You should.”

#captain marvel x female reader #carol danvers x you #carol danvers x reader #carol x reader #femxfem #gxg imagine #captain marvel x reader #marvel x you #nat x reader #natasha fluff #natasha fic #carol fic #mcu x reader #carol danvers #steve #steve x reader #steve rogers

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ghostlyscene · 4 years

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17 things I learned before turning 17

According to my birth certificate, I turn 17 this year. It's weird because part of me still feels 4 and part of me feels 113, but the actual age I currently am is 16. I thought I'd share some lessons I've learned. I honestly don’t know what I’m writing and looking back, this post is literally just me rambling and talking about my life and ideas that maybe are cliche. But I wanted to make this post about things I’ve learned so far in life and who knows, maybe these thoughts will evolve as I grow.

1. Crying is not a weakness - I used to always think crying was a sign of weakness or losing to someone or giving in. But as I’ve grown and experienced more things that make me want to cry, I’ve come to understand that crying is therapeutic and it helps me move on. I have to move past hardships somehow and crying is my form of coping and healing.

2. I love traveling - my family has always loved traveling ever since I was really little. I used to always be the one in daycare and elementary going to Mexico or China during breaks and later on, London, Paris, Vienna, Singapore. All these wonderful places, some I can’t even remember. Now that I’m older, I’ve fallen in love with traveling and I enjoy seeing the culture, architecture, art, way of life, and everything a country has to offer. I’ve been to 45 countries and I’m almost 17. That’s crazy and I’m so grateful for every experience and I can’t wait for more.

3. sweatshirts, sweaters, and tights are the best thing to wear - I’ve basically given up on looking nice most of the time. Comfort is always first and soft sweatshirts and hoodies and sweaters are the best for napping in and watching shows and cramming studying sessions and homework. also tights are the best thing ever cause they basically look nice with everything I wear.

4. stationery is obsessive - I love love love stationery and it’s honestly not a healthy obsession but I just can’t help myself. Every colored pen, marker, highlighter, little stickers and everything you can think of, I will probably have or want to buy when I’m in stores. I’ve recently been obsessed with zebra sarasa pens and mild liners (the pastel colors!!!)

5. Taylor Swift concerts are the happiest place to be - I’ve always imagined what Taylor concerts would be like and it was at the top of my bucket list forever because I had never been able to convince my mom to take me. My mom was always worried about safety which is understandable, but I convinced her to take me to the reputation tour. It was such a worthwhile experience and my mom and I enjoyed every moment. Taylor has such a way of making you feel at home and connected with her. I was so genuinely happy that night, singing my heart out and forgetting all my worries and insecurities for a night. I can’t wait to go to another show (hopefully soon) and I hope all of y’all will get to go to one eventually.

6. Italian food is the best food around.- pasta, gelato, pizza and omg Italian food is just amazing. That’s it. There’s nothing else to say really.

7. I’m addicted to coffee, fairy lights, and aesthetics. - Coffee is something i always need and it just tastes so good. I usually get a iced caramel macchiato but I’ve also been loving stronger coffee tastes recently. Also I don’t get any sleep during school so basically I live off caffeine. The fairy lights in my room make me so happy and warm and are a great stress reliever. Definitely recommend. Aesthetics!!! Literally love scrolling through tumblr and Pinterest for hours to look at aesthetic photos and edits and I love seeing my friend’s edits and discovering new editors and ahh!!!! definitely check them out and give them the love they deserve. Editors work so hard.

8. Art is a form of therapy - I love doing art whenever I’m stressed because it helps me forget everything. And I don’t think you have to be really talented or draw anything complex because whenever I draw stuff for competition, I always feel stressed. It’s the small doodles and careless sketches that make me feel the happiest.

9. true friends are it replaceable - I’ve realized how important a good friend is and having a person that is always there to talk to and share your worst and best moments with is something that will make your life infinitely better. You don’t need a bunch to feel happy. One true, honest one is all that one ever needs but that doesn’t mean that you should stop meeting new people cause you never know who will become your best friend or who needs you. Never stop making friends but eliminate the toxic ones.

10. having scars is not a bad thing - I’ve learned that having a history and a part of your life that is bad doesn’t make you a bad person or shameful. It is what makes you the person you are today and you should embrace it and use it to better yourself or help other.

11. Music has always been there for me - listening to music and making playlists and discovering songs is such a huge part of my life. There’s a song for every emotion and music can be so healing. So go listen to some nice songs and discover just how nice music can make one feel.

12. Put yourself first- it’s not selfish - I used to always think that thinking of myself and my feelings first was selfish. So I put others first and forgot to take care of myself. But I’ve realized that you can’t love others and help others to the full potential until you are happy with yourself and you feel content with your life and are at a good place yourself. So if you need to take care of your mental health or whatever is important to you, do it. The people who truly love you will understand and be there the whole time.

13. Don’t let your anxiety take over - anxiety can be difficult and uncontrollable and sometimes it is necessary to take care of yourself. But learning how to cope is part of the healing process and you should not let your anxiety ruin your day and should push to experience new things and go out of your comfort zone.

14. Society has unnecessary standards for woman - ok tell me why we are obligated to shave, to have nice hair, to have perfect makeup and perfect skin, and to fit a mold. I’ve found that women’s dress code can be so strict and unnecessary compared to men’s. Women are expected to do more and to fight more for what they want and to be caring, model-like, and many other “traditionally woman” things but that isn’t every women and I don’t think everyone has to adhere to those standards.

15. It is vital to become educated and know your values - this world is so complex and there’s so much out there to learn and become educated on. I think it is important to know about history and current events and become educated enough to have your own values and know why you stand by them. To me, this is part of growing up and becoming your own person and I’m always working on that. I’ve yet to achieve it but I’ve made progress.

16. “may your heart remain breakable but never by the same hands twice”.-I want to be able to put down the thick wall around my heart and to let myself love and feel again. I want to let people into my life more that make me smile and feel safe, even if it means getting hurt again. I want to allow myself to trust others and to build more relationships with people. I think it’s hard because I’ve felt abandoned and hurt so much but some tiny part of me hoped that one day, I’ll be ready to accept someone. And I think this is important for everyone to do or work towards.

17. Step into the daylight and let it go. - something I have definitely learned and am still working on doing daily is learning to let go. I’ve realized that it’s not easy, and some part of me always wants to nitpick on every tiny mistake in my life. I don’t think I’ll ever be fully satisfied with myself and I will always value improvement. But I’ve realized that the amount of stress I have over uncontrollable aspects of life is too much. So I think that sometimes it’s best to just take a deep breath and move on. you only have so long to live so instead of dwelling on the past, you have to move on and work on improving the future.

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neshabeingchildish · 5 years

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Poly Wanna? 09

I have been struggling super hard and super long with trying to wrap this chapter up and lo and behold, I decided to just move forward and hope that it communicates what i was trying to communicate. I know it's a long chapter, but I just couldn't mentally wrestle with it anymore. Might have wound up changing it completely and I worked too hard to do that to myself. Hopefully, we're still having a good time, here.

Lemme know if I need to take you off the tag. Idk who’s actually reading because I’ve only heard from a couple of people, so idk if y’all still interested.

@adorkable-blackgirl @chenoahchantel @riebellion @woahjusttakeiteasy-man @up-the-tube @ciara-knightly @cactus-con @oof–musicals @lesbian-so-what @meadowstryingtobepretty @imma-sensitive-btch @okaygal21 @midernacht @divinereign4ever @xoxoemille@itsyaapollochild

Just Trying to Figure It All Out

Music was playing through the sound system as Henry cooked, Jasper set the table and readied the room. Charlotte had went to get washed up and dressed. The guys were talking about general stuff like the menu and how the night went for Charlotte (which, technically, they had gotten back so late that it was practically the next day) and she slept well into the afternoon, almost evening. Now, Henry was making a gourmet Italian meal, Jasper was making the place extremely comfortable, and Charlotte was staring at herself in the mirror, wondering if she was doing too much.

She had an espresso colored evening gown on with spaghetti straps and had pulled her hair up and decked it with flowers. The gown hugged her body, was satin and shiny and made her look like she was dipped in chocolate syrup, meanwhile, the cocoa butter on her skin had her beaming.

Upon further review of this bedroom, she probably should have guessed that it had been created for her. The bedding was silk sheets and pillow cases (numerous pillows), with a layer of blankets - a super fluffy one with a weighted one on top, then a cute, thin one with a floral pattern. The room smelled of rosemary, eucalyptus, lemon, patchouli, and ylang ylang. She’d thrown some rose and chamomile into her diffuser and together with whatever he had making scents - the room smelled like perfection. Plus, she adored the number of plants in there. She wanted to be a plant mom, but never had the time. All of these were plants that she loved (at least the aesthetic and scents of). Plus… she noticed when she went to grab her luggage from the closet.. he had a jar of gummy bears on the dresser by the door and a little tent card that read “Organic and Fresh,” in his own handwriting.

She grabbed a handful of them, helped herself to more Bang Bang Bubbly, and came out of the room, nervously. She paused and heard the guys laughing together. She peeked in and saw them playfully fighting over the cheese grater. Jasper was wrapped around Henry, who held the grater just out of his reach and pushed him backwards with his hips. It was very… intimate. Charlotte stepped into the room and made a small sigh of a noise that sorta sounded like a little whimper, just for attention.

Henry and Jasper both turned to look at her and they froze, still wrapped up in the wrestle, but completely distracted, now. They whispered, “Fuuuuuuck,” when they saw her and separated to stare. She sauntered in with her hands clasped together, kinda nervously. She didn’t know where her eyes should be, so she kept them on her fingers. She still felt the two pairs that were stuck on her. Henry’s mouth was wide open and Jasper licked his lips. “You look gooooood,” Henry managed to break the silence.

She blushed and looked at the ground, “My bruises are showing. I can’t look that good.”

“You will ALWAYS look that good!” Jasper said and came to her, gathering her for a kiss. Now, Henry looked at the ground, and set down the cheese grater. He folded his arms and leaned against the counter as Jasper led Charlotte to the table to help her settle in her seat. “Are you feeling any better?”

“I’m full of Bubbly,” she said and shrugged her shoulders.

Jasper squatted next to her chair and asked, “What can I get you to drink?”

“Just water, please?”

He kissed her shoulder and said, “Coming right up. God, you’re gorgeous!” He tapped her chin with his fingertips and went to get the water. She traced circles on the table and Henry came with a bucket of ice with a bottle of wine in it and sat down. Jasper returned with water and pointed out, “I’ve put the fresh fruit platter right in front of you, so that you don’t have to reach for it.” She smiled brightly. Her man knew what to do, like all of the time. She smiled sadly. “I wanna tell Jasper that I pressured Henry into telling me about what happened between them. But, we’re all at peace and everyone’s having a good time, so I don’t wanna do it at dinner. I wanna do it when we’re alone.. Then again, what if Henry were to mention it at dinner and it looks like I was keeping it from him? At this point, I’m so stressed out, but I also don’t want to ruin the time that we’re spending together. So… I just shut up and hope that it didn’t come up.”

The song Been to the Moon that Charlotte was singing the night that Henry went to the lounge began to play and Charlotte, with a mouth full of fruit, said, “Oooh! I love this song!”

“Yeah, I love it too, now. I wish that I had it in your voice,” Henry said, opening the wine. She waved a hand at him, feigning flattery. “It was the only song I remembered you sang that night, because the lyrics were pretty moving… and appropriate.” She blushed. That almost sounded like a declaration of love. She didn’t need that, not after that hug earlier. She wanted for Henry to pipe down. In fact, whatever she entered the room with he and Jasper doing… “Henry is confusing me. I can’t tell what he wants, and I know it shouldn’t matter, but for some reason, I’m preoccupied with it. Does he want to take Jasper away from me? Does he want to take me from Jasper? Does he just… wanna come between the two of us so that we can be alone or available to him?” *Bites her lip and looks both worried but really adorable too.*

“I was thinking that after dinner, maybe we could hang out and watch movies, unless you two just wanna be alone,” Henry suggested. He knew that he was much too eager to spend time with them, but he wanted to get as much of it as he could while nobody was mad or sad because of him.

“Sounds good to me,” Charlotte said. “I honestly can’t feel my feet or my face, so it’s not much that I can do anyway.”

“After about 3 days of Bang Bang Bubbly, I usually have my acupuncturist come over. Then, I sleep for hours and wake up unscathed,” Henry said. “That stuff changed my life. I’ll have her come in for you,” He began to send a message from his phone. “She’ll be here Wednesday morning to see you.” He smiled and set his phone down. “So! I feel like I didn’t get around to talking about things in the steam room, talking about everything, I mean. I didn’t really feel like I got everything out in the open that you both needed and I can’t really stand for you two not to have whatever you need out of me.”

Charlotte looked at Jasper, to see if he was going to say something. He was more interested in his plate. Charlotte placed her fork down and nodded her head, “Well… I want to say something. I wanted to tell Jasper about earlier.” Jasper paused when she said his name. “I have to tell you something. So, earlier, before you got here, I was kinda naughty…” His eyes narrowed in confusion and he tilted his head. “I used Henry’s desperation to get me to be nice to him to find out about what happened between the two of you, once and for all.” Now, as the look of realization set in, one of sadness flooded over him as well.

“And, what do you think of me now?”

“I think that you were in such a terrible place for 2 years of your life, and maybe if I hadn’t been so salty, I could’ve been the friend that you needed, to see you through that. What happened was a mess and you... had to have been sad, longer than before you broke up. You had to have noticed things. We always do, whether we want to or not. I’m sorry that you were treated that way.” She moved her chair closer to him, cupped his face and rubbed his cheeks with her thumbs. Henry watched them in what was literally the worst pain that he could recall feeling in his heart.

Jasper placed his larger hands over Charlotte’s and asked, “That doesn’t make you wanna leave me? That I was so weak and stupid? I avoided telling you, because anybody that I’ve told, if I was interested in them, they felt like there were things unresolved between Henry and I and they didn’t want me. That’s why I’ve been afraid to tell you.”

“Don’t be afraid. I have your back, forever Jasper. If we don’t last, I’m never gonna hurt you, okay? Forever and for always, I’m gonna be your friend and want what’s best for you.” He pressed his forehead to hers and just rested there for a moment.

Jasper eventually broke the contact and noticed Henry, watching them with his hands clasped on top of the table. He didn’t comment on Henry’s blend of emotions. Instead, focused the conversation on Charlotte, “So… Your dad stopped by last night. He was really worried and shoved right passed me to search the apartment and see if you were home. I told him that you were at Henry’s, and he thought that I was lying. He was like, “The only person that she wants to talk to less than me is him!” Like, did he stop by here? I don’t know if he knows where Henry lives, but I didn’t know that he knew where I lived, so I don’t know.”

“I’ve spoken to him, since then. I didn’t tell him where Henry lives, but I told him that I would stop by to see him after I was feeling better.”

Bringing on the Heartbreak by Def Leppard came on the playlist and the three all went completely apesh*t. Using utensils as microphones and instruments, a lot of unnecessary headbanging and hairography, but it was SUCH a classic and they were old enough to enjoy it and understand it and admit to appreciating the genre, even though they once called it “old people music.” Well… Charlotte and Henry hadn’t been too fond of it back in their day. Jasper would tell them that they were bad at appreciating good music. He was very much into to kind of stuff that his dad liked, mainly because he wasn’t really given many options of his own. He kinda had to listen to whatever his folks played and his dad was all about the hard rock and rock ballads, while his mom listened to some Irish folk music and weird instrumentals that Charlotte was always sure were made simply for vibrations to match drug usage. They never talked about it much, but they were relatively certain that she had some history with it.

When they sat back down, Charlotte was ready to sing more, now. She had Henry show her how his music system worked and she was getting ready to browse, but George Michaels began to play and she laughed and asked, “What IS it with you and these old songs?”

“I spend most of my social time around old people!” He said.

“This is actually a great song, though,” She said swaying to Careless Whisper.

“All of his songs are great,” Henry corrected her.

“Booty Bear, come dance with me!” Charlotte said. Jasper was staring thoughtfully into his empty plate and blinked when he heard her request.

“I’m kinda stuffed. Maybe Henry can dance with you,” he said. Something was wrong with him, but she didn’t know if she should ask him now or wait until they were alone, so she and Henry started to dance to Careless Whisper, singing along and breaking contact for saxophone portions that Charlotte couldn’t contain her movements to a slow dance for. One More Try came on next and now, Jasper jumped up and she smiled, about to ask him if he was gonna dance with her now, but he took the remote and turned it off. His hands were shaking a little, but he forced a smile. “Sorry. I didn’t wanna hear that one.” Lips of an Angel by Hinder came on and Jasper set the remote down and went to clear his plate from the table, “I’ll get it, Jasp,” Henry offered and went to him. He touched the small of his back and asked quietly, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I just… it’s bad memories, is all.” He smiled a little and Charlotte watched them, listening to this song and she would never admit that she felt a way. She felt like she was watching a music video. “My girlfriend’s in the next room, sometimes I wish she was you. I guess we never really moved on…” Jasper and Henry hugged and then Henry cleared the table and told them they could get comfortable in his room. Charlotte met Jasper, asked, “What just happened?”

“I… That George Michael’s song One More Try… That’s the last song thing that I could remember before I passed out. It just brought some things up.”

“And Henry was able to comfort you?”

“No. I mean, he gave me a hug, but that was nothing…” *Charlotte singing* And I never want to say goodbye, but (god) you make it hard to be faithful. With the lips of an angel… Is THAT something that you wanna hear in the background of your man hugging his ex that he was in love with most of his life, and then find out that what made him sad that night was thinking about the night that they broke up? Because, I was shook.

Henry threw everything into the dishwasher and went into his bedroom. Charlotte had grabbed the fluffy blanket from her room and was snuggled in it in the bed when he came in. "Where's Jasper?"

"Washing his feet."

"Wash… what?"

"You know how smelly they can get! He's gonna wash them and put some of the oil blend I made him for foot odor. Lavender, lemon, peppermint & tea tree… in case you're about to unleash something dank from those canvas sneaks."

"Nope. My essential oils game is STRONG. You smell that blend in your room? Daddy did that on his own!"

"Did… did.. you just refer to yourself as "Daddy?"

"I did and I hate that I did."

“I hate that you had Lips of an Angel playing and hugging my boyfriend,’ she said, unable to hold that inside for much longer.

“Oh. It’s just on that particular playlist. It’s not like I planned it that way.”

“So, you had no idea that George Michael’s One More Try was playing the night that he almost died?”

“WHAT? I was just now years old when I heard this! Is… Is he okay?” Henry honestly looked upset.

“I think so. I just… Are you still in love with him?” She asked. She could tell from Henry’s facial expression and hesitation what the answer was, but he didn’t get a chance to actually answer her.

Jasper came in, slightly damp, wearing a belly shirt, shorts and socks. "Decided to just take a whole shower. Hen… you need any foot oil?"

"No! My feet smell good!" Henry cheered, grateful for that rescue.

"This bed is extremely comfortable," Charlotte said, sliding over for Jasper. He simply smiled and got closer to her while Henry grabbed the remote for the projector. He'd turned his bedroom into somewhat of a home theater. He had a movie screen on the wall that the bed faced, instead of a TV and projected any movie that he had access to on his computer onto the screen.

"How's horror sound?" He wondered.

"I'm for it," Jasper quickly answered.

Charlotte cringed, "Why not something sci-fi or fantasy?"

"What do you wanna watch?"Henry asked.

She took his remote and he simply laughed and laid down next to her. "I guess you're in charge."

"Nothing new," Jasper said. "I don't run anything in our home."

"That's a lie!" Charlotte said, browsing her movie options.

"Lemme guess… he's the boss in the bedroom." Jasper blushed as Charlotte's face said it all. "I knew it. Everybody thinks he's sweet and innocent when he's really a sexual force to be reckoned with."

"I can't even speak half the time when he's done with me," she admitted, finally selecting something. "Forget having me wrapped around his finger. He's got me wrapped around his third leg."

"Stahp!" Jasper insisted, smiling so hard his face hurt.

Henry's eyes trailed the length of Jasper and for a moment, he thought about being wrapped around him. They made eye contact and Jasper's expression questioned him. He turned towards the screen and grabbed one of the pillows to hug against himself. Charlotte set down the remote and said, “Jasper, full disclosure, I told Henry what you were upset about tonight.” Jasper’s smile faded.

“I just don’t understand why Charlotte is dragging me through so many emotions on this night. Like, on the one hand, I see that she’s just trying to be open and honest and I DO value that, so much. She’s the most genuine person I’ve ever dated and everything that she does comes from a place of integrity and concern. But, right now, I just wanna, chill and not think about anymore of my pain, and she just keeps… coming back to it.”

“I don’t wanna talk about that, Char.”

“The Bang Bang Bubbly may be affecting her inhibitions.”

“No,” she said and shook her head. “I just don’t want to let anything go unchecked and I have some things that made my list at dinner. I’ve already asked Henry about that Hinder song, but I should tell you, I felt some kind of way watching the two of you interact while that song was on.”

“We were just talking,” Jasper said, with a tight smile. “No need to be jealous. You know that nothing is happening here, with the history that we have.”

“The history matters. Even I sometimes can look at Henry and forget for a moment that we had the worst breakup that I have ever had in my life, and I had an ex give me back an anniversary present on my birthday and dump me at the same time.”

“Whoa, what? To… Basically all of that?” Henry asked.

She ignored him and told Jasper, “I understand it if sometimes you feel confused.”

“I gave myself 2 years to get over him for the 2 years that I gave into him and I’m confident that I met my deadline,” Jasper said. “I’m very good at doing things that I put my mind to.”

“I know, but… You didn’t give him 2 years, though. You always loved him. What if it takes the rest of you life and that never goes away? What if you’re in a state of settling right now? You know, you can’t live your best life by limiting your intentions.”

Jasper picked up the remote and began browsing, “Guess we’re not gonna have our tears of joy wedding moment, at this rate,” he said sourly. (This had become their little inside joke), but Henry coughed on air or spit.

“You… two are getting married?”

“No. I mean, I don’t know…” Jasper said. “It’s an ongoing little joke we have, sort of.”

Charlotte furrowed her eyebrows and asked Henry, “Why, would that make you feel some kind of way?” Jasper nervously tapped his foot, wanting her to cut this out.

Henry squeezed the pillow far tighter than necessary and shrugged his shoulders, trying to answer calmly. “Well, I am human, so sure. Of course, it would make me feel some kind of way. I have very deep histories with both of you and seeing you together already stirs a lot of things up. But, I would be happy for you, like I’m happy for you now. You both deserve each other. There’s not two people alive more deserving of love than the two that loved me more than I ever deserved.”

“Would you look at that! I found a fantasy movie,” Jasper said and flung the remote, then laid back.

Charlotte felt like she should probably stop talking. Jasper was visibly bothered by what she was saying and clearly just wanted her to shut up and watch the movie. But, she couldn’t! “I’m glad that the three of us are here tonight and everything's out in the open. I asked you about how you would feel, because I’ve been noticing some things and I have to say something about it.”

“Okay?” Henry said, realizing that was directed at him. Jasper sighed and pursed his lips together.

“You and Jasper might not realize it, but you’ve been looking at each other. You seem to have these unspoken conversations and maybe me now knowing what happened between you will make those make more sense, but I feel like… I don’t know… Like the two of you didn’t get a chance to be what you could’ve been and that now that you’re a better person, Jasper definitely sees it and is curious about how it would go with this version of you… I’m… intimidated by it and I don’t want to be…” She shook her head. “It was like none of the words that I imagined could come out. Because, then the possibility might become more real. I don’t wanna be like my mom. I don’t wanna be like Jasper. I don’t wanna get played for a fool. I don’t want to be in the middle of something that was bound to happen and think that I was important when I was really just a placeholder. I don’t wanna be on TV crying as somebody I trusted flips on me, because they just couldn’t stand to not have this one thing.”

“I’d never do that to you,” Jasper said, reading her mind.

“I don’t think you’d purposefully do anything. I think that you were in love with somebody since you were a kid, and…”

“And it failed, miserably!”

“Because, he hadn’t evolved enough to be ready for you.”

“It sounds like you’re shoving me onto Henry and you just told me like five minutes ago that you’re not gonna hurt me. I’m feeling dangerously close to being hurt, right now.”

“That feeling might be fear! I just want you to think about it. My parents moved really fast and moved on their feelings and wound up married and with child before they even paused to see if they LIKED each other, as people. Turned out that they did not. I want me and you, Jasper, to always like each other. We’ve done really well for the past year and I just want us to always be great together, even if it’s not together…”

Jasper gasped and covered his mouth, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“I’m… extending to you some freedom to explore and figure out what you want, kinda how you did for Henry, but hopefully, with more respect between us. I just want you to be sure that you’re not missing out on anything.”

“But, we’re still together?”

“Yes.”

“You just want the door open, in case I want something with Henry?”

“I don’t necessarily want the door open, but feel like I would be more comfortable putting it out there right now that if something happens between you and Henry, I understand and I’ll let you figure out what that means for you.”

“Okay. Thanks for that. Ummm…” Jasper now avoided even looking in Henry’s direction. He didn’t want to know what he thought about what Charlotte said. He didn’t even know what he thought about it, himself.

“I really put my foot in my mouth, and that is not something that I normally do, so I’ll just go ahead and blame it on the Bubbly, which I have 2 more days of taking to go.”

Charlotte got up out of the bed and walked out of the room. “Where are you going?” Both men asked her. She shook her head and kept going. They probably think I’m stupid or crazy right now and I don’t blame them. Jasper told Henry, “Please, stop encouraging her to ask or talk about us. If anybody should be talking to her about us, it should be me.”

“Okay, but I thought you wanted me and her to work on us.”

“Not if it means she’s thinking I need myself a side of Henry!”

“A side of Henry could do you some good!”

“Shut the fuck up, Henry,” Jasper said and went after Charlotte. Henry followed. She just needed some breathing room, but Jasper’s emotions had been all over the place and he didn’t want to let her out of his sight. “Char? Where are you going?”

“I haven’t been to the Man Cave,” she said.

“Well, I’m sure that’s fine with Henry,” he said and looked back at him. Henry nodded and passed her to lead them to the elevator.

They made their way into the Man Cave. It was set up similar to the way it used to be, but Charlotte immediately noticed new tech and a different tone of the Cave. She went to explore, since they weren’t being filmed while there, and while she was, Henry tried to talk to Jasper, “Just so you know, she’s probably just medicated and loopy. I’m not gonna pay that any mind. I know that you’ve only got eyes for her.”

Jasper rolled his eyes and sighed, “And I know that you still want her.”

“If you know that, why did you let her stay here, by herself with me? I mean, even with feeling guilty about what happened, I would think that you wouldn’t trust me not to… Try…” Henry scoffed. “You thought that I was gonna try to come on to her! Did you even actually wanna see us try to mend things, or did you just set things up to see if I was gonna try to snake my way back to her?”

“Both,” Jasper said and shrugged his shoulders. In the background, Charlotte was getting excited about various additions to the place that they all used to spend most of their time.

“Wow. So, did you even forgive me, or did you say that so that I could let my guard down and open myself up?”

“I forgave you a long time ago. Forgiving doesn’t necessarily mean forgetting and I know that you want what I have.”

“I want what both of you have!” Henry hissed, then covered his face. “Yeah, yeah, I do still want her… but I want you too. I know that’s not possible and I know that’s one sides… or two sided, I guess… But, that’s my feelings. I have to live with those and I’ve resigned myself to it. I guess I just have to try harder for you to be comfortable enough to know that I’m bigger than my feelings, now. I’m bigger than my wants…” They both realized that the room was quiet and turned to see Charlotte, staring at them, holding something in her hand. Henry stepped back from Jasper and went over to her. “Hey, you’re finding all kinda stuff.”

“Yeah. What did I miss?” She asked (about he and Jasper’s little exchange).

“Just that you don’t have to worry about Jasper and I rekindling anything,” he smiled, but it was sad. It was that old smile that he used to give her whenever he lost a battle and didn’t want to talk about it, but didn’t want her to worry, either. She always used to worry. But, this time, she just felt bad for him.

“I could take it. I’ve actually been in mutually agreed open relationships before, and I’ve identified as poly for the past few years…”

Henry’s eyebrows shot up, “Really? You were… involved in a polyamorous relationship, or you simply realized that you lean towards such arrangements?”

“A little of both. It began with one of my open relationships’ friends. We got along a lot better than they did, but they were far more sexually compatible, so while they were seeing each other, myself and this other person began dating, of course, everyone was in communication about it. My partner felt a little weird about it at first, as he was the person who introduced us and saw him as “his,” but couldn’t deny that he saw the chemistry and didn’t want to obstruct our openness. It was the only time one of us fell for the other’s side interest, but that had never been a rule not to.”

“So, you’ve been in a relationship before… with two guys?” Henry asked, a little more encouraged than a few minutes ago.

“I have. It was difficult and didn’t last, because sometimes whenever you have more than a couple of people, especially if one or more isn’t used to the openness and honesty and sharing… Sometimes the dynamics can be confusing. Those days whenever you don’t really want to be bothered, so they go on without you, and you still feel slighted, even though if you were only with one person and you didn’t want to be bothered, you’d appreciate them respecting that. Whenever you measure up things, whether intensional or not and realize that the sex drive or sexual attraction for some of the others might be different in a way that makes you insecure… I mean… There’s a lot of reasons that relationship didn’t last.”

“Did you remove yourself from it?” He asked.

“No. I was broken up with by my original partner and when that happened, his side interest broke things off with him. He said that he came into a packaged arrangement and he didn’t want to be just with one of us. Of course, my ex said that he didn’t mind that they kept things open, but he just wasn’t interested in continuing to see me, on his end. I wasn’t interested in that. I was new to discovering myself and it seemed messy. None of the other stuff seemed messy, just like… you know, relationship work. But, when it got to where I couldn’t figure out what the purpose of the work would be, I definitely dipped. Long story short, I can handle Jasper exploring you without feeling discarded, and in the event that I’m not meant for a longer journey, I can accept that shit with grace.”

Whenever she brought the subject back to Jasper, Henry sighed, “He’s not interested.”

“That’s a lie.”

“He’s not interested in trying, and I respect that… Wait… Jasper was giving me a morality test, is that what you’re doing right now? Is this the part where I find out that contrary to my previous belief that seeing the two of you in love was my sentencing, it’s actually having both of you play multiple games to see if my heart is in the right place?”

She furrowed her eyebrows and turned up her nose, “I’d sooner not even deal with you at all. I don’t have time for games. I’m a broke ass genius. I’d use game playing energy to get a real job. What does this thing do?” she changed the subject, now, to the contraption in her hands.

“I can’t say that they are in it together, but I feel like it’s a coincidence that Jasper was testing me and she takes that time to openly announce that she’s fine with us trying a thing, and then she had that pretty convincing story of her experience with a polyamorous relationship with two men, a relationship that didn’t work out. If you’ve already failed at a similar relationship, then why would you be open to another?”

“It boggles my mind that he would wonder that, because that is precisely how relationships work. Most of us don’t have a relationship with the same person for our entire dating span. So, to think that polyamorous people would just give up when their first try doesn’t work out is… Does he ACTUALLY have those credentials? Because, I don’t know if I’d go to therapy with somebody who says the things that he says about relationships, not even for sexual advice… Though, maybe he’s only good at speaking about that aspect, and not the emotional. He could have just said that he and Jasper are too afraid to try out their emotions with me in the picture and kept it moving.”

The spa-hospital-sleeping-waking up etc schedule had thrown everyone’s body off a little bit. So that they were all still awake whenever it was time for the sun to come up. “We need to get to the roof. We won’t be able to see it anywhere else,” Jasper told Charlotte.

“You can see it from the balcony,” Henry said. Jasper remembered just as brightly as it was yesterday how Henry had snapped at him for interrupting sunrise for him before, and flinched at the thought. But, Henry took his hand and pulled him towards the balcony. He glanced at Charlotte, to see if this was okay and she followed, without much of a reaction on her face. They leaned against the bar and watched in complete silence. Jasper was in the middle, with Charlotte and Henry on either side of him.

Charlotte and Henry usually both watched the sun come up, but Jasper was having an emotional moment - because Charlotte had never withheld this time from him, yet Henry had. Today, they were both here with him and not only was Henry no longer withholding this moment from him, but Charlotte was here, as well. It was perfect and he was overcome. They didn’t know what he was thinking, but damn if he wasn’t gorgeous in the growing light of the sun. Charlotte had never noticed before; she was usually quite engaged with the view of the earth being brought into a new day. Henry hadn’t turned from said view since Char had left. But this day, both of them were staring at Jasper and he was a vision to behold.

They caught a glimpse of each other, staring lovingly at the man in between them and silently agreed not to bother each other about the fixation that they gladly returned to after that acknowledgement. At the same time, unplanned, they each moved a hand to the small of his back and their fingers accidentally brushed together. Both of them moved their hands to a different spot on his back and he collected them into each of his arms. “This is the warmest that the sunrise has felt in a while,” Henry said and snuggled in closer. Charlotte slid her hand beneath the back of Jasper’s crop top to stroke his skin more intimately.

“Yeah, it’s a perfect day,” Jasper agreed. He turned to smile at Charlotte, first and kiss her on the forehead, then leaned his head against Henry’s shoulder.

Henry had to water his plants after that, and talk to them. Charlotte offered to help, wanting to spend time with his herb garden, but he preferred to walk her through it, so they did that first and Jasper just hung around, amazed that Henry was finally so open with him and these areas of his life. Suddenly, Charlotte’s offer didn’t seem so… scary. Then again, the difference was that Charlotte was here. Yeah, he and Henry had made up and been nice to each other since their breakup and even during plant time, when Jasper interrupted, Henry was cordial about it. But, here, with Charlotte, that made a difference in how loving Henry was. Henry had admitted that he wanted both of them, to Jasper. So, of course, it made sense that he was standing way too close and unnecessarily touching her to show her how to care for the plants, but Jasper still didn’t trust this. He still felt a little bit jealous, though he was also kinda gushy about it.

Henry and Charlotte were a beautiful couple. He’d thought about them together, years ago. He’d thought about if he had been with her instead, would they have lasted and would she have dated Henry later. He thought about the three of them together… But, that was before the issues. That could never be a thing now. Although… She brought up the idea of he and Henry exploring. He could bring up the idea of the three of them.. And always play it off like he was trying to show her how ridiculous her idea sounded, if she didn’t seem into it. He decided that he would do that! But… this wasn’t the right time, was it? “You two are getting dirty. Might have to have a shower party soon!” He said, then immediately regretted it.

“What’s a shower party?” Henry asked. Charlotte had just looked at him like people looked at his 11th toe.

“I think he was making a joke about us taking a shower together.”

“Dude. You’re gonna make it weird. We’re having a nice morning,” Henry said. He and Charlotte laughed and she returned to the herbs. But, Henry stared at Jasper. He looked nervous and unsure of himself. Like, he wanted to say something, but he didn’t know how. “You okay there, Buddy?” Henry wondered.

“Why not the three of us?” Jasper asked.

“Oh, boy,” Charlotte said.

“I mean… why just me and Henry? There’s definitely something there between the two of you too. I guess I don’t understand why you think he’s good enough or changed enough for me to make attempts, but not for you.”

“It’s got nothing to do with that at all.”

“She’s insecure and just wants to be sure. You know, like how you set me up to try to get her by leaving her here with me? You two are playing the same damn game, Jasper.”

“I’ve already discussed that I’m not playing any games. You’re the master game player, so I know that you would know, but I assure you, if I was playing games, you wouldn’t be smart enough to peep it,” she said. She and Henry began fussing at each other, for the first time since they began speaking again and Jasper felt like he might have a panic attack.

Look at what he’d done! Henry tried to do something nice and take care of Char in this bright and beautiful space, and Jasper mistrusted him. Char tried to open up a chance for him to resolve any of his past, with perfect trust and no judgement and he’d shot her down. Now, he had them arguing again, and they were doing so well, since last night! He sniffled and both of them heard it, even through their loud voices.

He couldn’t hear their words of concern and affirmation through the sound of his heartbeat in his ears, but he could tell that they were both more concerned with seeing about him than with arguing with each other, unlike his parents, which sometimes, arguments made him think of… especially if he felt like it was his fault.

Charlotte stepped back and let Henry try to reach out to Jasper, cupping his face and trying to make eye contact with him. “Jasper, we’re sorry. We didn’t mean to start arguing, okay? It’s just banter, a little bickering, like old times. Remember when we used to do this? You’d just drown us out most of the time. It was no big deal. We’re good. We’re good. You’re okay. It wasn’t your fault, and nothing bad happened.” Jasper stared at him and it was like he’d finally realized where he was. “Heyyyy,” Henry said. Jasper fell onto him and hugged him. Charlotte rubbed his back and she and Henry exchanged guilty glances.

She suggested, “Since our sleep schedules are messed up, we might as well try to stay awake until tonight and get back on a regular rotation. You wanna go home?”

“You can stay!” Henry said. “I’ll make myself scarce. I mean, I’ll hang out in my room or down here or something. You two relax.”

“I’m fine,” Jasper said and shook Henry off of him. “I just had a moment.” He tried to smile. “Got a little headache.”

“I’ve got something for that,” Charlotte said and collected him. To Henry, she said, “Thanks for bringing him out.”

“I love him too,” he said casually, with a shrug of his shoulders.

#Poly Wanna #Nesha HD Fics #henry danger #henry hart #charlotte page #jasper dunlop #hd ot3

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amortm · 5 years

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* 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒 𝐔𝐏 , pretty kitties ! i'm terribly sorry abt my absence on the dash alongside you angels , & trust that i’m fully embarrassed of my slow ass , but i finally typed this baby out , & i can’t wait for y’all to meet my love , 𝒋𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔 !

* ╰ it’s an absolute dishonour to meet you , julianna / jules . at twenty - one , you’ve disgraced the peralta family name & failed to carry on their legacy as an elite . as a result , they’ve requested that we at the academy do our best to rid you of your venality , & seeing as though they’re worth 86m , we dutifully obliged . while your pleonastic & inexorable attributes have always promised failure , it’s your spar with pride & ghosting your breakout acting role after you found out your daddy secured it for you that got you committed . before we take possession of you , it’s imperative that we know that you are a cisfem who prefers she & her pronouns , & you resemble diana silvers . your birthday is on april 26th , making you a recalcitrant taurus , & you were transported to us all the way from vail , co . at the present time , you work off campus at seaside florist . go ahead & purchase that extra large suitcase , disgrace . you’re going to need it .

your name / age / pronouns / timezone / etc .

hiya loves ! i go by blue & she / her pronouns , i’m 9teen , & i’m a pst baby ! i’m one of the six lovely admins @ #unholy , & they’re all superstars , so imagine my daily awe ! anyway , i’m beyond excited to finally get the ball rolling , & share the dash with you babes !

muse inspo .

noora sætre , the goldfinch , ella of frell , neil perry , charlie dalton , claire saffitz , monica geller , carla lalli music , mia thermopolis , adam parrish , blue sargent , anna ou !

character details :

💐 : sweetly judgmental , adoringly vindictive / vindictively adoring , witty ‘n gritty , bitingly tender , expressively stubborn , softly feral !

😈 : hershey’s chocolate , brooklyn pizza , baguettes , collector edition copies of wuthering heights , selfies , her mom , richard siken anthologies , twilight ( #teamedward ) , crowded movie theaters , english gardens , the air in new york , the air in vail , snowboarding , her hair , hot chocolate ( no whipped cream , half a bag of mini marshmallows dumped atop ) , andrew garfield , her discover weekly playlist , german shepherds , harry potter , lord of the rings , comedies , horror movies , nude lipstick , chocolate chip toffee cookies with sea salt drizzled on top , mamma mia franchise , dissertations , driving , any typa jacket / coat , being the big spoon , her father , coca cola , lilies , disney t - shirts , her father’s films , take out , farms , italy ( every single crevice of it ) , the plaza hotel , mint chip ice cream , hats , trains , monthly horoscopes , ancient history , greenwich village , maggie rogers , mating ritual , vampire weekend , mitski , the wombats , magic bronson , jade bird , hockey , pretending to be a fairy / witch / mermaid as a child , naruto , avatar the last airbender , stepping over state / country lines , hot water with honey , amazon prime !

👿 : the marvel franchise except for the captain america & thor trilogies , coffee & tea , shorts , sweet potatoes , layovers of any length , socks , soy milk , her arms , chihuahuas , a song of fire & ice novels , super fudgy / rich cake & brownies , cooking for herself , being told what to do , being wrong & having everyone know it , people who are rude to employees , bad tipping , margaret atwood , her first grade teacher , plastic coke bottles , too much pepper in a dish !

upbringing & family life , life before the academy , etc .

julianna rachel peralta was born to a beauty - charmed family of three , with a new yorker mother & italian father birthing the healthiest & happiest girl parents can dream for . her mother , susanna ‘ susie ’ peters , was coined the model that pioneered 90′s fashion , a la kate moss , & met julianna’s father , elio peralta ( think the francis ford coppola of this verse ) , whilst she was briefly on set for jack to see friend fran drescher . their love stemmed from there , after she made a mocking comment & he overhead & mocked her in return for it , & the whirlwind romance that captivated their world for the next few years led to miss jules being born . neither of her parents desired marriage from each other , rather believing that their love knew no bounds , even those of matrimony , but never did it dim the bond held between the small family of three . once jules was in their arms , they relocated from new york to colorado , into the quaint town of vail , surrounded by pristine mountains & crystalline air , where susie & elio found a pocket of indisputable peace after a small winter trip in their first year of romance .

it was there that jules grew up , & there that the love of her parents faltered . her mother missed the world of fashion , the rhythms & rhymes of the space she knew as well as in maintaining the fame that spotlighted her so , while elio’s passions for turning out film after film dwindled . & when the offer from vogue came in , waxing poetic about a fresh position as a fashion editor , both she & elio knew that their paths would veer . their love was no less , but integral factors of their relationship were now fractured , & they each desired after different things . this was all said to julianna , in soft tones & with assuring words . yet , never was it promised that everything would be the same as it was , for the truth was in something unsaid . susie moved to new york , while elio & jules stayed in that mansion in the mountains , & all was as fair & well as it could be , with julianna staying with her mom during the fall season & discovering every little piece of italy in the summers . christmases & hanukkahs were always shared in vail , & susie tagged along european dives when her schedule allowed for it . it was as if their relationship & subsequent uncoupling were trivial details no one could bother to account for , until , in the worst spot she’s ever seen her mother , it came out that elio peralta found a new woman to share a life with , & that their new life together would be housed in the same home that susie & elio specially chose & , in emotional terms , truly built themselves & carved their family in its foundations . it was a betrayal of the deepest caliber , & from there the small peace that still was at the core of their little family was forever severed , & it became obvious to jules that those few years were lucky .

she was thirteen when famed actress lily taylor ( aka jennifer connely lmao ) moved into her family home , bringing her adopted eleven - year - old twins with her . in a sense of loyalty to her mother & her own hurt over the despair that her father caused their original trio , jules was heartily & positively prepared to hate the new additions to her family with a vindictive fidelity . her plan was promptly overturned , however , when she spent day upon day with her new fam & steadily allowed them into her heart . this , of course , was paired with doubtless guilt , spurred on by her own mind whenever she flew to nyc to see her mother , but soon enough this was caught by each of her parents , & susie was insistent in her assurance that whatever frigidness she still held for elio & his new beau ( which julianna didn’t bother to correct with wife ) , it in no way extends nor should be mimicked by her . elio , in turn , was quick to promise to jules that his love for her mother flamed in his heart to this day , but each of them are happier living their lives in the lifestyles they’ve chosen , with the people they’ve chosen .

there really wasn’t anything to do but swallow their words , & live by the sentiments they expressed . jules was both a mama’s & daddy’s girl in one , so to take their words as fact was an ignorance she allowed herself , even when the hurt look on her mother’s faced inevitably shone through in hidden moments .

but when jules turned seventeen , susie fell in love with a musician / designer named tommy lever she met while interviewing his collection for vogue , & the two fell deep , far enough to sway susie into moving to brazil during the spring season , away from her beloved manhattan loft , to be with him in his home ( the link is crucial to his characterization lmao , as lenny kravitz is essentially tommy lever ) . when she can , jules visits as often as she’s allowed ( always ) & has gained a room herself .

after that , however , the cycle between her various homes continued , well into her slipping teendom , & when the prospect of college crunched down on her , the choice seemed inevitable . nyu gained a classics & theater major for its class of 2019 ( she skipped the third grade , a fact she didn’t stop bragging about at that age ) , but in her senior year of university , the walls came crashing down .

what sin are they categorized under ? why ?

jules belongs to the sin of #pride through & through . after all , if there was one damning trait to send her straight into the pits of burning infernos , her prideful sense of self would be it . that’s not to say she’s arrogant ( nor am i saying she isn’t ) , but it’s more that she can’t take being undermined or allow the supposed undermining to go unpunished . she has a great deal of #pride in her own self worth & capabilities , though she’s usually loathe to make it known in plain terms , & if she feels attacked in that manner , she’ll completely close up . this often , as you’ll surely be able to tell , beckons problematic shit .

what got them sent to the academy ?

during jules’ senior year at nyu , she was contacted by her agent ( shared with her father ) & offered an audition for a leading role in a major hollywood studio film . throughout the years , she dabbled in theater & attracted a starring role or two along the way , especially in school productions , but the plan for success was always envisioned after college . when she got the call , however , she handled it with a happy - go - lucky fuck it sort of approach , & a week later , when she received the good - bearing call , there was no backing out , or so she thought . tentatively dropping out of the semester in which she would graduate , jules modeled the next few months of her life around the film , happily doing so .

yet , the first week into rehearsals brought down a cloud so dark she thought she’d choke under it . she overheard a few producers on their lunch break , talking about this - & - that - esque bullshit , but just as she was passing , one of them made a comment about the peralta girl , & how hollywood legacies are the roaches of the industry . how directors from the middle ages should just stick to ruining things behind the camera , not forcing a disaster in front of it .

that day , jules walked out of set & never took a step back in . effectively ruining her future career in the process , she ghosted all contact from the production & even went as far to jet off to brazil to regenerate with her mom as an escape . she couldn’t even pick up where she left off during the semester , & simply had to sit back & witness her classmates of four years graduate without her . her parents were furious , but the only thing she gave in return was a steely silence , refusing even turn a glare to her father . now , she’s been shoved into the hands of the academy , biding the days until she could return to nyu in the fall .

what do you think they’ll struggle with the most at the academy ?

tbh , the biggest issue for jules is the resentment curling at her core . at her father , the film , the academy , herself . right now she’s just in a foul mood & sick at being forced into glitterati rehab , but her #pride won’t allow her to fail , even if she wishes to do it just to spite everyone . she is a people person , however , & will almost definitely warm up , even if it’s just for appearances sake .

extra details : links you’d like to incorporate , wanted connections , literally anything else you want to include , etc .

wanted connections will be coming soon ! for now , please enjoy this authentic video of jules chillin in her fav corner of the world , aka italia , taken by her bff eli 😔✌️

#unholyintro #icb how LATE my ass is w this gd intro #cue y'all throwing the torches and pitchforks @ me JDJKSDJSKDJDSKJDSDS #⋆ ╰ ` 𝒹𝒾𝒶𝓂ℴ𝓃𝒹 ╱ 𝑖𝑛 𝑚𝑦 ╱ 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 . : dev .

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