#shoichiblacksurvival

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

(Yuki shows a video of the scene in Everybody Hates Chris where Jerome throws a brick inside a car in order to steal the brick in the front seat.)

Fiora:Oh, Everybody Hates Chris. Classic.

Shoichi:You know, that viralized out of context. There’s an entire generation that thinks this is from some random TV show, because no one watches it anymore.

Yuki:Don’t some cable networks still run it?

Shoichi:Like I said, no one watches it anymore.

#incorrect quotes #black survival incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #yukiblacksurvival #fiorablacksurvival #shoichiblacksurvival #i had to look it up to guarantee i got the right name #can't be sure! not after me and my american friend were just not on the same page on a genshin npc #and i screenshot it and she went 'no fucking way. that is NOT the name i see on mine' #or the other way around. anyway #source:cellbit on twitch/youtube

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Shoichi:I think the only Simpson that won’t have a criminal record by the end of this is gonna be Maggie. Hm, no. She shot Mr. Burns.

Cathy:Hey, spoilers!

Shoichi:It’s been thirty years. Were you going to watch that episode tonight?

#incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #black survival incorrect quotes #shoichiblacksurvival #cathyblacksurvival

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Shoichi:Never make fun of other people’s majors. That’s very arrogant.

Shoichi:And arrogance is reserved for law majors.

#immortal soul incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #shoichiblacksurvival

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Shoichi:I would like to take a break from this podcast to talk about our sponsor, Uno Freefire, which just came out,

Shoichi:And actually the contract wasn’t renewed so fuck this. (He takes the uno off the table and puts it aside.)

#immortal soul incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #shoichiblacksurvival

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Shoichi:And when we finally kill the gods, neither Heaven nor Hell will be waiting for them, because they created those to imprison us.

(Yuki stares back at him.)

Shoichi:I'm sorry. I burned my eggs and got mad.

#black survival incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #shoichiblacksurvival #yukiblacksurvival #source:malewifecombat on tumblr #dreading finding out what the fuck i named this duo way back when #japanese blades #not that bad. huh

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

(They’re about to watch a video.)

Shoichi:Oh, no.

Luke:Oh no. Oh, no no.

Cathy:What?

Shoichi:There’s a pan, and there’s a microwave. What do you expect?

Cathy:And?

Shoichi:Don’t say “and”.

Cathy:What’s wrong with that?

Shoichi:Get married as soon as you can, because you don’t have much longer to live.

#incorrect quotes #black survival incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #shoichiblacksurvival #cathyblacksurvival #source:scottonauta

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Chiara:JFC means Jesus fucking Christ, I feel like you shouldn’t use it if you’re not christian.

Shoichi:Gatekeeping blasphemy now, too?

#incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #black survival incorrect quotes #chiarablacksurvival #shoichiblacksurvival #source:tumblr

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Daniel:(playing Absurd Trolley Problems) “The rich man offers you 500 thousand dollars to pull the lever”- Whatever.

Shoichi:I pull the lever.

Daniel:I would not. In fact I would walk over and kick him before he dies.

Mai:I don’t want to save someone that would try to bribe you to kill somebody else. Shoichi, consider, what if you let it run him over and checked his pockets?

Shoichi:His assets are likely physical.

Daniel:True.

Mai:True. But he’s rich, he’s not going to pay you.

Shoichi:Then I’ll kill him.

Daniel:Then cut out the middleman and kill him right away!

Shoichi:He has the chance at having money, that’s enough for me.

#incorrect quotes #black survival incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #danielblacksurvival #shoichiblacksurvival #maiblacksurvival #source:jelloapocalypse

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

(watching a video of a flat earther talking to a science magazine director)

Shoichi:You know, the flat earther is way happier. Look at how flat earthers are way happier. People who believe- these people are way happier, look at this man’s happy face. Now look at the normal earth guy’s face.

Rozzi:And the guy who thinks it’s all a conspiracy, the... If, if 22 voto than 13, that’s it. He’s so happy.

Shoichi:That “than” is really something.

#incorrect quotes #black survival incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #shoichiblacksurvival #rozziblacksurvival

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Luke:71% of people would rather speak any language than have a million dollars. Wow, that’s cool. Speaking any language sounds like a life quality thing, could be cool as hell, really interesting. I know there’s translations but I’d pick it, you knowing it is cool.

Shoichi:And you can get a million dollars out of it.

Luke:And you can definitely get a million dollars out of it. But it’s work. But, you know, it’s not losing everything or getting a million, it’s you right now. So it’s really cool.

Camilo:What’s speaking any tongue worth if the only tongue I want is theirs in mine?

Luke:Damn.

Luke:

Luke:Anyway, 70% of people would rather become the fastest person on earth than get a million.

#incorrect quotes #black survival incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #lukeblacksurvival #shoichiblacksurvival #camiloblacksurvival #hitmen at night #i debated seriously which pronouns the person would be in the joke #before deciding they is just... the most fitting #if i wasnt tired i'd elaborate but philosophy

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Shoichi:(showing a video of a goat standing on its hind legs over circus music to Aya) I don’t know why Yuki sent this to me.

Aya:Ahh, get it out of here! I’m scared of that goat!

Shoichi:I’m gonna keep watching.

Aya:Nooo! I’m scared of it! Get it out of here!

Cathy:(leans in to look at it) What the hell...? That’s like a human.

Aya:(turning her head away, hands over her eyes) I’m not looking at it! I’m not looking at it!

Shoichi:(pauses it) Don’t worry, I scrolled away.

Aya:(turns back) Thank you-

(Shoichi puts the video back on.)

Aya:GET IT OUT OF MY FACE!

#incorrect quotes #black survival incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #shoichiblacksurvival #ayablacksurvival #cathyblacksurvival

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Shoichi:Every day I become more certain of the fact that I’ve committed some horrific crime and thus the universe placed you in my stratosphere as the eagle that comes every dawn to eat my liver.

Cathy:Listen to me.

Cathy:We. Are. Watching. Boss. Baby.

#incorrect quotes #black survival incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #shoichiblacksurvival #cathyblacksurvival

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Alex:”Teacher from UFIS buys drugs and complains about their quality”. Oh look, Shoichi, customer rights.

Shoichi:(reading the newspaper over his shoulder) “I felt ill, it closed my glottis”.

Alex:What’s a glottis?

Shoichi:That one sort of pistol.

#incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #black survival incorrect quotes #alexblacksurvival #shoichiblacksurvival

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Shoichi:One time I almost gave Adela a heart attack by saying I "didn't believe" in the Monty Hall problem, and I think that was probably the most evil thing I've done to this day.

Shoichi:I deadpanned through a 10 minute explanation of it and then dropped "oh, no, I get it. I just don't think it works like that." and I could feel how badly she wanted to kill me.

Mai:“The real world doesn’t work that way”? IT DOES, THOUGH! Host never throws out the good prize! You switch every time!

Shoichi:No, I don’t think so.

Barbara:Myth Busters did a segment on it.

Shoichi:I am smarter than the Myth Busters. I would look at a Myth and simply know, without any Busting.

JP:(barely containing his laughter) W... without... busting?

#incorrect quotes #black survival incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #shoichiblacksurvival #maiblacksurvival #barbarablacksurvival #jpblacksurvival

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Luke:Giving my pet chihuahua two kisses. Chimuahmuah.

Shoichi:Bad joke.

Luke:Sorry it didn’t make you chihaha.

#incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #black survival incorrect quotes #lukeblacksurvival #shoichiblacksurvival #hitmen at night

[blacksurvivalnostalgichanges]

Luke:”Criminals approach driver and steal pie made by his mother”.

Lenox:Ohhhhh, you don’t do that. You don’t do that.

Shoichi:That is very mean.

Shoichi:Stealing the credit card reader is far less harmful than that.

Lenox:Azuma, shut up about credit card readers!

#incorrect quotes #eternal return incorrect quotes #black survival incorrect quotes #lukeblacksurvival #lenoxblacksurvival #shoichiblacksurvival