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#shit hurted as a kid
inkskinned · 9 months
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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puppetmaster13u · 4 months
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Prompt 139
So. Dan has somehow found a small child. A practically newly born ghostling who had literally fallen right on top of him. A ghostling who had practically formed right above him, far away from nurseries and instead above him of all ghosts? 
Him, the Sunkiller? The Worldeater? Jordan Vladimir FentonNightingale-Foley-Manson? Son of Space and War? Bringer of the End?? Seriously, what the hell! Ghostlings shouldn’t even be able to form within other ghost’s Lairs, and he knew for a fact this wasn’t his own ghostling seeing as he wasn’t interested in such things. 
So here Dan is, feeling more confused than he ever has with a newborn ghostling clinging to him and sobbing in his arms about wanting his dad. What even is his unlife right now.
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roseworth · 1 year
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i just think that jason is the most unreliable narrator ever especially when talking about his robin years
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hearts4juzi · 11 days
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Tessa fucks me up dude can I just talk about her for a sec? Yeah? Yeah.
She loved those drones. She loved them because they were what she had. She felt sympathy for them when nobody else did. And I like to think there was a little bit of loneliness motivating her as well.
Her mother hated her. She was nothing to her. When her mother scolded her by saying "seems you still can't follow simple orders" her respone was "No, no no! Please!" BEGGING. Begging her mother to believe in her and be kind to her. She got chained up in her room (multiple times btw. At leas tthats implied. the hand she winced at and rubbed is the same hand the chain was on, which means shed be chained up long enough for it to rub her skin painfully. long enough to leave lasting pain.)
She is very connected to these drones, to the point where she kept all the error drones aroud because she LOVED them. She spent time digging them up. HELL SHE TOOK A FAMILY PHOTO WITH THEM DUDE...
Even when Cyn was creepy and scary, she kept her around. She'd rather lock Cyn up than get rid of her. and when n points it out, shes apologetic and hesitant. But we know WHY she did that. Even if it was kind of a sucky move, it was because she didnt wanna have to throw cyn out. and in the end that killed her.
Also she knows J well enough to know what sets her off (enough to. bite the shit out of a chain). She knows them. and she loves them.
I wish we'd gotten to know more about her an N. why is he so clearly her favorite? but thats not relevant ig
also her saying "I've only ever yakked to robots, J!" She has NO human friends. she has nobody to support her other than these robots. these robots who get treated like garbage by her family.
and then she has to watch these robots turn on her. Not just THESE ROBOTS but the three that she loved most. (also im going off what wouldve happened in ep 5 WITHOUT uzi, where n doesnt get out of the swamp, and nobody goes down to the basement)
V first, then Cyn, then J. And we KNOW she loved these three+N especially bc she took a family photo w them, interacted with them more often, and generally just seemed much closer with them.
and what does she get for it? killed. And also its implied by this screenshot that she wasnt ACTUALLY killed by cyn right then
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(the scientists, the sword beside her, the footprints, the way shes sitting against the wall, the expression she has. she totally just saw all that shit)
and she cant have been skyn bc the scientists wouldve known. the skinsuit wasnt exactly. hm. pretty.
which means she DID see her whole family+more slaughtered in front of her while she was powerless to stop it. She DID see J violently kill everyone around her. She DID see Cyn kill everyone. And she just has to. Deal with that. And despite all her efforts, the solver took over and cyn killed her. (im assuming tessa died somewhere around when n's mineshaft flashback was like i mentioned b4)
and all the while she was convinced shed lose N, id assume. based on the state of the other drone out there.
And honestly, i think what she got was worse.
also i am team "N knew Tessa wasn't the same Tessa he knew back on Earth"
The way he looked at her, and the way he was suspicious of her. He knew HIS Tessa would never treat a drone like this. Cyn has been known to have relatively shitty recreations of people at times (like Thad in episode two) But even so there was no way he could believe it was someone else (like. who would it be? he saw her blood he heard her voice like...) which is why he was so stressed after killing her (when he leaned on his sword and was breathing heavy, yk?)
he loved her and she loved him and now shes dead. just like everyone else he loved.
this isnt about n but like. idk if tessa could see him now i think shed cry. she loved him and all of them
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konigsblog · 4 months
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to cockwarm könig's huge dick would be a dream .. 💭
of course, it'll hurt at first. but after a while, you're familiar and used to the feeling of his big cock stretching you out. you're a mess when he moves slightly because any movement stretches you out more than what you're ready for :(
just want to fall asleep sitting on his cock... is that so much to ask for? ;3 🩷
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thebad-lydrawn-sanses · 3 months
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Ink why would you hurt the bad sans like that?? What happened to your kind, caring soul? Oh wait that's right.... you don't have one, and you never will.
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Blue: — Ink: pfft, damn, ok… Blue: NO! THAT IS NOT AN OKAY THING TO SAY TO ANYBODY! I UNDERSTAND YOU ARE UPSET, BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT INK FREQUENTLY USES HIGH AMOUNTS OF FORCE TO COMPENSATE FOR HIS INABILITY TO DEAL DAMAGE! THIS IS SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS, AND AS FIGHTING NIGHTMARE'S GANG IS A COMMON OCCURANCE, THEM SUSTAINING BAD INJURIES IS BOUND TO HAPPEN! Blue: (I WILL NOT SIT BY, IDLE, AS YOU INSULT MY FRIENDS) Blue: . . . Ink: . . . (awkward silence)
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magnetothemagnificent · 11 months
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Non-ADHD and non-autistic disabled people whose only idea of ADHD and autistic people is shaped by media depictions of a nerdy white boy or a quirky goth girl with low support needs: "Yeah ADHD and autism are destigmatized and we should ignore people with ADHD and autism in favor of real disabilities. I am very smart and progressive."
Lateral prejudice towards other disabled people will get us nowhere.
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exilepurify · 1 year
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it’s been four months since December 2022 and I’m still not over the fact that Reigen was apparently so haunted by guilt from that one time in S2E2 where he scolded Mob for eating too many french fries that it showed up in the super emotionally charged eyecatcher montage during the series finale.
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I wonder if reigen will ever find the closure he needs to free himself from the poltergeist of regret that obviously follows him around as a result of this incident. the confession incident really had reigen re-evaluating everything from the past three years.
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lasshoe · 1 year
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braimin · 2 months
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Sanji getting a dangerously deep gash on his wrist and Zoro goes so crazy Luffy has trouble restraining him. He’s trying to hold Zoro down while Chopper tends to Sanji and he’s like ‘Not only do straw hats not kill people, this lady is not worth you unleashing asura.’ Sanji is in the background yelling about how Zoro shouldn’t be trying to hit a woman, no matter what the circumstances are.
But Sanji does understand how Zoro is feeling. He probably couldn’t control himself if he saw Zoro take a bad hit from the back. But really, Zoro is going a bit overboard with this.
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s0fter-sin · 4 months
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soapghost
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jesuis-snips · 6 months
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LIES: Palestine is murdering civilians.
TRUTH: Palestine is expelling occupiers.
LIES: Palestine is attacking Israel.
TRUTH: Palestine is standing upon its rights in its own lands.
LIES: Hamas is giving Israel reasons to attack them.
TRUTH: Israel has already been attacking Palestinians without a reason for years. Every resistance counts and weakens Israel.
LIES: Israel is the victim.
TRUTH: Israel is suffering for its sins for the innocent children they have killed.
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darlingod · 1 month
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Nicasia was an “I’d kill for you” type gal while Jude was an “I’d kill, lie, die, spy, cry, pry, defy, provide thick thighs & french fries, for you” type of wife
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ssaalexblake · 21 days
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13 is an utter awful rat to Graham in It Takes You Away, she treats him horrifically as she loses her patience and therefore temper with him and never bothers to apologise for it, but nobody notices because she didn't raise her voice and it wasn't in a situation where she'd be expected to mother him, so it sailed over peoples heads. She lost her temper and she got Mean. She didn't get shouty, she got mean. She's not a yeller when she lets her anger loose, she's sharp and cruel and so very deliberate. And that doesn't track with peoples stereotypes of women, does it? Women are shouty and Shrill when they're angry, apparently.
She does it to the master in the timeless children, she's sharp and mean and cruel and never once raises her voice when she does it (she actually lowers her voice when she's being really mean btw). This did Not happen when you're thinking it did. Not in the matrix room. She had no idea she was scoring a hit against him there because she didn't understand what he was thinking (because he'd deliberately mislead her). It was in another part of the episode. She scores a hit and almost makes him cry and nobody cares or notices because it's not in a situation where she's supposed to be mothering him while he's all sad. He was being a jerk, she hit out deliberately below the belt and won that round, the end.
It's no that I think 13 isn't at times objectively shitty as a person, because she IS, she certainly was to Graham in the moment above. It's just that instead of looking at the Actual moments on screen when she sucks and dragging her for being shitty person, people have to resort to making up things to accuse her of that are Very gendered (as in, things women are going to get slammed for in society based upon sexist ideology) that never even happen, simply because they didn't pay enough attention to notice her being a crappy Person to drag her for that/they don't actually care if she's in general a lousy person at all.
Because they don't Want her to be a crappy person, that doesn't achieve anything.
They want her to be a crappy Woman.
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navree · 28 days
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i'm sorry but this is sending me into the goddamn stratosphere, if you send people to physically attack my mom, torture my sister, cut my six year old son's head off, threaten to murder my toddler, and then also threaten to rape my six year old daughter, i would be very happy and jovial in declaring war on your psycho ass for pulling that shit on people who literally didn't do a thing to you.
consequently, if i sent people to physically attack someone who never did me any harm, torture my sister who never did me any harm, cut my six year old nephew who never did me any harm's head off, threaten to murder my toddler nephew who never did me any harm, and also threaten to rape my six year old niece who never did me any harm, i would be very full of regret and sorrow for what i've done, because those are bad things that i did.
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arachnicas · 9 months
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Now if Hobie hadn't quit and bounced before the great chase, things would have taken a much darker turn. Imagine if he'd been on that train and seen Miguel hurting Miles. Lemme just say that nothing would have stopped Hobie from leaping high in the air, guitar raised above his head, and smashing it down hard on Miguel's back over and over again until someone either pulls him off or Miguel is too injured to hurt Miles anymore. Too much? Perhaps, but this is the same Hobie Brown who killed Norman Osborne with zero regrets.
Grown adult hurting a kid? Okay, get fucking wrecked.
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