01: Cheating On You
► Part of Heartbreak Playlist
Word Count: 847
Disclaimer: All characters and events in this story even those based on real people are entirely fictional.
Different night, same argument. Why did we become like this? we did everything to work this out but the spark is not the same anymore.
"She`s just a friend and nothing else why can`t you understand that!?"
you`re spewing the same thing again. Sometimes I want to ask you if this relationship still means something to you but I`m scared to let go. Am I selfish that I want to keep you for myself?
"Is she really?" you ask, why is it so hard to love you? or I`m the one who`s not worth it to be love?
"I`m done, we can`t keep going on if you keep doubting me" it`s coming from Xiaojun`s lips, his very own lips.
"Y/n, let`s break up" he`s scared, scared to face the confrontation, stupid to think what`s better for him.
"Don`t say that Xiaojun please look at me, don`t do this to us" I never beg for someone to stay but for you, I will kneel and beg just to make you stay.
"There`s no "us" anymore Y/n" he wants to let go, will you let him?
"It`s better this way" why do you have to say it? why do you have to end it?
"Please" for you I will cry a river, I would lie, I would kill, I would die for you but all you want is happiness and I know that you deserve it.
"Can I hold on for another night?" this is our goodbye, isn`t it?
waking up every morning and there`s no more "you", your hug, kisses, touches, voice, everything. Why is it so hard to forget you?
Why did you run away?
It`s been 1 year and I heard that you`re with the girl you told me not to worry about. Love is so cruel, isn`t it?
I saw you last night, is she making you happy? I hope she does. Our gaze met but why your stares hold something else? it`s wrong that I`m loving someone`s boyfriend that I used to call mine but I guess it goes that way for us.
It all started with a kiss on your Mom`s couch, a hot summer night, warm touches. Now, It doesn`t feel the same way anymore but it`s the same way he held you that night.
your love was everything
1 year has passed, does anyone holds you the same way I do? I tried to forget you but there ain't no lips like your lips. Thought I could get you back any time of day but when I did I never thought that I have already lost you.
Xiaojun thought that It'd be better when he found someone new but why does it feel like he`s always yearning for you? looking at the sleeping girl beside him, is it right that he wants it to be you?
Why did I run away?
Calling you is the only thing he can think about at this moment, nothing else, can he still be on his way?
Sitting on the balcony while heads looking up in the sky stars making it shine. Hair slightly going with the flow of the cold breeze.
Now, he`s right here in front of you, you want to be with him but he wants to be with her.
"Tell me this is wrong. Please, push me away" the taller man beside you spoke.
"You`re drunk Xiaojun, go home" a warm smile tainted in your lips, tears threatening to fall.
"I know I said goodbye and baby, you said it too but when I touch her I feel like I'm cheating on you" never knew what pain is until I realized it because now we`re both in pain.
I miss you badly, really, really, bad.
"This might be the last chance I can say this to you, I lo-" you don`t want to hear it. You love him, he used to love you but it`s not the same anymore.
"D-don`t" tears brimming out. He never knew that this one word can cause a lot of pain.
"Is it going to be like this for us?" he wants your answer, he wants it really bad. Is the pain he`s feeling now is the same feeling you felt the day he decided to break your heart?
"It`s better this way" despite the lump forming in your throat you never knew that you dare to say it. Breaking you is not my intention. Now, I want you to leave me and walk away.
"I`m sorry" your sorry won`t fix anything but it means a lot to me. Now, that you walk away. I hope she will give you the love you deserve.
"It`s still you Xiaojun" whisper and unspoken words.
Walking away, goodbyes, love, letting go, regret. It`s all pain but I want you to know that...
your love was everything.
‘Their love was strong, but the timing was wrong, and love decided that they didn`t belong’- S.t.
Tag list: @reiichann @leolo404
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Fishing The Moment Your Heart Stopped Mine Changed Forever Nam Here Shirt .besteestores Strictly regulating what your child eats. Of course you should monitor/have a say in what they eat, and limit certain foods. I’m saying I’ve seen it happen too many times where a kid has too many limits on their diet and it messes with them from a psychological standpoint. For example, I had to enroll a child at one of the What’s more,I will buy this daycares I’ve worked at who was on an extremely strict vegan diet, and even from there it was limited. No soy because the mom didn’t want to support the soy industry, things like that. The child was given his vegan meal at lunch one day, and he looked around at everyone else’s hamburger lunches, and threw his lunch down and said “I want a hamburger, with ketchup and everything on it!” Being vegan is your choice, and it should be your choice as an adult. Children know when they’re treated differently in school, and being exposed in this way can mess with their mental health. Let them eat the school lunches if possible, that way they can eat what everyone else is eating. You can give them soda or fast food as a special treat, once a month or so will not do major damage if you let them know it’s an every once in a while thing. Ok, you’re creating more work for me as a daycare employee, and you’re creating future assault charges against your child. Just don’t do it. Your kid will be a more respected member of society if they don’t partake in the fighting. Tell them to take the high road instead. This one isn’t taught as much as it was when I was young, but I still hear it from time to time. Teach them to talk to the right strangers. The stereotypical kidnapping scenario where a complete stranger lures away a child does still happen, but it’s far more likely they will be harmed by someone they know a family member, a teacher, a family friend, etc. Teach them to be comfortable going to security guards, store employees, etc. Odds are, no one is going to spontaneously kidnap a child that approached them in a mall because they lost their mommy and need help. Make children aware of dangerous situations, such as a man who says he wants you to get in his car and help him find his dog believe it or not, these situations do still happen.
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Fishing The Moment Your Heart Stopped Mine Changed Forever Nam Here Shirt .besteestores Honestly, it’s up to my children how they will want to talk about me when I’m dead (and when I’m alive too). I would hope that they will be honest with their kids and that they will have many positive things to say about me. Not because of my ego, but because if they have positive memories, but because it would means that I did a good job as a mother and they will be happy, well adjusted human beings, and good parents because of that at least in part. I’m sure that they will have some negative things to say about me, as I;m for sure not perfect, but I hope that they can discuss my defects with affection, because my defects were not as bad as to override all the What’s more,I will buy this love. I know that I told my kids some things about my mom when she was not at her best, that she probably would have hated hearing. But my kids know I loved my mom dearly and I still miss her, with all her defects, many of which were inevitable results of being part of a certain generation and their ideas about how to best raise kids. From the start, I wasn’t very needy. According to my mother, I rarely cried as a baby. When I was able to walk and get around on my own, she felt comfortable leaving me by myself while she went to school for a few hours. This made me become very self-reliant early on, and instead of being told not to do certain things, I learned by experience. After an incident where I burned my hand on the stove and nearly set the house on fire, she started leaving me at daycare centers instead. I was gleefully cruel to others, especially to other children. It just seemed to come naturally. It made me happy to see them cry and scream. I was frequently in trouble for being aggressive, hurting other kids, and biting the daycare workers, and for that I got kicked out of a few of the centers. My mother and father disagreed on many things, physical punishment wasn’t one of them. They tried a few different kinds of physical “discipline”, but it’s hard to teach a kid not to hurt others by hurting the kid. I didn’t learn not to hurt others, but I figured out how to lie pretty well and did so often to avoid trouble where I could.
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Saying ok to the end.
To goth Blige told me that I confuse her with how I talk about wanting to date and wait until marriage but also have a shady past of struggling with celibacy. She also said I have unrealistic expectation of men, which I translated to my standards being too high. Bring up things of the past like how I dated for looks briefly, I began to get agitated. Although she was trying to understand I realized something. I didn’t want to explain. I don’t want to explain. I don’t want to talk about what I want. I don’t want to type out specifically what I want in a man just for someone to tell me that ain’t how marriage works. In reality, I am planning for the marriage I want, for the person I want to be with? Not for the marriage someone else has or someone else reality check.
I have thought about this a lot and have realize that I don’t want to have to explain myself. I want to be able to say I want to date and leave it at that. But also, I am reminded that I can’t talk about it anymore. This part of my life must remain mine, a piece I don’t share, a piece I don’t disclose. Call me naive but I think that when I find it that it will feel right. My mother always told me that when you get meet the person you fall in love with, it feels easy to be with them. You instantly feel yourself. It doesn’t feel like a hassle to work on your relationship. That is what I want. I want the thing that feels easy. It is not easy but to be with that person just feels comfortable and fine. There is flow.
My mom had it with my dad, even if it didn’t last. My aunt had it the first time she met my uncle, grandma had it with grandpa. Love exists. Easy fun wild passionate, not just sexually passionate but emotionally passionate love exists. I want it. I want the boring times with someone. I want the normal days and the small moments and tiny jokes. I don’t want extravagant love. I lay in bed and watch tv shows filled with messy fun normal love. Sure it’s fake. It’s all fake, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t reality in the fantasy. Every moment happens smaller over time.
When I share that hope I have of finding someone who gets me, who is secure and honest and healthy, I am met with doubt from the one person I thought would cheer me on. But that’s the difference. I saw broken love and whole love and I could tell them apart. I knew what to reach for. I have friends in happy healthy marriages. They arent perfect, I don’t idealize them for being perfect. I idealize them for being friends. They married their friends. They love each other because they laugh and share and do life. That is the love story I want because that is the love I have seen in my friends. It’s not a myth or a lie. It’s honest and godly.
I am not perfect. I feel pretty separated from God but I have a secret hope that fear can’t kill. A hope for the perfect to me marriage that I want. That is fun and healthy and normal and mine.
My husband is kid. And considerate but strong. He is a truth teller, he seeks justice in love, kills hate bd spite and prejudices, he cries out in the depth cor the broken heated and hears the moans of the heavy ans he weeps for the lost snd abandoned. He knows the orphans by name and loves them all. He can cook a s clean and be there for me when I need it snd he can let me show up amble I am and be as I am. Messy and disheveled, lacking in nothing that God does not fix or make whole.
We can talk about my past and have heart to heart clef conversations about the journey towards health and purity and healing and revitalization and Gods handy work. He is realistic in his love and his expectations. He sees me for as I am not as he wants me to be. He loves me regardless of my flaws and because of them.
My father gave me a dad that loves me unconditionally and loves me for me regardless of but also because of who I am and I am believing that he will give me a husband that will love me the way that my dad loves me, the way that my Father God has loved me all along. That love cannot just be described or painted in a picture or put in a text or on paper. That love I feel in my bones, it creaks around my heart, it nestled in my spirit, it warms in my souls depths and leaves footprints all around.
It loves to burrow inside and hide where no one can see or touch it. Or change and shift it. It refuses to die or diminish. Even with my unrealistic expectation it thrives on truth, on an unspoken promise, an image it thrives there and lives in it. This promise like a plant has bloomed, it remains watered and grows still ever so quietly. I cannot share this. I cannot find the words to say how I feel, what I want, what my heart has hope for.
Blige once asked how I knew that God would give me a husband and a baby, and that it would t be like what I thought. That God doesn’t owe me those things. He does not in fact owe me those things but he promised them to me when I swore to myself I would never love or. Have a family. He gave me that and a promise and I have to hold on to that. I cannot cast it off for the sake of others. Even those who would wish me well because their wellness can kill me promise. I am Sarah fighting to be an Abraham, fight to hold on and to remember and to believe. And like sarah, I tried to make many ways in the path, like Abraham I tried to make something out of nothing to obtain a good thing. And like them I learns that God does not work in shortcuts. He works in wholes not halves.
I keep wanting Blige to dream with me. But she cannot. No one can truly. I must hold this dream for myself, on my own. I have those who wait and pray in the wings for me and with me and they know my heart and the heart of God. The know the journey of freedom and wholeness and health. They walked my journey and came out on the other side in Gods promise. It wasn’t easy but it was worth it for them because they knew that God would provide and be consistent. I hold that hope that God is consistent. God is persistent and God is a God who sees and hears the cries of his people.
I don’t pray regularly for my spouse. But I hold space for him and hope. And I lay him Gods feet knowing I cannot determine the tide or the times.
Pete Davidson One Shot
Request: how about one with Pete Davidson and the reader where she gets pregnant very unexpectedly and is not happy at all, and Pete gets mad/upset over her reaction since he wants the baby? It can end with them making up of course and embracing the idea of motherhood! But you can end it how you like :) 💜
I was watching dumbo and now it’s got me all 🥺 lol was wondering if you could do a one shot with Pete or whoever you want where the reader sings the song baby mine to their child and then whoever is just in complete awe over what an amazing mom the reader is and it’s just super fluffy? 🥰
You and Pete bathing your newborn baby for the first time
Warnings: mentions of possible abortion
You were crying when your boyfriend Pete got to your apartment.
He walked in and immediately ran to your side, pulling you onto his lap.
"Babe, what's wrong? What happened?"
Pete asks, rubbing your back to help you calm down.
You say in an almost whisper.
The room was quiet for what seemed like hours until Pete finally speaks.
"That's amazing! We're going to have a baby!"
He says excitedly, his face dropping when you start to cry again.
"Wait, what's wrong? This is a good thing right?"
He asks, moving you back off his lap to the couch.
"A good thing? Pete, I'm not ready to have a baby. We aren't ready to have a baby. We haven't even been together for a year yet! How is this a good thing?"
You ask, not really understanding how he sees the current predicament as a positive.
"So, you what? You don't want to have the baby then? You would really do that, Y/N? Get rid of our kid?"
You flinch at his words.
"I don't know but I sure as hell am not going to throw a fucking party."
You get up and head to your bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind you.
A few minutes later, you hear the front door slam and throw yourself down on your bed.
Weeks pass and you and Pete have hardly even spoken since that day.
'Can we talk?'
You finally text him one day.
You sigh, knowing he was still pissed.
Instead of getting nasty with him, you decide to send him a picture of your latest ultrasound.
You text back and almost immediately, your phone begins to ring.
"Our baby. Yeah. She's getting pretty big. Really healthy."
You confirm, placing a hand on your growing bump.
"I'm coming over."
Pete says before hanging up the phone, showing up at your apartment half an hour later.
You open the door and his eyes immediately fall to your stomach.
"Look, I know that I freaked out. I know I hurt you when I said I didn't want a baby. That I wasn't ready for it and I honestly still am not but we made this baby. She's our daughter and ready or not, she will be here in a few months."
You say, before he can speak.
Pete pulls you into his arms, carefully of your belly and holds you.
He says, the raw emotion in his voice.
Nearly five months later, you and Pete moved past all of the drama and were now in a great place.
You gave up your apartment and moved in with him just before your baby girl was born.
She was absolutely perfect and beautiful and despite the feelings of terror you had when you were first pregnant, you were so happy you changed your mind and embraced the idea of motherhood.
Two days after she was born, you and Pete brought her home and even though you were exhausted, you couldn't help but be so happy.
"I think its time for someone's first bath."
You say as you take the tiny baby girl from her daddy.
"You want some help?"
He asks and you shake your head with a smile.
"No, thank you baby. We've got this."
You take the baby into the bathroom where the small tub was set up in the sink and carefully fill it with water before getting her undressed and setting her in it.
She begins to fuss a bit and you start to sing to her while you carefully wash her.
'Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part, baby of mine
Little one when you play
Don't you mind what you say
Let those eyes sparkle and shine
Never a tear, baby of mine
If they knew sweet little you
They'd end up loving you too
All those same people who scold you
What they'd give just for
The right to hold you
From your head to your toes
You're not much, goodness knows
But you're so precious to me
Cute as can be, baby of mine'
Pete watches from the doorway happily.
"See baby, all better."
You coo to her once she is all clean and wrapped in a towel.
"Here, daddy will get you dressed for bed."
He says as you hand her off.
"We really did make a beautiful baby huh?"
You say as you sit on the bed while Pete puts pajamas on the baby.
"We really did."
He smiles, leaning down to give her a sweet kiss before he picks her up and she cuddles on his chest.
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