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wtf-amiru · 2 years

Note

Prompt

comforting hugs

*dumps all these writings on you* idk man, I couldn't decide and ended up writing too many things(TM) so....sorry it's so dang long. Also sorry it took 9 years, I uh...just a lot of ideas, was hard to pin down just...three lmao

(Timeline: immediately after you get G'raha to the first. Like 1st weekish?)

She snaps awake sucking in air like she just burst out of water, suffocating, terrified. She whimpers quietly as her hands rifle through her empty bed. "Raha....raha!" Her tone is quiet and panicked as she looks around. She was alone, in the dark of her room in Mor Dhona. He wasn't there, she was sure he was supposed to be. Sure he had been when she'd gone to sleep.

Had it all been a dream? Surely if he had been here there would be some evidence but she saw nothing. It had all been a dream. He hadn't come back from the first. They'd....tried? "I'm sorry Mistress Fhey..." she hears Urianger's voice echo through her head, sees Y'shtola's apologetic face flash before her eyes, the twins unable to look at her as her friends broke horrible news to her.

Her breathing reaches a fever pitch and her pulse is racing, drowning out the sound of anything else in the room. She's hyperventilating and sobbing now, convinced his return was a dream she'd had, unable to separate nightmare from reality in her peaked panic.

The sound of her own racing heartbeat drowns out the sound of G'raha pushing back through the door, but not the sound of his staff falling and hitting the floor as he notices her upright and sobbing in bed and hurriedly pushes the door back closed. Her head snaps up to him and she screams seeing him, was he real or another cruel dream. "Shit." He cusses, trying to land the glass of water he'd gotten up to get on the table as he flies past it on his way to her. "A'miru, it's okay, hey, come here." He lands next to her in bed and she scrambles away, still surprised by his arrival and unsure if her eyes can be trusted. She doesn't want to be haunted by this ghost.

He'd never seen her like this, never seen her so.....scared. He'd spent a century chasing down the woman in the books he'd read, from years after her passing, a warrior, a hero. The friend who defeated darkness for him in the tower. Who stood strong against Garlemald time and time again and who'd defeated light itself and the ascian Emet-Selch in The First at his behest. After so long chasing such a legendary hero, and after actually succeeding in The First he sometimes forgot these people...this fabled hero...was just a person like he was.

He stops himself from forcefully pulling her into his arms, she was clearly hyperventilating and scared, so he crouches by the edge of the bed. Close enough to her for his comfort but not so close as to make her scramble away again. "A'miru, you're okay." He says quietly and as calmly as he could, he wasn't quite sure how to handle this yet. It was clearly some form of panic attack.

He watches her look at him like a scared animal and his heart breaks a little bit. He was sure no one saw this side of her, not like this.

Her hands slowly move towards him and she touches his fingers, then his hands, then a hand on his shoulder, his neck, his cheek. She moved fast once her hands were on him, like she was making sure he was real before throwing her weight at him as she broke down into sobs again.

He was real. He was real. He was here and he was real and she hadn't dreamt it and he was saying her name.

He exhales as she hits his chest, finally able to scoop her up out of bed.

He brings her over to the padded bench at the foot of the bed and sets her down, crouching before her. But as soon as he settles in front of her she just scrambles down into his lap again, refusing to be separate from him. "Okay, well...we can sit on the floor I guess." He muses as her arms come around his waist with surprising pressure.

When her grip only gets tighter and her sobs don't slow he exhales. "A'miru," he says calmly, trying on the same tone he'd used when Lyna was young and had had bad dreams, "you're having a panic attack and I know it feels scary but you're safe, I'm here, we're safe in Mor Dhona. I know it's hard but breathing will help it all stop. Just breathe, just breathe." He coos at her and pulls her head against his chest, his hand running up and down her back slowly.

He feels her arms slowly relax a bit, and then tighten again, and then relax like she's fighting herself to calm down and he frowns. For some reason he'd thought things were done when he made it back to The Source, happily ever after and all that. He was back and appeared to be healthy, all his years in the tower and in the first seemed to have no ill affect on his body here. It had been hard and excruciating work but he had made out like a bandit. Back to his old life AND now a full fledged member of scions, officially invited to all the adventures he could stomach, and the woman who'd saved his life and kept him afloat in a world apart, to his surprise and his some 300 years apart, appeared to still have feelings for him and wanted to pursue them. He'd selfishly thought that was the end of it. He never thought about her separate journey too much, he'd read the books about her accomplishments. He knew all her doings inside and out. He could recount a previous history of her actions throughout her entire legacy. But they'd changed history. Only some of that had actually come to pass, and that that did had clearly had a deep and lasting affect on her. Of course it did, it was stupid to think that it wouldn't. He'd seen the dots and never bothered to connect them. He kicks himself for it now.

He scoots a bit so he can lean against the foot of the bed with her in his lap, resigned to croon and coo at her until she was herself again, until whatever fear this was had passed. Hopefully she would also tell him what it was that scared her so much as to scream at his arrival. He could still hear the terrified wail she'd let out when she'd noticed him.

He flicks a spark of fire at a few candles nearby to warm up the room, the cool moonlight through the window had made it feel cold in the small room. And he hums, low and quiet, unused to the action anymore but finding calm in it now. He hums a Corvosi lullaby from his youth, the only melody he could think of in the moment.

What feels like hours later he feels a hand rest gently on his chest and her head shift from where it had been resting to lay flat against his chest. "A'miru?" He says quietly, running his fingers through her long hair and feels her nod. The tension he hadn't realized he was holding melts out of him as he's given confirmation she's actually hearing him again.

He shifts, sits up and peels her off his chest, his shirt now damp from her tears, so he can look at her. Her whole face was swollen from crying, her eyes bloodshot and lips chapped, cheeks rubbed raw from wiping tears. "Hey..." He says quietly, her head between his hands, eyes staring unabashedly at him, refusing to look anywhere else. "That wasn't fun," her head shakes in his hands, "can you tell me what happened?" And her head shakes again, "okay, that's okay, you don't have to. You know you're safe?" Her head nods this time in his hands "okay, good. You're safe and I'm safe and we're going to be okay." Something about his words makes her pull him closer again, to squeeze him and he feels the cool wetness of tears on his chest again. "You're okay, hey, let's get somewhere more comfortable than the floor, alright?" She doesn't nod or shake her head but she lets herself slide off his legs so he can stand and help her up again. As soon as they're both standing she thuds against his chest, arms tight around him as they slide down his back and he feels her take a deep breath finally.

Her reactions, he had a feeling in his gut. "Does what scared you....have something to do with...me?" He tries not to fidget with his own hands, still rather shy and uncomfortable when the subject turned to him; hundreds of years of deflecting any and all questions about himself had done little for his conversational skills on the topic. She stills a moment before he feels a nod against his chest.

His brows furrow and he pulls her face up in his hands again to look at him, genuine concern on his own as he thoroughly looks over her face. "What happened, A'miru?" If she refuses to answer again he'd let it go, he was not going to try to pry answers out of her again, he did not need them that much but concern forces him to ask just one more time.

She maintains his eye contact as she tries to gather up the words she needed and he watches tears well up as she replays it for herself reluctantly. "You...were gone...you didn't make it back...it didn't work...or...maybe the whole thing hadn't been real" Her mouth tightens and frowns as she tries to not cry again in his hands and fails miserably.

Oh. Oh that was so much worse than what he had thought. She'd woken up scared and alone and had doubted her own memories. Her scream at his arrival made tragic sense now. "Oh, A'miru, come here, I'm so sorry." He pulls her in again, wrapping his arms tightly around her, burying her head against his chest as they stood in the middle of the room. "I won't leave you alone again at night, if I have to get up I'll wake you or..." He thinks a moment, his staff had been in the room but she'd not noticed it in her panic, "or I'll leave something of mine in bed with you so you know-"

He's fully cut off and taken aback as she casually slips her top off, breasts hanging bare before him, and then slides her hands up under his grey shirt. "A'miru, I don't think this is the time for that..." He says gently but doesn't stop her from pulling the shirt up and over his head as he watches her arms stretch up to his height, pulling her soft round breasts up as she does.

"Just give me this." She says quietly and pulls his shirt over her head. His face softens as he understands and she hugs the shirt around herself. It wasn't clean and needed to be washed, but it smelled like him and that's all she cared about. His soap or his sweat, she didn't care, it was a physical token she'd struggle to mistake in a panic and maybe the smell of his sweat and dirt would be something she couldn't argue against. Those were real, they wouldn't exist without him, they were tangible.

He smiles and pulls her back against him again. "Okay" he says and smooths her hair down before pressing his lips against her head.

She's not expecting the crash when it hits her, and she'd been in such a heightened state that when it does hit, it hits her hard. They'd stood holding each other for a while, the sound of his heartbeat against her head calming her down, when suddenly her eyes were closed and her knees were bending. She snaps back awake with a gasp and moves to steady herself again but he's got her. G'raha's warm arms catch her and pull her back up easily, he'd been watching her eyes drift for a minute now and while it did seem to hit her fast she was already pressed against him.

"Let's go back to bed, hm?" He feels her arms tighten around him before he feels her head reluctantly nod. He was surprised how comfortable he was with her being completely nonverbal.

Sure, it meant something was very wrong and that was not a good feeling, but A'miru had been quiet when he'd met her. She had been closed off and cold, he swore she hated him then, actually. But he'd been fascinated and excited to meet and work with a real adventurer, and one of such renown too. He couldn't help himself. Days spent picking and bugging and nervously talking over the silence until she finally reacted; retaliated in kind to his pestering and threw one of his own books at him. She'd stormed away before she let her scowl break into a smile but he'd been certain he'd seen her mouth struggling to not curl up in the corners as she did.

Her not speaking was familiar ground for him. He'd navigated this before, albeit, hundreds of years ago for part of him, mere months ago for another part.

He gets her to drink the water he'd originally gotten for himself, she does so without protest and lets him pull her back into bed. Something about the way she acted said she'd had similar experiences before and was maybe a little more used to accepting help than she was when he left. That was complicated for him to sort out. It hurt to know she'd had the experiences, a number of times sufficient to blur the reluctance away, but was glad that she had clearly had healthy support through it.

She hesitates before curling up next to him with her head on his arm like she was thinking about doing something else. He lifts her hand and fidgets with it a moment before lacing his fingers through hers and holding them to his chest. When she moves their hands so hers is against his chest and she can feel the gentle thump of his pulse he sighs, "Oh, c'mere then," with a smile on the realization, and pulls her up onto his chest. He's rewarded with a tight squeeze and her ears tickling his neck a moment as she wiggles them into place.

The steady thump of his heart directly in her ear did so much to ground her and she starts to really feel the exhaustion of such a big event hit her. Her limbs felt heavy and she wasn't sure she could fully open her eyes if she tried. She struggles against herself, not ready to fully let go yet. She'd slipped back into sleep and gone right back into her nightmares in the past, she didn't want that happen again.

G'raha on the other hand was still fairly awake. He'd unintentionally taken on to waiting for her to sleep before letting himself doze off and she seemed to stir every so often. Like she was fighting against sleep. He sighs. The books he'd read, the stories, epic fables written about her experiences....none of it was this. She stirs again, shifting her head on his chest, and he wraps his arms tight over her. "A'miru, I'll be here when you wake, I promise. You can sleep."

She's still a moment before she finally speaks, "I don't want to have another nightmare." Her voice sounds so....different than he's used to. Small and afraid, tucked low between the folds of his shoulders and the blankets. "I know," he says, "and I can't promise you won't, unfortunately. But I'm here, and I'll be here if you do and we'll sort through it together."

"Promise?" She wasnt fidgetting with anything in particular so much as she was just...unstill, despite the exhaustion pulling at her.

"Here," he shifts, pulls at her until her face is in his hands again and she has to look at him. "I promise. I will not leave you alone again tonight. So long as I am able, I will be here when you wake." She closes her eyes in his hands and nods, tucks her chin down and lays against his chest again. "Thank you," she says quietly and he can feel the stray tear she fails to blink back get wiped away in haste as she takes a deep breath, something resigned in the way she does.

Within minutes she's asleep against him again, exhaustion finally claiming her as the last bit of tension is flushed from her and he feels her relax fully in her sleep. The weight of her limp and relaxed, piled on his chest, helped ground G'raha as well.

He never thought he'd actually be back here, it wasn't part of the original plan. He'd never meant to make it back from the first, he'd meant to stay there, to end there, so they could go home. A'miru had given him a piece of her mind, and fists, when he'd first revealed that detail. He had some amount of debt to owe Thancred and Urianger still for holding her back in that moment. She'd been ferocious when he'd said it, throwing herself bodily at him and managing to get in a solid hit before she was peeled off of him while cussing and telling him just how stupid he was. He was beginning to understand why he was, perhaps, the only one surprised by her actions in that moment.

They wake late in the morning to a knock at the door and they're teased for being late by Y'shtola. Eyebrows are wiggled and G'raha can't help but stammer because of it before she treads off again.

"No more nightmares?" G'raha asks as he walks back over to where A'miru was sitting in bed rubbing her eyes and she shakes her head. "Good, let's go find some coffee, hm?" He smiles and pulls her out of bed before he starts dressing. "Mm, I'm uh...I'll pass today..." That's enough to make G'raha stop changing and look up; just enough out of the ordinary to pause at, "Oh?"

"More often than not it makes things worse....what happened last night I mean." She pulls her shirt over her head and tucks it into her impossibly short skirt. And G'raha watches, somewhat struck that she already had so much figured out about this thing that happened. It'd happened enough in the past that she knew all of this. He felt conflicted and it showed on his face.

"You have to stop looking at me like that." She says without looking at him as she pulls on socks. G'raha double takes and runs his hand across his face, physically wiping the look away, "uh, wha- what do you mean?" He resumes dressing himself even though he knew well enough what she was speaking of.

"Like I'm a baby bird, or an injured puppy, or something for you to fix and pity." She stands and walks over to him , hands gentle and warm on his abdomen. "A lot has happened, not all of it good, most of it out of any of our control. This echo of mine," she sighs as he pulls a shirt on and moves her hands to accommodate, "makes it very easy for what happened last night to happen, makes it very easy to get confused. It's not always you. Most of the time, yes, it is. I won't lie, last night...that's been the worst one but some of the time it's the war, or Aymeric or Nidhogg or Ysayle, Arenvald, Fordola, Yotsuyu...a lot has happened..." she repeats and blinks back the longer list of names and events that continues to scroll through her mind as he let's her pause, not wanting to interrupt; it was not often he got to hear her speak in this way, so open and clearly- she'd grown.

She breathes, puts her chin against his chest as she looks up at him. "I've been through a lot, we've been through a lot. None of it fair. No amount of feeling bad is going to fix what happened, or prevent the pain we all still feel as a result. So please don't look at me like if you'd been here I'd be different, or if you hadn't left none of this would have happened. Things happened the way they did because they needed to, the first needed you. Only you could have-"

She's cut off by lips pressed against hers as G'raha kisses her. He knew enough how the first had needed him, had decades of knowing he was supposed to be there. He was ready to be needed elsewhere; ready to be needed by her. And she was right, of course. No amount of feeling bad, or guilty or like there was some way to have avoided all the bad if he'd only just been here to help was going to change anything that had happened.

His hands slide under her and lift her, finding the wall behind her quick enough as her legs wrap around his waist.

All he could do was be here for her now, he realized. Those scrapes and scars in the past were a part of her now and feeling sorrow or regret that he couldn't have prevented them was nothing constructive and only anchored him in the past.

Hang work. They were already late, what was a little bit more time? They had lives together to be thankful for. To revel in and enjoy each other in this rare moment of calm in the world before chaos or uncertain doom crashed in on them again.

They arrive after the morning meet up is well over and G'raha definitely doesn't turn bright red when Y'shtola comments that she woke them up late over an hour ago and postponed the meeting even, and still they missed it.

(timeline: right after 6.0, Thancred's first stretch away with Urianger. Can't be too long after Mothers and Husbands since she's still on crutches)

The state that G'raha found the house when he got home left him puzzled.

A box of pencils, broken and scattered across the floor in the livingroom. A small pile of papers strewn across on the coffee table. A partially damp t-shirt on the floor of the hallway. Two more shirts on the floor of the bedroom. One crutch in the bathroom next to a broken sandal and a ripped pair of pants. He found the other sandal on the floor of the kitchen next to the other crutch and a graphite smudge on the porch step.

He walked slowly through the house trying to piece together what happened. It didn't look like the place had been tossed, it looked like someone fell through the house. It was strange, and worrisome, because A'miru was gone as well, both of her crutches still in the house, and her shoes as well.

A brief check in at The Last Stand and the Annex but no luck, she wasn't there either, although she had been to The Last Stand earlier apparently, to pick up a hot chocolate to go. He climbed the fence west of town and checked the abandoned park that was Thancred's refuge but no luck there either.

Another fruitless link pearl page to her and he huffed. She could be so reckless sometimes; she was still healing from her fight with Zenos and the Endsinger. She was capable of getting around, and stubborn to boot, but to leave her shoes and crutches at home was an odd thing he couldn't figure out.

He'd checked all her usual haunts in town and something told him the only other place she'd go in Old Sharlayan, the hot chocolate being the vital clue. The only place she'd struggled to walk away from and not yet returned to. And so he followed his feet down below ground. Down to Labyrinthos and then further down.

Without pause he found himself at the aitiascope door rather quickly and the way the lift operator nodded at him he knew he'd find her down there.

She'd seen the dead reappear for them on their first journey down there and he’d seen her hesitate at the door on their way back.

The elevator thunks at the bottom as it stops and the guard that opens the door motions to an area not far from the door, "we tried to send her back up but..." G'raha smiles and puts a hand on the guards shoulder, not many people could have stopped her even injured as she was.

Across the way, against an outcropping of crystalline rocks was a small form curled up against them, small items scattered around her, sleeping soundly surrounded by a dull glow.

Quietly he treads up to her, the glow surrounding her shifting and swirling blue and orange and teal and magenta and lavender, it looked like a swirling galaxy but it dissipated as he approached until he was crouching next to her and only the lavender remained. He watched it part and fade before him as he reached his hand towards her, touching her cheek gently. "Miru, time to wake up." Her brows furrow as her eyes blink open, her face a bit confused as the last bits of glow drip off her feet and dissipate. "Raha? What are you doing here?" She watches him sink down and sit next to her, pulling her under his arm and he chuckles. "You're down here, still injured and without your crutches, or shoes apparently-"

"I tried, they broke."

"I saw," he smiles down at her as she snuggles into him. “Regardless, you’re asking me what I’m doing down here? You know this isn’t a park, it’s dangerous down here.”

“I’m not stupid, I have my daggers, I’m close enough to the door to get to it if anything happened.”

"What's all this for then...?” He motions to the scattering of small rocks, pressed flowers, a smattering of notes on papers and a handful of small item’s she had crafted. He had a guess but didn't want to assume anything.

"I don't have a graveyard to visit, not easily or without traveling. Sometimes I just want to talk...to them..." He feels her fingers fidget at one of the tassels on his scarf and he softens at her words. She'd lost so many people in her journey, people she loved and people she barely knew and G'raha was confident she remembered every one. And here was a place where, sometimes, the dead just showed up; this is where they went. The aetherial sea. He understood why she'd want to be down here.

"What happened?" There were still pieces missing to the puzzle he had found at home.

"At home?" She feels him nod and exhales slowly. "Would you believe it if I said I just tried to put normal clothes on?"

"Perhaps, after some explanation." He chuckles and it's warm and comforting to her.

"I just wanted to get dressed and come down here for a bit while you were at work. I dropped my shirt in the toilet G'raha, I couldn't even get a shirt on today. It's a miracle I managed to get the hot chocolate even half the way here without burning myself with the way things went."

G'raha waits, knowing what's coming.

"My pants ripped in the wash, I dropped my shirt in the toilet, the next option was too small once I got it on, the next too hot so I said fuck it, I'll go in pajamas. I spilled my pencils getting some papers and then immediately slipped on them. Broke my sandal trying to catch a falling crutch when I went to go wash the graphite off my hands, immediately gave up on that. And then I decided to just go with what I had when I accidentally catapulted one of the kitchen knives across the livingroom from the kitchen. It's behind the sofa."

G'raha blinked in disbelief. "That is...quite the series of events. You know you can ask for help-"

"I'm so tired of needing help to do everything Raha, I just wanted to do one thing on my own. I should have been able to do this."

He opened his mouth to protest, asking for a little bit of help didn't mean you still weren't doing the thing on your own, but he didn't want to belittle her independence or her unfortunate luck getting down here. "Well..." He slides behind her and pulls her close. "Next time a series of events like that happen, you tell me and I'll come and I promise I won't help you at all." There's a small laugh from in front of him as her arms pull his in tighter, "Promise?"

"I may even bully you."

"Oh, what a treat." She smiles and let's his arms rest in her lap as she feels his chin on top her head.

"I'm sorry you had such an unfortuitous day, darling."

She feels the weight of him rest his head on hers and moves her eyes to look up, as if she could see him up there, "I suppose it happens. Sometimes it feels like it all piles up into one day, however." His arms are warm, a safe place to hide, and she lets herself feel small in them as they enjoy the reprieve being down here alone in the quiet.

"Yknow" comes quietly from A'miru after some time, "I didn't think anyone would show up, but I had kind of hoped...." She trails off quietly, feeling suddenly selfish. It wasn't for her to decide what the dead did, if they showed up down there or if they even cared to, she knew that. The chuckle she hears from G'raha surprises her, "I think you might have napped through their visit, hun." She turns suddenly to look at his face, slight confusion on her own. "Or rather, I think some of your friends down here were watching over you while you slept, you had a glow." She relaxes again, head against his chest, "Oh."

"He was here, I think, one of them." G'raha's voice was quiet, almost trepidatious. "Hades?" She knew it wasn't him as soon as she said it. Despite how grumpy he was about it Hades was nearly incapable of showing up anywhere without it being some big display. Through almost no fault of his own Hades had a flare for the dramatics, quietly showing up to watch over someone sleeping was not his style. "No, the other one." And she nods against his chest, "Hythlodaeus." She feels a nod above her in confirmation. "There were a few, I think, but he stayed the longest when I got here."

That felt right, Hades was probably working and complaining about it, or finally resting, begrudgingly of course.

"Raha?" She pushes up off his chest to look at him as his eyebrows raise in response. "I'm sorry I went back in time and came back with two ghost husbands." She shrugs, not husbands but close enough to count; and they weren't hers, they were Azem's but she felt her affection for them. "That can't be easy to deal with, as silly as it sounds? Especially when they occasionally do actually show up and also when one of them has tried to kill us, and you specifically, so many times when he was alive. The whole thing is rather tied up..." His face cracks with a smile as he brings his hand up to her face.

"Miru, you needn't apologize for feeling things, or for things out of your control. There are parts of your soul that are older than most continents I've been to; how could I fault you for it having had a life at one point? I know what happened in Elpis and I thank you for being honest with me, and that's it. That's all I ask for from you, honesty. That you choose to give me your honesty, companionship and love?" She feels him nuzzle into the side of her neck, his face hot against her skin and she could imagine how red it must be. "It's a dream a care not to wake up from. Hey, none of that." He chuckles as she quietly wipes a tear off her cheek. "I'm here because of you, I'll continue to be here because of you, until you tell me otherwise, ghost husbands or not."

"How are you so patient and understanding." She buries herself amongst his layers of clothing as his arms press her close once more. "300 years pining in a tower, mostly. Does wonders for your patience." He laughs as her hand hits his chest in response.

She was so far removed from where she started, from the hungry streets without a home or a friend. Now surrounded by people she trusted and loved from different timelines and worlds she sometimes found herself struggling to accept it all, found a need to be solitary again. In truth, that was maybe more why she'd found herself down here in such a state, so determined to get down here and be alone without being alone.

"If I help you make a small display of sorts down here later just for this type of thing will you come back up with me?"

There's a moment of silence before she answers. "...only if you piggy back me back to the house." G'raha couldn't stop the laugh the bubbles out of him if he had a mind to try. "I don't have my crutches and I-"

"I will carry you my frail and fragile maiden." He interrupts as he stands up from behind her and offers her his hand in a grand show. She tries to hide her smile with a scowl and fails, falling into laughter as he pulls her gently to her feet with a deep swooping bow. He takes a moment to tidy up the items she had brought down here before helping her back into the long lift back up, and follows through on carrying her back home, stopping to pick up dinner on the way.

"That never got explained." G'raha points to the graphite smudge on the porch on their way in. "I fell on my ass, G'raha. I still had graphite on my hands when I left."

"Oh," he quickly moves past it taking in the tone of her admission and moving on and into their new little home, trying not to laugh overmuch.

Blankets are acquired and soon, despite her protesting and yelling, her feet land in G'raha's lap, a pillow under her knees and takeout resting on her stomach as he laughs and rubs her feet just to spite her protests.

(timeline: mid heavensward, not long after getting thancred back. this one's a direct continuation of this one and i'm throwing it in bc weird and awkward old man hugs?)

She'd explained a little, it was hard for her in her state to string coherent words together. Mostly she'd sobbed into the toilet in Thancred's privy amidst emptying the contents of her stomach into it and refused to let him touch her at all. She barely let him hold her hair back, but had given up at his insistence at this one thing.

Thancred had found a futon tucked into the closet, intending to give her the bed but she'd stumbled out and grabbed it from him, tossing it in the corner before curling up facing the wall on it. He found a bucket, just in case, and put it next to her and a pitcher of water on the table near her; he'd never, ever seen her quite this miserable. This was a level of low she'd never hit before in the past and his concern over the reason for it was palpable.

He didn't sleep that night. Not because he was worried, because he was kicking himself. He'd noticed her behavior had been...off since his return. She shook more than usual, which was not at all, he'd chalked it up to the cold in Ishgard, and she was always tired and, if he was being honest, he'd noticed the weight she'd lost as well. Why the hell didn't he say something, how long had this been going on for. He thinks back to dragging her out of that valley after G'raha had to leave, how she'd drank at seventh heaven then too, but she'd had the rest of the scions there to help and distract her then. This time she'd lost everyone but a teenager and an accountant. God he was an idiot, he'd chosen to stay away, leaving her stranded.

Come morning there's a gentle knock on the door and when Thancred opens it he finds an Aymeric who looks just as tired as he does. "I didn't sleep either," he says quietly, letting him into the room.

She's still asleep on the futon, still facing the wall and Aymeric's face reads concern clearly. He wants to scoop her up and whisk her away, put her in a bed of silks but he'd tried that already, being her knight in shining armor hadn't helped anything.

They settle at the small table in the corner and speak in hushed tones. Aymeric explains how long this has been going on. How they started their relationship with smiles on their faces, and how hers had faded so quickly. Thancred explains the events preceding the banquet, told him about G'raha, her first love and her first huge heartbreak and the picture finally becomes clear for Aymeric.

She hadn't talked about G'raha at all, hadn't spoken his name once. But she'd woken up crying before, been cold and distant while he kissed her, her gaze had fallen on him less and less and tended to stretch off into the distance more. He'd tried to settle into a crater left in her heart without knowing it was there. And that's not even factoring in the rest of her found family vanishing in one night.

As much of a mess as this was he still had genuine feelings for her. Still loved the way her eyes squinted when she did smile, infrequent as it had become, missed her hands in his hair and the ring of her laugh.

Politically this could ruin him, Estinien hadn't been exaggerating things when he'd chewed her out, she could end his career and plunge this city back into chaos if this ended badly. The Lord Commander courting someone who was not an Ishgardian noble was pushing the boundaries of their conservative city enough, her standing reputation as the hero of Eorzea making up their difference in local standing, turning out to be a reckless drunk would do nothing to assure their confidence in him. In too deep was an understatement.

"She stayed outside those doors for three days-"

"Three days?"

"And she tried to stab me when I finally dragged her out"

"That's honestly the least surprising part of this story."

A silence falls between the two men as all the information is finally laid out at once, a silence that's broken by a groan and the sound of stirring. Aymeric glances at Thancred who nods and slips into the hallway for a moment to afford them a little bit of privacy.

Aymeric finds his way over to her futon on the floor, sitting next to her pillow as he brushes her hair out of her face. Her hand comes up to bat his away but Aymeric easily catches it and presses it to his lips instead as her eyes blink open and her brows furrow. "Aymeric?" The last person she wanted to see right now, too much guilt flooded her. He just nods and holds her hand to his cheek, warm and soft. "What are you...why are you here?" He exhales and lowers her hand "Why? Why am I here? Did you think I was just going to turn away? Let you just not come home one night and let that be the end of it? Why do you think I'm here?" She'd honestly not thought that far in advance.

Her stomach turns at the thought of him doing just what he described and she has to reach for the bucket near her as her body contracts in an effort to empty it's contents once again. She comes away sobbing, cold tears dripping off her chin. "I'm so sorry, Aymeric" she sobs out as he pulls her head into his lap and runs a hand over her back.

"A'miru, can I ask you why you came here last night instead of coming home?" But she just shakes her head, that was too many words to have to say. "Is it because Thancred had the rest of the story? Knew the real reason you were out there?" Yes and no, but close enough to nod, she could only guess what all Thancred had told him as she pulls herself off his legs and back onto the futon. The shame was too much and she caught herself wanting a drink to blur the feeling away, curling in on herself as she tried to push it down.

Aymeric's hand is on her back again, so big and so warm and she's tired of crying but everything was just so much.

"I'm going to say a few things and then you can go back to sleep and rest, okay?" When there is no visible response he continues. "Estinien told me what he said last night and as harsh as he was he's not entirely wrong. That being said I can't deny the feelings I have for you, I've grown to care deeply for you. But" he takes a breath and let's it out slowly. "I know there's a hole in your heart that I'm not filling. I'm not G'raha and I understand, now, that you were not afforded the luxury of time to heal." Her face shoots up as he says his name. How long had it been since someone said it aloud? How long has it been since she thought about him unfiltered by alcohol? Long enough that she'd half convinced herself he was just a story living in her head. A hell she'd created for herself as punishment. Long enough that hearing someone else say it aloud was shocking. Aymeric looks down at her surprised look with softness, "Thancred told me everything, I'm sorry. I feel like I'm finally seeing the whole picture for what it is."

She pulls her knees up to her chest and tucks her head down, she looked so small next to him. Not the larger than life warrior of light the people knew, just a girl who'd had a lot of the people she'd loved and all of the stability she'd needed ripped away from her.

He could see a future with her, here, in Ishgard and was willing to help her stand on her own again. He'd seen a glimpse of her when they'd first met, been absolutely entranced by just how different she was. Unafraid and bold, confident in her movements and absolutely deadly in a fight, she was unlike anything he'd ever seen before and he'd done his best to court her at an appropriate pace but admittedly found himself rushing things in his infatuation.

"I've never...done well...on my own." Her voice is quiet. She'd been backed into a corner by the consequences of her own actions, and while she was there she figured she may as well spill everything to him; he'd always been honest with her. "Thancred found me when I was 14, stealing in Ul'dah and I haven't really been alone since. I made his life hell for a bit before he dragged me to the rogue's guild in Limsa to get me out of his hair. He's the closest thing to family that I have. That's more why I ended up here than anything."

"You don't know any of your family?" His hand is on her back, rubbing gentle circles into it that helped ease the ache in her stomach as she shakes her head. "No, I grew up mostly in the local hostels. The 'orphanages' of Ul'dah were more a work force for the Monetarists who didn't want to spend money paying actual workers than they were orphanages and I learned very quickly that they were not kind employers." She didn't talk about her time before Thancred very often to anyone; these were secrets only 2 other people were privy to.

"I'm so sorry, that must have been hard." She shrugs, it just was what it was. She'd learned to stop dwelling on that misfortune when she'd learned it did nothing to help her in the long run. "Without people to guide me....sometimes all I know is how to find trouble. The scions were a good thing for me, as much as I might've hated that title hanging over my head sometimes." It wasn't that she'd never talked to Aymeric about her past before, just not these parts. Not the parts that went hand in hand with her falling down this hole.

"Aymeric, I'm sorry..." there's so much she wants to say but none of it feels right so she leaves it at I'm sorry and just turns her face down into his leg.

There's a soft sigh and she doesn't see his peaked brows or delicate frown. "I won't say it's okay, it's not and this needs to change, but I will say I care for you and am here for you, if you'll let me be. I know it hurts, but I'd really like to know more about him and what happened one day. Locking that pain away is clearly not helping, perhaps letting it out would be more constructive."

She wasn't sure what to say, thinking about him hurt. She wasn't sure she'd even be able to say the words without the aid of liquor anymore. She'd never dreamed Aymeric would ever want to hear about him, either; couldn't imagine why he'd want to be told about the person who found her heart and then took it with him when he left like it was nothing more than a trinket to remember her by. It makes her stomach turn and she curls into herself more in an effort to make it stop.

"I won't force you to do it, but I think it would help. Keeping poison inside doesn't make it go away-"

"He wasn't poison!" She bites back, ignoring the nausea that flows through her as she does. Aymeric freezes, realizes his mistake and exhales as his eyes close. "I'm sorry, poor choice of wording, you have to know that's not how I intended that. I simply meant keeping that pain in and to yourself...is not going to help you heal."

She knows she misinterpreted what he said and understands in that moment that he's probably right, but can't bring herself to say anything. And then she has a reason for not speaking as this new wave of guilt only adds to the nausea and she has to reach for the bucket again as acrid bile spills into it. She pulls away crying and curls into herself on the futon.

Aymeric's never seen her this bad before. Faced with the consequences of her actions like this she was struggling to gain any footing, just falling deeper down the hole. "A'miru please, let me help you." He pulls gently at her until she's against him again, "you shouldn't have to" she chokes out and his face softens. "And you shouldn't have been accused of a crime you didn't commit, shouldn't have had everything ripped away from you. A lot of things happen that shouldn't, that doesn't mean we shouldn't help when we are able." Her voice cracks as she sobs against him with her head on his leg. He was offering her a tether, something to hold on to in the storm, while she healed and maybe beyond that, she wasn't sure. She felt trapped in a way that was both terrifying and comforting. She had done wrong and the most powerful person in the city was currently offering to help her, saying yes to that outstretched hand was a commitment she'd have to see through and like this she was not her confident in her abilities.

With a small groan she pulls the rest of herself into Aymeric's lap, the cold discomfort of his armor stilling the room as it tried to spin around her. "Hey, there you are." His voice is relieved as his arms come around her. He'd learned very quickly that she wasn't always very verbal, couldn't always speak the things she felt, this was a somewhat familiar action, this was her acquiescing.

There's a quiet knock at the door before Thancred gently pushes through it. He's relieved to see A'miru in Aymeric's lap, even if she is still crying, it meant she'd taken at least one step. Baby steps were the only way forward in this.

"Hey," Aymeric pulls her chin out of his chest so she has to finally look at him, "I have a meeting to get to but I'll let the staff know to expect you, if you want to, my home is always open to you." She closes her eyes and nods as he presses a kiss to her forehead. "I'll come home." She promises quietly to him. It's not much, but he takes her word and holds onto it; something about her voice was different this time. Defeated but resigned, like maybe she finally would come home, to his home, for good.

He runs a thumb over her cheek before sitting her up off of him and taking his leave, saying a few words to Thancred on his way out.

"You know he'd marry you if you let him."

"I'm not sure how making things worse for me is going to help but sure, please, kick me while I'm down. I'm sure it'll really help me stick to this promise I've just made to a man who has no business having to deal with this kind of shit. No, please remind me how fucking GOOD he is."

She hadn't meant to yell at him. She'd just meant to tell him to fuck off but all of a sudden words were tumbling out of her and tears were on her face and her hands were shaking.

Thancred watches her face go from angry to blank as her eyes unfocus and start spilling tears as she visibly dissociates in front of him. The stress and shame pulling her into herself.

"Miru, hey" he rests a hand on her back and when she doesn't respond he tries to pull her against him, tries to pull her back out of herself but she won't move. He's never seen her get so lost in her own head. "I'm sorry, it was a stupid thing to say in the circumstance, you're right, but hey, hey, c'mon, Miru." He slides his hands over her much smaller ones, rubs his thumbs over the back of her wrists as he pulls her hands closer to him.

Her head slowly looks up at him finally, eyes wide and silently dripping tears down her face as she focuses on him. "There you are," he breathes in relief and pulls her in a fraction of a second before sobs rack her, just enough time for her to muffle her screams of shame and sorrow and rage against his chest.

After she's cried and screamed her throat raw, after he's tidied her up and sat her down and talked to her, put boundaries and rules in place, after she's splashed water on her face and cleaned up after herself Thancred walks her home, to house Borel.

They're at the end of the street when Estinien steps out and A'miru freezes. She stands glued in place as he closes the distance and strides past them without sparing a second glance and her head follows him past. "C'mon," Thancred urges her as she watches him leave and pulls her along.

She pulls him inside with her, doesn't want to be by herself right now, doesn't trust herself. He stays with her, floating in the room as another body, another presence, she wasn't alone. He wanders the house once she's drawn a bath and is occupied. Finds the liquor cabinets and typical secret stashes, brushing servant staff off as they try to stop him. "I'm not trying to rob the guy," he explains as he hauls all the bottles he found into the kitchen, "This needs to be kept somewhere secure, the rest of what's in the house that I didn't find as well. A'miru is not to have any of it, no matter what she says. Hide it so you can tell her it's gone if you must, I don't care." There's a low murmur of agreement and he turns and leaves.

He ambles back up to where he'd wandered off from and finds her sitting quietly on the edge of a bed in just her towel, hair wet and stringy and stuck to the tops of her shoulders. She looked so small and young again, so much more like that scrappy kid he'd caught in Ul'dah all those years ago just trying to stay alive than she was the warrior of light she was just last month.

"How are you feeling?"

He's leaning in the doorway and she doesn't look up at him as she lets out a deliberate sigh.

"Like shit but less like I want to die than I did this morning."

He knew she meant the nausea but even her face looked shocked that she'd said that out loud. "I mean, not like that..." she drags a hand down her face and then back through her hair, stopping when her fingers get immediately tangled.

"I know," Thancred says quietly as he treads over beside her cautiously.

"What am I doing here, Thancred? Aymeric doesn't need this bullshit." Her eyes search his face a brief moment, for what she's not sure, answers perhaps. "A'miru, do ever think about what YOU need?" Thancred's reply is faster than she'd expected and she opens her mouth to respond but doesn't have one so she just sits for a moment before quietly closing her mouth again.

"Didn't think so."

"That's-...not fair...I put myself in this position. I wouldn't need help if I hadn-"

"Twelve above A'miru, he loves you. Like infatuated fairy tale love. That's why he's looking after you and volunteering to put himself in this position. I have a mind to say you love him too but you might just be dense, I don't know."

Her brush comes hurdling through the air at him and rattles against the wall behind him as he ducks out of it's way.

"Fair. But I'm right and you know it."

"You're an ass is what you are"

There's a beat of silence as Thancred exhales through his nose slowly.

"A'miru you're allowed this. You're allowed to be happy again."

"You're one to fucking talk, Thancred!" She bolts up from the bed and storms back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. Once inside she has to reach for the counter to steady herself as angry tears ran hot down her face and nausea bites at the back of her throat again.

Thancred exhales the tension in him and rubs his forehead as he sits himself into a chair. Perhaps he pushed just a bit too hard this time. Perhaps he took the wrong approach. That....was not at all what he had expected and the ferocity of her words really and truly silenced him.

She sits against the door furiously wiping tears off her face as they drip silently. Thancred hadn't stayed in Dravania to stay safe, he'd stayed because he wasn't ready to face the possibility of Minifillia being gone, she was sure of it. To hear him preach at her like everything was just so simple was infuriating; they all had shit to work through after what happened.

After what seemed like too long she pushes through the door of the bathroom and strides over to the closet without looking at Thancred, her ears pressed flat against her head.

He just listens to hangers scrape along the clothing rack as he stares at his hands in his lap trying to figure out how to fix whatever he'd done. He wasn't even sure why she'd gotten so angry, what she had yelled about. He'd also lived at the bottom of a bottle and spent nights with nameless strangers, maybe it was about that. Maybe he'd pushed his way of coming out of that dark place on her? He just couldn't be sure.

"I think you should go." He hears quietly from the closet. It sounded like she was so far away. "A'miru I-" He looks up just as one of Aymeric's long linen shirts bounces down around her, grazing the back of her knees as she flattens it out and shakes her head. "I think I'm all full of sage advice for the day. I need some time alone to sort through some things before Aymeric gets home." She opens a drawer in the closet and busies herself looking through it even though she needed nothing from it. The idea of standing still and telling Thancred to leave felt terrible so she kept herself busy and looking away. Even as she heard him get up and silently leave.

He pauses at the door, thinks twice before just saying "you know how to get ahold of me if you need to."

She nods, not even pretending to be busy anymore as her hands fall still inside the drawer and she refuses to look at anything else. The door clicks closed behind Thancred as he leaves and everything that was holding A'miru up breaks. More tears fall down her face as she pulls Aymeric's shirt up around her in an effort to comfort herself, letting the smell of his soap try to relax her but it's fleeting.

The sobs come as the silence around her gets louder until she hears the floorboards creak behind her. "I thought I told you to go." She sniffles, wiping tears and trying to save face but it's the rattle of porcelain that makes her stop.

She turns to see, not Thancred back at the door, but the kindly old butler in charge of staff at the manor with a cup of tea in his hand. "Apologies, Miss Fhey, I meant only to bring you tea, you seemed...distressed."

She'd forgotten she wasn't actually alone in the house and wipes at her face as she stands up from the floor, eyes still red and swollen. "Oh, thank you, Gaspard, I uhm-" still don't know how to speak to the staff here, she thinks to herself.

"May I speak openly, Miss Fhey?" Gaspard asks patiently and waits for A'miru's head to nod before he speaks again. "I mean only to say you look like you could use a hug, miss." His wrinkled old face only reads warmth as she looks at him cautiously and surprised by his forwardness.

She nods and let his frail arms wrap around her. It was...different. It wasn't a warm and tender hugs like she'd gotten from Aymeric , or anything she had felt before. Years of wisdom radiated from Gaspard and when he said "we all have our struggles, you can get through this." She couldn't help but believe him. Something about the years behind his voice said he'd seen this before and knew it was something someone could overcome.

"Uhm, thank you Gaspard." She finally pulls away awkwardly, wiping the remaining moisture from her cheeks. "Master Borel has ever instructed us to treat you as family, Miss Fhey, so family is how you will be treated. Dinner will be ready upon Master Borel's arrival as usual. Please do not hesitate to call if you need anything, you know that." He hobbles over to the door with his cane, turning back before leaving. "Even if that thing is just another hug." He says with a smile before closing the door behind him again and disappearing away.

#askies #ALL OF THEM #i'm so #sorry #for all of this #it's #a lot #but hey #i couldn't decide and i make my own rules #a'miru's always been very tactile #because she so often is nonverbal and quiet #with bursts of speech here and there #so she gets a lot of comfort hugs these days #i was actually thinking about this the other day and how she doesn't really speak speak unless she's fully planned out what she's saying #and still feels like it needs to be said aloud #and especially during hwd and stmb she spends a lot of time just being like #i don't know how to verbalize the fact that i care about you yet so i'm just gonna hug you and hope you understand #by like shb and ew she's gotten a lot better at knowing how to speak how she feels and does it more often but is still very tactile #she always will be #this is the number one reason her and estinien are the bestest of best friends and almost never actually talk to each other #but that's the opposite of this prompt #that's bordering on physical violence those two lmao #windupanson #these are all very personal for a'miru i feel like a bad parent lol #panic attack #just in case

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star-sim · 3 months

Text

"is your girlfriend single?" ☆ enha hyungs

☆ youtuber! non-idol! bf! enhypen hyung line x fem! reader ☆ summary: when your youtuber boyfriend finally shows you for the first time to his audience. ☆ genre: fluff, jealous and whipped boys... kinda dumb lol ☆ warning(s)? no! just fluff!! and attempts at humor :( ☆ reblogs and comments are appreciated :D also not proofread lol

maknae ver.

heeseung ☆

i like to think that hee would be a gaming youtuber

posts maybe like once or twice a week, has about 3 million subs

he sometimes likes to stream, just to get to know his fanbase better and to just hang out

normally he texts you to let you know abt it, but today he totally forgot

you came home from work and you saw his office door closed + heard the sound of his loud ass keyboard clicking.... my guy beats that shit UP atp

that was normal tbh

you were probably like "my little keyboard warrior ❤️" and went to go wash up in your shared bathroom and bedroom

you were going to just pop into his office, say hi and maybe give him a kiss

meanwhile... heeseung is taking a break from gaming, just talking to the chat

he definitely didn't notice you coming home... probably bc of that bigass head set that's creating a fucking valley in his skull... (btw have u seen those videos where gamers take off their headphones and they have a dent on their head 😭)

anyways you open the door, ready to say hi, but heeseung is visibly surprised, looking like a deer in headlights

you look at him, then at the back of his monitor, then back at him, then at his monitor

"should i come back another time...?"

hee's already taking off his headphones, leaning back into his gaming chair--

"no no no!" he grins, glancing at the chat, which is now blowing up

"who is that?"

"yooooo"

"HEESEUNG IS THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND?"

"gf reveal?"

"she sounds so pretty"

heeseung pats his lap, "cmere, baby, i wanna introduce you to the stream"

of course you comply <3

you take a seat on his lap, his arms slithering around your waist

it takes you a moment to take in what's on his screen: obv there's your reflections, then the chat boxes and announcement pop-ups

the way that the blue-purple light of his screen reflects onto your skin, casting a glassy gleam over your eyes-- and the way that your pretty eyes look at the monitor so curiously, lips parted ever-so-slightly-- made you look SO beautiful

heeseung himself has to angle his head in a way so that he could see your face properly.... and a soft grin unknowingly began to spread over his lips

he presses a soft kiss to the crook behind your ear, before looking back up at the stream

"hey guys," there's a clear smile in his voice, "this is my girlfriend, [name]."

you take that as your queue to introduce yourself

honestly, you're a little shy and softer-spoken now, bc you're not in front of a camera nearly as often as your boyfriend is, "hi.. i'm [name], and... uhm..." you give the webcam a clumsy, awkward (but very cute) smile, "i'm hee's girlfriend"

the chat blows up immediately

"SHE'S SO CUTE"

"i've never seen heeseung look so soft"

"[name] you're so pretty :)"

"this might actually be one of the most beautiful women i've ever seen im not joking guys"

"chat is she real... bc why is she actually GLOWING oh my lord🧎🧎🧎"

those comments make you a lil shy and bashful, and you feel your cheeks kinda warm

you just giggle reading them, unable to contain your smile

heeseung, on the other hand, is feeling prideful

"that's right, guys," he squeezes your waist, puffing his chest out, "my girlfriend is so beautiful" "i know i'm so lucky to have such a wonderful woman as my girlfriend"

he's overjoyed by all the compliments you're getting... it makes him so happy that he can show you off and that everyone gets to see that YOURE his gf

in fact, he's reading a lot of them aloud, and following it up with "i agree with you"

like he'll read "'[name] is absolutely stunning, like wow..." and heeseung nods and is like "i agree with you, xXdragontittysucker23Xx 🤓☝️"

but then a comment stops him in his tracks...

"heeseung is your girlfriend single by any chance?"

his face drops immediately

"hey... who in the chat asked if [name] is single?!"

he's actually offended, putting a dramatic hand on his chest and scoffing

"how rude!" heeseung pouts against your shoulder when even more of his viewers begin saying similar things

"[name] are you free this weekend"

"hi [name] (i'm 6'2 and drive a lamborghini and save orphans every weekend)"

"heeseung get out i'm trying to have a moment with your girlfriend"

you're actually such a cutie, becuase you're just giggling as more and more comments come trying to rizz you up

"what do you have to say for yourself?" heeseung asks you half-sulkily and half-defensive, pushing his face into your neck and pouting

your eyes glimmer with a little mischief, wanting to tease your boyfriend a little bit

"i mean... " you pretend to think

and then someone named jungkooksleftpinkytoe562 says in chat "please [name] i'll rock your world so hard just one chance"

you laugh

"jungkooksleftpinkytoe562, i'm free tomorrow at 5, you should take me out on a date" and you wink playfully and laugh again

chat blows up like

"WOAHHHH"

"AYOOO????"

but if there's anyone that's scandalized, it's heeseung lee himself

"HEY! HEY! WHAT?!!?!" he's squinting and scrolling so fast in the chat to find jungkooksleftpinkytoe562 that you can hear the scroll-wheel oh my god

"you guys better back off," heeseung says, pulling you even closer. he presses a kiss against your shoulder, then gently clutching your face to kiss your chin, "she's mine!"

heeseung's eyes narrow, "especially you, jungkooksleftpinkytoe562..." your bf gives you a quick peck on the lips, "i'll kick your ass if i see you flirting w my girlfriend again >:("

im gonna be fr... none of his viewers care

in fact they keep flirting with you

and the fact that you keep playfully flirting back adds fuel to heeseung's flames

but he'd never blame you <3

he's pouty after the stream lol (but he knows it's all in good fun) so kiss his cute lil pouty lips

i think this definitely goes viral on twitter

like #[name] or #heesgf trends for a good 48 hours

jay ☆

my guy is a cooking channel

i think jay would try to be more private abt his personal life to his viewers, just given the nature of his content

though, it's no secret that jay has a s/o to his viewers, and i think they'd know your name

but yk how at the end of cooking videos, after the chef cooks, they try the food...

i think in a few of his videos, there's clips of you and him trying his food, but while jay is usually in-frame, you're either behind the camera or just barely in the frame so that most people have really only heard your voice and seen your hands

the comments are usually tame, like

"[name]'s voice is so pretty!"

"i want someone to look at me the way jay looks at [name]"

"my parents!"

but one day

for one of his subscriber milestone specials

let's say 2million subscriber special

jay does a cooking challenge

it's "cooking a meal but BLINDFOLDED"

he starts the video explaining the parameters of the challenge and what he's doing, etc

but then he reveals that you're behind the camera to supervise him

obv bc he's in a kitchen with ovens and knives and he's blindfolded...

throughout the video, you kind of just guide your bf

"omg jay move your hand or you'll cut your fingers off!"

"turn on the stove-- no the other way!!"

at some point, jay is cutting up onions

and normally he's a pro at it, and you never question his abilities

but because he can't see and he's using the knife so quickly, you're freaked out like "babe!!!!!! that doesn't seem safe!!! 😰😰😰"

so then behind the camera, you're heard fussing about it and it's cute lol

then you take it upon yourself to help him

you go behind him, slithering your arms around him so that your hands were places on his

you guide his hands to cut the onions slowly

"babe, i got this," jay says, but tbh he's not complaining because he gets to be close to you :D

"nonono i don't want you to die!!" you say, and it seems like you're more concentrated on cutting the onions than him

this is the first time that your face is in-frame for one of his videos lol

when you're done, jay tries to kiss your head, but he can't find you so you raise yourself on your tippy toes for him

its a quick peck but you giggle and place a kiss behind his ear

when he's done cooking his little dish, it's time to garnish and decorate it with sauce

jay's plan is to use the sauce to write "happy 2 million subscribers" on the dish

but because he's blindfolded, the writing is so fucked up

it's completely unintelligable and just a glob of sauce 😭

and then he tries to draw a dick on it but it's also super fucked 😭😭😭😭

when you see this, you burst out laughing so hard

and this makes jay laugh too

anyways the video goes up, it's very cute and well-received

now.... the youtube comments are still tame

"[name]'s laugh is so cute!"

"i screamed when she popped into frame... she's gorg"

"the way that [name] looks at jay when he's blindfolded is everything"

"[name] looks so beautiful"

but uh

it gets crazy on twitter

as it always does

"jesus fucking christ if a woman like that wrapped her arms around me and kissed me i would fall to my knees and die happily"

"jay CANNOT handle allat.... but i can!!!! me next!!"

"god... when is it my turn to have a pretty woman kiss me"

"[name] i'll treat you so well PLEASE"

i think the clip of you helping jay cut the onions kinda goes viral, just because you look so attractive doing it

like the way you popped into frame as you rolled up your sleeves and the way you smirked at jay's inability to see... ZOOWEE MAMA!!!!!

and i think this eventually makes its way onto tiktok

like pretty standard videos of ppl being like "JAY'S GIRLFRIEND HELLO???" with comments like "she's so beautiful," etc

jay honestly thinks its funny

he knows that people are joking and he sometimes actually plays along with them

he loves that people are appreciating your beauty (but he loves even more that he's the only one that actually gets you)

when you first go viral, you're kinda shy about it, but jay just pulls you close, kisses your cheek, squishing them, and says "my baby is so beautiful"

youre like "jayyyyyy stoopppp"

he only chuckles and starts to pepper your face with more kisses, despite your lil whines for him to stop

but then while you two are cuddling one night, you laying on his chest with your face in his neck

a tiktok appears on his fyp

its just some teenager being like "hi does anyone know if jay's girlfriend is single?" while showing off a black BMW in the background... and then jay's directly tagged in it

he takes this as his opportunity to strike back

he stitches that tiktok, and makes his own tiktok in response

it's just a really short video where jay shows you all snuggled up against him completely silent before he just says "No, she is not single. 😐."

the caption's like "i'm taking [name] out on a date tomorrow shhh don't tell her"

everyone thinks it's really sweet tbh

jake ☆

truthfully i think jake would be into youtube commentary

something like danny gonzalez or jarvis johnson

he looks at troom troom videos and makes fun of them lowk 😭

speaking of, troom troom or troom troom - adjacent content usually has crazy ass lifehacks

so for one of his videos jake is testing out troom troom life hacks

and for one of them, he has to drill a hole in a skateboard or something and put pasta noodles in it idk i'm pulling this out of my ass but its not surprising if this is a legitimate troom troom life hack

unlike heeseung and jay, jake's viewerbase doesn't rlly know about you

again, given the nature of his content, jake never rlly found it necessary to mention his personal relationships

anyways jake is in the middle of your living room floor drilling a hole into a skateboard and putting spaghettie in it when you come home from work and see that shit

jake is in the middle of talking to the camera but the moment the door cracks open he trails off

he gives you that smile-- the one that a puppy gives when their owner catches them doing something they shouldnt aw

when you take in the sight before you, you let out a laugh, not noticing the camera rolling

you place your things down and slink toward your boyfriend

"what's going on here, jakey?" you ask him with a cocked brow, loving the way he chuckles nervously

you crouch down beside him, poking the skateboard-spaghetti abomination with your foot

"i'm testing out troom troom life hacks" he sounds defeated lol

anyways you give him a kiss on his cheek and leave him to his own devices

in the final video, your little interruption is only like 15 seconds bc jake cut it down-- but he def keeps the part where you kiss him

HOWEVER.

because jake's audience didn't know he had a girlfriend

they were all like WOAH WHO IS THAT GORGEOUS WOMAN

a few of his fans look at who he's following on instagram, and they find your account

your ig is public, but it's definitely small and personal

they find pictures of you and jake doing cute couple things, a lot of mirror selfies, matching costumes, and cute pictures that you take of jake

but...

they also find your own personal pictures

ones of you in a bikini at the beach, ones of you with the golden sun on your face, ones showing off your outfit and hair, ones of you in the morning, ones of you being a baddie

and lets not mention jake in the ig comment sections hyping you up like a teenage boy like "YOURE SO HOT [NAME] 🔥🔥🔥🔥"

jake and you see all the comments and tweets about you

so jake decides to take it upon himself to clarify everything

he posts a picture on instagram of you and him with the caption "yes, that's my girlfriend"

safe to say that it becomes his top post LMAOAAO

his ig comments are flooded with support

"you guys are so cute"

"i'm glad to see jake have someone that he loves"

etc

YOUR ig comment section on the other hand?

flooded with support

and thirst

HELP

his fans are respectful but they REALLY love to compliment you

"woahhh you look so good in this one!"

"gorgeous 😍"

"[name] will you marry me?"

but i do think a few are outright insane omg

"[name] you're my sunshine in the ran, the tylenol when i'm in pain, when it's burning hot on summer days you're exactly what i need"

i think they pull out poetic shit omg

like shit like

"the memory of you is a tapestry I had decided to wrap myself in until it suffocated me, to such extent that in the morning, people will not find my body, but a new silhouette woven within its threads"

"there is a city in my heart where you are its only population"

"if i could remake universe, i would replace you as the moon amongst the stars after your time, so i may gaze upon you every night"

jake is NEVER escaping

you appreciate the hype

but jakey?

he loves that you're being appreciate but YOU'RE HIS

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE AND WHY DO THEY THINK THEY HAVE A CHANCE W U

"jakey they're just being nice"

"no they're trying to STEAL YOU"

like a day later he posts a picture of you on his instagram with the caption "she's mine btw"

his comments DO NOT CARE 😭😭😭

when someone comments

"jake is your gf single and can i take her out on a date"

jake straight up responds

"NO."

what a cutie

sunghoon ☆

i actually don't think sunghoon would be a YOUTUBER youtuber

instead i think he'd be a famous ice skater, but he has YOUTUBE interviews and is active on social media

definitely the type of athlete that's very personable

like sunghoon is def in touch with his fanbase and interacts with them on twt and stuff

his fanbase knows that he has a gf, but that's basically the limit

anyways sunghoon is doing one of those "WIRED answered the web's most searched questions"

you're actually in the studio with him during the interview, kinda there for support

the questions are tame like

"sunghoon park height" "sunghoon park winter olympics 2018" "where was sunghoon park born" etc

sunghoon's killing it

until one of the last questions on the board is "does sunghoon park have a girlfriend?"

he immediately lights up

"i do have a girlfriend!" he says, looking off-set at you, "her name's [name] and she's the most beautiful woman i've ever met"

you chuckle quietly at his comment, flashing him a pretty smile

sunghoon continues- "she's actually here with me today" and he points to you, making the cameraman pan over to you, who is sitting off the set

you just give the camera a thumbs up

you thought that would be the end, but sunghoon asks, "baby, do you want to do this interview with me?"

ofc you agree

he makes u sit on his lap lol even when the camera crew is bringing another chair for you

instead of answer more questions sunghoon just talks about your relationship the entire time

he's giving an entire history lecture about your relationship

you don't say much, but you listen to him intently

when this interview goes up

a lot of his fans make edits of it

sunghoon is already known as a quiet typa guy, but when he talks for like 2 minutes straight about your relationship everyones like "oh god this guy really likes his girlfriend 😭"

in fact

the official interview cuts down sunghoon's tangent about you to 2 minutes, when the original clip was actually 10 minutes

i like to believe that WIRED released an uncut version of his tangent 😭

his fans make short edit videos like "sunghoon being whipped for [name]" or "sunghoon really likes his gf"

i think his fans also make edits of YOU

even though you're honestly in a very short clip of his interview

the way you look at him and listen so intently is SO GOOD

like you were definitely giving him 'the look' as he talked abt your relationship yk?

that once-over, maybe a little lip bite, MMMMM SO GOOD

now....

ik i said that heeseung was the keyboard warrior but like... i think sunghoon is the real one

he's out here fighting BATTLES with his keyboard oml

when stan twitter sees this.... sunghoon starts to fight them

there's tweets like

"the more i listen to sunghoon talk about his gf i more i feel like i'm falling for her"

"the woman that you are, [name]..."

"when she looks at the camera i feel shy"

"omg SHE WANTS ME"

sunghoon gets petty OH MY GOD

he responds to all the tweets about you

"she does not want you 😐." "you have no chance with her. 😐." "too bad she's mine 😇"

it's def in a playful joking way and it's really funny, but sunghoon is out here defending your honor

i think at some point sunghoon stops responding with words and just begins responding with pictures

someone tweets "sunghoon is your gf single"

and he straight up just responds with a picture of him staring blankly at the camera

LIKE HE'S DRILLING HOLES THROUGH THE CAMERA WITH HIS EYES

an absolute cutie if i do say so myself

on valentines day he posts a picture of him holding your hand to be extra petty lol

maknae ver.

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