#she's a little unreasonable i'm not gonna lie

[gerryrigged]

mmkay I've read the first two issues out of G0tham War and

(CUT FOR BIG SALT, lol)

this is so dumbbbbb oh my god 😭 like we knew it was gonna be dumb, artificial conflict, but LORDT.

everyone is OOC, even more than I expected, and the stupid, ridiculous plot hinges on the stupid, ridiculous idea that Selina's dumbass plan would ever, ever work. (Let's train ALL the henchpeople/goons (yes all of them) to be ethical 😌 non-violent catburglars 😌 like Selina 😌 who donate part of their profits to charity 😌 and only target rich people so they're really #hashtagvictimlesscrimes and then they don't have to work for dangerous Rogues and mobsters, yay, they're bettering their lives!!) (this is ~Sophisticated Social Commentary~!)

And it especially depends on her plan working astronomically better than the hundreds of millions of dollars Bruce has poured into similar outreach for the city over literal decades through the Wayne Foundation and other programs, creating and offering people jobs, support networks, etc. that aren't criminal in nature.

but oh, no one is going to bring that up (has the Martha Wayne Foundation ever even existed? haha, none of these Wayne kids know, apparently! they're just going to sit and twiddle their thumbs while Selina yells at Bruce that he's just "...clearly furious because [he's] wasted [his] fortune and [his] brain on bat-cars and punching people, and it took compassion to solve this problem").

Anyway, Bruce's efforts never meaningfully improved Gotham (cough because Batman stories can't be told without a crime-ridden Gotham cough), while Selina's (gasp) actually have! Somehow!

because the Power of Plot demands it, her cartoonish plan apparently works SO well that violent crime is down almost 75%!! wowiee, Catwoman is actually fixing Gotham, which no one has ever been able to do before!! who needs Batman, haha! that's such egg on your face, Batman, how come you never thought of doing something like this before, haha. Just convince the criminals to be non-violent, Batman, haha, what like it's hard. Ha.

So anyway, gosh, the Batkids (minus Damian, who's siding with Bruce, and Jason, who, harkening back to his "control crime" roots, 100% supports Selina) are conflicted. It feels ~weird~ just blithely letting burglars walk right past them into people's homes, but the ~numbers don't lie~, Batman, it's ~working~, maybe we shouldn't interfere and just see where this goes, like Selina asked! Aren't you being a little unreasonable walking out of this both-sides-might-have-a-point debate, Batman?? Also, ohhh nooo, you shouldn't push back so hard against her people because we don't want to start a ~war~, Batman!

I'M GONNA FACEPLANT INTO MY KEYBOARD IT'S SO ABSURD. How can you write anyone in-character when you're stuck twisting them in knots to accommodate such an absurd premise?

And then, when one of Selina's "graduates" is shot and killed during a break-in by a scared woman who'd unexpectedly stayed home when she was supposed to be out of town, the Batkids (minus Damian) act like it's somehow unexpected/out of control for Batman to bring down the hammer on Selina's operation? Like a man didn't just die because of the path Selina set him on? Like a massive surge in crime targeting the rich isn't going to eventually have more such incidents and ramifications down the line, as backlash and escalations hit? Like rich people are not known for vigorously defending their property?? What is your long-term plan here, Selina??

Batman isn't even shown being excessively violent in rounding up Selina's people (for Batman, lol) - just relentless. But Tim shows up and tries to talk him down as if he's putting petty crooks in the hospital again like after Jason's death (he just lasso'd that crook's legs and growled at him?? what is so over the top about that, in vigilante context?? this is completely normal Bat behavior??), making noises about Bruce's health and taking it easy, and oooo, nothing's black and white...

And Dick goes, "He's on a rampage, he's out of control" (WHERE? LITERALLY WHERE? are you perhaps referring to the murderous police-state robot he built and accidentally unleashed on Gotham a few arcs ago (which was ACTUALLY bad and over the top), because there is nothing in this event so far???). And Tim worries about how Batman was so angry, he's worried about what he's going to do, how far he's willing to go, and Babs is like if Selina asks for help, I'd be inclined to give it.

Like if they'd actually showed Bruce escalating and going out of control, losing it on these non-violent thieves, I wouldn't be so enormously peeved about this aspect of it. Granted, I'd still be hella mad about people like Cass and Dick and Tim thinking about supporting Catwoman's (IDIOTIC) plan, especially after a man just died, but they've all seen Bruce go off the rails before, they're very familiar with having to oppose him on those occasions.

But the way this is set up??? No. Just no. Bruce is pissed about the one thief dying, he's not trying to kill the rest of them??

It doesn't make sense, and they all come across as painfully out of character. Standing aside and letting certain crimes happen as a matter of standing policy, because they're Catwoman's people - like you can count on nobody getting hurt because Selina just trained them so well - are you kidding me, what happened to these kids' principles?? Writers and Editorial I am IN YOUR WALLS, STOP CONTORTING CHARACTERS JUST TO FIT THE DUMBASS STORY YOU WANT TO TELL.

Dick: I'm gonna head into Gotham and see if I can talk Bruce off his "moral ledge."

QUOTE UNQUOTE MORAL LEDGE??? DICK GRAYSON of all people referring to Bruce's adherence to his Mission and his Code with sanctimonious, condescending scare quotes???? Like he doesn't also believe in "no life is an acceptable loss" to a reckless, at times self-destructive degree??? Huh????

And this absolutely DUMBASS fight scene where all of the Batkids (minus Damian) fight against Bruce, but the all-powerful Bat-god doesn't need strategy or contingency plans to handle the most dangerous and highly trained vigilantes on the planet, he just goes ahead and one-shots Cass (lmfao????) and Duke and then Steph and Tim at the same time and only Dick and Jason even land blows on him for ~some reason~.

UUUUGH.

Funnily enough, outside that stupid-ass fight scene, Bruce is one of the ones who seems least out of character, considering everything he's been through recently, his paranoia about becoming old and unnecessary and only feeling at home in his Batman suit (we've certainly seen that before 🙄), his Code, and not to mention Zur-En-Arrh (and also a shadowy something else?) lurking in his psyche whispering to him, clearly not actually constrained by the cage Bruce thought he was locked in.

I'm 100% blaming instability and Zur for the bits where Bruce is more obviously wilding (mainly when fighting Jason), but like - at least he has reasons built into the narrative to be slipping like that? Everyone else is just acting that way because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, I guess.

This would all be much more enjoyable if they'd found a way to make Selina's side less ridiculous/more convincing. Like I would actually be interested in seeing Zur-En-Arrh twist Bruce's mind against his family. It was fun for that brief period in the Failsafe arc because we got to see Bruce fight against and eventually overcome it! But I can't even enjoy it here when the whole thing is so frikkin' stupid and being written terribly.

Like clearly Bruce is going to go way, way more off the rails fairly quickly from here, given how Zur is straight up fucking with him at the end (and Vandal Savage??? okay Jan). So siding against him will rapidly become more obviously reasonable, I assume. I just hope the (small) bits where like, Tim expressed worry about Bruce's wellbeing are expanded on, and shared by other characters (Dick??? Cass???), so they can help him with this mental breakdown rather than it being constantly hostile/adversarial.

...Admittedly a bit intrigued by the big Rogue Gathering, teaming up as they don't have minions to do their bidding anymore. Like, fun, evil backlash resulting from Selina's (STUPID) plan? Good! And also a compelling reason for the good guys to eventually band back together and heal this rift? Well, hopefully. :/

#I figured Bruce and Selina and a good number of the Batkids would be OOC in a “civil war” event like this #but oof #OOOOOOOOOOF #gerryrigged #gerry salt #gotham war #dc comics reading

[mollymauktealeef]

Self Rec Tag Game

tagged by the wonderful @hello-eeveev!!

Rules: Share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.). Then, tag five more people to share the things they've made.

1.something you absolutely adore

a winter's crest detour [mature, caleb/essek]

the idea for this fic actually went through two different fandoms before coming to light in critical role. i'd signed up for a christmas hallmark movie prompt thing and sadly didn't get my pick, so i left cause i got unreasonably attached to this one idea and so it came with me as i moved into another fandom where about 10k got written before the muse abandoned me until shadowgast ate my life and here we are. its probably the most self indulgent fic i've ever written, purely created for moi and i love it, bonus other people seemed to like it too! woo!

2. something that was challenging to create

the edge of the blade [teen, caleb/essek]

a full YEAR in the making, this is my biggest, longest, most EVERYTHING fic. i love it, i had so much fun writing it but boy was it hard work. the time, the energy that went into this. i really challenged myself to dig deep for essek's emotions and insecurities and i'm really proud of how it turned out. i definitely improved as a writer because of the challenges this fic liked to throw at me

3. something that makes you laugh (or smile, if that fits more comfortably)

long may they reign chapter 3 [gen, caleb/essek]

not gonna lie this is one of my comfort fics that i re-read of my things that always makes me feel better. i love the dynamic of being so comfortable and in love that the simplest acts of affection become automatic and the realisation of those acts can lead to a deeper sense and understanding of that love. i'm a sucker for the old married couple troupe.

4. something that surprised you (in how it turned out, how much other people liked it, etc.)

keep me warm [explicit, caleb/essek]

listen i am not a smut writer, it is not one of my strengths, it's very difficult for me and even the smallest scene requires days/weeks/months of writing cause i just struggle with it so damn much, (maybe she's (gnc) born with it, maybe its maybelline the aroace of it all). the idea for this fic just grabbed me by the throat and wouldn't let go so i put word to document and it actually came out alright, i was pleasantly surprised that i actually managed to put what was in my head into the fic in a very good way so very proud of myself for it

5. something you want other people to see

act i. the interloper [gen, caleb/essek]

ok ok ok i know i haven't finished parts 2 and 3 yet, YET! but i love how this series is shaping up even though it has grown beyond the teeny tiny wee fun little three part fluff ball it was meant to be into something so big and with feelings, think fluff ball the size of one of those stupidly big plastic tourist attractions they've got out in america. i love looking into old courting practices and seeing what would fit and connect with the culture of the drow and just being able to explore different aspects of their relationship and the important moments to them as well. part three especially has me a little teary cause its gonna be so gosh darn sweet so yeah, stay tuned i am writing it, its just bigger than originally designed lol

tag you're it: @aithilin, @mollymawkwrites, @ruvigapo, @mardyart, @glossolali mwah! show off your goods and wares darlings!!

#tag games #tag you're it #critical role #shadowgast

[malka-lisitsa]

What's it like dating Katherine?

I'm so glad that you asked!

I see a LOT of 'Dating Katherine would consist of-" Posts and they're all so romanticized its so unrealistic!!! So let me tell you what dating Katherine is ACTUALLY LIKE, because she is NOT an easy person to be with!

Now quick disclaimer here- this doesn't mean she isn't a good person to date and that it's all bad. It's NOT and I will definitely list the entire spectrum here good and bad- but Katherine is not for the faint of heart and if yall want to fantasize about what dating her would be like you need the real guide book.

SO here's what dating Katherine Pierce would be like.

Katherine is BPD this is a terrible condition that affects her ability to maintain relationships especially.

Paranoid delusions are v common, Katherine has incredible trust issues already (can you blame her) so paired up with paranoia she would be very suspicious at completely random times. One day she could be completely ok with x person being around you and then the next day she could be so insecure and jealous bc her head has convinced her that you are in fact cheating on her.

Katherine's rapid mood swings? Not cute! :D She can go from fine, to white hot rage in a split second and then if you blink shes sobbing! WHY? SHE DOESN'T FUCKING KNOW!! And to top it all off!! She doesn't know what to do with herself when she has these mood swings! Could be anything from isolation, to being needy, or even lashing out randomly! Its a surprise for EVERYONE INVOLVED!!

Picking fights! Legitimate fights out of nowhere! Why? Bc abandonment issues! You're gonna leave her anyway why shouldn't she be in control of that right? She will push you away viciously!! The guess what?? After that episode is over she will try to smooth it over and pull you back because she doesnt actually want to lose you- shes just SCARED and has zero emotional regulation!

She will TEST YOU CONSTANTLY and you will never know, you will never be trained, or given a guide you are expected to know what the right thing to do with/for her is and if you DONT- FIGHT. This is super common in BPD, these tests and theyre almost ALWAYS unreasonable, again bc if you fail the test she gets to pick a fight and rationalize you dont actually care about her and she should push you away before you hurt her.

Intense emotions! My GOD lets not forget that she not only feels things vampire intense but she feels them BPD intense ON TOP OF THAT. SHE WILL BE UNREASONABLE. OFTEN. IT IS NOT HER FAULT. She literally has no control over it. She is not logical when triggered it is ALL emotional lizard brain. If you push her she will bite you- no middle ground.

She will get scared, and she will most likely try to run, or push you away. Anyone who can reach you, can hurt you- and Katherine has a built in warning system when someone starts to get close enough they can actually hurt her- the the instinct to sabotage that relationship kicks in.

Katherine is an impulsive liar. You will be lied to. Probably over the stupidest shit like 'we're out of nuggets' so you pick her up something else on the way home. Also probably about important shit. Katherine's most common lie is 'im fine'

Katherine is POSSESSIVE and she is NOT shy about it either. Reactions can vary from some heavy PDA to actual violence...

Dating Katherine is dealing with her insomnia. It's dealing with her waking up screaming, or in tears. It's having her climb in your lap to sleep because she needs to feel safe. Remember this girl has been HUNTED and FUCKED WITH for 500 YEARS. SAFE is never a default feeling for her. She is ALWAYS in fight or flight mode and it's EXHAUSTING when your brain keeps telling you 'cant sleep now there are enemies near by'

Dating Katherine is never knowing whats going on in her head because she wont tell you. You need to learn her very subtle language she communicates in to understand her mental state.

its katherine having very little emotional maturity, and lashing out at the first sign of rejection or criticism. Its Katherine having black and white thinking NO grey area.

Its learning a whole new dialect just to be able to understand what she actually means when she says or does certain things.

But it's also katherine routinely playing games with you. Random games of tag. Making up new rules youve never heard of in checkers that she swears are legit she learned them in mexico. Its secretly throwing games sometimes so she can win and you get to keep playing that game...

Its her snooping through your stuff to get to know you, because while she could just ask, she needs enrichment and snooping is very fun for her.

Its her plopping herself down next to you because she just wants to be around you (even if its picking a fight for attention)

It's her head on your chest as she listens to your heart beat and falls asleep on you.

Its seeing the way she looks at you, with a love so powerful you cant even imagine what it feels like.

its her doing little things to express that she loves you. Thes things vary from doing a chore, to leaving you a present, kissing you randomly, asking to cuddle and watch a movie- its a wide variety she uses to express herself with.

its her asking you to watch videos with her or read to her.

it's finding out all of the little details she knows about you, all the tiny stuff most people don't notice, that she has learned and even likes about you.

its her cooking you one of her 4 known and perfected dishes randomly.

its quiet evenings of just existing in each others company as you do whatever

its play fighting, that turns into a make out session.

its mind blowing sex tbh

Its being loved with a love that was more than love-

its waking up next to this beautifully complex creature and knowing she picked you.

Nah, dating Katherine is not a walk in the park. It takes a very special and dedicated person with a lot of courage to handle this girl. It takes someone with patience. Someone with determination, and the ability to love her at her absolute worst. It takes someone willing to UNDERSTAND that she is not always in control of her behaviors. That she is just as fed up and scared and done with the way shes acting, but shes TRAPPED on the inside of her own head just WATCHING herself tear shit apart and she cant do ANYTHING to stop it.

It takes someone willing to meet her aggression with a gentle hand. It takes someone who will reassure her constantly that they love her and want her. It takes someone who understands that she needs special treatment most people would deem unreasonable or entitled. It's a toxic relationship until you learn the cheat codes to bypass her defense mechanisms. It takes time and dedication. So if you're thinking all of that sounds toxic and terrible, then you honestly don't deserve all the good, all the light she can be when handled properly.

Katherine is a girl who loves harder than most people could even imagine. She's dedicated. Shes smart. Shes a wonderful charismatic person- but she is DAMAGED and requires special care- so if you cant handle the care needs for an exotic animal, it's best you just visit every now and then and let someone whos willing to put in the effort, reap the immense benefits. Dating Katherine, LOVING KATHERINE- it isnt EASY.... but it's WORTH IT.

I'm sure I missed a few things for good AND bad but honestly you get the jist.

#Answered #havvkinsqueen #the one and only... sort of: ooc #headcanon

[ravynfyre]

do not come at me if you read beyond the cut and get traumatized.

my elderly cat died yesterday. i wish i know how, because the not knowing is killing me. she'd suddenly taken a turn for the worse, and i had already decided that we were going in monday to say goodbye. i don't know how she died, though. i had a really bad bout of insomnia the night before, and laid down to take a 3 hour nap in the late morning after chores. when i woke up, she wasn't begging for more breakfast, so i got worried and went looking for her. i couldn't find her. looked all through the house in all of her favorite spots, but she wasn't there. i didn't find her until i checked the crate of one of my dogs. the dog was eating her. dog had already pulled her head off and eaten the front half of her body. i had to get bags to collect what was left of my elderly cat from the dog's crate... and i will never know if the dog just found her body soon after i laid down for my nap (because i know my cat was alive them... i had fed her a little breakfast - less than she would normally want, so i was worried already - and then she'd come to lay down on me once i was settled) or if my dog actually killed her. i know that she was in multiple pieces, though, and i had to clean that up... and i have already had multiple people today telling me that my mental and emotional state, my distress, is unreasonable. one person literally asked me how i could be this upset for a cat when i have spent my life dealing with dead humans in even worse conditions.

here's my awful confession: i don't like people. they lie. they're complicated. they bring drama to my life. they hurt me. they go out of their way to hurt me. they hurt each other for the joy of inflicting pain. they destroy the world for fun and profit. humans are terrible creatures and i cannot stand them. there are individual people that i care for... but humans... fuck humanity.

my animals don't lie to me. they want food, safety, and compassion... and they love whole-heartedly. they don't try and deceive me for personal gain. except maybe for another snack, but i like food, too. my animals don't want to destroy the world. at most, they want the fun of the chaos of wrecking a stuffie.

but now i am conflicted, and that's the worst part, i think. she's a dog. dog's gonna dog. it's not like she was being malicious when she started eating my cat. she's got behavioral and medical issues that make her feel like she's starving, even when she's full. she licks things off the floor, sometimes, so it's pretty believable that she would start eating a corpse. but when she came to me, she wasn't cat safe, and it took many months to train that out of her. except i forgot that you can never 100% extinguish a set behavior... so an elderly cat on her last legs who was slow and weak... yeah, i could see this dog killing her out of misguided instincts, too. i just don't know. and that makes me sound like a shitty, unprepared, ignorant person, i'm sure, that i would risk my elderly cat like that. trust me, you can't say anything i haven't already been thinking about myself. (and other people have said to me already yesterday and today. you'd be late to the party) but the dog had been so trustworthy for so many months that it honestly wasn't something i could consider - except in retrospect. so i'm going back to closing the crate when i am asleep or not home. all of my other cats are young and spry and well able to take care of themselves, unlike my herschell was, but i am not going to risk that ever again.

i fucked up and my cat might have paid the price. or maybe not. either way, i still had to fish her decapitated, partially consumed remains out of my dog's crate... and apparently, being upset about that makes me irrational, offensive, and unreasonable. you know, because i have scraped decapitated, smeared human off of highways before. i should be immune or some shit.

how do i love that dog again?

#tw animal death #tw traumatic animal death #cw animal death #cw traumatic animal death #dead dove do not eat #heed the tags #tw graphic animal death #cw graphic animal death

[wincestisasincest]

Waves on the Shore - Chapter 4 Sneak Peek

Howdy! So, college is kicking my ass right now, and it looks like this next chapter will be out Friday (which I'm also considering making my update day? maybe?). She's gonna be a long one.

In the meantime, I wanted to give you guys a little preview of what's to come!!! Just as a way of saying thanks for all the support. Like, it fr means the world <3

sorry if it's kind of bad i still need to edit it kejrtkejhrt

WOTS masterlist // wc: 646 // triggers: language // tags: @edenstarkk

Even though you were breaking into a fucking boat in broad daylight, the most difficult thing was still Viktor. He wouldn’t leave until he had written a note to Jayce and left it on the table, spinning some bullshit yarn about how you two were going to the port to “take a break.”

“You can’t at least lie about where we’re going?” you whined once you were out on the quad.

“If you kill me, I want them to find the body,” he was only half-joking.

You were a little insulted at that, but decided not to tell him that you would never stoop to murder. Perhaps it was better if he feared you.

“If you want me to push you into the sea, all you have to do is ask.”

“I don’t think you could, but it is better to be safe than sorry,” he shrugged.

“You don’t think I could? You’re lucky I’m not going to take that as a challenge.”

“You would do well to remember that, despite appearances,” he shifted his weight on his cane, eyeing you coldly, “I am not helpless.”

“Oh, pfft, I don’t care about your leg,” you brushed him off, “please. I hang around sailors, remember? I’ve seen people with busted limbs raise all kinds of hell. No, I just think I could take you because, well, I could.”

“How egalitarian.”

Silence. The wind howled. That meant you were closer to the sea.

You found yourself rubbing your shoulders, trying to keep some warmth in. He’s being slow on purpose, you thought, practically green with envy at the sight of a warm coat and shoes with soles. Perhaps it was time for you to dig through the lost and found again.

“You never told me what initially prompted you to ask for the journals,” he commented, pretending to not notice your glare.

“Remember when I was gone for the afternoon a few days ago?" you kicked a wayward rock, "I was getting questioned by the Enforcers on Iron Leg. It just made me think about some stuff.”

“Some stuff?”

“Everyone, even the Enforcers, agree that there’s something weird going on here.”

“But it is not your job to figure it out. It will not prove your innocence.”

“Thanks, I know that. I guess I was just curious. Y’know, despite appearances I don’t like being jerked around like some dog’s fuckin’ chew toy. I figured that, with what little freedom I had, I could try to piece together some of this stuff. For my own closure, if nothing else.”

“I see.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. I’m just certain that we do not have conflicting motivations now.”

“Oh, right. Because someone’s using your baby.”

“It is not a protective instinct,” he lied, instantly recognizing his own unconvincing pitchiness.

“Okay, good,” you faked indulging him, putting on your sardonic innocence, “because I think most people would agree that it’s a little unreasonable to be protective of a rock made in Shuriman that anyone can obtain.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Then what’s it like?” you challenged.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you. We’re wasting time,” he gestured in front of him, continuing forward towards the port.

The cold was awful, but at least it kept potential witnesses inside. You jogged in front of Viktor, catching the sight of your former ship in the distance.

Even now, after everything, you were still tempted to unfurl those sails and disappear over the blue horizon. It would be so easy, too. Perhaps Viktor was right to be suspicious. Upon seeing your work, your cannon, still mounted near the center of the ship’s starboard side, the idea of a blitzkrieg revenge and then swift exit was very tempting.

But you could always do that later, after this little mystery was solved.

“They called her the Kraken’s Teeth,” you told Viktor when he caught up. He seemed unwilling to entertain your sea farer’s admiration.

“Let’s just get this over with.”

#viktor x reader #viktor arcane x reader #viktor arcane #viktor #viktor x you #enemies to lovers #slow burn #viktor x y/n #arcane x reader #jayce talis #mel medarda #caitlyn kira #mel #caitlyn #jayce #waves on the shore

[asukaskerian]

You mentioned the bone people being maybe pro omega or something the Uchicha ally list (unless I misread?) and I wonder if there’s any clans that are pro omega that aren’t …as inbred for lack of better wording.

i was gonna answer your question very enthusiastically and then --

"inbred" :X

yeah so the hyuuga consider that alphas are violent meatheads prone to duels and betas are too territorial so every single ruler they've had has been an omega but i am sure as hell not going to say something about them not being inbred so back to the plotbunny mines i go. XD

also because i'm never gonna use it, have this deleted scene about a hyuuga oc meeting the hagoromo clan head :

"Hyuuga-dono," he greeted, pushing away from the wall to give a polite nod of his head, equal to equal.

"Uchiha-dono," Hyuuga Hisae, current clan head and unrepentant omega, greeted back, her big white eyes fixed on him and entirely ignoring the Hagoromo at his side. Considering her bloodline it was extremely unreasonable to imagine she hadn't noticed Raiha. Great. Politics.

On his other side Yoritomo had reached for his elbow; he offered it by reflex, helping the old man stand even though he hardly needed it, and cursed the fact that he and the Hyuuga were the noble clans and that meant he was on the spot for introducing these assholes. Surely it was divine punishment for being somewhat of an asshole himself.

"Well-met. Allow me to make known to you Uchiha Yoritomo-san, an Elder of my clan, and Hagoromo Raiha-san, who leads the Hagoromo clan and is a trusted ally."

Yoritomo's etiquette was impeccable and so was his greeting bow. "A pleasure," Hagoromo Raiha said, not even bothering to lie in a believable way, or to bow half as deep as she ought. Madara didn't sigh, or roll his eyes, or anything that might imply he was not in agreement with his clan's long-standing ally.

"Well-met, Uchiha-san," Hisae said back. "... Hagoromo-san." Madara could tell Raiha had been this close to getting a -kun, never mind that she was probably five good years older. Ugh. "Allow me to make known to you my litter-brother, Hyuuga Hizuru."

She didn't introduce the other Hyuuga shadowing her, but then again Madara hadn't introduced the two Uchiha guards hovering in the corner. Noble clans might be allowed bodyguards in the crowded great room that was the daimyo's sib's exhibition room, but it still wasn't polite to notice them.

He still knew that they were her blood-related, older siblings, and that Raiha was going to make it a point to address the alpha of the set as an equal and probably start a fight.

"It has been quite a while, Hyuuga-dono. Have you been well?"

"Quite, thank you. But I hope we do not interrupt anything important."

Not even bothering denying she was interrupting and knew it. His ancestors grant him patience, he had thought people would know better than to put Uchiha Madara in the position of the peacekeeper. "It was nothing much," he said, a little dryly. "Trading news of common acquaintances."

And then Yoritomo smiled his benevolent old man smile and bowed, voice cheerful, friendly. "We were lamenting upon the coming doom of the Senju. Many of us are concerned about the recent revelation of Tobirama-kun's... temperament."

--that son of a bitch.

"Oh, but forgive this old omega for being so bold, Hyuuga-sama, we all know that your clan has flourished being led by mothers with a stern, loving hand. Sadly, it doesn't seem many other clans benefit from your enlightened perspective."

Hyuuga Hisae slowly moved her blind staring eyes to Madara, who tried not to break a tooth gritting them. "Could not omegas become Uchiha clan heads?" she asked after a very long pause that Madara couldn't read as anything else but 'trying to figure out some way to answer that is not starting a fight'. Her voice was so blandly curious.

"They can indeed, and no clan law stops them, they just haven't in recent times. It's just the way the babes were born and the temperament they showed."

Though Madara had to go up at least six generations to find a clan head who had also been from an omega litter, and as for one who had been an omega... He wasn't sure. Omega-and-beta littermates were better for peacetime and diplomacy, and they hadn't had some of that in a very long time.

"Truly."

"Indeed." He didn't grit his teeth somehow. "My own litter-brother would have been clan head before me had he lived."

Izuna's littermate never would have been, but Madara was fairly sure that was because Anaguma had been timid, not that he had been omega. Izuna himself would have managed.

#ABO quest #asuka writes #teaser #discarded

[kelyon]

In your Golden Cuffs fic, Belle accepts Rumple's darkness and the things he has to do to keep them safe. I won't talk about TDM since it's still in progress, (tho Belle has accepted darkness there, too). What do you think of the canon Rumbelle, where Belle won't accept any of the darkness and only wants Rumple as good as a 'hero'?

Short answer: If I was satisfied with canon, I wouldn't be writing fanfic.

I'm gonna start the long answer with the disclaimer that there are long sections of OUAT that I still haven't seen, and I don't really want to. These gaps seem to coincide with periods of Rumbelle angst. I haven't watched the beginning of Season 4 or any of Season 6 (and yet for some reason I watched all of Season 5. Why?) So I never felt like the times when Rumple and Belle were being cruel to each other were "real."

However, I recall a meta from the now-deleted blog Screwball Ninja that explained the Season 4 situation as thus: Belle didn't want Rumple to murder people or lie to her. He did both. She got mad and told him to get out using the only power she had in that relationship (the dagger). Given those facts, I don't think Belle was unreasonable.

The morality of this show is nuts. The black-and-white morality we post modern views disdain is literally built into the magic system. Dark magic cannot be used for good. Light magic cannot be used for evil. If good people try to use dark magic for a good reason, they are corrupted (see DO Emma or Snow's "blackened" heart). But if good people do crimes for a good reason without using magic, that's fine. (This is why nobody cares about heroes killing henchmen.)

Over the years of this fandom, I've seen different interpretations of Belle's resistance to Dark Magic. For example, in A Bed Of Thorns, Belle had the idea that if all magic comes at a price, Rumple should use as little as possible for the sake of his own well being, regardless of morality. (God, I almost want to make a spreadsheet of all the variables and I just might do it sometime.)

For now, I'll stay within the boundaries of my own work. The end of Golden Cuffs cheats because Rumple is capable of having love and power at the same time. And Belle is okay with him having magic (even dark magic) because she trusts him. He doesn't lie to her and he doesn't murder people. That's all she wants.

Pretty fucking low bar if canon Season 4 Rumple can't even manage that.

#tmi tuesday #rumbelle

[moth-and-raven]

CHAPTER FOUR

The rest of the day passes in a haze. Loud cheers met Nadia’s announcement and Portia slipped into the rush just in time to board the carriage, tear-stained but determined to fight through it.

I must have been imagining things. I don’t want to think poorly of Julian, but I have to face facts: people will do and say anything to keep themselves off the gallows. He’s smart. He’s charismatic. He knows I’m working with the Palace. I can’t help but think he was just trying to endear himself to me, taking advantage of how obviously attracted to him I am. I can’t blame him for that. It’s my own fault for chasing what was a pathetic pipe dream from the start.

I retreat to my room after we return to the palace. It’s not unreasonable, considering I haven’t slept much in the past few days. From my bed, I watch spots of sunlight creep across the ceiling until I fall asleep. At least it’s dreamless this time.

Portia comes to get me for dinner in the late evening, when the sky’s turned purple. She’s itching with curiosity, peeking at me from the corner of her eye the whole way to the dining hall. Before we enter, she clears her throat.

“So, um.”

“It was nothing.” If I keep telling myself that, maybe it’ll hurt less. “Did you—?”

“Safe and sound. At least as much as he can be.”

“How long had it been since—?”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth just like he does. “Ten years, give or take. The last time I saw him was right after his apprenticeship. He came back to Nevivon for a few months while he was figuring out what else to do. I was only sixteen, so he must’ve been… twenty-five?”

The same age I am now. I didn’t realize he was that much older than me, though I suppose it makes sense. He’s lived quite a life. Yet more reason for him to see nothing of interest in me.

Portia pushes on: “What will you say to—?”

“I’m not telling her anything.” I shake my head and look away. “I don’t have anything to tell her anyway.”

That’s not a lie. I may know more about him now, but nothing pertinent.

“She’ll ask.”

“I know.”

I must not be doing as good of a job hiding my sadness as I thought I was, because Portia rests her hand on my shoulder and squeezes gently. I don’t have it in me to say that whatever she’s imagining isn’t true.

I can’t do this.

“Could you tell Nadia that I—” Humiliated, I choke on my tears. “I'm— I’ll be in the library.”

I’m already around the corner by the time she agrees. I don't know what I’m going to do there, but at least I’ll be alone. Again.

I may not remember beyond the last three years, but I know in my heart that I’ve never been loved like I am in my dreams. I probably never will be. With all the beautiful people out there, who would choose me, the fat twenty-five-year-old virgin so gullible she falls for every man who looks at her twice? What could I possibly offer someone like him?

Nothing.

Painful, empty nothing.

I end up at the library eventually. At least I can navigate the palace better than I could the South End. My tears have almost stopped before I feel the metal arc of the crescent moon still hanging around my neck and break apart again. I manage to reach an armchair, nestled in an alcove near a half-flight of stairs, and curl up in it as best I can to weather the storm.

I’m so ugly when I cry. Thank god no one can see it. No one ever should.

When the waves settle and my breath doesn’t feel so foreign in my lungs, I press my palms to my eyes and sigh heavily. I have a headache now, as I always do after I cry like that. I know I should be hungry, but I’m not. I don’t know what I am.

But I made a promise. To Nadia and to Julian. Even if I never see him again, I’ll help him as much as I can. And with all of his research, all the palace staff who knew both him and Lucio, all the magic echoes swirling around waiting for someone to hear them, I think I can help him a lot.

------

I was always more comfortable at night. I sleep a little bit, curled up in the armchair, but it’s not very comfortable and I wake up sore. I’m glad I came to the library, though: Julian’s desk is a mess of torn papers and marked-up books, underlines and strikethroughs and question marks in the margins, and I have so little time to piece it all together. If I hadn’t slept yesterday away… yesterday. I shouldn’t be thinking about yesterday. It was nothing. It is nothing.

He’ll be nothing if I can’t figure this out.

Portia brings me something to eat in the very early hours, right before dawn. Without saying a word, she draws up another chair and starts sorting through things too. She can read his handwriting much more easily than I can.

And Count Lucio’s name shows up. And again, and again. Lucio’s temperature rising. Lucio says wine tastes metallic. Alchemical fluid in Lucio’s prosthetic turned red, wouldn’t survive replacement. Observations in clipped clinical speech, but scrawled with ever-increasing desperation. Lucio spitting up blood. Lucio not sleeping, complaining of bad dreams. Lucio too weak to eat, still alive.

Notes on the dissection of a beetle, a cross-section of a human brain, a map of the palace with large red Xs over half the rooms in the east wing. Peeking over my shoulder, Portia points at them.

“That’s the Count’s Suite. He had the whole wing, actually. No one goes up there anymore.”

I straighten up, my joints crackling from the hours I've spent hunched over. “Why?”

She shrugs. “Nadia had the whole thing blocked off. It’s really dirty, from the— all the ash and stuff. And people say it’s haunted.”

“By Lucio?”

“I guess. One of the other housekeepers swears they saw the ghost of a weird guy at the top of the stairs once. That it looked right at them with spooky red eyes. I think they’re full of shit, but maybe it’s worth a look?”

There could be a thousand things worth a look. If I had more time… “I don’t know. I have a couple spells that might be able to pin down a ghost, but I’ve never actually tried them.”

“If it is Lucio, though, wouldn’t he be able to say who killed him?”

“Hm. That’s true. Is the wing locked?”

Portia grins and fishes in her pocket. “Not if you have keys.”

The main staircase is close to the library. I feel the air get colder as we approach, and the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck start to stand up even before Portia unlocks the corridor that leads to Lucio’s bedroom. It’s eerily quiet, all gray and black, luxury gone to ruin in the wake of a disaster. I’ve seen reproductions of burned-out buildings that look like this, after heavy battles. It crosses my mind that destruction of that caliber had taken extremely powerful magic to accomplish, not the actions of a single man weakened by pressure and long hours in the midst of a plague. Julian can’t even do magic. He said as much during our long conversation at the Raven. I can’t imagine anything else that would do this much damage without bringing the entire palace down.

Interesting.

Cinders crunch underfoot. Charred paintings watch us pass. A primal fear creeps along just behind us, whispering then asking then screaming at us to flee. I can feel my heart in my throat and adrenaline in my blood, every sense heightened. Tattered curtains move at the corner of my eye: I’m terrified to look and even more terrified not to.

But I can tell without bringing magic to my hand that there’s nothing here. At least nothing that wants to make itself known. There’s just a spark of pure rage somewhere deep inside the wing, but it doesn’t want to be seen. No ghosts, no goats, no ghost goats. No spooky red eyes. Just soot and smoke stains and three years of neglect. The fear lurking in the back of my mind isn’t supernatural, just the normal human mistrust of the dark and abandoned.

We go all the way to the end of the suite to no avail. Part of me thinks I should stay, but I’m getting tired now and the idea of sleeping in these rooms isn’t appealing. Portia takes my sigh as an admission of defeat and pats my arm. It was a distant hope anyway.

Near the end of the corridor as we leave, a small glimmer catches my attention. If I hadn’t been looking that way to start with, I never would’ve noticed it.

“Hey Portia, what’s in there?”

She lifts up the lantern and peers into the room. “Bath chamber, I think.”

We see it at the same time, as the light catches the red gleam again: falling from the sink are drops of blood. More of it trickles across the floor. The walls are stained from it, up to the window.

“What the fuck?”

My sentiments exactly. What is this? It can’t be actual blood, can it? This is the top floor of the palace. Is it bubbling up through the plumbing?

“Nadia’s gonna want to know about this,” Portia says in a small voice.

“Wait. Let me check it out first.”

She turns to look at me, pale in the lantern’s glow. “This is way beyond whatever my brother might have done. It could infect the whole palace!”

“Do you think it’s infectious?”

Portia frowns. “Did you… Were you in Vesuvia back then? During the Plague?”

There’s no point in lying. “No.”

“Neither was I, but I heard about it. Before I left Nevivon, some sailors docked and told everyone what they’d seen. People died so quickly, there wasn’t space to keep their bodies. And they were all red, their eyes and their fingertips, everywhere you could see veins.” She shudders. “I can’t believe Ilya worked with it and… and…”

She must’ve been so scared, knowing that he could die any day.

“You know that big ugly crematorium out in the bay?” she asks.

“The Lazaret.” Everyone knows about that. You can see it from shore, a jagged silhouette reminding everyone of the toll the Plague took on the city. I don’t like looking at it: it makes my heart ache.

“Yeah. Even with that, there were too many bodies. So many people… There was a rumor that the Palace stored the extra ones, until they could be burned.”

“Where would they have been able to keep them?”

“Dunno. But there’s a huge tunnel system under here, all the way down into the cliffs. And the dungeon’s really big.”

I’d wondered how Julian could escape the prison cells, when the only way out was through the palace itself. Tunnels would explain that, I suppose. “So do you think there’s still something tainting the water?”

Her eyes are wide in the dark. “There might be. Kinda like here, no one’s been in the dungeons for ages. Probably since then.”

I frown. It’s unlikely, but I can’t deny the evidence right in front of me. I take another step into the washroom and trace the flow towards the wall. Some of the stones are loose now, after years of water damage. There’s more than enough room for it all to drain away between them.

Weak dawn sunlight floods the horizon as I stand up and glance out the window. I can see most of the city from here, out across the harbor to the Lazaret and down through the South End and directly into the lush gardens below.

And beyond the gardens, flowing from the palace along the channel of an aqueduct, is a stream of blood red.

------

Nadia scowls at the dripping red water, then summons her bodyguard to her side and dispatches them with a whispered order. Both Portia and I follow her out of the wing, but Portia splits off at the base of the stairs to see to her duties while Nadia invites me into the dining hall for breakfast.

A massive, gaudy painting hangs over the table, eyeing us as we pick over the array of egg dishes and sliced fruit. It depicts a celebration scene, I think, presided over by a muscular blond man with his arms spread wide over a crowd of adoring citizens. Nadia notices me looking at it and chuckles.

“Admiring my late husband’s art sense, are you, Reyja?”

I don’t want to offend her, but I think Count Lucio should’ve stuck to partying. “It’s, um, very vibrant.”

“That was typical of him,” she laughs. “Ostentatious to a fault.”

People don’t talk about Lucio much, unless they’re cursing his name for all the damage he did to the city with his warmongering and overspending. I’m trying to solve his murder, but now that I think of it, I don’t know much about the man himself. “What was he like?”

Nadia grimaces. “Much as you’ve heard, I expect. Loud, brash, insolent. Committed to his life of luxury. I would not have married him, had I been sober when he proposed.”

She must catch my surprise, because she fixes me in her dark eyes and raises a brow as if daring me to judge her.

Of course I won’t. “How did you two meet?”

“He was visiting Prakra,” she says. “To present himself to Empress Nasrin, my mother, as the Count of Vesuvia. He had been in power for some time by then, as I recall. I believe he told me that he’d first come to this city nearly twenty years before, on a mercenary contract.”

“He wasn’t from here?”

“No. He was of the Southern tribes.”

That’s confusing. “How did he get to be Count?”

“The former Count grew quite fond of him. Lucio was named his heir shortly after he arrived, and took the throne shortly after that. He spoke often of the battle in which he lost his arm—” She points at the painting. Lucio’s left arm shines, gilded in gold leaf. “—the same in which Spada was killed.”

Lucio may have been bloodthirsty, especially fond of the fights to the death at the coliseum Vesuvia used to be famous for, but everyone knew his roots as a successful mercenary. Even in his forties, when he died, he was strong and virile.

Which was why his death came as such a shock. Who would’ve thought such a man would die in his bed, ravished by sickness and weak enough to fall to an unskilled assassin?

“What about the Plague?” I ask quietly. People talk about Lucio a little bit, but no one discusses the Plague at all, as if the mere mention of it will cause its return.

Nadia nods. “It appeared nearly overnight, five years ago. No one had seen its like before. To my knowledge, nothing like it has been seen since, either.”

“Do we know where it came from?”

“I’m afraid not. Little is known of it, save that it killed thirty thousand of my people in two years.”

Her people. Nadia may have been Prakran by birth, but this was her city now.

“I had been visiting my sisters when it struck,” Nadia continues, gaze unfocused as she looks back through her memories. “As such, I was forbidden from returning until we were certain it had passed.”

I remember the parade that welcomed her back, but I didn’t realize she’d been gone that long. It’s been less than a year: she must be so busy, trying to pull Vesuvia together again. No wonder the search for her husband’s murderer hadn’t been her top priority until now. “I’m sorry.”

She tilts her head, looking at me. “Understand this, Reyja: if the Plague has not truly left the city, and what you and dear Portia discovered today is proof of that, then the search for Doctor Devorak must be set aside. I am eager to see justice done, but one man’s life, when weighed against the lives of thousands, will not tip the scales. I hope I may rely upon your services regardless of that outcome.”

Her visit to the shop feels very far away. I’m attached to this now, however big it gets. “I’ll be here.”

“Thank you. I have sent Yazakh to fetch an expert on the Plague from their estate. I hope they will return soon, but in the meantime, I urge you to rest. We may have much to consider in the coming days.”

I take a small pastry with me when I leave the table and make my way back to my room. I don’t doubt that she’s right, but even with this additional set of problems, I can’t keep my mind away from Julian. Thoughts of him cloud my head as I lay down for a nap and they’re still there when I wake up. My stomach isn’t happy with me, swirling with guilt and humiliation and anxiety, but I don’t know what to do about it.

The expert still hasn’t arrived when I go up to Lucio’s suite to check. I pass the library on the way back and my fingers fly to the silver moon pendant still around my neck, following the divot Julian’s own nerves wore in the metal. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to look through his notes while I wait, if I can concentrate enough to get anything useful out of them.

I can’t.

When the sun sets again, I give up. Another day gone, and I’ve only discovered more things to do. I need something to focus on, something with a solution, something… something that might distract me from the fact that I’m no closer to clearing Julian’s name.

I can follow that water, if nothing else. I don’t know where it’s coming from, but maybe I can learn where it’s going. And I can get out of the palace, maybe work off some of this nervous energy. And I won’t be surrounded by pieces of him, distracting me from my mission. It’ll be perfect.

---------------

prev || next

#the arcana #the arcana fanfic #reyja north #julian devorak #moth & raven

[nicka-nell]

I'm Kiyoomi Sakusa and I'm a germaphobe - Chapter 33: When everything breaks, I believe in you.

Words: 1.624     Warning: angst, manga spoiler

Chapter 32 -  A new heart beats     | Masterlist

(y/n) = your name | (l/n) = last name | (e/c) = eye colour | (h/c) = hair colour

Kiyoomi had written to them that he was not coming to the training and what happened to (y/n). They look at him with fear and embrace their sad friend. “We’re here for you. Okay?” Atsumu calls to him and puts his hand on his shoulder. “Yeah, we’re here for you, no matter what happens.” Bokuto adds and sits down next to Kiyoomi in a chair. “Stop now! Everything will be fine!” cries Hinata, who does not want to see what has just happened. Osamu is the only one who says nothing. Because he feels most connected to Kiyoomi and (y/n). For him, the situation is not as difficult as for Kiyoomi, but he loves (y/n) too. He doesn’t want to see her die. And that Kaede of all people is operating on her... That must be terrible for him. He has the life of his sister and niece in his hands. Quietly he sits down on a chair and looks sadly over to Kiyoomi. Carefully he grabs his hand and presses it firmly. “Listen, Kiyoomi, we both know how strong (y/n) is, she’s gonna be fine, we just have to believe in her.” Osamu says with a serious voice and feels the pressure on his hand, which is created by Kiyoomis handshake. “Yes...” he whispers quietly, and again his tears flow. It takes several hours for Kaede to come out of the operating room and see Kiyoomi and his friends. He takes off his face mask and walks up to the people. “Kiyoomi? Look at me...” Keade orders him and waits for Kiyoomis sad red eyes to look at him. With a groaning sound he squats and looks up at Kiyoomi. “(y/n) is doing fine. She made it. It looked worse than it is. She will wake up in a few hours, and if all goes well, she will be out in a few days.” The relief is seen in his face and sobbing he takes Kaede in his arms. “Thank you! Thank you Kaede!” Kaede returns his embrace and paints circular movements on Kiyoomis back with his hand. “I promised you I would save her.” he whispered quietly. “But... what... what about our baby? What about our daughter?” asks Kiyoomi who now interrupts the embrace and looks critically at Kaede. “Kiyoomi... please relax a bit. She is all right too. That shot didn’t hurt her. We will, however, keep an eye on both in the next few days. But like I said, she’ll be able to go home with you in a few days. Promise me you’ll go home now, get some rest and come back. You need to rest.” He would rather stay here, waiting for (y/n) to wake up and stay with her. But he knows it would be unreasonable. So he nods a little absent-minded and leaves the hospital with his friends. “Shall we go with you home? I mean... This was not easy for you.” asks Hinata, who is worried about his friend. “No... I’d like to be alone with Osamu and then go home. Thank you all for being here...” he answers Hinata and looks into the circle. Nodding, his friends hug him and say goodbye to him, with the remark that he should call whenever he needs someone to talk or distract. “Why did you want to be alone with me?” Osamu asks him and picks up Kiyoomi, who is already heading for his house. “I know... that (y/n) is very important to you. That you love her. I appreciate that, and I appreciate everything you’ve done for her and for us. If (y/n) gets out of the hospital... And if we can finally hold our daughter in our arms... Do you want to be her godfather? I know you’ll love her as much as Kaede loves her. You’re one of the few people we’d both want to give our little sunshine to without hesitation. Because we trust you and we know that she’s in good hands with you if anything happens to us.” His voice is serious and so is his look. Osamu looks at him with big eyes. “Her godfather? Really? That... I’d be honored, Kiyoomi. I’d like to be her godfather.” In his words, his eyes begin to become glassy, and he has to refrain from crying. “You idiot...! Let’s go to my store together and drink to (y/n), your little princess and me as her godfather.” He sobs and hugs Kiyoomi. “Okay... okay! It's all right now. Let go of me.” Kiyoomi sighs and follows Osamu to his shop. While Osamu pours himself and Kiyoomi sake, his gaze remains on his friend. “Hey listen Kiyoomi... If you want, you can stay here. I can imagine that it’s not easy for you to be in that house by having your shared memories.” Kiyoomi nods and looks over to him. “Thank you. I may really come back to that.” Together they drink some sake, eat some Onigiris and talk about (y/n) until both fall asleep tired in Osamus apartment. - When Kiyoomi goes back to the hospital and enters (y/n)’s room, she is talking to Kaede. She seems to have just woken up because Kaede told her about everything that happened. Relief draws her face as he tells her that her baby is also fine. But one more time her eyes shine as she sees Kiyoomi enter the room. With a pack of Miya Onigiris, a beautiful bouquet of flowers and a few clothes, he stands in the room door and warmly smiles at his wife. “I knew you’d make it, (y/n). Because I believe in you.” Are the first words that leave his mouth as he approaches (y/n) and Kaede and puts the flowers, food and clothes on the table next to (y/n). Carefully he takes her in his arms and gives her a long loving kiss. But the kiss becomes salty after only a few seconds, because Kiyoomi cannot hold back his tears again. “Kiyoomi... You don't have to cry. Everything is all right.” (y/n) tries to calm him down. “It’s not all good. I believed in you, but I was worried too. I should have protected you... No, I should have protected both of you. Instead, all I could do was just call a doctor and hold you in my arms. I should have been there for you.” he sobs. “Kiyoomi... please don't be like that. What else could you have done? You’re also here for me now. And Kaede said that all the hours I was in the operating room, you were there and you believed in me. You couldn’t have supported me better. You couldn’t have supported us better. You did a great job, Kiyoomi. Now look at me the way you’d look at me otherwise. You look like a pile of misery.” She grins at him. “I see that you are slowly coming back to your wonderfully loving nature.” Kiyoomi now also grins sarcastically. - Kiyoomi visits (y/n) in the next three days at any time he has the right to visit. He brings her flowers, something to eat from Osamus shop, reads books to her and talks to her belly where their little girl is in. He’s glad he didn’t lose her. Because he couldn’t bear to lose her. He loves her, and he always will. Because she’s his wife. Today she is to be released and full of anticipation but also afraid Kiyoomi is standing in front of the hospital. He looks around to see if there really is no one with a gun in the crowd. But all people are unsuspected. Still slightly exhausted, but with a happy smile, (y/n) steps out of the hospital together with Kaede, whose shift is also coming to an end. He lovingly embraces his wife and encloses her cheeks with his hands. “I love you, my princess. Let’s go home and be finally together.” His voice is still slightly sad, as he would have wanted to prevent all this. But (y/n)’s smile makes him stop thinking about his failure. “Let’s go home, darling.” She whispers softly and gives him a gentle kiss on the lips. “You know I’m still here, right?” interrupts Kaede them and looks at them sulking. Laughing, (y/n) beats her hand on Kaedes back and smiles. “Yes, my savior, we know that, of course you’re coming with us.” Arriving at home, Kiyoomi goes directly to their bedroom with (y/n) and makes her lie down again, as she should take care of herself. Anxiously he lays down beside her and holds her hand in his. “I love you, (y/n). Please promise me you’ll always stay with me. I was very afraid of losing you. Losing our baby... I don’t want to see you like this again.” His words are accompanied by his pain, and he notices how his eyes become glassy again. “Kiyoomi... everything is alright. Really. We are with you and we will always be with you, my beloved. Don't forget that. I love you too Kiyoomi.” Gently she gives him a kiss and takes him firmly into her arms. With her hand, which has just stroked his back, she walks through his curly hair and smiles at him. “I’ll always be at your side, Kiyoomi.” she whispers, and this time it is Kiyoomi who pulls her to himself and distributes several loving kisses on her cheek, hands and stomach.

Chapter 34 -  From nightmare to dream and picture book (END)

Taglist: @kara-grayson04​ @suna-allie​ @pleasemelafook-outta-ere​

#33/34 #50k story #haikyu #haikyuu #haikyuu! #kiyoomi #sakusa #kiyoomi sakusa #sakusa kiyoomi #omi-omi #omi-kun #yoomi #kiyoomi x reader #sakusa x reader #kiyoomi sakusa x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyu x #osamu #miya #haikyu spoiler #manga spoiler #love #fluff #friendship #nelas story #just an idea

[shawnpetermuffins]

You Can't be Serious (Part 2)

A/n: the plot was originally a lot more thought out, and I don't really like the ending, but it is what it is. Sorry.

Summary: y/n and Shawn need to talk about what happened last night because what did happen just ain't it.

Warning: none

***

Shawn woke up in the morning with a massive hangover and the sun blinding him effortlessly. He groaned softly, reaching for his girlfriend, so that he could bury his aching head in her chest, only to find that she wasn't beside him like she normally was. With one eye open, he searched the room, finding no evidence that she had been in the room since last night. Her phone was still on the night stand, her pillow gone, and Shawn just laid there entirely off put by the overwhelming silence that consumed their bedroom.

He knows he messed up; he should have called her. But he was too preoccupied with Brian's promise of "stupid fun" to bother. He needed this night out with the boys because with all the time he spends at the studio now he never gets to see them anymore, and he's struggling with this new album on top of that. He just needed a night out when y/n wasn't asking him about work and how things were going because he knew he couldn't lie to her about it. He misses what comes with being friends with them: the unavoidable drinking constests, the girls constantly flirting with them (only since being with y/n he's never flirted back). Then of course there's the inevitable hangover in the morning - much like Shawn is sporting now- and then trying to remember just what happened the night before. In his heart, though, he knows that none of this matters. He hurt her because he didn't communicate with her, and that's one thing they've always promised to do.

You were in the kitchen, staring blankly at your coffee cup with a crick in your neck from the still too hard sofa that Shawn purely got because "aesthetic." His footsteps behind you are what brought you out of your own little world. You brushed off his soft "good morning" and took a sip of your now lukewarm coffee.

Shawn sighed loudly when you still hadn't spared him a glance in the three minutes that he stood in front of you. "So are we gonna talk about this or not?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Y/n, I said I was sorry. You can't seriously still be mad."

"I told you I wasn't mad, Shawn. I'm disappointed that you didn't tell me. You let me get ready and sit here like an idiot for almost two hours and you didn't even think to call." You stared hard at the marble counter that kept you two separate. "Then when you do finally text me back, you lie to me. We've been together for nearly nearly three years, why couldn't you just text me? You know I would have understood."

"I just needed a night out. Okay? I haven't seen the guys in a while and I wanted to spend time with them."

"Oh for fucks sake, Shawn, then why don't you tell me that?" You finally looked up to see that beautiful, ruffled head of curls that fell into his eyes. "Am I so unreasonable that you can't tell me that you want to spend the night with your friends? I don't care that you went out with them! I don't! I care that you promised me a date and then you couldn't even be bothered to cancel. I care that you've been pulling away from me for weeks. That's what I care about."

"I haven't been pulling away." Shawn said even though he knows it's a lie.

You scoff, "yeah right. Probably off flirting with some girls at the bar," you mumble under your breath. But he heard you.

"If you honestly think I would do that to you, then you've fucking lost it."

"Then what other reason could there be for you not talking to me? I'm worried about you!"

"That's the problem!"

"You're not serious," I glared at him.

"I'm stressing out at the studio," he finally admits. "And no matter what I do, it's never good enough. And I know that if I came home to you and told you, you would just try to convince me that I was wrong for second guessing. Or you'd try and figure out a way to help me fix it, find a muse or something. And I hate you worrying about me because there are other things that you could be doing with that time. My problems shouldn't be yours to fix."

"That's what you do in relationships, Shawn! You try and help your significant other so that they know they're not alone! I may not know much about the music industry, but that doesn't mean I don't want to know what's going on. Talk to me about the studio and the deadlines and everything else that comes with your job. I talk to you about mine even though I know you don't know a damn thing about it. Why is it so hard for you to let me into your world?"

"My world? Hon, you are my world! And that's the other problem. I can't focus in the studio because I'm only thinking about you. And then the songs are all sappy and over infused with love and no one wants to hear that. You haven't hurt me and it's really fucking with my head."

"So you bailed last night because I haven't hurt you? That doesn't make any sense." You take your mug and empty the contents into the sink.

"No, that's not it. I just - I thought that being away from you for a night was gonna somehow fix my stress levels because I wouldn't have to talk about it." Shawn shook his head and looked down at his feet. "I could just go to the pub, drink a few beers and just hang with the guys. I wouldn't have to sit and tell you how much I'm struggling with this new album and listen to you praise me. Because you do, you praise me. You think I can do no wrong. You think I hung the moon and I don't want to disappoint you because I can't do the one thing I'm supposed to be good at."

"Hey," You reached for his hand. "Look at me, Shawn. I know you're not perfect. I don't want you to think you have to be in front of me." You made your way to him, taking his face in your hands. "You are allowed to feel stressed and make mistakes and feel like you can talk to me about it.

"I know." He wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his still aching head in the crook of your neck. "I know."

"But what you shouldn't do is neglect your needy girlfriend. Because I get it, the boys miss you. Rightfully so. But I miss you in a much different way."

He groaned into your shirt, "I've missed you too. God, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry I disappointed you."

"It's okay, baby," you ran your hands through his hair. "How about you make it up to me by proving just how much you missed me."

He nodded, already placing soft kisses to your neck. "I can do that."

Tags

@lilya-petrichor

#shawn peter raul #shawn mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes one shot #shawn mendes angst

[polyamorouspixie]

I'm a secondary partner in my only relationship at the moment. Do you have any advice on how to deal with the envy seeing his relationship with his primary?I love my partner and I adore my metamour, but envy and wishing I was a primary is eating me up inside and is causing me not to treat my meta as well as she deserves. It probably doesn't help that we are LDR so I only see him every other weekend which causes me to hog every second of his attention and then I get very little contact in between

So, when you have a problem you have three ways of tackling it:

1) feel really bad about it

2) accept the way things are and make peace with it

3) do something to remove the things that are distressing you. 

Okay, so, let’s look at a mix of two and three. 

Can you ask your partner for a little more you time? For example, if you like good morning texts, or you’d like to have an hour Skype call on the weekends you don’t see him that are just him and not your meta, or other little things that allow you to have some contact when you’re not with him. Something tangible though, rather than just “some more attention”. I’m curious as to what you mean by “hog his attention”. I hope that not all your time with him involves your metamour, because I think that’s a little unreasonable. I think it’s okay to spend some time on your fortnightly weekend with him that’s just the two of you, even if your meta is in a different room, or you just go for a little walk while she stays home. Metas are great, and hanging out with them is amazing, but one-on-one time is important. Talk to him, express clearly what you would like from him, and be willing to negotiate til you find things that work for both of you. 

The thing about secondary as a word is that it feels inferior. The fact that you happen not to live where your partner does, and you see him less than his partner who presumably lives with him, is merely a circumstance, not a judgement on you as a person. It takes a person with a lot of self confidence and self sufficiency to be in a less involved relationship with someone who has a more involved relationship, because we’re trained by society to feel bad about that. It isn’t bad. I bet you have friends who have best friends who aren’t you, but does that take away from your friendship? You have other stuff going on as well as that friend: other friends, hobbies, life stuff. Throw yourself into the other aspects of your life when you’re not with your partner.

I’m going to assume that you being a primary partner to him isn’t feasible at the moment, so I’m going to leave that aside. I think you should try to accept that not being his primary is actually great. The default is nothing, from anyone else. That you get every other weekend with him is an incredible gift, the universe lining up in your favour. I try my hardest to shift my perception from “why don’t I have everything I want” to “here is a list of incredible things I have in my life”. It’s hard, not gonna lie. There’s some pretty big stuff that I wish I had, that I don’t. But it’s not reasonable for me to have that AND all the other stuff I have. It takes practise, but feeling gratitude instead of longing brings you so much peace in your shouty brain parts. 

I’ll leave you with this: it is never acceptable to take your bad feelings out on someone else. I know you know this, but you have to feel it right down in your bones. If you start feeling resentful towards your metamour, you remove yourself from her. You cannot pass that bad feeling on to another. I know the desire to do that is intense, and it feels justified, but you can’t. You just can’t.

[truc0nfessionz]

my blood pressure feels high AF tonight. my feet are sweating and i'm anxious.

why?

not sure really, but let's try to find out.

it's been a day. every day this year has been a day. it's been a day, in a week, in a month, in a year. and damn, a girl feels tired.

maybe i should be resting.

but i'm not gonna lie, i feel the time pressure from B's ultimatum hanging over me, and i feel like if i don't "get these things out of my system" now, i never will be able to.

maybe that bothers me more than i thought. being rushed. it feels a little forced.

i may see shawn tonight. i may not. i'm not exactly sure how to handle being an option to someone and not their everything. like hello - i'm everyone's everything. lol.

but this is what i wanted, right? this is the path i chose to explore. and i can take it back at any time, so i'm treading lightly as i go.

lord and universe - grant me serenity. grant me peace in my aching heart. i want so deeply to no longer have strife. i want to be free from anxiety and i'm unsure how to get there.

do i force myself to have fun, remembering once i'm out there that sometimes fun is worth the risk?

or do i shut myself in, keep myself down. rest. be away. be quiet. will it be paradise? will it be purgatory? sometimes you are your own worst enemy...

i see now that i am still grieving lauren. she wrote to me yesterday and man it takes everything in me not to respond. i have so many feelings, and so many of them are angry, to be honest. that tells me that i'm not healed yet, but i am working on getting better. i grieve our laughs, our jokes, our sex, our love for the animals and our crazy, unreasonable and borderline psychotic love for one another. it was the craziest, most intense, high pressure romantic relationship i've ever been in. and i almost don't know where i go from here.

but i am me. so i will only rise. it's only up from here. i need to remember that it's not helpful to spend so much time looking back, i'm not going that way. my future is ahead, it is bright, and i am so capable. i am pure magic in my best form. and even when i'm not - i'm still light. i'm still love. i'm still compassion and warmth and intensity and greatness.

thank you universe for giving me this life. i am so blessed. i have everything one could ever want and more, and i am working to appreciate that.

this is my life - i am meant to be free and i'm meant to have fun.

#1.19.22

[kane-and-griffin]

Hey so I known you don't particularly ship bellarke, but what do you think of the bellarke/kabby parallels? I'm only asking because I'm curious to see what the other side of the fandom thinks?

I actually do ship Bellarke!  Kabby is my #1 but I’ve always been invested in Clarke and Bellamy’s relationship.  I have very strong opinions about Kabby/Bellarke parallels and have talked about this at LENGTH on Meta Station, where @reblogginhood, my co-host and best friend, is a ride-or-die Bellarke shipper, so most of the time I feel like I have dual citizenship through Erin (and vice versa, since the Kabby fandom loves her too).  We both love both those ships, and we both love all four of those characters, just in rearranged order, and we like to yell about this a LOT.

I’ve meta’d on this before a number of different times, but I’m too lazy to go back and dig up old posts, so here goes.

First of all, if you are a Bellarke shipper (are you a Bellarke shipper? Am I reading this ask correctly?  HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIIIIIDE), the most important thing I want to say in aid of positive fandom-to-fandom relations is that the phrase “Kabby/Bellarke parallels” has begun to elicit a knee-jerk primal scream reaction among Kabby shippers over the past few months, since we regularly find the Kabby tag full of posts that either describe Kabby as the “old” version of Bellarke, or that it only exists to pave the way for Bellarke, or that the parallels that exist (and they do exist, and we’ll get to that in a second) essentially make Kane and Abby metaphors instead of people who only exist in the narrative to shed light on Bellarke instead of being their own characters with value and storylines of their own.  Articles or blog posts highlighting the things that make Kabby special to Kabby shippers will get reblogged with someone saying “if you change the names, it’s about Bellarke!” or with lengthy meta about how Bellarke had that thing first or that the Kabby version of some particular moment or symbol or metaphor or visual cue or phrase only exists because it will become MORE important later, when it’s attached to Bellarke. 

So I’m frustrated because I love this ask, I love getting this question, I love talking about the relationship among these four characters, but also it’s hard - as you can imagine - to feel like we’re told over and over again that the things we feel make our ship, and these two characters, really special to us, don’t really matter on their own merits.  

Anyway, I’m saying that both A) so the Kabby fandom, where we are perpetually having this conversation, knows MOM’S ON IT, and B) so that you as a Bellarke shipper who seems delightful and asked a great question has some context for why sometimes other asks or posts about this - which aren’t phrased as nicely as yours was - receive a negative response or make Kabby shippers upset.  I think the context is important here, because this has been a BIG thing in our world of late and we’re all a little thin-skinned about it right now.

Okay but that being said LET’S MOVE ON TO THE FUN PART AND TALK ABOUT CHARACTER PARALLELS BECAUSE I LOVE CHARACTER PARALLELS AND I THINK ABOUT THESE ONES ALL THE TIME AND I’M FULL OF OPINIONS AND YOU ASKED FOR THEM SO YOU’RE GONNA GET ‘EM

oh wait I found another post where I already did this STILL GONNA YELL ABOUT IT THOUGH, MY HOUSE MY RULES

Okay so FIRST OF ALL let me just real quick BLOW YOUR MIND with my Kabby/Bellarke parallels theory, which is that the REAL parallel is Abby/Bellamy vs. Clarke/Kane and everyone else has it backwards. 

I think the easy, default place most people go to when we talk about this is to contrast Kane and Bellamy - the self-doubting, tortured, wannabe martyrs who carry the weight of every sin on their shoulders well past the point of reason - with Abby and Clarke - the resourceful mother and daughter who never give up and will drag all of humanity kicking and screaming to their salvation if it’s the LAST THING THEY FUCKING DO.  And I think there’s a lot of interesting character stuff to be mined there, for sure; I think Kane and Bellamy’s parallel redemption arcs are some of the best stuff they’ve done in the whole series (until 3A Bellamy regressed back to an asshole but let’s skip past that for the moment), illustrating the way that for both of them, the Culling was really a turning point where they realized that they will forever carry the burden of having been complicit in that massive loss of innocent life (Bellamy for throwing away Raven’s radio and Kane for not waiting like Abby asked him to) which could have been prevented if they had listened to the Griffins.  It’s beautifully executed, even in S1 when these two characters have never interacted onscreen, and it ramps up even more in S2 where we see them meet and immediately butt heads with each other before in S3 developing a real partnership.  (Which then got torn to shreds.  I’m still bitter over 3A Kellamy  I’M GONNA NEED A HUG IN S4 JASON DO U HEAR ME) (I mean I need Kane to hug Bellamy, not like I’m requesting a hug from Jason, TO BE CLEAR).  And I think the mother/daughter parallels are drawn beautifully as well, especially in S1 where we see Abby on the Ark and Clarke on the ground filling similar roles and working towards the same goal, barreling through the opposition however they must.

BUT.  If we’re talking about which characters are MOST SIMILAR, then I think you CANNOT get away from the reality that the parallels are actually gender-flipped.

Clarke has a lot of her mom in her, clearly, as well as a lot of her dad.  But she’s not actually the kind of leader her mom is.  She’s the kind of leader Kane is.  Abby and Bellamy are the ones with the crowd charisma and the stubborn recklessness; Clarke and Kane are the cool-headed, deliberate strategic thinkers.  Bellamy and Abby have quick minds and no fear and will do absolutely anything, no matter how insane, to protect the people they love.  You can map, beat-for-beat, so many of the things Bellamy does for Octavia onto the things Abby does for Clarke, and vice versa.  Abby sneaking the kids out the back door with guns in the middle of the night to go find Clarke? Bellamy would do that in a second.  Bellamy sneaking onto the dropship to make sure Octavia doesn’t go to earth unprotected?  ABBY AF.  They both begin the show as people who are fiercely focused on keeping the person they love most safe, and it makes them blind to ancillary consequences.  Bellamy will fight anyone.  Abby will tell any lie.  There is no such thing as too far, when the person you love is at stake.  WE know Abby’s hope that the kids are alive is borne out by fact, but NO ONE ELSE ON THE ARK KNOWS THAT.  From Kane’s point of view, she’s being as unreasonable and reckless as Clarke thinks Bellamy is when she yells at him about the radio.  Or think about Abby sneaking Bellamy and Finn out the back door with guns to go hunt for Clarke, even knowing she would get in trouble for it.  You know who else would do THAT EXACT SAME THING in those circumstances?  BELLAMY BLAKE.  I bet they cooked up that scheme together off-camera.  So what I think is interesting for both of them is how their circle expands over the course of three seasons to change the way they are as leaders, and the ways in which their recklessness is tempered by their leadership partners. 

I’m fascinated by the relationship between Clarke and Kane, and I hope we get more of it in S4.  I heard rumblings that they go together to find Kenza, the Nightblood scout, and I’m hoping we get a lil’ dad/daughter road trip bonding, because I think they have a really strong connection and they share a similar leadership brain.  Where Abby and Bellamy are quick and passionate and make snap decisions, Clarke and Kane are more calculating.  They’re thinking in the big picture and the longer term.  Floating 300 people to save the whole Ark, and irradiating the residents of Mt. Weather to save all the Sky People, are identical decision-making processes; not everyone can live, someone is going to have to die, so how to we map out the most effective path where the fewest of my people die as possible for maximum survival?  Whereas there’s nothing Bellamy wouldn’t burn to the ground to save Octavia.  Leadership isn’t PERSONAL for Clarke and Kane, not right off the bat.  It’s about the numbers.  It’s about as many people as possible surviving.  And so sometimes you have to let the bomb fall on Tondc, because letting those people die is the only way to give your own people the chance to live, even though Abby “there has to be another way” Griffin finds that notion so appalling she can hardly even recognize her daughter in that moment.  But you know who understood it immediately, and didn’t judge her?  Kane.  Kane and Abby’s scene underground in 2x13 is such a beautiful, crucial moment in their relationship, but it’s also the moment the show really begins to lean in on this idea that Kane can see Clarke more clearly than Abby can, because she’s Abby’s baby girl and Abby is still trying to protect her from harm - including from the harm of having to make, and then face the consequences of, terrible decisions.  But Kane is the one who tells Abby not to diminish either Clarke or Lexa’s leadership skills just because they’re young.  Kane is the one who calmly talks Clarke down when they’re trying to figure out who poisoned Lexa’s drink, using the same kind of coolheaded, rational language we can easily imagine Clarke using to one of the delinquents if the shoe was on the other foot.  And so it makes perfect sense that it would be Clarke and Kane who make the strategic decision, together, that Skaikru joining the Grounder Alliance is the smartest long-term tactical decision - a notion we see that Abby and Bellamy don’t like, because they, emotional thinkers that they are, still haven’t forgiven Lexa or decided they can trust her again.

I’m really interested in where the lines end up getting drawn in S4, but it definitely seems to me, from the bits and pieces we’ve seen and heard, that Clarke has some kind of crazy-ass save-the-world plan that other people think is too reckless or too dangerous or will have too high a casualty rate, and that the group sort of divides itself into factions based on who is willing to get on board and who is resisting (or just giving up and waiting to die).  And it does seem, from the trailer, that Kane and Abby are using the same language Clarke is using.  We’ve also heard that Bellamy and Clarke are back as a power duo again, so my guess is he’ll be on the squad too.  So what I’m really excited about, because we’ve never really had this before, is the four of them working together as a co-leadership team.  I want to see Chancellor Kane and Ambassador Clarke negotiating with Roan and Luna.  I want Abby and Bellamy working together in Arkadia to convince their people to go along with Clarke’s plan.  I want Clarke and Abby to talk about Lexa and Jake, about how you go on with a hole in your heart and how to grieve and heal.  I want Kane and Bellamy to talk through all the things that happened in S3, how Bellamy almost got Kane executed because he stopped trusting him, how ALIE made Kane almost murder Bellamy in cold blood, and where they go from here.  I want us to see the parallel relationship dynamics - the big-hearted, loving Griffins who are used to giving and receiving affection reaching out to the isolated protector men who are still getting used to the idea that they have a place they belong and people who care about them. 

TO CONCLUDE: Abby is Bellamy and Clarke is Kane and they’re a big beautiful leadership power squad family and I love them all with my whole heart THANK U AND GOODNIGHT

#Anonymous #From the Inbox #kabby #marcus kane #abby griffin #metas and headcanons #the 100 #the 100 meta #clarke griffin #bellamy blake #bellarke meta