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chilschuck · 3 days

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Hello! I don't know if requests are open, if not just ignore this. am not sure if this makes sense, but I had this idea where the reader's succubus takes straight up the form of Chilchuck. They are very self-concious of this, and since i see them as a calm and reserved person they will try to avoid them like the plague. They don't want Chilchuck to know at all costs, mostly because they fear to be turned down. But at some point, they both get separated from the party running eventually into a succubus. If it's too much information just take what it feels right for you!!

✦ AAAA i loved this idea so much that i had a bit too much fun with it, LOL! it ended up being more than a drabble somehow, so i really hope you enjoy it!! i hope it flows okay and doesn’t seem too rushed, as it’s been a while since i’ve written this much!! lots of love to you!! <3

— HYPOCRITE: chilchuck x gn!reader

꒰ warnings: ꒱ hurt/comfort ?? fluff + sfw! use of they/them for reader!

꒰ wc: ꒱ 1.8k (holy hell…..)

✦ if this is rough i am so sorry, i kinda let my brain take over and this was the result! nervous to post something this long since i’ve only ever posted lil tidbits, but i really hope you like it!!! <33

The walk back was deafeningly quiet. You couldn’t bear to even look in his direction, cheeks still hot in mortification at just what you had seen earlier. Usually you were stronger than this, but the idea of him knowing just what exactly you saw had your stomach in knots.

It wasn’t like you had never come in contact with a succubus before, but for it to take this particular form had your mind reeling. The heavy pit of guilt and shame kept twisting in you, and the more you thought about him, the more you felt sick. Even so, you could feel eyes burning into the back of your head just waiting for you to spill.

“What’s gotten you so quiet?” Chilchuck questioned, his brows raised at your current show of behavior. It was unlike you to shut yourself up like this, especially since you were known for being cool and collected in any situation. He would never admit it, but the lack of your voice amongst the others made him nervous.

You waited a moment to reply, the shakiness in your voice not getting past him. “It’s nothing, Chilchuck.”

And like hell it wasn’t, especially if it had you clamming up and avoiding his gaze. Knowing it would be better not to pry, he stayed silent. You were thankful for this.

“Everyone’s together now, right?” Laios called as you caught up to the rest of the party, your eyes still downtrodden. Not able to bring yourself to look in his direction, you kept your head down when motioning in the direction of the half-foot behind you. “Yeah, Chilchuck and I managed to find each other.”

Marcille was the second to notice your lack of enthusiasm, the calm air you usually exuded gone. Worried, she called out your name, pulling you out of the state you were in momentarily.

“Everything alright?” She whispered as the rest of the party walked ahead of you. Knowing how much it was killing you to hold everything in, you gave a frustrated sigh.

When you were sure everyone was out of hearing range, you spilled everything on your mind. How your succubus took the form of Chilchuck, how you’d been fighting off the feelings you held for him, how scared you were that he’d find out. Her head nodded with every concern you aired, but there was a certain sparkle in her eyes when you admitted to having feelings for him… Great.

“You’re certain he didn’t see?” She asked softly as you caught up to everyone else, and you gave her a nod of your own.

Her advice had been simple: maybe this was a sign to tell him how you truly felt. You wanted to scoff in that moment, knowing just how repulsed by inner party relationships the half-foot truly was. Telling him what happened seemed like the least intelligent thing to do, but you admired Marcille for her ability to see this in a hopeful light.

Envy coursed through you, wishing you could look at it hopefully, too. It just didn’t seem realistic, so you’d keep to yourself and try not to talk to him until these feelings died down inside. Certainly they would, right?

Days continued on, your relationship with Chilchuck turning into remorseful smiles and awkward silence. The tension was building, and he was convinced he couldn’t take much more of it.

The fact you hadn’t been seeking him out like you usually did struck him hard. You two would often spend nights chatting, voices soft and warm as you talked about everything that you could think of. He’d just started coming to terms that maybe he didn’t have to keep so much away from you, away from everyone else. This hit him harder than he’d like to acknowledge, and his attempts at reconciling whatever he did wrong fell flat.

Chilchuck only ever saw you talking to Marcille lately. He knew you two shared a friendship somewhat akin to his with you, so it wasn’t out of the ordinary at first. But that, paired with the fact you wouldn’t even lay your bedroll down near his, nearly drove him to insanity.

Gritting his teeth, he rested his cheek in the palm of his hand. This was getting nowhere, and if it continued he was sure he’d never let himself hear the end of it.

Laios, as softly as he could muster, called his name. “They’ve been ignoring you, haven’t they?” He spoke, brows furrowed as he studied Chilchuck’s expression. “Do you know why?”

He huffed, glare turning to focus on the blonde across from him. “If I knew, I’d tell you. But I don’t have a damn clue.”

Laios hummed, tapping his chin as Senshi listened in on their conversation. “Maybe you should try asking them. It never hurts to be honest with how you’re feeling, too.”

This was going to drive him up the wall. Every time he did try and corner you, you came up with some excuse as to why you were needed elsewhere. Chilchuck was left watching you leave him behind every single time. It only proved to make him feel even more scattered.

Before he could open his mouth to retort, he heard you stand up, wishing Marcille goodnight. Chilchuck begrudgingly noted that you seemed even farther away from him than usual. He sunk into his neckwarmer.

Looking down at his hands, he debated on just what he could have possibly done. This all happened after that damn succubus incident, and he wondered just what exactly you saw. You seemed not only distant from him, but from the whole party. Being an integral force in the group, having you seem so far away from everyone only served to build up rifts.

You were headed to the water fountain to wash your face, and Chilchuck assumed this would be the one chance he had. Following behind you, he called your name once enough distance from everyone had been built up. You took note of the aggravation that was laced in his tone.

Immediately you tried to think of a way to get out of talking to him. There had to be some excuse you hadn’t used, and as he approached you, you found yourself more and more cornered.

“Are you just planning to ignore me the rest of the damn time?” Chilchuck asked plainly, but you could hear the hint of concern. He continued to walk towards you, not giving you much of an opening to scatter. Panic settled in.

“You… Wouldn’t get it.” You whispered, finding yourself looking everywhere but at him. Chilchuck found this increasingly frustrating.

“What do you mean, ‘You wouldn’t get it?’ How am I supposed to get anything if you don’t tell me? I can see how you’re acting. Is whatever you really saw worth separating yourself from the entire party?”

His words cut you like a knife. You could hear the aggravation in his voice, chest seizing knowing it was because of you, because of your stupid fear. You swallowed harshly, trying your best to build up the courage you just couldn’t seem to find.

His body, caging you in and causing your back to hit the wall, continued to grow nearer. It felt like all the air left your lungs, struggling to gather just what you wanted, needed to say.

“You always say how you don’t want inner party relationships to ruin things,” you muttered, finding his closeness increasingly difficult to handle. “The last thing I want to do is put everyone in jeopardy like that.”

Chilchuck scoffed, confusion etched into his expression. “What? You saw a party member as the succubus or something? Don’t tell me—“

That tension that had been suffocating you before built itself back up to the point where you struggled for air. Before he could say just what had made you so ashamed the past week, you felt it bubble up in your throat.

“Yes, Chilchuck, it looked like you! Are you happy?! I didn’t want to tell you, couldn’t tell you. I…” Your hands shook, as if in shock of all that you were laying out in front of him. “I’ve been holding everything down inside for everyone’s sake! I’m not as strong as you, as strong as everyone else, okay?! I had no choice but to distance myself! I’m in love with you, and I know you don’t feel the same, so I just wanted that part of myself to stay hidden!”

You had hoped when, if, this had all finally come out, a weight would be lifted. Instead, you felt ten times heavier at seeing the realization in his eyes. Biting your tongue, tears welling up in the way they never could before, you pushed past him.

“I’m going.”

Yet he did just what you didn’t want him to do; grab your wrist and pull you back to that moment you tried so hard to forget in those few seconds. So he was going to reprimand you now? Tell you how irresponsible you are? Before you could spit out what was on your mind, his hands had wound around your collar and pulled you down to smash your lips against his own.

Everything was still in that moment. It was rough, deprived, filled with emotions that made your mind stutter. You tilted your head further into the kiss, still letting him take control. Despite the suddenness of it, you couldn’t help but pull him closer into you. After a beat, he pulled away, panting and cheeks rosy in what you could only guess was sheer relief.

“You’re so frustrating.” He whispered, still clutching onto the collar of your sleep shirt. “Hardheaded to no end. Drives me insane.”

You couldn’t form a sentence, still trying to catch up to what exactly just happened between you two. Was that… his way of telling you he felt the same? Even if it was sudden, it was very like Chilchuck. Blood rushed to your cheeks.

“So…?” Your voice began, matching the softness of his own. He clicked his tongue, and you could tell by the exasperation on his face that he was about to just up and groan at your cluelessness.

“I… have feelings for you, too. I know what I said before, about prioritizing work over everything else.” Chilchuck spoke, his voice having a slight wave to it. “I’m a damn hypocrite…”

“Apparently.” You replied, hearing him grumble under his breath, and for the first time in days, what felt like weeks, you laughed.

The sound made his head buzz. His heart beat in his ears, and for the first time in a while, he let himself smile too. Maybe he could get used to this being honest thing, if it meant staying close to you like this.

“I’m glad things worked out the way they did,” you hummed, the two of you walking back to where your party had decided to settle for the night. “Strange to think it’s all thanks to a succubus. Maybe I should give them more credit.”

Chilchuck rolled his eyes, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Sure. Tell me more about that next time, though. I want to know how handsome you really think I am.”

You couldn’t get back to camp fast enough.

— dividers by @/cafekitsune! <3

#⟡ lilia writes! 🌿#୨ chilchuck my beloved ୧ #oh my god it’s done #i refuse to reread it again in fear that it’s not good JSHKSHDKS #posts this then runs away #I HOPE YOU LIKE IT WAHHH!!!#chilchuck tims x reader #chilchuck x reader #dunmeshi x reader #dungeon meshi x reader #delicious in dungeon x reader

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haechvn · 3 days

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shuri having an attitude is so interesting to watch. her eyes get dark and filled with anticipation but the only thing it killing is you.

“ya! what do you mean I can’t taste you right now? what do you think I put my grills back on for? you are really starting to piss me off.”

you can’t deny how alluring she looks at the moment. long diamond studded chains dangling lowly, swinging between her v-neck tank and your lips. as she speaks, you get to see a glimpse of the fang-shaped grills she wants to so desperately seep into your skin but teasing her is so much fun. why give in now?

her slender hands grip at the sides of your waist, softly rolling the flesh between her fingers, unable to hold back the desire to be one with those favorite lips of hers. she whines as you push her head away from your hips, whispering about lightly she’ll make you come three times more than before if you just give her a chance. she promises to be good for you.

she traces her lips along your neck, sucking and biting until she leaves her print on you and no. you better not think about pushing her away this time or she might have to start using her strength on you.

“just one taste,” fingers tracing over you clit in an infinity motion because she wishes to suck you up for the same length of time. “I won’t bite you too hard this time my love. please.”

she’s already slipped your panties off and within a matter of seconds as your scent fills the air, and she completely and embarrassingly soaks hers.

her clit jumps in recognition of her home, wanting nothing more than to make the nastiest mess possible but oh you just can’t stop pretending. pretending like you don’t want her lips swallowing you whole and spelling out of much she adores you.

frustrated, she brings her hips to the edge of the bed and begins grinding, hissing softly and swearing in annoyance that she still can’t feel you. her mind is fuzzy and lost knowing that she’s two milliseconds away from bursting and she hasn’t even been able to slowly slide her slick, sopping pussy across your — ughhhh. the effect you have on her is unlike anything she has ever felt before.

“how many more ways can I beg you? why can't i just…," she whines, throwing her head back, curls bouncing in the air the way she wants to bounce on you. she’s rocking the bed with her slightly weighted thrusts, getting ahead of herself and insisting on needing to feel something. the diamonds in her mouth are staring down at you as her jaw drops in pleasure and oh fuck it. her lips need a place to stay and who are you to deny them of that any longer.

#shuri is a eater #shuri x reader #shuri smut #black panther x reader #black panther imagine #shuri imagine #shuri udaku x reader #black panther smut #princes shuri smut #princess shuri #mcu smut #mcu imagine #shuri angst #shuri x fem!reader #marvel smut

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lalalabelle · 2 days

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"Everything i ever did, i did for you.."

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x Reader

Warnings: just a lot of angst and some swearing

Summary: Yelling at Megumi about his stubbornness that reminds him of you.

Masterlist----check out the other stuff

"Why can't you just trust me?" Gojo chuckled to hide his frustration from Megumi while training at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. He didn't like having this conversation over and over again every time he went to train him and his other students.

"You can't just put someone in danger especially if it's your student!" Megumi was baffled at how unfazed his mentor was at the thought of another student risking his life to save his friend, to save him.

In truth, Gojo didn't like the thought of someone risking their life too but some things must be done in order to protect his loved ones and the son that he's adopted. He saw how willing Yuji was to fight for his friends and he just needed a little more increase in strength and power, that's why they have been training nonstop for the past few days and Megumi did not like that.

"Why can't we just be a team? Why can't i help him? We are supposed to stick together, doesn't that mean-" Gojo was pissed off now, he doesn't know how many times Megumi has argued with him about this and usually he would be calm about and try to reason with him but today wasn't a good day.

"In a real battle, you would not be there to protect him." Gojo glanced at Yuji and then back at Megumi. He did not understand why his student felt the need to question what he was doing when he has explained countless times that this was for the better.

"WHY NOT?!" Megumi was in disbelief when his teacher could only resonate that he would be out of the fight and that his friend was just going to fight for him. Gojo was shocked at his student's change in tone as he looked at him disapprovingly. "I WILL FIGHT. I'LL BE THERE-"

"Megumi..you don't know that." There was a lot of things he wanted to say, how his mind wasn't thinking clearly, how unpredictable the future is, how undefined the battles and wars are going to be, how even he doesn't know if everyone is going to live another day.

"YES. I. DO." Megumi was being stubborn, willing to do whatever it takes to convince his mentor that this wasn't what was best for him or what he wants. "If Yuji is going to fight, then we're going to fight together. All three of us"

Gojo looked away and closed his eyes, composing himself before saying something he might regret later. "You shouldn't even be near a fight! You are too important." He tried reasoning but he knew that it was hopeless, it was really hard to be on the sidelines and watching others fight for you when you are fully capable of doing it yourself.

"IM NOT!" Megumi yelled

"YES. YES YOU ARE" Gojo is getting impatient

"NO!" Snap!

Something broke inside Gojo as he felt tears on his eyes, threatening to fall.

He grabbed his blindfold and harsly ripped it out of his eyes and his tears were fully visible, looking at Megumi with desperation and sadness. "FUCK! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME DO THIS FOR YOU (Y/N)!" He yelled at Megumi then his eyes widened, he can't believe what he just said. He dropped his blindfold to the floor and walked away. "Enough about this. I'm done talking about it."

Megumi felt bad about the whole thing and went to comfort him under the large tree in their training grounds. "Gojo-sensei.."

"I'm sorry, i shouldn't have yelled at you today. It's just you look so much like her and it's funny 'cause you're not even related" He laughed bitterly and wiped his eyes looking at sky.

"She actually gave me something, it's like a hologram of our shared times together.." Megumi saw Gojo click something and then a hologram of you showed up infront of them, standing and smiling. Gojo kneeled to you like you were the most precious thing on this planet.

"Satoru.." The hologram of you spoke, frowning as you said his name. "Yes, love?" He replied back, eagerly looking at you like he had lost you for years.

"I want to be a sorcerer and protect people on this planet...you don't have to do this with me.." The hologram continued and looked at him sadly. "But i want to!" "I know you do.."

The hologram knelt down to his level and placed a hand on top of his. "Please understand..there's a possibility that we could die but even if we don't, we can never go back to our old lives again..."

Gojo shook his head as if saying that he does not care about those things if he can get to be with you. "Why would i want to go back to my old life, if you're here?" He tilts his head to the side and gives the hologram a grin that slowly turns into a sad smile.

You chuckled at his cute antics and cupped his cheek, looking at him fondly. "My satoru.."

"You're perfect..I-" When he went to touch your hand that was cupping his cheek, the hologram suddenly malfunctioned. Gojo looked down and sighed.

He sat back against the tree, looked at Megumi thrn back at the distance. "Everything i did, i did for her, and now she is in shoko's office passed out because i accidentally hurt her"

Megumi stayed silent and just listened to everything his teacher was saying.

"I guess since you were so much like her that i wanted someone to protect you too.."

#jjk gojo #gojo x reader #gojo satoru #jujutsu gojo #jujutsu kaisen #jjk headcanons #jjk x reader #jujutsu sorcerer #megumi fushiguro #gojo satoru x reader #angst #jjk angst #Spotify

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chaifootsteps · 2 days

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One of the things that frustrates me about Viv's designs is that they don't really tell me anything about the character's motivations or personality.

If I came knowing nothing about Hazbin and you tell me that Cherry Bomb is a punk from the 80's, Sir Pentious an inventor from Victorian England and Alastor a radio host from the 1920's I would have a very hard time believing you.

(((Especially since for some reason, Viv dresses almost all her male characters in Hazbin with some variant of the same suit and bowtie)))

But I think that no - other design frustrates me more than Nifty's. She is supposed to be a Japanese housewife from the fifties. Yet her dress is looks more like a Halloween costume of a fifties girl than something women would actually use at the time.

Her hair is not even accurate, it should be more curly since perms were really big among Japanese women during that time.

However, the fact that she wears a costume of a fifties woman could come in handy if you write a decent backstory.

Let's start by saying that Nifty was not an adult during the fifties, she was actually born during the early sixties into a very conservative and traditional family who told her that the only thing she needed to worry was to marry a decent man, have kids and take care of the house.

Like a 50's woman!

This caused Nifty, a very extroverted and playful child who loved bugs and mud, to have a pretty stressed-out childhood. Every time her mother found her playing in the garden and getting dirty she was beaten. The germo-phobia she developed as a adult was partially because of this, since filled with germs = being harshly punished she always made sure everything was clean.

Eventually when she was 19, her parents arranged a marriage with a businessman and they tied the knot not even a year later.

Her husband was not bad,

He was rather handsome, had a stable job, a big house in Tokyo and could even afford going on vacation once a year.

If only he wasn't the most boring man alive then things probably would have been different.

Whatever he genuinely loved Nifty or not is completely irrelevant when he treated her more like a housemate than an actual wife. They even slept in separate beds and the only time they spend together was during dinnertime and then 30 minutes of TV before going to bed.

NIfty was suffocating in her marriage.

But is not like she could say something. The one time she tried talking to her mom about it, she just told her to "be thankful" to have so much free time since things will change when she has children.

Well, she and her husband hadn't been intimate since their weeding night, so that wasn't happening any time soon.

That stayed the same for a while, until one night, while watching TV with her husband a local boy/band appeared on screen

It was the early 90s and boy bands were allll the rage.

New bands formed every day and this particular one didn't seem too different from the rest. Except that maybe, the Bad Boy of the group captivated a 30 year old Nifty and rocked her world in a way she hadn't experimented before.

At the start everything seemed normal, she started by buying one CD or two, attending meet and greats in local malls and going to their concerts. Nifty didn't want her husband getting involved, so she got a part-time job to cover those extra expenses and not use her husbands money.

Of course almost all the merch she bought was of Bad Boy

Soon, she started having this fantasies, dreams were B.B confused his undying love for her and took her away form her boring husband and into a live of adventure and music. B.B was a real man, rebellious and strong that would be able to keep emotion and passion in her life unlike her husband.

Those dreams helped her to live another day, and maybe it was because of this dependency that Nifty started to believe that those fantasies were real. That she and B.B were a secret couple and the meet and greats they had were really "dates" that they had to do in secret from her husband.

Unfortunately, it was only a matter a time before dear Nifty became one of those fans who you end up seeing in a police lineup and reading in the newspaper the minute she started stalking B.B and talking about him as if he was her boyfriend with whoever may listen.

All went into a breaking point when one day, Nifty just got tired waiting for B.B to take her away from her boring life. Thinking about it she just came to the conclusion that it was her dear old hubby the one that was keeping B.B away from her.

That has to be it.

Her husband must be preventing B.B from fulfilling his promise!

What lies did he told him about her?

Does he want me as his prisioner forever?!

This is not staying like this!

That night, after her husband fell asleep, Nifty woke up, went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and stabbed her spouse 30 times before ending his life with one clean slit in the throat.

Now that the bore is dead, she and her precious Bad Boy could be together forever! Now he has no excuse to not fulfill his promise! A new life filled with love, excitement and adventure awaits!

But first she needs to clean, everything ended up a disaster.

Maybe it was the excitement she was feeling, or it was too dark to properly read the labels, but mixing cleaning chemicals can actually be extremely dangerous. You may create a very dangerous gas that could potentially kill you.

That morning, the neighbors woke up due a very strong smell and they shouted the minute they found dead bodies of Nifty and her husband. She had her skin partially burned as she had felt face down the mix of cleaning solutions that took her life.

And you and me know, where she ended

Congratulations, Niffty's yours now! You're clearly more qualified to be writing her. Please cherish her.

#katsdrawlike #hazbin hotel critical #viv stuff #actual blog post

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pinkieclown · 2 days

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Cats The Musical Autism Headcanons

because these kitties are autistic okay!! honestly i think all the characters can be autistic these are just the ones i have specific ideaz for :3

mungojerrie & rumpleteazer (cause the twins definitely share some traits lol)

- the talking talkers… they’re both hyper-verbal :) while their chattiness can sometimes help with their schemes (they like to engage a friendly policeman in conversation!) but usually they just talk cat’s ears off cause they like talking

- always up in each other’s space, these two have very little sense of personal space and are always grabbing each other’s shoulders/arms or leaning on each other, snuggling, or generally being close to each other

- both love jumping up and down or running around to stim! sometimes they link arms and run in a circle for minutes at a time just to get their energy out

- they’re pretty spontaneous when it comes to their heists, usually jumping into it before fully working out a plan, but both can get very upset when something goes wrong/doesn’t go their way

mungojerrie

- TERRIBLE with eye contact, he’s always looking at everything except the person he’s talking to. definitely adds to his kinda ‘shifty’ reputation

- loves oral stimming, usually chewelry or something of the sort, but will absentmindedly chew on p much anything in his reach (pens, plastic, teazer’s arm, etc)

- has poor volume control, tends to talk just a bit too loud or too quiet depending on the situation

- tends to accidentally interrupt/talk over others cause he doesn’t really understand their cues

rumpleteazer

- very touchy-feely… but only on her terms! she loves initiating snuggles hugs or play-fights, but if someone touches her when she’s not expecting/in the mood, she won’t hesitate to take a swipe at em (jerrie is usually the only exception)

- tippy-toe walks alllll the time. helpful for moving quietly when she needs to but will do it for no reason at all

- loves to give cats nicknames, but doesn’t understand how they work so just decides on random nouns to call her friends

- has a hard time understanding metaphors and sarcasm

etcetera

- THE STIMMER!! she loves to stim! usually flapping her paws, tapping her toes, or bouncing in place, but pretty much any repetitive movement is a stim for her <3

- related to her stimming, she cannot sit still! she’s always moving around, playing with toys, or shifting from side to side even when she’s supposed to stay still

- loves to knit or crochet with jenny, since its repetitive and keeps her hands busy, plus she gets a cute scarf at the end!

- has echolalia, she often repeats words/sounds other cats say, usually just to feel it in her mouth

mistoffelees

- non/semi-verbal, only speaks when he’s very comfortable or around certain cats (like victoria or tugger)

- loves to perform but is naturally quite shy and quiet, so tends to lean on his ‘stage persona’ to express his more dramatic and expressive side! when he isn’t in that mindset though he’s very aloof

- very diligent about keeping himself clean and tidy. he can feel when even one tuft of fur is out of place and it BOTHERS him

- has hypersomnia, he’s always sleepy and gets worn out pretty quick (especially after his bigger magical feats)

- has very specific day to day routines (wakes up at a specific time, visits the junkyard on specific days of the week, etc) gets really frustrated and stressed if they’re interrupted or changed

- he’s a house-cat, but refuses to wear a collar (he hates how it feels)

sillabub

- didn’t speak for a long time growing up, but at like age 4 (in cat years) suddenly started speaking in full sentences. demeter was very surprised

- has a (terrifying) habit of slipping into this wide-eyed hundred yard stare when she zones out. it took a while for everyone to get used to that

- very sensitive to lights and colors, she’s the first to notice when the light shifts ever so slightly, and too-bright lights or colors are very overstimulating for her

- doesn’t like being touched except by her moms and sister (demeter & bomba and electra, respectively) and even then only in certain moments

- special interest is the night sky, she knows all the names of the constellations and can tell you the phase of the moon on any given night

- makes A LOT of eye contact

#hope yall enjoy my silly words!! might make more for other cats if i have ideasss #cats the musical #jellicle cats #also this should go without saying but dont tag as mungoteazer pls #mungojerrie #rumpleteazer #etcetera cats #mr mistoffelees #mistoffelees #sillabub #jemima cats #autism #clown honks

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tsams-confessions · 2 days

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Just watched the latest episode of Sun's therapy and I'm so frustrated!!! I love Earth so much but she literally talked over Sun and told him how happy he seems now. Meanwhile Sun just sits there quietly and just agrees with her. And of course he didn't touch on any true problems. He diverted like he always does. Honestly if they're actually trying to make Sun be happy now they're doing a terrible job so I truly hope they're instead building up to something. The fact that Sun actually brought back up the whole "maybe me and Moon shouldn't have split" really sealed it for me. The last time he brought that up was when his mental health was tanking, and if it's not a subtle sign that Sun is in fact not okay, then all my faith in the writers is dead lol...

#sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #sams #tsams confession #< block this if you dont want to see these #mod 1blood

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taylortruther · 2 days

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Its interesting how she throws in "I wouldn't marry me either" as like an after thought in YLM

imo it's less of an afterthought, and more like an explosion of the deep fears or resentments she's been burying. the song obviously starts off sad, it starts of really mellow. and over the course of all the verses, it builds and builds. although ylm is far from my fave taylor song, i love how well it mimics the way a fight, or your internal dialogue, can go from zero to sixty when you're in so much emotional pain and there's so much baggage and long-built bitterness.

it's like the song builds and builds, she's discussing her regret, her frustration with his lack of movement, and then she just explodes.

it's like "i wonder if it's time, i'm so tired of this pain, you're losing me... you've been in denial about how lost we are, i know how much you hate all my pain, but you're losing me... but how long do you really think this could go on!? and i'm pissed! i gave you everything! i was killing myself for you! and i know you never wanted to marry me, well, i don't blame you, i'm everything you said i was, but i only did it because i wanted you to love me!! and now you can't even do that! i'm so over this..."

#ylm

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river-of-wine · 5 hours

Text

I find it so frustrating when Karen’s worsening issues with alcoholism and her very probable death because of it are solely attributed to Sean’s death.

I love Sean and it’s tragic that so few people really acknowledge his death, but it feels like it’s completely shoving all of Karen’s complexity aside. Karen’s drinking is already concerning in chapter 2 and 3 when Sean is very much alive, and while yes, it does certainly get even worse once he is dead, Karen has more on her mind than just him. In fact, when she is at her absolute worst in chapter 6, Sean has already been dead for a good while. If it was just him, her grief over him, Karen would’ve been in this state a lot sooner, but evidently, there are plenty of other factors at play that should be obvious given the state of the gang and the multiple deaths they have endured since Sean was killed.

Sean’s death certainly affected Karen, she is one of very few people to say anything about his loss after he is gone and she is in a bad way in chapter 4, but to say she drank herself to death entirely because of his loss is just blatantly ignoring the rest of who Karen is. Her other struggles, her other relationships, the other events that impact her, the fact that her addiction is not exclusively hinged on one man. Karen is her own person, she has her own role in the story, and she is more than whatever you want to view her relationship with Sean as

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #karen jones #I love Karen and whenever I see somebody say she only got worse because of Sean it kind of annoys me #people already ignore her development beyond just her drinking #but to say it’s only because Sean died ignores the reality of that too

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mnnuni · 22 hours

Text

Always, more than enough

Evan Buckley x Female reader

summary: Reader is going through somenthing at uni, but Buck's the perfect boyfriend words: 1484 warnings: smut Author's note: this is the first of my work that i ever publish, so please try and be kind. Also, english's not my first language so I'm sorry in advance for any mistakes and stuff

(Y/N) had just finished her last lesson of the day;she didn't imagine the second year could be even worse than the first, not that she didn't like her major or studying for it ... It was the ambience that she started to despise. Even if she found a solid group of friends, there was this bunch of girls that she really really couldn't stand. And it was so frustrating that at least one of them was in every lesson of her everyday schedule.

It wasn't like she argued with them or somethingbut the fact that they always had to say something about her and her life

The worst was when they spoke about Evan.He literally was the perfect boyfriend and (Y/N) couldn't tolerate their comment about their relationship.

"You sure he doesn't need a nurse? I could be his" said Sarah one time, and for this (Y/N) could blame her jealousy for her reaction because she knew Evan was an extremely attractive guy. But when Jennifer said "I really don't know why he's with you..." and then Carmen "yeah I'm sure he would want more than someone like you".

(Y/N) was sure of her relationship and in fact never really answered that type of comment...But there was that part of her she didn't have the strength to blame for being hurt about them.

How can a girl say that to another girl?

She couldn't answer that either.

(Y/N) was currently walking through theuniversity's courtyard to go to the bus station, all while recording an audio to her boyfriend about her day after he send her some texts when he woke up later in the evening after his shift.

"God I'm so fucking tired Buck, Mr Brown really has to learn how to not shout bec-" she suddenly stopped at the sign after her "no fucking way".

Her phone registered that too and when she arrived inches from Evan his phone rang for her notification.

"what the hell are you doing here?"

he was smiling.

God.

"surprise?" and then he smirked. (Y/N) nearly jumped to hug him and wrap her arms around his neck, but when they were about to kiss she reminded him "not here" and glanced around.

Evan knew she wasn't a fan of PDA and so when she would rather kiss him in private he didn't ask her too much about it. But now it was starting to feel strange she got so nervous near him at college...

"come on, you're at mine's tonight".

(Y/N) only smiled brighter and followed him to his car while she told him all about her day; and Evan listened to everything she said, every topic she defined interesting so he could bring it up later, every stop at the coffee shop she did so he would regulate her caffeine for the night and let her sleep, every essay she said she would forget so he could remind her eventually. He loved to listen to her. He loved when she rambled like that because she actually stopped his overthinking of everything when she did.

"shit! I was supposed to grab dinner at myparents's tonight" she suddenly said when they entered the car.

"already did that." He answered. She didn't know whether to be confused or impressed.

"I called your mum and told her my plan. Because I know how you hate Wednesdays and your mum cooks for you on them. After work I stopped at your parents'house and grabbed dinner -which by the way smelled delicious- and then came grab you"

Yeah... She was definitely impressed

She bent over Buck's car console and kissed him. (Y/N) was beyond grateful to have him in her life.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first thing (Y/N) did after she took off her shoes the moment Evan closed his house door was to grab his face and pull him in a desperate kiss. He was kind of shocked at the sudden urgency of her hands on him but he couldn't really complain, it was so long since they could kiss like this because of their packed schedules.

Bucks groans in (Y/N)'s mouth and starts to fidget with her jeans untill she stepped away to get off her shirt first. Buck was so distracted from kissing her breasts that he didn't realise she stripped down her pants too. (Y/N) took his face again and licked his lips, smiling, "now strip".

She was so demanding, Evan's cock twitched just for her tone. He quickly took off his shirt while (Y/N) turned around to go in the bedroom. It was then that he smirked, finally realising how tiny her panties were.

"look at that, my super smart slut" he said smacking her ass. She let out a yelp but she was smirking too while she led him to his room. Evan just followed like a lost puppy trying to get out of his jeans on the way.

The moment he saw (Y/N) finally, completely naked he pinned her to the wall and got on his knees

"can I?"

It was such a turn on that even after years of being together and the fact that (Y/N) was ready naked and all for him, Evan still asked for her permission.

She answered putting her hand through his hair and putting his head close to her.

He was so good at licking her.

It didn't last long because Evan was entering her pussy with his tongue and then he started sucking on her clit and -

"Evan" she breathed out.

The first time she did it, Buck was shocked at how he was affected by the sound of his name from her lips. But now he got addicted to it.

(Y/N) was a moaning mess and Buck started to alternate a lick and a bite to her lips, "Baby I-I really love this but-" , another moan at the sign of Buck stopping immediatly and looking at her from his lashes.

He was so hot.

"I need you".

That was enough for Buck to grab her by the thights and put her on the bed; he crawled over her and smiled but that didn't last long because (Y/N) started to stroke his cock and he fucking whimpered.

"Sweatheart" he started moving his hips in her hand, "yes baby?", she smirked at his flushed state "ple-se". (Y/N) put his cock near her entrance and when he felt her wetness Buck completly lost it and pushed into her. They both moaned at the new contact.

Evan gave her few moments to get adjusted before he started thrust so hard she scratched his back with her nails.

"Yes! Keep going Evan"

He kissed her neck and never once thought to change the pace because he could feel (Y/N) clench around him signaling him she was close. It was only when Buck started to moan more loudly that she allowed herself to really be in the moment and come on his dick. He followed shortly after her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They stayed on the bed readjusting their breathing and cuddling for another half an hour before Buck got up and microwed them some food to eat in bed. (Y/N) couldn't even think to get up, Evan only worsened her tiredness.

The atmosphere was so confortable while they eat half covered with Evan's sheet, (Y/N) covered in one of his shirt, that she thought it was the right moment to answer the dubts that was forming in her boyfriend's mind since some weeks;

"I'm sorry", he looked up at her confused but she wasn't looking at him so he knew she needed time to actually talk.

"Do you think I'm enough for you?" at this Evan put his napkin away and got closer to her "what are you talking about baby? You're everything for me"; (Y/N) left a breth escape her lips and a light smile starts to form on them, but she got Buck worry now.

"What happened (Y/N)?" he put his hand on her thigh and followed her eyes in order to got her to look at him. She breathed in again. "Some girls at school... let's just say they think you could do better than me". Evan immediatly wrapped his arms around her.

"Oh love, you know they only say this 'cause they're jelous of you", she chuckled "yeah i know, it's stupid and I'm sorry I got you upset by avoiding you around campus but i really hate when they comment about us and it's even more stupid because I never cared for others opinion but when it comes to you I-"

Evan stopped her by kissing her.

"Thank you for finally telling what you were stressing about" another kiss "don't ever think you have to apologize, to me of all people, for your feelings" another kiss "and don't you ever, ever think you're not enough"

(Y/N) smiled at him.

"I love you". It was her that kissed him now.

"I love you too".

#evan buckley x reader #evan buckley #911

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maximoffcarter · 3 days

Text

Cold.

Pairings: Casey Novak x reader.

Summary: Based on 9x19: Cold. The squad is involved in a mess made by Lake without any guidance of what really happened. Casey Novak had made sure to tell all of them that they would do it by the book; reader was willing to do anything as long as it was the right thing to do, but once she finds out her girlfriend is getting too carried away, she has to stop her.

A/n: This was requested by an anon, and lemme be honest with you here...I have rewatched SVU so many times, from season 2 to probably season 19 (mostly because I love rewatching from 2 to 9), but the truth is that I have seen this episode probably 2 times in my life, 3 if we count this time. The way I feel so frustrated that they decided to 'end' Casey's character this way, was so frustrating for me, I actually sobbed knowing Casey wouldn't be back the first time that I watched it. Of course, after that, Casey's farewell was not any better, and I'll forever be mad. So I thank the anon who asked for this request for giving me the chance to rewrite this and pretend as if Casey never actually left. There is some angst, some things I changed, but I do hope you guys enjoy this. Enjoy and leave your comments, reblogs, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

*not my gif*

For the last five years that Casey Novak had been working in Sex Crimes, she learned that life was definitely not fair, and justice was not what they painted in Law School. She had tried her best to surpass the guilt whenever she lost a case, to move on and go on with the next case, she saw how the squad easily did it. Of course she knew it wasn’t easy, she knew that it also hurt them, and they probably carried it with them for a long time, maybe for their whole life. She had talked about many cases with them, some that they remembered from years ago, some that were never forgotten. She also learned that working with SVU, definitely changed her way of thinking; when she started working with them, she wanted to do everything by the book, because she had heard that sometimes the squad made things they were not supposed to do just to favor them, which of course part of her understood why they did what they did, but she needed to go by the book or the DA’s office would go for her head. She slowly grew up with them, which also meant that her work ethic changed entirely once she learned that sometimes, they didn’t have to go by the book; do it legally, but not exactly in order.

Casey learned that the squad always had each other’s back, and slowly, they started having hers, which made her believe that they had accepted her as part of their family. They had their ups and downs, Casey got on their nerves just as much as they got in hers, she learned to treat them, she learned to go at their same pace, she learned to be part of their squad, and truth to be told, she did not regret anything. Branch and Donnelly had warned her about how the squad worked, and that she had to look out for herself and not exactly them, but Cragen’s words always stuck with her; it was only them, they only had themselves, no one else, and she learned to embrace that. She learned so many things from them, things she’d always cherish, things that would always stay with her, things that still upset her but, they were her family, and she’d do anything for them.

Meeting y/n had been the best part of joining SVU, she was also a new recruit and both of them basically grew together in the job, bringing them together; what started as a friendship, became more as the time passed, and even if it was unexpected, they were more than happy to embrace it. They both learned from each other, and even if y/n was more on Casey’s side than the squads, sometimes y/n had her moments where she really needed to be on the squads side, just because she knew they tried their best. They supported their rights and wrongs, y/n joked that she’d always accept any wrong that Casey did, and she’d be by her side no matter what, and Casey believed the same, she had joked that she’d get y/n out of any possible problem, even if it meant getting herself in trouble; and y/n knew she meant that. Doing it for another person? Y/n would always protect her squad, always. Casey? She would, she loved them. But get as far as losing her job for them? Y/n didn’t think so. Right?

“Casey clearly said we cannot question him, Elliot. Are you really gonna go to the hospital and do exactly what she said we could not do?” Y/n asked as she followed Elliot and Olivia to their car.

“We need to know what we’re dealing with, y/l/n. We’re basically blind here, how are we supposed to help him if he’s not letting us?” Elliot turned to look at y/n as he opened the door of the car.

Y/n shrugged. “Elliot…” she sighed. “I know this is not looking good, we have no idea what really happened here. But we cannot just go and do what we’re not supposed to do. We need to stick to what Cragen and Casey said.”

“We’re just gonna check on him, y/n. Nothing more.” Olivia shrugged as she looked at y/n.

Y/n scoffed. “You don’t even believe that yourself, Liv.”

“If you wanna go by your girlfriend’s rules, we won’t blame you. But don’t try to stop us from doing our jobs.” Elliot said before he got in the car, followed by Olivia.

Y/n sighed as she watched them go. “You know them, and honestly, I don’t blame them.” Melinda said as she stood beside y/n.

Y/n turned her head to look at her. “I don’t like this at all. I know he has a reason for why he did this, but this is not looking any good. Right?”

Melinda sighed as she shook her head. “No, not at all.”

********************

“I take it that you knew Elliot and Olivia were going to the hospital to see Lake.” Casey looked up as y/n walked in her office, closing the door behind her.

Y/n sighed. “I promise that I tried to stop them. They’re stubborn.”

“Just like someone I know.” Casey grinned.

Y/n chuckled softly as she sat on a chair, sighing. “What are we gonna do, Case? Melinda ruled it a homicide.”

Casey shrugged. “Get as much evidence as we possibly can and hope for the best.” She looked at y/n with a serious look on her face. “We need to do this by the book, y/n. We cannot risk anything here.”

Y/n nodded. “I know.” She sighed as she stood up and walked to Casey, pushing her chair, and sitting on her lap, wrapping her arms around her neck. “Everything will be okay, and whatever you need, I’ll be here.”

Casey smiled as she wrapped her arms around y/n’s waist. “I know you will. You’re the only one who listens to me.”

“And they hate me for that.” Y/n chuckled softly.

“You’re just being a good girl.” Casey grinned as she leaned in to kiss her lips softly.

“I am.” Y/n said against her lips, kissing her again but the kiss was interrupted by her cellphone, groaning softly as she pulled it out. “Y/l/n.” She frowned and pulled away from Casey. “I’m on my way.” She hung up the call and looked at Casey. “He’s not at the hospital.”

Casey sighed. “Damnit, Lake.”

“I gotta go, I’ll call you if anything comes up.” Y/n kissed her lips one more time before standing up.

“Please do and be safe!” Casey sighed as she saw her girlfriend go. This was definitely going the wrong path.

********************

“I know what you want me to say, but the science doesn’t support it.” Melinda said as she stared back at Casey.

Casey stared back at Melinda, taking a deep breath. “When the defence gets these lab reports, they might have enough for reasonable doubt.” She stopped for a moment as she stared at Melinda. “Can you live with that?”

Melinda shook her head. “If I have to. Because I sure as hell won’t risk my reputation for a verdict we didn’t earn.”

Casey stared at Melinda for longer than she wanted to, she could tell the stare she was giving her as Melinda took a step back and her face relaxed; Casey was definitely upset, and she didn’t mean to be upset at what she was saying, but none of this was gonna help them win the case. She only thanked Melinda and left the office, walking as fast as she could to get out of the building and get some fresh air. She was frustrated that this was happening, the last thing she had expected was to have to deal with something like this with one of the detectives. She knew they could do dumb stuff, she had to get them out of trouble before, but something like this? Never in a million years did she expect that something like this would happen and that she’d have to solve it. Not only that, but actually thinking about risking her career for it. She decided to go back home as she thought going back to the office was no use, she’d only be frustrated to be there and she didn’t need any interruptions from the squad, so she took all the files home. She was making some notes when she heard the door closing.

“Hi baby.” Casey said softly as y/n walked to the living room, looking up to offer a smile but the look on her girlfriend’s face told her that something had happened. “What’s wrong?” Her smile fainted then, scared that something else had happened.

“Tell me why Melinda called me and told me to make sure you were not about to do something stupid.” Y/n crossed her arms as she stared at Casey, standing right in front of her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Casey simply said.

“Don’t lie to me, Casey. I thought you said we had to do this by the book. You were the first one to say that we could not question Lake, and to have you updated on everything. And now Melinda tells me that you want to risk your job?” Y/n shook her head. “Please tell me she’s just tired and she read the room wrong.”

Casey sighed as she put aside her notepad, looking up at y/n. “If the defense gets this, they’ll have enough proof to let him walk free, and then we’re screwed. We won’t even have a chance to save Lake from this.”

“Casey, I hate to say it and be harsh about it, but he got himself into this fucking mess, he didn’t want our help until he saw he was really drowning. You need to do what you can, and that’s it.”

“If I can do more, trust me, I will, y/n. There’s still a chance.”

“A chance?! And what do you have to do to get this chance, Casey? Hide the evidence? Stop Melinda from testifying?”

“She’ll say what she told me and describe it as best as she can.”

Y/n stared at Casey and shook her head. “Please tell me the evidence was sent.” She stared at Casey with concern on her face. Casey looked down at her hands and sighed. “Fuck Casey…” y/n ran her hands through her hair, starting to pace around the room. “You said we’d go by the book!”

“If we let them have it, we won’t win this case!” Casey stood up from the couch then, feeling frustration wash over her body.

Y/n turned to look back at Casey. “And you think they won’t find out?! It’s Donna for fuck sakes, Casey! It’s fucking Petrovsky! You want to get in trouble?!”

“I��ll say the reports are not complete yet! I’ll send them, just not yet, not by tomorrow.”

Y/n scoffed. “What the hell is wrong with you, Casey?! You could lose your job for this!”

“Wouldn’t you do the same?! He’s part of your squad! Other times, I see you guys doing the impossible to be able to get the minimum of evidence, and now you guys are stopping yourselves and doing nothing!”

“Because you told us not to! For once, we’re listening, Casey! And you’re the one screwing around! If you do this, you’re risking your license, and you know it!” Y/n shook her head. “And don’t give me that crap that if this isn’t justice, you don’t wanna do this anymore, because we both know you wouldn’t want to lose your career over something like this.”

“I’m doing what I’m supposed to do. He needs to go to jail.” Casey walked to y/n, trying to stop her from pacing around the living room.

Y/n scoffed, standing right in front of her. “Are you doing this for justice or for Lake?” She raised her brows.

Casey frowned and shook her head. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re gonna tell me that Lake didn’t want to go on a date with you before he found out you and I were dating. Oh, because I remind you that you didn’t say shit about it, and you just played along. Yeah, Fin told me about it.”

Casey scoffed. “Are you doing this because you’re jealous of him? Nothing happened and that was nothing, and you know that! This is not about him.”

“You said it, we’re not doing anything for him. You’re so worried for him, you’re willing to cover up for him and risk your job.”

“I’d do the same and more for you.”

“It’s not me who fucked up.” Y/n snapped, her eyes never leaving Casey’s. “I’m right here, doing exactly what you asked me to do. And I expect you to do the same, Casey.”

“Or what?” Casey snapped.

Y/n shook her head. “I seriously cannot believe you. You’re truly unbelievable. I am not gonna let you do this.” She walked out of the living room, not wanting to look at Casey anymore.

“Where are you going?!” Casey followed her, trying to ignore the range she felt.

“Ask Lake, since you’re teaming up with him now.” Y/n snapped before she walked out of the apartment and slammed the door closed.

Y/n would be lying if she said she didn’t feel a little jealous at the thought of Casey worrying too much about this case. She knew that Casey was mainly doing this to put that bastard behind bars, she was right, he deserved to go to jail, and he was the only person she could prosecute. If they didn’t win this, Lake would be in more trouble. And it’s not that she didn’t care about him, she did, but he had decided to drown himself until it was too late to ask for help. There was still a slight chance, but even then, there was nothing else they could do to help him. Y/n was angry that Casey was putting someone else before herself, she didn’t care it wasn’t for her, she knew Casey meant it when she said she’d do this and more for y/n, because y/n would do the same for Casey. But the thought of knowing that Casey was going to risk her career over this, made her angry and helpless. She didn’t know where she was going, it was still early, she could either go to the precinct to try to find anything else to help the case, or she could simply walk around to calm her anger. But before she could figure out where she was heading, she was walking inside a building and into the elevator. She kept fidgeting with the promise ring that Casey had given her, trying to control both her anxiety and her anger. As the doors opened, she walked through the hallway and for a moment stood by the door before knocking.

“Come on in.”

Y/n opened the door and took a deep breath. “Donnelly.”

Elizabeth looked at y/n and huffed a laugh. “C’mon, y/n. Drop the mannerisms. Anything I can help you with?”

Y/n sighed as she closed the door and smiled shyly. “I sure hope you can.”

Elizabeth stared at her for a moment before she took her glasses off, putting them on her desk and looking back at her. “What happened? Are you alright?”

“I am. This is about Casey.” Y/n said as she sat down.

“Is she okay? What happened?”

“She’s okay, for now. But I need you to take Casey off the Crane case.”

Elizabeth frowned. “Why would you want me to kick your girlfriend off this case? She’s your ADA. I don’t want to hear if you both had a fight over something stu-“

“She’s thinking about doing something stupid, Liz. And if I’m here, it’s not for you to tell on her, but to help me avoid it before it’s too late.” Y/n stared at her with a serious look.

“I need more than that, y/n.” Elizabeth raised her brow.

“She wants to hold the file that provides the evidence of the case, which is sort of more help to the defense than to us.” Y/n sighed as she shook her head. “I know she’ll hate me for telling you this, I…I might even lose her for this.” She huffed a chuckle. “But Liz…you need to take her off the case. I don’t want her losing her license and I know you don’t want this for her either. You can scold her, suspend her, whatever but please…don’t let her ruin her career. We both know this is not Casey.”

Elizabeth sighed as she shook her head. “Y/n…if she’s willing to do this-“

“She doesn’t know what she’s doing. I know me telling you this has the same risk if she does it anyway. But I want you to consider that I came here so you can stop it before this actually goes further. Please, Elizabeth. I know you don’t want Casey to ruin her career too. Please.” Y/n whispered softly as she felt tears in her eyes.

Elizabeth nodded as she sighed. “I’ll call Melinda and tell her to send me a copy, I’ll send the file myself and assign someone else to the case. I’ll call Casey to come to the office.”

Y/n tilted her head. “Will you report her?”

Elizabeth stared at her for a moment. She shook her head as she sighed. “No. But she will be punished for this. You too know that what she’s doing is not right.”

“And that’s why I came to you for help.”

“I know. I do wish you luck, though.” Elizabeth offered a faint smile.

Y/n sighed. “I think she already hates me. This will only be a bonus.”

Y/n talked to Elizabeth for a while until she decided she’d go back to the precinct to clear her mind for a bit, trying to talk to the rest of the squad, updating herself on where they were with the case. Two hours or so passed before Cragen broke the news that they had a new ADA for the case, and that whatever happened, they now had to inform her instead of Casey. Of course everyone stared at y/n, confused as to what was happening but y/n had no words, she had nothing to say about it, even if she wanted to tell them that it was her fault, that all of this would go to hell because of her, she just didn’t want them to find out yet, she had enough with arguing with Casey, and the last thing she needed was the squad yelling at her.

Eventually, she decided to go home, knowing that as much as she tried to keep herself busy, she couldn’t avoid Casey forever. She took her time to walk back home, missing one subway and then taking her time to walk back home. She took a deep breath once she was right in front of her door, getting her keys and opening the door slowly, noticing that most of the lights were off. She made sure to lock the door, and slowly walked through the apartment, until she noticed that the light for their bedroom was on, perfectly knowing that Casey was there. She took a deep breath before she walked inside the bedroom, finding Casey sitting at the edge of their bed, her arms crossed and her eyes staring at the floor. Y/n thought for a moment to go to the bathroom and give Casey a bit more time, but she was worried and scared of what had happened in Elizabeth’s office, so she decided to accept whatever was coming.

“Casey.” Y/n whispered softly.

“You went to Donnelly.” Casey simply said, her eyes still staring at the floor.

Y/n sighed softly. “I had to, Casey.”

“You didn’t have to do anything. I told you I’d deal with this.” Casey’s voice was low, she was not yelling, she was not going off on y/n -yet-, but y/n could definitely tell that she was filled with anger.

“I was not going to let you lose your job.”

“Even if it meant going to my boss and telling her what I was doing, knowing perfectly that the result could be the same.” Casey finally looked up at her, her eyes puffy and red.

Y/n’s heart sank as she stared at Casey. “Casey…I-I asked Elizabeth to not let you do this, so you didn’t lose your license. I didn’t-“

“She just suspended me. A month without payment.” Casey sighed. “And I’m off the case.”

Y/n almost sighed loudly in relief but knew that it could piss Casey even more. “I’m sorry, I-“

“No, you’re not.” Casey shook her head as she stood up, walking to y/n. “You’re not sorry. You decided to go to her to tell her what I was doing, and you thought you were doing this for me, but you were not. You didn’t want to deal with whatever happened next.”

“Casey, that’s not-“

“You were jealous that Lake was interested in me, that he tried everything to talk to me before he knew we were dating. You were not even thinking about putting that asshole behind bars, and now, he’s definitely not going to, he’ll walk free. And you know what, this won’t be on you, it’ll be on me.” Casey tried to hold back her tears as she stared at y/n the whole time, feeling both anger and frustration taking over her. “One way or another, there was the chance of me losing my license. If Elizabeth would’ve wanted to, I would’ve been called before the bar. Am I supposed to thank you?” She squinted her eyes.

“I did this for you, Casey. Even if it meant you hating me, I did this, so you didn’t lose your license and your job, because I know how much you love this job.”

“You’re right. I do love it more than I love you. I’d do anything for this job.” Casey snapped before she walked out of the room.

Y/n felt her body starting to shake as Casey’s words played over and over again in her mind. She knew Casey would be mad at her, but saying this to her? And the painful thing was that she actually believed that Casey meant it. Y/n sobbed as she sat on the edge of the bed, trying to hold back her tears but it was too late for that. Was Casey gonna leave her after this? What if Casey was right and she did this because she was clouded with jealousy? But no. All she wanted to do was prevent Casey from getting into a bigger problem. She wanted Casey to keep her job and her license, she knew it would be way worse if this was used again Casey in court, not only would Donna bring it up to the jury, but Petrovsky would make things worse, and then Elizabeth would’ve done something more than just suspending her. She did it for Casey. She was only looking out for her, and now Casey was mad. And y/n didn’t know if there would be a chance to fix this.

********************

Y/n had decided to stay at the precinct with the rest of the squad waiting to hear from the ADA how the trial was going. Y/n knew anyway what was going to happen already, and she felt guilty, not letting her squad know what had happened with Casey, what she had done, they were definitely going to blame her. And they had every right, Casey had a right to be mad too. She had not gone back to their apartment at night, getting a call from Elliot saying that Casey had stayed with him, and that they could talk back in the precinct, but she really didn’t want to talk about it. To anyone. Cragen finally came back with the news that the jury was back, and the bastard had walked free, there was nothing they could do, the ADA would try to do it again, but y/n knew that even if they did, there was not much of a chance for them to win. Everything was definitely going wrong, and this had been her fault. And she couldn’t even go to Casey because she was not talking to her, so she had to keep it all to herself. She decided to go lay down for a bit, tears rolling down her tears as soon as her head hit the pillow, quietly sobbing. She didn’t notice the door had opened and Olivia had walked in, she had noticed y/n’s attitude since they arrived early in the morning. She walked slowly to y/n and sat on the edge of the bed, her hand going to y/n’s back.

“Y/n…” Olivia whispered softly.

“I want to be alone.” Y/n cried out, drying her tears.

“Please. Talk to me.” Olivia said softly.

Y/n sat down on the bed, bringing her knees to her chest, and wrapping her arms, wanting to bury her face on them but looked up at Olivia. “I fucked up, Liv.”

Olivia tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

“They took Casey off the case because of me.” Y/n sobbed. “I went to Donnelly. Casey was going to keep the file, she was not going to let the defense have it. And I couldn’t let her do that.” She shook her head as she cried. “I couldn’t let her lose her job and her license. I know Donna and Petrovsky. She’s suspended for a month.”

Olivia sighed. “And she’s mad at you.”

“She said she loved the job more than she loved m-me.” Y/n sobbed as she let her head fall to her knees.

Olivia moved to sit beside y/n and wrapped her arms around y/n. “Y/n, sweetheart, you know that’s not true. I know she didn’t mean that.”

“After all these years…I never expected Casey to get mad at me. We both said we would do anything for each other, and now she’s mad at me for this. I only tried to protect her. I knew that her losing the job would hurt too much. I couldn’t bear the thought of her blaming herself for this.” Y/n huffed a chuckle. “And we lost the case. It was my fault.”

“There was no other way of doing this, y/n. And Casey knows it. She was blinded because she didn’t know what to do.” Olivia shrugged. “She also prevented us from doing something stupid. Because she knew we would try anything.”

“She thought I was jealous of Lake. And…she wasn’t entirely wrong. But I didn’t do any of this for him. I did this for her.” Y/n whispered softly as she looked at Olivia. “I’m gonna lose her, Liv.”

Olivia shook her head. “She knows this, y/n. She’s angry. She couldn’t do more, and we both know that’s hard for her. She would’ve done this and so much more for you, and we all know it.”

“I don’t think I’d have let her do this for me.”

Olivia smiled as she tilted her head. “We both know nothing would’ve stopped Casey.”

Y/n chuckled as she nodded. “Yeah.” She sniffled. “But now, I don’t think she wants to see me.”

“It’ll pass. Give it time.” Olivia smiled.

Elliot opened the door and stopped on his tracks for a moment, gaining the attention of both women. “Sorry, but uh…something happened.”

Y/n looked at Olivia for a moment and sighed heavily as they both stood up, following Elliot. Y/n wiped away her tears and tried to push back the pain she felt, she had shown weakness to Olivia, but she couldn’t show it to the others. Elliot didn’t say a word during the whole ride, but y/n knew something bad had happened with the way he was desperate to get to the place. And once there, she noticed the place full of cops and ambulances, feeling her heart sinking as they exited the car and walked to the scene, finding Crane’s body on the floor. She looked to her side and found cops cuffing Lake, he was avoiding their stares, a mix of anger and pride in his face. Y/n then looked to her other side to find Casey standing beside Fin, her heart sinking once again at the look on her face. They all watched how Lake was taken to the police car and that’s when he stared at them. Y/n understood why he did it, but she still wished he would’ve gone to them for help. They all stood there for a moment, not sure what they were supposed to do or if they were supposed to do anything at all. Y/n’s eyes landed on Casey again, noticing how Elliot was now dragging Casey out of the scene and telling her something, and for a slight moment, their eyes met, and y/n wanted nothing more than to run to her and hold her, but she knew she couldn’t. She turned back to look at Olivia, both staring at each other for moment and then staring back at the scene.

********************

Y/n sighed as she closed the door behind her and dropped her keys on the small table beside the door, turning to lock the door and rested her head against it for a moment. She took a deep breath and made her way to her bedroom, debating if she was going to take a shower or she was just going to drop in bed and try to sleep. But as she looked up at the bedroom, she noticed the lights were on, frowning slightly as she walked inside, just to feel like she had deja vu as she saw Casey sitting at the edge of their bed. For a moment her eyes inspected the room, her heart beating fast as her eyes tried to find a suitcase and bags, but the room looked the same as she left it in the morning. Her eyes then went back to Casey’s who was already looking at her, she could see that her eyes were red and puffy just like the last time they had been in the same situation.

“Hi.” Casey whispered softly.

“Hey.” Y/n whispered back, not sure if she was supposed to walk to the bed or just stand where she was. “I uh…I didn’t expect you to be here.”

Casey nodded. “I know.” She nibbled on her lip as she looked down at her hands. “But I needed to talk to you.”

Y/n nodded softly. “Should I start or…”

“I’m sorry.” Casey sobbed, looking up at y/n, her eyes teary once again. “I…I didn’t mean to go off on you like that. I know why you did this, I know that you were only trying to protect me. And I was so mean to you.” She shook her head. “I shouldn’t have said a thing.”

“Casey…”

“I don’t know what I was thinking. I know what I was doing was wrong and I was still willing to do it. I had stressful cases, and I just didn’t want another bastard to walk free. But none of this was your fault and I took it out on you, when you just…you were trying to help, and I-“ Casey shook her head.

“I went behind your back, Casey.” Y/n said softly, feeling her own tears form in her eyes. “I should’ve stayed so we could’ve talked about it, and I could’ve helped you. But I was so blinded by anger, I didn’t know what else to do, and my best option was to go to Donnelly.” She shook her head as she took a shaky breath. “We could’ve gone together. I could’ve talked you through it, but I left.”

“You did what you thought was right. You saved me from getting censured and probably losing my license.”

“And I got you suspended for a month without pay. Donnelly must have gone off on you, and I just left you go through it alone.” Y/n sobbed as she looked down at her hands. “And I understand if you want this to end.”

Casey frowned. “What?”

“You said it. You…you love the job more than me. I went behind your back, I could’ve given you the same ending for going to Donnelly and I-“ she sobbed. “Casey, I’m sorry.” She brought her hands to her face as she sobbed.

Casey stood up and went to y/n, wrapping her arms around y/n, pulling her to the bed so they could sit down. Y/n wrapped her arms around Casey’s middle and buried her face on her neck, while Casey placed one of her hands on y/n’s head and kissed her head softly. “Baby, I am not leaving you. What I said…I didn’t mean it. I didn’t think about it. I was angry, I was stressed. And that’s not an excuse, but I truly didn’t mean it.”

“How could you not? I tried to help you and I could’ve done things worse anyway.” Y/n cried out.

Casey moved back enough to look down at y/n, placing her hand on y/n’s cheek to make her look up at her. “Y/n…the talk I had with Elizabeth would’ve been ten time worse if you wouldn’t have gone to her. Yes, she was upset at me…but I’m only suspended for a month. I could’ve been censured. And I didn’t because you stopped me from doing a big mistake.”

Y/n took a deep shaky breath as she looked at Casey. “You mean it?”

“I do, my love. I shouldn’t have said that. Any of that. You were willing to help me and do everything to be here for me, and I pushed you away.” Casey smiled sadly. “I would’ve made a big mistake. But my biggest mistake was to push you away. I cannot lose you, y/n.” More tears rolled down her cheeks as she rested her forehead against y/n’s.

“I cannot lose you either, Casey. I can’t.” Y/n’s hand went to Casey’s cheek and smiled sadly. “We both let our anger take the best of us.” She huffed a chuckle.

“We did.” Casey grinned. “Let’s not let this happen again.”

Y/n nodded. “Ever.”

“Plus, we’re not allowed to breakup, remember?” Casey smirked. “You’re pretty much stuck with me. And now you’re stuck with me for a whole month.”

Y/n grinned as she chuckled. “I’ll ask for a month off so I deal with you.” She smirked. “If we’re mad…we take our time, but we don’t go to sleep mad. We talk about it.”

Casey nodded as she smiled. “Sounds like a deal to me. And you know I don’t normally take deals.”

“I’m the exception.” Y/n smiled.

“You are.” Casey smiled as she leaned down and kissed her lips softly, finally feeling some sort of relief as she had her lover back in her arms.

#casey novak x reader #casey novak #svu fic #law and order svu #svu

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