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#she literally can exist in multiple universes at the same time while thanos
storiesofwildfire · 5 years
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So, I’m running on a couple hours of sleep and I can’t figure out why I’m unable to go back to sleep, but I guess I’m just awake for the time being...
Anyways, I saw Endgame again for the second time last night, and I gotta admit, I disliked it just as much the second time as I did the first time.
Now, I’m not saying the entire movie was garbage. There were definitely some highlights, some fun moments, and some great character development (shoutout to my girl, Nebula, whom I love with all my heart), but honestly? The film left me overall extremely disappointed. Considering I went in with no expectations and still left disappointed, that’s saying something.
Consider this a warning because Endgame spoilers under the cut:
There are so many things about the movie that were rushed, poorly executed, sloppy, or just overall confusing (looking at you, bullshit explanation of time travel). And as much as I’d like to go through the movie and dissect everything scene-by-scene, I just don’t have the energy for that.
What I wanna do instead is talk about Loki’s very minimal role in it, because I am extremely upset and disappointed in Loki’s story arc or lack thereof. 
Why?
Because the few scenes Loki was in were a few one-off jokes to get the audience’s attention and nothing more. We see him in his cell on Asgard in 2013 when Thor and Rocket go back for the Aether. The pair literally sneak by his cell, but they do nothing with the scene. Loki doesn’t notice them (as he really fucking should, because Loki is one of the most observant characters in Asgard) and Thor doesn’t hesitate for even a moment to look back at his now-dead brother.
Throughout the entire movie, Thor says nothing about Loki’s death, nothing about missing Loki even though Loki’s death (and Heimdall’s death) was a huge catalyst for the depression that he fell into. He watched Thanos murder his brother after Loki tried to stop him, after losing Heimdall and half of the Asgardians, after sacrificing the Tesseract and himself so Thor could live. Loki’s death shakes him (as it usually does, but this time, it’s supposedly authentically real). And yet, throughout the entire movie, he never once mentions Loki, doesn’t even pay attention to Loki when he gets to see his brother alive, and hyper-focused on his mother instead. Yes, I get that her death stung, but her death is also over a decade old. He’s processed it, been through a lot more since then, and while I understand him having issues with visiting the day she died, there is so much more for Thor to think about, to worry about, to mourn.
And Loki should have been at the top of that list. They were finally reconciling, finally getting back to a decent place as brothers and friends... 
Then we have the scenes from the first Avengers film in 2012. Where Loki is literally just in the background, making jokes while in chains. He’s been defeated, he knows what’s going to happen next, and he’s just? Making jokes? Even though that was, quite literally, one of the worst times in Loki’s life physically, mentally, and emotionally. He would not have been turning his defeat and inevitable demise into one massive joke. He barely even got a line at all (half of his only line was as Captain America, so I mean... Because Cap definitely needed more screentime, am I right?) and while yes, his expressions and little tidbits in the background were funny, the entire film seemed to turn him into a giant joke.
Given what they did to Thor, I shouldn’t be surprised. Someone who values appearances and being well-received as much as Thor is thrown into such a horrible depression that he puts on a ton of weight, becomes nothing more than a drunk hermit, and doesn’t take care of himself because of the guilt, trauma, PTSD, and panic attacks that came along with the events of Infinity War and they turned him into a walking, talking fat joke who cried the whole time... mkay.
But anyway, back to the point I’m making. Which is how disappointed in Loki’s arc I am.
Yes, they do go out of their way to show off Tony losing the Tesseract, which skitters over to Loki’s feet, and he quickly picks it up and vanishes. I’ll give the film that, but earlier in the movie, they put so much emphasis on making sure the audience understood that changing the past doesn’t change the future with some sort of ridiculous “when you travel back in time, that becomes your future and you in the present becomes your past” logic. 
Later, we see the Ancient One discussing how taking an Infinity Stone out of its proper place in the timeline can create varying alternate timelines, but that seemed very specific to the removal of the Infinity Stones, but nothing else.
So, worst case scenario is that Loki taking the Tesseract and darting off actually meant nothing because changing the past doesn’t change the future (I am still having such a hard time wrapping my mind around that because it doesn’t make sense). Best case scenario is that it does matter because an alternate timeline was created, but if that’s the case, there’s a very distinct possibility that Loki only still exists in that alternate timeline. And if by some defiance of canon, Loki taking the Tesseract and running does allow him to show up again later in the same timeline, literally all of his character development since The Avengers would have been undone...
But what was really, honestly heartbreaking? Watching all of the portals open at the final battle and watching all of the vanished walk through them. We see all of our favorites and in the theater, I was holding my breath, waiting for Loki to come through one of them. 
And he never did.
It was a heartbreaking moment because in Infinity War, they killed him off so quickly in such a ridiculous way. I’m so sorry, but Loki canonly knows more about Thanos than 98% of the MCU characters. He would not attempt to kill Thanos with a concealed dagger while Thanos is wielding more than one Infinity Stone. It’s just? Not going to happen, honestly. Loki’s far too clever, far too sneaky, and far too knowledgable on Thanos to pull something that stupid.
Not to mention, more powerful. While MCU has never really developed Loki’s abilities to their fullest potential, Loki has so many tools and resources in magic, combat, and strategizing that what he did literally makes no sense. It was almost set up to look like a fake death, but they’re trying to sell it like it was real.
Please tell me how a God--someone who has survived multiple times in space without the ability to breathe, who has suffered fatal wounds and lived to tell the tale--dies from being choked out? That doesn’t even begin to feel or look authentic, and yet, the Russos will claim that it is.
Loki died at the hands of one of his greatest abusers. He deserved to come back, to walk through one of those portals and stand up against Thanos.
If they weren’t going to make him more important to the story by playing off his death as part of a bigger plan, they at least owed him that. Loki could have been such a valuable asset in the fight against Thanos because he literally knows so much about him, but that potential was pissed on. 
But no, he didn’t get that chance. Heimdall didn’t get it. Vision didn’t get it. Anyone who died pre-snap didn’t get it.
And that’s what gets me the most? Because with the Infinity Stones, you can do literally anything, especially while wielding all of them. If Thanos could destroy an entire universe and make a new one as he was planning to do in Endgame, there is no reason you couldn’t bring other people back. There was no reason that those who died pre-snap couldn’t have come back as well. The only people I can justify being gone for good, honestly, are those that were sacrificed for the Soul Stone, because you must exchange a soul for a soul. Loki and Heimdall and Vision were not such people, so they should have been given the same chances that everyone else were given.
But they didn’t get that chance and I am heartbroken by what I saw in that movie.
I didn’t expect Loki to be a huge part of Endgame, but I was hopeful that they would at least give him some validation and a chance to fight back. Instead, we may never see him again going forward because of the blatant disrespect to his character. Yes, I know they’re making a Loki show, and while I’m tentatively excited for it, that’s not the same as seeing Loki survive Endgame and continue forward in MCU.
Honestly? It’s really fucking depressing that a character so wildly loved by so many has been reduced to this. I’ve spent seven years of my life writing and developing this character on my own ever since I fell in love with him. Loki’s such a huge and important part of my life and that love for him is not reflected in MCU.
And I’m really angry and bitter about that.
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signalsfromvega · 5 years
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Endgame hot take. (contains spoilers)
Haven’t done one of these in a while because, well...life. But this is the end of an era, so it seems like a good time.
Spoiler free: 10/10. Actual emotional roller coaster. Fantastic.
Spoiler review and take on what I’ve seen via this shit stack of a social media site below. You’ve been warned.
Yeah so I spoiled it for myself when it was released in OZ/NZ, almost immediately. Because I do that...yep.
Honestly, I get that these are some of people’s favorite characters and what not, but some of the dumb ass shit I’ve seen on this hellscape is really naive. 
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The endings we got for the first 3 main Avengers was perfect. Widow made sense. If you didn’t see that coming when they said those two were going to Vormir well...I can’t help you there. Clint has a family. Natasha has nothing but the family she made via the Avengers. Saving them became her purpose. She fulfilled it.
(Plus ScarJo previously stated she wanted a say so in her ending and for it to be unpredictable but suiting.)
Tony was one of the lucky ones. Parker getting dusted was a hard hit for him, yes, but Pepper survived. He got 5 years of happiness that no one else was allotted. He had the knowledge that his little girl and love of his life would go on just fine. He had succeeded in his life in all avenues.
Let’s step into the real world for a sec:  Did you really think RDJ was going to continue to type cast him self? He started this freight train my dudes. All of the OG cast wanted to move on. I think if they kept him alive they’d just keep calling him for Stark appearances. (Same with Widow and even Cap)
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Tony needed a resolution, and he got the most heroic and selfless one yet. He had been one of the most selfish Avengers. (Tony fans don’t @ me.)
Now on to the most selfless Avenger.
LOL@ y’all for picking apart not only Cap but Bucky AND Peggy to boot. 
Hard pills to swallow: Stucky is fan fic. 
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I can’t believe people don’t see that after all these years, Steve, who has been living his life for literally everyone else BUT himself, finally decides to be selfish just this once. After the deed is done, the safest time to finally indulge. He finally has a chance to get his dance. 
Couldn’t have asked for a better ending for him. 
To those who don’t know anything about the multi universe and time travel levels/paradoxes that can and have been created in comics: it is kinda like BTTF. (Scott was right.)
Specifically BTTF 3, when Doc goes back to the 1880′s and stays there, because he’s the happiest there. Meets the love of his life there. Marty has to come to terms with that and understand that it is Doc’s life and decision to do so.
You also had to be paying attention to the Ancient One and Banner’s conversation. They literally mentioned alternative timelines if the stones were taken into different eras. 
Basically, Steve created an alternative timeline (IE: a tangent) when he went back to have a life with Peggy. Either he contacted Pym or Stark in that alternative timeline and was able to create another Quantum Leap to come back to the present timeline, or the two timelines joined back up to ‘heal’ themselves with old Cap on a bench.
Bucky immediately knew when Steve said goodbye to him. He also immediately knew who it was on that bench. Hell, you could assume they had a convo prior, where Steve told Bucky his entire plan. Buck knew Steve had longed for a simple life with the woman who helped shape him into the man he was today. The life he lost; the one he sacrificed for the greater good.
So you’re trying to tell me that Steve isn’t an infallible human that just wants happiness?
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He was injected with super soldier serum, not turned into a robotic plaything for SHIELD. Let the man have his life. 
As for Peggy’s alternate life via her series: That wasn’t the life she chose, it was life given to her. It was the life she had to make in place of the life she wanted with Steve. It was a scorned and unfortunate timeline, brought about by everyone else except them. She had to move on because there was literally no hope or accurate technology back then to actually find Steve. She had no other choice, and it wasn’t the choice she wanted to make. It was a “play the cards you’re dealt” situation.
So you’re telling me that if you had access to time travel, with little to no repercussions, after you fulfilled a life of selflessness, that you wouldn’t go for it?
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It seems there are now multiple tangents, specifically Loki, created by the removal of the stones in different timelines. It syncs up to the ludicrous amount of tangents in comics anyway. Theoretically it seemed that Cap bringing them all back healed the time wounds. Except he might have made a deal with Howard and the time stone (creating his tangent) to keep him in that timeline until a specific set date. That date being the day Cap goes back in time.
This does not mean that the current history has been erased, it means the tangent is running along side the timeline we know. So those timelines still exist. Cap lived the life with his love in the tangent, Peggy more than likely passed before Cap, since he seems to age slightly slower. But it was a loving parting. Not like the one from Winter Soldier or Civil War; they got to say goodbye naturally and be at peace with it. All old Cap had to do was wait for the day of his time travel, and the two timelines became one again.
Everything in young Cap’s past was his. Everything in old Cap’s past was his as well. 
Cap is a man between two times, like he always was. 
Everything else? Awesome.
Though I do want to know what Cap did with Mjölnir in the 40′s? That’s one of plot holes I have questions about. EDIT: Duh, he had to put it back when he took the Reality stone back, since Thor took it out of that timeline.
Captain Marvel? I thought her amount of screen time was fine. Her fans are always going to want more, naturally. But I’m assuming since her movie came out a month prior, she is now the future of the studios with Parker and this movie was mainly about tying up the OG cast’s loose ends...they’re saving her for future films. They played her light and safe in this one. And she is really OP, so seeing her over taken by the Power Stone was a good counter balance. Technically, they were still semi-screwed without her. She took town the flagship quicker than anyone else could have.
I absolutely adored the way she took Thano’s head butt without a god damned flinch. 
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Honorable mentions:
The Dude Thor is life.
Scott Lang is a national treasure.
Hulk dab.
America’s ass.
Lang and Banner taco friendship goals
Ronin.
Holy shit the de-aging and thinning CGI.
The one guys in our theater that yelled “THAT’S IT, WE’RE DONE.” when Cap got the hammer.
Fortnite.
No but I want more Thor Lebowski.
That’s all I have to say on this one. 
All in all it was a fantastic ride, that didn’t take it’s self too seriously. It rounded out the movies and cast poetically and in line with their stories. 
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616marvel · 5 years
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Comic Fun Fact time(again)! So in today’s comic fun fact time, we’ll explore Secret Wars arc // mostly exploring the other Battleworlds // Warzones in terms of Nat, Bucky, and Steve  By far my favorite arc, but also one of the confusing arcs that I had to struggle through because there were so many storylines on this thing - so undercut is a brief summary of this series/issue while I’ll keep the fun facts up top. // ps only giving fun facts of battleworlds//warzones that i’ve read.
Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow Fun Facts during Secret Wars arc So Nat is basically dead af in 616 (main earth) because it was destroyed, but she’s alive in other universes:
1602 Timeline: Tldr this was old time English and Natasha is a widow and she’s known as the deadliest woman alive. I shit you not, there was this one part in that storyline where she yeeted Matt off of a bridge?? Mind you Matt Murdock is blind and is a bard in this storyline and I straight up died
A different 1602 Timeline: In this one, Natasha was Doom’s lover but she was doing shady black widow business and trying to manipulate Victor Von Doom but he’s like ‘lmao no’ and then yeeted Nat off of a flying pirate ship (listen lmao dont -)
1872 Timeline: One of the most interesting timeline in this whole thing imo. This was western time and Nat is a literal Widow because Bucky died aka her husband in this storyline. 
Nat is considered as one of the deadliest woman In most of the timeline, she is deemed as one of the deadliest woman to exist.
Nat was a man in dimension 63 - following my previous statement when I said ‘most’ - i said most because in one dimension, she’s a man. Everyone in that world is their opposite gender. She also has the deepest V-neck suit in that timeline it’s great 
Secret War 2099 - I don’t even know if this should be considered as Nat since it’s a whole different woman, but she’s Black Widow and her name is Talia. She’s a person of color and is very much as deadly as Nat 616 - this was a good read too.
Bucky Barnes / Winter Soldier Fun Facts during Secret Wars arc So Bucky is also basically dead af in 616 (main earth), and is mostly dead in all the other universes too
1602 Timeline: death by a spear because he hit on the wrong woman. Was part of the Buchanan clan and was a handsome knight
1872 Timeline: death by Fisk, was a deputy, married Nat but left her as an actual widow. They also didn’t meet in a church, insinuating that they met while she was on a mission or him on a lookout.
TBH he wasn’t in a lot of the timelines, like in Giant-Size Little Marvel, he was missing there but you get this beautiful gem of an art by the artist of Giant-Size Little Marvel d’aw (x)
Steve Rogers / Captain America Fun Facts during Secret Wars arc So Steve is also basically dead af in 616 (main earth) since it was destroyed, but is alive in other universes
1602 Timeline: This one was confusing because he’s apparently the 616 Steve Rogers but they were trying to get rid of him so they sent him and time and he ended up in 1602 and hanging out with the Native Americans. His name was Rohjaz in this storyline and when he was transported back to his timeline, he actually triggered 1602 timeline
1872 Timeline: He was a Sheriff and basically trying to bring Fisk down because he’s a corrupt mayor (just like most western storylines) and he ends up dying and being fed to the pigs (jk he was just thrown to the pigs when he died)
Secret War 2099: still unsure if I should even say that this was a counter part of Steve because the captain america here is a woman named Roberta Mendez and is later used as her whole different persona in earth 616 but don’t @ me right now - comics are confusing.
Giant-Size Little Marvel: They’re all kids here and Steve’s version of fun is working out and they (avengers) teased him about this lmao - he had a bootcamp - he also sold hotdogs, and hated Cyclop’s eye puns (he made a few)
BRIEF SYNOPSIS: undercut // srsly this is brief considering that I’m combining a few of the issues during this event.
Secret Wars: okay like this one was confusing because basically there's multiple universes in marvel comics yeah? Well an incursion happens where these said universe start clashing with one another and doing a rippling effect that clashes to other universes killing that universe. Basically Ultimate and 616 (main storyline marvel) had the same idea of basically fighting one another - need to note that 616 killed ONE universe at one point and the heroes felt guilty af because they're like shit fam we just killed a buncha people. So like they were gonna not do that anymore but then Namor was like "nah fam we ain't about to fucken die, I'm a bad Bitch" so they destroy more worlds (namor and his rag tag team that had thanos don't ask). This is getting long but basically the heroes were like wtf bro and then another incursion was happening and they were gonna let it happen - some heroes fought but for the most part people were saying bye to one another it was actually pretty fucking sad. Some people from 616 survived because Reed made a life ship thing to avoid the incursion but as they escape, Ultimate and 616 are destroyed and then OTHER POCKETS OF UNIVERSES ARE BORN lead by Doom and his minions of Thor (yeah idk).
This is where you get stories like Timely, Marvel Zombies, 1602, noir, the one where they're all kids (loves that one) and more! Anyway so while that's happening, doom is playing god and assigning barons to watch over these worlds etc. it eventually gets to the point where Reed and Doom duke it out and then Reed is like “I’d make a better world than you, this shit (world) trash bruh” and Doom’s like “you right but fuck you” and then Owen, powerful ass mutant, was like “oh damn aight, since y’all made up-” he changes time and basically stops the incursion from happening to 616 but like all the other shit still happened because Miles Morales remembers his convo with Owen (he gave him a cheeseburger and thats how he remembers, dont ask). So 616 was remade and doom was no longer ugly so he’s like ‘yeah okay i can dig it, i don’t need to play as god anyway’ then laughs while Reed and Susan use Owen as a battery source to remake universes that were lost.
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tyrantisterror · 6 years
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FUCK IT LET’S GET ASININE
TT’s SUBJECTIVE RANKING OF THE MARVEL MOVIE VILLAINS (AND A FEW SPECIAL MENTIONS FOR THE TV VILLAINS TOO)
I maintain that ranking characters is stupid but sometimes I dare to be stupid so let’s do this.  SPOILERS FOR EVERY MARVEL MOVIE YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED SEE YOU AFTER THE CUT FUCK I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT SUPERHEROES A LOT IN THE PAST TWO DAYS HUH
Ok, I guess I should give some criteria for this, so we’re going to be judging these guys both as villains and characters in general.  As characters, they need to be interesting and compelling - i.e. you want to follow their journey, you want to hear their story, because that’s a characters job.  If a character isn’t making a story compelling, they aren’t a great character.  As specifically antagonistic characters, they need to provide an interesting counterpoint and conflict for the heroes - there has to be a substantive reason for why they are opposing the main characters.  And as villains - and while villains are often antagonists, those two words AREN’T synonymous - they need to bring a level of menace to the table.  We don’t just want to see the heroes/protagonists win - we also don’t want the villains to succeed in their goal, because their goal is, y’know, bad.
If a villain is successful in all of these things, then there’s another criteria to consider: did they reach their potential?  There are some villains - actually A LOT of them - in the Marvel movies that are good on paper, but didn’t reach their fully potential, either because they lacked time or the writing just didn’t give them enough to do.  A number of the guys on this list would be higher if they hadn’t been, essentially, wasted by the screenwriters.
There are also some antagonists in the Marvel movies who I don’t really think qualify for the villain label - they were obstacles the heroes had to overcome, sure, but they weren’t meant to be full on SUPERVILLAINS.  There’s nothing wrong with that - hell, I honestly prefer stories to have multiple kinds of antagonists, because it makes the world more complex and interesting.  I’ll give these successful non-villains some honorable mentions.
Let’s dive in then!
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As it currently stands, Loki is the best Marvel villain.  I know, I know, a lot of you hate Loki because teenage girls think Tom Hiddelston is cute, but has ANY villain in the Marvel movies gotten even close to as much development as he has?  Loki was one of the strongest aspects of the first Thor movie, with a sinister cunning backed by motives we could understand but not condone.  This guy has reasons for being the bad guy he started as - hell, the main one, his dad, is also the father of the hero he arches for, Thor.  From the start there was complexity and intrigue built into him, and his devious mind presented a great problem for not only Thor but also the three other big names in the first Avengers lineup - because while Captain America, the Hulk, and Iron Man can all hit really hard, those powers aren’t really great at beating a scheme.
Loki also opened the door (literally) for a greater scale of threats and scope of story possibilities in the universe.  Then, once his big starring villain moment in The Avengers came and went, he proceeded to take a slow but well done turn from villain to hero - one fraught with missteps and backsliding.  He didn’t turn into a good guy easily.  Again, he was arguably the best part of Thor: the Dark Wold, a movie that’s kind of a low point in the series (and yet one that’s still far from bad, because that’s how Marvel do).  Admittedly, Loki wasn’t the high point of Thor: Ragnorok, though that’s only because Thor: Ragnorok was great in so many other ways, taking a series that was up till that point a more middling part of the greater Marvel Franchise and making it one of the best.  Notably, Ragnorok finally allowed Loki to complete his turn to hero, all while keeping his personality traits that we’ve grown to love.  No villain has been better served by the franchise, and likewise none has served it better.
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The first Guardians of the Galaxy had so much work to do - not only did it have to introduce us to and get us to love the five weirdest fucking superheroes of the franchise so far, but it also had to introduce the entire Space Opera side of Marvel’s universe to us - infinity stones, celestials, various planets with various sapient species with a great and varied history.  We had to learn about Groots and children of Thanos and the Kree and the Nova Corps and the Ravagers - we can forgive that movie for having a weak villain, especially given the fact that it had FIVE protagonists to develop meaningfully instead of one like every movie before it.
Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2, by contrast, has a lot less to do.  Its heroes are introduced, as are a lot of great supporting characters, so in that regard it just had to follow through on what it had already built.  That gave the writers significantly more time to work on the antagonist, and the result was Ego, the second best Marvel movie villain.  Though his relationship with Quill is first and foremost, Ego also has meaningful thematic ties to the other heroes as well - he’s an abusive father of unfathomable power, much like Gamora and Nebula’s adoptive father Thanos, he’s an inherently lonely being that longs for a familial connection that may well be lost to him, like Drax, Rocket, and Groot, he’s a deeply flawed parent figure to Peter much like Yondu, and, well, he’s personally isolated and abused Mantis.  Ego’s motives are understandable but reprehensible.  We feel his pathos - no one wants to be alone, and most people can understand the desire to reconnect with one’s offspring - but we also know he can’t be allowed to succeed.  The threat he brings is palpable, and his conflict changes all the heroes in a meaningful way.
Like most Marvel movie villains, Ego dies in his debut, but to the film’s credit, Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 makes every second of his screentime count.  We could have gotten more tales from Ego, but if this is his only one, then I feel we can say his potential was used well.
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Like Guardians of the Galaxy, Black Panther had a lot of stuff on its narrative plate.  While it had a slight headstart in introducing its titular hero thanks to Civil War, it still has to do a lot of work to make us understand who T’Challa is, while also introducing Okoye, M’Baku, Wakanda’s greatest export Shuri, Nakia, and oh yeah, the Afrofuturistic country of Wakanda.  It also had to justify the existence of fakeout villain Ulysses Klaue and unnecessary white man Martin Freeman for, I imagine, the comfort of the white executives taking a “gamble” on a big budget movie with a predominately non-white cast, because somehow that was even more ludicrous in Hollywood’s eyes than a movie starring a talking racoon and an Ent.
where was I?
Oh, right, my point is that there was significantly less narrative space for Killmonger than the two villains above him, and that’s the SOLE reason he’s at number three here.  Killmonger’s motives are just as complex as Loki’s, and he is as thematically relevant to the MANY heroes opposing him in this film as Ego is in Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2.  And he gets a lot of good development!
but... Killmonger dies at the end of Black Panther.  He dies when there is so, SO much more story we could have gotten out of him.  And while his story in the film is well told for the most part, some of it is abbreviated.  This dude needs, nay, DESERVES more time.  If they retcon his death and bring him back for a sequel, Killmonger may very well climb to the top of this list.
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Thanos is the only villain on this list who is arguably the protagonist of a Marvel film - really, Avengers Infinity War is his movie more than anyone else’s.  He does a lot of the same stuff as the three villains before him - his motives are understandable, the threat he poses is immense, he challenges the heroes, and at the same time has thematic connections to... well, some of them (look there’s significantly more heroes in Infinity War than there are in Thor, The Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, and Black Panther, so cut him a little slack).  But he’s a bit weaker at all those ways except for the “level” of threat he poses.  The only heroes he’s really intimately tied to are Gamora and Nebula - for everyone else, his threat is more general than personal.  Sure, he’s a lot more SUCCESSFUL at killing named characters than the previous three villains on this list, but if you think all of those deaths are gonna stick you’re a very gullible person.  Ultimately, Thanos’ character had to sacrifice narrative complexity for the sake of establishing a higher scale of threat, and the result if a character that’s a bit weaker than Marvel’s best - but still pretty damn good.  I mean, he was good enough to feel like a credible threat to a literal army of superheroes - that’s gotta count for something.
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Funnily enough, the Vulture is kind of on the opposite side of things from Thanos.  The threat he poses is significantly lower stakes than the villains that preceded and followed him - and, oddly enough, that’s in his favor.  He felt new as a result.  This wasn’t a guy who was starting wars or committing genocides - he’s just an asshole who sells illegal and highly dangerous weapons.  His motives are understandable, too - dude wants to give his family a good life, and this just happened to be a solution to that problem (if not a moral one).  He’s much closer to the kind of “villain” an average person would be affected by in real life.
At the same time, well, he’s not a world shaking villain.  He does what he’s meant to do well, sure, but he wasn’t meant to be the next Loki - he’s a one shot filler villain for a movie that was really about introducing its hero to us.  There are a LOT of villains who were meant for that niche, and of those villains, Vulture is the cream of the crop.
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Though she was going to be higher, didn’t you?
My immense attraction to her aside, Hela is... kinda flat.  Her motivations are kinda weak - she’s a warhawk who wants to start wars and was kicked out of Asgard for starting wars too much and now is back to start some more wars because... because war is cool, I guess.  Cate Blanchett’s wonderfully campy performance elevates the material she’s been given a lot, don’t get me wrong, but objectively... Hela’s not very interesting.  In terms of her relation to the hero, she’s basically Loki except with no development or intrigue - yeah, she’s technically Thor’s sister, but we don’t feel a familial bond between them, so their conflcit doesn’t really get any intrigue out of that.  Hela isn’t really a character - she’s a conflict, as developed and emotionally complex as the tornadoes in Twister.
I hate to say it, because I love Thor: Ragnorok and just, like, the concept of a Goddess of Death played by Cate Blanchett, but Hela just isn’t very well developed.  She’s a lot of wasted potential - wasted potential made very... entertaining by Cate Blanchett’s... entertaining performance, but if it weren’t for the skills of the actress playing her and, uh, some aesthetic preferences on my part, she’d be even lower on the list.
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Hey, speaking of really good actors who played elf leaders Lord of the Rings, here’s Red Skull!  And, like Hela, he’s kind of wasted.  Movie Red Skull is basically the cartoonishly exaggerated caricature pop culture has made nazis into - “evil” in the Snidley Whiplash sense, but not evil in the have-you-actually-read-up-on-how-fucking-horrifying-the-holocaust-is sense.  And, look, I understand that bringing in the actual horrors of the holocaust in a movie about a guy who’s basically wearing the American flag as a costume could very easily become uncomfortably misguided, but the defanging of the nazis - I’m sorry, HYDRA, the “more evil” nazis who somehow don’t do any of the actually ridiculously evil shit nazis did - that Red Skull represents isn’t a great solution to that problem.
Movie Red Skull is less complex than Cobra Commander.  He is pure “I’m evil because... because!” villainy.  He’s less deep than Hela, and unlike Hela’s actress, Hugo Weaving was kind of phoning it in.  There’s some hammy fun in Red Skull, sure, but he could have had so much more impact than he did.
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Ronan the Accuser’s motives are a bit better defined than Red Skull’s.  His people have been in an on again, off again war with the rival civilization of Xandar, and yeah, that’s a tale as old as time - dude wants to destroy a country because they fought his country in the past and all that, happens all the time, fine and dandy.  But... while we can understand that because it’s basically the bulk of human history, we never really feel it, y’know?  Xandar and the Kree’s history is TOLD to us, not shown, and as a result we don’t really FEEL Ronan’s motivation.
So what does that leave us with?  Well, a very shouty and hammy performance by his actor done from under some thick makeup.  It’s fun and campy, but Ronan’s a filler starter villain - he’s weak so the heroes may have time to be strong.  It’s fine - he does his job - but he’s not what he could have been.
Although I will say, the moment where his brain just short circuits when Peter Quill stops their fight to challenge him to a dance off?  Hands down the most satisfying thing in the entire Marvel universe.
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Aww yeah, here’s an interesting guy!  Isn’t this not at all underwhelming after the colorful cast of characters above?  Look, it’s... a dude!  A white dude!  Swell!
Zemo is, like, the less-good prototype for Killmonger.  Dude got fucked over by American Imperialism and blames the superheroes for it, using a bunch of dastardly tricks and cunning schemes to create strife in their ranks!  He does it well enough, and he’s got a good amount of pathos, and the actor playing him does the job very well, but... c’mon, do you really want to see more of this guy?  Did you even remember his name?  He’s just complex enough to get the job done, but just boring enough to let the movie focus on its REAL conflict, which is the titular super hero Civil War.  Like the Vulture before him, he’s just as good as he needs to be - but since he didn’t need to be as good as the villains higher up, he didn’t reach those heights.
Also it should be noted that comic book Zemo looks OUTRAGEOUS and interesting and fun so it’s kind of a shame that, like, exactly 0% of that was translated into film.  You could have called this character Greg Fucktruck or whatever instead and saved that character for a movie where, like, he could be interesting and cool, instead of a one off filler villain.
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Robert Redford begins as a good guy in Captain America: The Winter Soldier and initially feels like a reasonable authority figure, only to be revealed as a secret bad guy in a surprising plot twist!  It’s effective, but as villains go. he’s just, like, a guy.  He’s a guy in a suit.  Not a supervillain suit, just a... a normal suit.  He wields a lot of power and has an evil plan and is played charismatically by a very good actor, but like Zemo, he’s not exactly memorable.  I mean, fuck, I just listed him as Robert Redford because I couldn’t remember his character name and didn’t want to look it up.
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Y’know how I said Zemo is the crappy prototype for Killmonger?  Yeah, well, Whiplash is the shitty prototype for Zemo.  Same motives but shittier, same personal connection to the hero but shittier, same critique of American Imperialism but much, much shittier.  At least he loved his bird, though.
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I couldn’t find a gif of his monster form, but the Abomination is... uh... he’s a guy... a mercenary?  And he turns into a monster.  That’s neat.  Turning into a monster is the sole reason he’s this high on the list.  And I couldn’t even find a gif of it.
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Ullyses Klaue was a boring, one dimensional filler villain who was given some fun quirks by his actor, Andy Serkis, but ultimately failed to not be boring and was thankfully killed off halfway through the movie so the actually interesting villain of the movie could take center stage in a surprise twist that made said interesting villain all the more memorable.  He died so a better plot may live, and a better character immediately filled his shoes.  Rest in peace, you boring ass red herring of a villain.
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“I’m selling the entire universe to a hell dimension because the hell dimension doesn’t have death because there is no time!  That’s a complex motive, right?  Right?”  No, c...caecilian?  Cesarian?  Caeser Millan?  No it’s not.  I mean, an attempt was made, I guess?  It’s technically a different motive than past villains?  I guess?  This guy is the “You Tried” sticker of Marvel’s movie villains.
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Ultron tried to be so, SO much more than most of the characters on this list.  In terms of authorial intent, he would rank higher - they were really, REALLY trying with him!  They really were!
But, for me, Ultron fails in everything he tries to be. That’s why he’s this low on my list - not because he’s not complex, not because he’s a boring concept, but because there was so much potential and effort here and it was all WASTED, and that is so much more frustrating than the boring villains that preceded him on this list!
Like... comic book Ultron is a giggling, manic lunatic of a villain, full of energy and intensity that is so unlike most of Marvel’s rogues gallery, especially those that made it to the films.  The default movie villain is “smug, disinterested bad guy who talks way too much and takes himself too seriously.”  Comic book Ultron ISN’T that.  Comic book Ultron is fun and passionate and coo-coo for coco puffs bonkers bananas!  And yet he’s also got a lot of pathos - he’s a new life form whose creator didn’t know how to nurture properly, who grew too fast for his unwitting parent to deal with.  There’s a tragedy to Ultron.
Also, he’s an awesome robot man with a scary as fuck unmoving robot mask that looks like some alien skull that is both screaming in fury and laughing in maniacal glee at the same time.  Like, visually, comic book Ultron is really good.
And... and an effort was made to capture some of that, but it failed.  They tried to capture Ultron’s loopy thought process, but in reality they just made his motivations and plan a fucking mess that’s impossible to parse.  They tried to give him a good design, but ditched the iconic and creepy screaming skull mask in favor of... weird robo lips, and then stuck those on a Michael Bay transformer body.  They took his manic personality and, well, chucked it out in favor of...
Well, a smug, disinterested bad guy who talks too much and takes himself too seriously.
Ultron should have been something we hadn’t seen before, or at least not recently - he should have been, well, Comic Book Ultron.  Instead, they forced him into the mold of MOST Marvel villains, and forced his design into the mold of the most profitable robot designs at the then-current time: the Michael Bay transformers.  The result was so disappointing.  It’s heart breaking.
You know what they should have imitated, but didn’t?  Darth Vader.  Darth Vader is perhaps the most well known movie villain of all time, and certainly the most lucrative.  You know what Darth Vader has?  An immovable mask that is iconic and terrifying and brought to life by a passionate, inspired vocal performance from the actor playing him.
Ultron is most effective at the very end of the movie, when he’s speaking through his drone, which DOES have that immovable, scream/laughter face of his comic counterpart.  It’s way more unsettling and interesting to watch, even if James Spader’s performance in that part still has that smug, bored disinterest to it.  I know this sounds like a minor point but really, it’s one of the many big missed opportunities of this character, and it’s a damn shame.
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Malekith is a shitty prototype for Ronan the Accuser, played by an actor of great talent who was given absolutely nothing to work with from the script and then had his performance hampered by thick makeup.  Malekith sucks.
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There are, like, fifty evil businessmen who want superhero technology to make money via evil in the Marvel movies.  They all have different names and different actors and they’re all boring and they suck.  They suck hard.  They’re all the exact same character, and the fact that some of them are played by really good actors sucks doubly hard because those good actors could have played, like, someone INTERESTING instead.  Fuckin’ Sam Rockwell?  You waste Sam Rockwell’s talents on this bland stereotype of a character?  You wasted the Fucking Dude on this?  Christ.
Honorable Mentions pt. 1: the Not-Really-Villains
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Jeff Goldblum’s performance as the Grandmaster is a gift that humanity must treasure till the end of its days and beyond.  He is so delightfully weird and charming in every scene he’s in and I would watch a thousand movies with this character in him.  So why isn’t he on the villains list?  Well, because he’s... not really a villain.  He’s an antagonist, sure, and on paper he sounds pretty villainous - tyrannical ruler of a planet who forces people into gladiator games and all that.
But in execution he’s more of... a goof.  He’s basically Michael Scott from The Office - a weird fucking idiot who was given way too much power and weilds it irresponsibly.  He causes problems that can ruin peoples’s lives, sure, but, like, he’s entirely unaware of what he’s doing.  He’s not consciously evil - he’s just a silly bastard who doesn’t understand the consequences of his actions.  He’d be harmless if you took him out of that power structure.
When we first meet him, he metls a guy with a stick.  Most movies would play that for horror.  In Thor: Ragnorok, it’s a comedy beat.  Audiences lose their shit laughing at the dark comedy of that moment.  The Grandmaster COULD have been played as a villain, but instead he was played as a buffoonish antagonist - and he’s BETTER for that.  He’s more memorable for that.
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Bucky is a great antagonist in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, but he’s not a villain.  He’s a victim - you can’t hold brainwashed, mind-controlled man accountable for his actions, as everything he’s done was carried out specifically because his own will was overridden.  Bucky’s a damn good character, and if this was a ranking of ANTAGONISTS he’d be up in the top five, but you can’t call the dude a villain.
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There are a lot of henchmen in the movies that were full on villains in the comics, like Skurge and Crossbones and so on.  But, look - in the films, these guys are just henchmen.  Some of them are very fun, very interesting henchmen - I chose Skurge to represent them for a reason - but they aren’t VILLAINS.  They aren’t the focus.  They’re a side dish, not the main course.
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Holy shit I posted this only to remember Dormammu’s been in a movie ten minutes later while getting cereal.  Movie Dormammu isn’t a villain or a henchman - he’s a cameo, much as Thanos was until very recently.  He fills the same narrative role as a McGuffin - he’s the big bad weapon we have to stop the villain from using.  He’ll probably get to be a character in later movies, but for now he’s little more than a prop.  Fuck, I couldn’t even find a gif of his movie self - had to use his comic counterpart instead.
Honorable Mentions Pt. 2: Sirs And Madamns Not-Appearing-In-These-Films
So the Marvel movies technically share the same universe as various T.V. shows, though at this point the likelihood of that ever being played for more than a few winking nods and veiled references is PRETTY LOW.  Most of these series are designed to be binge watched on Netflix - i.e. consumed all at once, from the comfort of a couch, so the audience can enjoy a longer form story than an individual movie without having to wait several months between installments.  That’s a very different writing task than writing a MOVIE villain - structurally, it’s significantly different, with a whole lot of different problems and possibilities.  Judging the villains of the shows by the same criteria as we judge the villains of the movies isn’t fair - the villains of the shows have a LOT more time on their hands to prove who they are, and without long gaps.  Loki, the villain with the most screentime in the movies, still had less time for his arc than, say, Kilgrave, and Loki’s arc was staggered in two and a half hour chunks with years in between them, while Kilgrave’s story could be consumed all at one upon release.  That’s not a fair fight.
That said, I want to talk about some of the TV villains:
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Kilgrave is the single most complex, terrifying, and overall effective villain the Marvel Cinematic Universe has produce, at least from all the content I’ve seen.  None of the other villains (that I’ve seen) are explored as thoroughly, none of them are as personally tied to every facet of the hero they oppose, and none of them - not even world ending Thanos - are as starkly fucking terrifying the depths of their depravity and the strength they have to achieve it.  Kilgrave is brilliantly written, and David Tenant outdoes himself in bringing him to monstrous life.  He is the best villain the MCU has produced.
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You know how a lot of the movies have somewhat bland villains by necessity, because giving them too much narrative weight would keep them from properly introducing the hero?  Cottonmouth would have that problem had Luke Cage been introduced in a movie instead of a show.  As it is, Cottonmouth still feels like a “starter” villain - he’s a normal sort of criminal, not a Supervillain - but at the same time, he’s a damn complex and interesting starter villain.  He’s miles ahead of most of the movie villains, but it’s purely because he’s got a lot more time to develop.
Diamondback, by contrast, has a really interesting concept, but is kind of bland in execution.  The show builds him up very well, but slowly drops the ball once he finally shows up in the final half of the season.  Maybe a second season can make good on his concept, but as it is he was kind of mishandled.
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I watched about three episodes of Dardevil.  It was very good, but there was a scene where Daredevil tortured a criminal to get information out of him to stop crimes, and that is a dealbreaker for me.  I don’t care if they “explored the ramifications” of it - as far as I’m concerned, when a character tortures someone for information, they are no longer sympathetic and I cannot call them a hero.  I will not watch the rest of that show.
I’ve heard Wilson Fisk is VERY well handled and interesting from enough people to feel that’s almost certainly true.  Shame I can’t see it.
Outside of Jessica Jones and Luke Cage, I also watched two seasons of Agents of SHIELD  as well as The Defenders.  I can’t remember any of the villains from either.  I mean, there definitely were some, but I can’t remember a single one.  Unless we count Danny Rand - I certainly felt personally victimized every time he opened his shitty mouth to say some shitty dialogue and take some screentime from Jessica Jones and Luke Cage in The Defenders. Or the writers of Agents of SHIELD for killing Lucy Lawless off in the same episode they introduced her into the show, thus denying us an awesome character played by Lucy fucking Lawless.  But other than that, I don’t know the TV villains that well.
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thearabkhaleesi · 7 years
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GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2. - EASTER EGGS, TRIVIA, AND THINGS YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED
DISCLAIMER: I haven’t found any of these easter eggs on my own, I did a bit of research and gathered the many easter eggs I found from multiple sites. I know there are definitely more easter eggs that I didn’t include because I either didn’t spot/know about them or didn’t think they were important enough. If you noticed that I missed an easter egg that you would like me to include, please feel free to tell me and I’d gladly add it! I also apologize that this list isn’t as long as my other easter egg posts, it’s just been a hectic few days and I haven’t had much time to do more research. Also please let me know if i made any mistakes.
QUICK FACTS
Matthew McConaughey passed on the role of Ego to star in The Dark Tower.
The first poster for the movie is based on the cover art for The Ramones’s album Rocket to Russia.
The phrase "I am Groot" appears eight times in the end credits, before changing to an actual name and title of someone involved with the film. This symbolizes the eight main heroes of the film: Star Lord, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, Groot, Nebula, Mantis, and Yondu. As the very last credit rolls, David Hasselhoff says "We are ALL Groot."
You could fit about 1,600 baby Groots on a normal movie screen and about 17,000 on a normal IMAX screen.
Groot says "I am Groot" 17 times throughout the entire film.
When shipping out promotional material, such as posters and banners, for Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017), it was given the code name "Level Up" to discourage theft.
The ironic thing about Gamora not enjoying dancing is actress Zoe Saldana actually has a deep background in dancing, with Ballet being her first passion.
The movie is Kurt Russell’s first superhero and Disney movie since Sky High.
HOWARD THE DUCK
Marvel’s Howard the Duck (voiced by Seth Green) makes his second appearance in the MCU in GOTG 2, partying it up with the Ravagers on Contraxia. We last saw him as part of The Collector’s collection in Guardians of the Galaxy 1.
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COSMO THE SPACEDOG
We first see Cosmo the spaced as a dog wearing a spacesuit shown in the previous Guardians film as a part of the Collector’s collection, and we see a portrait of him during the end credits of Guardians 2.
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CELEBRITY CAMEOS
David Hasselhoff (obvious if you’ve seen the movie) but he also sings on a song in the film’s soundtrack called “Guardians Inferno”.
Miley Cyrus is Mainframe, an artificial intelligence created by Tony Stark, and tasked with guarding and administrating an entire planet in the 31st Century. We see her along with the original Ravagers during one of the post credits scenes.
Sylvester Stallone as Starhawk, a member of the original Ravagers and Guardians (continue reading for more details).
THE RAVAGERS/ORIGINAL GUARDIANS
In one of the post-credits scenes we see Sylvester Stallone’s character Stakar assembling the original Ravagers. In the comics, Stakar is a Marvel anti-hero known as Starhawk and a member of the original Guardians of the Galaxy from the comics, who are from an alternate future in the 31st century. The other members are Martinex (Michael Rosenbaum), Charlie-27 (Ving Rhames), Mainframe (voiced by Miley Cyrus), Krugarr (a CG character), and Aleta (Michelle Yeoh). Yondu was also a member of the original Guardians.
ETERNITY
When Peter Quill is being manipulated under Ego’s spell, he whispers that he can see “eternity”. Besides its literal meaning, Eternity is a character from the Marvel comics who shows up whenever the Infinity Stones are collected.
The concept of all time and reality within the universe is embodied by Eternity, one of a number of beings existing before and beyond all creation.
This shows the greatness and strength of Peter’s cosmic powers as he might have had a glimpse of reality (the figure of Eternity) rather tan just being under Ego’s spell. While some might think this is a throwaway word, in the first Guardians movie we see a temple mural depicting the characters Eternity, Infinity, Entropy, and Death surrounding the six Infinity Stones….
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ADAM
During one of the Marvel’s post credits scenes, we see Ayesha with a golden cocoon containing an artificial being she created and with whom she plans to destroy the Guardians, and calls it “Adam”. In the comics, Adam Warlock is a genetically engineered perfect human being with an Infinity Gem in his forehead; Adam was the key to defeating Thanos in the Infinity Gauntlet comic and has strong ties to both the Guardians and the Avengers. But James Gunn confirmed that in the MCU, Adam will not be in Infinity War but he will be a big character in the future alongside the returning Ayesha, so we’ll definitely see them as a super villain duo in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3. There was also a golden cocoon in the Collector’s collection in the first Guardians movie, and while people suspected at the time that it contained Adam, it didn’t and the first official Adam teaser/easter egg is in this movie.
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STAN LEE AND THE WATCHERS
One of the Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2’s post credits sense confirms a major MARVEL fan theory! One of the post credits scenes of the movie shows Stan Lee talking to a group of aliens (known as The Watchers) about all the things he has witnessed on Earth and his time as a FedEx man (his cameo in Captain America: Civil War). Therefore, this credits scene basically confirms that Stan Lee plays the same character in every Marvel movie he’s been in, and that he is sent or tasked by the Watchers to observe the events happening on Earth. Stan Lee is even credited in the movie as “Watchers Informant”. In the comics, The Watchers are an ever-present part of the comic universe spread across the galaxy, observing lifeforms and preserving their knowledge. It’s very possible that we will see them again in the MCU so keep an eye out!
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PETER’S SHIRT
For a while in the film, we see Peter wear a shirt with some sort of Asian-language inspired script. The letters on the shirt match those used in the first film’s Kyln Prison, and a Reddit user quickly deciphered the space brand as “GEARS SHIFT.” The other words on the attached molecules on the shirt read “dust, cement, stone, and ash” with the bottom subtitle reading “A TenEyck Galaxy Invention” - Karen Teneyck is a graphic designer in the Art Department Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2. (and Captain America: The First Avenger).
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THOR 3 GLADIATOR PLANET
When Rocket, Groot, Yondu, and Kraglin decide to go to Ego’s planet, they mention that they had to several “jumps” through different pockets of the universe; during one of these jumps we see them interrupt a gladiator match, which is reminiscent of the scene of Thor having to fight The Hulk during the Thor: Ragnarok trailer.
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THE GRANDMASTER
We see Jeff Goldblum’s character from Thor: Ragnarok, The Grandmaster, dancing along with the other character’s during the film’s end credits.
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NEBULA IN INFINITY WAR
At the end of the movie, Nebula leaves the Guardians on a mission to kill Thanos. We already know for sure that in Infinity War we will see Thanos try to attack Earth (the Avengers), and Nebula’s role in the movie might be of utmost importance as it is most likely that she will be the one to call on the Guardians of the Galaxy to join the Avengers’ fight against Thanos. After all, she was the one who is responsible for Thanos’ undoing in the comics.
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GROOT IN INFINITY WAR
Even though we got the adorable Baby Groot in the movie, one of the post credits scenes shows Groot as a teenager, which implies that he will be a full grown adult in Infinity War (just as he was in the first Guardians movie).
Fun fact: James Gunn has confirmed that Baby Groot has no memories of his past life as Groot (he doesn’t have any memories of Guardians 1) :(
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JAMES GUNN’S PARENTS
During one of the flashbacks of Ego on Earth with Peter’s mom, we see a confused older couple.. James Gunn’s parents!
EGO THE LIVING PLANET
In the comics, Ego is a living planet. As Rocket, Baby Groot, and Yondu descend onto another side of Ego’s planet, we see that Ego’s face is actually on his planet, making it a living entity, just like in the comics.
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TASERFACE’S ORIGINS
In the comics, Taserface is a warrior from the cybernetically enhanced race known as The Stark. The Stark are a race that found Iron Man technology that accidentally crashed on their homeworld and as a result, worship Tony Stark (a.k.a Iron Man) as their god.
YONDU’S LAST ARROW
As the Guardians mourn Yondu death, his cosmic ashes spread out in a stream of rainbow-colored particles in the air. As the fireworks and music occur, the particles condense into an intense pink/red hue in the shape of an arrow.
GROOT AND ROCKET DISCLAIMER
Just as with the first Guardians movie, at the end of the film’s credits, we see a disclaimer saying: “No raccoons or tree creatures were harmed during the making of this feature. The same cannot be said for handlers of said raccoons and tree creatures.”
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