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catt-nuevenor · 2 years

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Hi!! I don't want to intrude but how did you realise you were autistic?

Do you mean how did the assessment itself figure out I was autistic? Or how did I first figure out it was worth getting assessed?

The answers to both questions are complex and rather detailed. I'll give a brief explanation of the first question/answer to begin with, then perhaps go into a little of the latter at the end of the post.

First thing to understand if you're not a UK resident is this; the NHS (National Health Service) is a wonderful life-saving service that provides free healthcare to everyone in the country, but it is extremely underfunded in many departments. Where I live, in Norfolk, the local branch of the NHS's mental health department is judged to be one of the worst in the country (see this news article by the BBC). So, unfortunately, it took five and a half years to get assessed after being put on the waiting list.

That aside, once I was finally seen (covid times so that's a webcam version of 'seen'), the assessment was split into three component parts, two of which were interviews with two different psychologists, the third was a paper questionnaire.

The first interview took place over two hours and began with discussing my history, experiences at school, and additional mental health/learning difficulties. I have ADD (ADHD Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, though I lack the physical hyperactive quality) so that was discussed and my experience in getting that diagnosis was gone through. That is a whole other kettle of fish, and would turn this post into a full blow essay, so let's just say that I have a turbulent history in that department, and a lot of maternally perpetrated trauma and leave it at that.

Next we went through what I can only describe as physical story telling. I was told to prepare props; a pencil, a paper clip, an elastic band, and a pen, and then told to act out a story with these objects. I realise the impression one might get from my presence online would indicate that such a task would be easy for me, but I really struggled with this.

I kept repeating over and over again, "It's a pen, it's not a person, it's a pen." The poor psychologist eventually took pity on me and allowed me to explain a folklore concept to her instead of a story, but it was still really difficult.

The final part of that initial interview was describing emotions. Now, I can actually type out exactly what I did say at this point because the psychologist wrote it down and later copied it into the assessment report:

Catherine has never been comfortable speaking about her emotions and described her emotional experiences in a slightly unusual way. She described how the emotion of anger feels "I tend to get a spike... it feels like white noise but it's silence... gas builds up in my skull... it feels like pressure... anxiety feels like that pressure coming out". Catherine also stated that there are "so many different flavours of happy". She experiences happiness as a physical sensation of warmth, glow, and said it feels solid and safe. Catherine reflected that she experiences happiness when she isn't upset, a "base level so long as I'm not upset I'm fine". In relation to sadness, she talked specifically about mourning "you can sometimes see the graphics of the pictures... it's a sink hole that pulls down into a void". Catherine stated, "surface level sadness doesn't do that only mourning creates that spiral".

I apologise on behalf of my fellow countrywoman for the poor grammar in all that, but I thought it was best to copy out verbatim.

Thus concluded the first interview.

In the second interview we talked far more about how I acted and played as a child, going into childhood memories, friendships, school performance. There was a little bit about emotional health, socialising, and empathy as well. It wasn't quite as structured at the first interview, so it's difficult to pull any examples out.

The questionnaire was about masking, a relatively common phenomenon in females with Autism where they 'mask' their difficulties by copying the behaviours of those around them.

Anyway, it took a week and a half, roughly, for the team to basically meet up and discuss their findings. Apparently there was little doubt that I was autistic, and thankfully they let me know via the NHS's equivalent of Zoom the very next day, rather than waiting until the written report was ready, which took about another week after that.

Right, last but not least, how did this ball get rolling in the first place. There has always been a disconnect with my peers, as if I was out of sync with others in my own age group. I couldn't understand how they think, how they moved about their lives, how they prioritised, what they prioritised, none of it made sense to me. I always took stuff literally, certain jokes would (and do) offend me, sarcasm would sting more than it was meant to, I couldn't understand what I saw as people living on the surface of the world when there was so much depth below their feet that they deemed unimportant.

Due to actions of suppression, mostly perpetrated by my mother, all these symptoms went largely ignored until I was seven when the county schools service basically put its foot down and ordered a mental health assessment. That was when I was originally diagnosed with ADHD. It was also stated that I should be assessed for ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), but both were utterly suppressed, and I didn't find out any of this until about 6 years ago, 17 years after the original investigation. I cut off all communication with my mother after that.

While pursuing an adult diagnosis of ADHD, for reasons of good old British bureaucracy, the psychologist in charge of that recommended me for an autism assessment. Which brings us roughly up to date today.

And there you have it.

If you are interested in trying out a screening test for autism, and this should only be taken as an initial enquiry into the topic and in no way whatsoever be considered any form of medical proof or diagnosis, then you can access the University of Cambridge's Autism screening test through the NICE website (National Institute for Health and Care Excellence).

I hope somewhere in all of that I answered your question, if not do let me know.

#asks #non story content #autism #asd

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allaroundmelbourne · 5 years

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Serena Williams loses only two games in triumphant Australian Open return

Updated January 15, 2019 15:00:46

Photo: Serena Williams pumps a forehand return against Tatjana Maria. (AP: Kin Cheung) Serena Willams's long-awaited return to the Australian Open may have lacked the drama of her most recent appearance at a major but she produced a powerful enough display to suggest an eighth singles title at Melbourne Park is not out of the question. Key points:Serena Williams took just xx minutes to beat Tatjiana MariaWilliams has not played at the Australian Open since 2017 when she won the title while eight weeks pregnantShe is a seven-time singles champion at Melbourne Park Williams was absent from the Open 12 months ago, following the birth of her daughter Alexis Olympia in late 2017, and the 16th seed picked up from where she left off with a comprehensive 6-0, 6-2 win over Germany's Tatjiana Maria on Rod Laver Arena. "It's kind of weird walking back on by myself this time, but it feels good," Williams said after beating Maria. "I have so many good memories of the last time I was here. Honestly, it was the best win (2017) of my career. It's exciting to get back." There has been much water under the bridge as far as Williams's career is concerned since she lifted the Daphne Akhurst Memorial Cup as Australian Open champion two years ago when eight weeks pregnant. Following a lengthy lay-off, she returned to the WTA Tour last year and reached the Wimbledon final but her 2018 season was punctuated by her meltdown in the US Open final when she lost to Japan's Naomi Osaka. Williams was penalised a game after abusing chair umpire Carlos Ramos and later fined $24,000 for three code violations during the 6-2, 6-4 defeat to Osaka, which also included receiving coaching from her mentor Patrick Mouratoglou, and breaking a racquet. It was more a sedate affair on Rod Laver Arena this afternoon amid hot conditions, with Williams racing through the opening set in just 19 minutes, having conceded only five points while serving a series of games to love. External Link:Australian Open tweet The brutality of Williams' groundstrokes was on display, as illustrated when she cranked a clean forehand winner to break Maria's serve in the second game of the match, while her play at the net was sublime. The second set largely went to script, however Maria got on the scoreboard much to the delight of the crowd when she nervously held serve in the fourth game to trail 3-1. Williams, who first won the Australian Open as a 21-year-old in 2003, responded in emphatic fashion by winning the next game to love and although Maria held serve for a second time it was not enough to halt the American, who gained a fifth break to clinch victory. It took Williams just 49 minutes to move through to the second round, as she chases a 24th major singles crown, which would see her equal the record held by Australia's Margaret Court. Williams was not the only women's seed to impress on day two, with her countrywoman and 17th seed Madison Keys defeating Australian teenager Destanee Aiava 6-2, 6-2. Another Australian, Ajla Tomljanovic pushed Johanna Konta to the brink in the first-round encounter before the Briton prevailed 7-6 (7-4), 2-6, 7-6 (10-7) Seventh seed Karolina Pliskova beat fellow Czech Karolina Muchova 6-3, 6-2 and the 12th-seeded Elise Mertens of Belgium won 6-2, 7-5 over Slovakian Anna Karolina Schmiedlova.

Photo: Kei Nishikori places an ice bag on his chest during a break against Kamil Majchrzak. (AP: Mark Schiefelbein) The eighth seed in the men's draw, Japan's Kei Nishikori, survived a significant scare in his match with Polish qualifier Kamil Majchrzak, as both players battled the plus-30 degrees heat on Margaret Court Arena. Majchrzak led two sets to love but was forced to retire because of cramping after Nishikori dragged the contest into a fifth set, winning 3-6, 6-7 (6-8), 6-0, 6-2, 3-0 after almost three hours of play. Russia's 15th seed Daniil Medvedev, who lost to Nishikori in the Brisbane International final earlier this month, progressed in more comfortable fashion by beating South African qualifier Lloyd Harris 6-1, 6-2, 6-1. Borna Coric, the 11th-seeded Croatian, also advanced after defeating Belgian Steve Darcis 6-1, 6-4, 6-4. Topics:sport,tennis,australian-open,melbourne-3000 First posted January 15, 2019 14:14:22 http://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-01-15/serena-williams-wins-first-match-at-australian-open/10716574

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asiangamessquash2018 · 6 years

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Birthday Girl Nicol makes it five

After a glittering squash career in which she has won every prize on offer, Malaysian superstar Nicol David could hardly have dreamed of a better way of celebrating her 35th birthday than by claiming a record fifth Asian Games gold medal - 20 years after winning her first.

The former world number one - a title David held for an unprecedented 109 months in a row - defended the title she last won in Incheon in 2014 after again surviving a final against a fellow countrywoman. This time, at the Gelora Bung Karno Sports Complex in the Indonesia capital Jakarta, David had to fight back from 2/1 down to overcome teenager Sivasangari Subramaniam - her undoubted successor - 11-13, 11-9, 5-11, 11-6, 11-8 in 52 minutes .

While David was marking her sixth successive appearance in the event - the only player in Jakarta to have also competed in the inaugural event in Thailand in 1998 - Subramaniam was making her debut. The 19-year-old 5/8 seed from Kedah claimed two of the biggest scalps of her brief career to reach the final, seeing off second seed Annie Au in the quarter-finals, then world No.16 Joshna Chinappa in the semis to set up a meeting with her idol for the first time.

"It's always nice to win the gold for Malaysia," David, from Penang, said. "This win also means a lot to me too as this is likely my last Asian Games.

"Of course it was a really close battle too. Sivasangari came into the final having won the biggest matches in career and she had that momentum going. I knew it was always going to be tough and true enough it went to five. I'm really pleased with my performance in the end.

"But I'm also really proud of Sivasangari. She has trained hard and she showed that she can stand among the best too."

The impressive Subramaniam added:

"I'm satisfied with my individual showing. I had an amazing run and I got to play Nicol. It's certainly a dream come true for me but it's now on to the next one, which is the team event."

The men's final was also a one-nation affair in which second seed Max Lee, the Hong Kong No.1, faced domestic rival Leo Au, the 3/4 seed who upset Indian favourite Saurav Ghosal to reach the final against the odds.

Lee boasted a career 10-7 head-to-head advantage over Au going into the match - but only two months ago lost out to lower-ranked Au in the Hong Kong national championship final.

World No.21 Au carried on where he left off on home soil, and defeated Lee 11-8, 12-10, 6-11, 11-4 to become the first Hong Kong player to claim gold in the men's event.

"I think both Max and I played very well today," said the 28-year-old. "I'm very happy that we made it a 1-2 finish for Hong Kong.

"On a personal note, I feel that I've finally made it happen for myself. All my hard work and perseverance has finally paid off. I've proven to myself that I can actually do it!"

#finals #report

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girlonadyinghorse · 7 years

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for every @ i get, i have to tag someone i love/look up to! || accepting

@thedragoninthesnow / @tamedbythesun and your billion blogs : Dee is one of the first friends I made here and one that stuck around (which is rare enough to be mentioned). She made my experience in this fandom a bliss and I love her to the moon and back. I honestly don’t think my adventure on this blog would have been complete without her. She is so talented and I don’t know how she can write all those different characters and do such an amazing job. If that is not talent, then I don’t know what is.

@dcrnishdragcn / @righteousinwrath : Mari is the other love of my life. I will forever be grateful for the day she messaged me on an old blog of mine about wanting to make a Daryn. The rest was history. Seriously I feel like we have been friends forever and I love her with all my heart. She is so brave to play a minor character like Daryn and she does it so well. She fleshed him out from almost nothing. It speaks volume of her talent as a writer. She has been an amazing support for me ooc this year and I am so glad that we are back writing together in this fandom.

@ladyoftheneck : Even if she is not active anymore, she belongs on the list. Talking about friends, Val is my oldest friend here. We met back in 2014 when I first had this blog and we kept in touch ever since. Meera and Alys were the cutest and we had the best threads. I miss her loads and she is such an incredible writer and person. I am hashtag blessed to have her in my life.

@motherofbearcubs : Becky also amazes me with her billion blogs and so much talent. I tagged her on Alysane because that woman and character is pure perfection ! You people have no idea how much I enjoy seeing Becky’s portrayal on my dash. Alysane/Alys is the purest brotp and I live for women supporting other women !

@princessbcrn : Mel is as sweet as Myrcella ! I am always excited to see her on the dash and I am thankful she is giving us a Myrcella to write with. She is such an underrated character and it is awesome to have Mel’s version of that cutie around.

@feastforthecrown : Leah is my fellow countrywoman and an amazing writer ! She is not active anymore but I wanted to acknowledge her anyway. Because she is so talented and I know how hard it can be to write in another language. I miss her and the funniest and purest rivalry between her Robb and Alys. It was the realest feud, reality tv worthy !

@rcseheir : Sophie is a real sweetheart and so strong to stick around after all that has happened to her. I really enjoy her portrayal of Willas and I am always happy when I see her on the dash. She definitely deserves to have positive things said about her.

@zaldrizotala : We have not talked a lot but the few times I approached Sharona she was nothing but kind. I know she is extremely popular and has so many followers but she remains gracious and friendly. She deserves all the praises because she is incredibly talented and also a good person. Plus html and photoshop queen who has helped me a few times.

@pensivethejust : I have only just met Lloyd but he is a cutie. He is very nice and very friendly ooc. I love talking to him. He is also a pretty talented writer and I was freaking out when I saw his blog had followed me because I love Narnia so much. He did not disappoint.

@davosshorthand : Just like DADVOS, Rachel is such a kind and positive presence in this fandom. Her portrayal is on point. I was highkey fangirling the first time I came across her blog because Davos has always been one of my favourite characters. Rachel does him justice and it is a blessing to have her on the dash.

@kingwhocared : Paola is one of those extremely beloved blogs which I am always surprised to be mutual with. Not to throw shades at native speakers but people like Paola who have such a beautiful writing in a second language, deserve all the applause. I am also grateful she chose to write an unpopular and underrated character. I love seeing Stannis on my dash and I think her portrayal is beyond amazing.

@mhysaoffire : There are many Daenerys around and I am always amazed at how they each are incredibly talented and have their own unique take on the character. Weirdly, Tea and I have not interacted even though we have been mutuals for a while. But I always enjoy their portrayal on my dash. We must do stuff together soon !

@meleabra : Another cool kid who deserves all of of her followers. Cat is astonishingly talented and brave to be writing Melisandre. It is not a conventional choice of muse and I am forever happy to see her being portrayed on my dash. Cat does an amazing job with her.

@worshipsonlydeath : Mitchi is a long-time mutual who I also wish I interacted with more. The few times we talked she was a real sweetie, nice™. Like all the people on this list, her portrayal is beyond amazing. Arya is such a complex character and she does her justice. I stalk her from afar.

@maidofwinter : I will always remember our chat and hc about modern Sansa and Alys blackmailing their brothers to take the see Justin Bieber. Those gave me life ! Once again we surprisingly talked quite often but did little writing together. Which is a shame because she is one of the best Sansa’s blogs around. Also member of the amazing writer in their second language club.

@thelostwildwolf : Could have been on this list just because her muse is a cutie and I adore the Stark children. But Rory also deserves to be here because she is a prodigious writer. I stalk her threads and it never fails to give me feels. She is so talented and I am grateful to have a Rickon around.

@astormcrow : Last but not least, my other french friend ! I think we kinda never do in character stuff but we do talk out of character. It is so nice to have another frenchie around. Mia is a cutie and another amazing girl who writes in a second language perfectly and who chose to portray an underrated muse. I love to see Daario on the dash and read her beautiful threads.

#answered #positive tag #agirlofwinterfell #this took me forever #i'm exhausted but happy #also keep sending me those #there are more people i want to write nice things about

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astro-onechampionship · 6 years

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Rome Trinidad is determined to succeed and show what women can do

Filipina atomweight contender Rome “The Rebel” Trinidad is a striking presence in the ONE Championship cage, but don’t be fooled by her appearance.

The rising star of the ONE atomweight division is a former professional model, but has a burning passion for martial arts that has carried her onto the global stage. Now she has her sights set on the top.

Trinidad makes her latest appearance in the cage on Saturday, 12 May when she takes on Priscilla Hertati Lumban Gaol in a battle between two talents tipped for success in the growing atomweight division.

The matchup represents Trinidad’s third professional bout, and her second appearance inside the ONE Championship cage. And after losing out to Thai favourite Rika “Tinydoll” Ishige on her debut, she’s determined to get off the mark and register her first win in the ONE cage.

The 21-year-old has a long career ahead of her, but she had to face battles of another kind growing up, as she dealt with the separation of her parents and the unwanted attention of bullies.

One of four siblings in San Rafael, Bulacan, Trinidad explained how things were far from smooth in her formative years.

“My parents are actually separated,” she said.

“You know how it is with married people [sometimes] – they separate, then get back together, and then separate again. I grew up with that environment, with us not being together, really. Some of us stayed with dad, and some of us stayed with mom.”

Dealing with a family break-up is bad enough for any young girl to deal with, but Trinidad also found herself on the receiving end of bullying.

She had participated in beauty pageants since her high school days, leading to some of her fellow pupils to unfairly label and tease her.

“People made fun of me a lot because I am a girl,” she explains.

“They say that beautifying myself is the only thing I know. I was hurt, because as a woman, I know I can do so much more.”

Determined to prove her detractors wrong, Trinidad set her sights on a career in the police force, but came up against resistance from another source - her parents.

“I wanted to take up criminology, but my parents did not approve of it, because I am a girl,” she said.

“I know they are just looking out for me.”

Determined to be successful, but heeding her parents’ advice, she switched her focus, and instead studied Communication Arts at World Citi Colleges in Antipolo, Rizal. It wasn’t her first-choice subject, but she ended up gravitating towards her original subject preference anyway.

After witnessing a police officer teaching a class and demonstrating the Filipino martial art of sikaran, Trinidad decided she wanted to try it out. Even though the opportunity was only afforded to students studying criminology, Trinidad persuaded the police officer to let her join in.

“I mustered up my courage to walk up to the instructor and ask if I could try out,” she remembered.

“He asked what course I was taking, and when I told him I was taking Comm Arts, he was taken aback, because I am a woman and I was not taking up criminology. He let me try out, and that is how I got started.”

She was a natural, and progressed quickly in her study of the art, representing the school and earning honours as the best female sikaran athlete during an open tournament in 2016. Sadly her venture into her new passion was cut short when financial struggles forced her to leave college, and in turn, the sikaran programme.

“I gave way for my younger sibling to finish his studies,” she explained.

“Because we were both studying in private schools, it was financially difficult to manage for my parents, so I wanted to help.”

Trinidad’s love of martial arts was well and truly alive, however, and remained determined to pursue it in some shape or form.

But before finding her home in the cage, Trinidad went back to her beauty pageant roots and landed a succession of modelling jobs through an agency. With the money earned, she helped support her family and help her sibling make it through school.

The jobs were varied but, in a fiercely competitive industry, Trinidad took on all her assignments with enthusiasm.

“I became an ambassador for a resort, appeared in a print ad for a local theme park, and my last gig was a digital commercial for a popular beer brand,” she said.

“It is difficult to get a [modelling] gig though, with so much competition.”

They weren’t the only gigs Trinidad took part in, either. She also played in gigs of the musical variety, singing in a band, playing late-night acoustic sets. She admitted it was something that helped her relax between martial arts training sessions.

“I love singing,” she explained.

“After training, it was my way of relaxing. I sang at bars and coffeeshops when I was just starting martial arts.”

With Trinidad seeming like a natural fit in both the modelling and music worlds, she had designs on a different career.

Inspired by fellow countrywoman Gina “Conviction” Iniong, Trinidad switched her attention from sikaran to martial arts.

“There is so much one can do in the cage, and I thought it was more exciting to watch and do,” she explained.

She made her professional debut in April 2017, and scored a TKO victory over Maria Anna Javilagon. Shortly after that win, she was invited to compete for ONE Championship. It was a can’t-miss opportunity, and she leapt at the chance.

Trinidad’s debut saw her compete against Rika Ishige at ONE: WARRIORS OF THE WORLD in Bangkok, Thailand. Despite being competitive throughout, she eventually succumbed to a second-round rear-naked choke submission as “Tinydoll” took the victory.

It was Trinidad’s first taste of defeat in the cage, but recognising how early she is in her career, “The Rebel” was undeterred by her early setback on her promotional debut.

“Losing does not make one a goner. It is probably just a test from God so that I will have a reason to rise back up,” she says.

“It was my first time to fight internationally, and I lost. It gave me motivation to keep going, get better, and be more aggressive. Most of all, it taught me to be humble in all aspects of my life.”

She may only have two professional bouts under her belt, but Trinidad is already starting to inspire youngsters, who have approached her asking for advice. And she’s more than happy to oblige.

“There are a lot of younger kids who come up to me and ask: ‘How do I become like you?’” she said.

“I am not telling them to become cage warriors like me, but I want them to be strong against any challenge in life – not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally.”

Trinidad will look to rise to her latest challenge when she faces Lumban Gaol at ONE: GRIT AND GLORY in Jakarta.

After taking a detour from her original career path, she says the biggest prize isn’t getting her hand raised in victory, it’s earning the praise and pride of her parents.

“My only goal is, really, for my parents to be proud of me,” she admitted.

“I just want them to be proud of my achievements in life.”

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writingsubmissions · 7 years

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Fights to Make: UFC Singapore

Holly Holm (beat Bethe Correia) vs. Liz Carmouche: Well, that was...something. At least Holm provided the lone highlight of the main card, kicking Bethe Correia’s head off after Correia prompted her to do something. But besides that...woof. This may been Holm’s most boring fight yet, as pretty much literally nothing happened until that third-round knockout. Horrifyingly, Holm may actually be in line for a title shot given the state of things - she has the highest name value of anyone left in the division, Sara McMann already has a fight booked, and it’s really just Raquel Pennington left as the only other obvious contender - but I’m not willing to go that far just yet. But...jeez, what else do you do with Holm? There are fights like Julianna Pena or Cat Zingano, who are coming off losses, and Holm/Pennington’s already been done, so...let’s go with Liz Carmouche, even though in the real world, it doesn’t appear Holm’s management wants her anywhere near someone who can wrestle.

Rafael dos Anjos (beat Tarec Saffiedine) vs. Jorge Masvidal: Dos Anjos’s welterweight debut was one of the highlights of the main card, at least relatively - it wasn’t a particularly great fight, and kind of ugly, but the former lightweight champ looked good and should be at least be a top ten or so fighter in the division at worst. There’s really no sense in wasting time trying to move dos Anjos up the ladder in his new division, so I’d do a fight with Masvidal next; it’s probably the best way to immediately establish dos Anjos as a contender, since Masvidal is also lightweight-sized and my main concern for RDA is when he faces some of the more giant guys at welterweight.

Colby Covington (beat Dong Hyun Kim) vs. Kamaru Usman: Well, Colby Covington won, at least. It was absolutely unwatchable - Covington is a relentless wrestler and damn good at it, but as he’s started facing decent competition, it feels less and less like we’re getting anywhere, as Covington is unable to work for a finish. But I’m not sure who the guy is who can shut down Covington’s wrestling - let’s try Usman, who’s currently the top rising welterweight in the company. Usman’s had a similar run up the ranks, dominating people with his wrestling, but he’s at least shown some vicious striking to go along with that in his last few fights. Ideally, I’d hope for Usman to get a big win and try and convince Covington to develop a more well-rounded game, but if Covington can use his wrestling to get through Usman, shit, good on him.

Bethe Correia (lost to Holly Holm) vs. Cat Zingano: I’m not sure what Bethe Correia did in a past life to be reincarnated as a human meme, but she lost in embarrassing fashion once again, taunting Holly Holm to do something and then immediately getting her head kicked in. Correia’s complete lack of athleticism just gives her a clear ceiling, even though she does have some smart gameplanning, so I don’t really know where you go from here. Cat Zingano needs a win. Cat Zingano can probably beat Bethe Correia at this point, unless her game is completely broken. So Bethe Correia it is!

Dong Hyun Kim (lost to Colby Covington) vs. Ryan LaFlare/Alex Oliveira (Jul. 22) winner: Kim’s been a stalwart of the welterweight top ten for years now, but this loss to Covington suggested that he may be aging into more of a gatekeeper role at this point. Whoever wins the fight in Long Island between LaFlare and Oliveira deserves a ranked opponent, and have enough strength and/or straight-ahead wrestling to provide a similar test to Covington, so Kim’s as solid a choice as any for that winner to break through against.

Marcin Tybura (beat Andrei Arlovski) vs. Walt Harris (beat Cyril Asker): Hm. Marcin Tybura got what, on paper, was a big win over Andrei Arlovski, but it wasn’t all that great in practice - Tybura abandoned his recent striking gains and just went back to his old wrestling-heavy game, which worked like a charm, even if it wasn’t all that exciting. So there’s not a ton that suggests Tybura is a future contender, even if he is really good. You could move him up the ladder if you wanted to, but instead I’ll put him against Harris, who’s a more interesting prospect; I’m not entirely sure Harris has finally figured things out, but as a 34-year old athlete, his time is now and he’s looked good thus far in the year, so Tybura’s a solid fight for Harris to see if he can become a thing while the opportunity is ripe.

Ulka Sasaki (beat Justin Scoggins) vs. Ben Nguyen: Welp. That was something. Justin Scoggins continues to Justin Scoggins, dominating a fight before getting choked out, and Ulka Sasaki was the beneficiary in this case. Sasaki’s such a fascinating prospect because he somehow makes 125 while still being 5′11″, and he has the slick submission skills he showed off here. Nguyen probably deserves a bigger fight, and I liked Nguyen/Scoggins as a rising contender fight if Scoggins would’ve just won the damn thing, but Sasaki/Nguyen is a fun, scrambly matchup that could fit in on an Asian card.

Andrei Arlovski (lost to Marcin Tybura) vs. Mark Godbeer: Well, I don’t think Andrei Arlovski can get a win that matters anymore - this was a good matchup, since Tybura’s on the slow side and doesn’t have much knockout power, but Arlovski still mostly got out-wrestled en route to a flat loss. Ideally, retirement would be next for Arlovski at this point, or UFC may just cut him coming off five straight losses (though Bellator would gladly have him) - of people on the roster, I guess Godbeer is the most winnable fight that wouldn’t be too sad, as he’s an undersized guy as well, but doesn’t have near the wrestling Tybura does.

Tarec Saffiedine (lost to Rafael dos Anjos) vs. Leon Edwards: Saffiedine’s UFC run continues to be kind of blah - he’s technically sound, but not particularly imposing, and tends to try and neutralize opponents rather than offer much resistance; and even then, Saffiedine doesn’t really seem to neutralize high-level opponents enough to actually get a win. Saffiedine’s at the point where I feel like there should be one of those fights we’ve seen a lot more of lately, between a veteran trying to avoid his worst loss and a prospect trying to get his best win, and I like British prospect Leon Edwards, a well-rounded athlete, as a fight for Saffiedine in that vein.

Justin Scoggins (lost to Ulka Sasaki) vs. Louis Smolka: Oh, Justin Scoggins. The shame of it is that he’s a good wrestler, but as soon as he started grappling with Ulka Sasaki, it was pretty much inevitable that he’d dominate until getting tapped out, which is exactly what he did. Sigh. Scoggins is an excellent prospect with a knack for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory, and I have no idea what you do with him at this point, given that he’s also been around long enough to face a lot of his fellow mid-tier flyweights. I guess go with Smolka? I feel bad, since Smolka’s on a losing streak of his own and needs a win, but it’d be a solid fight and an opportunity to see if Scoggins can actually not find himself getting choked out against someone who can do so.

Alex Caceres (beat Rolando Dy) vs. Kyle Bochniak/Jeremy Kennedy (Jul. 22) winner: Alex Caceres remains impossible to figure out, as he looked good here, even if part of that was an exceptionally poor performance from Dy. Anyway, Caceres is fairly settled into an action gatekeeper spot, so he’d be a good next fight for either Bochniak or Kennedy, depending on which prospect wins on the Long Island card, to keep moving up the ranks.

Russell Doane (beat Kwan Ho Kwak) vs. Tom Duquesnoy: Doane’s a talented fighter who’s been hurt by some tough matchmaking, so it was nice to see him hang on the UFC roster in what was certainly his last shot by starching top Korean prospect Kwak. So, let’s throw him back in the deep end! Tom Duquesnoy’s the consensus best prospect in all of MMA, and Doane’s the perfect step up for his next UFC fight.

Jingliang Li (beat Frank Camacho) vs. Luke Jumeau: Li remains the one good Chinese fighter, and fun as hell, though the first round of this fight with Camacho showed his flaws as far as being able to get rocked early. So, yeah, Li’s pretty much a fun mid-tier fighter to try and put in exciting brawls, and Luke Jumeau, who made a successful debut in his native New Zealand last week, has some solid potential for a fight like that.

Lucie Pudilova (beat Ji Yeon Kim) vs. Lauren Murphy: I didn’t think she won, but Pudilova’s fight with Ji Yeon Kim was close enough that her getting the nod wasn’t a robbery - plus it assures a fun fighter stays on the roster. Pudilova against Lauren Murphy would be a fun fight between two hard-nosed competitors, so let’s do that.

Naoki Inoue (beat Carls John de Tomas) vs. Eric Shelton/Jarred Brooks (Jul. 29) winner: So, Naoki Inoue is fairly awesome - it’s hard not to look at his long frame and ridiculous ability to transition submissions and see him developing into, at worst, a flyweight version of, say, Charles Oliveira. But I have no idea where you go next, since UFC’s flyweight division is fairly thin and pretty much entirely a shark tank. So ideally UFC would just have him face a newcomer, but of anyone on the roster, I suppose go with the winner of the Shelton/Brooks fight at UFC 214, since those guys are as low on the totem pole as anyone.

Ji Yeon Kim (lost to Lucie Pudilova) vs. Cindy Dandois: Like countrywoman Chan Mi Jeon the week before, South Korea’s Kim fought her smartest fight yet in her UFC debut, abandoning the relentless wrestling game I’d seen in the past and instead flashing a surprisingly excellent boxing game. Still, she surprisingly lost the decision, so let’s get back on the horse and put her against Cindy Dandois. This could be a fun fight if it goes to the ground, but Dandois is, to put it simply, a god-awful striker, so Kim should be able to win this on the feet.

Jon Tuck (beat Takanori Gomi) vs. Devin Powell/Darrell Horcher (Jun. 25) winner: Well, Jon Tuck got a first round finish of Takanori Gomi, which was nice in that it kept Tuck on the roster, but it really just says more about how shot Gomi is at this point. Tuck’s purely a lower level guy until he shows any signs of his game clicking, so let’s put him against the winner of a pink-slip derby against Powell and Horcher next week, since that’ll be a fun lower-level fight where maybe someone can show something.

Takanori Gomi (lost to Jon Tuck) vs. Joe Ellenberger: As for Gomi, he should retire or at least be back in Japan crushing cans or something. The lightweight legend can’t take a punch anymore, and there’s no obvious one-dimensional submission specialist in the lower ranks of the division who just won’t punch Gomi in the face. Joe Ellenberger hasn’t fought since 2014, so he may be retired, but...I have no other options. I have no options! Gomi fights just make me sad.

Frank Camacho (lost to Jingliang Li) vs. Charlie Ward/Galore Bofando (Jul. 16) loser: I don’t know how much success Camacho will have in the UFC, but I hope he sticks around, since he’s a fun, undersized brawler. Conor McGregor teammate Charlie Ward - who is not good - is facing newcomer Galore Bofando on the Glasgow card, as UFC tries to find someone for Ward to beat, so whoever loses that, Camacho would make for a fun scrap against ‘em.

Cyril Asker (lost to Walt Harris) vs. Jarjis Danho: Asker’s pretty much just cannon fodder - he’s not bad or anything, but he’s not particularly big, he’s not particularly athletic, and that’s a problem with a game more focused on finishing things on the ground than anything. Jarjis Danho is massive but not particularly good, and has negative cardio, so Asker/Danho could just be a weird, entertaining trash fire, which I’m down for.

Kwan Ho Kwak (lost to Russell Doane) vs. Andre Soukhamthath: Kwak’s loss to Doane was a bit disappointing - Kwak’s an elite athlete, but just tries to out-athlete his way out of any tough situations, which got him knocked out when Doane was able to corner him. Hopefully Kwak gets a third UFC chance, and if it does, Soukhamthath, a Laotian-American fighter who had a fun UFC debut loss against Albert Morales, would make for a fun fight.

Carls John de Tomas (lost to Naoki Inoue) vs. Jenel Lausa: It was a one-sided loss, but de Tomas did well to survive against Inoue, although he’s also in the same boat as his opponent - I like them both as prospects, but don’t see an obvious winnable fight going forward on the roster. Let’s put de Tomas against Filipino countryman Lausa, an undersized boxer, since he’s one of the few lower-tier guys I think de Tomas could beat.

Rolando Dy (lost to Alex Caceres) vs. Patrick Williams: I liked Dy’s pre-UFC tape, but this was very much a “8-4 Filipino fighter” performance, as Dy got punched in the eye early and just mostly got dominated by Caceres, showing little in the process. Patrick Williams is apparently moving up to featherweight - that’s a fine lower-level action fight where hopefully Dy can show off some of his skills.

#ufcsingapore #ufc singapore #ufc fight night 111 #ufcfightnight111 #ufn 111 #ufn111 #ufc #mma #matchmaking

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thekursuns · 7 years

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How small is the world?

Every picture has a story. So what’s that of this above? I will tell you later on this blog…

I’m back again. I guess you will say “Enough man! We’re bored of hearing your struggle with your own mind for writing a piece of nonsense!”. Or maybe it’s just my bad suspicion. But that’s a big matter for me. To write or not to write; that’s the question! Finally I beat all the hitches, my old netbook which is full of lags, my own laziness to begin writing, my annoying hand phone that doesn’t let me move the pictures easily… By the way, we also decided to write a book that’s going to tell our story from my own and lovely wife’s perspectives. Just wait and see… Don’t forget to follow us until the time comes.

Actually I was thinking to title this blog as “Waiting!” as a novel of a great Chinese author impressed me a lot. Please let me tell some about that.

“Sweatheart, will you wait for me? I will come back to you soon. We are still, still one family, aren’t we? Don’t leave me..” said Lin Kong…

I heard tell of a new author, during a class of mine which is about Asian societies, but through literature. I had no idea who he was and what he had written. As it was my task for one of the classes on Chinese literature, I read only a short story of his. To be honest, I felt disgusted as he gives too many details. Though all those details are the life itself and all of us may witness such incidents, it was still (partly) disgusting to read. Sorry, I forgot to tell the name. It was a book that contains some short stories of a well-known Chinese author (who has moved to USA to make a clean break in his life and decided to use only English as his new adopted language to write), named as “Ocean of Words”. My and Ha Jin’s was a short-dated friendship and I’ve never heard of him again till I encountered his other works in a crazy book fair as its name also suggests: “Big Bad Wolf”. Yes, it was really like a Big Bad Wolf with hundreds of bookworms rambling inside him.

She offered me the book “En(She)Klopedia”. But of course I don’t need a book to understand her!

As I have a bookish wife, we visited this fair (whereby all the books were on sale with at least 50% discounts) two times, first of which was for my wife and the second absolutely for me. During that second visit, while I was bogging down inside the books in every moment and not many things appealed me among those huge book stands, my lovely wife exhumed me from that confusion and showed me a book, which has only a pigtail on its cover. She asked me “do you know this author?”. I said no, without even looking at it carefully (sorry my wife, sometimes I can be uninterested :) However, later I checked that again and realized that it was him, Ha Jin. Later on we found some more books of his and at the end of the tiring journey, being aware of the fact that we can only afford to buy one of them, we chose that “pigtail” which is tied with a red ribbon.

Few days later I opened its first page and you will not believe that I finished it in less than five days. I said you will not believe as I’m not a good reader at all! But its flowing story simply mesmerized me. (Well, I should remember that one of the reasons was my wife got cross at me and kept silent for almost two days! Thanks babe for letting me read the book in such a short while :) The setting was a military hospital (in many of his works Ha Jin tells military stories), the story was about a young doctor (at least young at the beginning), his prearranged marriage with a countrywoman and second love story, and of course his “waiting”. He feels he’s fallen in love for the first time in his life and decides to divorce his wife, who has been taking care of his old mother and father, and later on his own daughter, all the time he’s been away for work. He comes back to his town every summer, but cannot succeed in his action for the divorce. He waits, so his lover does. Until he finally muddles through all obstacles…

Waiting…

For about eighteen years…

For the whole story, please find and buy that book. You will never regret!

Waiting…

It sounds familiar to me. I know that feeling. Ok, I’ll not wade into my long distance story now, as I did that many times in my previous blog writings. Please have a look at them if not yet you have. Just a few words… We know what is “waiting”. We waited a couple of years for each other, for seeing alive, for touching “halal”. Then we waited to make things right. And we waited for our little prince or princess, though we are still waiting. We waited to move from our lovely home, just because of people’s blindness, fanaticism, bigotry… We are waiting to go back. We will wait for new adventures. Does “waiting” have an end? I think it doesn’t. We will still wait even after we completely move from this earthly earth.

Lunch at the Kuala Lumpur International Airport and my dear teh tarik!

Well… Not only are we waiting in this world. Many others also do. They wait for their dreams. They wait for their lovers. Mothers wait for their sons. Guns wait for a hunt. So does darkness, for a light… Yes, I’m finally getting back to the main point, my title, “how small is the world?”. Heroes of “waiting” find fellows everywhere in the world. Also we’ve done. We had a couple of familiars few years ago. Yes, they are Emel and Farhan, whom you see in the picture above. Last year, when we visited them for their first wedding held in Tosya town of Kastamonu just ahead of a doomsday hitting my country, Farhan’s father, Uncle Murtza insistently invited us for the next party in Malaysia. I still remember his words… “Come to Malaysia. Please, welcome to Malaysia!”. The moment, I couldn’t deem it likely as it would be too hard for us to buy tickets to Malaysia, find enough time in January and join their second wedding ceremony there. I just graciously answered him as “InshaAllah. If Allah gives this opportunity to us…” Yes! HE did. He gave us the chance to see these warm-hearted people again. Uncle Murtza, his lovely wife, my fellow Farhan and sister Emel, Farhan’s super brothers (one of them is a virtual pilot!) and other members of his family… I can’t find words for their hospitality, amidst all the “wedding hoo-hah”. They hired a room for us for one week, took us travel in Kuala Lumpur, even bought our tickets to Singapore and bid a farewell with really nice gifts…

I also shared this photo on Instagram and wrote a caption saying “Dünya küçük…”, which means “the world is small”. The world is really small. I know we will meet them again in the future. They are still waiting for each other. May Allah let them fulfill this longing for an eternal life. And I also know we will meet for other beloveds of ours, in a good time and place…

That looks too short to tell everything about a good fellowship, but I can’t fit all inside this blog. I would like to tell more about them in the next pieces of my mind and fingers..

A nice conversation once again with the family of Medic Mesir :)

So, we were in a part of this small world. Just one day we set aside some time for our backpacker journey, leaving Farhan and Emel for the arrangements of their wedding, which was going to be held the following day. In the morning, we met some other nice people in a luxury (sorry, they took us there :) hotel, for a breakfast. They were Mr. Ahmad Rodzi and his wife Ummi Medic Mesir :) It’s not her name but she is well-known with this ekename. They manage a non-governmental organization that helps Malaysian students to study medicine in Egypt and countries nearby. I met them for the first time in my own country, to help them arrange applications of students, to universities in Ankara. We had that breakfast and left the hotel together with Mr. Rodzi. He took us to the nearest station of commuter line where we headed for our first destination, “Batu Caves”, which is a huge Hindu temple on a hill. Once we arrived, we encountered an endless staircase beside a gigantic sculpture painted in gold. We climbed till the peak under the rainfall, watched covetous monkeys and innocent chickens, took some selfies before leaving the place and asked a strange man to take our photo (whom I think cannot speak any languages available on earth!) from behind to show our hoodies combining the words of “Together-Since-20-14”. We ordered a grab car, whose driver was a Hindu, and headed to a new place in the hope of finding an Uighur restaurant as we had been craving masterpieces of this unique, peerless cuisine. Unfortunately we couldn’t find it as Google Maps cheated us but also didn’t say no to some biryani and other Indian tastes (teh tarik too, of course). Well… I feel this story is getting too long. To avoid irking you, I will leave the other part of this story, for another blog.

“But how about the picture you put at the beginning. Won’t you tell what its story is?”. I think I will blow the gaff in the next blog. Hopefully soon… But just a clue for you: that picture clearly depicts “innocence” of my real “trouble-maker” wife :)

See you next time! Arrivederci! Or sampai jumpa! :D

#husbandtalks #longdistance #waiting #malaysia #singapore #turkey #friendship #love #family #interracialmarriage

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originaligor-blog1 · 7 years

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Part II: The End

Things seemed mostly blissful. Leeza and I settled into an affectionate yet polite relationship between roommates. Occasionally we snuggled and made out on my bed but never quite consummated our relationship. Her past as a prostitute made me hesitant to become that intimate with her and at that time I believed I still had control over my feelings.

Leeza came and left as she pleased and I found this a little disturbing. There was little rhyme or reason to her comings and goings, she often left around 1 am or later just as often as she left at 10 am to get groceries. She slept very little and ate a lot but amazingly never gained weight. Sometimes she returned flushed, pale and sweaty and she would tell me it was just a panic attack. She often wanted to be left alone and I did my best to give her space.

But then Leeza began to steal. Every time we went to the grocery store, she pocketed something usually using my wheelchair bag. I would not discover it until after we left the store. Sometimes, she stole fun things, like a $56 bottle of whiskey that we savored for a whole month. But most of the time, anxiety sent my heart rate skyrocketing.

"What, are you puuuussy or what!" Leeza spat in accented English when I asked her not to steal. "I need things."

We all need things, I wanted to tell her, but we don't take things that are not ours. And yet, my tongue remained frozen as her piercing stare withered my resolve. She was a true survivor with no compunction over taking what she needed from a faceless, wealthy entity that enriched itself with cheap labor and indispensable products. Ethics were a luxury she had to forgo. How I desperately wished I could change that for her.

Instead, I tried not to notice when my narcotic pills seemed to run out faster than they should have. Unfortunately, it is a little hard not to notice, especially with the pain from my missing foot. The pain got pretty intense and I sure would have liked the narcotics my doctor prescribed for me. I drank copious amounts of beer and whiskey and smoked several bong hits on the days when my narcotics ran out.

Leeza suggested that we pray together to mitigate the pain. In reality, praying helped little but I desperately wanted to believe she cared for me. Later that day, after she left the way she usually did, I received a phone call from the IL Department of Welfare about the use of my food stamps. It was a $90 charge from some store that I never shopped at. How could Leeza do such a thing? I vaguely remembered her stepping outside during our prayer session to ostensibly take a phone call. But her cell phone had not rung and I remembered wondering if I had gone mad. Now I realized that phone call was a ruse to get outside and charge items on my food stamp account.

The last straw was her watering down my methadol medication. My past history of drug abuse makes me susceptible to opiate abuse so my doctor put me on a methadol routine to mitigate any addictive tendencies. I need that methadol to make sure I did not slide down the path of addiction. I had spent hard-fought years relearning sobriety but addictions generally lives within us addicts even after years of recovery.

Leeza flew into a rage at my suggestion that she had watered down my methadol medication. This time, I held firm, knowing I was right and not just paranoid or stupid. But I had no idea what was coming next. She grabbed a dish cloth and garroted my neck with it until I struggled and gasped for breath. Through my dimming consciousness, I saw light beads of sweat ring her hairline and noticed her flush, pale face. Her pupils resembled small pinpricks of darkness in a bright sea of piercing teal eyes. I flinched at seeing the devil deep inside who stopped at nothing and I sensed something much worse brewing.

She threw me from the wheelchair and laughed manically as I fell to the floor. Soon, she kicked my head viciously as I flailed helpless on my back. "You one and half-legged old pedophile!" she screamed as she rained kicks all over my head, my chest and my back. Soon she would stomp the lights out of me. "You bastard!"

My world crashed around me as I lay on the floor, completely stunned. Leeza, the caring fellow countrywoman looking for honest work morphed into an absolute monster that I totally feared at the moment. She seemed ready to kill me. At that moment, Ash, my upstairs neighbor peeked in my door. Leeza grabbed her purse and fled.

Since then, I have not see Leeza . My heart breaks as I inventory a list of missing items that includes a $1000 Omega watch and more narcotics pills. Ash offered to sign any restraining order papers and testify on my behalf if I chose to call the police. But what would that do? Maybe Leeza would strut back into my life, whirl through my living area and expose the floor from scattered clothing.

Instead I confront the abuser within, the one who continually picks the same kind of heartless woman that turns in a red hot second. Because he is me, searching for love and absolution, desperate to love and feel love back. I know I deserve more but whether I can choose more becomes the delicate question. Everything about Leeza felt right until those small moments culminated in a truth that I refused to see. When will an old fool like me learn?

Perhaps never, I now realize. Some of Leeza's stuff still sits on the dining room table. She must have known she was going to take off that day because she also left the key to my place on top of the McCormick and Schmick's duffel bag she left behind. What a useless piece of advertising only a careless dope head needed to get from place to place. The whole thing seems like a dream, even her beating left no marks, except the invisible ones in my psyche.

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