#she even tried to passive-agressively blame me for not telling her from the beginning; so really it's all 1) a fault and 2) MY fault

[joskippy]

!!! ARCHIVIST MARTIN HEADCANONS PLS !!!

OHOHOH FELLA YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH HCS I HAVE FOR THIS AU

Literally all of this is going under a read more because I have this entire au mapped out in detail but basically I find the idea of Archivist!Martin very interesting because it's just changing one detail of the entire podcast and it completely alters the story.

(Under the read more is basically my entire idea for this au from season one to season four)

What happens in this au is that Elias hires and appoints Martin as head archivist because of the fact he was already deeply alligned with the lonely and was a interests of the webs. He lacked any real connection outside of the archives and was already of interest of two entities, he's basically a perfect candidate to become archivist. Tim, Sasha, and especially Jon are hesitant to be working under someone who they don't know and hold a slight grudge against Martin at the start for being obviously unqualifed for his job. Tim and Sasha, of course, immediately become more understanding when finding out about Martin's cv and just assuming he got unlucky and winded up with the role as the head archivist. Jon, on the other hand, still doesn't know about Martin's cv and continues holding the grudge against Martin.

Which leads us to season 1

In season one, Jon's opinion on Martin is "Oh lord this man I don't know is obviously unqualifed for his job and the role of archivist should've gone to my friend Sasha. I don't like this man but he is my boss so I will keep my mouth shut." Jon though, is still very passive agressive to Martin but is less of an ass to him in this au. Martin is very open about his opinion on statements and believes alot of them but similar to jon, will only record the ones that he knows have to be real. I still think Martin get's trapped in his flat by prentiss in this au, wanting to get more info for the case but not wanting to inconvenience any of his co-workers. While trapped in his flat, Jon takes over for him and records statements for Martin (Not in a "I want to impress my boss" matter but more of an "I'll show this twerp how it's really done") and realizes how much of toll it takes on him and how difficult the job is. When Martin comes back from his little worm adventure, Jon is much more nicer and understanding of him. Martin records what happened with him and prentiss and Jon offers him to stay in the little room he made for when he overstays at work. (Martin of course, is not happy with the fact Jon stays past work hours finishing up stuff but that doesnt matter). Y'know how the rest of s1 goes with the prentiss attack (Jon and Martin still share the heart to heart, Jon loses him and Tim in the tunnels) Jon finds Gertrude's body and it sparks his paranoia finding out she was shot to death and then we get to

Season 2

Jon's immediate assumption is that Martin killed Gertrude to get his job because like, he still doesn't know Martin well and then finds out this dude's predecessor got murdered so of course mr jon sims is going to go "oh so Martin for SURE murdered this lady." For the first half of the season, Jon pretends to be buddy buddy with Martin to see if anything's off with him and somewhere along the line Jon finds the noted Martin was writing to his mom in the trash and immediately assumes its about the murder. He catches Martin in his office and immediately corners Martin like "HEY I KNOW YOU KILLED GERTRUDE AND I GOT THE PROOF" and Martin just sighs and tells him about his cv and mother and Jon's opinion of Martin goes from "incompetent murderer who killed his predecessor to get his job and might kill me." to "highschool drop out whos just trying to make a living might end up being murdered too". With the not-sasha stuff it's sorta the same but Martin let's Jon in on some details of his suspicions on her. Martin get's framed for Jurgen's death and NOW WE ARE AT

Season 3

So since Martin obviously doesn't have a place to hide it at the start of season 3 so Jon offers him to stay at his place. Jon knows that Martin didn't kill Jurgen and is willing to take the risk of giving Martin a  place to stay. Martin, of course, is hesitant but takes the offer because he's been crushing on Jon for the past forever and definitely will take his chances in staying in hot guy's flat. You know the shenanigans of s3 (Martin get's burned by Jude, kidnapped by Daisy, kipdnapped by Nikola) and FINALLY get's back into the archives to apologize to Jon for being gone from the flat for so long and apologizes again cause he's about to go off to america. Martin get's kidnapped again, comes back to london, and now it's time to stop an apocalypse! ( Before the unknowing happens, Jon and Martin share a heart to heart and confess that they both share feelings for another and get together the day before 118 happens then shit goes DOWN ). Martin of course, goes off to the unknowing and Jon stays behind at the archives to distract Elias. Elias tries and fails to use Jon's feelings for Martin against him, then switches to what happened with Georgie and the dead women walking incidents against him, pinning it on him because of his connection with the web. Martin stops the unknowing, Jon comes home to the empty apartment and gets the news that Martin is in a coma. (He immediately blames it on himself) and now it's time for

Season 4

Jon losing Martin right after realizing that they both love each other absolutely tears him apart. He moves flats and he begins to separate himself from the rest of the archives and works with peter. Martin wakes up from his coma without anyone by his side and is told the news to him about his mom right the day after. S4 basically goes the same with Martin seeing Jon again finally after the coma and goes to hug him and tell him how much he missed him but Jon just stares at him like he saw a ghost and leaves without saying a word to him. Alot of their interactions are sparse, usually with Martin trying to spark a convo with Jon resulting in usually no response or just a head shake as he scutters off.  Then Martin finally is able to actually talk to Jon and tells him that he misses him and that maybe they could catch up sometime but Jon just laughs and tells him that hes busy. Martin later on finds out about how to cut off the connection with the eye and goes to tell Jon that they could leave the archives but Jon tells him that he can't and tells Martin he doesn't want to see him anymore and kicks Martin out his office. You know what happens in 158 and 159, it's basically the same and Jon and Martin settle down at the safehouse.

I don't have much for season 5 but I really like the idea that Martin is still optimistic even after the change and that he reassures Jon that he's gonna find a way to fix it when it reality he has no clue and it terrified to think about what is going to happpen to them. They don't stay in the cabin that long soon after since Martin is very eager to go to the pannopticon and ya! Yknow how it goes.

Im so sorry I wrote a whole essay worth of shit but this au means alot to me and i get very excited when people ask me about it!!

#jontalks #tma #archivist!martin #long post #asks #radiactive

[freddiekluger]

I am all ears for your season 3 cap's big gay awakening ideas 👀👀

alright, you asked so sit down and strap in

before we get started- a few details are recycled/repurposed from earlier headcanons/ask answers (characterisation is like that), and i came up with all this a couple weeks back, so any overlap with other peoples suggestions is totally unintentional! i’ve just been finding the energy to properly write them up as originally i riffed them with a friend late at night lmao

the captain: homo evolution

introduction (scroll down if you’re not bothered for the hardcore analysis/logic)

this isn’t necessarily what i think WILL happen as much as how i would do it. over the past two seasons of Ghosts, we’ve seen the captain’s main character arc being centred around him loosening up, from learning to value mike, alison, and the other ghosts more as equals than soldiers/means to an end to the season 2 finale, where cap is not only expressing an interest in flowers and fashion (distinctly un-soldierly pursuits) but joining the party and other men (the direct opposite of About Last Night, in which cap bah humbugs partying/’gay abandon’ and is left speechless by the mere presence of a mostly naked man). that being said, the captain is still the captain: his character is still centred around this need for rules and structure and he still finds his identity in the archetypal WW2 military man- all of his incremental moves towards a more ‘modern’ perspective have ultimately been made possible because, like Ben said on twitter, the captain isn’t CONSCIOUSLY aware that he’s gay. he has the underlying feeling that he’s different, he knows of his tendency to attach himself to specific men and form incredibly close bonds (and, as demonstrated by his attempts to hide them, is at least somewhat aware that that’s not the norm), but in his mind he’s written that off as merely “not being a ladies man”. 

the captain is from the 1940s- it’s one thing for him to see and be supportive of a same-gender wedding in present day England where gay=legal unions, marketed doritos, and homophobia being still present but generally frowned upon, and another thing entirely for him to have to apply it to himself. we’ve already seen that the captain appears to be stuck in the past more than any of the other ghosts (”the war is over!” “is it, alison? is it?”- he also references the past more frequently than most of the others), and in his past sodomite gay=punishable by imprisonment and chemical castration, back alley hookups, and the constant threat of blackmail and violence. obviously, despite all this, there was a vibrant underground queer history taking place in England during this time & not all of the above is accurate, but it’s what cap would have seen, and the England of the early 20th century is denoted as being a particularly brutal period for lgbtq+ folks (the destruction of the first world war exacerbated rage and frustration, and lgbtq+ people weren’t the only gorup to end up on the receiving end of that, but i digress). this is basiclly just a really long way of me saying that the captain compartmentalising to that degree was, and to some extent is, a survival mechanism. confronting his homoseuxality means confronting what it means for a 1940s man to be a dreaded homosexual, and all of that directly conflicts with the image of ‘the Captain’ he’s built in his mind. 

we’ve seen this in Redding Weddy, where the captain is aware that Havers means/meant more to him than was normal for a captain/2ic relationship (he does attempts to hide his affection- “i shall miss you, Havers. by which of course i mean we shall miss you “he left me, i mean he left for the front”), but is never able to fully verbalise WHY, and it only takes a series of increasingly dramatic prompts before he will even mention the idea of Havers, let alone begin to articulate their relationship. 

all this just goes to prove that for the captain to properly ‘come out’, there needs to be an external inciting incident- he could easily have gone on shadowing attractive men whenever they visit and avoiding interrogating those feelings for another seventy years if Button house remained without alison and mike. 

while at least julian, pat, and robin have noticed that the cap is not the most heteroseual of men (they’re the only ghosts who have visibly reacted when cap says gay shit), they all appear to have decided to just not mention it, which makes alison and mike our wildcards. not only has alison’s ability to see and communicate with the ghosts already connected them more to the modern world than they ever have been, alison, and mike by extension, has a personal stake in the wellbeing/general growth of the ghosts. happy ghosts=happy house, and like it or not some of them are even beginning to become friends. [i probably didn’t need to write all this like explaining my decisions, but i think figuring out the motivations behind everyon just develops the flavour and lets us have a sexy and accurate headcanon]

so,

the episode

while the captain might not consciously know he’s a fruit (derogatory), he is well and truly terrible at concealing the thirst (it’s not his fault things just keep slipping out!)- i love the idea of just having a supercut near the beginning of the episode that just shows that the captain has gotten even GAYER since last season, with slip ups becoming almost a daily occurence, but it’s getting to the point where it’s actually becoming a serious hazard. last week, he was supposed to be looking out for alison while attempted to put up blinds, but one of mike’s friends (who was over ‘helping out’, which mostly meant eating chips and covering himself in paint) walked through the room with his shirt off and paint handprints on the seat of his shorts, distracting the captain from realising that alison’s stepladder was about to give way. 

with the increased presence of non elderly men in the house (the previous owner wasn’t exactly the life of the party) the captain is getting gayer and gayer, but he’s also becoming more and more defensive, while his brisk demeanour and need for control regresses to much more of a season 1 state (a subconscious attempt to regain control as things get close to spilling over). it’s not the first time his repression has almost slipped, he spent much of his life surrounded by soldiers after all, but with no war and no corporeal body he’s got almost nothing to distract himself from it. needless to say, between the safety hazards and the almost agressive defensiveness which derails any interaction, something needs to be done about the captain.

throughout the week, alison tries to find the opportune time to talk to the captain about what’s going on with him for everyone’s sake, but cap keeps masterfully evading any ‘deep’ talk with willful misunderstanding or just straight up dismissal (which at times gets a bit rude), and alison really doesn’t have the time- her and mike are caught up with managing the first official room redecoration and butting heads with a passive agressive delivery driver. insert general shenangigans, but at some point the captain’s whole “accidentally sabotage something by being distracted and then attack anyone who dares even look at him the wrong way afterwards” act causes alison to exasperatedly blurt out “we all know you’re gay! we get it! you like men! you can drop the act!”. there’s no malice or anything but, as we know, when alison gets run ragged things don’t tend to come out quite right.

everything falls silent (and mike is vaguely confused), and the captain just looks like a deer in headlights. as alison catches her breath, pat pipes up with a “it’s alright, cap, we don’t mind- now we can focus on the task at hand”. the captain sort of regains his composure and once again attempts to brush them all off with a scoff and a “i haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. if any of us is distracted, i-it’s... kitty!” but it’s easy to tell he looks rattled. most of his words don’t come out right, and after trying to blame kitty for their failures (she just had the unfortunate luck of being in his line of sight), he ends up doing an awkward little walk away which quickly turns into a full on sprint. mike, having finished processing alison yelling about gay shit to the air and kind of pieced together what must have happened awkwardly chimes in with “it’s okay to be gay!”- alison just pats him on the back (”yeah no he’s gone, mike.” “gone?” “sprinted away.” “huh”)

the episode continues with the captain flat out avoiding alison and the other ghosts to an almost funny extent as the other plots continue. it takes a bit for alison to realise why the captain reacted so badly (in fact, it’s actually mike who remembers that he’s 1940s ghost- “he’s probably just scared and taking it out on everyone else”). while thomas and julian vote for leaving the captain be so they can have some peace and quiet, fanny/pat/alison/robin decide someone needs to talk to him (fanny surprised everyone but after all, she got murdered because her husband had to live in secrecy- if talking to the captain will avert any further crises, she’s happy to make sure someone else does it for her). kitty’s still upset about being singled out, but she knows better than anyone that sometimes all you need is a friend- cue realisation no. 2.

with the captain avoiding everyone, sending in a regular emissary isn’t going to work. they need to find the least threatening person possible, with no agenda or history other than being there to help (a friend, if you will)- cue everyone looking at mike.

a quick offscreen briefing later, we see mike wandering out to the field where the captain has exiled himself- remember that up until this point, the captain was still in conscious denial about his sexuality, so being forced to confront it head on (and finding out that apparently everyone ‘knew’, which for cap would feel like an intimate invasion of privacy/forced vulnerability) would rattle him to the point of self-exile- he might not be able to run from his sexuality, but he can run from people. the thing is, mike can’t see or hear the ghosts, which means the captain can’t be frightened off by any expectations (mike actually talks to/at cap while facing completely the wrong direction, but consdiering the above point, this works rather well). 

the captain was alternating between pacing, fiddling with his swagger stick, and sitting, but he unconsciously stands to attention as mike wanders over. he’s used to mike not being able to see them, so mike asking to sit down takes him by surprise, disrupting his instinct to flee again.

mike begins a little awkwardly (”mind if i sit?” *silence* “...i’m just gonna assume that’s a no. or is it a yes? yeah anyways i’m just gonna sit. so... heard you’ve been going through a rough patch”), and the captain almost scoffs and wanders off, but something about the clumsy earnestness in mike’s voice, the captain’s vulnerable state, and the fact that it’s been so long since cap has had anyone actually check in on him, that he stays put. he keeps standing and staring away from button house, and mike keeps speaking to the empty air to his left, and alison and the ghosts stay hidden behind their bush a few metres away, but at least the captain is listening. for the first time in weeks, he’s not on the offensive.

“i can’t actually see or hear you, so i’m just gonna talk and assume you’re listening. alison mentioned you have a habit of running away but, um, maybe don’t do that please?”

“my mate daniel's gay. uh, homosexual, you’d probably say- did you have gay when you were alive? did it just mean happy? anyway, he didn’t come out- that means tell people- until he left high school. we all kind of guessed it, the other kids at school gave him a real tough time for it, but he just squashed it down. couldn’t imagine that all the things people were shouting at him were true, so he ignored it. he’s doing good now though. got married to his husband last year, currently runs a bookshop. so that’s nice.”

it goes quiet for a bit. the captain hasn’t moved, and we’re still only seeing shots of him from the back, but there’s a little less tension in his stance than there was before.  mike clears his throat before continuing.

“i’m guessing you’re probably pretty scared right now. i would be- i mean not that you should be, you shouldn’t, but coming from your... situation, i’m guessing it’d be hard. no one’s saying you have to be anything you’re not ready to be, but lots of things that are scary are actually not bad. airplanes, skydiving, clowns- well, not the clown from that movie, but he gives clowns a bad rep- i’m sure there are plenty of lovely clowns out in the world. still give me the creeps though.” the captain makes a captain-y noise of assent about the clown comment- he never liked them either. 

mike glances over to the bush where alison and the ghosts were attempting to listen in (they could only catch every few words- mary got particularly concerned about why mike had referenced clowns), and the captain still hasn’t run away, so alison motions for mike to keep going. he starts telling the captain a story from his uni days. it’s got nothing to do with the captain, or being gay, or self-acceptance, or anything like that- it’s just a standard tale of comedic but inventive problem solving. the captain sits himself down next to mike (to his right, avoiding mike’s gaze, and still staring away from button house), muttering that his legs are getting a bit tired. he sits there for a while, and mike just talks. sometimes he circles back to the gay thing, sometimes he just asks the captain questions, before remembering that he can’t actually hear any answer, but then he keeps asking anyway, thinking that cap might need to talk. he doesn’t at first, but slowly he offers up a word or two. and then a sentence, and then maybe more- mike will accidentally cut the captain off, or leave the silence to long, but the captain doesn’t mind (it’s a nice reminder that nothing he says will actually go on to have consequence). at one point, mike gets out his phone to show the captain photos of his mate daniel and daniel's husband, not just their wedding day but casual photos- couples drinks with him and alison, dinners at each other's places, the bookshop. 

alison and the other ghosts have long gone, and the sun is just about to sink below the horizon by the time the captain stands himself back up with the traditional knee crack and grunt. he looks at mike and nods, giving him a simple thank you before turning to walk (not run) back to button house, head held slightly higher and looking more relaxed than he’s been all episode. the captain has still got a lot to figure out, but at least it’s a start.

[i love the dramatic ending but the implication is that alison has to go and fetch mike bc he has no ideas cap has left and is prepared to keep going lol- also by no means is cap suddenly going to ditch his characterisation and become a yas kween gay right away, i didn’t go into the aftermath bc this is alreayd fucking LONG but let me know if you want follow up????}

EDIT: i've rbed this with the follow up/part 2 attached!

EDIT 2, much later: switched out mike's reference to his 'younger brother' to a school friend, since the christmas special confirmed mike only has sisters and we're all about accuracy here

#bbc ghosts #ghosts bbc #the captain #ben willbond #bbc ghosts captain #bbc ghosts headcanon #ghosts headcanon #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #mlm

[justanotherlifeff]

Hi I saw you were doing bnha x readers, I was wondering if you could do a bakugo x reader where they go one their first date or one where bakusquad tried to set them up cause they both like eachother please fluff and IDC of it's smut or not

Phase 2

"Bakubro, you're already 25. Don't you think you should go for a serious relationship by now?" Kirishima asked the explosive hero infront of him, who only glared at the hardening hero. "You don't get to tell me what to do shitty hair! My goal is to be the number 1 hero. Not play house." Bakugou barked at Kirishima, making Kirishima sigh. The two of them were good friends since their UA days and while Bakugou was more matured than he was back then, that explosive attitude surely didn't change at all. "What about after being the number 1 hero? Do you even have any plans for then? Bro, right now, fighting and having random hookups may sound nice but in the long term, when you’ll have to retire at some point, you're gonna regret wasting away your life just for one goal." Kirishima tried to reason. "Shut your trap, shitty hair. I don't do love or any sappy bullshit like that." Bakugou grumbled, taking a sip of the beer in his hand. "Unless it's (Y/N)... Too bad that she friendzoned me to oblivion..." Bakugou thought internally. At the moment, Bakugou, Kirishima and Kaminari were in a bar after a long day of hero work to catch up. Bakugou still hung out with the infamous Bakusquad every once in a while, though he usually hung out mostly with Kirishima or you. "Bakubro? Are you scared of the responsibility that comes with relationships? Didn't take you to be the one to be scared of something like that... Even I had the courage to get Kyoka with me." Kaminari teased Bakugou on que. "HAH? I'M NOT SCARED OF ANYTHING DUNCE FACE! FUCKING THROW A RELATIONSHIP AT ME AND SEE HOW I HANDLE THAT SHIT!" Bakugou barked at Kaminari. To that, Kirishima and Kaminari fistbumped behind their backs as their plan was going perfectly.

In a completely different bar, you were sitting with Mina and Sero, sipping the (Drink/N) in your hand. "So, (Y/N)! When are you gonna bag a hot guy into your clutches? My married ass can't see you single for any longer and I am itching to play cupid at this point." Mina elbowed you with a smile. "Sero's single too. Why don't you bother him?" you scoffed in answer, gulping your drink. "Hot guy my ass... The hot guy I like is an egoistical bastard..." you thought internally. "Actually, I'm not single? I kinda started dating a colleague last month..." Sero countered your statement bashfully. "Seeee? You're the only one between us who's single. THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE!" Mina slammed on the table to make a point. "Zeez... Calm your tits Mina... I'm single cause not everyone is manly enough to actually marry the girl he dates. You're one lucky bastard Mina, bagging Kiri like that... The guys I have a thing for usually ends up being fuckboys who only want a one time thing and I'm not into that shit. So it's best to stay single and not get hurt." you sighed. "Alright, (Y/N), if we can get you a guy who isn’t a fuckboy, would you finally go on a date?" Mina asked, looking all mischievous. "Why do I feel like you're plotting something?" you sighed, looking at Mina, tired of her antics.

You became a part of the infamous Bakusquad back in your first year at UA. You were in class 1A and Mina pretty much adopted your antisocial ass into the group. It wasn’t that you were introverted because you talked enough. It was just the fact that you were way too straight forward, to the extent that you sounded kinda rude. However, you tried to be a nice person in general. While it may come as a surprise, the only other person you were close to most in the group except Mina was Bakugou. That was probably because Bakugou respected your brutal honesty and the fact that you could shove reality on people's face without a second thought. Not to mention that Bakugou was quite fascinated by your quirk too. You were interested in Bakugou for the exact same reasons though you found him to be unnecessarily rude sometimes. With time, the two of you started having a thing for eachother, which was pretty much common knowledge within the class when you all reached your third year at UA. However, that's when everything went wrong. Bakugou had finally manned up enough to ask you out at the end of your third year and you made the mistake of hugging and calling him "the best FRIEND you can ever have" after he took you on a date. In your defence, he never mentioned that it was a date and you figured that the two of you were hanging out as friends. Hell, you didn't even know that he had a thing for you as both Bakugou and you were completely oblivious when it came to feelings. Unfortunately, Bakugou felt as if you completely and utterly friendzoned him at that moment, and stopped trying to win your affections and instead, went for random hookups while you were deeply saddened by your crush's sudden change and you pretty much stopped having a love life.

Did that stop the two of you from all the passive agressive flirting you threw at eachother? No, it did not. Infact, to both of your surprise, you two ended up hanging out quite a lot. Ofcourse, they always ended with a weird giddy feeling in both of your stomachs and blazing anger in your minds as the two of you pissed eachother off quite a lot. To be fair, Bakusquad was tired of you two pining on eachother for 9 whole years. They had no idea about Bakugou trying to ask you out at some point as Bakugou would never reveal a failed attempt at sonething. To Bakusquad, enough was enough. After all, who the fuck pines on eachother for 9 fucking years and not make a move? Ever since Kirishima and Mina got married to eachother, they had enough of your and Bakugou's shit. Like every other happily married couple, they decided with the squad that this time, they would finally set the two of you up together. Hence, it all led to them planning the entire thing out and you were now sitting at a reserved table at a fancy restaurant after taking a day off from hero work so that you could meet your mystery date. Did you know why you even agreed to this? Blame Mina for bribing you with the entire series of a very rare first edition of a manga signed by the author himself that you have been saving up for. You honestly expected it to be a rather boring date as you had no interest in being with a random dude and you were only here for the manga and the food. However, you did not expect that random dude to be Bakugou.

Did Bakugou expect to see you instead of some random woman sitting there on the table that Kirishima forced him to reserve for the so called date? No, he totally didn't. You looked as surprised as he did when he entered the restaurant and found you sitting there. This was one of the extremely expensive restaurants in Tokyo and Bakugou always chose the best even if it was some stupid worthless date because it was either classy with Bakugou or nothing. Upon realising the fact that none of you expected something like this, Bakugou felt the bad memories of him trying to date you years back plague him, drowning his self confidence to some extent which in return pissed him off. "What the fuck are you doing here?" Bakugou asked you with a scowl as he approached you. "Guess our idiot friends were trying to get us together." You sighed, motioning him to sit on the chair infront of you. "Fucking shitty hair..." Bakugou grumbled, not looking at you. "Mina lost her damn mind... Here I was looking for a loyal dude and she sent the Ground Zero who's specifically known to be a womanizer." you teased Bakugou, trying to ease up the gloomy mood. "Ya know, you could leave if this isn't your thing." Bakugou looked at you and stated with a scowl. "Meh, Mina bribed me enough to stay. Plus we didn't hang out in a while so it's a win win for me. I honestly thought I'll have to make a conversation with some random weirdo." you answered carefreely. "Did she bribe you with that rare first edition manga that you were obsessing over?" Bakugou asked, raising an eyebrow. "Guilty as charged" you answered, winking at him. Only if you knew that your action made him literally have butterflies in his stomach (something he would never admit).

Kirishima, Mina and Kaminari were hiding outside the restaurants, looking over at you and Bakugou by the window of the cafe. "Bakugou looks too constipated... Ya think we need to get to phase 2?" Kaminari asked. "Uh... I still don't think that's a good idea..." Kirishima tried to reason with the two weirdos beside him but Mina was already calling the cafe to prepare for the said 'phase 2' of the plan.

Bakugou was already uncomfortable about the entire thing from the begining but now that a random dude came at them with a violin and started playing some sappy romantic music, Bakugou was this close to losing his temper. It didn't take long for you to notice Bakugou's dilemma. "You wanna get out of here? Our friends clearly crossed the limit..." you asked him. Without any hesitation, he said, "Fuck... Fine, let's go." before he stood up and left the restaurant with you following him, leaving the violin man and the waiters confused as to why you left without your order even after you already paid for it. "Wow, that was intense." you laughed as Bakugou sulked about how shitty their friends are. "Well, how did they convince you to get here? Didn’t you tell enough interviewers that you 'don't do love'?" you asked Bakugou, teasing him though you were kinda curious. "Shitty hair asked me about what I'd do after I retire and said that I'll regret not giving love a chance so I decided to give it a shot." Bakugou grumbled without looking at you. Ofcourse he wasn’t gonna tell you that they got him into their trap simply by challenging him cause you'd tease him to death over it. "Oooo someone's growing up. Good for you." you answered him with a smile before continuing, "I guess I listened to Mina about this shit cause, well, I used to like this guy but it wasn’t mutual and I guess I wanted to forget about him for a while. I mean, I pretty much never had a love life so...". "Dude must be dumb. You're cool." Bakugou answered, not looking at you as the two of you entered a park that was nearby. "Nah, he's amazing. It's just, love isn't really his thing and I can't exactly change his views." you muttered sadly. "Well, he's still a dumbass." Bakugou huffed in answer. "Okay? I guess he really is a dumbass. I mean, I'm quite sure he came into this date cause Kaminari or Kirishima challenged him to and he actually thought I wouldn’t figure it out." you scoffed, looking away from Bakugou.

Bakugou's face was priceless. At first, he was pissed that you called him a dumbass but then it hit him. "You... You like me?" he choked out, looking shocked. "Well, wasn’t it obvious by now? Our friends set us up together and there was a weird dude playing violin. It seemed that Mina understood that I have a thing for you and did all that. Mina or Kirishima wouldn’t want me to be hurt as they are my friends and if you didn't like me, he wouldn’t set me up with you given that you have serious fuckboy tendencies. Well, it doesn’t really matter if I like you anyway cause you're not into long term shit." you answered his question with a sigh. "Ya know (Y/N), I only got into this fuckboy phase cause you rejected me once." Bakugou muttered. "Huh? When did I reject you? What are you talking about?" you asked, visibly confused. "Don't you remember that day at the end of third year? I took you out on a date to see that sappy ass movie together and you hugged me and friendzoned me?" Bakugou accused you. "That was a date?" you asked him with an incredulous expression. "Hah? You didn't realise that was a damned date?" Bakugou barked at you. "OFCOURSE I DIDN'T! YOU NEVER MENTIONED THAT IT WAS A DA..." Bakugou didn't let you complete that sentence as his lips were already on yours. After a kiss that took your breath away, he pulled away, leaving you completely flustered. "I'm not gonna date you if you're gonna fuck around." you stated, still out of breathe from the kiss. "Ofcourse I won't you dumbass! We are fucking official from now! Tf do you think I am?" Bakugou snapped at you? "Idk, you called yourself a dumbass a while back?" you teased him. "DIE!!!!" Bakugou barked at you to that.

"Well, I guess that worked?" Kirishima muttered as they were hiding in the park, watching Bakugou chase you with small explosions in his hands as you kept cackling with laughter, running from him. "Phase 2 never fails." Mina and Kaminari stated in unison with smug expressions as Kirishima looked back at them in disbelief.

#bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugou #bakugo fluff #bnha #bnha fanfiction #bnha x reader #bakugo katsuki #bakugo x reader #bakugou fanfiction #bakugo × reader #bakugou ? reader #bakugo ? reader #bakugou fluff #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki x reader #mha bakugou

[yeetzapizzas]

hiatus happenings 2: probably not the last post of this nature

basically, i didn’t meet my goal of coming out on new year’s due to continued fear of rejection and stuff. i’m working on that with my counselor currently, but i did get resources to transition. i just gotta suck it up and call them even though i’m pretty scared. but 2018 is a fresh start so hopefully i’ll make more progress this year! i’m going back to school in the fall to start college since i took a year off to kind of adjust to like i guess?? focus on myself? but i actually kind of miss school for once and i honestly never though i’d ever say something like that. 

(Summary on other major events, involves an abusive relationship so be warned)

at the beginning of december, i entered a relationship that i thought would go ok. but stupid me kept myself in the closet and it interfered with everything. i started dating this girl i went to high school with and she drastically changed over time. she got involved in an extremist church. like holy roller baptist stuff. racially charged, biblical law stuff. kinda like mike pence. 

she tried to convert me into her religion and it just kept getting more and more toxic as i avoided it. during this relationship i came to some important conclusions about myself. that i’m not religious. at all. i was raised in a church. but seeing first hand how religion can change someone into a bigot, i denounced it. finally, one night i got myself together and broke up with her and went on a detailed rant about all this and it got a bit heated to say the least. i never came out to her though because i didn’t feel like adding that extra drama in.

eventually, she went so far as to tell i’d burn in hell for not believing in the religion and her god. sadly, i didn’t have the guys to cut all contact with her then. i left her on read most of the time honestly and didn’t give a shit. but that all changed when the fire nation attacked she had the nerve to ask me a favor after literally telling me i’d burn in hell in our last conversation. so instead, in my usual passive-agressive fashion i just ignored her and replied 10 minutes later “hey, i changed the netflix password.”

basically i told her off again but in a more direct fashion than last time. basically, i was very upset at who she had become, etc. she tried to blame me for everything, because gas lighting. finally i said i was tired of her shit, and she had no idea who i really was and blocked her on everything. she has none of my contact info, i blocked her number but didn’t go to the extent of changing it. hopefully i won’t have to. i have no regrets at all, though. 

people change, and so did i. but she will never get to see my change and honestly, she doesn’t deserve to. i never thought i’d get in a relationship with a person who was like my dad. but i did. i learned from my mistake. big time. and it helped me come to grips with who i am to begin the new chapter in my life.

here’s to 2018, where i can finally start becoming who i always was!

#personal #cw: abuse #cw: dysphoria #cw: religion #sorry about my rambling ive been up all night

[im-a-femalerebel]

I wanted to talk about my ex girlfriend

l had a friend from Twitter for a while. When I was single (that means five months after I started to see her), I realized I had a lil’ crush on her. And, I knew it was not possible. She was polyamourous, I was monogamous, willing for a passionate relationship and a really close partner, at the opposite of her projets. But one night I told her. And we slept together, and kissed, and shared sweet words. And then she told me I could be like her, living different love stories at the same time. I read articles, watched videos about the subject, to understand how it works, that it really existed. I tried, for real. But then I cried, for a long time. It became even more difficult because a friend who was also a sexfriend was one of her lovers. There were jealousy, tensions, a lack of communication in all of this. We spent the week end all together, a few days after I began to date her, so It was really harsh. I think I have never been this anxious in my entire life. 

My girlfriend had a strange way to treat my depression. She told me she gave a name to my brain, so that she can insult my depression when I talk. It was like “shut up brain”. And it felt like “shut up you” and it was really toxic. She also told me my depression explained the fact I’m monogamous, meaning polyamory was for everyone. I felt really bad, it felt like I had to change something I could not control, and in a really violent way. I needed to be reassured.

Also, there were no rules. I knew all the private life of her lovers as she had no limit. I did not want to know so many things, first because when I was with her, I would like it to be our moment and also, because it was really intrusive and sometimes I even had the felling her lovers were my friends without even knowing them. Otherwise, she also had this thing to stay all day on her phone talking to her lovers, leaving me alone. When I explained this to her, she told me it was her way to function, no negociation possible.

There was also the fact the told me anything she did in bed with X or Y or whoever, that I did not want to know. And surprising, it was always heterosexual sex. She never spoke with me about lesbian sex (which was suppose to be our purpose as a lesbian couple, lol). She told me her libido was skyrocketting, and the also loved to feed this image online, whereas she did not tried anything with me. So, one day, I finally asked her “Is there a problem?”. And she got angry, and said I should not blame her on her libido, that is was oppressive, which was not at all my intentions.

She also changed plans whenever she liked. We were suppose to go at the Pride together, like our first lesbian couple activity, but I learned on Twitter she did something else with a friend who mentionned her in a tweet. Then I told her about this, and she replied “Oh sorry I wanted to tell you but I knew you would be angry”, which actually got me even more angry. Another time, one week after, she promised me to go to a birthday party of a friend, so that she could meet two of my friends. She was supposed to go with me and then stay at my home for two days. On the D day, she first avoided my question when I asked her if she was coming saying “she was tired” without answering. Then told me a few hours later “I’m leaving”. And I said “at your home?”. She said “Yes”. I said “I’ll miss you”. She did not reply until the evening, when she wrote me a long message telling me she was tired and it had nothing to do with me. It was not the fact that it was tired that got me upset this day, it was the fact she was telling it really late, as she could change my plans anytime she wanted. 

Then I posted a tweet the day after “I used to don’t understand people who don’t believe in love, now I’m starting to understand”. And she got angry and sent me a message “Glad to hear it’s over via Twitter”. Then I begin to tell her she was not there for me. She told me I was wrong, that it was the opposite. And then she broke up, repeating I was “out of the realities”. It took it as a nice reference to my depression. But, for real, I was lucid about this relationship, do not call me an idiot. 

Just after she left me, she posted on her public account on Twitter “Beware, people who do not question themselves, it smells”. It knew it was about me, obviously, and that people will ask about this, and know all of this, and I’d be alone again. Then I started to have an obsession about Twitter. I was checking everyday if our friends in common unfollowed me, or even blocked me. And unfortunately, it was happenning. I felt so bad. 

I had and still have a private account on Twitter, where I was only 30 close people so I could share my thoughts. After the break up, I felt really bad and posted some things about my feelings. I felt broke, not lovable, transparent, empty. 

But then, a friend in common who followed this account started to tell my ex about what I was posting, even exaggerating my words. I learned about this because I heard people were coming to talk to my ex to ask her what happenned. 

One day, she posted a really passive agressive tweet, which sounded like a critic of a tweet I posted fifteen minutes ago, so it was really strange. I panicked and posted “omg she is gonna put everyone against me”. Five seconds after, she called me on the phone. I did not respond, then I did five minutes later. She was crying. She was saying she did mistakes in our relationship, and I was, with my tweets, trying to put everybody against her (but wtf it was a private account with 30 people, they tweeted about me to 1500 people). Then we talked together again, it was quite peaceful. 

And one day, she blocked me from Facebook, the friend who told her about my tweets did, my ex’s lover did too. No explanation. 

I became close to her ex girlfriend, which was already a friend before all of this happenned. We shared our experience about her and found some common points in the relationships we had with her : a lack of communication, organization and a lot of information about the other lovers. I felt less alone. However, when my ex learned about my friendship with her ex, she got mad and told her I was a bad person, that I judge people on polyamory, I was toxic... My friend did not believe her and we are still really close friends now. 

But during all summer I thought about this story, and talked about it with my psychiatrist who told me she manipulated me, and I believe her. 

Then in September, I was talking with a friend on Twitter I have not met IRL yet, but we are close. She told me that after the break up my ex sent her a message to tell her I was toxic. I was really mad as it related to the fear of abandoning I went through all summer. I tweeted “I just learned my ex girlfriend told people we did not even met I was toxic, Idk when I have to call her out as a manipulative person”. 

A few days after, I connected to Twitter and lost fifty followers, then sixty, then one, and one, and one. I first did not understand anything at all. I saw a post in my timeline saying “we can not trust people about their virtual image, be careful”. And I pictured everything in thirty seconds.

I went on my second account, tapped my name, and saw “dangerous”, “toxic”, “ unfollow her”, “I didn’t know she was toxic, thanks”. I was having  phonecall with a friend while discovering all this, so I could not try to harm myself or whatever. There was a thread of tweets published on my ex’s lover account about my “toxic behaviour”. It was told I opressed my ex because I was monogamous and did not try to adapt. It was told I manipulated her because I reproached her to do not have sex for me, which was not true. His lover also put some arguments such as the fact I had suicidal thoughts and I was dangerous and the fact I sent him unwanted nudes, which is also false because we shared some at the same time. The other nudes I sent were to my ex when we were together, as we sexted sometimes. But she never told me she was uncomfortable and always pretended to like it, so I do not understand. 

Well, here you can see my long story. Maybe the worst I lived. Maybe the one I’m still going through now, discovering each day who blocked you like and Advent calendar. 

My mental health does not permitt me to explain about this in public on Twitter, as I am already really, really hurt. 

As I met my ex in the feminist sphere of Twitter, I do not go anymore to the IRL events nearby, I am too afraid to see her, or her friends, and hear them saying I am dangerous in public. 

here is the story of a bisexual girl who had her first lesbian relationship. It lasted one month, no more, but hurted me forever. 

#relationship #toxic people #toxic relatives #manipulation #lesbian #cyber harassment