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hiddleswiftt · 7 months

Note

I love your fics and I saw you wanted ideas so here I am. I thought maybe you could do a Taylor inspired fic for Laurie with Love Story maybe with like a ball or something?

ooohh! yes! I’ve been waiting on a laurie fic request for a while now!

maybe with another march sister reader??

(tumblr deleted my first draft so i have to re-write!)

LOVE STORY (INSPIRED BY THE TAYLOR SWIFT SONG “LOVE STORY”!)

laurie laurence x march sister (fem) reader!

description - you have been friends with laurie (along with your sisters) since his mother passed away. laurie was the lonely boy who was living with old mr laurence who lived opposite the march house, and ever since he started hanging around with you and your sisters, you’ve started to have feelings for him. six years later, you are travelling around europe with aunt march as her companion whilst you are studying and completing your acting classes. you and aunt march are invited to a ball in paris and someone in particular is on the list for you to dance with for the night! - i tried to make it similar to amy and laurie’s story but the reader wanting to be an actress rather than an artist like amy!

you’ve always loved laurie. always.

even when he had feelings for one of your older sisters josephine (or jo).

you’d be the one sitting aside, especially during your eldest sister meg’s wedding, while you watch jo and laurie dance. amy would reassure you that you’d be okay as you sit with her and beth (as she continued to struggle slightly from trying to get better from scarlet fever).

when beth got scarlet fever, laurie was always around for you. when you found out about it, jo and meg told you to stay with aunt march until beth is well again.

“i don’t want to say with aunt march! id rather catch scarlet fever than stay with her, the poodle and the parrot!” you’d wine as you put your head between the pillows of the couch while laurie would insist for you to stay with aunt march.

he was very persuasive, but in a kind way.

he wouldn’t tell you to do something if you didn’t want to. but this was serious. the spread of scarlet fever was serious. it wasn’t a joke anymore. you just about understood that.

laurie told you he’d come and see you, and you suggested for him to bring either the carriage or the phaeton, which he did, just to make you happy.

whenever laurie came to see you, you’d be dancing dramatically (as you would usually) wearing aunt march’s feathered things. you’d smile at him when you realise he’s been standing at the doorframe of the room watching you.

you’d show him things such as aunt march’s wedding ring (which you told him that she was too fat to wear anymore - he’d snigger at you quietly when you said this), the golden bracelet that was for the only child she ever had (until it died unfortunately…) or perhaps anything else you had found amongst aunt march’s house while she was napping.

you would show laurie the will you’ve written, since you thought you’d be the next to die to scarlet fever. laurie sat with you in confusion.

“from y/n m/n march, this is her will and testament for those that may die after her,” laurie read, “for my sister jo, i give her my..”

in this case the list went on.. and on..

laurie looked at you, “y/n.. you’re not going to die! you’re not even sick!” he tells you, trying to reassure you that you were going to be fine.

then you look across to him, and slump down next to him, “i know.. it’s just a precaution! i will some day.. we all do!” you tell him.

there’s a silence between the two of you. then you finally pluck up the confidence to ask laurie to write something else on your will.

“laurie? i have one more thing for you to add?” you ask him, “i want all my curls cut off to all the men who had loved me!”

you seem a little dramatic, but laurie laughs at you slightly and quickly scribbles it down on the will for you.

“if you want to look horrific in your coffin, y/n, go ahead!” laurie tells you, laughing as he finishes writing your comment on the will.

TIME SKIP -

it had been a year since and you had been travelling around europe with aunt march as her companion, while you completed and studied your acting classes.

you and aunt march were set to attend a ball in paris! you had changed a lot since you left home so aunt march suggested that you should start looking towards marriage now that you are properly of age now.

you had met a man named fred vaughn back a few years ago (he’s a friend of laurie’s) on the lake one summer. aunt march suggested for the two of you to marry, but you were unsure, and you thought that you wanted to make your own match.

you arrived at the ball venue in paris. you looked stunning. one of the best dressed probably..

as you entered the venue, you were given a card which included 6 men that wanted to dance with you for the evening.

you glanced at the names on the card briefly (except for the first - which you headed to first).

gregory lance - the first gentleman on the list. wants to dance “the saraband” with you. so you headed towards him for the dance.

as you quickly got through each dance, you finished your fifth finally. you said goodbye to david molesey - who was your fifth dancer, and looked down to your card again to find your sixth and last dance of the night.

you looked down to spot a familiar name on your card.

‘6. theodore laurence - lancers’

you smile and start to look for laurie, not realising that he was already staring at you from the doorframe of the room.

you smile at him and you decide to meet each other half way.

you hug him straight away, trying not to let you or laurie ruin your look of the night. “laurie! what are you doing here? i thought you were in london with your grandfather!” you said, smiling at him.

he smiles at you, completely in awe of you of how beautiful you look, “well.. i guess i am needed here just incase you need anything, y/n march!” he said, “and you look so beautiful! i almost didn’t recognise you!”

you blush a little and slap his arm softly, “yeah yeah.. what have you been up to, laurie?” you ask him, “anymore of the gambling and the drinking?”

he laughs slightly, “no.. no.. none of that recently, y/n!” he tells you, then you remember something that didn’t do laurie any good recently.

“im so sorry jo turned you down, laurie.. im so sorry.” you tell him, looking at him, making sure he’s okay.

laurie looks back up at you, “don’t worry.. im not..” he said to you, smiling at you and taking in the view of you, then he remembered that you both have a dance together, “miss march? may i have this dance?”

laurie takes your hand in his, leading you to the middle of the room to start the dance. you nod at him, “one often does at a ball, laurie laurence..” you tell him, giggling at him a little.

he smiles at you, as you both walk and start the dance. the dance has become more easier for you both.

you remember when you were younger, probably about five years ago, you and laurie were stood in the laurence house dancing. beth was playing the piano, meg was constantly flirting with mr brooke and jo and amy were giggling at you two while we continued to step on each others feet as you both danced.

oddly it was the same dance that were to start dancing at the ball just then. it was a familiar feeling that you hadn’t seen or talked of in a long while. the nostalgia rushed back to you both immediately.

it felt just right.

as the music and the dance stopped, there was a sense of something between you two.

you invited laurie to talk with aunt march and a few others. a lot of aunt march’s friends thought you and laurie were married!

you just shut your mouth and didn’t say much after that.

MINI TIME SKIP -

you decided to have a break and walk outside to get some air on the balcony. it was getting slightly too warm in the building so it was good to escape for a few minutes.

you didn’t notice laurie behind you, so it shocked you for a moment.

“y/n? are you alright?” he asked you, finally catching up with you and standing next to you on the balcony.

you smile up at him, “yes.. yes.. im fine.. i just needed some air..” you tell him.

you notice two boats on the ocean near to the venue, as you both stood on the balcony. the boats were close together. laurie caught you looking at them, and swiftly looked back at you to admire you.

“those boats are pretty close together.. as if they are on the same path..” you mumble to him.

laurie smiles and takes your hand in his. this gets you to look up at him. “y/n.. are we on the same path?” he asks you.

you suddenly look from the boats to laurie, who had now taken your hand in his. you looked into his eyes. you both knew exactly what you wanted.

“i guess we are, laurie…” you finally admit, as you start smiling at him.

you both stand and admire each other for a couple of seconds, then laurie begins to hold your waist, now leaning into you slowly.

as you both continue to stand on the balcony, you and laurie lean in together for a slow but passionate kiss.

you bring your hand to his cheek, and continue to kiss. the two of you felt alive at this point. more alive than you both have ever felt, ever.

you knew you should’ve told him how you felt years ago, although laurie was in love with jo at the time. gladly, you didn’t think that was the case anymore.

laurie loved you. and you only.

you loved laurie. and laurie only.

you both moved away from the kiss, laughing and sniggering still as if you were still children. you both knew that you weren’t children anymore, since time and your childhoods have gone so fast, and you both had nothing you could do to change that.

you were just happy in the moment. the moment you were continuously picturing for years. you never thought it would ever happen, but here you both were. in that moment together.

you notice something different about him that you didn’t see before.

“laurie. you grew out your hair!” you say, playing with it a little.

laurie laughs at you slightly, “i guess you could care for it?” he says, now looking at you.

you smile at him happily, “always, laurie… always!” you say, kissing his cheek.

suddenly someone with a letter on a tray walks to you and laurie. you pick it up swiftly and open it, making sure laurie stands by you though it, as you think the letter could be what you think it could be.

you read the letter. you were right.

you stand next to laurie and sob into his arms.

“it’s beth…” you say as you put your head into his chest, letting laurie hold you.

you let laurie read the letter. it’s from marmee, clarifying beth’s death.

you weren’t as close to beth as jo was to her. but you did have your fun times. especially that same moment when you, laurie and your sisters were in laurence house together, as beth played the piano while you and laurie would attempt to dance but instead you’d be treading on each others feet.

although you and beth weren’t as close as her and jo were, she still was your sister.

it was as if you planned out her death, as if you planned out your own with the will you wrote and told laurie about a few years ago.

MINI TIME SKIP -

it took you a couple of days to get through beth’s death. you were still in paris, you told marmee you’d come home as soon as possible.

you had a mix of feelings about what could be happening between you and laurie and thoughts of beth, and the fact that you weren’t there to support her when she was dying.

you stood on the balcony of the home you were staying in with aunt march. aunt march wasn’t doing so great herself either. she was falling ill now.

laurie came to see you that same day. he wanted to talk about the relationship you had but he was unsure whether you were okay to talk about it after hearing about beth’s passing.

“i keep remembering that will i wrote when beth had scarlet fever..” you remind laurie, as you both stand together.

“you bequeathed me a plaster horse, if i remember correctly.” laurie thought, as he looked at you.

“i had my death all planned out.. all rehearsed in my mind…” you say, trying not to cry, “i had beth’s all rehearsed and ready too… thought it would.. tear me open.. or burn me down like a house. but now im just frozen!”

laurie took your hand in his again. “ill come and see you everyday, y/n…” he says, admiring you but also making sure that you’re okay.

you look up at him, slowly twiddling your thumb with his, “promise me?” you ask.

he looks at you again, watching you twiddling your thumb with his, “yes.” laurie told you, now reaching into his pocket for something.

you wonder what he was looking for, so you decided to look out at the view from the castle balcony.

it took him a few seconds to find what he was looking for. he brought a black box from his pocket, and showed it to you.

you turned back to him and looked at the box. you were stunned.

“so.. y/n.. could we make it last forever?” he said, opening the box to reveal the engagement ring inside.

you were taken by surprise that laurie wants to marry you. you smile widely, and nod at him, letting him put the ring on your finger confirming your engagement.

MINI TIME SKIP -

you and laurie were on their way home from your long trip around europe with aunt march. aunt march had briefly found out about your engagement to laurie before passing out, and being taken home with aunt carrol and her daughter florence, who had been your other company before laurie arrived.

as soon as you arrived home, laurie helped you out of the carriage to find meg, marmee, father, amy, and jo (slowly) running out to greet you both.

marmee (with her good eye) noticed a ring on your finger. funnily enough, it wasn’t the same ring that laurie gave you a few days ago. it wasn’t the engagement ring.

you smiled down at the ring, and then looked back up at laurie.

“that’s not an engagement ring!” marmee says, realising something.

you and laurie smile at each other as you notice marmee admiring your ring.

“it’s a wedding ring!” marmee says, pulling you into a large hug and kissing you on the cheek, while father shakes laurie’s hand to congratulate us both, and to thank him for marrying you.

you smile at your mother again. “i cant quite get my glove over it!” you laugh, then moving to laurie to give your ‘husband’ a kiss on the cheek.

MINI TIME SKIP -

the hustle and bustle around the march house after yours and laurie’s return and the surprise of your marriage spread amongst the house. especially to mr laurence (laurie’s grandfather), who had told him to go abroad after jo turned him down.

you were happy. both of you were.

turns out that jo was falling in love with the professor she met at the boarding house in New York. she arrived home a week after yours and laurie’s return after being out in town and the professor was waiting for her.

you knew she was in love with him. jo knew you had always been in love with laurie.

you kindly persuaded jo to tell professor bhaer how she felt about him, and from soon after that, all your sisters and yourself were in love.

you all sat together, you and laurie at the piano as laurie played and you rested your head on his shoulder, meg and john with kitty and minnie, marmee and father and finally jo and bhaer.

it just fitted together so perfectly.

please don’t copy my work! <3

(let me know what you think of this fic by giving this post a like, follow and a comment!)

— h4uerkings

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hellsitesonlybookclub · 1 year

Text

Little Women, Louisa May Alcott

XVII.

LITTLE FAITHFUL.

For a week the amount of virtue in the old house would have supplied the neighborhood. It was really amazing, for every one seemed in a heavenly frame of mind, and self-denial was all the fashion. Relieved of their first anxiety about their father, the girls insensibly relaxed their praiseworthy efforts a little, and began to fall back into the old ways. They did not forget their motto, but hoping and keeping busy seemed to grow easier; and after such tremendous exertions, they felt that Endeavor deserved a holiday, and gave it a good many.

Jo caught a bad cold through neglect to cover the shorn head enough, and was ordered to stay at home till she was better, for Aunt March didn't like to hear people read with colds in their heads. Jo liked this, and after an energetic rummage from garret to cellar, subsided on the sofa to nurse her cold with arsenicum and books. Amy found that housework and art did not go well together, and returned to her mud pies. Meg went daily to her pupils, and sewed, or thought she did, at home, but much time was spent in writing long letters to her mother, or reading the Washington despatches over and over. Beth kept on, with only slight relapses into idleness or grieving. All the little duties were faithfully done each day, and many of her sisters' also, for they were forgetful, and the house seemed like a clock whose pendulum was gone a-visiting. When her heart got heavy with longings for mother or fears for father, she went away into a certain closet, hid her face in the folds of a certain dear old gown, and made her little moan and prayed her little prayer quietly by herself. Nobody knew what cheered her up after a sober fit, but every one felt how sweet and helpful Beth was, and fell into a way of going to her for comfort or advice in their small affairs.

217 All were unconscious that this experience was a test of character; and, when the first excitement was over, felt that they had done well, and deserved praise. So they did; but their mistake was in ceasing to do well, and they learned this lesson through much anxiety and regret.

"Meg, I wish you'd go and see the Hummels; you know mother told us not to forget them," said Beth, ten days after Mrs. March's departure.

"I'm too tired to go this afternoon," replied Meg, rocking comfortably as she sewed.

"Can't you, Jo?" asked Beth.

"Too stormy for me with my cold."

"I thought it was almost well."

"It's well enough for me to go out with Laurie, but not well enough to go to the Hummels'," said Jo, laughing, but looking a little ashamed of her inconsistency.

"Why don't you go yourself?" asked Meg.

"I have been every day, but the baby is sick, and I don't know what to do for it. Mrs. Hummel goes away to work, and Lottchen takes care of it; but it gets sicker and sicker, and I think you or Hannah ought to go."

Beth spoke earnestly, and Meg promised she would go to-morrow.

"Ask Hannah for some nice little mess, and take it round, Beth; the air will do you good," said Jo, adding apologetically, "I'd go, but I want to finish my writing."

"My head aches and I'm tired, so I thought may be some of you would go," said Beth.

"Amy will be in presently, and she will run down for us," suggested Meg.

"Well, I'll rest a little and wait for her."

So Beth lay down on the sofa, the others returned to their work, and the Hummels were forgotten. An hour passed: Amy did not come; Meg went to her room to try on a new dress; Jo was absorbed in her story, and Hannah was sound asleep before the kitchen fire, when Beth quietly put on her hood, filled her basket with odds and ends for the poor children, and went out into the chilly air, with a 218 heavy head, and a grieved look in her patient eyes. It was late when she came back, and no one saw her creep upstairs and shut herself into her mother's room. Half an hour after Jo went to "mother's closet" for something, and there found Beth sitting on the medicine chest, looking very grave, with red eyes, and a camphor-bottle in her hand.

"Christopher Columbus! What's the matter?" cried Jo, as Beth put out her hand as if to warn her off, and asked quickly,—

"You've had the scarlet fever, haven't you?"

"Years ago, when Meg did. Why?"

"Then I'll tell you. Oh, Jo, the baby's dead!"

"What baby?"

"Mrs. Hummel's; it died in my lap before she got home," cried Beth, with a sob.

219 "My poor dear, how dreadful for you! I ought to have gone," said Jo, taking her sister in her arms as she sat down in her mother's big chair, with a remorseful face.

"It wasn't dreadful, Jo, only so sad! I saw in a minute that it was sicker, but Lottchen said her mother had gone for a doctor, so I took baby and let Lotty rest. It seemed asleep, but all of a sudden it gave a little cry, and trembled, and then lay very still. I tried to warm its feet, and Lotty gave it some milk, but it didn't stir, and I knew it was dead."

"Don't cry, dear! What did you do?"

"I just sat and held it softly till Mrs. Hummel came with the doctor. He said it was dead, and looked at Heinrich and Minna, who have got sore throats. 'Scarlet fever, ma'am. Ought to have called me before,' he said crossly. Mrs. Hummel told him she was poor, and had tried to cure baby herself, but now it was too late, and she could only ask him to help the others, and trust to charity for his pay. He smiled then, and was kinder; but it was very sad, and I cried with them till he turned round, all of a sudden, and told me to go home and take belladonna right away, or I'd have the fever."

"No, you won't!" cried Jo, hugging her close, with a frightened look. "O Beth, if you should be sick I never could forgive myself! What shall we do?"

"Don't be frightened, I guess I shan't have it badly. I looked in mother's book, and saw that it begins with headache, sore throat, and queer feelings like mine, so I did take some belladonna, and I feel better," said Beth, laying her cold hands on her hot forehead, and trying to look well.

"If mother was only at home!" exclaimed Jo, seizing the book, and feeling that Washington was an immense way off. She read a page, looked at Beth, felt her head, peeped into her throat, and then said gravely; "You've been over the baby every day for more than a week, and among the others who are going to have it; so I'm afraid you are going to have it, Beth. I'll call Hannah, she knows all about sickness."

"Don't let Amy come; she never had it, and I should hate to give it to her. Can't you and Meg have it over again?" asked Beth, anxiously.

220 "I guess not; don't care if I do; serve me right, selfish pig, to let you go, and stay writing rubbish myself!" muttered Jo, as she went to consult Hannah.

The good soul was wide awake in a minute, and took the lead at once, assuring Jo that there was no need to worry; every one had scarlet fever, and, if rightly treated, nobody died,—all of which Jo believed, and felt much relieved as they went up to call Meg.

"Now I'll tell you what we'll do," said Hannah, when she had examined and questioned Beth; "we will have Dr. Bangs, just to take a look at you, dear, and see that we start right; then we'll send Amy off to Aunt March's, for a spell, to keep her out of harm's way, and one of you girls can stay at home and amuse Beth for a day or two."

"I shall stay, of course; I'm oldest," began Meg, looking anxious and self-reproachful.

"I shall, because it's my fault she is sick; I told mother I'd do the errands, and I haven't," said Jo decidedly.

"Which will you have, Beth? there ain't no need of but one," said Hannah.

"Jo, please;" and Beth leaned her head against her sister, with a contented look, which effectually settled that point.

"I'll go and tell Amy," said Meg, feeling a little hurt, yet rather relieved, on the whole, for she did not like nursing, and Jo did.

Amy rebelled outright, and passionately declared that she had rather have the fever than go to Aunt March. Meg reasoned, pleaded, and commanded: all in vain. Amy protested that she would not go; and Meg left her in despair, to ask Hannah what should be done. Before she came back, Laurie walked into the parlor to find Amy sobbing, with her head in the sofa-cushions. She told her story, expecting to be consoled; but Laurie only put his hands in his pockets and walked about the room, whistling softly, as he knit his brows in deep thought. Presently he sat down beside her, and said, in his most wheedlesome tone, "Now be a sensible little woman, and do as they say. No, don't cry, but hear what a jolly plan I've got. You go to Aunt March's, and I'll come and take you out every day, driving or walking, and we'll have capital times. Won't that be better than moping here?"

221

"I don't wish to be sent off as if I was in the way," began Amy, in an injured voice.

"Bless your heart, child, it's to keep you well. You don't want to be sick, do you?"

"No, I'm sure I don't; but I dare say I shall be, for I've been with Beth all the time."

"That's the very reason you ought to go away at once, so that you may escape it. Change of air and care will keep you well, I dare say; or, if it does not entirely, you will have the fever more lightly. I advise you to be off as soon as you can, for scarlet fever is no joke, miss."

"But it's dull at Aunt March's, and she is so cross," said Amy, looking rather frightened.

"It won't be dull with me popping in every day to tell you how Beth is, and take you out gallivanting. The old lady likes me, and I'll be as sweet as possible to her, so she won't peck at us, whatever we do."

222 "Will you take me out in the trotting wagon with Puck?"

"On my honor as a gentleman."

"And come every single day?"

"See if I don't."

"And bring me back the minute Beth is well?"

"The identical minute."

"And go to the theatre, truly?"

"A dozen theatres, if we may."

"Well—I guess—I will," said Amy slowly.

"Good girl! Call Meg, and tell her you'll give in," said Laurie, with an approving pat, which annoyed Amy more than the "giving in."

Meg and Jo came running down to behold the miracle which had been wrought; and Amy, feeling very precious and self-sacrificing, promised to go, if the doctor said Beth was going to be ill.

"How is the little dear?" asked Laurie; for Beth was his especial pet, and he felt more anxious about her than he liked to show.

"She is lying down on mother's bed, and feels better. The baby's death troubled her, but I dare say she has only got cold. Hannah says she thinks so; but she looks worried, and that makes me fidgety," answered Meg.

"What a trying world it is!" said Jo, rumpling up her hair in a fretful sort of way. "No sooner do we get out of one trouble than down comes another. There doesn't seem to be anything to hold on to when mother's gone; so I'm all at sea."

"Well, don't make a porcupine of yourself, it isn't becoming. Settle your wig, Jo, and tell me if I shall telegraph to your mother, or do anything?" asked Laurie, who never had been reconciled to the loss of his friend's one beauty.

"That is what troubles me," said Meg. "I think we ought to tell her if Beth is really ill, but Hannah says we mustn't, for mother can't leave father, and it will only make them anxious. Beth won't be sick long, and Hannah knows just what to do, and mother said we were to mind her, so I suppose we must, but it doesn't seem quite right to me."

"Hum, well, I can't say; suppose you ask grandfather after the doctor has been."

223 "We will. Jo, go and get Dr. Bangs at once," commanded Meg; "we can't decide anything till he has been."

"Stay where you are, Jo; I'm errand-boy to this establishment," said Laurie, taking up his cap.

"I'm afraid you are busy," began Meg.

"No, I've done my lessons for the day."

"Do you study in vacation time?" asked Jo.

"I follow the good example my neighbors set me," was Laurie's answer, as he swung himself out of the room.

"I have great hopes of my boy," observed Jo, watching him fly over the fence with an approving smile.

"He does very well—for a boy," was Meg's somewhat ungracious answer, for the subject did not interest her.

Dr. Bangs came, said Beth had symptoms of the fever, but thought she would have it lightly, though he looked sober over the Hummel story. Amy was ordered off at once, and provided with something to ward off danger, she departed in great state, with Jo and Laurie as escort.

Aunt March received them with her usual hospitality.

"What do you want now?" she asked, looking sharply over her spectacles, while the parrot, sitting on the back of her chair, called out,—

"Go away. No boys allowed here."

Laurie retired to the window, and Jo told her story.

"No more than I expected, if you are allowed to go poking about among poor folks. Amy can stay and make herself useful if she isn't sick, which I've no doubt she will be,—looks like it now. Don't cry, child, it worries me to hear people sniff."

Amy was on the point of crying, but Laurie slyly pulled the parrot's tail, which caused Polly to utter an astonished croak, and call out,—

"Bless my boots!" in such a funny way, that she laughed instead.

"What do you hear from your mother?" asked the old lady gruffly.

"Father is much better," replied Jo, trying to keep sober.

"Oh, is he? Well, that won't last long, I fancy; March never had any stamina," was the cheerful reply.

"Ha, ha! never say die, take a pinch of snuff, good by, good by!" 224 squalled Polly, dancing on her perch, and clawing at the old lady's cap as Laurie tweaked him in the rear.

"Hold your tongue, you disrespectful old bird! and, Jo, you'd better go at once; it isn't proper to be gadding about so late with a rattle-pated boy like—"

"Hold your tongue, you disrespectful old bird!" cried Polly, tumbling off the chair with a bounce, and running to peck the "rattle-pated" boy, who was shaking with laughter at the last speech.

"I don't think I can bear it, but I'll try," thought Amy, as she was left alone with Aunt March.

"Get along, you fright!" screamed Polly; and at that rude speech Amy could not restrain a sniff.

#hellsitesonlybookclub #bookblr #Little Women #Alcott

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joandfriedrich · 2 years

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I always felt sad about Amy's future, she gives up her art because she's not 'good' enough and no one tells her otherwise, no one tells her to put herself out there it's like no one even cared, and then she marries a rich man that wasn't interested in her at all until her sister rejected him and then she became a housewife who only did her art as a hobby. When you put it that way, there is just something so utterly depressing about her fate.

First I would recommend checking out the story behind the real-life Amy March, May Alcott Nieriker.https://open.spotify.com/episode/56x7YDg0n58U4Hm7Y6kqqw

When it comes to Laurie, he was never in love with Jo either. In the book Laurie wants Jo to be more of a Nanny to him. He was incredibly selfish, he took his privileged position as granted. He didn't have to worry about money. He didn't like work or school. Amy literally woke him up, and that started a process of self-discovery within Laurie and that self-discovery eventually led him to fall in love with Amy. This could not have been started by Jo, because Jo saw Laurie more as her child.

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Amy's art parallels Laurie's storyline. He realizes that "not everyone who liked music was meant to be great composers". Amy realizes that she has talent, but she is not a great artist, and what I mean by great is that her style probably did not fit the current art trends.

As an illustrator myself I can say that the artist themselves are most critical about their own art, but it is also true that, especially in the world of high art, there is always a level of elitism. In some ways, I see Amy's behaviour, as a reflection of its time. Louisa May Alcott herself, was often quite embarrassed when people talked about her works and she never stopped dreaming of writing "a masterpiece". She couldn't see Little Women as a masterpiece.

What Amy ends up doing is just as admirable. She decides to help young female students to get their careers going. This is something that May Alcott Nieriker also did. She wrote a book to encourage young female students. In Bhaer Academy Amy was in charge of the art department, or at least that was the impression I got reading "Jo's boys" so she never was "just a housewife". Amy also says in the very beginning that she is going to marry a rich man, and the only reason why Amy got to Europe to paint in the first place was thanks to aunt March, but especially during those times, if Amy did not have her aunt to support her financially, she could not have become an artist, as sad as it is, and even if a person does not make art for a living, but still makes art every day, I would still call that person an artist.

-Niina/ Little Women Channel

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And I would just like to add in my utter confusion and disbelief in this question. All I could think of was this gif:

Like, I'm sorry, but did we not read the same book? Sure it can sound depressing if it was actually written like that, but it isn't like that at all! I highly suggest you re-read (or maybe read, can't tell if you had actually read the book in the first place) and stop reading into the fandom's version of the story. You'll find a much better and happy story than something like Gerwig's version provided.

-mysoftboybensolo

#amy march #little women #answered asks

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littlewomenpodcast · 9 months

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Louisa May Alcott Wanted To Get Married

When Louisa was commissioned to write Little Woman in 1867, neither she nor her younger sister Mat, who was the model for Amy, were married, May did eventually marry a decade later, but she did not marry any of the real-life Laurie. Did. Louisa meant to keep things according to reality in part two since neither she nor May was married at the time.

Listen full Podcast episode

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The end of part one is left open. We can see that Louisa has part two in her mind, and she was a fast writer. She wrote part one in three months. Three months later it was published and she began to write part two. I would argue that Louisa was very open to the idea of giving both Amy and Jo love interests. Amy and Laurie do have interactions in the first part of Little Women, which is easy to see as foreshadowing, but there is in fact a great deal of foreshadowing, which suggests that Louisa planned to keep Jo a love interest as well. In Part one, there are multiple references to Germany. In the very first chapter of Little Women, Jo wishes for a copy of Undine and Sintram, as a Christmas present. Undine and Sintram is a book written by French German author Friedrich de La Motte Foque. This book appears again in the last Little Women book "Jo´s Boys".

#littlewomen #littlewomenpodcast #louisamayalcott #jomarch #friedrichbhaer #laurielawrence #amymarch #joandfriedrich #Youtube

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the-other-art-blog · 3 years

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I want read an AU where Jo can play match maker with Amy and Laurie.

#anyone?#make my day #why do people think Jo was angry?#had Beth not fallen sick she would have focused on getting those two together #actually she kind of did #she did suggested Laurie to write to Amy #so she kind of push him in that direction #she did give him the reason he needed to write to Amy #little women #amy march #amy x laurie #Laurie Laurence

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reciprocityfic · 3 years

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passing afternoons

title: passing afternoons fandom: little women pairing: theodore laurence x amy march rating: m summary: “did you have any dalliances after me?” she asks.

he blinks hard as his brain reels for a moment, as he struggles to comprehend what she’s saying. after her? there is no after her. there never will be.

then, he stops. thinks. she means...oh. oh.

she means after that time in the garden, in paris. when he’d first revealed his feelings for her, and she’d rejected him. left him standing there alone and feeling like an utter, hopeless idiot.

oh.

(laurie and amy spend a late summer afternoon talking about the past.)

author’s note: i've literally shipped laurie and amy since like fourth grade. so when i saw little women (2019) and found out it did my bbs justice, i basically cried. i've been meaning to write fic ever since, but alas, here we are almost a year later. i hope you enjoy it anyways.

i have another fic in the works that's longer and definitely more angsty, which i hope to post relatively soon. i also hope to write more fluff (also maybe smut???) for them in the coming months bc GOD i just love imagining these two together. in the meantime, i hope you enjoyed this!

xoxo, rebekah

passing afternoons

They enjoy being lazy after sex.

They’re not always afforded the opportunity, of course. At night, they tend to fall asleep rather quickly afterwards, exhausted and sated and tangled together. And the occasional forbidden interlude - when they’re some party or gathering wholly bland or pretentious and the two of them (sometimes tipsy, sometimes bored, always and perpetually desperate for each other) run off to some dark corner or isolated room where he lifts the skirt of her dress and the too-many layers underneath and uses his body to press hers against the wall as he sinks into her from behind and they pray their moans and the sounds of their bodies together won’t be heard - must be short and altogether swift, no time to dwell in the aura of the sensations and feelings between them.

But then, there are days when Grandfather is occupied with the business and the Marches are busy and they dismiss the servants. It’s just the two of them in their grand house with time that seems to stretch on and on. Sometimes they’ll make it a game of sorts, shamelessly flirt and tempt each other to see who will break first, but oftentimes they’ll share a look and a smile and then they’re off in a race to their horizontal surface of choice.

Today is one of those days, when they’ve nowhere to be, nothing to do, and are all alone. It’s an unusually hot day in late September, and when Amy had complained about the warmth, he’d suggested she take her blouse off. She’d raised an eyebrow and told him to go first, and then one thing led to another and now they’re naked and sore and satisfied, laying on their bed as the early afternoon sun shines in through their open windows.

He lays on top of the sheets on his back, head at the foot of the bed and hands on his stomach, staring up at the ceiling and trying to find imaginary patterns in swirling paint. She lays parallel to him, but leans against the headboard, her long blonde hair falling around her face as she sketches him. He hadn’t seen her take out the pad and pencil she keeps in the dresser near their bed, but he can hear the sound of graphite moving against paper as she draws. He grins as he imagines her face, lips pursed and brow furrowed, wide green eyes focused and the movement of her hand knowing nothing but purpose even with the most casual of sketches.

They do not touch and do not talk. Still, the intimacy of the situation - of being together and completely safe and comfortable with the person you love most in the world - is overwhelming. Its warmth cocoons him, and he feels his eyes getting heavy as he lies there, a breeze blowing in from the open window and caressing his skin.

“You had your many dalliances after Jo, yes?”

His eyes snap open when he hears her question, his stomach lurching slightly and his mood dampening.

He ran away to Europe and drowned himself in alcohol, drugs, and women after Jo broke his heart, and he admits this. Amy knows it, too. And it’s not that he’s ashamed of that period of time, exactly - while he wishes he had, indeed, bore it better, he finds himself sympathetic to the plight of people scorned by love, however misguided that love might be.

He just doesn’t often talk about it. Doesn’t like to. In his mind and in his heart, it is only Amy. Has always been, and always will be.

Amy doesn’t really like to talk about it, either. He finds her inquiry curious, but answers anyway.

“Yes,” he tells her, although the word comes out sounding more like a question than an answer.

He waits for her to explain her line of thought, but she simply hums to herself. He stares at the ceiling a moment longer, then leans up, resting his weight on his elbows.

She’s staring down at her drawing, her face just as he pictured it, pencil grasped between her lips as she swipes her thumb against the paper. He watches as she takes the pencil out of her mouth and starts at it again, and he watches her for nearly a minute before opening his mouth to speak.

She beats him to it, though.

“Did you have any dalliances after me?” she asks.

He blinks hard as his brain reels for a moment, as he struggles to comprehend what she’s saying. After her? There is no after her. There never will be.

Then, he stops. Thinks. She means...oh. Oh.

She means after that time in the garden, in Paris. When he’d first revealed his feelings for her, and she’d rejected him. Left him standing there alone and feeling like an utter, hopeless idiot.

Oh.

He shifts on the bed, drops his eyes from her face. He can feel his skin begin to flush from embarrassment.

They’ve never talked about this before.

Not that there’s much to talk about, he supposes. He still hesitates to tell her - not because he fears she’ll be angry with him, but because he doesn’t like to talk about it. If it were up to him, he would erase from his mind the memory of every woman he’d ever been with until only his wife remained.

But she’s asked, and he’ll be honest with her.

“One, I suppose,” he murmurs.

“You suppose?” she questions. She’s still staring down at her artwork, but her pencil doesn’t move.

“Sort of, yes,” he confirms.

She finally looks at him, her eyebrows pulled together and a frown on her face.

“How do you sort of have a dalliance?”

She looks genuinely confused, and he laughs lightly at the crease between her brows, sits up fully and reaches out to her. He cups her face and uses his thumb to rub at the wrinkle of skin.

“Shall I explain?” he asks her.

She nods.

“I...tried to be angry after you left. Just think - to be turned down by not just one, but two March girls!” he gasps playfully, and she snickers, pushing against his shoulder playfully before dropping her hand to run over the sparse hair on his chest.

“But?” she prompts.

"But I couldn’t make myself angry. Not at you. But I also knew I couldn’t just stay there in France and watch you and Fred Vaughn…”

He makes a noise in the back of his throat, and she rolls her eyes playfully.

“We’re speaking of all your affairs, and you want to tease about Fred?”

“It’s part of my story!” he insists with a wink, and she rolls her eyes again.

“Well, keep telling it.”

He smiles, and continues.

“I couldn’t stay, so I did what you told me to. I went to London, as you know. And when I first got there, there was a woman staying at the same hotel as I was. We got to talking one evening at dinner, and one thing…”

He trails off, feeling himself flush again.

“...led to another,” Amy finishes. “I understand. I don’t need the details.”

She’s frowning now, even though her fingers still run over his chest, and he despises it. He has half a mind to drop the subject, to kiss her lips and make her happy and forget life before, but he can’t.

“Wait, I’m not done.”

“Laurie, I don’t need to hear any more. You had your dalliance, I’m not upset, and we can stop - “

“I couldn’t do it,” he interrupts. “It didn’t work.”

She pulls back from him slightly, her eyes wide and curious. She looks down his body.

“You mean you couldn’t...?”

He follows her gaze, and then snorts.

“Not like that. It - it didn’t even get to that. Amy, my dear.”

He lifts her chin, and she gazes at him. He can tell she’s still confused.

“Every time I closed my eyes,” he explains, “I saw you - the face you made in the garden before you turned away and left. It broke my heart. It still breaks my heart. And when my eyes were open, all I could think about was how her skin wasn’t as soft and her hair wasn’t as fair and her eyes were brown instead of green and she just...wasn’t you.”

“But with Jo...”

“It was different with Jo. I could make Jo into anyone. I could always pick out the tiniest thing that reminded me of her, in any woman, and then pretend that woman was her. I couldn’t...do that with you. Or maybe I didn’t want to. In any case, being with that woman didn’t make me forget. She made me remember all the more. And I only kissed her for about a minute before I realized it was worthless.”

He stops and grabs one of her hands, brings it to his mouth so he can kiss her fingertips, before holding it over his heart.

“And that’s when I knew that this was different. You weren’t Jo, and I wasn’t going to be able to just...drink and fuck you away.”

She’d normally gasp and swat him playfully for his use of the coarse word, but now she stays silent and presses her hand more firmly against his chest.

“I was in love with you. Hopelessly and completely. And I realized that all I could do was stay in London and toil away and... pray that somehow you would change your mind.”

Then, everything had changed. Beth died, and then he knew he had to be with her. It didn’t matter if she despised him, or if Fred was there. He needed to be with her. But before that, he had been rather resigned to his fate - to work for his grandfather and forever pine after Amy March.

God had smiled upon him, though. And now, here he sits with his wife, Amy Laurence. Married, in love, and happy.

“So does that explain how one can have a single, sort-of dalliance?” he asks her.

But she stares at him, eyes shining, almost with tears.

“You were going to wait your whole life for me?” she whispers.

He smirks slightly, turning away from her and shrugging, somehow embarrassed. But she grabs his face, turns it back to her, and locks their gazes.

“What else would you have me do, my lady?”

“Oh, my lord,” she breathes, and kisses him deeply, until his toes curl and he can feel himself begin to harden once again. When she pulls away, they’re both panting. He wants to grab her, to gather her up in his arms again, but her pad and pencil remains between them.

He motions to the picture.

“Still working on that, Raphaella?”

“Maybe later,” she remarks, taking the paper and all but throwing it on the floor beside the bed. She pushes him back so he’s laying once again, and climbs on top of him, straddling his waist. “I have another idea how we can pass time this afternoon.”

She leans down and kisses his smiling mouth.

Yes, God had smiled upon him. Had given him back his love. And he’s married, in love, and happy.

Achingly happy.

#amy x laurie #laurie x amy #little women #little women 2019 #amy march #theodore laurence

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janesramblings · 3 years

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I’ve been scrolling though the Penderwicks posts (which are amazing by the way, I love this incredibly small fandom), and I love the parallels between Little Women and the Penderwicks, which lead to me think about the OG sisters and the LW parallels because I can’t help but talk about my favorite books all the time:

Rosalind:

Rosy, is, very obviously, Meg. She loves fine things and falls in love first and cares for all of her sisters. She’s smart and beautiful and ends up with the love of her life. She’s very family oriented and wants her own family, which is hinted by her looking at her ring finger when talking about Tommy to Batty in TPINS. She cares a lot about her family image as well, since she reminded Jane and Skye that they’d be representing their family in a new state in the third book. I can’t find anything to disagree with that comparison.

Skye:

Skye is again, very obviously, Joe. She loves a particular thing (science) that she devotes her life to. She also gets into arguments with basically… everyone, and she is brash and opinionated. She hates love, but she’s fiercely devoted to her sisters. She is the one who moves farthest away from the family, just like Joe. She has a male best friend that the doesn’t want to fall in love with (just like Joe and Laurie). She also goes from hating to adoring her youngest sister (like Joe and Amy), and I absolutely loved that parallel. So if Skye is a parallel to Joe, it makes sense that she marries someone other than Jeffery (although I’ve always thought of Skye as Aro)

Jane:

Based on the previous two, it’s very easy to think of Jane as Beth, but I never did. I’ve always thought of Jane as Amy. She can be immature (she thought Mrs. Tifton’s first husband was good and bad), like Amy. She also is also obsessed with romance (see: Dominic and the weird motorcycle gang guy from high school) and with being famous (she constantly dreams about having her name on a popular book). Amy is really misunderstood in my mind, she really just wants to be famous and fall in love, and for the first few books, that was Jane through and through (I understand her dislike of marriage in the fifth book but I still disagree with it). Again, if you consider this comparison, Jane and Jeffery would have been a couple, in parallel to Amy and Laurie, and I kind of really like this idea. Jane and Jeffery would be very compatible and they’d get along. They have similar temperaments and dreams and opinions. I also got a Jane-likes-Jeffery vibe from the second and third books, and of course, Jeffery wrote music for Jane. (Also, a musician and an artist!!! That’s Amy and Laurie through and through!!!) (and yes writing is an art).

Batty:

Thanks to process of elimination, Batty is Beth. This makes sense. Batty and Beth both love animals and are shy and love the piano. They also love their sisters a lot and prefer home to anywhere else. They have very few friends, but love them dearly and they are both closest with their parents. Of course, Batty doesn’t die (thank goodness) but she still gives strong Beth vibes (also TPIS had very dramatic Batty related plots). I never liked the fifth book suggesting that Batty and Jeffery would be a couple, especially since I created the idea of Batty and Keiko in my mind, so having Batty be single like Beth makes me happy.

#the penderwicks #random ramblings #rosalind penderwick #skye penderwick #jane penderwick #batty penderwick #parallels #lw

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lovelylaurie · 4 years

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Chronology - Part 3

Growing Up Laurie x (March) Reader Words: 3524 Request: @psychshawnjuleshanluke A series where each part follows reader and Laurie’s relationship over time. Part 1 | 2 | 3

Winter, long awaited, wasted no time in cloaking the world under a shroud of chill and ice. The boughs of sturdy oaks hung heavy under the weight of snow. The forests and fields, once so full of adventure, were now treacherous, impassable landscapes. But you were not without consolation. Books offered a welcome escape, and you frequently visited Mr. Laurence to borrow more. And Laurie was making good on his promise to write letters. The first came barely a week after he had left, and every one since was an incredible boost to your spirits. You responded to each and every one, no matter how short or inconsequential. And thus your lengthy correspondence grew to be an immense comfort and joy.

You sat, now, in the living room of your house. The fire crackled and sputtered happily, providing some heat to combat the cold winter night outside. Laurie’s most recent letter was tucked into a book beside you.

Dearest (y/n), How could you think I would spend Christmas anywhere but home? I may have some friendly acquaintances here, but I would never miss an opportunity to see you for their sake, and I still need to fulfill my promise to return at every chance I get. “The companions of our childhood always possess a certain power over our minds which hardly any later friend can obtain,” as Victor Frankenstein says. You would love it here, (y/n), there are so many libraries and bookstores and places to explore that I wish you were here with me to see them. And you will be. Soon, I hope, if you can come in the Spring as promised. But in the meantime, I have so many wonderful things to tell you next week. I will see you soon. Farewell and forever yours, Laurie

Around you sat your sisters, as Meg had come to visit, talking and chatting, and musing on what name she would choose for the baby, because she was now pregnant and we did not yet know that it would be twins. Though humbled by domestic life, Meg was as starry-eyed as ever about Mr. Brooke, “I’m just so excited for my first Christmas with John. And with a baby by next summer! Everything’s happened so fast, but I wouldn’t have it any other way,” she beamed blissfully. “I can’t wait for the ice skating and snowball fights and all the fun we’ll have,” said Jo. Beth, who was leaning against her, simply smiled. “I’m looking forward to drawing the snow, it’ll be great practice,” proclaimed Amy “What about you, (y/n)?” asked Jo, who was now looking at you expectantly. “Laurie,” you confessed. “We’ll have great fun, I can’t wait until he gets here.” “You and Laurie have grown very close…” Meg said, sounding awfully self-assured. “We’ve always been. He’s my closest friend and companion.” “Partner in crime, more like,” she interjected. You pretended not to hear her, “I loathe this separation.” Amy smiled playfully and teased, “Is that really all it is?” “Huh?” Jo leaned over to hit her, “No, Amy, don’t! Meg’s already gone off-” “I’m still here, Jo.” “-and I couldn’t bear to have any more of us drawn away,” she protested hotly. Everyone turned to look at you. “Well, I don’t really see what you’re all getting at. We’ve always been this way, Laurie and I.” “How do you feel about him, (y/n)?” Meg asked softly. Jo tried to reach over and hit her, too, but she was brushed off. You were beginning to feel quite oblivious, not clued into something that seemed so obvious to everyone else. But then, through all the compiled worry, the longing, aching for his presence, it dawned on you. The rush you feel when he looks at you, when he smiles, the flutter in your chest when he laughs, the flush of your cheeks when he grabs your hand. And when he kissed you… It seemed so obvious now, so clear, you were astonished that you hadn’t realized it before. Love. “Oh...” Meg looked pleased, “And she’s realized.” “Meg,” Jo whined, glaring at her sister, “how could you?” Their bickering faded as waves of realization washed over you and everything fell into place. In the midst of this cacophony, Beth leaned over, quietly and tenderly, and whispered to you with excitement twinkling in her eye, “You love him?” “Yes,” you breathed, with a smile forming at the corner of your lips.

The following morning, you were seated at the table, slowly picking through your breakfast with marked disinterest. Now more than ever you couldn’t wait for Laurie to arrive. Though holly and tinsel hung from everywhere, and Beth began to play Christmas carols throughout the day, it didn’t feel like the festivities could really start until he was here. But you had no idea when- Jo jumped up suddenly, “The Laurence’s carriage! It’s outside!” You sprang to your feet and ran to look. There it was, coming down the path. And in the window, you could just barely see, was Laurie. “It’s Laurie!” you shrieked as you threw on boots and a coat as fast as you could. Then you flew out of the house and down the path, barely stopping to close the door or notice the snow soaking the hem of your dress and toes of your socks. It didn’t matter. For him, it didn’t matter. “Laurie!” you called as the carriage came to a stop, “LAURIE!” The door burst open and he jumped out with a huge smile spread across his face. You engulfed him in an enormous hug, “Theodore Laurence, what took you so long?” His arms wrapped around you and his face nuzzled into your hair as you leaned your head on his shoulder, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Then his voice dropped and he held you tighter, “I have missed you so much, (y/n).” You remained in each other’s embrace until Mr. Laurence stepped out of the carriage as well, at which point you both pulled away and a blush crept onto your face. Laurie insisted that you get inside, after seeing that you had only a thin coat on, and no scarf, hat, or gloves. When you got to the house, he was embraced again by Jo and Marmee and everyone else. His return was as sweet as his departure was bitter. Your whole life suddenly seemed a little brighter, and you were surprised to find yourself not remotely worried about his leaving once again in only a few weeks. His presence now was so precious, so wonderful, it overshadowed all those concerns. One afternoon, to get away from the prying eyes of your sisters, you had suggested a walk, on a path well-trodden over the years that started close to your house, looped through the forest, and then doubled back on itself. It was comforting and calming to be alone with Laurie, surrounded by the sparkling snow and featureless white of a winter sky. The conversation was jovial and friendly, flitting between Laurie’s life at University and yours back home. “Out of all of us, I believe Meg has changed the most,” Laurie posited. “She’s the only one to have really changed at all.” He paused a while before continuing, “Do you ever think about the future, (y/n)?” There was a sudden change and drop in his tone that frightened you and ignited a feeling of disquietude deep in your mind. He sounded incredibly trepidatious, and you wondered, uneasily, at the cause. “I rather enjoy the here and now,” you responded shakily. “But we have so much to consider.” It was unlike Laurie to be this, so serious and deliberate. What was he hinting at? What was he trying to say? He had long held a special place in your heart, one you had recently put a name to. Meg’s future, marrying for love, was one you were just beginning to see for yourself. With Laurie. Possibly. But his hesitancy approaching this same subject was unsettling, and you began to think that he didn’t have the same plans. “I just want to enjoy a walk with you, Laurie, and not have to think about things that make me worried.” He was silent, and a nagging thought began to worm its way into your mind. Perhaps college had changed him during the past few months. Perhaps it had made him more realistic about his obligations and prospects. He couldn’t marry you. The crisp sound of snowy footfalls ceased as Laurie came to a stop beside you. Turning to face him, now a few steps ahead, you saw the way he seemed to lean ever so slightly more on one foot than the other. His hands were stuck in the pockets of his coat, unbuttoned despite the cold. “Can’t we talk, (y/n)?” He was somber, pleading, and incredibly tense. “Why?” it came out almost as a whisper, as a plea for him to stop and allow you to ignore it for a little while longer. “Why?” he repeated, “You know why.” Laurie’s face always had a special look when tense. His eyebrows didn’t knot, he didn’t frown, his expression suspended by a stoic serenity. He gazed at you, with eyes half-lidded, conveying an intense depth of emotion that pulled at the pit of your stomach. You shook your head. “No. No, Laurie, you’re being mean.” Something in him broke. “I know I’m not fit for high society. I’m not like Amy, I was never supposed to marry rich. And- and I just- you can’t, so-” you could only speak in fragments as your thoughts devolved. He took more steps towards you, “But (y/n), It’s always been us, it’s always been you and me.” “What?” He held out his arms, “You’re my whole future, you always have been. That’s why I’m doing this. Everything, all of it, is for you.” Whatever had broken in him fell apart as his voice cracked, “And I realize I’m not this great man, but… I figured you’d have me, (y/n).” That took your breath. “Oh, Laurie, of course-” you stumbled towards him and he pulled you in a longing embrace. In his arms, the full weight of your admission crashed down on you. He is your future, just as you are his. You thought he couldn’t have you, and he thought you wouldn’t, and the very idea of that sickened you. Because losing Laurie would be losing a part of your life, your soul. He felt so warm, so real, as he held you close. “I love you,” you whispered. A smile, a twinge of glee, played behind his eyes and at the corners of his lips. He held your cheek in his hand, “I have loved you ever since I’ve known you, (y/n).” Then he leaned down, catching your lips in a needful and tender kiss. You felt like you were about to explode, about to burst with emotion and passion. Whatever doubts, whatever fears and worries you had floated away as you melted into him. It was perfect.

Christmas day dawned quietly as the dim light cast sweeping shadows across the sleepy room. But any semblance of serenity was soon broken as your sisters awoke. First Amy, then Jo, and finally Beth. They rushed at you and pulled you out of bed with shrieks and giggles. Marmee peered in with a kind and maternal smile, “Merry Christmas, girls.” “Merry Christmas!” was the instant reply. Amy and Jo sprinted past her down the stairs as you and Beth shuffled slowly after them. Presents were piled modestly beneath the tree and the table was heaped with plenty of breakfast treats. But as the gifts were doled out and began to be unwrapped, you noticed something was missing… Amy exclaimed fervently, “Laurie’s presents this year are spectacular, what did you get, (y/n)? I’m dying to know.” He had given Meg some small domestic trinket, a picture frame which she immediately loved. Jo got some new pen nibs, because a recent writing frenzy had bent all of hers, as well as a dapper pocket watch. She had shrieked upon opening the box and now couldn’t stop pulling it out of her pocket every few minutes. Amy got a beautiful and tasteful pair of earrings that sparkled and glittered with her every movement. Beth got a new book of music, full of pieces she had somehow never learned before. It was quite a find. She flipped through the pages, running her fingers slowly across the bars and measures as the music played in her head. But for you… “Nothing.” They stared at you dumbly. “But we’ve agreed to meet later, so I’m sure he’s just waiting until then.” Sensing the tension, Beth proposed trying to play one of her new pieces, which everyone jumped up to hear. You were incredibly grateful. Touching her hand discreetly, you mouthed ‘thank you,’ which she understood and returned with a smile. You eventually lost track of time listening to Beth work out and piece together phrases and melodies. Laurie had promised to meet you at ten, but it was already five past and there was no sign of him, no figure approaching down the path, no footsteps in the snow outside. So, confused and concerned, you elected to go to the Laurence house yourself. Though the sun was by now shining clear and bright, the morning air was utterly devoid of heat. You would have waited outside, but the biting cold and your growing sense of unease drew you in. A servant showed you to the study, where you began to wait. You gazed off at the window, lost in anxious thought. Five minutes passed. And then ten. And fifteen. Finally, Laurie greeted you with an unexpected kiss on the cheek and a quiet, “Merry Christmas, (y/n).” “Laurie!” you jumped up in surprise and immediately hugged him. Oddly, nothing seemed wrong. He wasn’t distant or unhappy. He clutched you close, perhaps tighter than normal, and you pulled away quickly. “You have some explaining to do. First, no present. Meg gets the picture frame, Jo the pen nibs and watch, Amy the earrings, and Beth the music. Even Marmee gets a matching scarf and glove set, and Hannah got cinnamon and saffron spices. Oh! And you gave Father those books on philosophy. Then there was no sign of you, and I’ve been here waiting, and you’re incredibly late-” you stopped speaking because he was looking at you so intently, so lovingly, his eyes brimming with a passionate, but quiet, intensity. He spoke evenly and softly, “That’s because I’ve been talking with my grandfather. And if you’ll have me, then-” he reached into his pocket, but you hardly noticed because you were so breathlessly, stunningly speechless. What he was telling you, asking you, was everything you had hoped for and everything you could ever want. It wasn’t a pair of earrings or a book, it was a life and a future full of love and happiness. “I have this for you,” he pressed something small into your hand and you had to tear your eyes away from him to look at it. It was a ring, with a gold band, delicately filigreed, and an elegantly small, but still sparkling, diamond set into it. His smile glowed. Your heart practically beat through your chest. You could barely speak but still managed to murmur, “Yes. Yes, Laurie, of course.” He beamed, “You will, you’ll marry me?” “Yes!” you exclaimed, and he kissed you, passionately and fervently. His relief and elation were clear, unquestionable, as he gazed at you after pulling away. You kissed him again, and he kissed back feverishly. It was a heated, exhilarating moment, and you found it nigh impossible to tear your eyes off the brilliant, beautiful boy in front of you. As you left to tell your family, you found Mr. Laurence outside in the hall. Letting go of Laurie’s hand, you rushed to his grandfather, “Oh, Mr. Laurence, thank you! Thank you so much, I don’t have the words. I- I know Laurie can do so, so much better than me and that this is probably never what you had planned, but I can’t thank you enough.” Your eyes began to water, brimming with excitement and gratitude. “I think you know him as well as I do, Ms. March, if not better. He loves you, and no match could ever be better for him.” Laurie was practically bursting with emotion, a deep and affectionate ardor. You rejoined him and it warmed your heart to see the way he gazed at you. You could scarcely believe that you would get to spend the rest of your life with him. You were so young, so new to the real world. It was probably wiser to wait, until you were a little older, until Laurie graduated. But you couldn’t care less. You felt like running to your house, like running everywhere, anywhere, your limbs felt jittery, electrified. Instead, you walked slowly, with Laurie’s arm draped lovingly around your shoulders and a buoyant spring in his step. Somehow, you didn’t feel remotely cold. And neither did he, apparently, for as you approached the door, he leaned down and said softly, “I’ll wait out here.” You rushed through the door and burst into the front room excitedly. Meg looked up “(y/n)! You’re back!” Jo ran in from the kitchen, a pastry in hand, “What did you get?” You stumbled over your words, unable to express your complete and utter joy, “I- and Laurie-” you stopped with a dumb grin stuck on your face, glancing from your sisters to your parents and back again. Then Amy burst into a smile almost bigger than yours and shrieked before pointing at your hand and screaming, “A RING!!” commotion erupted and everyone rushed forward to look at it, talking over each other with questions and congratulations. Then finally Marmee found you. “I know I should have asked you first, as Meg did, but I couldn’t. This is just- it’s everything.” “I understand, (y/n), of course,” she smiled warmly and lovingly, pulling you into a comforting hug. As the chaos began to die down, Jo looked at you intently, “Where’s Laurie?” “He’s outside.” Meg gasped, “What, in the cold?!” They all rushed over and he could barely utter a ‘hello’ before he was pulled inside and everything erupted all over again. But once he could, the first thing Laurie did was turn to your father, “I’m sorry I didn’t ask you, Mr. March, I know I should have.” “You’re practically family, Laurie, this just puts it down on paper.” You were inseparable for the rest of the day. Laurie was unable to go just a few minutes without holding your hand or putting his arm around you. As twilight approached, early in the evening, you settled on the couch together. You sat sideways in his lap with a book in hand. He wrapped his arms around you and twirled your hair in his fingers, reading lazily over your shoulder. The weight of the day’s events hung heavy on your eyelids and pulled them down. Drifting off every once in a while, you leaned closer and closer to Laurie until your eyes opened and you found yourself resting against his chest. He chuckled as you awoke and mumbled an incoherent “Wha?” “You fell asleep.” “Oh,” you replaced your bookmark and set the book down. “Keep me talking, I want to stay awake a little while longer.” “Alright, then.” He cleared his throat. “How did you enjoy your Christmas present?” “It was perfect.” You gave him a small kiss before continuing, “I’m sorry I couldn’t get you anything.” You fidgeted with the fabric of your dress. It had been bugging you slightly, all day, that you had been unable to find or afford anything while he had literally proposed. “That’s nothing,” he murmured, “you’re all I need.” You reached out to hold his hand, “That’s sweet, Laurie.” “It’s true.” He tapped your hand with his thumb nervously, “I was worried you might say no.” “How come?” “We’re far too young, I’ve barely begun university, I’m being reckless and going too fast, I didn’t consult your parents.” His words didn’t sound entirely his own, as if he had been told them. “Is that what you discussed with your grandfather?” He nodded, and you could see his distinct look of blank, stoic tension begin to build in his now half-lidded eyes. “I’m not worried,” you assured him softly, leaning your head back down on his chest. He held you closer. “No?” His tone was incredibly earnest. “Why’s that?” You paused, for a while, to consider exactly how to express the depth of your feelings for him, your complete certainty that everything would be fine. “Laurie…” He grasped your hand. “You’re a part of me, of my very soul. I don’t think we could be apart if we tried.” He said nothing, allowing a dreamy silence to surround you. So entwined in his arms, you surrendered to the lull of sleep.

Taglist

@sadhwstudent

#fic #laurie #Laurie Laurence #theodore laurence #laurie little women #laurie little women 2019 #laurie x reader #theodore laurence x reader #laurie laurence x reader #laurie laurence little women #laurie laurence little women 2019 #little women #little women 2019 #Teddy Laurence #teddy little women #teddy x reader

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queenmercurys · 4 years

Text

and i didn’t like the ending (chapters 2-5)

Pairing(s): Jo & Laurie (Little Women 2019)

Summary: As soon as the post box came into view, she saw him there, reading the letter. And then, as if sensing her presence, he looked up, and Jo knew nothing would ever be the same again.

Word Count: 13,290

Warnings: None

(Updating more frequently on AO3, where you can find it under the same name)

It was already well past midnight, but Laurie could not bring himself to move. As soon as he and his new wife had made their way to his grandfather’s home, Laurie had excused himself to the library, half-heartedly pressing the keys on the piano, in the corner, his mind completely elsewhere.

He knew Amy was cross with him for not telling her what was wrong, for not being present whenever she tried to initiate a conversation. He could see the worry in her eyes. It was the same worry that had made her suggest a rushed wedding in Europe, rather than a properly planned one back in Concord. Laurie knew that she was afraid that he was still in love with Jo.

And he was. He always would be.

With a heavy sigh, Laurie reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the two pieces of paper that had been Jo’s letter to him. After she had rushed off, he had picked them up, unable to discard them. How could he, when this was the only proof he had that the love of his life felt the same for him? Even if it was too late, the very existence of the letter made it a bit easier for him to breathe. Easier, but also more difficult at the same time.

As he read through the letter again and again, he tried convincing himself that she did not love him. After all, she had said no such thing. She had made no indication of wanting him to propose again. He could, if he wanted, to see the letter as nothing more than a friend’s desperate attempt to keep him close. But the look on Jo’s face when he’d told her of his marriage, that could not be brushed off, no matter how much his anxiety-fueled brain tried to.

To what extent Jo’s feelings for him reached, he did not know. But they were there. Josephine March had feelings for him. It was what he had wanted all this time, and would have been perfectly capable of reciprocating even a month prior. But now, he was married to Amy.

Laurie had always been somewhat aware of Amy’s feelings for him. The girl had never made them to be much of a secret, after all. And somewhere along the lines, during his grief-stricken state in Europe, he had convinced himself that he loved her, too. She was lovely, intelligent, and kept him on his toes. But he had always known that she was not the love of his life. She had said as much during his initial attempt at propositioning the girl. She had expressed her worries about playing second fiddle to Jo. And to his credit, Laurie had never lied and denied it. And not a word about Jo was spoken since.

“Laurie?” He resisted the urge to pocket the letter as soon as he heard Amy’s voice. That would only make her suspicious. Instead, he placed his hand over the pieces, which were sitting on top of the piano. Laurie turned around to look at Amy, who looked ready for bed.

“Yes?”

“When are you coming to bed? It’s so late,” Amy stood in the doorway, looking far more unsure of herself than she had at the house earlier. She had no doubt wanted to put up a front for Jo. Even Laurie had, to an extent. He had wanted to come back a changed man, a happy man, to make sure his friend felt the least possible amount of guilt about what had transpired between them. But now that he knew Jo returned his feelings, his behavior felt more cruel than considerate.

“Soon,” Laurie turned back to the piano. “I’m not tired just yet.”

A silence fell between them, and they both knew what it was about. Amy was not stupid. She knew. But as Laurie expected, she did not bring it up. Much like how Laurie had not brought his own feelings up with Jo for such a long time. He had been afraid of what kind of response he’d get.

“Alright,” with that, his wife disappeared, no doubt heading back upstairs. Laurie stood still for a while, before turning his gaze to the window. And there it was, a light in the attic of the March house. The light that he had always looked for, every night he’d happened to pass by a window. A light that meant that Jo March was awake, and working away on one of her stories. Despite himself, and despite everything that had transpired, Laurie smiled. How could he not? It was Jo.

---

A few days passed, and Laurie kept his distance. Not only for Jo’s sake, but also his own. He did not know how he would even speak to her, knowing what he did now. The two never fought, not really , but they had both been so angry that day in the forest. Laurie was still angry. And he knew he was not doing a good job of hiding it.

He mostly snapped at his grandfather, who really did nothing wrong besides dare to speak to Laurie at a moment that was inconvenient for the young man. Amy even pointed this out to him, though Laurie quickly dismissed her concerns.

Try as he might, Laurie could not stay away from Jo for too long. When Amy mentioned to him that Jo had inherited Aunt March’s house, he knew he needed to see how she was doing. Laurie knew about Jo’s complicated relationship with her aunt, and he wanted to be there for her. He had always pushed his own feelings aside to make sure his best friend was alright, and that was what he had to do now, too.

He found Jo at what was now her house, for all intents and purposes. As he stepped inside the deserted mansion, his eyes immediately fell on Jo, who was circling around the room, seemingly deep in thought. Laurie cleared his throat, not wanting to be caught staring.

Jo looked up, and for a brief moment, looked happy to see him. For a split second, she looked like she always did when he used to surprise her. But then, she seemed to remember the reality of the situation, and straightened her posture, crossing her arms. Laurie chuckled bitterly, remaining far enough away to not make her uncomfortable.

“I heard about the house,” he said. “I wanted to see how you were.”

Jo’s shoulders relaxed ever so slightly, but she did not move closer. “I was surprised. I thought she hated me,” she admitted.

“I’m sure she loved you, in her own way,” Laurie met her gaze and smiled softly. How could someone not love her? As infuriating and stubborn as she was, Jo March was the most remarkable person Laurie had ever met.

“You did not come earlier with Amy,” Jo spoke, catching Laurie off guard with the topic of Amy. But he went along with it.

“No.”

“Nor have you been at the house.”

“No,” Laurie wasn’t sure where she was going with this.

“So, I suppose your suggestion of us being friends was just a lie, then?” there was that same aggression in Jo’s voice that had been there during their last interaction. Laurie was taken aback. He felt that, if anyone, he had a right to be upset. Jo had months and months to express her feelings, and she never did. This was not on him.

Or, that was what he kept telling himself.

“Jo,” Laurie took a few steps closer, noting that Jo was not moving away. It was a good sign, at least. However angry she was, she was not yet ready to bite his head off. Progress. “It was not a lie.”

“Forgive me for my assumption, Teddy, but you avoiding me does not sound like the most friendly thing to do.”

Laurie was starting to lose his temper. He was not the villain here. “I’m sorry, Jo, did I miss a moment when you showed up at my grandfather’s house, looking for me?” He raised his eyebrows.

“No.”

“And why not?”

“You know why,” something about the way Jo said it reminded Laurie of his own words to Amy, not too long ago. Why had he said anything? If he had kept his thoughts to himself, if he had not allowed his loneliness to send him into Amy’s arms, everything could be different now.

“Because Amy’s there?”

“Because you and Amy are there. Together,” Jo shrugged, leaning against the wall. “It’s too odd.”

Laurie scoffed. He turned back, about to walk away. And then, he glanced back at her, at the infuriating woman he loved beyond all reason, and spoke: “You know what is odd to me ?”

“What?” there was that accusatory tone in Jo’s voice once more.

“You writing me a letter, confessing your deep feelings after turning me down in the most cold, callous way you possibly could have.” Laurie knew he was exaggerating. Even at the time, he had known that Jo felt misery over having to reject him. But his hurt did not give way to reason. It rarely did. “You told me! You told me that you could never say yes to me. You told me that you did not love me.”

Jo opened her mouth to speak, but Laurie continued, stepping closer as he did:

“You gave me no reason whatsoever to believe that you felt anything. You broke my heart, Jo,” he felt bad for saying it as soon as the words left his lips, as he could see the toll they were taking on Jo. But it had to be said. “And now , you fault me for moving on.”

Jo looked away, biting her bottom lip. The tension between them was growing, and it was becoming unbearable.

“If you had asked me to wait, I would have waited,” Laurie continued, his tone calmer, but his words no less potent. “You did not tell me maybe, or later. You said no. I took your words for what they were. And now, you blame me.”

The girl moved away, circling around him, fiddling with her hands to avoid his gaze as she made her way to the door. “I should be on my way. I promised I would help Marmee with dinner.”

Laurie was not the least bit surprised. Jo did always prefer to run away from her feelings than confront them. Instead of arguing, he decided to be the bigger man and change the subject: “You’re working on a piece of writing, aren’t you?”

Jo looked back at him, her guard lowered once more. “How did you know?”

“The light, up in the attic,” Laurie replied, barely more than a whisper.

Jo just smiled. “You and Amy should join us for dinner tonight.”

Laurie’s knee-jerk reaction was to refuse, but Jo continued before he could do so:

“She will grow suspicious if you do not.”

Laurie could hardly argue with that, so, he merely nodded, watching Jo walk away from her once more. As he stood in the house, he was left to wonder whether any of his words had even reached the stubborn girl. And even if they had, did they matter?

---

Laurie had never considered himself to be a very jealous man. He knew his worth, and he had no illusions about his relationships. And yet, watching Jo interact with the man called Friedrich Bhaer was slowly eating him alive.

Amy, Laurie and his grandfather had shown up to the March house to find this new man standing in the doorway, and to Laurie’s disgust, no one could take their eyes off of him. Jo included. It had taken multiple attempts, but Laurie had finally found out that the man was an acquaintance of Jo’s from New York. The revelation had not eased Laurie’s mind whatsoever, as several scenarios started forming in his head. He and Jo must have had so much in common. Perhaps they were already an item. Perhaps Jo’s letter to Laurie had just been a back-up plan, and this Mr. Bhaer was the man she truly wanted to be with.

All of these anxieties made it impossible for Laurie to focus on dinner, so he spent the entire evening simply sitting quietly, occasionally answering questions either Amy or Marmee threw his way. Jo, on the other hand, avoided his stare the entire night, focusing on Friedrich or her family. It infuriated Laurie, even though he knew he had no right to be furious. He was a married man, and Jo was free to do as she pleased. But was the girl truly so fickle that she would now cast aside her feelings for Laurie in favor of this complete and utter bore of a man?

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Laurie knew he was being biased, but he truly did consider Friedrich Bhaer to be one of the least interesting people he’d ever met. Yes, he was handsome enough, as Hannah liked to point out, but he was stoic, quiet and very literal. He was just about the last man Laurie had ever pictured Jo ending up with. Even when he had dared himself to picture her with someone other than himself, it had never been with a man like this.

Finally, the time came for Friedrich to say his farewells, and Laurie stayed back, watching with a certain sense of self-destruction as the man kissed Jo’s cheek before departing. But, what came after hurt Laurie perhaps even more so.

As soon as the door had closed, Jo had been met with an utter silence. Laurie looked around, wondering what exactly he had missed.

“What?” Jo spoke his thoughts into existence.

“Jo, you love him!�� Amy shrieked. It took everything Laurie had in him to not snort out loud. If this was Jo March in love, then he did not know his childhood best friend at all.

“No, I don’t,” Jo said, laughing nervously. She looked between everyone, who had started practically shouting in chorus, arguing with her. To everyone, it was obvious that Jo was madly in love with Friedrich, and that he had wanted her to say as much. This was as clear as day. To everyone, that is, but Jo and Laurie.

Laurie met Jo’s gaze, and smiled knowingly. A sense of calm washed over him as he saw the look on her face. She was not in love with Friedrich. And he had a feeling that the only reason Amy was suggesting it in such aggressive terms was because his wife wanted it to be true. But wanting it did not make it so.

At Amy’s suggestion that Jo needed to rush after the man, to stop him from leaving and moving to California, Jo shook her head and walked past them. “I don’t understand why you won’t listen to me! I don’t love him. I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear!” with that, she rushed off, no doubt taking the back entrance out of the house.

Amy looked at Laurie, and he only shrugged. His wife looked positively crushed. Laurie wanted to be hurt at how much she seemed to distrust him - enough to try to shove a man down her sister’s throat to keep her away from Laurie. But, truly, could he blame her?

It took a few moments for the situation to dissolve, but one by one, everyone left the foyer, leaving Laurie standing there by the staircase. Amy had decided to go back to Meg’s with her, no doubt wanting a moment away from Laurie after the sour mood he had been in the entire day, all because of Friedrich. He had not exactly been very subtle. He wished that he could hide his feelings better, but when one felt as strongly as Laurie did, it was as difficult as trying not to breathe.

---

Laurie found Jo standing outside, staring out towards the forest. It was raining, but she did not seem to care. He walked over with some hesitance, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around the girl’s shoulders, making her jump ever so slightly at the contact.

“Teddy,” Jo chuckled, but tugged the fabric closer to her nonetheless. “What difference do you think another piece of wet cloth is going to make?”

Laurie just smiled, standing by her side, looking at the drenched scenery. He wondered how best to go about expressing how very grateful and relieved he felt that Jo had not returned Bhaer’s feelings. How to be eloquent about such a nasty subject?

“So, not him, then?” he finally spoke, not sure if she could even hear him due to the rain.

Jo glanced at him, but Laurie kept his eyes on the horizon, perhaps too afraid to meet her icy blue eyes. “Not him,” she agreed. “It never has been.”

“He seemed a fine enough fellow, I suppose,” Laurie shrugged. “Intelligent, with a fondness for books.”

“And that is all that you think I want in life, then, Teddy? An intelligent man who loves books?”

“I do not think you want anyone at all, to be quite honest with you, Jo,” he laughed softly, finally glancing at her. With her rain-drenched hair, and the clothes clinging to her figure… she looked more beautiful than she ever had before. It was a special kind of torture, to be around her, knowing what he knew, and being unable to do anything about it.

“You’re wrong,” was her response, but Laurie had turned away once more. He would not look at her now, because if he did, he would not be able to resist the urge to kiss her. She was toying with his heart, this time absolutely knowingly.

He felt her fingers brush against his hand, and glanced down, noticing that she was looking at the ring on his middle finger. The one he had given to her. The ring that had once rested on his wedding finger, but had since been replaced by his actual wedding ring. “You still wear it.”

“You gave it to me, Jo. How could I not?”

Without warning, Jo grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him in for a hug, clinging onto him tighter than she ever had before. Laurie held her back, his arms wrapping around her upper back, feeling her shiver against his body because of the coldness.

He heard her cry, and his heart broke a little bit. He did not know why she was crying, but he did not have the courage to ask. He only held her closer, the two clinging to each other until, finally, it became too cold to stay outside. The old friends parted way at the door, Laurie making his way back home, while Jo retreated to her attic. Nothing was resolved, but at least Jo was not engaged. With that selfish thought, Laurie could sleep a bit easier.

---

Had she been asked, Jo would never have classified Amy as the observant type. She still remembered her sister as the loudmouth, foul-tempered, selfish little girl she had been in their childhood years. Of course, she loved Amy, she was her sister, after all. But the two had always clashed, and were destined to do so for the rest of their lives. Not all temperaments mixed, and Jo had come to terms with that.

But the Amy that had come back from Europe was not the same as the one who had left her. Much like Laurie, Amy had matured into a new version of herself, a version Jo was not sure she recognized at all. This Amy was more quiet, more introspective, more prone to speaking out about things Jo had never expected her little sister to take an interest in. Literature, politics, and the practicality of marriage.

Nothing had made this more clear for Jo than when her sister had joined her in the attic, interrupting the writer hard at work. Jo had intentionally been keeping her distance from Amy, and had not been hoping to stop anytime soon. Especially after the stunt she’d pulled with Friedrich.

“Jo, may I speak to you?” Amy took a seat on the sofa, clearly expecting Jo to join her, but the older sister remained where she was, hunched over her writing desk.

“Make it quick, I’m in the middle of an important scene,” Jo lied. She had not actually managed to scribble down a coherent sentence for the past few hours. But anything to avoid Amy’s company…

“I’m sorry if I offended you, the other day,” Amy surprised Jo, and the girl actually turned around, frowning. Usually, Amy’s arm had to be twisted to make her willing to apologize for anything.

“Whatever do you mean?”

“With the gentleman who came by. Friedrich,” Amy explained. “I suppose I shouldn’t have pushed you the way I did.”

Jo sighed. She didn’t want to talk about her love life, and if she did, Amy would be the very last person she’d want to have that conversation with. “You misunderstood. In the future, I would prefer if you kept your nose out of my affairs.”

Perhaps she was being too harsh, but Amy of all people should know that pushing Jo was not the wisest thing to do. Especially when it came to matters of the heart.

“I thought that you cared for him.”

“You claimed that I loved him”, Jo turned around fully, shrugging. “Where did that come from?”

“I told you! I thought that you did.”

Jo turned back around. “You don’t know the first thing about what I feel.”

“Don’t I?” something about the way Amy spoke made Jo pause. Had she given herself away, somehow? Had Laurie said something? Surely Amy did not know about the letter.

“If there’s something you wish to say to me, then say it,” Jo said, her eyes still on her empty page. “You’ve never been one to mince words.”

“Fine,” Amy sighed. She stood up, joining Jo by her desk, looking surprisingly nervous. “I think you are angry at me.”

“I told you, it’s fine, you misunderstood-”

“Not for Friedrich!” Amy snapped. “For Laurie.”

Jo shook her head, suddenly feeling the intense need to leave the room. “I told you, I wasn’t angry at you.”

“You were lying. Jo, I swear, when Laurie and I… I didn’t know. I thought that you did not care for him. I truly did,” Amy said, speaking in that fast, rambly pace of hers that she used whenever she was nervous beyond belief. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“Amy,” Jo closed her eyes. “Stop it. I don’t want to speak on this.”

“Well, I do!” Amy grabbed Jo’s papers, holding them above her head. “And you’re not going to avoid me any longer. We will talk about this!”

Jo took a breath, standing up and grabbing the papers, glaring down at her sister. “If you truly respected my feelings, you would believe me, and let me be. I know that in your own, little fantasy land, the only opinion that matters is yours , but this is the real world, and I am entitled to my privacy.”

Amy stared, tears forming in her eyes. “I don’t want us to be like we used to be, Jo. Beth wouldn’t want us to fight.”

“I don’t want to fight!” Jo tossed her papers to the floor, taking a breath once more, trying to remember to keep her temper. Why did Amy always manage to push her buttons like this?

“You said that you were not angry with me,” Amy whispered, and for a moment she looked 12 once more, completely helpless when faced with her sister’s wrath.

“You could have married anyone,” Jo finally said, her voice still shaking with anger. “ Anyone . And you chose Teddy.” She almost said my Teddy, but stopped herself at the last second. She could not give her true feelings away.

“I had loved him for years, Jo. Years! All the while you two were gallivanting around town, all the while he was pining after you - and you never cared! All that time, I was in love with him, waiting for him to see me for who I really was,” Amy explained, her voice shaking, too, but more out of sadness and anxiety than anger.

“And how very convenient, don’t you think? That the one man you decided to fall in love with is the one man who ever harbored feelings for me?” Jo spat out.

“Oh, so, you think that the only reason I ever loved Laurie is because of you ?” Amy scoffed. “You’ve got some nerve. Laurie is wonderful in his own right, and that has nothing to do with you.”

“I know he’s wonderful. He’s my best friend.”

“Best friend? You two have barely talked since we came back”, Amy snapped. “I think you’re clinging onto a past that’s never going to come back.”

“And I think you’re being delusional if you think my anger is unjustified.”

“I never said it was. I only asked you to be honest with me,” Amy said, looking and sounding defeated. “But I see that you’re still insistent on remaining a child,” she headed for the stairs, pausing. “Jo?”

“What?!”

“You rejected him. Remember that. You had your time, and you turned him down. Don’t fault me for wanting what you did not,” with that, Amy walked down, leaving Jo in a state of pure anger.

---

After that, Jo began spending a surprising amount of time at Aunt March’s old house. It was a way to have some alone time, and a way to make sure she would not run into Amy or Laurie. She knew she was being childish, but she had to protect herself. Seeing Amy and Laurie together had been difficult from the moment they had returned, but somehow it had become even harder after Friedrich, and after her clash with Amy.

Jo had held a certain affection for Friedrich and the life he represented, but she had not been in love with him. Not enough to follow him into California, and certainly not enough to ask him to stay. She barely knew the man, and her affections were not ones that she gave out with ease. Contrary to what Laurie had once said, Jo was beginning to doubt whether loving someone truly was her way. Twice, she’d been offered the opportunity for what the society deemed as “happiness” for people like her, and she had turned it down both times.

These were the thoughts that occupied Jo’s mind as she spent her days in the house, mostly sitting on the floor, or leaning against a wall. The house was still unfurnished, and as Jo still had not quite figured out what she wanted to do with the house, it would have to remain as such for a bit longer.

Even though summer was on the way, the nights were still relatively cold, so on most nights, Jo ended up lighting the fireplace to give herself some semblance of warmth and comfort. Of course, Marmee had stopped by with blankets, food, and whatever else Jo might need, but thankfully, she had not asked why her daughter insisted on staying in the house. Jo had a feeling she already knew.

It had been five days of complete solitude for Jo when her isolation was finally broken by a soft knock on the front door. Jo was curled up on the floor, under the blankets, writing away in front of the warmth and light of the fireplace. She had no intention of moving. “Come in.” Perhaps it was just Marmee, on her way with another care package of some sort.

But instead, it was Laurie. Jo hated the way her heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. Ever since her discussion with Amy, she had felt even more guilty about her feelings. Amy clearly loved Laurie very much, so what was Jo to do? The only reasonable thing she could do was leave, let the two of them be happy together. But it seemed like Laurie was not letting her.

“So, you are alive,” Laurie smiled, closing the door behind him, shrugging off his coat and sitting down next to Jo, not even asking if he was allowed. The familiarity between them was there, but not in the way it had been before. Jo had never felt this tension between them before.

“I made no attempt to hide my location. I just thought I’d be less likely to be disturbed here,” Jo explained, eyeing her friend. Something about the way the light from the fireplace was dancing around his face was making him look almost ethereal. She had always seen his beauty, but now she was unable to avoid it. Everything about him, from his sharp features to his soft, green eyes, from his dark curls to his nimble fingers, everything seemed appealing to Jo. And she felt very ashamed of it.

“Yes, but I think running across town does give the impression that you do not wish to be found,” Laurie leaned back, balancing himself on his elbows as he glanced at her. “Amy told me about the fight.”

“Oh, I’m sure that she did,” Jo muttered, putting her papers away. She couldn’t focus now, anyway. “I won’t waste my time trying to defend myself.”

“You gave her the impression that you’re jealous, you know.”

Jo rolled her eyes, standing up. “I’m so tired, Teddy. You know how I feel. Just let me be,” she was about to walk away when Laurie grabbed her by the ankle, but not standing up himself. His touch on her leg burned, and it was the most pleasant kind of burn imaginable.

“Don’t run away. Let’s just talk.”

It was Teddy, after all, and Jo so hated disappointing him. So, she shook her leg to get him to release her, and sat back down, wrapping the blankets around herself once more. “What?”

“You say I know how you feel...” Laurie whispered, and Jo couldn’t help but notice the way he was playing around with the very ring she had given to him years ago. “But I don’t. Not really,” he looked up and their eyes met, and suddenly words were just too heavy for Jo. She could say nothing, because nothing would be enough. Nothing would make this right.

“Yes, you do. You read the letter.”

“Yes, the letter,” Laurie sat up properly, crossing his legs, turned towards her. Their proximity was something Jo was very much aware of, but she made no attempt to move. How could she? “Why did you write it?”

Jo sighed. “Teddy,” she shook her head. “I said everything I wanted to say in that letter.”

“It was no great admission of affection,” Laurie argued. “Perhaps you simply did not want to lose my friendship, so you convinced yourself that marrying me would not be so bad. Perhaps marrying me would simply have been the necessary evil.”

Jo was insulted by his words, but deep down, she could not really blame him. She had worded the letter in a way that left much for interpretation. “Do I strike you as the type of person to settle, for anything?”

Laurie smiled, but he did not look entirely convinced. “Oh, Jo.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” Laurie shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he turned back to the fire. “I understand.”

“You clearly don’t, Teddy. Whatever it is that you’re cooking up in that pretty little head of yours, you better say it”, Jo snapped. She was done with misunderstandings and missed opportunities. If he wanted to talk, they would talk, and be done with it.

“Even now, you won’t say it,” Laurie simply explained. “I suppose I cannot blame you.”

“Teddy-”

“I just want to know,” Laurie interrupted. “Back then, all those years ago. You truly never loved me? What you said that say, when I proposed, that was all true?”

Jo didn’t know what would be the kinder thing to say. She knew she did not want to hurt Laurie any more than she already had, but she felt that whatever she said would only result in more pain. So, she spoke the truth: “I don’t know. You caught me off guard,” she explained. It was a weak excuse, but it was true. She still remembered the shock of it all, the dread she’d felt when she realized nothing would be the same ever again.

“I refuse to believe you never saw it, that you never knew how I felt,” Laurie argued. “You had to have known.”

“Oh, Teddy. If I did, I certainly did not expect a proposal. Nor did I want one. I was so young, so full of drive and passion.”

“And marrying me would have taken the drive and passion out of you? You’re ridiculous, Jo”, Laurie said, his voice a bit sharper. Jo once again noted how much the man had changed. The Teddy she had once known would never have snapped at her like this. “I would never have stopped you from being exactly who you wanted to be.”

“I know that,” Jo whispered. “But even so, I was not ready.” She looked at Laurie, and frowned as she saw that he looked no less miserable than he had before her lackluster explanation. She felt that with every word she said, she was only making everything worse.

A part of her just wanted to come right out and say it: say that she was in love with Laurie, and that she wanted to be with him. But that would be selfish, and it would only cause more pain in the long run. Why was it that Jo was still the one trying to protect both of their feelings when Laurie just preferred to jump head first?

“And anyway, you said it yourself. We would have killed each other,” she tried, not even believing her words as she said them.

“Well, Jo, I was lying when I said that.” Laurie stood up, letting out a sigh as he made his way towards the door once more. “I don’t know why I came here. My own stupidity amazes me sometimes.”

“Teddy!” Jo groaned in frustration, standing up and following him out the door and into the night. She caught up with him quickly enough, grabbing onto his arm. “What do you want me to say? What do you want?!”

“I don’t know!” Laurie snapped, pulling his arm back. Even in the dark, Jo could see the anger on his face. “I know… I know it’s pointless. I know it’s too late. But I can’t stay away from you, Jo. Try as I might, I can’t .”

Jo wanted to kiss him. For a fraction of a second, she almost did. The urge was overwhelming her unlike it ever had before, but she stopped herself. She could not ruin this. She could not cause her sister pain, no matter how much a part of her hated Amy for what she’d done.

“Maybe I ought to leave, then. Go back to New York.”

“I don’t want you to go,” Laurie whispered.

“What do you want, then? Stop acting like a child, Teddy, and tell me!” She should not have asked, because what followed was a deafening silence, the two of them staring at each other, knowing exactly what Laurie would and could not say.

Laurie just smiled. He would not say it. Jo knew he would not. “I only want your happiness, dear Jo. It’s what I’ve always wanted.”

“Teddy…”, she whispered, her breath catching in her throat as Laurie leaned closer. She felt petrified as Laurie’s lips pressed against her cheek, his warmth taking over her. Without even being aware of it, Jo’s hand moved to clutch onto the front of Laurie’s waistcoat as his lips lingered against her cheek, his breath inches away from her ear.

Jo closed her eyes, knowing that if their eyes were to meet, she would finally give in and do what she’d wanted to do for so long.

Finally, Laurie pulled back, and immediately, the warmth was gone. Jo’s hand released his waistcoat, and Jo opened her eyes. The moment was over as quickly as it had started.

“Goodnight, Jo”, Laurie whispered, pulling away and disappearing into the darkness. Jo stood there, her breath shaky. There was no doubt in her mind. She loved Theodore Laurence, and nothing was going to change that.

---

After a restless night of tossing and turning, Jo was woken up by a loud noise right outside Aunt March’s house. She jumped up, paying no mind to the fact that she was still in her nightgown. She headed for the door, prepared to face the source of the noise. Nothing could have prepared her for the sight of Laurie attempting to lift up a very old, expensive looking writing desk.

“Teddy?”

The man had clearly gotten tired on his way to the house, and he propped the table on the front lawn, attempting to catch his breath.

“Jo!” he smiled, as if the previous night had not happened at all. Laurie grew more and more confusing by the day. “Did I wake you?”

“What on earth are you doing?”

“I noticed that you didn’t have anywhere to write,” Laurie explained, lifting up the desk once more, doing his very best to not look strained as he walked it over the rest of the way, stopping by the front porch. “So I brought you one of my grandfather’s. He said it was perfectly alright, he has too many of these.”

“Teddy, you didn’t have to do this,” Jo said, but she couldn’t help but smile. How could she stay mad at him when he did something as thoughtful as this? “I’m not going to be living here, you know.”

“But you are here for the time being, and you need a desk for writing,” Laurie explained. “I hope you have a chair inside”, he frowned, as if this only now occurred to him.

Jo shook her head, smiling softly. “You could have asked anyone else to do this, Teddy. You have a house full of servants.”

“I wanted to do it myself. I wanted to apologize,” Laurie explained, his expression softer and less guarded than the night before. “I had no right to ambush you like that.”

Jo’s thoughts drifted to the way he had lingered upon kissing her cheek, and knew that this carefree attitude of Laurie’s was nothing but a facade. But perhaps it was their best shot at going back to the way they had once been. “I’m sorry, too. I was too harsh.”

Laurie extended his hand, a smile on his beautiful face. “Friends?”

As they shook hands, they both knew it was a lie. They could never be friends again. And despite this, Jo nodded: “Friends. Always. ”

“Now, help me take this thing inside, will you?” Laurie grabbed one end of the desk, and with Jo taking the other, the two managed to get the table inside with relative ease.

As they set it down, Laurie looked around, hands in his pockets. “What are you going to do with this place, then?”

“I think I’m going to open a school. For girls and boys,” Jo smiled. She studied Laurie’s expression, genuinely curious as to what he thought about the idea. His opinion had always mattered to her greatly, and always would.

“I think that’s a brilliant idea,” Laurie said. “May I extend my application for a teacher’s position?”

“You, Theodore Laurence, a teacher?” Jo snorted. “You could barely sit through your own lessons.”

“A man can change.”

“So I see,” once more, Jo thought of the Teddy of her childhood, her carefree and kind best friend. This man before him still felt so foreign to her, but perhaps the boy she had once known and loved was not so dead after all.

“Before I go,” Laurie spoke. “Would you be so kind as to give me a tour of this place? I want to compare how prim and proper it is compared to the good, old Laurence home.”

“But of course,” Jo grabbed Laurie’s arm, leading him towards the next room. “I believe this place puts even your grandfather’s home to shame.”

“Is that so?”

The two of them spent the rest of the morning together, and for that brief, wonderful moment, everything seemed like it once had. But Jo was not fooled. As she had learned the hard way, childhood was dead and gone, and as her feelings for Laurie grew and grew, they became harder and harder to ignore.

---

The next few weeks passed by, and whatever hope Laurie had harbored at suddenly being able to forget about his feelings for Jo were swiftly crushed when she was still on his mind every moment of every day. He felt irritated, tired, and guilty for both his feelings, and his less than stellar behavior towards Amy. She was trying, but it did not matter, because the fault did not lie with her.

“Laurie?” The man had been staring out of the window, half-heartedly hoping he’d be able to catch a glimpse of Jo. The two had made more of an effort to be friends once more, but he could tell she preferred it when he wasn’t around. As much as it hurt him, he stayed away.

He turned to look at Amy, who was looking at him from across the dining table, clutching the knife and fork in her hands, looking significantly more tense than she had just moments before.

“I’m sorry,” Laurie said, and he was. “I didn’t hear you.”

Amy sighed. “Marmee said that they’re planning a trip to the sea,” she said. “I think we should go.”

Laurie hesitated. There was no doubt that Jo would be there. “I don’t know, Amy.”

“It’s for Beth. She loved the sea,” Amy’s voice was a bit strained as she said the words, and once again, Laurie felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. He knew Amy blamed herself for not being there for Beth when she was sick, and that she wasn’t there to say goodbye. He couldn’t say no to this.

“ Of course, we’ll go,” he said, though deep down he considered it to be a terrible idea. The more time he spent with Jo, the harder it was to be away from her. It had never quite been this bad. But then again, in the past, she had not returned his feelings. Everything was different now.

They sat there silently for a moment, eating their food, when Amy spoke once more. “You’re still wearing it.”

Laurie looked up. “Wearing what?” Why did he feel like he was under inspection every time Amy looked at him these days? Perhaps it was his own guilt talking.

“The ring,” Amy was suddenly very fascinated with her plate of food, shifting the contents around with her knife to avoid meeting her husband’s gaze.

The ring. Of course. Jo’s ring. Laurie had almost forgotten that Amy knew about the ring’s importance. But of course she did. She was the one who had scolded him for it.

“Does it matter?”

“I don’t know. Does it?” Amy finally looked up, and to Laurie’s shock, she looked like she was about to cry. But what could he do? He would not be made a liar, and there was nothing he could say or do to comfort Amy that would not be a lie. But surely she had known. She had known what she was getting herself into.

He stood up, walking over to where Amy was sitting, placing a hand on her shoulder. He didn’t know what to do. It had never been effortless with Amy. “Amy, I married you .”

“Only because she would not have you,” Amy shoved his hand away, standing up. She stepped away from him, looking almost insulted at his attempt at assurance. “We both know what this is, what it’s always been. Don’t play me for a fool and pretend anything else.”

“Amy!” Laurie called after her, but she had already left the room. The conversation felt all too familiar. As Laurie stood there, he was taken back to that day in France, when he’d decided that he was going to pursue Amy. Perhaps it would have kinder to not have done so.

---

The next day, Amy, Laurie, Meg, John, Demi, Daisy, Jo, as well as Mr. and Mrs. March, made their way to the sea, the very same beach they had come that day when Laurie had first introduced Amy to Fred Vaughn, and had told Jo about Mr. Brooke’s dirty little secret. And now, somehow, absolutely everything had changed.

Though the weather was getting warmer, it was still too cold for a swim. Of course, Demi and Daisy had to be told this time and time again by their frustrated mother, as the children so very much wanted to take a dip. Laurie watched them, amusement across his face. Whenever he saw Meg, John and their children, he thought about his own future, and whether he would make a good father. He was beginning to believe that he would not. He had no wisdom to pass on, and no patience or kindness. He could scarcely look at himself in the mirror, let alone fathom the thought of being responsible for another human life.

Everyone settled on the sand, taking out the foods Marmee had packed for their picnic. But Laurie’s eyes drifted towards Jo, who was standing by the water, further away from them all. Without a word, Laurie walked over. He knew that losing Beth had hurt her perhaps more than it had hurt anyone else, and he knew nothing he could say would ever make it okay. But he had to at least try.

“Being here just reminds me of her so much,” Jo spoke. She didn’t even need to turn around to know it was him. Laurie wondered if he and Amy would ever have this kind of intimacy, this bond that he and Jo shared even after all this time.

“I wish I could have been there for you,” Laurie said, and he meant it with all his heart. He would have given anything to not have been in Europe, and instead to have been by Jo’s side. Once more, guilt weighed down on him.

“Well, you were there for Amy,” Jo sounded casual enough, but Laurie could tell it was not alright. He and Jo had been there for each other throughout anything and everything, from the moment they had first become friends. And he had failed her.

Laurie glanced down, noticing that Jo had discarded her shoes. Without a word he, too, took off his shoes, rolling up his trousers as much as he could. He walked closer, placing a hand on the small of Jo’s back. “Come on,” he whispered.

“What?” Jo turned, not realizing how close Laurie actually was. Her face almost collided with his, and she chuckled softly, her eyes still directed at the ground.

Laurie said nothing, just took Jo’s hand and led her closer to the water, hissing as he felt the cold waves beat against his legs. “Come on, now, Jo,” he laughed as he felt Jo try to pull away. “I never took you for a coward.”

This provoked Jo, as Laurie knew it would. She lunged forwards, shoving Laurie as hard as she could, almost making him lose his balance. Jo laughed, and it was music to Laurie’s ears. The two stepped further into the water, gasping as they exposed themselves more and more to the cold, merciless waves.

“Theodore Laurence, you’re a madman! This is so cold!” Jo squeaked, trying to run back to the shore when Laurie grabbed her by the waist, causing them both to go tumbling down to the water, yelping at the sudden movement.

Once they got over the shock, the two friends looked at each other, completely soaked and sitting in the knee-high water, shivering. And then, they just laughed. For even just a minute or two, they were young again, and life wasn’t so very difficult.

Their happiness was short-lived, as only a few seconds later, they heard Meg shouting at them from the shore: “What on earth are you two doing?! You’ll catch your deaths! Get out of there!” She was trying to stop her children from joining them.

Laurie stood up first, holding out his hand for Jo. And for once, she took it. She grabbed his hand and let him help her. “We should go inside,” he said. They had rented rooms at the local inn, not wanting to make the trip back home too late in the evening.

Jo nodded, but something in her expression looked uncertain. Laurie could not exactly blame her. Something felt different now, and touching her felt inappropriate. So, he released her hand, making his way back to the shore, knowing very well that Amy was watching him from not too far away. He had known this trip would be a bad idea.

---

Once inside the inn, Laurie felt remorse for what he’d just done. He had simply been trying to make Jo feel better, but perhaps he had only made things worse. Not just for Jo, but for Amy, too. He did not mean to rub his affection for Jo in her face, but he couldn’t ignore his best friend when she clearly needed him.

He was staring at himself in the mirror, noting how skinny his face looked. He had always been on the thinner side, but now, his cheeks looked so hollow, and the bags under his eyes were very noticeable. The last month had taken a toll on him, and there was no sign of any of it stopping. Was he doomed to suffer for the rest of his life, and in the process hurt those he loved the most?

He heard a knock on the door, and tore his eyes from the mirror. He was only wearing a new pair of trousers, as well as one of his loose, white blouses. It would have to do. “Jo?”

The door opened and Jo’s head poked in. She looked as uncertain as he felt. She was fully clothed, but her hair was still damp, and her skin red. “Am I disturbing you?”

“Oh, only my vanity”, Laurie gestured at the mirror before walking over to the bed, sitting down on it, not thinking much of it. He had never really spent time in Jo’s bedroom, but it didn’t strike him as particularly inappropriate. The mere existence of a bed did not have sexual connotations, no matter how much society liked to state otherwise.

Jo chuckled. She stepped into the room, and immediately Laurie noticed that she, too, had chosen not to put on her shoes. She was wearing a colorful pair of socks, green and embroidered with flowers. “The innkeeper saw us come in, she insisted we eat something, so we don’t fall ill,” she gestured at the large tray in her hands, which looked to be carrying two bowls of soup, some loaves of bread, and two large mugs of coffee.

“That’s very kind of her,” Laurie gestured for Jo to take a seat on the bed. She hesitated, only putting down the tray.

“I don’t know if I should.”

Laurie hesitated. He didn’t know why she was afraid to sit down, but far be it for him to dismiss her worries. “If you don’t feel comfortable…”

“No, I do, it’s just…” Amy’s name went unspoken, but they both knew.

“We’re just eating,” was all Laurie said, and all the convincing Jo seemed to need to take a seat on the other side of the bed, far enough so that she was not touching Laurie, but close enough that she could still reach the food.

They sat in silence for a bit, Laurie biting into the bread while Jo sipped her soup, shivering every now and then. Laurie ignored it, knowing that if he reached out to touch her now, it would destroy whatever sense of familiarity and comfort they had with each other. Casual touches were not what they used to be between them.

“I never thanked you, you know,” Jo spoke.

“For what?” Laurie could not think of a single thing anyone could or should thank him for.

“For being so kind to Beth. She was always so shy and quiet, but you were so gentle. She really did love you,” something about Jo’s words really touched Laurie. He had considered Beth a true friend, and missed her just as everyone else did. But in his attempt to look after Amy, he had not allowed himself a moment to think about how this made him feel. It had seemed selfish. It still seemed selfish.

“She was my friend, Jo, no need to thank me,” he said sincerely. “I was kind to her because she was kind to me. She truly was the best of us.”

Jo nodded. There were tears in her eyes, but Laurie was quite certain that this happened whenever she thought of Beth. As much as he missed Beth, he could not even come close to imagining how Jo must have been feeling.

“I’m happy we came here,” was all Jo said before grabbing her mug, wrapping her shaky fingers around it in a feeble attempt to warm up. Laurie watched, but did not touch. He could not.

“Nothing I can say will make anything better,” he murmured. “But I know Beth could not have asked for a better sister than you, Jo.” He had always admired the relationship Jo had shared with her little sister. The way she had been so protective and fierce when it came to Beth. The two had been such opposites, and yet complemented each other so well.

“I hope you’re right, Teddy”, Jo sighed. “She’s the reason I’m writing, you know.”

“She is?”

“She asked me to write for her, and to keep writing even after she…,” the girl shook her head, sipping her coffee. “Anyway, that is why I’m doing it.”

“What is the story about?”

“Us.”

Laurie knew Jo did not mean the two of them. But still, hearing her use the word gave him pause for just a second.

“Our little, modest life. I’ve sent in the first few chapters, but my publisher says it’s too boring.”

“I haven’t even read it, and I disagree already,” Laurie scoffed. “You will keep writing, won’t you?”

“I will. Even if it never becomes a book, I owe it to Beth,” Jo shrugged. “You know, Friedrich told me that my work is not very good.”

For a moment, Laurie had to think of who she even meant by Friedrich. And then he remembered the stuck-up professor. “Well, I am all the more glad that you rejected him, then. What a ridiculous thing to stay.”

“There is nothing wrong with constructive criticism, Teddy,” Jo snorted. “That’s something you have never given me.”

“There is a difference between constructive criticism and being a pompous bore”, Laurie argued, meeting her gaze and smiling as she chuckled. “But, if you are so very fond of this criticism, let me read your book.”

Jo hesitated. “I don’t know, Teddy.”

“I don’t claim to be as intelligent as your dear professor, but I would still like to read it, you know.” He wasn’t going to push if she really did not wish to share it, but he hoped she would.

Jo thought about it for a moment. “Alright,” she said. “But only you. You mustn’t show it to Amy, or your grandfather, or anyone else. Do you understand?”

“I understand,” Laurie smirked. He reached out his hand, and they shook hands, both with big smiles on their faces. If only being friends was as easy as this all the time.

Once they pulled back, Laurie paused. “Wait, am I to understand that I’m also in this book, then? If it’s about your life.”

“Well, yes, can’t really be helped, can it?” Jo said, reaching out and grabbing a loaf of bread. “Did you think I would simply ignore your existence?”

“Now I definitely need to read it,” Laurie teased. “To make sure you are not tainting my good name.”

“Oh, Teddy, I think Europe did that for you,” Jo said it as if it was nothing, but Laurie paused. How could she know about what he had been doing in Europe?

“What?” he asked.

Jo seemed to have realized what she said, as she paused, turning to face him. “I mean, Amy did write to us.”

“And what did she tell you?”

“Among other things, that you would drink yourself to oblivion, and cause scenes at prestigious events,” Jo shrugged. “I assumed you were simply having fun.”

Laurie scoffed. “That was one time,” he rubbed his eyes, wondering what else Amy had told Jo. Yes, he had been in a terrible place in Europe, and yes, he had drank more than usual, and yes, he had indeed caused a scene at Amy’s precious party. But that had been the only time the March girl had seen him at his lowest. Most nights, he had simply resorted to drinking himself to sleep in his own hotel room.

“Teddy, it’s fine. You were enjoying yourself. Europe is different. No one thinks any less of you.”

“Do you really think I was drinking to enjoy myself?” Laurie asked in disbelief, glaring at her. She could not be that stupid.

Jo seemed to realize the implication behind her words, and shook her head. “Teddy, I’m sorry, I just... “ She chuckled. “But surely, it was not because of me?”

Laurie rolled his eyes. Sometimes she was simply insufferable. “For heaven’s sake, Jo.” He stood up, feeling as frustrated as had the last time the two of them had argued. They were not getting anywhere.

Jo just sat there, her mouth open, processing the information. “Oh,” she whispered. “I see.”

Laurie crossed his arms, staring at the ground. He knew he shouldn’t be angry. It didn’t matter if Jo acknowledged the toll her rejection had taken on his heart. It was over and done with. But something about her willful ignorance infuriated him. “You must think very little of me, Jo.”

“Why on earth would you say that?!” Jo raised her voice, standing up from the bed as well, circling over to stand in front of him.

“Because you seriously thought that mere months after you broke my heart, I’d be out and about, partying like nothing had happened! How fickle do you think I am?”

Something in Jo’s expression hardened. “You married Amy a few weeks after that. I would say quite fickle.”

Silence fell in the room, and Laurie realized that there was nothing else he wanted to say. He couldn’t even look at her. “Get out.”

“Gladly,” Jo hissed, marching out the room, slamming the door shut so hard that a picture hanging on the wall fell down with a loud crash.

Laurie just stood there, staring at the broken shards of glass on the floor. He shouldn’t have lost his temper, but he hated the fact that Jo was not wrong.

With a sigh, he walked over to the mess they’d made, and began the process of picking up the shards one by one, trying to ignore the ache in his heart that was growing more painful day by day.

---

“Make no mistake, Miss March, I believe this book will be a big risk,” Mr. Dashwood said firmly, glaring at Jo from behind his desk. The man had, rather abruptly, invited Jo up to his office to discuss her novel, towards which he had started to develop a lukewarm interest.

Jo was no fool. She knew that however big a risk Mr. Dashwood considered the book to be, it would still be a risk he’d take. He did not seem the kind of man to waste his time. “I assure you, Mr. Dashwood, it will be worth it,” she was not as sure of herself as she claimed to be, but she had to fake it.

Mr. Dashwood chuckled. “Confidence. I like it. How far along are you with this project?”

“I’ve written about nine chapters”, Jo said. “I brought the rest along,” she handed him the papers containing chapters four to nine. “I thought you’d want a look.”

“Indeed, I do,” Mr. Dashwood looked pleased. “Remember what I told you, the first day that we met. It is essential, as your main character is a girl, that she be married at the end.”

Something about those words hurt Jo more than they had before. And it did not take a genius to know why. She was the main character, and there was no hope for her finding happiness in a marriage. The only man she had ever even thought about spending her life with was already spoken for. “Or dead, you said.”

Mr. Dashwood snorted. “Or dead,” he agreed.

Jo stood up, extending her hand. “I look forward to your thoughts.”

“Good day, Miss March,” Mr. Dashwood let go of her hand and sat back down, already beginning the process of reading through the chapters. Jo watched him for a few seconds before leaving the office, her heart hammering in her chest. She had tried to contain her excitement while actually conducting business, but now she could rejoice in full. Her book would actually be published.

“Oh, Beth,” she whispered. “I hope I’ve done you proud.”

She stepped into the busy streets of New York, and to her surprise, almost bumped into someone she had never expected to see again.

“Friedrich,” she gaped.

“Jo,” he did not look as surprised as she felt. “I… I saw you come in from across the street, and I waited.”

“I thought you were going to California,” Jo frowned.

“I’m to leave in a month,” Friedrich explained. “My plans were… delayed.” Something about the man’s words told Jo that perhaps what Amy had implied had been somewhat correct. Perhaps Friedrich had harbored feelings for her.

“I see,” Jo smiled, shifting from one foot to the other, her previous excitement completely gone now that she was faced with such an awkward situation.

“Jo, do you think that we could sit for a moment?” Friedrich asked. He looked nervous. Jo frowned, half in mind to decline, but then again, why was she being so suspicious of him? Whatever he wanted from her, it could be completely innocent.

“Of course,” Jo gestured across the street at a park, where they found an empty bench, sitting down at a relative distance from each other. Jo fumbled with the end of her braid, silently wishing she could get out of this situation.

“I wanted to apologize,” Friedrich began, causing Jo to glance at him.

“Whatever for? You’ve done nothing.”

“It was inappropriate of me to come to your family home, unannounced,” Friedrich sounded so matter-of-fact, so cold, the way he had been when he had given his criticism of her work.

Jo sighed. She shouldn’t have thought of that, because it only reminded her of promising to give Laurie her book to read. Laurie, who she had not seen since their argument nearly a month ago.

“Not at all,” she said. “Only… I suppose I did not understand the reason for it.”

Friedrich scoffed, rubbing his eye before turning to face Jo. “I know you are not that unintelligent. In fact, I know you’re not unintelligent at all.”

“Why do all of your compliments have to begin with an insult?” Jo snapped back. “And I do not appreciate this coyness, not from you. Why did you come to Concord?”

“To ask for your hand in marriage, Jo,” Friedrich said, stating it as plainly as possible. “It was completely foolish of me, of course. I have nothing to offer you. No money, no prospects. But still, I thought that you might…,” he shrugged, silencing himself.

So, Amy had been right. Jo watched him, feeling an overwhelming amount of pity for this man. She did care for him, and wished him well, but she did not love him. “Friedrich… I could not make you happy.”

Friedrich shook his head. “You don’t need excuses, not with me.”

“So, you believe I ignored your advances because of your social status?” Jo repeated the words he would not say.

“It would be understandable if you did,” Friedrich responded, his voice monotone once more.

Jo shook her head. “That is not the reason I cannot love you, Friedrich. Though, perhaps I did not know it when we first met.”

Friedrich waited, watching her with curiosity. Even now, nothing about his reaction compared to the desperation in Laurie’s eyes when she had rejected him.

“I am in love with someone else,” that was the first time Jo had said it out loud, and it hurt just as much as she had thought it would. “I cannot have him, but no other will do.”

Friedrich looked surprised, and even allowed himself a chuckle. “This I was not expecting. I thought the great Jo March was too independent to ever allow herself to love.”

“A thought I once entertained, too,” Jo admitted. “But I was wrong.” She had said and thought that phrase countless times in the past months, and yet, it changed nothing.

Friedrich nodded. He looked like he wanted to ask more, but remained silent. Jo was grateful for it, for she did not think she could speak about Laurie more even if he asked. It was her own, dirty little secret.

“That is why I cannot accept your proposal, or anyone else’s,” Jo explained. “I am sorry, truly.”

Friedrich stood up, looking down at Jo with a surprising calmness. Perhaps he had not loved her quite as fiercely as Amy had claimed. “I do not know who this man is, but he is ridiculous if he thinks he can find anyone better than you.”

Jo smiled bitterly. If only it were that easy. “Thank you, Friedrich.”

He was about to walk away when Jo called after him: “If you’re ever in want of a home-cooked meal, you are welcome to stop by whenever you’d like. Marmee loves company.”

Friedrich only smiled, acknowledging her words with a nod before crossing the street, disappearing into the crowds. Jo watched him go, her thoughts on Laurie, as they often were. Would he have wanted her to accept Friedrich and put their dilemma to bed? It did not matter much to her if the answer was yes, as Jo would simply do what she wanted to do, but it was a thought that crossed her mind.

No. She would not sink to Laurie’s level and marry someone else simply because she was lonely. She was better than that. Jo March would never settle.

---

It had been difficult, being away from Laurie all the while knowing that he was so close, but at the same time, Jo was furious at him. All the feelings she had been harboring towards him this entire time were coming to the surface, and every time the two of them talked, she felt like she was getting closer to the breaking point. So, it was better to keep her distance, or she might say or do something she would end up regretting.

Because she did not regret calling Laurie fickle. He was, and he was a fool if he thought otherwise. How could the man truly claim that he had loved her as feverishly as he had proclaimed, only to confess his undying love for her sister only moments after? It did not add up, and Jo knew that, in her stubbornness, it would be useless to ask for an explanation, as nothing Laurie could say or do would make it right. Marriage was not something you simply walked out of. Sure, some people did, but it was always frowned upon. And Laurie had known that. He had signed a binding contract with Amy that could not be broken, so he had absolutely no right to come to her and accuse her of anything. Perhaps Jo had been the one to make the first mistake, but Laurie had made the fatal one.

To distract herself from the fact that the man she both loved and hated was a walking distance away, she decided to go to the theatre. She always enjoyed it, even if the little theatre productions in Concord were nothing compared to the ones she’d seen in New York. She had asked Meg and John to accompany her, but as they could not find someone to watch the children, Jo was forced to go on her own. Not that she truly minded, she was there for the play, after all.

She sat down, ready to immerse herself in a few hours of harmless fun, only to feel someone poking at her shoulder, forcing her to turn to whoever had disturbed her. She frowned as she was met with none other than Amy and Laurie. Perfect.

“Do you want to sit with us?” Amy whispered, keeping her voice low as the production was about to begin.

For a brief second, Jo met Laurie’s gaze, and the anger in his eyes was clear. “No,” she said, turning back in her seat. She hoped Amy would not take offense. She was not mad at her sister, she was mad at her sister’s husband, as ridiculous as that sounded.

All throughout the play, Jo could practically feel Laurie’s eyes on the back of her head, but not once did she turn around. She would not give him the satisfaction. He had been the one who had gotten angry at her and told her to get out. She would stay out of his life until he became man enough to apologize for his temper tantrum.

“Laurie, I’m going to use the washroom,” Jo heard Amy whisper in the middle of what seemed to be an important scene. For all her gushing over how much she adored the theatre, Amy could barely ever sit still to watch a production.

As soon as Amy was gone, Jo could feel Laurie leaning closer, his breath on the back of her neck. “Jo”, he whispered.

“Be quiet,” Jo hissed. “I’m trying to watch this.”

In truth, she had not been able to focus on the production the entire evening. Something about a fair maiden who was in love with a man far richer than her. It was a simple premise, but for the life of her, she could not keep up with it.

“I need to speak with you,” Laurie insisted. “Come on, before Amy gets back.”

Jo shook her head, still not turning around. “Leave me alone, Teddy.”

Laurie remained silent for a few seconds, and Jo thought that perhaps he had finally given up. And then, he stood up, walking out of the theatre, exiting towards the side door. Jo knew Laurie wanted her to follow. But she was not going to. She was not. What if Amy came back to find their seats empty? She would never hear the end of it.

But at the same time, she was curious. Laurie had looked so angry, and now he was willing to apologize? Perhaps she should give him the benefit of the doubt, hear what the man had to say.

Jo sat there for a few seconds longer, her eyes constantly shifting towards the side door. And then, she let her curiosity get the best of her. She rushed out, following Laurie into the chilly spring evening.

Laurie was waiting, as she knew he would be. He had his hands in his pockets, and he looked more nervous than before. He met her gaze and sighed. “Took you long enough.”

“I am here to see a play, Teddy, not indulge you in your dramatics,” Jo snapped. “What do you want?” she stayed by the stairs, not wanting to get too close.

“You think I’m fickle, do you?” Laurie spoke, continuing the argument as if it had not been a month since the two had even been faced with each other.

“Teddy,” Jo threw her hands up. “I don’t have time to argue with you! Amy could be back any second.”

“What you consider fickle, dear Jo, was me coming to terms with the fact that you were never going to love me,” Laurie continued, still ignoring Jo’s protests. He took a step closer, fire in his eyes. “I had tried to make you love me, and I had failed. What is fickle about me trying to move on?”

Jo shook her head. “Enough, Laurie,” she snapped, opening the door. “I’m not having this conversation with you.”

Laurie reached out and grabbed her arm, preventing her from running off. He slammed the door shut with his foot. “You may call me fickle all you like, Jo, but you, you are a coward.”

Jo met his gaze, the anger in her eyes now matching his. “Excuse me?”

“You hide behind your judgment and your letters,” Laurie snapped. “You criticize me for all that I do, and all that I fail to do, but you, Jo… you have done nothing. You did nothing while I was in Europe, you did nothing after I came back, and even now, you do nothing. You are afraid.”

Jo could see the truth in his words. She was afraid. She had always been afraid of love, and being vulnerable with someone. But could he not see that it was not as simple as that? Even if she was not afraid - even if she told him everything she felt, and everything she wanted, it would make no difference. He was married.

“What difference does it make?!” Jo snapped. “What does it matter what I do or do not do? It’s too late.”

Laurie shook his head. “Spoken like someone who’s never been in love.” He let go of her arm. “Love is not rational. It’s not about what makes sense. It’s about what you feel.”

“Do not force it out of me, Teddy! Don’t you do it. I am trying my best, but it’s so hard. I see you with Amy, and it hurts! I think back on that day, when I say no, and it hurts. Seeing you hurts me. Is that what you wanted to hear? Is that going to satisfy you?!” Jo was so angry and so desperate that she wasn’t even quite sure what she was saying, but it was all coming out, and there was no stopping it now.

“No”, Laurie shushed, his face only inches from her now. He shook his head, reaching up to place his cold hand on her cheek, brushing against the freckles on her cheekbone. He looked so disarmed in that moment, and Jo felt an overwhelming sense of endearment towards this man. A mere sign of pain from her, and he dropped all his weapons, ready to comfort her. “No, I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Jo…” He placed his other hand on her cheek as well, their foreheads pressed together. This was the closest they had ever been, and Jo felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest with how fast it was beating.

Jo observed him, taking in everything that she could. The freckles on his sharp nose, those green eyes infused with the loveliest shade of brown. The soft curl to his hair. His lips. She found herself leaning ever so closer, their noses brushing together. Laurie’s eyes were closed, as if he was not daring to open them and face reality. Jo could feel his breath on her skin.

She could kiss him. She could do it, and perhaps everything could finally make sense. She wanted to, and everything within herself told her to do it. But she could not. She knew she could not. Instead, she moved ever so slightly, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. She could feel Laurie’s breath quicken at the motion. Somewhere along the line, Jo’s hands had moved to touch him, one on his neck, the other stroking his cheek.

How she wished he was hers to touch. But he was not, and even this was wrong. Even this was hurting Amy. She watched as Laurie’s eyes opened, green meeting blue, and smiled. She did not know what to say. But there was an understanding between them, and as Laurie sighed, Jo knew that he was thinking exactly what she was thinking. Slowly, he released her face, placing his hands in his pockets once more. Jo took a few seconds longer, allowing her finger to brush against Laurie’s bottom lip as she retreated, feeling empty.

“Go back inside,” was all she said, even though every part of her wanted to ask him to stay.

Laurie nodded. He walked past her, opening the door. As he stood there, he said what Jo never expected him to say. “I’m sorry I didn’t wait for you,” with that, he disappeared, leaving Jo alone once more.

She closed her eyes, breathing in through her nose. She refused to let the tears come. She would not cry. Crying would do her no good. So, instead, she just stood there for the remainder of the performance, as if frozen still. How was she going to survive this?

---

In all of her anger and frustration, Jo had actually forgotten about promising Laurie a look at her book. But she was a woman of her word, and if things were different, she would actually have been curious to hear his thoughts.

So, as soon as Mr. Dashwood sent back the book with some additional notes, Jo packed up the first nine chapters and walked on over to the Laurence mansion. She felt incredibly self-conscious as she stood there, waiting for someone to open the door. She had never worried about things such as these before, but now, whenever she saw Amy and Laurie together, she was so intimately aware of all of her faults, anything that she could possibly be judged for. She did not care for the feeling at all.

Jo looked up as the door opened. It was the maid, as she had expected. “Good day, Miss March,” the old lady smiled pleasantly.

“Good day,” Jo smiled back. “Is Laurie home, by any chance? I’ve…”, she gestured at the papers. “Got something for him.”

The maid nodded. “Mr. and Mrs. Laurence are in the dining room. Shall I fetch him?” something about the way she said this made Jo lose all confidence. Mr. and Mrs. Laurence. Because, of course. Laurie and Amy were a married couple, and they were now known as a single unit. The way she and Laurie had once been known as a single unit. Suddenly, she could not face them.

“No, don’t disturb them,” she handed her the papers. “If you could just see to it that Mr. Laurence gets these.”

“Of course, Miss March,” the maid smiled, completely unaware of the emotional damage she’d just done on Jo’s heart. She closed the door, leaving Jo by herself once more.

Jo sighed, shaking her head. If anything, she felt better about resisting the urge to kiss Laurie the other day. It was for the best. Amy and Laurie were inseparable now, and she needed to stop getting in the way. Not only for Amy’s sake, but perhaps for her own as well.

#jo x laurie #jo march #theodore laurence #little women 2019 #little women fanfiction #little women #pls read this on ao3 instead #fanfiction

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cactusstree · 4 years

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1994 v.s. 2019: My Thoughts On The New Little Women Adaptation

Before I start, I would like to say this is a VERY biased review, it is not meant to be objective. I have always loved the 1994 Little Women, and I definitely went into the theater knowing that I would still prefer it. I absolutely enjoyed the new adaptation and I’m sure I will be watching it again in the future, but there are certain things that I feel just can’t be changed about the original.

Jo March

Going into the theater, i had low expectations of Saorise's portrayl of Jo simply because i think Winona Ryder cannot be beat. I still prefer Winona, but i was pleasantly surprised with Saorise. I felt Saorise really captured Jo's tomboyish personality, when I was afraid she would not. I was happy to see Jo's masculine costuming; it seems Gerwig was able to "get away" with more gender nonconformity than the first movie could.

Jo March+ Laurie

In terms of Jo and Laurie's relationship, I have mixed feelings. In the 1994 version, it seemed as though Jo was certain in her feelings towards Laurie. Although it pained her to lose a dear friendship, she never really regretted it besides "I shouldn't turn down perfectly good marriage proposals." In 2019, however, Jo seemed much more indecisive after the two characters argument after Meg's wedding. It appeared that she may actually love Laurie romantically. I felt this was inconsistent, especially because 2019 Jo was much more aggressive in her first refusal, even to the extent that I was hoping Gerwig might actually allow Jo to be a lesbian (as we all know she is). Jo even said something along the lines of "I wish I had those feelings towards you but I don't," which is what got my hopes up.

Personally, I have always felt that Jo made the correct decision in turning down Laurie, as I picture their relationship to be more similar to brother and sister.

Jo March+ Friedrich

I have to say I was very disappointed with this movie's Friedrich. While of course I would prefer that Jo end up independent, we all know that is not going to happen. Therefore, I want her to end up with her intellectual equal, and someone who genuinely cares about her. In 1994, it is firmly established that Friedrich is dirt poor, and has many similar interests to Jo. On the other hand, 2019 only hints at Friedrich's poverty, and makes little to no effort in making him a lovable character; there are only a few interactions shown between him and Jo, and none of them really struck me as anything special. For instance, 2019 Friedrich offers Jo a set of Shakespeare's complete works, and while this is certainly a kind gesture, it doesn't really showthat they have much in common besides a love of literature. In 1994, Friedrich and Jo have an entire conversation about trancendentalism, not only establishing that they have more specific interests in common, but also showing that Jo's parents, while poor, are deeply involved in political and intellectual movements.

I really missed the tender 1994 moment where Friedrich invites Jo to an opera, which we know she has always wanted to attend, and they kiss in the "worst" seat in the theater. Friedrich was not able to afford nice seats, but he wanted Jo to have the opera experience, as he knew she would love it. In 2019, Friedrich simply observes Jo enjoying the opera while he sits in a nice seat and she stands, once again not really establishing any sort of connection between the two.

1994 Friedrich's criticisms of Jo's writing seem genuine. They come from a place of "you are talented and you write entertaining stories, but they don't seem to really come from your heart." Of course, Jo is offended at first but she comes to realize that she needs to write about her family, not just adventure stories. Therefore, Friedrich's criticisms are actually constructive and help Jo along her path. 2019 Friedrich really only says "I don't like it" which doesn't help Jo at all, and then it seems like she had to humble herself and stop being offended? Once again, this doesn't make any sense. Jo had every right to be offended when this man she barely knows starts criticising her life's work with no helpful suggestions. I felt that tension was never really resolved.

And of course, Jo and Friedrich's final scene where they kiss in the rain will always hold a special place in my heart. I love the 1994 version of course because it's simply beautiful. I love the fact that two of them are alone in the rain on the pathway leaving Orchard house. I didn't really enjoy the train station setting as much because it felt less special, especially when they're surrounded by people. Also, the 2019 version just quickly went over one of my favorite moments, when Friedrich says "I have nothing to give you, my hands are empty" (which of course in more powerful in 1994 because of how strongly Friedrich's poverty is established) and Jo responds by holding his hands and saying "not empty now."

This moment was included in 2019, but it didn't feel as special to me.

I think Gerwig tried to make up for Friedrich's characterization by showing that LM Alcott would prefer that Jo ended up a spinster, but I just don't think this was the right way to go. Like I said, I would like Jo to be independent as well, but if she does end up with a man I would like to feel happy for her. Gerwig's juxtaposition between Alcott getting her book published and Jo's moment with Friedrich was clever, but it took me out of the moment and made the last few scenes much less enjoyable.

Marmee

I felt 2019 focused much less on Marmee, which was disappointing to me. That isn't to say Laura Dern did a poor job, just that I have a closer connection to Susan Sarandon. There were several more scenes in 1994 that included Marmee, so I think the audience has more time to become attatched to her. Also, I didn't like that there were a few sarcastic quips between Marmee and the father (such as when father March jokes that he should move to California? I just didn't quite get that).

Mr. Laurence

Something I will say I prefer about 2019 is the emphasis on Mr. Laurence. I LOVED seeing his close friendship with Beth, especially the scene where he listens to her play the piano in his home, and later when he and Jo enter Orchard House together after Beth's death. I felt his inclusion helped Beth seem more significant.

Chronology

While I understand what Gerwig was trying to do with the way she ordered the scenes, I think chronological order is the best way to go. I liked that 2019 ordering was able to make some interesting parallels between the girl's childhood and young adulthood, such as Beth's first and last illnesses, Amy's relationship with Laurie, Jo's childhood at Orchard House and her later return. The problem I have, however, is that the constant scene switching made it more difficult to connect with the characters. One of the reasons we as an audience care so much about the girl's adulthood is because we saw them being foolish, we saw the way they care for one another, etc. This is especially apparent in Laurie's character, because he's kind of an asshole in young adulthood. In 1994, we put up with that because he is so charming in the first half of the movie. In 2019, not much is convincing me that I like Laurie as a character until we're further into the movie. It also took away from the audience's view of Beth. In 1994, we are relieved that she survives the first wave of scarlet fever, and that relief makes her later death more powerful. In 2019, her first and second waves of illness are depicted simultaneously, which makes it difficult for the audience to calm down. For me, this just meant a full ten minutes of tears streaming down my face, I never got a break!

Amy

Listen, I loved Florence Pugh as Amy, but I really really wish they had a younger actress to depict her as a child. I don't mean this as an insult towards Pugh, because I think she did a wonderful job, it was just incredibly difficult for me to believe she was the youngest child during their childhood scenes.

Amy+ Laurie

I have never really loved that Amy and Laurie ended up together, but their 2019 relationship felt even less resolved than 1994. One of the things that helped their 1994 relationship is the moment where Amy is being sent away due to Beth's illness and she laments (in her overdramatic fashion) to Laurie that she has never been kissed. Laurie promises her that he will kiss her before she dies. This sets up a potential for their romantic relationship, and establishes that they both care for one another. In 2019, it isn't really confirmed that Laurie cares for Amy more that her sister. In 1994, Laurie and Amy have a full conversation about how Amy doesn't want to be loved for her family, but rather for being herself, Larie then has to get his act straight and prove to her that he really does love her for who she is. In 2019, they have this same conversation but it never felt completed. It seemed like Amy just gave in, especially because she was so distraught about her sister's death. I will say that I loved 2019 Amy's moment where she explains marriage is very much an economic agreement for women, as I feel that was important to acknowlege in their time period.

1994 Jo's reaction to their marriage also felt like more of a resolution. She seems genuinely happy for them. That isn't to say that 2019 Jo isn't happy for them either, but she is clearly more upset and hasn't finished moving on.

Cineamatography

It is difficult for me to compare 1994 and 2019 in this aspect, as I genuinely loved both. I think 1994 focused more on details and domestic scenery, whereas 2019's landscape shots were more impressive. For instance, I loved that Gerwig included a scene at the beach because it was simply beautiful, and gave the audience something new to look at. The ice skating scenes and the scene right after Meg's wedding were really lovely in my opinion. However, I vastly prefer 1994's depiction of Orchard House. It just seems so much more inviting to me.

(I can't find a good picture of 2019 Orchard House, though I have heard it is more closely modeled to LM Alcott's actual home, so that is something, I just didn't really like it)

I thought these scenes were beautifully framed, I loved it!

Costuming

I absolutely loved the costuming in 2019, especially Jo's writing coat!

Soundtrack

1994 soundtrack makes me weep tears of joy and nostalgia every time I hear it. 2019 doesn't even come close.

#mine #sorry this is SO LONG #feel free to disagree with me! i would love to discuss #little women #little women 2019 #little women 1994 #greta gerwig

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protectwoc · 4 years

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thots on little women (2019)

or, y’all are giving greta gerwig too much credit, part one

(Before y’all say anything, I know)

I have a lot of thoughts about the new Little Women movie.

I should probably start by saying that I loved the new movie. I thought most of the acting performances were good (Emma Watson’s accent notwithstanding), and it was a pretty faithful adaptation of the book; a lot of the quotes were lifted verbatim from the novel, and I often found myself mouthing along with the actors. I don’t usually like book-to-screen adaptation changes, but I actually didn’t mind most of the changes here. The two biggest things that were changed were the decision to start the story in the middle and jump back and forth, and the positioning Jo as the writer of Little Women who was forced to write in the “Jo marries Bhaer and gets a happy (married) ending” bit. I actually really liked both of those choices and thought they were good additions to the story, making this probably the only time I’ve ever liked any book-to-screen adaptation changes. Also, I am and have been since childhood an Amy March stan, and I liked that her character was more fleshed out and relatable to other viewers. I also think Florence Pugh did a superb acting job. Overall I liked it a lot, and I fully intend on rewatching it again.

I should also say that I read Little Women when I was very young, probably nine or ten, and I loved it, and it has been one of my favorite books since. Regardless of these facts, I never saw any of the live action versions, so the only version I have to compare the 2019 one with is the movie inside my head. With that said, as previously mentioned, I have a lot of thoughts.

Look, the movie was really good. I thought so, my family thought so, and clearly critics thought so too. But when I started reading the reviews after I had seen the movie, something about them kept rubbing me the wrong way. Something kept nagging at me, but it wasn’t until I read this particular review that I realized what it was: “here’s the thing about greta gerwig’s little women. it’s really not just about jo anymore...she showed the struggle and sacrifice and love that meg has. she gives beth one of the most beautiful story arcs ever. she lets beth exist in the movie and grow on us before her death.” But… she didn’t, I remember thinking. And that is the crux of my issue with the movie, or at least, the conversation around the movie. It feels like a lot of people are giving Gerwig credit for things she didn’t actually do, like fully fleshing out the non-Jo characters, or exploring Jo’s sexuality. And that is what I am going to discuss in this essay.

I imagine the Venn Diagram of people who read my first Descendants meta and people who will be interested in this is virtually nonexistent (probably just me, honestly) but just in case, this essay will be set up similarly to my last one. It will probably come in at least two parts, since I can already feel this getting away from me, and I will start with an unnecessarily long list of prefaces:

This meta is not, for the most part, about race. I do believe Greta Gerwig is a White Feminist™, which shows up in a lot of her work, up to and including this one. Obviously the racial diversity of Little Women is virtually nonexistent, but coming from a Greta Gerwig adaptation of Little Women, I’m not sure what y’all were expecting. Since I didn’t go into the movie anticipating any sort of racial diversity, I wasn’t disappointed, and for that reason I will be leaving racial dynamics and Gerwig’s fraught history with racial diversity out of this meta almost entirely.

As previously mentioned, I read Little Women when I was pretty young and loved it. I read it way before I knew anything about the internet or media discussion, so I formed my opinions on the story writ large independently of basically everyone else. With that said, it wasn’t until way later, like about 14 or 15, that I actually started reading online discourse about Little Women and discovered that my opinions ran contrary to just about everyone else’s.

For example, I have always loved Amy March. She was always my favorite character, her chapters of the book were always my favorite to reread, and I was ecstatic when she married Laurie and thought it made perfect sense.

Conversely, I have never been a huge fan of Jo. I know, in the book community that’s basically blasphemy, but whatever. This sense of apathy is probably due to the fact that Jo and I have virtually the same personality, and I get on my own nerves quite often, and also that even as a child I was never a huge fan of Jo’s “not like other girls” personality.

I am what some people would call hyper-romantic. Consequently, my favorite section of the book has always been the last half, with all of the romances and drama. I also didn’t have a huge problem with Jo’s marriage to Bhaer; I didn’t love it or anything, but given that I was never super attached to Jo’s character, I wasn’t super broken up when she married him, also partly because…

I never read Jo as queer. I know, I know, but as a bi woman, I never picked up on whatever subtext everybody else seemed to. I grew up around a lot of white women in the country, and they all acted exactly like Jo did, so maybe that’s why. Of course, it’s a perfectly valid interpretation/headcanon, I’m just telling y’all that I personally never saw it. With that said, I was excited to watch an interpretation where she was more explicitly queer, as all the reviews seemed to say she was, and boy, was I… disappointed.

To clarify, I’m not saying all of my opinions because I want to change anyone’s mind, or convince them that they’ve been reading the book wrong all these years. But I think it’s important to let y’all know where I’m coming from, since I’m sure it’s going to color the way that I view the movie, and the problems within it. In the same way, if my personal opinions about the book change the way you are going to read this essay, I suggest stopping now.

With all that said, I present: Thoughts on Little Women (2019). Also, spoilers, obviously.

Part One: The Sisters

A lot of the praise given to Gerwig’s Little Women centers around one thing: Jo’s sisters. Specifically, how the three sisters are given a much more prominent role in the storyline than in previous adaptations, almost to the level of Jo herself. Now, as previously mentioned, I have never seen another adaptation of Little Women, but I can speak for this adaptation and say that I feel supremely let down.

Let’s start with the obvious: Beth. The review that I cited claimed that Gerwig “gave Beth one of the most beautiful story arcs ever” and “let viewers get to know her so that you really feel her loss.” While of course this reviewer is entitled to their opinion on this movie; all media is up for interpretation, I can’t say that I agree with these statements, or even know where this interpretation came from.

Beth basically only has five major scenes in the film. Obviously she’s a part of many of the other girls’ scenes, but when I’m discussing her “major” scenes, I’m referring to ones where the main focus of the directing is on Beth and her feelings/behaviors. Anyone who read Little Women can tell you that the most memorable thing about Beth is her death. Unfortunately, in the movie, the scenes that deal with her sickness/death are more focused on Jo’s feelings than Beth’s. In the past, Jo mourns her hair with more concern than she shows for Beth, and in the present, the focus continues to be more on Jo’s emotions. Beth’s only actual major scenes are:

Beth is too nervous to talk to Mr. Laurence and hides behind Marmee

Beth is the only one of the March sisters to go visit and take care of the Hummels; she contracts scarlet fever

Beth overcomes her fear of Mr. Laurence and goes to play the piano in his house.

Mr. Laurence gifts Beth a beautiful grand piano; she goes to thank him.

Jo takes Beth to the beach where Beth confesses she is ready to die.

The problem with these scenes is that they tell us basically nothing about Beth’s characteristics. From those five scenes, we can glean that she is selfless, shy, until she isn’t anymore, and that she is a musician, which, contrary to what many musicians believe, is not a personality trait. In actuality, we cannot even concretely say that she is shy, since we only see this behavior through her interactions with Mr. Laurence. She seems to have no problem engaging with the Hummels, and it could just as well be that she is more nervous interacting with a rich older unmarried man, which would not be uncommon for a woman of her situation in her time period.

The only personality trait that differentiates Beth from her sisters is her selflessness, since all three of the other sisters have moments of selfishness that define their characters. But the only time this is ever contrasted with them is when she goes to visit the Hummels, (and then she contracts scarlet fever as a punishment?) One occurrence does not a personality trait make. We know virtually nothing about who Beth is. When viewers see Beth’s sickness and eventual death, they feel sympathy for Jo instead of mourning Beth’s character.

In fairness to Gerwig, much of this is the result of the source material instead of a directing choice. Beth was never given as much focus on Alcott’s Little Women as her sisters. For context, each of the sisters were given “chapters” that focused on their adventures and exploits. Meg has eight, Jo has fourteen, and Amy has ten. Beth has a grand total of five chapters actually centered around her point of view. So it seems obvious that in an adaptation of the source material, Beth would not have been given nearly as much precedence in the narrative.

BUT, and this is a huge but, we knew that Gerwig has no problem changing huge parts of the story she’s telling. This is not a bad thing; as I’ve already mentioned, I think it works to her advantage in many parts of this movie, namely the ending change. So it would not have been out of her scope of abilities or desires to change parts of the source material to flesh out Beth’s character in the same way she fleshed out Jo’s. The fact that she elected not to do that shows that she simply didn’t want to.

Again, this is not a bad thing. Even though it is always presented as a story of four sisters, it is no secret that Jo is the main character of both the book and basically every adaptation. It is no surprise that she is the most developed character because she is essentially the protagonist.

HOWEVER, with all of that knowledge, the thing that irks me about this movie is how the conversations around it has been giving Gerwig so much credit for how developed all of the sisters are when this just isn't true. As it turns out, it is untrue across the cases of all of the sisters.

The next most obvious is Meg. Meg’s case is arguably more egregious than Beth’s, because arc-wise, she is the one who lost the most in the book to screen adaptation. As before, let’s take a look at Meg’s major scenes:

Meg is invited to spend several weeks with her rich friends and she allows them to parade her around and turn her into someone she’s not (even if she wants to be.)

After Laurie sees her in at the party with her friends he judges her, then apologizes, and then they dance and he treats her like a lady.

When the sisters go with Laurie and company to the beach, John Brooke flirts with her, which she reciprocates.

Later on, John volunteers to go with Marmee to take care of Mr. March, and Meg kisses him on the cheek.

Before her wedding to John, Jo asks Meg to run away with her, and Meg responds that “Just because my dreams aren’t as big as yours doesn’t mean they aren’t important.”

Meg’s rich friend Sally convinces her to buy a length of expensive silk to have a dress made.

After purchasing the silk, we see Meg regretful outside her home, and she hugs her twin children.

Meg and John have a conversation about the silk, in which she tells him that she “is so tired of being poor.” When John looks hurt, she apologizes.

John comes to the March household to tell Meg that she should have her dress made. She tells him that she’s already sold it to Sally, and they make up.

Meg definitely has more focused scenes in this movie than Beth does, which makes sense, as she is clearly a more prominent character than Beth is. In the book, Meg has a total of eight focused chapters, to Beth’s five. However, proportionately, the ratio of Meg’s focused scenes to Beth’s is considerably less than the ratio of Meg’s focused chapter’s to Beth’s. This is because for whatever reason, many of the scenes that dealt heavily with Meg’s character, particularly in the second half of the book, were done away with in the movie. Meg’s lifelong dream in both the novel and the movie was to be a wife and mother, and she has an entire arc in the book that centers around that. In the movie, however, it was entirely cut out.

Look. I’m not here to pass judgements on the merits of Meg’s lifelong goal from a feminist perspective. Meg is allowed to have her dream just as Jo is. In the movie, Meg has a wonderful line right before her wedding, when Jo suggests that they run away together. “Just because my dreams are different than yours doesn’t mean they’re less important.” This is a lovely, sentimental, and even feminist take on Meg’s hopes. Desiring to be mother to a man and mother to children is not necessarily a feminist dream, but she is entitled to it just the same. Following that same logic, if you are going to go out of your way to include a line about how Meg and Jo’s dreams are equally important, they should be treated so in the narrative. At the bare minimum, Meg’s arc should be on par with the source material, but it simply isn’t.

In the second half of Little Women, Meg has several focused chapters where she learns to manage a household, comes to terms with being the wife of a poor man, and how to balance having children with having a husband. She has several important discussions with Marmee and with John that are entirely cut from the movie, and we only see her children, Daisy and Demi, twice.

To reiterate, none of this is bad filmmaking, per se. If Greta Gerwig set out to make an adaptation of Little Women that is more focused on centering Jo as the protagonist than the novel, that is perfectly fine. The problem is that Gerwig seems to think she made a more balanced adaptation than the source material, and so does everybody else.

#raetalks #little women #little women (2019)#greta gerwig #meta #saorise ronan #timothee chalamet #emma watson #florence pugh #jo march #amy march #beth march #meg march #eliza scanlen

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seawolvesanddragons · 4 years

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Quarantine Cinema: Little Women

I am going to preface this with I was a full on LW fangirl in many ways as a girl. I read the book more than once, I saw the play twice, I had the magnetic dress up dolls, saw the old movie, and read and reread a Louisa May Alcott young readers biography to the point where I can still recite a lot of random facts about her and draw out a rough timeline of her life. Funnily enough, I never read her other books, but LW was one of my few non-high fantasy adventure books that I loved (Anne of Green Gables was another) and I was so excited for this movie.

-This. Movie. Rocked. Seriously, the dual timelines, the way GG did dual storylines was so inspiring, contrasting each past and present memory so perfectly. -It FELT like Little Women, the atmosphere in each scene, the setting the angles, the coloring, it was so on point. -The only thing I really really didn’t like was the implication that she went after the professor? I don’t know if they were trying to suggest the ending wasn’t the one in real life, that she altered the book and so the movie was altered, kind of like what happened with LMA herself. I choose to believe that asexual, aromantic Jo March (or lesbian Jo March, I support that wholeheartedly) was content with her writing, her sisters, her nieces and nephews, and her school and there was no german professor, no marriage, maybe a lifetime lady companion later. -GG and the actresses really just got the sisters, and what LMA wanted from this novel. It’s not just about Jo, it’s never been just about Jo and a lot of adaptations mess that up. It’s about March family, especially the sisters. And each scene is so rich with characterization and the bonds between them.

How Meg and Jo lean on each other to take the lead for the family, how they support each other even though they have very different personalities and dreams; Meg wants a more socially/financially rich life, whereas Jo just wants to be remembered, to be free.

How while all four sisters love each other, Meg is clearly Amy’s caretaker and Jo is Beth’s and its never outright said but it’s so obvious in the way they all naturally move around each other and speak to each other. That being said, while Meg is Amy’s pair and Beth is Jo’s, the movie did great at showing how Amy looked up most to Jo, cared the most for her opinion, as well as it’s a bit of an opposite’s attract sort of situation. Meg and Amy both want fine things, yes, and to be married, but in terms of temperment and personality that’s their main similarity; Jo and Beth care less about those things and that’s the extent of their main similarity. But Amy and Jo? Both want to share their art with the world, and to be great at it, both want to see Europe, both can be rash and tempermental (though Amy does better at growing out of this, something Jo doesn’t manage by the movies end, her “unseemly” reaction at seeing Laurie, her anger with him at the ball, and her decision to follow her heart and say no to Frank are all very temperamental/emotionally-based decisions). Both also are willing to do a lot for their family - Jo cuts her hair, Amy is getting married for money because she’s practical about her family’s financial situation. They are NOT the same (and Laurie isn’t marrying Amy because she’s just a milder Jo, step off haters) - Amy is more practical, less prone to holding grudges, and more of a perfectionist than Jo, as well as more open to her own growth and shortcomings than I think Jo is. A great way to sum them up is Amy had no problems growing up, was excited for it, where as Jo dreaded it, likewise Amy wants to be accepted and like by others, she cares about their opinion, whereas Jo thrives off of people disapproving of her, of not conforming to their expectations. I could go on for hours about the intersectionality of all the March girls and their personalities but that’s another story. GG shows Aunt Marge and Mr Grandfather as softer/more understandable characters then they initially are in many adaptations and I appreciated that. -THEY ALL GOT STORYLINES. MEG GOT A STORYLINE. BETH GOT A STORYLINE. AMY GOT A DAMN GOOD STORYLINE. JO GOT A STORYLINE.

-Look that parallel of Jo waking up to Beth’s recovery to Jo waking up to Beth’s death. The colors? SR’s expressions? The silence? Guys I got so emotional; Marmie’s breakdown with Jo in her arms brought back strong memories of sitting in the hospital family grief room with my mother and sister after my dad’s sudden death, the deafening silence you hear even though there is noise, holding your sister close, the mother’s comfort even as she also is grieving...it was POWERFUL. -TC and GG did so damn good with Laurie’s storyline. Like, Laurie was in love with the whole March family, and that is so obvious from the very first moment he sees them all, he loves them, he wants to be one of them, and he also holds all of them up to a bit of a pedestal. You can see his relationship with ALL of them, not just Jo, in the Pickwick papers, his scene with Meg, his grief and lengths willing to go to help them both with Mr March and with Beth (both times) and Amy, of course. -”I was ashamed of my country for so long” “No offense, but you should still be ashamed of it” YES THIS IS WHAT ABOLITIONIST LMA WOULD HAVE WANTED -I need to just re-emphasize how much I love the storyline and characterization they gave Amy March.

I loved how Florence played her, truly truly did, but the only hard thing about the timelines was her character. Amy is supposed to be young for much of the past timeline scene, but the actress stays largely the same. I appreciate the change in clothes and hair style as she goes from girl to young lady, but I just couldn’t see her as a girl when it is so clearly a young woman playing her; a 23 year old playing a 12 year old girl. That is the one critique I have, and I honestly do believe that having the actress change as she grew up would lose a lot of the power of Amy’s storyline, so I wouldn’t actually change it. -Meryl Streep is always a win -I loved how much of a FAMILY they were. Like, the sisters fought, they argued, they disapproved and didn’t understand each other all the time, but they were also always there for each other when it was needed, they genuinly LIKED spending time together, and I loved how they all supported each other’s hobbies and dreams, the playacting, Jo’s writing, Amy’s dreams, none of them looked down or said “this is childish” or “this is improper”, I just loved it.

#little women #little women 2019 #jo march #beth march #amy march #meg march #laurie laurence #greta gerwig #louisa may alcott

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hellsitesonlybookclub · 1 year

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Little Women, Louisa May Alcott

Chapter 17-18

XVII.

LITTLE FAITHFUL.

"Meg, I wish you'd go and see the Hummels; you know mother told us not to forget them," said Beth, ten days after Mrs. March's departure.

"I'm too tired to go this afternoon," replied Meg, rocking comfortably as she sewed.

"Can't you, Jo?" asked Beth.

"Too stormy for me with my cold."

"I thought it was almost well."

"It's well enough for me to go out with Laurie, but not well enough to go to the Hummels'," said Jo, laughing, but looking a little ashamed of her inconsistency.

"Why don't you go yourself?" asked Meg.

Beth spoke earnestly, and Meg promised she would go to-morrow.

"Ask Hannah for some nice little mess, and take it round, Beth; the air will do you good," said Jo, adding apologetically, "I'd go, but I want to finish my writing."

"My head aches and I'm tired, so I thought may be some of you would go," said Beth.

"Amy will be in presently, and she will run down for us," suggested Meg.

"Well, I'll rest a little and wait for her."

"Christopher Columbus! What's the matter?" cried Jo, as Beth put out her hand as if to warn her off, and asked quickly,—

"You've had the scarlet fever, haven't you?"

"Years ago, when Meg did. Why?"

"Then I'll tell you. Oh, Jo, the baby's dead!"

"What baby?"

"Mrs. Hummel's; it died in my lap before she got home," cried Beth, with a sob.

219 "My poor dear, how dreadful for you! I ought to have gone," said Jo, taking her sister in her arms as she sat down in her mother's big chair, with a remorseful face.