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#she asked why he doesnt have shoes on
lasth3avena month ago
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sending the jk music video to my best friend who doesnt give a shit about parx and shes just giggling over the phone.
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icanttakethemonmyown2 months ago
*thinks about enemies to lovers Sam and Andrew*
*thinks about normal Sam and Andrew*
*thinks about how Seamus lives in both universes rent-free only in one he has parents who live together and in the other it's co-parenting*
*thinks about how (enemies to lovers) Andrew would spend the night at Sam's place because they're both worried about Seamus for a health reason that they think is serious but it's not*
*thinks about how Sam and Andrew would have their Golden Girls moment and share coffee and cheesecake after staying up all night because they're still worried about Seamus*
*Seamus sleeps on the bed while their both sat down on the bedroom floor and quietly swap stories about naughty things he did while it was their weekend with him*
the thought of seamus living life as the child of a separated couple just MADE MY DAY skfjskska
"okay so i have to take you to your father this weekend, but you know i love you the best, right?.....if you chew through one of his shoes, ill get you some treats, do we have a deal?"
also seamus as the catalyst for enemies to lovers Sam and Andrew getting together is just *chefs kiss*, poetic cinema, we love to see it, etc. because they are bonding without realising they're bonding and seamus (the absolute mastermind that he is) is just observing his pawns both giggling over cups of coffee, thinking "everything is going according to plan" 馃槒
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kobunnie4 days ago
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Blisters >:c ( TBHK ) ;
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Hanako, Natsuhiko, Akane
猡 summary ; In which you have blisters on your heels.
猡 word count ; 0.8k
猡 genre ; fluff
猡 warnings ; cursing
猡 pronouns ; she / her
猡 a/n ; self comfort, i have blisters on my heels rn and one popped and i feel like i cant walk. also natsuhikos got long鈥 uhm oops fjenjfbe
唳 enjoy <3
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唳 HANAKO ( YUGI AMANE ) ;
doesnt understand why youre in so much pain
somehow never has had a blister and will never be able to have a blister
honestly just a lucky bastard
but when you tell him about your blister pain he doesnt know how to help you
kinda just stares unsure and sort of guilty that he cant do much
鈥渇ucking shit,鈥 you murmured as you walked slowly into the bathroom, practically limping
鈥測/n~鈥 hanako sung, running towards you to embrace you in a hug. he squished his arms around you and leaned into your body.
you stumbled backwards, hissing in pain. hanako quickly pulled away, frowning. 鈥測/n?鈥
you watched as his face dropped, the fear that you didnt like him anymore evident in his expression.
鈥渘o, no, its not like that鈥斺 you said, leaning against the wall and sliding your shoe off 鈥渋 have blisters鈥
鈥渂listers?鈥
鈥渦h yeah, theyre just like raw skin and hurt a lot鈥
鈥渙h鈥 and then hed just hug you, wrap you up in his arms and hug you tight. no words are needed and he doesnt offer anything, he just hugs you and thats all you need
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唳 NATSUHIKO HYUUGA ;
straight up princess carries you everywhere
this mans a simp, say the word and hell do anything for you
he just loves you so much and doesnt ever want to see the person he loves in pain
he also loves to be the one that you rely on, wants to be the person you trust the most, so he does anything for you
knows that he can pick you up and carry you confidently no matter what
even if you dont think he should carry you, hes going to carry you no matter what you have to say
besides, if you were in so much pain it wouldnt matter much, natsuhikos there to pick you up and relieve the pain
in short, hed do anything for you regardless if it embarrasses him and / or you in the process
the two of you were walking through the cherry blossom festival, admiring all the flowers and the kites drifting about in the sky. it was a lot of walking that you didnt quite prepare for, and after about an hour of walking your shoes started to feel very very uncomfortable. you didnt know why, but just brushed it off and continued walking. that was a big mistake. a few seconds later you felt a horrible pain on your left ankle, and wouldve collapsed to the ground if natsuhiko hadnt caught you
natsuhiko glanced worriedly at you 鈥渨hoa, y/n, whats wrong?鈥
鈥渕y feet hurt鈥 you mumbled
you sat down on a bench and slid your shoes off, almost passing out at the sight of the blisters. blisters, disgusting little things that should exist.
鈥渢his is going to hurt so bad to walk鈥攊 mean, blisters, youve got to be kidding me鈥
and then hes just lifting you up into his arms, princess style. you didnt fight him, which made him happy. under normal circumstances you wouldve protested as you were surrounded by people, but you were just in too much pain to care
鈥渄ont worry, princess~ ill carry you wherever you need鈥 natsuhiko said, the biggest prideful smile on his face
you placed a quick kiss on his cheek, 鈥渙kay, my prince, shall we go home, then?鈥
鈥測es ill carry you all the way~ and ill keep carrying you whenever you need me to鈥
oh, natsuhiko wouldnt be just carrying you when you asked, hed be carrying you every second of the day until your blisters went away if he was rewarded with 鈥渕y prince鈥 and a kiss
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唳 AOI AKANE ;
introducing the second simp (hard to tell whos the bigger simp, akane or natsuhiko)
very similar to natsuhiko, akane would pick you up and carry you if need be
but the difference is that while natsuhiko does it regardless what you say, akane would listen to your every word
you rather he didnt carry you in public? then he wont, hell go find a cart or a scooter or bike or something else so you dont walk
might even steal a baby stroller who knows, anything for you鈥攈is y/n
you two were just walking home from a quick errand to the store when you stopped, trying to adjust your feet in your shoe.
鈥測/n? are you okay?鈥 akane asked, worry filling his voice.
you waved him off. 鈥渋 think so.鈥
the two of you started to walk again and your feet were fine for a second before you were in pain again. your heel felt like it was on fire and you gripped a nearby pole for balance.
鈥渙h fucking shit no鈥斺
panic flooded akanes face as he watched you. 鈥測/n, whats wrong?鈥
鈥渋 think i have blisters on my heel鈥斺
鈥渃an i pick you up?鈥 he interrupted you immediately
you stared at him, and smiled 鈥減lease?鈥
鈥淎NYTHING FOR YOU MY LOVE鈥
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thatsallotadamage5 days ago
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MHA FIC: Birds of a feather flock together
Desc: theres a new PE teacher at UA, what's not to like? Hes a retired underground hero, his quirk is awesome! But he doesnt like certain groups of people, specifically mutation quirks. This is a problem for Tokoyami and he confides in his mentor about it. (Also in this AU All Might was the PE tecaher)
@ashtonistevibe come get your juice. Seriously though if it wasnt for you I wouldn't have finished this thing. I started it in December and fir some reason yesterday just sparked me to write more today and here we are with a 6,700 word fic. Also sorry the ending is kinda wonky.
___
Note: I usually use they/it pronouns for DS but I started writing this back in December of 2020 before I did that so he/they pronouns for dark shadow in this story
__
"So All might really isn't coming?" Sero asked as he slipped on his gym shoes. "Nope, hes helping out with some legal stuff right now so till the court date hes not allowed to come in contact with the Hero course during school hours" Midoriya explained. Even he didn't know the full reason why Allmight wasn't there but he told all he could to his friends. "Wonder who our teachers going to be, flex tape pass me the Axe" Bakugou said as he was tossed a spray can. He applied way, way to much but, hes a sweaty boy.
"Its gotta be someone who is good with hand to hand so maybe Mirko? I saw her hanging around the teachers lounge the other day" Shouji added as tied his shoe laces. "Maybe, but she would let us wear our costumes right?" Midorya said and started his mumbling tangent. Whomever this new teacher was didn't want them using there hero outfits as Aizawa had instructed then not to change into them before he left for the teachers lounge
Tokoyami didn't pay much attention, dark shadow was requesting sweets in the ridiculously deep voice he could do. No matter how many times Fumi said no the creature of darkness wouldn't listen to him. He bent down to put his socks on, unbeknownst to him Dark Shadow was creeping across the locker room floor and snagged Sato's protein bar. "Hey give it back!' Sato pressed. Dark shadow meirly laughed him off and hurried back, chattering as he did so but Fumikage didn't seem to notice it. He simply grabbed his things and hurried out of the locker rooms out to the gym.
It was a strange feeling, usually when hero training came along everyone would be ushered outside to the training grounds. But here they stood in a normal gym where the Gen Ed kids played basketball and volleyball. Soon Tokoyami and Dark Shadow were joined by the rest of the boys but something weird was going on but he couldn't put his finger on it. Tokoyami spaced out as he started thinking about other classes since the teacher was seemingly not there yet. That's when he was tapped on the shoulder by Sato. He turned and looked at him "Greetings Sato, can I help you?" He asked. Satou chuckled "Tokoyami no need to be so formal man, I just came to tell you that your quirk snagged my protein bar" he said "it just looked like you didn't notice" he told him.
Tokoyami felt a wave of embarrassment wash over him "I'm so sorry, he was pleading with me for sweets I didn't realize he took your snack, Dark Shadow come here and apologised to Sato" he scolded. Sato shook his head "No no it's okay, I have other ones, you dont have to make it come out" he said to him. Tokoyami but back to urge to correct him into saying "He" instead of "it" but refrained from doing so. He could see the glint of fear on Sato's face when he mentioned bringing Dark Shadow out. "Very well, I will buy you another at lunch tomorrow". Sato was about to reject the offer but was cut short by a man walking out of a door and into the gym.
"Good morning students!" The teacher called out with a smile on his face. His smile was bright, his face gave off a kind, friendly vibe to it. His outfit was vibrant. Especially his cape and Tokoyami could hear Midoriya mumbling about who this guy was from half way across the gym. Though his hero outfit reminded him do much of someone else, the knight armor and large flowing cape....Aoyama, the guys outfit looked like Aoyama's. Tokoyami knew what Aoyama's hero outfit looked like by memory, the thing was coated in shiny glitter paint and with certain bird attributes he often tried to hide he really really liked shiny things. And Aoyana was indeed dazzling, but this guy wasn't.
He listened as the hero started to talk "Well let's start with introductions shall we?" The man stepped forward, his metal boots clanking against the floor. "I am Hikaru Yatsu, the capture hero: Snow Globe" he spoke with pride. He ran his fingers through his long brown hair and tied it back in a pony tail "Today you will not be using your quirks in combat, this will be a test of your pure physical strength". Tokoyami did not like the sound of that, not including mineta he was the shortest and weakest compared to the other boys and list of the girls. "Though I do need to know your quirks, so let's start at this end and work our way down" he pointed to the right side of the line. Tokoyami was relieved that he wasn't first, but also didn't like being the last.
It went on with people introducing themselves by name and explaining their quirks. Tokoyami observed him as people were introducing themselves. He really, really did not like the look he got when Tsuyu introduced herself. He prayed in his mind that this guy wouldn't be like that, maybe he just didn't like the tongue thing?.
Next up was Kouda, Yatsu stared at him, waiting and raised an eyebrow "Well?" He asked. Kouda opened his mouth to speak but only a whimper came out and he looked down. "Speak up I can't hear you" he said sternly to the student.
"Sir hes mute sometimes" Hagarakure interrupted "Kouda's quirk is communicating with animals" she explained for him. He gave her a grateful look and she replied with a thumbs up back. The teacher didnt seem all to impressed "I thought he was going to be a rock or something, anyways next" he said, ignoring the concerned looks people were giving to Kouda.
Sato introduced himself, explained what his quirk did and then it was Tokoyami's turn. The teacher started talking the second Sato finished. Tokoyami didn't want to say anything so that was fine with him, but Shoji didn't like that. "Excuse me sensei but you forgot Tokoyami" he spoke up. Snow Globe looked over with an unreadable expression.
"Oh, I just assumed his quirk had something to do with flying? Bird head and all" he said.
Tokoyami held his tounge and shook his head, flying? He didnt even have wings!. Staying silent was the best thing to do in a situation like this, he'd learned that after years and years of it. "No sir, my quirk is Dark Shadow" DS poked his head out from under his shirt and said hello. "While I do have bird like features i assure you my bird qualities do not affect my quirk aside from his shape" he explained. Snow Globe meirly nodded and went along, explaining what they'd be doing that day and such.
Hand to hand combat, no quirks allowed unless someone had a mutation quirk they couldn't control. The rules were simple, anything was allowed as long as it wasn't biting or a cheap shot on a guy. Everyone would be partnered up and tested on their strengths. If a quirk was activated on accident it was automatically the opponents win. Tokoyami was worried, when he was getting hurt Dark Shadow always wanted to defend him and when he couldn't Tokoyami had a bad habit of squaking and making other various bird noises. He hated it but it was part of him that he couldn't control, no matter how good he was at masking these desires.
Tokoyami was even more displeased when it was his turn, he was being pinned against Ojiro, the kid known for being ripped as hell under those clothes he wore. He stared at the floor they'd be using, it was just the boxing ring the gen ed kids used but for some reason it was scary to Tokoyami, a wide open space with nowhere dark to hide. He didn't like it. He watched Midoriya pick up Jirou like a paperweight, still gushing apologies for hitting her so hard in the face. Jirou didn't seem to mind very much and just wanted a tissue for her bloody nose. The teacher announced that the next people should go.
Tokoyami took a deep breath as he walked into the ring he glanced back at his teacher, he tried to smile and wave to be seen as friendly even though he rarely did it to his class mates. He found out a long time ago that if you dont give them a reaction and act like what they say doesn't affect you then they will ignore you.
Tokoyami felt the adeline rushing through his veins as he started squabbling with Ojiro. He thought he was doing well, he could hear Shoji cheering for him on the sidelines, it made him feel good. But just as he thought he was going to push him over he was tripped by a tail and his skull was dragged into a headlock. He squaked loudly as he struggled and before he realized what was happening Ojiro had let go and was yelling obscenities, but Tokyami hadn't let go, he couldn't he was stress gripping onto Ojiro's wrist.
The whistle was blown and Tokoyami felt utter confusion untill he looked at Ojiro. He was bleeding and trying to get Tokoyami off of him. He recognized the metallic taste in his mouth, blood. He bit him, oh God he bit him like a damn animal. "Ojiro! My apologies I did not realize- I am so so very sorry" he said, trying to let go of him. Yatsu blew a whistle "You! get over here!" He barked. Tokoyami couldn't look at him, he was focused on trying to let go and eventually he did. Ojiro stumbled backwards and held his wrist, Tokoyami could see a bruise forming "I'm so sorry-" Tokoyami squaked again when the back of his head was grabbed by the feathers "Off" the teacher demanded.
Tokoyami got off the floor and went to go sit by his other class mates as Ojiro was ushered to the nurse office. The feathers on the back of his head were broken, he had to get them out, they itched and ached horribly but snow Globe was there. He reached for the back of his head but stopped when he saw their new teacher walking over to him. "Tokoyuga" he said. "Tokoyami" the teen corrected him "Yeah yeah, come here" he said.
Tokoyami hesitantly got up from his seat and walked over "I'm very sorry what I did to Ojiro was uncceptable, I was acting on instinct" he said. Yatsu scoffed "Yeah I know, you have those...animal instincts dont you?" he said "Come, stand infront of me, since I can't trust you with basic rules like not biting you will sit in this bubble for the rest of class" he said. Tokoyami did as he was told with a reluctant glare. "Would you rather I muzzle you?" The teacher asked and he quickly dropped his gaze.
He didn't like the ball, he could still hear and see everything that was going on but all he could smell was himself. But it would be over after class right?
It hadn't stopped, it had been two weeks and Tokoyami wanted to tell someone about it, but the rest of the class liked Yatsu, they thought his quirk was amazing and he often told them stories of capturing villians before his retirement from being a pro. They often talked about how cool it was to have another underground hero be teaching them like Eraserhead. So it continued, it felt like every class period he was given a reason to be put in the bubble or be isolated from the rest of the class and his grade started to fall because of it.
He didn't want to upset his classmates, it was fine he could deal with it on his own. But it was getting annoying hearing the teacher click his tongue whenever Tokoyami went to preen his feathers after sparing. There wasn't enough time to do it in the locker rooms and while Yatsu never said anything really mean about it, his judging eyes were always on Tokoyami and he'd make comments about his feathers and affinity for shiny things, since be couldn't stop staring at Aoyama during sparing sessions. The back handed and loaded compliments were an issue to, "Pretty good birdie" or "You're a smart kid for a bird brain". But he could ignore those. By far the worst thing he did was how he grabbed him, with the students if one wasn't paying attention then Snow Globe would grab them by the hair and turn them around. No biggie, but it was a big deal when he grabbed Tokoyami since his grip was hard enough to snap a few feathers. When Tokoyami brought this up Yatsu meirly nodded and said he'd stop, but he didn't.
___
Tokoyami took a deep breath as he walked into the Hero commission building looking for Hawks. The man wasn't at his agency or apartment and Toloyami was starting to get worried about his whereabouts since they were supposed to meet at four and it was already five thirty. He ran his fingers through his feathers, wincing when he grazed over broken ones, he just hadn't had the time to pluck them out yet since hero training as his last class that day. He walked up to the front desk "Pardon my intrusion but do you know if my mentor is here?" He asked. The desk woman looked him up and down "You looking for Hawks little pigeon?" She asked. Tokoyami nodded, ignoring the pigeon comment "Yes I am" he said.
She sighed and pointed "Go down that hallway to your right, hes in a meeting right now" she told him. Tokoyami thanked her and headed in that direction. He say down in a chair outside the office and waited, doing his homework as he did so. He wanted to pick at the itching on his head, but he was in a public place, there were no trash cans in sight and he doubted they'd like feathers all over the floor.
He got a good chunk of his english done before the door opened and a very pissed off looking Hawks came out. His anger faded as he slammed the door and looked over "Tsukuyomi?" He questioned. Tokoyami nodded "Yes, you said you wanted to meet me at four, it is now six" he said. He wanted to ask what had ruffled Hawks feathers, but decided he'd do so later away from the commission.
Hawks frowned "Gee kid I'm sorry I didn't realize it was that late, well I'm about to go grab some dinner since it's a friday night and all, you wanna come? I'll pay" He asked with a pleading smile. How could Tokoyami say no to that? "Sure I will accompany you" he said and stood up. "Great! I'll follow you kiddo, got any preferances?" Hawks asked. Tokoyami thought about it for a minute "How about Korean barbecue?" He looked at Hawks who seemed to light up at the idea. "Yeah! I love that stuff!" In reality he lived eating his meat raw but he could make it look cooked at the Korean places. "Alright, follow along then, I know a very good place that is fairly cheap" the bird headed boy said and started walking with his backpack over his shoulder.
It wasn't every day that he and Hawks got to chill out and hang with each other but he appreciated those days. Hawks was like an older sibling to him someone he could look up to when he couldn't look up to his own parents. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked out the doors. Hawks followed close behind, but it wasn't long untill Hawks noticed the feather damage as they walked down the sidewalk. He knew what it felt like to have broken feathers stuck in skin "Hey Tsukuyomi, have you not been grooming yourself lately?" He asked.
Tokoyami grew a bit stiff when he brought that up, he hoped he wouldn't notice, he decided to play dumb. "Yes I have been grooming myself" he told him and quickened his pace. Hawks knew what it looked like to be lied to "Dark Shadow tell me what happened" Hawks demanded and kept following. Dark shadow poked their head out from under Tokoyami's hero costume "Fumi got his feathers snapped during sparing when he got grabbed" they said. "Silence Dark Shadow!" Tokoyami scolded, flustered as all hell.
Hawks crossed his arms "Tsukuyomi! You know better than to leave broken feathers in your skin!" He scolded. Tokoyami's feathers puffed up as he tried to stay calm "I know I just haven't had the time" he said and kept walking. "Then sit down, I'll pick them out for you" Hawks instructed him. Tokoyami shook his head "No thank you, I appreciate your offer...but...Hawks?" He turned around and Hawks was sitting down on the curb "Come here, you're not taking those out at the restraunt" he huffed.
Tokoyami really didn't like this but nonetheless he sat down in front of Hawks and let him preen the feathers at the back of his head.
Hawks really didnt like the sight of this, to many feathers were broken for this to just have been sparing, and to many tiny feathers had been damaged or lost for this just to be a one time thing. Tokoyami rarely was ever in close range combat. "So who'd you fight with today?" He asked and plucked a feather. Tokoyami bit his tongue to keep from making a coo, it felt so nice to have someone else pluck feathers, he guessed this is what it feels like for others when someone scratches their head for them.
"Just with Momo, she went for a cheap shot and made a flash light" he said bitterly, Hawks could practically hear Dark Shadows whimpers from under the cape.
"I see" he said "So, how'd this happen then?" He asked and flicked the top of his head.
Tokoyami tended to and was about to tell him hut restrained himself. "Hawks... when we're at dinner can I tell you something important. Its personal?" He asked.
Hawks smiled "Of course! You can tell me now if you'd like" he offered but Tokoyami just shook his head, saying it was a private affair and he didn't wish to speak of it out in the open like this.
So Hawks finished up relatively quickly, but carefully as he didnt want to hurt him. When they started walking again Tokoyami had told him "You have my gratitude for what you've done for me here today". he tried not to laugh at Tokoyami's way of saying thanks. The kid was so extra over the top and he loved it. Soon they got a booth in the restaurant and started looking over the menu as they sat down in a booth.
Tokoyami took off his cape and set it aside on the leather seats of the booth and Hawks did the same with his jacket, but kept his gloves on of course. At first Tokoyami would've been weirded out by it, but after working with Hawks for so long he wasnt phased, he only saw under the gloves once and understood why he preferred to keep his hands hidden. Bird features weren't pretty, people liked a handsome man with wings popping out of his back, they didnt like other bird features like feathers mixed with hair, scaly hands and feet or talons. In Tokoyami's eyes, wings were cool, a bird head ontop of a human body was not.
"So are you going to tell me what's going on or are you just going to keep staring at that salt dispenser?" Hawks asked. Tokoyami snapped out of his daydreaming and looked back up at him "Oh uh...well" he had to explain it but why was he so scared?. "We got a new PE teacher, I'm sure you're aware of the court case All Might is in now, and due to the nature of it he isn't allowed around UA during school hours so they had to hire another teacher" he paused and looked at Hawks. "Everyone likes him, hes a cool underground hero with a cool quirk that makes bubbles to capture people".
Hawk's features dropped, he knew exactly who he was talking about why the hell had Nezu of all people allowed him into the school to teach? He had met Snow Globe on a few occasions and overheard him talking to other Heroes, mainly complaining about people like Gang Orca, Miruko and himself. To be frank he didn't like people with mutation quirks a whole lot, mainly animal mutation quirks. And with Tokoyami's bird head and other bird features he stood out like a sore thumb.
"When he came we had to fight each other quirkless and I'm not physically very strong" he paused, unsure of what Hawks would think of him. "I was so focused on not getting hurt that I...I- a bird noise came out, I squaked and bit Ojiro and my hands locked up in a stress grip so he couldn't pull away, I was squeezing to hard and I hurt his arm really bad but I couldn't move my hands and" he took a deep breath. "My apologies I shouldn't be venting to you like this, I just don't know who else to tell since everyone likes him so much" he said.
Hawks looked ready to commit murder, he was about to ask him to go on but was interrupted by the waiter "Excuse me are you ready to order?" She asked. Hawks picked up the menu, Tokoyami made his order and so did Hawks before the woman left. Tokoyami sat in silence while Hawks waited for him to continue. "Tsukuyomi it's okay I don't mind, can you continue the story" that wasn't a question it was a command.
Tokoyami fiddled with the menu in his hands for awhile "Well, remember how I mentioned he had a bubble quirk?" Hawks did not like where this was going. "He put me in the bubble for the rest of class, when I tried to preen my feathers he looked at me with this look- he didnt say anything but he just looked grossed out and I don't blame him" he said. He averted his gaze "Every time I'm in class it seems like he puts me and Dark shadow in the bubble or away from everyone- and it isng just me! He tries to isolate the physically mutated kids from the others-" he sniffled. "And when I make a bird noise he looks grossed out and tells me to cut it out and I don't blame him, it sounds strange but I can't control it when I'm taken by surprise...thank you for listening" Tokoyami said and continued staring down at his empty plate.
Yep, Hawks was ready to commit murder. This guy had crossed a line. "Havent you told Eraserhead?" He asked.
Tokoyami shook his head "No, while I trust Aizawa sensei with my life I am- Well you see to put it plainly, I'm scared he won't take it seriously, I'm probably over exaggerating anyways, ive been told I'm always over dramatic" he said.
Hawks stared at his student for awhile, the whole reason he had gotten Tokoyami as his intern was. because birds of a feather flock together. Tokoyami had bird tendencies that Hawks himself wasn't allowed to show people, he wasn't allowed to make bird noises like screech, caw, coo or anything like that, he couldn't let the tiny feathers that grew in his hair grow, he had to keep gloves over his scale hands and talons which were always cut to short and god forbid let anyone see his bird feet. But when it was just him and Tsukuyomi in private he'd occassionally let a coo slip from his lips, wear shiny earrings and even eat raw meat like he did when he hung out with the league of villians. So you could only imagine the rage that formed in him when he found out his pupil was being told his noises were gross and that the basic need to preen his broken feathers was being looked down upon as something gross.
"Fumikage" he said, using his given name "Your noises are not gross, you doing the basic need to preen your feathers is not gross and nothing about your bird qualities is gross, they are simply just you" he spoke with seriousness. Tokoyami twiddled with his thumbs "Hawks please do not lie to me, with your mutation you have wings, wings are cool and people like wings, people don't like a sentient quirk fused into a person with a bird for a head" Tokoyami told him. That broke Hawk's heart to hear him talk so lowly of himself.
The waitress came by and dropped off the meat, be thanked her and without thinking started munching in some pork without cooking it, damn did it taste good. Dark shadow popped out from behind Tokoyami and snagged a peice of meat to munch on aswell "Can we eat this raw?" He asked. Hawks nodded "If you don't get sick from it sure go nuts" he said.
Tokoyami really didn't feel like eating but he picked up a peice of beef and munched on it. Hawks cleared his throat to speak again "Who cares what other people think? If you go about your life fretting about something like the head you were born with you'll get nowhere" he stated. "A hero has to be confident, even if that confedence is faked you have to save face for those around you" he told him gentilly.
Tokoyami listened to him "I know I shouldn't care but it's hard not to when it's the first thing people notice when meeting me" he said.
Hawks took a deep inhale "Well...what about your mom and dad? They fell in love with each other right? One of em was able to overlook the others appearance-" Hawks was shocked as he was cut off by laughter. Tokoyami and Dark Shadow were laughing, his little ebony darkness dementia raven ways were laughing. "What? What is it?" He asked.
(Taking this from the canon, twisting it a bit. Yes Tokoyami was canonically born a bird and became a person)
Tokoyami finally composed himself "Hawks I dont have parents I was born a bird" he said. He could practically see the "Hawks.exe has stopped" screen appear.
"What?" Hawks asked, dumbfounded.
"I was born a bird and just one day started growing human parts one day, I don't know nor do I wish to know the details but soon I was a baby with a bird head and I was put in a foster home" he explained.
Hawks looked horrified, but said nothing as his mind wandered. "So, are you still in foster care?" He asked.
Tokoyami shrugged "Kind of? Aizawa is technically my legal guardian while on UA campus but if you're asking if I was ever adppted the answer is no" he explained. Hawks bookmarked that in his mind, he decided he wanted a little brother.
The rest of the night was spent chatting about miscellaneous things, Hawks offering to take him flying again and so on. But Hawks was hatching a plan in his mind as to what to do about that PE teacher.
___
"Are you certain? I apologize but I dodny see anything like that in his resume" Nezu said with interest. Hawks sat in his office, explaining to him exactly what Tokoyamu had told him a week prior.
"I'm certain, my intern wouldn't lie, especially not about something like this" he explained "He told me in a moment of weakness after I had to preen his feathers, Yatsu crushed them when grabbing him" he explained.
"I see, well Hawks, I'll let you supervise, how does that sound? Heres my plan...".
__
It had been a full week since Tokoyami had told Hawks about what happened and yet nothing had changed. He was loosing hope that his PE grade was ever going to climb back up to its former glory. He was the last to emerge from the changing room just behind Shouji. He stretched and walked over to the starting line for warm ups.
Though he could sense something was somewhere in the room, watching, looking and keeping an eye on him. He hated the feeling but he couldn't shake it when class started.
Keigo stared down at his pupil from the gym rafters. He'd gotten special permission from Nezu to supervise. And by special permission he means he threatened him into letting him.
___
Class went along as usual, but it was sparing day with no quirks again. Tsuyu already had to sit out for 'talking back' during class yesterday when she protested that she should be allowed to use her tounge in a training exercise. Tokoyami wasn't sure he could do it, due to these things happening he was more angry and lately Dark Shadow had been out all the time, more protective and aggressive than they usually were. "Fumi I don't like this" he said, tugging at the cloak at they were paired up against Todorki. "What's the point? We're getting in trouble anyways, let's just go apeshit and kill-"
"Dark Shadow!" Tokoyami said abruptly, straightening his posture and stiffening up. He glanced at his friends before turning away and whispering to his quirk "no, we arent going to kill anyone, you still want to be a hero with me right? Then we have to keep our cool and that includes you" he said sternly.
"I hate this, I hate PE! It's such a dumb class and you always get hurt!" They said angrily.
"I know you dont like it and I don't either but we must be civil-" the whistle was blown and Tokoyami turned his attention to the ring, watching Shouji and Kouda fight was a hell of a good time.
_
Keigo hated that look on Yatsu's face. He was watching the battle with disgust and intrest. That's how a certain commission scientist used to look at him, the one that complained about people with "ya know, zoo quirks" as she always put it. Eventually Shouji was pinned to the ground and Kouda reigned victorious. The boy grinned ear to ear, he'd been working on his strength lately and being able to take down Shouji was a huge deal in the class.
"Haha good job boulder!" Snow Globe said, using the nickname he'd given the boy awhile back and giving him a pat on the back. He'd 'nicknamed' a few of the students based on appearance.
"Thank you sir" Kouda said quickly with a shy smile.
"You'd think an octopus would be stronger than that huh?" The teacher jabbed his thumb towards Shouji who was on the bend drinking water.
"Haha yeah I guess" Kouda said nervously but the thing he called Shouji left a sour taste I'm his mouth.
Keigo refrained from clapping and instead just smiled ear to ear, giving a thumbs up to the boy dispite not being able to be seen. He watched with interest as Tokoyami and Dark shadow walked into the ring with Todorki. The two were excited to fight eachother since they had been workout buddies for the past couple weeks since Izuku started working on legs with Iida more often.
"Ready for a..." Todoroki paused and thought to himself 'How do I do tough guy talk, think...what would Bakugou say?' He thought for awhile before finally saying "An ass wooping?" He asked.
Tokoyami laughed at the idea "See if you can keep up Shoto-" he was cut short when the whistle was blown. That's weird. They hadn't even shaken hands yet-
"Disqualified!" Yatsu's words rang like a bell in Tokoyami's head.
"What? We havent even fought yet" Todorki argued.
"Tokoyuga has his quirk in use" the teacher said, pointing to Dark Shadow, who was hovering just above Tokoyami.
"What?! I can shrink back in I'm sorry! I just I up give Shoto a handshake! Fumi's grade has dropped so much already" Dark Shadow protested
Tokoyami sighed deeply, feeling his face heat up as his grade was revealed "Silence Dark Shadow! leave it Todoroki its fine" he said and started to walk off the mat, hearing the murmurs of his classmates. "I suspect you'd like me to go sit over there? Or in the bubble? Or would you like to muzzle me instead?" He asked with venom, tired of all this bullshit.
Keigo took this as his spot to make an entrance. Seeing how unfairly the situation had went down. He flew down from the rafters and stood right next to the ring "Hey kiddos!" He said with a beaming expression.
Tokoyami froze in his tracks. dear god no. Why hath he been forsaken? Why was his mentor here? "Hawks!" Dark Shadow squealed with excitement and ran? Flew? Over to Hawks for a hug, dragging Fumikage behind him rather harshly.
"Control yourself Dark shadow!" He scolded them.
"You want a hug to don't lie Fumi!" They laughed and kept their arms (?) Around Hawks as he hugged them back.
Snow Globe scowled "I'm very sorry Hawks but you're interrupting my class period" he said with a huff and crossed his arms over his chest. "What do you need?" He asked.
"Oh nothing much, Nezu just wanted me to pop in and spy on you Snow!" He laughed jokingly. "Ya know he found out about some stuff from your past I guess and wanted me to come check it out, but I guess its not like what he suspected, just have to ask your students about it is all" he shrugged and turned to Dark Shadow "Hey bro ya gotta let go of me for a bit, badass moment ya know?" He said. Dark shadow pouted and let go of him, shrinking back to Tokoyami.
Snow Globe got very defensive and raised his eyebrows "You have no authority to do so-"
"Go ahead, call Nezu right now and he'll tell you I can do this" Hawks said, his wings on edge and his piercing gaze directed straight at the elder.
Snow Globe took a deep breath "Go ahead, I don't see how anything can possibly be this important that something like you can flutter into my classroom and interrupt my lesson" he stood off to the side and smiled at his students with an apologetic gaze. "Be nice to Mr. Pigeon over here" he mocked.
Hawks glared at him and took a step forward "Who here by show of hands has felt discriminated against in PE class for the way they look?" He asked.
The chatter stopped ,eyes were on certain individuals. Dark Shadow of course bolted up and started waving his hands wildly "Me! Me and Fumi! We have! We told you at the restaurant remember?". Tokoyami had never looked more humiliated in his life, this was happening because of him.
But after Dark shadow raised his hand Mina looked over nad hesitantly raised hers "Yes he calls me a slug or alien a lot" she said hesitantly. Murmurs erupted around the room but soon Shouji and Kouda raised their hands, then Tsuyu and Hagakure and finally Ojiro.
Hawks took put his phone and quickly took a picture "Do each of your mind coming and talking with me out in the hallway for a tesitmony? Away from everyone else?" He asked. The children nodded and one by one went out to the hall with Keigo. Yatsu never looked so pissed off, he didn't dare utter a word and instead stormed off to his office.
_
"I'm a frog person not a toad!" Tsuyu vented in frustration, twiddling her thumbs "I just- I didnt want to say anything since everyone else likes him kero" she explained and sniffled.
"That's exactly what all your friends have been saying Tsuyu, thank you for being able to tell me all of this okay?" He said to her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.
"You're welcome mr. Hawks, but Mr. Yatsu won't get hurt from this will he?" She asked. Even through this the girl still had a heart of gold.
He shook his head "Hes going to be fired of course but I dont think he'll get physically hurt" that was a lie, the second Dabi found out what happened Snow Globe was going to be toast. But she needed comfort right now. "I think I've got everyone I need, looks like the bells about to ring, you should head back in" he said. She gave him a quick hug and thanked him before hurrying back inside.
After the bell rang and the students shuffled off to their next class, Hawkz headed into the gym.he told the next class it was a study hall before heading to Yatsu's office. He walked in and closed the door, his cheerful demeanor was gone and all that remained was a harsh scowl.
"Are you happy? You got me fired?" Yatsu asked with anger "Do you know how childish andpetth that was? All because I laughed at you at a photo shoot-".
"You didn't just laugh at me, you were using slurs to describe my friends" Hawks corrected him. "And I didn't do this because of a stupid grudge, my pupil came to me with an issue, Tokoyami never comes to me with issues, you hurt him physically and mentally like you'd I'd with those other students! Dont call me petty when you're the one taking out your anger on children just because they look different!" He snapped. "I hope you take a long look in the mirror and fix it Snow but untill then stay the hell away from my kid" okay that came out wrong.
"Leave Hawks, I would like to pack my things in peace" the other said and started packing up his things.
______
"Pistachio please, in a chocolate cone" Dark Shadow asked the person behind the icecream counter.
"I'll have Strawberry and Carmel with peanuts and bird seed on it please" Tokoyami said and pulled out his wallet.
"No put that back Fumi" Keigo scolded and turned to the cashier "Can I get three scoops of triple fudge in a chocolate cone with seeds ontop?" He ordered and pulled out his credit card. Handing it over the three got their treats and sat down to eat, the other two thanking him.
"I apologize if this question offends you but why are we eating icecream on patrol? Hawks you cannot use hanging out with Dark shadow and I as an excuse to get out of work" Toloyami pointed out nd took a peck at his cone.
Keigi just laughed "C'mon guys can't we just celebrate? That shitty teacher got fired! Plus I have a question or two for you guys" he said and ate at his cone.
Tokoyami waited for the questions but they never came. "C'mon what is it?! Don't keep us waiting" Dark Shadow complained and leaned on the table.
"Well-" Keigo wiped his mouth "Remember how you guys are in foster care?" He asked. Tokoyamk visibly gog excited, he rarely ever did but he felt like he knew where this was going.
"Yes we are aware" he said.
Keigo laughed a little "Well I was thinking about it and what if I took you guys under my wing? Like as my little brother and little sibling?" He asked. "You could stay with me at my place during the holidays, nothing much would change between us but you'd just see more of me" he explained and licked some icecream that was coming off the cone.
Dark Shadow just burst into tears right on the spot and Tokotami couldn't look happier "I think we would like that, I'm sure things can be arranged with my social worker" he said. He tried to keep his cool but he was bouncing up and down with excitement.
"Cool cool, we'll see what we can do".
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leetjep7 days ago
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鈿狅笍 Episode 8 - Spoiler warning 鈿狅笍
But you will read it anyway..
I have a theory...
.....
Amy was the other kid 10 years ago, with Hannah. Both are witnesess.
Alan is the man who went with her to Iris.
So my theory is, Alan is the mwaf. He drove the Gremlin to Michaels home, because Michael was wasted and knocked out. There was a festival going on in Duskwood. And therefor very busy in the Aurora. Alan droppes him off, while being intoxicated himself. He never saw Jennifer walking on the road home. (See first picture of Jessy when they go to Michaels home, it sure looks exactly like the road Iris discribed). He hit her with the car. Burries her quickly at the lumber mill, that was energised by water (Well street 4, water mill/well) close to Michaels home.
He never noticed Amy or Hannah being with Jennifer. They where there because Jennifer took care of the girls after the festival.
When Jennifer is found. Alan has to try to put a blame on Michael. He doesnt remember anything from that night. So Michael cant even say he was brought home by Alan. Thats why Alan is pushing the blame on Michael so hard.
Ted was also there at the Aurora that night and have seen Alan taking Michael to his car. The Gremlin. Later he was put in jail, for reasons not connected to the murder on Jennifer. But has information, Hannah tried to find out.
Ten years later, Hannah asked Alan to come with her to Iris. Because she confessed she and Amy has seen the hit on Jennifer. She trust the police chief. Also knowing he was the lead investigator back then.
Thats the moment Alan decides to put on the maks of the mwaf. So he can get rid of the witnesses. Amy not willing to cooparate with Alan, gets killed.
He cant just go on a killing spree. So he first tries to scare Hannah away. But she is determent in her search. And noticed the man following her, being the same as 10 years ago.
Alan, kills Michael to take his home as hiding place. And then came up with the idea to put the blame in Phils shoes. He was the employee of Michael. And now owns the bar...
The group is in his way, and to close to his comfort. Therefor all of them need to be cleared out. Alan has a lot to lose. His job, maybe family. But also all the perpetrators he already put in jail. They might come free if he is been taken in.
....
I know there are missing parts... but... that's why it's a theory
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finn-writes-stuff9 days ago
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Soft cottagecore platonic headcanons for Y/N who's a complete mother figure to tommy and basically all the minors of the DSMP. Complete softy and likes to bake for her children, often worries about the minors and cares for them lots. Maybe they live in neutral territory so their home is a complete safe haven for the minors. Would absolutely defend and die for her kids to the end. I just imagine that if she ever gets hurt, the minors just go feral especially tommy since he's probably the most protective. FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF CUDDLES AND HUGS FOR THE MINORS AND DONT BE AFRAID TO ADD A SMIDGE OF ANGST >:) Thank you! And your writing is so good, i've been binging your blog all night!
Platonic!DSMP minors x Fem Reader
The majority of them have daddy issues, I hate to say it.
Tommy has so many daddy issues cause C!Phil isnt a good dad 馃様
Tubbo was literally abandoned in a box
Ranboo has no parental figures, this poor boy
Purpled became part of bigger lore and very quickly ended up getting manipulated 馃様
Suffice to say, all of them need some actually good parental figure.
They're all a bit wary of people who try to take care of them at this point, but you're just constantly kind to them like no one else has been
You have walked into your house on a saturday and found four children in your kitchen arguing about what kind of cake to make for you.
The cake they made wasn't great but it was made with love
Ranboo is very polite but generally confused why you're so nice to him. He genuinely doesnt get it
Purpled denies that he needs a parental figure but you're pretty sure he left flowers at your door on mothers day
Tubbo is the first to really accept your affection, but he generally says that he doesnt need all the support you give him. (Hes lying, hes very traumatized)
Tommy is waiting for the other shoe to drop, it's hard for him to believe that you're doing this without an ulterior motive.
But the moment you seem like you need help, there is a group of very feral children immediately there.
They would kill for you, no questions asked.
They do not like it when the people who have hurt them interact with you.
Alivebur tried to tall to you once and Tommy looked like he was going to bite him
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hydecircus12 days ago
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best characters of all time to me:
- kim kitsuragi disco elysium. hes a fantasy centrist unfortunately but i could fix him. i love to analyze his world view and debate in my whether or not it is moral to uphold an immoral system if you know the world is ending and no alternative will be found in time. you stare at the image of a woman who is a goddess and a human and a war criminal, and you wonder if its worth it, but ultimately decide it doesnt matter. everyday you smoke one cigarette and you drive a custom car and you know you look cool and youre trying so hard but you dont know why. but you look at this man who is pathetic and sad and wants impossible change and you feel jealous because in a way, the weight of the world fell through him and he became innocent again. and you feel more divinity from him than you ever felt from her and he vomits on your shoes and cries on shoulder and takes a bullet for you. you find the holy in an insect you denied until you couldnt and you understand everything for just a moment before you go back to understanding nothing. it still doesnt matter.
- grace infinity train. her arc was so so so good and it made me cry and just. you are just a child but you are a mother but you never had an example to learn from and youve been teaching your children to kill without knowing it. you have condemned a small army of children to a longer stay in purgatory, and all you got from an experience meant to fix you is a dead friend and an unsure future. but youre going to be better and youre going to chose to be better every step of the way. and its so hard to chose because why does it matter its so much easier to be bad and mean and hurtful and unlike your children, you dont even have a life for yourself waiting for you. you grew up in hell and you became its queen but you were never a ruler you were just another tortured child playing pretend and trying to mimic their parents.
- calory cruller a crown of candy. for twenty years you smile at a man and you lie and you tell him that you love him and each time you say it it gets easier. it feels less like lie and the taste of his kiss is bitter in your mouth because you know what you will do. you raise his children and you befriend his wife and you hold him close and when you close your eyes can you sometimes pretend that you dont hate him, and sometimes pretend that you dont love him. you write letters to the woman who killed his sister and the man who killed his daughter. you dont feel guilt but maybe you feel pity. mostly youre glad that after all this time, youre finally getting somewhere. you sit on his throne and its still bitter in your throat but you know you made the right choice. you fall at his feet in a mockery of a kneel and you look up at him and his blood mixes with yours and you die in the arms of the man you love/hate.
- caramelinda rocks a crown of candy. you are in love with a woman who knows she will die and who wont tell you when. you hold her every night and wonder if this is the last, and you still arent ready for it when it comes. you marry her brother and looking at him makes you angry and sad and miss her even more. and your daughters look like you and they look like your wife and you cant help but imagine a world in which their father is just their uncle. and you are strict and you think they hate you a little but you dont know what to do because how can you teach them to be soft and sweet when all the world does is take and take and take and even then theyll never be ready? and it does take and you have one daughter and a step-daughter and throne you dont want but they didnt ask for your input. all the world does is take and you just want to lie down and weep and see your wife and your daughter and hold them in your arms but instead you stand at your husbands side and you bite your tongue until it bleeds. you are the matriarch of the world you hate and your crown feels like lead.
- raphael supernatural. youre father is dead and you know hes dead because if he wasnt hed be here. your father loves you and so hes dead. one of your brothers is locked away and you will never see him again and you are not allowed to mourn him. one of your brothers is dead or gone and either way you know your father is dead because he would never let your brother leave or die. one of your brothers is so deep in his denial that he cannot see that your father is dead. your father is dead and you have to be the one to tell your siblings because your brother wont and your father is dead and your not able to mourn him because your brother wont stop lying to himself and your father is dead and you never had a father and your brother is your father but all he wants to do is bring your father back. and all you can do is stare at the remains of your family and wonder if, as the healer, it was your job to fix. it is too broken to fix now, because your father is dead and who are we without our father?
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retracexcviii14 days ago
I just read a theory of yours that you think Marquis Machina could be a twin and I was wondering if you could explain it in more detail.
For sure!
I don't remember when or where I wrote the theory but I remember what make myself think about it so I can explain the theory.
It all started with a image from memoire 33:
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Those tiny feet are seen the second time Marquis Machina appeared in front of Chlo茅 to ask her if she wanted to come with him to the world one step beyond. The costume Machina was wearing that time was a little bizarre; a lot of mechanics parts were outside the dress so I thought too that those tiny pair of feet could be part of the costume, as the hands. But, why 2 pair of feet instead 1? And if they were the real Machina's feet, why tfuck doesnt he wear shoes? XD
Well, that was not enough to make this theory so I started to look for all the information we have about Marquis Machina (not spoiler: its not that much).
Starting with what we can see: the costumes. Until now we have seen 3 of them: the bear, the one inspired in a far east land doll and the submariner (the actual one). All of them are large, unnecessary large. Not only making Chlo茅 seen as small (she is) but even Ruthven, a known tall man, seems to be small in comparison.
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This, of course, can be for have more space inside the costume.
And the other thing we can "know" about him its thanks to Veronica (the one that is confirmed to have fuck with Machina) for the Senate's meeting. In this place we can see almost every member of the Senate (8 member + Luca and 2 transcriptionists) but Jun only introduce us 5 of them, the other 3 of them never show the face or say anything relevant in all the meeting sadly.
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The 3 circumferences are the unknown members, I am more inclined to think that Machina is the orange one because he is hiding his face (he was extra nervous when Chlo茅 tried to see inside his bear costume an he said he was very shy so hiding his face would fit in character). The last thing we learnt about Machina (not to mention that he knows how to make origami and falls asleep easily) its that he is tiny.
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I am more inclined to think that he is like Chlo茅 and stopped his growing in some point that to think he is a small men (because he seems to small to have an adult body).
So, what made my brain after known this facts: tiny body, big costumes and two pair of feet? This theory:
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As you can see it is a little mess and I know is not very probable since it is very hard to hide a secret so important to vampires for that much time (only one of them could talk, only one of them could make physical appearances, only one of them have had sex with Veronica, etc.) but I like it for being a mess and very improbable because if it ends happening I will die of laughing.
It has been fun to put all this information together, so a pleasure to answer your question hugoghislain15.
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mouthfulloftoothpastehs20 days ago
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Grandparents Day
Hi!!! Sorry for posting it then deleting it, I decided I didn鈥檛 want to post it now I want to! So sorry about that haha:) this is just the styles family going to the park and visiting the grandparents! I hope you enjoy 馃挄
Today Y/n and Harry are leaving their cozy cottage and scoundering out into the real world, leaving the home-y confines of their cottage and going to visit the grandparents for a late lunch.
They are having a picnic out at the park, Harry offered to host it at their cottage and have it out in their backyard- claiming the flowers and plants would make great scenery, But the family had denied. They said the four needed to get out and see more people than the customers at the farmers market.
The couple of course agreed, renting out a park pavilion for the day and packing up their contribution of the picnic foods. 鈥淐ome on, my love, mummy made sun tea!鈥 Harry coos, holding Violet's hand and hoisting her up into her booster seat.
鈥淵ummy!鈥 She cheers, letting Harry clip her in the seat securely. Harry buckles it right under her chest, making sure the big buckle is positioned correctly. 鈥淐omfy?鈥 Harry questions, holding a thumb up for her. She smiles widely, showing her small baby teeth and sticking her tiny thumb up for him. 鈥淕ood!鈥 She cheers, Harry smiling and softly tickling her belly, kissing her cheek then brushing his hand from her hair to her cheek, softly giving it a pinch before he shoots her a wink, softly closing the door.
Y/n walks out, the picnic basket in her hand along with Forest laying in her arm. 鈥淚鈥檝e got that, sunshine鈥 Harry hums, pushing up his glasses and grabbing the picnic basket from her hands, the kids diaper bag balanced on top of it. He places it in the back, Y/n thanking him and buckling Forest into his bus seat.
**
鈥淐ome on, sweet pea. Let鈥檚 get you out of the bus!鈥 Harry coos, pulling Violet out of the bus seat and resting her on his hip. He circles to the back of the bus, grabbing the diaper bag and the wooden picnic basket, heading toward the big pavilion entry. Y/n walks a couple steps ahead of him, guiding the way while he hauls the food behind her.
鈥淗ello!鈥 Harry鈥檚 mum greets, making the man look up with a smile. 鈥淗i!鈥 He sings, his wife offering her a polite smile while she deals with a slightly fussy Forest. Y/ns parents greet them, the styles family making their way over to the picnic table. 鈥淕o see nana!鈥 Harry coos, letting Violet slip down from his hip and land on her feet, padding away on the concrete flooring to go visit her grandparent, getting her cheeks pinched and dollars slipped to her behind her parents backs.
They all finally greet each other, laughs and conversations laying over the other until they all settle down and take their seats on the old red chipping bench of the picnic tables. Harry pulls Violet on his lap, making sure she鈥檚 not running off and getting lost. (She likes to do that when they go off to the park- which isn鈥檛 often.) Harry slides her plate toward her, the girl's sippy cup full of sun tea, balanced between her chubby hands.
鈥淚t's time to eat, sunshine.鈥 Harry announces to violet, pulling her next to him on the picnic table bench. She stretches her little neck to look at the array of food everyone had brought. She makes quick grabby hands for the fruit sandwiches Harry hand prepared for the outing. Harry catches her in the act and grabs her hand before she can shove a bite into her mouth, pulling her hand away and kissing the back of it, shoving an orange baby spoon in her hand instead. He puts a small portion of summer pasta on her plate, the girl forming a tight pout on her lips before she stabs the pasta and shoves it in her mouth angirly, mad her daddy didn't let her have dessert first.
鈥淗ow is the farm?鈥 Anne asks while she holds Forest, holding a sleepy baby in one arm and feeding herself with the other, something the youngest parents out of the group have mastered.
Y/n finishes her bite, wiping her mouth off on the floral printed napkin before answering annes question. 鈥淓verything is good. We sold a bunch at the farmers market a couple weeks ago.鈥 Harry nods along, serving himself while everyone passes the bowls and plates of food around, complimenting each other on their dishes quietly. 鈥淲e鈥檙e thinking of getting some bunnies. Violet would love it.鈥 Harry adds, violet instantly snapping her head up at the mention of adding the fluffy white animal to the family farm. 鈥淏unnies?!鈥 she asks, making the group laugh.
鈥淵ep,鈥 Harry says, licking his thumb and rubbing red sauce from her face, the little girl's face scrunching up while she pushes his large hand away. 鈥淵ou're gonna eat them?鈥 Y/n鈥檚 dad asks, the family shaking her head, violet getting visibly upset by the questions. They dont eat bunnies! Bunnies are for petting and loving. 鈥淣o, just have them as pets. We dont eat meat, we haven't for a while.鈥 Harry informs, violet being his little sidekick and nodding along to every word he has to say.
鈥淪o are you getting them?鈥 Anne asks, Violet looking up at Harry with so much hope. She loves bunnies, she draws them all the time, it's just one big circle, a smaller one for the head, then four tiny ones for the feet and a happy face made with two dots and a curved line but it's a bunny to her and she loves it. 鈥...yeah,鈥 the father slowly nods. Y/n gives him sharp eyes. They were supposed to surprise Violet and Forest with the new addition to their farm, even though forest wouldn't be that enthusiastic, he's only four months old.
鈥淲hat about preschool? Are you going to send her to preschool?鈥 y/n鈥檚 mum barges into the conversation, always nagging at her daughter to get the kids out. They do get the kids out, just not often. They have playdates and go to the park to socialize with the other kids but they are usually inside and if they do leave they stay together, no disturbing the people around them.
鈥淲ere still deciding on whether to homeschool her or send her to Harry's old preschool.鈥 Y/n answers her nons nagging questions. She would love for Violet to stay with them, it's not like she wants to go out and see all these kids, she's a very antisocial toddler. She is shy and nervous around new people, if it's not her mummy, daddy, and little brother she usually doesn't prefer to be around them for long periods of time.
鈥淛ust let the kid breathe! She probably wants to be with other kids ever not and then, you know.鈥
Y/n tries not to get frustrated but she doesn't need people telling her how to parent, especially when they dont know how her child feels being around people that arent her immediate family.
Y/n sighs, rubbing her eyes. 鈥淰iolet doesn't like being around other people for a long time. I dont want to send her away for three hours a day to a place where she isn't comfortable. Especially when we are already teaching her stuff at home and she is doing great.鈥 she argues back, harry pulls a hand on the small of her back and rubs softly. He knows she gets annoying about things like this, she is usually a very zen person.
Harry 100% backs her up on this. He knows how anxious his little one can get when she is around new people- or people who aren't her parents. Why would they send her off to a preschool when they can teach her ABC鈥檚 at home, how to write her name, counting, and even more that they teach at a preschool. They can have one on one time with their child when the teacher wouldn't be able to focus on just one child at a time. They even get to teach her more about the animals, show her what noises animals make and what colors they are up close and personal.
鈥淚 think it would just be nice for her to make some friends,鈥
Harry senses some trepidation, and he doesn't want Violet to watch her mumma and grandma to get into a disagreement. Not that it would get ugly, Harry just prefers his kids ears aren't around bad language, and when a disagreement happens the adults tend to get loose lips.
鈥淗ey, are you done? Let's go play, you can eat this on the swings.鈥 Harry grabs a fruit sandwich, picking the girl up and excusing them while he walks into the wood chip filled playground. Violet munches on her desert when she slides down bright yellow slides with Harry, sitting on his lap while they both sing out 鈥渨eeeee!鈥
Y/n helps everyone pack up, throwing away paper cups and plates in the big rusty trash cans that they had in the pavilion. She watches Harry and Violet chase each other, watching them closely since Violet happens to be a very accident prone (almost) two year old. She keeps to herself while she stuffs drinks back in blue coolers, stuffing their tupperware back in their picnic basket and leaving the sun tea out because they had seemed to enjoy that.
While the rest of the crew cleans up Harry chases Violet around the playground, the black floors being filled with wood chips that were once stuck on little ones shoes, or maybe some naughty kids were bringing them up on the jungle gym to play around in them. 鈥淗ey, watch your step, pumpkin!鈥 Harry yells before Violet misses her step and falls over a big black chunky step, falling right into the wood chips. Cries instantly fell from her mouth, she was just trying to run down the playground steps but her chubby legs couldn't keep up.
鈥淗ey,鈥 Harry pouts, sitting on the black step and pulling her onto his thighs. 鈥淎re you okay, sweet pea?鈥 Harry asks, dusting off the debris on her knees and hands. She huffs as she cries, her bottom lip poking out while tears roll down her cheek, her nose and cheeks growing pink and hot from her crying. Harry gives her a big pout when he sees her knee bleeding, He hopes she doesnt have a splinter.
鈥淟ets go get you clean your boo boo鈥檚 up鈥 Harry mumbles, pulling her up to his chest and kissing all along her hair line, letting her cry in his neck. He walks back up to the pavilion in search of the diaper bag, they have a first aid kit stashed in there, it's a necessity when you have a bambi-like toddler.
y/n watches Harry set down a crying violet, fishing for a first aid kit. 鈥淲hat happened?鈥 she sighs, handing the little girl her sippy cup. Harry glaces up at his wife for a second before looking back down at his toddler, preparing to clean her boo boo鈥檚. 鈥淪he fell,鈥 he cleans her cuts up only making her cry more, her hands were only scraped, but she had a small cut on her knee. He adds some neosporin, patching on a baby shark bandaid before kissing over her cut.
鈥淎ll better?鈥 the girl huffs, wiping her tears. She looks at her knee, holding up two fingers like she's going to pinch something, Harry laughs. 鈥淟ets go sing baby shark somewhere else, your nana might give me a boo boo.鈥
Y/n laughs, Harry kissing her and Forest's head before they sit on the park bench together, their singing still heard.
The grandparents all swarm over the free child, watching him sleep peacefully. Y/n laughs awkwardly, hoping that Harry would be back soon to distract them or so Violet could play with them. 鈥淎re you putting this one in pre school?鈥 Y/n scoffs at her mothers nagging, surprised it's only been an hour of hearing nagging about their kids.
鈥淗e's a real momma's boy. He's gonna be a heartbreaker.'' Robin laughs, making Y/n smile and laugh, her boy isn't dating because no one's ever gonna be good enough.
They decide to join the rest on the playground, the men playing with violet- or Harry pushing Violet on the swing while the men talk to him. Anne and Y/n鈥檚 mom join her on the park bench, the small boy finally waking up from his long nap. They talk about the farm and the kids while the sun sets, loud giggles from violet fill the park while Harry pushes her higher and higher. 鈥淚t's beautiful out,鈥 Anne says, looking up at the glowing sky, a painting of orange, purple, and blue framing the cloudy sky.
鈥淚t is,鈥
Hiii!! I hope you enjoyed reading part three!! I鈥檓 sorry for being a tease and posting it then deleting it. I was in my teasing era. Anyways, thank you for everything, you have all been so fucking amazing, like it shocks me how sweet and supportive you all are, thank you!!! It means so much!!! I love you all. My requests are open, I鈥檓 currently writing part four and then I will be putting out a blurb about when y/n was pregnant with Forest after part four is out. Thank you for everything!!!
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akaashiswifenooneelses21 days ago
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akaashi x fem reader
y/n'a pov
"come on, y/n! we're gonna be late to the party!" akaashi yells to me. i'm pissed off at him. last night, he refused to let me finish. so tonight i'm going to make him jealous. it's the volleyball team's banquet (pretend there's one at the end of the season.) i have a short skirt on with black thigh highs and a crop top. no bra, cause i'm a baddie ig馃檮 i know this'll get him all riled up, cause last time i wore it he got a boner almost immediately after he saw me, and let's just say i couldn't walk for a few days.
as i walk out of the bedroom, i feel his eyes on me. "no. you're not wearing that," he says, looking at me up and down. i glare at him.
"really? try stopping me," i say as i grab the keys from the table and put my shoes on. i bend over, letting him see my ass. of course i wore a thong. i don't look at him, cause why not. he walks up behind me, grazing his hands on my butt. i finish putting my shoes on and walk out the door, akaashi trailing behind me.
time skip cause let's get to the goodies
when we arrive at the place, i get out right away. akaashi didn't let me drive. so what if i speed a little bit? it's not like bokuto is any better.
i walk into the doors and immediately beeline towards bokuto.
"bokutoo my babyyyyyy," i say, pulling him into a hug, wrapping my arms around his neck. i feel a cool breeze on my ass and let go instantly.
"aww, i wanted a long hugggggg," bokuto says, but i'm too busy looking behind me. i lock eyes with akaashi, and i know he saw my ass. i turn back to a pouting bokuto and pull him into a close hug. he immediately hugs me back, coming out of his emo mode. i nuzzle my head into his neck and he lets out a soft giggle.
he finally lets go and he looks terrified. behind me was a glaring akaashi. now, he usually has a plain face on, but right now, he looks terrifying. whoops.
"y/n, let's go." he says shortly, grabbing my wrist.
"no, i'm hanging out with bokuto leave me alone," i say, pulling it back. he lets go, turning away from me. he goes to his seat, pulling his phone out.
time skip to dinner
as i sit down next to akaashi, he looks at me, and i feel bad. his cheeks are red and his head is hanging low. but he's not upset. i know that look from a mile away. he wants to rail me to put it quite plainly. bokuto sits next to me pulling me out of my trance.
as we're eating, i feel akaashi's hand on my thigh, it's heavy, and he has a really tight grip. god, he makes me so wet. it continues traveling up my leg until it reaches my thong. he wastes no time pulling it to the side and rubbing my clit. i feel my face heat up, and bokuto looks at me like i look insane.
"um, y/n? are you?!12?!? you're really red," he says with his mouth full. i mumble a yes, and he turns back to his food. akaashi pulls his hand away, and my eyes shoot open. i didn't even know they were closed. it comes back again, but he slips something inside of me. oh god i know what this i鈥 i feel a vibrating inside of me and my hand slaps to my mouth. bokuto looks at me again, but i don't meet his eyes.
"hey, y/n? there's something on my shirt? can you come and help me out please?" akaashi says, and i nod my head fast. i stand up, and he turns the power up more, making my legs go to jello. he wraps an arm around me, pulling me towards the bathroom.
he checks to see if anybody is in there, and thankfully there isn't. he sets me on the counter and walks away from me to lock the door, but he stops.
"i'm not gonna lock this, cause if anybody walks in they're gonna know you're mine," he says, walking back towards me. i let out a moan, and his hand found it's way to my skirt again. he yanks it down along with my thong.
"mmm, good girl. you didn't cum," he says, getting down to his knees. he starts to pull out the vibrator, but i let out a load moan, making him stop. "be quiet you slut. i know why you're doing this. you're upset you didn't finish last night, aren't you?" he says more than asks. i hum a yes, but he bites my thigh.
"y-yes daddy. i just w-wanted you to l-let me finish," i stutter out. he pulls out the vibrator and turns it off. he opens my legs and licks my clit fast. he shoves a long, callused finger into me, and my hand slaps to my mouth again. his other hand makes it up my shirt, pinching my nipples harshly. i start to feel myself get close, but he pulls his fingers away.
"are you fucking serious?" i half yell. "i haven't finished in over 24 hours because you didn't want me to and now you're fucking teasing me? let me fucking finish," i say, my dom side coming out. he doesn't say anything, but shoves his fingers in again, going at a fast pace. his lips meet my lower ones, and he sucks harshly. i feel my high coming fast, and he knows it too. he goes even faster, and my knot snaps. i cum on his fingers, and i squirt on his face, making his shirt a complete mess. he stands up and flips me over so i'm facing the mirror behind me. i see him drop his pants down he aligns with me instantly. he shoves in, placing a hand over my mouth. i let out a long, shaky moan, but his grip tightens.
"i don't want anybody besides fucking me to hear you, got it?" he says into my ear, picking up the pace. i'm still sensitive and haven't fully gotten down from my high, but it was already rising again. i look at us in the mirror, the way he looks while he fucks me. it turns me on even more, and i release onto him. he keeps going, speeding up. i place my hands on the counter so i dont fall. he leans onto my back, leaving kisses and love marks. he slaps my ass, hard.
"you better fucking cum again or im gonna make sure everybody knows whos little pet you are. who do you think you are walking around here like you own the place you whore. who owns you?" he asks. if he even could, he seemed to speed up.
" FUCK IM YOURS IM ALL FUCKING YOURS AKAASHI" i scream, and im sure everybody knows whats going on in here.
his paces get sloppy and i feel him fill me up, which pushes me over the edge and i cum again. he lays me down on the counter and pulls out. i let out a shaky moan and he cleans me up. when we both get dressed again. we see bokuto in the corner, just staring at us. shitshitshitshitshitshitshit
"um, bokuto? how long have you been there?" i ask, but i know. hes been here the entire time.
akaashi walks over to him, grabs his neck, and pulls him down to my pussy. "if she doesnt cum in two minutes, youre both going to get punished," he says with a blank stare. bokuto pulls my thong off and throws it somewhere. i was already wet again, and STILL NOT 100% DOWN FROM MY PREVIOUS HIGHS. woohoo long nights馃槒馃bokuto starts eating me out, and shoves a finger in, and i cum instantly, my legs shaking. he doesn't stop, and thrusts his fingers in faster, curling to hit me spot馃榾馃榾i cum again, squirting on his face like i did to akaashi, and my leg twitched and my heel went into bokutos eye. he falls to the ground, grabbing his eye. (hehe sorry) i go to grab some paper towel and soak it in some cold water, but when i try to stand up, i fall over. akaashi helps me up, setting me on the counter. he does what i tried to, pulling bokuto up too. after we got cleaned up, bokuto told everyone i got sick in the bathroom and i had to go home. let's just say i couldn't walk for a week and a half馃榿馃榿
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rhapsody-in-heaven28 days ago
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The Diary of Losing You
Day One
I cant believe it, never did we ever talk about breaking up before this .. and now all of a sudden its happening. I cant process it. I cant accept it. Sure, we鈥檝e had fights but I never felt like they were toxic. We never got to that point - we weren鈥檛 even close to that point. Was I too stubborn? Did you not like that? Because no matter how much I begged and bargained - you kept telling me, it was over. That you didnt have to explain things to me but you were doing it out of courtesy. But its hard to accept - not only because it was so sudden but because you told me you still liked me - and god knows, i still like you. You told me, you couldnt change and you knew that about yourself and honestly, I kind of admire that. I havent had a lot of boyfriends but the first one I had to accept cuz he stopped liking me - the other two were long over by the time we broke up - there was resentment in our relationship but we didnt know how to let go - so we kept holding on - even when it got so toxic and even when it was obvious we were much better off without each other. But its still hard. Why don鈥檛 you think we鈥檙e worth a second chance. i didnt even think it was so bad that it needed to be classified as a second chance - just that we were still trying to figure out the kinks with the first one. Even when I told you that if the same situation happens even one more time, you could break up w me - even if it was two weeks later - i wouldnt complain. But you told me that in that case you would just break up with me two weeks later because for you, the relationship was already over. You didnt think we were worth a second chance and that hurts a lot.聽 I spent hours begging you to reconsider - knowing that you wouldnt - but i still had to try. and then I spent hours after talking to two friends and crying my heart out to them. all i could think about was all the plans we made that would no longer come to pass. I questioned myself if I was missing the thing wed do together or miss you and yeah at that time i was grieving our breakup but grieving more the things that would no longer come to pass. Im used to seeing you once every three weeks but three weeks werent up yet and it still felt relatively normal i guess. but the fact that I also knew the sadness would hit when the three weeks were up also scared me.聽 sleep was my solace - when i sleep, i dont need to think anymore.聽 Day Two teaching as usual but then in the times i didnt have to actively teach - i could feel the tears forming in my eyes but its okay, i dont think anyone noticed. but then we had a break between classes and i started to talk to another friend and then i couldnt stop crying. crying so loud that my coteacher heard it and asked what was wrong, and of course needing to explain things out loud with my voice made it that much worse. I could pull myself together for when i was actually teaching the class but - i still miss everything about you. I had my sixth grade class and I was so happy. They were my worst class last year but they did so well on this exercise we thought they would have trouble with - and they did, but with some help they managed to finish, and they did well. The first person i wanted to talk to was you. I felt like all i ever did was complain in our relationship I really wanted to give you the good news. And you were nice enough that you listened to me, and told me that even before, just hearing from me was good news. and that felt incredibly bittersweet. before leaving school my coteacher told me to feel better but all i could think was that i missed you. I had dinner plans that night but they got cancelled - I called my cousin and he talked to me for hours just listening to me cry - and then talk about life - and listening to me cry again. He told me that you probably didnt like the way we communicated and decided to end it before it gets harder later on. I can respect that I said, but its too soon to call it quits - we never even tried. To him, I just wasnt worth trying.聽 Day Three teaching kept me busy for most of the morning - i didnt have much time to think about you. but after lunch, the sadness began to manifest itself again. I dont think anyone noticed, or maybe they pretended not to. but I started to think back on the times before you moved away. Before we were long distance or even a couple. How you were so good to me. How you made me food. How you stayed with me when i was sad and i just have so many regrets I wasnt adquately able to tell you how i felt about you. How i was constantly unsure about myself but how when you did ask me out, you told me that it was okay that i didnt know - it was okay if i was never able to say i love you because you could feel that saying聽鈥渓ove鈥 signified a very strong emotion for me that i wasnt sure i ever felt before, and even with just me saying聽鈥渓ike鈥 you knew and could tell that my feelings for you were really deep. Why is it that you miss them so much more when theyre gone? Why do i feel like I shouldve treated you better i shouldve done more and thought of you more and expressed my feelings to you better. but hindsight is always 20/20. I went to pole and then to see my friends at night. we went to karaoke and at this point only one of the two friends knows because i didnt wanna ruin the birthday celebrations coming up of the one who didnt know. Well we were singing聽鈥減ayphone鈥 and she said that we were singing it like someone had broken our hearts and all i could do was pretend to laugh. For the record, I dont think u broke my heart. or i dont blame you. i just wish things ended differently - i wish we were worth another shot in your mind. But all of this, is just wishful thinking. And i know that.
Day Four
its the weekend, and the day we celebrate her birthday. its a rainy day and somehow every little thing reminds me of you. I havent felt like this after a break up in a long time - im not sure if ive ever felt like this after a break up at all. My last two were long over before we ended things and the one before that was the definition of puppy love - sure i thought about him, and maybe its because its been so long but i dont remember every little thing reminding me of him. The rain reminds me of you. I saw a couple walking under an umbrella and remembered that you bought this hella big and expensive umbrella so that we could share it together in the rain. when I was at the aquarium all i could think about was how nice it would be if i was there with you. I saw a boat and i could just think about your job and how youre a shipbuilding engineer. Even looking at myself in the mirror, i thought about how you bought a jean jacket so we could match. I thought about the white tennis shoes we wanted to buy so we could match together when a friend mentioned she needed new white shoes. I thought of all the cute little cafes you took me to when we went to eat a cafe. my friend said she wanted to go to a marsh she saw in my photos - the very same one you took me to. we went to a coin karaoke place and the first time i ever went to one was with you. and sometimes i didnt need a reminder - my mind would just wander and i would remember things i didnt even know I remembered. the time when we fought about women in the workforce and your industry in the cafe and at the car. how when i asked if you were still mad at me you said that you wish you said 鈥渙h maybe i am a little bit, but ill make a lot of money and buy u a nice purse鈥 to defuse the situation instead of getting mad. How our very first date lasted two nights and three days. How you couldnt spend my birthday w me but spent valentines w me the next day. The night you asked me to be your girlfriend - and how scared but also how happy i was. How you always took me to so many places. How i always could complain to you and you would always listen w patience - how i just wanted you back - how i wanted you to hold me and tell me it was a mistake - that you didnt really wanna break up w me that you thought about it and you wanna try again.聽 but i also know, its wishful thinking and i know, that you wont come back to me.聽 Day Five No plans. it鈥檚 still raining. No reason to go out. Can鈥檛 find the will to clean my apartment thats getting messier and dirtier by the day. I just want to lie in bed. I鈥檝e been swiping on tinder and talking to some ppl - not to find a rebound but just to talk to people - to feel less - lonely? dejected? idk. but it doesnt really work - it feels like a lot of effort that I cant give. Were conversations always this hard? i feel like ours were so easy. And then i start to think again. all the promises we made. You said you would still try to be friends with me. Can we still do the little things? even before we went out you said u would take me skiing in the winter - is that still on? you told me you would buy me a hanbok - how about that? will you still take me? I keep asking why its over for you. why another chance will never happen. but the whole day, i just lie in bed. I cant bring myself to do anything. I keep searching up things like how long it should take to get over you - but at the same time im not sure i want to. Its not over for me yet even if its over for you. I guess, im feeling all the beginning stages of grief at once. Shock and Denial - i know its over - my head knows it - my head knows that you wont take me back or give us another go but my heart still has that false hope. my heart doesnt want to give you up. Guilt and Pain - well the pain is self explanatory but the guilt - i just keep wondering if this was my fault. if I was too unwilling to change - or didnt know i needed to change until i realized u were serious when you said you were thinking of breaking up w me - if i never said聽鈥渉ow about we just never talk again鈥 in anger and sadness, would we have gotten to this point? Anger and Bargaining - im not really angry - i mean i dont think this was your fault or mine but i guess i am kind of upset at the fact that you dont think we鈥檙e worth a second shot. anything we argued about, even if it spanned across a couple of days, has never come up again. and this was the first time this particular issue came up so why could we both make steps and amends to keep this from happening. are we both too stubborn? but i was willing and it felt like you werent. you told me that even ur past gfs have said that sometimes they didnt feel like they really had a choice and it wasnt just me. so im assuming that this is something youre eventually going to have to fix for yourself or you find a girl whos okay with that - but you also said you didnt want a gf or a wife that was like a doll who just agreed w everything you said. so this just means to me that youre not willing to try and change. honestly, if youre aware of it, it shouldnt be a hard fix but you already made up your mind that you werent going to do it. in reality i just wasnt the one you were willing to make those steps towards. and that is where my sadness and anger come from. now bargaining - im really willing to make changes and kind of the biggest testament i can give to that is that if we could be together again, i could quit that game ive been playing for 2 years cold turkey. For whatever reason, you never liked me playing that game and if it means i could have you back, i would gladly get rid of it. as for the other things - i promise i wont pressure to be with you longer cuz i know your tired - now i know youre tired. because you never told me before. Im sorry i dont like to lose arguments and i get defensive - i know i need to communicate better too. but i just really miss you and it kills me that we never even gave it a chance. yes, maybe youre right and things wont change and i know you think youre doing me a favour by ending this sooner rather than later but it kills me more that we never tried. Depression Loneliness and Reflection - self explanatory maybe im not fully in this stage yet but I do realize that the bargaining is not going to work even if i hope that it would.聽 it isnt over to me and to be honest, im not sure i want to get over you yet, even tho i know i should. Day Six
a monday. i asked you yesterday if we could talk and you said you were busy. I鈥檓 sure even tho i know your answer, i will ask you today if you would reconsider. im sorry if this puts pressure on you but i think its also necessary that i know I at least tried for my own sanity instead of letting this go. I鈥檓 going to tell you everything ive been thinking the last several days just to get it out. and yes, there is still that false hope that you鈥檒l take me back and when that鈥檚 crushed i will probably inevitably cry again. I鈥檓 not sure if talking to you so soon is the right answer, if later would give me a clearer head. but my heart is telling me that i need to ask you to reconsider now and not later - if only for the confirmation - that nail on the coffin, that we鈥檙e really not happening anymore. I asked you when you had time and you said 10pm. So after work, i go home and i write down everything i want to talk to you about - at least everything i can think of at the time of writing much of which i talked about here already - how i thank you for loving me and all the things you did for me, how i still hope youll keep ur promise about buying me a hanbok, about a possible snowboard trip, about my stages of grief - my denial, my anger, the bargaining, how it wasnt just you who needed to change but i do think you will eventually need to change for someone - that i was sad it wasnt me. how i wish you told me about the stresses of your job so id be more understanding, how you were the first guy i thought i could say i love you to. how im not good at this cuz my last two and only serious relationships ended long before we called it off but right now i still feel like i was starting to like you more and more. how u know to break it off now because it would hurt more for me later and you no longer wanted to see me cry but for me second chances and trying is important - which is why im bargaining with you even tho i know you will say no. i need to know i did everything I could. that im sad we didnt meet earlier and have a more stable realtionship and maybe it woulda worked out - that i was sad you had to move for your job because if you were still here things wouldve worked out differently. but i dunno - i hope youll listen with as open a mind as u can, really think about it before you reject me and ill know i did everything i could.聽
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juliusghiy658a month ago
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8 Effective pertinent stars Elevator Pitches
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kaz11283a month ago
Text
I Think I'm in Love (pt 2)
Announcement: this is the second part of my "I think I'm in love....shit" Loki prompt that just got completly away from me. I just absolutly love writing all the request and the prompts sent my way. I have another song insperation that I am working on (in my head) that I will be starting on after I finish this one up then it will be back to writing for Fire and Ice for a bit. Thank you guys so much for all the suppost that I am getting and all the shares and reblogs. I didnt get to meet my goal for last month of 200 followers but i hope to be at that by the end of this month then I will try to think of something to do as a celebration so keep your eye peeled! 馃挌馃挌馃挌馃挌馃挌
Loki Masterlist
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"Lady y/n, Thank you very much for the dance. I shall find you again before the night is through to have another dance." He bowed taking your hand and kissing it.
"That would be a pleasure Sir Fandral. I shall save one for you." You curtised to him and turning to walk off. Before you knew it you had been swept up by yet another guest spinning you around the dance floor causing you to loose track of time.
"My Lady, may I have this next dance?" Thors voice boomed next you to causing you to smile.
"Of course you may, you did promise me at least one tonight." You took his hand and let him lead you across the floor where the crowd opened up leaving the dance floor open for you and the prince. You smiled as he wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you closer to him.
Loki huffed next to his mother and rolled his eyes. "Honestly, the way he looks at her."
"Loki Odinson!" His mother swatted at his arm. "That is your brother out there simply dancing with a good friend, if you are so jealous then why dont you go out there and dance with her?"
"I am not jealous of Thor." He said.
"You could have fooled me. The way you have been watching her all night? The way you act around her? You act more like yourself, and dont you tell me other wise. You would give that girl the moon and stars if she asked and you know it." Hearing his mother say it out lound stund Loki, sure hos brother had dropped hints and asked him multiple times about the two of you but all Loki could normally do was laugh about it.
"She doesnt feel the same mother. How could she? I am second best, I am not the one that will take the throne one day." He sighed looking at Frigga.
"Shut up Loki. You are not second best. You are my son. And not all girls want the future king, they dont wamt the crown or the popularity that it brings. Beleive it or not some girls just want to love and be loved. I see the way she looks at you with love and passion, you hung the moon for that girl at a young age and she will always beleive that. Go dance with her before I call you both out." Frigga gave him a gentle nudge forward shooing him away.
As Loki walked to were you and Thor were dancing his stomach was flipping and he was straightening out his top as best as he could. Walking up he tapped Thor on the shoulder causing his brother to turn around.
"May I cut in Lady y/n and possibly save you a few toes from being stepped on?" He took notice of how your face lite up and you eagerly nodded smiling he returned the smile and offered you his hand.
"We shall finish another time lady y/n." Thor bowed walking away.
"I was expecting to see you sooned Loki." You smiled up at him as you placed one arm around his neck and placing you other hand on his chest.
"I was talking with mother about some things." He placed his arm around your waist pulling you close just like the others had done but with him you felt more at ease like you belonged there in his arms, more protected, no one would dare cut in as long as you was right there with Loki and you liked that. He took his free hand and tucked a peice of your hair that has fallen down back behind your ear before placing his hand over yours on his chest. To others around you this was normal you and Loki behavior but to the two of you there was something diffrent settling between you.
"You look absolutly beautiful tonight y/n, my colors look absolutly amazing on you." He smiled looking you dead in the eyes. He took his hand and traced the sleeve down to your bare arm. Your breath caught as you meet his eyes.
"And you, my prince of mischief, look just as stunning." You grinned.
"Darling I always look good." He laughed cauing you to giggle. "I do tend to look just a little bit better though when you are around." It slipped out before he could even think.
"What?" Your mouth dropped slightly.
"Well this has seemed to make things slightly awkward." He said giving you a slightly forced smile. You pulled him tighter to you almost forcing him to look in your eyes.
"Dont try to joke your way out of that little comment Loki."
"Y/n, I think I'm in love, with you." He leaned in slightly looking you right in the eyes.
You let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank the Norns, I think I'm in love with you too Loki Odinson." You pulled him the rest of the way toward you so that your lips could finally meet after years of dreaming of this moment. His lips were soft and welcoming, they felt like what you had always imagined and you never wanted to stop.
"Ah, see mother. Harmless tricks and small little fibs. I knew they would fall into each others arms before the end of the night. Everything is as it should be." Thor gave a big smile turning to his mother.
"Well you weren't the only one planting seeds tonight." Frigga laughed at the look on Thors face as it dropped. "Me and Loki had a wonderful heart to heart while you danced with her."
You pulled away from Loki and placed you head under his chin as he laced his fingers together behind you. "Would it ruin the moment if I told you I had nothing to do with the outfit choice tonight?" You asked looking up at him.
"No my dove it wouldnt, though I must ask, who picked it out." He laughed.
"Dont ask me why but your brother had it delivered to my room this afternoon with shoes." You could see the wheels turning in his head.
"Now may I ask you something with out sounding crazy?" He asked.
"Of course Loki."
"Fandral, did he ask to escort you tonight?"
"Norns no! Do not get me wrong, he is a very nice man but I would not have came with him tonight. Who told you that?". Loki turned away from you facing toward Thor and Frigga. You followed his gaze.
"Oh dear my eldest. It seems as if you have been found out." Frigga simply stated taking a sip of her wine as she watched the two of you walk thier way.
Thors eye widened as he took a few steps back. "Mother, what would be the plan?"
"I warned you that you was playing with fire when it came to those two. Loki and y/n are bad enough seprate when it comes to tricks, them together though? Much worst." She took another sip from her glass. "Dont forget that they are doing some redecorating in the west wing so that is completly blocked off." Thor kissed Friggas cheek mumbling a thank you amd turning to leave right as you amd Loki were walking up the steps.
"Mother-"
"West wing is beimg redone so hes not there. He wont leave the castle, not tonight at least, but I do remember him turning to the right as he ran out." Lol I took off after his brother.
"So my dear? The mystery man you had mentioned so many time turned out to be my son? I dont know if I should be hurt or thankful that he has someone like you to keep him calm." She smiled at you.
You blusjed before looking back at her. "Yes, Allmother. Please forgive me for not tellimg you the truth."
"All is fine, of course you will have to finish your teachings since you will one day be a princess of Asguard." She smiled at you.
"Of course Allmother you smile taking a few steps back. If you will please excuse me, I must go find your sons so that Loki doesnt kill Thor." You laughed turning to run in the direction the two princes had ran.
~~~~~
If you would like to be tagged in any of my requests, one shots, or my series you are more than welcome to drop a message or a ask. 馃挌馃挌馃挌馃挌
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krabmeata month ago
heyyyy, just wanteddd too seee ifff youu cooulddd writteee sommmeee karlll x time!travel readerrrrr, itt coouuullddd beee flufff orr anggssttt. whateeeveerrr youuu wantttt :] (morreeeee iiinnnffooo: reeaddderrr allsooo hasss the abillitttyyy to time travelll and karlll and themmm manageeedd tooo bump intoo each otherrr innn the innbetweeeennnn. bothhh offff themm telll storries aboutttt theiir adventuresss tooo one anotherrr and arreee having a gennuinely goooddd timme! tttheeeyyyy meeet agggainn in theeee lllooosssttt cittttyyyy offff mizzzuuuuu annnnddd youuu caannn dooo whatteeeveerrrr affftteerrr thhhatttt)
sorrryyy fooor myyyy tyyyypingggg ssstyyyleeeee (cccaaaannnn i beeeeeee "beeeee annnooonnnnn" bbbutttt wiithouttt theeee draggged outtt letttterrrssss? I ussseeeeeee beeeee/aviannnn/hiveeeee/boottttleeeesssss prrroooonnnnnouuunnsssss)
饾殱饾殥饾殩饾殠 饾殝饾殲饾殟饾殟饾殥饾殠饾殰
饾櫤饾殜饾殯饾殨 饾殹 饾殱饾殥饾殩饾殠饾殱饾殯饾殜饾殶饾殠饾殨饾殠饾殯!饾殯饾殠饾殜饾殟饾殠饾殯 (饾殭饾殨饾殜饾殱饾殬饾殫饾殥饾殞)
饾殞饾殤饾殜饾殯饾殜饾殞饾殱饾殠饾殯饾殰: Karl(Isaac), Ranboo(Charles), Dream(Ranbob), BadBoyHalo(Benjamin), Quackity(Cletus)
饾殩饾殜饾殥饾殫 饾殞饾殤饾殜饾殯饾殜饾殞饾殱饾殠饾殯饾殰 饾殭饾殯饾殬饾殫饾殬饾殲饾殫饾殰: they/them
饾殱饾殯饾殥饾殣饾殣饾殠饾殯 饾殸饾殜饾殯饾殫饾殥饾殫饾殣饾殰: brief mention of suggestive content, death, murder, explosions, glass breaking, cursing, weapons, water
饾殜饾殲饾殱饾殤饾殬饾殯饾殰 饾殫饾殬饾殱饾殠:
I HAD SO MUCH FUN WRITING THIS HOLY CRAP!!! firstly, welcome "bee anon" (bee/avian/hive/bottles) to my account! its lovely to have you here and thank you so much for the request! i hope this adds up to what you imagined and i hope you stick around! :]]
--------------------------
The In-Between. Any entity that normally roamed around there knew the place well. If you visited there, you visited often. Karl regularly roamed around the in between. The only face he saw there was his. Karl鈥檚 from different timelines traveled to the In-Between as well, but ever since he had found those ominous books that told him to steer clear of the 鈥渁lternate Karl鈥檚鈥, that鈥檚 exactly what he did. So seeing a new face there while roaming the brick-white palace startled him.
The stranger didn鈥檛 even get the chance to introduce themselves when Karl briskly grabs them by the arm and starts running to the room under the tree.聽
鈥淲oah-! Wait are you-鈥
But before the mystery person can finish their sentence, Karl cuts them off as quickly as possible.
鈥淪SHHHH! Please hold on a second, I鈥檒l let you know when you can talk.鈥
The mystery person nods and stays silent as they make their way under the big tree.
Once they arrive, Karl flops to the ground exhausted from the running.
鈥淚t鈥檚 the safest down here, no one can see what we鈥檙e doing. But that鈥檚 besides the point! Who the heck are you and how did you get here?!鈥
The mystery person slides down against the wall and onto the floor besides him. They think for a second, trying to recall how they had arrived.聽
鈥淚鈥檓 Y/n, I鈥檓 a time traveler and somehow I got HERE instead of the place I was planning on going to. I was walking around and I saw a bunch of the alternate versions of you around the place but I figured that if one of them were to- yknow, drag me away and under the tree, that鈥檇 be the one I鈥檇 need to talk to that isn鈥檛 a fake.鈥澛
Karl nods in understanding before he realizes.聽
鈥淲ait- how did you know about the safety room being under the tree? Or the 鈥榓lternate鈥 me鈥檚 not actually being from other realities?鈥
Y/n looks at Karl with a deadpan expression and leans back into the wall. They swing their arms out in front of them for dramatic effect.
鈥淲ell duh, I have an in between! You aren鈥檛 the only one, yknow. Did you get a bunch of those creepy, contradicting books from all around the place? The one that told me the useful information was in all caps, and the other one was talking about how great the place is and constantly used smiles. Not the traditional one though, like, it used the brackets instead of the parenthesis.鈥
Karl shoots up in surprise, they had gotten those too?! He was never aware that there were other time travelers that existed, let alone were able to get into other peoples in between! He nods, eager to ask them questions.
鈥淪o, where were you planning on going? You said you didn鈥檛 mean to come here, right?鈥
Y/n nods, remembering where they were trying to go previously.
鈥淵eah! I forgot the name, but I know that it鈥檚 some place underwater. An abandoned city or something. Enough about me though, one of the main reasons we both time travel is to tell stories, right? So tell me about the places you鈥檝e been! Also, what鈥檚 your name? You got mine but I never got yours.鈥
鈥淎h, right- I鈥檓 Karl-!鈥
Karl turned around and flipped up his hoodie to show his light gray initials embedded onto the white hoodie. Y/n had a long, white robe with vine-like accents on the hems. The ends of the sleeves had Y/n鈥檚 initials on them as well.
鈥淲ell鈥 the first place I鈥檝e ever visited was this place I like to call鈥.鈥橳he Town That Went Mad鈥! Ever play the video game 鈥楾own Of Salem鈥? It was basically that and I was like the host of it, sorta.鈥
Karl proceeded to explain the different personas and people to Y/n, there were people like Cornelius the Wise, Helga, Miles Memeington, Mayor Jimmy- Helgas husband, Robin the Orphan, Bob (he鈥檚 a builder, yknow), Catboy (very deep voice, no one knows why but it鈥檚 a strange contrast to the ears and tail. Mutant or furry??), and Jack the Farmer. He explained from how the orphan had tricked the entire town that he was a murderer when he was instead the Jester, to explaining what the word 鈥渄underhead鈥 meant in Helgas context after explaining how she ruthlessly and openly got her husband executed and then soon proceeded to sleep with Bob.聽
Both of them were crying tears of laughter, listening and recalling their own stories. By the time Karl had finished telling his story, Y/n was on the ground wheezing from how funny they thought the story was.
鈥淎nd your telling me they all just, DIED?! That鈥檚 so anticlimactic, I love it!鈥
It鈥檚 been maybe 3 hours or so of them discussing stories and laughing. As much as these two travel across the fabrics of the universe, they would have never imagined being able to finally tell someone about their travels and experiences!聽
Y/n then started talking about a Sky Dynasty that lived up in the clouds in a kingdom called The Kingdom Of Synnefa. When they had dropped in, they would have fallen straight through the clouds if a kind man by the name of Galen hadn鈥檛 found them hanging off a building ledge for their dear life! Galen let Y/n drop into his wagon and he took them to get Skywalkers, shoes specifically make for walking on clouds.聽
Y/n had then explained how a very old looking man who looked to be a pig hybrid approached them, asking them if they were new. Apparently the old pig man was the guardian of the Grand Library, saying how he adored the Kingdoms Greek history and fables. The funny part is that his name is Icarus, a very unfortunate demise that Icarus had in the past but apparently that was a sensitive subject for Icarus and he would get very upset if anyone brought it up.
Another 3 hours went by of this time Y/n telling their stories of their travels to The Kingdom Of Synnefa! Both Karl and Y/n were having a wonderful time chatting with one another about both the confusing rivalries between the carnivores and herbivores of the kingdom, as well as how the kingdom was slowly dying due to the mass amounts of pollution damage the 鈥済round dwellers鈥 have been inflicting on The Kingdom Of Synnefa.
Soon though, Y/n had to jump into their next travels- as well as Karl. They said their goodbyes to each other, both obviously upset about having to stop the fun and interesting chat.聽
鈥淟ook, when I leave I鈥檒l figure out how I got in, okay? If I don鈥檛 figure it out, it鈥檚 been a real pleasure Karl Jacobs. Anyways, off to the abandoned water city I go!鈥澛
Karl nods and waves his hands frantically at them, eager and hopeful for Y/n to visit him again.聽
鈥淪ee ya around Y/n!鈥
Y/n then proceeds to take out a small book and pen from inside their robe. They open it and quickly scribble something down before closing it and putting away. Y/n gives Karl a last friendly smile before disappearing in a snap. Before that, they manage to give him one last message.
鈥淗opefully!鈥
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Isaac wakes up in his bed by the sea docks. Meeting what seems to be his friends and roommates, Benjamin, Cletus, Charles and Monroe. Distant arguing can be heard from the docks. One of the voices sound oddly more familiar than the others to Isaac. Isaac walks over to the dock and finds two people arguing.聽
鈥淲hat鈥檚 going on here? Why are you guys arguing so early in the morning!鈥
The two people stand up and point at each other.
鈥淢ONROE DOESNT GIVE ME BACK THE F*CKING FISHING ROD!鈥
鈥淏ECAUSE THE LAST TIME YOU CAUGHT A FISH YOU KILLED IT, CLETUS!鈥
Monroe? Their voice sounds oddly similar to someone else鈥檚, but Isaac can鈥檛 quite put his finger on it. He looks down ignoring the minor situation, when he sees a small leather book- then it clicks. Monroe is Y/n! But before Isaac confronts Monroe (Y/n), he picks up the small leather book. It isn鈥檛 the one that Y/n had when they left Karl鈥檚 In-Between, but it instead had what looked like the directions and coordinates for The Lost City Of Mizu!
鈥淐HARLES! GET THE F*CK OVER HERE SO YOU CAN GUIDE US TO THESE COORDS!!鈥
Charles walks out of the shared dockside house alongside Benjamin, I hand him the book and start heading for the boats when Monroe stops me. They whisper loud enough so that I can only hear.
鈥淜arl? Is that you?鈥
鈥淵/n?! You recognize me!鈥
We get on the same boat while the others get on theirs as well, and set off following Charles to The Lost City Of Mizu.
鈥淥kay first, we call each other Isaac and Monroe, okay? Don鈥檛 break character.鈥
鈥淚 don鈥檛 even know HOW I remember! Usually I don鈥檛 until I leave!鈥
鈥淲ell that doesn鈥檛 matter right now, just try to act like Isaac and not Karl.鈥
And that鈥檚 what they did. Karl was Isaac and Y/n was Monroe.聽
Once they found The Lost City Of Mizu, they met a man named Ranbob. Ranbob was the last resident of the city, and offered to show the group around. Rooms and rooms of full on history! It was like a huge museum filled with information of a place Ranbob called The Dream SMP, and Karl and Y/n were eating it up. Ranbob had suddenly disappeared, but the group didn鈥檛 pay much mind of it as they were trying to get into the Tree Dome.聽
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Tree Dome room was as marvelous as it was big. The tree was absolutely beautiful, and was also the supply of oxygen for the now abandoned city- though the tree still looks to be thriving tremendously. The group spots a chest on the tree and nominates Cletus to go and retrieve it. Branch after branch and he鈥檚 finally up there! But soon after fallen and blown into oblivion because in suddenly appears Ranbob with loads and loads on TNT. Placing it all around the tree and the room, all he says is
鈥淣o one survives when they come here.鈥
And聽
BOOM!
He sets off the TNT in the tree, Cletus. Before he died, Cletus luckily tossed the group the book he essentially died for so before reading it, the group ran out of the room and shut the iron doors.
The rest of the group had also found a book that had a key to a 鈥淪ecret Room鈥, and very soon after they were making they鈥檙e way down a certain 鈥淪ecret Room鈥 only to be met with another book and a room to the side full of lava parkour. Apparently the last person to try and make it past the lava parkour failed, but they know the key or next clue HAS to be there, so Benjamin is nominated to do the lava parkour, failing and falling into the lava on the final step. Bravely after watching his friend die, Isaac (Karl) decides he鈥檚 gonna take a go at the parkour, and succeeds! He gets the key and directions to the final room before they can escape and heads to the final room with Monroe and Charles.
The final room is...strange, to say the least. Black brick walls and flooring, the walls lined with diamond armour and weapons. At the end of the small hallway rested what looked like a terrarium. One of the walls were made of glass so they could look in, and what they saw wasn鈥檛 what they were expecting. A normal flat biome with grass blocks, a mini cave in the corner that had a few gold ores in it if you looked hard enough, and the strangest of all was the statue of a looming, smiling, green figure in the very center.聽
鈥淓veryone had a person they idolized.鈥
Ranbob suddenly appears, interrupting the 3 taking in the room.
鈥淩anbob? Dude what the f*ck?!鈥
Y/n reaches for one of the diamond axes lining the wall, when suddenly Ranbob unsheathes a netherite sword.聽
鈥淒on鈥檛 touch anything.鈥
That鈥檚 enough to get Y/n to back up from both the weapons AND Ranbob.聽
鈥淗ow are you even here? We thought you DIED!鈥
But Ranbob didn鈥檛 seem to be bothered nor wanted to be bothered by such minuscule questions, and instead walked towards the glass of the terrarium.聽
鈥淭his is my idol. His name is Dream.鈥
鈥淲as he a good person..?鈥
Karl questioned hesitantly. He didn鈥檛 wanna anger or irritate Ranbob after seeing what he said to Y/n.
鈥淗mm, yes, he鈥檚 a good person. Depending on what you think.鈥
Karl walks up to the glass and shatters an opening with his elbow. He, Charles and Y/n step into the terrarium, observing the statue and its habitat more closely. But they didn鈥檛 get the chance to say much more. Ranbob unsheathes his sword for the last time, trapping everyone inside the terrarium.聽
鈥淣o one makes it out alive.鈥
GASP!
鈥淲hat the- where are we?鈥
鈥淵/n鈥? Y/n! Your back!鈥
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pansexualpastaa month ago
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I get it. I will never have things like other people. For whatever fucking reason, I'll never be right. I'll never have the right body. I'll be too big or too small. My hair will be too long, too short, not dyed the right color. My nails will be too long or too short. I'll be too fem or too masculine. I'll be too weird or not weird enough. I'll either be the stand out or the novelty. I'll too smart or not smart enough. Too educated or not educated in the right way. I'll never have enough money or security. I'll always have pain because that's the body I was born into. I'll never eat properly, exercise enough, or get enough hours of sleep. I'll never be the person that people miss when they look around the table to see who didnt show. People will never see my worth because they will only see my value to them and my cavalier smile that tells them I have a plan and a pathway out of here, when I haven't got either. They will call when they need something. Advice from the one who only looks like they know. But no one ever checks on me. Not that I'd know what to do with a human friendship anyway. I'm nasty, vain, cruel, and damning. I dont give a fuck about anyone, but I care about everyone. I dont know how to say no properly, and I dont know how to say yes either. I dont know how to ask or negotiate terms. I make promises to everyone, including myself, that I mean in the moment, only to find myself scrambling for reasons why I cant later.
I never wanted a normal life. Not really. Couldn't have it if I wanted it. Spent my time doing the wrong things and money buying the wrong things. I dont know anyone whose totally happy, and honestly, that sounds dreadfully dull. It all seems boring and awful and like a bunch of lies. But it'd be nice if I could feel like I had something and was really going to do it. I just want to feel like my debts and my demons are two lengths behind, not one.
Also, can my whore of a strung out half sister not become a millionaire because she fucked a guy who was nice to her, got pregnant, and married him? Why does she get half? As narratives go, fuck him. I always cheer for the women because men are shit. I should know. But why does she get to pick up all that cash and just move on? Why does she get to drag her kids out to the middle of the countryside and dump them in a nowhere town because she thinks it's quaint? A town that has nothing and is nothing. Where the only entertainment is sex and fentanyl and the only education is a school 30 mins away with less than a 100 students a grade. Why does she get to cheat on her husband, who always was a total cock, and just move in with her dead best friend's husband? Now she can drive one of his three classic American cars to the market, where she works a few hours a week selling honest to christ farm to table produce, local honey, and fresh lamb slaughtered the day before. Her children are those lambs. One on the street, barely recognizable to me, stealing cash from my wallet when I get up to use the washroom after buying her a meal. Like I left it there by mistake. I know what she is. Take it all, my love, my dear sweet niece. Take every last dollar. I'm sure you can guess that my pin is my birthday backwards. I'll give you a full 48 hours before I call it in lost. When you told me your parents wouldn't buy you glasses just a few days before your 15th birthday, I was enraged in a way I dont think I've ever been. They made you feel stupid and fat, putting you in with the underperforming teens. The one's who were born in that small town and never had the chance you had when you were little and lived in the big house in the city. Why couldn't they just buy you glasses, pants without holes, shoes for health class, and a tutor? Remember when I taught you how to mix hair dye? You were sharp as anything. I tried my fucking damndest to get your mom to let you live with me, to take you away from those things when your sense of self worth began to drain from your big brown eyes and you wanted to start fights and smoke with the older boys. It does no good, I know, but I will blame her until the day I die--my selfish fucking sister. She just couldn't stand to let you go, but she wouldn't help you either. And then she let you go to foster care. That last time you had gotten home from rehab and ODed, she told me how your father, who didnt believe in eye glasses, whatever the fuck that means, stabbed the needle through your chest to deliver the antidote that forced your heart to beat, lungs to inflate, and eyes to open. And I begged her to let me talk to you. I begged shamelessly because I had nothing to leverage but her love for me and her love for my live for you. But she would not knock on your bedroom door and hand you the phone, and I knew then that I hated her. I should have told her a lot of things, but she was always more interested in telling a story than hearing one. Even last night, on the phone, listening to her tell me the same thing for the sixth or seventh time, I was silent because I'd already agreed with her four times, and it was clear to me that she didnt want my response. She wanted my attention.
My sister is thinking of going back to uni for fuck's sake, with all her soon to be wealth. Education is important. My curly haired niece couldnt see the fucking board, but she will go back to finish the degree she started decades ago before she dropped out to have her first born. She will probably write a bestseller about her life and make another million.
I remember when I was 15 myself. I'd just turned, and she called the house. I had no idea I even had a sister. Always wanted one, you know? Only children are like that, always lonely because we learn how to self-sooth, and humans weren't meant for it. Who is ever normal that raised himself or herself? She was 30, the age I never thought I'd reach. I was like you then. I let their revealed secret be a crescendo in a long symphonic tragedy. I let rage feed rage. I wanted to live fast, died young. I never wanted the trappings of marriage, kids, a mortgage, and a career. I had seen what family does. Strange now how I feel the deficit of those things as I grow older and my friends pair off to start their adult lives.
I dont want anyone's life but my own, but fuck me. I work three jobs and I'm trying to get a grad degree so I can do better. I guess I'll live past today, tomorrow, 30, and maybe even 60. I dont believe in god or fate. But fuck, I just want to feel like I dont have to work twice as hard to get half as much every damn day. I dont believe in cosmic balance. I just want her to be miserable--my sister--every day. I dont want her to enjoy her money. I want her to lose it or be guilt ridden. It doesnt even have to be that grand. I just want her to wake up each day and feel jealous of happier people, of people who find people they love who love them back. I want her to always wonder why her children never come to visit, and one day, if her children have children, I want her to wonder why they never come by long enough to stay the night. I want her to want to eat lunch with a friend, but find that there is no one in her phone who will respond. And one day, when she is in the nursing home, I want to visit her. I want her to squint up at me with her 90 year old eyes and ask me to pass her glasses so she can see me.
And I will slip those frames into my sweater pocket like a junkie teenager stealthily nicking cash and debit card from her uncle's wallet as he gets up to use the washroom. Then with the slightest cavalier smile, the one that tells no one that I have a plan, I will say, there are no glasses on the night stand, my love. You have never worn any.
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indigo474a month ago
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Suns out guns out! 427
i drove to work today with no shoes on, sun in my face and radio turned UP! Drove home the same way- only had my window down too! the day is beautiful!! My boss who claims she isnt my boss but is my supervisor has decided I am her confidant. She has taken to stopping by my desk numerous times a day- we sit across from each other so why?? And has started forwarding me emails im not suppose to see. im honestly concerned SHE is going to get in trouble from the ICE Queen for spending too much time at my desk. I think ive figured something out - my job is all about reports. there is a report for everything. As long as my numbers are good on the report then im good. These people think im doing a great job and i suppose i am but the honest honest truth is im barely working- yes somethings i have to think real hard about and come up with a solution- and i do! i have to get along with others- i do what im suppose to do- only it takes me probably half my workday to do- if that. its FUCKING boring- Im waiting for someone to say something- how can this happen- and the people on my "team" are doing even less then me! And now with my supervisor- i feel like im living in some weird universe - IM NOT COMPLAINING- not even a little- im honestly amazed! Im exactly where i wanted to be- i said a year ago i wanted to be on this supervisors team and here i am. my only concern was me being able to manipulate her- im certainly not trying to- and i really dont want to but she is ego driven as are most people- and it doesnt take much to get her going and before you know it an hour has gone by and shes telling me everything -she told me she has 12 personalities! WTF is this real life? Hey I am thankful for once in my life i dont have to work so hard to make money. Drew stopped by my desk today as he does most days. I told him i ran under the full moon this morning- he said he did too. I told him a while ago- he actually asked a group of us if we could do anything what would we do-i said i wanted to start running- i told him it was hard- he was so nice - he said it is hard but keep showing up and you'll get it. I thanked him and then as he was walking way he turned around and said to me "April im proud of you" almost wrecked me. A lot of people talk a lot of shit on him. he's always treated me with kindness and respect... for that I am grateful!!
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wolfstsrshippera month ago
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its just me doing a renison thing for the first time ever
and neil and allisons friendship glance, its very quickly written but i wanted to because i needed the instant seritonin, really we just see renees scary side聽(tw for harassment implication and violence mention)
No one ever quite grasped why andrew and renee were friends
Or even why neil mentioned she was dangerous like andrew
No one believed the slight comments he ever made that implied that
Renee was a sweetheart聽
She had a kind smile and was the most faithfully christian girl you could know
So no one truly believed she was dangerous like andrew
That is
Until they saw it
Not actively
But they saw a glimpse of what neil was saying
How they were similar
It was evening practice after the school day
Nearly everyone was there and getting geared up
Andrew and neil were closer to the corner, andrew sitting down on the bench as neil leaned against the lockers and was talking to him in russian
Matt was tying his shoes as dan ranted about the freshman, who were silently off to the side scowling read: jack mainly
Kevin wasnt there yet, and renee was tying her hair up in a pony tail a bench away from andrew and neil
When kevin did walk in, it was with allison trailing behind him, holding her face at an angle
Aaron and wymack behind them
He went into his office and aaron over next to nicky, who came out of the bathroom and stood near matt
Kevin walked over between dan and matt and the freshman and began to get ready, allison went to the other side of renee, conveniently faced away, never fully turning to look at renee
Which was weird
Renee gave a small smile, which allison returned
But she still didnt even move her head
It was like she was hiding half her face
Andrew caught on very quickly and dismissed it
Neil caught on seconds later, and passed renee a confused look, who offered one back
鈥淎lly?鈥 She asked sweetly
鈥淗m?鈥
鈥淵ou okay?鈥 Renee got to her feet and went to stand next to her
鈥淵eah.鈥 Allison turned more away
Neil couldnt see renees facial expression, but allison sighed and turned to face renee fully
And he couldnt help raise his eyebrows a tad, surprised
Even one of andrews raised, just slightly, almost to little to notice, but he went back to his neutral expression rather quickly
鈥淚鈥檓 fine, babe, i promise.鈥 Allison said, turning back to get ready
Everyone was looking at her
鈥淵ou cant play like that鈥 dan piped up, a mix of shock and anger
Matt and kevin agreed
allison looked annoyed and turned to neil
鈥淵ou dont agree do you?鈥
He shrugged
鈥淣eils not allowed to have a say in injury because he鈥檒l play when he鈥檚 bleeding out.鈥 dan scowled
Andrew let out a small tiny huff of air that showed he was both amused and annoyed at that prospect
鈥淲ho?鈥 Renee asked
All eyes were on her now
Renees voice had gone
Well
B l a n k
It was a twin to Andrews apathetic look
She even looked blank
There was nothing on her face at the moment that gave anyway any sign of emotion
鈥淲hat?鈥
She just stared, not repeating her question
鈥淛ust some asshole who doesnt like rejection鈥
Ally turned away again, but renee gently grabbed her chin with two fingers and made her look at her again
She was...well鈥 the left side of her face wasnt great
Her lip was split and eye a tad swollen, mostly just one conjoined purple and green bruise
鈥淚t鈥檚 okay.鈥 allison said after a moment
鈥淲ho.鈥 renee asked again
No not asked
Almost a demand
Her tone had barely suppresed anger at the edges
Neil had a feeling he and andrew and possibly allison were the only to hear it
The only ones who could read empty tones that is
Renee kept looking at her with that too empty expression, bordering apathetic聽
鈥淚 told you, just some persistent asshole who doesn鈥檛 like harsh rejection鈥
鈥淧ersistent?鈥
鈥淩enee, im okay.鈥
She tilted her head to the side for a second, before straightening a bit
She dropped her hand but not her gaze
Finally allison sighed and gave her a name
The name was condemning
Renee nodded, looking over to andrew
not even neil could read their silent conversation
But what felt like an eternity later, andrew gave a small shrug
For the quickest second, maybe even less, renee smiled
But not her sweet smile
It was one of pure malice, her eyes flashed with the expression of seeking blood, but it went away into a sweet innocent smile in the snap of a finger
She looked back at the team, and said 鈥渆veryone ready for practice?鈥 in the lightest tone
Kevin was already out the door, renee following behind
Allison sat on the bench, knowing she wasnt going to be allowed to practice
Andrew followed soon after, then aaron and wymack and nicky, then the freshmen and dan
All that was left was matt and Allison and neil
Matt walked over to neil, clapped his shoulder, and shook his head
鈥淒ude...you...how..you always said she was all鈥︹ Matt sighed 鈥淗ow did you know?鈥
鈥淜now?鈥
鈥淪hes鈥 arguably scarier than andrew. Shes so kind and sweet all the time, ive never seen her like that鈥
鈥淚 told you a few times.鈥
鈥淵eah just鈥 i never saw it.鈥澛
鈥淣ot my fault.鈥 Neil said, shrugging
Matt nodded and then shook his head, seemingly lost
He sighed once more and headed out
leaving just neil and allison
鈥淵ou good ally?鈥
She scoffed 鈥淥f course i am. Just sentenced some asshole to death, this鈥檒l be amusing, especially since I already took his ability to have kids鈥
Neil nodded with a slight smile
鈥淐oming?鈥澛
鈥淵eah.鈥澛
Neil went over to the mini-fridge and tossed an ice pack to her
Which she caught
Then they followed after everyone else
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4ng3l-c4k3a month ago
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vent-
i think i maybe understand why i feel so guilty all the time. im surrounded by people who have really really hard lives, and i dont. im very very privileged, im white, im middle class, i dont need a job, my college is paid for, my car and phone are paid for, i have two loving parents and a very healthy relationship, im not diagnosed with any mental disorders, my life is really really good and im so so sooo thankful for everything i have and everyone in my life, and i recognize that not everyone is as privileged as me and i do my damn best to put myself in everyone elses' shoes and never judge, and always be there for people who need/want it.
but the problem is that everyone in my life has such hard problems to deal with.
my mother: has depression, binge eating disorder, had a really hard childhood, moved away from her family at age 20 with my dad, who was not right for her, lives with only me and her dog since shes divorced, doesnt have enough money to attend her aunt's funeral in a month, has blood clots in her lungs, and is just generally anxious
my dad: an immigrant, was poor af twice in his life, took on all the debt after the divorce, his mom doesnt want to see him, his dad doesnt want to see him, probably has lots of trauma that he hasnt told me about, his best (and only) friend went to jail for a crime he did not commit
my boyfriend: has really really emotionally abusive parents, bad grades, bad work ethic, wants to move out but cant save money for shit, grandparents are also lowkey abusive, used to have anorexia, now is overweight and hes struggling with that
friend A: has a really really bad eating disorder and depression and anxiety among many other things, has bad relationship with their father
friend D: also has really bad relationships with their father, mother, stepmother, and sisters, works 2 jobs, stressed af all the time, they're black, which results in lots of racism from customers
friend J: also has lots of mental issues, has to work, has really bad trauma and ptsd, has autism (not that there is anything wrong with that, but they vent a lot about how it can be difficult and how there is so much negative stigma), also has an eating disorder
other friends in general: have to work to pay for their own phones, cars, rent, etc. some have eating disorders and talk about it constantly, some have little siblings to watch over, no free time ever, sleep deprived, etc. etc.
the point is, as you can see, i go through nothing compared to everyone in this list, and while im so so thankful for the life i have, i feel like i can never talk about how i feel because i truly do go through nothing compared to everyone else. and yes "drowning in 2 feet and drowning in 20 feet is still drowning" yeah okay but ,,, i just wish i could help everyone so that i wont feel bad about asking them for help, but i cant help everyone, i cant help anyone because this is their life and i cant change it, and this is my life and i cant change it either.
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enchanted--realma month ago
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When Calls the Heart Live Ramples
Season 8 episode 9 Pre Wedding Jitters
That scene in 馃憦Nathan's 馃憦office馃憦 The lines they wrote for Kevin *chef's kiss* perfection. I mean, I still dont like this whole secret reveal thing. I think it's so dumb. Like, ain't no way the writers intended Nathan to have this secret when he first came to the show. I don't think he was suppose to have any secret at all. I mean, this whole, 'There's something he's not telling me' thing came out of nowhere. That aside, the love confession was great, again, and he left Elizabeth speechless again and she ran away, AGAIN. That tells me all I need to know. She cannot deny this man BECAUSE SHE LOVES HIM. And if y'all think otherwise than you're delusional.
The game at the bachelorette party. It was obvious from the promo for this episode how this would play out. She reaches for Nathan's hands and thinks he's the one. (I was predicting that she would know it was Nathan and then feel uncomfortable and move on, but that didnt happen. She thought he was Lucas *bleh. Though I was still right in thinking Nathan would be 'the one' during this little game). We like that. I really liked how the party scene lasted longer than I expected. It wasnt even too long of a scene, but it was definitely long for When Calls the Heart. This show really needs to work on it's pacing. Everything happens so fast bc they have to cut to the millions of side plots that happen in every episode. My gosh, would they give us some focus please.
When Lucas came by Elizabeth's house in the morning I enjoyed that they interacted more casually with each other it seemed, at least it did on Elizabeth's part. Just through small details like the way she was casually leaning in the doorframe or her tone of voice. She wasnt so awkwardly polite...but Lucas still was. Lucas is so polite it's uncomfortable. Like I don't feel like anybody could just be themselves around him, bc it's like every meeting has this awkward air of being polite to an acquaintance you dont know well. Ugh it's so weird. I didnt like that Elizabeth told him Nathan's reveal. I feel she should have kept that to herself. Ugh and then Lucas wanted to act all protective and 'talk' to Nathan. Oh please. That is not his place. Elizabeth is obviously the one who needs to talk with Nathan and it's no one else's business what goes in between them, besides Allie of course. And speaking of Allie, I thought her scenes were really good and thoughtful. I still think it was weird that Lucas got her a gift for her adoption ceremony, but whatever we are past that now. I like that her character is being more mature about everything too. I really hope we get a scene where Allie and Elizabeth have their own conversation though. They need it. I'm not sure how I feel about that obvious Paul (Florence's son) having a crush on Allie. It seems that the writers will want them to like each other. I guess it could be cute? It's just a little awkward bc we havent seen this Paul kid around before so it creates a weird air that the only reason he shows up now is to be a school crush for Allie. Eh. Jaeda was great though and I think she did her scenes well.
After Lucas and E talked, I think it's obvious to Lucas that Elizabeth has strong feelings for Nathan and that she's just running away from them. I mean, she told Lucas that when Nathan told her he loves her all she could do was say nothing and just leave. *holds out arms and stares with a 'well, there you have it' expression'* IT DOESNT GET ANY CLEARER THAN THAT. I wonder if the writers will make Lucas step down bc he cant be with someone who will never love him. Idk how Lucas will react honestly, Lucas's character is such a mystery to me I could never know what he would do in a situation that didnt involve setting up a perfectly romantic date or sweet talking someone with an annoyingly, unrealistic, perfectly understanding polite response.
Elizabeth was also super rude to the people she cares about in this episode. The way she talked to Rosemary. First, she didnt like hearing what Rosemary had to say, which implies that she may have been blaming Nathan for Jack's death. That is such a horrible thing to hold against someone. I mean I could understand why she would feel that way but just for a moment. I mean she should understand how completely wrong and irrational that thought process is and that she shouldnt blame Nathan. TWO, then she had the nerve to tell Rosemary something like 'why would you think that comment would help me right now'. Wow Elizabeth. Gee, maybe she's saying the truth and she's also your friend and just trying to talk things through and give her opinion as a way to help you through your difficult situation. God forbid she doesnt say the perfect thing that you needed to hear at that time, she can't read your mind. I thought that was incredibly rude. It hurt to see Rosemary hurt. And then later she told her that she should leave her house. *SCOFF* man, she was really hitting Rosemary hard this episode. If I were in Rosemary's shoes, yes I would be hurt, but I think I would mostly be understanding of what Elizabeth might be going through and not take anything personally. E's lucky that Rose is such a good friend. OH! What Rosemary told Nathan in the library! She totally implied with her little metaphor comparison that Nathan was making Elizabeth unhappy by getting in the way of true love, i.e. Lucas and Elizabeth. I-- wow! Everyone is against this man. I'm so glad that Nathan stands firm. I mean he knows that Elizabeth feels strongly for him based off her reactions to his honesty with her and how she never denies anything and just runs away. I mean, it's plain as day. Let's not forget the *speechless gaze into each other's eyes* 'I can't' from Honestly, Elizabeth.
I think that's it regarding the love triangle. I absolutely despise the Faith and Carson relationship. And I cant believe they made him say, come with me to Baltimore and we can see in a year if we want to get married. That is so dumb. He just asked Faith to drop everything and leave her life in Hope Valley for a 'I might break up with you in a year' situation. Dumb. This is definitely out of character for Carson. It's obvious the writers are just trying to get rid of him and make him not be missed by the audience. They clearly want us to favor Faith, but she couldnt be more annoying honestly. I wish she were leaving and Carson would stay in Hope Valley. But whatever.
I dont like how every side plot seems to be about some couple's budding relationship. I mean aside from the love triangle, we have Florence and Ned, Molly and Bill, Clara and Jesse (though not a budding relationship, it's still all about their relationship) and now Rachel and Christopher and oh yes also Fiona and whoever that guy is and wow I'm still missing Faith and Carson. Thats 6 other romantic relationships in the show (not including the also important one of Rosemary and Lee) and I'm probably leaving one out. Oh yes, now possibly Allie and Paul. 7. Seven relationship side plots!!! Omg I'm going crazy!! They need to learn how to write some actual plot! What happened to town problems and family drama! Thank goodness we have Henry Gowen and his son (cant believe I just complimented that out of nowhere concept but hey) and the oil thing with Lucas and Henry, barely ever a plot line. This show needs better writing. There's no glue holding the town together and even when there is, it's so small or happens so fast that it doesnt have any long lasting and meaningful affect.
If I weren't so invested in Elizabeth's plotline and in need of some wholesome tv, I would have stopped watching a long time ago. Oh and the last thing. The mention of Abigail. I'm so glad Henry mentioned her because she was very important to him and his character growth. His character arc is one of the saving graces of the show and it needs to be given more attention.
Okay in short, Elizabeth was hecka rude, Nathan is wonderful and so was that office scene. We also stan Allie. Next week's episode also looks like a dud and I dont think much will happen.
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