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the-metal-pixie · 1 month

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Well, this is me (This got kinda long mb 😭)

Rlly edgy cringe zombie metal fairy sona

Call me pixie, pixette or… I guess spacechild too?

She/her, gay girl, minor, yada yada

Anyways, sometimes I draw for fun and I’m sorta kinda good at it

Glad to be here, lots more fanart coming soon, I’m really grateful for everyone who’s been supporting me <3

I got a lot of really sweet and fun responses bfdsfghitrtgyhcu I don’t deserve this 🫶🫶🫶🫶

Never been in tumblr before so I’m still getting used to this

(No way I’m finishing this drawing- lazy)

Fun(?) facts yay

- I play guitar and violin

- My favorite metal genres are Thrash, power, neoclassical, glam, and recently started listening to death metal

- I have a pretty broad music taste, I have a soft spot for popular, pop if you will, music from the 1920s to 2000s

- I usually dress like I’m allergic to colors but sometimes I need to look like the girliest girl’s girl that ever girled in the world

- I like to pretend I’m this really hardcore stereotypical teen but I couldn’t hurt a fly if I wanted to (being fr rn, it would probably beat me up first)

- I discovered KISS during mid-pandemic but haven’t interacted much with the fandom until beginning of last year (when I started doing fanart). Read my first kiss fanfic at my worst new year all-nighter and haven’t recovered since

- I feel kinda bad for reading/making gay content when I’m not even attracted to men

- When I like something, I try to learn and remember as much as I can about it (I have great memory for these things but horrible for everything else, somehow not failing school)

- Speaking of, here’s some stuff I like (aka things I devote my time and energy to consume and can’t shut up about): Michael Jackson, KISS, the actual fking titanic, Sanrio (DONT LEAVE I promise I’m not one of THOSE people), internet horror, girly things, lost media, old Barbie movies, 2010s YouTube, Monster High g1, attractive women

- RANDOM TANGENT! List of attractive women I find attractive (no particular order except for the first one):

<<WINONA RYDER>>

Joann Jett

Natasha Lyonne

Amy Lee

Hayley Williams

Kristen Stewart

Cyndi Lauper

80s Xuxa

Ann and Nancy Wilson

Ace Frehley

- Favorite movies (Actually in order):

Titanic

But I’m a Cheerleader

Rocky (1976)

Grease (1978)

Wizard of Oz

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

- Ace made me want to pick up a guitar, wow, big deal, so original

- I legit thought he was a girl when I first saw him without makeup (There’s no way I was the only one, or maybe I’m just dumb)

Spacechild lore + Fanfic related stuff at the very end

I talked briefly about this on the previous post, but I have this story on the Spaceman and Starchild that I plan around while I’m sleeping (I don’t have anywhere to write it down but still remember all of it) can’t really explain how my brain works BUUT what I can do is tell you the story!

Since I can’t write, feel free to borrow or steal any of my ideas since I’m probably never using them (unless I decide to make an illustrated novel/webcomic or something, but don’t expect anything from me)

Starchild is a lonely alien living in what’s left of the only planet that used to orbit him before he became a Star being (basically a living star going boom supernova and transforming into a humanoid). His only “company” is a woman who visits him in his dream, to whom he refers to as The Elder (It’s kinda like a parent child relationship, she’s the star that “gave birth” to him, get it? Star-child? I’m really smart, I know). He can see the future but since nothing ever happens to him, there’s nothing to predict… UNTIL

He has a dream about laying down on a dark, grassy field staring up at the sky, as he usually did, but this time, the stars that were always so far away, appeared to be curiously looking back at him, eager to know what was going to happen. Among them, there was a bigger, brighter blue light that appeared to be coming towards him. Scared, he tried to reach out to the elder, but she didn’t answer, right before the light got to him, he woke up

After waking up, Starchild just brushed it off as a strange dream and decided to take a walk. He eventually found himself sitting on a familiar looking field, he looked up, but everything seemed normal except for an unusual light out in the distance who appeared to be getting closer. Is it a shooting star? Is it a spaceship? Is it a… COMET?

It crashed right beside him, and when he opened his eyes, there it was. A frozen ice rock sitting right beside him, but when he looked up at it, there was something, someone sitting on top of it

A strange man looked back at him with a smile

There’s more but It’s not completely set in stone, I just know I want Spaceman to take Starchild to see earth and have fun adventures with him + Catman and Fox

They were really close friends that like to travel together, then one day they got turned into animals by an ankh wizard while visiting Egypt (also not set in stone but I really want Vinnie to make an appearance)

After their shared traumatic experience, they become practically brothers, learning how to live with their powers and animalistic needs

I wanted to maybe add a Demon cameo but idk where he could fit 🤘

FAV FANFIC TROPES LETS GO

- Slow burns

-“There was only one bed”

- Denial

- Found family (if you couldn’t tell by this point)

- Characters with no grasp on social cues

- Height difference

- Hurt Comfort

Other fic ideas I think about but aren’t as developed as the previous one

- Spacechild raising a baby (Would probably take place after the first story if it happens to have a sequel)

- Actual superhero origin stories

- Spaceman accidentally clones himself and ends up with an opposite version of him (Basically Tommy and Ace as some kind of opposite twins)

- Re-writing of kiss meets the phantom (Even though it’s already perfect it the way it is)

- Fox and Catman backstory

This is finally over

It’s the 2nd time I’m writing this thing bcs my dumbass forgot to save it 🫶

Anyways If anyone read this whole thing, thank you

I have no idea how to end this 🤘

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rainderthesomeone · 14 days

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Its official :>

I know I've said it here and there on a few posts on transgender stuff, but its a official, I'm trans :D

TW: I talk about abuse and body dysphoria in this post, you dont have to read the rest, this section is just me sharing my experiences in my teenage years with a homophobic as hell republican as a father.

I've known for a while like ever since I was in Middle School, I had a really hard time fitting in with other girls, I tried making friends with them but they were all into make up and dress's and talking about boys and other stuff, I made at least one friend in middle school but they left me for a group of girly girls, and I wasn't interested in what they liked, I was into a lot of things they were not interested in, I was a huge nerd, I liked games, Godzilla, movie production, comics, marvel, star wars, fnaf, dinosaurs, bendy, (not saying girls dont like these things, girls can like anything guys :D women are amazing I know a lot of amazing girls now :>) nothing they liked and when they saw that they weren't interested in me anymore, but I connected with the guys a lot more, but they always saw me as the girl who tagged along and needed to be treated gently, at first I had no interest in the lgbtq community or the idea of being something else other than what I already was, I couldn't even really talk about, since the topic of gay and gender ideology wasn't allowed in the house I used to live in, my father hated gay people, said they were wired, and shouldn't be his words not mine "frolicking around and being queer" da hell dose that mean? im still baffled by that, he's also that kind man who thinks lesbians are cool and gay men shouldn't exist, it was that level of misogyny and homophobia, looking at it now, it was really disgusting and disturbing, but I was 12 I didn't know any better.

but than as I got older I became more aware, and started questioning things, I was 13 in my room, on my phone, and I found this artist who was drawing deltarune characters, deltarune was also a huge eye opener to the lgbtq comunity for me, since kris identified as none binary, but I found one of the oc's the artist made and they identified as A gender, and I was like whats that and looked into it more and more, and than I went from I dont know who or what I am, to maybe im a demi girl, maybe im A Gender, maybe im none binary and than boom, it clicked, I went with they/them/there's for a while, but I began to feel uncomfortable, by being refred to as her, she, I started hating wearing a braw and how scratchy and annoying it felt, I began hating my chest, I stopped wearing shorts due to my legs being abnormally hairy and that girls arent supposed to be hairy, at one point my dad was going to put me through a hole body hair removal process which would have removed all my body hair, and he was going to do it without me knowing, until my mother told me, she was the most supportive person I had while going through this, I was litteraly terrified to say no to my dad, but eventully he didint go through with it, but I still wasnt allowed to have body hair, every time we went shoe shopping he tried to get me pink shoes, and brands women would only use, we went on a cruise and we had to dress up, but I didint want to since I would have had to wear a dress, blue jeans were the only thing I had that was close to guy clothes, I wasnt allowed anything remotley masculine, only my mom would let me have products like old spice, and she took me guy clothe shopping but it had to be in secret from my father, who would hurt me and my mother if he found out, not physically well he would probably slap me, but only yell at my mother, which still wasnt good, eventully we left his sad ass, and now me and my mom live in a apartment together, and from there I could freely explore who I was, a month later I came out as trans to my mother right after we left, and im in therapy with an amazing therapist and I have amazing friends who dont fully understand but support me in every direction, only triggering thing Ive experinced so far was not being able to change my pronouns to he him lol, Curse you school bored! XD

anyway sorry for the lenghty slightly depressing post, I just wanted to share my story here since I have the platform to do so now, the freedom of speech is very rewarding and validating lol, origanlly this was going to be a post about "guys I got my first chest binder oh and btw im ftm" but I wanted to get this off my chest no pun intended and open myself up more on here, the trans comunity on tumblr has been amazing so far, especially the tf2 comunity on here, I truly feel welcomed and comfortable being here.

lot of grammar issues in here, grammars not my strong suit plus its 11 pm for me right now, im heading to bed lol, good night everyone!

#transgender #coming out as trans #trans rights #trans masc #ftm trans #im also not on any medication as of righting this once im settled finacially ill bring yall on that journey with me lol #if any one has any tips on trans masc I would really appreciate it XD cuz im still exploring #and its gonna be my first day tomorrow binding so uh lets see how that go's lol #k that enough from me back to tf2 comics :D

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secretmajimasimp · 3 years

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When I say I don't like dressing femininely often I dont mean it cause I feel insecure about seeing myself in it. I plain don't feel like a girl in those moments. I wanna dress like a dude at times without it becoming some huge thing. But I can't. It'll always turn into a tsunami of questions that I frankly don't want. I just wanna exist in peace. And I don't get how to explain that to someone that changed their entire style for men

#I'm sorry for the rant im just so exhausted with feeling this way #i think one of one of my most memorable moments with her was this convo we were having about heels #i made a throwaway comment about sticking to flats if i cant stay in my normal shoes #and i thought nothing of it #but then she fought me on it #her very first argument was What if your man wants you to wear heels?#i was just so confused #why would i change something so stupid and small for someone?#if they're really bothered by the way i dress do they really like me for me?#ever since then i've never really felt comfortable expressing myself though clothes around her #she always tries to make me dress more girly and i just...dont want to be that girl all the time

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moved2usagiiboo · 3 years

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Love spell

MINORS DNI (I know I can not stop you but if I find out, you will be blocked.) This is my first time writing a fan fiction on Tumblr, let's see how this goes !

Warnings: Degrading, face fucking, explicit description, oral male receiving, sexual acts using toys. (Let me know if I missed any)

As a young girl, you believed in finding your prince charming, he'd swoop in on his mighty steed and steal your heart. You'd be enamored by his wits and courage, and he your beauty and intelligence. "The one".

At the age of 17, a high school student obsessed with the idea of traditional love. You found him. Your one and only, but he was far from prince charming, he didn't ride a mighty steed nor own a castle, but he was yours and you love him. Your highschool sweetheart, you both have cried together, laughed together, experienced many emotions together. You, in many ways, were each other's firsts.

First break down, first date, first hand holding, first kiss, first lover, and after a year of dating, you were each others' first time.

You could still remember the night, you have both been planning this for months. On your one year anniversary, you would get a room for the night at a local love hotel, there would be soft music playing, dimmed lights, candles burning, and that's where and how he take your virginity and you his. Perfect.

It didn't go that way to say the least, being very inexperienced. The first time he tried to penetrate you, you pushed him off and hide under the blanket saying, "that's not going to fit", during foreplay you accidentally hit his head with your own, not to mention almost setting the room on fire with the lit candles. But after many laughs and giggles, you successfully lost your virginity to him and you couldn't be happier.

It was far from movie perfect but for both you and him it was everything and more.

Present day you are almost two years into your relationship and you both couldn't be happier. Draken treated you with the utmost respect and care, he always takes care of you, there's barely any arguments between the two of you. Everything is perfect. Kind of.

That's how you found yourself in the streets of Shibuya's red light district, near the brothel where your lover grew up in, so you think. You looked down at your phone.

"Shit!" You hit the side of your phone as it read "connection lost, rerouting", this had been the third time it has done this, you zoned out while trying to fix your phone so you can actually make it to your destination before it gets too late. You didn't hear the woman calling your name.

"Y/N!" You felt a hand gripping your shoulder, spinning you around to face them.

"Oh! Akai!" You exclaimed happily as you locked eyes with the person in front of you, a younger woman in a red silk dress, short blonde hair with long lashes.

"What are you doing out here? It's late. Shouldn't you be home by now?" She asked in a concerned tone looking you up and down. You wore an all black hoodie with baby yellow accents, along with black joggers.

"Oh, well, I'm was looking for you." You said bashfully with a slight giggle in your tone.

"Oh?" Akai questioned.

"Well, not you specifically but the hotel! You see, I got lost trying to find it and my stupid phone keeps rerouting me!" You complained, while pushing your phone in her face to show her your problem. She simply laughs, she locks arms with yours.

"Dont worry, big sister Akai will take you there, then you can explain why you're looking for us in the first place." Akai said with a wink.

A few minutes passed and you've arrived at the brothel, she brought you a drink and sat you down in her room with a couple of other girls, you all on the floor together, after short introductions and small talk Akai 'cut to the chase' as she likes to say. Chugging her bottle of beer, she looked at you with her slightly flushed face, along with the rest of the girls there.

"Spill the beans, whats going on? Trouble in paradise?" Akai smirked crawling her way towards you. You lifted your knees to your chest wondering if you should even be here, was this a stupid idea? You must've sat with your thoughts for a while, Akai looked at you with a bit of sadness in her eyes.

You could feel your face heating up with embarrassment, your heart was beating out of your chest. You figured this would be the best place to go to learn how to do it but what if they would make fun of you? What if they tell Draken? You really didn't think this through as well as you should have.

"Hey, whatever is going on.. You can tell us, we see you like our little sister ya' know?" She says with a smile, wrapping her arm around your shoulder to comfort you. Shes always been like this, ever since she walked in on you and Draken kissing, she's been the biggest help and supporter of your relationship. You couldn't ask for a better friend.

With a deep breath you decide tell them your issues, you were here anyways.

"Okay, so, I want to learn how to give oral." You said looking down at the ground fiddling your fingers, quite embarrassed about what you just said.

"Draken has, well, done it to me a couple of times and I wanted to return the favor. The thing is, everytime I try he rejects me. Telling me, 'i don't have to do things like that'. He's so considerate sometimes it pisses me off." You ranges to the girls as they listened with opening ears.

"I mean, what type of guy rejects a blow job? It's not like he has erectile dysfunction or his dick is small. I just don't get it." You were practically fuming at the memory of him pushing him off of you as you tried to suck him off.

"Maybe he's just shy?" One of the girl's offered her opinion.

"Oh no, this man is not shy! At all" You explained remembering some of the down right filthiest things he's muttered in your ears during your time together. "He's anything but that."

"Maybe he's scared you'll bite it." Akai said causing herself and others to snicker at her comment. You could only sigh.

"Would I be that bad my first time?" You muttered to yourself.

"Everybody is, it's a practice thing." Akai explained, she got up to grab herself another bottle of beer. "What you need, is practice." She smirked handing you the bottle.

"Yeah, but how? He won't let me." You said tilting your head at her statement, taking the bottle out her hand.

"Alright girlies, get out." Akai said while looking at the other women in the room with the two of you.

"Ehhh? Whyy? We wanna help too!" One of the girl exclaimed, getting multiple replies of other girls who agree.

"We don't wanna make Y/n feel any more embarrassed than she already does." Also sighed at the childish responses of her coworkers.

You were hiding your face in your phone at this point, it was honestly one of your worst ideas, but if it helped you with Draken it was worth it.

Small "awh man", "I wanted to hear more", and other complaints came out their mouths as they left the room one by one. You waves goodbye to the girls muttering a small thank you to them for listening.

"Alright!" Akai exclaimed while squatting down to reach under her bed, pulling out a box full of,

"Toys! The best practice you can get in such a small amount of time." She smirked pushing the box towards you. You could feel the blood rush to your face as you stared at the box filled with sex toys, you're far from innocent but there's still things you've never used or seen before, toys being one of them. Akai dug in the box full of excitement.

"I'll be your first!" She smirked, she pulled out multiple many toys just throwing them out the box without a care as to where they'll land. Finally, she pulled out an unopened box, "private fun" read the lable, it was all black with dark purple letters on it, it was a sleek box, very fancy to say the least.

"I haven't used this one yet, considering I never feel the need to. This'll be my first gift to you." She said tossing the box to you while looking for something else in her closet.

"Just what exactly is this?" You asked picking up the box to further examine it.

"A dildo! Duh." She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world,

"Oh! And this!" She threw a small bottle towards you, "Love spell" a small pink bottle that could be mistaken for a 5-hour energy drink.

"Draken won't be back home for a while, which means, we have around" She looked at the clock hanging on her wall, "an hour and thirty minutes. Which is just enough time!"

"Wait wait wait!" You looked at her with complete confusion, "I have no idea what's going on! Why do I need all of this?" You looked at your hand and the items that are now in your possession, "Love spell", a dildo, and beer.

"Welllllll," Akai said drawing out the word, "You need practice, not like you can fuck a rando before Draken gets back, you also need liquid courage and a secret weapon!" She explained. "Now we don't have much time, chug both the beer and our secret weapon." She winked at you.

You're really starting to reject your decision, but there's no backing out now. You opened the bottle of whatever was in the pink container and chugged it down, quickly opening the beer to help with the bitter taste of the first liquid. It could show on your face the level of disgust you had for drinking this, you could never understand how Draken drank beer all the time, and whatever the hell this 'love spell' is taste disgusting. It was bitter and tangy, it even overpowered the beer.

Akai worked on opening the package to the dildo, while you were dealing with the taste of the liquids you just drank. She looked at you with menacing eyes and a devious smile that sent shivers down your spine.

She stood up and squatted in front of you holding that item in her hand as if it was nothing. Your eyes widened at the sight of it, it was big, yet flimsy. It was a pretty light blue color for such a naughty item.

"Take it." She handed you the dildo, "grip it with both hands." And so you did it. Following her every command.

"N-Now what?" You questioned feeling slight tipsy from the bottle of beer you just chugged, your face flushed from either holding a dildo or the beer, you couldn't tell, but it made this whole situation a lot worse for your lower region.

"Open." Akai tapped the bottom of your chin telling you to open your mouth, and so you did with the most innocent look in your eyes.

"Slowly bring it to your mouth, you want to tease him, lick the tip." You stuck your tongue out making small swirls onto the tip of the fake cock, "Alright, now slowly take it in, don't force anything." You opened your mouth wider to take in the inches of the cock, bringing it to the back of your throat causing you to choke and gag as it hit it. You quickly pulled the fake dick out and began to cough.

"I told you slowly. Let's try again." She squished your face with a hand pulling it up, the other held onto the dildo. "Open." She said again and you did. She guided the dildo into your mouth, slowly moving it in and out, barley reaching the back of your throat. "Breathe through your nose, don't panic." She said as she began to pick up the pace. Rapidly moving the dildo in and out. "Use your tongue at the bottom of it, stick it out." She commanded. Spit began to drip from the side of your mouth onto the floor, you felt as if you were losing yourself. Tears welled in your eyes as you swallowed down the dildo. It wasnt even real, it wasn't even Draken's but for some reason it made your head pound and your pussy twitch with excitement. If this feels as good as it does, you couldn't help but wonder how Draken's would feel, how it would feel against the back of your throat.

Akai picked up on the pace making the dildo hit the back of your throat causing you to convulse onto the dildo, you close an eye and winces as it attacked your throat.

"Try it yourself." She said letting go, letting you have full control. You started slow, pushing the dildo in and out your mouth as she did, trying to follow her lead. You tried to take more of it, you shoved the dildo deep into your throat, forcing all the inches into your mouth, you could feel it bulge through your throat as held it in place forcing you to choke on it. You felt your warm tears drip down your face, you weren't letting up. You wanted to feel it down your throat, the warm, the tightness, you wanted to feel Draken. You finally pulled it out, watching as the inches slipped out of your mouth.

"Guess what bottle really did wonders!" Akai giggled. "Deepthroating huh? You're basically a pro." You looked at her with a stained face, drool down the side of your mouth, and glassy eyes. You finally felt the embarrassment hit you, you covered your face dropping the dildo onto the ground making incoherent noises.

"I think you're ready." She smirked patting your head watching you in distress.

"I am?" You questioned, it was that easy?

"Yep! Actually, take this." She tossed you one last thing before telling you to go wait in his room. As you walked to his room you felt your head ring, the only thing you could hear was the needy throbbing of your inner walls. You couldn't wait for Draken to get back, just what did Akai give you? You had no time to be embarrassed about what you just did in the other room, you just wanted him. All of him.

You found yourself in his barley lit room, sitting on his bed. It was him, his scent, you could feel him around you even if he wasn't physically present. Your inner walls clenched at the thought of your boyfriend. You changed out of your clothes and into what Akai gave you, it was a sleek princess pink teddy with a deep V neck to perfectly show off your breasts. There were straps in the back that cupped your ass making it look juicier than before. There was a deep slit in the middle of the dress, a small move and not only would your stomach be revealed but your pussy would be as well. You made your way over to his bed to wait, you sat down and got engulfed in his smell. It was painful to just wait, the way your panties got wetter by the second, you decided to lay down but it only got worse. Minutes passed by but it felt like hours, you wanted to call him and tell him to hurry but you already showed up unannounced. You didn't want to pester him anymore, so you waited. You don't know when but you found your walls squeezing your fingers tightly as you moved them in and out. Moans and a wet sound filled the room as you toyed with yourself. Your face was in his pillow breathing him in as your other hand was toying with your breasts, pinching, squeezing, and pulling your nipples. It felt good but not good enough, it couldn't bring you to that high that Draken could. You found yourself calling him out, chanting his him like a mantra underneath your moans. You didn't even notice when he came in the room.

"Y/N?" Draken called out as he closed the door. The look on his face was priceless, his gaping mouth and widened eyes as he looked at the sight of you being so desperate for him calling out his name with fingers inside your cunt.

"D-Draken, m'sorry, couldnt wait. Need you." You whined. Pushing your fingers deeper making your back arch. At this point, he was stunned. The shy girl who never seeked anything sexual, the same girl who blushes when they held hands even after being together all the time. That girl was fingering herself on his bed begging for his cock. It was an instant turn on.

"S'all your fault!" You cried out with tears in your eyes, you got up and looked him in the eyes. "All cause you won't let me touch you..." You pouted.

"Ha? What are you talking about?" Draken questioned you. You weren't paying attention to him, you crawled from the bed stepping on the cold floor with your bare feet. You got on your hands and knees in front of Draken, looking at him with the utmost admiration, but behind those eyes was a look of neediness.

"W-What are you doing?" He watched as you played with his belt buckle, you locked eyes with him once more,

"Can't I?" You asked, kissing the bulge through his pants, "Want you, wanna feel you in my throat." You pulled his pants down revealing his boxers, you rubbed your hand feeling the hardness through the fabric, placing small kisses on it while you you waited for a go, a sign, anything.

"Shit Y/n, who knew you could be so slutty hm?" Draken smirked, "Go ahead." You beamed a smile at him as you pulled his boxers down revealing his harden cock. This is the first time you've seen it up close, it's pretty. It almost looks angry with how flushed it is on the top.

You began to kiss his freed cock, starting from the shaft up, remembering what Akai taught you. Tease him. Littering his cock with kisses, you reached the tip, you began to leave small kitten licks, swirling your tongue on around the tip, prodding the tip of your tongue into the small hole on his cock.

"Shit," Draken muttered under his breath, his voice sounds as if it's gotten deeper. You look up at him to see his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes completely focused on you. "Stop with the teasing." He demanded.

"Don't wanna." You continued to look at him, staring into his gorgeous orbs, "s'punishment for not letting me do this early" You smirked against his dick, bringing one of your hands up to slowly move your hand up and down his shaft. You watched as his breath started to break, his tough exterior was crumbling and it was all because of you, but it wasn't enough, you want to keep going. You have a show to put on.

You open your mouth sucking on just the tip of his cock, bobbing your head slowly with swirling his tip in your mouth.

"Y/N, fuck." He places his hand behind your head as his breath began to get more rapid and broken apart. "Come on, take some more." He was practically begging at this point. So slowly but surely, you widened your mouth, stuck your tongue out, and pushed your head further down to his cock. As much as you could take, the remainder you began to jerk with your hand. Bobbing your head on the inches you could take up and down with jerking him off. Listening to his soft grunts and groans. He was big, you knew this but it's different with it's in your throat, you can see it, your mouth felt full and you didn't even completely take it in. You kept going on this pace, proud of yourself for breaking Draken's tough exterior.

"Going to damn slow." He gripped the back of your head forcing his cock down your throat, you gag at this sudden action. He uses your mouth like a rag doll, forcing his cock in and out your mouth and a hellish pace without stopping, bobbing your head up and down. It hurts, taking all of him.

"Wanna be a dirty slut, gonna treat you like one." He said while gripping your hair harder as he pulled you off his cock, "spit on it." He said, and you did, you spat on the shaft of his cock and opened your mouth again for him to assault your throat.

"So eager to take this dick hm? Couldn't even wait for me to get home, had to play with yourself while I was gone? Who knew my pretty girl was such a dirty slut." He chuckled, under his breath as he continues to use you however he pleased. You placed your hands on either side of his thigh to try and control the pace but it was futile, he was much stronger than you, all you could do was hold yourself up and try not to vomit. Drool dripped down the side of your mouth as he thrusted his cock down your throat.

"Taking all this dick, good girl." He praised you as he held your head against his pelvis forcing his dick down your throat, he looked smug as he saw the outline of his cock through the flesh of your throat, you slapped his thigh to try and get him to let go of you, needing air. The feeling of you shaking on his cock trying to push away to get air was a sight to behold for him, he wanted to bury his cock in your throat forever, never taking it out. He watched as tears dripped down your face, your hair was mess, face stained with tears, drool dripping out the corners of your mouth. You gagging on his cock, digging your nails into his thigh.

Draken finally let go, you gasps for air you so desperately needed.

"Open up." He says pushing your head back, "Stick that slutty tongue of yours out. Gonna cum in your mouth."

You put your hands on your knees, sitting up higher to put the tip of his cock in your mouth as he jerked it. His eyes glared at you, you listened to his grunts like a melody. You never seen him like this, during sex he was very calm and collected, gentle. Never used harsh words, this was different though. For some reason, being used like his cocksleeve had you dripping.

"Gonna cum, Y/n, take it all, don't spill a single drop." His warm cum spurted onto your tongue, he wiped his tip clean on your tongue "that's it, good girl, now swallow it." You closed your mouth and with a single gulp you downed his cum without a second thought.

"Tastes weird..." Wiping the drool from your mouth with the back of your hand. Draken lifts you up by your arm and tosses you on the bed.

"Had to go and get me riled up..." He said while taking his shirt off, "gonna fill you up real nice." He pushed his lips against yours hungrily devouring your mouth, tasting a mixture of both liquor and his own cum, his mouth explored your own in a heated make out session, his hand traveled down past your panties and onto your bare cunt, a finger pushed pass your slit making it's way in. You moaned into the kiss, giving Draken more access to your mouth, swirling his tongue with your own.

You pulled away from the kiss to let out a soft moan as his finger toys with you, he puts another one in causing you to arch your back. His other hand rubs soft circles on your clit, he claims your mouth with another hungry kiss as if this will be the last time he felt your lips against his own.

"So needy, barely did anything to you." You moaned against his lips as he brought you to a high.

"D-Draken!" You moaned out.

"Fuck, trying to amputate my fingers? Loosen up. " He grumbles, his lips go down to your neck, sucking and biting against your fleshing leaving bruises everywhere his mouth touches. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling him in closer, as you begin to grind your hips against his fingers as they work their way in and out of you and the others against your clit.

"Gonna cum on my fingers?" He questions in your ear while biting your ear lobe.

"Gonna cum on em!" You reply, moving your hips faster, you begin to convulse as he brings you to your well deserved orgasm.

"You're gonna do that all on my cock." He muttered against your neck as he works his way down to your tits. He puts his fingers in your mouth muffling your moans as he begins to suck on your now perky nipples. He pushes his fingers in and out your mouth forcing you to taste your own juices, the same fingers that were just in you, that brought you to your orgasm.

After assaulting your mouth with his fingers he reaches over to the side his of bed to grab a condom.

"Put it on for me." Still high on your orgasm you slowly reach your hand up to take the condom out of his own, that's when he pushes your head own to his cock. He rips the packaging placing just the tip of his cock into the condom.

"Use that pretty mouth of yours." He smirks as he watches you take all of his dick into your mouth, pushing the condom down in the process. "Make sure to get it all the way on, wouldn't want any cum to spill out hm?" He says as he caresses your head.

"Such a good girl." He praises you as you bring your head up, "Gonna make you feel real good okay?" He kisses your forehead as he leans you down into the mattress. He slaps your pussy a couple of times with his cock, prodding the tip at the entrance, pushing his tip every so softly in and out, barley giving you anything to work with.

"Stop with the teasing Draken." You whined, locking your legs around his waist, trying to push his cock further into you. He clicks his tongue at your actions, pulling himself completely out before lifting one of your legs and putting it on his shoulder.

"I don't remember you being in control here." He guffed out. He rammed his cock into you without warning causing you to gasp, your eyes wide and mouth agape. "That's more like it." He smirks at your appearance.

He begins to thrust in and out of your tight pussy, watching you unravel on his cock. One hand holding your leg on his shoulder and the other turning your head to face him.

"This what you wanted right?" He honeyed out, this voice being quite sweet unlike his thrusts, the way his cock pulled out of you only to slam right back in. Sounds of skin against skin filled the room, along with your sweet mouths chanting his name like once before.

He pried your mouth open with his fingers bringing his face closer only to spit in your mouth, "Good little whore" he mutters against your ear. His thrusts never stopped, not once, he keeps going until he brings you to an orgasm.

He could feel your body going limp, but he wasn't done yet. He flipped lifted your body, he was now on his knees and you on his lap, your hands tangled in his hair while being wrapped around his neck, his mouth devouring your nipple, he slams his cock into you while being in this new position. His hands on either side of your waist slamming your body onto his own matching the rythm of his thrusts. He bites down on your nipple, you pull his hair as payback, you finally meet eyes. His hair all disheveled and out of his normal braid, his eyes slanted, full of hunger, he looked like a animal eyeing his prey, and you looked extremely delicious right now. He captures your lips in a heated kiss as his grip tightens on your waist, you grind against his cock as you moan into the kiss. You suck on his tongue and he does yours, you bite his lower lip slightly tugging on it.

"God Y/n, who knew you were so cock hungry. Wouldn't have been going so easy on you of I knew you could take it." He chuckles as he lays your body back down onto the mattress and begins pounding your body against his locking his lips with yours again.

"You're sucking me in like crazy." His voice is rough and out of breath. Your walls only tightening around him while hearing his voice, his hand goes back down to your clit rubbing it aggressively.

"Fuck, I'm close, fuck fuck fuck." He announces, muttering an array of curse words as he feels himself getting closer to his climax. "Cum with me, cum on my cock one last time." He picks up the pace with his thrust and the attack on your poor nub, you were nothing more than a moaning drooling mess at this point subject to Draken's aggressiveness, your body shakes and your back arches for the last time as you release your juices onto Draken's cock coming to your final high, he thrusts one last time before he releases in the condom.

He pulls out taking off the condom and throwing it in the nearby bin, he watches as you slowly drift to sleep but not before saying, "I love you."

"Mhm, I love you too, my little vixen." He kisses your forehead before he lays next to you and drifts to sleep.

Sorry if this wasn't the best, it was my first time writing for Draken. He's kind of a difficult character, I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless!

#smut #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #draken #draken x reader #draken x y/n

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matthewtkachuk · 4 years

Text

how to be a heartbreaker: introduction - rafe cameron

Rafe Cameron’s privileged upbringing has let him get away with far too much, for far too long. Between his tormenting of the pogues, running his mouth without consequence, and arrogant attitude, it’s time someone knocked him down a peg. Breaking his bones didn’t work, but maybe you can break his heart.

co-authored with my love, freya @rekrappeter

pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader, unrequited!JJ x reader

warnings: angst, starting a relationship under false pretences, drinking and drug use

word count: 1.4k

a/n: here’s the intro!!!! ah we’re so unbelievably excited to share this with you guys, please please let us know what you think!

series masterlist

Your eyes tore away from the magazine you were lazily flipping through as the three boys you've grown up with stumbled through the door of the château. The argument that you've practiced for the last twenty minutes about them always being late and ditching you completely vanished from your mouth as you saw the two dark haired boys hoisting the blonde one through the house.

"What the fuck happened?" you asked, eyes wide as you jumped from the couch to help them.

JJ Maybank, your best friend, had blood seeping down his forehead and two evident black eyes forming. His nose was bloody, and the closer you got to him, you could bet easy money that it was broken. He spat blood on the floor, groaning as his two best friends, John B and Pope, dropped him on the couch. "Bastards," the blonde hissed, holding the area where his ribs were.

You stood in the middle of the living room, your hands on your hips as you waited for one of the boys to say something. You noticed the small gash above Pope's eyebrow, glancing at his knuckles to see them bloody and bruised. John B's fists were similar, his scars more evident, his shirt was ripped open, buttons missing as if it was thorn off him.

"Can someone please tell me what the hell happened," you raised your voice slightly after a hot second of deafening silence around the château.

JJ coughed, blood bubbling from his lips, "what the fuck do you think happened?"

You sighed in annoyance, walking over to your best friend and sitting next to him. You reached under the couch for the first aid kit that was strategically placed, opening it up and getting the familiar disinfecting wipes and dressings to clean the boys up. The blonde looked at you, eyes following your every move. It was something he was used to seeing, you looking after him and he realised he never voiced how grateful he was for it.

"Sit," you snapped at the other two boys standing there dumbfounded, handing two wipes to them to clean themselves up. "This is the third time this week, what the hell is going on?"

"Y/n, you should have heard what they were saying," Pope mumbled, wincing slightly when he rubbed his eyebrow. You rolled your eyes at the thought of what Rafe Cameron and his goons could say to make these boys heat up this bad.

"I hope they look as bad as you do," you directed the comment to JJ, watching him close his eyes as you cleaned the blood from his face. His breathing settled, the pain easing at your touch. "What did they say?" you asked.

Again, you were met with silence.

"It couldnt have been that bad," you muttered, feeling the tension rise around the house. JJ peeked his eyes open, looking at Pope and John B who shrugged their shoulders.

"They were just talking shit about you," JJ muttered, "Trying to get a rise from me."

You raised an eyebrow in his direction, eyes quickly scanning the cuts and bruises on his face and you couldn’t help but chuckle, "Looks like they got exactly what they wanted. JJ, I don’t give a fuck what they say about me, just stop getting into fights over it."

JJ sighed in annoyance, sitting up on his elbows bringing his body closer to yours. The blood drained from your face quickly, your heart hammering against your chest due to the close proximity. Pope swallowed nervously for you, watching your eyes dance around his friend's face. He looked over at John B, who looked between the pair awkwardly before Pope took his attention away from you.

"They can't talk shit about you and get away with it," JJ hissed.

"They've been doing it for years," you mumbled, feeling yourself getting shy. He was the only boy you ever got shy around, despite being your best friend. It all happened three years ago, when he kissed you as a way to get rid of an annoying ex-girlfriend and you realised you had stupidly fell for your gorgeous, dumb best friend. You never told him and you never acted on it, he thanked you for the kiss and skipped off to another touron that same night while you were left gobsmacked.

"Thats the thing! They can't keep doing it, someone has to knock them a few feet down!" JJ said, feeling his blood boil at the memory of the horrific words Rafe said about you.

You hushed him, placing a plaster over his forehead before grabbing the bloody wipes to toss them away. JJ moved to sit comfortably on the couch, watching you walk to the bin. "He keeps talking shit about how he'd fuck you and how he'd have you at the palm of his hand if he tried."

You grimaced at the words, looking at Pope who nodded shamefully. "Honestly y/n, we have to do something about it."

"Like what?" You huffed, throwing your hands down in frustration. "You tried beating them up, and look at you! All of you!"

"W-we thought of something else.." JJ mumbled, nervously chewing on his bottom lip.

Pope groaned, dropping his body on the couch beside JJ, "No, let me rephrase that. JJ and John B had an idea. I want nothing to do with this."

"What is it?" you asked.

John B glanced at JJ before a smirk tugged on his lips, "Rafe talks so much about having you and shit like that, we were thinking, well we can't break his bones... we're tried that... so-"

"So why not break his heart?" JJ piped up, interrupting the brunet.

"Are you sure Rafe Cameron has a heart?" You chuckled, not piecing together what they were indicating at.

"Not a very nice one but what he does have, we think you could break it," John B said. Your eyes widened at his words, suddenly entering into a coughing fit. You bent over, grabbing your stomach.

"Y-you want me-me to do what?" You coughed.

JJ jumped from the couch, despite the pain shooting through his ribs, and he knelt in front of you, grabbing your face in his hands. "Look, it's perfect. You make him fall in love with you and then you break his heart, simple."

Pope rolled his eyes from the other side of the room, "its not that simple."

"Why not, Pope?" John B asked.

Pope looked at you briefly before sighing, "this isn't some teen romance movie, life comes with complications and the big one here is that rafe is an asshole and wont fall in love with y/n."

"Who wouldn't fall in love with y/n? She's perfect," JJ exclaimed, standing up beside you. Your heart fluttered at his words, looking at him hopeful before your eyes found Pope's, who gave you that look you were all too familiar with. The look that read ‘dont think too much into it’. Pope was the only one who knew how you felt about JJ, he caught onto your longing looks and girly giggles; something he never would have connected with you previously.

"You have to do it, y/n, they almost killed JJ tonight.." John B pouted, running his hands through his tousled hair.

"Guys, I-i don't know.."

"We'll be there with you for it all, helping you, guiding you," JJ pouted, "Please, do it for me."

You crossed your arms in front of your chest, thinking of the possibilities. Pretending to like Rafe Cameron, making him fall in love with you, and ultimately breaking his heart. It would be tough, it would be painful, but it could be a way to bring you and JJ closer. "What's in it for me?"

"We'll get rid of the no pogue on pogue making rule," John B smirked, eying at Pope before looking at you and JJ. Your mouth agape, you glanced at Pope who shrugged his shoulders confused. "Come on, I know you have a thing for that Leo guy."

You let out a breath you didn't realise you were holding, relaxing your shoulders before looking around at the boys. JJ's blue eyes were hopeful, urging you to accept the challenge. John B looked as if you already agreed, sitting confidently on the chair. Pope's look was more reluctant and apprehensive, chewing on his inner cheek.

"Fine, I'll do it."

JJ hollered loudly, "Let's make you a heartbreaker."

htbah taglist (link to google form is in the series masterlist!): @solllaris @drewswannabegirl @starrystarkey93 @httpstarkey @sweetlysilent @drewstarkey @dontjinx-it @ultranikilove @spencereidbasis @meaganjm @starlightstarkey @thortheestallion @jiaraendgame @idocarealot @tempestuousjj @pink-meringues @dpaccione @arianabrashierstuff

rodeo rafe babies who said they were interested: @scandalousfemale @outerbankslut @honeyycheek @jellyfishbeansontoast @ilovejjmaybank @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @girlsru1eboysdroo1

diverdcwn everything taglist: @velyssaraptor @danicarosaline @copper-boom @x-lulu @prejudic3 @downbytheouterbanks @bricksatanakinswindow @sunwardsss @rudyypankow @im-a-stranger-thing @alexa-playafricabytoto @combativehood @sortagaysortahigh @socialwriter @bluesiderudy

#rafe obx #rafe x you #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #rafe imagine #rafe fanfiction #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron series #rafe cameron #rafe cameron angst #diverdcwn writes #freyby writes

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miramimar · 2 years

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would you mind elaborate on mcu mj?

it all boils down to the mcu hating women and not understanding anything about spider-man

like. okay. i dont necessarily hate mcu mj, i just idk? there’s so much potential there and it’s not being used and it just pisses me off. and actually this is not really a problem ONLY seen in the mcu, it was actually seen first in the raimi trilogy but at least raimi's MJ tried.

there’s this notion nowadays that in order for a female character to be well-written and well developed, she needs to this nerdy and introverted girl and well…Mary Jane is not that lol she's an extrovert, she likes to party, she's flirty and she has an amazing charisma. I’m not saying that mcu MJ doesn’t have anything in common with the MJ we see in the comics, she does! but all of the things that MJ did in the comics that were considered “feminine” or “girly” or whatever else, were stripped from her because they weren’t “feminist enough”. There’s this interview Jon Watts did where he says that the only characteristic female characters in comics used to have was the colour of their hair which is just…not true lol? like i dont know about you, but i was able to know the difference between MJ, Gwen and Felicia without a problem, all of them have different personalities, different goals AND all of them have a different relationship with Peter and Spider-man. The only people who aren’t able to tell them apart are people who lack reading comprehension lmao

and then people call MCU MJ an upgrade from Raimi's MJ which I’m not really going to debate because both of them are…well, bad. BUT Raimi's MJ at least had a life without Peter lol, like she actually had goals and yeah…mcu MJ…does she have goals? i dont know! they dont show it to me! she wanted to get into MIT (which she does, good for her!) and uhhh…i think she was in some club or something? she’s a good student, yup! like. there’s a lot of ways to develop her character and they just don’t do it? im really hoping they do it in the college trilogy, there’s time to fix this!

like…honestly MJ is one of my favorite characters of all time, and i really hate the way she’s been portrayed in media for a long time. She was a very well developed character in the comics, yes! even though she was a party girl or whatever, she has always been a complex character and even her goal of being an actress has complexity. I really don’t understand why did they completely changed MJ’s original personality to make her seem more “developed" when she already was! like!

and i’m not saying mcu mj is a bad character, but she just…isnt mary jane (and it also pisses me off they didnt name her mary jane, theyre all a bunch of pussies!)

and also, this is mostly me being obsessed with fashion, but one thing I don’t get is why??? do they dress mcu mj…like that? like…why? you have Zendaya playing her, you have ZENDAYA playing one of the most iconic characters in comics, and you have her dressing like THAT? and what’s funny is that Zendaya’s style is not that different from MJ (at least from what I’ve seen) so I just don’t get it??? of course, im not saying that every female character should have nice outfits but MJ does lmao? like the material is there! read the comics?????

anyways, this is just me being angry that mcu MJ is not as funny and charismatic as 616 MJ (but she could be, if the mcu just tried harder)

anyways sorry for the rant

#asks

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killanyone4you · 3 years

Text

my uncle kevin died. and im sad. it's been a week or so and im still not really processing things. i know im sad. im just not... expressing anything? i keep almost crying and then i stop.

kev was too kind for this shitty world. his heart was soft and good and sometimes it felt like his life was a constant struggle. but if you asked him he'd never tell it like that. he was always the happiest person in the room. or at least that's how he'd make you feel.

he helped raise me. he made me feel like i had value in a family that very much treated children like they were only in the way.

kevin would do anything to help anyone. he'd stop anything he was doing to help a stranger. if someone stole something from him he'd say they must have needed it more than him. he taught me to never judge anyone. he taught me kindness.

he was the reason i knew what heroin was by 6-7 years old. he brought me along to drug deals. often times while on drugs himself. i was around prostitution. i was in possession of drugs on multiple occasions without realizing it. i watched a lot of people shoot up. i watched a lot of people overdose. i watched my uncle get arrested more than a dozen times. always scared for him. never understanding how someone who took care of me could have been doing something wrong. i realize how fucked up that stuff is now but he never made me feel unsafe. infact he often took me away when my actual home wasn't safe.

he was clean for the last 15 years but he struggled. it was difficult for him to maintain jobs and living situations because of serious health issues and other things he struggled with. it was hard to watch.

to this day i still wish i had asked him more about his struggles. my family does not talk about their problems. we dont talk about anything personal. we dont talk about feelings. we eat up anything that makes us sad and pretend it's not real.

4 years ago kevin announced to a few of us that he feels more like a women. he feels more comfortable dressed as a woman and would like to present as a women.

i tried so so SO hard to make my family understand what it meant to be transgender or to question your gender identity. i tried encourage them to show him support and compassion but they wouldn't talk about it. they referred to it as "kevin's girly thing" and refused to try to understand.

when i reached out to him to ask about pronouns and names and just to overall offer my support. he expressed to me that under no circumstances did he want to be referred to as a women or with she/her pronouns. ever. i tried to bring it up again at a later date but he shut it down immediately.

i'll never know his truth because he was too afraid to tell it. now that he's gone i wonder constantly about what he must have felt. was he in agony his whole life, living in a body he wasn't comfortable with? i'll never know and it's been eating me up.

after he passed, his partner approached me with photos of kevin dressed as a woman, wearing a wig and everything. he never allowed anyone in our family to see him that way and she expressed that he never wanted any of us to see those photos but she showed them to me and told me that when he was at home, he was always dressed this way and his chosen name was Renee. which is my middle name. and i just really fucking hope he knew i would have supported him no matter what. i decided not to ask anymore questions because now it feels like i know about a secret he didn't want me to know and it makes me feel guilty.

i dont believe in heaven but i know he did so i really hope he's in heaven

#this was for me not for you #if you read that whole thing please hug the people you love #please be kind to people #im sad #me

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ashfantasyworld · 3 years

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Ashton

It was the start of me falling for everyone, it was like any other day. I had turned 20 years of age, and had become what we consider in the middle of teens. My tail never does as I want it to, when I try to hide things or feelings. It always blows my cover, and in training I have started to flirt with this good looking human. I seriously melt when I see him, but how the hell do I tell another guy I like him. What if he dont like me? I know I'm ranting now but it's important I promise. I failed him and I failed my Mom, I failed everyone. As I'm writing this letter I am sitting in a cell waiting for the cultists to end me for being unholy. They call me, well I hope someone reads this as i think i will die today. And yes I'm crying. I can't help it. I'm still a kid, well let me tell you my story then. So if you read it you wont be as stupid as i was.

The start of the story is on my 18th birthday, my mom who cares for me alone had made me a cake. And I was eating it with her, as she told me of my dad, and how the humans had come. And I was a mix of Human and Tabaxi and so on, she misses my dad a lot after he died. So she talks about him on a regular basis, but it's okay if she is happy doing so I don't mind listening to it. And well I had plans today to meet up with a guy that looks amazing, and well we have exchanged looks sometimes and he is going to meet me tonight. But I need to train first. I aint so big on using close combat weapons. I rather like to use bows and crossbows but if i can i like to talk my way out of things. So I use most of my day for training, as a tabaxi I have to be combat ready when I'm around 18 to 20 so yeah. When I'm done with my work out I walk to take a shower and damn that's a long process. Have you tried to get fur dry?It's a nightmare. So when I'm done with my 3 hour long chore of showering for 30 min and using 2h 30 min to not smell like a wet dog. Ewww dogs….. It's time to meet up with Thor, it's night now and I have become smaller than what I was. It happens every night. I think it's due to my father and since he was not a cat, I am probably cursed. Thor doesn't mind, he finds it kinda cute, we are going to meet up by the hill so we can watch the stars together. I walk up there with ease as well. I'm a cat and move easily, not like dogs who walk all over the place sniffing pee. So I sit and wait for him, he is so slow I mean I can wait. I remember seeing him walking in, he looked so good. He has a nice beard and looks like something from a story book from the people up north, he sits down beside me. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest, and he asks me “what I think is up there”. I think a lot and look up, before I'm reminded of all the stories from my mom about dad. “I think my dad is up there watching over me, keeping me safe”. I can feel his hand touching mine, I tell him “that's okay, i feel the same for him”. He pushes me to the ground so I'm on my back, and kisses me. He sits back up and looks at me, I smile and move and kiss him back. It feels wonderful. I feel warm all over and I'm so happy. We smile and part ways after a while, I am so happy I am falling so hard for him. Everything was so good before I failed him.

Some days pass and well we meet up, hidden from everyone else. He decides that we should keep it hidden from everyone, and that's fine for me. He has become more bossy with me, and makes my decisions for me. But that's okay. I am kinda girly anyways, and I like to have someone in control of me. And well im 4*10 120 lbs so I'm small, and I dress kinda cute. So I am not someone who is in charge, It makes me smile just to think of Thor, my big viking.

But one day I decided I don't know why but that i wanted to be in a dress for him you know female dress. They look so nice, and damn cute and I have the body to be in one. So stupid as i was i got one to be cute to him, my Mom told me i was always special and thats what she loved about me. And helped me get the dress on, we had to cut a hole for the tail tho. As that damn tail always got in the way, but we did and it looked kinda good. So I went to where I knew Thor usually did hang out. I went there and it did not go so well, as his friends were there and when they saw me. They called me alot, “Abomination, Little girl, Loser, ugly”. You know all the bad words, and Thor even made fun of me, and when I tried to run they caught me. And started to beat me up, I don't remember too much as it got black quickly. What I do remember though is Thor hitting me in my face with his friends. I did wake up later. My dress was bloody and ripped apart, I started to cry and ran to the spot where me and Thor first met. And sitting down made me even more sad, as I remembered him. I cried for a long time, before Thor walked up to me and sat down beside me. He told me it was my fault, and I said sorry so many times. He agreed to be with me if I did not behave like that ever again and made it up to him. It made me so happy I kissed his cheek and asked what he wanted, he said I had to get something for him from the smithy. When I asked what he smiled and said a special sword from the smithy, I agreed I just had to get that and he would be mine. I did not have any money though as i know he just wanted a gift, like i am supposed to give him. So i had to steal it, i said i would be back here in 3 hours to him with the sword. It was still night so I could get it, he smiled as I ran off, I know I can do it for him. I'm so lucky to get another chance after embracing him like that. When I'm at the smithy I manage to sneak my way over the fence, but then I see it. The terror itself, the thing that could be compared with the devil himself. Ewwww a small dog, it even looks like a rat. I was close to throwing up in my mouth, and now I have to touch it. I am sure I was close to dying right there and then. But for Thor I would, so I grabbed the dog. Made my skin crawl, as I held over its tiny mouth it started to lick me. I know how disgusting, that tongue has probs been licking buts and poop and pee and ewwwwwwww. But I did it, I moved the dog carefully to another place as it kept licking me all the way. Gives me even the shivers now as I write this while crying, but I move it far enough away. So I could sneak back in, and well when people are stupid enough to let a window be open, I mean it's like an open invitation. I stop and look at the Female sleeping, she is so cute she is older than me tho, must be like 25 to 30 in human years. But I have a mission, so I go and look at the swords. I'm not sure which he wants so I take the most fancy look, and move to the window. But stop looking at the girl. I feel bad for her. I will make it up to her, but I have to leave. So I leave and run back to Thor he smiles, as I give it to him, I feel so happy for giving it to him now he wants me back. He looks at me and hits me in the face with the back end of it, and pushes me to the ground and keeps beating me. Screaming at me how stupid i am for taking the wrong sword, I try to say sorry and that i love him in between the hits. But he dont stop, he keeps on beating me for a while. I deserve it though. I failed him, how could i be so stupid.

After a while he stopped and looked at me with piercing eyes, “you failed me” the words kept ringing in my ears. As he walked off with the sword I had stolen from him, I walked home. My mom saw me beaten and bloody. She looks at me and shakes her head, “i am sorry” she smiles and follows me into the bathroom and finds some bandages and ointments to help with my wounds. She spends most of the evening cleaning me up, and treating me, I don't say much at all that night. My head is spinning around, everything that has happened. I slept for almost 2 days. Before someone comes knocking on the door at my house, my mom opens and asks me to come into the living room. I just put the comforter over my head, I do not want to do anything right now. After a good 10 minutes the lady comes into the room, the smith stares at me as I swallow hard. She closes the door behind me and we have a conversation, she told me that stealing is not okay. And doing so could get me killed. She offers me a job to work off what I owe, she says she had one give her a chance once and this was her doing the same. But if I was late or did not show, she would go to the guards. I started working with her smithy. Her name is Cynthia, she was not too pleased with me at the start, but after 6 months of me working there every day. She starts to take a liking to me, and teaches me about hard work. I have not heard from Thor in half a year, and I'm finally starting to get over him. Everyday I meet up, I do most of the labour around the smith like cleaning up and keeping it tidy. As I see her sell things to people and make deals, I smirk and one day I say to her. “Bet i could make more money off it” she smirks and tells me the bet is on i have 1 month to beat her. Every day I do everything I can to sell, I start playing music outside and to lure people in I let them haggle but manage to turn them around. After the month is over I have made 1276 gold 436 more than she made, I smirk and she smiles and tells me I have worked off all my debt. But I don't want to stop working. I ask her if I can continue, and she accepts with a smile. Another year passes. I'm 19 soon, 20 now and I am happy. My life's going great, I have worked with Cynthia and have been helping me alot with my bow skills and I continue to play music. She even managed to get me into playing in an inn every night, and I love it and the people love it. One day a guard walks into the smith, I freeze up as I see him. It's Thor. He is looking at swords. I gulp as he turns around and sees me too, “well well well”. He puts a sword on the table, “so you work here now” I look at him and swallow hard and nod. “That will be 50 gold coins”, he smiles and reminds me of what i did and threatens me. Before he takes it and leaves, which means I have to pay for it. I put 50 gold coins into the chest. Cynthia has seen it all, and we have a talk. I tell her the whole story, she hugs me. And tells me that we will just forget about it, and that it's not worth picking a fight with the guards over it. Another 6 months pass, as I work and people start to know me, and come alot into the smith it has become a place to hang out for some people. Where they can chat and buy stuff. I have turned 20 now, it's a big day and as I get to work. The guard jumps me and chains me down, Thor is standing there and reading up my accusations of being a thief, breaking the rules of the church and deserves to hang. Cynthia looks at me, and tries to talk her way out of it for me, but Thor is not budging. And they take me to the church, after a while the priest comes. They decide to take me to the caves where they can properly please the gods, they move me at night. And get me into this cell, they are not holy they are a cult. Planning to sacrifice me to their gods, they told me that my mom has been tossed out on the streets and Cynthia is facing charges. So that brings me to the end of my letter, of how I failed everyone. Just never do as I did, because of me people are hurt. I am sorry for getting the wrong sword, I am sorry mom for being a useless son and I'm sorry Cynthia you should never have given me a chance. I am ready now, to pay for my sins. This will be updated as the campaing goes on <3

#dnd #dnd oc #original story #storytelling #dnd campaign #fantasy #tabaxi #furry story #lgbtq

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backtobackbakubabe · 4 years

Text

Baby its Cold Outside (PART 6)

Bakugo x Reader

Fluff. Smut.

Just taking it one day at a time.

PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE

Words: 2821

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Bakugo had been woken up by a nurse the next morning. She pulled him into the hallway where a doctor was waiting with a clipboard. Looking every bit the stereotype from the dumb tv shows y/n always watches.

The doctor smiled and held out his hand, “Ah Mr. Bakugo I presume?”

Bakugo just stared back, not bothering to shake the mans hand, “Yes, can I help you with something?”

The smile never left the doctors face as he pulled his hand back, “Yes, so I understand Y/n lives with you. Is that correct?”

Bakugo smirked, “As of a few days ago, yes, she officially live with me.”

“Oh perfect! So we are expecting her to wake up any time now and I just wanted to go over everything you might expect in terms of taking care of her while she heals. As you know she suffered a major concussion as well as multiple gunshot wounds to the stomach.”

Bakugo flinched at the memory but nodded anyways as the doctor continued his speech. “When she wakes up she’ll likely be confused and a little frustrated. Because she’s been in a bed for several weeks it may take a while for her to regain normal range of motion but that’s nothing to be concerned about. We recommend having her go to physical therapy, as well as possibly seeing a mental health professional if she needs help coping with the trauma. As the person who will be living with her just make sure she takes her medication and for the first couple of days she may need your help with daily tasks such as showering, getting dressed, picking up anything over fifteen pounds, and so on. Are you prepared to take on these tasks?”

Bakugo was almost offended, “Of course! You think I can’t take care of my own girlfriend? I basically take care of her already!”

The doctor just nodded, “Very well then. Here are some pamphlets on everything I just spoke to you about. I find they can be very helpful and informative. I understand you are a very capable man Mr. Bakugo and I think Y/n will be in great hands. We will more than likely be able to discharge her within 24 hours of her waking up and in the event that you are not here, we will make sure to give you a call to let you know when she has woken up.”

Bakugo’s heart raced at the idea that you would be waking up soon. He had said any time now. He would have sat his ass down in that chair and not left until you woke up, but he knew he has a few things to finish up at the apartment. He also knew he was in desperate need of a shower.

He had officially gotten all of your stuff moved into his place he just needed to go meet with the landlord and turn in your keys. Not that it mattered you never used them anyways seeing as you would just teleport through the door.

Bakugo was skimming through one of the many pamphlets the doctor had given him the day before, sitting in your old apparent when the landlord showed to collect the keys. He gave Bakugo a smile but his eyes looked sad. He liked y/n and was sad to hear of her accident. “Well son, I’m sure the place is in pristine condition. I’ve seen you comin and goin for weeks now to clean it up so here's a check for the security deposit and I’ve waved the cleaning fee.”

Bakugo thanked him as he pocketed the check. He was about to insist that he charge him for the cleaning fee because you were a messy gremlin and he was sure the place could use it but he was interrupted by a weird noise. It was a loud thump from his apartment. “What the fuck...”

He sprinted out of the apartment, bypassed the elevator, opting for the stairs instead. He was practically out of breath by the time he reached his door. Wow he really needs to hit the gym soon. He tried the handle but it was locked... which would mean the person in his apartment didn't use a door...

His hands shook as he ripped his keys out of his pocket and swung the door open. “Y/N!” He ran around the corner to his bed and there you were. Sitting on the floor with your head in your hands.

“Katsu...?”

He was at your side in an instant pulling you to him. “Oh my god. Shit you’re awake. You’re okay. Fuck I’ve been so fucking worried, you have no idea. I love you. I love you so fucking much, and I need you to know that.” He kept kissing the top of your head while he rubbed his hand up and down your back. That’s when he noticed the hospital gown. “Y/n... how did you get here?”

You looked at him with very sleepy and confused eyes, “I don't know. I woke up in the hospital and I was really scared. I couldn't figure out what happened or where I was and I just wanted you... and I guess I accidentally teleported here.”

He took your head in his hands and looked at you like you were crazy, “Y/n we live across town from the hospital... you’re telling me you just teleported 15 miles...”

Your eyes widened, looking just as bewildered as he did, “Yeah I guess I did.”

Next thing you know he’s hugging you so tight, “You know what? I don't even care right now. We’ll figure that out later, right now I just want to hold you. I’ve missed you so much. Dont you ever do something like that again, do you understand me. Ever.”

His phone started to ring but he let it go to voicemail. Whatever it was could wait. He hadn’t held you like this in weeks. He gently scooped you up and brought you to the bed that now had a few of your girly pillows. “Katsu? Are these my pillows? Is that my lamp? Wait what is my stuff doing in your apartment? Did you loot me while I was out?”

He chuckled as his face turned red, “Yeah about that.. I uh.. I kind of moved all of your stuff up here and terminated your lease downstairs.... surprise?”

You knew you should be irritated, but honestly you were just too exhausted to care. You barley spent time in your apartment anyways. So you just shrugged, “Oh okay I guess. I mean if you’re sure...”

He pulled you close to him, “Oh I’m sure. I need you here where I know you’re safe.”

You winced as you giggled still a little sore, “I literally lived in the apartment right below you. It wasn’t exactly a long distance relationship.”

Bakugo ignored your quip instead focusing on your face as it pinched a bit with the pain from laughing. “Are you okay? Do I need to bring you back to the hospital. Shit I probably do. You just up and left...”

You reached up and squished his cheeks together to get him to stop talking, “One thing at a time babe. Yes I am okay. I am really tired, and truthfully I’m very sore. But it’s not anything I can’t deal with. I would kill for some water though...”

He was up and in the kitchen before you could even finish your sentence. You wondered how long this over protective phase would last. Bakugo was never the kind of boyfriend who waited on you hand and foot. Before the accident he would have told you to get off your ass and get it yourself.

He came back with a huge camelback water bottle with a straw. You expected him to hand it to you but instead he crawled into bed next to you and held the straw up to your mouth. “Uh.. Honey. Not that I don’t love the fact you want to take care of me, but I can hold it myself.”

He blushed slightly muttering a sorry as he handed you the water bottle.

So you sat like that, his hands never leaving you while he caught you up on what had happened since you were out. Avoiding the topic of the accident because neither of you were ready to rip off that bandaid yet.

Your conversation was cut short by a banging on the door. Bakugo groaned and went to go answer it. Periodically turning around to look at you. Almost like he was checking you were still there. He flung the door open, “WHAT?!”

There was a very nervous Kirishima rubbing the back of his neck raw, “Okay listen man I have some bad news, but I’m going to need you to stay calm because we’re going to fix it I promise... but... uh... Y/nIsMissingAndWeDontKnowWhereSheWent....” He flinched like he was ready for Bakugo to blow up. But instead Bakugo just laughed. “Oh shit he's really lost it.”

“Oi shitty hair, you can relax, she's okay she’s here. She teleported. We’ll head back soon so they can officially discharge her and give us her medication.”

Kirishima looked like he was going to faint with relief, “Oh thank god. They only sent me because I’m indestructible. They really thought you were going to rampage. You should have seen it. First she’s mumbling in her sleep right? Next thing we all know her eyes shot open and she was asking where you were. When no one could answer her she just teleported out. They were all panicking and running around looking for her. I’ll let them know she’s safe.”

You had snuck your way over to them with very wobbly legs, “Thank’s for checking on me Kiri!”

“Oi what the fuck do you think you’re doing?! Get your ass back in bed!”

You glared at your over protective boyfriend, “I've been in bed for... for...”

“Three weeks” Kiri filled in you.

“Thank you Kiri... Three weeks! I don't think it’ll kill me to stretch my legs!”

Kirishima bit his lip to keep from laughing, “Good to see you still got your spunk. Well I’ll leave you two love birds alone. Try not to kill each other.”

He realized that was not a good joke to make when Bakugo’s eyes bore into him, “Too soon.”

*************************

It had been two weeks since you woke up. The first week Katsuki refused to leave your side for more than 30 seconds. Everywhere you went he was right there behind you like a clingy shadow. He even took showers with you insisting it was “doctors orders”. It got real old real fast. You practically shoved him out the door the other day joking about how one of you needed to work or you wouldn't make rent and you just moved in. You still had nightmares, and any loud noise made you jump. Bakugo was trying really hard to not yell at you or be any added stress while you adjusted but you honestly hated the way he treated you like glass. Never in his life has he ever seen you as anything but strong and now he tip toes around you. That ends today.

You dressed up in your sexiest underwear and robe and waited for him on his....your bed. You kept forgetting you actually lived here now.

You heard his keys in the door and your heart started to race. “Hey baby I’m home! I was thinking about maybe making some stir fry for dinner. What do you think?” You took a deep breath and reminded yourself this was Bakugo... there was no reason to be nervous.

You stepped into the kitchen and tiptoed up to him. He had his nose buried in a grocery bag pulling out ingredients. You took the bag from his hand and put it on the counter. He froze when he saw what you were wearing.

“I think I’m hungry. But not for food.” You grabbed him by the belt loops and pulled him to you.

He smiled but his eyes gave him away. He looked nervous.

He cupped your cheeks and gave your forehead a kiss. “You look amazing babe. But you need to take your pills soon and you can't do that on an empty stomach.” He pulled away from you and went back to sorting the groceries on the counter in front of him.

You huffed and smacked him the back of the head.

“Oi! What was that for?” “You know what for! Other than our morning showers you won't touch me! And even then it’s not even sexual....” You don't know why but your were suddenly hit with a wave of insecurity. “Do you not find me attractive anymore...?”

He was at your side in an instant. He put one hand in your hair while the other one gripped your chin rubbing soothing circles on your cheek. “Are you crazy? of course I find you attractive! You are the single most beautiful women I’ve ever seen.”

Tears threatened to spill out, “Then why won't you touch me?”

He sighed as he thought carefully about what he said next. “I guess I’m just scared of hurting you. I’m the reason you were hurt in the first place and the thought of causing you any more pain... it... it drives me crazy. You just woke up from a medically induced coma only two weeks ago! I didn't want to do anything until you were ready!”

You looked up at him with needy eyes, “Well I’m ready now...”

And that's all it took.

Bakugo’s lips crashed to yours as his hands gripped your ass. You knew you were needy but you had no idea you were this touch starved until the feeling of his hands on you practically made you melt.

He pulled back just long enough to tell you to jump. You eagerly compiled as you wrapped you legs around his waist. He walked you over to the couch and laid you down.

Your robe was long forgotten on the floor and his shirt and your bra was quickly joining it. Katsuki worshipped your body. He always had. He showered you with kisses starting at your neck and trailing downwards. He took his time with each of your breasts. Taking one nipple in his mouth while he rubbed the other between his fingers. He had you soaked and squirming with seconds. Your hips bucked up and he grunted as you made contact with his growing erection.

He continues his path down briefly pausing to give every single one of your scars the softest kiss imaginable. You could see the pain fast through his eyes briefly. You wound your hands through his hair, “I’m okay baby. I’m here and I’m okay and I need you. Please.”

He tugged your underwear off along with pants. He put his arms on either side of your face holding all of his weight off of you. lined himself up with your entrance and in one sweet snap of his hips you were seeing stars. His mouth covered yours as he swallowed your moans. He let you adjust before he set a slow, deep, rhythm.

You’ve been dating for three months now, and you don't think you had ever had sex that want heated and rough. He was taking his time, showing you with every thrust how much he loved you. Even the moans you let out were soft. This wasn't fucking, this was making love. And the thought made your head spin.

He leaned down and nibbled on your ear before whispering, “You’re so fucking beautiful. I want you to know that. You’re it for me. Do you understand me?”

You pulled his head back to face you, “I understand. You’re it for me too. I couldn't do this with anyone else.”

He smirked, “Damn right you couldn't.”

Yours hands made their way to his strong muscular back, “Now fuck me like you mean it Katsuki. I won't break I promise.”

His dick twitched at your words before he picked up the pace.

You both got lost in the sensations you both had been craving. He pounded into you relentlessly. Hitting the spot the way it seemed only he could. It wasn't long before you felt yourself unraveling.

“Yeah thats it baby! Cum for me! Let go!”

You were overtaken by the most intense, toe curling orgasm.

You could feel Bakugo start to pull out but through your pants you yelled, “No cum inside me!”

His hips stuttered a but before he finally released inside of you.

He rolled to the side and pulled you on top of him so you could both fit on the couch.

After he caught his breath he looked over to you and kissed your forehead, “That was probably the hottest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

#bakugo x reader #bakugo x y/n #bakugo #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugō #bnha bakugo katsuki #katsuki imagine #bakugo katsuki imagine #bakugo imagine #bhna #bhna bakugou #bhna imagine #bhna x reader #mha bakugou #mha #mha imagines #mha x reader #my hero academia

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genderfluid-promotion · 3 years

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Hi! I have just learned about the term genderfluid, and I dont really know if thats the explaination for some things I feel - I don‘t know if thats what I am, or if the things I experience really fit this term. I am a female, but as a kid I always had short hair and I only wanted to wear boy clothes. I once put a dress on at like 7 because I wanted to, but it felt like I was trying to pretend to be a girl - even though I was one? I also pretty much only had boy friends, and loved soccer and playing in the dirt. I also liked horses, but not nearly as much as the other girls - when school started most of them had backpacks with ponys on them, mine had fish. xD I started wondering if maybe I was a boy during the ages 6 - 10, because I was asked constantly if I was a boy or a girl. I always said I was a girl, but kids can be mean - the next question would be pull your pants down and prove it, you dont look like it.

I knew that at 12 years old I would have to go to a new school, and the school was pretty known for bullying. Out of fear to be a target I let my hair grow out from age 10 on, and when I started at the new school it was long. I still dressed kinda boyish, wore a lot of plaid shirts, but I also wore pink things sometimes. I actually forgot that I didn‘t grow my hair out willingly, I talked to my mom about it a few months ago, saying that I couldnt remember what changed that I wanted long hair - and she said I didnt actually want to, but that I was scared of the bullying. Ever since that young age of 6 I went through phases questioning if I was a boy, because being a girl just didnt always seem to be right! However I‘m not sure if it didnt feel right just because hobbies and clothes are so strongly gendered, and I just wanted to have short hair, boy clothed and my soccer ball - in peace, without the questions. So being a boy would have been easier in that aspect, because no one would have questioned anything about me in that case. But because I also wasn‘t so sure that I would want to go trough actual transitioning to a boy, I realized that I probably wasn‘t transgender. There were times where I compeletely forgot about this worry of mine, and then suddenly I would look into the mirror, or see or hear something, and a weird feeling would start to creep up again - am I maybe a boy? Now I‘m 20, and I have been pushing these thoughts away for a while. I came to the decision that I dont really care, Im not that bothered by my female body that I feel the need to change everytime I see myself, and I dont feel horrible if someone calls me a she/woman/girl - its just, some days I wish I didnt have breasts because they annoy me, and I would like to be flat so that some of the men shirts I own would look better. However I never feel the need to have a penis, because thats as much as a statement as breasts, I’m fine with my vagina because it isnz showing in any way through clothes. Other days I like showing cleavage, some days getting called a she just leaves a bit of a weird feeling in my stomach. Sometimes I like make up, (Eyeliner most of the time), other days putting lip stick on makes me feel like a clown. These things are present enough in my life that the thoughts about what I am creep up from time to time, but they are not so present that its always on my mind. Sometimes my mannerism arent really female - around my female friends I kinda have always felt like the elephant, not moving as gracefully, not talking as softly, not sitting that woman like - my mannerisms just seem to be more men like then my other female friends, but they are more female then most of my male friends.

Because transitioning fully to a man is not an option for me (waaay to unsure with what I am, and also most of the times I‘m fine with my body I think) I just sort of pushed it all away. I also have never tried to embrace my „male side“ more - I dont want to be judged or to be asked questions if I suddenly show up with a baseball cap and a typical men hoodie. I also dont want everyone to think I am a butch lesbian, because thats the first thing people would think. I feel like if I could wear and behave however I wanted, and no one would care or ask questions, there would be days where I would wear a baseball cap and a hoodie, chewing gum and drinking a beer and just sit on my car, chilling. And there would be days where I would wear a dress, have flowers in my hair and have a picknick or something. So far I have only really lived the female side of this - and with clothing I kinda compromise, if I wear a male sweater I wear tight jeans or make up, to even it out a bit. Enough for people to notice Im probably not a girly girl, but not enough to make them look twice or to question my style or gender or sexuality.

Ive been thinking about embracing the clothes side of men a bit more, because I lost some weight and I‘m a little less curvy then before, so men shirts start to look kinda better then before. However, I am terrified to embrace any of this whole gender fluid stuff - what if I just surpressed being trans or something? Or if I try it out and after that it becomed unbearable to not be able to fully live being genderfluid? Right now I can deal with it - I would wish to embrace it more, but I can mostly handle not being really able to do so. I am afraid that this will change if I get a taste of it. Also I am kinda questioning everything in regard to gender - because if no one had ever commented on me looking like a boy, if not everyone around me had despreatly tried to put me in some box, I dont think I would ever have started to worry about all of this, I would have just been me. So maybe I am just a female but I’m not fitting the stereotypes that are put upon genders? Sexuality wise Im attracted to men, however I believe we fall in love with souls not bodies. Still most of the time I cant see myself being intimate with a women, but then suddenly some days I can - maybe pan? I think this whole gender topic didnt really bother me that much for a while because I was only aware of trans, and that didnt really fit me - so I just left it. Then I heard of non binary, but like I said mostly im fine, also I wouldnt want to be called they/them I think so that didnt really fit either. But now with this genderfluid stuff I heard of something that might fit me, so Im having a slight identity crisis right now to be honest.

I would just absolutely love to hear your thoughts on all of this - would you say gender fluid could be the right description for me? Or something else? Am I just insane? xD Do you know someone who experiences gender fluid similarly to me? Because most despriptions are that the change of gender is extreme and suddenly, and with me its more a way of expressions, clothes and weird feeling.

Sorry for the insanely long text!

It’s ok. Your gender identity is fluid. Non binary meaning you don’t identify as a man or women. Both non binary and genderfluid can coexists and you can identify as both. As for pronouns it’s entirely up to you. Not everyone who is non binary uses they/them pronouns. It’s not a requirement.

It would also seem you hardly have gender dysphoria since most trans people have it. It’s ok to identify as trans without having dysphoria, it’s not a requirement either.

But I do think genderfluid fits very well with what you are feeling. I recommend having a support group in case people are transphobic to you. However, since politics is a bitch, people will side with the transphobes so your only choice is to find solidarity with others who know and understand LGBTQ issues.

Thanks for the ask tho!! ☺️☺️💘💕💞💖💗💓

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a-manic-pixie-dream-journal · 5 years

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Okay I try not to get on a soap box about too many things, but this is a personal rant, so do not take it as an attack if you disagree

Since I was in middle school, I struggled with my femininity, feeling "pretty," or just comfortable in my own skin. When I was 14, I got my first pixie cut, and immediately people (guys and girls) were asking if I was gay, saying I was trans, and that I was really a man. Girls wanted to make sure I didnt hit on them, so they let me know they weren't interested. I only grew my hair out to stop hearing the teasing, but i hated my long hair so much. I felt like my face was wider, and it took forever to look exactly the way I wanted it. I cut it again when I was 16 and started dating, and guys who met me with long hair and saw it cut always said stuff like "why did you cut it THAT short" or "of course I dont care if you cut it...because it will grow back." No consideration of me wanting to keep it that way. So I grew it out again.

When I got to college, I saw a chance to have a fresh start, a more open community of students who cared a lot less about who did what. I felt a lot more comfortable changing up my appearance, so I cut my hair again, my friends all told me it suits me, it's my look, and I felt great. Then guys I was interested in told me "well I prefer girls with long hair" and asked "you're not gonna shave your head next, are you?" Needless to say, that interest faded mighty fast. Before I even cut my hair again, I did plays at school where the director had me doing side characters that were meant to be masculine, and told me how good I was at being masculine.

My ex constantly would buy me super girly clothes that I just did not like; sun dresses, wedge heels, lacey tank tops, all from stores that sell what I guess I can only describe as "preppy clothes" for lack of a better term. Like he wouldnt let me leave the store until I would try on a dress I really did not have any interest in. To the point where I was in tears.

I met someone a couple years ago who I am with now, and he met me with my short hair, wearing things I wanted to wear (ripped tights, doc martens). He pursued me, made me feel pretty, and loved me for who I was as a person. I started wearing his flannels, and I really liked it. For the first time I tried growing my hair out for me, seeing how I felt. I still didnt like it, but at least I tried it for reasons other than avoiding harrassment.

When I cut it yet again, I noticed a significant difference in the number of people who talked to me, showed any interest in what I said, even assumed my boyfriend and I were dating. We went to a bar to grab a drink, I was in one of his flannels and had my hair the way I have it now, and someone who talked to us asked if we were best friends or related.

At a gig my bf was playing, I went to the bathroom and saw another girl with a pixie cut there. I complimented her haircut and she said "thanks! It's so nice not having to tell people I'm gay, now they just know!"

I know it shouldn't matter what other people say, and the love I have from my bf is the only love I need. What bothers me is how easy it was for people to associate a haircut and clothes with attractiveness and sexual preference. This wouldnt have as big of an impact on me personally if it wasnt what I was surrounded by for the majority of my life.

I know there are girls, and trans men, and others who do utilize these parts of their appearance to emphasize their expression and preferences, and I have no problem with that, nor does my opinion of that even matter, because that's not my life. I guess for me it felt like something I didnt think should matter when meeting a person, and the fact that it was something so many people wanted to know before knowing anything else about me made me feel like no other part of me mattered. Like if I didnt look a certain way, I wasnt worth talking to even as just a friend. Or somehow these parts of me made me ugly. I know that isnt true now, and it was all a matter of immature idiots who cant see past their own ego, it just had a big impact on me as I was growing, developing, and figuring out who I am.

I'm sorry if this comes across as trying to invalidate anyone, or if it just sounds like privileged white girl whining, or whatever the case may be, this insecurity has always been part of me, even though I know I can rock my own brand of femininity, and have my own style, there's always this part of me wondering if I'm back to being the ugly friend girls take with them to look better by comparison (that happened a lot too).

I hope that any girls out there, who are feeling what I felt, or going through something similar, understand that it's okay to not look stereotypically girly, and it shouldn't matter unless you want it to.

#girl power #punk girl #cute girls #pixie hair #pixie cut #flannel #femininity #feminism #feminist #redefine beauty #positivity #body positive #positivethinking #positivevibes #positive mental attitude #insecurity #personal rant #thanks for coming to my ted talk

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imagine-loki · 6 years

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Monsters and Magic

TITLE: Monsters and Magic CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 40/? AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you’re a vampire who helps the Avengers defeat an evil seethe of other vampires, and Loki befriends you after you end up in their custody RATING: T (so far) NOTES/WARNINGS: Also on AO3 click here

“Bossy noodle,” you teased as you snuck your phone from your pocket to steal a picture of you kissing Loki’s cheek before you sat down to eat your dinner and drink your wine. Loki smiled and stole a kiss for you to take a picture of too. He enjoyed you taking pictures of the pair of you.

“Don’t post that pic or his army will revolt,” Stark teased.

You huffed and rolled your eyes. “Stark, I can’t post it, except to tumblr, the rest of social media thinks I’m dead, remember? Especially my family who needs to continue thinking I’m dead,” it was a miracle that they hadn’t believed yet that it was you hanging out with the Avengers. You figured that it was just that they knew you were dead that they didn’t question your doppelgänger. Either way, they hadn’t contacted the team asking about you and you tried not to be too much in the press. “And I’m not dumb enough to post it to tumblr and piss off his army,” you added quickly before anyone questioned you about your family. They couldn’t know you were alive. The vampires would kill them. Luckily, they lived outside the city, so you didn’t risk running into them.

“Has Lady Natasha gotten you a new identity yet?” Loki asked. You’d told him she was going to.

You nodded. “Yes, as Stark’s niece. It gives me an excuse for living here and working at Stark Industries,” you explained. Nat had been very thorough with your new identity. “But in all seriousness, if I go playing around too much on social media people might start figuring out who I am. It’s better if I don’t make a huge specticle of myself…” Before they could make a big deal about it you added. “Don’t worry about it, I’m perfectly happy keeping adorable pictures of the noodle to myself,”

“I like having you all to myself too, kitten,” Loki told you warmly and kissed your cheek.

You laughed. “You just don’t like other men looking at me,” you teased and stuck your tongue out at him while the others groaned at how adorable you were being.

Once dinner ended you used magic to summon clothes besides pajamas to wear, since pajamas are not outside clothes. “Where would you like to go, darling?” Loki asked you when you were dressed.

You looked over at him surprised. “Oh! I dont know. I assumed you had a plan. We could go get ice cream? No wait, you cant eat ice cream in public… um…”

“Are there any movies out that you would like to see?” he asked.

“We always go to the movies. You’ll be bored going to the movie theater again,” you reminded him. You checked the time and smirked. “I have an idea, but we’ll have to hurry… or not care if we’re there illegally after close…” Loki smirked at that last. He didn’t care one bit if you stayed wherever this was illegally after the place closed.

You took his hand and led the way, dragging him to a nearby zoo and grinned at him in delight when you dragged the poor confused god inside. “Behold, the creatures of Midgard!” you announced and beamed at him. He lit up in interest and you took his hand to lead him around and show him the animals in the zoo. He watched them in their enclosures in awe, though you saw him glance at you and seem relieved to see the smile on your face.

You did get concerned that he wasn’t having fun. These were pretty mundane creatures compared to things like bilgesnipe. Then you finally had an idea. “I know what you’ll like!” you told him brightly, trying so very hard to make sure he had fun too and dragged him into the snake house. “Lots of danger noodles!” you informed him brightly gesturing around to all the snakes in the snake house. Loki grinned in delight at all of the snakes and apparently decided to turn into one in solidarity, because the next instant there was a snake where your boyfriend had been. “Silly noodle,” you teased as you knelt to pet the snakes’s head. He slithered up your arm, resting across your shoulders, his tail wrapped around your arm. You giggled and carried him around the snake house so he could say hi to all of the other snakes. Some he stuck his tongue out at, some he hissed at, but he greeted every single snake in the snake house and seemed happy at doing in.

He eventually got bored and slithered back down to the floor to turn back into himself. At least you thought he was going to turn into himself. Instead, he was a gorgeous raven-haired lady instead. You knew Loki was genderfluid, you just hadn’t seen the evidence of it before. Loki was shy and reserved and Lady Loki was no different. Worse, she was scared that you would take it poorly. You could see it in her guarded expression, in her body language that was hunched in on herself nervously. You had to admit you were surprised since she hadn’t warned you, but you had accepted this part of your Loki without even having seen it. You gave her a bright smile and hugged her, leaning up to kiss her cheek. You took her hand. “C’mon, Lokes! I wanna see the big meows!” you told her brightly as if absolutely nothing had changed.

You saw Loki relax and light up in delight that you had accepted her just like that. It warmed your heart to see your gorgeous Lady Loki so happy. You wrapped your arms around one of hers adorably and dragged her over to the cat-house. You didn’t think about it as you stepped inside the dim building and didn’t even notice that your eyes started glowing when you stepped inside. You were too busy cooing over the cats.

Loki, however, noticed and leaned down to whisper in your ear. “Your eyes are glowing, sweetheart.” She gave you a warm, loving smile, adoration in her eyes.

“Oh, shit. Sorry!” you told her quickly and waved your hand in front of your eyes to put the illusions back over your eyes to hide them from the mortals.

“No need to apologize, little one,” Lady Loki purred affectionately in your ear. “Your eyes are quite beautiful when they glow, though they and you always are,”

You blushed at the compliment, but rolled your eyes. You didn’t quite believe her since she wouldn’t have pointed out that your eyes were glowing if she was speaking the truth. “You’re an incorrigible flatterer even as a woman,” you informed Loki before you slowly, tentatively kissed her. You were unsure if your kisses would be welcome with Loki in this form.

Loki pulled you into a deep kiss, reassuring you that she wanted to kiss you just as much in this form as her other. “You are just too beautiful for words, kitten,” she told you warmly when she finally ended the kiss.

“Hardly in comparison to you, lady love,” you purred in reply and stole another kiss before you returned to cooing over the cats, Loki’s hand in yours. She seemed more interested in watching your interaction with the cats than with the giant cats themselves.

You pouted when the announcement came throughout the zoo that it was closing. “They don’t stay open much past dark,” you explained to Loki as you wandered with her back to the entrance. You didn’t feel like staying here illegally tonight. Maybe another night. Loki was a bad influence on you on certain things. “So I haven’t been to a zoo in years,” you told her as you walked.

“Then I am glad we could come now,” Loki told you warmly in reply.

“You had fun? I mean, I’m sure the creatures on Asgard are more interesting…” you asked worried that your dully Midgardian creatures would be boring to the god who had studied so much over her long life.

“I did have fun. Midgardian animals are not at all similar to those on Asgard,” Loki reassured you and sounded like she really was telling the truth. She did tend to avoid lying to you.

“Good!” you replied brightly and swung your clasped hands as you walked back to the tower. You did pause outside the tower when you made it back. “I don’t mind, and I love and support you no matter what you decide to do, but do you want to face the others in this form?” you asked Loki tentatively. You weren’t sure the rest of the team would be as accepting of Loki as you were. “I’ll kick their asses if they’re mean to you!” you added quickly, though you weren’t exactly in the shape to carry out that promise.

“It’s alright, darling. I don’t care what the rest of the team says or thinks. The only person whose opinion I care about is you,” she told you and gave you a soft sweet kiss.

“I’ll still kick their assess if they’re mean,” you offered after the kiss as you headed inside with your Loki.

“The kitten has claws,” she laughed and you couldn’t help lighting up at the melodic sound.

“I dont like them making you sad,” you replied firmly, punching the button for the common room floor a little harder than you needed.

“I’ll be alright, kitten,” she told you warmly. The elevator doors opened onto the living room and the rest of the team. They looked over automatically to welcome you home, but their mouths all fell open in surprise when they saw Loki.

Except Thor. Loki’s wonderful oaf of a brother just sauntered right over and kissed each of you on the hand in turn, because that’s just how ladies on Asgard were greeted. You could’ve kissed him for his open acceptance. The others would follow his lead. Loki gave her brother a small smile and spared a glance for the rest of the team, who were still all surprised. “What?” she asked innocently.

Nat grinned as she, and most of the others, jumped from surprise to shrugs of acceptance. Stark looked like he wanted to make a sarcastic comment, but Nat spoke up first before he could get himself defenestrated. “Some of the girls are coming over for ladies’ night tonight. I didn’t invite you two because sestricka is about as ungirly as anyone can get, but its margaritas, stupid girly movies, too much junk food, and nail polish if you want to join us?” Nat offered the pair of you with an accepting smile for Loki. You would have argued, but you were about the ungirliest girl ever. And spent most of your time working as a grease monkey/engineer in Tony’s lab.

Loki considered the invitation and seemed touched that she was even invited. “It sounds like fun,” she turned to you, knowing that it probably wasn’t your idea of a fun time. “How do you feel about it, sweetheart?” she asked you. She’d give up her fun for your comfort and you knew it.

You shrugged. “Could be fun,” you answered. You were willing to give it a shot. You gave Stark a glare, seeing the sarcastic comment on the tip of his tongue. You didn’t want him to make your Loki sad.

“Great! We’ll be taking over the living room at 7!” Nat told you both kindly.

Stark couldn’t hold it in anymore and opened his mouth to say something stupid. You turned, making a quick movement with your wrist in the same movement and your very unassuming watch turned into a repulsor on her palm, charged with its usual obvious sound and pointed at Stark. “I would highly reconsider whatever you’re going to say,” you warned him while everyone just stared that you had a repulser at all, much less one this high tech. Even Stark’s emergency repulsers weren’t this nice.

Loki just laughed and gave you a proud look. “I think he gets the picture, kitten,” she told you kindly, amused at your defense of her.

You looked over at her. “Are you sure?” you asked innocently.

Loki gave Stark a wicked smile, which looked somehow even more wicked on her female face. “If he tries to say anything, you are quite welcome to shoot him, but until then, we’re fine,”

You gave her a bright smile and leaned up to kiss Loki’s cheek. You shook your hand and the repulser turned back into a watch. “When did you make that?” Stark finally asked, shaking himself out of his stupor to come up with the question. He was as surprised as everyone else when you suddenly had tech for yourself. “And why is it nicer than mine?!” he demanded after he rushed over to taken your hand to investigate the tech and its construction.

You shrugged and let Stark look, though you realized quickly that he was touching you longer than your overprotective Loki would be comfortably with. “Made it a couple days ago when I was in the lab,” you replied a bit sheepishly. You weren’t forbidden from making weapons for yourself, but you usually made stuff for the team..

Loki moved to stand closer to you, glaring at Stark to remove his hands from you. Stark completely ignored her, his entire focus on the piece of tech on your wrist and asking questions about it as he manipulated it to transform again. Your wrist and hand remained firmly clasped in Stark’s callused grip. Loki summoned a dagger in one smooth movement. “Stark, I would remove your hands now before I sever them,” she told Stark dryly and too calmly.

Stark just looked at Loki confused. “What are you talking about, reindeer games?” he asked, apparently over Loki being female.

Loki got even more aggravated. “Let my little vampire go, Stark,” she growled, sounding even more menacing.

Stark made a disgusted face but dropped your hand quickly. “Seriously? She’s a kid, like I’d even be interested…” Stark growled. Loki just smirked at Stark and vanished the dagger from her hand. Stark grumbled something unflattering about overprotective aliens who fancied themselves to be gods. You wisely removed the unassuming watch and handed it to Stark so he could examine it without getting his hands sliced off.

You plopped down on the couch with one of the video game controllers. “Anyone fancy a game?” you asked, teasing as Loki sat next to you on the couch. He wanted to enjoy watching whoever challenged you get pummeled. Thor was the first to rise to the challenge as long as he could play as the thunder-mouse. You grinned and set up the fighting game. You let the poor oaf think he stood a chance before completely trouncing him. More people jumped in and out of the game each round, finding fun in the stupid silly fighting game.

Clint stuck his tongue out at you when you continued to win. “How are you so good at this?” he whined.

You laughed “It was the only thing my little sister and I could agree on. We’ve been playing this stupid game since the N64…” you explained. Seriously, it was the only thing you and Bree had everbeen able to agree on.

“Shouldn’t you be resting, little one?” Loki asked when you’d killed her brother in the game for about the hundredth time. Thor was persistent, even if he did suck at the game.

“I slept all day and I am resting,” you protested with a whine. “Kicking your brother’s ass at video games isn’t strenuous at all!~” you reminded her, still whining while Thor laughed at your ability to defeat him in such a spectacular manner.

Loki giggled “If you say so, darling. Have you had any blood today?” she continued to pester and mother-he.

You rolled your eyes. “Yes, I had that mug before I introduced you to your army,” you reminded her. “Overprotective noodle,” you grumbled under your breath.

“Feisty kitten,”

“Can I go back to beating up your brother now?” you teased while Thor protested that he’d win.

“By all means, my love,”

You grinned in reply and proceeded to crush Thor. Multiple times. Until the pizza arrived. Nat was about to automatically tell Loki to go get it. She usually did, since she was amused by watching him deal with the delivery guys. She smirked at Loki though. “You’re excused from the manly job of carrying things,” she teased Loki, her tone making it clear that her teasing was friendly and in no way malicious. Loki could accept teasing from the team as long as they weren’t teasing maliciously. “Thor! Go get the pizzas!” Nat ordered instead. Loki giggled in delight at the fact that Thor was forced to go get the pizzas instead.

Thor grumbled, but goodnaturedly went to collect the pizzas. He returned with not only pizza, but accompanied by ladies with even more snack foods. Pepper has arrived with the margaritas, Jane and Darcy had junk food, Maria Hill brought even more booze. And the boys somehow find themselves kicked out of the living room. Thor kept trying to avoid getting kicked out by making out with Jane.

Unfortunately he did this right in front of Loki, who waved her hand and Thor vanished up to his room, where he was banished for the night. “Now, what shall we start with?” she asked pleasantly while Jane ineffectively spluttered that Loki made her boyfriend vanish.

“Who’s the new witch?” Darcy asked a bit densely with an approving smirk at Loki. The pizzas and a selection of DVDs were set out while Loki smirked at how oblivious Darcy was.

“That’s Loki, Darce,” Jane told her grumpily. She was still upset that Loki sent Thor away. She got over it quickly, though when she pulled a bottle of alcohol from her bag. “Thor gave me this for our evening,” she told you all, holding up the bottle of Asgardian booze to the cheers from the others as glasses of the stuff are poured and passed around.

Loki grabbed the glass from your reach before Jane handed it to you. “Be careful. This stuff is not meant for mortals,” she warned you firmly. Her tone was worried.

“She’s not mortal, Loki,” Nat reminded her gently. “Stop being so overprotective. We dont even know if she canget drunk. And if she does, she’s safe with us,” Nat reminded Loki reasonably. It wouldn’t do to have Loki make you be a prude. Loki sighed, conceding to Nat’s point and handed you the glass with a reminder to pleasebe careful.

You nodded and took the glass, sipping on it carefully through the evening. They started a movie, and it wasn’t the typical chick flick that you were expecting. Instead, it was a superhero movie with a female lead. The pizza was devoured and the nail polish came out. Somehow Loki ended up on the floor in front of your couch with you brushing out her long hair while Nat painted her nails jet black. You sat around with them gossiping about the boys on the team and other various silly topics. It was nice just to be accepted, and even nicer that they accepted Loki just as easily. Loki admired Nat’s work on her nails and seemed so very happy to be accepted by this odd group of women.

At one point during the evening, Darcy told Loki the story of tasing Thor while you contentedly brushed out Loki’s hair. You knew how much Loki loved having her hair played with usually. You figured that she would like it even better now that it was longer. Loki purred softly at the brush moving through her hair and laughed in absolute delight at the story of her brother getting tased. “And Jane hit him with her car! Twice!” Darcy added at the end of her story. She was having fun getting Loki to laugh.

Loki just started laughing harder. “My brother always gets himself into the worst situations,” she said between spurts of laughter.

“Though I have to admit he’s hot as hell. And his hammer,” Darch laughed at Jane’s horrified expression.

“HOW?!” Jane demanded angrily, wondering how Darcy had even seen that piece of Thor’s anatomy.

Darcy laughed at Jane’s indignant spluttering. “Your boyfriend has no shame and trapses around our apartment in nothing but his birthday suit. Not my fault!” Darcy protested. “And he’s a god if he’s traipsing around nude it would just be rudenot to appreciate the view,” she added conspiratorially.

There may have been quite a bit of booze consumed at that point of the evening.

Loki cringed at where the conversation was going. She didn’t want to hear anything about her brother’s ‘hammer’. Darcy laughed at Loki’s expression and drunkenly decided to make it even worse. “So, vampirina, what about that boyfriend of yours, surely he’s well endowed,” she teased, trying to make you blush, or come to Loki’s defense, or possibly make Loki blush. She was too drunk to tell properly.

You laughed and covered Loki’s ears with your hands. You knew it was completely ineffective and Loki could easily hear through your hands, but it was funny to the others to pretend she couldn’t. “A lady does not kiss and tell,” you told Darcy, while Loki pretended that she couldn’t hear a thing. She was shy, though, and didn’t want your activities aired in front of the others, especially this group that she didn’t know particularly well. Being seen making out around the tower was one thing, airing more private information than that wasn’t something she was comfortable with.

/Don’t worry, I’m not stupid enough to tell them anything/ you reassured your Loki and went back to the pleasant activity of brushing her hair, ignoring the boos from Darcy that you wouldn’t tell her anything about Loki.

You leaned down to whisper in Loki’s ear. “Are you going to be upset if I braid your hair? You can tell me not to, I won’t be offended,” you promised quickly. You knew how Loki was with her hair.

Loki smiled warmly up at you. “Do as you please. I don’t mind,” she told you warmly. You smiled in return, kissed Loki’s cheek, and began to carefully braid her hair.

Quite a few hours, multiple movies, too much junk food, and way too much booze passed and you ended up all quite drunk and happily passed out on the couches and cushions around the living room. You were curled on your usual couch with your Loki, protectively held in her arms. You were too giggly and kept stealing kisses from your love. In short, you had come to the conclusion that you could, in fact, become drunk.

Unfortunately, you were extremely drunk by the time you came to this conclusion.

Loki chuckled and gave you a softly, sleepy kiss. “Rest, little one,” she told you warmly, holding you securely in her arms and it wasn’t long before the amount of booze had you happily sleeping in your Loki’s arms.

It was much too early when the menfolk came stomping into the room. They could manage to be all quiet and stealthy on missions, but managed to stomp like a herd of elephants when trying to sneak past a room of hungover women.

Loki opened her eyes to glare at the annoying men, curling herself better around you as she closed her eyes again to try to sleep off the hangover. You mewed softly and hid your face against Loki, covering your ears with a whimper. Nat and Maria both drew their guns at the loud men out of reflex. They also appeared to have done this without bothering to open their eyes. Loki tried to soothe you, but the idiot men wouldn’t stop being clumsy and making noise.

Nat actually got off her couch and stormed to the herd of loud men. “Shut. Up.” She snarled firmly, leaving no room for question before she killed them all. “The tiny vampire is hung over for probably the first time ever. If you lot make her cry, there is nothing on god’s green earth to stop Loki from killing you where you stand. And she would take absolute delight in it. So shut up,” Nat snarled.

Loki gave her a grateful smile. “You should listen to Lady Natasha. If my kitten whines from a headache because of your noise, you will not like what happens,” she threatened while you mewed in her arms.

The menfolk all rushed to promise to be quiet and somehow ended up making even more noise on their way to the kitchen and still more while they attempted to make breakfast. You tried not to whimper or whine in order to save their lives. But you already had enhanced hearing and being hungover just made the situation worse.

Even hungover, Loki managed to summon and aim multiple daggers with magic and they flew toward the rowdy men.

“See if we make you breakfast!” Clint whined as he ducked under a table to avoid getting stabbed.

The only one who wasn’t affected was Bucky who had the art of moving silently down to a T. He came over with as many glasses of water as he could carry and began passing them and the good pain drugs out. “C'mon Striga, this’ll help,” he promised you softly and goaded you into sitting up. You whined and mewed and just wanted to close your eyes and sleep forever, but he eventually got you into a sitting position and soon had a glass of water and pain meds in your hands.

Loki gave Bucky a warm smile. “Thank you Sergeant,”

Bucky nodded and handed the bottle of pain meds marked in runes to Loki. “These ones are for you… your brother said the Midgardian medicine doesn’t work on you. He also said ‘Friggadotir’ is the correct form of address?” Bucky replied. He was trying to hard to be proper and show his support of Loki’s current gender by asking Thor how to be supportive. Loki gave him a warm smile and a nod, touched that Bucky was trying. Bucky turned back to your pathetic form and placed one of ht many pair of tinted glasses that were scattered around the tower for you on your nose. “I know it’s only just past dawn, but your eyes are sensitive enough. Its going to be worse hungover…” he told you softly and gently. “Drink your water. Breakfast will be ready soon and then you can go to bed,”

Bucky left you for a moment and returned with plates of eggs and toast for all of you, though there was also bacon on Loki’s plate since she seemed the least hungover of all of you. Lucky Asgardian and her crazy metabolism. “Thank you, Bucky,” she replied, trying out Bucky’s nickname since she considered the man a friend and was tired of being so formal and using his title all the time. She’d have to give him a nickname of his own at some point, but for now he could keep ‘Bucky’

Bucky nodded. “Don’t worry about it, Doll,” he replied without even thinking or realizing what he said. He turned his attention back to where you were staring absently at your plate of food. “Eat, Striga, you’ll feel better. And then you can go to bed with those nice blackout curtains you have,” he told you kindly. You managed to eat the food in front of you without throwing it up. That was a good sign.

Loki moved when you had finished eating and started to pick you up so she could get you to bed. Bucky placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her. “You’re off carrying things duty, remember?” Bucky asked, lightly teasing, his voice kind. “I’ve got Striga. You need to rest too.” Loki seemed to notice that she was a bit unsteady on her feet and allowed Bucky to pick you up instead. “You alright, doll?” Bucky asked, noting Loki’s unsteadiness.

“I might have had a little too much mead last night…” Loki replied sheepishly.

“I think it’s safe to say you all did ” Bucky replied dryly and somehow managed to get you both tucked into your bed. He closed the blackout curtains once you were safely settled in bed and didn’t seem inclined to wander off. “Sleep it off, dolls,” Bucky told you warmly.

#Loki #Lover #Submitted fic #submission #monsters and magic #chapter 40 #nekoamamori

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maryannalush · 5 years

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Rant on Voltron season 8

I dont know how long this will be and im sorry if i ramble.

Okay so i just finish watching Voltron and let me tell you i am not amused. And it is more than just the last episode. I mean that was pretty weak in my opinion. I know some people liked it. Power to them. But not me. I felt like my intelligence had been insulted.

First i will start with Allura. I knew when I first started watching Voltron that she was going to die. And at first i was like "yea okay, last altean, i see where they are going with this". I didnt really like her character at first. She seem to happy, and just to much. But as the seasons when on i felt like she gained something. She wasn't just this hollow, one dimension, self sacrificing character. But at the same time i felt like she was constantly trying to die to save people and that's good and all but it was way overused (not just with her but all the paladins) and i just felt it was really stupid. Like you are the only people who can save the universe (and all realitys) and yet you are willing to throw away your life at the drop of a hat. 💁‍♀️ bitch what. And then with her romance with Lotor. That just rubbed me the wrong way. I get it. She thought he was the last one of her kind. I just felt forced. Like really forced. It felt to me like a plot point and nothing more.

Then we have Lance. Some things with his character were really good. Like he was a ladies man but not in the creepy way that a lot of them are played out to be. He was kind and never tried to really force his was with Allura and i loved that. He respected her and didn't treat her like some object that he could have if he tried hard enough. Everyone knew he liked her but he wasn't constantly showing her with affection and offers and gifts like i have seen over and over again in TV shows. It was really refreshing. But outside of that there wasn't much to his character. He could shoot well, yea. But that's not really a character trait. Just a skill. I think they could have done so much with his character if they tried. But he was literally like a side character the entire time. Nothing about his character really shown through the whole show. He was just sure of himself and sometimes but the team in danger. Plus he was super annoying at times. Don't get me wrong i think hes a good character but just way under done.

Next us Keith's character. I think he went though the most changes thought Voltron. With a few occational backtracks. He started out as this out cast kid who didn't like authority and wanted to be alone (the emo kid) into someone whole led the fight against the Galra. (More about becomig leader later). And i loved his character growth, but we didnt really get to see it happen. One minute he was with his mom outside of the Colony the next he's back with Voltron and hes ready to be a leader. Before he left he was still this kid who was running away from responsiblitly, running g away from being the Black Paladin and then he gets back to the ship and boom hes a leader. I understand he aged and matured and probably learned a thing or two from his mother but we never really see that. Shiro was alway "ill never give up on you" but it didnt make him the leader. Another thing that frustrated me was when Shiro left for space Keith got himself kicked out of the Garrison. Its kinda like all the stiff Shiro did to get him in and keep him in was for nothing. Especially after they thought he died. All those flash back and the time he spent with him added up to nothing. Sure it was used later to show the bond between them and help them a time or two, and that great, but i feel like that could have been achieved though the other things they went through. I also find it weird that no one ever knew that he wasn't fully human, i feel like something would have shown before he activated the Blade. All other half breeds showed outwardly that they were part Galra but he didnt. He looked totally human until then. Once again i think it was a plot point. Especially when Allura was avoiding him because he was part Galra was super stupid, or at least i thought. Mainly because i feel like really had no reason to dislike him, like he never did anything and she was like "thats because your Galra". He wasn't mean or anything. Loner, yes. I dont know it just kinda made me made.

Pidge is next. I feel like Pidges main thing was learning to accept herself and find her brother. I like how they did it and that she didnt start dressing girly once they found out. She was who she wanted to be. And being male or female didnt change that. Even when she got back to earth. I also low key forgot they were looking for her brother and farther like half way through because they never really made way on it until she saw the picture of her brother. I mean yes they hinted at it. But it seemed like she put it on a back burner, then all of a sudden it was all she cared about. And that just doesn't seem very Pidge to me. And even thought she is a girl they didnt make her less of a character than the rest like Allura was for a while. She was always super important and stayed that way.

I dont really have much to say about Hunk. I loved him and he was a good supporting character to the main people but that's just about all her was.

Okay now one of the things i really didnt like about the whole thing. The switching lion. Why, why..... why. To me it felt silly and unessisary. At the time Keith was no where near being ready to pilot the black lion and Allura had been a dull character. Lance was perfect for Blue and Keith for Red. But when they switched it made me feel like they were being forced into role that really didnt belong. I feel like Allura should have piloted the black lion in Shiros absences but given it back when Shiro returned. She had shown.she was a leader and respected by everyone and it was almost a slap in the face to see her in the blue lion. And Lance in the red lion felt wrong too. Shiro should have stayed Black paladin and in his absence Allura. Like a mom and dad duo. (Not ship wise tho) They gave off the vibes of both being the leaders, Shiro being the to and Alloura his second i command. As i srated ealier Keith did eventually step up as a leader but i feel like as the red lion he could have been a leader like Shiros right hand man. I feel like the shift was unessisary and cause more problems then it solved. And then they didnt change out fits either so you have the red paladin wearing a blue outfit and the black paladin wearing a red outfit. It irked me to no end seeing that. Like you change lion you change suit. Boi 😤🙏

And then the last season. Oof. I feel like it was pulling in so many different directions. It was so much confusing, more like info overload. They could have either made another season or took some pointless thing out. Like they kept having to prove their bond with each other every other episode. It got boring. I under stand it happening once or twice but how often i heard Keith saying we have to work together it the power is within was over kill. They already established they were super strong together. I understand they wanting the audience to know that were strong but really. Almost every episode. Come on. Give me a break. It almsot it like their bond before wasn't really a bond so they had to do it again. But whatever.

Now Alluras death. Let me tell you that made me mad. Like wtf. The was they did it was alomst lien they pulled ut out of their ass. "Hey how should we end this" "i dont know... it had to be something epic" "how about all the paladin combine their strength with all the last paladins and Hagger and fix the universe and channel it thought Allura ( how i thought it should have gone. Because we literally see the past paladins before she goes but idk) " naw lets just kill Allura and make it as unrealistic and simple as possible". I feel like they could have done so much more, something so much more meaningful. It just felt so rushed and almost pointless. Like they didnt know what to do and took out the most useless paladin and called it a day. It just wa ssooo freaking stupid and dull. And then when They were saying goodbye they were all okay with it. Didn't question it. Didn't try to come up with a different solution like they have done ever time in the past that someone tried to sacrifice theirselves. Nope just was like if you say so. Boop. Big freaking ooof. Like ever other time someone tried to sacrafice themselves they found a was to do something else but there they where kind ooc a bit. And lance. Man. I feel like he was under reacted. That was the love of his life. The girl he would never get over a d he barely argued. Like no. No. Just no. All his character development, poof gone. All im saying is they wouldn't have just accepted it. Of all the things they went through i just dont think they would.

Lastly the after credit(?) Thing. There was so much wrong with that. Like lance. I feel like he would have not moved on per say but found someone else to love. Because Allura wouldn't have wanted him to grow up and be alone for the rest of his life. It was sad and kinda pathetic. She would have wanted him to find a nice girl and have little baby lances. Instead he was forever heart broken and unable to move on. Blah. And Chip i wanted more about chip. Why did she build him. Was he supposed to be a son like figure because he looked like a child. Did he even work. I have so many questions. And then Shiro marring some random bimbo. They had no build up, nothing. He just in a few shots aboard the Atlas. It felt like a last minute decision. They could have done so much with them becoming a thing. But nope they show Shiro may or may not have been with Adam and then decided just to give him a random gay marriage. They aaidsomething about him finding happiness but never once did it seem like that was what he was looking for throughout the show. Not like Lance was. He never even seemed interested in anyone thought out the whole thing. Like maybe he traveled the first earth mission thought space or something idk. It made his character feel sallow.

End of rant. If you disagree with me or think i jave something wrong feel free to discuss it with me. Like and adult.

Thanks for your time.

#voltron #shiro #takashi shirogane #lance #allura #hunk #vld s8 #vld spoilers #vld season 8 #vld shitpost #pidge #pidge gunderson #rant #sorry for the rant #ihatedthelastseason

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sleepyplushie · 5 years

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Posted on Reblog Page, but its important and i felt like i should share it here.

im trans/agender masculine? (he/they, AFAB) and queer.

i have severe dysphoria. most days, i cant even get out of bed, let alone take a damn shower... it makes me what to vomit, looking at my current body state.

i am also Autistic and have PTSD, Anxiety, Depression, Dissociative Amnesia, and ADHD. I am 20 years old.

I plan on getting top surgery, hormone replacement therapy, and a hysterectomy in the near future. ASAP.

My mother was/is highly abusive towards me, mostly verbally/emotionally/&mentally. (my 18 yr old brother, my stepdad, and recently my 7yr old sister have been the same though less frequently.)

i hated my body early on and learned to just.. roll with what mom wanted to avoid getting hit or screamed at...

i despised the dresses, the makeup. i hated my deadname, my assigned pronouns. it wasnt me. my name felt.. disgusting in her mouth to my ears. and i even resorted to telling her a fake chosen name to call me, which she RARELY does... because she turned my first chosen name, and favorite one, into something that leaves a bile taste in my mouth.

she made fun of my boyishness and tried to make me more “girly”. and now, she laughs at me and ssays im not a real man because i like nail polish, pastel colors, sundresses, and cute things... i AM a man! she makes me feel like shit because im feminine and constantly points out my “blood moons” and my chest and my curves...

she makes me hate myself so damn much! my girlfriend (who is transMtF, btw. so my mom doesnt like her much either...she lets my stepdad call her a Sis$y, Tr@p, and such...) wants me to not completely hate my body, but helps me when i feel like garbage because of mom.

i cant say i hate my mother... its almost like she keeps me under a spell that makes me feel more sorry for her then hatred for her. i wish i could hate her sometimes. but i just hope that me, disappearing from her life and starting my new one as the man i know i am!!!!! will make her see. if not, she’ll never see me again. ill come back one day to visit her, once ive completely transitioned, but until i can disappear... im stuck here. in this hecc hole...

and i hate the situation. i hate that parents are like this. i hate that my mom, the woman i wanted so desprately to love me as a child, made me hate my body so much, made me suffer daily from panic attacks and depression. gave me dissociative amnesia and wont admit it, wont help me remember the years i Cant remember. (most of my childhood is just... blank... no memories... i cant remember middle school. or when she first married my stepdad, or when i was really little.)

i am so sorry for this rant. theres alot more shes done and said. alot of it i dont remember completely... sometimes, something will trigger a memory but its heartbreaking and painful to relive and remember the struggle of simply living. it hurts knowing that, despite all this. i do remember before she divorced my dad. when we were somewhat happy. when she still forced me into dresses and scolded me for playing rough and dirty. despite everything, she did not shape who i am. i am bigger then my abuse. i remember clearly, knowing i was a boy even back then. i am so much stronger then what she put me through. and even though no child should have to go through what i did and so many others do, it made me stronger.

i am not a victim. she did not aid me in discovering myself. she will never hold that. that, beautiful awakening of who i am, the man i really am, femininity and all. is my own doing. her hindering of that was merely a setback. she will never hold over me that she made me a victim, that she broke me or scarred me. she will never change who i am, try as she might, i am STRONG in who i am!

i will always be a man, no matter what anyone says. my feminine side doesnt define me. i can wear a pretty yellow sundress and still be a man. i can feel like neither gender one day and still wear nail polish and bows in my hair. i can do whatever i feel comfortable. i am a man. i go by he/they pronouns. and NOTHING will ever change that. ive had 6+ years to think about this.

stay strong and brave, my brothers and sisters, and nonbinary tricksters. dont let your abuser make you a victim. dont give them the RIGHT to make you feel like shit. youll get out soon, youll be free, youll be happy. they can NEVER have your self discovery, nomatter how hard they try to break you down and tear you up. dont give in, dont give them the satisfaction. they dont deserve it.

stay yourselves. stay beautiful.

Yours,

Bambi~

P.S. i will post more eventually telling more of my story... i’ll record here anything i remember as well from my past.

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tumblunni · 6 years

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Weirdass Real Cis AF Conversation going on downstairs

"Oh my daughter's wedding yeah i want the girliest dress yeah she loves girly stuff. Like even when she was a baby she'd always wear frilly petticoats."

Like..umm.. You put her in those clothes...?

Serioudly she was on about how she bought a whole fancy old fashioned petticoat for a literal one year olf including frilly knickers, and how THE DAUGHTER IN QUESTION said she didnt want to raise her own kids so heavily gendered from such a young age as she was, but the mom was like "oh just wait til theyre born and you see them! You'll totally understand! Mommy instincts blablabla!"

Like wow i've never seen talk of these certain type of baby underwear instincts before. Seriously man that must be so uncomfortable for a literal one year old in a diaper to have frilly scratchy stuff everywhere?? And like an eight layer petticoat she cant even run around in?? Like if you're really insistant on only buying stereotypically feminine clothes you could just go to the actual baby clothes aisle and pick up something pink? Man it must have been hell for the mom too, to get all that stuff off every time a diaper needs changing!

And then seriously how can you say 'oh my daughter liked that and my son would never like that' when theyre both too young to even say their first word? Of course theyre gonna wear whatever you put on them, they cant exactly fight you off! They dont even have object permenance or a concept of what dresses ARE, let alone the social implications of fashion and gender roles! I just wanted to interrupt and be like "oh your son doesnt like it? So you've let him try it? And you've let your daughter try other outfits too?"

And It doesnt really bloody sound like the daughter liked being dressed that way as a kid if she argued with you about doing it to her own kid. And she was all laughing about "oh lol my son was always covered in sick instead of his clothes, he'd always pull them off haha Boys Amirite". Dude your kid is just a nebulous blob of vague comprehension of the world. Both of them would be running around being 'little terrors' if both of them could run! And serioudly thats just how much babies HATE clothes at first, they dont know why they have to wear a thing around their neck and chest or why its bad to take it off. Can you imagine how much more fidgety a kid would be in the most over the top petticoat nonsense? And not being able to crawl or run or play because she's not allowed to get stains on the stupid thing?

Ugh man i wore a frilly petticoat like that when i was a kid up to around age 6 or 7. Because it was all i had and my parents decided what i wore every day. And i didnt know that some things were 'girly' or 'manly' let alone that i was trans yet! Well i mean i guess i kind of still was me but i didnt know to feel bad about it cos i didnt know boys couldnt wear this or girls had to wear this. I just had no feelings on it except that it was annoyyyyying to wait thru all this long process of putting it on each morning and i'd fidget like hell. And then it was uncomfortable and i just had to get used to it because i thought ALL clothes were just as bad? I liked how the skirt fanned out if i ran but i hated that i wasnt supposed to run in it. And i still tried to run around and climb trees and roll in the grass and hide behind the sofa and make forts and be a "little terror" even when i kept getting told off for "ruining" my good clothes. And i think thats where i started my general hatred of shoes cos those fancy dress shoes were so tight and cut up the back of my feet. I'd take them off as soon as my parents werent watching! And theyd all swear that i "loved" having my hair tied back in a ribbon even though i'd cry about people tpuching and pulling my hair and then keep conveiniently losing the ribbon by the end of the day. Seriously bad parents will just make up a personality for you and never bother to actually ask you! Like i mean i dunno of this lady is a bad parent just cos she believes in kinda exaggerated gender stereotypes, but my parents did and yeah it reminded me of they who were very much not good :/

OH MAN LOL its funny looking back on how my parents were ~so concerned~ at my ~sudden phase~ of hating dresses and choosing to wear "boy clothes" literally AS SOON AS I LEARNED THERE WERE OTHER OPTIONS. And they still chose everything i wore so i'd just have to go for the least feminine of the bunch and like ignore half of the closet until they got the hint. Imagine like entire years of slowly getting slightly more neutral clothes until eventually i had one singular t shirt. Still with care bears on it. And as soon as i actually got to choose my own clothes i was totally off on the me train! "What has caused this alarming new trend out of nowhere?" Asks zero memory mom, who was complaining about the same damn thing every time i did anything non girly for the last decade. Also they complained that i was "less vibrant and happy and didnt run around like you did as a kid" despite the fact they friggin punished me for running around and not being a demure young girl :/

And then there's the whole subject of how all babies regardless of gender wore frilly smocks and bows in victorian times. It was still considered unmasculine for a grown man but it was like in an "immature" sense. It was called the breeching of the child, i think? That age when you get old enough to start wearing pants, it was treated as a lil life milestone celebration. There's loads of other stuff like that of our ideas of masculine and feminine clothing switching sides throughout history! Baby blue was considered the primary feminine colour for a long time, and pink was just considered a shade of manly red. High heels and tights were both invented as male fashions,and you see LOADS of regency era men wearing them in portraits! They only became degraded as a women only thing because crossdressing women would wear them and society had a homophobic transphobic panic and decided to abandon the trend. And over time it was all forgotten and the idea morphed into a 'ultinate symbol of straight femininity' just like it was the ultimate straight masculinity before...

So yeah lol sorry i just overheard a very stupid excuse for why imposing super over the top gender roles on a kid is ~totally good~ and i just went off on a brain thought train about the whole subject. I guess im still a bit upset from the whole transphobic mess yesterday and im probably judging this lady a bit too harshly.

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