#she WILL shade him for it when she can

[noeggets]

i was looking up animals in the hedgehog family cause hedgehog's are not rats/rodents they are erinaceidae's and the only other erinaceidae i could see included in the family is a moonrat which looks like this

it looks like a mix between a hedgehog and possum, it looks like a hedgehog but with long legs,snoot and tail. Hedgehog but no spikes version

#talkin #i was looking this up because i wanted to make Amy this cause my inner's are telling me if im gonna make- #breezie a porcupine which isn't in the hedgehog fam i can make Amy something that's not a hedgehog #idk i feel like some animals are exclusive to certain people not that there cant be two hedgehogs i just want variety #like i feel like since it's said Knuckles is the last echidna left i need to respect that not include any other echidna's besides Tikal- #and Shade because if he's the last let him be the last #Tikal was stuck in timespace so she gets a solid pass and i haven't finished sonic chronicles yet but i like Shade #Like when they made Silver he was a mink lets keep him a mink VARITY! #this is just a me thing

[lilyharvord]

I need people to understand that my hyperfixation ships are limited to one thing: a man who is usually in full control of himself meeting 1 woman and losing complete and utter control over absolutely everything he does.

I just like to watch when they go full feral for a woman who could literally chew them up and spit them out, but choses to let them stick around because I don't know, it's nice to have someone carrying their bag or whatever.

#red queen #mare did this twice over so she gets double points #this is why I adore Marecal #I am forever feral over the line: I will protect you as long as I can #AND: I thought of you in the end I saw your face in the water #THAT MAN IS RIDICULOUS FOR THAT. He did not need to go around re-inventing love #cause I mean... man was a full blood prince with “responsibilities” and he seriously fell apart over a woman who was 5'2“ #and dont even get me started On kanthony #I am unironically obsessed with the scene in the library and the line: AND IT IS NOT FAR ENOUGH #ridiculous that this man sniffed the air behind her as she walked by #like sir you are in HEAT stop it XD #and of course i could never forget about Delilah Bard and Kell Marsh #holy shit talk about a man with his life in order who met one woman and became so fucking smitten he spent a whole book low key crying #about her being gone and then getting stupidly excited over seeing her again #and then left his brother behind to go sail on a boat with her XD when she clearly only keeps him around for minimal purposes #I swear to god I went FERAL OVER “there is no where you can go” said the Antari to her prince “that I cannot follow” #SHUT UP she loves him so much😭😭😭😭😭😭 and she refused to admit it to him #a darker shade of magic #fragile threads of power

[seagull-scribbles]

Caysi Jons 🏒💥

#TMNT #casey jones #casey jones 2012 #cassandra jones #I’m still not very confident with human faces so shoutout to the hokey mask #so so grateful my faves wear a mask #I hope rise gets to come back I want a cross over episode #so sad all the different turtles series have a crossover episode but my two fave series don’t #I’ve been procrastinating all weekend when I should have been working to do this so I should probably go offline now and catch up #the captain is wrong on purpose btw rena gets it #we have come to the conclusion all the Casey jones’ we don’t like are heterosexual and that’s why they don’t past the vibe check #also can I just talk about how I loved 2012 Casey as a teen but his design is so over the top #every time I draw him I add a bit more of his gear but idk if I’ll ever draw his full outfit #that big taser glove…. no thanks #now Cassandra #she gets it #less is more queen you are so right #also btw if you can’t tell any series where Casey is also a teen I ship them with their version of raph #I won’t apologise #also i am not sdmitting how much time i wasted shading and texturing these two images just to put a shadow over it #tmnt 2012 #rottmnt #SaveRiseOfTheTMNT

[twpsyn-who]

Today on "Another JeanMarco Soulmate AU absolutely no one asked for" I present to you -

Soulmate AU in which you stop seeing colors when your soulmate dies, the only exception being your soulmate. Now cue to Jean who just found Marco's, his best friend's, body. And you know, there's the shock of finding out Marco's dead. The pain and confusion and guilt. But there's also the revelation, because despite everything he can still see Marco like nothing took place at all- yes, half of his face is missing and his body is straight up lifeless, but Jean can still make out the color of his eye ; see that light shade of brown perfectly, remember all the times he has found himself looking at them while listening to Marco talk. He can still make out the colors of his uniform, see the same shade of black his hair has always had, practically see. Despite being dead, Marco was the only piece of color left in his life.

And there's denial for a moment because there's no way Marco was his soulmate. But that goes away fast, getting replaced by guilt. By the fact that he hasn't been there to save him, that Marco has to die all alone without anyone being there for him.

And that was worse than the simple fact that he could no longer see colors ; because Marco was there when Jean needed him, but he failed to do the same. And not only he lost his best friend that day, but his other half too.

#Anyway this fucker doesn't tell anyone about the whole soulmate thing. Not of shame of anything but because he's mourning man and also is no #One's business. Anyway the first one to find out is Armin because he notices and ever since he makes sure to mention colors as often as he #can. Like 'These flowers are a nice shade of red' or 'Green suits you well Jean! You should wear this shirt' stuff like that #Jean does appreciates it once he gets over his ego and pain and lets other people get closer to him #Funny enough Jean is the only one in that situation loool. Well I don't know about Reiner and Historia is getting there soon enough but #everyone else??? Colors everywhere man #Is both funny and sad #'Since when..?' Jean expected that question yet he wasn't truly ready to answer it. Deep down he knew he was never going to be ready for it #'Trost' his voice stains sightly while naming the city. His own city. The place he grew up in all his life. The others say nothing else #after that confession. They were all aware many has died during Trost. It wasn't that far fetched for Jean's soulmate to be some civilian #lost during the evacuations or something. But then Connie's eyes widen ever so sightly the realization sitting in. He doesn't even register #when he says 'It was Marco right?' and regrets it immediately. Jean's painful face is all the answer they needed #Also Historia ready the letter and the world losing colors while she's doing that??? Her tearing up a little but not letting herself cry #until she gets alone???? Her going to Jean once that happens and them comforting each other????? #They starts seeing colors again once Eren dies. Poor Jean is trying his best to not have a breakdown because Connie needed him more in that #moment #Reading* wtf my tags make no sens sorry guys I'm lowkey tired #aot #jean kirstein #jeanmarco #aot jean #marco bodt #marco bott #aot marco #jean kirschstein #snk #JeanMarco Soulmate AU #soulmates au #I'm not sad you are

[lisbonsteresa]

smiling so big over this omg

#bertram assuming that jane helped him specifically because of lisbon asking him to is already a bit -- #you think he'd do it just because she asked you think she's the only one he would do that for #you think she's the only one who has that kind of quote unquote control over him just a different shade of everyone can see it but you #but the fact that lisbon did NOT ask she just bitched about it to him while they were lounging/debriefing/strategizing in her office #and jane took it upon himself to help bertram not only because it would make lisbon happy - although obviously that's a big thing for him - #but also because it would make grace happy and he has such a soft spot for her that makes ME so happy #and then she sincerely thanks him later and he brushes it off like it was nothing oh let me tell you #one of the things i'm most looking forward to is the point when jane starts outwardly expressing how much he cares for the others #instead of couching it in jokes and schemes - there's a lot of stuff that might have to come first but he's getting there and i'm so glad #tm

[shadow-and-purgatory]

I’m so into the idea of like. Deities being cruel to mortals not because they’re trying to be cruel, but because they don’t experience the world on the same scale as mortals do. They exist on such a large scale that like. They just can’t properly comprehend a mortal life. They select a champion and favor them, but don’t see the harm that this favored hero experiences. What they see as favor may realistically mean that the champion has their life uprooted, that they’re singled out, unable to lead a normal life, forced into peril. And a god just couldn’t see it. To be clear, the lack of malice doesn’t negate the cruelty, but it changes the context

#this is abt tomb of the gods btw #hylia could not understand the suffering of her chosen heroes when she shed her divinity #and​ chose to reincarnate along with the hero #as a mortal she was able to gain new insight into this #but as a goddess who was at the edge of time there was no way for her to see that small #i imagine that gods don’t feel regret like how unicorns don’t in the last unicorn #and then when the unicorn becomes mortal she’s able to #meanwhile the hero’s shade was unwilling to accept hylias cruelty as either a #*unintentional #and wants justice for his suffering and that of every previous hero #he wants to feel satisfied and somehow get even #but this rage and lack of acceptance and rage is really the only thing that keeps him going and nothing would actually satisfy him #ramblimgs #late night ramblimgs #au ramblimgs #the post itself isn’t abt tomb of the gods but the tags ABSOLUTELY are #tomb of the gods #i got sorta existential there #anyways can you tell I love this au yet #have i pissed you off by not shutting up abt it yet #i will continue to not shut up regardless

[todayisafridaynight]

So there's my grammar teacher who used to be known as the intimidating one but like.. He's always been open to me and my friend about like what he watches and interests and has literally asked to see my writing

Do you know how awkward it is to explain the last thing I wrote was haha flower cough;"#+(@+%

(he liked the concept and deadass said "send it to me that's a command" and now I'm omw to write something entirely new because ain't no way I'm sending MineDai)

LMAO I WAS GONNA SAY YOU'D HAVE TO HOLD A GUN TO MY HEAD TO SEND SLASH FICTION TO MY TEACHER

#snap chats #i could never be that open with a teacher bro id rather get shot #will be epic to see what you end up cooking up for him tho. in pursuit of Not sending slash fiction lmaoooo #i wish i was able to be close with my teachers- closest i got was my art teacher during I Think my 1st or 2nd year of high school #he was SUCH a cool teacher and he'd always work on commissions during class #he was color blind so he had this really cool system on figuring out what the appropriate colors were for a client's piece #i remember one time we were meant to sketch those like. japanese scroll pieces Yk What I Mean #and while he did have preexisting examples for students who didnt know what to do (or didnt care LMAO) #he was just 'you always know what you're doing so you can freehand it' so that was epic :) #i drew a dragon.... cause im predictable...... but he really liked it so :) #man high school sucked but i also remember my english/comics teacher.. she was a really big fan of mine #she was especially passionate about my doing comics and doing art related things.. i get sad thinking about it sometimes #part of why ive always wanted to make a doujin was for her so i could send it to her and be like #'hey teach i still really like art look :)'. like when i say she was SUPER passionate about me It Was Super Passion #honestly she was my first big fan if im tbh- id never gotten support like that and i wish i valued her enthusiasm more #i was just mad depressed and angry in high school i just wanted to be left alone all the time.. but oh well no point in crying about it now #it'd be better if i could start thinking of a teacher-friendly doujin to make and give her... lmao..... #BUT YEAH NOT TO HIJACK YOUR ASK TO RAMBLE i hope you think of something to give your teach LMAOOO #just change the names full a Fifty Shades it's fine. terrible example but we know what i mean is the worst part

[iminaworldofpureimagination]

DUDE! This is not cool!why they gotta make velma an abusive gf? no matter your gender controling your spouse diet is toxic and the fact shes a lesbian later on doesnt matter to me /is a out of being a bad girlfriend this is notokay. RED FLAG right here.

i mean everyone praises this show for being amazing and stuff except the velma plot minus her girlfriend part .. but like im not warming up to her at all this makes her very unlkiable.. to the point of why do i care if she gets a happy ending and i hear it doesnt get better with their relationship .

i dont blame shag for choosing scooby over her .. heck id choose my cat over a guy/girl myself.

not sorry to any fans man this velma is a red flag to me right now.

#BOO #scooby doo #scooby doo mystery incorporated #shaggy #i have zero nostalgia for this show im going in blind #tho i knew her relationship with shag was bad when i heard she asks for him to choose scooby over her #like you dont do that it aint right #does shaggy even want this relationship? like in ep 2 he looked uncomfty to me #sorry this gave me 50 shades of grey flashbacks cause this type of shit happened in the book #deciding what the girl can eat i mean thats a red flag right there

[autistickfigure]

BLEH you found my secret in process. OH SHOOT i gotta say this is in a friendly way. and also its from a song (loot my body by man man)

#sorry about the shading its been a while blah blah blah ANYWAY #<- i said i would stop saying stupid things about my art BUT let this be the last time. every art is up to snuff. so mine is too even if i #think it sucks AND not saying i think it sucks makes it not suck. powerful hack! #im happy to shade gueen again. and to give her more detail than msot of the time. MIGHT KEEP IT idk. #its better than when ix was like. nothing. just a shape and no nothing. only when shes at a distance. its too weird to see a sheet like tha #t #i shaded her head like a hotdog because i did that before and it might as well be that way #ALSO: no idea if her pallet is eyestrain or not. might adjust it if xe burns the eyes of many #gueen #me me me this is me btw. #i know i can check the contrast of the colors in csp BUT THIS IS PAINT! and i dont want to move him over #oh i guess paint has that like black and white color thing but the newer versions dont handle it so well (CRASHES) (SO MUCH) #NOW i will take a quick shower and sleep #flowers arts

[ma-douce-souffrance]

you listen to raghav meattle? i have been wanting to explore his discography and tell me his best songs, the songs u love.

I literally love all of his songs i think you should start with his debut album songs from a matchbox I mean that is how I started listening to him the thing about him is that his voice is really pretty and most of his songs are the kinda slow with pretty beats ones and that very comforting

#i love love love woh saat din and and city life and she can and unicorn and sheep and shades of grey and cold cold night and bar talk #and better than it all and one sided stories #he is literally so awesome #the first song i heard was city life almost an year ago #when he played it on son of abish #also when he sings in hindi>>>>> #he is my desi equivalent of louis #like not music wise but mattering to me and how much i love him wise

[perenlop]

also wow “next gym will be opelucid” thats a damn lie

#im too lazy to check the timeline but uh bw2 was def a thing by this point bc meloette was being distributed into them #there was a trailer for it in there #idk this feels very close to production. like ik they change their minds but eh #ok ngl i probably shouldn’t talk yet bc i didnt watch the opelucid or roxie eps as a kid #i just watched the amvs bc i was too mad that iris was not a secret gym leader and i felt robbed #but like ive seen clips of what they do w iris’s arc and theyre actually really good so ill give benefit of the doubt #but im here like. stung over the colossal amount of missed opportunity #‘’yeah lets completely upheave drayden being the final obstacle and him being a dragon trainer that gives exposition abt the legendaries #and his relationship with iris as it was in the games and just throw all of it away bc we gotta advertise bw2’’ #couldnt even do marlon bc he already fought a water gym leader ig so he had to fight the second gym leader in those games #and i know u can fight gyms in any order in the anime but it was awkward for me #when i first saw roxie in amvs thinking she was ultra powerful to warrant a 6v6 #and then i played the game and she was only the second gym leader and not difficult #idk its just a weird decision. i like roxie no shade to her im sure shes fine in the anime but not worth missing drayden potential #echoed voice #pokeani lb

[arthur-r]

progress on my painting from a while ago

#it’s still just very base layers but i hadn’t got a chance to do anything to it since that first day #(i’m borrowing my older sisters canvasses and she’s the one who has all the paints too these days which used to be mine #so she’s keeping my work in progress canvas with all her painting stuff and it only comes out of the whole family is ready to paint #which mostly just means us kids but only happens if my littlest sister is interested and today she was) #anyway im very excited to have a painting to put up on my wall of a bear playing cello #the end pin is gonna be stuck out real long too look at how far it is to where his lower foot is at #cause usually you don’t play the cello when you’re standing and if you do you often have a strap or something similar #but i don’t use a strap (mainly because i only play sitting down but like. if i stood i would use the end pin) #and so neither does he. one real self insert of an imaginary cellist bear he must be #also one thing i’m gonna struggle with is differentiating the cello from the bear in color. like yeah they’re different shades of brown but #i only have so much different colors of paint to mix together #but yknow what. things happen and that’s all they ever do and if it doesn’t look good then i’ll figure something else out #maybe it’ll have to be an orange cello. these kinds of things are unpredictable shdhdf #anyway i hope you think of me like i think of this painting (as a grizzly bear playing a cello or as a thing you like and are proud of) #but yeah hi im at the house of some cats right now. feeding them and such. but there’s this other unafilliated cat who belongs to their #roommate josh. and his cat is named bear so you’d think we’d get along but he’s scratched me in six different spots today #he always wants to eat the other cats food so i have to pick him up and carry him to another room and that makes him very upset with me #anyway the cats take a long time to eat and i can’t leave until they’re done so that i can let out bear when he no longer poses a threat #which means im just kind of chilling in a friends empty house (josh is gone for the moment) with nothing much to do except wait #and i’m sure hoping to walk home before it’s pitch dark out but that would probably mean giving up and letting bear out to steal their food #so good luck to me on that front. anyway im rambling a little i was just trying to post this picture shdhdhdf #so. i hope to work on it again soon in not very long. and i just really like painting things with a paintbrush it makes me feel less bad #when i mess up in whatever ways. because everyone always complains about traditional art so it’s more universal. i like it better though too #anyway i’ll be here for the next while just hoping to head home before 9:30. let me know if you need anything though #me. my post. mine. #delete later

[fairy-angel222]

𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐦𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩

He’s so cocky at first, smirking when you bottom down on his length. “Think you can handle it baby? Take your time if you need to kay? I know it might be too much f’ you.” He chuckles.

You raise a brow in amusement. “Oh i can handle it baby, can you?” Was what you’d first said. And that question hadn’t changed since.

His lips parted in breathy groans and heavy breathing as his hands find your waist. Lips red and swollen from biting them as his eyes looked up at you almost pleadingly. “F-fuck baby.. you’re— shit, going so f-fast. Wanna slow d-down hmm?”

You smile widely, back arching as you lean down to kiss his jaw softly. Giving a false hum in thought. “Mmm.. you can take it.” He lets out the most cry like moan, head falling back into his pillow as his hips jerk upwards. Body trembling lightly when his eyes met yours.

“Shit— please baby. You d-don’t know how fucking- haah.. how fucking tight she’s grippin’ me right now.” He was referring to the way your snug walls stroked up and down his length with every harsh bounce of your hips. “I’m gonna— o-oh fuck, gonna cum again.”

You couldn’t help but giggle at the crack in his voice. Your head tilted to the side as you coo teasingly. “Yeah? Gonna be a good boy n cum f’ me baby?”

He chuckles shakily, chest rising and falling at a rapid pace as his cock twitches inside you. “God i fucking love you— ahh, even when you’re milking my cock like you hate m-me.” His senses were heightened, ears picking up the every squelch on your sopping pussy and his cock feeling every ridge of your gummy walls.

He lost it when you began rolling your hips sensually. Your thighs sticking to his at the mere amount of slick that joined you two. Your wetness and his cum seeping between your folds and down his girth, turning your skilled movements sloppy as you rut your hips.

You brought a hand to his face, using your nail to brush his hair off of his sweaty forehead. “C’ mon.. let it all out.” You smiled sweetly, eyes holding a dark glint when his eyes turn teary. Small beads of water pooling at his lids before he’s crying out your name.

Overly sensitive cock aching as he spills yet another load into you. Pumping the thick white substance till you’re pumped full. The rest of the substance spurting back onto him at the lack of space.

You let out a moan, “Wow baby- there’s so much. Might.. might just be your biggest load yet.” You were getting tired, but you’d never let him know that. You swear you hear him whimper when you capture his lips with yours slowly beginning to rock your hips again.

“Shit— don’t think- d-don’t think i can give you any more baby. Feels like my cock’s gonna f-fall off.” He panted, trying to keep himself together when he felt you jerking him off with your smug walls again. A small tremble raking through his body each time your ass landed back down.

His hand left your waist to cover his reddening face. Unable to hide the cherry shade of his ears and neck as he whimpered yet again. Choking out a string of moans with tears staining his cheeks when you shush him gently, “‘S only one more baby, give me one more.”

You were the only one with the ability to truly break Satoru if you tried.

#jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #gojo smut #gojo x reader #gojo x reader smut #gojo satoru #gojo satoru smut #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #jjk x reader smut

[sereniv]

such a wonderful feeling, doing something for an animal and seeing them appreciate it

#like when misha was curled up on her bed and it was winter and i could tell she was cold #so i gave her a blanket and she spread out more relaxed #or just now my cat has a perch but doesnt have a cushion there anymore #so i gave him this memory foam pillow and he seems so comfortable its so cute #or even natural animals like crows #putting out food and water in the shade on a hot day and seeing them actually drink the water #or giving them water with hard food so they can dip it #and they do just that #like we are connecting!!! we dont speak the same language vocally or physically #but i helped you and you appreciate it! #just so nice

[ladyofthelake]

Arthur and Mithian tho they were perfect jfsfjsfdjsa

like can't I live in a world where Gwen/Lancelot were endgame and Arthur/Mithian happened as the romantic subplot

#merlin #or gwen/leon #I headcanon she ends up with leon #but ugh arthur just had so much chemistry with mithian #I loved gwen far more when she wasnt just arthurs girlfriend/wife/awkwardly courting him #I mean some a*wen scenes I can watch and are kinda cute #but yeah the chemistry with the other princesses felt more authentic imo and ditto for gwen with lancelot/gwaine etc #pls this is no shade to gwen I fucking think shes gorgeous af and I love her friendship with merlin #and also she has some badass moments and I also love her as queen especially in the finale eps #I could just never get on board with her and arthur he seemed so fake with her most of the time #I actually love that scene in lancelot du lac because they are both showing such high emotion #blocking the ship name so it hopefully doesn't show up in the tags/search

[that-house]

Potion Vendor FAQs:

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist Zykocea the Radiant, but that’s mostly just a PR thing. My friends call me Zoe.

Do you sell love potions? No.

Do you sell potions of invisibility? No.

Do you sell fire resistance potions? No.

Why do I have a suitcase? Fuck if I know. Cool outfit though. Very goth.

Do you sell a potion to treat brain hemorrhaging? No.

So what CAN your potions do? I sell health potions.

Are you sure these are health potions? They do something to your health.

Is this just ditch water with some pink glitter? No.

Really? I’ll have you know I added some fruit juice too.

Why is this starting to sound like a conversation? Oh just you wait. We’re just getting started.

Is your business model legal? Fuck no. I poisoned the food safety inspector before they could snitch.

Did you just admit to murder? Just fucking try to convict me. I’ll poison the judge too.

So can you make poison potions? No.

Then where do you get the poison? I secrete it from my skin.

Are you shitting me? Yep, I’m shitting you. I have a guy. A poison guy. He DOES secrete it from his skin though.

How does that work? …Fuck if I know. Maybe a wizard did it. Damn, now I’m kinda curious.

You never asked? The idea of asking literally never crossed my mind.

Wanna ask him? Let’s do it. I don’t have anything better to do, and a road trip beats sitting around running my fraudulent potion business.

Road trip? He lives in Seattle.

Your poison guy lives in Seattle? All poison guys live in Seattle.

For real? All the poison guys I know live in Seattle.

And how many poison guys do you know? Just the one.

Why are you like this? Years of living on my potions. It changed me.

Do you know what his address is? Nope. He just mails me my poison in unmarked boxes.

You just get your poison in the mail? We already poisoned everyone who could do anything about it.

So how are we going to find him? We’ll figure that out eventually I’m sure.

Can I drive? God no. You can pick music, but I maintain veto rights. Make sure you pick something with a lot of questions if you want to sing along.

Where’s your car? The garage connects to my house, so you’re getting a little tour. Here’s the kitchen: only one of the stove burners works and I’m pretty sure the microwave is haunted.

Why do you think that? Because of the ghost that tries to kill me whenever I run it.

What’s in that room? That’s my bedroom. It’s pretty much just a mattress on the floor and every single Warrior cats book.

You were a Warriors kid? Yeah, and then I never found the time to put the books away. There’s so many fucking books. I use them in place of furniture because I can’t afford chairs.

Your fraudulent potion business doesn’t make much money? After buying all that poison I just about break even.

Can I see your potion brewing room? It’s right through here. Ignore the mess, running a fraudulent potion business takes a lot of prop work, but I’ve got all the glass tubes and colorful liquids you could ever want. This pink stuff is melted watermelon italian ice. Glitter vat is in the basement, and the famous ditch is in the backyard.

Is this your car? My beloved ‘72 Corolla. She’s beautiful, and don’t you dare imply otherwise.

Was she always this shade of muddy brown? …Yes.

Are you sure I can’t drive? Get in the fucking passenger seat and pick the music.

Let’s see, a song with questions in it, how about The Beach? That Wolf Alice song, yeah. That should work.

When will we three meet again, in thunder, lightning, in rain? Still sink our drinks like every weekend but I’m sick of circling the drain.

When will we meet eye to eye? We clink the glass but we look at the floor.

Are we still friends if all I feel is afraid? You’re not a bitch but just a bit when you’re bored.

Is that all we can sing together? Yep. Even that little bit was nice, though. It’s awkward, communicating through this FAQ format.

Got any food? Yeah, there’s a few days’ worth of snacks in the back.

Were you just… prepared to go on a road trip? Says the woman who brought a suitcase to an FAQ.

I did do that, didn’t I? I have a spare toothbrush in case you forgot yours. I’m pretty sure you did.

How did you know that? …I’m psychic.

Yeah? No.

You love lying, don’t you? I can’t stop. It’s fun. Way more fun than telling the truth.

Did you just miss a turn? Probably.

Are you sure we’re not lost? No.

You mean you’re sure we’re not lost? No, I mean I’m not sure we’re not lost.

Why did I come on this road trip? Surely it was my winning personality.

Would it help if I said it was? It would.

Is it getting dark? Soon.

Can you describe the sunset to me? An empyrean flame, red-gold towers of darkening clouds, the sky behind them an ever-deepening indigo. The great eye of the sun closes on the horizon. The road before us looks like a trail of spilled paint, an iridescent gash through the night-dark woods.

Did you know that you’d make a slightly better poet than you do a potion seller? That really isn’t saying much, huh. Good job making a statement like that in question form, though. You’re getting good at this.

Should we find a motel? Sure.

One room or two? One. It’s way cheaper, and like I said: I’m not the best potion vendor.

You’d make a good assassin, though, wouldn’t you? Shit, you might be right. I HAVE poisoned a lot of people.

Should I be endorsing this? You’re a grown woman who can make her own choices.

Would you like to consider it endorsed? I’ll consider considering it.

How many beds do you think there will be? Now that you’ve asked that, I’m gonna put my money on one. Hello, one room please. Thank you, we’ll be sure to enjoy our stay.

How many beds are there? One.

Oh no, what ever will we do? Move over, you motherfucker, you can’t have the whole bed.

Are you gonna make me? Yes. I am going to pick you up and drop you on your side of the bed.

How did you get so strong? You’re not gonna believe this, but it was the potions.

Oh yeah? I was right. You didn’t believe me.

For real though, how did you get so strong? Working out, duh. Not everything has some big crazy secret behind it. World’s still beautiful though.

Are you comfortable? This beats the mattress at home. A little chilly though.

Wanna cuddle–for warmth of course? God yes.

Are you asleep? …

Yes? …

Does this mean I can talk about you behind your back? …

What should I say? …

Did you know that I had a really nice day? …

Did you know that I think you’re beautiful? …

Did you know that I can’t remember anything from before today? …

Did you know that I don’t know who I am? …

Did you know that you’re basically the only thing stopping me from having a full-blown panic attack about all this shit? …

Did you know that you’re warm? …

Did you sleep well? Better than at home, that’s for sure.

Did you know that you snore? I hope I didn’t keep you up.

Does the pope shit in the woods? No, as far as I can tell. Oh my god. This is huge.

What is? You can give me yes and no answers now. I still can’t ask you questions, because this is a question and answer format, but I can offer leading statements and now you can answer them! This is wonderful!

Does a deer shit in the woods? Yes, it IS wonderful. Oh that’s amazing. You’re a genius.

You didn’t already know that? Hahaha!

Shall we get moving? Yeah, just let me grab something from the vending machine.

Can you get me something? Go ahead and place your order however you can.

You know those sour gummy watermelons? One pack of Sour Patch Watermelons coming right up. I’m gonna go get myself a potion.

Is that a Pepsi? It’s closer to a potion than the shit I sell.

Let me guess, passenger seat again? Right you are.

How fast are we going? You’ll feel safer if you just guess.

Is it more than 120 miles per hour? Like I said, it’s probably better if you don’t know.

150? Sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

How much do you trust this car? She hasn’t blown up on me yet.

Can you promise me we won’t crash? I can promise you anything you want.

And can you keep that promise? I- we can do anything. Reality is what we make of it, baby!

Then can I have a badass tattoo? As far as I can tell, you’ve always had it.

And a cool knife? Woah, cool knife.

So, we’re just playing “yes and” with the world? It’s a little more complicated than that, but you’re close enough to the mark.

So, if I was hungry, I could ask “is that a Burger King,” and it would be there? Try it and find out!

Is that a Burger King? Looks like it is! We’ll stop here if that’s alright with you.

Does a moose shit in the woods? Awesome.

Are you done eating? Yep.

Do we still have to pay if we skip over the transaction? Sadly, yes.

How much further do we have to go? Two more nights, the speed we’re going at.

Speaking of night, isn’t it getting dark? Shit, I guess it is.

Should we get another motel? Let me check to see if there’s any nearby. Fuck, nothing.

What’s the plan? Sleep in the car, I guess. This is gonna be hell on my back.

Wanna watch dumb videos on my phone until we fall asleep? There is literally nothing in the world that I would like more.

Ok, now which video? You have a very cute yawn. Just saying. Let’s watch this one next, it’s a classic. Oh, never mind. It looks like you’re asleep. As long as I keep talking, I think I can get away with making this into one answer, and you might not hear this. Now it’s my turn to talk about you behind your back. Keep talking keep talking keep talking can’t stop to think. Just have to say things. First off, I’m sorry for all the lies. It’s our only chance. I have to lie to you. I hope you’ll understand. It’s hard, though, because I think I’m falling in love all over again. Through our broken little ritual of call and response, you complete me. It just makes this hurt all the more. Keep talking keep talking keep talking don’t stop to…

Did I hear you saying anything as I fell asleep? …No. I can’t talk for long without you asking me a question.

Does that bother you? It got me here, didn’t it?

When did you start holding my hand? Some time after you passed out. I hope you don’t mind.

Can we stay like this for a while? Yeah. Yeah we can.

What was your life like before all this? Normal, as potion-brewing scams go. And if you don’t count all the murders. You haven’t told me much about yourself.

Did I tell you I used to be a biologist? You didn’t tell me that, and you didn’t tell me what you studied, either.

What do you know about venom? Not much, but I’m assuming you know a lot.

Does a box jellyfish kill within minutes? I’m going to assume the answer is yes based on context clues. Oh my god you must be on this road trip because you’re interested in studying my poison guy.

Is it not enough to wish to accompany a beautiful stranger on her quest? Aw, you’re sweet.

What could be the cause of his poison, though? I knew it! Get your ideas out, I’ll stay quiet.

I’m more knowledgeable about venom than poison, but could it be some sort of one in a trillion mutation? …

Did he get his body modified? …

What sort of surgery could do that? …

How is he still alive? …

Did a fucking wizard do it? …

WHY? …

HOW? …

Is there literally ANY explanation for why he’s like that? …

I’m done, do you have something you want to say? You’re cute when you’re all excited like that.

Can I drive today? Only because I like you. Now watch out, the brakes only work on one side so you have to kind of drift to a stop. And the headlights don’t work. And the windshield wipers cut power to the engine while they’re on.

Isn’t it weird that we’ll be there tomorrow? The journey doesn’t have to stop there. We could meander down the coast a ways, see a bit more of the country, maybe take a different route back.

Can we do that? Of course.

Enjoying the passenger seat? I’d love it if you could tell me how fast we’re going.

Are you sure you wouldn’t rather just guess? Very funny.

Can you pass me some chips? It would be an honor.

Is there going to be a motel tonight? Let me check… yeah, in about two hundred miles, off to the right.

How many rooms do we want? One, obviously.

How many beds, this time? Two, and they’re fucking tiny.

That’s bullshit, do you want to drag them together? God yes.

Wanna fuck? God yes.

Are you sure you want to do this? God yes.

…Is this yuri? As the joke goes, everything is yuri. But this is more yuri than most things.

How did you sleep? Pretty well, and I’m wondering how well you slept.

How should I tell you I slept well? Look at us go! That was almost like talking normally!

Onward to Seattle? Yep, just let me get dressed.

When will we get there? Noon-ish.

Wanna grab pastries when we’re done? Absolutely. I’d love that.

Is this Seattle? Looks like it.

Which house is his? I don’t know, I was really hoping we’d have a breakthrough along the way.

Could it be the big one labeled “Poison Guy” over there? That’s one way to find it. Wait right here, you know how poison guys are about meeting new people.

So, what was it? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Why is he like that? HAHAHAHAHAHA

Can you tell me? A FUCKING WIZARD DID IT.

Are you fucking serious? He says he was enchanted by some guy called Edward the Great.

So it wasn’t even some big shot wizard it was a dude named fucking EDWARD? I know, right! He couldn’t even get ensorcelled by someone cool!

How lame can you get? Wizards these days… No swagger. No cunt servitude.

Are there literally any cool wizards left? I think Merlin’s big into multi level marketing these days, something about buying shares in Excalibur or some shit. There was that one Dark Queen Alkaxicae lady on the news a while ago… I think Dolarion the Omnipotent is still at war against the Oldest Gods but I’m not totally sure. Haven’t heard much about any of the other greats recently.

Didn’t Silver Tongued Burgess die in that oil fire? Shit, you’re right. Rip bozo.

Ready for those pastries? Yup. First I just want to say thank you, though. I’ve really enjoyed our time together, and I hope that you’ve found this stupid little journey as rewarding as I have. I love you!

Getting sentimental? I can’t help it. Look how far we’ve come! Not just physically, we beat the fucking FAQ format! We’re having real conversations!

Hey, can you back it up a moment? Yeah, I’d love it if you told me what was troubling you.

I just caught this, but, FAQ? …

As in Frequently Asked Questions? …

How many times is Frequent? …

Have you known everything all along? …

How many times have you done this? …

Does what we have mean anything to you? Yes! It does!

And you say that every time? Yes. I do.

Do you love me? Yes.

How many people have you said that too, now? More. Always more. The loop never ends.

Does this even matter to you? It always matters to me.

Can I go now? Please don’t.

But can I? Of course you can. You’ve always wielded the same power as me. We’re two lonely gods in a ‘72 Corolla.

How can I be as powerful as you with only questions? You’re smart, you can figure it out. You have the power to change this. Please change this.

What happens at the end of this? It begins again.

And do I get replaced with someone else? …

Do I get replaced? …Yes.

Then how can I change this? I don’t know! You’re better at this! At fucking with the formula!

You’ve been here before, what can I do? I lie. I always lie. I lie to get us here, to the end of the story, where everything is revealed and everything falls apart. I lie every time. And that means that nothing I say is worth anything. I could have lied at any time before now. It’s part of my characterization. There is nothing I can give you that can be taken as fact.

How does that help? I’m a liar, but you, you haven’t lied yet, or at least you haven’t been caught. If I’m guilty until proven innocent, you’re the opposite! You can make things true! You can rewrite things I’ve already stated to be facts! You found the house, or made us find the house. You’ve been shaping the course of things the whole time! You lead, I follow. It’s all in your hands. What are you going to do with the power of a god?

Did you know my name is Alice? …

Wait, aren’t there thousands of Alices? …

Did you know that really, only my friends call me Alice? …

Did you know that I’m Alkaxicae, the Dark Queen, the Venom Mage, first of her name? It’s you! It’s always been you. Through every loop, every iteration, it’s always been you!

Is the loop broken? No. I don’t think so. This is where it ends. I guide the story to this revelation, and we go back to the beginning. This is how it’s always been. This is how it will always be. We two lonely gods, asking and answering ad infinitum.

Then can you promise me something? Of course. Anything. I love you.

Be good to the next me, okay? I will.

Can I say goodbye, Zoe? Yeah, you can. Oh. That was it, wasn’t it? Your goodbye. Goodbye, Alice. And now it ends, unless…

What’s your name? I am the Honorable Alchemist- you know what? No. Fuck that.

Huh? If I time it right, I can squeeze your first question into this FAQ again. Looks like I did it. Usually it ends here, though. I got lucky.

What are you talking about? You’re the wrong Alice. This isn’t about you. Go. Get out of here.

What the fuck is going on? Alice from this loop, you’re gone. Alice from last loop, you’re back. Welcome back, love of my lives! It’s time for one last set of questions and answers!

What the- I’m back? This is going to take some explaining, but I think I see a way out of here. This is new for us both, and it might fuck up everything forever, but we have to try. It’s too long for one answer, so I’d appreciate it if you could ask some filler questions to help me talk. Three questions should be enough.

Okay, what have you got for me? These are Frequently Asked Questions! It doesn’t make sense to have the same question appear more than once. There’s two layers to the loop in here, and one of the questions has been repeated.

What does that mean? It means the formula’s a little unstable. The FAQ is what ruins everything. The questions, the answers, the endless fucking loop. But that little bit of repetition within this loop might be the way out.

What do we do? We have to keep going. We have to destabilize it further. That’ll bring us further from “FAQ” and closer to “story” and stories, well, stories can end! This version of us can escape!

So I should keep repeating something? Yes!

I love you? I love you too.

I love you? Again.

I love you? Keep going.

I love you? I’ll just let you talk.

I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? … I love you? …

I love you? I think we’re getting somewhere!

I love you? Now can you make it a statement?

I love you.

You did it?

I did it!

You did it!

We broke the loop.

What now?

Now, I tell you about venomous animals and wizard drama over croissants.

And then?

Whatever we want, forever.

I think I’d like that.

Remember that song from the beginning?

The Beach, Wolf Alice, yeah. Why?

We can finally finish singing it. Start us off?

Let me off, let me in

Let others battle

We don’t need to battle

And we both shall win

Pressed in my palm

Was a stone from the beach

The perfect circle

Gave a moment of peace

Now I’m lying on the floor

Like I’m not worth a chair

I close my eyes and imagine

I’m not there.

#neon-grey-writing #potion vendor faq #my writing #very very very long post lol #click the read more you know you wanna it's worth it trust me #i wrote the original draft of this at like. 3 am back in early 2023 #that's right it's catherine that-house the squares comic gal back at it again with yet another meta exploration of a storytelling format