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utilitycaster · 6 months

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I feel like a lot of people are projecting their own feelings towards what Taliesin did onto the cast as they seemed to me more stressed than necessarily angry at Taliesin but I don't actually play DnD so I thought I might ask you if what Taliesin did really was extreme enough to have actually made the cast as other playerd mad. I've just seen the claim that the cast is mad at x before, with Sam having scanlan leave or Bowlgate or Liam handing over the beacon and then the cast weren't actually mad at all.

Hi anon,

So just a blanket statement for the various questions I have received: until like, Wednesday, today was supposed to be a work from home day, as I often try to make my Fridays; I was pulled in to help an injured coworker briefly this morning, which I understand and which was relatively painless and would have left me free to work from home after 10 am, which is entirely reasonable. I then was sent to a last minute additional site and it turned out they were completely unprepared; this wasted about two and a half hours of my time and I'm now, understandably, extremely annoyed. This may bleed into my responses, though by and large I'm going to specify if I'm annoyed at you or not. Anyway, anon, I'm not annoyed at you at all and any "you" I say below is addressed to the fandom on the whole; this is a valid question.

Yeah the cast is mad. Yeah that's valid; as Matt pointed out there were extensive warnings specifically indicating that this would be a bad idea for Ashton to do. The cast is attached to each other's characters! They were, in fact, mad about Scanlan leaving and Tary showing up, because they care about Scanlan and that was an intense scene; Liam genuinely thought Sam was leaving the show. They were mad about this! They are also, probably going to get over it pretty quickly, or be "mad" about it in the way that your friends still roast you in the group chat over a typo years later. This isn't really even a D&D thing other than that Matt had Evontra'vir and Allura repeatedly say "you might fucking shatter." It's an anger born of concern that Ashton might have been permanently killed. But they weren't, and even if they were, it's fine. (The cast was not remotely mad about bowlgate though; see following paragraph.)

Which brings me to my next point. I have really only checked the blogs of people I follow because of aforementioned work problems and have barely glanced at the tag, and this is in conversation not just with this episode and that discourse and me being pissed off over real-world personal inconveniences, but also the larger discussion of "must stories have conflict?" and the fact that all the people who until quite recently insisted that actually Bells Hells are ROCK SOLID TIGHTLY BONDED and shat repeatedly on the astute point that Bells Hells are actually very surface level pleasant and don't ever discuss their issues have done a 180 that they will never acknowledge. Anyway:

It's extremely normal to be mad at people you care about, and to have arguments with them, and in fact it's likely more unhealthy to not have disagreements and get mad ever, and some of you sound like you've never been outside or had any friends. Like really that's it in the end. Actually believing Marisha and Liam were mad at each other? Friendless behavior. It's completely fine to wonder if this anger was valid, but like, honestly, people get mad over dumb shit every day and the point is that even if it's a stupid thing for the cast to be mad at (obviously, I think it's fine), be fucking normal and recognize that friends can be mad over dumb shit or valid shit and talk through it. Like. Some of you have no conflict resolution skills because you see all forms of confrontation as inherently evil and couldn't be me. I get in fights all the time and I get out of them and it's great. I am glad I no longer live in the midwest but god I cut swathes through problems there because I had zero investment in being Minnesota Nice when I was angry. Somehow this has turned into life advice, which is not what I thought it would be, but anyway. It's okay to be mad at your friends and expressing it in the way the cast did is super normal and they will probably all go out for drinks; as a person who has never chilled once in her entire life, I think we should all chill.

#answered #Anonymous #sorry anon this got off topic #much like matt i think i'm going to go have a stiff drink in 1.5 hours #critical role spoilers

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unhonestlymirror · 4 months

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Do people realise that they don't have to agree with everything I say? because many behave like I did't write something I think about on my blog but personally came to their house and shat in their bathroom. It's not like I can drastically change their lives anyway (both with blogging and shitting in their bathroom).

"I am unfollowing you!!" - oh my god. How sad. A person whom I have never ever seen or interacted with now behaves like my husband, who's about to leave me with 3 kids and without money. How can I survive such a tragedy? No idea. I will go and cry in my Lithuanian "Keep calm and love Ukraine" pillow.

This post is dedicated to

followers with whom I enter 2024. Special thanks to my mutuals who, with saints' worthy meekness and patience, ignore my big disappointment in the world and in the mental capacity of users of this website, hidden in my random provocative statements. Although it is still a mystery to me, what could be provocative in "killing and raping Jews is bad" and "drugs are bad, especially for people who are under 18-21". Maybe I am too young to understand that.

To plus-minus 20 people whose pfps I don't remember and who unfollowed me for the said statements and left me with a never-healing wound in my heart - you should never have kids. I say this not with malice in my heart but with a sincere desire for good for the whole world.

P.S. If you still believe in this unspoken-tumblr-etiquette-bullshit that following a person (e.g. me) equals supporting everything they say, I have all the rights to call you my slave. 😘 Because not even my family supports everything I say (because surprise - we have different experiences and different beliefs, and being tolerant is not about supporting) and they will do literally anything for me, just like I will do anything for them, although my mom is a bit homophobic and my dad loves misogynistic jokes.

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colorisbyshe · 1 year

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So, my anti-Jeremy Renner post blew up and as sometimes happens when posts blow up, a bunch of TERFs got in my notes. I do a fairly systemic purge whenever this happens. I go onto each one I can find in the notes of that post and go through their blogs, blocking any other TERF I can find on their blog and going through the blogs of any URL I see multiple times so I can block all of the TERFs on their blogs. Literally blocked over 500 people, from big name blogs, to just some frequent rebloggers. ANd many, many pathetic randoms who can’t get a single note on their posts but desperately try anyways.

I have been a bit vague and flippant about this because bitching about them only ever fuels their victim complexes and often fuels their desire to engage and get attention. Me saying I don’t want TERFs engaging with that post made multiple TERFS ignore my boundaries and lack of consent, engage, and laugh about it. I know there’s no “winning” with them, so I don’t like arguing with them. It is identical to arguing with MAGA freaks--the level of delusion is impenetrable and it often only ends up traumatizing the people most hurt by them, by making them witness hatred and ignorance.

I instead try to be a positive force and just speak out in support of trans women to make where I stand clear.

But apparently I haven’t been clear enough because through this systemic weeding of my notes I have discovered multiple TERF followers, some because of the anti-Jeremy Renner post but some have been here a while. They weren’t obvious via URL or bio but going on their blogs made things clear quite quickly.

So, I just want to say it here.

I am a nonbinary woman. I am AFAB. I was born with a puss puss and I naturally grew tits with puberty. I am by every TERF’s definition “a woman” and it is with that clarified I will say--Trans women specifically have been more foundational to my understanding of gender, myself, and the world at large and my LOVE of my gender, myself, and the world at large than most other groups of people.

Trans women have done more good for me specifically and the world at large than any trans exclusive radical feminist ever has.

Reading the words and experiences of trans women has actually brought me more in harmony with the “woman” part of “nonbianry woman” and it has done so more than any fucking uterus-obsessed, menstrual blood-smeared, trauma-based one-dimensional nonsense TERFs have shat out and have forced the rest of us to witness.

Understanding transness on the whole has made me better appreciate the diversity of human experience and the boundless ways we can love each other and ourselves. It has made me dig deeper on how my life and society has shaped me and made me willing to stand up against societal expectations. I am the one who gets to define who I am. Not what I was born with. I am not a human seeking out the perfectly shaped hole to crush myself and lose myself inside. I am a million different things in vessel waiting to expand outwards and inwards at the same time, bound by fucking nothing.

Transness is beautiful. It is nuanced. It allows each person to get closer to the infinite.

Hatred of trans people in general but trans women specifically has no fucking place in my life, on my blog. I seek out liberation against all oppression and leave no woman behind in that.

I’m not going to give in to what any shit tier human being wants and wish violence upon y’all like you want. I’m not going to feed your martyrdom. I am just going to say I wish you a broader understanding of the world and deeper wells of empathy and love.

I don’t know if it’s simply a power trip y’all are on, eager to finally have a group you can punch down on, or if something truly went wrong in your lives where you have to have a fear response to someone more vulnerable than yourself. But get the fuck over it, grow up, and do better. You deserve harsher words but I will not give in and give them to you so you can lay yourselves upon the cross and weep about it.

Womanhood doesn’t benefit from this shit. Society doesn’t benefit from this shit. And frankly we’ve had enough fucking suffering without self righteous bigots making it fucking worse while pretending it’s progress.

Trans women are women. And trans women belong in “woman only” spaces more than trans-exclusive bigots ever will.

#trying to speak carefully so none of this can be weaponized against trans women #because i know some of y'all are desperate to do so

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stayfrostyordont · 2 months

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Hey 👋

Favourite fall out boy songs??

Hi!! This ask made me way too excited ngl. Throwback to when this was a fall out boy blog 💀💀💀

Also even though my username is a mashup of stay frosty royal milk tea and hold me tight or dont both of them are bottom tier fob songs imo.

That being said fob is the only band i can confidently has ZERO SKIPS so this was extremely hard but here we go

My top five fall out boy songs in no particular order:

Pavlove- i shat my fucking pants when they released this AND PLAYED IT LIVE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER TEN FUCKING YEARS LATER LIKE IT WAS MY FAVORITE SONG FOR SO LONG

I don't care- i actually care a lot and almost got this tatted on me courtesy of Pete himself

XO- absolute banger of a song, also almost got this one tatted before i came to my senses

G.I.N.A.F.S.- there is no heterosexual explanation for this song

Get busy living or get busy dying- pete screaming, petes poetry, 11/10 god i miss this era

#thank u for the ask #do you have any idea how hard this was #honorable mentions #literally every single fob song ever #fall out boy #fob #ask #personal

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livingwellnessblog · 5 months

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Manifesting Love: Mindset of Attraction | Remove a third party

In the past the law of attraction was obsessed about money and wealth, but the current obsession is actually shat is called “sp’s” (specific person) and third parties. A third party is someone who has stolen the cheater that has been placed on a pedestal and dubbed “SP”.

This mindset, of being in distress over a “third party” should be overcome. Mental unwellness will not produce good results in your life. The desparate searches for this ( it is the most searched for term on this blog, after “states”) is a STATE OF MIND. A confident person does not search for these types of things, so let’s focus on becoming more confident, and to overcome yourself, and become empowered in your life.

Building confidence:

Clarify Your Desires!

Regardless of what you are manifesting this will always be step one. Begin by gaining clarity on what you want. Most people want to feel happy, but in this confused state WHAT will create happiness is not clear. An imagined happiness from another person is obscuring the truth that we can only make ourselves happy. Seek to understand instead what makes you fulfilled, rather than “happy”. What might give you a sense of fulfilment? Meanwhile, pause and reflect on what you truly desire in a romantic relationship. Reflect* on the qualities, values, and experiences you wish to share with your life partner. This clarity serves as the foundation for your manifestation process.*Is cheating part of your hopes? Of course not. The qualities you truly seek are probable openness in communication, emotional closeness and so on.

Shift the Focus Inward:

Instead of obsessing over the “third party,” and how you have been discarded, redirect your focus inward. Understand that your outer reality is a reflection of your inner state, but do this as a means to create emotional growth, not as a means to “get someone” or as a means to self-gaslight. Rather, question why you are choosing someone who is actually rejecting you. What are your beliefs about yourself and about love that makes you opt for this instead of real love? By working on yourself and cultivating introspective qualities, you naturally become more magnetic to mutual love. Keep the focus on the inner state that you want instead, and you will become more discerning about your choices in the future. Healthy boundaries develop as a result of healthy confidence.

Embody the Desired State:

Immerse yourself in the state of being in a loving and fulfilling relationship. This means cultivating the thoughts, emotions, and beliefs that align with your desired outcome. Generate a fulfillment biased mind. Visualize yourself already in the relationship, experiencing the love and connection you desire. Live from this state as consistently as possible, feeling gratitude and joy for the love that is already yours. This is about how YOU feel, not about what “they” do. Don’t overcomplicate this, it is only an internal glimpse of the feeling of loving.

Release Attachment :

Let go of attachment to specific outcomes or timelines. Time and space is not our concern, how, when, it doesn’t matter, and everything has its appointed hour. Letting go of micromanaging is a must. Trust that God is working behind the scenes. . Surrender any doubts, fears, or limiting beliefs as they come up, and no, it is not a one and done, but it is THE most important part of your work. This gives you time to renew your zest for life, so it is a good thing that you can stop thinking about all the how’s and the why’s…You will thank yourself later. Learn how to enjoy life instead of being a miserable control freak….simply put.

Focus on Self-Improvement:

Invest in personal growth and self-improvement. Enhance your own qualities, skills, and interests. This not only boosts your confidence, which understandably might be at an all time low right now, but also expands your opportunities to meet new people who align with your desires. Yeah, you might meet someone new! Someone better, and if that is not what you want, still use this time to become a better and more fulfilled version of yourself.

Cultivate Self-Love:

Practice self-love and self-care on a daily basis. Treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and respect. Nurture your well-being through activities that bring you joy, whether it’s pursuing hobbies, spending time in nature, or engaging in nurturing practices like meditation or journaling. Take yourself out for tea, treat yourself kindly. Remember, when you love and value yourself, you naturally attract others who do the same AND when you are in a relationship next time, you will treat THEM more kindly too. Someone who is unable to be kind and empathetic towards self, usually has a hard time with empathy towards others as well…..

*The clarity part…. When it comes to manifesting love and potentially dealing with a third party in your relationship, clarifying your desires becomes even more crucial. Clarity allows you to gain a deeper understanding of how you arrived at your current situation and helps you redirect your focus towards the qualities and experiences you truly seek. Introspection is CRUCIAL. If you reconstruct what led to the situation, you will have your answer. Everyone has to do this type of reflection from time to time, regarding their own specific “problem areas”, and third party situations are no different.

Reflecting on Your Current Situation:

Stop panicking. There is nothing you can do right now, nor is there anything you should do. Just “Be still and know”. SO instead, take a moment (or days or weeks or months) to reflect on how you ended up with a third party in your relationship. Consider whether there were warning signs and red flags that you chose to overlook, and reflect on why you chose to overlook them, also consider any underlying factors that contributed to this situation, such as:

Underlying contributing factors:

a. Lack of Clarity: Perhaps you didn’t have a clear understanding of what you wanted in a romantic relationship before entering into it? Maybe you were just looking for someone to fill up some empty space? It happens, don’t worry it if that is what happened, just don’t do that again, move on and get some clarity now. Awareness is half the battle! You knew deep down inside that this wasn’t your one, and this “out-pictured” (eiypo) Since we project out, then our inner doubts manifest as rejection, so in that sense, we manifested perfectly according to our actual beliefs…. now you can get to business and manifest your soulmate instead. Let go of this person.

b. Misaligned Values: If you and your partner didn’t share aligned values or had different priorities, it could have created room for the involvement of a third party who appeared to fulfill certain needs or desires that were not being met. Yeah, it can be that simple.

c. Communication Breakdown: Ineffective communication or unresolved conflicts within the relationship might have created a gap in your emotional connection, and this is where you might get insecure. You remember that initial closeness, and you feel disconnected or distant, unable to stay emotionally connected. This can create an inner questioning, such as “do they really love me.” Reflect on any areas where communication could have been improved.

d. They just suck!: This is something that you should reckon with, too many individuals today are stuck in a perpetual dating or haf-relationship phase. Something has changed overtime, and the non committal type of people have seemingly multiplied exponentially. This is a sign of our collective inner confusion. Realize that your core values and your negative beliefs might need a total overhaul. Sometimes our beliefs need to be completely shattered in order to move forward in life in the desired direction. It is okay to give yourself a blank slate. To start over as a new person. There are also people who are out there in the world with no intention of becoming good partners, they are just there to take what they can get from you. We call the narcissists, we call them Jezebel spirits, call them what you will the bottom line is that they just suck. This experience, which I have also had, is confusing, because they don’t come outright and say that they are liars or cheaters. These types of people lie about their intention, and this creates confusion, but if you have found out they they lie then just move on quickly form this person, try to heal from the betrayal, and come back to dating when you feel ready. Don’t overlook a lie. Accept that this person is a big mistake and move on.

Shifting Your Focus:

Once you have gained clarity on the factors that led to the involvement of a third party, it’s time to shift your focus towards the qualities and experiences you desire in a romantic relationship. The same old manifesting steps still apply, so keep your mind on the satisfaction of the fulfilled happy relationship. Here are some relationship qualities to consider, but everyone is different, so what is right for me might not be right for you:

Important relationship qualities:

a. Trust and Honesty: Emphasize the importance of trust and honesty in your ideal partnership. Seek a relationship where transparency and open communication are valued, allowing for a strong foundation of trust to be built.

b. Emotional Connection: Prioritize emotional connection and compatibility. Look for a partner who understands and supports you on an emotional level, and vice versa, fostering a deep and meaningful connection.

c. Mutual Respect: Feeling respected matters for both parties in a relationship. Focus on finding a relationship where mutual respect is at the core. Choose a partner who values and respects your boundaries, opinions, and individuality and so on.

d. Shared Core Values: Consider prioritizing finding a partner who shares your core values. When both partners have aligned values, it creates a solid foundation for a strong and resilient relationship. Shared core values help ensure that you and your partner are on the same page when it comes to fundamental aspects of life, such as honesty, integrity, respect, and compassion. Being in a relationship where core values don’t align is nothing short of horrible.

e. Healthy Communication: Place importance on effective and healthy communication. How do you want to problem solve, because problems come up in real life. Do you want to be able to argue it out, or laugh it off? Think about how important this might be. Find a partner who is willing to listen, express themselves, and work through challenges together. Someone who is in it WITH you.

Keep your focus on what you WANT, rather than what has happened, this is the secret to all manifesting.

Trust in your own power to create your reality and remember that the journey of manifesting love begins within. No one to change but self! That person, they don’t hold the key to your happiness, you hold that!

Remember, you are the best coach of your own life, and I am here to empower and guide you on this transformative journey.

#manifest your dreams #law of assumption #specific person #manifest love #third party

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ventingbeec · 3 months

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State of minds and the way your body feels

So i recently realised how feelings influence so much the way you see the world around you.

Idk how to elaborate it but i want to tell an experience i had.

So when i was younger for some reason i was afraid or idk to shop. Exactly, i was anxious about shopping in supermarkets. I don’t really know why?

Maybe because i thought people are staring at me and judging me, or maybe because i was low on money?!

So i found a picture where my friend showed me she bought a cup of noodles, and i remember i really wanted to try but for some reason i never searched for it, and even the few times i went with my mom at shopping and found something i wanted i would just leave it.

So now thinking about it it sounds so pathetic but back then it was such a blockage for me to do the most basic things.

Right now i can spend hours in supermarkets, its the lamest thing ever, so why did i put that experience on a pedestal??

Another thing i used to put on pedestal when i was younger was a white pencil. I really really wanted a white pencil and i thought it was such an amazing thing, and when i bought my first one i was so happy, but then i coul afford to buy more so got a lot feon different brands to test them out and even now i have them, maybe for like 8 years?? They are around the house but i don’t care about them, they are lame, but i used to think omg such an amazing thing.

So my conclusion is that we tend to put such insignificant things on pedestal and think we can’t approach them when in real life they are lame af. But still i don’t have any wise advice to give tbh. I still want insignificant things, and i still think im not worthy having them when in reality they are probably very approachable, how to stop this?

So for example, i really want to be tall, like 5’7, can i really do this? probably? do i know how to? maybe idk? is there anything that’s stopping me? most certainly.

So because this is my vent blog anyways, i will talk nonsense.

1. I want to be tall because i want to or because others judge me cus im short?

I will enumerate some moments people judged my height.

1. My mom

so my mom always tells me i would be more beautiful if i was taller

when i was younger she would tell me to work out to grow taller

she pushed me to do a lot of things to grow taller

she always judge other short women calling them names so maybe i feel she thinks the same about me

do i want to be tall just to make my mom happy? i want this for her? i want to look a certain way so that she would stop judging me just for existing?? why does she wants this? shy can’t she love me just for who i am, if i was even more shorter shat would she think about me??

omg i feel like im about to throw tf up right now

i never realised i feel like this

how can i stop this?

am i worth it? probably, but how do i stop hating myself and caring what others think about me

i feel maybe they would never like me even if i was 7’1 so then what’s wrong with me? do i want to grow just to ignore them after and prove something? but i don’t heve to prove anything to anyone, am i right?

the only person i should care about it’s me

so is height really that important?

but i don’t know how to care about myself anymore?? what do i do?? skincare??

i’m so confused

i really want to fit in the society beauty standard so bad, i want people to accept me amd love and admire me

but why??? why do i care so much??

if i would have loved myself then would i care anymore about what others think?? idk how to live myself

i don’t think i have to do anything to love myself, i should do it just because i exist, but why do i feel so weird then

why do i want to prove something when i shouldn’t

2. my dad

i feel like i care about his male gaze

not in a weird way, but in a “i think my child it’s ugly way”

idk if you know that movie when a girl turns into a pig, like, her nose is pig like

and at some point her dad told her mom that

“we have to admit, we have an ugly daughter “

that line, that scene, why is that in my mind? why did it stuck from the moment hear it??!

it passed more than a decade but that line is my roman empire

why do i care about this so much

now that i write this, i never realised how much i cared about my parents opinion about my outside appearance but i do

i do a lot until it eats me alive

one time i was sitting at the dinner table and so my dad stared at me and then smirked

so my mom asked him why

and he giggled and said “look how much X looks like her grandfather”

my grandfather who is first of all a man, second of all a big, crooked, septum deviated, nosed man

i remember that moment so vividly, i wanted to disappear in that moment so nobody could ever see my face ever again

never

i don’t hate the way my grandfather looks, but i am aware of how he’s seen by the society

and i am aware that remark wasn’t something nice but something to point out ugly features

one time when was really into selfcare

and i really wanted to drink a gallon of water a day for health and also clear skin

my father overheard my discussion and he intervened saying that “where could that much water go through your body? for you maybe one cup of water a day”

and for me, that didn’t seem funny

that shattered me, i hate it, i hate so much being perceived

i hate so much being made fun of

i don’t want to look the way i look anymore

i hate me, i hate the way i look

why am i like this, why am i so weak? so skinny?? and some of you will sat it’s something good but it’s not, as a grown up woman i look like a little boy, i feel less of a woman

i feel im not worthy, i feel like i deserve absolutely nothing and i don’t understand why was i born and why am i still alive to suffer

i do i care a lot about shat people say about me

because in our society it matters a lot how people perceive you

i wish i didnt care but i do

i wish i was different but im not

i wish i could look like the beauty standards

i wish i could make my parents happy

i wish i could prove something

i wish i was loved and appreciated

i wish i wouldn’t have to hate myself so much

i wish i could just live in silence and be happy and eat and wash my body and sleep and play and do things i like and love myself

i wish i could just love the way i looked

everything about me

even my big crooked nose

i wish i could truly love it but it bought me so much pain

so much pain

for just existing and not bothering anyone it attracted so much pain

why do i have to look a certain way to not be bullied???!!!

why do we all have to look the same

after some pattern

i think i should stop caring about others

even my mom or dad but it’s kind of hard

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icallhimjoey · 11 months

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I didn’t know that the pee thing was a unpopular opinion, I actually LOVE the piss trope (okay, weird) It happened to me once too many times to have the bladder twitching and hurting on a Friday night, so I totally get her, although there was no Joey in my lift, just my two best friends laughing their arse off.

SoftjoeyTM is already the epitome of tenderness, but this version of him might actually overtake the complete meaning of the world. He’s intentionally trying to make her laugh, throwing puns left and right just to ease the situation they’re in. Him singing "losing by religion", the feng shoe, the "you should’ve shat in it," and even the ghost looking for bread made me snort and giggle like an idiot. All the jokes that you so cleverly placed in this chapter were so much FUN, and girlie the comedic time was just brilliant.

Now that we’ve heard her side of the story our dear Joe is left with some explaining to do, SPILL IT PRETTY BOY.

I don’t know if he planned on doing it or he just let it slip, but he revealed that in fact he did more than just notice her, he was completely aware of anything that was being said and done inside the tube, and now I can say somewhat confidently that he deliberately chose to follow her. He also revealed that he doesn’t live near the tube stop, like at all, he’s actually very far from it so why in the world this kind and funny bloke followed us? It says a LOT about his motives, I don’t remotely know what they are yet, but I’m still thinking about what you said the other day, “you’ll see” I’m sure I WILL.

I’m ecstatic every time I look at my phone and see your blog appear on my screen, you bring me so much joy every single time, love you lots <33

look at this message, LOOK AT IT LIKE JOEY'S LOOKING AT IT

#it holds all the nice things #babe #ily <3 #between floors and feelings

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glimpseofamemory · 1 year

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the problem with persona 5 royal, or: maruki was right

oh hey! this blog has been very dead for a long time. but i’ve got a fire hot take imma drop, and where better to do it than tumblr dot internet. so without further ado:

the third semester arc in persona 5 royal sucks ass.

but the problem is not just that it’s horribly written. it’s not just that it’s centered around a middle school-tier philosophy dilemma that falls flat on its own face. it’s not just that it relies on character assassination and sidestepping obvious conflicts and plotholes so that it can even happen at all. no, the main problem is that it fundamentally undermines the entire fucking point of the original game, and actively detracts from the game for being there. they made a definitive edition of persona 5 and then shat all over it and made that the headlining new addition.

yeah. i’m hella pissed! so let’s get into it.

on paper, the premise of the third semester story seems fairly straightforward. maruki, with good intentions, wants to use his power of actualization to make the world a better place by effectively rewriting the state of reality itself to undo the world’s wrongs and bring everyone happiness. but the phantom thieves reject this. it’s not real, they say. it’s just running from the problem. it’s the easy way out. unfortunately, there’s a giant glaring fucking problem with this approach.

there are many, many ways you could write this story to make a coherent argument against maruki. after all, letting one man decide the fate of humanity does indeed go against persona 5′s core themes of the corrupting influence of power. you could show how maruki himself is flawed and may not always make the right decisions, or how it’s inevitably impossible to satisfy everyone when people will always have competing and incompatible desires. you could take an angle of how ultimately, making humanity dependent on maruki for solutions to their problems is in many ways no different than yaldabaoth and shido’s fascist ideals of keeping the masses oppressed and indolent so as to let those in power control everything.

but persona 5 royal fails to do any of that. the best we get, instead, is the thieves arguing repeatedly that “it’s not real!” and “that’s not what happened!”. except that, for all intents and purposes, it’s absolutely fucking real.

maruki’s reality is explicitly stated not to merely be a dream world. he can actually change the state of reality. futaba is not imagining her mother being back - she is literally there. there is absolutely nothing “not real” about her. she is, in every way that matters, alive. once maruki is done, his reality will entirely subsume the prior reality.

persona 5 royal literally shows us a world where shiho was never raped and never attempted suicide. it shows us how happy she and ann are together, unburdened by the trauma of what they went through. and then it shows joker lying in bed, wondering if this is really how things should be.

and then it expects us to say “no.”

later on, in ann’s third awakening scene, she does ponder whether she’s making the right decision. the game knows it is dealing with a major moral conundrum, even as it utterly lacks the thoughtfulness required to tackle it in any meaningful way. once again, her core argument about why maruki’s world is wrong remains: “it’s not real. it’s taking the easy way out!”

it is, quite frankly, difficult for me to express how insultingly stupid this scene is to me in words. imagine ann going to shiho, and explaining that a man existed with the power to completely undo her sexual assault and let her live a happy life. but don’t worry, ann assures her. ann stopped him.

i’m sure shiho would be very proud of her.

but beyond that, there’s another line in ann’s third awakening scene that gnaws at me, only shown with a specific dialogue option:

“is it right for someone to unilaterally change the state of reality, even if it’s for the better?” is certainly an interesting moral question to ask. one could even, for instance, write an entire 100 hour jrpg centered around this question.

ah, right. that’s exactly what atlus did. the game was called “persona 5″, and the answer it provided was a resounding “yes”.

forcibly changing reality for the better, even against others’ wishes, even if other’s questioned the justice of it, because they wholeheartedly believed it was the right thing to do, is literally the entire fucking premise of persona 5. from the beginning, the thieves ask themselves if forcibly changing the hearts of people like kamoshida or madarame is morally correct. and they all agree that, yes, ultimately, it’s for the best. it has to be done to stop their abuses because the system we have can’t be trusted to do it, and they stand by this no matter who disagrees.

and it fucking owned. vanilla persona 5 was a game about how the world’s power structures have collectively failed us. it was a game about how those in power abuse it, and happily eat us alive for their own benefit. it was a game that told us to stand up for ourselves, to fight back, to change the world for the better no matter what stands against us.

most damningly, vanilla persona 5′s ending included a crucial and important final speech from morgana:

The whole world is a product of cognition... not just the Metaverse. It can be freely re-made... the same goes for you, and everyone else. Remember... There’s no such thing as the “real” world. What each person sees and feels - Those are what shape reality. This is what gives the world infinite potential.

(unless you’re takuto maruki. then the ways that you change reality aren’t real lol fuck you)

it’s such an obvious contradiction in messaging that it makes my head spin. it makes me feel like the writers on p5r did not understand what made persona 5 good at all, or even what it was fundamentally fucking about. persona 5 is a game that tells you to use all means necessary to change the world for the better no matter who thinks it’s unjust, and then p5r turns the phantom thieves into the defenders of the status quo who side with a serial killer (who literally murdered two of the thieves’ parents!!!!) against the man who wants to save people from rape and murder.

and yet somehow, repeatedly, i see people praise how much better p5r’s writing is than the base game. how much more interesting and compelling the new story is. and i feel like i’m going insane, like everyone else experienced a completely different story from me. it’s utterly baffling to me.

and this is just, like, the tip of the fucking iceberg when it comes to garbage writing in p5r’s new content. i could go on for ages about how much sticking kasumi into the game’s opening sequence sucks, hurts the pacing, makes no narrative sense and serves no purpose other than to show off New Girl. how the entire story of maruki using his powers to make sumire think she’s kasumi immediately makes no fucking sense once the man literally acquires the power to raise the dead. how absurd it is that futaba and haru just go along with working with akechi with no real issues, the guy who literally murdered their parents.

anyway. the moral of the story is. fuck persona 5 royal skip the third semester everyone who says otherwise is wrong. thank u for reading

#persona 5 #p5r #persona 5 royal #p5r spoilers #p5 spoilers #cw: sa

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laissezferre · 1 year

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notes on a fic

ok so i don't usually do this. however i wanted there to be a place where i could put all the easter eggs in @vandrawsing and i's reverse bang collab just for my own benefit. under the cut are references, allusions, comments, and general notes on Francis and the Frog Prince. (best viewed on desktop in my blog theme)

chapter 1

Once upon a time in a swamp in the forest, there lived a frog named James. Not Hops or Croak or anything more suited to a frog, no; this particular frog believed in a great many things, the greatest of which was that how one seemed was infinitely more important than how one was. -- reference to The Hobbit. "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell... it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort."

“I don’t know, old boy,” said the duck named Duckdy. -- truly delighted how everyone seems to enjoy "duckdy". i thought it was too on the nose, but then just went ham in the end. i do what i want!

May Bear and Stars keep you safe; fare thee well!” -- if animals in the forest had a "god", i think it would be in the form of a bear

And with that, the bear-witch disappeared, as quickly as James’s sire had left after he was spawned. -- heh, fuck u lord gambier

“I put it to you that there is nothing as easy as being a prince. They go about their days wearing what they like, eating what they like—and all they need ever do is smile and then everyone will love them. Is that not the perfect life, Duckdy?" -- james dahling! he just wants to be loved!

“God’s teeth!” the rider exclaimed. “Is something wrong, master?” “I think a bird shat on my head.” -- i read some writing advice some time ago that a character's first delivered line must bear weight and say something about their character. this is francis and jopson's :D

He buried his wet nose into the warm wool, breathing in its pleasant, heady smell. So calm and pliant was he that when the satchel opened he had not noticed it at once. -- jeames likes how frauncis smells. it's very comforting for him!

“What in God’s name is happening here!” -- this is james' line in the show, but i gave it to francis as a kind of reciprocation

“By my troth, we are quite alone.” -- i looked up famous shakespeare quotes and i believe 'by my troth' came from much ado about nothing

The man was much older than his servant. His thin red hair had streaks of white at the temples. -- V and i discussed what francis' hair situation would be in this fic. and they said that they preferred to illustrate francis as a redhead with white streaks.

What sorcery is this? -- meme time!

“—must take it to the castle, surely. See if the physic can make head or tail of it. -- 'physic', shakespeare once again, from macbeth

Until that instance, James had not known that it was possible to be looked at but not seen—and James dearly loved being seen. -- episode 8, "a man like me will do amazing things to be seen".

chapter 2

James looked down at the rest of his body and saw himself clad in the finest clothes he had ever seen. -- james's clothes here were inspired directly by V's preliminary sketch during the claims phase of the bang

“How—what—who are you?” he demanded, and James, still reeling from boundless joy, could only say, “Why, I am beautiful!” -- from les mis, in the chapter where a grown up cosette looks in the mirror and realises that yeah she's hot

Once upon a time, in a kingdom called Fitzjames, there lived a prince named James. -- figured that a story within a story was the most efficient way for james to deliver his bullshit

With nothing but his royal dagger on hand and his loyal duck at his trail, Prince James left the castle under the cover of early dawn. -- actually a call-forward to chapter 4, when a heartbroken james leaves the castle under the cover of early dawn

“Cartography,” Jopson put in. “I am to be a royal cartographer—like Sir Francis.” -- i considered many occupations for francis here. scholar first, then an astronomer to be more specific, and then settled on cartographer bc this period had gorgeous maps.

They showed such a chart to James then, a draft map of the merchant isle of Sabine. -- y'all know sabine

Something of that must have moved Sir Francis, for he smiled and slowly blinked his eyes, like James had seen felines do. -- francis is described as having cat-like characteristics several times in the fic

Whatever James could think of, it would appear on himself the very next day — fitted doublets with leafy brocade, silky hoses in juno pink, stunning shoes of cattail leather. -- V was adamant that i vividly described all of james's clothes :D

“—miracle that he found the time, what with all the voyages he enlists in. I rather think he’s applied to the next one by now. We are all very glad for him, truly. And for you too as well, Your Highness. ‘True love’, ha! And at his age. Who knew?” -- this character was originally ned little, but after a bit more thinking i realised that nah ned wouldnt be this cringe

“Well, that is no trouble at all! You may take Francis’s instruction.” -- sophia has been matchmaking francis since time immemorial. what a good sport!

“Don’t leave,” James said, as feeble as a newborn bird. -- james and his abandonment issues, he is baby!

“Oh,” he croaked. He cleared his throat and looked away in embarrassment. “Well then—um—as you wish.” -- as you wish!!! from the princess bride

“You are a natural, my prince.” -- i assigned james a pet name for different people in his life. he is 'old boy' to duckdy, 'dear fellow' to sophia, and 'my prince' to francis.

“A bee,” Sir Francis said, lifting his hand so James might inspect it. “My family’s crest. Diligentia fortunae matrix, as we like to say. -- the bee is from the flag that the terror crew designed in 1840 for capt crozier. the flag's motto: diligentia fortunae matrix, or "success is born out of hard work".

“Be valiant, bold, and loyal. Be thou a knight in the name of the Bear!” -- actual words said during a knighting, "be thou a knight in the name of the king."

There were swords on the ceiling. And mirrors on the walls! And with each swirl of a lady’s skirt it seemed to multiply a hundred-fold in the hundred looking-glasses watching over the milieu. -- the mirrors and sword chandeliers (as illustrated by V) are the decorations aboard hms terror in the erebus and terror ball of 1841, hobart. "The mode adopted in lighting the supper room was inimitable, for, independent of numerous chandeliers formed of swords and cutlasses neatly fixed, holding hundreds of wax lights, there were arranged all round the sides numerous small mirrors, each containing two lights, which reflected double forming the most brilliant light that could possibly be conceived."

Just then, a churlish man with a forehead taking up half his face made his approach. -- i was not sure how to describe sebastian armesto so i brought up a picture of him and yeah, that was my first impression :D

James watched with fascination as Sir Francis placed a doting hand upon Evans’s shoulder, the boy looking up at him adoringly. -- "No ship's boys, Evans." "Sir, please." (pat) "You'll be with me."

“Ah, then it is my own company that pleases you!” “Yours and none other.” -- bruh i was blushing when i typed this up, i didnt think francis capable of flirting so well

James’s hair was plaited with green ribbon -- ribbons on the hair were part of medieval fashion, but for women. this was a way of calling back to "the dress".

“Your prince desires you—” he croaked— “to cease your flattery and dance with me instead.” -- a little slip from james's subconscious here. your prince desires you. period.

Now, there were many things about James that had ceased when he had become human, but one enduring quality was that he made up in perseverance what he might want in sense -- reference to irl james fitzjames's actual words about himself in a letter to john barrow, 1844

Oh, but he would leave His Majesty had he known that his regular trump was here! There is much we must speak of, Frank. -- letter from james clark ross to francis beaufort, 1841. "Crozier hopes to be held in your kind remembrance he is a regular trump."

James paced back and forth on the gravel path until his feet made a long furrow on the ground. -- i wanted to match this closely with the cairn scene, so yes i put them on a gravel path to match even the sounds.

“I’m a fake, an imposter; I’m a failure of a prince.” “I challenge anyone in court to tally up your virtues and then call you a fake... It only makes you a man.” “I didn't know any of that.” -- precisely

“That is the very issue, Francis. I am not.” “You are not—what are you not, James?” “A man!” -- missed opportunity for trans james, i know i know

He turned slowly towards Francis, every part of himself heavy with dread. Even the very sockets of his teeth ached. -- episode 8, "I'm tired all the time, no matter what the hour. And I'm bleeding out of the sockets of my teeth now."

chapter 3

James let out a groan and threw himself aggressively onto the nearest fainting bench. -- a reference to fainting couches from a later period. chairs with cushions weren't a thing yet in the middle ages, so fainting bench it is.

“How is it that you could draw me without having ever seen me?” “‘Tis very simple, of course. I had only to envision to myself what a perfect prince should look like, therefrom your face and form came to me in a dream.” -- i like to think this is how the real clements markham came to his idealised version of james fitzjames

“Aye, Prince James. They are to accompany you and provide other means of company should you be of the persuasion.” - george barrow you kinky fuck

“Good fortunes, Your Highness,” said Prince Hickey. -- an early hint of hickey's true identity. the real princes refer to james as 'prince james', as they are equal in rank, whilst hickey calls him 'your highness'.

“There are many things I wish to say to you, but now that I am in your presence I daren’t speak the words.” “Oh? Speak the words, Prince Hickey,” said James. “Of all I know in this world, and of this world I tell you, I doubt there is a gift on Earth that could still impress you. -- hickey interrogation scene, "Captain, I want to say something, but daren't speak the words." "Oh, speak the words, Mr.Hickey." "Of all I know in this world, and of this world I tell you, I I do not believe it is an animal we battle."

Instead pray accept this humble gift for your humble friend.” -- mofo had his eye on the prize all along!

He tried to show himself in good spirits, yet one glance from Francis reminded him that it was fruitless to misdirect one who knew him so well. -- episode 1, "I tell you, one glance from him I have to remind myself I'm not a fraud."

“May I see?” Francis said. “I might hurt you.” “I don’t mind.” -- "i'll take care of you." "it's rotten work." "not to me, not if it's you."

His eyes lingered on James’s crown, on the thin, milky substance that bled from the roots of his hair down to the back of his ears. - james's bloody, scurvy-ridden hairline but make it frog toxins

“The people there call it a steam bath,” Master Jopson had once said of a similar contraption. -- aka a turkish bath

“James, did anyone ever tell you that—um—that your tail was—an unusual size?” “What? No. Is it important?” “Not at all! Believe you me it is not the girth that counts but the way in which you wield it.” -- robin hood: men in tights, "This means you've always been my one true love because it's the right size!" "It's not the size that counts! It's how you use it!"

“Help me, Francis,” he begged. “Help me out of it.” -- reader, i was cackling! cackling, i tell you!

“Are you certain you can do that, James, hm? Are you certain?” -- the smut scene was supposed to be a dream sequence but V advocated that it be real, no regrets, 100% an improvement and waaay funnier than the original idea

A wild sound came from Francis then, a cross between a gasp and a kitten’s cry that punched out of him as he trembled. -- cat reference #2

One of his legs instantly shot out; Francis caught it deftly, then he pushed it back until both of James’s knees were sprawled at the waist. -- V had this idea of james's legs sprawled open bc it was the most comfortable position for him when he was a frog :D

He reached out and tugged at Francis’s shirtfront, pulling him down until only Francis’s hand was keeping their faces apart. -- if francis only put down his hand then they could've kissed and this story would have finished!

Francis heaved against his own hand, his breath streaming down onto James’s taut neck, like the cool touch of a spring wind, a fleeting caress. -- neck sensory overload but less euthanistic this time

Francis held James until the tremors waned, until his vision blurred, and a great, gentle peace descended. -- from goodsir's line in ep 1, idk why i appropriated it, "I have been there when souls have passed. A great peace descends."

James beamed lazily and pressed his nose back into the pillows. -- a callback to james smelling francis's hat. he just likes how he smells!

“Oh no, truly! Prithee stay there as long as you like, James. You are welcome at any time—” was what Francis had started to say, but James had only to extend his hand for Francis to quiet and come to him like a well-trained cat. -- cat reference #3

You are meant to be cherished, James -- an inversion from ep 1, "He is my second. Now, if something were to happen to me, you would be his second. You should cherish that man."

And I’m sure you believe as well that nothing else will do. -- from the failed proposal flashback, "That will not happen." "It must. Nothing else will do." "Well, then this will be the great tragedy of your life, Francis."

Please, take this compass as a wedding gift. -- look i'd just gotten a really nice compass replica from the royal museums greenwich and i really wanted to feature it in fic somehow

I never saw myself as a hero-knight, James -- oh you will honey

But I assumed then that for just one time I might have been—for you. -- ah for just ooonnee time, i will taaakkke the northwest passaaaagge

chapter 4

You see, in my struggle to compose a poem for you last night, I had left the taper ablaze. I am not harmed but for my eyebrows -- the real clements markham died from being overwhelmed by smoke when his bedclothes took fire from the candle while he was reading in bed

I am sure that Francis will not leave you wanting for too long. Fret not, he shall come upon it soon. He has had some practice after all.” -- savage sophia!

“Not long ago, Francis was the manner of a man who mourned every second on dry land... gone for months in the world’s most perilous corners, -- again from the failed proposal scene

When I heard that he was sending out his deputies to surveys instead of himself, I was more than impressed—I was relieved. For I knew that at last he had found a reason to stay, that reason being yourself of course... He would swing out in search of his stars... and neither I nor our offspring could ever convince him to simply stay. -- ww1 poet wilfred owen to siegfried sassoon, 1917, "You did not light me: I was always a mad comet; but you have fixed me. I spun round you a satellite for a month, but I shall swing out soon, a dark star in the orbit where you will blaze."

When James was but a mere frog, he had eaten something he ought not have. His belly had hurt for hours until he had spewed it out and rinsed its contents. -- i googled weird frog facts and simply had to put in this disturbing trivia

He reached out a trembling hand and picked off a spot of glue from the bottom of the cap, wherein an unseemly object had been attached. Francis’s very ring. -- like this

“My dear Prince James... I think you have made a horrible mistake.” -- reference to scene where sophia is crying as they wait to be let in to the naval meeting, "Oh, don't they know we can hear them? I have made a horrible mistake, Auntie."

Yet instead he was in his room, morbing the morning away. -- it's james's turn to morb! "I do know there hasn't been a single meal we've shared, a conversation when you weren't morbing on about what you're due."

A single tear ran down James’s cheek. -- baby...

“Avast that now, you fiend!” -- from ep 8, "Damn your eyes! It's your captain! Avast that now!"

In essence, Francis looked devilishly handsome. -- a parallel to james's transformation in chap 2, "In essence, James looked utterly princely."

“I’d seen the drawings—in the storybooks. Beanstalks. Giants. That sounded nice. -- reference to ep 10, "I'd seen the drawings in the weeklies. Oahu. Maui. That sounded nice."

I ain’t no fool. I’ve read all the stories -- a parallel to james's own false understanding of fairytales, "I am no fool. I have heard all the stories—I know how true love is found." james and hickey are both fascinated with stories yet they have vastly different take-aways from it which affect their life decisions.

this creature must be the magical goose in the fairytales, the one who lays golden eggs. -- i can't make hickey a villain-villain in my fics so i always resort to portraying him as having misconstrued something important and thus making mistakes bc of it. in my victorian detectives au, hickey mistakes francis as james fitzjames the detective, thereby abducting the wrong guy. in this au, he mistakes duckdy as the magical goose. i think it ties well with how in canon he misconstrues his own connection to the tunbaaq and assumes that he can tame it.

He paddled desperately away, creating enough distance for Francis and his horse to leap majestically in one big arc from the embankment to the water and come between them. -- hero-knight i tell you

And then you will bugger off, Master Hickey, lest the watchmen hear of your disrespect.” -- i didn't know what the police force was called in medieval times, so once again i looked up the useless guys in much ado about nothing

“Disrespect to who, eh?” “To James! Who remains the king’s guest. And to the king himself. -- again from hickey's interrogation, "Disrespect to who, sir?" "The girl!" "And now to me."

You have therefore committed several acts against the Crown: theft, calumny, brutality, kidnapping. -- again, "You have therefore committed several acts against the Articles: desertion dereliction of duty, insubordination, brutality disrespect."

Francis waded across the swamp towards James, like a moon to its planet, destined to approach and fall in orbit. -- "I spun round you a satellite for a month, etc etc"

“Do you not yet know?” “Tell me.” “I had to see you. That’s all.” -- callback to chapter 1, and also episode 8, "James had not known that it was possible to be looked at but not seen—and James dearly loved being seen."

“But Francis... I’m not a prince anymore.” “No, you’re just James. And that’s just perfectly fine.” -- these were the ending notes from V's original prompt. i liked them so much that i was determined to end the fic in the exact same way!

#the terror #yes i am shamelessly tagging #authors notes

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godhoodandgirlhood · 9 months

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YVETTE AMARU (p. ebony) ‧₊˚✩彡

(these character introductions are inspired by @/liv-is, check out their blog!!!)

Yvette is exceptionally familiar with isolation. Wealthy parents equals neglected children, right? Successful business owners who had no time for their only child, she would often think, is something that every child experienced. Even in her parents obvious wealth (she saw the mounds of Chanel products and Louboutin heels her mother brought home on the daily), their small apartment was hardly large enough to house two people, let alone another tiny human. Yvette, during her childhood in Carcassonne, had to figure out everything about the world on her own. She learned to go out and buy all her stationary supplies when she was six, which she would later learn is awfully similar to Matilda, although she never got saved by a Ms. Honey. She never truly had any interest other than to survive, until she turned thirteen. Yvette searched near and far for a job, asking from construction to receptionist, until she found herself in a small bookstore handing her childish resume to an apathetic twenty-something at the checkout. She only applied to spite her parents, trying to find something with any potential to give her a better career than the shit-heads that raised her. She got the job, and fell into love with books. They helped her cope with a heightening rage that she felt growing within her, calmed the storm that had been with her for her entire life. Even with such a disinterested family, Yvette still had an opportunity to make friends. Still, she treated everyone she knew with the same insensibility she grasped as a child, that stuck with her for her entire life. She hurt people so they stayed away, because getting too close was unnatural, irregular. Going through life with no one by your side can only result in madness or death, and Yvette would not accept the latter. All that was warm for her were the words on her pages, the sentences she wrote, the things that weren't real. She wrote tales of vengeance and gore, violent revenge on those who deserve it. You would be right if you raised a brow at her graphic statements, her darker than hell prose, or her bloodthirsty need to get the hell out of her home. After receiving a letter from Lovecraft's School of Humanities, an enigmatic and high society academy for the fine arts, Yvette felt an enchantment flow through her veins. Finally, an escape. Yvette Amaru is finally free, and now she is going to make it everyone's problem.

CREDENTIALS ♡

"I try to get her more out there, but um, it's hard. Especially when she's off her meds..." -Aven Moon, friend. "My daughter? She's fine," A sylphlike woman said, reapplying blood red lipstick, "Yvette writes books, yes? That's a job she can do, I suppose." -Anais Amaru, mother. "Oh, she can be violent, but that's not her fault. I would imagine that she just has these thoughts due to her macabre fiction." -Jolie Graves, friend, ex-lover? "She horrified me in elementary school. I think she killed the rabbits that lived in the schools garden, but I that was a rumour. I hope." -[REDACTED], ex-peer.

MISC. ♡

Voice Claim: Widowmaker - Overwatch Theme Song: Arsonist's Lullabye - Hozier Fun Fact: She despises all birds because when she was ten, a bird shat on her head.

✿ ⋆｡ﾟ ☁︎｡⋆｡ﾟ ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

#writeblr #writeblr community #writing #writing community #character intro #character reveal #oc reveal #oc intro #my characters #my wips #godhoodandgirlhood #shes so evil btw but in a hot sexy biromantic demisexual way #queer icon tbh

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c-vomitoria · 10 months

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tribute to the pigeon squad

gonna start using this blog to post various (mis)adventures i go on and what better way to start than with my best friends in all the world

besties <333

ive been around this flock for about 1 and a half years and ive gotten to know a few stand-out individuals so heres the ones ive named over that time !!! most of them are gone, either migrated away or dead i'm not sure, if they're still around i'll mention it specifically

this little guy's the first pigeon i ever thought to ascribe a name to after i saw them a few separate times at the subway station before work, their name is big boss

they were missing an eye and always hung around the back of the group not really stepping in with the others, i always tossed them some extra scraps of my breakfast away from the main group bc otherwise they'd never get their share. kept seeing them around for about 2 weeks or so at the station before they stopped showing up, i didn't name any others until i started going to the "main" feeding spot for the local flock a few months later.

this right here is acci! short for accipiter bc theyre a vicious beast, very much unlike big boss they never hesitated to jump into the crowd and slap other pigeons around with their wings for the best feeding spots or just for the hell of it. shown here consuming the flesh of a distant cousin (they *really* liked chicken whenever i brought any)

as much of a menace as acci was to the rest of the flock they were also the first one to get all attached to me and always sat on my arm whenever i came over with snacks, it was like their special perch and they always wanted to be hand fed

laelaps here didnt come around very often but always had a commanding presence, they usually hung back and just watched but never got bullied by anyone and would throw their weight around without much opposition if they did decide to step in. never got close to me but never gave the impression of being scared either, very respectable birb.

cheetodust (on the right) or just cheeto for short! every bit as scrunkly and scraggly in behaviour as they look. i'm not sure what was up with their cere for it to get all orange and crusty but the last couple times i saw them it seemed to be shedding with a more normal whitish cere underneath. this guy shat on my hands more than anyone else. no fear, no fucks given. not particularly aggressive or respected but very good at opportunistically darting around.

prima, queen of vermin. one my absolute favourites and one of the prettiest birds to ever live i will die on this hill no purebred show pigeon could EVER compete with this most regal of street urchins. i saw them around for a good while and they've always been pretty aloof, eventually they saw fit to sit on my shoes but for the most part they hung around in the back of the flock watching everything play out.

i was heartbroken when i'd counted a full month without seeing them but the other day i saw a pigeon with almost the same exact feather patterns on the head & upper torso mixed in with a standard wild morph on the rest of the body and i like to believe it's one of prima's offspring after they flew off somewhere else to find a mate. this bird is divinely protected and no harm can be allowed to reach them

if anyone can genuinely be called the big boss of the flock it's probably stalin here. theyve been around longer than almost anyone else, theyre still here, always patrolling up and down the street looking for the best bits of scraps and more pigeons to push around. if they want something they fight for it *hard*, and while other pigeons usually stop at hisses or wing slaps i've seen this particular old theropod bite their flock-mates on the neck over some grain. it never takes long for other pigeons to back down but they keep pressing afterwards just to drive it in.

just like with acci they also like to hang around me a lot, i guess it makes sense the tough brawler types aren't so scared of humans. they never really did it to get special food access though, they'd just sit there and preen or look around.

haku mainly stands out for being a real looker, with those big flashes of iridescence bordering their white chest. they're fairly run-of-the-mill socially, maybe even unusually so somehow. never causing any trouble or running into anyone, never getting into fights, never being pushed around either. just foraging where there's plenty of grain on the ground, staying out of people's way, resting in between snacks. a decent life all in all, and they seem happy about it.

i gave kohaku their name around the same time as haku bc there's some similarities in their appearance, the smaller white patches under the throat + some iridescent bits that don't really show up in this picture. turns out they'd been around for a hell of a lot longer than i thought - this particular picture was taken even before the big boss one, and there'd been several months between my last sighting of big boss and my first sighting of haku. that would make kohaku one of the very first of my named pigeons that i'd ever encountered, and i just didn't realise this picture *was* kohaku until very recently. and they're still around! i love them so much.

kohaku's always been one to approach me head-on and want to be hand-fed, and they do have a bit of the attitude that tends to go with that but not as much as the others. a little bit pushy maybe, but not as dirty and scrappy as cheeto or just plain brutish as acci or stalin. they don't fight very much they just take up space and don't budge. but they're almost always the first to get there.

next we have the uruk-hai trio:

ugluk,

mauhur,

and lugdush. the latter's the only one of these i still see nowadays, and theyre living a pretty comfortable existence with the present cast at the flocking spots. getting well-fed, staying healthy, not really stepping on any toes - which is more or less how i remember ugluk and mauhur too. bit of a far cry from their namesakes, but it is what it is

and here's kuru (in the foreground)! they're a bit of a feisty one, in the first few weeks i'd known them they kinda blended in with haku & the uruks as just a mellow, well-behaved little pigeon but when i see them now they'll sometimes just stand up, puff out their chest, and chase some poor other pigeon around while hissing loudly for no apparent reason. they'll drag it out pretty long too. it's funny bc i don't actually see them fighting over food much, they usually do this well after the food's run out and everyone's just kinda strutting about in the open. i guess that pecking order isn't going to establish itself.

and now we have the newest set - these are all ones i first met after a fairly long hiatus from pigeon-watching. i haven't known them very long yet, but theyre starting to warm up to me and im hoping i can get to know them better soon :}

they are:

halszka,

shri (centred, brown plumage)

oksoko,

shuvuuia (foreground), & barsbold (middle)

something i find really special about these ones is how their feather patterns & colours have this sort of "wild" naturalistic look to them, like what you'd expect to see living in the forests or on the plains. not quite as striking as prima, ugluk, or haku but very nice to look at nonetheless.

anyway! i may post more about these pigeons in the future and maybe more if i decided i can recognise any others! this can be just a neat introduction to all the lil dinosaur friends ive known in the time ive been around here i like them all very much and i hope anyone reading this will like them too

#pigeons #birds #trash animals

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