#shame it was dead

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

#cw: suicidal ideation #cw: suicide #cw: self harm #cw: mental health #cw: depression #i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it #i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague #it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves #so. please dont #for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic #with the state of the world as it is #having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful #but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full #and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead #i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us #there is no fix-all #and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile #i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it #thank you for reading #and please stay alive #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[wtfforged]

i refuse to draw him in a normal length shirt. you cant make me

#sighhh fuckkk hes just my barbie doll now i only draw him in outfits i want to wear #but alas. i dress like a homeless person because my teeth chatter in 65 degree weather. im like a californian were-stickbug #trying to unlearn shame with my scribbles #(said like trying to calm down a horse) youre good YOURE GOOD. YOURE GOOD YOURE GOOD. ITS FINE. YOURE FINE #messy AND its that one fucking anime guy this is like a shame-combo for me #buts its FINE were UNLEARNING SHAME. WERE NOT CRINGE. CRINGE IS DEAD. #wtf... art #roronoa zoro #zoro #one piece fanart #one piece zoro

[optionalgs]

Jor-El: I made Kal-El a Kyrptonian combat suit out of nanotech so he can go out and fight crime.

Martha Kent: not without something to cover his junk he isn't.

#my adventures with superman #clark kent #superman #martha kent #jor-el #she really slut-shamed an entire dead civilization #how very rural america of her #do not read too much into this joke please

[nateriverswife]

I always say that I like L's death in the manga more, but I've never explained why. It's because it's quiet. You don't realise L's dying until he's actually dying. You see L stop talking mid-sentence, but it's not a weird behaviour coming for him. We see the ellipsis constantly, because he's thinking. You then see Mogi and Soichiro's confused faces, Soichiro asking what's wrong and in the bottom left L's hand trembling, but we already saw him shiver. It was when Ukita died and after Aizawa grabbed him. Or when Misa mentioned the Shinigami in the tapes. So, maybe he's shaking because he's scared or deeply affected by what's going on: Watari just died, the Shinigami disappeared, the Kira Case is getting to a critical point. It's normal to think that he's just trying to calm himself down. But then... He just falls to the side, while letting go of the spoon he was holding. You can't really say that’s usual for him. He fell off the chair once, but it was off screen. Now, even if it's a drawing, you can feel that he's going in slow motion, which means something is very wrong. Obviously, when you read, you can immediately see that bigger picture in which he falls and have a reaction, but going panel by panel, it's just so quiet. He's not going out in a big style or making a lot of noise. And this silent death symbolises to me how L – himself, not the detective – was during his time alive. So unimportant to anyone but Watari, that could've had an immediate reaction in case he had died in front of him. Just like those present had a reaction in that moment. But what if he died and no one was around him? He would've just perished. Alone. Nobody would've known. The world would've not realised that he is gone. And it didn't anyway. All the people he worked with. All the connections he made. None of them knows that L died. When I picture his death in my mind, I can’t help but imagine him being alone, because that's how I think he felt in that moment. He wasn’t actually very close to the task force. They were just people he worked with. Even if he felt some affection towards them, I don’t believe he thought they could feel the same. And they showed that they moved on pretty quickly. When I think about that moment, instead, I see him being on a stage, illuminated by the light, while all around him is dark, and you'd think that at least someone is watching in silence that heartbreaking moment. But once he falls, dies and the light turns off, you'd realise that there is actually nobody to react. No one actually cared about him without the detective persona attached.

#another one of my long incoherent posts #i hope i convey what i was trying to say #because this is something very dear to my heart #L the human being doesn't actual exist for the people around him #not once did they though ''oh what a shame a 24 year old young adult died - so young - robbed of his life'' etc. #everyone thinks ''L is dead. we need to replace him otherwise they will realise that the detective is gone'' #so sad #l lawliet #dn.L #dn.general #death note #dn.analysis

[hugs-and-stabbies]

working on getting myself to sketch more and faster by doing character-themed sketch pages ^^

#yall get the michael one early here bc i didnt wanna wait to post it somewhere lol #halloween #michael myers #halloween franchise #dbd #dead by daylight #a nightmare on elm street #quentin smith #my art #also a confession 😔 #i still havent watched halloween ends 😩 #im a shame to my michael shrine #hoping to maybe 🦜🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️ it tomorrow night

[hyperfixiation-station]

Price(or any of them really) with a college age kid who he promised he was gonna take leave for and help them move up to college. Who accepts a mission that will have him gone on his kids move-in date. Who gets into a fight with his kid about it. Who leaves without apologizing. Who comes home to dark house. Who freezes when he sees the door is cracked open. Whis world ends when he's finds your decaying body lying in the hallway, a round of bullets embedded in your chest.

Turns out one of his many enemies wanted revenge. According to the estimated time of death, you were shot the night he would have been moving you into a college 3 states away. It's a pity he broke his promise to you and accepted that massion. Maybe if he hadn't none if this would ever have happened.

#cod fanfic #captain john price #john price #john price x reader #cod #call of duty #angst #cod x reader #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #i have no shame #dad!price #dead reader #ahahaha #brain worms #my head huuuurts #kyle gaz garrick

[quikyu]

Ogerpon's old man

#pokemon #ogerpon #ogerpon's partner #quikyu artiste #*me looking at the same silhouette png over and over again* I luv you #It's such a shame that he's dead now. #or IS HE? #((Copium))

[nelkcats]

Movie Problems

After enduring weeks of comments from his friends, Danny decided to watch Barbie, unlike Jason who was quite interested in Openhaimer, both met by chance in the middle of the movie theater after being informed that both movies would be delayed.

That was fine, until they walked into their respective theaters and the movies were switched, and shortly after they failed. The cinema manager couldn't help but chuckle as he looked at the boy dressed in pink next to the acclaimed Crime Lord of Gotham. He explained to them that both movies would be repeated one after the other, and that the failures were due to minions of the Joker ruining the projectors.

Danny, tired of wasting time, dragged the Crime Lord to see Barbie and promised to see Openhaimer with him later. Before entering the room he made sure to knock out the clown's goons, so Jason couldn't say anything as he was dragged away. At least the tickets were free after so many failures.

#dpxdc #Danny and Jason met in the movie theater #Danny traveled to New Jersey to watch Barbie #mainly because he didn't want to put up with the teasing of Sam and Tucker #they watched the movie earlier and he refused their invitations out of shame #Jason bought movie tickets as Red Hood #Danny doesn't care #dp x dc #dc x dp #Danny doesn't even know who Red Hood is #just that he's as unlucky as he is #Jason rented half of the movie theater for himself #Danny was simply the only one to speak for those who watched Barbie #Jason fall for the boy that knocked out the Joker goons #dead on main #deadonmain

[loadinghellsing]

Just a collection of faces Alucard makes when he first meets Anderson;

"wtf? wtf??? WTF?!?!?!"

~~~

#i contribute #scene #hellsing #hellsing manga #hellsing alucard #alexander anderson #--- #and im tagging #andercard #because this might be one of my favorite things to keep in mind #is how completely bewildered alucard was when meeting anderson #this human managed to sneak up on him #land a hit on his fledgling #LAND A HIT ON HIM #“brave and strong - shame he was stupid-” #CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD #ALMSOT LANDED ANOTHER HIT #BLOCKED ALUCARD BULLETS #GRABBED AND CRUCIFED HIM #THEN TURNED HIM INTO YOUR GRANDMOTHERS PIN CUSHION #honestly... #i could rant about andersons fighting style #its something *special* #Alucard <- Vlad the Impaler mastered the blade before there was guns. Further perfected it through an immortal life #Anderson <- the exception to quality > quantity #Alucard: ???????????????? #“the fuck?”

[sleepychaika]

it aint much but its honest work

#johnkat #homestuck #john egbert #karkat vantas #im sad because of how dead the tag is please have some spare jhnkts from my skech book #its a shame i cant draw digitally for now. id color this. hey does anybody want to color this #every time i sketch john his hair is different i CANNOT settle #its so hard to interpret those 3 hair triangles of his so i end up coming up with something of my own....... #also i moved on from drawing karkat w/ curly hair because .ok wait ill stop lest i turn these tags into a headcanons infodump #john #karkat #.txt

[skitskatdacat63]

He is so 🤏

+

#lmao suzuki i thought of you at the last minute and had to ref the 'he likes to feel tall' mene #<- i mean duh its canon. babygirl is constantly sitting on countertops #just sometimes more uh slayfully like the third image #well guys as you can tell im a big fan of that recent tiktok #so thought i should draw some of the moments cause aghhhh hes brainrotted me so badly #as suzuki pointed out to me. he has this distinct look of partial shame in the bts of the microwave vid #i like to think he came to work that morning and was like omg jimmy i have a tiktok vid #and then halfway thru making it was like: oh wow this is more embarrassing to do than i thought it would be #but dw cringe is dead to him. he doesnt care >:) #but if this is a mere glimpse of the silliness that is yet to come in this coming season. god im so excited to see more of his antics #bros seriously been liveblogging his work days since he got back to the factory 😭😭 #they should make a legitimate cinematic day in the life vid of him not just a tiktok or clipe #*clips #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1 #catie.art.

[r3dlif3]

I think above all the worst misconception about a naruto character has to be a 31 year old obito still being in love with 14 year old rin. Not only does this go against obito's whole character past the third shinobi war but it's plainly disgusting that people think this about a middle aged man. I'm telling you now that rin was not the sole reason for Obito's hatred for the shinobi world she was just the catalyst for him agreeing to madara's plan, resulting in everything that happened.

It's just annoying to see this misconception even when within the manga itself obito has stated he isnt in love with rin anymore in his adulthood as he refers to his love of her in the past tense. It's just painful to see people forget that rin was his best friend, not just his crush. She was the first person in his life to introduce him to friendship and to truly believe in his abilities and dreams. They were eachothers closest friend within life, even if rin didn't reciprocate obito's feelings she still loved him and cherished him.

I see comments about obito being the ultimate simp or some shit like that and its infuriating to see this shit about such a complex character like obito, he's only wittled down to some guy in love who apparently caused a war only for her or kakashi's friend.

#obito uchiha #rin nohara #naruto ramblings #naruto #anti naruto fandom #obito is genuinely my favourite character in naruto so im alot more passionate about him than other chara #and i've been seen too much of those comments lately #It's a shame because he's written so well and has so many layers to him #He's a middle aged man who's been manipulated for the past 15 years of his life i dont think he's really focused on being in love #especially with his dead 14 year old best friend who killed herself using his rival whom promised would protect her for him

[doalkaynaksuyu]

i might be diseased

#digital art #digital drawing #art #my art #fanart #digital doodle #bsd #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #fyozai #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bsd fyodor #dazai bsd #the shame i feel as i tag this post with dead authors is truly incomparable #im gifting an ass to dazai for new year #anyways they mean the world to me

[blmpff]

as opposed to foreign ghosts who are shit at their job

#that's foreign ghosts shaming #dead friend forever the series #favorite scenes #episode 2 #blmpff #dead friend forever #dff the series

[pivsketch]

picked up stardew valley again, i havent played it since 2018(!) so theres a lot of new stuff to experience. heres some shanes i was fiddling with while taking a break from working on something else. id like to say thanks to my friend synth for valuable input during this process

and just because i happen to have a work-in-progress screencap on hand, heres what this looked like three hours previous lol:

#yes... i know i draw shane and calhoun almost exactly the same... what can i say. the heart wants what the heart wants #stardew valley #stardew shane #pixel art #i didnt intend to make this look like im making a portrait mod (because im not) but man. it really does look like i should be huh lmao #no instead im doing something extremely more ambitious (picking up my fucking stardew overworld sprite overhaul project again) #i dont know how to post my progress on that without jinxing myself and/or getting everyone's hopes up... #but i only ever posted about it on some dead blog of mine 6-8 years ago & it still looks good. would be a shame to leave it at that

[faceeeeee]

Kaufmo human ver?

I was originally just going to leave this as a concept in my mind plus the previous ask but FINE. You want the pathetic clown? You're getting the pathetic clown-

#tadc employee idea #like i said #i really didn't think much of him untill now #if he were part of the actual cast and not used as a way to incorporate the whole abstracted gimmick i would've probably liked him more #don't get me wrong i really liked the way they introduced the abstraction but kaufmo got the short end of the stick #plus the fact that thus far the only times weve seen him fully were in the promos #not the actual show #it's a shame really #f in char for the kaufmo fans #and regarding the employee au.....in my mind he's dead dxgctxfhfhcgc or at least he's no longer himself #not only in the circus but in real life too #but yeah before entering the curvus he was this pathetic man who wabted to befriend everyone but because of his irritating personality #things didn't go his way #he's the type if guy to go “Urm ACTUALLY-” #my spelling mistakes are through the roof goddamn. thats what i get for rushing