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Sonic Boom - S3E17

Chapter title: Gotta Go Fast!

Summary: It's about time for a second race! Tails used his Build-It Box to make cars for his friends a while back, and they all competed to see whose was the best. Apparently Shadow already has a vehicle he'd like to use, though…?

((So, if anyone's wondering what on EARTH this intro is about, just know that it is all the fault of both @teamxdark and @dragon-spaghetti for introducing me to the insane crackship that is Shadave. I hope you all enjoy being cursed (blessed) with the same experiences that I have had.))

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[Episode opens on the six heroes sitting at a table in Meh Burger.]

Shadow sighed, pressing his thumbs to his temples. He looked very much like someone who was desperately trying to understand something despite strongly suspecting it wasn’t actually possible. “Please, remind me again. Why do you eat at this place so often when every last one of you—and yes, that does include you, Sonic—can make food that is infinitely better?”

Sticks shrugged. “It’s a whole lot easier than making food ourselves, and that matters way more than how it tastes.” she explained.

“But—but surely there is someplace else you could go to eat? It would be farther away, yes, but the food might actually be good and the floor might be clean. Sonic could get takeout from the other side of the island and it would still arrive hot if he stored it in something!”

The blue hedgehog in question shook his head, holding up his hands with an expression on his face that suggested he was about to impart some piece of incredible wisdom. “Shadow, don’t you get it? Eating bad fast food is a bonding experience! We all get to complain about it together! And besides, we’ve been coming here for so long that it’s kind of a tradition now. We can’t just stop!”

Shadow dropped his head into his folded arms, letting out a pained groan.

Unfortunately for him, he didn’t get very long to vocalize his despair, as Amy interrupted him with a polite call of his name. “Shadow? Would you be so kind as to get me some napkins? Meh Burger ketchup tends to make a bit of a mess, and I forgot to grab some earlier…” she explained sheepishly.

“Of course.” he said, and was already out of his chair before he noticed something about the napkin dispenser across the restaurant floor.

[Cue a visual of a dotted line going from Shadow’s eye to the empty dispenser, complete with a blinking outline where the napkins should be, but aren’t.]

The android sighed. “They’re all out. I’ll go ask the person at the counter to refill it.”

“Um, Shadow, wait, it’s okay—” Amy began, not wanting him to suffer the apathy of Dave the Intern, but it was already too late.

At the counter, Dave was currently resting his elbows on its surface and scrolling away on his phone, oblivious to the world around him. He double-tapped on someone’s post, disliking it, before making to scroll again, only to be interrupted by a calm “Excuse me?”

The intern lazily glanced upwards, his ever-present retort of “I’m on break” ready…but it died before he could ever say it.

This was because he was experiencing what could only be called a bisexual awakening.

The hedgehog on the other side of the counter had his arms folded in a way that perfectly framed his fluff of white chest fur. As Dave continued to look upwards, he noticed the polite, neutral, yet confident expression…the deadly yet elegant swoop of the black and red quills…the way the hedgehog’s ruby-red eyes shone ever so slightly golden in the sunlight…

Dave shot to attention so fast his spine cracked, barely noticing either that or the way his phone clattered to the floor. “Uh—yessir!” he squeaked, his voice breaking several octaves in the process. “Is—is there anything I can help you with?”

“Yes, please.” the hedgehog said, with a voice that was just the right kind of rough to be incredibly attractive. “My friend requested that I get her some napkins, but the dispenser seems to have run out. Do you happen to have any extra?”

Dave’s eyes widened. “Absolutely! Here, I’ll get you some!” he said eagerly, reaching under the counter as quickly as he could. Snatching up far more napkins than were necessary, he pushed a whole stack into the hedgehog’s hands (and promptly turned bright red when their fingers brushed momentarily).

Thankfully, the hedgehog didn’t seem to notice, and simply inclined his head with a quiet “Thank you.” before turning and walking away. Now left all to himself, Dave stared after Shadow as he walked away, while the next phase of his awakening began.

More specifically, the phase known as “bi panic”.

[The intro sequence goes off without a hitch yet again—is this a new record? As usual, everybody gets their own cool intro, plus the team shot at the end.]

[Dr. Eggman does his villain reveal without the green screen this time, which means it doesn’t have an opportunity to stop working! …however, what does break instead is his Egg-O-Matic, which slams into him and knocks him fully out of frame halfway through his maniacal laugh.]

[The intro then continues on, before ending with the title of this week’s episode.]

[Camera opens on Soar the Eagle, in the midst of reporting.]

“Well, folks, it’s probably been at least a year since the last time we held a race here—nobody at the studio could really be bothered to check—but it looks like it’s happening today! Again! The Second Probably-Annual Hedgehog Village Race!”

[Cut to the six heroes, who are standing off to the side watching this take place.]

Shadow frowned. “What’s all this about a race?”

“We all built cars last year with Tails’s cool Build-It Box!” Knuckles explained, practically vibrating in place with excitement. “And then we raced them to see whose was the fastest!”

“Since it’s apparently a thing to hold races annually, the mayor wants us all to do it again for ‘the tourism board’ or something.” Sticks added. They jumped into a fighting stance, their eyes bright. “I don’t care about any of that, I just wanna prove that my car’s the best! I’m gonna win this time for sure!”

The android’s expression softened at the sight of his friends’ eagerness. “Well, would you all care to show me these vehicles of yours?”

All five heroes immediately let out various shouts of agreement, before racing off in different directions to grab their cars. Shadow smirked and rolled his eyes, settling into a slightly more comfortable standing position to wait.

Sticks was the first to return, their all-terrain turtle-style car racing over the bumps in the ground with ease. Sonic, Knuckles and Tails all pulled up around the same time, having used their speed, massive tires, and technological tricks (respectively) to get there as quickly as possible. Amy pulled up last, since she took great care with her pink convertible to ensure it didn’t suffer any damage whatsoever.

A brief montage ensued (complete with a backing track in which the voice samples only consisted of “look at these cool cars” edited in different ways). Tails demonstrated the various abilities of his vehicle, and Knuckles flipped his truck several times on purpose to flaunt its second set of tires. Amy did a few laps in her convertible, showing off its handling, and Sonic did twice as many laps in nearly the same amount of time, just to prove he could. Meanwhile, Sticks hid their car in various places and challenged Shadow to find it—which only became difficult after they banned him from using infrared or electromagnetic sensors.

Once they’d all had their fun, Shadow asked a slightly strange question. “Do you have to use a car in the race?”

Amy grinned at him, folding her arms. “Shadow, if you’re trying to call your skates a racing vehicle, you should know that won’t work. Sonic would win the race by a mile if he got to run in it, but this is about proving whose car is the best! We already know you’re fast without one.”

But Shadow just shook his head. “No, I mean—if I were to use a legitimate vehicle, with wheels and all, but it wasn’t a car, would that be allowed?”

Tails furrowed his brow in thought. “That sounds fine to me…what do you guys think?”

The rest of the team made various noises of agreement, at which Shadow looked almost surprisingly delighted. It was the brightest expression any of them had ever seen on his face, and that alone was enough to convince the other five both that they had made a great decision (when it came to their friend) and possibly also a terrible decision (when it came to the race).

Suddenly, he shot them all a wickedly sharp smile, activating his skates. “I’ll see you all at the race, then…” Shadow replied, before dashing off and leaving a distinct sense of foreboding in his wake.

“Soooo…what do you guys think he has planned?” Sticks asked, once that had all settled in.

Sonic shrugged. “I dunno, probably something weird. He was being really cryptic about it. Like, more than usual.”

“I haven’t seen him smile like that ever.” Knuckles added. “I think this race might actually be really good for him! It’s been ages since he’s gotten into some wild shenanigans with us, it’s about time we had some more fun like that.”

“You’re right, Knuckles.” Amy said, smiling up at him. “I’m looking forward to seeing what he brings to the race.”

About an hour later, everyone was lined up and doing their last few checks on their cars before they set off. All of the old contestants were there—Dave, TW Barker, Eggman…even Leroy the Turtle.

Sonic put on his special racing helmet, flicking his ears a couple times to make sure they’d gone through their notches alright. Since their last race, he’d managed to spray-paint a few cool designs on it; everything from a pair of interlocking rings to his own name in a bold, jagged font could be seen. (He’d also carefully hand-painted five dots on the inside in yellow, red, pink, orange, and black. One was a little newer than the rest, and all of them were kept secret from the others. Cool heroes like him weren’t supposed to be sappy, after all.)

Suddenly, a loud rumbling noise made heads perk up all around the track from whatever it was they were doing, searching for the source of the racket. After a moment, Sonic managed to figure out that it seemed to be coming from the nearby forest…

And then—out of nowhere—a sleek, black motorcycle burst out of the undergrowth, fishtailing in a way that suggested its owner knew exactly what they were doing, before pulling up into the lineup right alongside Sonic’s own racing car. Its engine growled once more before slowing to a stop.

Now that he could see it closely, Sonic noticed the clean red detailing along the sides, as well as the glowing golden designs that marked it as a piece of Ancient technology. Seated just above the back wheel was a glowing, pulsing golden ball of pure chaos energy that seemed to be the source of the designs along the rest of the bike.

The driver wore a jumpsuit, gloves, and boots so black they practically seemed to absorb light, save for the glimmering golden zipper down the front of the suit and the equally golden rings around their wrists and ankles. Their entire head was fully masked by a black helmet, marked only with a single line of golden Ancient text along the back, near the bottom.

It was only then that Sonic realized his mouth was still hanging open, at which point he immediately shut it.

A low chuckle came from the driver, and they stepped off the motorcycle, raising their visor to reveal none other than Shadow himself, who looked like he couldn’t decide whether to smirk so smugly he’d risk getting kicked or to grin like a child in a toy store. “Nice, isn’t it?” he said, clearly proud.

“Ohmygosh—ohmygosh—OHMYGOSH, WHAT?!” Tails shrieked, launching himself at the bike. “Shadow, what is this, and why have you been keeping it from me? I thought we were friends!”

Shadow scoffed lightly. “I’m showing it to you now, aren’t I? Besides, I can’t have you knowing all my secrets at once. I’d like to think I deserve a dramatic reveal every once in a while, after all.”

“Where did you even get this?” Tails asked, his eyes and smile still so wide it nearly looked like it might hurt.

“This is my old motorcycle from back when I fought in the war. They’re powered by the user’s chaos energy, and each member of the force I was part of received one. It was…an old hobby of mine, taking care of this. It’s been a long time.” Shadow’s expression grew more and more pained as he spoke, and Sonic took that as his cue to intervene.

“So, you’re gonna try and beat the reigning champ with half the wheels I have, huh?” Sonic boasted, pointing a thumb at his chest to indicate exactly who said champion was.

Shadow raised an eyebrow. “Why am I not surprised that you were the one to win the last race.”

“Well, it was him or Eggman!” Tails piped up. “Sonic’s definitely the better option there.”

“Gee, thanks, Tails.” Sonic huffed. “‘Better than Eggman’ is such a great endorsement.”

“Anytime, Sonic!” the fox shot back, complete with an evil grin.

Shadow chuckled quietly. “He’s not wrong, though. Eggman would have been even more insufferable than you had he won, so I suppose we should all be grateful. I certainly am.”

Sonic narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Now I can’t tell if you’re insulting me or being genuine.”

“A bit of both, if I’m being perfectly honest.” Shadow replied, flipping his visor back down. “Enough standing around, now—the race is starting soon. Make sure you’re ready. I want to face you at your best.”

The hero jumped into his car, a big smile beginning to spread across his face. “Oh, believe me, you will! I’d never bring anything less than my A-game!”

“Ey, this is a race, not a ‘best rivalry banter’ competition!” Sticks yelled from her place a couple of spots over. “Let’s get to the part where we actually, y’know, race?”

[The screen is split into six sections, each showing one of our heroes as they rev their engines, ready to take off.]

The mayor climbed atop a small stool, holding a checkered banner in his hand. “Three…”

Sticks slid her camouflage into place, and Tails flicked several switches.

“Two…”

Knuckles gripped his steering wheel tightly, while Amy flashed her headlights.

“One…”

Shadow rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck as Sonic’s foot hovered millimeters over the accelerator.

“GO!”

All of the competitors took off, tearing down the path and into the woods as quickly as they could. Sonic and Shadow immediately began vying for first place, their wheels threatening to grind together as they each fought to pull ahead.

That was nothing compared to the animosity with which Tails rammed Eggman’s car, however, leaving massive scuffs in the pristine white paint job. “That’s for scaring my brother last episode!” he yelled, teeth bared in a feral grin. Eggman yelped, stomping on the accelerator in an attempt to escape the fox’s wrath.

Meanwhile, Knuckles and Sticks were having a friendly competition to see who could go the most off-road and take the riskiest shortcuts without technically deviating from the course, which was actually going surprisingly well. Dave and TW Barker, on the other hand, were both too distracted with sabotaging each other to focus on enacting any really effective villainy. To be fair to them, they were soon also distracted by the fact that Amy was taking swings at both of them with her hammer whenever either of them threatened to break a rule.

And Leroy the Turtle…listen, he was doing his best, but…he really shouldn’t have brought a regular bike to a car race.

Back up at the front, Sonic was drifting around corners like a pro, showboating with winks and smug grins as he did so. “Hey Shadow, how’s that dust taste?” he called out, having to fight not to let his voice be whipped away by the wind.

At first, Shadow didn’t reply, and Sonic frowned. Had he really managed to take away Shadow’s knack for snappy comebacks with such a by-the-book remark?

Then, as he drifted around the next corner, practically running on autopilot, he saw Shadow tear past him on the inside of the turn, leaning so low to the ground that his elbow practically brushed it. Sonic had only ever seen something like that happen in movies, and his jaw dropped once again.

“I don’t know, you tell me!” Shadow shot over his shoulder, pulling into the middle of the path in a clear attempt to block Sonic from regaining his previous position, and that was what snapped Sonic out of it.

The blue hedgehog burst out laughing, letting out a wild cheer of pure exhilaration. And though he couldn’t see it, he just knew that Shadow was smiling under his helmet too.

Not far behind them were Tails and Eggman, both still locked in bitter combat. Tails was pulling out all the stops, launching every possible road hazard he had in his arsenal, from spiked balls to straight-up bombs. Eggman was giving as good as he got, though, deploying movable shields and retaliating with laser blasts.

Tails growled softly to himself. “He dodges everything I throw at him! How am I supposed to get the jump on Egghead if he predicts all my moves?”

Suddenly, his eyes widened. “Wait…the jump…of course! Why didn’t I think of it before? I might’ve designed this to be an obstacle, but it can help me too!”

Tails slammed his hand on a big button near the edge of his dashboard, watching as a massive star-emblazoned spring shot out and landed ahead of Eggman’s car, forcing him to shift lanes in order to avoid it.

“Ha!” the doctor cackled. “Missed again!”

“Bold of you to assume I was aiming for you!” Tails cried. “You forgot this fox can fly, Egg-breath!”

And with that, his car hit the spring, soaring high into the air. Within seconds, Tails had calculated exactly what he would need to do in order to land in front of Eggman, and then how to herd him off the path entirely so he would be disqualified, and then all he’d need to do would be to pour on some speed and—

—just as he reached the peak of his arc, something smashed into his car, blowing it completely in half. Without the right weight to maintain his momentum, Tails’s car smashed into the road far off from where he was expecting…which would’ve been alright on its own, if it weren’t for the fact that it couldn’t, well, drive anymore.

Shaken, the fox peered out of the wreckage just in time to see Eggman blast by, laughing evilly as a giant laser cannon retracted back into his vehicle. “Better luck next time!” he called, revving his engine as he blasted into the distance.

Tails stared after him for a long moment, his eyes wide and pupils tiny. It wasn’t until Eggman was out of view that he sank to the ground, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his tails around his shins.

Hopelessness began to sink in further as he heard more engines coming towards him from far in the distance, and he hid his face in his arms. Stupid—he should have known better than to deviate from his pre-planned maneuvers! Now he’d be forced to sit here and scrape together the broken pieces of his car as the other contestants rushed by…

Wait—but—weren’t the engines supposed to be coming from the other direction?

Suddenly, Sonic’s speedster car skidded to a stop beside him, followed shortly by Shadow’s motorcycle. The blue hero leapt out of his car, rushing over to Tails and lifting him up with ease. “You okay, Tails?” Sonic scanned his little brother for injuries nervously. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

“Just my pride.” Tails sighed, his ears visibly drooping. Sonic set him back down and ruffled his hair gently.

“What happened?” Shadow asked, having removed his helmet in an effort to better look over the fox’s car. “We just heard the announcer say that your car was hit by a laser and wanted to make sure you were alright.”

Tails startled at the second half of that sentence, his eyes growing wide yet again. “You…but I thought you wanted to win the race?”

“Lil’ buddy, I wasn’t just gonna leave you behind! I need my best bro with me, not blown up in the middle of a race!” Sonic insisted.

Shadow frowned. “And you’ve done so much for me, there’s no chance that I’d pass up an opportunity to return the favor.”

Tails grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. “Awww, you guys…”

“Now then,” the android said, “what exactly happened here?”

The engineer sighed. “I tried to deploy a spring so I could leapfrog Eggman, but he blew my car in half with a big laser cannon while I was still in the air.”

Sonic smacked a fist into his other palm. “Well, there’s no way we’re letting him get away with that! We’ve gotta get your car back in the race!”

“And how, exactly, am I gonna pull that off? It’s literally in pieces, and I don’t have the Build-It Box with me for repairs!” Tails gestured over to said pieces unhappily.

Sonic’s determination didn’t falter for even a second. “You remember how you guys helped me win last year? I think it’s about time I returned the favor.”

Tails’s fur practically stood on end. “You don’t mean—?!”

Sonic grinned and gave him a thumbs-up. “Just promise you’ll rebuild them later, ‘kay?” (In the background, Shadow raised an eyebrow, before seemingly resigning himself to this plan.)

“I promise!” Tails cried, bouncing up and down in place. “And you guys can ride with me too, if you want!”

Shadow gave him a small smile. “That sounds perfect. Now let’s not waste any more time—the doctor is already far ahead, and we need to catch him.”

Quickly, the three rebuilt Tails’s car, replacing his wheels with Sonic’s and patching up many of the worst scrapes and breaks with parts from Shadow’s motorcycle, along with a new Chaos-fueled turbo engine in the back to make up for lost time. (Shadow had requested a non-Meh Burger meal afterwards to make up for all the energy he would lose, and Tails had more than happily agreed.)

Sonic climbed into the passenger’s seat next to Tails, while Shadow donned his helmet once more and teleported onto the roof, where he took hold of the converters that would power the turbo booster on the back. “Are you ready, Shadow?” Tails called.

“I’d never be anything less.” Shadow’s smirk was practically audible.

And with that, the car took off.

Tails steered it through the various tight bends that Sonic and Shadow had previously traversed, with little bursts of power from Shadow to help guide it around particularly difficult turns. Before long, they found themselves gaining on Eggman, who had slowed down to a more leisurely pace (although he hadn’t stopped in front of the finish line like last time—he didn’t earn his doctorate by not learning, after all).

The young engineer smiled in a way that suddenly reminded Sonic that his brother had descended from carnivores in a way that hedgehogs had decidedly not. “Hey Eggman!” Tails barked. “This time, it’s the fox that’s hunting you!”

Eggman screeched, stepping on the accelerator as hard as he possibly could and firing a barrage of lasers back at Tails. At that moment, Shadow cut off the Chaos engine, making the car drop back and all the lasers miss.

“Oh, so that’s how it is, hm?” the doctor yelled. “I suppose they do say ‘if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it’!”

With that, he activated his giant laser cannon, popping it out of his car and charging it up rapidly. “Sonic!” Tails cried. “I need you to hit the big red button as many times as you possibly can!”

“Wait, Tails, are you serious?” Sonic asked. “I thought people were never supposed to hit the big red button!”

“Yeah, but I knew you’d wanna do it, so I made it so you can. Now hit it, and don’t stop!”

Sonic mashed the button as quickly as he could, continuing to do so even as a humming noise coming from the front of the car grew louder and louder...

The muffler on Tails’s vehicle split, unleashing a laser blast of his own that stopped Eggman’s dead in mid-air. “What?!” the doctor yelped. “How?”

“Guess you’re gonna need to fix that now, huh?” Tails shot back, in lieu of a proper answer. “Shadow!”

Suddenly, Tails’s car blasted forward once again, courtesy of Shadow’s energy reserves. Eggman was too stunned to even react at first, and by the time he did, it was far too late. The other three were already most of the way through the forest, and he only caught up enough to watch them from a distance…as they crossed the finish line far ahead of him.

“No!” Eggman cried. “Not again! Ugh!” He pressed a button on his console. “Orbot? Cubot? Prep the ice cream. Fudge swirl. And if you value your gears…do not talk to me about the race!”

And with that, his Eggmobile flew him back to his tower, grumbling all the way.

Meanwhile, over at the finish line, Shadow had slid off the roof and was currently being supported by Sonic and Tails, all three wearing various triumphant smiles. Amy was there to greet them, having been disqualified once she caused a two-car pileup. (She wasn’t actually disqualified for causing the crash, but rather for getting out of her own car to have a proper smackdown with TW Barker and Dave.)

“Hey, where’s Knuckles and Sticks?” Sonic asked her.

“Oh, I think they’re still having fun playing demolition derby with their cars.” Amy explained, rolling her eyes fondly. “But good job, you three! I saw it all on the cameras!”

“Even the part where I embarrassed myself by getting all sad?” Tails asked, cringing.

“You didn’t embarrass yourself.” Shadow replied, sounding more noticeably tired than usual. “You made a mistake. It happens. Now you’ve learned from it, and you even won the race in spite of it.”

“Exactly! Thank you, Shadow!” Amy exclaimed, seeming quite proud for some reason.

Sonic zipped off, snatching the trophy from the mayor’s hands, and rushed it back to Tails with a big grin. Amy took up the role of ‘Shadow support structure’, allowing Sonic to lift Tails onto his shoulders as the fox held his trophy high in the air.

“Yeah! We won!” the fox cheered, over the sound of Sonic’s whooping.

The blue hedgehog grinned up at his brother. “What do ya say we go grab some burgers to celebrate?”

A loud “AHEM” abruptly came from Amy and Shadow’s direction, making both Sonic and Tails whip around to stare at a suddenly giggling Amy and a distinctly unamused Shadow.

“I believe I was promised something other than that?” the android remarked. “I refuse to let all of my flavor reception programming go ignored, after all.”

The brothers gave Amy twin hopeful looks, making her sigh. “Very well, you’re all invited over to my place for a meal. But!” She raised a single finger in the air. “You two are going to handle getting Knuckles and Sticks over, and you’re helping out in the kitchen wherever you can.”

“Just promise me it won’t all be health food, and you’ve got yourself a deal.” Sonic held out the hand that wasn’t supporting Tails to shake on it.

“Deal!” Amy declared, taking his hand and shaking it firmly.

“Alright, now let’s get this show on the road!” Sonic cheered, making Tails laugh with delight and the other two smile, the euphoria of winning spilling out onto everyone and brightening all their moods.

And with that, the four headed off to Amy’s house, ready to celebrate their victory together…and without putting up with Meh Burger.

[The show freeze-frames, and then fades to black. Then the credits roll.]

#sonic boom #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #miles tails prower #knuckles the echidna #amy rose #sticks the badger #sonic boom: ancient secrets #sol's fanfiction #there's only one more episode left before the two-part finale!#however it will take me some time to edit because the first draft was...Not Great #so in the meantime #thank you all for reading #and do take care of yourselves! you're worth it!!

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