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#serpent and horselord
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But Grima remembers what he heard in Gondor, when he was a young man traveling with his sister. Oh yes, Gondor loves Rohan and speaks well of the Rohirrim — calling them fair and valiant. Yet they rank them in the middle of their little chart they have wherein they mark up people’s worth. There are the High Men — the Men of the West. Which is, naturally, the men of Gondor. What is Rohan? Twilight men. Middling men. Not so worthy as Gondor, but not so despised as the Easterlings, Haradram, and other so-called wild men. 
There is a mode in which the great lords of Gondor speak of the Rohirrim, men like Denethor and his sons, and it is how a mother speaks of her rambunctious child, who she doesn’t strictly understand, and wishes would behave in the manner she deems appropriate. 
Anyway, Grima refused to write in Eorleden. He told Theoden he was content to write in Westron or Sindarin (though, no promises on grammar and syntax in the latter of the two), but he wouldn’t write in their language. 
Translation is a room that never ends, after all. Grima said: I would like to go to bed at some point. I would like to be able to exit the work. 
Theoden replied, laughingly, That is a phrase only you would think to say. Translation is a room that never ends. 
To be sure, my lord, and writing history is a fool’s errand. I think it important to be sure, and I value our lore and our people’s songs and stories, but to write it out is to lose a certain fundamental opacity of being human. There is something about what it is to be human that cannot be pinned down. Best leave it that way. 
What is that I spy? A glimpse of sentimentality beneath your shield of cynicism? 
Grima did not reply. Because he disliked that his king saw, if for a fleeting moment, beneath his own sense of opacity. That Theoden looked at him and knew some part of his truth and had the rare ability to actually see Grima even as Grima was in the midst of hiding whilst in plain sight.
From the Serpent & Horselord (working title), or, Grima & Eomer Team Up & Scheme fic
Grima and Theoden having a Moment. 
Grima: Stop Seeing Me and Validating Me It’s Rude
Theoden: Or...I could and you could learn to accept it and that you’re deserving of it? 
Grima: Absolutely not. I will do no such thing. 
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Every time Dany mentions home
*Buckle in kids, this is a long one*
“At first the magisters and archons and merchant princes were pleased to welcome the last Targaryens to their homes and tables, but as the years passed and the Usurper continued to sit upon the Iron Throne, doors closed and their lives grew meaner. Years past they had been forced to sell their last few treasures, and now even the coin they had gotten from Mother's crown had gone. In the alleys and wine sinks of Pentos, they called her brother "the beggar king." Dany did not want to know what they called her.” - Dany I, GoT
“Dany looked at Khal Drogo. His face was hard and cruel, his eyes as cold and dark as onyx. Her brother hurt her sometimes, when she woke the dragon, but he did not frighten her the way this man frightened her. "I don't want to be his queen," she heard herself say in a small, thin voice. "Please, please, Viserys, I don't want to, I want to go home." "Home!" He kept his voice low, but she could hear the fury in his tone. "How are we to go home, sweet sister? They took our home from us!" He drew her into the shadows, out of sight, his fingers digging into her skin. "How are we to go home?" he repeated, meaning King's Landing, and Dragonstone, and all the realm they had lost.” - Dany I, GoT
“Dany had only meant their rooms in Illyrio's estate, no true home surely, though all they had, but her brother did not want to hear that. There was no homethere for him. Even the big house with the red door had not been home for him. His fingers dug hard into her arm, demanding an answer. "I don't know …" she said at last, her voice breaking. Tears welled in her eyes."I do," he said sharply. "We go home with an army, sweet sister. With Khal Drogo's army, that is how we go home. And if you must wed him and bed him for that, you will." He smiled at her. "I'd let his whole khalasar fuck you if need be, sweet sister, all forty thousand men, and their horses too if that was what it took to get my army. Be grateful it is only Drogo. In time you may even learn to like him. Now dry your eyes. Illyrio is bringing him over, and he will not see you crying.” - Dany I, GoT
“Home," he said. His voice was thick with longing. "I pray for home too," she told him, believing it.” - Dany III, GoT
“He could not lead an army even if my lord husband gave him one," Dany said. "He has no coin and the only knight who follows him reviles him as less than a snake. The Dothraki make mock of his weakness. He will never take us home.” - Dany III, GoT
“She was lying there, holding the egg, when she felt the child move within her … as if he were reaching out, brother to brother, blood to blood. "You are the dragon," Dany whispered to him, "the true dragon. I know it. I know it." And she smiled, and went to sleep dreaming of home.” - Dany IV, GoT
“The Dothraki do things in their own time, for their own reasons," the knight answered. "Have patience, Princess. Do not make your brother's mistake. We will go home, I promise you."Home? The word made her feel sad. Ser Jorah had his Bear Island, but what was home to her? A few tales, names recited as solemnly as the words of a prayer, the fading memory of a red door … was Vaes Dothrak to be her home forever? When she looked at the crones of the dosh khaleen, was she looking at her future?” - Dany VI, GoT
“If I were not the blood of the dragon, she thought wistfully, this could be my home. She was khaleesi, she had a strong man and a swift horse, handmaids to serve her, warriors to keep her safe, an honored place in the dosh khaleen awaiting her when she grew old … and in her womb grew a son who would one day bestride the world. That should be enough for any woman … but not for the dragon. With Viserys gone, Daenerys was the last, the very last. She was the seed of kings and conquerors, and so too the child inside her. She must not forget.” - Dany VI, GoT
“But the Western Market smelled of home.” - Dany VI, GoT
“Under the hollow hummock of earth that was her home in Vaes Dothrak, Dany ordered them to leave her—all but Ser Jorah. "Tell me," she commanded as she lowered herself onto her cushions. "Was it the Usurper?" - Dany VI, GoT
“Her words were a knife through Dany's breast. What had she ever done to make the gods so cruel? She had finally found a safe place, had finally tasted love and hope. She was finally going home. And now to lose it all … "No," she pleaded. "Save him, and I will free you, I swear it. You must know a way … some magic, some …" - Dany VIII, GoT
“She saw sunlight on the Dothraki sea, the living plain, rich with the smells of earth and death. Wind stirred the grasses, and they rippled like water. Drogo held her in strong arms, and his hand stroked her sex and opened her and woke that sweet wetness that was his alone, and the stars smiled down on them, stars in a daylight sky. "Home," she whispered as he entered her and filled her with his seed, but suddenly the stars were gone, and across the blue sky swept the great wings, and the world took flame.” - Dany IX, GoT
“The door loomed before her, the red door, so close, so close, the hall was a blur around her, the cold receding behind. And now the stone was gone and she flew across the Dothraki sea, high and higher, the green rippling beneath, and all that lived and breathed fled in terror from the shadow of her wings. She could smell home, she could see it, there, just beyond that door, green fields and great stone houses and arms to keep her warm, there. She threw open the door.”  - Dany IX, GoT
“Saved me?" The Lhazareen woman spat. "Three riders had taken me, not as a man takes a woman but from behind, as a dog takes a bitch. The fourth was in me when you rode past. How then did you save me? I saw my god's house burn, where I had healed good men beyond counting. My home they burned as well, and in the street I saw piles of heads. I saw the head of a baker who made my bread. I saw the head of a boy I had saved from deadeye fever, only three moons past. I heard children crying as the riders drove them off with their whips. Tell me again what you saved.” - Dany IX, GoT
“As my queen commands." Ser Jorah frowned. "My home . . . you must understand that to understand the rest. Bear Island is beautiful, but remote. Imagine old gnarled oaks and tall pines, flowering thornbushes, grey stones bearded with moss, little creeks running icy down steep hillsides. The hall of the Mormonts is built of huge logs and surrounded by an earthen palisade. Aside from a few crofters, my people live along the coasts and fish the seas. The island lies far to the north, and our winters are more terrible than you can imagine, Khaleesi.” - Dany I, ACoK
“A fortnight was how long it took us to sail from Lannisport back to Bear Island. My home was a great disappointment to Lynesse. It was too cold, too damp, too far away, my castle no more than a wooden longhall. We had no masques, no mummer shows, no balls or fairs. Seasons might pass without a singer ever coming to play for us, and there's not a goldsmith on the island. Even meals became a trial. My cook knew little beyond his roasts and stews, and Lynesse soon lost her taste for fish and venison.” - Dany I, ACoK
“She had heard the longing in Ser Jorah's voice when he spoke of his Bear Island. He can never have me, but one day I can give him back his home and honor. That much I can do for him.” - Dany I, ACoK
“Pyrat Pree conducted her little khalasar down the center of a great arcade where the city's ancient heroes stood thrice life-size on columns of white and green marble. They passed through a bazaar in a cavernous building whose latticework ceiling was home to a thousand gaily colored birds. Trees and flowers bloomed on the terraced walls above the stalls, while below it seemed as if everything the gods had put into the world was for sale.” - Dany II, ACoK
“Xaro Xhoan Daxos had offered Dany the hospitality of his home while she was in the city. She had expected something grand. She had not expected a palace larger than many a market town. It makes Magister Illyrio's manse in Pentos look like a swineherd's hovel, she thought. Xaro swore that his home could comfortably house all of her people and their horses besides; indeed, it swallowed them. An entire wing was given over to her. She would have her own gardens, a marble bathing pool, a scrying tower and warlock's maze. Slaves would tend her every need. In her private chambers, the floors were green marble, the walls draped with colorful silk hangings that shimmered with every breath of air. "You are too generous," she told Xaro Xhoan Daxos.”  - Dany II, ACoK
“Ser Jorah, find the docks and see what manner of ships lay at anchor. It has been half a year since I last heard tidings from the Seven Kingdoms. Perhaps the gods will have blown some good captain here from Westeros with a ship to carry us home.” - Dany II, ACoK
“The thought of home disquieted her. If her sun-and-stars had lived, he would have led his khalasar across the poison water and swept away her enemies, but his strength had left the world. Her bloodriders remained, sworn to her for life and skilled in slaughter, but only in the ways of the horselords. The Dothraki sacked cities and plundered kingdoms, they did not rule them. Dany had no wish to reduce King's Landing to a blackened ruin full of unquiet ghosts. She had supped enough on tears. I want to make my kingdom beautiful, to fill it with fat men and pretty maids and laughing children. I want my people to smile when they see me ride by, the way Viserys said they smiled for my father.”  - Dany II, ACoK
“I have given you my home and heart, do they mean nothing to you? I have given you perfume and pomegranates, tumbling monkeys and spitting snakes, scrolls from lost Valyria, an idol's head and a serpent's foot. I have given you this palanquin of ebony and gold, and a matched set of bullocks to bear it, one white as ivory and one black as jet, with horns inlaid with jewels.” - Dany III, ACoK
“I am half a world away from my kingdom even here. If I go any farther east I may never find my way home to Westeros.” - Dany III, ACoK
“She fled from him, but only as far as the next open door. I know this room, she thought. She remembered those great wooden beams and the carved animal faces that adorned them. And there outside the window, a lemon tree! The sight of it made her heart ache with longing. It is the house with the red door, the house in Braavos. No sooner had she thought it than old Ser Willem came into the room, leaning heavily on his stick. "Little princess, there you are," he said in his gruff kind voice. "Come," he said, "come to me, my lady, you're home now, you're safe now." His big wrinkled hand reached for her, soft as old leather, and Dany wanted to take it and hold it and kiss it, she wanted that as much as she had ever wanted anything. Her foot edged forward, and then she thought, He's dead, he's dead, the sweet old bear, he died a long time ago. She backed away and ran.” - Dany IV, ACoK
“All the brass in this booth is not worth twenty honors," Dany told him as she studied the reflections. The old man had the look of Westeros about him, and the brown-skinned one must weigh twenty stone. The Usurper offered a lordship to the man who kills me, and these two are far from home. Or could they be creatures of the warlocks, meant to take me unawares?” - Dany V, ACoK
“Three heads has the dragon, Dany thought, wondering. "I shall tell my people to make ready to depart at once. But the ships that bring me home must bear different names." - Dany V, ACoK
“But that time was not yet come. Rhaegal and Viserion were the size of small dogs, Drogon only a little larger, and any dog would have out-weighed them; they were all wings and neck and tail, lighter than they looked. And so Daenerys Targaryen must rely on wood and wind and canvas to bear her home.” - Dany  I, ASoS
“Mero tossed down his wine straightaway, wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and leered at Dany. "I believe I fucked your twin sister in a pleasure house back home. Or was it you?” - Dany IV, ASoS
“Varys said . . . I might go home." He bowed his head.I was going to take you home! Her dragons sensed her fury. Viserion roared, and smoke rose grey from his snout. Drogon beat the air with black wings, and Rhaegal twisted his head back and belched flame. I should say the word and burn the two of them. Was there no one she could trust, no one to keep her safe? "Are all the knights of Westeros so false as you two? Get out, before my dragons roast you both. What does roast liar smell like? As foul as Brown Ben's sewers? Go!” - Dany V, ASoS
“No. I must hold court soon." Dany had grown very fond of Missandei. The little scribe with the big golden eyes was wise beyond her years. She is brave as well. She had to be, to survive the life she's lived. One day she hoped to see this fabled isle of Naath. Missandei said the Peaceful People made music instead of war. They did not kill, not even animals; they ate only fruit and never flesh. The butterfly spirits sacred to their Lord of Harmony protected their isle against those who would do them harm. Many conquerors had sailed on Naath to blood their swords, only to sicken and die. The butterflies do not help them when the slave ships come raiding, though. "I am going to take you home one day, Missandei," Dany promised. If I had made the same promise to Jorah, would he still have sold me? "I swear it.” - Dany VI, ASoS
“Leave him be. The scales are balanced now. Let him go home." Dany pictured Jorah moving amongst old gnarled oaks and tall pines, past flowering thornbushes, grey stones bearded with moss, and little creeks running icy down steep hillsides. She saw him entering a hall built of huge logs, where dogs slept by the hearth and the smell of meat and mead hung thick in the smoky air. "We are done for now," she told her captains.” - Dany VI, ASoS
“They could not feed him his own genitals. The Astapori left him neither root nor stem. "The Sons grow bolder," Dany observed. Until now, they had limited their attacks to unarmed freedmen, cutting them down in the streets or breaking into their homes under the cover of darkness to murder them in their beds. "This is the first of my soldiers they have slain.” - Dany I, ADwD
“Mossador. Dany made a fist. Missandei and her brothers had been taken from their home on Naath by raiders from the Basilisk Isles and sold into slavery in Astapor. Young as she was, Missandei had shown such a gift for tongues that the Good Masters had made a scribe of her. Mossador and Marselen had not been so fortunate. They had been gelded and made into Unsullied. "Have any of the murderers been captured?” - Dany II, ADwD
“Three freedmen, murdered in their homes," the Shavepate said. "A moneylender, a cobbler, and the harpist Rylona Rhee. They cut her fingers off before they killed her." - Dany II, ADwD
“As he loved you." Dany stroked the girl's hair. "Say the word, my sweet, and I will send you from this awful place. I will find a ship somehow and send you home. To Naath.” - Dany II, ADwD
“Kisses came easier than sleep, however. Dany shut her eyes and tried to think of home, of Dragonstone and King's Landing and all the other places that Viserys had told her of, in a kinder land than this … but her thoughts kept turning back to Slaver's Bay, like ships caught in some bitter wind. When Missandei was sound asleep, Dany slipped from her arms and stepped out into the predawn air to lean upon the cool brick parapet and gaze out across the city. A thousand roofs stretched out below her, painted in shades of ivory and silver by the moon.” - Dany II, ADwD
“The truth … but truth was never welcome at that court. I walked from the throne room with my head high, though I did not know where I was going. I had no home but White Sword Tower. My cousins would find a place for me at Harvest Hall, I knew, but I had no wish to bring Joffrey's displeasure down upon them. I was gathering my things when it came to me that I had brought this on myself by taking Robert's pardon. He was a good knight but a bad king, for he had no right to the throne he sat. That was when I knew that to redeem myself I must find the true king, and serve him loyally with all the strength that still remained me." - Dany II, ADwD
“The gift you begged of me in Qarth. Ships. There are thirteen galleys in the bay. Yours, if you will have them. I have brought you a fleet, to carry you home to Westeros.” - Dany III, ADwD
“Of him, little and less. These ships, though … Your Grace, with these ships we might be home before year's end."Dany had never known a home. In Braavos, there had been a house with a red door, but that was all. "Beware of Qartheen bearing gifts, especially merchants of the Thirteen. There is some trap here. Perhaps these ships are rotten, or …” - Dany III, ADwD
“It was good counsel. "Yes, make it so." Westeros. Home. But if she left, what would happen to her city? Meereen was never your city, her brother's voice seemed to whisper. Your cities are across the sea. Your Seven Kingdoms, where your enemies await you. You were born to serve them blood and fire.” - Dany III, ADwD
“Enough." Dany slapped the table. "No one will be left to die. You are all my people." Her dreams of home and love had blinded her. "I will not abandon Meereen to the fate of Astapor. It grieves me to say so, but Westeros must wait.” - Dany III, ADwD
“Ser Barristan went to one knee before her. "My queen, your realm has need of you. You are not wanted here, but in Westeros men will flock to your banners by the thousands, great lords and noble knights. 'She is come,' they will shout to one another, in glad voices. 'Prince Rhaegar's sister has come home at last.” - Dany III, ADwD
“I am a sailor, not a shipwright. I was sent to fetch Your Grace back to Pentos. Instead you brought us here and tore my Saduleon to pieces for some nails and scraps of wood. I will never see her like again. I may never see my home again, nor my old wife. It was not me who refused the ships this Daxos offered. I cannot fight the Qartheen with fishing boats.” His bitterness dismayed her, so much so that Dany found herself wondering if the grizzled Pentoshi could be one of her three betrayers. No, he is only an old man, far from home and sick at heart. "There must be something we can do.” - Dany V, ADwD
“Ser Barristan will show you out." Dany hurried off, calling for her handmaids. She would not welcome her captain home in a tokar. In the end she tried a dozen gowns before she found one she liked, but she refused the crown that Jhiqui offered her.” - Dany VI, ADwD
“This?" Daario touched his temple. "A crossbowman tried to put a quarrel through my eye, but I outrode it. I was hurrying home to my queen, to bask in the warmth of her smile." He shook his sleeve, spattering red droplets. "This blood is not mine. One of my serjeants said we should go over to the Yunkai'i, so I reached down his throat and pulled his heart out. I meant to bring it to you as a gift for my silver queen, but four of the Cats cut me off and came snarling and spitting after me. One almost caught me, so I threw the heart into his face.” - Dany VI, ADwD
“Instead she slipped into a hooded robe and stepped out onto her terrace. She went to the parapet and stood there gazing down upon the city as she had done a hundred times before. It will never be my city. It will never be my home.” - Dany VII, ADwD
“He will give us these castrati, Dany thought, and then he will march home and make some more. The world is full of boys.” - Dany VIII, ADwD
“No." Dany knew enough of Westerosi history to know that. Nymeria had landed ten thousand ships upon Dorne's sandy shores, but when she wed her Dornish prince she had burned them all and turned her back upon the sea forever. "Dorne is too far away. To please this prince, I would need to abandon all my people. You should send him home." - Dany VIII, ADwD
“Home," said Dany. "Naath. Butterflies and brothers. Tell me of the things that make you happy, the things that make you giggle, all your sweetest memories. Remind me that there is still good in the world.” - Dany VIII, ADwD
“The hill loomed larger down here. Dany had taken to calling it Dragonstone, after the ancient citadel where she'd been born. She had no memories of that Dragonstone, but she would not soon forget this one. Scrub grass and thorny bushes covered its lower slopes; higher up a jagged tangle of bare rock thrust steep and sudden into the sky. There, amidst broken boulders, razor-sharp ridges, and needle spires, Drogon made his lair inside a shallow cave. He had dwelt there for some time, Dany had realized when she first saw the hill. The air smelled of ash, every rock and tree in sight was scorched and blackened, the ground strewn with burned and broken bones, yet it had been home to him. Dany knew the lure of home.” - Dany X, ADwD
“And no matter how far the dragon flew each day, come nightfall some instinct drew him home to Dragonstone. His home, not mine. Her home was back in Meereen, with her husband and her lover. That was where she belonged, surely.” - Dany X, ADwD  
“North they flew, beyond the river, Drogon gliding on torn and tattered wings through clouds that whipped by like the banners of some ghostly army. Dany glimpsed the shores of Slaver's Bay and the old Valyrian road that ran beside it through sand and desolation until it vanished in the west. The road home. Then there was nothing beneath them but grass rippling in the wind.” - Dany X, ADwD
“He boasts of bedding me, you mean. But Daario would not have been so foolish as to make such a boast amongst her enemies. It makes no matter. By now the Yunkai'i will be marching home. That was why she had done all that she had done. For peace.” - Dany X, ADwD
“Once she was certain which way was south, she counted off her paces. The stream appeared at eight. Dany cupped her hands to drink. The water made her belly cramp, but cramps were easier to bear than thirst. She had no other drink but the morning dew that glistened on the tall grass, and no food at all unless she cared to eat the grass. I could try eating ants. The little yellow ones were too small to provide much in the way of nourishment, but there were red ants in the grass, and those were bigger. "I am lost at sea," she said as she limped along beside her meandering rivulet, "so perhaps I'll find some crabs, or a nice fat fish." Her whip slapped softly against her thigh, wap wap wap. One step at a time, and the stream would see her home.” - Dany X, ADwD
“The day grew warmer, and the sun beat down upon her head and the burnt remnants of her hair. Water splashed against the soles of her feet. She was walking in the stream. How long had she been doing that? The soft brown mud felt good between her toes and helped to soothe her blisters. In the stream or out of it, I must keep walking. Water flows downhill. The stream will take me to the river, and the river will take me home.Except it wouldn't, not truly. Meereen was not her home, and never would be. It was a city of strange men with strange gods and stranger hair, of slavers wrapped in fringed tokars, where grace was earned through whoring, butchery was art, and dog was a delicacy. Meereen would always be the Harpy's city, and Daenerys could not be a harpy.” - Dany X, ADwD
“For home. Home was all I ever wanted.” - Dany X, ADwD
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Shade of the Evening Tree... I would bet money it does this.
The Shade of the Evening Tree... it’s the Essosi version of the Weirwood except inversed in a dark and creepy kind of way. Our writer loves to use symbolism and literary devices to drop clues from time to time...something he does well and does often. There have been many inversions and parallels drawn between the Essosi Shade of the Evening tree and the Westerosi Weirwood noted by readers throughout the fandom.  Today we are going to discuss a possible connection between these two trees and speculate on the enigmatic oily black stones peppered throughout the ASOIAF mythos and worldbuilding.  Before we get started I need to disclose that spoilers from the Forsaken and Arianne chapters will be discussed.  Now let’s get started.
Blackwood / Weirwood
You don’t have to look hard to see the what our writer is doing with these two magical trees.  One only has to look at how the two are described.  We have white trees with red leaves and black trees with blue leaves; this seems ostensibly contradicting and opposing at first glance from a sheer aesthetic point of view.  There are however some striking similarities as both trees are magical and have the potential to both extend life and provide visions.
What has especially captured the attention of the fandom is how our author has chosen to describe the tasting experience of the two trees vision inducing byproducts. There is an eerie similarity that cannot be denied.  For example, here we have Danny ingesting Shade of the Evening:
“The first sip tasted like ink and spoiled meat, foul, but when she swallowed it seemed to come to life within her. She could feel tendrils spreading through her chest, like fingers of fire coiling around her heart, and on her tongue was a taste like honey and anise and cream, like mother’s milk and Drogo’s seed, like red meat and hot blood and molten gold. It was all the tastes she had ever known, and none of them””
And now Bran with weirwood paste:
“The first spoonful was the hardest to get down.  He almost retched it right back up. The second tasted better. The third was almost sweet. The rest he spooned up eagerly. Why had he thought that it was bitter? It tasted of honey, of new-fallen snow, of pepper and cinnamon and the last kiss his mother ever gave him.”
Interestingly, in addition to there being vision inducing trees located in Essos, there was also once a race of small, shy forest folk called woods walkers or Ifequevron who once inhabited the Essosi mainland. 
Immediately south of Ib itself, a densely wooded region that had formerly been the home of a small, shy forest folk. Some say that the Ibbenese extinguished this gentle race, whilst others believe they went into hiding in the deeper woods or fled to other lands. The Dothraki still call the great forest along the northern coast the Kingdom of the Ifequevron, the name by which they knew the vanished forest-dwellers. The fabled Sea Snake, Corlys Velaryon, Lord of the Tides, was the first Westerosi to visit these woods. After his return from the Thousand Islands, he wrote of carved trees, haunted grottoes, and strange silences.  A later traveler, the merchant-adventurer Bryan of Oldtown, captain of the cog Spearshaker, provided an account of his own journey across the Shivering Sea. He reported that the Dothraki name for the lost people meant “those who walk in the woods.”  
TWOIAF further goes on to hint that the Dothraki horselords shunned the forests either from reverence for vanished wood walkers, or because they feared their powers and Corlys Velaryon even reported finding ‘carved trees’ in their forests. Another hint we have of a forgotten CotF-type presence can be found in the secretive peoples of the great and holy Isle of Leng. A people who are known for their large golden eyes, keen eyesight/night vision and their subterranean gods known as the ‘old ones’ lurking beneath the earth. This bit of information we have of the people of Leng has caused speculation of a possible mixture of bloodlines between the natives and the CotF in the ancient past.  Knowing there was a CotF-type presence in Essos, it is quite possible the black barked relative of the weirwood was a part of that magic from years gone by.
 “It will have turned to stone”
So we can see a possibility that the white barked trees of Westeros and the black barked trees of Essos could be lighter and darker versions of one another so to speak.  Now this is where it gets interesting: We know the weirwood petrifies when it dies, pretty simple to comprehend, the trees don't rot they just turn to stone...
 “For a thousand years it has not shown a leaf. In another thousand it will have turned to stone, the maesters say. Weirwoods never rot.”
That was some Tytos Blackwood wisdom for you there. Yes, a guy named Blackwood gave us that little nugget.  Knowing the weirwood turns to stone, if the trees are somehow relatives of each other the same logic could likely apply to the darker version of this tree. Basically, if the white stuff petrifies then the black stuff does too.  So, imagine for a moment what black wood actually becomes when it is petrified…it becomes black stone.
Let’s continue this train of thought and ponder the most mentioned relic of black stone we have in the series, the Seastone chair.  As I mentioned in the beginning, our writer likes to use some symbolism every now and then to drop clues…
Then she saw it: an uprooted tree, huge and dark, coming straight at them. A tangle of roots and limbs poked up out of the water as it came, like the reaching arms of a great kraken.
  “No.” Aeron Damphair did not weigh his words. “Only a godly man may sit the Seastone Chair. The Crow’s Eye worships naught but his own pride.”
Let’s look at the very first time we see someone drink Shade of the evening:
Dany raised the glass to her lips. The first sip tasted like ink and spoiled meat, foul, but when she swallowed it seemed to come to life within her. She could feel tendrils spreading through her chest, like fingers of fire coiling around her heart"
Our writer decided to hide two little hints in our first view of this sorcerous drink, but before Dany actually partakes in the wine of the Warlocks, we are introduced to the grove of shade trees Dany sees outside the HotU.
Long and low, without towers or windows, it coiled like a stone serpent through a grove of black-barked trees whose inky blue leaves made the stuff of the sorcerous drink the Qartheen called shade of the evening. No other buildings stood near. Black tiles covered the palace roof, many fallen or broken; the mortar between the stones was dry and crumbling. She understood now why Xaro Xhoan Daxos called it the Palace of Dust. Even Drogon seemed disquieted by the sight of it. The black dragon hissed, smoke seeping out between his sharp teeth. “Blood of my blood,” Jhogo said in Dothraki, “this is an evil place, a haunt of ghosts and maegi. See how it drinks the morning sun? Let us go before it drinks us as well.” Ser Jorah Mormont came up beside them. “What power can they have if they live in that?” “Heed the wisdom of those who love you best,” said Xaro Xhoan Daxos, lounging inside the palanquin. “Warlocks are bitter creatures who eat dust and drink of shadows.
The wording here is interesting, if you have noticed, the Qartheen warns Dany that the warlocks ‘drink shadows’ and the Dothraki are disquieted by the way the place ‘drinks the morning sun’.  If these words seem familiar, you will notice it is echoed in TWOIAF when Asshai in the shadowlands is described.
“Some say as well that the stone of Asshai has a greasy, unpleasant feel to it, that it seems to drink the light, dimming tapers and torches and hearth fires alike.
Asshai is a haunt of sorcerers known for a ridiculous amount of black oily stone. The city is supposedly made entirely of the stuff and is said to be the size of Volantis, Qarth, King’s Landing, and Oldtown put together.  For some reason Asshai is still much a mystery to maesters and readers alike.  The sheer mass of the materials required tends to rule out most opinions and theories.  What you may find interesting however, is there is a high possibility Asshai was once a very fertile and forested area much like Yeng and Yi Ti.  If you take a glance at a map, you will see that in the past Asshai would have been a part of a forest/jungle fertile that would have stretched from Sothoryos and the Basilisk Isles all the way to Ulthos.
Another thing that I do want to draw your attention to is Ulthos, a land mass just as close to Asshai as any settlement found in Essos. This nearby land mass is a heavily jungled area that is a noticeably distinct color than any of the other forested areas on the map of the known world.  Recently /u/Werthead on Reddit published a tremendous undertaking of his Atlas of Ice and Fire which piqued my interest because the atlas mentions that the jungles of Ulthos are specifically purple-black in coloring on the map.  When I asked for his reference he pointed me to the actual mapmaker Jonathan Roberts who, on his fantastic maps website, mentions that the jungles of Ulthos are in fact meant to be depicted as purple-black in coloring.  I think it is highly possible this was not artistic license and was part of the guidance provided by our writer who commissioned his maps, but who knows, maybe the artist decided it would be good to have a purple-black colored jungle.  The purple part is somewhat confusing, but the black coloring of this tree depot next to Asshai, it has my attention.
Despite Ulthos being extremely close in proximity to Asshai, the possibility exists they were once even closer.  As we have noticed, there are some hints the sea level was lower at some point in the ancient past.  The Thousand Isles, the Neck and the Arm of Dorne are just a few examples.  One detail I would also point to is the artwork for Asshai in TWOIAF.  In the worldbook, it appears Asshai is a half-drowned city.  Again, I’m not sure if the artist just decided that Asshai should be half-drowned in appearance without any guidance, but there is definitely something there.  So not only is it quite possible Asshai was part of a forested and fertile crescent, but there is also the possibility this massive “purple-black” jungle was located closer to Asshai in the ancient past than we realize.
The years pass in their hundreds and their thousands, and what does any man see of life but a few summers, a few winters? We look at mountains and call them eternal, and so they seem … but in the course of time, mountains rise and fall, rivers change their courses, stars fall from the sky, and great cities sink beneath the sea. Even gods die, we think. Everything changes. -Maester Luwin to Bran
I know what you are thinking, if a shade tree were to truly petrify what are the mechanics that would cause it to be oily? If this is the same stuff, it has to be oily or become oily in some form or fashion. Well as it turns out, Shade of the Evening is also described as OILY.
The Crow’s Eye filled two cups with a strange black wine that flowed as thick as honey. “Drink with me, brother. Have a taste of this.” He offered one of the cups to Victarion. The captain took the cup Euron had not offered, sniffed at its contents suspiciously. Seen up close, it looked more blue than black. It was thick and oily, with a smell like rotted flesh. He tried a small swallow, and spit it out at once. “Foul stuff. Do you mean to poison me?”  
Current storyline significance
From here we now have pondered the possibility of what could be the origins for the black oily stone.  Now let’s look at another quote and see what we make of it:
Though Aeron clamped his mouth shut, twisting his head from side to side he fought as best he could, but in the end he had to choke or swallow. The dreams were even worse the second time. He saw the longships of the Ironborn adrift and burning on a boiling blood-red sea. He saw his brother on the Iron Throne again, but Euron was no longer human. He seemed more squid than man, a monster fathered by a kraken of the deep, his face a mass of writhing tentacles.
This last quote is somewhat confusing to some readers as this plainly looks like some straight up Lovecraft monster reference, but remember that Euron is kind of a Shade of the Evening junkie so to speak and Shade of the Evening is basically a brother from another mother to Weirwood paste... and what does weirwood paste do? It weds you to the tree, the writhing tentacles is a greenseer/tree man symbol in Aeron’s dream. See for yourself: 
Your blood makes you a greenseer,” said Lord Brynden. “This will help awaken your gifts and wed you to the trees.” Bran did not want to be married to a tree … but who else would wed a broken boy like him? A thousand eyes, a hundred skins, wisdom deep as the roots of ancient trees. A greenseer. 
  The sight of him still frightened Bran— the weirwood roots snaking in and out of his withered flesh, the mushrooms sprouting from his cheeks, the white wooden worm that grew from the socket where one eye had been. He liked it better when the torches were put out.
So, the Shade of the Evening vision basically showed Aeron what his brother actually is... a terrible man with wisdom as deep as the roots of ancient trees… but we are not done yet.
Let's talk about some hairy men for a minute.  The hairy men were kind of everywhere when you look at the text of TWOIAF at least in central and western Essos.  I noticed that there was once a forest inhabited by these CotF-type woods walkers who came into direct contact with the hairy men and not in the diplomatic kind of way. More in the, I am going to commit genocide, take your land and bleed your resources type of way:  
 The God-Kings of Ib, before their fall, did succeed in conquering and colonizing a huge swathe of northern Essos immediately south of Ib itself, a densely wooded region that had formerly been the home of a small, shy forest folk. Some say that the Ibbenese extinguished this gentle race, whilst others believe they went into hiding in the deeper woods or fled to other lands.
  At its greatest extent, the Ibbenese foothold on Essos was as large as Ib itself and far richer. More and more of the hairy men crossed over from the islands to make their fortunes there, cutting down the trees to put the land under the plow, damming the rivers and streams, mining the hills
It is safe to say the Ibbenese didn't get along well with this forest folk that worshipped the black wood trees.  In fact, it seems like the Ibbenese kind of persecuted them in a sense and cut down a bunch of their trees and the maesters even theorize the Ibbenese caused the woods-walkers extinction.  That’s bad right?
What made my eyes completely bug out of their sockets was this line:
The eunuch drew a parchment from his sleeve. “A kraken has been seen off the Fingers.”  He giggled. “Not a Greyjoy, mind you, a true kraken. It attacked an Ibbenese whaler and pulled it under.
So, a "kraken" has pulled under an Ibbenese whaler...makes sense now doesn't it?  Tree roots can look like the reaching arms of a kraken as our writer has pointed out.  This has caused me to speculate that there indeed might be something under the sea.  I think there might be a good chance there is a network of huge roots, which could be why there is the Greensee/Green sea pun that ravenous reader has pointed out in the Westeros.org forums and explains why Patchface came back from the depths with the gift of prophetic vision.  And here is why… detailed in one of Aeron's Shade of the Evening trips:
“Urri!” he cried. There is no hinge here, no door, no Urri. His brother Urrigon was long dead, yet there he stood. One arm was black and swollen, stinking with maggots, but he was still Urri, still a boy, no older than the day he died.  “You know what waits below the sea, brother?”  “The Drowned God,” Aeron said, “the watery halls.”  Urri shook his head. “Worms... worms await you, Aeron.”
In Aeron's dream, Urri is telling him there is no Drowned God, no watery halls, just worms, worms await him.  From what we have seen in the House of the Undying, shade visions are supposed to be cryptic and somewhat prophetic in nature right?  So, what if there is actually something that looks similar to worms or the reaching arms of a kraken under the sea?  Let’s take a peek:
The way the shadows shifted made it seem as if the walls were moving too. Bran saw great white snakes slithering in and out of the earth around him, and his heart thumped in fear. He wondered if they had blundered into a nest of milk snakes or giant grave worms, soft and pale and squishy.  
  The sight of him still frightened Bran— the weirwood roots snaking in and out of his withered flesh, the mushrooms sprouting from his cheeks, the white wooden worm that grew from the socket where one eye had been.
I guess this means we may actually get to see this play out in the chapters due to whatever Euron is doing at the moment.  According to the Arianne I sample chapter there are ‘krakens’ stirring around the Arm of Dorne being drawn to blood of the current hostilities and our Shade of the Evening drinking Euron has something planned in his upcoming battle with the Redwyne and Hightower fleet.  So yeah maybe there will be an Eldrich Apocalypse of sorts, just not the kind most were expecting.  
Before moving on, we are going to take this idea and look at two cultures in Essos who both fear the sea: The Thousand Isles and the Dothraki.  As we have read, the maesters suggest the Thousand Isles is something of a drowned kingdom that has been reduced to hundreds of scattered islands. Before the Thousand Isles were drowned, it was most likely connected to the dark forests of Mossovy ”.   A place whispered to be the haunt of shapechangers.  Additionally, the Dothraki whom the maesters hint could fear the Ifequevron also have a very real fear the sea and will not even plow the earth. 
Ebony and Weirwood
So, let’s back up for a moment and take a look at ebony. There have been many in the forums who have drawn attention to hints of the relationship between the two sets of trees through the writer’s use of ‘ebony’ and weirwood.  These hints are casually floated in front of our faces in the shape of weirwood and ebony doors seen in both the House of Black and White and the House of the Undying.
In the real-world ebony is a black wood of a few species that is so dense and heavy that it sinks or ‘drowns’ in water. Each time our characters encounter ebony, I’m not sure if they can distinguish one type of black wood from another when it comes certain items. It is kind of a tinge of the unreliable narrator that our writer uses from time to time; just like when Bran sees Jaime and Cersei wrestling naked. He is familiar with wrestling, so they are wrestling.  You see, characters might easily have difficulty categorizing a wood that they have never seen before and are unfamiliar with.  The shade of the evening tree is not seen in Westeros or the Free Cities that we have seen, so far, so what makes us so certain our characters can identify it when they happen across seeing it? Basically, they think they see ebony and so ebony is how it is described. 
“At the top she found a set of carved wooden doors twelve feet high. The left-hand door was made of weirwood pale as bone, the right of gleaming ebony. In their center was a carved moon face; ebony on the weirwood side, weirwood on the ebony. The look of it reminded her somehow of the heart tree in the godswood at Winterfell. The doors are watching me, she thought.”
Here we have ebony and weirwood superimposed and contrasting one another with a carved face that does an excellent job reminding Arya (and the reader) of the heart tree in Winterfell.  Pretty simple symbolism, basically black tree/white tree=heart tree. 
In addition to Arya, Dany experienced a similar door in the House of the Undying: 
To her right, a set of wide wooden doors had been thrown open. They were fashioned of ebony and weirwood, the black and white grains swirling and twisting in strange interwoven patterns. They were very beautiful, yet somehow frightening. The blood of the dragon must not be afraid. 
It seems the writer is trying to describe these doors as an allusion to being made of one wood.  Notice how the wording makes it seem as if they were not mechanically pieced together from two different types of wood with descriptions such as the grains twisting and swirling?  The description itself makes it seem almost as if it is made from the same slab of wood.  This imagery makes a great deal of logic knowing there is a black barked tree with similar qualities to weirwood and were possibly one species at one time before they split in their evolution.  Later, shade drinking Dany is fittingly given further symbolism in Mereen as she is sitting equivalent of an Essosi weirwood throne, an ebony bench.  Also, TWOIAF mentions that the people of Asshai ride around in palanquins made of ebony…hmm... must be an abundance of that stuff somewhere nearby. 
There is also another set of doors that should be mentioned although not as enigmatic. We also have ebony and weirwood doors all the way back in Game of Thrones at the forge of Tobho Mott, our friendly neighborhood Qohorik.  This one is a little trickier, but it gets cleared up in TWOIAF. 
Qohor stands on the river Qhoyne on the western edge of the vast, dark, primordial forest to which she gives her name, the greatest wood in all of Essos.
  The Forest of Qohor also yields up furs and pelts of all kinds, many rare and fine and highly prized, as well as silver, tin, and amber. The vast forest has never been fully explored, according to the maps and scrolls at the Citadel, and it likely conceals many mysteries and wonders at its heart.
  The artisans of Qohor are far famed. Qohorik tapestries, woven primarily by the women and children of the city, are just as fine as those woven in Myr, though less costly. Exquisite (if somewhat disturbing) wood carvings can be bought in Qohor’s market, and the city’s forges have no peer.
We also learn of the God of Qohor, the Black Goat.  A deity that requires daily blood sacrifice, and is frequently mentioned when the Lion of Night is mentioned.
“And many names,” the kindly man had said. “In Qohor he is the Black Goat, in Yi Ti the Lion of Night, in Westeros the Stranger.
  “Warlocks, wizards, alchemists, moonsingers, red priests, black alchemists, necromancers, aeromancers, pyromancers, bloodmages, torturers, inquisitors, poisoners, godswives, night-walkers, shapechangers, worshippers of the Black Goat and the Pale Child and the Lion of Night, all find welcome in Asshai-by-the-Shadow, where nothing is forbidden.”
  Beyond her was a man with a lion’s head seated on a throne, carved of ebony. On the other side of the doors, a huge horse of bronze and iron reared up on two great legs. Farther on she could make out a great stone face, a pale infant with a sword, a shaggy black goat the size of an aurochs, a hooded man leaning on a staff.
Basically, Qohor is known for its special wood being the largest forest in Essos and which is described as not fully explored and primordial.  Additionally, what I am seeing with the Black Goat is a deity that is worshipped in the most heavily forested area in Essos, is a fan of blood sacrifice (like a heart tree) and is often associated with another deity that is depicted in the House of Black and White as carved out of ebony…oh yes, and their worshippers can find refuge in Asshai, go figure.
Also, in Lovecraft mythos, Shub-Niggurath is known as the Black Goat of the Woods.  But wait!! What about all of the Lovecraft references? Isn’t C’thulhu coming for the Redwynes? No, but the trees are.
Lovecraft and the Old Gods
The Lovecraft references peppered throughout the story do seem to focus on some watery stuff going on, but there are other Lovecraft nods that cannot be explained with a watery hall.  These places include Ib, Qohor with its Black Goat, N'Gai with its underground city, and the Sarnori are a few examples.  I believe the Lovecraft references could be, at least in part, referring to Old Gods presence surrounding the Long Night narrative. As you can see…  
Ib:
Ib is mentioned quite a few times in this post pertaining to Huzhor Amai and the destruction of the Ifequevron. Ib is also mentioned in "The Doom that Came to Sarnath", Ib was an ancient civilization destroyed by Sarnath. Interestingly, the Sarnori and the Ibbenese also fought in the ancient past.  
Leng:
As previously mentioned, Leng is also has some possible links to the Old Gods with their golden cat eyes, night vision, subterranean gods and blood sacrifice. Leng is possibly inspired by the Plateau of Leng mentioned in various Lovecraft stories.
The Black Goat:
The Black Goat is of course mentioned above in Lovecraft terms is known as “The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young", "The Black Goat of the Woods", and "The Lord of the Wood".
Sarnor/Sarnath:
TWOIAF mentions that the Sarnori got into more than a few skirmishes with the Ibbenese and their Long Night hero, Huzor Amai, “wore the pelt of the king of the hairy men" so he may have been in conflict with them or even descended from them. Awhile back, I also read an excellent thread that provided a very reasonable argument that the Lengii may possibly descend from the tall men or proto-tall men also known as the peoples of Sarnor.
N’Gai:
N'Gai's capital Nefer is an underground city located next to the Mossovy forest which is said to be full of shapechangers. Coincidentally, the N’Gai also have a Long Night hero of their own Neferion. In Lovecraft legend, N'Kai is an underground dominion where Tsathoggua is said to sleep.
The Iron Islands:
The Iron Islands are another drowned area with Lovecraft nods and with their own Azor Ahai like figure and black oily stone. The Grey King literally has weirwood in his legend as he slew the pale demonic flesh eating tree Ygg. The Iron islands of course also have various references such as characters named Dagon, and religious mantras such as “what is dead may never die”.
Stygai:
Stygai is a part of the Shadowlands right next door to Asshai which has black oily stone and a Long Night Hero of its own and was most likely fertile and forested in the ancient past. This is possibly inspired by Stygia from the Conan stories (influenced by Lovecraft) It is a city where magic is strong with promises of sorcery and witchcraft for scholars and dabbling warlocks. It is said a dark shadow has been cast along this land for centuries.
The Church of Starry Wisdom:
This church was founded by the Bloodstone Emperor, possibly another version of a Long Night hero such as Azor Ahai. In Lovecraft’s world, the Cult of Starry Wisdom is from "The Haunter of the Dark".  
The Isle Of Toads:
This is a site of a black greasy stone statue, similar to various Lovecraft stories where there are statues of black or greenish stone with aquatic like aspects. The Isle of Toads is located in the same forested/jungled fertile crescent that contains Sothoryos, Yi Ti, Leng and Ulthos.
 In essence, Lovecraft wasn’t just about C’thulhu, he had a whole slew of different Gods with various aspects. The thing that Lovecraft did with many of these deities is refer to them as the "old ones" and the "elder gods". What our author is doing is GRRM is at various Lovecraft lore and carefully throwing these Easter eggs out there because he has his own version of old ones/elder gods… these are the Old Gods… and in his world they are the trees.
GRRM has done everything possible to make the Shade tree an Essosi Weirwood, so if the white stuff petrifies, the black stuff probably does too.
If I had money to bet...I'd place it on the warlock tree taking a note from its Westerosi cousin.
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Tall, though not so tall as Eomer, Lord Boromir appears like most from Minas Tirith: brown skinned, black haired, and silver eyed. His profile is chiseled from granite and his gaze never rests anywhere without purpose. There is much going on behind the grim surface. Grima safely contends that Boromir is one of the most capable leaders of the free world. 
Something he put to Saruman: And Denethor and his sons? If any can stand up to the might of Sauron with any success, it is them. 
It had been early on in all of this. Two years ago, a summer’s day. Grima standing in Orthanc’s fields that had once been green. 
Saruman had been asking philosophically, hypothetically, if Sauron were to win, what would happen to Rohan? And Grima had explained that he didn’t like to think about Eomarc’s future in that direction. 
Theoden was a sturdy and capable king in his day. 
Grima nodded, yes yes. He had been. 
I assume Theodred is the same, the wizard continued with a voice like well-aged mead. Rich, sweet, and complex. But its complexity is something you don’t notice until after the fact. You’ve swallowed a mouthful then think: oh. 
Theodred means well. 
That isn’t high praise, son of Galmod, for your future king. 
I speak as I find. 
Then it went to Gondor and Denethor and his sons, both of whom are easily twice the men Theodred is, and Saruman said: Denethor will fall before the end. I have looked and I see nothing there but flames. 
A pause. 
Saruman added, Indeed, I see nothing but flames for all who stand up against Sauron. But, that’s neither here nor there. I have held you here too long. Your patient master will be waiting. Why, you’re veritably a member of the family, are you not? 
I’m advisor and law-speaker. 
But you’ve been in the household for years, I understand. 
Yes, my lord. Over a decade. 
Saruman’s elegant shrug. I would consider you family, by that point. But, alas, I am not a king. Perhaps these things are different. Don’t let me keep you. But do return, I enjoy our conversations. 
Saruman you sneaky bastard. 
Saruman: What is it that you want? Safety and a sense of belonging? Are you just a black hole of wanting to be loved? Excellent. Good. Perfect. I will not at all manipulate that to my advantage. 
Grima, saddest fuck in Middle Earth. This remains regardless the AU - but in the Eomer & Grima Team Up and Scheme fic we see more of Saruman’s “love-bombing,” for lack of a better word. 
-
In other news, everyone in Rohan is a member of the Boromir fanclub
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‘Ah, but I’m cunning as an old fox,’ Eomer insists. ‘You can ask Grima. He likes to derisively refer to me as an adder from time to time.’ 
‘I would never do such a thing, my lord,’ Grima replies. 
Boromir smiles, but it’s the faint smile of a courtier unsure of a joke. 
‘Asp,’ Eomer continues. ‘You said I was an asp. Because it sounds like —’ 
‘I believe Lord Boromir doesn’t need a detailed account of our unfortunate conversations.’ 
who let these two run a country??
Grima: EOMER, REALLY?
Eomer: WHAT?? IT’S TRUE!
Grima: I AM MORE MATURE THAN THAT. YOU ON THE OTHER HAND-- 
Boromir:
Boromir: I’m going to leave for Imladris now, thank you.
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So in my Eomer and Grima Team Up and Scheme fic, Grima’s right-hand-man, his girl-friday, is a middle-aged family man with more children than income and a tendency to tell long winded stories about his in-laws. 
Because I find it inherently funny to have Grima working with really ordinary, run of the mill people. 
Grima: [Scheming and being a double agent.]
Eadric: [Talking for half an hour about how his daughter has just turned eight and she’s tall for her age and she’s doing well at her lessons]
Grima: You know I don’t care right. 
Eadric: Ethel says that I am to tell ‘the black-robed ghost man’ that she says hello. 
Grima: 
Grima: honestly, that’s an improvement so far as epithets go. Ghost Man. I’ll allow it. Anyway, I want you to follow Theodred around. 
Eadric: 
Eadric: I deamnd a raise. 
Grima: I’m not made of money. 
Eadric dithers on making his report. Grima lets the man take his time as he finally leads them up to the golden hall. But, instead of heading inside Grima diverts them around to the western wall where afternoon sun hits, warming the wood. Favouring the deeply cut tunic sleeves, Grima slips his hand in one and withdraws a pipe and from his belt a small bag of tobacco. 
Eadric explains something about his father-in-law and a horse race he lost money on. 
Grima smokes. 
Eadric says that his daughter turns seven in two weeks so he went out to fetch her a present. Hair ribbons. She wants blue ones. 
Grima exhales a small ring. 
This was supposed to be a serious political scheming fic but it’s just turning mildly comedic. 
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Fyrfot is in a mood today so he’s wanting to prance about; he’s wanting to dance up and down the road in little bursts of canter and trot and canter and now we slow down because there is a bush that is apparently of interest. 
‘He’s in a mood,’ Eomer remarks. 
Eothain slouches in his saddle. Eight years older than Eomer, married, and with a daughter, he is eager to return home but also knows how to take life easily. Or, more easily than Eomer can take life. 
The world, he finds, is very fast and he must always be active lest it escape him and leave him behind. He’s explained this to his friend and Eothain had said, Sometimes you have to sit still and the world will sit with you. 
Eomer has never managed this. Banging about, that’s how Grima describes it. You bang about, in and out like a gale through a barn. 
And Serpent & Horse Lord has an Eomer POV so we will have the blessing of seeing both Grima AND Eomer being stupid about each in real-time. Also scheming. 
Grima’s POV: These are all the ways I’m hedging my bets, manipulating the situation to my advantage as much as I can, and my slightly dodgy motives. 
Eomer’s POV: I just ... feel like maybe Rohan deserves more than she has and I love her and her people so much it’s stupid. I would do anything for them. 
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Theoden’s chambers are warm — in colour and temperature. The walls wooden paneled, decorated with animals and plants and mythical beings from old legends. Covering that are tapestries of Eomarc’s history: Eorl and the Oath, Helm Hammerhand and the fortress, the Union of the Ten Tribes from before Eorl’s time. That being one of the earliest stories of their people. 
At the centre of the room, a fire burns strong in the circular hearth. Positioned around it, several stools and chairs between which are low tables. In Theoden’s livelier days, they would be covered in cards, dice, books sent from Gondor, little sketches and drawings for the king enjoyed attempting his hand at draughtsmanship and, to Grima’s limited knowledge on the matter, seemed to have a keen eye for it. 
Another lifetime, Theoden always said to him. Another lifetime I’m a draughtsman. And you? If you could choose another occupation than the one life has found for you?
I couldn’t say, my lord. There is precious little I take pleasure in, aside from what I do now. 
You write. I’ve seen you scribbling away in your little journals. What is it? Poetry? No, not you. Treatises, perhaps. In the Gondor style. On statesmanship or the craft of being a courtier. 
Grima hid his blushes by drinking wine and saying, vaguely, It’s nothing of any import or quality, my lord. 
Tell me, Theoden was ever a gentle coaxer of information. 
Translations. Some of our stories into my mother’s language. Also, perhaps, a few musings on the craft of translation. What is the role of the translator. How should one approach the art. But nothing of any depth or insight. 
Theoden sat back, pulled a paper over to sketch across, and said with dry amusement, Oh I doubt that. I doubt that very much. 
Once again, Grima being like: I DON’T NEED NO FATHER FIGURE IN MY LIFE. 
Theoden: have you tried letting in kindness?
Grima: SOUNDS LIKE A FAKE THING. SO NO. 
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Eadric slides up alongside Grima on his horse with a hood slouched low over his face. It is early morning and Grima is trying to find peace outside Edoras’ walls and hamlets and farmland that surrounds the great city. So, he has taken Saewine out for an airing past past past everything. 
Dangerously so, perhaps. But he is not overly concerned for his own safety. It is a beautiful July day and the sun already threatens the world with too much heat. Grima enjoys this, wants to soak it up like a lizard on a rock. 
‘I’ve news,’ Eadric says without a greeting. He looks over his shoulder in an  increasingly nervous fashion. 
‘Try to be less obvious,’ snaps Grima. ‘I’m out for a ride and maybe I will bag a rabbit for the pot. What are you doing?’ 
‘Making sure wargs don’t eat you.’ 
‘How kind.’ It’s sneered. But Eadric has a daughter who is fourteen and a son who is sixteen. He is well versed in the art of ignoring sneers. 
Good news everyone, Grima is a sixteen year old brat and Saewine is alive and well in the Eomer & Grima Team Up To Scheme AU. 
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Grima is going off the rails in his nerdiness in the Team Up & Scheme AU
Eomer: are ... you writing a dissertation on translation?
Grima:
Grima: perhaps.
Eomer:
Eomer: is this before or after the coup?
Grima:
Grima: I can multitask.
Eomer:
Eomer: right. Carry on then.
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‘And the wargs - Sauron?’ 
Eadric says, yes, yes it’s Sauron. Only, well, maybe. He shifts in his saddle to lean over and tug something out of a bag. ‘This was brought to me. It’s a helmet of one of the orcs from the warg raids.’ 
The item glints in sun and Grima can see, emblazoned on the front as clear as clouds in the sky, the white hand of Saruman. 
‘That’s absurd,’ Grima says. 
‘It’s Saruman’s emblem, isn’t it?’ 
‘Yes,’ Grima takes the helmet and turns it over. It is clearly from Orthanc, he recognizes the design and make. ‘But Saruman’s an ally. He’d not work with this sort. Let alone against us.’ 
Eadric’s nerves return. He again takes to casting anxious glances in all directions. Dropping his voice to a whisper he asks, ‘So what do you think it is? Has Saruman turned against us? Or is Sauron trying to sow discord.’ 
‘Most likely the latter than the former. I can’t see Saruman going rogue, can you?’ 
Grima you lying, sneaky bastard. 
Look at you go, you little man. Scheme, my spooky snake man, scheme. 
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