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crystallinechaos · 1 year

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Hello, all you lovelies! I have been writing this little fiction for a few months now. I figured I'd start sharing it here as well, one chapter at a time, that way others could see and may e enjoy. Ff7 situation of a modern woman falling into the world of Midgar, before it all went to hell. Hope you enjoy! Of course, I'll post the link to the main story as well, in case you want to just read it all.

Here is the link to Death was only the Beginning

Chapter 1

For anyone curious about the whole "do you feel it when you die" question, I can answer you. Least about my specific death. I felt it. But in all honestly, I "felt" it in a somewhat impersonal way.

I more remember the way the windshield cracked, like a hundred fine spider webs inside it. I remember the noise of the car too. Metal grinding and crackling. I'm honestly glad I don't remember the way it all felt. I don't really consider myself a masochist. I wouldn't have enjoyed knowing or cataloging broken bones or gushes of blood.

It was bad enough what I do remember. The most terrifying was the fact I was there… or had been there. And then I simply wasn't. I didn't have a form anymore; I couldn't see the red tinted world of my shattered vehicle anymore.

You know how you aren't aware of your physical body until you are? Until something jogs your brain into hard-core thinking. Like being randomly hyper aware of your hands, or how you move when you dance? Or how you get a little too up in your walking ability when you're walking by a hot guy?

Okay, I admit the last one might just be me. Anyway, I lost all that in a single second. Talk about eye openers. I couldn't feel my physical body. I couldn't see anything. I reached and reached but there wasn't anything there.

I'm not too big to admit I was terrified. It took a long time to calm down after that. Especially when I realized my terror had no noise. I felt such fear, yet couldn't make a single actual noise.

All I can explain it as is… was a warm kind of darkness, if that makes any sense. At the time I had no idea what I was or where I was. Was this seriously death? Absolutely nothing? Boy, did everyone back home have it all wrong. Maybe my brain wasn't dead yet, and that's all that was happening.

Such thoughts were my comfort zone. I wanted an explanation more than I wanted it to end. Like I said… the dark was warm somehow, and at times I felt a pressure, like something was pressing on me. This happened more and more frequently. They were a guarantee when my thoughts had me in a panic. Slowly I began to regard that pressure as a kind of friend. It was really the only difference in my dark death.

Really, my heaven wasn't great. And if I was in the other place, where was my torture? This place had an ambivalence I both clung to and loathed. Sure, death was weird and I wanted something, ANYTHING, to happen. But I was also terrified about what it would be.

So, the days passed, slowly. I didn't know which way was up even, always just assuming I was in an upright position. I thought fancifully that I could feel my body again at times. I would feel an urge to roll over and would follow through, until I remembered I couldn't do that anymore.

Phantom limb pain, maybe? I brushed it off.

Until it kept happening. The thing is, it didn't feel like my old body. It felt foreign and wrong, and I didn't like it. I wondered then if maybe I wasn't dead. Maybe I was in a coma. That could explain the disconnect but not my blank world. I could rationalize the dark, but couldn't help feeling ripped off. In the movies, a coma patient wandered the hospital or some shit. Though in the end I'd be grateful when I woke up.

Coma was a hundred times better than dead, after all. Sure, my friends and family would be worried but damn! Least they wouldn't need to plan a funeral or mourn a bloodied caricature of who I was in a coffin.

I thought about that car, my cherry red Honda, and felt bitter. I'd loved that car. It had little stuffed turtles on the back windshield and a golden snitch hanging from the mirror. Geeky sure. Worse was I was still paying on it. I wondered bleakly if it'd been totaled or could be salvaged if I sunk myself into a hole of debt.

Light started flickering across my dark little world. Not often, and that was how I became acutely aware I had eyes. I couldn't blink for some annoying reason, so my relief was not easily won. When it flashed by again, I felt indignant and put upon, to the point I imagined I kicked out. Call me crazy but at the time I was confused as hell when it felt like I had legs and feet, and that I connected with something. Something soft and somewhat pliable.

The pressure returned right over my newly discovered feet and it blocked out the light so I was grateful. The pressure was almost… stroking? It shifted side to side and I was curious. Suddenly more curious than I had been since my coma or death. Fingers crossed for coma.

I pressed back for the first time knowingly and felt almost… something lighter. Like happiness was suddenly dumped in on me, and maybe I heard light laughter.

I began to interact more. Sue me, I was bored. Curiosity could kill this cat, since I was already sure I was either dead or incapacitated. I needed some fun.

Things started happening rapidly after that. Whenever I felt the pressure, I made sure to press back. Finally, another development. I began to realize the varying pressures were different pressures. Different… entities?

I found my favorite was the smallest one, pressing so lightly as though nervous, then firming down when I responded. The next best was the most frequent, that would be accompanied by laughter or what I thought were soft words. I found myself straining to try and understand. Sometimes it sounded almost sleepy, the soft little murmur, others happy and nearly singing.

It seems stupid, but I really believed these were my family members and friends, come to visit during my comatose state. More and more I became more accepting of this body I had, rolling and tumbling through my dark world with occasional shimmers of light. More and more I began to realize my darkness wasn't endless. The cushy limitless dark that I thought I'd been rolling through seemed to become smaller and smaller.

Finally, it was too tight almost. I began to feel suffocated, and couldn't help pushing against it more vehemently. I wasn't some acrobat that could fit in tiny spaces for fuck sakes!

Then… there were screams. The dark suddenly started contracting against me, squishing and releasing for what felt like hours. I couldn't stop myself as I slid forward and found myself stuck. I don't think I'd ever felt so scared. When I felt more persistent pressure against me, I fought, pushing away and wriggling about. The screams continued for a while before weakening.

More time passed and I couldn't tell what was happening. The small space continued to contract and I felt what might have been a small opening so I tried to shift forward and go through it. Anything was better than staying in this dark claustrophobic place.

The next phase I honestly wish I could forget. To say being reborn is an experience isn't a lie at all. There were a lot of… fluids, and an embarrassing smack along my bottom that frankly, enraged me. It hadn't clicked I was now a literal baby yet. I was more freaked by how everyone was so tall and there I was… a seeming puppy being held by giants.

Then the red tint was cleared from my rapidly blinking eyes by a soft cloth and I was placed in the arms of a tired, yet still radiant woman. I can't explain the immediate connection I felt to her. Her hair was like spun gold and her blue eyes danced with emotion I found I couldn't trace out.

A tall man of imposing disposition was standing beside her bed, his piercing gaze boring into me. His large hand was firmly gripping a slender shoulder, a younger but near carbon copy of the man. I blinked as much as I could in order to bring them sharper into focus, but baby eyes just aren't reliable.

I realized quickly and with horror, that's what I was. A literal ass baby. I was horrified. Especially when the woman cradled me tighter and shifted, squeezing my baby head into her bosom. My wriggling didn't stop the injustice.

For some reason, I couldn't understand their words. I stared with growing awareness as the woman gestured and the little boy came closer, his hand reaching out to poke, what I imagined, were puffy cheeks. I slowly brought him into focus and vaguely felt a sense of familiarity.

When the woman deposited me into his arms I felt some alarm. We were really trusting a kid to hold a fragile baby now, are we? I began to fuss a little, trying to convey my dismay in the only language I could, gibberish.

"What do you think, Rufus? Your own little sister." The woman said it so softly. Her hand reached out to brush the golden hair from his face and he allowed it. My alarm grew.

"President Shinra, sir." What I assumed was a doctor called to the man and he turned. Oh, shit.

"What is it?" Oh, no. Oh absolutely fuck no.

This is a dream; this absolutely can NOT be real.

"The birth certificate, sir."

The man took it in his hand and made a small noise. "I suppose she needs a name. I was hoping for another boy. However, I suppose this will be fine. You name her."

Oh shit, no thank you, really. I already have a name. One that I'm quite attached too. And really, a whole life that I'm happy with so really… no need.

The woman looked a bit dissatisfied with his disinterested tone and I almost felt bad. Her eyes softened when she looked at us. She thought we were her KIDS. Well, the boy… Rufus was, but I most certainly was not, by any means, an effing baby!

And I didn't want to be, if my stirring memories were right. I was screwed with this family of dysfunction and greed.

"Hmm, what do you think, Rufus?"

The boy looked almost innocent. But every time one of them spoke I felt nothing but dread. I stared at him while he looked back at me. This was the guy who was going to continue his fathers stupid quest to suck the planet dry! If I was right. Maybe I was wrong. Surely, maybe they were just the victims of some Final Fantasy obsessed nut job.

Well, at least my brother would grow up to be a domineering but classically hot anime guy. God's, this couldn't be real.

"Sophie," he muttered finally.

The woman lit up while the man snorted. "From the book I read you a while ago. Of course, it's perfectly splendid."

Before today if someone had said I'd be faced with a chibby Rufus freaking Shinra I'd have been curious enough to look up the Google for it. Now, I was faced with chibby Rufus actually blushing. Nodding as the woman beamed.

"Little Sophie. How wonderful." Compared to Rufus and the still unnamed woman I'd come out of, Shinra senior was laconic and bored. Well, excuse you, you definitely aren't getting any father of the year mugs from me.

My life was over. I started to cry as the emotion crashed into me and I couldn't stop it. Damn baby body. Even as I tried to hold back the noises, they escaped my unwilling mouth and tumbled around piercingly through the air. Rufus looked alarmed and the woman took me swiftly.

"Perhaps she's hungry already." Her voice was almost drowned out by my cries.

Nothing could drown out the intent though. She unbuttoned her gown and oh my God, you've got to be kidding me!

I was going to die. I was dead, and now I'm gonna be double dead. Fuck no I wasn't going to be breastfed to top off my impending doom.

#ff7 remake #final fantasy vii #ff7 oc #sephiroth #sephiroth x oc #cloud x reader #sephiroth x reader #genesis rhapsodos #rufus shinra #tifa x cloud #zack x aerith

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sunlightfeeling · 2 days

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re: flop posts reblog’s tags, i really like your smaposting and glad to see you excited about making stuff and talking about your fav stuff, but if it’s uncomfortable to you, i can lower my presence in your notifs? or do whatever that would make you happy with posting about things that you love!

AAAA no I’m genuinely so sorry I gave that impression (my tags were really really crabby reading them back looord lmfao)

—

This is going to be a super long explanation but I really just want to clarify? And try not to misconstrue what I think my tags meant in more “critical-thinking” terms lol:

I think my tags were more…targeted from recently seeing the influx of takuya/smap-inspired posts but their…judgment/lost judgment related. I really hate calling this type of thing out and being complainy but I actually think its made me more bitter about the fandom? To be horribly blunt?

When I see these posts, I can’t help but have the initial feeling that maybe some still only care about Takuya’s piece in SMAP…when there’s literally four other men (sometimes five) standing right next to him. This isn’t new though, like if you look at SMAP’s history, its a chronic thing with Takuya being the star compared to the others.

And…this isn’t me assuming they aren’t fans of them all but…I guess the main thing is that if the only smap post I see from someone are just…Yagami…it kind of hurts, I guess?

Because oh…it’s Takuya again…which is great lmao but like…stares at elephant in the room (the sheer amount of posts of takuya vs the other members)

But then I’m hit with oh wait, that’s not even takuya lol, that’s…yagami …..

Which I know I sound like a major bitch because fan content is fan content etc etc etc

I think maybe it’s because smap means a lot (a lot) to me and I wish the opportunity was used to give them love and support, rather than seeing a chance to play Yagami dress up.

Which I want to clarify!! More!

I am not automatically anti-any of this. Using anything SMAP as inspiration for JE/LJ content: art, fic, etc etc etc is super sweet to me and I love all the little references to Takuya’s IRL career. It really shows how Yagami is a pretty multi-layered protagonist, especially when you find how many references to Takuya’s IRL career got squeezed into these games. Like RGG went all-in with the references, so should fic writers, artists, etc etc if they’d like to!

To kind of tie this post up, lol:

If you’re enjoying the posts, I absolutely support this and don’t want you to feel uncomfortable interacting. If anything, it makes me happy knowing that I’m hopefully infecting more rgg people with smap and pulling them closer and closer to the swamp (😈😂)

But more seriously, thank you, thank you, thank you for the support because it actually does mean so much to me and I’m so happy I can, hopefully, lend someone else some serotonin and dopamine with my brainrot beautifully thought out posts 😇💕

#im actually so sorry i gave that impression 😭#im leaving the tags for my own accountability #but they’re so bitchy 😭😂#had a splitting headache and in the middle of prep-hell so i was just overall ✨bitter✨#(which isn’t an excuse at all but…maybe a reason why my tone was way off lmao)#ramblin but not a gamblin man #long post

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jhoons · 1 year

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⇢ JHOON'S 1K FOLLOW FOREVER ⇠

idk how i got this many followers when all i do is make silly gifs and complain abt how bad they turn out in the tags but tysm for 1k followers. i never thought i'd reach that but here we are. I'm not obsessed numbers on here but i'm really glad that ppl enjoy the content i make. tbh the things i've giffed are purely moments i enjoy and want to keep in a frame hence why i've never been serious about requests and all that. i change bias groups a lot but some groups i do stan for a long time. so if enhypen happens to be one of those groups then that's great but if not i'm just glad i was able to contribute to enhablr for the time being :)

☽ for my followers or people who've seen my content: tysm for enjoying the content i make i really enjoy reading your tags and seeing u tag your friends in the post (enha smut writers im looking at u)

☆ for my moots: i rly appreciate all of you supporting my work and putting up with my complaining hahah. no seriously though, everything i've learned up until this point has been through your works inspiring what i want my gifs to look like or how i can improve them, mainly bc all the old tutorials ppl refer to are the old ones from a century ago. usually, i'd look at your work and try to guess what you've done to make it x amount sharper or more colourful. i also thank the select few of you so much for your kind explanations on how to do so many things through the ask box here and there, though i haven't sent an ask in ages. when i first joined i thought there'd be a lot of gatekeeping on here but thank you all sm for being super friendly to approach and thorough with your explanations since i was re-learning ps again [the last time i used it was 2016 lmao]. overall, you've also properly restored my faith in kpop stans fr since i've come from 3 years of stan twt. this space has become smth like my safe space and i hope it stays like this for a while. overall thanks for being cool people in general <3. p.s. those of u who use to be super active when i first joined i miss u guys a lot and u know who u are :'( i just hope life is treating u well.

A-Z — this made me realise how tiny my circle is on here. special shout out to my bolded moots ♡ 🌸 @blushyeon 🌸 @cherriki 🌸 @heeseunq 🌸 @heelicopter 🌸 @hooned 🌸 @hueningkai 🌸 @hybed 🌸 @inhypen 🌸 @injunnies 🌸 @jaeyunsim 🌸 @jaeyxns 🌸 @jeonwonwoo 🌸 @jngwonnie 🌸 @kimsunoo 🌸 @kyubins 🌸 @leeheeseunq 🌸 @lovedbyjaeyun 🌸 @nhipen 🌸 @polaroidlove 🌸 @seungkwan-s 🌸 @wabisaba 🌸 @yeonjuins 🌸 @zourgrapez 🌸

#enhypen #follow forever #*p

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chriscdcase95 · 1 year

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My thoughts on “Teen Wolf: The Movie”.

So I watched the new Teen Wolf movie. Ultimately. I'm giving it a six out of ten. While there was more I liked about the movie than disliked, I had quite a few gripes.

I didn't see it as horrendous as a lot of fans say it is, but there are a few valid critiques I've seen. Maybe I'm just easy to please.

I think some of the issues could have been fixed if there wasn't such a big time skip; like instead of fifteen years, five years. Maybe instead of raising a teenager, Derek would be raising a toddler. Though I don't think we'd get the same kind of story for Eli that way, especially for this generations teen wolf.

Spoilers below.

1. So I got into Teen Wolf back in high school, and I remember being a die hard Scallison stan back then too. I'm not as big of a Scallison as I was back then, but I am glad to see them be endgame, if it wasn't for one small thing.

My main question is if Allison aged a bit after her resurrection ? Like is she still considered a teenager or is she considered a young adult now ? I feel like this is a nitpick, but some In-Universe clarification would be nice! Feels like something the writers overlooked.

Then again, werewolves are slow to age in the show's lore, so I guess you can apply "Vampire Rules" to these kind of romances. Maybe I'm overthinking it. I mean the show used to tease Parrish and Lydia, in season four; back when she was a teenager, and he was in his 20's. As if over half the fandom wasn’t shipping Sterek.

Actually, while I was working on this post, I read that Allison was eighteen when she died, so that's...better I guess.

2. Speaking of Parrish, his and Malia's relationship...I'm okay with it, more so than Scott and Malia. I mean they didn't do much with either pairing. Maybe that's the Malira shipper in me talking.

With Scalia, it felt like they just slapped them together because Scott needed a love interest for the final season. You could make the argument that a lot has happened over fifteen years that we didn't see.

With Malia and Parish, it feels like there's a whole ass story we didn't see, but y'know, show, don't tell.

3. While I'm on that, the movie leaves a lot open ended, that it felt like it was setting up a follow up. This is were most of my problems come from. I was thinking maybe it would tie into Wolf Pack, but I've been hearing that the show isn't meant to be a direct spinoff (or even the same universe) as Teen Wolf.

One thing I'd like an explanation of is Eli's mother, which again feels like they're saving for a follow up. Speaking of Eli, he became an instant favorite of mine, and someone I wouldn't mind seeing again.

Also, the cursing and nudity in this movie, I'm not saying it's out of place, and far from being prudish. I like that they’re being more risqué, but I’m also glad they didn't go too overboard with it. Still, “Darkness, you motherfucker” absolutely killed me!

Another gripe I had was that Kira didn't return. Like this is a story where kitsune are front and center, and one of the antagonists is a monster her mother helped bring into the world.

You’re seriously telling me she’s not up for another round ?

We're introduced to a new Kitsune, Hikari, who I have nothing against, but it really feels like Kira could have (should have) filled her spot. Especially since Hikari didn't have a proper introduction for a new player. "Oh, Liam has a new girlfriend who's a kitsune ? Welcome to the team I guess."

4. The villains...here's where I have more of an issue. So the Nogitsune makes a comeback. Which is fine; I saw that coming as far back as the trailers.

But the movie's other Big Bad is Adrian Harris, with no explanation for his survival. I mean sure, a slashed throat/strangulation is an injury you can survive, but the chances are often slim.

I could have easily bought this Big Bad Duumvirate, if there wasn't something that stuck out; Stiles wasn't there.

I can accept that Stiles isn't part of the story. I can accept Stydia splitting up (albeit begrudgingly). But Stiles was the Nogitsune’s primary tormenting victim, and the one Harris had the most beef with. You telling me he wasn't on their radar ?!

You're telling me that even if Harris survived or came back, the first thing he wouldn't do was try to access the speed force and pull some Eobard Thawne buffoonery on Stiles ?

Get out of town!

Anyways, the Nogitsune was a serviceable villain, but I feel like Harris could have been replaced with another past antagonist. Say Tamara Monroe, considering she was the series cliffhanger villain, and as of this movie her arc's unresolved. They probably wouldn't have been able to pull any kind of twist with her, but she at least would fit more.

Hell, even Theo Raeken would have been more fitting; the guy such has a proud history of subverting whatever redeeming qualities thrown his way, I still have a hard time buying his “redemption” at the end of the series. Actually, it wasn't even a redemption, it was just the one genuine Pet the Dog moment the guy actually had.

Anyways, Harris probably would have been a better fit in a story that had Stiles in it.

5. Not gonna lie, Derek's death was something sorta I saw coming.

What I mean is, I certainly saw someone in the main cast was gonna die. That's like an unspoken rule in “Next Generation” sequels. But I thought it would be someone else. If not Derek, it would be one of the parents.

Who'd I'd probably have die instead would be Chris Argent. I mean if you're gonna bring back his daughter, you'd think one consequence would be that Chris would die in her place.

Derek's death, I'm more mixed on, but ultimately accept. I would have preferred if Chris was the one with the heroic sacrifice. I still think it would be a more fitting end than Derek’s.

I heard some complaints that Scott and Allison pretty much adopted Eli, but I didn't see it that way. When Scott and Eli interacted, I got more of an uncle/nephew vibe than any father/son thing.

The way I see it, Eli just has a large support system following his father's death; a support system that just now includes Scott and Alison. And let's be honest, there's no way and hell Derek is gonna let Peter raise him.

I've been told this was intended to be the start of a trilogy, so if we get sequels, hopefully they'll fill us in on what we missed.

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tippett-in-a-robe · 1 year

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Ok senario I've been rereading it turned good au lately and....

Ok so what if a child were to live with them

Maybe they have a shinning and like the others and don't find them scarry how would everyone react?

(btw you're art is looking gorgeous as per usual and I love matruins design!)

@xvx-lucifer-is-a-cat

Hello!^^ 👋 I am so sorry I didn’t see this earlier! 😭😭😭

OMG I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCH! 😭❤️❤️❤️

And I have actually thought about what could happen if Penny and/or his friends were to come across some lonely shining child who needed some joy in their life! XD

If a child were to live with them, it would probably start out like this:

Penny would most likely be the one to find the child since he’s the only one who lives part-time on Earth. Said child (whatever age, gender, situation, etc. they may be), would obviously be more aware than other kids since they got the shining powers, and that is what would catch Penny’s attention.

In my AU, Penny is not a child-eater! XD (He still eats people, but only the ones who deserve it lol). So, he really would not ever have eating the child on his mind. He would simply observe the kid for a few years possibly, and try to refrain from helping the child out through hard times. Penny doesn’t usually “help” humans out, so being a sort of guardian Angel to the kid would not have been on his agenda… not at first, at least.

But, over a period of time, he would start to become intrigued by the kid. He would start to “help out” here and there by scaring off some bullies, killing off any intruding creatures who may feed on shining kids, or invisibly make sure they don’t fall when they trip over something.

The kid would start to suspect greater forces at play, and could sense them. Eventually the kid would become sure they were being observed, especially after they would swear they saw a clown’s face staring at them through the sewer drain. The kid would not have been afraid though, and that actually would intrigue Penny even more.

I don’t wanna make this post too long, but let’s just say that Penny eventually decides to talk face-to-face with them and eventually makes good friends with them. Penny almost becomes a parental figure to them, and would probably start to doubt himself a lot. Though, he ultimately would decide to truly “take the kid in,” and that doesn’t mean to live in the cavern under the sewers. It means “to the Dark Tower.”

Penny: “Hey, Bessa! Say, what would y’all say if I kinda just… brought a shinin’ kid here to live with us?”

Bessa: “What’s behind you, Penny?”

Penny: “…”

Bessa: “Penny, what’s behind you?!”

Penny: “… I think you know.”

His friends would obviously need major explanations, and probably wouldn’t be all that willing to take care of a mortal child. Eventually though, they will see that Penny has finally gained some sort of friendship with this kid, and they will eventually warm up to the idea as well.

Soon, they all consider themselves the guardians of the kid. Gan and Bessa would probably be like the parental figures, Maturin would be the soft and kind uncle who has life lessons for days, and Penny would be the chaotic, fun Uncle/older sibling who would let them curse! XD

Thank you, @xvx-lucifer-is-a-cat for the ask! This was seriously a whole lot of fun to come up with ideas for!^^ And I am so glad that you enjoy my art and designs, it means a whole lot for me to hear! 😭❤️❤️❤️

I hope you have an amazing day, and thanks again!^^ 👋❤️

#answered ask #asks #my commentary #the dark tower au #it turned good au #ask #the dark tower au headcannons #pennywise #good Pennywise #gan #maturinturtle #maturin #Bessa

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nagirambles · 2 years

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Hi i saw your post on Nalu HCs and now I’m wondering do you have any HCs on Nalu with Gildarts as a father figure ?( Gildarts seeing how Natsu and Lucy remind him of his and Cornelia love life only their didn’t mess up like he did ) Gildarts giving Natsu love advice while comedy Gildarts kicking Natsu out of Lucy house lol. Gildarts being a father figure to Lucy cause boi does she need it. Just wholesome , comedy and chaotic HCs , it’s a shame theirs not many HCs on them please thank u 🧶

I am suddenly getting so many Gildarts requests aaaaa I love you all, thanks for all this, yeah? I feel loved.

I think Gildarts isn’t shown to approach Lucy as much because she’s already an older teenager at the time they met? Knowing his personality, he’d come off like Macao and Wakaba with their creepy perverted uncle kind of vibe, instead of a dad one. (Yes, I do not like that in canon either. Why are those two creeping on Mirajane... seriously Mashima... I’m glad Mashima didn’t write Gildarts approaching Lucy much, because I have a good feeling he would’ve taken the same direction.)

But anyways! Let’s start with just Lucy. Honestly, I don’t think Gildarts is much of a ‘father figure’, he’s more of the fun uncle to anyone except Natsu, and that’s because they both like destroying things. But I guess the difference is just kinda semantics, so eh. I like to think he’d put a pedestal on Cana by being all babytalk with her to lovingly annoy her though. He won’t do that with anyone else, and that’s a good balance.

Onto Lucy. I think they didn’t have much time or opportunity before this, so the first time he’ll seriously take interest in Lucy as a person would be on Tenrou after the battles before Acnologia, and probably because Lucy was partners with Cana in the S-class test. He would probably find a coincidental opportunity to come in and maybe thank her for being there for Cana, all that. Lucy would probably deny all that, but then the conversation would turn to Cana, and they’d start agreeing and whining about things like ‘hey, wait! Cana made it to the grave! She should have made it S-class! Damn that Grimoire Heart!’ or ‘she is so strong but she won’t believe it! She’s unbelievable!’ all ranting, so Gildarts can learn as much about Cana as he can, and Lucy can keep ranting about why she helped Cana in the first place.

I like to think Lucy would keep an eye on Gildarts were firmly. I think she would be giving him the equivalent of a shovel talk just to warn him that if he ever, ever messes the damn hell up with being a father again, she will Lucy Kick him up the head, crash magic or not. And she will uphold that promise because she cannot hurt him, but she can in fact put nails in his shoes, tabasco in his food, and mayonnaise in his beer. He is mortified enough to willingly get on his knees to apologize to Cana every time he unwillingly or drunkenly messes up henceforth. And then, he will go find Lucy to treat her to something just so both of them can make up, too.

I’d like to think it would be in one of these times where Lucy tells him why she’s so serious about him being a good father for Cana. Maybe they would both be lightly drunk and she would be ranting. Maybe it’s right after she finds out about her father’s death and she really needs a good cry. She would rant to him, openly, and because she hasn’t actually told everyone the full details of her past with her father, Gildarts would be the first to know. (One detail in all of Lucy’s confrontation scenes with her father is that when Lucy goes back to her friends, we always see her reunion with them from Jude’s perspective, without hearing her explanation to Natsu and gang. I like to think she doesn’t overshare then, she just assures them she’s settled it, she’s coming home with them, and she’s fine now. And they accept her wholeheartedly back where she belongs.) So, Gildarts would be the first to actually get a clear look into the depth of how far she’s been hurt, and how tragic her relationship with her father is. Gildarts resolves to never fail Cana the same way, and that’s enough for Lucy to smile.

I personally headcanon Celestial magic and Card magic are similar due to the same semi-divine connotations, so I like to imagine Gildarts being happy to talk with Lucy about Cornelia, and her history with fortunes. Maybe tell her the story of how they met, and why he believes Cornelia named their daughter Cana. And Lucy would return with the story of how her parents met, how her own name came by, and they would both laugh about how arbitrary parents can be with naming their own children. They would probably both talk about Cana in a worrying parental way, because they’re both worried about overdrinking and recklessness and all, but Cana just won’t listen to their critique. They’re like overbearing mothers and Cana hates that there are two of them now.

They would have a teasing relationship, where Lucy would poke fun of him every time for things like "you’re gonna leave without seeing Cana again? Oh, your poooor daughter!” and he would go ‘urk’. Similarly, if Nalu becomes canonical, (or even if it doesn’t and stays semi the whole way, honestly,) he would tease Lucy in the same way he teases Laxus about being kicked out of the guild during Tenrou. She would also go ‘urk’.

I love the idea of Gildarts being the scary dad figure. Lucy wouldn’t ask for him to protect her, she just doesn’t think it necessary-- but somehow, at some point, she gets pinned under the same umbrella as Cana in that ‘you better not mess with her because you will regret it when the strongest mage in the west comes after your head’ category. Lucy and Cana are both annoyed by it because they do not need that dumb thing, it’s scaring away customers, and most of all, I can. protect. MYSELF. (Gildarts whines because he’s not doing it because he thinks they’re weak, he’s doing it as a show of his loooove!) (Both of them make overdramatic reactions of ‘ew no you creepy old man!’ but they’re both grateful)

To be clear, I’m not saying all this in a ‘Cana and Lucy are girlfriends’ way, though you’re free to interpret so. I just think Gildarts would extend some of that love to Lucy simply because his regret for failing Cana can span enough for two dear girls that desperately missed a father’s love in their lives, and he’s more than willing to do for Lucy what Jude couldn’t. Because he knows now that it’s not about blood relations, everyone deserves a father’s love. If Macao and Wakaba could do it, maybe he could, too.

More in relation to Natsu. The teasing would never stop for Natsu. He almost never let Natsu live the old crush with Lisanna down, so clearly, now that things changed, he will turn that right the hell back on. Heck, if Nalu’s the openly official relationship of this continuity then I think Lisanna would join in, because that’s kind of in line with her prior personality as the teasing one. Gildarts would chide Natsu about being always being more obsessed with wanderlust than Lucy. Lucy would insist it’s fine, but Gildarts would not, simply because that is what he did and he regretted the hell out of it. (He’s a dad, but that doesn’t mean his advice needs to be followed.) So he just nags, and Natsu ends up grabbing Lucy along so they can both avoid the damn nagging.

I feel Gildarts would project a little. He doesn’t want Natsu to become someone like him, who was too late for Cornelia and almost too late for Cana. He’ll eventually realize that Natsu won’t grow up like him, and Lucy won’t be the next Cornelia-- and he’ll be content, and he’ll finally be able to truly forgive himself.

Honestly, I feel Gildarts would sympathize with Jude, even though (and most likely because) he was a horrible father. Of course, absent and neglectful are two different things, but he would wonder how similar they are, that they both turned away from what needed their love because they both mourned their wives. He wondered if he could have been like him, if the situations were just a little different. He visits Jude’s grave and wondered, if they met on the road at some point after Jude’s business failed, could they have been unlikely friends?

#it's an ask #fairy tail #it's a headcanon #i'm reaching #fic related rambles #gildarts clive

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jujumin-translates · 1 year

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Event | Secret Happy Factory | Epilogue: I Want to Tell You What I Like

Sakuya: Umm…

Sakuya: Ah, Azami-kun. There, it’s the Elfriede Christmas coffret.

Azami: Sweet. Glad they’ve still got it.

Sakuya: All of these cosmetics are so pretty…! They’ve got a little bit of a different feel than the ones we used before.

Azami: Yeah.

Azami: I got a lot of stuff from the Elfriede PR deal, but there’s still another new thing I want.

Sakuya: So that’s why you wanted to come here.

Azami: Yeah.

Azami: Sakyo asked if I was buying something I already have. God, that guy is clueless.

Azami: This is completely different from any of the stuff I have, can’t believe he messed that up. Then I had to give such a dumbed-down explanation so that even Shitty Sakyo could understand.

Azami: Worth it, though. I managed to snag a bit more of the budget.

Sakuya: You’re so tough, Azami-kun…!

Azami: ‘Course I am. Anyway, let’s go grab the stuff.

Shop Employee: Welcome.

Shop Employee: Ah…!

Azami: ?

Azami: Ah…

Shop Employee: Um… Are you two Sakuya-kun and Azami-kun from MANKAI Company?

Sakuya: Yeah! That’s us.

Shop Employee: I watched your stream the other night! I really loved your stage makeup, and the stan makeup you mentioned!

Azami: Thanks.

Sakuya: Waah, thank you so much!

Shop Employee: Actually, my makeup today is inspired by Azami-kun’s stan makeup…

Azami: I can tell. Thought it might’ve been that when I first saw it. ‘Cause of how your eyeshadow looks.

Shop Employee: I’m so glad you noticed!

Shop Employee: Actually, some of the customers we got then were coming just after having watched the stream.

Shop Employee: We had a great time just going on and on about the stan makeup.

Sakuya: That’s great!

Azami: I’m glad you were interested in it.

Shop Employee: I’d love to see you do that sort of thing again!

Azami: Count on it whenever I get the opportunity again.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Azami: Hey, Sakuya-san. If you’re down, wanna make another video?

Azami: Actually, I got some requests to review the Elfriede Christmas coffret.

Azami: I wanna try it out on both of us and post about how it is.

Sakuya: Of course! I’m looking forward to seeing what you’ll do with the cosmetics.

Azami: Thanks. …Right. How’d you feel about doing a different type of project?

Sakuya: A different type of project? Like what?

Azami: We could do something with the stan makeup we just talked about… Or maybe we could use the roles from the performance as a motif this time.

Sakuya: Waah… Sounds fun!

Azami: And later… Maybe I can do a collection of loser makeup using Sakyo’s face.

Sakuya: Eeh!? Wouldn’t that be… Kinda scary to do?

Azami: Haha.

Azami: Actually, I’d really like to use a feminine model like the Director, but that’s not really possible.

Sakuya: Yeah, guess you’re right…

Azami: …

Sakuya: ?

Azami: …Might be too much to ask, but would you wanna try out some feminine clothes… Or…?

Sakuya: Eh! Umm, i-if you’re really sure I’ll be good enough then… I’ll do my best!

Azami: I was joking. Don’t take it so seriously.

Azami: But you really did help me out a lot this time. Thanks, Sakuya-san.

Sakuya: But all I really did was the play… But I’m glad I could help.

Sakuya: Let’s keeping sharing what we love and all have fun together.

Azami: …Yeah.

[ ⇠ Previous Part ]

#a3!#a3! translation #sakuya sakuma #azami izumida #// azami vc i was just joking #oh were you now

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savedpeople · 10 months

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I haven’t talked much about dead city for the last couple weeks, but here’s some thoughts on tonight’s episode all in one place instead of making separate posts as we go. As usual, spoilers ahead:

SAVIOR NEGAN MY BELOVED. Legit got emotional seeing Lucille again. Savior Negan’s mustache hurts my soul a little but idc he still looks Good. but also gives the possibility of him and Simon having semi-matching mustaches at one point which is extremely funny

Negan designing the walker fence, maybe? That’s kind of what that looked like. If it was, then the walker fence was a relatively new thing when we saw it in the main show, since he already has the Kingdom working for him at this point.

Good to see Simon’s arms have doubled in size since we last saw him, jfc. But seriously, I had the Simon cameo spoiled a while ago but it was so cool to see him again

I love that Neegs is a canon nickname for Negan now lol. How long has the fandom been using that, especially the comic fandom?

Negan wearing two gloves in the flashback implies he either 1. lost a glove at some point, or 2. decided to start only wearing one for The Aesthetic. I’m gonna go with the second option lmao

The hall/room we saw during the flashback scene with the croat is in the sanctuary but isn’t a space we’ve seen before. the basement, maybe? i never considered the factory might have a basement. was way too big to be one of the cells we saw in the main show.

glad they confirmed the croat didn’t “just” kill the kid, but tortured her.

Simon being all “KIDS is a line we don’t cross, we all know that” is hilarious given the entire Oceanside situation. Big possibility is the writers just kinda... forgot about that (especially if they didn’t write for the main how, idk who the writers are), but my in-universe explanation is going to be that Simon is big time sucking up to Negan after being given a second chance. Make him believe he believes that. etc.

Anyone else think the Croat lowkey looks like Simon?? A little bit?? might just be certain facial expressions

Y’all had the opportunity to make my stupid harmonica headcanon canon and and you DIDN’T DO IT. but it’s not not canon, either.

Please not the miscommunication, “if you’d just let me explain” trope. We only have two episodes left there’s not enough time for that

It’s not important but I wonder what the Croat’s real name is

Now why was Croat’s reaction to hearing Negan’s whistle/seeing him again kinda cute

Why do I kind of like the Croat. Only a tiny bit tho

NegaAAAAN

I actually really do like this group Negan and Maggie are with, especially Tommaso and Amaia and the scavenger lady. I forgot her name.

Aaaand that was scavenger lady that just died, wasn’t it

Tommaso definitely got bit, there’s no way he got out of that unscathed

DID MAGGIE BURN THE DINO PLUSH OR NOT. i’m gonna guess the way ginny’s looking at her + her “i have to tell you something” to Negan is implying she did?

Perhaps I’m stupid but why did the Croat send all those walkers into the arena? Did he know our group was coming? edit: the preview for next ep suggests he did

“Where’s Lucille?” “She’s gone.” 😭😭😭

Did I just add Jerome to my Excel sheet of Saviors? Yes. This tells us that the Croat’s not the only ex-Savior that’s ended up in NY

I like that Negan saved Armstrong. Disappointed but not surprised about Armstrong’s actions once they were alone. Looks like they might have to work together next ep though? I’m hoping Negan tells him why exactly he killed those people.

Eli saying that the Croat was, in a weird way, “Negan’s first kid” despite being older than Negan is soooo idk but it does add something to the way Negan might be feeling about the whole thing

#jenwatchestwd #under a cut bc it got Long #✘ || Excuse the shit out of my goddamn french ( ooc )

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fonkeloog · 2 years

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About yesterday (and really, long before yesterday)

So. I really do not want to start any type of drama (again). But I've been thinking about everything that has happened in the past month a lot and I feel like I haven't really said anything substantial. So here I am. This is mainly in hopes I can let it go after this, so don't feel like you have to read this. (Seriously, it's mainly me rambling anyway)

If you have no clue what I'm talking about, I'll give a really short recap.

Yesterday (September 2022) me and several of my friends/mutuals were targeted by -at least- 1 person. What was posted as an opinion, got taken completely out of context. When I saw the way everything Holli said got taken out of context, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Partly because I was very confused where they [the original reblog] came from. It didn't make sense, and so I asked for clarification. (I could've done that in a more mature way, but I didn't and I can't take back what I said.)

Before that, I had someone in my comments on Ao3 sharing the same kind of things. I don't know if this is the same person, so for the sake of preventing false accusations I'm going to assume these things a separate from one another. But that was hard. I write for myself first, and posting fics is still really scary to me. The motivation to keep writing has been low, and these comments obviously didn't help. I'm so glad I had people stand up for me, but I fear that it's put them on a shit list as well. And I'm sorry if that happened.

But that isn't where all this started. The Marauders fandom has been... messy for a while now. People have left because of all the hate they've been getting. My asks have been, not so fun for a long time now. And it's funny in a really sad way. First they came at me for not talking about everything myself, and questioning why I only reblogged other people but "refused to speak out yourself." But then when i did speak out, they came at me for defending a "bad person" (which is just not true and holy shit i can rage about that mess for hours). And I've ignored it all, because I don't owe anyone an explanation.

I hoped it would just stop. That if I ignored it, I'd be left alone. But that clearly didn't work. Instead I've been called a transphobe, homophobe and just yesterday biphobic was added to the list as well. I've had my fair share of dealing with bullies. But this shit here? It triggered the hell out of me. That's why I didn't speak up myself. Because I genuinely couldn't. As I learned yesterday, ignoring the situation didn't work. So here I am, practically begging whoever has me on their shit list to please stop. I love this fandom and the people I've met inside of it, but I don't know how much more of this I can take.

If you don't like me; block me. Don't read my fics. Scroll past posts you see from me. There's no need to be this vile.

If I every hurt anyone, please know that that was never my intention and I'm so sorry if you've felt as though I was intentionally trying to hurt you. I'm a human, I make mistakes, I lash out and if I'm out to hurt anyone you'll know. But I'm not. This past month has been triggering beyond anything I've had in a long time and I just want to be left alone.

Thank you.

#britt is rambling #on fandom hate #this is the last I'll say about this #idk if any of this makes sense #im very tired and would like for fandom to stay the safe place its been #be fucking nice

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she-toadmask · 3 years

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Also my brain is just going 'how appropriate that the two most irredeemable characters seem to have the worst ccs behind them' and then the other part of me is like

BITCH THESE PEOPLE ARE GENUINELY BEING SHIT AND YOU'RE OUT HERE ACTING LIKE THIS IS SOME META STORY SHIT

NO THEY'RE ACTUALLY BEING BAD PEOPLE STOP IT

#untagged #delete later #ok to rb i guess?#vent #like i don't see why you would want to reblog this but if you really want to you can #the other thing the google doc is making me think about is just how few people are going to be aware of it #like there must be a good portion of the smp audience who doesn't use tweeter #or at least didn't when this shit happened #not to mention the literal millions of people watching the yt stuff who aren't going to look on tweeter at least not actively enough to see #like i completely support this callout but sometimes it's just like #idk kind of 'what's the point what do you expect to happen' but that's probably the depression talking #seriously though glad to see a post with explanations again #even if it's just 'here is the actual fucking tweet' it's really comforting(?)#wrong word but right vibe of good to know it's a real thing #also completely unrelated but how do you know what your favorite anything is #like there are lots of things i like but how do i determine the most #like i have a 'favorite friend' in the form of my best friend but she's also my only really close friend so that's kind of a default?#but like. what the fuck is a favorite movie? or character? does your favorite change if you consider different restrictions?#like the only favorite i have is favorite car my family owns and even that's a weird category

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makeste · 3 years

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“but I thought about how I needed to say this”

a.k.a. yet another meta dissection of The Apology. I actually wrote most of this up on Friday night based on the original Japanese (@pikahlua has an excellent translation up here, and I also used @hanashimas’ translations as a reference as well), but I wanted to wait until the official release, though that turned out to be a mixed bag to say the least lol.

I would also recommend reading @pikahlua and @class1akids’ breakdowns of this scene (here and here, respectively), because they are excellent, and because if any scene deserves to have as many meta breakdowns written about it as possible, it’s this one.

anyway so here goes.

Caleb did a more accurate job with this than the fanscan, even if he did try his best to take us out of the seriousness of the moment by throwing in that swiss cheese line lol. anyway so there are two things I want to talk about here. the first is the line about Izuku not remembering, which I thought was a nice touch. of course he doesn’t remember what Kacchan said back then. he wasn’t exactly in the soundest emotional state after seeing one of the people he cares about most taking a near-fatal blow that was meant for him. I’d be shocked if he remembers anything about the aftermath (including the way he flew into a mindless rage afterwards) right up until the point when he entered the OFA Interstellar Party Void with Tomura. anyway, so I thought that was a nice callback.

and speaking of emotional states, the other thing I wanted to talk about is the part that Caleb got right which the fan scanlation didn’t. “but I had more to say.” in other words, “stop trying to win on your own” wasn’t just a one-liner; it was meant to be the beginning of a much longer speech. “there were other things that I needed to say.”

like, can we just stop and talk about that for a second. because basically what this means is that in that instant, when Kacchan pushed Deku out of the way and got impaled, his one and only thought was that he needed to apologize to Deku. his life was presumably flashing before his eyes, he had no idea if he was going to survive or not, and the only thing on his mind was how urgently he needed to make things right with his former childhood friend.

moving on!

so I have a confession to make, which is that I am relieved to see Katsuki describing this as the reason why he bullied Deku, as opposed to Horikoshi trying to retcon it into some sort of “secretly he was just trying to protect him and keep him out of harm’s way because he was worried” thing, which ngl would not have gelled very well with me. the thing is that I’m really not a fan of the whole “Kacchan Did Nothing Wrong” mentality that some fans seem to have. like, I have seen all sorts of convoluted attempts to find excuses for Katsuki’s shitty behavior, but in my view those attempts undermine what I love about his character in the first place. Katsuki is such a great character specifically because he is not perfect. his redemption arc is so compelling because he was such a giant asshole at the start. he was completely at fault, and he acknowledges this, and takes full responsibility for it. and that is fucking fantastic.

his arc is so great because it doesn’t rely on garnering sympathy by giving him a Tragic Past, or by trying to foist the blame for his behavior over on someone else. it’s an arc that acknowledges that redemption isn’t something you achieve by making people feel sorry for you; it’s something you have to earn by actively working to change and do better. and by forgoing the “misunderstood/tragic past” route, Horikoshi is making a statement that anyone can go down the wrong path, but that more importantly, anyone can also choose at any time to turn away from said path. there is only one requirement for doing so, and that is realizing that you’ve done wrong, and deciding that you want to change.

anyway, so in chapter 284 Kacchan of course had that whole speech about Deku not taking himself into account, and mentioned how that made him want to keep his distance. and a good chunk of fandom took this to mean that Katsuki’s bullying was actually a misguided response to Deku’s reckless tendencies -- sort of an “if I show him how weak and powerless he really is, I can get him to accept the reality that he’s quirkless, and that being a hero will just get him hurt or killed” type of thing. and I won’t lie, for a good while I was wondering myself if Horikoshi was really going to go down that route. and like I said, I am honestly relieved that he didn’t. not only for the reasons stated in the previous paragraph, but also because the message that would have sent -- that there are certain circumstances in which bullying can almost be excused because the bully had Good Intentions and was just trying to save the other person from themselves, and so it Wasn’t That Bad, Actually -- is all kinds of fucked up to say the least. so yeah, I’m glad we ended up steering well clear of that.

(ETA: this post was long enough already so I edited out the 3 additional paragraphs I originally wrote analyzing the dialogue from 284. but just to be clear, I’m not trying to imply that Kacchan worrying about Deku’s recklessness is a retconned thing that Horikoshi only threw into the story recently, because there are multiple instances throughout the story where he clearly is worried and in total denial of it. but I firmly believe those feelings are not what led to the bullying. they’re two separate things. Kacchan worrying about Deku is what prompts him to yell at him in chapter 1 when Deku comes to save him. but it’s not what incited him to burn his notebook and taunt him earlier in that same chapter. that action had a much meaner and more selfish motivation behind it, and I’m glad Horikoshi didn’t try to change it up last minute, because it wouldn’t have felt right.)

thankfully as of this chapter I think we can safely cross that out as a possibility, as we’re given the true explanation straight from Katsuki himself. and the truth is that he bullied Deku out of insecurity and jealousy and fear and intolerance. there was nothing noble about it. there were no good intentions concealed in his actions. there are no justifications given, no excuses offered, and no mitigating circumstances to be considered, other than the fact (which neither he nor Horikoshi bring up) that he was and is still a child, and that children make mistakes.

it’s an explanation that challenges many of fandom’s ideas on who is and isn’t eligible to be redeemed. there is no Ozai in Katsuki’s backstory. there’s no great tragedy that he spent a lifetime trying to rise above. the only villain in Katsuki’s story is Katsuki himself. the only darkness that he has to overcome is his own. and it’s challenging, because I think many people believe the only way someone can be redeemed for doing bad things is if bad things happen to them in return. but what Horikoshi is saying here is that that’s not the case. bad doesn’t erase bad. and the one and only way to truly earn redemption is by doing good.

and that’s what makes this such a phenomenal scene for me. by not shying away from Katsuki’s flaws and failings, and having him take full responsibility for them, Horikoshi keeps the apology from being self-serving, and underscores the true depth of Katsuki’s character development. the level of self-awareness he has here is something most people can only dream of. which is very fitting, as that’s perhaps the most important takeaway from his character arc -- that it’s only by acknowledging your own weaknesses and flaws that you can learn to overcome them and reach your full potential.

one last thing to point out here, which is that in the panel where Katsuki finally acknowledges his terrible treatment of Deku, Deku is not even visible. instead, Horikoshi drew the panel from a perspective that makes it appear that Katsuki is addressing this particular line not just to Deku, but to all of his classmates.

again, he shows him taking full responsibility and admitting his wrongdoings in front of the people whose opinions and approval he cares about most. and just to clarify in case there’s any confusion from Caleb’s translation, Kacchan’s wording makes it very clear that he wasn’t just “mean” to Deku, but that he full-on bullied him (he uses the same verb -- “ijimeru” (苛める) -- that he did back in chapter 284). there’s no attempt to downplay his actions here.

moving on now, this chapter also reaffirmed another thing about Deku and Kacchan’s relationship which I was glad to see revisited -- Kacchan’s unwavering belief in Deku’s ability. this is one of those paradoxical things about their relationship which I’ve always been fascinated by, but which is also kind of hard to explain, because I don’t want it to come off like I’m trying to put a positive spin on something which was unequivocally awful. like, please don’t think I’m trying to say that Katsuki’s bullying of Deku was in any way a good thing. but that being said, there’s also a strange irony at play here, which is that Katsuki’s jealousy and insecurity also betray the fact that even at his very worst, he never once underestimated Deku. he has always believed in Deku’s strength, even when that strength pissed him off and made him afraid and uneasy.

no one else -- not All Might, or even Deku’s own mom -- believed from the get-go that Deku could become a hero. but Katsuki never once counted him out, even when he was calling him a pebble in his shoe. he confesses here that even though he “tried to act superior by rejecting [Deku]”, in truth he was never able to shake the feeling that Deku was above him. long before he ever understood the concept of “win to save”, he knew instinctively that there was a strength in Deku’s heart that couldn’t be measured, and which had the potential to surpass even his own strength. and I’ve always felt that this was so important, because it’s the one aspect of their early relationship that hinted that on some level, however subconscious, Katsuki held the same type of faith in Deku that Deku always held in him. it was one of the few things that hinted at there being a possible path towards reconciliation one day. and it paved the way for the most important shift in their relationship to date, when Katsuki finally realized who Deku got his quirk from, and responded not with resentment or spite, but with acceptance.

moving on, I also really love the way we see them portrayed at the different stages of their childhood throughout this speech, and how it perfectly lines up with the dialogue. from small children (when Katsuki talks about his insecurities first manifesting), to middle schoolers (when he talks about the bullying), to high schoolers (when he talks about the past year and everything he’s learned at U.A.). Horikoshi really didn’t have to go that hard, but he did, and that’s why we love him.

and then we finally get to That Part.

where do I even start with this there are so many things omg.

the bow. this is the one and only time Katsuki has ever bowed to anyone of his own volition as far as I recall. and this absolutely is a bow, just to be clear, even though his form is straight-up garbage (very Kacchan-esque, with his feet and arms spaced apart because he’s still a punk after all). this is Kacchan showing more humility and respect than he’s ever shown to anyone else in his entire life.

regarding “Izuku”, I actually have mixed feelings about this to tell the truth. I think it was a good call here because it was incredibly effective in setting the tone and showing just how serious Kacchan is. however if he continues to use “Izuku” rather than “Deku” from here on out, that would give the impression in hindsight that all his past usage of “Deku” really was meant as an insult, which would undermine some of my favorite scenes. I would really like to believe that since DvK2 or thereabouts, Kacchan has (mostly) been using “Deku (affectionate)” rather than “Deku (useless loser)”, lol. but if he switches to the “nicer” name on a permanent basis following his apology, it implies that the previous nickname was indeed being used cruelly. and so honestly I hope this was just a one-time thing, because I do think that in Katsuki’s mind, the name “Deku” hasn’t been meant as a slight to him for a long time now.

“my truth/this is what I truly feel” -- the word Katsuki uses in Japanese is honne (本音), and if you’re familiar with the concept of honne/tatemae, that’s the same “honne” he’s talking about here. it means that he’s casting aside all of his walls and facades and expressing what he truly feels. and of course, one of the fascinating things about Katsuki’s character is that he’s the exact opposite of most people in that he chooses to put his meanness on full display to the public, and ironically it’s the kindest parts of himself which he tends to keep the most carefully guarded and hidden away. this also means that while his rage and anger are very often insincere and put on just for show, those relatively few occasions where he lets his humanity truly shine through are pretty much 100% genuine, as is the case with this one here.

and Deku’s face says it all when it comes to how powerful those moments can be as a result.

and this, right here, is why it wasn’t enough for Katsuki to atone solely through his actions, and why he needed to actually say the words as well. it’s not that the words are more important; obviously the actions are far and away the most important part, and carry far more meaning. but the reason why Katsuki needed to say the words as well is simply because Izuku needed to hear them. needed to, and deserved to, because this is one of the most important people in the world to him.

and so he deserves to know that the relationship isn’t just one-sided, and that he is just as important to Kacchan as Kacchan is to him. he deserves to know that Kacchan understands how horribly he treated him, and that he’s sorry for it. and he deserves to know that Kacchan, without any expectation of it changing their relationship -- meaning that he will continue to feel this way regardless of what Izuku says or does from here on out -- cares about him. now more than ever, with AFO out there doing everything in his power to make Izuku feel as alone as possible, this is something that he really, really needed to hear.

so this part has some interesting wordplay which neither Caleb’s translation nor the fan scanlation was really able to get across. basically, in the Japanese version, when Katsuki talks about “those ideals”, Horikoshi uses the kanji for “ideal”, but pronounces it as “All Might.” obviously the meaning of this isn’t too hard to decipher, as we all know how much both boys admire All Might. to them, he absolutely is synonymous with the Ideal. so this is a way of showing that respect they both have towards him, even as Katsuki goes on to point out the one fatal flaw that All Might was never able to overcome.

and speaking of interesting wording, as others have noted, at this point in his speech Katsuki switches from “temee” (which he was using earlier during the “your strengths and my weaknesses” part) to “omae” (“omae” being a less insulting word for “you”, though still very manly and tough-sounding), which is definitely a big deal. though fwiw this is not the first time he’s used “omae” for Deku (he switches to it briefly right after DvK2, when he tells Deku “you had the strongest guy lay the groundwork for you -- don’t lose”, and then later when they’re walking back to the dorms and he says he’ll learn and get stronger by watching everyone around him just like Deku did). it’s definitely a good choice on Horikoshi’s part though, as it makes this last part of the speech sound more earnest and sincere.

just a quick note, he does indeed use a plural pronoun here, as in “the obstacles that you can’t overcome, we will overcome.” but as @pikahlua pointed out, the “we” here is ambiguous -- it could either mean “we” as in class 1-A -- “we will overcome them for you” -- OR it could mean “we” as in all of them -- class 1-A and Deku. “we will overcome them together.” idk about you, but I know which one gets my vote.

anyway, and so this is the line that finally wins Deku over and allows him to let go of his fears, however briefly. what I love about this is Kacchan’s utter conviction. one thing that Caleb’s translation doesn’t quite get across is Kacchan’s use of the word morenaku -- “without exception” -- when he talks about how they’re going to save everyone and win. it echoes that same sentiment he showed back during the Joint Training arc -- that it’s not a perfect victory unless they save everyone. every last person. and he explicitly lists Deku among their number, just so there can be no doubt.

and Deku’s response to this (or at least his thoughts, since he’s not really able to get many words out) pretty much brings everything full circle here.

he acknowledges that everyone else has gotten ahead of him. which is especially meaningful given who he’s standing directly across from. because for most of the series, as we all well know, it’s been Kacchan who was woefully lagging behind Deku in the character growth department. but now Deku himself is acknowledging that not only has Kacchan finally caught up at last, but that he and the others have surpassed him. which is only temporary, I should add, as I have zero doubt that Deku will catch up again soon. but the fact remains that just as Deku’s rapid increase in strength and skill left Kacchan scrambling to keep up earlier in the series, Kacchan’s extraordinary character development has now left Deku in that same position. as All Might once put it, “when he’s starting at level one, and you’re already at level 50, it’s only natural that you’ll be growing at different rates.”

and what’s so wonderful about this though is that the two of them are finally approaching that point where they’ve both caught up to each other and are finally starting to level out. Deku is a full-on badass, and Kacchan is out here talk-no-jutsuing with the best of them. the two of them have been chasing and chasing after each other this entire time, and now they’re finally just about ready to meet in the middle at long last, with each of them fully embodying both of those two crucial aspects -- win, and save.

just about. because Deku still needs some help catching up. but seeing as help has already been offered -- and accepted -- I can’t imagine it will be very long now, and I can’t wait to see him finally overcoming those fears and doubts with his friends by his side. it’s going to be such a powerful moment.

and last but not least,

or, as I prefer,

you had one job, Caleb. flkjsdlk.

but at least this provides a good opportunity to note that unlike the “we’ll help you handle it” line earlier in the speech, here the phrasing is left up to interpretation, as he doesn’t use a pronoun. so it could be “we know”, or, as the fan scanlation put it, “I know.” or it could be both. regardless, it’s good stuff.

anyway, and so Deku passes out, and in the process Horikoshi gives us one last parting metaphor, just in case anyone still thinks Kacchan is all talk because they haven’t been paying attention for the past 322 chapters (more likely than you think). once again, Katsuki’s actions speak louder than his words (even his nice words) ever could: he is literally there to catch Deku when he falls.

so that’s it! my sincere thanks to anyone who actually read through all of my endless ramblings about this scene which I have been waiting for since day one. props to Horikoshi for taking on an impossibly difficult task, and pulling it off with all of the emotion and care and nuance that I’ve come to expect from his writing. imo he delivered on every single level with the exception of the aftermath, which I don’t consider to have actually happened yet. Deku’s part of this is definitely a “to be continued.” but yeah, as far as Kacchan’s part goes, 10/10. so fucking proud of this kid.

#bnha 322 #bakugou katsuki #midoriya izuku #bakudeku #bnha meta #bakugou meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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hajimine · 3 years

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THIS IS GOODBYE !! >:)

long story short, i wanna focus on my uni work + my real life more but tumblr is way too addicting so i’m gonna have to kick it out of my life entirely <3

but for all you nosy people out there (yes you reading this rn i know you wanna snoop around mhm) here’s a way-too-long explanation as to why i’m gonna go ghost ! woo !

on this post i’ll also be answering some of the asks i frequently get so please read through them before asking again ! having to repeat myself again and again gets really tiring v.v

KEEPING IN CONTACT

discord: send an ask off anon/dm me !

new blog: anyone without bad intentions are welcome, moots or not ! just send an ask off anon <3

THE BASICS

why are you leaving? i’ve sort of explained it before the cut but yeah, tumblr is a lot of fun and i do still enjoy writing, but i feel like i waste way too much time on here and get nothing valuable in return, so i’d rather focus my time and energy on something much more important to me like my studies.

but.. you can just cut down on your posting, why leave entirely? nah im an all or nothing type of gal so that won’t work for me. i’ll go back down the obsessive rabbithole and repeat the cycle, so i’d rather do a full detox yk?

wtf why all of a sudden? i know i know sorry lol :,) i just realized that i need to get my shit together and set my priorities straight and this is the best way to do it.

why are you making such a big deal out of this? shhhhhhhut up. some people asked me about it and they’re curious, so if you aren’t, then gtfo ^^ also i don’t want to leave without an explanation bc i’ve been on the receiving end before and i know that it’s not a pleasant feeling to find out that someone you liked/followed disappeared without warning.

THE BLOG

will you deactivate? no probably not. i love this blog it has lots of good memories :>

will you delete your works? as of now, nope. but there’s a pretty big possibility that i’ll say fuck it and delete everything so enjoy them while they last hehe

do you have a new blog? yep! it’s a personal blog though, and i might or might not write again on the new blog—so don’t get your hopes up. if you do want to keep chatting with me, i’m more than happy to hang out with you there! (i won’t be as active there as i was here though)

are you gonna continue writing? in the long run: most probably yeah. i love writing so i’ll probably find my way back here (or on ao3!) but right now, i need to learn what kind of things i want to prioritize my energy on, and writing fanfiction is just… not it lol

blog giveaway? no go away

。。。

braindump:

personally, i’ve had my fair share of discourses and i have come across some nasty people in the various fandoms i’m in, but i don’t think it’s fair to hate an entire group of people just because some people are absolute shitheads. so no, i’m not leaving bc i hate the hq fandom or the jjk fandom or whatever the fuck, i enjoyed my time here bc i never took tumblr seriously—all my love goes to the fandoms tho i hope u guys won’t go up in flames w the amount of dumb discourses i see on dash v.v also no, i’m not leaving bc of hate or anything like that please don’t worry!

i’ve only been here since october 2020 (and started this blog in dec) but it’s been a lot of fun !! so thank you so much to everyone who has interacted with me and my content, all my moots, my lovely anons and followers, i wouldn’t have stayed here if it weren’t for u guys xoxo. also, i’ve met some of my genuine close friends on here, and i have this dumb site to thank for that :>

and to those mfs who have sent me anon hate, talked shit behind my back, plagiarized me, stolen my ideas, stirred up discourse just for the funzies, etc, u guys are disgusting and i’m glad im not gonna see u again. i hope u get well soon. or not. idc <3

if you’ve read this far and you still wanna snoop around well uh, feel free to ask me anything and i’ll try my best to answer >:)

。。。

@ anons i hope u don’t mind that i’m answering your questions this way whoops

#please interact with the post once seen!#‘thank u for your service’ cracked me up HELP #gonna be here to chill for a bit but after that BYE BYE 😁#important!!

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the-modernmary · 3 years

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chess, not checkers || a. hotchner x f!reader

Summary: Cross-examining Agent Hotchner should have been a lot more simple than it had been. But when the questioning slips out of your control, you find yourself being profiled right there in the middle of the courtroom. Amazing how one stranger can know you better than anybody you've ever met.

Contains: SMUT! 18+ only, minors DNI. Fingering, (light) choking, semi-public sex, adultery, anger sex, enemies to lovers, edging, lawyer hotch <3

Word Count: 8k+

Comments: This is so heavily inspired by “charcoal grey” because we all know how hot he was in that scene. Thank you to @angelfxllcm for being an absolute godsend as I wrote this and being the most supportive friend ever. (If you haven’t read her work, you absolutely should!)

“Fucking FBI and their selfish ass schedules,” you grumbled as you hurried through the hallway of the courthouse, your intern Robin on on your heels. “Court gets pushed back for a week because Agent Hotchner just had to leave with them on a case instead of working remotely, and then expects us to drop everything to go to court the second he gets back to D.C. As if we don’t have jobs too. As if I don’t have six other cases sitting on my desk that now have to be pushed back because of him.”

Robin scrambled behind you, nodding along to every word that left your mouth. “Does this happen with the, uh…”

“BAU,” you supplied.

“—BAU, right. Do court cases usually get pushed back for them?”

You shook your head as you checked your watch. A glint caught the corner of your eye. Shit, your ring. You hadn’t expected to go to court, and completely forgot to leave it at home. You pulled it off and slipped it into the outside pocket of your bag, hoping nobody noticed.

“No. Most cases from the BAU never go to court,” you explained. “There’s enough evidence against the people they arrest that it’s almost always a plea.”

The Bankers Box in Robin’s hands almost slipped as you placed another file precariously on top of it. “Then why is this case going to court?”

Your step faltered as you processed her question, and you couldn’t hide the disbelief on your face. “You did read the brief for this case, right?” you asked, unsure if you really wanted the answer, except her embarrassed blush and averted gaze gave you enough of one. “Seriously? Okay, well, first of all, because of that, you won’t be sitting at the attorney’s table with us. Instead you’ll be in the public seating. I won’t weaken my case because you decided to be unprepared. If this happens again, you won’t be welcome to join me in court at all, am I clear?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good.” Deciding to take pity on the poor intern, you sighed as you started your explanation. “Our client claims that his arrest was unlawful and therefore none of the evidence they found should be usable. I’m inclined to agree with him, so we’re fighting all of the charges that were made with evidence found after the arrest.”

“So you don’t think he’s guilty?”

“I don’t ask that question. I’m not God and I’m not his priest, I don’t need to hear his confession. I just need to get him out of unjust and illegal charges.”

Robin’s eyebrows furrowed. “So he’s going to walk free? Even after everything he did? How do you sleep at night?”

Fucking Christ, how did this girl even get into law school? You rolled your eyes, suddenly regretting your decision to take on an intern. “No, he’s not going to walk free. He’s going to get a lesser charge, because everything else was obtained illegally. And I sleep very well, actually, because my job isn’t some episode of Law & Order. Less than 10% of my cases ever go to trial. I’m not here to suddenly convince juries that the evidence is wrong. My job is making sure that everybody is given their constitutional rights, that the police are doing their jobs correctly, and that the State isn’t over-punishing. Any cop knows that, and if you ever come across one that doesn’t, you know that you should look into those cases even further. You have to realize, criminal defense lawyers—”

“— are the last line of protection against a corrupt system.” You turned to see your assistant, Marcus, making his way towards you, briefcase and your spare blazer that you keep in the office in hand. “I see you’re giving her your famous anti-prosecutor lecture.”

Marcus helped you slip on your blazer over your satin button up, his hands lingering on your skin for just a little too long to be considered professional, and it made you shiver in anticipation. “God knows she needs it. Thank you, Marcus, for bringing these so quickly. Were you able to get the physical copies of Agent Hotchner’s files?”

Marcus held up his briefcase. “All right here. Although I have to say, I’m a little lost as to why you need his service records.”

The three of you turned the corner to enter the courtroom, your heels clicking on the tiled floor. Robin obediently took her seat in the public viewing area while you and Marcus pushed through the swinging door to settle at your table. “I’ve heard stories of Agent Hotchner’s testimonies. He used to be a prosecutor, so he’s not easily tricked, but he is prideful and will defend his work. I’m going to use that to my advantage. It’s like I always say, practicing law means always playing chess, never checkers.”

Marcus took the seat next to you, making sure to sit close enough that his knee brushed yours the whole time. “You know, I was thinking, this case is complicated,” he whispered, “And we haven’t combed through everything yet… It could take more time than we planned.”

You smirked, knowing exactly what he was insinuating. “Agreed. I’ll tell Tony I have to stay late at the office tonight.”

Before Marcus could continue his flirting, you were distracted by the door to the judge’s chamber opening, revealing the back of a man in a black suit. “Thank you again, your honor, for the continuance,” came the deep timbre of the man, and oh. You certainly weren’t expecting that. “A young girl was able to be reunited with her family this week because of it.”

The man in the doorway turned, and your breath caught in your throat. He was tall and buff and expensive-looking and absolutely gorgeous. His suit was tailored to fit him perfectly, the sleeves of his blazer straining against his biceps. He carried himself with an aura of confidence, like he belonged in the courtroom, and he was making his way directly towards you. Unconsciously, you separated from Marcus, putting as much distance between you and your assistant as possible without raising suspicion.

The man said something to the prosecution before turning to you, hand outstretched. He said your name as a greeting, and your name had never sounded so good. “I’m Aaron Hotchner.”

When you stood up to shake his hand, you tried to ignore the way his eyes raked down your body, or the way the two of you held on just a moment too long to be considered proper. It felt as if he was looking right through you, learning all of your secrets as though they were written on your body. No, you knew that look. He was studying you. “Agent Hotchner, it’s a pleasure.”

“Likewise, Counselor. Please, call me Aaron.”

You raised your eyebrows in Aaron’s direction, still shaking his hand, and it made your skin burn. You dropped his hand. “I’m just glad we’re able to get this case done and over with. Hopefully with no more delays.”

His eyebrows quirked upwards in what could only be described as shock. “I see your reputation precedes you,” was his only reply before going to his respective seat, and if he noticed you watching his every move, he made no indication of it. That being said, you definitely felt his gaze on the back of your head as the judge entered the room and the session began.

As the proceedings dragged on, you and Marcus continued to talk strategy, his hand finding its way to your thigh ever so often. You also continued negotiating with the prosecutor, both of you flashing Post-It notes of potential plea deals that you would be willing to accept, always careful to keep it out of the eyes of the judge and jury. By the time Aaron had been called to the stand, the offer given to you still wasn’t low enough. Fine, if the prosecution wanted to make a fool of themselves, so be it.

You listened to Aaron’s testimony with the prosecution, completely enraptured. There was something about the way he spoke, so full of authority and confidence, that made the entire room drawn to him. He was incredibly intelligent, that much was clear, and despite the many years since he had actually practiced law, that prosecutor candor hadn’t left him. Staying focused on the case had proven to be more difficult than previously expected. You found yourself staring at his lips, and it didn’t take long for your mind to conjure up some obscene and explicit situations starring the man in front of you.

Eventually, his eyes caught yours, and he watched you, his lips — god, those lips — quirked up in a smirk. Aaron watched you expectantly, and in the light of the courtroom, his eyes were almost the color of whiskey, and you wanted nothing more than to drink it all in.

A sharp “Counselor” broke you out of your trance. In the corner of your eye, you could see Marcus looking at you in concern, but he was the furthest thing from your mind now, especially as Aaron let out an amused huff of air.

“Counselor, does the prosecution wish to cross-examine the witness?” the judge asked with barely hidden annoyance, making you think that it probably wasn’t the first time she had asked the question.

You stood up quickly, smoothing down your pencil skirt as you did. “Yes, your honor. Thank you,” you said, trying your best to keep your voice steady as you noticed Aaron’s eyes trailing down your bare legs.

The cross-examination started normally, and Aaron answered all of your questions with careful precision that only a lawyer could pull off. He seemed to know exactly where you were trying to go with your questions, and easily sidestepped any unflattering implication you were trying to make. Long, biased questions were met with short, clipped answers, not giving you anything to work with. Whatever move you made, Aaron was right there, two steps ahead with you. Never in your life had you met somebody who could follow you so easily or could match your wit without so much breaking a sweat.

It was exhilarating.

“Agent Hotchner,” you started, hands clasped behind your back. “Could you please explain to the court how profiles are used when finding and apprehending suspects?”

Aaron sat up a little taller in the witness box. “Using behavioral research and past case studies, we’re able to construct what we call a profile of the perpetrator, or unsub. Anything they do can give us insights as to who they are — their victims, what weapons they use, even how they dispose of the bodies. Once we have a profile of who we believe is committing these crimes, we have our technical analyst run the parameters through her system. From there, narrowing down our search is easy.”

You nodded slowly, pretending to mull over what he was saying. “For clarification’s sake, in layman’s terms, you build your profile off of assumed psychology, and not concrete evidence, is that correct?”

The muscles in Aaron’s jaw flexed, a sure sign he was gritting his teeth. “Behavior analysis is a tool, just like any other—”

“It’s a yes or no question, Agent,” you interrupted, and oh, he was not happy about that.

His tongue darted out from between his lips. “The research we use for behavior is—”

“Yes. Or no.”

Aaron hesitated, his frustration building up to palpable tension that settled in the courtroom like a thick fog. You weren’t giving him a chance to explain or show off anymore, didn’t allow him to be seen as the smartest person in the room anymore, and that was getting to him.

“Yes,” he conceded, grimacing as if admitting that was physically painful for him.

“Thank you,” you replied, and he caught the unspoken that wasn’t so hard now, was it? even if the rest of the room did not. You walked back over to your table, snatching up a piece of paper and holding it in the air. “Your honor, the defense would like to submit Exhibit Seven into evidence.”

Once the judge gave her express permission, you placed the form in front of Aaron with your left hand, perfectly manicured fingers splayed out in front of his eyes. You almost missed the way his head tilted ever so slightly and his eyes narrowed, like he was staring at a puzzle half complete. “Agent, could you please tell us what’s laying in front of you now.”

He leaned forward slightly, eyes scanning the paper before meeting back with yours. “This is a part of our official report of the case. Specifically, it has the profile that was used to lead us to the apprehension of Mr. Mckenna.”

“Does it say on that paper who had the final sign off on the profile before it was circulated?”

“Yes, that would be me. As Unit Chief, my job is to sign and finalize any reports.”

“And could you please read the profile, verbatim, as written on that report?”

Aaron’s face remained neutral, with the exception of his eyebrows scrunching together. Slowly, he had started to piece together your strategy, and he didn’t like it. “The unsub is a white male, between 32 and 40 years old. He’ll most likely be unemployed and driving a van or truck — anything that would let him easily transport his equipment and victims. We believe that he’s also had run-ins with the law before, likely as a juvenile. He’ll come across as friendly, if not a little shy. We believe that this comes from a failed relationship in his past, one where he believes that he was manipulated and wronged, and now he’s going after surrogates for that woman. Killing these women is the only thing that gives him any sort of power. If we can figure out who this past relationship was, it will lead us directly to the killer.”

You paced back and forth in front of the witness stand, your skirt tightening around your legs with every step you took. “Between 32 and 40 years old, unemployed, and killing surrogates… Except Mr. Mckenna is 22 and works part time as a bartender. How do you justify arresting my client with those inconsistencies?”

“As I mentioned before,” Aaron started, his voice dangerously low, “A profile is just one tool we use of many. Not every single part of the profile will fit every single time. Which is why we also rely on outside evidence to ensure that we have the best chance at catching the unknown subject as quickly as possible.”

“Except you had no concrete evidence, which you admit in your own report!” You took two steps closer to him, getting as in his face as possible without risking being held in contempt. With every word that left your mouth, your voice got more and more forceful, and you got more and more under Aaron’s skin.

“All of it was circumstantial at best. You had a hunch, an inherent bias against my client due to his previous conviction record, and you were frustrated at your own inability to get a good lead. But you can’t arrest somebody on a hunch, or because you’re angry. You had no evidence and the man you arrested didn’t even match the profile that you came up with!”

Your eyes locked with Aaron, his gaze heavy, and neither of you dared look away first. “Objection!” came from the prosecutor behind you. Exactly what you wanted. “Argumentative and foundation.” You flashed Aaron a predatory grin.

Two moves to checkmate.

“Sustained,” said the judge.

“Withdrawn.” You tapped the witness bench, hoping to convey an air of aloofness and calm. Aaron scowled. “Agent Hotchner, before joining the FBI, you were a prosecutor, is that true?”

Confusion flashed across his face for the briefest of moments, and it gave you a twisted sense of satisfaction to know that you had the upper hand. You knew the answer to every question you were about to ask, and he knew that. He just couldn’t figure out where you were going with this line of questioning, or what the relevance even was. “Yes, that’s correct.”

You made a soft hum of approval. “Could you please walk us through your higher education?”

“I attended George Washington University for both my undergraduate and law degree.”

“What did you major in for your undergrad?”

Aaron hesitated. “Political Science.”

Check. “So all together, you’ve had about seven years in higher education. In that time, how many psychology classes did you take?”

It was almost sadistic, the way you relished in the slight twitch of his face — the realization that he had been backed into a corner. The silence was deafening as Aaron’s scowl met your smug grin.

“None,” Aaron said finally.

“None,” you repeated, performative shock dripping from your words. “Do you have any academic background in psychology or human behavior, then?”

Aaron’s jaw clenched, and as you made your way closer to the witness stand, you saw his thumb frantically moving back and forth over his fingertips. Clearly, you had struck a nerve. “The FBI has rigorous coursework in order to become a profiler, along with multiple exams and continued training as more research becomes available to us. The profiling classes are no easy feat and are written by experts in the field. Creating profiles has a long and respected history in detective work, and these profilers have caught some of the most prolific serial killers of all time.”

You placed a hand over your chest in faux modesty. “My apologies, Agent Hotchner, I believe I wasn’t very clear. I’m not calling into question the validity and effectiveness of profiles. I’m calling into question the validity and effectiveness of you as a profiler.”

You could practically see the cartoon fire spewing out of Aaron’s ears. He was so close to being in your trap, something he had to have known, too, yet he continued to toe dangerously close to that line.

“A lack of formal education in profiling,” you continued, keeping your voice light, “and the blatant disregard for basic police and legal procedure as shown in this case with my client… I mean, how many other mistakes were made in your past cases? It’s hard to believe that you can read anybody, much less the hardened criminal that you have painted my client to be.”

Checkmate.

“Objection!” cried the prosecutor again. “Your Honor, this is —”

He was cut off by the judge raising her hand. “Sustained. Counselor, I would advise you to tread lightly from here on out.”

You raised your hands in mock surrender. “Withdrawn.” You turned around to make your way back to your table, ignoring Marcus’s look of complete disbelief. Baiting Aaron had been easy, and now all you had to do was wait.

The courtroom was uncomfortably silent for one beat… two beats…

“Not only can I read Mr. Mckenna,” echoed Aaron’s voice, “But I can also read you.”

Once you got back to your desk, you turned around, hands resting on the cool wood of the table top, but you never sat down. Instead, you leaned forward, and arched your eyebrows in a silent challenge — one he was all too eager to pursue.

“The red Harvard Law tag on your briefcase is a perfect match to your lipstick, and you wear the same one every time you go to court. Not because you’re superstitious the way most lawyers are, but because it’s your way of maintaining control in the courtroom, something you’re desperate to keep in every aspect of your life, personal and professional. I would guess that this need goes back to late high school, early college. But you’ve been worried about appearances and how you’re perceived for even longer than that.”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes. So he thought you were Type A? Anybody could have guessed that by your anything. All they would have to do is look at your color coded case files or your daily schedule, planned down to the minute. You had only been trying to sway the jury when you insinuated that he wasn’t a good profiler, but maybe you were actually starting to believe it yourself.

Except Aaron got a dangerous glint in his eye, causing your stomach to bubble with anxiety. Clearly, he was playing chess, too, and by the looks of it, he believed he was winning.

“In fact, you’re so worried about losing control, that despite your busy schedule, you refuse to hire a planner for your upcoming wedding.”

That got your attention. The objection that you were about to call died on your lips, and all you could do was stare with poorly hidden shock. Next to you, Marcus turned pale as a ghost.

Aaron, cocky bastard, continued his profile of you, with no clear signs of stopping anytime soon. “You have a tan where your ring usually is, and I know you’ve been wearing it recently as you subconsciously fiddle with where it would be whenever things in court aren’t going your way. Just like you’re doing now. You still have your maiden name, which you plan on giving up when you do get married because not taking his last name would arouse too many questions that you want to avoid. Just another way your concern of appearances is manifested. So you’re engaged.

“I would say congratulations, but it’s not a happy relationship, not on your side, anyway. Younger female professionals will take their rings off in fear of not being taken seriously, but you’re an established and respected lawyer. You needn't worry about that. So if it’s not about you, it’s about the fiance. You don’t want to be associated with him.”

You gripped the edge of the table, too angry to form words. Your nails dug into the varnish, and you were sure that your heavy breathing could be heard from across the room. This dick. This absolute, garbage, piece of shit dick. The worst part was how casual he sounded as he aired all of your dirty laundry for everybody to hear.

“He’s holding you back, in all aspects of life, but mostly intellectually. He doesn’t have a sliver of your capabilities. The two of you are probably high school sweethearts, prom king and queen type, but while you grew up and matured, he never did. He can’t keep up with you. Still acts the same way he did in high school, only now with more access to alcohol and money. Career wise, he doesn’t have much going for him, probably some sports related pipe dream. But you stay with him because you know how to control him and how to use him to your advantage.”

Aaron’s eyes zeroed in on Marcus, and all of the color drained from your face. The voice in the back of your mind was screaming at you to object, to get the judge involved, anything, before Aaron did any more damage, but you were frozen in your spot. For the first time in your life, you were completely and utterly speechless and spiraling out of control.

“That need for control is also why you’re sleeping with your assistant. It’s casual for you, but not for him anymore. You should break that off. That’s nothing new for you, though. In fact, I would bet that if we looked back at all of your affairs since your engagement, we’d find a long string of men and women, all of whom are your subordinates or of lower status than you. It’s a win-win situation — they’re more than eager to have a chance with you, and you get to stay in control. Oh, you’ll stop when you actually get married, but you continue to push that date back, as well. So…”

He leaned back in his chair, clearly feeling good about himself, and God, you could kill him. You could reach over the witness box and wrap your hands around his throat and squeeze until his whiskey colored eyes popped out of his smug, beautiful face.

Aaron lifted his chin, eyebrows raised in your direction. “Do you believe in my abilities as a profiler now, Counselor?”

That snapped you back into action. You cleared your throat and unnecessarily smoothed down your skirt in an attempt to regroup your thoughts. “Well, Agent Hotchner, thank you for that little show and tell. It’s clear that you are very passionate about your career. However, just like your profile of my client, you have no evidence for any of your unsubstantiated accusations.”

It was a pathetic attempt at saving face, and Aaron knew it, but it had to be enough for you. You turned your back towards Aaron so that you could face the judge, who, to her credit, had a perfect poker face the whole time. “Your Honor, I move to strike Agent Hotchner’s outburst” — not an outburst, Aaron was too composed to ever have one of those, but he grimaced at the word all the same — “from the record, as no question stands before the witness at this time.”

The judge looked at you dubiously, clearly debating her ruling. There shouldn’t have been any reason to worry, you were legally in the right, but there was always the chance that she wouldn’t be on your side. You noticed yourself fiddling with where your engagement ring would usually be, and you cursed yourself under your breath. How could Aaron have possibly known all of that?

“Sustained,” she said finally, “I direct the jury to disregard the witness’s, uh, example when considering the evidence.”

You let out a breath of relief. It wasn’t much of a win — everybody still heard what had happened, it was still in the back of their minds, like the ring of a bell echoing — but at least in regards to the case, you had the legal upper hand.

The judge turned back to you. “Defense, the witness is still yours, if you have any further questions.”

If you were a little more in your right mind, you would have cut your losses, but between your oath to defend your client to the best of your ability and that stupid self assured grin on Aaron’s face, you knew that you really had no choice.

Deep breath in… Slow breath out… You’re at a stalemate now.

“Agent Hotchner,” you said, causing him to perk him up in interest. Clearly, he hadn’t been expecting you to continue. “Wouldn’t an ex-lawyer and an FBI agent be familiar with the rules of decorum in a courtroom?”

His eyes narrowed. “I’m not sure I understand your question, Counselor.”

“Let me rephrase, then. Would you say that you have a history of emotional outbursts and rule breaking in your line of work? And I’ll remind you that you are still under oath.”

Aaron shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “No, I wouldn’t. Integrity is one of our core values, and we take that very seriously.”

With shaking hands, Marcus handed you one of the files you’d had him print out on Aaron. “If that’s so, can you explain why, since your promotion to Unit Chief in 2005, you and your team have had seven disciplinary hearings, one of which being an internal investigation into the excessive force used by one of your agents, and another being a congressional hearing?”

A sick sense of satisfaction passed over you when you saw him get visibly shocked, his poker face breaking for the first time that day. If he wanted to go for blood, you could fight back twice as hard. “I’m not at liberty to discuss either of those cases.”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “Very well, Agent. So between the discrepancies in the profile, your inability to control your temper, and your history of breaking procedure, coupled with the fact that you arrested my client without any warrant by kicking in the door to an innocent civilian’s house, do you really believe that your arrest and the subsequent evidence that came from that arrest was obtained legally? Or do you just not care either way, as long as you’re able to prove that you’re right?”

Right as he opened his mouth to speak, you turned your back on him and started to walk back to your table. Aaron wasn’t even able to get a peep out before you cut him off with a sharp “Question withdrawn. At this time, the defense rests.”

“Our arrest was made on the grounds of—” Aaron tried, and you smirked to yourself. He must have been desperate if he was trying that move twice. You whipped around, gaze steeled.

“I have no further questions, Agent Hotchner,” you repeated, only letting out the slightest hint of amusement. “But thank you for your cooperation with Lady Justice today.”

Aaron’s eyes met yours, and a weight settled in the pit of your stomach. You should have hated him, but something about him had you completely and utterly entranced by him. Maybe it was the novelty of the case. Maybe it was the matching intellects and the fact that he was the only other person who could give you a challenge.

Maybe you just liked the way you got to lose control with him.

As he passed you, his arm brushed yours, and your whole body burned.

“Very cute, Counselor,” he whispered, voice dripping with condescension. “How long did it take you to come up with that little switch up?”

“Don’t patronize me,” you snapped. “I was playing chess, you were playing checkers, and that’s why you lost.”

The rest of the session went on normally, if not a little tense. To your surprise, Aaron hadn’t left immediately after his testimony, and instead took a seat in the section for the public. Good. As soon as courtroom decorum wasn’t a factor, you were sure to give him a piece of your mind.

Court adjourned for the day, and you couldn’t get out of there fast enough. You told Marcus to continue to push for a better plea option as you grabbed your briefcase and stormed out, pushing through the throngs of people until you could see the back of Aaron’s head.

You sped up your steps until you were right behind him, and you grabbed his wrist to stop him in his tracks. “I have a bone to pick with you.”

You pulled Aaron into an empty conference room, hoping to get some privacy before you completely blew your lid. You already had one public humiliation because of him, and you did not need another.

“What is your problem?” you hissed, locking the door behind you. “You had no right to put my personal life on blast like that.”

Aaron placed his hands on his hips, swooping the sides of his suit jacket back, and you had to make a very conscious effort to not stare. “You questioned my profiling abilities, and I proved them.”

“You didn’t prove shit,” you argued, folding your arms across your chest. “Except for the fact that you’re an insufferable bastard.”

“Are you saying that my profile was off? Because if you didn’t want to be caught committing adultery, then you shouldn’t have made it so obvious.”

You gritted your teeth and took a step towards him in a futile attempt to come across as intimidating. Even in your heels, he still seemed to be towering over you. You’d have to level the playing field somehow. You gripped his tie and used it to pull him down so that he was closer to eye level with you. “I don’t need your judgment, Aaron.”

Aaron moved closer to you, and you could feel the heat radiating off his body. His Adam's apple bobbed and it captivated you. “I couldn’t care less about what you do,” he said flippantly. “Matter of fact, I don’t think this fit of anger is even inherently about your little secret coming out. Do you want to know what I think it is?”

“Not at all.”

“I think,” he continued, completely ignoring your protest, “You’re angry because as much as you can dish it out, you can’t take it.”

Your grip on his tie tightened at his words. “Trust me, I can take anything,” you said, voice low and breathy.

Aaron’s eyes flickered to your lips — those kissable, red stained lips of yours. You hadn’t had to reapply your lipstick once throughout the day, and he idly wondered just exactly what it would take to muss up that perfect, pouty red lip.

“I also think that for the first time in a very long time, you didn’t have control, and you liked it.” He bent down a little bit more so that his lips brushed against your ear with every word and you could feel his breath run down your spine. “Aren’t you bored of sleeping with boys who are so far beneath you?”

You’re not sure who initiated it, but the next thing you knew, your lips crashed against his, the two of you making out like it was the last kiss either of you were ever going to get. His hands felt impossibly everywhere all at once — gripping your hips, tugging at your hair, and even snaking under your work blouse to palm at your breast. His teeth nipped at the fibres of your lips. With every movement of his hands, little gasps escaped you, and you could feel the curve of his lips curling up into a smirk.

His fingers trailed up the side of your body, past the curve of your neck, and tangled themselves in your hair before yanking it back, exposing the column of your throat. Immediately he attached his lips to your neck, nipping at your pulse point.

“Aaron,” you whined, trying to regain the breath he stole from your lungs. You practically melted in his arms, going completely weak at the knees, especially as his tongue trailed across the underside of your jaw. You let his tie fall from your grip, instead bringing your hands up to cup his face to pull him in for another kiss.

His lips set a bruising pace, and it caused a fire to burn in the pit of your stomach. You had never once been kissed like this, never once felt so all-consumed by a person. Aaron’s cologne surrounded you, making your head spin. Bruises were sure to form from how harshly he was gripping your hips, but you didn’t care. He was addicting, and you wanted more.

Hotch walked you backwards until you were pressed up against the wall, his thigh shoved in between your legs, forcing your skirt to ride up. The position made his arousal obvious as he pressed against you. The way he held you was possessive, primal even, Unconsciously, you ground down on his thigh, hoping for anything to help relieve the ache between your legs.

Unfortunately for you, Aaron caught on to what you were trying to do, and he chuckled against your lips before pulling away just far enough to speak. “Look at you,” he whispered, and the raspiness of his voice only served to turn you on even more. He hooked a finger under your chin, forcing you to look up at him, and his thumb traced your bottom lip, tugging at it ever so slightly. His other hand slowly trailed its way up your thigh, nails scratching at your skin. “Skirt hiked up around your waist, desperate to get off. Your little boyfriends aren’t doing it for you anymore?”

He pressed his thigh further into you, ripping an involuntary moan from your throat. “Fuck,” you gasped, your hips still moving back and forth against him, not caring how needy it made you seem. “I need… I…”

“What? Big, bad lawyer doesn’t have any more smart ass comments?” he cooed sarcastically, pushing your skirt up even higher. He replaced his thigh with his hand, and his fingers ghosted over your covered pussy, teasing you, not giving you nearly enough contact. “Fuck, you’re so wet already. Go ahead, needy girl, if you’re that desperate.” Aaron yanked down your panties in one fell swoop, and you blindly kicked them off to the side. “Be a good girl and show me how much you want this.”

Without any more of a warning, one of his fingers entered you, and you let out a breathy moan that Aaron was sure to have on repeat in his mind for days to come. When the heel of his palm pressed against your clit, your brain completely short circuited. You threw your head back as far as you could despite being pressed against the wall as his name clumsily tumbled from your lips like a prayer.

“You’re so fucking tight,” he grunted, pressing you further against the wall. “Can’t wait to feel you around my cock.”

Electricity coursed through your veins as he added a second finger, easily finding that spot in you that made you see stars. You rocked your hips back and forth against his hand, eyes screwed shut in pleasure. His lips trailed from your jawline, down your neck, and to your collarbone.

“Look at me,” Aaron ordered, tightening his grip on your chin, and your eyes shot right back open. Instead of the whiskey colored irises you had gotten used to, Aaron’s pupils were so blown that they made his eyes completely black. “I want to see you lose control all over me. Gonna make sure you come harder for me than you have for any of your boy toys.”

That wouldn’t be very difficult. Nobody had ever made you feel the way you did then, Aaron’s fingers buried deep in your cunt and lips exploring every inch of skin he could access. No part of this was for his pleasure — from the curl of his fingers to the slow circles on your clit, it was all expertly calculated to bring you to the edge with as much intensity as possible, and it was all devastatingly effective.

“I’m so close,” you whimpered, and if it weren’t for the wall behind you, you would have completely lost your balance. “More, fuck, please.”

“More?” he mumbled against the column of your throat. “Use your words, sweetheart.”

Coherent sentences were not an option for you at the moment, not when you were so deliciously overwhelmed with pleasure and with Aaron. Besides, how could you tell him that you wanted him to completely and utterly ruin you? That you wanted him to bend you over the conference table and pound into you until you could barely speak. You wanted Aaron to mark you and send you home to your fiance with reminders of every little thing he did to you for the days to come. You wanted raw and untamed passion. You wanted to be consumed, for him to settle in your lungs like smoke, and haunt your dreams for the rest of your life.

You didn’t want nice and calculated the way every other man you’d been with had acted — you wanted Aaron Hotchner to take control.

You couldn't say any of that, so instead, you grabbed his wrist, the one that was holding your chin in place and, without breaking eye contact with him, you guided his hand down until it rested on your throat. “More,” you choked out, giving him an animalistic grin.

That was all it took. Using his grip on your neck, he pulled you in for another kiss, messy and desperate and swallowing all of your incoherent moans as his fingers moved harder, faster.

You clung to him like a lifeline as you felt your whole body tense up, your orgasm fast approaching. You were so fucking close and he felt so fucking good and, God, if this is what losing control felt like, then you and Aaron could do this forever and —

His fingers were gone from you, and you clenched around nothing. You cried out in protest, which only seemed to amuse him.

“Oh? Prom queen isn’t used to not getting what she wants?” Keeping his hand on your throat and you pinned against the wall, he made slow, teasing work of his belt buckle.

Your chest rose and fell in a desperate attempt to catch your breath. “What happened to watching me come undone all over you?” you shot, trying to even out your voice as much as possible. It didn’t work very well. “Did you lose your nerve?”

A dark, humorless chuckle escaped his lips. “Don’t worry, Princess, that’s still the plan. I just never said where. I want to make sure you’re nice and wet and ready for me to turn you into a moaning mess on my cock.”

In an attempt to regain some control of the situation, you rolled your eyes. “Yeah? And how do you expect to do that?”

He smirked and released your throat. Wordlessly, he grabbed your wrist, and guided your hand down your body, further and further until you reached your throbbing pussy. He used his hands to press your fingers to your clit, and you whimpered softly. God, you were dripping, and the extra stimulation didn’t help your shaking legs.

“By making you so needy and whiny that by the end of this, you're begging for me,” he hissed, lips brushing the shell of your ear with every word. He moved your fingers so that you were rubbing small, slow circles around your clit, although it wasn’t nearly enough to give any real relief. “Begging for me to come and fuck you over and over and over again. Because you know that your pathetic fiance and your string of affairs have never made you feel like this before.”

Aaron yanked your hand away from your clit and you could sob. You wanted to cum so badly that you could barely put it into words. Still holding your wrist, Aaron brought your hand up to his face. He took a brief moment to admire the way your fingers glistened, covered in your arousal, before bringing them to his lips and sucking.

Eyes wide, you made a choked noise as you committed the view of Aaron to memory. “Please, Aaron, fuck, I need you,” you whined, the start of a long string of incoherent begging. You needed him then and there, damn the consequences.

He pulled your fingers out of his mouth slowly, and you moaned at the obscene wet noise it made. “So desperate,” he murmured as he began to unbutton his slacks. “All for me. All because I edged you once.”

Aaron pulled down his pants just enough to pull out his dick, and you licked your lips involuntarily when you saw it, big and thick and leaking precum. Clearly, it gave Aaron a bit of an ego boost, because as he ran the head up and down your sensitive folds, he reminded you, “You did say you could take anything, Princess.”

Your breathing came out shaking as you shivered, waiting for him to do something — anything. You were so empty and you needed him so badly. If you didn’t get his dick in you soon, you were pretty sure you would lose your mind completely.

“Fuck me, Aaron,” you moaned, arching your back to press into him more.

He pressed a chaste kiss to your lips in an almost intimate gesture. “Patience is a virtue,” he chastised.

In your haze of arousal, you barely noticed him grabbing your briefcase and digging through the small pocket in the front. You especially didn’t notice his pause when his finger touched something small, round, and metal in the bottom of the bag. The only thing you cared about was him coming back to you, holding up a condom packet with a smirk.

“I knew I’d find one somewhere in your briefcase.” You let the comment slide, the excitement at the prospect of sex with Aaron Hotchner outweighing any jackass comment he could make. Aaron made quick work of putting on the condom. The second he was done, one of his hands ran up your thigh, getting a good grip on it before pulling it up and around his waist.

“Do you feel how wet you are for me? How willing you were to give up control? All for me? That—” Lips pressed to your ear, he pushed his cock into you, bottoming out with one thrust. You threw your head back in pleasure. “—Is playing chess, sweetheart.”

Aaron dropped his forehead to the crook of your neck as he began pounding into you at a desperate pace. He had held off on his own pleasure for long enough, and now he was chasing his orgasm with a ruthless determination. One hand stayed gripping your thigh, the other one braced against the wall next to your head. Aaron nipped at your neck in between moans of praise for you.

“I — oh, fuck — knew it,” he groaned, digging his fingers deeper into your thigh. “You wanted somebody to take control. Somebody who knows how to please you.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and tangled your fingers in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer to you. You were an incoherent mess at this point, his name tumbling from your lips like it was the only thing you knew how to say. At that moment, it probably was.

“Finally, that bratty mouth of yours is good for something. You sound so pretty, moaning out my name. Say it again.” A particularly deep thrust caused you to tug at his hair. “Louder.”

Never before had you met somebody like Aaron Hotchner, and you weren’t sure if you ever would again, so you screwed your eyes shut and let yourself get lost in the absolute pleasure he was providing. You memorized everything you could — the way the calluses on his hands felt against your skin, the way he moaned out your name, how deliciously full you felt, and how for the first time in your life you felt truly seen — so that you could suspend the moment in amber to preserve in the back of your mind.

“Please,” you begged, scratching his scalp lightly with your nails. “I’m so close. Fuck, Aaron, you feel so good, please.”

Aaron tore his lips from your throat, choosing instead to press his forehead against yours. His lips brushed yours with every word he spoke, so close that you were practically kissing him. “That’s it, princess,” he murmured. “Be a good girl. Be a good girl and come. All over my dick.”

When you came, it was with a cry of his name as your whole body shuddered. You clung to him as he continued to fuck you. His thrusts began to stutter, and he took the opportunity to capture your lips in one last, scorching kiss, and you were all too happy to oblige.

You think he moaned something as he came, but you couldn’t hear it over the sounds of skin slapping against skin. He fucked you through his orgasm, making sure that you felt every single inch of him. As if you could ever forget it.

The two of you stayed where you were for a few moments, relishing in the feeling of being full a little longer. Your walls fluttered around Aaron, which caused him to muffle his whimpers into your throat.

“Aaron…” you whispered, not wanting to disturb the moment. “That was so—”

“I know.”

“We shouldn’t have done it.”

“I know.” He pulled back just enough to leave a lingering kiss on your lips, and your whole body burned. “But I don’t regret it. Do you?”

You shook your head. “Not at all.” The confession lingered in the hair for a tense second because both of you seemed to remember where you were.

Aaron slowly pulled out of you, an act that looked almost painful for him when you let out an involuntary moan at the feeling. He could have spent all day in you, if given the chance.

The two of you adjusted yourselves in silence, both of you hoping to be able to leave the room with some semblance of professionalism. At the very least, the goal was to not look like you had just had sex in a courthouse conference room. Shame and embarrassment flooded you — what had you been thinking?

Once you felt that you were presentable enough, you grabbed your briefcase and tried to ignore Aaron burning a hole in the back of your head with his gaze.

“Well, Aaron, this was fun.” You cleared your throat. “I’m sure we’ll see each other around at some point.”

You were two steps away from the door when you heard his smug, courthouse voice come back in full swing.

“Forgetting something?”

You turned around in a huff, ready to go right back to arguing with him, but what you saw made your whole body heat up in embarrassment. There was Aaron with a self-satisfied grin and dangling off his finger was your panties.

“These are cute,” he mused. “It’s a shame I didn’t get to fully appreciate them.”

You rushed over there, fully prepared to snatch them out of his hand. “And you never will,” you shot, but even as you said it, you didn’t make much of an effort to take them out of his hands. You just stared at him and his swollen lips and mussed hair, all your doing.

Ever the gentleman, Aaron started to hand your underwear back to you, but instead of taking it back like you knew you should have done, you covered his hand with yours, closing it in a fist around your panties.

“Who says you can’t?” you whispered, guiding his pantie-filled hand down to his pockets. “This way… You can keep it as collateral. To make sure I’ll come and see you again.”

His breath hitched in his throat as you guided him to put your panties into his suit pocket, and you were glad to be the one surprising him this time.

“I don’t care about your fiance,” Aaron started, and you braced yourself for the worse. “But I’m not interested in being the ‘other man’ to your affairs with your assistants, too.”

“Consider it ended,” you promised, not caring how desperate or easy it made you look. You wanted to keep Aaron around for a long, long time.

Just until the wedding, you corrected yourself.

You slung your briefcase over your shoulder, wincing as it dug into a bruise that Aaron had left. It would be there for a while — you’d have to find a way to hide it from Tony until it faded. The thought made you stupidly giddy. “I’ll see you around, Aaron.”

He nodded in goodbye, and you slipped out of the conference room on shaking legs. As soon as the door closed behind you, you reached into your bag, and reluctantly slipped on your engagement ring.

#aaron hotchner fanfiction #Aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner smut #criminal minds fanfic #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x y/n #my writing #criminal minds

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helloalycia · 3 years

Text

teenage dirtbag [five] // wanda maximoff

summary: spending the afternoon with the Maximoff twins proved to be interesting... and prom night finally arrives!

warning/s: none.

author's note: here’s the final part to this mini series! i’m so glad you all enjoyed it and i appreciate every note i get, thank you 😊♥️ i’ve still got other wanda stuff in the works that will be posted soon, so stay tuned!

After a few tries and encouragement from Pietro, I managed to win the black cat plush toy for Wanda. It was strange, her brother wanting me to make a move on her, but I guess it reassured me a bit to know he thought I was actually good enough for her.

The two of us headed to the diner next door to find Y/BF/N and the other Maximoff twin, myself hiding the plush toy behind my back.

"Finally, you two took forever!" Y/BF/N exclaimed when he saw us approaching their table.

"Y/N here is one stubborn girl with that machine," Pietro explained with a smile as we took our seats. His eyes fell to the drink in front of him. "Oh, you ordered!"

"Just the drinks," Y/BF/N said, before looking to me as I slid in beside him in the booth. "I got you a Cherry Coke. Your favourite."

I smiled gratefully. "Thanks."

"So, what d'you win?" he asked, quirking a brow.

Feeling the heat rising up my neck, I looked to Wanda who was sat opposite Y/BF/N. She was leaning on her hand as she stared at me with a kind smile on her lips.

"You said you wanted the black cat," I said nervously, before holding it out to her. "Here."

Taken aback, she raised her eyebrows but accepted the gift. "Aww, Y/N... you didn't have to!"

I shrugged, smiling awkwardly.

She grinned, studying the toy before looking up at me with sparkling hazel eyes. "I love it. Thank you."

Nodding, I glanced at Pietro who was grinning with pride before me. I could feel Y/BF/N staring at me and when I looked his way, he was smirking and wiggling his eyebrows knowingly. Rolling my eyes, I focused my attention on the menu to distract myself.

"So... what shall we order?" I asked, hoping to change the subject.

After relaying our order to the waitress, Pietro was the first to speak up.

"Okay, I have to ask," he began, leaning forward slightly as he looked between Y/BF/N and I. "Are you guys dating?"

I almost choked on my drink as I looked over my glass to see him grinning cheekily. He knew full well that Y/BF/N and I were only friends, so what was he playing at?

"Definitely not," Y/BF/N answered with a chuckle. Y/N here is practically my sister."

"Exactly," I added, giving Pietro a look that basically said I'm going to murder you. "He's been my best friend since we were kids."

"So there's never been feelings there?" Pietro continued to question curiously, leaning back in his seat.

Wanda slapped his arm gently. "Leave them alone, Piet."

"Never," Y/BF/N answered for us both. "Like I said, she's my annoying little sister."

I quirked a brow and looked to him. "Little? I think I'd be the older sister in this fake sibling relationship,"

"But I'm a month older than you," he stated like that was explanation enough.

"But you act like a child," I retorted. "I'd be the older one."

He rolled his eyes, though a smile was playing on his lips. "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say."

I rolled my eyes, too, before looking back to the twins. Wanda was smiling as she sipped her drink and Pietro had a mischievous glint in his eyes as he looked to me. What the hell was he thinking?

"So you're not interested in Y/BF/N," he thought aloud. "And you definitely weren't interested in me..."

"You made a move on Y/N?" Wanda asked suddenly, looking to her brother with knitted brows.

I breathed out through my nose, eyes falling to the table with embarrassment.

"Yeah, but she made it clear she didn't like me," Pietro said with a shrug, before looking to me again. "So who do you like then? Or is their a girlfriend we don't know about?"

Looking up, I saw three sets of eyes on me and I suddenly felt nervous. Y/BF/N and Pietro were watching with amusement dancing in their eyes as Wanda chewed her lip curiously, awaiting an answer.

"You know there's nobody, Pietro," I said through a forced smile as I looked to him.

His cheeky smile was still present as he said. "Really? I thought you mentioned someone back then. Whilst we were playing in the arcade."

Oh, boy, was he going to die.

"You misunderstood," I played along, before kicking him in the shin to shut him the hell up.

Of course, it was just my luck that the leg in front of me was actually Wanda's. She squeaked an 'ow' as she bent down to rub her leg.

"What was that?" she asked with confusion.

Pietro must have pitied me, having put me on the spot enough in the past two minutes, as he looked to his sister with an apologetic smile. "My bad, Wands. My foot just twitched."

I breathed out with relief as Pietro looked to me, trying not to laugh. He was lucky we were with company otherwise I would have killed him there and then.

—

I wasn't expecting to be hanging out with the Maximoff twins on a Saturday afternoon, but by the time dinner came to an end, I realised how much I enjoyed the day. And I think I could say the same for Y/BF/N, too.

The rest of our meal was pretty uneventful after Pietro's initial teasing, to my relief, and Pietro eventually quit it with the overt hints towards his sister. The last thing I wanted was for Wanda to feel uncomfortable, so I was glad he eventually cut it out.

At the end of the meal, Pietro and Y/BF/N offered to split the bill between them – something about chivalry not being dead, I don't know, all I knew was Wanda and I were getting a free meal so why complain? – and headed to the till to pay, leaving Wanda and I alone.

She was hugging her new black cat plushie on her lap adorably, making me smile.

"Aren't black cats supposed to be bad luck or something?" I asked, earning her attention.

She put her arm on the back of her seat, leaning her head on her hand as she gave me her full attention. "I didn't peg you for the suspicious type," she taunted.

I smiled. "I never said I believed it. Just what I've heard."

She chuckled, licking her lips. "Fair point... I don't believe it either. I just love black cats. They're so cute and get way too much stick for merely existing."

It was my turn to laugh. She had such a unique way of thinking that I couldn't help but be attracted to. Something as simple as the way she was smiling at me right now warmed my heart.

"How is your hand by the way?" she suddenly asked, eyes looking down to it.

I squeezed it into a fist and released. The purple bruising along my knuckles had turned yellow-green which meant it was getting better, but it did still hurt a little. Nonetheless, I didn't want to make Wanda feel bad, so I gave her a reassuring smile.

"It's okay," I said, making her look up at me with concerned eyes. "I mean, it hurts a little, but it's getting better."

She pursed her lips, nodding. "Nate really did deserve what you did. Bet it felt good."

I raised my eyebrows with surprise, certainly not expecting that. "I guess it did a little, but..."

"It's okay, I'm not biased," she promised with a slight smile. "We broke up, remember?"

I relaxed before mirroring her expression. "Then yeah, it felt pretty great. Karma for hitting me with that stupid football."

She chuckled, leaning back into her seat and clutching her cat. "Karma, indeed." There was a pause, before she grew excited. "So prom is coming up. How are we feeling?"

I groaned playfully. "We're feeling exhausted already. I'm not a huge prom fan."

She gasped. "Seriously? Y/N, come on, it's our last one! How aren't you excited?"

I pulled a face. "The concept of dancing in a hall with people I barely speak to isn't exactly appealing."

She straightened up, hugging her cat closely. "So what, you're not gonna go?"

"I'm not sure yet... Y/BF/N has plans to ask someone and really wants me to go, too," I admitted. "But I've not decided. I might just leave him to it."

She tilted her head to the side curiously, eyes studying me intensely. "What if somebody asked you to go with them? Then would you go?"

I tried not to laugh as I leaned my head in the palm of my hand on the table. "Nobody is going to ask me, Wanda. Nobody even knows who I am."

She scoffed playfully. "Now that's just not true. You're beautiful, Y/N. Funny. Kind. Intelligent. Someone is bound to ask."

I rolled my eyes, hoping to distract from the heat rising to my cheeks. I knew she was just saying all of that stuff to be nice, but God was I awful at accepting compliments.

She must have noticed as she leaned forward on her own palm, eyes glowing with entertainment. "Okay, what if you asked somebody?"

Appreciating the subject change, I leaned back in my seat. "I wouldn't even know who to ask."

She thought about it for a moment, before saying, "Pietro was being annoying earlier with all of that questioning, but he's right. Is there nobody you're even remotely interested in at school?"

I quirked a brow, wondering if she was serious. The way she was watching me patiently, a small smile tugging at her lips, made me believe she was. And I found that I couldn't bring it in myself to completely lie to her. So, I didn't.

"There's one person," I admitted reluctantly, swallowing hard. This piqued her interest as she sat up straight, an excited look on her face. I continued, "But I could never ask her."

She gave me an are you serious? look. "And why not?"

I tensed my jaw, smile fading at the thought. "She wouldn't say yes."

Wanda's expression softened. "I doubt that."

Feeling a little uncomfortable, I shuffled in my seat. "She wouldn't. And it's fine anyway! I mean, I wouldn't even know what to say. It's pointless."

"Try," was all she said. And in response to my confused face, she added, "Try asking me. Practice what you would say if I was this girl."

I shook my head. "Wanda, that's not–"

"Just try!" she insisted, sitting back in her seat and smiling encouragingly. "No harm, no foul, right?"

Maybe a little, I thought, but straightened up anyway.

"Okay, er..." I cleared my throat, suddenly feeling nervous as her eyes followed my every move. Looking up, I felt intimidated by her gaze, even though she had the softest smile and kindest eyes directed my way. "Wanda, would you like to go to prom with me?"

Without hesitation, she nodded. "I'd be honoured to, Y/N."

It was fake, this whole thing was 'practice'. But God, I wanted it to be real so bad. She held my gaze, confident and startling and wonderful all at once, and I had no idea what to do. My palms were getting sweaty and my heart was racing the longer she stared. My gaze fell to her lips at the wrong time, as she licked them and I wanted to lean in, wanted to kiss her. I wanted to kiss her hard and tell her how I felt. I wanted to ask her to prom and dance with her in the school gym. I wanted to hold her hand and pull her close, staring into her eyes without fear of going too far.

I wanted her.

"Okay, we're all done here," Pietro's voice broke our staring contest. He clapped his hands together, stopping by the table. "You both ready to go?"

Wanda nodded, already sliding out from the booth. "I'm ready. Y/N?"

I looked up and forgot how to breathe when she smiled down at me.

"Y-yeah," I got out, wiping my palms on my jeans before sliding out the booth. "All ready. Let's go."

—

Prom came upon us in no time and I'd made the decision to attend. My sister ended up convincing me with Y/BF/N, the two of them rambling about how it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience and a rite of passage before graduating high school. As much as I hated the thought of attending, I knew they were right, so I agreed to go.

Y/S/N came over to help me get ready, as she was the one who picked my dress. I wanted to wear a cute pantsuit, not really one for dresses, but after her complaints – "you're really milking that whole 'I'm a lesbian' look aren't you?" – I agreed on a dress that she chose.

She helped me do my hair and makeup before taking loads of embarrassing photos of me at the door. I went to prom with Y/BF/N and his date – some girl he liked in his Maths class – which wasn't too bad, but I didn't want to third wheel too much, so I gave them space when we actually arrived.

The school had done a good job at converting the gym into something unrecognisable, I must admit. Plus there was food, which was always a good distraction.

Some acquaintances from some of my classes said their hellos to me and engaged in some quick conversations before moving on. Admittedly, it wasn't too bad catching up with people I'd shared class with over the past several years. Y/BF/N even had a few dances with me, both him and his date, which was sweet, but honestly, I still felt out of place.

Two hours in, I was already fed up of the experience, opting to stand on the sidelines by a cocktail table with a sad glass of punch. I definitely didn't expect to see Wanda approaching me with an impressed smile on her lips. I hadn't actually seen her since arriving, the place full of students and myself barely recognising anyone as it was, let alone in a full gymnasium.

"You came," she said when she stopped my table, eyes looking me up and down. "You look amazing, Y/N."

She was one to talk. I tried not to drool over how beautiful she looked. I assumed she'd be one to wear a dress, but I guess I assumed wrong as she was pulling off a burgundy suit and white blouse. Her hair was curled and left out, paired with a smokey eye makeup look that only complimented her eyes perfectly.

"Says you?" I replied with a smile. "You look gorgeous, Wanda."

She smiled bashfully. "Thank you... so what made you change your mind in coming?"

I laughed uncomfortably, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Partially forced by my family, partially felt like I had to."

She laughed alongside me. "Well, I feel like you made the right choice."

"Not too sure about that," I joked, before straightening up. "So, who was lucky enough to bring Wanda Maximoff as their date to the prom?"

She rolled her eyes at my compliment, smile on her lips still. "Nobody. I came alone. Well, alone but with my brother."

I was surprised at that, but tried to hide it with a nod. "Alone works, too."

"Says the girl who also came alone," she teased.

I couldn't help but smile with amusement. "Yeah. Says she."

Setting her purse on the table, she began to open it. "I was looking for you earlier. But I couldn't find you."

I watched as she fumbled around in her purse. "Yeah? And what did you need?"

After a moment of searching, she finally pulled out two slips of paper that looked like tickets. Holding them up with a small smile, she said, "I've got two tickets to the Paramore concert happening in the summer."

My jaw dropped with disbelief. "You're kidding."

She shook her head, holding them towards me. I accepted them, looking to see if she was pulling my leg. She wasn't.

"These are really good seats," I pointed out, before looking up at her. "You scored big time."

She laughed as I held the tickets out to her. Accepting them back, she said, "I did. And I bought them for a reason."

I raised an eyebrow as she watched me.

"We've got to get matching tee shirts somehow, right?" she joked lightheartedly before looking to me with certainty. Green eyes sparkled with hopefulness as she said, "Come with me."

My mouth went dry. She was asking me to go with her, holy shit.

I opened my mouth, about to speak, but she cut me off.

"Don't say maybe," she said, chewing on her lower lip nervously. "Say yes."

The music and the dancing students and the lights all faded into nothing as Wanda waited for a response, stepping closer to me, way too close to be platonic. I was overwhelmed, definitely not expecting this. Never in a million years did I think Wanda Maximoff, the most popular girl in our grade, would be asking me to see Paramore with her. I didn't even think she knew I existed!

Her eyes darted between mine patiently, sending shivers down my spine. I could feel her breath tickling my lips as she waited and I looked down to hers, suppressing the urge to lean in.

"Yes," I finally spoke, voice barely a whisper as I swallowed hard. "I'll go with you."

She nodded, but that wasn't enough as she licked her own lips. I looked back to her eyes, only to see her looking down at mine.

"Can I kiss you?" she muttered softly, making me freeze in place.

Her eyes looked back to mine, dark and patient. I managed to nod weakly, and she wasted no more time when pressing her lips to mine a in a slow, gentle, warm kiss. Her hand wrapped around my waist, tugging my body close to hers, as the other rested behind my neck, giving me goosebumps and turning my insides to jelly.

I closed my eyes, melting into her embrace, one hand planted firmly on her waist as the other rested on her chest. She tasted like peppermint and her floral perfume was infiltrating my senses, making my head dizzy in the best way possible.

When she pulled away, I opened my eyes and was immediately submerged in pools of green. Still so close to her, I kept ahold of her waist as she did the same with me, eyes flickering down to my lips once more.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time," I admitted breathlessly.

She looked to me again. "Why didn't you?"

Her lips were swollen slightly, red lipstick ruined. I could only imagine the mess on my own lips, but I didn't care.

I smiled nervously. "You were with Nate."

She tried not to laugh. "How stupid of me." Eyes falling to my lips again, she added, "I should have broken up with him sooner if it meant I could do this."

I smiled widely, heart fluttering in my chest at her words. Leaning forward, I took her bottom lip in mine, giving her a final kiss that was long overdue before pulling away.

"In case you couldn't tell, you were the girl I wanted to ask to prom," I said, stepping back slightly, but taking her hands in mine.

She bit her lip to contain her smile. "I figured... and for the record, I would have said yes."

My cheeks began to heat up, but I smiled nonetheless. "Well, in that case... Wanda, would you like to go to prom with me?"

She grinned. "I would be honoured, Y/N."

I mirrored her expression. She held out her free hand.

"Do you wanna dance?" she asked gently.

I accepted her hand, squeezing it gently. "I'd love to."

Before either of us could make a move to do so, we heard Pietro's voice shouting in the distance.

"Fina-fucking-lly!"

We turned to the left to see him racing towards us in his blue suit, a knowing smile on his lips.

"You took forever," he said with disbelief to his sister. "I thought I'd have to keep flirting with Y/N in front of you for you to get the hint and make a fucking move."

Wanda rolled her eyes, but I smiled as her cheeks dusted pink.

"And you!" he said, looking to me. "You're so oblivious it hurts."

"Wanda didn't know I existed before this year," I told him, half joking and half serious. "I had every right to be."

Wanda squeezed my hand, earning my attention. She shook her head. "That's not true. I always noticed you."

I gave her a knowing look. "Seriously?"

With an endearing smile, she nodded. "Seriously."

I sighed, looking away and definitely not expecting that. "Well, okay then."

She laughed, pulling me close and wrapping an arm around my waist comfortably. "I believe you owe me a dance. C'mon.

Pietro opened his mouth to speak, but Wanda merely pushed past him, guiding me to the dance floor.

"Not now, Piet," she said, before looking to me with sparkling eyes. "I want to dance with my girlfriend."

I was sure it was impossible for me to smile anymore.

"Girlfriend," I noted aloud, nodding. "I like the sound of that."

She grinned before standing opposite me, holding out her hand. And as I accepted it, I felt a warmth spread all over me that was only possible because of one girl and one girl only.

Wanda Maximoff.

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff au #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #elizabeth olsen #marvel imagine #mcu #marvel #mcu imagine #scarlet witch #scarlet witch imagine

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