Seven Tears Part 4
SELKIE!EZRA X F!READER
W/C: 3300ish
SERIES SUMMARY: Months after being abandoned, she does something rash and summons a selkie, who wishes to bring her comfort and maybe more.
CHAPTER SUMMARY: Pearl must face her past, though they have the support of her family, she and Ezra will be pushed toward a big change.
WARNING: Olde Timey gender norms, sexism, spouse abandonment,Though set in Ireland, and Ireland's predominantly white, Reader is physically undescribed, as are her blood relatives, her missing spouse and his family are white, a catholic confession and bs, fisticuffs, the f-bomb just once, you know Jamie deserves it, angst (but you know it’s me, so soft angst, mentions of food, throwing up, pregnancy (?) Ezra is a selkie, yes, it deserves its own warning. Excessive use of pet names.
(as always see something say something. please let me know in my DMs if there is a warning I missed)
NOTES: The events of Swept Away are mentioned, it's is an 800-word drabble, you may want to read if you haven't. 💚 thank you lovelies!
PART 1
PART 3
Gaeilge translation
mo bhuachaill my boy
leath choróin half-crown
Tapadh leat Tilda agus Fergus Thank you Tilda and Fergus
Go n-éirí an t-ádh leat May luck rise to you
A ghrá love
Ezra spends the late morning at the pub, on top of spending early mornings gutting fish at your family’s fish mongery. Fergus and Tilda are always happy to give Ezra odd jobs when they have them. When they run out of things for him to do, he walks down to the water to have a visit.
Watching the crashing waves, the briney air filling his lungs, he thinks back to the wedding party, you dancing with your kin, legs kicking out and crossing, the jumps, the skips and turns, your arms linked with your cousins. Your eyes alight, smile broad. When you came to pull him in to join the dance, you were glowing and breathless, reminding him of when he brings you to your peak. Ezra becomes restless thinking about it, hoping you will be home soon.
He wants to be like Fergus and Tilda, who get to work together. He told Tilda so, and she gave a hearty laugh, it is not all it is cracked up to be, mo bhuachaill (mu VOO-uh-{k}hill) she had told him as she patted his cheek. Fergus agreed with Ezra, telling him it was wonderful to be close at home while he did his day’s labor, then he looked upon Tilda, with 60 some year old eyes that held all the love of a newlywed. They paid in meat pies and a couple of half-crowns for the morning.
Ezra makes his way to the house and put up one of the pies to warm in the oven for lunch. You arrive soon after, the brisk air following you through the door, ready for lunch.
“My stomach is positively howling,” you tell him taking off your scarf, hat, and coat, then kicking off your boots. "What smells so delicious?"
"Well my pearl, luckily I have spent several of my morning hours, working at the pub in exchange for some savory pies, and two shiny leath choróin (leeth COR-on). Ezra pulls you into his warm arms.
“It will be ready to eat as soon as I taste your delicious lips,” his mouth meets yours needily, sealing it to yours, and presses against you. You smile and return his affections, your hands in his hair.
Then he gives a wet open-mouthed kiss on your neck, nuzzling with his nose and nipping at your collarbone and the crook of your neck, what you have come to understand is his way of greeting you. When you come up for air, you murmur, food with a laugh. Ezra laughs, going to the hob for the pie. You eat in companionable quiet, playing footsy under the table in your socked feet, as your hands and mouths are occupied and smile cheekily at each other.
After lunch, the pair of you head back to the strand and walk the length of it. The tide is out and seabirds are getting their own lunch. Chatting about your mornings, how your mother and father are doing, and your brothers, how Tilda and Fergus are fairing. There is no big news, just every day this and that and then you throw up your entire portion of the pie. Ezra's soft brown eyes become wide, his brows shooting up.
“A stòr! You are unwell, let me get you home.”
You already feel better, but you nod. Ezra gives you a temperature-testing kiss on your forehead and shakes his head. You shrug. But you both remember your fainting spell on your Da’s boat. And you count a calendar in your mind. He keeps his hands on you as you traverse the steep path, one hand holding yours and the other on your lower back. Once you are on level ground he pulls you to his side. While all of this is not too unusual, there is a feeling that he is treating you as though suddenly made of porcelain.
When you arrive at your little home, which no longer shows signs of neglect. The front door has a wreath on it, the window boxes are empty due to the time of year, but no longer have dead plants hanging out of them, and the other debris that Ezra noticed upon his arrival, is cleaned up. A testament to your renewed happiness. You put key to lock but the door swings open before you turn the key. All thoughts of your health gone.
Ezra immediately puts you behind him as he enters, puffing up. He calls to the house at large. Jamie comes around the corner, and you instantly see red. You push passed Ezra ready to give him a piece of your mind. How dare he come into your home like this, uninvited, while you are not at home, after his behavior at the wedding and the tavern. You storm up to him and then out of the bedroom comes Colin, a dark bundle of sleek fur gripped tight in his hand, and you are brought up short, looking like you have just seen a ghost.
Ezra, on the other hand, is not thrown. Colin has his pelt, so he moves quickly, flaring his nostrils, his head down, and eyes up, menacing. He makes a sound you have never heard from him before. Animalistic and threatening. He would have Colin on the ground in a trice, but Jamie is on him. You shout. Ezra manages to wrestle Colin to the floor. But Jamie has something in his hand. You see it flash, a knife, you go to grab his arm, and Jamie shakes you off. Ezra, seeing this out of his periphery, turns to help you, his boot on Colin's throat. Jamie shoves you, and you are down on the floor. Ezra becomes truly feral now, eyes black, he bellows. Going for Jamie, no longer caring about the pelt, only you. He defies myth again. Jamie's knife hand goes up, and the knife catches Ezra's cheek.
“Stop!” You shout with all the air in your lungs from the floor. The men mercifully seem taken aback and do just that. You pull a handkerchief from your coat, kneeling beside Ezra, you press it to his cheek, “I am so sorry, my love.”
You stand and Ezra gets up, holding the now dark red scrap of material.
“How dare you, James Michael Kelly!! Get the fuck out of my house! NOW!” Jamie turns tail and leaves. “AND YOU!” you turn your full attention to Colin and stalk toward him, and he has the good sense to look ashamed, at least for now.
“How dare you? Come back here like you’ve caught me in wrongdoing?! Where have you been, Colin Patrick Kelly? You leave me for months and months, doing what? Heaven knows! And, and then you come here, now? To what? For what? I have found another.”
This is what the toe-headed man needs to shove aside his shame.
“You didn’t find another,” he spits, and shakes the pelt at you, taunting You flinch, then Colin looks you up and down disgusted. “You summoned a selkie!”
Your eyes fill with angry tears, and you hate yourself for it. But Ezra will not have it, he takes you in his arms, dark eyes on Colin’s light ones his head tipped back.
“There only one here who should be rueful and repentant. And I am looking at him. You deserted your wife, left her like a coward. Left her in a way she could not move forward. You should be standing before her, all sackcloth and ashes. You caused her to call on a selkie. And oh yes I came,” Ezra turns from Colin to look at you. He wants there to be no mistake. “I came because I already loved her and will love her better than you ever would or could.” He makes show of kissing you, holding your cheek in his free hand, then turns back to Colin pointing at his pelt, “Now drop that and go, tis not your property.”
His eyes take on a dangerous glint-
“Trust me when I say, you would not care to have me take it from you.”
Colin seems to be sizing Ezra up, then looks at you, his face a mask.
“She is still my wife, and this is my house,” he says finally.
“You can not be serious, Colin. You want to come back to me?”
“Not so much as I do not want some other ‘man’ having what is mine.”
It is here, that Ezra punches him hard across the face, and Colin goes down hard. Ezra picks up his pelt and takes you from the cottage, headed, he is not sure where. You do not speak, walking in a daze, but you do have a destination. Your parents' house.
You let yourself and Ezra in, and your mother sees the stricken look on your face, and though completely forgotten by Ezra, his bloody cheek. She hollers for your father and pulls Ezra into their large kitchen to look at his wound. You follow feeling a little lost. You sit on the stool you used to watch your mother cook from, and the warm light of the kitchen and familiar smell soothes you slightly.
But it is not to last for as soon as your father enters and your parents look to you to explain, you burst into tears again. You try to get through the story, but Ezra mercifully takes over, and when he is done your parents are livid. Your Da takes off almost immediately, not before giving your forehead a kiss and patting Ezra's shoulder, giving it a warm squeeze. After settling you both to rest with hot toddies, your Mam tells you to remain at the house and leaves as well.
Patrick is in a state as he marches to your home. Seeing Ezra's face bloodied, you hardly able to speak for wailing in fear, confusion, and despair in his head. He knows in the eyes of the church and by the letter of the law, you have nary a leg to stand on. You are still married, and the house is legally Colin's, not that he contributed more to it than you or your family but the deed is in his name because that is what is done. A woman like you needs to count on decency of family, friends, and neighbors to use their heads and hearts to not condemn her. He has been proud to say that other than the likes of Jamie and a very few, Patrick’s village has not let him down, not let you down. But that is all going to change now that Colin was back, not with everyone but with many. Enough to make things difficult.
Lost in the argument running inside his mind, Patrick comes upon your red door suddenly. Seeing a light through the mullioned window, he hammers on the door. It swings open and Colin has the good sense to not look surprised.
“Da- Partick.” Colin corrects.
“Go one further, you can call me Mister Brennan.”
Colin again shows some common sense, and nods somewhat sheepishly. Patrick scrutinizes him.
“Why sir, could you not show this deference to my daughter I wonder,” Patrick muses. “What is your plan? Do you really intend to get back in her good graces? Do not answer that.”
“Jamie contacted me and told me she is- she’s shacking with a selkie man. In my house no less!”
“And would you care about the integrity of your house so much, if she were haunting it on her own? Mourning her ‘lost husband’. Would you have run home then? Do not answer that. I am here to tell you to remove nothing from this home. Better yet, stay at your dear brother's place. While this gets sorted. Got me? This, you can answer.”
“Yes. I got you.”
Deirdre marches to the stone church in the heart of the village. Murmuring, as she prays on each bead of her rosary. She enters the building, crosses herself with her deft fingers after they dip in the ornate vessel of holy water, and then makes her way to the dais. The smell of frankincense and myrrh comforts her, on bended knee, she crosses herself again before the altar and goes to the confessional. The door slides open the instant she seats herself.
"In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession."
'"May almighty God have mercy on you, and having forgiven your sins, lead you to eternal life. Amen," Father Liam O’Brian intones.
Deirdre confesses her venal sins and does her act of contrition, is given her penance, and is absolved of her sins. But Deirdre lingers, and the priest sits with her, patiently.
“What is weighing on your heart, Dierdre?” He asks after several moments stretch.
“Colin has returned, Father.” It is a whisper as if so large a sin for even the confessional.
“Holy Ma- Colin Kelly?”
“The same.”
“Let us walk, Deirdre,” he says, and stepping out of the confessional, Deirdre follows. Father OBrian guides her out into the garden behind the church next to the rectory. She tells him the story, right up to dressing Ezra’s cheek, and the vicar listens. Nodding in places where he is familiar with the story, when Colin disappeared, remembering counseling you in those first weeks, the wedding of your cousin Courtney, as he was the officiant, recollecting you introducing Ezra shyly, yes, you only identified him as a friend to the priest, but you knew, he knew Ezra was more.
“What recourse do we have?”
“In the sight of God, your daughter is married to Colin Kelly,” the priest says solemnly.
“He deserted her, for all most a year, doing who knows what, and only returned for what he sees as his property. And that includes my daughter.” bristles Deirdre.
“What he was doing is between him and God, he must seek forgiveness of course.”
“What about her? What about her and Ezra?”
“I needn’t remind you that she has been living in sin for some time, and we have all turned a blind eye, passing no judgment upon her. She was suffering, we all knew it and felt for the girl but her husband is claiming his right to her," Father O’Brian clears his throat uncomfortably, “E-Ezra must go back to where he came from, and she needs to repent her sins, then weave and cleave to her husband. I am happy to council her-”
“Father Liam!”
“Did you expect a different answer, my child?”
“Do not. I knew you in short pants!”
Deirdre only feels the slightest pang of guilt, she must make up for it, but for now, she storms toward home. She kicks herself. She should not have expected a different answer… the rosary moves in her hand, and she looks to the Mother Mary. You want something from the son, you talk to the mother, she reminds herself.
Ezra cradles you on the large sofa in the parlor of your parents' home. You both discuss what they are possibly up to. You have a good idea, you roll your eyes as you tell him your mam is most definitely praying, and da… well, good luck Colin. You check on his cheek, it was going to scar, perhaps not too badly but-
“We have been fully derailed, moonbeam, we went back to the house because you were not feeling well.”
“True, my stomach hurts, but I don think it is for any reason except for Colin turning our lives upside down and shaking it like a blasted snow globe.”
“Is that really all it is? I think we have a real problem, A ghrá (uh GRAWH).”
“What do you mean? I mean I know, but-” You look over at the seal skin, panic rising. “Please, Ezra, my love- “
Ezra knows at once what you are thinking, he holds your face in his hands, he tells you something in the old language, and his eyes and voice are soothing as always. You are proud that you know what he is saying most times when he reverts to it, but this time it is more Irish than you have, you tell him you do not understand. He kisses you in response, putting his forehead to yours.
“I said, ‘do not be afraid my love, and always remember, if you want me, I will not go anywhere without you.’”
“But-” you begin, but Ezra kisses your forehead.
“I will take care of it, though I fear it will more change than I planned. I cannot help but wonder if you will be willing.”
“What do you mean more change than you planned? I will go with you, Ezra. Anywhere.”
Ezra’s eyes flash, perhaps a little greedily, then he kisses you hard and wanting.
“Let us not get ahead of ourselves, Pearl. I must speak with someone first.”
He plans to wait until one of your parents returns. It is your father, he had met up with your mother and she explained where she had gone and what happened. And that she is on her way to speak with your eldest sister Felicia, instructing her to talk with the boys about the situation. The family is to come together for dinner tonight. Your Da is not sure you will be up to such a thing, but Dierdre is firm in her belief that the family must surround and protect you.
You have dozed off on the couch, so Ezra carefully extracts himself from under you and murmurs to Patrick that he has an errand to run.
“Will you be back for supper?”
“I would not dare miss Deirdre’s sumptuous cooking, perish the thought,” Ezra says a hand on the older man’s shoulder.
Ezra makes his way to Fergus and Tilda’s, they can see his distress the moment they put their eyes on him. Tilda brings him before the fire to warm him.
“Tell me mo bhuachaill what has happened,” her dark eyes leveling his, a reassuring hand on his knee, she gives it a squeeze.
“Her husband has returned, he wants to stake his claim,” Ezra looks disgusted, and then anguished. “I reckon she is with child. Mine, of course.”
Tilda puffs her cheeks and then lets the air out in a burst through her nostrils but stays silent.
“You reckon, how?”
“I can tell she has skipped a moon cycle... she's had a fainting spell, and then today she threw up. I am not sure, but-”
“Have you spoken with her?”
“I was going to, and then-”
“The husband”, Tilda finished.
“The husband.”
“You know the archipelago off Port Noo?”
“Of course”
“My kin built some cottages on Rón Inis (Roan Inish), they are still there. I imagine they need some attention… but they were built good and sturdy. The other option is well-”
Fergus comes up behind Ezra and hands him a slip of paper with instructions to get to the Island.
“Thank ye, Fergus.” Ezra folds the paper and pockets it. “The other option, well, Pearl will have to want that so deeply in her heart for it to be- and it cannot happen until after the child comes.”
“When will you leave?” Fergus asks.
“As soon as possible, I suppose.”
“when its time, let us pack some food for you, some salted meats- there are no iceboxes there.”
Ezra looks at them with gratitude, that he seems unable to express.
“Cat got your tongue, young man? Ha, a first!” Tilda teases good-naturedly.
“I will miss you.”
“Us too Ezra. Son,” Fergus says as Ezra stands. They hug, and Fergus claps his shoulder. "This is not goodbye, but so long.”
Ezra hugs Tilda, holding tight. She puts her hand on the back of his head, and he lowers his head into her shoulder.
“I have to get back to her.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Tapadh leat (tapah lat) Tilda agus Fergus.”
“Go n-éirí an t-ádh leat (Guh n’ayr’ee an tah leath),” Tilda said lovingly.
to be continued...
Part 5
Gaelic translation:
mo bhuachaill my boy
leath choróin half-crown
Tapadh leat Tilda agus Fergus Thank you Tilda and Fergus
Go n-éirí an t-ádh leat May luck rise to you
Rón Inis Island of Seals
A ghrá love
THANK YOU FOR READING! 💚
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Legend
The man you help one day insists that he owes you everything.
Pairing: Jungkook x F! reader
Rating: 18+
Genre: Selkie! JK, smut, angst
Word count: 10.6k
Warnings: Sex, swearing, knotting
It’s early, but you prefer walking along the beach when there are less people. The sun’s up, barely, there’s a light salty breeze blowing your hair in your face and there’s movement out of the corner of your eye.
Three men fighting over what seems to be – a fur coat?
You don’t want to get involved but two of the men are fully dressed and the other one is naked so it seems unfair that the pair are trying to take the fur coat off him.
‘Hey!’ you shout, before you can talk yourself out of it. ‘Back off!’
You wave your phone. ‘I’m calling the police!’
The two men exchange a look and shove the naked man into the sand. Then they’re off.
You approach the naked man warily. ‘Are you ok?’
He looks up at you, dark hair in his face, almost covering his eyes. He’s slim but there’s bulk to his shoulders and arms, a ridge of muscle along his abs.
He gets up suddenly, overbalances, and you take a step back so he doesn’t fall into you.
The fur coat’s back on his shoulders, you’re glad for him given, judging by his bare legs under the hem of the coat, he’s stark naked otherwise.
‘Thank you,’ he says. ‘For helping me.’
‘Don’t worry,’ you say. You smile and move past him to continue your walk.
He says, ‘I owe you everything.’
His words make you turn back, slightly nervous at the seriousness of his tone.
‘You’ve very welcome,’ you say, ‘I didn’t really do anything.’
You’re a few metres down the beach when you realise he’s trailing behind you.
‘I have to return your kindness,’ he says, when you stop dead and turn around to look him fully in the face.
Shit. What is this guy on?
‘You can return it by living your life,’ you say, nodding encouragingly. ‘Away from me.’
He considers this carefully. ‘Do you feel threatened by me?’ he asks, keeping his distance.
You eyeball him from the top of his mussed hair, to the ridiculous fur coat he’s got on in the middle of summer, to his bare feet, and can honestly say that you don’t.
‘You don’t owe me anything,’ you insist.
‘Can I try to repay you?’ he asks. He pushes his hair away from his face, like seeing more of him will change your mind.
He’s got an interesting face, wide eyes, beautiful skin, a mole under his bottom lip that draws your gaze.
You sigh. ‘Can you do yard work?’
***
Half an hour later your new acquaintance is standing beside you, regarding the mess that was your grandmother’s yard quizzically.
‘I know what you’re thinking,’ you say. ‘This isn’t worth it. You’re free to go, you don’t have to help me with this.’
‘That’s not what I was thinking,’ he says. He looks at you worriedly. ‘How would you have done this alone?’
‘It would have taken me longer without your help,’ you allow.
‘Your hands are small,’ he says, critically, brows furrowed. ‘And your arms —’
‘And you’re wearing a fur coat in summer, there’s no judgement here,’ you interrupt, raising an eyebrow at him.
‘It’s a pelt,’ he tells you, huffy.
‘There’s probably something up in the loft that’ll fit you,’ you say. ‘Stay here. I’ll go up.’
When you get back down to the yard, you’re greeted by the twin mounds of his very firm buttocks.
‘Holy shit. Get some clothes on,’ you say, turning your eyes up hurriedly as he approaches you.
‘I see people on the beach wearing tiny clothes that don’t cover much more than this,’ he tells you.
‘Well you’re not on the beach, you’re in my yard. And in this house we wear clothes,’ you retort.
You shove the bundle of clothes you’ve found into his chest, and turn your back as he gets dressed.
When you look around again, thankfully, he’s decent.
Your grandfather’s clothes are a size too large but it’s probably just as well given your new friend’s penchant for getting naked at the slightest opportunity.
‘Just to be clear,’ you clarify. ‘This isn’t indentured servitude just because I helped you this morning. You can go whenever you want, ok? You don’t owe me a thing.’
‘I owe you everything,’ he says solemnly.
‘Are you even listening,’ you grumble.
You decide you’ve spent enough time arguing with him. He looks strong, and willing, and the yard isn’t going to clear itself.
He works hard, genuinely like he believes he owes you something for scaring those guys off, carrying the weeds you clear out to the bins, seemingly tireless.
By lunchtime you’ve made decent headway. You get up, ignoring the way your knees protest after kneeling in the dirt for so long, and say, ‘come in, let’s take a break.’
‘I don’t need a break,’ he tells you earnestly. ‘I’ll help you finish this.’
You furrow your brow at him. ‘We’re not carrying on unless you eat something —‘
You realise you don’t know his name.
‘Jungkook,’ he supplies helpfully, ‘of the Jeon clan.’
You stare at him. ‘I’m Y/N L/N.’
‘Clanless,’ he murmurs to himself, nodding like that explains things.
You frown. ‘We don’t have clans where I come from,’ you start, and then you close your mouth. Why are you arguing with this dude?
‘Fine, Jungkook, let’s have lunch.’
***
For someone who didn’t want to take a break, Jungkook sure seems hungry.
You watch, bemused, as he wolfs down his sandwich and salad.
‘More?’ you ask, holding out half of your own sandwich.
He accepts, and the sandwich disappears in three quick bites.
When he’s finally satiated, you go back outside and get back to work.
The sun is starting to drop when you turn to him a little awkwardly.
‘Hey, Jungkook. Thanks so much for your help today. It would have taken me ages to do this myself.’
He looks at you seriously. ‘You shouldn’t be doing this yourself.’
‘Yeah well, I’m clanless remember?’ you say, jokingly.
He shakes his head. ‘You need help.’
‘You’re not the first person to tell me that,’ you offer.
Jungkook’s unamused.
‘I’ll help you,’ he says, like that decides it.
You want to keep arguing but you’re tired, and it’s late, and he does good work.
‘I’ll be back in the morning,’ Jungkook says. He’s got redressed in his pelt, placed the folded clothes you loaned him neatly on the porch.
You open your mouth and shut it again, and Jungkook takes this as assent.
‘Wait,’ you say, as he walks away.
He turns back to you, and there’s something about the way his profile looks in the fading light that makes your heart beat a little faster.
He’s beautiful.
‘What do you want for breakfast?’ you ask.
He turns fully to face you, eyes crinkled in a smile. ‘You don’t have to feed me. I’m the one who owes you, remember?’
‘You honestly don’t—‘
You stop talking when you realise he’s too far away to hear you anyway.
***
The next morning, you’re awakened by noises coming from the back garden. You stumble to the window and are greeted by your new friend Jungkook’s shirtless back.
His muscles ripple in the sunlight, and he’s already worked up a sweat somehow.
You lift up the sash window, and he turns at the sound.
His face lights up at the sight of you, and you’d be lying if you said the sight doesn’t make you feel a little giddy.
‘What –’
Your voice comes out as a croak, so you clear your throat and start again.
‘What do you want for breakfast?’
‘Surprise me,’ he says cheerfully.
He turns back to the thatch of brambles he’s hacking through.
‘Hey,’ you call again.
You swipe a hand over your dressing table, grab the sunscreen you apply religiously.
You toss it out the window, at his feet.
‘Put sunscreen on.’
Jungkook picks it up like he’s unaware of the concept of sun protection.
‘Can you show me how to use this?’ he asks.
He’s looking at you quizzically, all bare chest and gleaming skin, and you back away from the window before you say something you’ll live to regret.
You’ve got breakfast in the pan on your grandmother’s old Aga when Jungkook pops his head in the back door.
‘It’s hot today,’ he says.
‘You look hot,’ you agree.
Then you realise what you’ve said.
Thankfully, Jungkook seems to have missed it completely, walking into your kitchen, looking around curiously.
He stops in front of a painting on the wall of a lighthouse by the sea.
‘This looks like it was painted around here,’ he says. ‘I’ve been past this lighthouse.’
‘Would you like the painting?’ you offer.
At his surprised look, you hasten to explain.
‘I live in the city. I came here because I inherited this house from my grandmother after she died.’
You wave a hand. ‘I’ve got to pack up her things, get rid of what I can, and then sell this place.’
‘If you like the painting then please take it,’ you say. ‘It’s got no sentimental value to it.’’
‘I don’t have a lot of things,’ Jungkook replies.
He watches as you serve up two plates, lay the table.
He takes a seat opposite you.
There’s silence for a bit as you both eat, then Jungkook asks, ‘Isn’t there someone who can help you? It seems a big job.’
‘My parents live abroad,’ you tell him. ‘I don’t have any siblings. Just me.’
‘Your mate?’ Jungkook suggests, around a mouthful of eggs.
You nearly choke on your coffee. ‘I don’t have a – mate, at least not in the sense you mean. I have friends, and they’re stopping by in a few weeks.’
You shrug. ‘It’s quite a personal job. I want to make sure my grandmother’s things are handled properly.’
You look out the window. Sitting, like this, you can’t see the sea, but if you were to stand, you could see the ocean from every window of this cottage.
‘I used to spend my summers here, with her,’ you tell Jungkook.
‘I’ve lived here my whole life,’ Jungkook says.
You exchange a smile.
‘I can help you, with anything you want,’ Jungkook tells you earnestly.
You look at him for a long moment. ‘I can pay you.’
Jungkook almost looks offended. ‘I told you I owe you for helping me,’ he insists.
‘You don’t owe me a thing.’
‘I owe you everything,’ he says again, so firmly you don’t have the heart to argue it.
You get up. ‘I need to stop by the store and get more supplies this morning.’
Jungkook says, ‘I can get the brambles cleared today.’
You hesitate, then decide to ask. ‘Do you want anything from the store? Is there anything you like to eat?’
Jungkook’s smile is shy, a contrast from the fact that he’s parading around shirtless.
‘I eat anything,’ he tells you, but you get the sense he appreciates that you asked.
He’s turning to go back into your garden when you stop him.
‘You should put sun protection on,’ you tell him.
You squeeze sunscreen onto your palm, show him how to rub it in.
‘On my back, too?’ Jungkook asks, once he’s covered his face.
You look at him carefully, trying to gauge how serious he is.
‘Yes, on your chest too.’
Your voice comes out unusually high-pitched, and Jungkook gives you a funny look as he rubs suncreen into his chest.
You’re trying not to stare at him, acting like it’s the first time you’ve noticed the glorious sea view outside.
‘Can you help me with my back?’ Jungkook asks.
‘Sure,’ you say, gulping a little.
You dot sunscreen on your palm, start rubbing it into his shoulders. His defined back muscles flex under your hands as you rub more cream in.
Jungkook looks down at the waistband of your grandfather’s shorts thoughtfully, and you toss the sunscreen on the table, grab the keys hurriedly.
‘I’ll get you a hat, too,’ you call as you practically run out the front door.
‘See you later Jungkook!’
***
The line at the store’s longer than you expected, you’re looking around for the shortest queue when you spot him.
‘Y/N!’
‘Namjoon!’
You step into Namjoon’s hug. He’s always been taller than you but in recent years his build has filled out. You can barely get your arms around him now.
‘I heard you were back,’ he says, smiling at you, friendly. Just for a moment, a shadow crosses his face.
‘I’m sorry about your grandma,’ he says.
‘Thank you,’ you reply. You pull your arms down, clasp your hands awkwardly together.
‘I’m clearing out her old things,’ you tell him.
‘Need a hand?’
‘I’ve got someone helping me,’ you say.
Seeing the change in Namjoon’s expression, you hasten to explain.
‘I met him yesterday,’ you say. ‘Some guys were hassling him on the beach. He was grateful so he’s helping me clear out the yard.’
Namjoon frowns. He’s one of your childhood friends, you used to look forward to seeing him in the summer.
‘Is he an ok guy?’
‘He seems perfectly nice,’ you say. ‘He doesnt seem like a creep or anything.’
‘Well, you can always call me if you need anything, ok? Maybe we can grab dinner one of these days.’
‘I’d like that,’ you say.
Namjoon dimples at you. ‘Maybe this weekend?’
‘Sure,’ you agree.
You pay for your things, load up your car and, on impulse, pick up ice cream for you and Jungkook on the way back.
You’re holding your cups of ice-cream carefully, walking around the side of the house to the back, when you hear voices.
You feel a twinge of alarm as you round the corner to see Jungkook and another man you don’t know having what seems to be a heated conversation.
‘Jungkook?’ you call.
The man you don’t know turns and gives you a long look.
It doesn’t seem friendly.
You’re suddenly aware that you don’t know Jungkook well, you don’t know this man at all, and your nearest neighbour is over a mile away.
Jungkook steps forward, like he senses your apprehension. ‘This is Jimin,’ he tells you. ‘He’s part of my clan.’
Jimin gives you another searching look, but he eventually says, ‘Hi.’
Alarm bells are going off in your head.
You take a step back.
‘My friend Namjoon’s coming over,’ you tell Jungkook and Jimin.
It’s a complete lie, but it’s all you have.
Jungkook says, very gently, ‘Jimin’s leaving. He just came to see where I was.’
You take another step back, ice-cream forgotten.
‘Sure,’ you say. You’re trying your best to sound normal, past the rising panic.
You turn and head back to your car.
It’s only after the car door is closed behind you that you finally feel like you can draw a breath.
The rapping on the window makes you scream.
It takes you a moment to realise it’s Jungkook, another moment to notice that he’s chosen the passenger seat window to knock on even though you’re in the driver’s seat.
Like he wanted to give you distance.
You lower the window.
‘I didn’t mean to scare you,’ he starts, and he sounds so genuinely upset about it that it goes a long way towards assuaging your fears.
‘No, I —‘
You sigh and give up on protesting when you realise it was pretty obvious you were uneasy.
‘It’s ok, Jungkook.’
He says, hesitantly, ‘I want to stay and help you, but if me being here is making you uncomfortable, I’ll go.’
You don’t know how to make this decision now that the ball’s in your court.
So you postpone it, like you’ve done with so many other decisions in your life.
You unlock the car doors.
‘Do you want ice cream?’
***
Jungkook, it turns out, likes ice cream quite a lot. Somehow, you’re not surprised.
He’s scraping the sides of the cup like he wants to get every single lump, so you pass him your half-eaten ice cream.
He accepts immediately, wide-eyed and so thrilled that it amuses you.
It’s hard to imagine him ever hurting anyone.
‘What’s your favourite flavour?’ you ask.
‘All of them,’ he replies, chocolate smeared at the corner of his mouth.
You laugh.
‘I’m sorry about Jimin,’ Jungkook says.
He’s not looking at you now, swirling his tiny neon spoon in his cup.
‘He’s scary when he’s angry, even though he’s so small.’
He hadn’t seemed small to you, although you guess Jungkook’s bigger.
‘What’s he mad about?’ you ask.
‘He doesn’t trust people,’ Jungkook answers. He glances at you. ‘He thought maybe you were forcing me to help you.’
You snort. ‘How?’
Jungkook doesn’t answer for a moment.
‘Your grandfather,’ he says, changing the subject. ‘There aren’t many photos of him.’
‘He left my grandmother,’ you say.
In all honesty, you don’t know much more than that. It had all happened when you were very young, your mother hadn’t told you anything about it, and your grandmother had always refused to discuss it.
Jungkook reaches out, fiddles with the dial on the car radio.
‘We should bring the groceries in,’ you say, remembering.
‘I’ll carry them,’ Jungkook insists.
He looks affronted when you try to take a bag off him.
‘I’m much stronger than you,’ he says, huffy.
‘Fine. Carry it all then. Can you make lunch too?’
***
You end up fixing lunch for you and Jungkook with leftovers and deli meat. You sit on the swing on your grandmother’s porch as you eat.
It’s a hot day, you’re grateful for the light breeze even though it’s barely making the leaves rustle.
Jungkook glances at you as he takes a swig of water, and you hold his gaze.
‘I’ve got some guys coming to collect the clippings and yard trash next week,’ you say. ‘Think we’ll be done by then?’
Jungkook nods, earnestly. ‘We should be.’
‘Do you have another job or something? Don’t feel obliged to stay, like I said you’ve helped me so much already.’
Jungkook says, firmly, ‘I owe you a debt, please let me pay it.’
You search his face. ‘How will I know when the debt is paid?’
‘I’ll know,’ Jungkook says. He seems unconcerned, sure of himself. ‘I’ll know, and I’ll take my leave then.’
‘What if I get sick of you before then?’ you ask, teasing.
‘Unlikely,’ Jungkook says, confident. ‘I’m well-liked.’
You frown a little as you mull this over, only to catch him watching you, a spark of mischief in his eye.
‘Are you fucking with me?’
Jungkook blinks. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’
He’s all round-eyed innocence as you look at him suspiciously.
Finally you get up. ‘Come on, we’d better carry on, then.’
***
You’re up in the loft, trying not to feel overwhelmed at the sheer amount of things around you.
The trappings of a lifetime.
You pick up the item closest to you, a small wooden box with a mother of pearl inlay on the lid.
Inside, there’s a pretty champagne pearl set on a thin gold chain.
You smooth the pad of your thumb over the pearl, admiring the way it gleams even in the gloom of the loft. You put the necklace around your neck, set the box aside, and reach for the next thing.
In the next few hours, you sort old clothes, separate items into charity and junk piles and start bringing things down.
You’re three steps from the bottom of the folding ladder when you lose your balance.
You don’t have time to make any sound when you’re steadied by strong arms.
‘Easy, I’ve got you,’ says Jungkook.
He helps you down the last few steps, takes the armful of clothes off you.
‘Thanks,’ you say, gratefully.
‘I’ll bring things down,’ Jungkook says. ‘Is there a lot up there?’
‘We can take turns,’ you say. ‘There’s a lot.’
Jungkook mutters something about human materialism which you don’t quite understand but you’re distracted by the way he looks.
His neck is stretched, the line of his jaw sharp as he peers up the steps. His profile is beautiful.
He looks back at you, catches you staring at him.
‘I did tell you, didn’t I, that I was well-liked?’ he says, a twinkle in his eye.
He’s definitely fucking with you.
You say, casual, ‘you did mention that.’
Your eyes meet.
Then his gaze drops to the pearl necklace you have on.
‘Was that your grandmother’s?’ he asks.
He reaches out, hesitates, then, when you nod, lifts the pendant gently.
‘It’s a natural pearl,’ he says, something like awe in his voice. ‘These are very rare.’
‘My grandmother loved the sea,’ you say, your voice dropped to a whisper, you’re not sure why.
Jungkook looks down at you. Like this, he’s so close you can see a tiny beauty mark on his lower lip, a small scar on his cheek.
Imperfections that only make him seem more perfect.
He’s not touching you at all, but you can feel the warmth he radiates.
For the first time, you notice he smells faintly like the sea.
You like it.
Jungkook’s gaze is so intense you have to look away.
He lets go of your necklace, and takes a step back.
You try not to feel disappointed.
‘I need to go,’ Jungkook says. ‘I’ll be back tomorrow.’
‘Sure,’ you say, too quickly, with a nervousness you can’t explain.
He turns, descends the stairs.
You push the fold up ladder to the loft up, re-fasten the catch, trying to calm your fluttering heart.
‘Hey,’ Jungkook says.
He’s climbed back up, is holding out his pelt to you.
‘Can you keep this for me until tomorrow?’
‘Sure,’ you say, lifting your arms out for it.
It’s heavier than you expected.
‘I’ll keep it somewhere safe,’ you reassure him.
Jungkook says, ‘I know you will.’
He smiles at you, and jogs back downstairs. He stops at the foot of the stairs, waves, and then he’s off.
***
You’re not sure what to do with Jungkook’s pelt when you go to bed but you know it’s important to him, so you end up laying it at the foot of your bed.
It’s hot and sticky tonight, the air ruffling the thin gauzy curtains isn’t providing any respite.
There’s a knot, low down in your groin, a neediness between your legs.
Unbidden, Jungkook’s face floats into your head.
His pretty eyes. The way his jaw clenches whenever he catches you doing something that he thinks should be his job.
The feel of his arms caging you in when he stopped you from falling down the steps earlier.
You look down at your body. Your nipples are hard, pressing against the gossamer thin cotton of your sleep tank. You run a hand over your breasts, pinch restlessly at a nipple.
Your moan sounds obscene in the quiet of your room.
Your cunt tightens, and you slide a hand between your legs for relief.
The pads of your fingers press against your swollen bud, and you moan again.
Jungkook’s naked back, muscles glistening with sweat.
The feel of his bare, sun-warmed skin under your fingers.
You’re breathing faster now, bucking your hips into your own hand as you press two fingers into your warmth.
You imagine Jungkook’s hands inside you instead of your own.
His smirk when he told you he was ‘well-liked’.
You don’t doubt it.
Your need builds as you touch yourself, legs splayed, toes pointed.
Your foot touches Jungkook’s pelt, and you sit up, breasts heaving, nipples pointed, hard.
You reach down for Jungkook’s pelt, bring it up to your face, and inhale.
It smells like him.
You pull it to your chest as you finger yourself, and the friction of it on your sensitive nipples tips you over the edge.
You come with a whine, a gasp, gushing stickiness between your thighs, thinking of Jungkook.
***
You wake up late the next morning, the sun’s high in the sky by the time you get out of bed.
You look out the window and see Jungkook’s now familiar back in a corner of the garden.
‘Morning!’ you call before you remember exactly what you did with Jungkook’s pelt last night.
You don’t wait for a reply, leaning back from the window quickly.
Thankfully you hadn’t got any cum on his pelt.
Shit. What got into you?
You groan inwardly as you traipse to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
You run lightly down the stairs, only to skid to a stop when you see Jungkook lifting his pelt from where you put it on the couch before you went to sleep.
He’s been sniffing it.
You blink, straighten your back, and say, brightly, ‘What do you want for breakfast, Jungkook?’
You do, after all, come from a long line of women who’ve made a lifetime about not talking about things they don’t wish to talk about.
Jungkook looks at you, a little sweaty, dazed. His pupils are huge, his eyes dark.
‘Anything,’ he says. His voice has dropped to a timbre you haven’t heard before from him, low, almost a rasp.
‘Sure,’ you say, turning smartly to the kitchen.
It’s a good twenty minutes before Jungkook joins you in the kitchen.
He looks flushed, damp like he’s been splashing water on his face, but he looks more like his usual self.
You put a plate of pancakes in front of him. Your hand brushes his accidentally, and he moves his hand back like he’s been scalded.
‘Shit, sorry,’ you say, flustered by his reaction.
Unsure what else to do, you take a seat opposite him, and start eating.
After a moment, he starts eating too.
You give yourself a moment so that your voice won’t betray you and then say, ‘I’m going to be clearing out the loft again today.’
Jungkook takes a moment to reply.
‘I can help bring things down.’
‘Great. Thank you.’
You push the remaining pancakes towards him.
Jungkook clears his throat.
‘Have you, uh, done something to your hair? You look pretty.’
‘Nothing special,’ you answer.
You flick your gaze his way.
‘I’m well-liked too.’
Jungkook nearly chokes on the mouthful of pancakes he’s chewing.
He gulps down water, eyes watering.
You smile at him as you clear away your plate.
***
Jungkook grunts as he sets a box down next to you.
You’re trying hard not to notice exactly how he’s worked up a light sweat, just enough to make his skin glow and his t-shirt stick to his torso.
Jungkook lifts his arms over his head, stretches. The hem of his t-shirt lifts two inches above the waist of his jeans.
You fight the sudden urge to bite his taut skin.
Jungkook rakes a hand through his damp hair. It’s wavier today, curling around his face prettily.
You’re struck by the duality of his pretty face and his distinctly masculine body.
To hide the warmth in your cheeks, you look down into the box he’s just brought down.
There’s a stack of letters, shoved haphazardly into torn envelopes.
You pick one up and begin to read.
Dearest,
I thought of you today. When Ara gets mad, she furrows her brows and tilts her head, and she looks exactly like you.
I know we chose this life, but it doesn’t make it any less hard.
All my love, always,
Dasom
You wonder why the letter’s with your grandmother and not your grandfather, if he ever got to see it.
You pick up the next.
Dearest heart,
Your uncle stopped by today, and as you can probably guess, he didn’t have any pleasantries to share.
One day I’ll be kinder, but today is not that day.
I shooed him off with the driftwood you salvaged from the cove.
You would have been proud of me.
Look after yourself, my love, I cannot wait for when you come back to me.
All my love, always,
Dasom
You smile to yourself, amused. Your grandmother was dainty, with the petite stature of many women of her generation, and yet somehow it isn’t a stretch to imagine her shooing off a man twice her size.
Beneath the letter is a photograph, a faded black and white, of your grandparents. You smile fondly at it, at the way your grandmother’s smiling brightly at your stoic-looking grandfather.
You notice something just in the frame that gives you a jolt of recognition. At their feet, what you thought initially was a rug looks on closer inspection to be a fur skin of sorts.
It reminds you, oddly, of Jungkook’s pelt.
A shadow falls over you.
‘Are those your grandparents?’
You look up, startled, and the photograph slips from your hand.
Jungkook leans down to pick it up, looks at the photo. He blinks, frowns a little.
‘They’re my grandparents,’ you tell him.
Jungkook asks, with a new note in his voice, ‘Why is there a pelt in this photograph?’
You have no idea.
‘Was one of your grandparents a selkie?’
You blink, totally confused.
‘What’s a selkie?’
Jungkook’s examining the photo closely. ‘It looks like the pelt’s your grandfather’s size.’
‘Rewind,’ you demand. ‘What’s a selkie?’
Jungkook looks at you like he’s debating something in his head.
Finally, he says, ‘I can show you. We’ll have to walk down to the sea.’
***
It’s a glorious late summer day, you can feel your confusion and curiosity lifting as you and Jungkook walk down your grandmother’s path to the beach.
He’s got his pelt with him, slung carelessly over his shoulder.
His steps are lighter the closer you get to the sea, it’s like he feels as unburdened as you.
When you get to the water’s edge he stops, turns to you.
‘Will you wait for me?’ he asks. ‘I’m about to show you a lot, I’m worried about how you might react, so will you wait here until I come back to you?’
He’s so serious about it, you can’t protest.
‘Where are you going?’ you ask.
‘I won’t be far,’ Jungkook says. ‘But I promise, I’ll come back to you.’
He’s already slipping off his clothes, barenaked in the sun, and you avert your eyes hastily.
‘When you said you had a lot to show me—-‘ you start.
Jungkook turns his head. He smiles, more than a hint of mischief in his gaze.
‘Wait for me.’
He slips his pelt over his shoulders, and dives into the water.
He’s a strong swimmer, a few hundred yards out already.
There’s a strange tingling in your stomach, a fizzing in your veins.
You wonder if you’re about to be profoundly changed.
You can barely see him now.
Hold it.
You can’t see him at all.
Shit!
Is he caught in the current?
You take a few frantic steps out into the surf, panicked, unmindful that your entire bottom half is wet.
‘Jungkook?’
Your first shout is weak, barely carrying, lost in the crash of the surf.
You try again.
‘Jungkook?’
You take another few steps out, you’re deep enough to swim but you can’t see anything in the sea.
Your eyes sting with salt and the sun as you surface.
‘Jungkook!’
There’s a dark shape in the water, a ripple through the waves, and you scream as the shape brushes past you.
It turns, heads straight to you, and you dive into the water to swim away from it.
It follows, and every shark story you’ve ever been told jumps into your head.
You’re not as good a swimmer as Jungkook, but you did spend a lot of summers at the seaside growing up.
You head back to shore, kicking strongly, and by the time you’re knee deep you’re exhausted from the adrenaline.
You realise the creature’s followed you to the shore.
It’s not a shark at all.
It’s a seal.
It stays half submerged.
It looks like it’s looking straight at you.
Like it’s waiting for you.
Jungkook’s parting words pop into your head.
Wait for me.
You take a step closer. The seal stays where it is, facing you.
There’s something familiar about the tilt of its head.
The world rocks on its axis, and you?
You slip down into the sand in a dead faint.
***
You wake to sunlight that’s too bright, and Jungkook leaning over you.
His expression’s panicked, his eyes wide and worried.
You wince a little, raise your hand over your head to block out the light.
Jungkook’s saying your name, so you squint up at him.
‘Jungkook?’
‘Are you ok?’ His words come out rushed, urgent.
‘What happened?’
It comes back to you in a flash.
You groan and try to sit up.
Jungkook helps support you, hand flat against the small of your back.
‘Where did you go?’ you ask, a dumb question because you’re not sure if you’re ready to ask the question you really want to ask.
Jungkook says, ‘I went into the ocean, then I—-‘
He breaks off, then says, ‘Then I came back to you.’
‘There was a seal,’ you say carefully.
Jungkook just waits.
‘Jungkook, what’s a selkie?’
Jungkook smiles at you, gentle.
‘I just showed you.’
***
You’re looking out of the window of your house as Jungkook makes you tea. He’s been hovering around you like a worried mother hen since the beach, no matter how much you reassure him you’re ok.
His pelt lies beside you on the couch, thrown carelessly next to you as he rushed to fix you a drink when you got back.
You reach out gingerly and run a hand over it.
It’s warm, sleek, the short fibres bristling under your palm when you brush the wrong way.
How had you not recognised it as sealskin before?
Jungkook comes back, carefully holding a mug. He sees you touching his pelt, and you pull your hand away.
‘I don’t mind, if you touch it,’ he assures you.
You say, ‘I like how it feels.’
You sip the tea Jungkook’s just given you.
‘Tell me about selkies,’ you say.
Jungkook sits next to you on the couch. ‘I have a clan. Jimin, whom you met the other day, is part of it.’
‘We mostly live close to the sea. We can take either form—‘
At your expression, he clarifies, ‘I can be seal, or human.’
‘And the pelt?’
‘It’s part of my seal form,’ Jungkook tells you.
You have more to ask about his pelt, but Jungkook changes the subject.
‘Your grandfather was selkie,’ he says.
‘Is that common?’ you ask. ‘That selkies marry humans?’
‘It’s not unheard of,’ Jungkook says. ‘Some clans frown upon it.’
‘My grandfather left my grandmother,’ you tell him.
‘I’m sorry.’
You shrug. ‘I don’t know much. My grandmother didn’t talk about it.’
You turn to him.
‘I found all these letters she wrote him, I don’t know if he ever got to see them.’
Jungkook’s thoughtful. ‘I can ask around, if you want.’
He gets up. ‘I should go. Jimin wanted my help tonight.’
He gives you a careful look. ‘Will you be all right?’
‘No wonder Jimin’s a selkie,’ you say. ‘I bet his bark is worse than his bite.’
Jungkook gives you an exasperated look.
You’re on a roll. ‘Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone. My lips are sealed.’
Jungkook tosses his pelt at you. ‘Shut up.’
You struggle to extricate yourself from under his pelt. ‘Don’t you need this?’
‘Nah,’ Jungkook says, casual. ‘Besides —’
His voice drops low as he tilts his chin at you.
‘I like the way it smells when you look after it for me.’
Now you’re the one stammering and heating up.
Jungkook smirks at you and lets himself out.
***
Jungkook loads the last of the boxes into the back of your car and shuts the trunk.
He’s stepping back from the car when you ask, ‘Hey, you want to come with?’
Jungkook considers this.
‘We can get ice cream,’ you offer. ‘You’ll have to put a shirt on, though.’
Jungkook’s already pulling his t-shirt over his head and sliding into the passenger seat.
‘You’ll need someone to help you unload this stuff at the charity shop,’ he reasons.
‘Chocolate or vanilla?’ you ask.
‘Both?’ suggests Jungkook hopefully.
You smile affectionately at him. ‘Anything you want, doll.’
Jungkook pouts. ‘It sounds like you’re making fun of me,’ he complains.
‘Don’t be seal-y,’ you say.
Jungkook groans. ‘I don’t know if ice-cream is worth this.’
You chuckle softly to yourself as you pull out of your drive onto the road into town.
***
Jungkook waits patiently on the kerb outside as you speak to the owner of the charity shop.
When you’re done you smile up at him.
‘Ice-cream?’
‘Sure,’ he agrees amiably.
He doesn’t say much until you’re back in the car, ice-creams in hand.
‘Are you ok?’ he asks.
You glance at him but he’s not looking at you, licking up the rivulet of cream that’s trickled down the side of his cone.
‘Yeah,’ you say.
‘Your grandmother was more than what she left behind,’ Jungkook says.
He’s still not looking at you.
‘She was.’
Unexpectedly, your voice cracks, you clear your throat abruptly in an attempt to hide it.
He’s looking at you now, when you’re trying to look away, to discreetly wipe the tears pricking your eyelids.
Jungkook reaches out, and, without comment, thumbs the tears off your cheeks.
You finish your ice creams in silence.
When you pull onto your drive and kill the engine, Jungkook turns to you.
‘Tell me another seal joke.’
‘What type of music do you like?’ you ask. ‘Club hits?’
Jungkook laughs.
He looks so pretty like this, dark hair wavy and tousled, golden skin gleaming, that you lean forward and kiss him.
His laughter stops, and you aren’t given time to fret about whether that’s a bad thing because he’s nudging closer, seeking your lips as you pull away.
There’s a sigh, and you couldn’t say if it’s from you or him, don’t care anyway, because he’s kissing you back, and it’s good.
He tastes like chocolate, and salt, his lips firm, his tongue teasing at the seam of your lips until you part them for him.
He licks into your mouth with a sweet urgency that makes you squeeze your thighs together.
His hand’s stroking the exposed skin of your back where your t-shirt’s ridden up, and his skin warms you more than the sun.
‘Jungkook,’ you murmur, as he presses kisses down the column of your throat, ‘wanna go upstairs?’
‘Yeah,’ he says. He pulls away, eyes dark, lips pink. ‘Yeah.’
***
You’re on your bed, half-undressed because Jungkook’s taking his time kissing along your breasts.
He’s shirtless, his beautiful chest toned and golden, flat nipples pebbling under your hand.
You brush a hand over the front of his jeans, thrilled by his hardness.
He groans, tugs at your shorts, lifts your hips up like you weren’t going to do it for him anyway.
He stares at the scrap of pink lace between your legs, so rapt you’re shy until he presses an open mouthed kiss to your folds.
The whine that falls involuntarily from your lips surprises you with its neediness.
Jungkook doesn’t seem to mind.
He tugs your panties half down your thighs, spreads you apart, and kisses you again.
His tongue slides between your folds, wet, insistent.
You’re throbbing, sensitive, as he licks you again and again.
He moans as you get wetter, slicker.
‘Swollen,’ he pants against your cunt. ‘Need me to lick you.’
You’re beyond words, bucking your hips so you can get more of the delicious pressure of his tongue where you need it.
‘Inside,’ you moan. ‘Need you.’
‘Yeah,’ Jungkook agrees.
He shoves his jeans down, draws out his cock.
Your mouth waters. He’s pretty. Thick, precum glistening on his head.
Jungkook strokes his cock between your folds, making himself even wetter, and you cry out at the feel of his cock head against your clit.
‘Shit. Do that again.’
He nudges himself against your clit, rubbing precum against you. ‘Like that?’
‘Yeah,’ you gasp.
Jungkook swears softly. ‘I need to be inside.’
You still as he pushes in, the hard blunt head of him stretching you as he slides in. He thrusts shallow, slow, and you’re wound so tight you could scream when he groans, deep in his chest, and fills you all the way.
He rocks his hips against yours, the head of him nudging at your front wall. You’re wrapped around him somehow, you don’t remember doing it but you thighs are around his hips, ankles crossed, holding him tight to you as he thrusts.
Jungkook groans, reaches out to grab your breasts as he makes them bounce with every lunge of his hips.
He’s so fucking strong. You knew that, you’ve seen him carry things, but you’d never put it together that he would be strong like this too, his body moving against yours like he was made to fuck you.
He slows, panting, canting his hips, changing his angle, grabbing at your thigh when your ankles unlock.
‘That’s it,’ he grunts. ‘That’s it, fuck me back.’
He throws his head back as you lift your hips to meet his, sweat gleaming on his throat.
‘Jungkook!’
‘Take it,’ he moans.
You cry his name repeatedly as you come, a pulse of pleasure so intense you lose track of everything that isn’t Jungkook and his cock inside you.
Jungkook’s grinding against you, filling you up, mouthing at your neck, when he cries out and pulls out abruptly.
You moan in protest, and he kisses you, deep, long. You can feel his heart pounding against you.
‘Tried to knot,’ he mumbles. ‘Sorry.’
You have no idea what he’s talking about but you’re enjoying the feel of him holding you too much to care.
You’ll ask later.
***
Jungkook, it turns out, is beautiful when he sleeps.
He’s splayed beside you, face down in your bed, the sheet loose over his hips.
His face is slack with sleep, brow unfurrowed, lips parted in an ‘o’ that makes him look surprised.
He’s adorable, and the warmth in your chest as you watch him sleep surprises you.
You turn over, face the open window.
A moment later, Jungkook’s moving, curling himself around you, his chest pressed to your back.
‘Can’t sleep?’ he murmurs, his husky voice against your ear making you shiver.
‘I’m trying,’ you tell him.
You can feel him, hard, as he curls his body around yours.
‘Let me help,’ he says.
He reaches round to touch your naked breasts, arches your back, slides his cock between the cleft of your ass, entering you shallowly until you’re gasping and moaning.
Then he fucks you again, and it’s even better than the first time.
***
You’re trying not to stare at Jungkook as you have breakfast together, but it’s hard when you can still feel the imprints of his hands on your body.
Your only consolation is that Jungkook seems to be struggling as much as you are.
His eyes flit between your neck, where he left a hickey close to your ear, skim over your breasts, and eventually his gaze lands on your face.
When he sees your smile he returns it, endearingly shy.
‘I had a good time last night,’ you say.
‘Me too,’ he replies.
You’re still smiling at each other like idiots.
There’s a knock on the door, and you look up, surprised.
You open the door to an unfriendly expression on a fiercely pretty face.
Jimin lifts a brow at you. ‘Is Jungkook here?’
Jungkook’s up. ‘Jimin?’
‘We have to go. Taehyung’s hurt.’ Jimin throws you a look that makes you step back.
He’s furious, and his next words hit you like a slap. ‘Fucking humans.’
You’re not given a chance to react, as Jimin’s already turning away. Jungkook throws you an apologetic look, but he doesn’t say anything.
Then they’re gone.
***
You’re nervous, waiting by your front door like it’s the first date you’ve ever had, and it’s not even a date.
Namjoon’s picking you up and you’re going into town for dinner.
You haven’t seen Jungkook since he left with Jimin. Granted, it’s only been a couple of days, but you’ve got used to having him around.
For the thousandth time, you wonder what he’s doing. You hope he’s ok.
There’s the flash of headlights in your front window, you’re opening the door before you realise you’re moving.
Namjoon pulls to a stop, gets out, and you have a flash of realisation.
He’s dressed up for this - shoulders and chest broad and strong against a crisp blue shirt, slacks that hug his ass and make his legs look even thicker.
‘Hey,’ you say, feeling suddenly shy.
This feels different from the Namjoon who used to collect shells and catch crabs with you when you were kids. You know he’s different now, but you’re still getting used to it.
He walks over to open your door for you.
‘Hey,’ he says. He smiles, and the flash of dimples makes you feel more at ease.
‘Hey,’ you say again.
‘Hey,’ he replies. ‘You look really pretty.’
You put your hand over your grandmother’s pearl, hanging in your decolletage.
‘Thanks,’ you say. ‘You look good too.’
You slide into the passenger seat, look up just in time to catch the way Namjoon’s gaze drops to how your skirt’s ridden up your thighs.
There’s a beat of nothing, then you hastily pull your skirt down, and Namjoon straightens up to close your door.
At the restaurant, Namjoon leans back in his chair across from you. His arm’s slung casually over the back of the chair next to him – you’ve never seen his shoulders look so broad.
‘How are you getting on with clearing out your grandmother’s house?’ he asks.
‘We’re doing well,’ you tell him. You take a sip of your wine. ‘The loft’s almost empty, that was the biggest task, and the garden looks pretty good now.’
You see the way his brow rises slightly at the ‘we’.
‘Remember that guy I told you about in the store? Jungkook? He’s been helping me.’
‘I’m glad you have help,’ Namjoon says. ‘If you need any extra hands, I’ve got time next week.’
‘I think we’ll be ok, but thanks,’ you tell him.
‘Are you staying?’ Namjoon asks. ‘After you finish clearing out the house?’
He shifts a little, and his thigh brushes yours under the table.
You try to ignore the rush of heat through you at the unexpected touch.
‘I might stay for a bit,’ you say.
You’d love to say you’re going back to where you were living, but the honest truth is, you feel untethered.
Your friends in the city were great, your little apartment is your sanctuary, and your job was ok, but since being back you’ve felt a distance between you and your old life.
You’ve never felt so strongly that there’s more out here for you.
Namjoon tilts his head. ‘It’d be great to see more of you. My mum’s always asking after you.’
You laugh. ‘I miss her a lot too.’
‘She thinks you and I would be perfect together, she was more excited than me about our date.’
You roll your eyes. ‘Surely she knows, Namjoon, that you don’t really date.’
Namjoon pretends to be hurt, but the twinkle in his eyes gives him away. ‘We’re in a nice restaurant, I wore a nice shirt, how can you say this isn’t a date?’
You pretend to be thinking.
‘Is this table too small, do you think? Because your thigh keeps brushing against mine, and —’
Namjoon laughs, sips his wine. ‘I also like that pearl you’ve got on that’s hanging between your tits. Like I needed more reasons to look there.’
You laugh. ‘It’s my grandmother’s!’
‘That ivory colour suits your skin tone,’ Namjoon says. He dimples at you.
‘Shut up,’ you grumble. ‘Eat your food.’
‘Load up on carbs, baby,’ Namjoon suggests. ‘We’re going to burn them off later.’
You ignore him.
***
Namjoon pulls up outside your house, gets out to open your door for you.
He looks at you hopefully. ‘Are you gonna invite me in?’
You laugh. ‘No. I’m fine with being the only woman in town you haven’t fucked.’
Namjoon laughs, cups your arm as he walks you back up to your front door.
There’s movement in the shadows, and you realise Jungkook’s been waiting on your front porch.
He steps forward, eyes you and Namjoon.
Beside you, Namjoon stiffens, turns towards you.
‘Hey, Jungkook,’ you say. ‘This is Namjoon. Namjoon, Jungkook.’
Jungkook nods at Namjoon.
Namjoon turns more, putting himself between you and Jungkook.
‘I can probably take him,’ Namjoon tells you, in a stage whisper. ‘If you want me to get rid of him.’
You roll your eyes. ‘No one’s getting rid of anyone. Thanks for dinner, Namjoon.’
Namjoon gives Jungkook a long look, then leans down deliberately to kiss you on the cheek.
‘Call me later,’ he says.
You wait until he’s got back in his car and driven off before turning to Jungkook.
‘Hey,’ you say. ‘How’s your friend?’
‘Taehyung? He’s ok. He was hurt but the clan’s looking after him. He’ll be fine,’ Jungkook tells you.
‘What happened?’
‘Some guys out in a fishing boat thought it’d be funny to try to catch him,’ Jungkook says. His eyes are serious. ‘There are some pretty cruel people out there.’
‘I’m sorry,’ you tell him.
You reach out to touch his arm, and he pulls back like he doesn’t want you to touch him.
You drop your hand, stung.
‘Is there much left to do? Have you made progress since I Ieft?’ Jungkook asks.
There’s a distance to his voice now, a coolness you’ve never felt from him before.
‘Yeah,’ you lie. ‘I’m almost done, actually.’
‘That’s great,’ Jungkook says. He’s barely looking at you.
‘Yeah.’
‘You probably don’t need my help anymore,’ Jungkook says.
You’re too upset to hide it, so you’re glad for the darkness around you.
‘Thank you,’ you say. ‘Thanks for helping me.’
Jungkook doesn’t say anything.
You fumble through your bag, looking for your keys, trying hard to see through the sheen of tears suddenly in your eyes.
‘Here,’ Jungkook says finally. He reaches into your bag, plucks out the keys, unlocks your front door.
‘Yeah, thanks,’ you say.
You risk a glance up at his face.
‘Are you — are you going?’
‘Yeah,’ he says. There’s something like regret in his eyes, but maybe you’re over-reading his expression.
‘Ok. Thank you.’
You step into your house, and very slowly, close the door behind you.
You tell yourself it’s probably for the best.
***
You have no idea why you keep coming back to this spot on the beach, apart from it was the spot Jungkook picked to profoundly change your world view.
It’s usually deserted, but today the usual serenity of the vista is marred by shouting.
You approach, and to your horror, there’s a seal on the shore, and a couple of guys standing over it.
You rush forward. ‘Hey!’
You have the oddest feeling of deja vu. It’s not the same, not the same at all, but this reminds you of the first time you met Jungkook.
You see the swing of a piece of driftwood, and you jump forward.
At the last moment, the guy who had been about to hit the seal manages to swing away so he doesn’t hit you.
You ignore him.
‘Get back in the water,’ you say.
The seal looks at you, watching, waiting.
‘Fucking go,’ you plead. ‘Please, just go.’
You think it’s Jungkook but you really have no idea, you’ve only seen him in seal form once.
You wait until he moves, before turning back to the guys.
‘Why would you even do that?’ you ask, angrily. ‘It’s a seal!’
The guy scoffs. ‘What’s it to you, bitch?’
You clench your jaw. ‘You’d better walk away, asshole.’
The two guys stare at you, but you’re too angry to care.
‘Hey!’ comes another voice.
You all turn to see Jimin approaching.
Fuck. Just what you need. Another angry man who hates you.
You turn back and realise the seal’s gone.
‘Come on,’ Jimin says. To your astonishment, he steps between you and the men. ‘Come on, Y/N, let’s go back home.’
You’re so surprised that you allow him to lead you away from the men.
Eventually you look at him. ‘We don’t even have the same home.’
‘Yeah, I’m aware of that,’ Jimin says, dry.
‘Guess you saw those assholes.’
‘Jungkook should know better.’
You try to ignore the flare of hope in your chest at the acknowledgement that it was Jungkook on the beach.
‘I guess you think he should know better about a lot of things,’ you say, spiky.
Jimin hums. ‘You didn’t hurt him but there are a lot of cruel humans out there.’
You’ve reached your door. ‘Yeah.’
You turn to Jimin. ‘I hope he’s ok,’ you say. ‘Look after yourself, Jimin.’
You don’t think there’s anything left to say.
***
You fall into a routine of sorts as the days click into place.
Jungkook had been right, the garden didn’t need any more work after he left.
The loft’s empty now, apart from a box of letters, some of which you’re waiting to have the emotional headspace to read.
After the loft, emptying the rooms is easy. The house still has its memories, but you no longer feel laden with the past.
It’s a week after you saw Jungkook on the beach that you wake to find his pelt on the step up to your kitchen door.
You pick it up carefully, look around like Jungkook might still be around even though your instincts tell you that you’re alone.
You place it on the couch, wonder what the hell you’re supposed to do with it, why he would even leave it with you considering he doesn’t want to see you.
You remember the picture of your grandparents and your grandfather’s pelt, and re-open the last box from the loft.
Letter after letter, tiny fine trinkets, a lock of your mother’s hair tied with a ribbon.
Another picture, this time of you, on your grandfather’s lap.
You don’t remember much about him apart from that he’d been kind, and that he’d seemed to love your grandmother. They’d seemed to have loved each other.
You unfold another letter. The paper’s crisper than the others, like it’s been wet and dried.
Dearest,
I don’t have any regrets about the life we chose. I’ll always cherish our time together, short though it was.
Today is hard. I’m angry, and I’m upset, and I miss you so very much.
I wish you’d chosen me instead of your clan.
I wish I’d told you what I wanted before you left.
I hate that we are apart, and today, I almost hate you.
I don’t mean that. Maybe I do.
Most of all, I wish I could tell you, my love, that even on days like this, it was worth all our while.
It was worth it.
All my love, always
Dasom
Tear prick your eyelids, and you blink them back hurriedly, but not quickly enough. A fat teardrop lands in the middle of the letter, and you realise now why the paper is crisper than the others, why the ink in some spots is smeared.
Your grandmother was crying when she wrote it.
You’re re-folding the letter, about to close the box, when you spot another letter at the very bottom.
It’s written on different paper, and when you unfold it, in different handwriting.
Dasom,
You know I’m not one for writing, you always wrote so much more beautifully than I did. Did you get the pearl? I found it last year, and it’s always reminded me of you.
I want to ask how Ara is but I see her sometimes by the shore, with Y/N, and they’re perfect.
Loving you was the best thing I ever did, and I think that every day.
All my love, always
Dal
You’re crying so hard you can barely breathe.
The knock on your kitchen door startles you. You wipe your tears away hastily, and open the door.
It’s Jungkook.
He’s wet, and it takes you longer than it should to notice that it’s raining.
Jungkook leans down so his face is closer to yours. His eyes are worried. ‘Are you ok?’
‘I’m fine,’ you tell him. ‘I was reading old letters.’
‘Thank you for helping me,’ he starts, ‘that day on the beach.’
‘Which one?’ you joke, tearily.
Jungkook smiles. ‘You’re always saving me,’ he agrees.
He steps closer, and you realise he’s trying to stop the rain from reaching you by shielding you with his own body.
You step back, into your kitchen.
‘I can’t sleep,’ Jungkook tells you.
‘Want a hot chocolate?’ you offer.
‘Always,’ Jungkook admits. ‘But I don’t think that’s why.’
You look up at him.
‘I belong to you,’ Jungkook tells you.
Your heart begins to pound.
‘I always have,’ he says, eyes intent on you.
You turn to give yourself some space. ‘I’ve told you, Jungkook, you don’t owe me anything.’
Your voice comes out firm, confident.
‘I owe you everything,’ Jungkook says.
‘You don’t owe me a damn thing —’
You’re cut off by Jungkook stepping forward and leaning down to kiss you. He’s gentle as always, his arm wrapping loosely around your waist to hold you as your lips meet.
Jungkook says, ‘Have you packed your bed?’
He’s backing you gently out of the kitchen, heading to the stairs.
‘Jungkook we can’t —’
He stops. ‘Don’t you want to?’ he asks.
‘Yeah, fuck, ok. We can.’
***
You’re loose, still boneless from your orgasm, when Jungkook goes to fetch you water from the kitchen.
He comes back with a glass of water, and his pelt.
‘Kinky,’ you say, teasing.
‘I didn’t tell you about pelts before,’ he says. He scoots in next to you, brushes your hair away from your face.
‘I have something to tell you about your pelt too,’ you confess.
At his expression, you say, quickly, ‘You go first.’
‘The reason I was so grateful to you when you helped me that day at the beach is that you stopped those men from taking my pelt,’ Jungkook tells you.
He looks at you. ‘For a selkie, a pelt is the source of our ability to change form.’
‘If those men had taken my pelt, I’d have been stuck in human form permanently.’
‘You should take better care of it,’ you scold.
Jungkook’s still looking at you. ‘I did. I left it with you.’
The realisation makes you sit up. ‘You should have told me how important it was!’
Jungkook says, simply, ‘I trusted you to look after it.’
You groan. ‘Why would you trust me like that, Jungkook?’
Jungkook rolls over, on top of you.
He’s heavy, but that’s not the main reason your breathing’s quickening.
‘I have more to tell you,’ he murmurs, voice husky now.
‘Yeah?’ you ask.
Jungkook leans his head down, tugs the sheet off you with his teeth.
His eyes darken as your breasts are bared to him.
‘I almost knotted you,’ he tells you.
You’re distracted, because he’s grinding against you, and you can feel exactly how hard he is.
‘Hmm?’ you ask.
Jungkook nudges his cock between your legs, pushing himself in an inch. Two.
You close your eyes. ‘Fuck, Jungkook.’
‘Knotting’s an important thing for selkies,’ Jungkook explains.
You have no idea how he even has the presence of mind to still be making full sentences.
Shit, you can’t think! Not when he’s inside you like this.
Jungkook moves, a shallow thrust that makes you moan.
‘When a selkie meets his mate, his biological response is to knot.’
‘Shit, Jungkook,’ you gasp as he moves again. ‘Can we talk about this later?’
Jungkook’s breathing hard as he moves again, and you’re pleased you’re not the only one hot and bothered by what he’s doing.
‘No,’ he says. ‘We need to talk about it. I’m worried I might —’
Your eyes snap to his.
‘What’s knotting?’
Jungkook stills, but you can still feel him, hard and throbbing inside you.
‘I’ve never knotted anyone before,’ he tells you. ‘But the other day, I nearly knotted you.’
Now he has your full attention.
‘After I come, the base of my cock swells inside you.’ He looks shy, which is a lot considering he’s inside you still.
‘It’s biological. To keep my sperm inside you.’
‘I’m on birth control —’
‘I know,’ he says. ‘But selkies haven’t evolved to get past that yet.’
You laugh. ‘Are you saying your cock gets even bigger after you’ve come?’
Jungkook buries his face between your breasts, but he’s still so hard.
‘Fuck. Ok, show me.’
‘It might hurt you,’ Jungkook says, touching your cheek.
‘You’ll look after me, won’t you?’
‘I will,’ he promises. ‘Fuck, I will.’
He starts moving again, grunting as he thrusts. You curl your hand around the nape of his neck, holding him close as he grinds against you.
‘Jungkook I —’
‘Yeah,’ he says. He presses kisses to your cheeks, to your neck, as you tighten around him.
You cry his name again as you come, hear his answering moan.
Jungkook’s thrusting slower now, movements getting more erratic as he reaches his peak.
He seals his lips to yours as he comes, groans deep in his chest. You can feel him twitching inside you as he fills you.
There’s so much come you can feel it leaking out of you.
Jungkook strokes your face, kisses you. ‘I’m going to knot,’ he tells you, voice strained. ‘Can I?’
‘Yeah,’ you say.
You turn your face into his hand, press a kiss into his palm as he swells inside you.
You shift a little, and Jungkook says, hoarse, ‘You’re doing so well, shit, it feels so good.’
He moves, once, and you moan at the pleasure of it.
‘Does it feel good for you?’ Jungkook asks. He makes the same movement again, and you moan again.
‘Yeah,’ you tell him. ‘I like it —’
Jungkook groans. ‘I like it too, baby.’
He reaches between your bodies, strokes your clit as he moves, and between the fullness inside you and the way he’s touching you, you come again.
Jungkook swears, pupils so blown his eyes look black. ‘I can feel you,’ he tells you. ‘Fuck, I can feel you.’
You bury your face in his chest, breathing in the scent of him as he holds you tightly. You have no idea how long the pleasure goes on for, if it even stops. All you know is the feel of Jungkook all around you, inside you, and it all makes sense to you.
***
Your grandmother’s grave is a simple one with a small flat polished headstone. The inscription reads, Dasom, loving mother to Ara and grandmother to Y/N, and loving wife to Dal.
Yours are the only flowers in front of it, but as you set them down you notice the square laid carefully on the ground.
It’s part of your grandfather’s pelt, you’d know it anywhere.
You look up at Jungkook, hesitant. ‘Does this mean –’
‘When a selkie dies, his pelt is given to his loved ones,’ Jungkook says.
You don’t put much stock in physical things, especially not now when you’ve seen firsthand how none of it matters, really, but you like that your grandfather’s pelt is with your grandmother.
You hope it means they’ve found each other again.
Jungkook holds out his hand to help you up, and you walk down the path together.
Author note: For Memes @madbutgloriouspond , because your friendship and kindness means the world to me.
©hamsterclaw 2023
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