#self-forgiveness

[mikefrawley]

Maybe Self Forgiveness is Possible Part II

Okay, quickly now as this was supposed to be a positive little story.  I’ve actually been drug free now for a little over three years, and cigarettes I quit a couple of months later.  My lungs have indeed paid a heavy price for this, but I refuse to ungrateful at this point.  Somehow, I truly know I cannot afford to be.  I’ve written a few times recently about self-love and writing, reading, therapy, medication and meditation have been real game changers, and I truly believe I’m taking baby steps on a very good path.  Let me pause for a second and let you know that I will be 66 years old in early May?  Isn’t this kind of late some of you may ask.  Yes, it is, but I am certain it is NOT too late.  What I have gained so far has been well worth any time and tears I’ve put into it.  I also pray that these posts may help at least one person who may be sharing some of these feelings and doubts.  If you happen to be one of them, please know that you too can learn to love yourself, you are definitely worthy of it, and it is not too late!  Okay, now I think we should share a little self-forgiveness.  To be honest, for over twenty years now, I have not forgiven myself for destroying my first career and the life that went with it.  For the past two years, up until about a year ago, I would take Uber to see specialists for my thyroid and lungs, and with every drive past nice apartment complexes, subdivisions, bookstores, restaurants, etc., I would feel terribly sad and even guilty, knowing that I had totally screwed myself out of this lifestyle forever.  Oh, by the way, I do actually have my own car now, and driving in those same areas, I still feel positive inside.  OMG, am I actually starting to forgive myself?  I honestly believe I may be, even if slowly, on my way.  Please forgive me my friends.  I know this was way too long, but I do want to share as a possible message of hope for anyone who needs it.  If you are one of us, please remember, you deserve your own self-love and self-forgiveness, you are indeed worthy of these gifts, and I assure you, it is not too late to begin.

I love you, Mike <3

#prose #personal #self-love #self-forgiveness #Maybe Self Forgiveness is Possible Part II

[eaudelune]

You need to remember that, when you act, at some level you are always striving to satisfy your needs (as is true of all living organisms). Our actions are always related to our efforts to survive, or to protect the self, or to maintain equilibrium, or to avoid fear and pain, or to nurture ourselves, or to grow. Even if the path we choose is mistaken, even if objectively we are engaged in self-destruction, subjectively at some level we are trying to take care of ourselves—as in the case of a suicide who seeks escape from intolerable pain.

Nathaniel Branden, How to Raise Your Self-Esteem: The Proven Action-Oriented Approach to Greater Self-Respect and Self-Confidence

#Nathaniel Branden #needs #self-forgiveness #self-compassion #self-understanding

[woundgallery]

#prayer #religion #end of life #self-forgiveness #text

[phoenixsavant]

Freeform Friday: When a Song is Just Right

There’s a favorite song of mine, by VNV Nation, “Solitary.” First and foremost, there’s a few lines that just light something in me and no matter how low I am, they have the power to pull me right back up to my feet. Set me aflame and cast me free. and I have never wanted more. The entire song though, hits me so deeply, and I think that’s why these two lines mean so much to me. Growing up in…

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#change #empowering #freedom #growth #music #self-acceptance #self-forgiveness #vnv nation

[theexodvs]

Self-forgiveness a narcissistic cope is for antinomian dweebs.

#Self-forgiveness #Self forgiveness #narcissism #Antinomianism #Cope #seethe and cope #Egotism #the Me generation

[bubblyani]

I’m highly in the need to self forgive cause it’s so hard to do.

How on earth is it possible to forgive myself for hurting people I love dearly and those who don’t deserve to be hurt like that at all? How on earth is it possible?

Am I not a bad person for hurting them? Am i not a monster?

How is it possible to forgive myself?

That’s the biggest mystery. At least for now.

#self forgiveness #mental health #self-forgiveness #self worth #self love #positivity #negative self talk #self talk #positive self talk

[theomnicode]

Flashy Flash, Saitama and the quest for redemption

Watch Manako turn out to be one of the kids from Flashy's ninja village who survived the carnage, but monsterized as a result of that. But when Flashy openly and sincerely regrets what he has done when Saitama is through with him, Manako will suddenly forgive Flashy for what he has done and reveal she was one of the kids he tried to slaughter and demonsterizes.

So Flash can finally stop the cycle of self-hatred he's been stuck on, because the reason he even goes after all these people in his adulthood, these drug lords and whatnot?

Self-defence.

"After all, he would not stop sending assassins my way." "Eliminate anyone who tries to hunt me down."

(That solemn, far-away look, it's so well done)

If he had killed any other people previously, crime lords, ninja village leaders and brainwashed ninja kids alike and poisoned his friend Sonic who aspired to become a good ninja leader, it only fed that same self-hatred because he realized what he had done at some point to all these people.

Thinking that because he had the power, after being brainwashed and traumatized, that he also had to dispact these individuals who abused their powers to bring harm to others.

Individuals he thought would abuse their powers in the future.

So other people don't need to experience what he went through and the self-hatred he goes through, but it won't justify any of his actions.

He knows it's not justifiable. He knows it well.

That's why he keeps doing it.

That's why he can't forgive himself for getting caught in that horrible situation when he was still a kid. That's why he can't forgive himself when he continues killing people to justify his existence.

That's why he hates himself and tries to distance himself from empathy and has become cold to his enemies. Dispact them before they can attack, so he needs to feel less. Why he attacks Saitama so ruthlessly and why he continues attacking, because he felt so instinctually threathened by Saitama's mere presence in his battle state, that he felt he had to defend himself. Yet he says he held back subconsciously, because he still has morals.

(Ironically, Saitama was also feeling fear, fight or flight response and is trying to suppress the reaction. Just two guys pissing themselves in fear of the other.)

The fear is what motivates him to hone his skills. So he would not get caught in such helpless situation again. So others would not get caught in helpless situation like that again.

That's why he's working as a hero, to try and alleviate that sense of guilt as well and trying to redeem himself somehow. To "make up" for the bad things he keeps doing.

It's a cycle he has been caught on because he feels he must personally do it as punishment, so nobody else has to and the people in power won't ever be able to come back for revenge or continue abusing others.

A self-perpetuating cycle of self-hatred.

That's why it's also funny to me that when Flash tries to "doorslam" on Saitama because he does not want to deal with the empathic response of failing to protect Saitama from harm, that he can't get rid of him anymore because Saitama got the smart idea of following him around. Saitama's high empathy will essentially follow Flash till he stops resisting and accepts it. xd

(Also important that Saitama not parallel this and doorslam him back when he hears what Flashy has actually done...)

Why is it important that Saitama not actually remove Flash from his life then? Because he needs to deal with the empathic response? Because otherwise Flash won't get redeemed?

Because this is really not so much different from Saitama knowing he has killed monsters that used to be human.

Killed other intelligent beings in self-defence and in protection of others. And hating himself for it. And trying to justify his existence by being heroic.

It's why Saitama's self-worth keeps eroding so much. It's not like he hasn't seen monsterization with his own eyes before and doesn't know how some people become monsters.

Such as Crablante, who just ate too much crabs. That's not a crime.

But suddenly he turned into a monster and became violent because of that. Not because we can prove he had previously been an evil guy who just wanted to harm other people innately or even WANTED TO ditch his own humanity, but in the process of monsterization, the subconscious limiters on becoming less/more/not/? human were removed.

Becoming animalistic, aggressive and posturing, prone to violence and not having humanity's traits like morals, empathy, kindness or compassion.

With divine power, soul power, as your drug of choice, you can become anything you want to be. Subhuman or God, no limiters.

The important thing we can possibly glean from this?

Basically, we can disprove the cognitive dissonance and reveal the illusions that humans are inherently capable of evil acts because some individuals just lack capacity for empathy and other human values and thus become immoral, violent and monstrous and that these kind of people turn into monsters, inside out. That they were deserving to be taken out because they were inherently evil. Or deserving of bad things happening to them. Deserving of dehumanization.

Rather, it is the disconnection from our humanity, our empathy, compassion, kindness and morals which defines humanity and our higher cognitive functions, is what allows humanity do evil acts if they so choose.

You can't remove these qualities from people normally. But you can disconnect and be disconnected from them. Voluntarily or involuntarily, depending of the circumstances. Upbringing, environment, mental health, you name it.

Fearing and being ashamed of your own humanity and the resulting empathic response, can also turn people into monsters.

There is always a choice though.

Saitama too, can forgive himself and feel actual self-worth because he too, is human. Even though if he feels he has made mistakes in the past that he deems as morally reprehensible acts because he has that high moral integrity.

Not romanticizing killing here and the intent of Flashy going after the bosses of people who send assassins after him and killing bunch of people and comparing it to Saitama who only kills in self-defence. Yea, he's a serial killer alright. But we can still understand where the guy is coming from and why he keeps killing in the first place and the emotions fueling the motivation behind it. He would have all the skillset in subduing anybody he ever desires and bring them in instead of killing them, meanwhile Saitama probably doesn't feel so lucky. Helping him to break the cycle does not mean absolving him of his crimes or romanticizing killing. Future Garou killed and then he took his own life to absolve himself. But Flashy is a person who could definitely be rehabilitated with proper help and have his own redemption, because he's not that far gone yet to not have some sense of morals and empathy. Not yet a character who does not retain humanity.

That's why, I feel ninja village arc is important. For self-forgiveness. For both of them.

If Saitama can get into Flashy's shoes for a moment and feel empathy for him, then he too, can forgive himself.

If kindness is strenght, then one cannot attain true strenght and self-growth without being kind to themselves first.

Help yourself first, before you can help others.

#one punch man #opm meta #opm wc spoilers #flashy flash #saitama #opm #self-hatred #self-worth #self-forgiveness #redemption #ninja village #opm manga panels #opm prediction

[truths89]

Asservation

I was certain I had a hex on on my neck, But to my self-narrative I performed a spellcheck 

That which you seek to sedate Makes you an eager bait 

To your inner child, rock her awake  Her pained slumber, you must break 

The seesaw didn’t go nowhere She can play freely, with a flare for self-care When folk insist that you shrink to be small, Let them crawl, and with they own self, they can brawl 

No more matching energy—infinity and beyond Your self-monologue is your WAND May your mind’s tongue cast An abundance of bliss unparalleled and vast 

#poetry #zisa aziza #spirituality #negressofsaturn #healing #evolution #energy #trauma #inner child #self-healing #self-therapy #self-accountability #grace #nuturing #self-forgiveness #writers and poets #poets on tumblr #black women #cptsd recovery #truths89

[razreads]

All that sadness. All that anger. It is the smoke that gets into your eyes. If you do not blow it away, how can you hope to see?

Anthony Horowitz, Russian Roulette

#razreads #book quote #russian roulette #anthony horowitz #sadness #anger #emotion #forgiveness #self-forgiveness #queue have a good day now

[quietflorilegium]

"Forgiving other people is great practice for forgiving yourself when the time comes."

Matt Haig, "The Comfort Book"

#matt haig #the comfort book #forgiveness #self-forgiveness

[warm-autumn-evenings]

changing every “i should have known better” to “i know better now”. i will not judge past versions of me through the lens of who i am now.

#healing #self acceptance #self esteem #self forgiveness #non judgement #unconditional love

[mikefrawley]

Maybe Self-Forgiveness is Possible Part I

Greetings my friends, and yes, this is another of those baby steps on the long road to wellness posts.  As many of you know, I've already lived through two twenty years plus careers, and often refer to the first one as my former life.  Needless to say, as a young computer programmer long ago, I was living a good bit higher on the corporate food chain than I am now.  Two new houses, the second in South Florida with a pool.  Regrettably though, while I looked mostly good on the outside, my insides were a war zone.  While no one could physically see them, my inner child issues which I never really understood have haunted me for most of my years on planet earth, and ultimately played a great part in discovering the true yet highly self-destructive love of my life, Cocaine, and yes, I have to admit I immediately fell in love.  Soon enough though, along with all of the obvious nightmares my love I could not honestly say I loved anyone or anything else, family, friends, a very special girlfriend, who broke up with me not once but twice over my "other" love.  Amazingly, as I've told only a few very close friends, I joked (but I wasn't joking) that I've been thrown out of most of the best halfway houses in Broward County, and once I got myself thrown out of the homeless shelter.  Forgive me please, but how the fuck do you even do that? If this sounds like a joke, it certainly could be if only it wasn't so true.  Anyway, I'll race through the next few years which included homelessness, being unemployed and unemployable, and I was even an indigent for a while.  My first stay with my current company started on the day after Christmas and lasted just a few months.  Can you guess how?  Yep, I got myself thrown out again.  Miraculously, Joan (the same woman who hired me the first time) hired me again.  Though I’ve brought myself to the edge with many close calls, miraculously I’m still here somehow.  Long ago this crazy life I’ve somehow survived thus far proved to me that there must be something many of us call grace has kept me alive, and maybe there is even a reason for that.  I’ve also been blessed by having several people who’ve loved me, and in some cases I must admit I’m not quite sure why, but I AM grateful!  To be continued.

#prose #personal #self-love #self-forgiveness #Maybe Self-Forgiveness is Possible Part I

[eaudelune]

Forgiveness is wonderful. It wipes the slate clean. It clears up guilt. It brings peace and harmony. It acknowledges and accepts the humanity we all share, and it says, “That’s okay. I love you anyway.” We need to be gentle, loving, and forgiving with ourselves before we can expect to forgive others. We need to think about how, why, and when we dole out forgiveness.

Melody Beattie, Codependent No More: How to stop controlling others and start caring for ourselves.

#Melody Beattie #forgiveness #self-forgiveness

[urloveangel]

my favourite anti-aging methods are inner peace, forgiveness and minding my business

#forever baby face #anti-aging #peace #forgiveness #divine love #self love #self healing #mindfulness

[haleyincarnate]

Forgive yourself.

#hmh #mine #forgiveness #self love #learning #quote art #collage art #change #loss #moving on #bravery #art #handmade

[lifeinspiration4all]

The Power of Self-Forgiveness: Why It's Important

The Power of Self-Forgiveness: Why It’s Important. Have you ever found yourself stuck in the past, constantly dwelling on mistakes and regrets? You don’t have to carry your burden forever. Forgiveness can set your soul free. “Learn from the past but don’t forget to live for the present moment. This moment is your life.” ― Debasish Mridha Many different things hurt and happen as we travel…

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#life #eckhart tolle the power of now #how to forgive yourself of the past #how to forgive yourself of the past eckhart tolle teachings #inner peace #inspiration #keep moving on #let&039;s talk about mental health #let&039;s talk about mental health jeremy godwin #powerful motivational video #price of forgiveness #self-forgiveness #the cost of forgiveness #the power of forgiveness #the power of now #the school of life #united states of america (country)