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atzfilm · 1 year

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clair de lune. (m) - part seven

genre; yandere, vampire!au, reincarnation! au angst, smut

pairing; ot8/f.reader

word count: 23k

warnings; manipulation, explicit scenes, murder, blood, smut, gaslighting, prior abuse/assault mentioned, knives, wounds, brief talk of religion, mass murder

summary; you’ve finally gotten the chance to enter “clair de lune”, a infamous night club to see the band hiraeth. but why did you feel like their eyes only watched you?

note: this first deals with the subject of yandere. with that being said, a lot of the things happening in this fiction will be manipulation, gaslighting, and various other techniques displayed by the characters. if you are not comfortable with that, please do not read.

masterlist | final

Chapter 7:

He balances the two fruits in his hands. In another time, maybe years from now, it’d be humorous to take the box of peaches and bring them home to you. Maybe you’d scold him but laugh after a while. But now, it’s not the case. He grimaces at the thin film coating the apples, eyes flicking to the imported country it came from. He only sighs, placing it lightly on the top of the pile and continuing down the aisle. What other fruits did you like? He cannot recall any that you’ve mentioned, Wooyoung being the one to insist on buying you peaches. It’s interesting that none of them asked you if you truly liked it, if it was your favorite fruit just as it was Rose’s. Another failure on their part, he supposes. In all honesty, he cannot recall you mentioning anything about peaches. He throws in a few vegetables he’s seen you eat without scrunching your nose, a warmth overcoming him at the image. Though you are not as close with him as many of the others, he enjoys your presence, nonetheless. If it were possible to somehow turn back time, make you see him as he is now, he would have. If it were so, maybe you’d see him in a different light. Maybe you would smile at him just as you do with Yeosang.

Or did, rather.

He sighs, placing his basket upon the counter and softly thanking the cashier for scanning. Just as he begins to bag a familiar scent fills his nose.

“How unfortunate,” he murmurs, not bothering to glance back to see the man. “We have an agreement, Han. Or are you too isolated from the others that Subin cannot reign you in?”

“Your scent has always been in its best condition.” He enters his view, leaning against the wall as he watches him pack the food. “I’d never thought I'd see the day Park Seonghwa shopped in a market.”

“Come back at the same time in a few days and you’ll see me again.” He ties the bag, eyes flicking to his old friend’s. He looks sickly in comparison, skin translucent, eyes bloodshot. Even his hair looks thin and brittle, the long strands framing his face can easily fall with a high burst of wind. At another time, he’d feel pity. On another day, he’d even offer him some blood. But all he can do is shake his head, stepping past him.

“You treat me as if we were never friends, Park.”

“What do you expect me to do, welcome you with open arms?” Seonghwa holds the door for him. “We’ve had an agreement for over a century. And as you may know, it’s been broken a few times the past few months. Not wise to come here and break it even more.”

“I have not touched one human on your side.”

“That I can tell,” his breath is long as he turns back to him. “What do you want? Blood? I cannot give it to you, you know that. Joong would kill me before even touching you. And I'd rather keep all my limbs. They're quite helpful–"

"I don't care for blood, Park. If that were the case, I would have left long ago."

He doubts that entirely on his appearance alone. But he lets him speak. There's little chance for anything other than a few jabs here and there. Maybe an insult. "What do you desire then?"

"y/n is leaving," he starts. "Asking how I know is a moot point, but everyone knows. Clans beyond just ours. We aren't sure if Sejun shared it or not, but word is spreading. She will not be as safe as you think outside your walls. Once she is away, she will be hunted. Every vampire desires to taste the blood of the descendant of the first woman who was turned. Especially since she belongs to you all. It will not end well."

It is as he expected. Seonghwa grips his bag, thinking. The first thought is to tell Hongjoong, have him come up with a plan. The next, perhaps tell you of the danger? Have you stay longer in their care? He doubts you'd even consider it. But what other choice does he have? Letting you step outside and die? Seonghwa’s gaze moves to your old best friend's.

"What are you gaining out of telling me this?"

"Protection."

If his brows could furrow tighter, they would. "Pardon?"

He sighs loudly, glancing behind him before turning back around. "Subin is planning something big, and I need your word that you will protect me when it happens. I will do anything for my clan leader, but I cannot and will not risk my life for a woman I barely know."

"That's quite sad, seeing as she's been your friend for several years now."

"Seonghwa," He hisses.

"I cannot promise something that has no value. Unlike you, I am under the will of my captain. What he says goes. If he wants me to kill you at this very moment, I'd do it without hesitation. My loyalty is solid. I am sorry." And it is genuine. Having to nearly beg on your knees in front of your enemy for your life is not what he wishes upon any. It goes beyond pathetic. Almost revolting as he sees the defeat in Seungwoo's gaze.

"Will any of you ever think for yourselves? It's been hundreds of years and you are still under his thumb. It's pitiful. Especially for you, Seonghwa. He will never look at you the way he looks at her. Sooner or later you'll see that he will pick her every time."

His grip tightens around the bag in his hand. "My interpersonal relationships are of no consequence to you. And you're telling me things I already know. Do you think that I've spent these years deluded? I know where I stand in my relationships. But it seems that you still don't," he takes a step toward him. "I feel bad for you. Your clan leader is so involved with himself that he does not care about all of you. Hongjoong could care about me the least and he will never neglect me to the point I'd have to follow my enemy into a grocery store, and beg for protection. It's laughable, now that I look at you."

His lip quips at the glare forming on his face.

"Seems like I've been wrong about you. You're the same as the rest."

"That's your fault for taking my kindness for weakness, Han. Now go before one of the others appear. They don't take trespassing as lightly as I do."

Seungwoo stands there for a moment longer. He looks as if he wants to say more, but all he does is shake his head, disappearing down the street. Once he's out of view, Seonghwa sighs, rubbing his hand over his face. Mild surprise is an understatement. He'd rather not deal with the aftermath of telling the others of his presence, but lying by omission will only make everything much worse.

He slides into his slippers just as he enters his home. There's always a few conversations happening when he enters, often Wooyoung bickering with San, or Mingi and Yunho teasing one another. But all he can hear is silence. He glances in the empty living room before entering the kitchen, placing the groceries on the table. Should he check up on you? Or have you left somewhere with the others? It's not uncommon for one of them to steal you without telling anyone else.

A door just outside the kitchen slams against the wooden pane, splintering from the force. Seonghwa winces, sighing. What happened now? He leaves his groceries unmanned, peeking out the kitchen doorway. Yunho stands there, pacing back and forth, gaze glossed over. He doesn't bother saying a word to him, Mingi stepping out of the room after him. His eyes flick to Seonghwa, widening before looking away.

Said man’s brows furrowed in confusion, “What happened?”

“He took her, hyung,” Mingi whispers, wincing as Yunho’s fist hits the wall beside him. “We were too slow, we didn’t get to her in time.” The steaming coffee in his hand spills, skin unaffected.

Without another word, Seonghwa moves past the both of them, striding down the hall. His eyes move to the small group of them crowding around your door. They step aside as he enters her room. The first thing he notices is the broken window, and no signs of you. All he could think is that you're gone. They lost you when you were underneath their roof. And he was out and about, unable to help.

Just like before.

“I’ll take care of you, y/n. I’m not like the rest of them,” his touch is rough, bumpy scars dragging along your cheek. You flinch but he only digs his nails deeper, forcing you to stare at him. Just as he leans forward, you let out a brief cry. His eyes narrow, letting you go. You tug on the metal that encases your ankles, grunting. It’s hopeless, fruitless, you know that. Especially with him standing there and watching you. But you’re desperate, your thoughts only on you leaving.

“What do you hope to achieve with this?” You ask, turning to him. “Do you think this kidnapping will make me trust you? Because I feel far from it, Sejun.”

“From what I remember you liked being tied up.”

“I am not Rose,” your tone is filled with exhaustion. It’s as if none of them listen. You’re not that woman, you’ll never be. No matter how much they desire it. “I”ll never be her. All of you need to move on for fuck’s sake.”

He laughs, shaking his head, “You don’t remember anything at all? Those little visions didn’t help you figure out that they’re fucked in the head? Vampirism doesn’t only force you to suck the blood out of humans forever, y/n. It does some crazy shit to you. Makes you believe things that aren’t true. They don't love you, never will.”

He leans against the wall. "You say you're not Rose but you are just as stubborn, just as oblivious. Though she did take the easy way out while you seem to be hanging on a bit longer," His head tilts as he loses himself in thought. "You said you were leaving, where are you going?"

"Home."

His brows furrow. "Home? You’ve decided to endanger your family because you're afraid of solving your own problems? Taking that great of a risk is not wise. They want you, and they will do anything for it. Your family will only end up being pawns. Though I am sure they know where they live, entering your family’s home is a death sentence."

"Then what can I do? They're all I have; none of my friends respond to my calls or texts, my apartment is flooded, I have nothing. All I have left is them, and I can't stay there," You can feel the tears threatening to fall. "Your brother poisoned me, you know that? He wanted me to be like them so desperately he fucking poisoned the peaches I ate."

A surprised laugh punctuates his sentence, shaking his head. "A bit of a shock, no? That kid loves human warmth more than anything. Thought he'd let you live longer than that. Must have ruffled his feathers in some way," he tsks. "Too late now, I suppose."

"Why did you pretend to be Seonghwa?" You ask, ignoring his harsh words. "Why would you try to convince me to stay?"

He shrugs, "To make you believe that I was actually him. I was taking you with me either way. Just easier for you to think I was him so we could leave without catching unnecessary attention. Unfortunately plans changed when you noticed my body temperature," he sighs, rubbing his forearm. "Pity that Hongjoong couldn't duplicate it for the rest of them. You wouldn't have noticed then."

"Why would he turn you?"

"Believe it or not," he rocks on his heels. "Him and I were good friends before this all happened. For a while. Longer than he's known the clan he's with now. Not as close, no, but I was the experiment of his. The first person he turned," his sigh is exaggerated, prolonged. "The person who made him into this didn't exactly like that. Made it so no one else could be as we are. He probably hates my existence now, but there's little he can do about it. Him and I are nearly the same age, give or take a few years. But that matters so little, so I digress."

There's something bothering you about his words. The possibility of him being the first turned is fine, sure. But it wouldn't make sense if he's Wooyoung's brother. He watches you as you think it through, head spinning. The way Wooyoung crumbled to the ground when he saw him, they must be related in some way. Devastation like that is hard to fake.

"Wooyoung and I are not blood brothers," he interrupts your thoughts, answering the lingering question. "He believes it because his captain convinced him. The reasoning is beyond my own knowledge, but I followed everything he said back then. Not as much now, since his influence no longer works on me. I've learned to ignore those deep whispers in my mind," he taps his temple. "Unfortunately, Wooyoung will never know. But lies fall from his lips anyway so he shouldn't be that disappointed."

"I saw how he looked at you, Sejun. He cares for you deeply, cared. He thought you were dead. He’d be broken if he found out the truth." The way his hold trembled against yours in that shop, the drop to the floor due to the onslaught of emotions. "You speak of him like he's an inconvenience."

"That he is," he shrugs. "You were my goal in the end, nothing more. His attachment to a man that died hundreds of years ago is none of my concern."

"Why me?"

This time he stares, eyes flicking over your body. It chills you the way his stare hardens, swallowing slowly. "When Rose was alive I made mistakes. It's nothing I can fix nor apologize for because she's dead. And before your thoughts stray, I am not obsessed with you like the others. I acknowledge that you are different. It is just that, the thought of there being another Rose was impossible in my mind. No, in fact, it was never a thought of mine. Once she died, the horror was over. All of us would be able to live our separate lives without ever meeting again. Subin made the choice of keeping an eye on them, which was a mistake, but in a way, a good thing. Neither of us would have found out about you.

"Hongjoong has always had this obsession with things that were out of his reach. The past is irrelevant now, but much of it can explain why he is the way he is now. To put it simply: He has been in love with every iteration of you. And every time he gets close, he loses you. Rose, her mother, her grandmother. I thought the line would have ended since Rose was unable to have children. Unfortunately her soul still lives on," His nose wrinkles. "Thousands of years have only made the obsession fester rather than dissipate. Your appearance resembling Rose has only amplified his delusions. None of this is your fault, y/n. If it were possible to change your face, your soul, it would have been done already. I owe that much to your prior life,” his eyes flick over you, pained. “Saying sorry to you means nothing because you’re not her, but I am. I am deeply apologetic.”

You take in his words, eyes glued to the floor. Rose had a hard life from the glimpses you’ve witnessed. She struggled every waking moment, moreso when she met this clan. You’re not sure what happened between her and Sejun, but from the way he speaks they were involved somehow. Romantically more than likely; from what you’ve seen, Rose enjoyed her extracurricular activities. And Sejun is far from ugly. You suck in a breath, thinking. Is there any way to convince him to let you go? It may be unlikely since he infiltrated their home just to get you. So why, what is the reason?

“What are you planning on doing with me, then?”

He swallows slowly. “I owe Subin. To put it simply: I fucked up back then and ruined everything. I never got the chance to apologize to him, so I told him I’ll do him a favor. He wanted you, so I agreed. It would have been farther down the line, but Hanse is dead now. He only has a few left in his clan and he doesn’t want to risk any of them. So he asked me to get you. I’m supposed to bring you to him right now actually, but I wanted to speak to you alone. Hopefully get a look into that head of yours, and see what you’re thinking. So far there’s nothing interesting.”

“An insult, how kind of you,” you frown. He lets out a chuckle, shaking his head.

“I can see why it’s hard for them to tell the difference. You’re more alike than you think.”

“The restraints then?” you gesture to them. “Do you expect me to run? I wouldn’t get far, anyway.”

“You still tugged on them a bit. And it’s easier to speak to you without having to chase you around this room," he slides down the wall, sitting. "Maybe try to change your mind about going back to them after this all blows over."

"... I'm not going back."

He chuckles dryly, "Right. Just like the sun isn't going to rise tomorrow. Listen, Subin is going to attempt to kill you."

"What the fuck?" You pull harshly on the chains. "And you expect me to just agree?"

"Who the hell would agree to that?" He scoffs. "No, I'm warning you before we get there. Just because I owe him a favor doesn't mean I'm gonna let you walk in there blind. Rose back then wanted him to kill her if she was close to turning, and he agreed to it. In his mind he believes the promise is still valid despite you two being different people. Tell him no, and agree to his plan that he suggests otherwise. We will move from there."

"We, there's still a we in this? How can I believe anything you're saying?"

He stands, moving closer to you. He tugs lightly, chains immediately falling apart in his grip. "There's no reason for you to. You shouldn't believe any of us in all honesty. All of us have our agendas. Mine just happens to line up with yours. I don't want you to die. Not like this. Not again. Suffering in another life because of all of us. It's hard to believe I know that, but what options do you have? Subin, the kid that wants to bury you? Your newly adopted clan that's willing to turn you into one of them without your permission? Again? Rough choices."

You rub your wrist as you look up at him. He crouches and pulls off the restraints around your ankles. There are choices. You can run, eventually get caught by one of them. Try to kill them, though you are very aware of how that ended for Rose. And you have less than half of the confidence and strife she had back then. You couldn't even watch the man who poisoned you suffer, unlikely you'd be able to hurt any of them yourself. Running home. Risking your family– No. You look at Sejun. You cannot trust him, but what else can you do? What other choice do you have?

"I don't trust you."

"I know."

"All of this, in the end, will I be free?"

He stares at you. "Honestly? Probably not. I might die before we get to the end. Actually, I'm pretty sure I will when Hongjoong finds me," he rubs the back of his neck. "But I'm not afraid of death. It's been long enough. I'll try my best to lend you my knowledge before I go. I'll leave the rest to you."

There's something else.

"Sejun," you start, slowly standing. "What were you to Rose?"

He grins, "An asshole ex, y/n."

“Did you…?” You don’t say the words.

“I had a temper back then. I hurt her accidentally plenty of times, yes. But after the first time, is it really an accident?” He keeps his gaze to the floor. “I hurt her even if I thought I didn’t mean it. I did it. Just another part of her suffering back then. I’d do anything to change back time, somehow remove myself from Hongjoong, from her life. I deserve to suffer twice as long as she has. I can help you now.”

"We have to get her."

"No," Hongjoong adjusts his coat, frowning as he pulls off a dust ball. "She made her choice. She wants us gone, she wants to leave, then let her. No more rescue missions, no more devoting our hours to her. Let her go."

Seonghwa narrows his eyes, "You have to understand that I do not believe a word falling from your lips."

Hongjoong snickers, shrugging. "Then that is so. Either way, it is unwise for any of you to go running after her. It is for her own good. She refused to trust us and our words, so she will suffer the consequences. She will see what it means to have us removed from her life."

Yeosang steps closer, "He may hurt her–"

"A few bruises never hurt anyone," he points out. "You know that well."

His hands slowly form into fists as he glares at him. Hongjoong notes this, tilting his head as he stares at his friend. "What will you do, hm? Go against my words? You know you don't have to follow them. You can run after her if you'd like. She would probably want to see you the most. As she always has."

"You will not stop us?" Yunho's brows furrow, arms crossed against his chest. "That is unlike you."

"Because I know you will see how unsuccessful the venture will be. He will not go down without a fight. He will kill every single one of you because he is nearly as strong as I. Have you forgotten? He has the privilege, he is older than you all. Human blood still runs through his veins. The only one who stands a chance is myself, and I want to teach her a lesson. So go if you like, lose your lives so that I am the only one remaining. I am sure she would enjoy it."

The others say nothing. Jongho is the first to break the silence.

"Then what will we do?"

His wild, cheshire grin stuns them. "We go to our show. We perform, and we feed. I will tell you the next step then."

“Pull yourself together.”

San watches as Yeosang paces back and forth, fists clenching and unclenching. He has rarely ever seen him filled with this much fury, thoughts seemingly scattered as he ignores every word San attempts to tell him. San tried to stop his pacing but was met with such angst that he moved out of the way, letting him continue. Yeosang runs his fingers through his hair, breaths heavy as he controls his breathing.

“It’s been days. Subin will kill her,” he starts, looking at San. “There is no doubt in it. y/n will die.”

“We aren’t certain of it—”

“He’s spoken about it for centuries, San. Centuries. A day with her isn’t going to change his mind and we both know it. She’s going to die,” Yeosang holds himself up against the wall, unable to handle the onslaught of emotions cascading from him. He’s forced himself to not feel for all this time, to push back the thoughts that caged him inside of this body, made him ill for an unknown amount of time. But how can he stand here and listen to Hongjoong? He finally has you, and he’s already lost you once more. “If she dies–”

“You will not perish along with her,” Wooyoung enters the room, shooting San a look. “Control yourself Yeosang, I thought you were over this.”

He shakes his head, gaze lifting from the floor to look at his friend. “Do not stand there and pretend all of this isn’t your fault. You poisoned her and you made me lie. You influenced my hand without my permission. When you explicitly told me you’d never use your hold against me again, you did. And now we’ve lost her.”

“I poisoned her for everyone’s sake. She would have been ours. Right, Sannie?” Wooyoung looks at his closest friend, “Isn’t that what you’ve wanted?”

San swallows softly, looking between his two friends. It’s been like this ever since Wooyoung turned Yeosang. A push and pull between the three of them, a longing in Wooyoung’s eyes as he desperately wanted Yeosang to accept him as he is, followed by refutation every single time. Growing closer with San because of it, the relationship between the trio strained. He rubs his face, thinking.

“I want her, yes,” he says simply, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with either of them. He’s learned that it is best to toe the line, never choosing a side. “But it is likely we might not ever see her again if we continue down this path.” Not until now, of course.

Wooyoung’s bright smile wavers, brows furrowing. “I don’t understand.”

“If you don’t understand his words then you never will, Woo,” Yeosang says softly. “All he has ever done is try to nurture you, to accept you as you are now, mourn who you once were. We all have at some point. But it is hard when your mind is so diluted with need for her that you cannot think properly. How many times must we go through this to try and make you see that what you’re doing is not okay?”

“I’ve been this way long enough for you to get used to it,” he sucks his teeth. “And don’t place all the blame on me. It wasn’t my idea to flood her apartment. I wasn’t the one who killed her friend. We all have a role in this. I’m sorry if you loved the pathetic man I was before, he’s been gone for hundreds of years now.”

“You call him pathetic,” Yeosang whispers. “But I called him my best friend.”

Wooyoung steps closer to him, crouching down to meet his gaze. “Called, you say? Am I no longer that? Do you no longer consider me your best friend?”

He says nothing then, the tension thickening in the room. Wooyoung takes several steps toward him, San standing in the way. He merely laughs at his friend, pushing him aside. He stands just before Yeosang, a small smirk forming on his lips.

“Do you consider me your best friend, Kang Yeosang?”

Yeosang swallows. Though he does not say it, Wooyoung can see the twitch of his lip, the slight shake of his head. It is enough to push him to the edge. His eyes darkened, red slowly fading.

“You will listen to my words now and follow them,” his fingers dig into Yeosang’s shoulder as he stares down at him. “Every word that I tell y/n you will agree is true. You will convince her that I am not as bad as she may think, and you will do it diligently. If she does not believe you after days of trying…” Wooyoung trails off, eyes glazed over. “If she does not believe you, you will leave this home. And you will not remember me being the one to tell you this."

“Wooyoung—” Yeosang’s eyes widen, trying to remove himself from his grip.

“Enough.”

They all turn to the new arrival, Yunho leaning against the door frame. He frowns at them all, lingering on Yeosang’s crouched body, Wooyoung’s grip. Said man lets him go, though there is a sly smile on his lips. “Hongjoong found out where she is.”

“Do we go against his word?”

“Is there any other way? We’ve followed along with him for centuries with little protest. Of course, there will come a time when we do not. And that time is now,” Yunho stretches his hands through the sweater, adjusting it in the mirror. “We do this on our own.”

“Hongjoong said we’d be killed.”

“And you believe him?”

Wooyoung purses his lips, eyes shifting to Seonghwa in the corner of the room. “There was never a reason for me not to."

“A lot of things you don’t know about, Wooyoung,” Yunho tosses Seonghwa his bag, scoffing at how the man dodges it, letting it fall to the floor. “He isn’t coming with us so there’s no need to worry about him.”

“He’ll tell captain.”

“Probably,” Yunho shrugs, throwing a bag over his shoulder. “Hongjoong could stop us if he wants to. Doubt it though.”

“Why?”

Yunho sighs, turning back to him. “When were you ever one to ask so many questions? You usually follow.”

“It’s…” Wooyoung’s eyes shift to Yeosang, noticing how the man is curled on the floor, eyes shut. There’s little he can do to persuade him to come unless he forces him to, but he’s dealt with those consequences already. Doing it again will only feed his benefit, and no one else’s. Wooyoung sighs, buttoning up the leather jacket he does not need, shifting his eyes to San in the far corner. He leans against the wall, watching the two of them. “How long will it take to get there?”

“Not long,” Yunho shrugs. “They brought her to our club.”

This catches the attention of the others in the room, Seonghwa’s eyes widening at the news. Yeosang still does not move from his spot, even as San nudges his body. A knock on the door interrupts them, Hongjoong standing there silently.

“Ready?”

They tense, only causing him to roll his eyes. “I wouldn’t go alone. There will be others to handle there other than Subin,” he glances at Wooyoung. “I’m going to kill him for good this time. You know that right?” He does not utter the name, but he sees how his body shifts at the thought. “Having him linger around is not wise, Woo. Especially around y/n.”

“I know,” he closes his eyes briefly. “I know that.”

“Then I need your word you will not interfere when I do so.”

He sucks in a breath, nodding. “You have it."

Hongjoong chuckles dryly. “Great. You’re staying here with Yeosang.”

“Captain—”

“Ah,” he holds up his hand, stopping his incoming rant. “No need to protest because I will continue to stand here and deny your requests until I am blue in the face. No. You’re not coming, and you’re staying with the man you’ve manipulated for months on end. These are only the consequences of your own actions, Wooyoung," he leans against the doorway, arms crossed. "Did you believe I would let you off the hook just because she favors you? I have not forgotten what you were doing. If she were not there, you would no longer be on this Earth.” He tilts his head, thinking. “I could persuade her that you are a danger and truly remove you from our sights, but that would be unfair to the others. In their minds, some part of the old Wooyoung exists beneath the one we see today. But I’ve spoken too much. Yunho, San, let’s go.”

Hongjoong does not bother to acknowledge Seonghwa sitting on the opposing side of the room, exiting without another word. San nods at the others, following behind Yunho and his captain. He shuts the door behind him, leaving the three alone.

Freedom only seems to mock you as you gaze upon it only a few steps away, lit by the fire encased inside lanterns adorning the hallways. It is of no fault of your own that you missed how eerie it truly is inside of their club; consumed by loud music and screaming concert-goers. Still you can’t help but scoff at the blatantly obvious red flags only steps away from the door. Perhaps everyone else was too intoxicated to notice the strange markings on the walls, the endless hallways. All of it brings strange feelings within you, auras of discomfort. Spending time here without the crowds of people makes it seem all the more odd. If it weren’t for Sejun pulling you into the back room, you would have left without a second thought given.

“Their allurement is what makes this place lively. Without them it only feels like a creepy box,” he says, matching your thoughts entirely. “They never needed to clean up this place; blood stains the floors and walls. Disgusting if we truly think about it, though Seonghwa himself tries his best to make it look at least presentable. Now he doesn’t have much time to do so since he spends his days with you.”

If there was a semblance of jealousy in his words you cannot find it. He drops your wrist, shutting the stage door behind him as he paces back and forth. He seems unsettled, and you don’t speak up to make him even more so. His eyes flick to you, narrowing when they meet. “Subin told me he’d be here.”

“And I was not lying about it, friend,” his voice appears just behind you, goosebumps covering your skin. You turn around, meeting the deep, tired eyes of Rose’s brother. He nods at you, glancing around to look at Sejun. “Did they follow you?”

“They’re too preoccupied in their own snags to pay attention to their surroundings. Though I’m fairly certain Jongho has figured it out by now, he seems attune to her scent the most.”

“Our time is limited, then,” Subin sighs, focusing back on you. He takes a step forward only for you to mirror him. He tilts his head back in exasperation. “They will come for you soon y/n, it’s best to end this now.”

“End what exactly? I’ve spoken to you twice in the past few months, and we never discussed anything ‘ending’. Be more specific.”

A smile rests on his face, “Never-ending in your quick wit even after hundreds of years passed.” He rests against the familiar seat, one you sat in when you first met them all; the beginning of your descent into their hands. If you knew then, you would have never accepted your friend’s invitation to the performance. Things would be different. He seems to know it as well, fingers brushing against the leather cushions.

"When you were my sister, you spoke to me about ending your life if you were ever in danger of being turned into one of them. Us, rather. Back then I was too involved with the captain to take your words to heart, but by the time I realized you were in peril I was too late. You’ve already died. I mourned for you, for the loss of ever knowing you, and I thought that was done. I accepted your fate. But seeing you now, after Hanse told me of your presence in the club, it felt like almost a favor. I have always been quite a religious man, so it must have been an act of God. He’s given me another opportunity to save you. Who would I be if I didn’t take it?”

Oh, they are all misguided, aren’t they? Sejun does not seem to believe his words either, rolling his eyes as Subin speaks.

“You believe that I would want you to kill me now?” You furrow your brows. “You do understand that we are not the same people?”

“Outer appearance does not matter, though you look eerily alike,” he notes, “It was a promise I plan to keep, y/n. There’s no reason for me to break it now.”

“Well I do have one.” You have several, in fact. “I am not her, so the promise does not hold true. And I do believe you have bigger problems. You have no more places to feed, Subin. That’s something you should be worried about.” And forget about you completely, hopefully. "Continuing to follow me around when I'm with them is not a good idea."

"You wish to be with men that would kill anyone who speaks to you?" His brows furrow. "You're worried for me because you know they'll kill me if given the chance. That's who you desire to be with? Are you sure of your choice?"

"Hongjoong said he wouldn't–" you stop in the middle of your diatribe, remembering the switch of tone, the evil lurking in his gaze when he proclaimed that he'd kill Subin. "I'm leaving them so you don't need to worry anymore. Just leave me alone, come up with a compromise that doesn't lead to your death. Rose and I both will be happy if you stay alive." As alive as a vampire can be. But you digress.

"Rose hated me," Subin frowns. "When I became like this she hated it. She would have killed me if she saw me alive today, not let me live. That is the difference between the two of you. Rose hated vampires, hated the bloodshed, hated being one. You do not hate it. They will take advantage of that. They already have. You were being poisoned by Wooyoung and you saved him. Do you realize how tightly they've dug themselves into your life? You saved the monster that was slowly killing you. You didn't run out of fear, leave immediately. You saved him. How can you not see?"

Sejun scoffs from his corner, shaking his head. "Fucking hell."

There’s no use in questioning how he knows, all of these vampires seem to know things you’ve never uttered. "I'm already gone, I can go somewhere. Maybe abroad, I don't know," you stumble over your words, knowing it's of no use. They will find you anywhere. Your time apart will be brief, until you see them stumbling into somewhere you've escaped to. So you say the only thing you can think of.

"I don't want to die, Subin. I've barely lived."

Subin’s brows furrow, eyes filled with sorrow. "Is that what you desire? Do you truly want to live the rest of your life in fear of them? Unable to run away?"

No. That's not what you want. "I want to live as I did before and I know it's not possible anymore. But do I have no other choice than death? There's nothing else I can do?"

"There are few things in this world that make Hongjoong weak. Though most he would never admit to."

"Care to share?"

"That makeshift family of is," he waves his hand, nose wrinkled. "He will never say the words himself, but they are the remainder of humanity he has left. I am sure he has told both you and Rose, but he wasn't this… caring when it came to humans. Not until he met those seven. Especially Wooyoung. He is quite fond of Sejun’s brother even if he would kill him in just a brief moment," he furrows his brows in thought. "I am sure it will haunt him until the end of his days."

You can't imagine hurting any of them. Their past is something that often buries itself in the back of your mind, but never irks you. Killing them to get back at Hongjoong will never be a choice of yours. Even Wooyoung, the man who slowly poisoned you. It is all stupid and ridiculous when you think deeply about it. But so is love, unfortunately.

"And you, y/n," he says. "You are his weakness. He will kill every single person on this planet so that you're content. I would advise to never divulge what your past partners have done, or old friends. They would end up in the back of the papers soon enough. Now that I think of it though, you can use that to your advantage. He is infatuated with you. Make him believe you love him the same, then kill him."

"Kill him?" Rose back then would have done it without a second thought. But you? You step on a small beetle by accident and it ruins your week. Making Hongjoong fall for your lies then killing him… it's unimaginable. "That's the only choice I have?"

"y/n, listen to my words carefully." He bends his knees, balancing on the edges of his feet as he meets your eyes. "Hongjoong will not stop until he gets what he wants. He has waited hundreds of years to have you. He is smart – he will be able to read the lies you feed him."

Subin’s eyes flick behind you, before meeting your gaze again. "Every creature can be killed. Even abominations like us. That you know from Hanse's death. If you would like, I can tell you our weaknesses. I couldn't save you back then, I was too late. But if you would let me, I can save you now. I can show you how to, to finish the plan that Rose couldn't complete herself."

Kill them?

The thought pains you. It's the last thing you want. But seeing how tortured they are, how easily they could switch their personalities, how they more than likely forced Rose to become a vampire, how Wooyoung attempted the same for you.

You have no choice.

You glance back at Sejun, his snickers and jabs silent now, wanting for your response. You turn back to Subin, Rose's brother. His expression doesn't give away anything, patiently waiting for you to decide. You close your eyes, ignore how much your chest hurts at even considering it. Pushing through your heart's desire, you nod slowly.

"Okay."

Hongjoong is the first to enter, hands resting against his back. His shoes echo across the hardwood. Though he cannot quite decipher who is in the room with you, he can smell you. And that scent overpowers them all. Yunho and San follow just behind him, blades in hand, coated with poison. Subin has kept to himself for decades now, barely interfering with the others. Your presence has brought them happiness, but has led to this. Not that any of them mind, really. If it meant that they would have you, they’d do anything for it.

“They’re here,” Sejun stands, moving closer to you. “We don’t have time. Remember what we’ve told you?” He asks, fingers wrapping around your bicep. “We are going to die, and you will do everything possible to stop them. Do you understand?”

“They wouldn’t–”

“They would, my dear sister,” Subin says simply, eyes flicking to the door. “I’m quite sad that we were not given the chance to catch up once again, but I do hope if there is some afterlife, I can meet Rose.” His jaw tightens, hands slipping behind his back. “Promise you will rid of them soon.”

You hesitantly nod, and he gives you a small grin back. “Of course, I will have to show them a bit of blood to get them going. It will be quick, y/n. They'll heal you, alright?"

"What–"

Your sentence is cut off by the sharp blade pushed into your stomach. Sejun’s eyes widen as Subin slowly slides it out of you, the pain too overwhelming for you to even utter a sound, falling to your knees. Your hands immediately go to the cut, gasps falling from your lips as you turn down to look at it. He pushed it in deep, the blood spilling down your shirt quickly, staining the hardwood floors. He throws his arm back too quick for you to prepare, his fist landing against your cheek.

Sejun’s eyes burn into Subin’s. “You idiot–”

The door is thrown open, Sejun backing away from the two of you as they enter. You can't quite concentrate on what's happening, the sounds of murder happening around you. Shouting and screaming, bones breaking, the smell of blood filling the air. Sejun is thrown down next to you. Several cuts covering his skin, brown blood spilling from his wounds. He coughs, grabbing one of your hands. Forcing you to focus on his words.

"Kill them," his grip on your hand is tight. You can barely see his eyes through the blood covering his face, his hold growing weaker as the seconds pass. "Kill them and you'll finally be free."

Blood splatters in your eyes, covering your face just as he finishes his words. Hongjoong from just behind you drives the stick deeper into his chest, grunting the more force he puts into it.

Your vision blurs as you stare at the blackened blood dripping down your hand, disappearing beneath your sleeve. This was never something that you wanted, despite it being in their plan. Sejun was not supposed to die. You do not doubt that he's done things to Rose in the past, things lost to you. But he's helped since you've spoken to him. It's silly to be upset about his death, but here you are. Staring down at his bloodied body, fingers slowly curling into your palm, hands trembling. Your eyes lift to the murderer, eyes wide as he stares at the body beneath him. He touches his face, smearing his skin with whatever poison he used. The exact one Subin provided for you just moments ago.

"Joong…"

He turns around, expression softening when he sees how distraught you look. His warm fingers brush against your cheek. You wince at the touch as he apologizes for pressing too hard against your skin. His lips press against your forehead, a sorry escaping them. You welcome his touch, sighing as he pulls you against him. His smell encompasses you, your sore wrists aching as you grip his leather coat. He lifts you with ease, your lids too swollen for you to open them. Is it tears? You're not too sure.

The room is quiet. No longer do you hear the crunching of limbs, the muffled screams as they ripped Sejun apart. No. All you can hear is the way your heartbeat throbs in your ear, the breaths of Hongjoong as he guides you out of the room. How foolish of you to believe that you did not need him? That you were so stubborn to see that without him, you would be safe? In the end you're still entrapped in his embrace, softened at the delicate care he does to bring you safely back to his clan, his coven. Your thoughts no longer linger on Sejun, or her brother, or any of the others, in fact.

"I'm sorry," you whisper, the sensitive cuts on your lips tingling as heavy breaths escape. "I should have trusted you." Why are you saying this? Why do the words not feel like your own?

"None of this is your fault," he whispers. "Trusting someone is a difficult task to undertake. Please do not speak anymore until you're able, alright?"

You cough, blood spilling from your lips. His eyes shift to your stomach. Without another word he drags his blade across his arm, lifting your shirt and pressing it against your cut. You gasp, gripping his forearm as he pushes it harshly. He whispers something you don’t bother to understand, holding you close.

The part of you that screamed for you to push him away is silent now. You can only tuck yourself further against him, feel the vibrations of his chest as he hums a song to you. You cannot quite place it, but it feels familiar. He does not begin conversation with you, asking how this happened. Instead he carries you out into the night, holding you close as he enters a car. You hear the soft voice of San speaking to him, their voices low enough that you do not bother straining to listen.

The scene you blocked out suddenly begins to replay in your head. Yunho appeared. You see the glimpse of Seungwoo behind your eyes over and over– when did he arrive? The terrible, garbled scream that left her brother– Subin’s, chest. The sickening sounds of him dying. Did Rose hear this often? How was she able to handle it; the carnage, the smell, the sounds? They only seem to roll on a tape over and over again in your mind.

"What can I do?"

You know he's speaking to you, lips dry as you run your tongue over the cracks, the metal taste coating your tongue. "Nothing." Time passing is only making your head spin. Where's Hongjoong? When did the car start moving? Will you ever see your family again?

"...Okay," San says simply. Hongjoong must have left some time ago, the hum of the car is the only sound around you. "I can't lose you again." His voice is softer. You force an eye open. His fingers are curled around the steering wheel, body rigid. His eyes flick to the rearview often, fingers fidgeting. You're not too sure what your relationship with him is – he's avoided you for weeks now. Now though, you can see how he thinks he cares for you, worry coating his face. His shirt is stained just like the others. Did he kill? Was it Seungwoo? Sejun? Subin? It's all a blur to you now.

How could you pretend to care for any of them when you want to run away? "You will," you respond, lids heavy. "You have already."

"Is there nothing I can do–"

"Yes, there's nothing." Why lie? Why continue the lies that they've started? There is not a moment where you could look at any of them and feel some sort of happiness. "You've lied."

"Rose."

"And you've never called me by my name despite me desperately asking for it, San. You've treated me like the woman you've once loved since we met, and you expect me to love you back? You don't see me." Your throat hurts as you speak to him, but you've wanted to let it out. Show him how it feels to be treated like her. "Let's no longer pretend that you do."

He does not respond. You tuck your legs further into your body. You told him you wouldn't lie, but why does it feel like you are? Why the fuck do you care so much about these men that could give two shits about you? To the point that they're slowly carving you into Rose, a woman that despised their very being? And why are you so desperate for them to see you as yourself, as a human woman completely disconnected from your prior life? Have you so deeply involved yourself that you need their love, their affection? Is that why you've fallen for many of them so easily?

How the hell did that wound on your stomach heal so fast?

"I'm sorry, y/n."

What you find behind San's door shouldn't be as surprising as it is. His bed is in pieces, wooden beams scattered across the floors, sheets ripped into throwaway fabrics, pillow feathers floating around the room. Most furniture is destroyed. You take slow steps into the room, hand resting on the edge of the only intact piece: his desk. Fear slowly swallows you as you read the notes you see. Your name is written over and over. Neat in the beginning, slowly losing legibility as it goes on. By the end of the page the characters are mixed together, blood staining the page, paper punctured from how hard he pressed. One line is written clearly at the top of the page.

I will say your name, y/n.

It's been a couple of days since you've gotten back from your kidnapping, from that massacre in the backrooms of Clair de Lune. The smell of death still hasn't left your nose. It's the first time you've left your room, the men leaving your food outside of it, avoiding you in the hallways if you decided to leave. You would thank them under different circumstances, but now you know it's only because they don't want you to ever leave them.

Which bears the question on exactly why you haven't left yet. The blatant warnings are there. Wooyoung was legitimately poisoning you slowly. Many of the others must have known about it. So why are you still here? Why can't you make yourself leave?

Why does it feel like you can't?

"Are you alright?"

You glance at the door, Mingi and Seonghwa standing there. Mingi's arms rest against his chest, a slight limp as he enters. He still has not fully healed from the basement incident, though he looks healthier in complexion. Especially in comparison to you.

"He left," Mingi glances at Seonghwa, eyes flicking back to yours. "For a walk."

"Did the captain tell him to?" You ask, and Mingi shakes his head.

"He left on his own. As you can see," Mingi gestures to the surrounding area. "He's been a bit distraught since you've come back home. He thought leaving would help his mind settle. Mellow out for a while. Yeosang joined him."

"Yeosang?" Is that why you haven't seen him? You presumed that he was avoiding you, but it seems to be the opposite. Yeosang is the only one you could tolerate being around without getting upset, and now he's gone.

"He deals with San during these moments the best. Everyone agreed that he should join him to keep him in check. They shouldn't be gone for too long, so no need to worry."

Worrying is all that you do; especially for them.

But you only acknowledge his words with a quick nod, hands lingering on the edge of the desk. You have not seen Hongjoong either, though it is probably due to your insistence on not allowing him to enter your room. The others begged and pleaded for you to give him a chance – but how could you? His half promises and lack of care for your well-being has left you numb. Before meeting them, you were sure with your emotions, your feelings. Now you only feel like a shell of yourself. You rub your face, ignoring the two men watching as you go through your emotions.

“What will we do now, then?” your eyes shift to the side, noticing that Mingi left already. Strange how quiet a man of his size can be.

Seonghwa slowly moves into the room, arms resting against his chest. “Shall we have a meeting when they come back? I know that you still want to leave, so we can speak about it—”

“Seonghwa,” You lean against the table, wincing as your hip brushes against the wood. His eyebrows furrow as he glances at your hip, only for you to wave him off. “We’ve done enough talking to last a thousand lifetimes.” With how effortlessly Sejun manipulated you into thinking he was truly Seonghwa, there’s little doubt that one of the guys wouldn’t be able to persuade you to stay. Especially with the way he’s looking at you now. No wonder Rose fell for them with ease. It hurts you to even say the words.

“I’m sorry,” his voice is softer, eyes glued to the wooden floors. “I wasn’t here when he took you away. I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault,” you shake your head. “I should have noticed it wasn’t you from the start. The words you were saying were a bit…” Cheesy? Out of character? Overwhelming for the moment? Now that you think back to Sejun practically begging on his knees, his eyes were not his. They were a deeper brown. Seonghwa rarely, if ever, showed his brown eyes to you. Only in public, never in private. The truth was right in front of you, but you were too overcome with the events that passed to even recognize it.

“Did he speak poetry?” Seonghwa’s lip lifts, a smirk forming. “Sejun used to make fun of me often for my verbiage. I think he referred to it as having a stick up my ass.” You place your hand over your mouth, a laugh escaping. Seonghwa’s grin widens, light chuckles leaving his lips. “And now you laugh because you find it to be true.”

“It’s not… well, you do speak a bit proper sometimes. I just assumed it was because of your past. From a prestigious family?”

His eyes widen briefly, lips finally curving into a full smile. “Rose assumed the same of me when we first met. Maybe I do need to loosen my lips a bit more,” he sighs. “But nevertheless, I am apologetic."

He easily slides past the question about his family, but you let him have it. It’s not like you exactly overshare when it comes to yours. A knock on the door pulls you out of your thoughts, Hongjoong lingering in the doorway. Seonghwa moves to the side, sending you a quick look before departing. Hongjoong remains unchanged from the night they found you. Your blood still stains his clothing, hair tousled, eyes red. He looks like he’s worse off in comparison to you. Just as Hongjoong begins to speak, you interrupt.

“Thank you.”

Your words stun him momentarily, raised hand falling to his side. You could almost smile at his shocked expression if you weren’t so exhausted. You hold your hand against the bandage covering your stomach. It’s barely scabbed over, blood still coating the gauze.

“Thank you for saving me,” you say again. “It’s more than what I’ve asked for but thank you. I’m not sure if I would have survived another day.” It’s very likely that you would have, especially with Sejun there. But stroking his ego might somewhat increase your chances to come out of this place alive. Vampirism isn’t something you exactly dreamed of undergoing.

“You’re not furious with me?” He asks his question slowly, eyes glued to your face. “Not in the slightest?”

“Why would I be angry at you for what Sejun and Subin did?” At least this part is somewhat true.

He swallows slowly, eyes flicking between yours. Just as a sigh of relief escapes your lips as he turns on his heels to the door, he shuts it behind him. "Did Sejun ever explain the reasoning as to why we separated?"

You shake your head, slowly sinking down into the stool in front of San's dresser. His face changes as he simmers in his thoughts.

"Sejun was supposed to watch her," Hongjoong's words almost feel desperate as he speaks to you, pacing around the ottoman. He stops in front of the bed, running his fingers through his hair, thinking. He seems to steady himself as he wraps his hand around one of the bed's pillars. "Rose. It was supposed to be brief but our ship needed maintenance so we stayed away a few months longer. That's when he wooed her, made her fall in love. It was my fault. When he arrived back on ship he told me all of his tales were false. I thought it was to get close to her brother. But when Rose appeared in front of me and told me of his sins, I could not take it," his grip on the pillars hardened, eyes narrowing. The concerned man he just showed you disappears in that instant. It only frightens you how easily he can turn his emotions. You sink further into the stool.

"I tore him from limb to limb, I let the others watch. I thought that was the end of it, no one could survive something like that, not even a vampire. His body was burned and thrown into the sea. So seeing him standing in that shop, none of it made any sense. It still doesn't. It is a pity that I was filled with so much rage I did not get the chance to ask."

He lets a sigh escape him, "And I allowed him into our home, allowed him to take you."

Your brows furrow. "No one knew he took me–"

He holds up his hand, "I knew. Do you think I do not know everything that goes on? Though I was mistaken and presumed he was himself, not disguised as Seonghwa to lure you. If any of us were there we would have seen through his shadow self. But it's harder for humans to."

The realization sinks into you slowly. You knew you were not safe with any of them, especially with him. But hearing him actually say it, express it–

“I allowed him to take you because you told us you did not need us. That you were okay on your own. And I wanted to honor your wishes so I let it happen. And you saved yourself, did you not? You allowed us to kill him with ease, Ro– y/n!" He smiles at you, true joy lining his features. "You saved yourself without our help, we just cleaned the mess."

Your eyes flick between his. "You let him take me. He brought me to Subin who almost killed me, and you let him take me.”

"You said you did not need saving, my sea. I let you make your own choices."

"Being kidnapped is not a choice, Hongjoong! If it were any of you I would have tried to help, not watch you be taken. Do you hear yourself? Do you?" You straighten your back, anger slowly rising. "I know you're mad, but this is beyond what I expected."

He tsks, wiggling his index finger as he silences you. "No no, this is exactly what you should expect. You do not want us involved with your affairs. You want to leave. I'm not going to go against your word when you insist on it being followed."

“Oh my God,” you rub your face, “What am I doing here? Why did I let you take me back here? This isn’t like me, I’d never do anything like this,” You stop speaking, turning your eyes to him. He keeps his small smile on his face, watching your breakdown. Elated at the way he’s affecting you. Hongjoong does not care. He never has no matter how much he proclaims it. There’s no remorse, not a hint of regret. “You want me to depend on you when you let me go?”

“You wanted it.”

“Hongjoong.”

He moves closer to you, hands covering yours. You try to pull from his grip but it only tightens.

“You fucking wanted it, Cassia,” His eyes widen, a laugh escaping his lips. It seems like he’s detached from himself, words spilling from his lips. “You wanted me to go away so I let you. I let you fucking leave me, leave me alone. What am I to do? I was so desperate for you. Everyone in the village wanted you but you looked at me. You told me you needed space to grow, to breathe. You looked me in my eyes and said that you wanted to be with me forever but you needed time. So I let you go, I let you follow that asshole monk. How was I to know what was going to happen? How could I guess what he would do?”

He moves closer to you, not noticing how frozen you are. His hand slowly reaches up, cupping your cheek. “I killed him for you, I let his blood run the streets. I burned down the monastery for you. I gutted those terrible parents of yours, those friends that never loved you. The village that always made fun of you, called you a whore because they were envious of your beauty. And you cursed me, you damned me. Why would you do that? I did it all for you, for your adoration, for your love, and you pushed me away? You let me become as I am now. I love you, I’ve always loved you. I’m here now, can’t you see? I’m showing you that I will do anything for you, kill anyone for you. Do you not understand this?”

He moved away, pressing his hands on his temples, eyes widening, red streaks falling down his cheeks. He claws at his face, hysterical laughs escaping him. “I will kill him. I will kill them all for you. I let you love them before me and this is what I am repaid for? Your hatred as payment for loving you with everything that I have? We can be happy if you let us. If you see what I will do for you.”

His eyes flick to you, horror filling them when he sees how frightened you look, how you’ve pulled your legs close, arms wrapped around them. Flinching when he meets your gaze. He swallows, licking his lips as he stands. “I will, I’ll be back. One of the others can watch you while I’m gone, okay? Okay, C– my sea?”

He does not wait for your response, turning on his heel, the door swinging open. With his quick pace he does not seem to notice the others just outside the door, deep in his own thoughts as he disappears down the hallway. You blink quickly, still tense as a few of the others enter. A hand touches your shoulder and you flinch. You look up, meeting the gaze of worried San, a small smile on his lips.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

“Steady, hold it steady.”

Your fingers dig into his shoulders as you winch, staring at him slowly stitching up the wound. Somewhere in between your conversation with Hongjoong, the stitches broke open. Though you insisted on a hospital rather than an unsterile, small room, they heard none of it. Especially Yeosang, his soft eyes filled with fear when he saw you. He mustered up the best smile he could before leaving you alone. It’s unlike him to check up on your condition; he asked Wooyoung and Jongho plenty of times just outside the door when they thought you were asleep. Your mind moves to Hongjoong, immediately pushing the thought away just as it comes. Breaking that moment down in your mind will only lead to more madness. The one thing you cannot afford to fall into right now.

“Pretty?” San nudges you slightly, pulling you from your thoughts. Your look at him, noting the bruised lip, the dried slit in his brow. Yours furrow looking at him, swallowing slowly. They saved you again and all you have to show for it is anger, resistance. How much longer could you last pushing them away when all they’ve done is help you?

“You worry me,” he speaks again, slowly wrapping your torso with gauze. “That distant look you get. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Confessing that you don’t deserve their kindness is far from what you want. So you let your head rest against his shoulder, exhaling. “Sometimes I wish you were human.” You say simply, promptly regretting the words just as they leave your mouth.

You can feel him tense under your touch, hesitating in his wrapping briefly. “I like who I am now.”

“I know.”

“And if given the chance again, I wouldn’t change it. This is who, what, I want to be."

“I know, you don’t have to explain it to me. I just let lingering thoughts escape, that’s all.”

He sighs, “No no, I didn’t mean to sound angry, you don't need to apologize."

He rips off a piece of medical tape and lining it up with your bandages. “It’s all I’ve known, pretty. I cannot imagine myself being as I was before. I was scrawnier, smaller. More fearful of the world. My life before Hongjoong was not the greatest. My family was killed because I couldn’t protect them, because I was not strong enough to. But now that I can, I can be of assistance to all of you. It’s what I’ve always sought, and I can’t go back to being a human. I can’t be feeble again.” His eyes flick to yours, softening when they meet your eyes. “I love you too much to see you hurt, pretty. If there were something stronger for me to become, I would choose it without a second thought. I hope you won't try to convince me otherwise.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to do something you don’t want to, San. Please understand that,” you squeeze his arm. “You’re in control of your life, not me. I can’t force you to abide by my whims. If you want to be like this, I’m not stopping you.”

“Not stopping me – does that mean you won’t accept it anyway?” His words are tight. “You will still leave?”

“If you were a human I’d leave anyway,” you whisper, not daring to meet his eyes. “I never belonged here. If any of us were to become something, I need space. I need a place to go where I can be alone. My room isn’t enough for me.” And run away, you think. You promised Subin you’d kill them, but how could you? Especially with the way he alone is looking at you. Your empathy is endless to the point that you hate it, but it’s not unreasonable to know you can’t hurt people.

A part of you wonders what Rose would do right now. How she’d react to your choices. Is she yelling in her grave right now, telling you that everything you’re doing is bringing you closer to death? Or is she assured that you’re safe in their arms, complimenting you on your choices thus far? There’s so many possibilities, and you’re still not sure what happened back then. All you know is someone in this house turned her into a vampire. And that’s very likely the reason why she wanted to kill them all. You felt her pain, her fear in the brief visions. The cold touch of death when she turned.

You never want to experience it yourself.

“I wish I could convince you otherwise,” he whispers, securing your gauze. “But I won’t make that mistake again. I just hope that you’ll miss us enough to come back home.”

“San-”

“You don’t need to explain why, because I know,” he waves you off, shaking his head. “I mean, I called you Rose for so long without thinking twice about it. Knowing how you felt about it. I didn’t let myself distinguish between the two of you because of my selfishness. I didn’t want to let her go. Accepting that Rose is gone,” he stops in his words. “I don’t think any of us have properly mourned her death. Maybe Yunho or Mingi, but not really. Not truly. The last person to visit her grave was Jongho, and that was decades ago. I’m sorry that I let it go on for so long, and I’m sorry I took your feelings for granted. I think it’ll be hard, but I hope that one day you’ll forgive me, y/n.” He says your name with emphasis, eyes flicking between yours. “Just as I love you.”

"Do you love me?"

His voice cracks at the last word. It's the second time in a day that he's asked. You jokingly replied sure earlier, and he laughed it off. But now, his hands are gripping the bottom of your shirt. Looking up at you from your knees. Eyes flicking between yours, waiting for an answer.

You hear the sentence over and over again in your head. Do you love him? Do you love any of them? Or are you trying to become someone they once knew? Their rose, their sea. The one woman in their life that they lost. It irks you, not knowing if your feelings are true. Or their desperation makes you believe each word that they say. You want to say it, you do. You want him to be assured that you love him, to be secure in his feelings for you. But the word just doesn't want to fall from your lips. So instead of saying it, you hand brushes just beneath his chin. Stroking the soft skin beneath your fingertips.

You lean forward, lips lightly touching his. You hold restraint, but of course, he cannot. He presses his lips against yours, and you kiss him hard. Although his face is swollen with tears and lips are chapped from licking them often, he kisses you.

And you kiss him back.

"Love me," he says between breaths, pulling you down from the edge of the bed. His hands rest beneath your body as you fall to the floor, his body towering over yours, pulling you closer. "Love me," he whispers, fingers digging into your sides as he holds you.

"And what will that do?" You ask, your lips parting from his. Your breaths are heavy, chests rising and falling as you meet his gaze. "What if I say no?"

"I have waited for you for hundreds of years, pretty. I can handle a few more without it. Just please don't tell me to go. I will bear the pain of you not saying it back, but please do not let me go. Remaining unwanted is one thing, but never seeing you again would be the greatest torture I would endure in my endless years."

His words hit you directly in the heart. You hold his face, staring at him. “I cannot promise anything, San. The future is too uncertain for me to say that.”

"Would you say it if I beg?" San moves away from you, slowly sliding down your body. His lips trail along the outline of you before resting at your feet. You lean up, brows furrowed. His hands slowly wrap around your waist, gripping your hips.

"San–"

"Please," His fingers dig into your skin. Not enough to break it, but keeps you where you are. Eyes on him. "I'd do anything for you, y/n. Anything you want."

You rise from the sheets, head throbbing. It was a dream. Of course it was a dream, why would you think otherwise? You swing your legs over the side of the bed, slowly standing. Your side aches as you push open the door. It must be early in the morning, the light seeping through the curtains as you make your way down the hallway. Slow is an overstatement, you’re shuffling. San secured the gauze tight enough for you to sleep comfortably, but moving? Not so much.

The kitchen is empty. The pile of peaches that often greet you is gone, replaced with a sealed box of dried fruits. You ignore it entirely, slowly sinking into the stool at the island. You haven’t had glimpses of the past at all, not even for a brief moment. In the beginning you hated being put into someone else’s body, but now? You wish you could be given something, anything. An assurance that staying here for the moment is a wise idea, or completely terrible.

You lift up your shirt, glancing at the wrapping. It's stained with blood already. Ah, maybe you moved around in your sleep more than you thought.

A cough distracts you.

You turn, tensing.

"Hi–"

"Leave," you interrupt him, glancing at the box in the center of the island. "Please."

"y/n–"

"Please Wooyoung, please just leave me alone," your voice cracks, fear coursing through you. "If you want me on my knees I'll do it. Please," you shut your eyes, unable to meet his gaze. Because you know, despite it all, despite everything; One look from him will make you weak.

“What’s going on?” Your eyes flick to the entrance, Yunho glancing between the two of you. His eyes narrow as they meet Wooyoung’s, a frown slowly forming on his lips. “You were told to never be alone with her.”

“I needed to speak to her, that’s all. Nothing nefarious.” Wooyoung sighs, his exhale increasing as he watches Yunho come by your side. Confrontation when you’re this exhausted is not uncommon in this home, though you wish that they leave you alone just as the days prior. A part of you is thankful for Yunho’s presence despite it all; if Wooyoung was so easily able to end his friend’s life hundreds of years ago, ending yours right now would be a piece of cake. “Will you never acknowledge any of us? Or are you only enamored by Yeosang just as you were before? Or have you even attempted to?” Mire coats his word, an unmistakable glare in his eyes once you finally meet them.

You snort, slowly standing from the stool. It’s a bit of a struggle, Yunho leaning forward to help, but you push his hands away, gripping the countertop.

“You all assume that every thought of mine is Yeosang. Like all I’ve cared about since I arrived here is Yeosang when it hasn’t been like that at all. I was afraid of him just as I was of all of you. Your assumptions of my own feelings only seem to ease your own faults. I could have cared for you just as I have for Yeosang, Jongho, Mingi even. But your decision to poison me so that I am forced to be with you was something else entirely. So how can you stand there and tell me that I didn’t try when I did? I was slowly trusting you, Wooyoung. You, alone. And you erased it completely by making me ill. This is your doing, not mine. Never was. So how about accepting your fuck-ups instead of trying to pin it on someone else?”

His fists slowly loosen at your words, angry brows furrowing. How someone as smart as him not able to take your words at face value is beyond your own comprehension. But you’ve laid out your feelings as clearly as you could. It’s up to him to decide if he wants to acknowledge them or not.

“You’re saying that you would have accepted me as I am now?”

“I'm saying that I already have, Wooyoung. You are who you are. Who am I to tell you what you can and cannot be? You're a vampire, that's it. I wouldn’t try to make you a human because I want it. And I hoped that none of you would force me to be a vampire, but look at where we are now."

He takes a step closer to you, only for you to move closer to Yunho. Wooyoung’s eyes shift to him before sighing. “I’d rather we speak in private.”

“Walls are thin, Woo. We’d hear it whether or not I’m here,” Yunho shrugs. “And, frankly, I doubt she wants to be alone with you after everything.”

“You don’t speak for her.”

“He’s right,” you interrupt. “I’d rather someone else in the room.”

“Fine! Fine,” he begins to point at you, before slowly lowering his hand. “Everyone makes me out to be the bad guy. Like it is my fault you died when it’s not even close. I was in the back when it happened! I mean,” he rubs his face, glancing at his friend. “You're letting yourself hide behind a man you don't know, one whose had more involvement than me when it comes to Rose’s turning–”

“Enough, Wooyoung.” Yunho says.

“What? Am I not allowed to tell everyone’s misdeeds? Am I supposed to bear them all on my own? Why am I the lone sinner? Why can I not be the one who she can finally trust? Why do I have to hold your burdens as if they are mine?!” His fingers slowly curl into fists. “It's pushed onto me because you all have designated me as this devil, this monster that cannot be cured. y/n,” his eyes move to you. “I’ll admit my mistakes to you. Yeosang knew about me poisoning you, but it was no fault of his own. I'm not sure if the others have told you this, but the vampire that turns you is able to sire you. He cannot resist my commands if I make it so. He wanted to tell you, but he couldn’t. Because of me. Because of my faults.” He shakes his head, his fingers scratching against his scalp. “I’ll take credit for what I have done. But I will not stand here and pretend everything that has gone wrong around here is all because of my decisions. I'm not going to do it anymore, fuck the rest of you."

“y/n,” Yunho lifts your chin to meet his gaze. “If I may ask, could you please find yourself back to your quar–room, your room. Please. I need to speak with him for a moment.”

You swallow slowly, nodding. You don’t catch the quick flicker of fear in Wooyoung’s eyes at Yunho’s words, keeping your gaze low. There’s so much to process, so many words to accept. Your head begins to throb at the thought of trying to. You step around Yunho, slowly leaving the kitchen. But just before you turn the corner, “Thank you, Wooyoung. For finally admitting it.” Your eyes flick to his. “This doesn't mean I forgive you, but it’s a step in the right direction.”

You leave them be, slowly making your way back to your room without food. You aren’t necessarily hungry right now, it was in all honesty just a stroll from your room. You are still a bit annoyed that it was rudely interrupted, but you digress. Your eyes flick to the quick movement just at the end of the hallway, Yeosang disappearing into his room. You sigh.

It is perhaps not the best time to start something with him, but what do you have to lose? You plan on leaving soon, anyway. You slowly shuffle down the hallway, his door slightly ajar just as you make it around the corner. Taking a long breath, you slowly push it with your free hand, entering his room.

“It’s polite to knock,” he notes. He rests on the seat by his balcony window, leg swinging back and forth. He does not turn to you, though you expected as much. The last time he gazed in your eyes was when you first came back. You haven’t seen him since. His hair seems darker now, blond locks fading into a darker brown.

“You were gone with San for a while,” you start, breathing heavily as you shut the door behind it. It gives you some semblance of privacy, though you’re sure everyone in this house is in tune with your conversation.

“To keep him from losing himself,” he says simply, shrugging. “He would have done the same for me.”

You nod slowly, resting against his velvety couch. Though he doesn’t turn to see you struggle, you can see the scowl on his lips, already predicting his next words.

“You should be resting, not wandering around our home. It makes sense that San had to stitch you up once more. He will have to do it again if you don't sit still.”

“That’s a concern for another day.”

“y/n…”

"Why are you avoiding me?"

He runs his fingers through his hair.

"I could have saved you." He looks small. Arms wrapped around himself, gaze to the floor. Body shaking. "I could have saved you from Wooyoung, from Subin, from Sejun. I could have saved you from them all, but I didn't. I let Wooyoung's words have an influence over me, I," He slowly shakes his head. "You could have died."

His head finally lifts. He looks at the bandage wrapped around your calf, your waist, the bruises on your face. The endless wounds that seem to cover every exposed part of your body. He swallows slowly, lips trembling. "I could have saved you from this."

"None of this is your fault."

"You can't keep saying that. You can't keep pulling the blame away from me. I knew he was poisoning you and did nothing to stop it. You should hate me as much as him, if not more. Don't stand there and pretend you don't–"

“He told me.”

“What?” Yeosang stills, gaze still far away.

“Wooyoung. He told me about what he did to you. How he forced you to abide by his every word, his desires. I didn't even ask for his confession, but he gave it willingly without a second thought. I know he’s doing it only to earn my favor and good graces but him mustering up the will to even explain it to me probably earned him some trust. I doubt that I will be able to forgive him, but I do forgive you, Yeosang.”

He starts to shake his head, fingers digging into his scalp. His grip is harsh to the point that you see red staining the blonde, spilling from underneath his hold. “y/n, you should take every word that comes from him with great caution. And you shouldn’t forgive me for what I’ve done. It is utterly sinful.”

"He sounded sincere."

His lips form a scowl. "And that's your first mistake, y/n. Nothing that comes out of his mouth is close to sincere."

"Yeosang, please listen to me," you take a long breath. "I know that if you had the choice you wouldn’t have hidden the poisoning from me.”

"y/n–"

"Am I wrong for assuming this?"

He shakes his head, “That doesn’t matter because I did hide it. I know you want me to be this pillar of goodness, but I'm not that. I will never be that as long as I am the way I am, y/n. You should never trust any word from me.” His gaze finally meets yours across the darkened room. He looks dreadful, exhausted.

“I want you to love me. I am so lonely, my y/n,” his eyes are filled with fear, sorrow. “These hundreds of years have passed and I am still as lonely as I was when Rose died. I want you to love me as I have loved you. I want you to look at me and see me as I am. To need me as desperately as I need you. I need to feel loved, y/n. But because of my tie to my friend, I cannot,” he swallows slowly, eyes flicking between yours. “You will never be able to truly be mine because there is always him. There will always be him."

"I thought my dream of being somewhat normal faded long ago, but ever since your soul appeared in front of us again all of those emotions came back tenfold. I want to be human. I want to go to places with you, court you without having the fear of somehow doing something to me that's out of my control. To watch a sunset with you. I want to love you the way you deserve, I want you to be truly mine. But that will never happen. And for the sins that I’ve committed in the past and up to now, perhaps it is warranted. Perhaps I was never meant to have even the slightest bit of happiness when I was turned into this. All of it doesn’t matter in the end, though. Because the past cannot be changed just under sheer eagerness.”

Yeosang tenses up. He attempts to move but Wooyoung tightens his hold. “I cannot live without my best friend, Yeosang. And Rose says she will no longer love you if you were anything other than human. Shall we test that?”

“Wooyoung.” The words escape your own lips, though you know it’s Rose’s. You can feel the fear in her chest, the worry in her voice. Is this the moment Yeosang was turned?

Wooyoung holds his hand against the edge of the dresser, dragging it across harshly. His wrist begins to bleed as he presses it against Yeosang’s mouth, forcing the blood into it. He gags against his hold, desperately trying to get him to stop. Tears roll down his cheeks, eyes flicking to yours. You’ve never seen his eyes filled with such fear, horror. Regret.

"Stop!" You push against someone’s hold, but it's of no use. Wooyoung grips Yeosang's body, forcing his wrist against his mouth. Crazed eyes hold him close, fingers almost piercing Yeosang's shoulder with how elated he is.

“This is all for you, Rose. We will test that will of yours.”

Cries escape your chest as you fall to your knees, unable to do anything. You soon realize it is Mingi who holds you, continuing his whispering of comforting words to help you calm down, but you only feel your heart breaking. Wooyoung lifts your knife you left on your shelf, stabbing it into Yeosang’s chest. The stress in your body overwhelms you, body shaking as you lose consciousness.

“y/n!” He shakes you again and you’re finally pulled from it, glazed eyes clearing. Yeosang holds your face in his hands, brows furrowed as he stares at you. You aren't sure how much time passed between the vision and now, but he seems nervous as he holds you. “Are you alright? You weren’t here with me-”

“I saw it,” you swallow. You can remember how he once looked, the utter terror in his eyes as Wooyoung held him against his will. Killed him as he grinned at Rose. Yeosang was full of life then, eyes a softer brown, cheeks flushed. Losing his life in mere moments. The sounds only echo in your ears as he holds you, trying to pull you away from those thoughts. His thumb rubs against your cheek, wiping the tear that falls. “I saw you die, Yeosang.”

“It’s alright,” he says softly, pressing his forehead against yours. “You don’t need to let those thoughts worry you. It was so long ago. It no longer affects me.”

“You never asked to be part of this and were forced into it because of him,” You do not say his name, deeming it unnecessary. “How can I pretend I didn’t just see it? No wonder.”

“No wonder what?” he asks softly.

No wonder Rose could not stand any of you any longer. No wonder she killed herself. Seeing the monster that Wooyoung became, it must have broken her. From the other instances he seemed so kind, loving. But in that moment, you could only feel disgust rising in Rose. Hurt.

"No wonder she didn't want to turn," you whisper.

Yeosang sighs. “We all know what happened before when Rose was turned; forcing you into the same position would only lead to another death. I want you to live a long life as do the rest of us, but their definition of life is certainly construed in comparison to mine.” His hand wraps around yours. You’ve noticed that they can easily blend into crowds without lingering looks because they just look pale from a distance, but watching his hand in yours changes your perspective. There is no color in his skin, a dull gray. But still, you lift his hand, pressing your lips against the back of it. His brows lift in silent shock, lips parting. His eyes flick over yours, a small smile slowly forming as he stares at you. “Why would I ask you to lose your warmth when I enjoy the flush of your cheeks?”

You can’t help but roll your eyes at his words, letting your head rest against his chest. “In any other circumstance if a person told me they enjoyed how my blood circulated I’d be a bit creeped out.”

“Very true,” he chuckles along with you, pulling you closer into his chest. “I know my next words will be taken with mirth, but I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive him.”

Which him, he doesn’t say, but you can take a wild guess. You sigh, letting your eyes shut. “Would you be able to forgive so easily in my situation?”

He pauses for a moment, “It took me a few decades to accept him as he is. Forgiveness took a tad bit longer.”

“Define a tad bit.”

“y/n.”

“Yeo.”

He sighs. “… about seventy years.”

“Then I’ll pardon him in forty.”

“y/n,” he repeats again, his voice softer. You frown as you meet his gaze, ignoring the pout of his lips, the lax resting of his eyes- Damnit, could you at least pretend to be resilient against his charm?

“Yeosang, I am not going to forgive someone who almost murdered me. In fact, if I ever decided to become a vampire – which I won’t – “ you notice his eyes lighting up at your words. “I would ignore his very existence for the next five hundred years.”

He purses his lips, thinking. “That’s not too bad.”

“Kang Yeosang!”

He laughs, holding you close to him as you playfully shove against his frame. It’s a losing battle, finally slumping into his arms, ignoring the pain on your side from the awkward position. Yeosang seems to notice though, shifting his hold as he lies back on his bed.

"I won't force you to be something you don't want, y/n. Though my words do not hold as much trust as others, I promise I won't."

None of this is Wooyoung's work. His hands pull you closer to his body, soothened at the warmth of you surrounding him. How could he hate himself for lying to you when he gets this in return? He will feel terrible later, yes. He will hate himself right as you leave his side. But for now he enjoys it. Hums as he tucks his face into the curve of your neck, overjoyed when he hears comforting sounds escaping you. No, if he needed to lie again, he would do it. Just to feel you again.

Consequences be damned.

You nod, closing your eyes. "I know. Did you hear that conversation in the kitchen?"

"Walls are only a figurative barrier in this home."

"That's a yes, then."

"I try not to snoop, but I heard you say my name. It was hard not to pay attention to every word that left your lips. I tried leaving before you caught me, but I was a bit stunned. I didn't know how much you cared for me, y/n. I do not mind being your favorite, though." He chuckles, lips pressed into your hair.

"You're not my favorite," you whine, but his laughs only continue. "Yeosang!"

Yeosang’s words still linger in your head. Forgiving Wooyoung. Would you ever be able to do it? Whenever he sends you smiles, the memory of him killing Yeosang flashes in your head. It’s been hundreds of years, sure, but from what you know that hasn’t exactly changed him. You can’t even look at fruit the same, the boxes on the counter only piling because you’re scared of touching it. In fact, you only allow a few of them to follow you to the market to get food. With great reluctance, of course. Your place is still to leave.

Though you insisted that you'd never stay longer than another week, it's very much past that. Each time you arrive at an interview with expectations you'll be hired, you're rejected. Your friends still ignore your calls. It’s just as Subin and Sejun said - you have no one. All you have is these eight men who don’t truly love you, and who you suspect all want you to themselves one way or another.

“The food in the fridge is expired,” Seonghwa hums, placing a bundle of bananas into the cart. Yunho lingers next to him, hands tucked in his pocket as the three of you walk through the produce. “You’re the only one who eats, it’s not good to let it go to waste.”

“I told you,” you examine the cabbage. “I’m not touching anything any of you buy.”

“You let Seonghwa grab those bananas,” Yunho points out, quickly averting his eyes when you look at him. “Just saying!”

“Well I can tell he didn’t inject it with something strange, so I trust those for now. As long as they stay in my room.”

“Wooyoung isn’t allowed in the kitchen anymore. It’s safe, doe,” Seonghwa notes, following you to the register. “Hongjoong made sure of it.”

“Ah yes, the most trustworthy man in that house,” you snort, rolling your eyes. “No thanks. I’ll let my room turn into a grocery store before I put anything in that kitchen. And,” you look back at the both of them. “I found a place.”

Seonghwa stiffens, Yunho’s smile shifting. It’s strange how you never noticed before - the shifts in their expressions. If you blinked you wouldn’t have noticed Yunho’s smile lessen into more of a scowl, Seonghwa’s body stilling. The more you look at them the more they feel… scary. You’ve experienced this same feeling before, when you first met them. In all honesty you thought you were over it. That you were fine with them being vampires. But in these moments you can see why the stories considered them terrifying. They can so easily become non-human. Unreal. You look away, not wanting to linger on these feelings.

“Seonghwa, actually,” you start, still keeping your eyes forward. “Would you be able to drop off my food in my room? I need to take a trip somewhere.”

He moves in front of your cart, hands gripping the front to stop you in your tracks. His head tilts, brows furrowed. “Where are you going?”

“I’m not leaving, not yet,” you sigh. “And I have all of my things still at the house. Too many important things to just abandon on a whim.”

“y/n-”

“If you want me to trust you,” you glare back at Yunho. “Then let me go for an afternoon. I’ll be back before you know it.”

They both exchange a look. Seonghwa finally lets go of the cart, walking around and nudging you off the handles. You let him take your place, glancing between the two.

“When you get home,” his eyes flick to Yunho. “Tell Hongjoong that we lost you in a crowd. And take this,” he hands you a small bottle. The words are in a foreign language, nothing you can decipher. “Spray this on you several blocks away from our home. In fact, do it when you’re at wherever you’re going. It blocks our senses of your smell. Actually,” Seonghwa takes it from your grasp, spraying it on your neck. “Tell him you found it in your room on the shelf if he finds you with it.”

“This is a bad idea,” Yunho rubs his face, glancing at you. “He will kill us, truly.”

“He won’t when he sees her safe and sound when she comes home later. Right, doe?”

You nod quickly. It’s true, you don’t plan on running away now. Not until you find the truth. The real truth. He sends you a strained smile. “Good. Please get home by eight at night. Yunho and I will be running in just five minutes before telling them that we cannot find you. It will be… overwhelming for that moment, but it’ll be fine. Okay?”

“Okay.”

He leans forward, pressing a light kiss to your forehead. “Then we agree. I will see you soon, my doe.” He grips Yunho’s arm, pulling him along to the register.

The door is open before you enter. She never left it open, always afraid that something would happen while she was gone. And it’s warranted - the city isn’t as safe as it used to be. You slowly enter, a strong smell hitting you as you stand in the doorway. Like chemicals were spilled everywhere, the bleach stinging your nose. You take out your mask and put it on, slowly entering the living area. All of her things are in their places, though thrown about just like it usually is. It is almost eerie how perfectly placed they are - even her favorite magazine, open on a page that she would love to look over.

“Siyoon?” You say, picking up the book. A layer of dust covers it, your hands beginning to shake. She used to complain about the mess of your apartment. She’s the last person that would ever let it get this bad in her own home. You’re sure that she cleans everyday. You grip your phone, dialing her number again. It goes to voicemail just like before. “This isn’t funny, Siyoon,” you say, opening her room door.

Her clothing is thrown all over, as if she were in a rush to leave. Drawers thrown open, old makeup cracked on the floor. Spilled and dry, staining the hardwood. Was she afraid of something? Why would she leave so quickly? Your eyes flick to her phone on the dresser. You quickly pick it up, pressing the power button. A zero flashes at you before turning off again. You take it, tucking it in your pocket. Though this isn’t exactly what you pictured, you just hope that she’s okay. Whatever spooked her though, especially leaving without all of her things - what the hell happened?

And why can’t you get rid of the feeling that deep down, you know who was responsible?

“You let her out of your sight? What the fuck were you thinking?”

Hongjoong’s voice rings through the home as you step inside, shutting the door behind you. Just as the click echoes, everyone is at the entrance way. You furrow your brows as you meet their frightened eyes, sighing. “Don’t overreact-”

“Why would you disappear like that? We thought-” Jongho trails off, swallowing.

“I’m a fucking grown woman, I can do what I want,” you step around their bodies, glancing at Yunho and Seonghwa briefly. Their gazes are blank, though Seonghwa’s brighter, eyes softening when they rest on yours. You send him a quick smile as well, “Seonghwa? Were you able to finish shopping?”

“I left them in your room, my doe.”

“...Can you help me put them away, then?”

He nods quickly, stepping around everyone else. You can see the venom in their eyes as you ignore everyone else, your hand slowly sliding into Seonghwa’s, leading him down the hallway. Siyoon’s phone feels heavy in your pocket as you do so. You hope that whatever you find leads you to what happened. And despite all the arrows pointing to who obviously made her run away - you wish it wasn't them.

Seonghwa quietly helps you place your things in your makeshift cupboard and drawers, humming as he does so. You place your phone on your dresser along with Siyoon's delicately in your side table when he turns his back.

"I'm glad you're safe. And I'm happy you came back," He doesn't elaborate on his words. "I really am, doe. And I know you don't truly trust any of us really, but thank you for trusting me enough to safely bring your food home."

You nod, looking at him through your mirror. He leans against the opposing wall, staring at you. Your eyes meet in the mirror. Though you really had no time to dwell on it, they're all handsome. You're not ugly, far from it in your mind, but their beauty is intimidating. Having their attention on you had somehow lessened your confidence – though before them you already had plenty – being the driving object of their affections is frightening. You wonder if they look at you and see you, or see Rose. And if she is the temptress they say she was, and identical to you, well that's just another can of worms to dig through.

"We haven't known each other for long, but I can tell when you're overthinking. That distant look in your eyes. Whatever it is, you can say it. I'll answer it confidently."

"It's not a question, just an observation," you shrug, sitting on the edge of your bed. Seonghwa sits next to you, planting himself at the small chair just a meter or so away from you. "No need to look so serious, Hwa," you roll your eyes.

"The look told me otherwise."

"Rose was beautiful," you start, and he nods, though he looks confused.

"As are you."

"What I mean," you struggle with your words. Why is it so hard to speak? Each time one of them is in front of you it's like your words are restrained, harder to describe. "I'm not half as confident as she was. Not anymore. She and I are not the same people. I just don't understand how you could care for me half as much as her–"

"Doe," he shakes his head. "I belong to you."

"I don't want you to. You’re your own person, Seonghwa. How could you not understand that?"

"You must misunderstand my words," he shifts the chair closer to you. "I belong to you, y/n. It is my choice to say these words. Your soul is what I love. I want you to accept me as yours, because in my mind I am already. And I deeply desire for you to be mine even though I know it will never be," his lips tremble as he looks at you. "I hope that our days will no longer be filled with turmoil. It feels as if we haven't had a day of calamity for such a long time."

"Who's fault is that?" It's rhetorical, but he answers it anyway.

"Ours. It is our fault. It is mine as much as it is the other's."

You close your eyes and take a long breath. How could you be brave when he expresses himself with such raw emotion? Your heart oftentimes wavers in his presence. There's no real explanation; whether it be emotions unbeknownst to you from the past, or what you feel now. He just brings out a soft spot within you that you forget. And you hate it. You hate that your own self betrays you, makes you look past everything that has happened. His blatant begging for you should disgust you when you know of their obsession. You know that one of them killed Rose. And you know that none of them did anything to stop it. So why can you only look at him with… love?

"You don't belong to me," you repeat softly, less sure of your words. "I don't want you to belong to me."

"Anything you want–"

"Stop saying that," you look at him, holding back your tears as you meet his watery one's. "Don't look at me like that, Hwa. Don't do that to me."

"y/n–"

"I can't talk to you when you look at me like that," you admit, covering your face. "Fucking Hell, I can't do this anymore."

His cool touch brushes against your skin, slowly pulling your hands away. He presses his lips against the back of them, eyes fluttering. "Don't hide yourself from me."

"I…" You trail off, watching as he presses his lips against your wrist, kissing each fingertip. Your breath hitches as his teeth grazes against the skin of your thumb. "Seonghwa–"

"I love you, y/n," he whispers softly, holding your hands against his face. The red darkened, heavy as he takes in your face. "I won't ever stop."

He moves closer to you, thumb rubbing your cheek slowly. You're not too sure who leans first, but you feel the shudder of his breath against yours. His hands holding your head steady, tongues dragging across one another's, filling the silence. Your heart beats against your eardrums, hands gripping your pants as he holds you close.

"Wait," he pulls away, licking his lips. "I don't want you to think of me as a horrible man. I'm not trying to push your emotions to the side because I can't help myself."

You nod, grip loosening against your pants, "It was too much."

He laughs, shaking his head, "Too much? My pretty doe, it's never enough when it comes to you. But I don't want to rush things. I want the both of us to care for each other fully. Despite the urges," he closes his eyes briefly. "I am still a gentleman."

"You and Rose? Did you ever…?"

His lip curves into a small smile, shaking his head, "Despite my endless yearning and waiting, the only place I ever expressed my love for her was her lips. She told me that my love for her was too great, that it would be devastating if we did anything more. Not to her, but to me."

"Did you believe her?"

He nods slowly, "Rose was the only love of my long life, but I was not hers. And I didn't mind it, no, but she knew my feelings. She knew that I would break if she told me how she truly felt about me. I was thankful that she pushed me away at the time. As I am thankful that I was able to do it now," he admits, eyes roaming over yours. "You don't love me the way I love you. It would be a mistake to let it go further."

You rub your face. He's right, just as he always is. You let the moment get the best of you. Seonghwa has often been your weak point just as Yeosang. "Then can you stay?"

"Stay?"

"Tonight with me? I don't know, I…" Siyoon's apartment is still lingering in the back of your mind. If he's here, maybe you'll be able to ignore it. Ignore the phone in your drawer, the mystery hidden behind the darkened screen. "I need someone to stay tonight."

He doesn't question further, does not investigate. Instead he presses his lips to your forehead and leaves to shower. Soon enough he's back in the room, sliding beneath the sheets with you. Pulling you close against his chest, lips resting against the curve of your neck.

You can't quite remember how much time passed. All you can do is stare at yourself.

Broken.

You touch the bruise on your lips, the darkened skin beneath your eyes, discoloration on your skin. Watch as his hand slowly drags along your skin, wrapping around the curve of your shoulder, lips pressed against the space behind your ear. His low hums, lids opening to meet your gaze in the mirror. The deep scarlet of his irises, slow smirk of his lips as he breaths against you. You look utterly ruined, tiredness dripping from the reflection. And yet here he is. Staring at you with adoration, desire, care. He stares at the broken figure of you and loves it. Your tongue drags across your lips, blinks quick.

"You can look at that reflection and still love her?" You whisper. He moves his lips from your skin, resting his chin lightly on your shoulder. His head leans into yours, cheek creasing as he nods.

"How could I not?"

"I don't look like myself," You look dead. The light in your eyes is barely there anymore. Perhaps this is what they've wanted. The scars and cuts on your body aren't exactly his fault, though you've never looked like this before meeting all of them. "I look like I've been run over by a truck."

"You were stabbed y/n, I think giving yourself a bit of leeway would do wonders."

Though he isn't wrong in the slightest, keeping your gaze on the reflection only seems to darken your thoughts. You watch as his hand rests opposite from where his head is, thumb tracing your beauty marks. He keeps his eyes on yours, softening when he sees how moist your eyes are. Without another word, his hand turns your head to him. You look away from the mirror reluctantly, meeting his gaze.

"Do you believe these eyes of mine are lying?" He's never looked more sure than he does now. "Doe, so much has happened to you. The one man you could count on isn't here. We all know that."

You've never said how much you care for Yeosang, but it seems to be more obvious than you realized. Your feelings for Jongho were pretty equal with your feelings for Yeosang, but this dread each time you look at him just won't go away. Yeosang never had a choice, but Jongho did. All of them did.

"You love him more than the rest of us." It's not a question. And surprisingly he doesn't look angry as he says it. "It's hard."

"I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, "Love is never something to apologize for."

“I don’t know why I do,” you start. “I’m not one to believe in past lives influencing current ones but there’s always been a tie to him. He is one of the reasons why it’s so hard to not stay,” you admit, ignoring Seonghwa’s burning gaze in the mirror. “When he left it felt like I needed to go too. But now that he’s back, it just feels-”

“Like you can’t leave?” He asks, and you slowly nod. Seonghwa doesn’t say anything else, his fingers slowly folding into yours. You let him guide you back into the bed. Though that was the end of the conversation, your thoughts still consume you.

There is this constant thought that everything you say will be used against you. Hongjoong does it often, his sneer and quick glances, taking in your words to remind you of them later. Yunho does it as well, though a bit more secretive. You can’t quite figure out the others. None of this changes your stance though. You’ve told them you were leaving. Yeosang be damned. You’re not going home, the reminder from Sejun that your family wouldn’t be safe. But it’s scary to think that once you leave, you have nowhere to go. Visiting old friends is not what you’d like to do either – they will be the ones hurt in the end. All in all, it seems that in all, it seems that you only have them. Just them.

The thought makes you queasy.

Seonghwa seems to feel the shift of your emotions, the arm wrapped around your torso tightening, pulling you closer. You shiver at his cool arm resting against your stomach, lids heavy. If only you knew what was coming tomorrow, you would have left that night.

If only you knew of the terrors of the coming days.

Mingi is the one to break the news.

You’re sitting on the grass in the backyard, notebook in hand as you brainstorm where exactly you’re going after leaving. Yunho’s the first to step outside, a strained smile on his lips as he nods, immediately giving you his back as he starts up his bike. Soon after, one or two of them trickle outside to seemingly random spots. Hongjoong rests against the opening to the outside door, hands against his chest. You aren’t keen on the idea of all of them surrounding you in some way, gripping your notebook tightly as you glance between them. Mingi is the first to move from his spot (he’s been sitting on the lower roof lately), landing on the ground and slowly walking over to you.

“Who died?” You ask just as he begins to speak. His eyes flick to Hongjoong, before landing on yours. “Ah, are we playing another guessing game?”

“Well…” He rubs the back of his neck. “Yeosang’s gone.”

You roll your eyes, attention back on your notebook. “I never said I wanted to participate in them.”

“No, doe,” Seonghwa appears on the side of you, a small smile on his lips. Since that night the two of you have grown closer. Most of your time is spent by yourself, and the remainder, he usually seeks you out. You don’t mind it, he’s quiet most of the time, enjoying the silence along with you. This expression on his face, though. Worry is never a good look. “Yeosang left. He won’t be coming back.”

Your brows furrow, looking to Hongjoong. “What did you do?”

He only sighs, shaking his head. “You love to blame me for others, don’t you?”

“Who else is there to blame? Yeosang wouldn’t leave on his own accord, not like that. Not without-” You.

You swallow. “He wouldn’t.”

“He wouldn’t, and yet he did. Pitiful,” Hongjoong sighs, shaking his head. “I was quite enjoying his presence around here. Made everyone else tolerable.”

“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa sighs, shaking his head. “Not the best time for jokes.”

“Who said I was joking?”

You stand up from your spot, ignoring Seonghwa’s lingering touch on your shoulder as you move closer to Hongjoong. You haven’t spoken to him since the incident, and in fact you’d rather not speak to him at all, but Yeosang left. And there’s only two people who would make him do it. Hongjoong, the prideful captain himself, or …

“Wooyoung made him go?” You ask.

Hongjoong says nothing. You turn around, noticing that conveniently, said man is nowhere to be found. A warm hand touches yours and you immediately step away from him, seething.

“Come with me to dinner and I’ll show you.”

You scoff, “No.”

He rolls his eyes, shrugging. “Then I suppose you’ll never know where your dear Yeosang went off to. And thus, I plead for you not to come to me and complain and whine, but I’m sure you will. It’s what you do best.” He shrugs, a slow smirk forming on his lips.

“Does no one else know?”

“Unfortunately, I’m the only one. It’s a captain’s duty to know where his crew is at all times, my sea.”

“You’re insufferable,” you rub your face, thinking. He waits patiently for a response. There isn’t any point in pretending; you’ll have to go to this dinner with him whether you like it or not. “If I go, you’ll tell me? No tricks, Hongjoong?”

“None at all, beautiful,” his grin only widens. “I’ll see you tonight.”

You balance the chopsticks between your fingers, blatantly ignoring the stare down from the man in front of you. You only agreed to this to learn of Yeosang’s whereabouts, and perhaps – ignoring all of the red flags, hoping to see him. Taking Hongjoong’s invitation to a private dinner is the last thing that you ever wanted but here you are. Dining across from a mad man.

You reach for the garlic bread, Hongjoong pushing the basket closer to you.

"You could have just told me where he is and leave out all of this," you say, thanking the waiter as he places the plate in front of you. It's pasta all'amatriciana; Hongjoong insisted that you'd enjoy it. He had nothing for himself of course, tending to a bit of red wine.

He takes a sip, lips resting on the edge of the glass. He uses his free hand to gesture to the food. You would scowl but it's best not to get on his bad side for now. You take a bite, holding in your shock. It's probably the best pasta you've ever had.

"You needn't hide it, my sea, I can see it in your eyes. Good, right?" His tongue drags along the glass. You look away.

"So Yeosang?"

"He's gone. He won't be back anytime soon. Sorry to disappoint."

"Was it his choice?" Your voice is low. The last thing you expected was for him to leave you alone with them. Especially with your last conversation. Yeosang didn't give you any signs of wanting to go. "Or did someone decide for him?"

“It will get cold if you continue to stare so feverously,” his eyes flick to the plate in front of you. “What will you do, stab me with a fork?”

“It’s useless because iron doesn’t hurt you,” you sigh, taking another bite. The restaurant is filled with patrons, all couples from ranges of ages dining. Places like this have never been your cup of tea. Most guests appear pretentious, noses held high, words not used in everyday language falling from their lips. Harsh words to the waiters just doing their jobs. Many moaning and groaning at how delicious a salad with a sprinkle of salt tastes. Hongjoong bringing you here only solidifies that he doesn’t really know you. You’d never enjoy a place like this in your life.

“Your face is an open book,” he grins, taking another sip. “I’ve brought you here for a reason.”

“You’re ignoring my questions, so I don’t really care-“

“Oh, but I think you will once I explain it to you."

You sigh, "Hard to believe. Pretty sure you just dragged me out here for yourself."

"You lack trust," he shrugs. "Why would I bring the one I love to a place without meaning behind it?"

You take another bite. "Nothing has changed over the hundreds of years that have passed. All reincarnations of me, you either risked your livelihood or killed theirs along the way. You will so easily die for love. Does that not terrify you? Willing to give up yourself for a fickle love?" You meet his eyes. "Hongjoong, how do you think this will end? Have you truly deluded yourself into thinking we will be together? That I will fall at your feet, and finally look at you with care?"

He pauses for a moment.

"Loving you less is not possible, my sea. Our souls meeting over and over again like this is no coincidence. I never sought you out, you always came to me. We did not find each other by accident."

"That I agree with," you choose your next words carefully. "But have you ever considered that my soul sought out yours for healing? Because from what you've said and what I know, my soul has only suffered in your presence. If you truly cherished me you would let me go."

His lip quirks.

"Is it so hard to love me? Is it so impossible that you will not even consider the thought? Attempt at merely liking me? Is it so difficult for even a brief moment to look at me and think that there is a part of me that you adore, that you see as worthy of your attention? Can you possibly gaze upon me and see that my love for you is never ending, everlasting. I know that you will never love me as desperately as I do you, but can you not try?" Though you can only see the white of his eyes, his words oddly resonate within you. If it were another life, if you met him under different circumstances, there would have been a chance. A moment where you could look at him and think, well, he could be someone you love. Even now, you care for him in a sick and unreasonable way. But is it love? No.

Hongjoong is not a person you can ever love.

"If you wanted me to love you, you would have let me go long ago, Hongjoong," you say simply, sinking deeper into the seat. Oddly relaxing despite the circumstances. "Perhaps then I would have."

His mind wanders for a moment as he takes in your words. He desperately wanted to be wanted, to have him be the only though in the forefront of your mind, to have only him as the one you desired, you loved. Hongjoong’s plan was not for you to spend time with all of them, no. He wanted you so entrapped in his lure that you would not care if the others were there or not. He wanted you so deluded, that you would not even notice that they were gone in the first place. He does not quite know how much longer he can last, knowing you're just out of his grasp.

That is why he brought you here.

"You desperately want to know where your Yeosang has gone. You see,” He adjusts himself in his seat, eyes flicking over the tables surrounding the two of you. “All of these people in this room were invited personally. You’re surrounded by presidents of the largest companies; CFOs, CEOs, CMOs… all of the horrendously affluent figureheads in our country. They’ve all partaken in some sort of black-market scheme, or invested in a medication that is more lethal than a snake’s venom. They believe this dinner was a congratulations on selling one million doses of death across the globe. It is anything but,” his eyes move to yours. “Yeosang is here to kill them all.”

You tense, eyes widening. “What?“ He places his hand on yours, nudging his head in a different direction. You turn around to follow where he points.

Yeosang holds a glass in his hands, the silhouette of his suit blending into the decorative curtains just behind him. His eyes seem distant, jaw tight. The red seems to be burning each time someone passes him by, the grip on his cup only tightening. He wears a suit like everyone else in the crowd, blending in with ease. If Hongjoong didn't point him out you're sure you wouldn't have noticed him in the room at all.

“He has always been this martyr in your eyes. This pillar of good. Sure, this is a great deed to mankind; killing every single human in this room will save millions. But do they not deserve trials? There are guests here that are just innocents, accompanied by the true sinners. Of course, he doesn’t care for that, because he'd rather a few guiltless people’s lives be lost than seeing these other dejected souls plant their seeds of hatred and greed another day.”

You try to stand but Hongjoong is quicker, stepping behind you before you can blink, forcing your body back into the seat. He rests his head on your shoulder, lips just a brush away from your ears. He presses his hand against your mouth. “When he loses himself in his own thoughts he becomes this way. Detached. Uncaring of human life once he set a goal in his mind. He locked the doors already, y/n. He will start from the back since it gives the people closest to the front less warning of what's happening. Let us watch the one you love do his self assigned duty.”

It happens too fast for your eyes to watch. He starts from the far end of the restaurant as Hongjoong said. You aren’t sure how he’s doing it, until you see each person grip their necks, choking. He’s quick, moving from table to table, never lingering. The music is too loud in the room for people to take notice, laughing and enjoying their time as people die around them. Blood spills across tables, splattering on the white tablecloths.

“It’s a massacre,” you whisper, too shocked to look away. You wonder if he’s even noticed the two of you.

“It’s a revelation,” Hongjoong grins, laughing as the heads hit the silverware. Slowly people begin to notice, murmurs amongst the crowd as he continues his path. Your gaze moves to the table he's coming upon. There sits a small family, a child laughing with their parents as they eat. He seems unfazed by the patrons, expression mute as he makes his way. Hongjoong’s hand falls from your lips, giving you an opportunity to speak.

“Yeosang!”

He stills in his movements, head immediately moving to where you sit. The emotionless expression shifts to horror, gaze flicking over yours, as if you aren’t truly there. So it is as you suspected - he never knew you were in the room. Would he have even cared if he did?

“I’ll let you have a moment with him. Unfortunately, I have to finish the job. No witnesses,” he shrugs, leaving you alone at the table as you stare at Yeosang across the room. He drops the knife from his hand, steps hurried. You stand up from your spot, body shaking as he moves closer.

Yeosang is just like the others. It was foolish to think otherwise. Rose was right in her words – they are monsters, and there’s nothing you can do to stop them. Even Yeosang, the sweet man who wooed you beyond simple words, is just like the rest of them. You try to back away but he uses his speed against you. Hands wrapping around your arms as he stares at you. You look down, the blood staining his fingers rubbing off on your shirt. Surrounded by it often should have numbed your senses. But it is as it was before, your stomach turning. He holds your face in his hands, brows furrowed as he meets yours. You flinch at his thumb rubbing against your cheek.

"You weren't supposed to see me like this, pretty," he whispers, eyes flicking to your lips. He traces the outline, humming softly. "You were supposed to be home."

If it's fear holding you back from speaking you don't dwell on it. His head tilts, sucking in a breath. "Say something to me. Tell me."

You were never able to resist his charm, even now. Your hands rise, covering his. He shivers at how hot yours are, even as you pull them off your face. You take a step back, the screams rising in volume. People around you are desperate to escape; Cries of children. the sounds of gargling, choking, Hongjoong swiftly killing each and every person. You hold your hands over your ears, crouching into a ball as the sounds just seem to grow louder and louder. The cool touch of his makes you tense and he immediately pulls away.

"I…" You stop in your own words, glass breaking. Sobs continue to drake your body. They're killers. They kill. It's so foolish of you to think otherwise.

He crouched down next to you, "Rose–"

He stills.

"I was a fool," you whisper, swallowing slowly. "I'm a fool, aren't I?"

"No. No. It was a slip of the tongue, y/n. I swear it. I know you, I know there's a difference."

“How about you go back home, Yeosang? We have important things to discuss.”

You don’t dare look Yeosang in the eyes again, afraid that what you might see will only hurt you more. You’re not too sure when he left, but the room has suddenly become quiet. You look up.

Hongjoong’s tongue drags across his skin. An almost giddy, joyful expression crosses his gaze– absolutism, resolved, accomplished. How someone can hold pure glee inside of them as they lick off the blood of the person they killed is beyond you. His burning gaze reaches yours. Hungry. Satisfied. The gaze of a man who knows he has won. He drops the last body from his hands, the thump echoing in your ears through the ringing. He steps over the other bodies, kicking some of them on his slow stroll to you.

You crumble. There is no use for it, that you know. You could run to the ends of the Earth and he will find you with ease. No matter what words you say to reject him he merely takes it as motivation to continue, another obstacle to overcome. You could spend your last breath telling him how much you hate him and he will only guffaw. The question you have is silly, obscene even. But you must know. You must know to determine what your next steps will be.

"Will you ever let me go?"

He stops less than a foot away from you, smiling. It's a horrid expression to look back at, lips curled back, eyes widened to the point of being disturbing to gaze upon. He tilts his head the same way he always does, fingers curled around the wooden handle. The irises of his eyes slowly glaze over, red replaced with an iridescent white. He crouches down, lifting your chin with the blunt end of his knife.

"There is not a place you will go where I will not find you, my sea. If there were a chance you'd attempt to get away, I will only appear by your side again and again and again," he pressed his cheek against yours, a low hum. "Why would you want to leave me? You can have anything you desire when you stay."

When. Not if.

"And if I am to die?"

"Oh no," he moves away from you, bottom lip poking out, hand cupping your face. His knife is steady as he rubs his thumb against your cheek. "Your soul is mine. If you die, I will only find you again. Why do through the torture of us doing this all over, when you can just accept it as it is?"

"You've waited hundreds–"

He sighs loudly, "And I will wait more. I will not die. And as long as I am here, you will be. That is just how the fates decide."

He hooks his arm beneath yours, lifting you with ease. "Now let us go home. The others are waiting for you."

His warm lips press against your forehead. Your eyes are wide open as he pushes the bodies to the slide. The blood staining his clothing soaks into yours. He doesn't seem to care though, humming that eerily familiar tune again. It is the opposite of comforting. But you let your body relax in his arms.

You let him take you back home.

---

tags: @revehosh @mrcarrots @belletiny @sansblkgirlfriend @hwadump @honeyedtalisman @atzcoke @glitterhongjoong @whatudowhennooneseesyou @marievllr-abg @arkive78 @dysftopia @kpopnightingale @wxnderingthoughts @jenniee-tm @hongshines @atinytease @multidreams-and-desires @yla-aira @wommypeaches @avantalem @youre-a-wallflower-charlie @toxicccred @xciiiomwliah @madelinelina @kirooz @a-tiny-teez @tenebrisirae @ageofjade @n0v4t33z @yoongiigolden @jonghoharibo @fl0r4f4wn @gh0stbish @kodsukein @vitrealislux @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @spiderrenjunfics @aeoliannie @tannie13 @leeknowsalot @xshansimsx @seojonneh @shingene @justconniez @mingi-banana @anushka-k @nightmarej1n @watamotee33 @dear-dreamie @the-ghostest-with-the-mostest @jaxavance @malyxsoulpersonal @az-con @charreddonuts @beautysirens @sunukissed @lixpixstix

#fic: clair de lune #ateez x reader #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #yeosang x reader #san x reader #mingi x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez smut #ateez fluff #ateez yandere

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huihuiheart · 2 years

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Under the Stars - Do Hanse

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Victon Masterlist

Pairing: Camboy! Hanse x Cam! Afab Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Summary: Everyone has certain needs, but in his world of money and lust Hanse surely didn’t need love. Or so he was convinced until he paired up with you.

Warnings: Camboy/camgirl themes, masturbation, Hanse is a little bit mean (in only the best of ways I have problems okay), some teasing sexual and verbal, some manhandling, dom/sub themes, oral (fem receiving), rough sex, fingering, protected sex, some cum play (cum eating), dirty talk, degradation, cursing, sex toys, overstimulation, crying, a little pain, squirting, praise, dirty talk, use of the terms doll and sweetheart, drooling.

Word Count: 5395

Hanse’s brow was raised, continuing to silently sip on his glass of whiskey as he listened to Sejun speak as both a friend and manager. He’d been listening to the man rattle off this plan for the past half hour at this point and frankly he was running out of ways to rephrase his suggestion. It almost pained Hanse to watch at this point...almost, but then again if he was going to suggest what he did Hanse was gonna let him suffer just a little for it. Eventually however, enough was enough, Hanse sighs and puts the glass down.

“You know I like to work alone, Sejun, so why are you asking?” Hanse asks, arms crossing over his chest as he watches nonchalantly as Sejun huffs, arms dropping dramatically to his sides.

“Please Hanse, she needs to catch a break. She’s good, she’s just stuck in the early phase. The one where its only the same old creeps every time. Just help her build a bit of a rep that’s all I ask. She could really use it.” Sejun practically begs and while it wasn’t really Hanse’s thing he couldn’t really say no to his friend like this.

“Send me her profile. I’m not agreeing to anything, but I’ll take a look at her at least.” Hanse concedes at least that much, getting his friend to back off slightly for the time being, “Why are you so invested in her though?”

“She’s my newest client!” Sejun beams, “Well I guess I should say she’s my second client considering before it was just you.”

“What? Did I not pay well enough? Cause if that’s the real issue I can fix that.” Hanse offers still somewhat looking for a way out, to no avail.

“No. No, nothing like that. I just wanted to start branching out some and she seemed like the perfect person. Like I said though she needs help getting out there. Come on Hanse, consider it a favor to me.” Sejun’s comments make Hanse roll his eyes, mumbling something about how he never should have hired his friend.

“Hey I said I’d look at her profile or whatever. Get off my ass and I’ll think about it. I’m not making any promises though.” Hanse tries to wave him off again, but with Sejun it seems as though that’s rather pointless as he thanks the man as if he’d already fully agreed to any and everything.

Still Hanse had agreed to take a look at your profile and so he would. At the very least he might be able to lend you some advice through his friend and perhaps be enough to end Sejun’s begging even if he didn’t quite agree. Sejun had sent the link, all he had to do now was click around the familiar website to take in all the various aspects of your profile while savoring his whiskey as he did any night off...and a few on.

He had to hand it to you, for someone so new your profile was very well put together. Though perhaps Sejun had helped you with that as well. Between saying and showing just enough to tease to interacting with the right amount, and even scheduling things when you should expect a decent amount of traction your profile looked good. Which did peak the man’s curiosity...why weren’t you getting more attention? Scrolling through posts he weeded through pictures of lingerie, toys, aesthetic images, and even kinky texts to find an image of your body. Sucking a breath in through his teeth as he brought his glass up again, throat suddenly running dry. You were gorgeous, breathtaking even, so there was no reason in hell or on earth itself you shouldn’t be drowning in followers or even notice. Yet, he hadn’t heard or seen you anywhere. Which only left him one last thing to check, a stream. He pulled up a recording of a past stream of yours to see if perhaps there was something about being on camera that you couldn’t nail down, only to find nothing yet again. Falling back in his chair with a huff, noticing that he had started to grow hard even. Something that he often had much more control over by this point, that fact speaking volumes about you. He was stumped though, not knowing what advice to give his friend. Hanse pulls his phone out with a sigh knowing he might just regret this, but pulls up his friend’s name anyway to send him a text.

Hanse: Go ahead and send her my profile. Shoot the idea by her. If she’s down then we’ll MEET. This whole thing is going to be on my terms though and my terms only.

Sejun: Of course! I already talked to her about connecting her to someone though, she seems down, but I’ll send your profile her way.

Hanse shakes his head deciding to go distract himself from the possible regrettable decision he just made before he could overthink it too much. Meanwhile you were getting a late night email from Sejun, your newest helper and manager. Noticing how he talks up his friend and client Hanse, including his profile and the potential to work together soon even. Sure you had been onboard with Sejun’s suggestion, trusting him completely on that. Yet now you suddenly felt nervous over the fact there was a potential option for that. Still, you decided to open the link and take a look for yourself.

Your first thought is shock, more in the sense that his presence seems to be the polar opposite of yours. Not that that necessarily means anything, being on cam is about putting on a show whether it’s truly you or not. Still the man was breathtaking and looked like trouble compared to your more sweet, innocent image. When Sejun had suggested it you expected another person with a soft image, not that you were complaining by any means. No, in fact, maybe you should thank him for this. Perhaps mixing some trouble in was exactly what you needed. At the very least it could get you some attention. Though this man’s screaming presence of danger was doing anything but scare you off, only enticing you more.

Y/N: Sejun, set up the meeting. You have my schedule and all. Just don’t let me meet me alone in a back alley or something creepy. Cause I might actually agree to do some questionable shit in the presence of that man.

Sejun: I told you! See I know what you like better than you even do! You can trust me though, I wouldn’t suggest him if I thought you’d be in any real danger. Though I will warn, he might be a little...mean.

Y/N: Mean can be hot... if it’s in the right way. Either way I’ll meet with him and if it’s not something I can handle then we’ll call it off. I trust you though. 😊

You hadn’t lied to Sejun about your trust in him. Still, the way butterflies were going every which way in your gut right now over just the thoughts of what this man might be like had you nervous. As if you were fawning over your first high school crush and scared to lose your virginity to him or something, utterly ridiculous kind of nervous. Especially for a camgirl. This was a business meeting goddamn it, between two working and professional adults. Very attractive adults mind you, but that shouldn’t be enough to have you restless through the night. Logical reasoning didn’t seem to win out this time though and so your eyes drifted over to your bedside table, pulling out a vibrator and finding the perfect video off that profile to pair with it. Even if you and him didn’t enter a business relationship, you were quite thoroughly fucked, this man would be your new addiction. Especially if you slept this well after getting off to his videos was more than just a one time thing.

Sejun wasted no time in coordinating arrangements between you two, making a group chat to send out date, time, and location. Letting you both finally get each other’s name. Though your heart stopped for a moment when Hanse got adamant in the group chat that he would meet you alone without Sejun’s pushy personality there to be any sort of outside influence. Instead that you’d both fill him in once you had met and talked one on one. You still trusted that Sejun wouldn’t put you in danger and that if anything did happen he would come running at the simplest of texts, but that didn’t mean you weren’t anxious over the thought of meeting Hanse like this.

Stepping into the hotel you and Hanse were planning to meet in you knew there was no going back now. Picking up your key from the front desk and making your way up to the room, opening it to silence and so you had to will your voice into working and speak up. Not that it entirely kept the nervous tremble out of it.

“Hello? Hanse, are you here?” You question as you shut the door behind you and glance around as you start to step in.

“I am. Just getting comfortable. Don’t be shy.” Hanse calls from deep inside the room, giving you a direction to go towards only to stop in your tracks when you actually see him.

Hanse was lounging back on the couch in the room, letting the setting sun cast in through the window and over his bare skin. Chest and legs bare and tattoos on display with simply a blanket haphazardly thrown over his lap. A glass of whiskey in hand as he raises a brow at your stunned form, snickering around the rim of the glass as he brings it up for another sip before holding it up in gesture.

“Would you like a glass? You seem... tense.” He offers picking up on your body language rather easily and trying to ease you into this setting. Even if he wasn’t necessarily all that interested in having anything to do with you he had no intentions of being cruel.

“Slightly... more so stunned than otherwise. A glass might help though, you’re right.” You agree with a small nod, watching as the man languidly begins to move again. Gasping softly, yet not enough to go unheard it seemed, when he stands and the blanket falls to show that he had nothing on at all.

“Stunned? And why is that?” The shit eating grin on Hanse’s face showed he wasn’t entirely clueless to the reason why, but his ego wanted to hear you say it. Watching closely as he poured you a glass wondering if he was going to scare you away like this.

“I didn’t quite expect you to be so...forward.” You admit, feeling as if your skin was burning as you reached out to take the glass from him. As hot as you felt in this moment however, you weren’t going anywhere, not until you saw this through.

“I assumed you did your research and so there would be no reason to hide anything. So why not be fully comfortable?” Hanse shrugs as he takes his seat again, not bothering to put the blanket back over himself this time however, “Besides, I’m a very blunt, forward person. Is that going to be a problem?”

You shake your head, taking a gulp of the whiskey and letting it burn down your throat and hopefully kick in as you will yourself to go sit on the couch along with him, just at a bit of a distance still.

“It’s not. Blunt can be good, you know where you stand. I like that. Besides I had no idea at all what to expect, so I probably would have been shocked no matter what.” You out yourself slightly, causing Hanse to chuckle. He had to admit though you were handling all of this better than he expected.

“Well I had some time to settle and get comfortable. I’ll let you have the same. You tell me when you’re ready and then we’ll talk business.” He extends the courtesy to you, watching as you remove your jacket and shoes, moving to somewhat mirror his stance and lay back a little bit.

“I’m fine, we can go ahead and talk now.” You assure him, hearing how he hums the glass and finding that even that is attractive. Even if now is not the time to be getting turned on, not that he was helping that with his appearance currently. You were proud of how well you had done focusing on his face however.

“So I know what Sejun had said, but the reason I wanted to get you alone was to ask you what you’re really expecting from this if we were to work together? Don’t bullshit me either, I’ll know.” Hanse watches you closely as you sip the drink before leaning your head against the back of the couch.

“Because I’m tired of seemingly wasting my time. I’m not miserable camming, but like doing anything long enough without really being appreciated takes a toll. Especially when the whole point it to be noticed.” You respond with a shrug, “I’m not a quitter don’t get me wrong, but it was starting to get to me. So if I’m going to keep doing this then I need to do it right. That’s what I want to get from this. Maybe neither of us ever shows in the other’s videos, but if you can just help me with advice or anything so I know I’m actually doing this shit right...then that’s what I want.”

“You’re not just here to make money getting your back blown?” He can’t help but to tease watching you almost choke in shock at his question, despite picking up on how genuine you seemed to be, “Seriously though, advice or assistance I can do easily. Perhaps even a collaboration, I’d just like to make sure you and I are on the same page though.”

“Of course. I’m fine with that too. I just know that just because someone shows it all off on the internet doesn’t mean they wanna fuck someone they don’t really know.” You take a turn at speaking bluntly now causing Hanse to raise a brow before setting down his glass as he finishes his drink.

“I mean I’m a rather sexual person and I figured I wasn’t the only one with needs so why not make some money off it. After all... I’m not exactly shy.” He snickers holding his hand out to take your glass as well when he notices you’re finished.

“Don’t we all. I do wonder though...and if this is too personal feel free to pass up an answer, I just don’t know anyone else who cams to ask. Does it ever get lonely? I mean I’ve been single a long time and this covers those needs, but I can’t image its an easy thing for someone to accept when you start dating them.” Your question catches Hanse off guard for a moment, looking over you for a moment as if to gauge if you had hidden reasons for asking.

When he doesn’t pick up on anything he decides to humor you with an answer after the honesty you’ve given him so far, “No. Well not to me anyways. I’m not for all that mushy, gushy, love shit. I gave it a try and learned that it’s a lie. A way for people to manipulate and take advantage of each other and I refuse to be naïve enough to believe in it anymore. I find other ways to care for my needs and between that and having friends my life is complete.”

Hanse sighs, noticing your stunned expression again, the way you blink over at him wide eyed in response. Your face falls slightly, almost becoming a puppy dog face and he shakes his head slightly not waiting for you to speak up again before he does.

“Don’t tell me you believe in that fairytale love story shit. Why would you need any of that crap?” Hanse crosses his arms watching your expression fall further, almost feeling perhaps he had been a little too harsh with his words when it seems as if you might cry.

“I mean I don’t need it. I don’t have it now and I’m living life just fine and happy... that doesn’t stop me from wanting it though. If that’s not for you then fine, live like that. It’s not for me though.” You speak softly, enough so that Hanse realizes he did overstep slightly, but not enough to make you cry.

“Fair enough.” He backs down, not sure why he cares if your feelings were to be hurt by his view, but finding that he does, “Would you like to talk about anything else? Or should I go ahead and update Sejun? I’ll show you the email before I send it so you can confirm.”

“That’s fine. If we think of anything else we can shoot a text or meet up again.” You agree, Hanse picking up on how you still seem to shrink back some now that you’ve grown quiet in response yet letting it be. Who was he to care anyways? He didn’t know you that well. Besides, it was probably just a physical response to finding you attractive and not his problem.

Hanse drafting up an email to Sejun outlining what the two of you had briefly talked about in terms of an agreement, handing you the laptop after to allow you to look over it and make adjustments as you saw fit before he sent it off. Allowing a moment of silence to settle for a moment before deciding to take a chance, wanting to test something out and see if that was just a physical response.

“You know... the room is booked for the whole night so we might as well make use of it don’t you think?” Hanse’s inquiry makes you pause, staring at him for a moment to see if maybe you were understanding incorrectly or not.

“And just what are you implying Hanse?” You raise a brow at him causing him to lean into your space with a deep chuckle.

“What do you think? After all, I said I was a sexual person. Plus we both agreed we’re not opposed to working together like that and we’re attractive, so why not consider this a chance for a test run?” Hanse plops down on the edge of the bed now, leaning back onto his palms as he watches your reaction.

Your actions contradicting as you shake your head, but move close to him, “I can’t believe I’m about to agree to this when you just fucking insulted me the way you did.”

“What? You want me to make it up to you now?” He can’t help but be smug as he looks up at you when you step between his legs, “Give me ten minutes and I bet you won’t even remember your name, let alone anything you’d have to be mad at me over.”

“Oh is that so? And what if I said I don’t believe you? You might know how to cam, but that doesn’t mean you know how to fuck. Who says you even know your way around a woman?” You seem to strike a nerve, which may have slightly been the point so as to get him back a little bit for his earlier attack towards you.

Hanse growls under his breath, though whether it was a remark towards you or simply a sound of irritation you couldn’t decipher as he instantly reaches to pull your top off. Fully intending to follow through on the light hearted promise he made more just messing around, but now a matter of pride due to your challenge. Your pants are quick to follow, it crosses your mind for a fraction of a second that perhaps Hanse had some intention of this all along seeing as how he had been naked from the start. Not that the man in question leaves you anytime to ponder over that. Hanse stands while his hands grip at your hips, quickly swapping your positions so that you’re on the bed with him standing now. Shoving you back onto the bed a tad harsh, a bit from irritation as his pride acts up, but also due to knowing that as you fall back no harm will come with the bed behind you.

Hanse’s hands moving down from your hips to your legs, fingertips just barely grazing over the flesh before firmly gripping your knees. He spreads your legs, eyes focusing in on your clothed cunt. Getting down on his knees he leans in closer, hands pressing up your inner thighs and spreading you out as much as he could, not wanting to leave you any room to move away as he places a kiss to your panties. Pressing his tongue flat against your entrance letting it sit there as saliva pools and mixes with your arousal to form a wet patch rather quickly. Hanse moves to slowly drag his tongue up then only stopping again once he gets to your clit, letting the fabric grow damp before wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking, the sensation overwhelming you for a minute. You’re suddenly very grateful that he had taken a second before doing that as even the wet fabric rubbed against your clit slightly rough. Not that you thought you should expect anything different from the little you did know about Hanse. His tongue pressing against the bud while it’s still trapped in his mouth, putting more pressure before swirling around it for a minute. Pulling away with a pop as he looks up at you moving one hand away from your thigh and holding it out to you.

“Give me your hand.” He requests leaning his head against your thigh as he waits for you to listen. You raise a brow not sure what he was wanted, but reaching out anyways letting him guide your hand between your legs, having you pull your panties aside. “Stay just like that. Out of my way.”

Without waiting another second his mouth is on you again, tongue teasing your entrance before curling in as he watches your reactions. He presses closer with each movement, his nose brushing against your clit and when it makes you cry out, fingers tightening around your panties to not reach out and tug at your hair he grins against you. Deciding that while he was planning on breaking you down as quickly as possible he could tease just a hair when he noticed what you liked, making sure you knew just how good he could treat you. Pressing into you a little firmer before shaking his head and moaning against you when you tense up as a result.

“Cum on my tongue sweetheart, you know you want to. Don’t worry, I won’t stop not until you’re shaking.” Hanse’s voice is almost gentle in comparison to his actions as he mumbles them against your core, the vibrations from each word spoken deeply causing a sharp spike of pleasure to shoot up your spine. Arching for him in effect, free hand reaching up by your head to grip at the sheets as your moans increase in volume.

Part of you hated giving in so easily to him, but you were so ill-prepared for how good he’d actually be that you were helpless to the pleasure he drowned you in now. Hanse knew just how to pull the string tight and make it snap so quickly it seemed as if he didn’t even have to try. Pulling back once you cum, just enough to stand though. He pushes away the hand gripping your panties replacing it with his and forcefully pulling them down your legs before taking his place between them again. His grin shit eating as he looks down into your glazed over eyes.

“Look at how pliant you are for me. Talking all this shit just to be a good girl the second someone touches your slutty little cunt, huh?” He toys with you licking over his middle two fingers before slipping them down and into your cunt with one smooth motion. When he curls them just right to make you arch again, withering in sensitivity his other hand slips under your back to unclasp your bra. “And you thought I wouldn’t know how to treat a woman. Are you eating your words now baby?”

“F-Fuck you Hanse!” You grit out between clenched teeth, he knows it’s not from anger however, but instead you trying to hold back your sounds.

“Oh you will sweetheart, when I feel like it though.” Hanse chuckles, fingers pulling out and teasingly pinching at your clit before he walks away to go get a condom from the bedside table, tossing a wand vibrator besides you as well making you gasp.

“You fucker! You fucking planned this didn’t you?” Your tone is breathy, eyes widening at him in disbelief as he simply shrugs, rolling the condom on.

“I wouldn’t say planned, but I wanted to be hopefully prepared in case it were to.” He admits, thumb moving to rub your clit and line himself up. He hesitates, however, due to the way his heart stutters looking into your eyes when they glaze over with lust and pleasure again. Not sure why his chest suddenly felt tighter than his pants would have in this situation, yet he almost felt panicked at the thought of looking into your eyes right now. So he wouldn’t, playing it off instead as he flips you over onto your stomach, feet hitting the floor as you bend over the edge of the bed.

He teases his tip through your folds as he leans over you, reaching for the vibrator he had tossed besides you earlier, clicking it on and placing it into your hand before guiding that to your clit as he slowly pushes in inch by delicious fucking inch, “I’m going to fucking break you doll. Fuck you so good you’ll be begging me to do shows with you ever night from now on.”

You were already falling apart beneath him before he even moved, Hanse’s free hand gripping at your hair and pressing your face further into the sheets when you moan out so loud that they might be hearing from the hotel for noise. Not that he cared much, but perhaps you had dignity to spare. The thought making him question his motives yet again, after all, why the fuck did he care?

“Please.” Your choked out sob caught his attention, leaning down to catch a glimpse of the tears glittering in your eyes and he swore he almost busted right then despite the amount of control he’d built over the last few years.

“This doesn’t work like that doll. You gotta speak up, tell me what you want sweetheart. Be good enough and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be nice and actually give it to you before I get what I want.” He mocked as if you didn’t both want the same thing in this moment.

“Please move Hanse. Fuck! Please, I’m begging. I want you to fuck me so hard I can’t barely walk out this room. Fuck me so well my body commits it to memory.” Your tone of voice along with the way your hips wiggle just slightly convinces him enough, and while typically he’d be the type to punish someone for this you were being too good right now for him to care. No, he’d have all the time to mold you into his perfect little submissive on camera later. For now this was enough for him.

His hips started moving quick and hard, drilling your hips into the bed with each thrust. Hitting deep enough that just the slightly twinge of pain sounded in through the ringing pleasure, something you found yourself loving though. Each roll of his hips making your free hand claw at the sheets as you felt a high rush towards you quicker than you thought was possible to stop even if everything else did in this moment. Hanse noticed too, feeling you getting impossibly tighter around him.

“Let go doll, but don’t move the toy away. You’re going to give me one more before we’re done, like the good girl you are for me now.” His tone softens with you, seeing the way you seem to shatter beneath him, leaning down to kiss your temple, something he never did. The action seemed to be what set you right off though, Hanse praising you through it, “There you go. You’re so perfect when you cum on my cock for me. Give me one more doll.”

Hanse reaches down to slip his fingers between yours when he notices you clawing at the sheet again, gripping onto your hand tightly while his face stays close to yours watching how you’re drooling now. His free hand sliding over yours on the vibrator again, noticing how it trembles along with your thighs and wanting to make sure you’re soaking up every ounce of possible pleasure right to the very end.

“Come on sweetheart, cum for me again. I’m about to cum too, but you first.” He watches you nod blindly, cumming around him with a gush of wetness squirting around his cock and he pulls out leaving the vibrator there until he’s drained every drop from you. He’s quick to toss it away so as not to hurt you, not knowing your limits quite yet. His condom goes next, pumping his cock a few times before he’s cumming hot ribbons across your back and ass making you twitch at the sudden feeling.

Hanse shudders at the sight before pulling it together again, well mostly. He can’t help but lean down though, tongue licking over your form and scooping up his cum. He gently cradles your neck, guiding you into a kiss in your dazed state, kissing you deeply to share his cum with you. Feeling pride swell in his chest for some reason when you swallow.

“There’s a good girl. Stay here and take deep breaths. I’ll be right back.” Hanse assures you taking note of your whiny nature and going to get a warm washcloth along with a water bottle. Coming back to look over you, while he wasn’t emotional he wasn’t heartless especially not with someone who submitted to him. Taking note of how it seemed you had subbed out a bit at this point and using cleaning you with a few scattered kisses as a way of assessing how far you had dropped and helping start to ease you back.

Hanse wraps a good blanket around you before carrying you to the couch, giving you the water and bringing the snack box from the other side of the room so you could get what you wanted while he changed most the ruined sheets with the spares he had requested due to “getting cold”, as if it wasn’t going to be obvious what you both were up to. Carrying you back to bed and tucking you in before getting under the covers with you, watching you snuggle into his side and blinking owlishly.

“Hey...you with me?” Hanse questions softly, running his fingers through your hair and gently working out some knots from earlier. “What’s your name sweetheart?”

You take a moment to respond before humming softly, “Y/N.”

“Good job, and do you know where you are right now?” He pushed a little further, not wanting you to sleep until he was sure how you were doing.

“Yeah... hotel with you, getting the best dick of my life.” You mumble against his side causing him to chuckle as his grin returns.

“Perfect. Get some sleep now, you did amazing doll.” He watches as you almost immediately pass out realizing that didn’t give him any of the answers he was hoping for. In fact, if anything he seemed to have even more questions now.

One thing seemed for certain however, if he stuck around you he would be well and truly fucked. If you were going to fuck him up though...then he sure as hell would return the favor.

To be continued....

#kinktober 2022 #victon smut #victon x reader #victon hanse smut #victon hanse x reader #hanse smut #hanse x reader #do hanse smut #do hanse x reader #victon angst #hanse angst #do hanse angst #victon fluff #hanse fluff #do hanse fluff

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motherofpolyamory · 11 months

Text

Roleplay Request. ꕥ

Hi there!

I’m looking for a literate roleplay partner (long term or not, I’ll let the chemistry between us decide that).

First thing you should know about my writing preference is that my face claims are mostly k-pop idols or korean/japanese/thai actors and I am kind of attracted to the same taste in characters. BUT! I’m also pretty accepting and welcoming to new faces with interesting backgrounds if we manage to establish a nice way of communication between us. I’m interested in bxb interactions and connections, since I don’t do straight couples.

I’m here to explore a lot of captivating ideas and work on many, many plots; I’m attracted to drama, dark romance/forbidden romance, slice of life, real life plots, I can do fluff, I can do smut as well and I can definitely work with angst. I’m not good with supernatural elements, werewolves, zombies, etc.

I can come up with ideas for the both of us, or we can work on the plot together and contribute with tons of ideas and theories for our characters. I’d love to have my characters fall in love with yours, honestly, so... let’s make it possible together! ♥

If this caught your interest enough, like this post and I’ll slide into your DM’s and we can discuss each other’s rules and wishes. <3

Here’s the list with my muses (for now):

HONG JOSHUA (seventeen)

YOON JEONGHAN (seventeen)

XU MINGHAO (seventeen)

CHOI YEONJUN (txt)

LEE MINHO (stray kids)

LIM SEJUN (victon)

KIM HONGJOONG (ateez)

KANG YEOSANG (ateez)

APO NATTAWIN (porsche from kinnporsche)

JEFF SATUR (kim from kinnporsche)

NET SIRAPHOP (king from bed friend)

BOSS CHAIKAMON (payu from love in the air)

KENTO YAMAZAKI (arisu from alice in borderland)

HAKKEN RYOU (_hakkencoser_)

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malereaderpage · 2 years

Text

like u || lim sejun

► switch sejun, switch male reader

► smut, cursing, public sex, unprotected sex, over stimulation multiple rounds.

you let out a gasp as sejun thrusts into you. "f-faster, p-please sejun." his grip on your ass tightens as he groans, you let out a whimper. the both of you are currently in a public bathroom. it has gotten dark. you and the rest of the members has just finished with a photoshoot, the both of you snuk away to the bathroom and sejun locked the door. he has you currently bend over, your upper body resting on the counter of the sink, sejun pounding into you from behind. only your pants and boxer briefs has been removed.

he stops thrusting and leans forward, his face close to your ear. "if i go any faster, you'll be a moaning mess and the rest will hear us," he says lowly and starts kissing your neck. "they'll hear how good i'm fucking you," he says lowly close to your ear again. shivers run down your spine and you moan. one of his hands go down to your hard dick. you grip the counter and moan as his fingers wraps around your dick. "s-sejun..." you say breathlessly. "yes, baby?" he replies. "please let me cum, i'll be quiet i promise," you tell him, whimpering as his hand slowly strokes your dick. "we both know that you won't accomplish that...plus i prefer your loud moans. the noises you make, the whimpering, it has me going completely crazy for you, y/n." he tells you. your dick can't help but twitch. he smirks, knowing what he's said effects you greatly. someone then knocks on the door. sejun doesn't stop stroking your dick. your hand goes over your mouth as your whimpers are muffled. "hyung, hurry up we've got to go. i hope y/n hyung is with you too," subin says.

"okay subin," he responses so causally, as if his dick isn't inside you and stroking you teasingly slow. it frustrates you. "let's continue this at our dorm, hm?" you nod in response. he pulls out and you both pull up your pants and underwear before you head out. your group has decided to take the bus you guys own so when everyone has taken their seats, they fall asleep. you and sejun are sitting at the back, the rest of the members and staff members in front of you. you are checking things on your phone and when the bus enters a dark tunnel, sejun's hand goes up your thigh, dangerously close to your crotch. you try your best to keep your facial expression neutral. sejun loves the fact that he has such an effect on you. he leans in closer to you and teases your neck. "s-sejun. were in public..." you whisper. he then comes up and pecks your cheek. he pulls away and pretends to be asleep as the bus exits the tunnel.

as soon as the both of you enter and close the door of your shared bedroom sejun pins you against the wall, bodies close to each other. he leans in and kisses you, his one hand comimg down and roaming your clothed body. you whine into his mouth. he gets the hint and his hand unbuckles your belt. he breaks the kiss and focuses getting your pants down. you take off your shirt as sejun finishes with your pants and underwear. you take off his shirt. he kisses you again, sucking on your tongue you let out a moan into his mouth. you both are so horny at this point. you take sejun by surprise when your fingers wraps around his hard cock.

you stroke him but painfully teasingly slow. he groans. "y/n. stop teasing," he says lowly. you ignore him and guide him to the bed. you push him so his back hits the mattress. you crawl ontop of him. he props himself up with his elbows as he watches you. you kiss the sides of his dick. sejun throws his head back and exhales a shaky breath, eyes closed in concentration. you then explore his stomach. sejun hums in content as he looks at you again. the view has him aroused. you then attack his chest and collarbones with kisses. you suck on his collarbone, sejun groans. you then kiss his neck then jawline, then cheek. you rub your nose against his and he smiles. your lips finally meets his. his one hand comes in contact with your jaw but soon goes to your nape to make the kiss deeper. his tongue asks for entry and you oblige.

his tongue explores your mouth, kissing you sinfully. you moan. sejun's patients runs out and he switches the positions. he's above you. he attacks your neck and marks it up, he then sucks on your collarbones aggressively which makes you moan. he trails kisses from your chest to your lower stomach. his finger enters you which makes you grip the sheets. you begin to pant as his fingers thrust in and out of you. the way sejun is looking at you makes you cum faster. your so sensitive so when sejun touches your dick you flinch and whimper. his mouth takes your dick and he starts sucking you off. your hands grips his hair tightly and he grunts which causes vibrations to go through your dick.

you start to tear up due to the overwhelming pleasure. you don't want sejun to stop despite you being over stimulatated so you don't stop him. you cum again in his mouth. he swallows. "fuck sejun..." you say lowly, still panting. "are you okay? can you take another round?" he asks you. you nod. "are you sure?" you nod again. "yes, i'm sure." you then peck his lips for reassurance. he leans in and kisses you. he then breaks it and you lie back down, he enters you with his dick. you hiss and grip his shoulders. you clench around him and he has to resist the urge to move. he groans instead. you relax around him not long after. "okay, you can move." he moves slowly and as soon as you become more vocal and show no signs of discomfort he picks up the pace.

"fuck," you moan as you arch your back. he's found your prostate and he hits it over and over again. "sejun!" you moan out loudly as he continues to mercilessly pounding into you. sejun begins to pant and you breathing heavily signals that you are already close once again. without warning, you cum onto your stomach. sejun chases his own high and cums into you. he pulls out and collapses next to you. when he thinks you have fallen asleep you hover above him. "we aren't done yet, love. one more round...let me make you feel good." sejun gets hard again just of the thought you fucking him.

after prepping sejun you enter him carefully. even though both of you are switches, sejun is mainly the top so it's been a while since you've fucked him, hence you being careful. he grips your hair tightly. you kiss his neck to distract him. after you have fully entered him you stay still. you decide its a good time to start a makeout session so you do just that. unintentionally, sejun moves his hips, oh so desperate for friction. "please move," he begs. you love it when he begs for you. you oblige and start moving slowly. he moans lowly which drives you insane. "keep moaning for me baby," you tell him in a low tone. he moans again but louder. "f-faster...please go faster." you go faster and faster. "oh fuck!" you smirk, knowing you've found his prostate. you keep hitting it over and over as you fuck him mercilessly. you begin to pant. your head throws back due to the pleasure.

you looking so fucked out brings sejun close to his climax. his back arches. "i"m gonna cum," he announces. you look at him. "cum, cum for me." he whimpers. "y/n!" sejun cums with a loud moan and your name escapes his mouth. you chase after your own high and cum not long after. both of you are a panting mess. "you should fuck me more often," sejun tells you breathlessly. you smirk. "we'll take turns to make it even," you reply. "fine by me," he grins. sejun pecks your lips. "let's go take a shower," he adds. you nod in agreement and peck his nose.

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lushta1es0nm3 · 11 months

Text

Victon:

When your ex tries to get back with you (kinky version)

So I started emptying out my stash. Better late than never, I was going to wait but considering the situations, I said fuck it, post that shit and try not to regret anything.

You looked at your phone after receiving a notification from Snapchat. You only used the app for its filters, you never posted on it because what was point of that when you can just put it on Instagram? An ex that couldn’t seem to take a hint messaged inboxed you on snap. You replied that you were in a relationship and this guy took that as an opportunity to flirt when you legit told him off.

Throwing your phone down on the couch you stood up with a sigh “I’m gonna go get pizza you want some baby?” You announced to Seungwoo, he was in the bathroom cleaning makeup off his face, but he answered with a cute little “yes please.” You grabbed your purse and keys left, forgetting to grab your phone. You realized it when you stopped to get something to drink, so you grabbed whatever soda you remembered him liking and headed back home.

“Hey,” you announced walking into your apartment, “I forgot my phone,” you went about explaining as you placed everything down in the kitchen, “but I picked up some soda and snacks on the way back……” your words trailed off when you turned round and looked at Seungwoo standing on the kitchen doorway. He wasn’t saying anything. He was just staring at you and the look in his fox-like eyes said you were in trouble.

You stared at back at him and then your eyes followed his hand movements as he held up his right hand showing you your phone screen with a message displayed on it:

“We were amazing together, the sex was good and the love was real. I can still treat you like a queen, no more of the childish nonsense. I really do miss you. Ditch him and come hangout with me, I promise you won’t regret it.”

“Babe,” he started slowly, “who is this?” He asked as he started walking towards you.

“An ex from years ago,” you quickly blurted out the truth, “he’s been bugging me for a week, all because of one picture I posted on accident,” he kept walking and you began backing up until you reached the counter, “I’ve told over and over again that I don’t even like him even in the slightest way,” Seungwoo had you caged in now, his tall figure looming over you, “I even told him I had a whole hot ass, fine ass boyfriend,” he smirked down at you and you fell silent.

Shit, you thought, I fucked up, I should’ve just blocked his ass.

“I read all the messages,” Seungwoo stated, making you look away from him, “does he really think he can beat me up and take you from me?” He giggled, “and he called me little. I’m not little.” You did your best to not look at him but whichever way your head turned he followed.

It was quiet for only a few seconds, making your knees feel weak. Ah shit, I’m in some deep shit, was all you could think. You didn’t even realize that he, Seungwoo, had taken off his shirt or the fact that he had turned on your Snapchat camera. He gently pulled you into a kiss and just as you felt his tongue in your mouth, you heard the shutter sound from your phone. You pulled away from him and reached for your phone, but he had other plans. Him being taller than you he held your phone up in the air and you watched as he sent the picture to your ex.

You sighed and before you could say anything about anything, Seungwoo had left you up onto the countertop and ripped your shirt off. The normally gentle Seungwoo had become someone else, “what the he-” your words failed and a moan escaped your lips when he placed an open mouth kiss onto the base of your neck.

Your head fell back and he smirked against your skin, he had you open. He knew your weak spot and you never thought he’d ever use it like this. You mumbled his name and let out a sharp breath, he was placing a huge passion mark on the spot. He suckled on the spot, all the while taking pictures of how open you were to him and how you belonged to him. He let go of the spot, his hot breath fanning your neck and just when you thought he would stop, he picked another spot and went to town.

Just this alone could make you orgasm. You were so wet and needy now, your arms went around his waist instinctively, trying to pull him closer. He was now doing a damn good job of placing yet another huge hickey below your collarbone. Shit, that was it, your legs went around him bringing him even closer to your needy core. You felt him smirk and pull away, he looked down at you, he had a glint in his eyes you’d never seen before.

Seungwoo grabbed your chin and turned your face towards the camera, he timed it just right. Just as he started marking up the other side of your neck, he took another picture of how needy and fucked up you were, “Seun-” you couldn’t get his name out, you yelped, he had taken a bite of your neck. It was the last straw for you because you creamed all over yourself. And trust me, he knew it, he licked and sucked at the spot a little more before pulling away completely.

You stayed on the countertop, and watched as he leaned against it beside you. You could only stare at him, unable to fully fathom the fact that he made you cream from just hickies. Son of a frappe, you thought looking at Seungwoo, who was busy typing away on your phone.

“That was hot.” You remarked after a few seconds had passed. It was the only thing you could think to say. Seungwoo looked at you and smirked, with one eyebrow raised, knowing exactly what he had done.

He handed you your phone and pecked you cheek, “You might wanna wear sweaters for a while,” He started to walk away, “next time, don’t respond to guys like that.”

And as if a switch had turned back on in your head, you remembered why this all happened in the first place. Looking at your phone, you saw all the pictures AND a video of you creaming yourself at the end. Followed by a final message:

“She’s mine, leave her be. I’m more obsessive and shameless than you can believe. Go play somewhere else or find something safe to do.”

Your mouth hung open in disbelief, this man was a real piece of work, you thought. Just as he called out from the living room “What movie do you wanna watch?” As is nothing ever happened.

“I’m just saying,” your ex tried to reason, “we could hang out sometimes, it would be so lit.” He looked you up and down and you rolled your eyes doing everything in your power to not throw your drink in his face. This guy really, at a very important event, at a company you used to work for, with your husband a few feet away talking to some big name people, who’s name you forgot.

Sighing inwardly, you took a small sip from the glass of wine you held before speaking, “That’s real cute and all, but I think you forgot,” you said coldly, “I’m married and my Seungsik is coming this way. That and the fact that I think you’ve forgotten about my temper.”

Once Seungsik had finally reached you, he smiled and tilted his head a little as if he was asking what’s going on. Your ex frowned at the loving look you gave Seungsik as you ignored his presence and asked Seungsik how his conversation went.

“Wow,” your ex started, trying to pick a fight, right in front of Seungsik, “is that all you two talk about, business and work. It makes it seem like you married each other for convenience.”

“I know the fuck he just didn’t?” You mumbled only enough for the three of you to hear, you took a step forward and Seungsik knew what you were about to do, so he took the wine glass from you and passed it off to a server walking by, “listen you simple mined fuck,” you started, Seungsik was holding you back, “you’re an ex, get over it you pathetic little bitch.”

“You weren’t saying that when I used to break your back in.” He remarked, now getting a rise out of your beloved husband.

The hold you didn’t know you had on Seungsik’s arm became tighter, “don’t play yourself like that, you need to pick yourself up off that small ass ego you just tripped on. Honestly, your dick game is trash,” a few people standing nearby had heard you because you had raised your voice an octave, “I suggest you find something safe to do before I hurt your little feelings.”

Maybe it was the wine, or maybe it really was your temper getting the best of you. Most of the time you kept it in check but the wine just loosened it up a little. Seungsik grabbed your hand and began to lead out of the event hall. You knew he was upset but, you didn’t give a shit at the moment the only thing you could think about was socking your ex in the face.

After a few twists and turns you realized that Seungsik had dragged you a good distance away and into a empty room, he turned and looked at you, his hand on his hips, you watched as he took a deep breathe, “Sweetheart,” he called you lovingly, “I want to knock him out too,” he looked you over, “but can you blame him when you look so hot in that dress,” he paused for a second before continuing, “I told you not to wear it. But you did anyway and you caused a scene-“

“Hold up,” you cut him off, “baby, you know I wear what I want. And,” you rolled your neck a little, ignoring the look Seungsik was giving you, “I wish you would’ve let me get one swing in,” you continued, going on about how your ex cheated on you in the past and you even let it slip out that said ex had been bothering you since forever ago. That, my dear, was all it took for Seungsik to grab hold of you and push you up against the door. Your words got caught in your throat and your eyes widened at the sudden action.

“My love,” Seungsik started pinning both your hands over your head, “stop it,” his voice was low and his face was inches away from yours, “I’ve told you, multiple times, I don’t like it. And now you’re telling me that he has been bothering you,” he paused and looked you over slowly, as if he was about to eat you, “that bastard even bragged about breaking your back in. You,” he spoke slowly, “are mine.”

Your chest rose and fell, and your breath caught in your throat when you felt Seungsik’s free hand going up your leg and under your dress. Your face flushed red, as lowered your eyes, but you didn’t miss the smirk on his face. Yes, he indeed moved your panties to the side and was now playing with your inner folds. Enjoying your expressions, he knew what you liked and how you liked it. But that was beside the point, what he wanted to do was mark you like he did when you first got together.

He let go of your hands and you instinctively wrapped them around his neck. He lifted you up and sat down in a nearby chair, he stopped torturing your folds and sat you on his lap, you started kissing his neck feverishly. Your ears fell dead to the sound of the door opening but Seungsik’s didn’t, he looked up at the intruder, who was none other than your ex. He locked eyes with him and smirked, mocking him for what he lost and could never have.

Seungsik enjoyed the look of shock and devastation that crossed over the man's face as he took in the sight before him. Yeah, serves him right, he should’ve stayed in his lane. The man closed the door and Seungsik pulled away from you. He kissed your lips gently, his hands were feeling up your ass the whole time. He placed a finger on your chin and stared into your lust filled eyes as he spoke.

“We should head home and finish this,” he rested his forehead against yours and placed a hand behind your head, and continued, “I don’t want anyone else catching us.”

It took a moment for his words to register in your mind, when they did, you pulled back and stared at him in confusion, “Don’t worry about it,” he added standing you both up, he took your underwear and shoved them in his pocket after looking at them for a second, “let’s go, I need that as bad as you do right now.”

You blinked still confused, but nonetheless you fixed your dress and followed him out of the room, stepping into the hallway, you nearly tripped when you saw your ex standing with his back to you. Seungsik grabbed your hand and smirked “You should mind the business that pays you.” Seungsik remarked to your ex as he pulled you along as he walked away with you in tow. You glanced back and caught ex’s expression, why is he sad, you thought but brushed it off immediately when you felt Seungsik’s eyes on you. You looked up at your better half and smiled, no one can drive you crazy like this man.

Setting across the table from you, Chan stared at you. He wasn’t talkative like his normal self, he was quiet and expressionless. You huffed and leaned back in your chair folding your arms. It wasn’t that serious, was it? It couldn’t be, I mean all you did was go up to the counter and order your iced coffee and his boba tea, how the hell were you supposed to know your ex worked here? All you did was give the man a fake smile as you shot him down when he asked you out.

“Chan,” you called his name with a sigh, “it’s not that serious.” he bit his lip and looked off for a second before looking back at you, “come on,” you whined a little and he looked off again, “we’re supposed to be enjoying ourselves, forget about him.”

Chan finally looked back at you, but something wasn’t right. You ignored that though, when he finally smiled at you, making you think he got over it. Ha, yeah right, homie had other plans. He could see your ex looking at you, your back was to the counter. So you didn’t know. He stood up and sat beside you, placing an arm around you, you smiled and kissed his cheek.

You both started talking about everything under the sun, but only you seemed to forget about your ex watching your every move from across the room. The drinks you ordered were ready and none other than your ex was bringing them over to you. Chan saw him and decided it would be the perfect time to whisper something dirty in your ear. He started snickering when you looked at him in shock and pushed him away playfully.

“One melon boba tea and vanilla iced coffee add cream and three sugars, with light ice.” Your ex called out your order without blinking.

You looked up at him and smiled a fake smile “Thanks,” Chan spoke for you both before looking back at you, “come on,” he started again, ignoring the man standing in front of you both, “you know you’d like it.” Chan whispered, his lips brushing your ear, making your face turn red, “I could lick it off.” He stated loud enough for your ex to hear

“Chan stop,” you giggled out a little when he wrapped his arms around your waist, “you play too much.”

“Who says I’m playing?” He quizzed looking dead at you. Your ex had finally dismissed himself because he couldn’t take watching you both flirt and because he knew Chan was playing dirty and it worked. But it wasn’t just Chan, you, yourself couldn’t look at anybody else but the person you're with. And right now, you were in a relationship with Chan, so you couldn’t help but to only look at him. Your ex knew that but he nonetheless still tried anyway and failed of course.

“Chan,” you looked at him with a small smile playing on your lips, you poked his dimpled cheek, “that’s sound like fun but not right now.”

You picked up your phone and started showing Chan a picture of a jacket you were planning on ordering offline. Meanwhile he had looked over his shoulder at your ex and smirked, waving at him as if he were making fun of him. The man frowned, he was getting angry, so he began walking forwards to your table.

Chan had looked back down at your phone, as if he didn’t just provoke your ex, “that’s cute babe,” Chan remarked, “I’m not gonna lie, I’m actually thinking about how good you’d look covered in chocolate syrup.”

You spit your drink out, some of it coming out of your nose, you coughed as Chan patted your back and handed you paper towels. Your ex was standing right behind you and he had frozen in place, he heard every word.

“Wow,” you choked out, “damn,” you tried to clear your throat, “you win, let’s go home.”

I mean sis, honestly, this man may like to talk but his head game was on point, A mutherfucking one. He knew that it, and he also knew that was what could drive you over the edge but he only gave it when he felt like teasing and torturing you. He enjoyed watching you squirm and beg more than fucking your brains out.

Chan started laughing under his breath as he glanced at your ex and then back to you, “I didn’t think that’d make you choke. Slow down baby.” He sounded so concerned as he helped wipe up the mess. He kissed you and apologized, watching as your ex made a final retreat back to the counter.

You stood up, “Chan,” you ordered, “get your ass up, we're going home. You started this, now finish it.” You were unknowingly loud enough for other people to hear, but you didn’t give a damn, who says no to something like that? Grabbing Chan’s hand, you started pulling him along, making him laugh even more. But he had other ideas, this man somehow ended up pulling you back to the table. He legit waited until no one was looking and snuck you into the bathroom. Where he licked and ate until he got his fill and you did everything in your power to hold back every moan almost failing. And best believe he made sure your ex could hear every last bit of it.

Sitting on the couch watching Sejun laughing it up with one of his friends, you shook your head a little at the sight. He was having hella fun at this party, you almost didn’t come. But just watching him being happy made you happy, you smiled and just as you did, your phone began ringing. You looked down at it, an unknown number, you disregarded it and looked back at Sejun, who was now walking towards you. He plopped down on the couch next to you and planted a kiss on your forehead.

“Having fun,” you questioned with your head tilted to the side a little.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing,” he smiled back, he sighed a little and looked at his watch, checking the time, “ready to go home, cause I am.”

You nodded and he stood up, he reached his hand out towards you to help you up. Lacing your fingers with his, you both made your way to the door. Your phone began ringing, just as you both made it into the hallway.

Frowning as you looked at your phone, that same unknown number flashed across the screen. You stopped walking unknowingly and decided to answer it after whoever it was hung up and called again.

“Y/N, I’ve been trying to reach you, how have you been?” It was none other than your ex and he was drunk as fuck.

You stood there, your frown growing deeper, Sejun was now beside you looking very concerned, “What’s the matter?” He asked you searching your face.

You looked at him finally and shook your head, “nothing.” You hung up the phone and grabbed hold of Sejun’s arm and proceeded to head home.

Two weeks later……

“Stop,” you hollered out at Sejun laughing, “my stomach hurts. I quit, you win!”

He stopped a look of victory all over his face, his dimple showing. Which was the whole reason you both started wrestling in the first place. You stood up from the floor and he looked at you with curiosity. Smiling down at him, you poked his dimple again and took off running, knowing he was going to chase you.

No one was in the practice room, so you both were free to play around as you please. The other members had disappeared as soon as you arrived, but that was cool, more time to play like children.

You didn’t make it far before Sejun had grabbed you yet again, this time he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. You cried out laughing, begging to be put down, he did, but after spinning you around and scaring you a little. He sat up down on top of the table next to your bag and grinned down at you.

“I’m glad you came,” he whispered out, smiling like a child, “I’ve been kinda down for the last two days.”

You cupped his face in your hands and made a pouty face, “I missed you too darling,” You stated, he went to kiss you, but your phone began to ring, cutting into the mood. Rolling your eyes, you blindly reached over and answered your phone “Hello.” You sighed.

“Y/N, it’s me,” it was your ex again, “I know I fucked up, but can I please have another chance.” He begged, “I promise, I’ll do better this time.”

Sejun heard every word and before you could hang up, he snatched your phone out of your hand “Who is this?” He questioned the man.

Your ex ignored the question and demanded you to be back on the phone. Sejun was getting angry and you could see it, so you went to jump off the table. But Sejun blocked you from moving, “Why are you calling my girlfriend,” Sejun frowned, “she’s not interested, if she was she’d be with you!”

“Jun-ah,” you called his name and tried to take your phone from him but he pushed your hands away, “please stop, hang up the phone.”

“Look dude, put her back on the phone,” your ex yelled out, when you had tried again to reach for the phone, you accidentally hit the speaker button, “I don’t give a damn who you are, I made her the way she is, she’s mine!”

Now it was your turn to get angry, “Hey,” you yelled out loud, your voice echoed across the room, “I don’t belong to anyone. You didn’t make anything you pompous asshole,” Sejun stared at you as you spoke, a deep frown on his face, “we dated two years ago, are you fucking kidding me!”

“Y/N,” your ex called your name twice, “please, listen to me, I’m sorry, I love yo-”

Sejun had hung up the phone and was now glaring at you as if he could bite your head off. You folded your arms and looked away, because you knew you needed to explain. After taking a deep breath, you pushed your hair back and looked back at him.

“So,” he started, “who the fuck was that?”

“My ex,” you answered with a huff, it was a long time ago,”

“Is he the one that called you that night at the party?” He questioned, now leaning towards you. Yes, sis, he was all up in your grill, leaving you no other choice than to answer him, he had you caged in between his arms, “why didn’t you tell me, I could’ve told him off then,” he paused for only a second, “has he been calling you since then?”

“Yes,” you sighed out, annoyed because your happy mood was now ruined, “I haven’t answered since that night,” you further explained, “I was planning on blocking him but I’ve been busy with work.”

“Why didn’t you tell me back then,” he asked, “is he the same one that caused you all that pain?”

Your face changed from annoyed to hurt at the simple thought of what your ex had done to you. You looked away but Sejun grabbed your chin, making you look at him. You took a deep breath, the tears you were holding back fell, as you looked him in the eyes. Sejun’s expression became soft, he took it upon himself to kiss your tears away.

“It’s okay,” he whispered between kisses, “I’m here with you now, I’ll never hurt you like he did.” He assured you, making you wrap your arms around him to bring him close. It was true, your ex hurt you in more ways than one, that man ripped you into complete shit. It took some time and just when you thought you were ready, you met Sejun. He made you feel whole and he loved you despite your flaws, why would you risk losing someone like him.

Unbeknownst to you, Sejun’s kisses had become more eager and you, my dear, were adding more heat to the fire. Shit, you couldn’t breathe, so you pulled away, you could feel Sejun’s bulge on your inner thigh, his face was buried in your neck “Not here,” you whispered softly, your hands had found their way under his shirt, “someone might see.”

He looked up, just as the lights in the practice room had gone off, “I think everyone’s gone home now,” He whispered back, running his hand through your hair, “but we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

You kissed his lips gently and pulled away, you low key wanted to feel him inside you but you didn’t want to get caught. Sejun grinned, his mischievous manners were showing up now. He pulled you closer until his bulge was right up against your clothed folds. He kissed you deeper and held you tightly against and he grinned into you, you took it upon yourself to break the kiss, hoping he wouldn’t stop because it felt so damn good.

“You play so mu-” your words caught in your throat when he grinded into you harder, “Sejun,” you moaned out his name, “just fuck me already.”

He smirked, “I’ll do more than just fuck you.” He promised as he freed himself and lifted up your skirt. He pushed your panties to the side and just as he kissed you, he put his full length into you, “let me fill you with my love,” with every word he spoke; he thrusted in and out gently, “and give you more, I’ll make love to you.”

Shit, he kissed you and fucked you deeper. You couldn’t breathe but your heart felt full, he was doing it how you liked, nothing could interrupt this moment. It felt too good, not even your phone ringing could make you stop. Sejun had left both your legs up, making you hold yourself up, your hand had brushed your phone, but you were too wrapped up in getting the best dick in your life to care. You had accidentally answered the phone, just as a moan escaped your lips. Your ex was on the line, he called your name but it fell on death ears. He was instead greeted by the sound of lust filled love and heavy breathing.

“I love you baby.” Sejun whispered out, he as nearing his end and so where you.

Looking in his eyes with parted lips you went to reply, but he had placed a hand around your neck and rammed into you deeply making you cream so hard, you cried out his name as your body shook, he followed shortly after, cumming deep into your folds. He held you close. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you, past or present.” He kissed your lips gently and you nodded, whispering back about how much you loved him. He glanced over at your phone and smirked when he saw that your ex was on the phone listening. He played it off and discreetly hung up the phone, knowing he didn’t have to worry about that asshole very again.

The room was quiet but the only sound that could be heard was your heavy breathing, while you sat on top of Hanse staring down at him. You both were tired but neither of you would fold, this was a fight for dominance and you were getting your ass handed to you.

Hanse was looking up at you with a smirk, he knew was winning. So, he was gonna take the time to provoke you until the very end. What was crazy was that it started because your ex thought it would be a good idea to show up to your apartment unannounced. And Hanse was the one to open the door, he looked scary to others but not to you. So when he came face to face with your ex, the man froze in place before asking where you were and if it was the right apartment.

You ended up coming to the door to see what was going on, yeah, sis, you were only wearing a shirt you stole from Hanse. That and the fact that you wrapped your arms around him from the back before looking over his shoulder to see who it was. You sighed, the smile on your face almost vanishing.

“Why on earth are you here,” you asked your ex coldly, “I thought I told you to get lost and never come back.”

Hanse looked at you then back at him, “You know him?” He questioned putting his hands in his pocket.

You looked off and ran your hands through your hair, “I used to know him,” you stated coldly, leaning on to Hanse to add emphasis to that you were happy.

“You moved on pretty fast.” Your ex remarked, sounding hurt, but what was he to expect. You broke up well over a year ago, or rather it was more like, you had an argument about him cheating and then ghosting you, not even bothering to actually cut it off. So you being the bad bitch you are, you shot him a text saying never to show his face around you again after a little over a month after he disappeared.

You met Hanse a few months after, you were in the middle of a rush at the cafe you work at, no manager was on duty and everyone else seemed clueless as to what to do. So you stepped up and started giving orders, making everything run smoothly. Hanse was sitting at a table alone, he was watching the entire thing go down. You could feel his sharp catlike eyes on you, so you glanced in his direction. You ended up locking eyes with him and he smirked, making you look away. Damn, he got you good, because you almost fucked up and gave someone the wrong order. After that moment you felt like he could see through you almost, but that’s what made him seem sexy to you. So you brought him his drink and asked him out at the same time.

A small laugh escaped Hanse’s lips as he looked back at your ex, before slamming the door in his face. Somehow, Hanse managed to drag you to your bedroom and strip you completely naked, I mean, you guys were already in the middle of something before your ex knocked on the door. This just added to pile of things that was making him want to fuck your lights out.

So, here you were in a heated battle with a man who was normally warm. He flipped you over in one swift motion and stared down at you, you couldn’t help but to look at his lip piercing, you thought it was so sexy. Especially when he smirked, shit, fuck it, you thought, I’m not gonna win this one, I quit, I fold.

It was as if he could read your mind, Hanse let out a small laugh and got closer to your face. You were basically breathing each other’s breathe, he was now taunting you by not kissing you so you could feel the coldness of his piercing.

“You don’t play far.” You remarked with a small frown.

“All of far in love and war.” was his response,he buried his face in your neck and nipped at your skin. You let out a breathy sigh, arching your back into him. You both were sweaty but honestly sis, who gives a damn. Hanse was enjoying how you squirmed around under him begging for him to fuck you even more.

But sis, just when you thought you’d get to ride the pounding you needed, someone thought it would be a wonderful idea to come home on time. Whom you may ask, none other than your roommate, and ole girl was loud as fuck for no reason today.

Hanse let you go and you huffed as you sat up, “This bitch has some superb timing.” You grumbled saracastly as you climbed out of bed and started putting on clothes.

Your roommate knocked on the door, “Y/N,” she called out, it sounded like she was crying “I need some company, I just caught my boyfriend cheating with my best friend.”

“Oh fuck.” You sighed as you watched Hanse finish getting dressed.

“We can finish this some other time,” he promised, kissing your forehead, “I’m far from finished.” He remarked as he grabbed and squeezed a helping handful of your ass. He let go and smacked it, liking how it jiggled, “I’ll see you later babe.” He whispered opening the door and walking out of your room.

You followed behind him, biting your lip, you liked jealous Hanse. He it made him dangerous and you licked it. Exiting your room behind him, you ran dead into your roommate, who by the smell was drunk. You knew how you’d spend your night, and it wasn’t how you wanted.

A month later………

“Why are you here?” You frowned at your ex. You were at work, doing your job as usual, it was almost time to get off. Thus, the day was going good until he showed up. The man was persistent and wouldn’t take no for an answer, but what you both didn’t know, was Hanse was there watching the whole thing play out.

Sis, your man had came in right behind your ex, he would’ve intervened. But he wanted to see how you would handle it, because I mean, you are a big girl, you take care of yourself, right?

“Please just hear me out,” your ex pleaded, good thing it was slow and he was the only one in line, “I was wrong and selfish and I’m sorry.”

You blinked at this man with a straight face, before replying. You folded your arms and took a deep breathe, “Look man,” you finally started, “get over it. You disappeared after I caught you cheating. I’m in a relationship,” you pointed your finger at him, “and don’t start talking about how you’ve changed. I accept your apology, but I’m not getting back with you. And ex is an example of what not to do again. So, do me a favor and get over it.”

He went to speak, but a hand on his shoulder caused him to stop and look. At some point, Hanse had made his way over, “how pathetic.” Hanse remarked with a small shake of his head, he looked over at you, “ready to go babe.”

The grim look you once had was replaced by a soft smile as you nodded “let me clock out, I didn’t know you were picking me up today.” Your tone was excited, he was just the person you wanted to see.

Now sis, when you took off to he back, Hanse took the opportunity to be very clear with your ex. He wasn’t about to spare any feelings.

“Look dude, she’s happy, why are you being a parasite and trying to fuck that up,” Hanse sighed and sized him up really quick, “I’ve been nice about it, especially when you showed up at her house, slamming the door was a small part of what I want to do to you,” He had placed a hand on the mans shoulder and spoke lowly into his ear, “I want to break your face in, for the shit you did to her. Right now I want to break your damned legs. You are a pathetic little piece of shit, you didn’t deserve her, she’s too good for you. If I see or hear about you bugging her again, you’ll have to deal with me,” Hanse stepped back when he saw you coming back, “do me that one favor while I’m being polite.”

Your ex was a mix between scared and angry, you walked up to Hanse who was smirking slightly at the man. Daring him to try it, whatever it was. But the man never moved. You on the other hand ignored your ex and grabbed Hanse’s hand, pulling him along because you were so ready to go.

Now, sis, let’s just say, you guys picked up where you left off. I mean, shit happened really fast when you got home, considering you guys stopped at a few places. But nonetheless, girl, you were right back in the same position, naked, sweaty and heated. But this time, neither of you held back. Getting fucked with those kinds of emotions does something to you. The pressure behind each thrust and thoughtless minds mixed with feelings of the heart, while getting dicked down made you climax in no time. But so what if you were going to be sore for a few days, no fucks were given.

The night was young, but the breeze was cold, which was okay with you. You were headed home anyway, sleep was calling your name in all capital letters. Sighing you rounded the corner that lead to your house, you froze when your eyes landed on your ex standing on your door step holding flowers.

What the fuck is he doing here, you thought. Like seriously, you haven’t seen the man in months. Last time you checked he said you were too boring and easy to read for him. The day you broke up played in your mind like a broken record.

It was sunny out, you woke up that day feeling good but something was off. He texted you and asked to meet up at a cafe, so you did. You dressed up and headed out. Sitting in the cafe, he stared at you with a cold expression, before telling you it was over and blaming you for not being exciting enough. Well shit, that stung like a bitch. You put your all into the relationship, you were together so long but what really hurt was he fact the he didn’t realize he didn’t put any effort into it. You almost cried, but you held back and stood up from the table, snatching the necklace he had bought you off and throwing it at him. You left without a word, I’m your mind you said fuck it and let it go.

So, why was he standing in front of your house, holding flowers. You sighed and walked up to him, your hands in your jacket pocket, you looked him up and down as he turned towards you. He smiled at you a held the flowers out for you to take, but you didn’t make a move to grab them.

“Y/N,” he started, “I’m sorry, I was wrong. It wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I should’ve treated you better-.”

You sighed loudly, cutting him off, “Thanks,” you rolled your eyes, “but you're late, I moved on already. But even if I didn’t, I wouldn’t come back to you.”

He dropped the flowers, he face was a mix between sad and upset. He sighed about to say something when a very familiar laugh reached your ears. You looked behind you, ByungChan was walking towards you, his nose was red and his eyes were watering. He was still sick, but why on earth did he come out, when you just left his house after putting him to sleep, or you thought.

“Byung-ah,” you called his name worriedly, “why are you here, I thought I left you at home asleep.”

He coughed a little and threw an arm around you, “I couldn’t let you walk home alone,” he replied sounding as stop up as ever, “I followed you,” he sneezed and sniffled.

You pushed him off and glared at him, “Dude, seriously, you sneezed in my hair.”

He laughed at you and looked at your ex, “Who is this guy?” He asked ignoring your protest, he was still trying lean on you.

“You’re sick and you’re asking me about him,” you shoved him off one last time and reached into your purse pulling out a small pack of Kleenex. You grabbed him by his shoulder and pulled his face to your level so you could clean his nose.

“I’m sorry, babe, but some random dude is trying to give you flowers, I don’t like that.” ByungChan explained still standing eye level with you.

“Look Bunnie,” you called his pet name, and touched his forehead, “you’re still sick! Go home!” You yelled, he was about to become childish, you could feel it.

“You're right,” he smiled, “I’m sick, sick on your love.” He looked over at your ex and smirked before he sneezed again, “she is so loving isn’t she,” he kept laughing and teasing, “too bad you let her go.”

You sighed, you knew he was playing stupid and he was aiming to provoke your ex, it was working. You didn’t want to see a fight or an argument between the two men, so you decided to cut that shit short.

“Choi ByungChan,” you called his entire name, “just get in the house,” you started pushing him towards the front door, you glanced at your ex, “as you can see, I’m busy taking care of my sick boyfriend,” ByungChan was about to say something but he couldn’t because he started coughing, “goodbye and take care of yourself.”

You had managed to unlock the door and shove ByungChan in. You closed the door and looked at your beloved boyfriend about to start nagging, but froze in place when you saw his expression. His face was completely blank, something you only saw once, right before he lost his cool.

Huffing, you folded your arms and started talking again after swallowing, “Have you lost your mind,” you said, “you can become sicker if you go outside like that, it’s cold out,” you looked him over, “you didn’t even put on a jacket or proper shoes.”

“Has he come here before?” ByungChan asked, ignoring all your concerns for his health.

You huffed and looked off then back at him, “Forget about him, he’s not important!” You yelled

“He is if he comes to your house,” he yelled back, “what if he had tried something!”

“Are you hearing yourself,” you were getting angry, because he wasn’t taking his sickness seriously, “I don’t care about him, you're standing in front of me, your nose is running and your temp is high. I don’t give a fuck about that guy!”

“He came to your house unannounced, at night, he could’ve been drunk or something. He could’ve tried to kidnap you!”

You sighed, he wasn’t hearing you but you were hearing him, so you blurted out what the problem was. It had been going on for a while, he just wouldn’t say it, so you just blurted it out, “You keep thinking I’m going to leave you for someone else!”

He fell silent, you had the courage to say it out loud and that hurt. Adding that to the fact that he tried to hide it from you, but you knew anyway, he low key wondered when you figured it out. His mind as running but no words could come out.

“I figured it out a month and a half ago,” you explained, “when that guy asked for my number as if you weren’t standing there. I found out then.”

ByungChan dropped his head, he had been feeling so insecure since before then. He saw how the good the other men looked and he couldn’t help but compare. You took a step towards him and he took one back, you went to call his name but he shook his head and walked out of the door. He was holding back tears, and he did his best to not show them, but you saw them and went behind him, calling his name at the top of your lungs.

You ex was still lingering outside, he tried to stop and talk to you, but you shoved him off “Get the fuck out of my face!” You yelled, you noticed ByungChan stop to look back. You ex had kept grabbing you and you kept pushing his hand away, your were becoming frustrated. How could such a good day go down the drain all because this piece of shit showed up?

A firm hand pulled you completely away from your ex, followed by a fist flying straight at his faces. Shit, ByungChan had punched your ex in the nose. Blood was dripping, you were shocked as you watched your stumble while covering his leaking nose.

“Get lost, don’t show your face around here again,” ByungChan wasn’t like this, so you were very much shocked, “if I see you again, I’ll fucking rip your face off, how dare you touch her like that! Have you lost your mind!”

Surprisingly, your ex left after apologizing, ByungChan had turned back towards you, he looked you over and just as he was about to say something. He started coughing up a storm, bringing you back from the cloud you had landed on. This side of him was way too sexy for you at the moment, but you weren’t going to say it.

Instead, you started nagging him a little and ushered him back inside. Where you made him lay in your bed while you made some honey lemon tea. You freshened up quickly while the tea was brewing, listening to him sneeze and cough made you move faster. You quickly made the tea and brought it to him.

Walking into your bedroom, you could’ve sworn he was asleep, so you sat the cup down on the nightstand, beside the bed and sat down next to him. Placing a hand on your forehead and the other in his, you sighed. He was burning up, a hand on top of yours made you look at him. He didn’t say a word, but you knew what he was thinking. So you expressed yourself clearly, without yelling.

“I would never leave you for some other guy,” you started, he looked away from you and huffed, but you kept going, “I don’t know where you got that stupid idea, but forget it. It’s me and you together forever, reminder? Cause I do,” emotions started coming out with each word you spoke, “you picked up a random weed as a joke and gave it to me, to make me laugh,” you started listing the senseless sweet things he had done, “you wrote that I was pretty on a napkin you used. You always show up when I start feeling like shit about myself. You fucking idiot, you almost had a heart attack because I got bit by a misquote,” you were on the verge of tears now but you kept going, “we even played in the park because I was drunk and didn’t want to go home,” a tear fell and his heart dropped, the last thing he wanted was to hurt you.

He placed a hand on your cheek and sat up in bed, he hugged you. But you pushed him a little “You're sick and you’re worried about some loser taking me from you, ByungChan, you fucking idiot!” You were crying, but you had to get it off your chest now, it was the best to do it now, “why would I drop and my ace for a joker, I’m not stupid!”

“I’m sorryY/N,” he whispered, “I didn’t know you felt that way. I thought you would’ve liked someone who’s the opposite of me, I shouldn’t have thought that way.”

“My eyes are only on you, don’t forget that.” You mumbled looking up at him, “now your sick, you need to-,” your complaints were cut short by a gently kiss.

You went to pull away but he wasn’t having that, he pulled you closer and needless to say before you knew it, you were naked and he was on top of you. Fucking you deep and slow, you forgot about him being sick and so did he.

“That’s cheating,” you frowned at Subin pouting at the screen in front of you. He smirked and looked off as if he didn’t just blow air on your neck to distract you from winning, “you know what,” you suggested, “I bet I can beat you in basketball.” You challenged him with a smirk of your own.

He rolled his eyes, but you both stood up anyway and headed to the court outside of your apartment. The game was going good, you were kicking his butt, but he didn’t mind because he was having fun. The sound of loud laughter hit both of your ears causing you to stop and look up. A group of familiar faces was walking towards you, you sighed inwardly. It was your ex and his friends.

“Y/N,” your ex called your name, and stood in front of you , “it’s been a while, I see you’re still hopping and still with this kid. How cute.”

His tone got under your skin but you let it slide, “I see you’re still the same,” you replied, “all talk and no play.”

He went to say something, Subin cut him off, “I’m going to get something to drink, what would you like?” He wasn’t fazed by your ex because he knew you could handle it on your own, no need for him to back you up.

You looked at Subin and smiled at him adorably before answering, “Yes, babe, I’ll take a flavored water.” You always looked at Subin admiration, he was the only guy that could make you swoon. Something that pissed off your ex every time he saw you and him together, “I’ll just sit over there and wait for you to come back, my love.” You added swaying back and forth a little, still holding the ball.

You ex scoffed, but you ignored him until Subin walked away and he did it again, “What,” you sighed out, “can I help you with something?”

Your ex smirked, “let’s play, one on one.” He dared, “I bet I could beat you.”

Shaking your head, you watched Subin leave the court and head for the store, you were going to ignore your ex, but he said something that made you want to prove him wrong. Alas a game started between you and your ex, you were kicking his butt. Leaving him feeling saltier than his sweat.

You shot a three point and watched as the ball went into the net with no problem. Subin was coming back up, he had been gone for about twenty minutes, he wasn’t surprised to see you kicking your ex’s ass. He smiled to himself, you were so cute to him. His smile dropped when he saw your ex smack your ass right when you threw the ball up, the ball missed and you spun around and pushed your ex as hard as you could.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!” You yelled in his face, “have you lost your mind!”

Your ex smirked, acting all cocky because his friends were in the background cheering him on, “It’s still as soft as I remember.” He stated with a smirk, “I can still take you from that kid, he’s a nobody.”

This was you broke up with him I’m the first place, he was so full of himself. He talked a lot of shit but couldn’t fuck for shit. He was good at sports but that was about it. He was a complete asshole, who did anything to make others feel small and you hated it. Your breaking point was when he was picking at some random guy for no reason, he poured water on the guy and acted as if it was an accident. You cursed him out that day and then told him it was over.

“You little bitch,” you started but your ex had forcefully kissed you, shoving his tongue in your mouth. You bit his lip just as you felt him being snatched off of you. Subin eyes were set in a straight line, he was pissed to say the least, your ex stared back at him in a daring manner.

“What are you gonna do, you little punk bitch?” He started antagonizing him, “your a weak little kid, she needs a grown man.”

“Dude-” Your words fell short when you saw Subin land a punch in your ex’s mouth.

“Don’t ever touch her again,” Subin was beyond angry, he had had enough of your ex’s shit for the day.

Your ex wanted to act like a tough guy and swung a punch at Subin, he landed it but Subin swung and landed yet another punch to his jaw. You started to try and break it up, but it was little too late for that. You thanked you stars that your ex’s friend weren’t trying to see a fight, they helped pull them apart.

Subin’s lip was bleeding but you ex was looking wrecked. Why, because he couldn’t fight for shit. You was so overly concerned about Subin lip, that you didn’t see how hurt your ex was. Not like you cared though, serves him right, he fucked up and he knew it. He lost a good woman all because of his cockiness.

“You’ve crossed the line,” Subin yelled trying to go at your ex again, “she’s my girl, how dare you put your disgusting lips on her, you have any idea how long it’s going to take to wipe that off.”

“Let’s go, Subin!” You yelled at him to get his attention. He looked down at you and grabbed your hand aggressively and angrily pulled you along with him. You mind was still on the fact that Subin was bleeding, even though it wasn’t much, just a little but that hurt your heart. No one wants to see someone they love hurt. You were brought back from your running thoughts when you heard your apartment door shut behind you.

Just as you looked up at Subin, he basically tossed you onto the couch, “Subi-,” you stopped talking when he took off his shirt and threw it to the side somewhere.

Your eyes widened when he got on top of you, caging you in. He somehow managed to snatch your shirt off in one motion, you clenched your legs together, but to no avail. Subin was already between your legs, no escape. He went for your sweet spot and you folded, but he was so rough and aggressive. Not that you’d complain. He placed hickies from your neck to your stomach, he then ripped your shorts off, well they were his but who gives a damn, they were gone along with your panties. The cold air was replaced by his hot lips on your folds, he’d never gone down on you before.

You were trying to protest, but he wasn’t having it. He pinned your legs wide open, this was new to you. So it was no surprise as to how your body would react, he ignored how your legs shook and trembled. Where did he learn this from, your hands were in his hair, pulling at the strands, trying to get him to stop, but your grip loosened when you felt yourself about to cream. He stopped and licked his way back to your neck, you opened your eyes and stared directly into his, just as you felt him enter you roughly with no warning. He started pounding into you, not giving anytime to breathe or think.

Again, you tried to stop him but he had you pinned wide open, “I let it slide one two many times,” he stated as he pounded into you deeper and harder, “I can’t believe he touched you,” he rammed into you balls and layed flush against your chest, Subin grabbed your jaw squeezing it. You opened your mouth and he spit in it before kissing you roughly.

Subin pulled away and slammed into you a few times, “This pussy is mines, say it.” He ordered, but you were too far gone to speak, he did it again, harshly pounding into you with no mercy, until you said it.

When you finally said it, he placed two fingers on your clit and rubbed it to the rhythm of each thrust. Until you creamed, your hips shot up and your legs shook, but Subin paid no mind as he continued, reaching his peak, he came. And as he did, his kissed you yet again roughly, covering up your whimpers and moans.

A little after Midnight……..

You lay there on your bed, still naked from earlier, Subin lay beside you, in the same condition, asleep, you assumed. You sat up and looked over at his sleeping form, wondering what had gotten into him. That was so unlike him, but you low key liked it.

Sighing, you climbed out of bed and grabbed your phone and left your apartment to get some air. You were sore down there, but you need the air to help clear your thoughts. You made it to a an empty bench and sat down, looking at the time on your phone, you decided to stay out for only thirty minutes and then head back in. The sound of footsteps coming towards you caused you to look up into none other than your ex’s face.

You sighed and rolled your eyes, so much for getting some air, you thought about to stand up. He stopped you holding out his hands, showing he meant no offense, “Y/N,” he started, “I’m sorry.” He apologized, taking you by surprise. He never apologized for anything. So this was very new to you.

Sighing yet again, you rolled your eyes, “I’m being serious,” he said, making you look up at him, he pointed to the empty spot beside you, “can I sit down, I promise I won’t try anything.”

You stared at him for a few seconds before nodding your head, your ex sat down at the other end of the bench before he started talking again, “I’m really sorry,” he began again, you picked up on how sincere he was by the time of his voice, “I shouldn’t have kissed you or touched you in that manner,” he took a deep breath before continuing, “I just couldn’t believe I lost you to someone else. I really do love you, I’m being shameless, but I have to be honest with you and myself,” at this point, neither of you saw Subin standing within listening distance.

He had woken up, wondering where you were, he came outside in hopes of finding you. He did, but before he made his presence known, he wanted to hear what you would say when he wasn’t around, he was beyond curious, despite the fact that he was deep down scared of how you’d reply.

“You were the best thing to happen to me,” your ex continued, “I fucked up bad. All because I wanted to look like a cool tough guy in front of you. I feel so stupid for treating you like I did, please forgive me,” he paused for a second before he continued, “I’m being self right now, but, please give me one more chance, I promise I’ll be different, I’ll treat you so much better.”

“Wow,” you started, “that’s real sweet,” Subins heart dropped a little at your first few words, “but, I can’t,” you said honestly, “I’m happy, I love Subin, he’s my world,” you sighed, swooning over him, “you messed up, that’s on you,” unknowingly Subin had started walking towards you, “But,” you continued, “I’m glad you saw your flaws, hopefully you fix them. I accept your apology and I hope you find happiness with some other girl who’d be happy to be with you, but it’s not me.”

Subin was now standing beside you, causing you to look up, you smiled unknowingly at him. Your eyes told your emotions, anybody could see that you were in love. Subin smiled back and reached his hand out to you and you grabbed it.

You went to stand up but faltered a little, Subin laughed a little and turned around “Come on,” he pointed to his back and you hoped on, like a happy child, “why didn’t you wake me?” He quizzed as he began walking, leaving your ex sitting there.

“Because,” you answered, laying your head on his back, “you were asleep, I just came out to get some air.”

“Ah, is that so,” he said with a smile of his own, “I was worried for nothing.”

“You worried, does that make any sense,” you playfully responded, “what is this world coming too to make you worry.”

He didn’t respond for a few seconds, he hoisted you up onto his back higher, you were sliding down, he laced his fingers together under your legs to make sure you wouldn’t fall, “Y/N,” he called your name sweetly, “I love you.”

You looked up grinning from ear to ear, “I love you too.” You responded. You could tell he was blushing, so you took that opportunity to blow your breathe on the back of his neck. He panicked and almost fell.

“Hey, be careful,” he scolded you, “what if I drop you.”

You giggled and did it again, this time placing a quick hiss on his cheek when he turned his head to scold you again. He put you down and turned towards you and you playfully ran off. You both ended up playing, despite your ex sitting there watching it all go down. He stood up and smiled accepting his loss but happy to see you smile so brightly. He left without a word.

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