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#secret sky garden
lappophotography · 2 years
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The Garden
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lotus-ignis · 1 year
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I’ve always wondered what lies behind the ocean.
What lies behind the horizon.
Walking on the beach, as close as the shore will allow,
wondering what would happen if I walked into the water,
and just didn’t stop.
Would I make it to other countries I’d never seen?
Or maybe I would find another world.
A lagoon where the mermaids play and the sun is always shining.
Or a dark cave where the pirates drink and the air is thick.
Or maybe I wouldn’t find anything at all.
I’d just keep swimming until the ocean called and I’d become one with the sea foam.
Always being carried further, never in the air and never in the water,
in a constant state of movement and stillness,
of swiftness and staleness,
knowing nothing and knowing everything,
seeing nothing and seeing everything.
Til’ I’d eventually be laid to rest on a lonely shore, by the water,
so that the wind may carry me away.
Up into the sky, up into the clouds, were infinite freedom awaits.
Wistfully I look into the clouds that pass by,
and wave infinity goodbye.
(10. 04. 2023)
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lunarfey · 7 months
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tag dump: ships.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   jason   /   riselazarus.   ›   ㅤㅤi will not have you without the darkness that hides within you.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   malee   /   goldenlilja.   ›   ㅤㅤyour laughter vines through my hair‚ roots growing into my heart.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   ace   / �� silverthirak.   ›   ㅤnights filled with worship‚ holding each other like a prayer unspoken.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   hope   /   tricursed.   ›   ㅤㅤi want to fill my mouth with your name‚ i want to eat you whole.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   stefan   /   salvatoraes.   ›   ㅤyou make me feel safer and warmer than the sun in the sky.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   francis   /   nightrsen.   ›   ㅤscatter my atoms across the universe and still they would know your name.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   rust   /   brightbrutality.   ›   ㅤi run my fingers over your soul and pour my love into each crack i find.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   kaey   /   hegrowth.   ›   ㅤyour hand on my back‚ slow tenderness to soothe me.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   jay   /   cripplemagics.   ›   ㅤㅤi twist like a sunflower at the sound of your voice.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   jesper   /   crowshoots.   ›   ㅤand in the middle of my chaos‚ there was you.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   liserne   /   lunedaepenid.   ›   ㅤi will always find my way back to you.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   tavern   /   devi1lute.   ›   ㅤin his arms i unfolded like a love note read in secret.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   remilia   /   maidmyth.   ›   ㅤi’m almost afraid of the intensity of this happiness.
♡ ˙ ˖ ✧   dynamic:   adam   /   finalslay.   ›   ㅤyou take me in your arms and suddenly there's sunlight all around me
#tag dump.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: jason / riselazarus. › ㅤㅤi will not have you without the darkness that hides within you.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: malee / goldenlilja. › ㅤㅤyour laughter vines through my hair‚ roots growing into my heart.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: ace / silverthirak. › ㅤnights filled with worship‚ holding each other like a prayer unspoken.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: hope / tricursed. › ㅤㅤi want to fill my mouth with your name‚ i want to eat you whole.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: stefan / salvatoraes. › ㅤyou make me feel safer and warmer than the sun in the sky.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: francis / nightrsen. › ㅤscatter my atoms across the universe and still they would know your name.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: kaey / hegrowth. › ㅤyour hand on my back‚ slow tenderness to soothe me.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: jay / cripplemagics. › ㅤㅤi twist like a sunflower at the sound of your voice.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: jesper / crowshoots. › ㅤand in the middle of my chaos‚ there was you.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: liserne / lunedaepenid. › ㅤi will always find my way back to you.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: tavern / devi1lute. › ㅤin his arms i unfolded like a love note read in secret.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: remilia / maidmyth. › ㅤif i had a flower for every time i thought of you‚ i could walk in my garden forever.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: adam / finalslay. › ㅤyou take me in your arms and suddenly there's sunlight all around me#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: rust / brightbrutality. › ㅤi run my fingers over your soul and pour my love into each crack i find.#♡ ˙ ˖ ✧ dynamic: remilia / maidmyth. › ㅤi’m almost afraid of the intensity of this happiness.
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elevensims · 2 years
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The Secret Garden
Found this quote from the book, which I only half read when young (a life theme). The book was for children. For children to be reading such existential philosophy as this quote exudes, is incredible. If I read this as a kid I would not, even nearly, comprehend the depths. 
We all watch films and read books as children and don’t fully understand their worth, or we miss the humour. But you reread or re-watch later and you are shocked at the jokes made or enlightened, or moved, by the worth you missed. This is an example of something fundamental completely missed as a child.
“One of the strange things about living in the world is that it is only now and then one is quite sure one is going to live forever and ever and ever. One knows it sometimes when one gets up at the tender solemn dawn-time and goes out and stands out and throws one’s head far back and looks up and up and watches the pale sky slowly changing and flushing and marvelous unknown things happening until the East almost makes one cry out and one’s heart stands still at the strange unchanging majesty of the rising of the sun–which has been happening every morning for thousands and thousands and thousands of years. One knows it then for a moment or so. And one knows it sometimes when one stands by oneself in a wood at sunset and the mysterious deep gold stillness slanting through and under the branches seems to be saying slowly again and again something one cannot quite hear, however much one tries. Then sometimes the immense quiet of the dark blue at night with the millions of stars waiting and watching makes one sure; and sometimes a sound of far-off music makes it true; and sometimes a look in someone’s eyes.” 
Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden
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rinhaler · 5 months
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𝐀𝐌 𝐈 (𝟐𝟓𝐅) 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 (𝟐𝟖𝐌)
i know it sounds bad but we got high and he's hot!!
✧˖*°࿐: 18+ only, no minors.    ✧. ┊ plug!ryomen sukuna x f!reader
Genre: porn with a plot Notes: thank u 2 @chososdoll for beta reading for me!! this is part of @ohkento's reddit-inspired collab! (ps this isnt a true form fic i just think he looks SEXY IN THAT PIC HNNNNGN) Warnings: 18+, dubcon, mean dom!sukuna, sub!reader, cheating, hate sex ♡, drug taking, weed smoking, blowbacks/shotgunning, heavy degradation, slight praise, fingering ♡, vaginal sex, sixty-nineing ♡, face sitting, squirting ♡, pussy spanking, noncon filming, coercion, manipulation, daddy!kink, creampie, cervix fucking. Words: 10.6k
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“I’ve heard about you.” Yuuji starts, turning his head from looking up at the stars to facing you. Your mind feels cloudy, but you return his stare. He thinks your pearly smile belongs in the sky; a permanent constellation to remind him of this moment. “How come this is my first time meeting you?”
You sigh, reaching over as he hands a lit spliff to you. The bonfire rages in front of you both, the smoke burning your eyes until they fill with water.
At least you have the perfect cover if you burst into tears.
“Things got… hard.” you tell him, not really wanting to elaborate. But golden-brown puppy dog eyes will you to continue. It’s stupid, really, how cliché people become when they smoke. You’re no exception. The intoxication and the setting make you feel as though you’re in an indie movie, longing to share your scars and become closer to the one attractive boy giving you his attention. “My ex, he cheated on me. I was with him for two years so it hurt.” you confess, taking a thick drag before passing it back to him, he tuts as he takes it from you.
“I’m really sorry,” he expresses, holding eye contact while he smokes. The feeling rushes straight to his head and through his blood. He laughs a little as he gets comfortable in his seat. “Sorry… I’m not laughing at you.” he clarifies, laughing again.
You start to laugh too, leaning over to grab the spliff from his hand before he sets the back garden on fire with it. Both of your attention is pulled from each other as you hear a scream from inside. The party is still going on indoors, and the scream soon turns into a girly laugh.
No doubt one of your friends flirting with one of the other guys.
“It’s okay.” you assure him, getting just as comfortable in your own seat as you smoke the remainder of the joint. You wrap yourself in the blanket you brought outside and turn your body slightly to face him. “It was with my best friend, too.” you continue, your deepest wound not seeming so scarring as you allow the high to expose your secrets on your behalf.
“Shit.” he shakes his head.
“I’ve been doing therapy and stuff so I’m better. I just wasn’t in the mood to see people…” you explain, jolting upright a little as you realise you’re oversharing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get so deep and make you feel uncomfortable.” you tell him.
“I’m fine, I’m the one who asked.” he chuckles, getting comfier under his own blanket as he turns to look at you.
His warm eyes make you feel relaxed, safe. And you hate it. You hate how much of a cliché you really are becoming and you hate that you can’t help it. This moment feels so much bigger than anything, but deep down, you’re paranoid, because you’re sure it’s the drugs talking.
You’ve heard about Yuuji, too.
You’ve heard about how sweet he is and how he doesn’t have a bad bone in his body. He has a sports scholarship of some kind, and after a quick stalk of his socials you noted how reflected this is in the form of his chiseled body. Could he really be so nice? He seems, perfect.
And apparently he, gives the best head.
“I have a secret.” he tells you, quietly. His voice almost drowned out by the crackling bonfire beside you. You aren’t sure what makes you heat up so quickly. The implication of his words or the way he said them. A lustful look in his eyes as the fire dances wildly beside you both.
“Yeah?” you tell him, cheeks fill with warmth as you try to ignore how fucking hot it is in pursuit of looking cool. And that makes you giggle, for some reason. Yuuji isn’t the one making you flush with heat, it’s the fire, idiot. “T-Tell me.” you encourage him, throwing off your blanket and fanning yourself dramatically.
So much for looking cool.
He grins, almost coyly, as he leans across the arm of his chair. And for some reason, you instinctively mirror him. Is it so secret that you need to be close? He might whisper it to you.
He tilts his head, smirking. His eyes flit from your eyes to your lips a few times. Enough times that you make a note of it. And your heart is fucking racing with each flicker of his gaze. You think you know what’s coming. But you stay still, watching him, waiting for him to make the first move.
“… I really wanna kiss you.” he admits. And if you weren’t hot before, you certainly are now. You try, and likely fail, to keep it cool. A wide grin spreads across your face and you burst into giggles. But your eyes meet his again, and you see a smile just as wide as yours on his face as he observes you.
“Yeah?” you ask, dumbly.
“Yeah.” he nods.
You gulp, shallowly, leaning in closer to him and letting your eyes fall closed. He smirks, again, leaning in until your lips meet. It’s sweet and passionate, until he pulls away. It surprises you a little. Worries you, even. Are you a bad kisser? Maybe you are when you’re high. But worry turns to astonishment as he pulls your chair closer to until the arms of both of your seats touch. He smirks, again, wrapping his arm around your neck as he leans in to kiss you.
And now, you really do hate yourself.
You moan into it.
You aren’t even sure where it came from. Was that really you? He grins, nonetheless, a feeling of pride swelling in his chest as his tongue meets yours in a more than welcome manner. You pull away, a string of spit connecting you both. A kiss infused daze covers your features as you look at him under heavy eyelids, and you pant, deeply.
“I have another secret.” he whispers, stealing another sweet kiss from your raw lips. Gloss smeared over your lip line and a dewiness transferred to his.
“Is it as good as the first?” you tease, giggling as his hand cups your face. You mewl, melting into his touch as his thumb strokes your cheek delicately. Your eyes widen. A look of curiosity replaces the majority of the lust, though you both know it’s still lurking.
“Well,” he starts, his eyes begin to wander. You observe him as his vision roams from the sky to the flames beside you. He takes his time, the anticipation of his words runs rampant through your bloodstream. Until, finally, he blesses you with his gaze once more. “I want to stay with you until the sun comes up. I want you to sit on my lap, with my cock inside you, under our blankets. All night.”
You’d hoped once he told you that your anxiety would have diminished. Though you’re sure with the way his eyes are fixated on your lips, your heart is surely surveying an escape route from your slack-jawed mouth as it pumps hard and violently through you. He doesn’t seem worried that you haven’t said a word, and his gaze doesn’t falter.
“Okay.” you nod.
It excites you. You haven’t been with anyone since your ex. And it might be a bad idea, but it doesn’t stop you. It’s not like you’re rushing into being with someone. It’s been months since things ended with your cheating ex-boyfriend. You stand up, bringing your blanket as you stand over Yuuji, and he holds your hips gently.
He feels under your skirt, smiling when he feels how soaked your panties are but he doesn’t comment. He moves them into the crease of your thigh and encourages you to straddle him.
You do.
Hovering slightly as he pulls down his joggers and his semi springs free. It’s big and pretty, like him. You kiss him as he jerks himself until he’s aching. He’s desperate to bury it inside of your gummy walls, his cock catches against your eager hole with every purposeful stroke.
He throws his head back as you sink down on him, and your hips stutter slightly from the stretch. You’re trying to focus on concealing your bodies with the fuzzy blanket wrapped around you, but your lips fly to his in a bid to silence yourself as he sheaths himself fully.
“Fuck, you’re tight… so wet, too.” he mumbles, hips rolling ever so slightly as he enjoys the feeling of being inside of you raw.
You jolt, panicked, as you hear a knock from the kitchen window. Both of your attention is stolen to see the origin, and you spot a group of partygoers hollering from inside. Two of his friends and one of yours, they all cheer and whoop as they can only assume what’s going on under the blanket.
Yuuji smiles, shaking his head before turning back to capture your lips in another soft kiss. You’re too distracted to notice him flip them off until they disappear.
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“Do I remember the night the most perfect woman in the world let me hit her raw after a few minutes of talking under the stars? Yes, baby, I remember the best night of my life, why?” Yuuji asks after you recall that first night you met. “Very cool of you, by the way. I didn’t think you were gonna say yes.”
You giggle, punching his arm softly as you curl into his side in bed. And you sigh, dreamily, thinking about it again. It’s been over a year since that night and you feel just as hazy around him as you did then. You were worried about him thinking of you as a one night stand. Worried that you’d just given in to this stranger for no real reason only to get your feelings hurt again.
But as the sun began to rise and wake you both up in that horrendously uncomfortable chair, he kissed your forehead and held you tightly against his chest. He stroked your hair until you managed to blink the blurriness from your eyes and see his in a new light. The crackle of the orange and white flames had gone from them. Instead, they were honeyed and soft. The kindest eyes you’d ever seen.
“The McDonald’s breakfast in the carpark was better than the sex in the garden, by the way.” you tease him, earning a tickle attack into your sides.
“Yeah, I’m sure that’s why you were begging me to fuck you in the backseat afterwards.” he laughs, stopping his assault as you begin to scream. You cuddle into him again, his fingers tracing over the flesh of your upper arm. “It was good though, really good. Should we order hash browns?”
“Yes.” you nod, excitedly.
He sits up and reaches over to his bedside cabinet to grab his phone. He sighs as he checks his notifications. You sigh, too, watching him as he gets out of your warm bed in search of his clothes.
So much for hash browns.
“Yuuji…” you start.
“Don’t start, please, I don’t wanna leave in a bad mood.” he tells you. He smirks when he realises you’re checking out his abs, only focusing on him again as he pulls his t-shirt over his head. “I don’t want to rush moving in just because you feel sorry for me.”
“I’m not rushing you, and I don’t feel sorry for you!” you tell him, shuffling onto your knees and crawling across the bed until you’re kneeling beside the edge of the mattress. “I hate your brother. He’s a creep and he treats you like shit. I have plenty of room here… you can move in here and have your own space and—”
“I know he’s a dick.” he agrees, pulling on his socks and slipping his feet into his sneakers. “But he’s my only family. I’m not just gonna ditch him. Why don’t you move in with me?” he wonders.
“Um… I live in a townhouse instead of an apartment and it’s better, it’s in a better neighbourhood and your brother isn’t here.” you smile, smugly, and it earns a chuckle from him.
“Okay, you’re right about that. Speaking of which though I can’t stay tonight but you can come over if you want. I’ll order those hash browns for you tomorrow when I’m on my to the gym. I’m booked with PT sessions my entire shift.”
“I’m not waking up at 6am to eat hash browns alone, Yuuji.” you roll your eyes.
“You can text me when you wake up and I’ll order them for you. Pleeeeease?” he flutters his eyelashes dramatically before kissing your forehead. “Good girl.”
“I didn’t say yes?” you respond, flabbergasted. “Is Sukuna gonna be there?”
“Well, yeah. He lives there.” Yuuji tells you, earning an eye roll from you. He is in complete agreement on how much his older brother sucks. He understands why you hate him. He’s irritating, he’s crass and seems to have no concept of personal space or privacy. Yuuji doesn’t care for his brother in the least, and he has no doubt the feeling is mutual. There is love there, of course, but only out of necessity. “You don’t seem to mind him when the family discount applies for weed, though. Interesting.” he says with faux suspicion.
“Okay, that is literally the only thing he’s good for.” you remind him. He laughs, agreeing.
He kisses your lips chastely, hurrying to grab his backpack to hurry home to his expectant brother. The only two reasons he ever leaves you in haste are for work, or for Sukuna. Today was meant to be a day you could spend together since you both have the day off.
But of course, Sukuna ruins everything.
YUUJI: FORGOT TO ASK YUUJI: ARE WE SMOKING TONIGHT? YOU: DUH! YUUJI: BETTER BE NICE TO SUKUNA FOR THAT FAMILY DISCOUNT THEN 😉
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You stand outside of your boyfriends apartment complex, shivering, waiting for somebody to answer the door. He ordered a taxi for you since he knows you always worry about your car getting broken into when you visit, his own car suffering numerous break-ins in the span of your relationship.
And really, you don’t want somebody to answer the door. You want it to be Yuuji, specifically, the thought of Sukuna answering the door and tormenting you until you get to the safety of Yuuji’s room is entirely too much to handle. Your nerves are already shredded by being here, the thought of having a battle of words with Sukuna will surely tip you over the edge.
“Oh, hey, I didn’t think you’d get here so quickly.” you hear a voice from behind you. You turn around to see Yuuji. Fuck. You see the hallway light flicker on from under the crack of the front door to his apartment and you realise too late that a demon has been summoned. “I went and got cookie ingredients, I thought we could bake some before we smoke later.”
“Sounds fun.” you smile, his sweet idea assuages the tension you feel, albeit briefly, before his elder brother swings open the front door. Yuuji pulls his lips into a thin line when you can barely contain the scoff that scratches through your throat. Sukuna rolls his eyes, moving aside to let you both in. He peaks inside the bag Yuuji is holding before his little brother smacks his hand away. “Do not touch or I will kill you.” Yuuji warns him, carrying the ingredients to the kitchen before putting them away.
You decide to help, hoping it will go quicker if you pitch in and you can escape his brother’s intimidating stare faster. Sukuna approaches, leaning over a counter as he watches you both.
“Nice of you to grace us with your presence, princess. It’s been a while.” Sukuna taunts, but you ignore him. He clacks his fingernails against the countertop, and the sound is jarring. He smirks when you shoot him a pointedly aggravated stare, giving him reason to do it more. “What do we owe the pleasure?”
You sigh, nostrils flaring as you put two bars of chocolate in the fridge.
“We’re just hanging out, gonna bake these cookies and smoke.” Yuuji answers for you. So you smile, falsely, and rest your back against the wall once you’re done. “Oh, speaking of which… family discount?”
“I’m busy now.” Sukuna looks at you and then back at his brother. “Ask me later.” he expresses, red eyes fixed on you for a moment before he turns to leave.
It’s like you can finally breathe again when you hear him go to his room and close the door. You kick yourself away from the wall and into Yuuji’s open arms. He smooths his heavy hand over your hair, hoping you’ll relax a little. He spends some time figuring out what you can do to pass some time, knowing you’ll need a distraction.
“Let’s just bake the cookies.” you speak, words muffled as you talk into his shirt. You pull away as he looks down at you so that you can speak to him clearly. “I just wanna stay in your room all night…”
“Sure, baby, whatever you want.” he nods. “Okay, lets get all of the ingredients out again.”
He takes his time trying to remember where everything is. You, on the other hand, are rushing to gather them all. Sukuna has a way of making your anxiety spike. He’s too… commandeering. He has a way of forcing everyone’s attention to remain solely on him whether you try to ignore him or not.
You’re intimidated by him, he’s more muscular than your boyfriend and he’s a drug dealer for fuck sake.
It brings shame to you when Yuuji has to snap his fingers to get you out of your trance as you think about his brother. You start cutting up the chocolate bars while he puts ingredients in the stand mixer.
And your mind wanders, again. It’s not like you’re scared of Sukuna. Well, you are, terrified would be more apt. But you know he wouldn’t do anything to you. He’d risk losing Yuuji. And as much as they don’t really get along, they’re extremely co-dependent. Especially Sukuna. He likes the presence of his little sibling and has a slight superiority complex due to being older.
The reality is, you think Sukuna would be lost without Yuuji. Lonely, even. And having Yuuji’s steady income is a nice sense of security for him. He makes plenty of money being a dealer, of course, but he knows it’s a fools game. It’s not reliable and it’s risky.
You put the chocolate chunks into the mixer and watch him as he masterfully fills the ingredients into the bowl. Your thoughts calm for a moment as you can do nought but watch the whisk whir.
“You know I wanna move in with you eventually, right?” Yuuji tells you, and it fully breaks you from your train of thought. You look at him, staying silent so that he can feel free to continue speaking. He leans against the counter as the ingredients continue to mix. “I wanna live with you… marry you… all that.”
His talk of marriage makes your cheeks fill with heat, though you’ve gotten better at playing things cool since your first encounter. You just smile, and nod, as you drink in the delicious information.
“I’m just worried about him.” he tilts his head, indicating he is referring to his elder brother. You nod in understanding, though you don’t have much sympathy for your future brother-in-law. The thought sends a shiver down your spine. “We aren’t like you, we don’t have a big family. It’s just us.”
“Well my family isn’t that—” you stop yourself, looking into Yuuji’s disappointed eyes. It’s foolish to pretend you aren’t blessed with an adoring family. You’re your parents only child, though. You can’t imagine what it’s like to have a sibling. And, of course, you’re spoilt rotten. The reality is that if you didn’t come from privilege, you and Yuuji could have been neighbours. But your parents weren’t about to let you live in a dangerous neighbourhood when they can easily afford to subsidise you. “It must be tough, baby. I know you feel guilty for wanting to leave him.” you rub your hand up and down his arm as a show of comfort.
“Yeah…”
“But…” you start, his eyes locking with yours again. “He’s a grown man, Yuuji. You’ve lived the same life and look at you now… You’re nothing like him.”
You’re right. He knows you are, that’s why you’re standing in silence until the timer goes off and he checks the ingredient bowl. It’s sticky. He scoops a little on his finger and dots it on your nose. The kitchen fills with laughter as you try to retaliate. He’s too fast for you, though.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry…” he tells you as the situation calms. He licks the chocolatey dough from your nose and presses a gentle kiss onto the tip. And dammit you can’t help but smile.
You begin rolling the dough into balls on a tray. The silence has dissipated, but your thoughts still run rampant. Should Sukuna really be Yuuji’s responsibility? No, of course not. But Yuuji won’t see it that way. He’s sensitive and caring. God, he cares so much.
It makes you dizzy as you watch him smile and walk with the cookies to the oven. They smell so great already, you could have eaten them raw. But they’ll be even better when they’re baked to perfection.
You’ve made these cookies so many times now. The pair of you have process committed to memory. They’re so good. Especially with a tall glass of milk. You always tease Yuuji when you do this since he’s always left with a milk moustache after devouring his plate of cookies.
The sound of the timer rings through the kitchen again. You clap excitedly as Yuuji covers his hands with some oven mitts. The chocolatey smell hits you both like a train, the pair of you moaning involuntarily as you inhale it. He brings them over to the countertop, setting them down to cool.
Sukuna smells it, too. He loves it when you bake cookies because he knows neither of you will deny him one. He’s been smoking and playing video games since he retreated to his room. He’s thoroughly stoned and would very much enjoy a sweet treat right about now. He pauses his game, and the sound of his door opening and closing brings back all of the tension to your body.
“Here.” Sukuna speaks as he enters the kitchen. He tosses a baggie onto the counter and looks at his brother expectantly. Yuuji nods, reaching into his pocket for his wallet so he can pay him. Sukuna’s eyes are fixed on you in the meantime. And as you go to grab the weed, he places his hand over it and pulls it back towards himself.
“Thanks, man.” Yuuji smiles, handing the cash to his brother who pockets it without even checking it’s right. Though Sukuna’s stare doesn’t waver, you find yourself looking down at his hand covering the weed and then turning away completely. He internally beams with pride at that, thrilled to know it’s still so easy to intimidate you. But on the outside it’s simply portrayed as a slight curve of the corner of his mouth. “Is something wrong?” Yuuji wonders.
“Yeah, actually,” Sukuna speaks, finding your eyes again before he looks into Yuuji’s. “I want a cookie, call it family tax.”
“Take two.” you tell him, sternly, a new ferocity in your eyes he hasn’t seen before. You walk over to them and place two cookies on a little plate for him. You go to hand it to him, but as he reaches out to grab them you place them down on the counter. “Let them cool.” you smile, sarcastically.
“Aren’t you sweet.” Sukuna snarls, teeth bared as he slides the plate towards himself. “Sweet enough for your turn. Pay up, you know what I want.” he chuckles. He turns his head and taps his finger against his cheek.
“C’mon, dude…” Yuuji tries to interject. You know Yuuji is furious, deep down. But he won’t call him out on it. Last time he did he wouldn’t give either of you any weed for two weeks. It wouldn’t be a problem if you knew anyone else you could buy from. And the shit Sukuna gets is good. Yuuji has given up on trying to be a dominating presence when it comes to living with his brother. Sukuna is always one step ahead and Yuuji can’t quite keep up.
You go to him, reluctantly, and plant a soft kiss to his cheek. It makes your skin crawl. He makes your skin crawl. And despite your sense of urgency to flee the scene, you can’t. His hand grabs your wrist, and Yuuji is ready to spring to action. Sukuna’s face is unbearably close to yours. His red eyes piercing your own as he does all he can to make you feel small and pathetic.
“That’s a good girl.” he sneers, placing the baggie on the top of your hand after releasing your wrist. He chuckles, darkly, as he walks away with his plate of cookies, taking a bite out of one before he disappears. He kicks his bedroom door shut behind himself, the sound of laughter and guns shooting loudly from his TV are the only thing either of you can hear.
“I’ll bring the cookies and clean up.” Yuuji sighs as he ventures to the sink. “Go and get comfy and pick a movie.”
You don’t say anything, leaving your boyfriend to tidy up in silence. You’re seething with rage. This isn’t right. He does this every single time you’re here and you buy a deal from him. And Yuuji just lets him. You know you neither of you have much choice if you want the access and ability to smoke. But it’s getting to you, badly.
Around fifteen minutes pass after you left the kitchen. You’ve since gotten into your sweatpants and comfortable vest. Shorts would have been preferable, since there’s still an uncomfortable sizzle to the November air, but you’ve learnt your lesson about what you wear when you visit the Itadori household. You’ve had Sukuna leer at your thighs more times than you can count. And it’s never subtle, his eyes lingering for a moment too long to have it potentially be an accident. It’s always so lecherous and purposeful.
You decide to watch Clueless, again. You’re sure Yuuji will be defeated when he sees your choice, he’s lost count of how many times you’ve watched it recently. It’s been a comfort movie to you, for some reason, since Halloween.
“Hey.” Yuuji smiles as he enters the room, somehow managing to carry two glasses of milk and two plates of cookies. “What are we watching?” he asks, looking at the TV. You rush to grab a plate and a glass from his hands to ease his load, putting them on your bedside cabinet as he does the same with his own.
“Clueless.” you smile, happily. “Her step-brother has been hitting really different for me, lately.”
He closes his eyes and stifles a sigh. You can see a laugh desperate to break free as his mouth shakes through a smile. But to his credit, he manages to compose himself, eyes opening again once the reality has set in. Clueless. Again!
“Sounds great baby.”
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It’s been a week since you last got to spent time with Yuuji. Your work schedules have been clashing, it feels like a lifetime since you got to spend any time together.
You enjoyed your hash browns in bed after he ordered them for you when you stayed over at his place. Though he ended up ordering Sukuna breakfast, too, leading to uncomfortable extended time with him that you prefer to avoid at all costs. He tried to make conversation with you, he often does, but you took it upon yourself to go back to bed with your hash browns. You tried to enjoy them. You tried to relax. But it’s near impossible when you’re under the same roof as someone you loathe. You watched a Youtube video on your phone while you ate, and then quickly got ready and booked a taxi home.
You’d hoped next time you got to see your boyfriend it would be at your house and away from Sukuna. But, alas, that was not the case. You received a text from him at 10am asking you to come over ASAP.
YOU: is something wrong??
YUUJI: no
YUUJI: just stressed
YUUJI: pls can u come? I’m working tomorrow so I cant stay over ☹️
YOU: okay ☹️ omw 💖
You’ve never had a text like this from him before, and it scared you. Something was telling you that he was downplaying how he was feeling. It took you barely any time to get ready. Forgoing makeup and making an effort in favour of rushing to your boyfriend’s side. Maybe something had happened at work.
Maybe he cheated on you.
He could be dying!
“Shut up…” you whisper to yourself as you pack your toothbrush into its travel case and throw it into your overnight bag. You pick up your car keys, not wanting to waste time waiting for a taxi.
You throw your bag on the passenger seat and speedily drive off. Your anxiety and the adrenaline was getting to you, you knew you’d have to calm down or you’d end up getting into an accident. As you focused on getting to your destination in one piece, you took several deep, slow breaths.
You’re safe.
You park up your car and lock it up. With your bag in tow, you rush to your boyfriend’s apartment. Your left foot taps impatiently after you knock on the door.
No answer.
You knock a little louder.
No answer.
And then you find yourself knocking louder, repeatedly, while you wait for your boyfriend to answer the door. He knew you were coming. He said it was urgent. So why are you waiting here, freezing, for him to answer the door? You’re filled with relief when you see his figure obscuring the light trickling through the cracks of the door. Your teeth chatter, and you begin stepping from foot to foot in a bid to warm through.
But your blood runs cold as the wrong Itadori opens the door.
“Heh. What do you want?” he asks, a cocky grin permeating his features.
“Move.” you demand, barging past him with your bag so that you can hurry to Yuuji’s side. Maybe something is wrong. He could be sick and resting in bed.
“He’s not here.” Sukuna informs you, halting you in your tracks. You turn to face him, a scowl that could kill adorning your face. Did he do something to him? All fear you’ve ever felt from him dies as you approach him, setting down your bag so that you can hit or punch or scratch him if needs be. “Relax.” he tells you.
“Where is he?”
“At work. I thought you had your entire relationship on a Google calendar, you didn’t know?” he laughs, angling his body so that he can bypass you in the skinny hallway. You huff a little, picking up your bag again so that you can follow him.
“But he asked me to come over, he said it was urgent.” you explain, though he doesn’t stop walking. You hurry after him, grabbing his arm until he stops. And he does, his eyes slowly dart down to where your hand holds onto his bicep until you awkwardly let go. “S-Sorry. I’m just confused. Why would he text me if he’s not even here?”
“Sweetheart, I’m not his PA. I don’t fucking know.” he turns away from you again, opening his bedroom door. You huff, again, utterly defeated as you try and decide what to do. You look towards his bedroom door and then to the entrance. You suppose you could go home until he finishes work. Or you could go to the gym he works at and find out what’s happening. You head towards the front door, thinking you’ll decide once you start driving. Sukuna hasn’t fully retreated into his room yet, leaning against his door frame as he calls out to you. “I’m making a bucket, want one?”
Your eyebrows knot as you turn to face him, another involuntary scoff turning to laughter as you look at him in disbelief. He’s got some nerve. You don’t even want to respond, opting to carry on your journey towards the entrance before you look at him again.
“Are you out of your fucking mind? I don’t want to smoke with you.” you roll your eyes.
“Awe, why not, princess? I won’t even add any tax.” he smirks, already heading towards the kitchen as if you’ve given him the answer he clearly wants to hear. And you hate him with your whole heart, because fuck, if you aren’t intrigued. It’s been a while since you’ve had a gravity bong. “Excellent choice, good girl.” he winks as he sees you out of the corner of his eye, as he grabs an empty one litre water bottle from beneath the sink.
You don’t say anything, leaning over the island counter as he prepares the bong for you both. It’s embarrassing, after some time, that you find yourself having to avert your gaze as realise you’ve been staring at his defined back muscles. He’d decided to forgo any form of clothing to cover his torso, only wearing a low riding pair of grey sweatpants, though they’re a darker grey than yours.
It isn’t much better as he whistles, tilting his head for you to join him by the sink. You’d close your eyes if it didn’t make you look like a complete freak, only to hide them from his flexing abs and his juicy pecs. The tattoos aren’t helping, either. It only serves as a reminder that you’re hopelessly trying not to ogle your boyfriends, older, larger, and scarier brother. He’s behaving interestingly, though. He’s never been like this before. He’s dismissive and almost uninterested in you.
“C’mere.” he orders you, dragging you closer to him as he lights the weed in the bowl. You gulp, a little intimidated. Gravity bongs are something you don’t partake in often, you can’t even remember the last time you did one. He moves his finger from the hole he’d poked into the bottle and the water begins to drain from it. Smoke fills the bottle in it’s wake, and when empty, he screws the lid off for you. “Quickly.”
You begin to inhale everything. Not caring how fucked up you feel in the least. You show no signs of stopping, and it impresses him. Your fingers hook around the kitchen counter as you finish, knowing when your bones feel like jelly that you’ve had too much.
“Atta girl,” he comments before repeating the process for himself. He pays you no mind as you wander towards the corner counter space, lifting yourself up like you’re the queen of the kitchen taking her throne.
He continues to ignore your presence as he smokes, inhaling and entirely draining the smoke that had filled the bottle. He tosses it into the sink, walking by you to grab a bag of ice from the freezer, filling two glasses to the brim with the frozen cubes. He fills them with water, sliding one to you.
“Drink.” he commands, and you do, not realising how thirsty you’d become. Your throat burning and eyes flooded with red veins. You drink the water and immediately need to refill. He shows you a kindness, though, handing you his glass to drink before filling your own again. “You’re a real lightweight, huh?”
“Oh shut up. I’m just gonna go.” you tell him, jumping down from the counter and going to collect your bag again.
“You can’t, you’re high.” he reminds you, and in your stoned state the sentence makes you burst into laughter. “You’ll end up crashing your car. Fool.” he gives you another glass of water, refilling his own for a second time before turning to leave the kitchen.
“Great, so I’m stuck here with you and nothing to do?” you pout, opening the fridge to see if there’s anything to eat. “Why did we not make cookies?” you mumble to yourself.
“I have snacks in my room.” Sukuna looks over his shoulder at you, like a snake offering an apple in the garden of Eden. You’re tempted. God, you’re tempted. What else are you going to do until Yuuji gets home? He grins, widely, as he hears your feet follow after him as he walks into his bedroom.
You’ve never been in here before. It’s quite tidy, all things considered. It’s very tidy, actually. You’d expected it to be some dimly lit shit hole. It smells nice, save for the weed, the windows are open wide and the sheets smell fresh as you sit on his bed.
He throws a sleeve of Oreos at you and you turn into a giddy child. The two of you kick off your shoes, not caring for where they land as you both get comfortable on his bed. You’re above the duvet, sitting adjacent to him but angled away with your legs crossed. He gets under the covers, though, picking up his Xbox controller as he mindlessly plays GTA V.
You spend far too much time licking the cream of your first Oreo, utterly entranced by the characters, the plot and the violence of the game he’s playing. He doesn’t seem to mind when you ask him a million questions about it, either. He’s more amused that you’re so clueless.
“Here,” he tosses the controller at you. “Go for a drive, it’s fun when you’re stoned.” he tells you.
You’ve played video games before, you aren’t a total idiot. Though he had expected you to ask for more help when he gave you the controller. He thinks it’s cute that you try to obey the speed limits and stop at every red light.
He reaches into his bedside cabinet, pulling out a joint. It’s ignited quickly, his eyes squinting as he inhales and watches the screen to make sure you’re not getting him into trouble on his game.
“You’re not bad when you’re high.” you tell him, passing the controller back to him. He takes it from you, saving his progress before reaching out to smoke again. He sits upright, and you barely react when he pulls you away from where you were sitting until you're facing him. “U-Um…”
He’s giving you a look. That look. The look Yuuji gave you when he told you he had a secret. God, they could be fucking twins if Sukuna wasn’t covered in tattoos, it’s scary. But he doesn’t say he has a secret; he doesn’t say a word. He simply watches you with a pondering stare, but an aim behind his eyes nonetheless.
Your own eyes shift when you see him bring the spliff from his ashtray to his lips. The cherry end of it igniting holds your focus before your eyes are on his again, enraptured by the moment and what he’s thinking. He sucks the smoke deep down into his lungs, and you can’t help but watch the way his chest moves from his heavy breath.
You gasp, softly, as he snatches your stare once again. His thumb and forefinger grasp your chin and tug downwards until your jaw is lowered. His face is barely a centimetre from yours, you know he’s going to kiss you. But why are you about to let him? His lips ghost yours, and you’re taken aback as you feel a plume of smoke invade your mouth. He’s impressed when you breathe it in, though, but smirks wildly as you begin to cough it up.
“You taste like cookies and cream.” he whispers into your ear, the sensation of his words rushes straight to your heat. But your sense comes back, pushing him away from you as you look sternly into his eyes.
“I didn’t say you could do that.” you remind him, preparing to move back to where you were sitting prior. But he stops you, easily, pushing your body down until your head is in his lap but over the duvet cover. “Sukuna…” you sigh, your head and your limbs feel too heavy to move on their own anymore.
“Mm?”
“I’m wi- I’m with Yuuji… I’m with your brother.” you remind him, you move your head a little so that you can look up at him. He doesn’t look at you, though, still focused on his game. You can hear dialogue again, and guns, you’re not as exciting in comparison to that, you suppose.
“I know.” he speaks, his jawline bulging as he swallows and clenches his teeth slightly. “Don’t tell me you thought I was gonna kiss you. Silly girl.” he speaks, still not bothering to grant you with the eye contact you’re so desperately craving for some reason.
But your body betrays you as a whimper escapes from your throat. And that does get his attention. His game pauses, and he looks down at you. But you hide your face, scrunching your eyes shut so he can’t read your expression. But your shy little display tells him all he needs to know.
“Oh? You minx,” he torments you further, and you want to scream. You can’t hide your face anymore, your cheeks becoming too warm and your entire body sizzling with heat. You’re panting, uncomfortably as you try and cool down. “You wanted me to kiss you. You’re with Yuuji, remember?”
“I didn’t! I- I- would never. I love Yuuji, I’m in love with him! I’d never kiss you. Yuck.” you fib, if you weren’t high, you know you’d never be in this predicament. You know you’d never have agreed to hang out with him. But really, it’s a lie. You weren’t high when he asked if you wanted to do buckets. He intrigued you, and you’re a fool, because you fell for it. Hook, line and sinker.
“Hm…” he hums, his spliff resting between his lips as his eyes linger on your cleavage before roaming down your body to your sweatpants. He places the blunt back in the ashtray, his eyes setting their sights on your hands. He moves one with ease above your head, though you instinctively pull it back. But it’s too late, the other one joins, a singular hand of his pin both of your wrists down above your head. You wriggle against him, but you don’t pose a challenge in the least.
“S-Sukuna?” you question as his fingers breach the waistline of your sweatpants. A sadistic smirk sprawls across his face as he realises in your haste to be here you’d not bothered putting on panties. You mewl, desperately, as his fingers find your petalled flesh. He doesn’t do much, simply feeling your slick and teasing your folds as he examines your facial expressions.
“You didn’t want me to kiss you?” he asks again. He drags two fingers up your slippery slit until he finds your clit, rubbing targeted circles around it slowly. The tension makes your hips buck, but his face is stern as he watches you keen for him. “Then why is this cunt soaked?”
His words almost bring you to tears, and he can tell. The way they fill with water so rapidly and your face becomes sweaty. You’re ashamed. You’re embarrassed. He’s humiliating you, but you’re too turned on to tell him to stop. You don’t want him to stop.
“I hate you!” you tell him, and there is certainly venom behind it. Because you mean it, you really fucking mean it. He’s the absolute worst. You’re so in love with Yuuji, but he’s ruined everything, now. You should have known this would happen. He’s been flirting and teasing and bothering you throughout your entire relationship with Yuuji. But you never thought it would come to this, ever. Especially after what you’ve been through, you’d never want to inflict that same agonising betrayal onto Yuuji.
“I know. You think I’m so beneath you, yeah?” he grins, and your mouth falls open in surprise, though his circling touch doesn’t stop. “I’m a drug dealer, I’m a bastard, I’m a piece of shit. But, sweetheart, me ‘n Yuuji didn’t grow up with daddy’s bank account like you. But look at you, princess. You hate me and you’re still letting me play with your sloppy cunt.”
“Fuck you.”
“You can, I know you want that. You’re drenched. My fuckin’ fingers are pruning.” he laughs, you want nothing more than to cover your face in shame, but you can’t while Sukuna’s heavy hand trap your wrists. “Awe, you’re cute when you’re embarrassed. Much cuter than when you’re trying to be tough f’me.” his rubbing halts, though the sense of abandonment is short lived as he plunges two thick fingers into you tight hole, his thumb rubbing circles into your clit again.
“O-Oh, fuck, hnng—” you groan, eyes meeting his as he pleasures you. And he drinks in the sight. Your tongue lolled from your mouth as you accommodate his touch, the pads of his fingers batter your g-spot again and again until your back arches. “Sukuna, s-stop, we can’t.” you warn him.
He smirks, ignoring you, opting to do the opposite. He increases the pace in which his fingers torment you, his cock leaks when he sees a few tears spill from your eyes. He’s that good, huh? Maybe his little brother isn’t as talented.
“You’re fucking tight. You’re gonna cum, aren’tcha?” he taunts you, you attempt to clamp your thighs around his hand, but it only spurs him on more. His fingers sink deeper. Your mind and rationale become lost to him. “You’re gonna cum for a bastard like me? Your boyfriends brother, too. Gonna cum in your pants like a virgin just for me? Pathetic little girl.”
“Oh FUCK, GOD!” you cry out, thighs trembling around his hand as you orgasm. Your chest heaves, and he doesn’t fail to notice how your nipples have began to poke through your vest. “C-Christ, okay, lets just forget—”
“I’m not done with you.” he speaks, it cuts through you as he lets your hands go. You massage them quickly, before he pushes his full weight on top of you as you lie flat against the mattress atop the sheets. He holds your jaw, roughly, and kisses you.
He humps his clothed, hard cock against your soaked sweatpants, your slick dampening them with each roll of his hips. He breathes heavily as you kiss. An exchange of saliva and clashing teeth as you moan and break away before licking at each other’s tongues again and again.
You shudder when you feel him put his hands down your pants again, collecting the dewiness at the apex of your thighs before forcing it onto your tongue. And you suck, gratefully, replacing the loss of his lips with his monstrously thick fingers. You can hardly believe he fingered you so easily.
Your lips wrap around his digits beautifully. He moans as he watches your little hands in comparison to his own hold it in place so you can bob your head up and down the length, your tongue licks and laves until there isn’t a trace of your dewiness left.
So he kisses you, again, tongues tangling as he dry fucks his cock into your clothed core. His hands roam and pinch and squeeze every inch of your body that he can grab. He yanks your sweatpants down, tossing them aside with little care to where they might land. And he surprises you, again, when he manoeuvres you seamlessly so that you’re straddling him.
He thinks it’s cute as you look around, unsure of how you got into this position. But he brings you back to him when he humps up into you so that you fall forwards. You kiss him again, but he breaks it to speak.
“Let me taste you, baby. Sit on my face.” he tells you. You’re nervous, but you move yourself so that you’re hovering above him. He pushes a finger into your hole and you throw your head back in satisfaction. “I said sit. I wanna know what a slutty princess cunt tastes like, so fucking sit.” he orders, his arms hooking around your thighs and forcing you down until you smother him with your heat.
“FUCK,” you moan, loudly, as his nose nudges against your throbbing clit. You aren’t sure what to do with so much freedom to move. The way he slurps and feasts on your dripping flesh sends wave after wave of embarrassment through you. And he’s loud he’s so fucking noisy as he moans into your heat and drinks every drop that your heavenly cunt has to offer. “J-Jesus… ah—!” you yelp, feeling his palm come down hard to strike your behind.
You begin to roll your hips, rubbing your pussy up and down over his face and stimulating your clit with his nose. He reaches under your vest, tweaking your nipple as you hump his face. He spanks you again, quickly, as you stop moving. You’re too gone, completely lost in the moment as you use him for your pleasure. You’d never have expected this from him.
He relinquishes your nipple to free his cock from it’s material prison. You heard the sticky sound of it ring through the room as he jerks himself off. His moaning becomes louder. The divine taste of your cunt and the ability to stroke himself goes straight to his head. You’re gone, you’re fucking gone. But he’s right behind you. The way you’re smothering him makes him lightheaded, but he’s not letting you go until he’s ready.
You see the pink silhouette of his cock as you look over your shoulder, but you’re desperate to get a better view. He groans, so loudly that you think he might have came, as you tug on his pink hair. Using it to your advantage as you ride his face into your next toe-curling orgasm. And at that, you do collapse. Practically singing his name as you cum in his mouth, only when you’ve reached your high does he let up on you.
He admires the view of your tits as you back up to look down at him, throwing your vest over your head as carelessly as he’s discarded your pants. His face is shimmering with your juices, and you feel another searing tidal wave of embarrassment as the reality sets in that you’ve done this to him. And you’re still cheating on your boyfriend. But you’re past the point of no return, you think. Yuuji is barely on your mind, all of your attention is on his brother, now.
And he’s still not through with you yet.
“Do you need some cock?” he asks.
“Y-Yes.” you nod, pathetically.
“Look at it, then. Look at my cock and beg for it.” he tells you.
You adjust your position so that you’re hovering above his face again but facing his cock perfectly. It’s beautiful, you think. More defined than Yuuji’s but around the same size and width. His cockhead is more prominent and the veins are unmissable. You’d have begged without even being asked if you’d gotten the chance to see it earlier.
“Go on,” he starts. You feel his hands between your shoulder blades and he pushes you down roughly. “Beg for my cock, whore.”
“Please, please Sukuna. I need you to fuck me.” you start, completely reduced to tears as you look at it as your mouth waters. You hold him with both hands, and you’re still unable to hold the entire length of it. “Wanna cum on you. W-Want you to b-bruise my cervix. Need to feel you inside, please, please please.” you’re practically sobbing as you continue.
“Kiss it.” he demands. “Worship my cock, and I’ll decide if your slutty cunt is worthy.” he tells you. Your eyes widen, but you kiss his tip without question. It’s so sweet and affectionate despite how sordid and lewd it is. But you can’t help it. It’s worthy of worship. You’re sure it’ll hurt, but you’ll take it. You don’t mind in the least.
You lick your tongue across his slit, poking your tongue into it slightly and relishing in how he hisses from the sensation. He buries his face in your cunt again, moaning into your soaking folds as you please him.
His length is freed from one of your hands, making the decision to cup his balls as your kiss down his shaft towards his pubis. His head is thrown back as you make contact with his balls, the grunt he releases is ethereal, you’d never have known such beautiful sounds could from him.
You scream, slightly, as he spanks your ass. It encourages you to take him down your throat and ignore your gag reflex and you bob and suck and run your tongue along each vein it can detect. He can barely focus on eating you out, too bewildered with your near pornographic performance.
“Such a good little cocksucker. No wonder Yuuji likes you.” he spanks you again. “Think he’d still like you if I told him I’ve been balls deep down your throat, slut? I’m not so sure. But I like you, a lot more now.”
“S-Shut up.” you tell him, defiantly. You silence him as you lower your pussy to his lips again, distracting him momentarily with your sweet taste.
You feel his cock flexing in your hand, like he’s ready to blow his load right down your willing throat. Even though you don’t want him to cum like this, you wouldn’t mind. You’ll swallow every last drop for him.
He stops you, though, shoving you away from him so that he doesn’t cum prematurely.
“Hands and knees, now.” he speaks coldly. He admires your face quickly before you get into the position he wants you in. It’s glistening with sweat, tears, spit, and his precum. “Good fucking girl.” he spanks you as you arch your back and wait patiently for him. Your legs spread apart and your cunt pulses in anticipation for him to slot himself inside.
He doesn’t though, not right away. Instead, he leans over to his beside table and pulls his phone off charge. He kneels behind you as he pulls up the camera app and swiping to video mode. His sweatpants are shoved down his thighs and rest at his knees. He takes a few photos of your glittering, pulsating cunt, spreading it open as his fingers dig into one of your ass cheeks.
“Pretty fuckin’ princess pussy…” he moans, and you mirror him, following it with a giggle. You feel a sense of pride at his praise, arching your back deeper. “Ohhh there she is, good girl, good little slut.”
He drags his cockhead through your shimmering folds, gasping each time it catches against your hole.
“P-Please fuck me, daddy, n-eed it.” you whine, earning another hard slap against your ass. He’s happy, of course. He didn’t expect you to be such a slut, he’d never have expected you to utter such a filthy title for him of all people. He’s certainly never heard you refer to Yuuji as daddy whenever he hears you fucking through the thin walls.
“You’ve got good manners, for a whore.” he speaks, your hole flutters with each word, but he sees how hard you clench as he degrades you. A new understanding of what your body likes. He’d only been doing it for his benefit, but now, he knows you like it too. “Do you like being a whore for daddy, hm?”
“Y-Yes,” you pant, “Love bein’ a whore for you, daddy…”
“Cute. I’ll give you my cock, then.” he pushes the tip in before pulling out completely again, chuckling at how whiny you are from the loss. “But you know, princess, good whores like to be cummed in. You’ll let me, won’t you?”
“Please… please cum inside. W-Want you to fill me up!” you tell him, and it’s enough. It’s more than enough to have him bullying his cock into your desperate cunt. You moan, boisterously from the stretch. You’re sure their neighbours won’t be happy if they’re home, the whole complex probably heard you. But you don’t care, and neither does he.
He’s glad that you said he could cum inside.
It’s not like you had a choice, though.
“Do you still want me to bruise your cervix?” he asks, angling the phone in his hand to capture how fucking deep he is inside of you. Your ass pressed flush against him as you swallow his cock hungrily. You nod, dumbly, yelping again when you feel a stinging slap against your cushioned ass. “Words.”
“Want you to br-uuise my c-cervix, daddy.” you wince.
“You’re such a good fuck toy, aren’t you?” he laughs.
He begins to pound into you, his brute strength and weight behind every aggressive pummel of his hips. It hurts, God, it fucking hurts as his tip nudges against your cervix. But you don’t care, you’re sure you will when you’re sober and your logical train of thought returns.
But now, in this moment, you truly are Sukuna’s fuck toy.
And it feels fucking sublime.
He captures on film the way that you moan and gasp and plead for something you aren’t even aware of. The way your hands grip into his pristine white sheets. But is favourite part is watching how your pussy stretches open as you swallow his coke can cock. And the way your ass ripples with each pulverizing thrust into you.
“F-Fuck,” he moans, “You’re fucking suffocating me.” he speaks, barely able to contain himself as he feels heady with lust. He doesn’t stop, though, he doesn’t care if you cum anymore. He’ll finger you again to finish you off if needs be, but for now, he needs to be selfish. Thoughts of filling you up and flooding your unprotected womb make him feral.
“Sukuna! S-Stop!” you warn him.
“Huh?” he responds, showing no intention of stopping or slowing as he rams his cock into you repeatedly. The only thing on his mind is finishing, he couldn’t care less about your change of heart or guilty conscience.
“F-Feels funny, I- I can’t! Hnnng—!” you finish, cunt squirting and gushing like a fountain all over him. “Oh my god…” you pant, burying your face in the pillows as you hide your shame from him.
“Holy fuck,” he responds, thrilled that he’d captured the moment on film. You show no signs of stopping either. You squirt as much as a backed-up teenager getting his first handjob. He spanks your pussy and rubs his hand all over it, making a complete mess of the two of you and the sheets below. “Dirty little squirter, hah? Fuck, you’re like a pornstar.” he tells you, chuckling again.
You don’t dare show your face, but you mewl into the pillows as you ride out the rest of your high as he shoves his cock back into you.
“Do it again, on my cock.” he demands.
“C-Can’t, can’t cum anymore.” you tell him, utterly spent and defeated as you allow him to use your body for his own benefit.
“Brat. You’ll cum on daddy’s cock and be grateful that I’ve been so good to you.” he explains. And true to his word, he manages to build it up in you again, somehow, as he continuously batters his length into your g-spot until your vision turns white.
He’s not doing much better, either, still enraptured by the sight of your dripping wet pussy and soiled sheets. It’s something he needs to see again, a sight he will treasure ‘til the day he fucking dies.
“Cum, slut. Make a fucking mess.” he speaks through gritted teeth.
“Mmmnf, hah, aaaah—!” you moan, granting his wish. The sight helps him topple over into his own bliss. His cum flooding your ruined walls, he fucks it further into you, but pulls out eventually to see his sperm dripping from your filthy cunt.
“Are you embarrassed, brat? You sprayed yourself again.” he snickers, spreading your pussy open with two fingers to see the mixture of his cum and your release spill from your twitching hole. “Has Yuuji ever made you do that? No… I’m sure he doesn’t know you’re this much of a dirty whore. But I do, I know now.”
The mere mention of the man you’ve betrayed has you bursting into tears. The sex was mind-blowing, yes, but at what cost? You’ve been begging him to move in. Hell, he was talking about marrying you. But you can’t have that with him, now, not after this.
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You sobered up a little after a shower, making sure to keep the door locked as you washed yourself of your indiscretion. You even waited in there until you dried off to get changed, not wanting to risk Sukuna seeing you naked again. The damage is done, of course, but you at least want to be able to proudly say it was a mistake that will never happen again.
Maybe Yuuji will forgive you.
There’s no way you can keep it from him. Not after what you went through. It’ll break his heart, of course it will. But you can’t hide it, it’ll just get worse over time when it eventually comes out, because it will. Whether you tell him or Sukuna does through a weed induced stupor, the truth will come out.
You’ve been checking the time on your phone repeatedly to see if Yuuji has finished work yet. Eager and filled with fear and anxiety so that you can tell him, honestly, what happened. He’s going to hate you. There’s no way he won’t hate you after this. But you owe it to him and you owe it to yourself to be truthful.
You tense up as you hear a knock at the door. Yuuji wouldn’t knock, so you know who it is.
“Go away.” you warn him, but it doesn’t deter him.
“Aw, don’t talk to daddy like that.” he smiles, a shit eating grin that you want to smash against concrete.
“You’ve ruined my life, get out of here.” you tell him, crossing your legs as you check the time on your phone again. You sigh, throwing it further down the bed so that it’s out of reach. You’d missed how he shrugged his shoulders with a laugh as he turned to leave. But you stop him. “Don’t tell Yuuji, please. I want to be the one to tell him.”
“Tell him… what?”
You look at him, bewildered, unable to process if he’s being serious or not.
“That we fucked.” you remind him, deciding you aren’t about to spend all day trying to decipher his tone. “I need to be the one to tell him, so don’t say anything.”
“Oh, tell him that?” he questions, laughing again as he realises he knows something you don’t know.
“It’s not fucking funny, Sukuna!”
“Yeah, it is, you’re a little slow on the uptake.” he laughs some more, sitting on the edge of the bed. His ruby red eyes piercing into yours intimidatingly despite the smile on his face. “You don’t need to tell Yuuji anything.”
“Yeah, I d—”
“Yuuji knows.” he laughs, louder, almost bursting into hysterics as he sees the astonished look on your face.
“W-What?” you sigh, looking around the room in horror.
“Yeah… I mean, c’mon.” he smirks. “Why else would he text you to come over, when he wasn’t even home?”
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tapeskingdom · 8 months
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l0uubiinaa · 9 months
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"Sometimes all you need to do is to turn the right way to see that the whole world is a garden" 💜
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perlelune · 2 months
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Cruel Summer | Felix Catton
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Your mother's money issues make it hard for you to enjoy your summer at Saltburn. Thankfully your cousin is there to comfort you. But what happens when you realize his interest in you isn't just familial concern?
Warnings: DUB-CON, NON-CON, Start! Reader, Incest, Secret Relationship, Manipulation, Corruption, Innocent Reader, Drugs, Smoking, Filming
This is a dark story. Heed warnings before reading under the cut.
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Your eyes round as they absorb the massive castle and the vast, lush gardens surrounding it. As you drag your suitcase behind you, you can’t quell the urge to admire everything. Even the towering, perfectly symmetrical trees lining the path to the iron gates. It’s been years since you visited Saltburn, but you don’t remember it being so big or intimidating. 
Still, you bask in the chirping of birds and the brightness of the sky above you. You’re compelled to admit it. The English countryside is lovely, a haven away from the pollution and noise of the city. A sharp contrast to the familiar chaos you’re used to back home. The uproar of traffic, from the honking to the shouting. The endless stream of people strutting down the streets. The gigantic ads and the skyscrapers that graze the stars.
A city that never rests or stops for anyone.
While this is home, it all can be so overwhelming. There never is time to just…breathe and be. Here, as you look at your surroundings, you figure it’s all there is to do. Breathe and be.
You push the small iron door on the side, astonished to find it ajar. Did they leave it open for you? You doubt it however. From what Mom told you, consideration for others isn’t one of your aunt and uncle’s strong suits. They’re too wrapped up in their “posh little world”. One your mom isn’t a part of anymore. And neither are you, as you’ve been raised overseas.
As for your brother…well he’s another matter. Shipped from school to school thanks to Uncle James’ “bottomless well of generosity”, he is a free spirit. Seas apart from you in every possible way. 
Ever since you were young, the pressure to succeed has gripped you tight and never released you. When others partied and experimented, you were nose deep in your books, stressing over finishing every assignment on time and acing every test. It paid off. You were accepted into your school of choice this summer, with a scholarship no less. 
Slacking off isn’t an option for you.
While your brother has a sort of safety net, you’re not so close with that side of your family. You’re their estranged American niece, one they haven’t seen in over a decade.
In fact, you’ve no idea how you’ll be received.
The long walk to the castle is harrowing but gives you time to comb through your memories. You were so little the last time you visited. Still, foggy remembrance floods your thoughts. You played with your cousins by the pond. Made up stories and ran around the fields. You even faintly recall skinning your knees when one of them dared you to try and climb all the way to the top of the stone stairs beneath the stained glass window. You slipped for a long time and wept on the floor, you think. Auntie Elspeth scolded her children and you for playing dangerous games.
Their cherubic faces flicker in your mind.
There were two of them.
A little boy with dark hair and a gummy smile. A blonde girl who giggled all the time. And of course, your brother.
When you’ve reached the castle’s front door, you suck in a wide breath. Before you can even knock on the tall, black doors, they swing open in front of you.
A surprised exhale spills from your throat. 
Swallowing, you fall back. 
Hands behind his back, a stern man in a suit runs his gaze over you. He is so still, for a minute, you wonder if he’s real.
But then he speaks. “Are you lost, miss?” he asks.
You shift, a surge of inadequacy filling you. Still, you clear your throat and give a tremulous answer.
“Hi. I…I’m here to visit my family.”
The man doesn’t budge, still pinning you with his unflinching stare. Sweat breaks out on your back. Are you at the right place?
“The Cattons,” you offer, an awkward smile stretching your lips. “My brother should already be here.” You start rummaging through your backpack to pull out a map. “This is Saltburn, right? Auntie Elspeth sent me the itinerary but perhaps I-”
He cuts you off, seeming almost annoyed with you.
“Right, you’re…earlier than we expected, Ms. Start.”
“I could come back later-”
“The gates aren’t open. We’d have sent someone to pick you up.”
You glance back, dumbfounded. The gates were definitely open, weren’t they? Or perhaps that little door wasn’t supposed to be crossed. Your cheeks flame. The elaborate rules your wealthy relatives abide by are already eluding you. 
Your shoulders heave and fall.
“It’s okay, it wasn’t that long a walk.”
The man stiffly allows you in. You note the two black men standing by the door. They haven’t uttered a single word, blending into the background. Always seen but never heard. You believe your brother mentioned something like that in his sporadic texts and letters. Your gaze tears from them. The inside of Saltburn is even more majestic, a thing you didn’t think possible. Standing in a museum wouldn’t be much different, you suppose, between the antiques sitting on shelves, paintings hanging on the walls and crystal chandeliers hovering above you. 
So, this is what generational wealth looks like. 
When you were little, you didn’t notice this. You were too busy playing. Now, it’s all you can see. 
“Just leave your bag there. Someone will get it for you,” the man says.
“Someone, as in…”
“Someone,” he repeats, staunchly refusing to elaborate.
The grip on the handle of your suitcase tightens. 
“I really don’t need it. I can carry it myself.”
The man considers you, his face twitching as if you just spat in it. Your insides stir in confusion. All you’ve said is that you don’t mind carrying your own luggage. 
The loud utterance of your name has your head snapping sideways.
Your mouth falls open when a towering, young man in a yellow shirt around your age strides in your direction.
He halts in front of the stern man, chiding him with a playful lilt in his tone.
“Really Duncan? You’re scaring the poor girl. Duncan, stop being so terrifying. She’s family.” 
“Well, I shall try.” 
You note the subtle warmth in the man’s tone as he addresses the newcomer.
He turns to you, beaming. Your stomach flutters. “Cousin, try not to be too terrified of Duncan.”
You’re taken aback when he grabs the hand gripping the suitcase. His large hand completely engulfs yours. 
“I’ll show her to her room. Don’t worry,” he chimes. He pulls you away and you’re forced to keep up with his long, enthusiastic strides. He tosses you a glance, laughing when you sort of hop behind him. “Sorry about that. Duncan’s a bit odd, but he’s alright, you’ll see.”
“And you are…?”
Disappointment creeps on his face at your question. He spreads a hand over his chest.
“Felix, your cousin. Golly, you don’t remember me? Really? That kind of hurts.”
Your eyes grow. The picture in your mind was that of a chubby-cheeked, clumsy little boy. Your cousin definitely isn’t that anymore.
“Oh my god, yes! Felix. You don’t have a lisp anymore and…You’re like a giant now.”
A smug expression lights his features.
“Puberty.”
You laugh in response. “Yeah, I guess we all grew up.”
A strange glint fleets across his gaze as he gives you a quick once over.
“Clearly,” he says, his smile expanding.
He shows you around the estate. You can’t suppress your awe when he mentions Henry VIII, surprised Saltburn’s history stretches that far back. The library also radiates ancient and priceless, countless rare leather-bound books sitting on the shelves. A smile creeps on your face when Felix greets the ghost of your grandmother.
He takes you through a vertiginous amount of hallways until taking you to what will be your room. It’s apparently right next to Venetia’s. You glance around, expecting another long lost cousin to pop up perhaps. But it’s just you and Felix in the vast bedroom.
He leans against the doorjamb while you soak in the room and the massive bed, large enough to welcome three or four people. It’s nothing like your tiny bed at home or the one in your college dorm. This is something you never had, and that is just Felix and Venetia’s normal. It makes you speechless.
You drop your backpack on the floor at the foot of the bed.
The mattress bounces as you plop down on it. You let your fingers skim over the blissfully soft sheets.
Your contemplation is abbreviated by the ringing of your phone. You flip it open. The screen lights up, signaling a new message received. You type on the glowing arrows to find out it’s from Mom. 
Remember to ask your aunt and uncle for what we talked about. 
I really need you, sweetie. 
You unleash a heavy breath. Your mom is the one who pressured you to go on this trip. Ever since her brother’s regular payments have dried up, your mother’s been relentless. She keeps claiming she wants her share of the trust and your uncle argues that she used all of it. First, she recruited Farleigh to speak on her behalf. Your brother’s attempts have met little success however. So your mother enlisted you. 
You don’t know what more you can do that your brother couldn’t, but you can never say no to anything your mother asks. 
“Is something wrong?” Felix inquires, making his way to your bed to sit near you. The scent of his pricey cologne tingles your nose. 
“It's nothing,” you lie. “Just Mom asking if my arrival’s been smooth.”
Your cousin seems like the living embodiment of sunshine, just like you remember. If possible, you want to keep him out of the money issues between your mom and Uncle James.
Felix tilts his head as he studies you.
“It’s kinda funny.”
“What?”
“The way you say ‘mum’”
A laugh peals from your lips. 
“I guess I’m gonna have to get used to my accent being made fun of.”
Felix shrugs. “My mum will think it’s exotic.”
You cringe inside. You never liked that word, how it makes you feel like an animal in a zoo.
Switching topics, you ask, “Is my brother around? I haven’t seen him in forever.”
“Ah, Farleigh’s probably skulking about somewhere.”
You chew on your bottom lip. “I don’t know what to say to him.”
Felix collects the book poking through the zipper of your backpack. He flips through the stained pages of your copy of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood prince. You accidentally spilled coffee on it during a late night study session.
“You could talk to him about this,” he offers, waving the book. “We’ve kind of been passing around Venetia’s copy. Although I tend to skip to the most interesting parts, but don’t tell everyone else.”
You smile.
“Your secret’s safe with me,” you reply solemnly.
He watches you for a long time, long enough for your gaze to find the floor as your face heats.
“It’s really good having you here with us, cousin. I mean it.”
You fidget in your spot. “Thanks.”
Felix flashes you a mischievous grin.
“But I’ll need to make sure you remember me this time.”
The rest of the day is spent reconnecting with your other relatives. Everyone gathers in the library and you get to meet Venetia, realizing she too has changed a lot since you were kids. 
Oliver, Felix’s friend from Oxford is also there. From your cousin’s broad explanations, it appears he’s grieving the loss of one of his parents, so he invited him to make sure he isn’t alone. It’s unbelievably kind. Besides, you’re guessing from Oliver’s lost puppy dog stares and awkward manners, that he’s as out of place as you are here. Instant sympathy blooms inside you when you’re introduced to him.
A woman named Pamela is also in attendance. She is Aunt Elpseth’s close friend, though it’d be hard to tell, the way she orders her around like a servant and exposes the long list of tragedies her love life has been to the entire room.
A saying about friends and enemies flutters through your mind as you witness their interactions. It’s such a bizarre spectacle, watching this red-haired woman, dead behind the eyes, bend over backwards for your aunt. You don’t remember Aunt Elspeth being this cold-blooded.
And naturally, there is your brother. Farleigh. Aloof in the back, apart from the Cattons, your eyes collide from across the room. He smiles at you. You smile back. Warmth flows through you.
It’ll be a while before you’re comfortable around each other again. It pains you to say, but you don’t know your own brother all that well anymore.
Dinner’s a strangely formal affair. Everyone’s dressed to the nines, giving the family gathering more of a cocktail party vibe than that of a family dinner. Venetia lends you a dress so you aren’t the odd one out. You thank her profusely. All you packed when you left America are jeans and a few pairs of shorts. It never occurred to you that you’d need any kind of formal wear since you figured you would be around family. 
But you failed to take into account said family is also a part of British high society. 
Awkwardness fills you as you hesitate over the utensils, the different kinds of knives and forks making you dizzy. You don’t want to make a fool of yourself on the first day. Seeming to grasp your predicament, Venetia nudges your elbow when you grip the right fork and knife. 
You mutter a quiet ‘thanks’ and she winks at you. 
Several courses are brought on silver platters, one after the other. The entire time, you focus on your plate, swallowing every bland, flavorless bite.
Stiff conversation is exchanged at the table, most of it centering on Aunt Elspeth’s dour-looking friend. Once more, compassion flutters through you.
It’s blatant to everyone at the table that Pamela isn’t wanted at Saltburn anymore.
It’s a relief when dinner concludes and you can return to your bedroom.
You sit by the large window in your room to admire the night sky. Between the skyscrapers and artificial lights, it’s hard finding a spot to look at the stars in New York. Here however, you can make out constellations and various other glittering shapes.
Venetia joins you on the windowsill. She takes a long drag of her cigarette and blows smoke on the window. She shoots you a cheeky smile.
“So, do you regret coming already?” she teases.
You fiddle with your hands. 
“It’s fine. Everyone’s nice. It’s…kind of unreal being here.”
“Just remember this is your home too.”
You mull it over. It is becoming clear to you how much you don’t fit in with the Cattons, despite sharing blood with them. You wonder if it’s how your brother has felt all these years. Like an outsider amidst his own kin. Although, you have to admit he looked quite comfortable at dinner. Far more than you, definitely.
“I’ll…try to remember that.” You hesitate, gnawing on your lip before speaking again. “Is Pamela gonna be okay, you think?”
Venetia shrugs.
“I think she’ll be alright.”
Your lips purse. Who knows how that haunted woman will fare once she’s on her own in the world again? You’re not too hopeful. But it seems like Aunt Elspeth is done with her, so it cannot be helped you suppose.
“If you say so.” You tilt your head at your cousin, dropping casually. “Do you think Uncle James is still up?”
“At this hour, Daddy will be in his study.”
You nod and get to your feet. Wandering the halls of Saltburn at night is a peculiar experience. The shadows clinging to the walls seem to follow your every step. Dusty slices of moonlight spill from the windows, bringing the stern portraits of your distant relatives to life, the aged hues of the paintings shifting in the dim light.  If you didn’t know any better, you’d think you're being watched. The back of your neck tingles as the sound of your fearful steps echoes in the vast halls. A breeze of cool air seeps through your clothes. You tug on the cardigan Venetia let you borrow from her closet, hurrying your pace. 
For a long time, you spin in circles, growing desperate to find your uncle’s study. Your spirits sour. You followed Venetia’s instructions to the letter yet you got lost. A left, a right, straight along the green room, then…another right?
You frown. Now you can’t remember. Why does every hallway look the same here?
Astray in your own mind, you carelessly bump into a hard object. 
You lift your gaze. Your jaw drops.
“Felix,” you exclaim, placing a hand over your heaving chest. “You scared me.” 
Mirth glints in his brown orbs.
“Lost, cousin?”
Avoiding his eyes, you scratch your am.
“Well, this is embarrassing,” you mumble.
Felix chuckles and seizes your arm. 
“It’s not. It’s easy to get lost here.” You gasp as he pulls you alongside him. “Just tell me where you need to go and I’ll show you the way.”
Too dumbstruck by his abrupt appearance, you let Felix drag you through the somber hallways. The sharp twists and turns he takes make your head spin. There is no way you’d have found the study on your own. 
He halts in front of two mahogany doors. Your feet bounce as your hand lingers on the brass handles.
Felix knocks on the door and your heart leaps.
“I’ll wait for you here, so you don’t get lost again,” he says.
“You don’t have to,” you squeak.
He leans over you and smiles.
“I insist, cousin. I have to prove to you not all of us are completely horrible…despite what you may have seen.”
Your face warms.
“T-Thank you.”
James’ voice rises from inside the room, giving you permission to enter. You nod at Felix and take shaky steps inside the study. The crackle of logs burning away reaches you. The swaying flames mingle with the shadows, casting a faint orange glow on the room. 
“Uncle James, may I speak to you?” you bashfully inquire.
He lowers his round glasses and puts down the notebook in his hands.
“Of course. Anytime, love. Have a seat.”
“Is something troubling you, child?”
You gulp the lump stuck in your throat, staring at your lap for a while before you meet your uncle’s gaze again. You shift in your seat.
You don’t know how to ask or, more precisely, the appropriate way to ask. A wide lungful enters your lungs. Why delay the inevitable?
You elect to dive right into your reason to be here.
“My mother. Well, she was wondering…” Your nerves buzz as your uncle’s sharp eyes cut into you. You clear your throat before continuing. “We were wondering if there were issues on your side because she hasn’t…” Sweat blooms inside your palms as your voice dwindles to a whisper. “Well, you haven’t sent anything like you usually do and it’s been two months now.”
A heavy coat of silence falls over the study. After a while, your uncle unleashes a deep sigh.
“And she sent you to vouch for her.”
“I’m sorry.” Your shoulders slump. “Mom, she…She isn’t really good with money.” This is a massive understatement, and from the way Uncle James’ eyes bear into yours, it’s clear that he’s also aware of that fact. As much as you love your mom, she’s never been the most responsible with money, often squandering it on flashy things and pretty clothes. More than once growing up, she fell short on a bill and you couldn’t even shower before going to school. “If you could help this one time, then I’ll figure something out for her. I promise.”
“And how do you plan on doing that, young lady?” your uncle challenges.
“I…I’ll find a way. We always find a way.”
“You’re a very good daughter, which I can appreciate…” Your pulse races as you wait with bated breath. “But I’ve given your mother more than enough for her to get on her feet. Still, she always asks for more.”
Your heart plummets. The finality laced in his tone didn’t elude you. Why did you even think you could sway your uncle’s opinion in any way when your own brother, who has been around the Cattons for years, couldn’t accomplish that feat?
“She has issues…but I promise, uncle, she’ll get herself together this time,” you offer.
“I will give it some thought.”
He flashes you a sympathetic smile. You recognize its meaning right away. It’s strikingly similar to the one Aunt Elspeth gave her “friend” at the dinner table. 
Understanding you are being dismissed, you get up from the chair and bid your uncle good night.
“Thank you for listening,” you say glumly before leaving.
As Felix escorts you back to your bedroom, you can’t help but notice that Uncle James never once referred to your mother as his sister.
You frankly doubt he will give what you said any semblance of thought. In fact, you wouldn’t be surprised if that entire conversation vanished from his head the second you stepped out of his study.
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The rest of the week goes smoothly. Lazy summer days with your cousins and brother fly by in a hazy blur. Hanging by the pond beneath the sizzling sun. Displaying your terrible tennis playing skills to the entire group. Scary movie nights with the whole family during which Venetia and Felix laugh at you because you watch most of the film through your fingers and hide your face in a pillow whenever the monster appears.
It’s nice. You start thinking that reuniting with your extended family for the summer wasn’t such a rotten idea.
You nearly forget your mother. Nearly.
Though with the daily messages you receive detailing the squalor she’s living in, it’s impossible to forget. Guilt grows within you each day.
“She’s been texting you too?” Farleigh asks as he sits at the edge of the tennis court next to you. He’s still in his tux while you’re still wearing one of Venetia’s sparkly dresses, as all of you decided to sneak out of Aunt Elspeth’s uptight dinner party to catch the sunset and play a game of tennis. One thing you’ve come to learn about your cousins. They do whatever the hell they want, whenever the hell they want. Part of you envies that. The carefree knowledge that whatever mess you make, someone will clean up behind you…discreetly and in silence at that.
You flip your phone shut and sigh.
“Nonstop.” You sag in the chair. “I’ve done all I can.”
“Yeah…Me too.”
“I feel awful.”
You’re taken aback when your brother says, “Don’t. This isn’t your fault.”
You tentatively reach over his armchair to squeeze his hand.
“It’s not yours either,” you assure softly. Your brother shocks you when his fingers wrap around yours. You don’t think you held hands like this since you were toddlers. You were always the clingy one, following after your big brother like a lost puppy.
You and your brother remain like this for a while, eyes trailing the downward race of the sun over the horizon. 
When night falls, you’re surprised to find a tall, familiar form slipping through the wall of your bedroom. 
“Felix!” He puts a finger over his lips as a sign to lower your voice. It instantly dips to a whisper. “How did you get here?”
Amusement paints Felix’s features at your flabbergasted expression. He clicks the door shut. 
You blink. Once closed, the secret entrance blends seamlessly into the wall. There is no way you could have known this was here.
“Secret passageway. Old castles like Saltburn have plenty of them,” he explains, crawling over your bed.
“Oh.” 
As your eyes drag over his frame and you note that Felix’s just in his shorts, fire creeps inside your cheeks. Of course, you’ve seen your cousin in trunks but usually, it’s around the entire group. For some reason, a sliver of discomfort pools within you. You look away and clear your throat.
“Is it…okay for you to be here?”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s just that…nothing.”
A deep chuckle peals from his chest. The mattress bounces as Felix lets himself fall onto your sheets. He makes himself comfortable on the pillow near you, putting his hands behind his head as a lazy smile spreads on his lips.
“Don’t be silly. We’re family. It’s like when we were little and we’d all sleep in the same bed.”
You can’t help but smile at that. He’s right; you’re overreacting.
“Right. That was so fun.”
He lies on his side, elbow bent as he buries one hand in his tousled brown curls. 
“You used to have nightmares so you’d always sneak into my bed or Farleigh’s.”
“Now that you’re saying it, I think I remember that.”
“You’re still as cute as I remember.” Felix’s brown eyes twinkle as he drinks you in. “No…Even cuter.”
“Thanks.”
He approaches you and starts playing with the hem of your cotton shorts, twiddling the fabric between his forefinger and thumb.
Brown eyes dive right into yours.
“I saw you with Farleigh today. You looked sad.”
You shake your head.
“It’s nothing…just got some stuff on my mind.”
Felix’s smile dies.
“You also looked sad when you left Dad’s office the other day.”
You bristle. “It’s nothing important, really.”
“Your mom?” he inquires. When you don’t reply, Felix’s knuckles sweep over your outer thigh, his deep timbre softening, “You can trust me, cousin.”
You unleash a sharp, audible breath, budding tears tickling your eyelids.
“It’s just a lot. She’s asking things from me that I don’t know if I can do much about.”
Felix collects one of your stray tears with his thumb. He then snatches your hands from your lap and clutches them in his. They completely swallow yours.
“She shouldn’t ask anything of you. It’s not fair. You’re her daughter. She should protect you. Not the other way around.”
You sniffle. “I don’t know. It’s just been me and my mom for so long. Especially after Farleigh decided to stay in England most of the time. So I feel like…I need to take care of her, you know? Because she always took care of me.”
He cups your cheek, wiping more of your tears.
“You’re far too sweet for your own good, cousin.”
Felix then sits up and conjures a lighter and a blunt from the back pocket of his shorts.
You gawk at him as he lights it in front of you, taking a deep drag before blowing smoke in your face.
Your stomach tingles when he offers it to you.
“I don’t know if I should…”
Felix’s timbre lowers seductively as he grabs your hand and slips the roll between your fingers. Even holding it doesn’t feel right.
“Come on, you’ll feel better. It’ll free your mind. No thoughts. No troubles. Just…light and happy.”
“That sounds amazing,” you mumble.
“Then try a puff.”
You bring the blunt to your mouth and immediately cough.
“You gotta go slow,” he chuckles. Once you’ve retrieved your breath, he nudges it against your mouth again.  “Here, another.”
The room begins to swirl around you. You lie back, a heady, cotton-like sensation spreading from your head to your toes.
“Damn…” you whisper as your limbs slacken, the tension in your body slowly melting away.
Felix lies back next to you, his grin growing.
“See? That’s why you should always listen to me, cousin.”
It becomes a habit, Felix sneaking into your room and the two of you smoking in your bed every night. Him slipping through the secret door doesn’t even faze you anymore, and your reservations about getting high evaporate a little more with every puff you inhale. The serene sensation and warm tingles you get afterwards are entirely too pleasant. 
It’s something you’ve never experienced. Letting go. For a few precious minutes, the burdens on your shoulders can vanish.
You don’t tell Venetia, or even Farleigh. You still remember him going full big brother mode that one day when you tried to join the rest of them when they hung out naked in the field. The Cattons siblings laughed as you were escorted away, burning from head to toe at the humiliation.
You don’t want a repeat of that. Always being the good girl is exhausting. Not that your brother would understand. He gets to live life on his own terms. Get kicked out from as many schools as he likes. Charm his way through the world. You don’t. For once, you want to revel in doing something…a little forbidden. Something the nerdy, party-avert, studious girl you forced yourself to be all these years would never do.
So the nightly meetups become you and Felix’s secret.
It’s all casual, harmless fun. Until, one night,  everything changes. As your head lolls back on the pillows, your gaze fixated on the ceiling, your cousin’s fingers dance over your half-exposed belly.
“Feeling better?” he mutters, his voice low and secretive.
“Yeah.”
“I know a way you can feel even better.”
You don’t think much of it. Not even when he slithers across the sheets, finding his way between your legs. He tugs your shorts down, slowly, until you’re down to your panties in front of him. The rush of cool air on your skin makes you tremble.
“Felix, what are you doing?” you chuckle, high enough not to fully register what’s going on.
A playful smile ghosts over your cousin’s lips. He blows on your clothed center and the sensation draws a giggle from you, even as a faint layer of panic is trying to pierce through the haze.
“You seemed so stressed today. It’ll help you relax…” he promises, trailing sluggish kisses up your inner thigh. As his lips travel upward, your stomach clenches. He hooks two fingers inside your panties to push them aside.
Your cousin’s gaze darkens, his smile broadening, as he basks in the sight of your bare, shuddering folds. He licks his lips before kissing the center of you. 
Your limbs tense as Felix starts unraveling you with his tongue. He licks a stripe over your folds, his tongue tarrying over your tender bud. The breath catches in your throat. He traces slow circles over your button, tearing a soft gasp from you everytime he suckles the sensitive spot between his lips.
Felix hums while his head bobs between your thighs.
A tingly, warm feeling starts blooming in your core, scattering to your entire body. Hot and irresistible. A wave of heat that slowly takes over your entire frame.
You clutch the sheets.
Your eyes rise to the heavens as heat pulses through your core.
“No, Felix, this is… this is wrong,” you wheeze out between aching breaths. 
His devious laughter ripples through your core. 
“I’m just trying to make you feel good. How can that be wrong, cousin?” he says innocently, before flicking his tongue over your folds. He spreads you even more, dipping in and out of you as quiet shouts rip from your throat. Your back curves over the sheets. Your lids flutter as you peer at the ceiling unseeingly. 
His sinful baritone nudges you to your undoing.
“Just let go. It’s okay. It’s just me.”
You quake, the tense heat growing too much to bear. Your insides coil. Sparks erupt from your center, traveling outward. Your body goes limp as you collapse over the sheets, dazed and breathless. Tears of arousal trickle from your core and your cousin greedily savors every wayward drop. Shame scalds your insides as you feel him lap up your nectar, your wide gaze glued to the ceiling.
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The next morning, panic rushes through you as your eyes snap open.
“Hey, hey, you don’t need to freak out,” Felix says lightly, pulling you against him from behind. His hand settles over your rapidly moving chest. 
“Last night…” you say, choking on a sob as you recall bits and pieces. You were so damn high. Still, you’re pretty sure what you think happened…happened. Even in your own head, you can’t put it into words. You rub your thighs. Stickiness lingers there from Felix’s ravenous tongue. Shame burns in your gut.
As you try to climb off the bed, Felix yanks you back. He slams you down on your back. Your heart jumps as he looms over you, his broad body easily caging yours. 
He frames your chin, drawing your attention to him.
“We just had some fun, you and I,” he says, thumb tracing your quivering lip. “That’s all. No one ever has to know.”
Tears well up in your eyes as you keep pulling on your tiny camisole, pathetically attempting to cover your nakedness. Felix chuckles.
“Gosh, you really need to stop being so uptight, pretty cousin.”
He drops a quick peck on your cheek before dragging his lips over your earshell.
“It’s okay. We’ll work on loosening you up.”
For a few days, Felix doesn’t visit your room again. You’re thankful for that. You can barely meet your cousin’s gaze now, the fear of someone finding out what happened eating you alive. You can’t imagine coming back after so many years only to cause havoc and drama.
Your mom would be so disappointed. Your brother would be livid.
So you do as Felix says. You keep your lips firmly sealed. It’s not like it’ll go further than that anyway. The two of you were high, that’s what you keep telling yourself.
None of this would have happened otherwise.
Unfortunately, your meticulously crafted wall of denial explodes when your cousin shows up again one night.
You tremble as your eyes rest on him. Felix smiles at you, pushing the secret door closed. You note the camera dangling from his neck. The entire day was spent snapping pictures to remember the summer. You took so many silly ones with Venetia and your brother. For a while, you let yourself forget. Felix took most of the pictures today, appearing in very few himself. You just didn’t expect him to still be wearing it this late.
“Hey.”
“Hey,” you reply shyly.
“How are you feeling today?”
Your lips clamp shut. Today was awful. Apparently your mom might be getting evicted soon. She hasn’t stopped texting you about it the entire day, and even some of the night because of the time difference. You feel so dauntingly powerless…and awful. You’re staying in a literal castle while your mom might be homeless soon.
“I’m good.”
He takes lithe steps towards you, his handsome face twisting in sympathy as he plops down on your bed. He removes the camera from around his neck and tosses it over your pillows.
“No you’re not. You’re still worried about your mom. You were checking your phone all day today.”
You bring your knees close to your chest.
“It’s fine, Felix.”
Felix sighs, concern swimming in his brown gaze.
“No, it’s not fine.” His fingers roam over your ankle as he lies on his side. “You know…” Felix pauses, eyes holding yours. “I could talk to my dad if you want. He never refuses me anything.” He flashes a sunny grin. “After all, I’m his precious boy. His firstborn son.”
You gape at him. 
“You really would do that for my mom?”
Felix sits up and closes the distance between the two of you. He bends over you, placing his large hands over your feet. You follow the stars tattoos etched atop his hand; his sister has the same ones if you recall.
His knees graze your ankles as he says, “Not for your mom. For you, cousin. So that frown on your face can finally…” He flicks your brow with his thumb and laughs. “...disappear. Like magic.”
You consider Felix, relief and awe storming through you.
Without giving it much thought, you toss your arms around his neck.
“Thank you so much,” you exclaim.
“Of course…” His fingers travel along your spine. “I’d just have a little favor to ask in return.”
“Sure, anything,” you answer easily.
He pulls back, lacing his fingers with yours.
“It’s not much.”
The heady scent of his cologne washes over you as he leans forward.
“I’ve been aching somewhere lately and I need you to make it better, cousin.”
“Oh, aching…where?”
“I think it’s best if I just show you.”
A foreboding inkling flares in your gut. Still, you don’t move as Felix “shows you”. He tugs on his shorts. He slowly pulls on the fabric, shimmying out of it as you hold your breath. When his length springs free, you unleash a small squeak. Your reaction drags a laugh out of Felix.
Though you don’t really want to, you can’t help but stare. It’s thick and long with veins running alongside the shaft. The tip points upward, glistening and red.
“I don’t know if I can help with…something like that,” you mumble, your voice wavering at the end.
“Sure you can.”
He lifts your chin, diving his eyes into yours.
“I just need somewhere warm, and soft, to slip the tip of my cock so it doesn’t hurt anymore.”
Shock parts your lips.
“Felix…”
He hooks his thumb inside your open mouth, a lopsided grin stretching on his face.
“Come on, it’ll just be the tip, I promise. Then we never have to talk about it anymore. You won’t even feel it, I swear.”
“Just the…tip?” you say, your throat knotting as your gaze drifts down. You take in Felix’s size, swallowing thickly. It matches the rest of him, you suppose. You don’t even think it could fit, not fully. So just the tip is probably for the best. “Nothing more?”
“Just the tip. And I’ll talk to my dad first thing in the morning.” He strokes your cheek, uttering softly, “I bet your mom will be so happy for what you did for her.”
You heave out a deep, resigned breath. Right, your mom. While you’re not too comfortable with what Felix is asking for, if it means he’ll talk to Uncle James, you don’t have it in you to refuse. A favor for a favor. Then you’ll spend the rest of the summer forgetting it ever happened. You can do that. 
You peer up at Felix. 
“Okay then but don’t…stay too long.”
He beams at you. 
“You’re amazing.” 
Felix leans back. He removes his shorts fully, revealing himself in all his naked glory.
“Just lay back for me, cousin,” he instructs. He slants his head, satisfaction filling his gaze when you do as he says. “Open those perfect legs of yours.” His pupils swell with lust as you part your quivering thighs. 
“Good girl,” he praises. 
Felix crawls over you. You freeze. He grips the waistband of your pajama bottoms to slide them off your legs. He takes his time, agonizingly slow as he soaks in every tiny shift on your face. Horror curls your insides. You wish he’d just get it over with. But it’s clear Felix wishes to enjoy every mortifying second of this. 
Your panties are next. Once again, he drags it out. Warmth blooms in your face as cool air hits your bare folds. It’s worse than last time, because there’s nothing to dull your senses, or pretend it isn’t happening.
“Don’t close your legs. I want to see everything,” he says when you try to hide from him. His throat bobs, hunger lurking in his eyes as he licks his lips. “You have a really pretty pussy, you know that, cousin?”
“Please, don’t say things like that.”
“Why not?”
“B-Because it’s embarrassing.”
He smirks. 
“You’re so fucking cute.”
Your cousin plucks the discarded camera and points it at your face. The blinding light sears your eyelids as he quickly snaps a series of pictures of you in the compromising position.
Adrenaline pumps through your veins, your pulse soaring.
“W-Why did you just take a picture?”
“Because I want to remember you like this.” 
He chortles as you try to snatch the camera from his hands, keeping it out of your reach with ease with his long arm.
“Delete it, Felix,” you plead. 
He tilts his head, his expression dripping with mischief.
“Sure, if you do everything I say, I’ll delete it.”
Tears brim beneath your lashes. You want to trust Felix. You really do. But he always asks for more. You wonder where it’ll end, if it ever will.
“You promise?”
“Of course. I’d never lie to you, cousin.”
He places the camera on the floor near the bed. If you thought you could get past him, destroy the camera, you would. However you’re beginning to realize something about Felix. He always gets his way. 
He crawls his way to you. You don’t resist as Felix nudges you down, trapping you beneath him. The fitful drumming of your heart fills your ears. 
He bends down, stealing your lips in a heated kiss. His lips sweep over yours, hungry, feverish. He cups the side of your face, moaning as he explores your mouth. His hands start wandering over your body. They feel everywhere at once, kneading and teasing your flesh. Felix pulls your top over your head so you’re in nothing but your bra. 
He deepens the kiss, his tongue stealing your air and sanity. You melt beneath him. 
The air is robbed from your lungs when he starts prodding at your entrance. Your fingers clench around the sheets. His thick tip stretches you so much already. You can barely take it.
His voice comes out hoarse and strained.
“You feel so bloody good.”
He pushes a bit more. You tense, your walls aching at his size. Your tearful gaze rises to the ceiling. Felix seizes your chin, pulling it so your eyes lock with his.
“Look at me,” he instructs.
He piledrives into you, sheathing himself inside you completely. Your vision flickers as he finds the hilt of you. Your lips part in a silent scream. Your chest heaves and falls quickly. 
“Felix, you said…”
He shushes you, pinning both of your wrists above your head as he begins moving inside you. A wicked glow burns in Felix’s brown gaze. “I know what I said…but it feels too good inside you, cousin.”
“But you promised...” you sob. 
He kisses away your tears, his voice mellowing.
“I’m sorry,” he says after thrusting inside you deeply. “I’m so sorry…” Your toes flex, stars creeping in your sight with each of your cousin’s vigorous thrusts. His pace doesn’t relent, even as you weep and plead him with your eyes. He almost seems to pluck joy from your quiet helplessness. His chest brushes over yours as his lips ghost over your earshell. “But I don’t think I can stop.”
Your breathing quickens. As Felix’s cock grazes along your sensitive spots, little whimpers spill from your throat. He drapes one hand over your mouth, still pounding inside you. 
“Shh, be quiet for me, cousin. Wouldn’t want anyone to hear us, right?”
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“I think our uncle likes you better than me.”
You look at your brother through your sunglasses. You’re thankful for them. They’ve done a nice job concealing the puffiness of your eyes. You’ve been crying a lot lately. Too often. It started the night Felix snuck into your room and the flood hasn’t really stopped since. All of it turns your stomach. The lying, the sneaking around…the sick, twisted lies. His sick, twisted lies. It was supposed to just be one time.
Felix deceived you.
Every night since that one, your cousin found his way into your room, coaxing you to do things that make you hate yourself afterwards. It’s even slowly escalated to daily trysts. Felix would conjure excuses to steal you away while your other relatives are blissfully unaware. Having his way with you in a dark corner. Fingering you in the library. Cornering you in the maze to taste the nectar between your legs. Your cousin seems determined to make sure no inch of Saltburn isn’t tainted by his wicked desires.
This is a nightmare.
Your mom was so overjoyed on the phone after receiving Uncle James’ payment. And you’re glad you could help. But the cost…Did your mother’s happiness have to occur at your expense? You’re so exhausted, ashamed. You don’t know how long you can stand to be the vessel for your cousin’s lurid fantasies.
Even proper rest is denied to you now, the fear of someone figuring it out keeping you wide awake for hours every night.
“I doubt that,” you say, your lips curving in a stilted smile.
Farleigh leans back in his lounge chair, pushing his sunglasses over his nose.
“Still, good job, little sis.” A wide grin blooms on his face. “Guess being a goody two-shoes has its perks.”
Your chest clenches at your brother’s remark.
As Felix’s eyes find yours from across the pond, your blood freezes. He smiles at you. Goosebumps erupt on your skin. You shift, your attention returning to your brother.
“I-I don’t know about that.”
You thought the awfulness reached its peak. You were wrong. A new brand of twisted is introduced by Felix during breakfast with the entire family.
He sits next to you, smiling at you. You don’t think much of it. Why would you? He’s done this before. Taunt you. Tease you. Torment you. Even in front of the rest of them.
But what he does today, while Aunt Elspeth sits across from you and your brother is on your other side…it’s just ghastly. Impious.
Felix’s digits roam atop your thigh. You shoot him a glare. He pointedly ignores you, carrying a casual conversation with his mom while playing with the hem of your dress.
You focus on your plate. He caresses the inside of your thigh as you bring the fork to your lips.
He presses two fingers against your clothed center. Pushing, pressing and swirling around your tender bud. Your knees rub, heat gathering at the apex of your thighs.
The metal of the fork damn near shatters your teeth as you choke on a mouthful of eggs.
You apologize swiftly, shakily grabbing the glass of water near your plate. You take a long swig from it and clear your throat. Felix’s digits dip further inside you. Your breath hitches. He stops just shy of letting you come apart, bringing you to the cusp only to retreat at the very last second. A meticulously thought out torture.
It lasts for almost the entirety of breakfast, only reaching an end when Venetia rises from the table. You follow right after her, excusing yourself with a tense smile.
Hollow steps take you through an endless series of hallways. You can hardly even think, the enormity of what your cousin just did in front of his parents, in front of everyone, shocking you into numbness. Where will his depravity end? You long for summer to end so perhaps you can finally be free from your cousin.
You wind up in an empty room brimming with dusty books and antiques. You sit in a corner, knees against your chest, as you revel in a rare moment of respite. You don’t get these as often anymore. Not if your cousin has anything to say about it.
As usual, it doesn’t take long for Felix to find you a little later. Your heart skips a beat when his towering frame darkens the doorway, blocking any chance of an escape.
“Playing hide and seek, cousin?” he teases, amusement laced in his voice.
Tears swim in your eyes as you shoot him an accusing look.
“At breakfast, really? Someone could have seen, Felix. M-My brother, he could have seen.”
Rolling his eyes, he hops towards you to take a seat next to you. His rebuttal is disturbingly nonchalant.
“We’re not gonna get caught.”
“I think we should stop,” you sputter, your mouth wobbling. 
His brows squeeze together, a mix of annoyance and confusion twisting his features.
“Why?”
You fiddle with the bottom of your dress, struggling to meet his irate stare. 
“I’m grateful for everything you did, really, but this doesn’t feel right.”
His cheek pulses, a strange grin dragging his lips upward. Your stomach sinks. 
“We’re just having fun, you and I, cousin.”
Your words warp into a watery croak.
“This isn’t fun, Felix.”
A weary sigh drops from his chest. 
“It’s because you’re overthinking it,” he says, reaching out to cup your cheek. You turn your head. Frustration flickers in your cousin’s eyes. As you try to stand, he grabs you and shoves you on the floor. 
“Felix, no…”
Ignoring your sniveling pleas, Felix hastily unzips his jeans and yanks your underwear down to your ankles. 
A strangled sob flows from your lips as he nestles himself inside your wet heat in a single deep, cruel thrust. 
You’re a whimpering mess on the floor as your cousin pounds into you from behind. 
“Just stop fighting it,” he grunts. He twists his fist in your hair, your scalp singing in pain when he tugs at your roots. Tears stream down your face while your cousin snaps his pelvis into your ass. 
“See? This is good.” His warm, heavy exhales tickle your nape. “Doesn’t my cock inside you feel good, cousin?”
“Yes…” you begrudgingly admit, loathing how every time he sinks into you, your toes curl and your eyes roll back on their own, warm tingles dancing through your core.
“Look outside.” You wince as he angles your chin towards the window, his other hand still tangled in your hair. You’re greeted with a beautiful sight of the lush gardens sprawling before the castle. His hot whisper grazes your temple. “Do you see all this? How beautiful Saltburn is…especially in the summer.” His smile carves into your skin.
“One day, all of this will be mine, cousin.” He plants a soft kiss on your cheek. Shivers course through your spine. “And it could be yours too… if you behave.”
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metalhoops · 1 year
Text
Steve’s party trick was appearing sober long past the point of inebriation. 
It was an act he’d perfected through observation. He’d watched his mother down wine like water and waltz into a garden party looking sober as a saint. So when everything went down at the Starcourt Mall, with the drugs and the appearance of another burgeoning concussion-induced migraine fogging the edges of his vision, he’d pushed through with professional tact. 
Steve couldn’t explain how it happened. One moment he was sitting on the kitchen counter, cradling a bag of frozen peas to his bare face, freezer burn nipping at the edges of his consciousness, and the next he was sprawled out on the carpet of a stranger’s house. 
What happened in between, he’d never know. 
Maybe it was for the best. Ignorance was bliss, in Steve’s opinion. His life was so much easier before the Upside Down. He would’ve been a worse person and lived a worse life. Yet his life would’ve been close to normal, not the mercurial mess it’d become.  He wouldn’t have spent the night locked in a secret underground soviet bunker, his face doubling as a punching bag for a man he didn’t know, while monsters roamed about the town. 
The mall had burned down, Steve remembered. After all was said and done, Mrs Byers dropped him and Robin off at their respective homes. Steve insisted he didn’t need to go to the hospital, that he was fine and, more importantly, that his parents were home. When Robin sobered up, she’d realise Steve had lied.
He’d told Robin a lot of things, and after the night in the mall, so had she. She knew Steve’s parents had been out of town for months, but she’d been flying too high to use any of her admittedly brilliant brain to put two and two together. Steve loved Robin. He loved her differently after that night, but he still loved her. He was human. He needed time to lick his wounds and some space. The quiet of the Harrington house had seemed like a blessing, so where the hell was he now?
“Hey, what did you take?” A vaguely familiar voice shook Steve from his stupor. 
He rolled away from the sound, burying his face in the carpet. He cringed as a  spark of pain shot through the veiled numbness that’d inhabited his body since the Russian drugs had hijacked his system. 
“Ouch,” Steve grumbled miserably. 
His head throbbed. One eye was entirely swollen shut. Even if Steve was sober, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to place the boy through his hazy vision. All he could make out were colours, pale skin, dark hair, and darker clothes. 
“I know. I know. You’ve got a real shiner, Harrington. Come on, up,” the boy instructed. 
Steve felt cool skin graze against the nape of his neck, pulling him up into a sitting position. Steve remained boneless, not making the task easy. 
He felt separate from his body, not sure where he ended and the rest of the world began. Once pulled up, he kept falling forward, his face making contact with the dark fabric of the boy’s shirt. The boy was more comfortable than the floor, with less carpet burn and more smooth leather. He smelled of smoke, sweat and an earthy kind of cologne that hadn’t been refreshed in hours.
“Elevator up,” Steve chuckled, laughing too hard for his own good. 
His ribs ached. He felt a laugh shudder through the boy’s body as he pulled Steve back, trying to get a better look at him. He held a finger in front of Steve’s face. 
“Not sure what this is meant to do but I’ve seen it in movies,” the boy commented as he moved his finger right to left, inspecting Steve’s face for something, neither boy was quite sure of. 
“Alright. You’ve gotta know I’m the least likely person to narc on you, Harrington. What did you take? Special K? Some Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds? Were you Chasing the Dragon? Gotta be something stronger than weed, man,” the boy insisted. 
Steve screwed up his nose and moved away from the man. 
“I don’t know what you’re saying,” Steve complained, trying to untangle the string of words the guy had thrown his way. 
Steve staggered to his feet, swaying before propping himself up, leaning against the wall, and feeling the whole thing tilt under his weight. 
“Dude, your walls are broken,” Steve muttered, as his legs gave out and he slid down to the floor. 
“We’re in a trailer, Steve,” the boy pointed out. Steve looked around the place, trying to make shapes from the blurs of colour and light. 
“Oh yeah,” He noted before resting his chin on his knee. 
The boy sat down in front of him, mirroring Steve’s posture, his chin resting on the bare knees of his ripped jeans. 
“Do you know what you took?” He pushed on, this time taking a different approach. 
“No,” Steve admitted, at last, sliding forward. 
The boy’s rings had caught his attention. They were little halos of light. He curiously tugged at his hand, pulling him close to examine the shine. He ran his fingers over the rise and fall of the rings. 
“Okay,” the dark-haired boy breathed, seemingly to himself. 
“I think you need to go to the hospital, dude.” 
“No hospitals,” Steve remarked eloquently as he returned to his previous position, face down on the carpet, taking the boy's hand with him. 
“Yeah well, I’m not so sure I like the idea of you sleeping either, Stevie,” He reasoned, his voice sounding strangled.   
“I’m tired,” Steve rebutted, his eyes sliding shut. 
There the boy was again, taking Steve’s face into his palm and pulling him up. For a moment, the vision in his good eye cleared enough to make out brown eyes painted with concern. 
“Look, I know we hated each other’s guts in high school but I don’t want you to O.D. on my carpet. It’s not good for the ambience,” the boy continued. 
Steve squinted, trying to place the face. Sure, he’d been a jerk in high school, particularly before his senior year, but he didn’t remember hating anyone. Not really. Maybe Jonathan, for a time, but that had passed. 
Munson. Steve’s brain supplied at last. The boy was Eddie Munson. He sold drugs and hung out on the fringes of Steve’s bigger parties back in the peak of his ‘King Steve’ era. 
“You hated me?” Steve asked, hearing the hurt in his voice before he realised what he was feeling. Eddie’s eyes widened in alarm, Steve’s face still in his palm. 
“What? No. I thought you hated me. I mean, you were a jock and I’ve got my whole ‘fuck the man shtick’, so it wasn’t like we ran in the same circles,” Eddie elaborated. 
“Jocks are ‘the man’?” Steve questioned. He’d like to blame the drugs, but he’d probably ask the question sober. 
“No. Yes. Kind of. Jocks are like... the grease for a cog in the wheel of the machine. All mass compliance to societal norms... or whatever.” 
Steve blinked owlishly at Eddie, trying to make a lick of sense out of what he’d said before resigning himself to the fact that he was completely lost. 
“I like Grease. It’s a cool movie,” he settled on, startling another laugh out of Eddie. He gently lowered Steve’s face onto the carpet and sighed. 
“Yeah, it’s a cool movie,” he muttered, leaving Steve for a moment, tossing sheets and a pillow from the sofa to the floor beside him. 
“Look, I’m going to stay up and make sure you don’t choke on your own tongue. You can stay here for the night, but I’m not letting you crash until my uncle gives you the thumbs up, weirdo.” 
Eddie slid a cushion beneath Steve’s head and draped the sheet over him. Steve was bone tired. He wanted nothing more than to sleep, but the pain in his body was growing by the moment and less favourable memories were leaking back into the forefront of his mind. He watched as Eddie placed a tape into the VCR and sat down beside Steve. It took him too long to realise the film was Grease. 
“Who’d you get into a fight with this time?” Eddie asked, seemingly aware of Steve’s sudden restlessness. 
Steve didn’t answer. He didn’t know how to. 
“Were the drugs before or after?” He pushed, searching for something Steve couldn’t work out.
Again, Steve didn’t know how to answer. Once more, Eddie let it slide. 
“You want me to call anyone? A girlfriend... or?” He doesn’t mention Steve’s parents. 
Maybe he was at more parties than Steve remembered, enough to know that the Harringtons being in Hawkins was rarer than a blue moon, less frequent than even Steve would admit to. 
“No,” Steve grumbled, starting to feel the swelling in his lip. 
Eddie nodded and let Steve have his silence. He half paid attention to the flashing lights on the screen, fading in and out of consciousness. Eddie would gently elbow his side each time Steve almost reached sleep. It was a long night, broken only by the opening of a door come sunrise. 
The light was too bright, too sudden. Steve shrunk from it curling into the closest point of dark comfort. Steve realised too late he’d curled himself into a small ball, tucking his face into the familiar darkness provided by Eddie’s crossed legs. 
“What in the Sam Hill have you gotten into, kid?” Steve heard a gruff voice ask in the doorway. Despite his words, the man didn’t sound angry, more amused. 
Steve felt Eddie pull the sheets up to hide his broken face from the light. 
“You know when I was fourteen, and I brought home that stray cat?” Eddie asked. 
Steve heard a door shutting and the scrape of a dining chair sliding against the linoleum. 
“The one that was sick as a dog?” The gruff voice replied. Probably Eddie’s uncle. 
“Same situation,” Eddie spoke.
“You’re telling me you found a kid wanderin’ round the trailer park at night and thought you’d bring him home? You remember what happened to that cat, right?” His uncle asked. 
“He went missing after a week. Then we found him half-kickin’ curled up in the back seat of the Johnsons’ cinder-blocked Austin,” Eddie muttered, stating the words as though it were a conversation Eddie and his uncle had before.  
“And you didn’t leave your room for a week.” 
“Your point, old man?” Eddie remarked.
“My point is, I love you, kid. But sometimes your bleeding heart is more trouble than it’s worth.” 
To Steve’s surprise, the sheet was pulled off his head. The next thing he knew he was face to face with Eddie’s uncle. The man shone a torch in Steve’s eyes, echoing Eddie’s movements, placing a finger in front of his eyes. Eddie watched in silence at Steve’s side. 
“He’s got a pretty bad concussion,” Eddie’s uncle supplied after a beat. 
“He was on something when I found him,” Eddie said. 
Steve was getting sick of people talking about him like he wasn’t there but in the same vein, he wanted to convalesce in peace. Eddie’s uncle shot him a sceptical look.
“Nothing I gave him, promise. He’s not letting me take him to the hospital.” 
“He’s right here,” Steve interjected.
He watched as Eddie’s uncle levelled him under his intense gaze. For the first time since he’d entered the room, he wasn’t seeing symptoms, or a problem Eddie had dropped in his lap but a boy. A kid, in Wayne’s eyes, one that looked worse for wear. It was the goddamn cat all over again. 
“I’m going to get you water and some aspirin. Eds, get some rest. No buts, kid you look like you haven’t slept a wink. Should also be safe enough for you to try to get some shut-eye, boy. I’m not Eddie, you can’t bat your eyes at me and get your way. I’m taking you to the hospital if anything happens, right?” 
Steve looked at the man with narrowly masked surprise before giving him a weak nod. He couldn’t imagine his parents doing the same, not even for one of Steve’s friends, let alone a stranger. 
“Come on, you can sleep in my room,” Eddie uttered, springing to his feet with a joviality that someone who’d gone twenty-four hours without sleep shouldn’t be able to muster. 
Steve blinked, slowly standing and gathering the sheets around himself, acutely aware of how ridiculous he looked. 
“Keep the door open,” Wayne called at their retreating backs. 
That was how Steve spent the summer of ‘85 hauled up and healing at the Munsons’ trailer. A few months later, he’d return the favour. When Eddie went missing, Wayne knew where to look. 
5K notes · View notes
azshighlady · 17 days
Note
Hey, I just found your site and really like your writing style. Especially the Smut in His Darkness was so well written 😍
So I just have to ask you for a request for Azriel x reader. The two have had something together for a long time and keep it secret from the others. Maybe because they both like the thrill of doing it somewhere and being caught at any time. And then that's exactly what happens and both of them have to come to terms with this new situation because the others put them straight into a relationship. And they both like each other a lot, but have never thought that there is more between them than just sex.
I hope you can do something with it 😊
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Ruin Me I Azriel x Fem!Reader
Warnings: heavy smut in the beginning, angst, fluff, then a little more smut.
Word count: 3k I had a lot of fun with this, okay?
Enjoy!
The House of Wind was quiet, and you could see the stars twinkling high in the sky through the massive windows in the dining room. You walk over to the window and look out. You can see the bright lights of Velaris below and the snow-covered mountains in the distance.
You feel a hand caress your hip, pulling you close. You lean back into Azriel's broad chest and breathe in his lovely, masculine scent. "You should bring me to the House more often," you say, amusement filling your voice. "It's really peaceful here, and quiet."
Azriel brushes your hair away from your neck, dipping his head down to kiss your skin. "That's just because Cassian and Nesta aren't here," he said. "And believe me, when they're here, it's anything but quiet."
You smile to yourself. You had heard Azriel complain for months now about Cassian and Nesta's very active sex life. Although you were sure you and Az had them beat in that department. If the fact that you two were friends with benefits were not a secret, it was quite possible that Cassian and Nesta both would be the ones complaining.
But you and Az had decided months ago when this all started that it was best if the others did not know. He was the spymaster, and he liked to keep his private life, especially his lovers, away from the prying eyes of his family.
You didn't mind, and you didn't take it personally. You liked sneaking around with him. If you were honest with yourself, you had to admit it was exhilarating, fucking in the most random places, usually in spots where it was likely to get caught by someone.
So far, the two of you have been successful in this secret relationship, or whatever the hell it was. There had been a few close calls, such as the time when he had you bent over a bench in Elain's garden, thrusting into you from behind. He had only just pulled out and finished on your back when footsteps had been heard walking up the path. The two of you had quickly stood, doing your best to hide your scents and disarrayed clothes. Only a few moments later, Elain had appeared with Nyx in her arms. The female had smiled at you, her face giving no hint as to whether she knew what had been happening just moments before.
It wasn’t strange to see the two of you together, after all. Everyone thought you were one of his spies-in-training, which was true. They just didn’t know he also fucked you into oblivion at least 4 times a week.
His bite on your neck pulls you from your thoughts. You turn around, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “When are they set to return?” you ask, looking up at him through your lashes.
Your heart stutters in your chest. He is so beautiful, all dark and handsome. His black hair falls along his brow, and you reach up to run your hands through its softness. You ignore that feeling in your chest, that constant ache that only arises when you’re around him.
Just friends, you remind yourself. This is just sex. Nothing more.
Even though you desperately wanted it to be more, but you would never admit it.
Azriel reaches up, tugging on the laces at the front of your dress. “Not for a few hours,” he says, his voice low. His fingers move down, unlacing until your breasts are bared. You are wearing nothing beneath the dress except for a pair of lacy blue underwear.
The dress falls from your body, pooling at your feet. He kisses his way down your neck and chest, stopping to lick and bite on your nipples. You throw your head back against the window, a soft moan escaping your lips.
“I have you all to myself,” he says against your skin as he begins his trail of kisses again. He loops his fingers through your panties, pulling them down your legs. He guides your legs up, helping you to step out of them. He raises his hand, and his shadows take your panties away, causing them to vanish in thin air.
He kneels down in front of you, raising your left leg to place it on his shoulder, right next to his wing. He leans in and presses a wet kiss onto your inner thigh. He runs his hands along your body, cupping your ass as he pulls you forward. He breathes in your scent, his eyes rolling back in his head. "You always smell so fucking good," he groans.
You grip his hair tighter as he unleashes himself on you like a starving male. He licks and sucks on your pussy, diving his tongue into you, fucking you with it.
You pull him closer with your raised leg, your calf barely grazing his wing, which causes him to whimper. Heat rushes through your body at the sound. "Az, please," you beg. "I need your cock inside of me. Now."
He looks up at you, his full lips wet from your slickness. He smiles as he says, "Want to come on my cock, princess?" Your chest tightens at his nickname for you. You nod as you bite your lip. "None of that," he snarls, and he stands and takes your lip between his teeth. "I'm the only one who can bite these pretty lips. Understood?"
You stand on wobbly legs, leaning into him. "Azriel, please," you beg again, desire coursing through your veins. You are beyond words. He is the only male who has ever had this affect on you. The only male who has ever made you beg for release.
You grip his shoulders, expecting him to winnow the two of you to his bedroom to finish what was started. He chuckles lowly, knowing what you're thinking. He leans forward, his breath tickling your ear. "Turn around," he says darkly.
You look up at him, confusion lining your features. "Right here, in front of the windows?" The House is high up on the mountains, and it was unlikely anyone would see anything. But it was still possible, especially if Nesta and Cassian decided to come home early.
He grips your hips, spinning you around. He presses gently on your back, pushing you forward so your entire front is pressed up against the windows. The cool glass against your aching nipples causes you to gasp.
"Yes," he says. Through the reflection in the glass, you see him tap one of his siphons, and with a flare of blue light, all of his clothes disappear. "I know you like to be fucked where someone can see. I can feel, and see, how wet it makes you."
Azriel lines himself up with your entrance. "How shall it be tonight, princess?" He runs soothing hands along your hips and ass, waiting for your response.
"Hard enough to make the windows rattle," you say, your breath fogging up the glass.
Azriel chuckles as he reaches for your wrists. He pulls them back, locking them together between his hands. "Hard it is, then."
Slowly, he pushes in, letting you adjust to his size. You moan, the sound loud in the empty dining room. He begins to thrust, pushing your body hard against the windows. Your eyes roll back as your feel his balls rub against your clit.
"Yes!" you scream. "Just like that." He hits that spot deep inside of you, causing you to make sounds that are no longer Fae. They are something dark and primal, and Azriel snarls at the sound.
"Fuck, yes," he moans. "Does my cock feel good, hmm?"
You nod, your head banging against the glass with the movement. Suddenly, his shadows darken the room and he lifts one of his hands from your wrist.
"Open your mouth," he commands, and you feel a fabric being pressed into your mouth. Your panties, you realize. "Taste yourself as I fuck you. Taste how wet you got for me."
It was so filthy, so sinful. You bite down on the lace, moaning around it. He begins to thrust so hard that you have to fight to keep your feet planted firmly on the floor. The windows begin to rattle, and you wonder if they are going to crack from his rough movements.
From the corner of your eye, you see a shape in the distance outside of the window, but you are so lost in pleasure that you can't pay attention to it. You didn't care if someone was watching. Let them see. Let them see how good the shadowsinger of the Night Court was fucking you.
Azriel moves his hand down, rubbing circles on your clit. "Cum for me, princess," he groans.
Your body obeys, and you scream around your panties as you cum, your wetness running down your thighs and hitting the floor.
He pulls out, spinning you around and pressing down on your shoulders. He pulls your panties out of your mouth, throwing them on the floor. You kneel before him as he presses the tip of his cock between your lips.
You moan at the taste of yourself on him. You swirl your tongue around the head, and that's all he needs to cum in your mouth, filling it with his salty taste. You swallow it all, weathering everything he gives you.
He grips your face gently in his hands, his face flushed. “So good for me,” he praises.
You smile up at him as you stand. That feeling in your chest comes back as you look at his beautiful face. You ignore it, knowing that acknowledging it would lead to nothing but heartbreak.
The two of you quickly get dressed, but when you reach for your panties, Azriel only shakes his head at you. He takes them, placing them into the pocket of his leathers.
You open your mouth, meaning to ask him what the hell he thinks he is doing, when the door to the dining room bangs open.
You freeze, knowing there is no way to hide what had happened. The scent of arousal and cum still filled the room, and you suddenly wish you had the ability to winnow yourself out of here.
A low male chuckle. “What do we have here, then?”
---
Cassian and Nesta were staring at you and Azriel, twin smiles playing on their lips.
"You weren't supposed to be back for at least another 2 hours," Azriel snarls at them. His hazel eyes are filled with rage. He looks at his shadows, as if he's mad they didn't warn him of their arrival.
Interesting.
Cassian shrugs. "We finished our task early," he says with amusement.
Nesta looks up at her mate. "It seems we.. interrupted something, Cass."
You blush, embarrassment filling your chest. You want to cry. The two of you had been so careful. "We were just... training," you say, struggling to find words.
Cassian raises a dark brow. "That was quite some training. Hand-to-hand training, yes?" He looks at you, his gaze softening, as if he sees your humiliation. "Y/N, so good to see you again. I had begun to wonder if Az would ever bring his new spy around."
Nesta chuckles. "Spy?" she asks. "Az, do you always fuck your spies? Or is she more than a spy to you?"
You suddenly remember the dark shape you had seen in the window. Nesta and Cassian had seen everything. They had watched.
Azriel glowers at them. "Shut the fuck up, Nesta." You are surprised at the predatory sound of his voice. He never spoke like that to women, and your heart flutters at how protective he sounds.
"Calm down, Az," Nesta responds, not taking offense to his sudden outburst. "Elain told us about the garden incident. We've known about this for quite a while. We just didn't expect you to be so careless." She points at the window, which is still smudged with the sweaty outline of your body.
You bring a hand to your chest, clutching at the laces of your dress. "Who else?" you demand. "Who else knows?"
Cassian raises his large hands in defense. "Hey, hey. We don't judge you. We're all happy to hear about your relationship," he responds, looking at you with amusement in his eyes. "But pretty much everyone has started referring to you as Az's "little girlfriend." Rhys, Feyre, Elain.. Even Nyx has caught on."
Azriel clenches his hands tightly. "This isn't a fucking relationship," is all he says before storming off down the hallway that leads to his bedroom.
Your heart shatters. Is that really how he feels? Are you really only some sort of fuck-toy to him? Something to satisfy his needs and nothing more?
Nesta looks at you with sympathy in her stormy eyes. "We didn't mean to make this awkward. We thought.." she stumbles for words, shaking her head. "We thought this was official. We figured he was keeping you hidden, like he does everything else."
You don't respond as you take off after Azriel. It wasn't going to end like this. Even if he didn't want you, you could not live with yourself until you told him how you feel.
You hear Nesta sigh. "House, can you please clean the fucking window?"
---
The door to Azriel's bedroom is slightly ajar, and you try to be as quiet as possible when you open it. He had taught you the tricks to being stealthy. As his new prized spy, it was important to know these things.
Still, because of your impatience, the door creaks open, taking away any chance of surprising him.
Azriel is leaning against the window, the curtains held tightly in his scarred hands. His shadows are dark in the room, a sure sign of his mood.
You pad toward him, lacing your hands in front of you. You try your best to hide the fact that they are trembling. "Az," you whisper. "Are you alright?"
He lets out a breath, looking over at you with his beautiful hazel eyes. But they are filled with rage, and something else you couldn't quite understand. "My brother and his mate just caught us fucking, and you ask if I'm alright?"
His angry tone takes you by surprise. He doesn't want me here, not anymore, you think to yourself. You straighten your back, refusing to appear weak in front of him. "I will go, then. I see I have served my purpose."
You turn to leave, trying to fight the tears that are threatened to pour from your eyes. You don't get very far, though. His shadows wrap themselves around you, holding you in place.
"Purpose? What gods-damned purpose?" he asks as he walks toward you.
You spin around to face him, and his shadows release you as you look at their master. They settle on his shoulders. They seem content, as if they had been waiting for this conversation to happen. "This was just sex, right? Now that they know, we have to stop." You look up at his face, which is twisted in anguish. "You said so yourself. This isn't a fucking relationship."
He runs his hands through his black hair, shaking his head. "That's not what I meant."
You put your hands on your hips, raising a brow at him. "Oh, please explain. What, my dear shadowsinger, did you mean?"
He takes a deep breath as sadness fills his features. "I said that to make them think we aren't.. together. I know you probably don't want others to know anything about us. I said it to protect you."
You stare at him, looking at him like he's suddenly grown a set of extra eyes. "Protect me?" you yell. "Protect me from what?"
"From judgment. Criticism." He looks down at his scarred hands. "I have killed many people. Tortured them. Why would you want anyone to know you're with me?" He looks up at you. "You are so kind and so good, everything I'm not. I don't want to ruin your reputation."
You laugh. You laugh so hard tears spill down your cheeks. "You're so fucking naive." You step toward him, taking his hands in yours. "You stupid, overgrown bat. I love you, Azriel. Everything about you. I don't care what you've done. Hell, you're training me to do the same thing!"
He shakes his head. "You don't care if the others know? About this? About us? About how I've ruined you?"
You move your hands up, cupping his cheeks. You raise your lips to press against his. "Ruin me, all you want, Az. I don't care what the others think. Let them talk." You kiss him gently. "I'll always want you."
He pulls you into his chest then, holding you tight against him. "Thank the Mother," he whispers into your hair. "I've loved you since the moment I met you."
You pull away to look at him. "Then why didn't you say something sooner?" You lightly hit him on the shoulder. "Why did you make this clear that it was just sex?"
He smiles softly. "I was selfish, and I wanted any part of you I could have. When you accepted that part of me, I was scared to admit my feelings, afraid that you wouldn't feel the same."
You chuckle softly. "Stupid, overgrown bat," is all you respond.
The two of you hold each other as the shadows in his room lighten. Later, you move to his bed, and he makes love to you with a gentleness that leaves you breathless.
"This is a fucking relationship," he groans against your neck as he moves in you. "You're mine."
"I'm yours, always," you respond as he pleasures you, your heart beating wildly in your chest. "Ruin me, Azriel."
He obliges, and the two of you entangle yourselves in his sheets until the sun can be seen rising in the Velaris sky.
425 notes · View notes
kaylasficrecs · 29 days
Text
luke castellan recs
scandalous | imagine, fluff | @indecisivemuch
someone gets hurt | imagine, flangst | @keerysfreckles
this is how i find out? | imagine, fluff | @gh0stsp1d3r
vice versa | drabble, fluff | @veryberryjelly
shells and secrets | imagine, fluff | @strawberries-and-summer-days
a place with you | imagine, flangst (more fluff) | @supercutszns
why not this one | imagine, angst | @gh0stsp1d3r
true colors | one shot, fluffy flangst | @supercutszns
sweatshirt | imagine, fluff | @chaussetteblanche
pretty (insufferable) boy | imagine, fluff | @daydreamingghosts
scary love | au, two shot, fluff | @kestisvrse
sister's keeper | series | @targaryenluvs
the messenger sneaks his kisses | drabble, fluff | @angelltheninth
something out of my dreams | imagine, fluff | @celesterayel
always an angel, never a god | imagine, flangst (comfort!) | @cobrakaisb
thunderstruck! | one shot, fluff | @targaryenluvs
lovesick & lovelorn | one shot, fluff | @indecisivemuch
titles | one shot, fluff | @indecisivemuch
luke being all giggly | drabble, fluff | @murdrdocs
comfortable burrowing | drabble, fluff | @gay-dorito-dust
a rose and her thorns | one shot, fluff | @atlabeth
lavender roses | one shot, fluff | @breadbrobin
betrayals embrace | imagine, angst | @gracieeegleegal
cupids in converse | one shot, fluff | @indecisivemuch
ghost in the wind | imagine, angst | @amoreva
apples | one shot, fluff | @indecisivemuch
geyser | two shot, angst | @atlabeth
always gonna protect you | drabble, fluff | @veryberryjelly
wasted no time | imagine, soft fluff | @veryberryjelly
treat me like a fool | drabble, fluff | @moneyndior
offspring garden | imagine, fluff | @kaciebello
sky | imagine, fluff | @gh0stsp1d3r
"you weren't supposed to find out this way" | imagine, angst | @cupid3clipse
i promise, angel | imagine, fluff | @sovksluv
call it what you want | imagine, fluff | @breadbrobin
scars | imagine, fluffy flangst | @gh0stsp1d3r
you don't know me | au, imagine, flangst (more fluff) | @kestisvrse
695 notes · View notes
mooishbeam · 8 months
Text
『♡』 Servant’s Secret 
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♡ featuring: ayato kamisato x f!reader
♡ summary: the commissioner catches you during some alone time, and decides that punishment is in order. wc: 2.1k+
♡ cw/tw: afab, unprotected sex, breeding, edging, overstimulation, spanking, humiliation, slightly sadist?, cunnilingus, mild degradation, pet names (bunny)
notes: hello! I read a lot of smut but never write it and it's been years since I've written anything so I figured I'd give it a try! sorry if I'm a bit rusty. let me know if u like it <3 comments and reblogs are appreciated!
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The commissioner was a busy man. When he occasionally visited the town, his honeyed words left a lasting pleasant impression on the public. However, Ayato would be gone many nights, returning haggard from cumbersome affairs. He flashes a gentle smile, reluctant to reveal the vitriol he harbored for these repetitive duties. He was a man to be feared, stopping at nothing to achieve his goals. Stern and prideful and clement. Only the most loyal companions could see him in this vulnerable state. Therefore, it came as a surprise to Ayato when he took a liking to you.
Maybe it was the way you accidentally beamed whenever he returned to you, awaiting his arrival like a loyal pet. “Welcome back, my lord.” You’d say in a monotone cadence. Though you were anything but when he wasn’t around. When you and Thoma had your weekly water fights in the kitchen during food prep he pretended not to notice. When your soft giggle echoed against the confines of his heart, he pretended not to notice.  
Simply because the thought of you smiling for everyone but him was frustrating.  
You were a lowly servant. You were careful not to disturb his tedious work. You felt he was much more important than you; a man this compassionate and protective over his people should be considered in the highest regard. Still, you couldn’t help but feel your cheeks glow hot whenever he called your name, saccharine vibrations that sent shivers down your spine. Sometimes his gloved hand would graze against your shoulder or neck, leading you to wonder how it would feel in other places. He never caught you dozing off—or so you thought—but daydreaming about his lips decorating your neck was a daily occurrence.  
Tonight, was a night like any other after finishing your tasks. As you wandered through the garden, the stars casted an orchestra across the welkin. You tell yourself repeatedly to repress the improper thoughts you had of him. But turning to the sky to cleanse your mind doesn’t always help, and so you return to your quarters for a more direct approach.  
Sliding your hands between your legs, the only thing you can think about is Ayato’s delicate fingers working their way inside you, kissing the shell of your ear with light praises. Usually, you were more careful to lock the door and control your voice, but your senses were clouded with the stimulation of chasing your high. “Ayato...” you whimpered into the bed sheets continuously. Just as you were about to cum, a familiar voice approached the door. “(Y/N)? In the morning I need you to- “. Cracking the door open, Ayato caught a glimpse of your flustered, trembling figure.  
It happened so fast you couldn’t register it. He immediately shut the door, followed by a quick “My apologies”. Your orgasm was immediately ruined, and you were mortified. You never prayed to an archon before now, but you called on all of them to save you in this moment.  
Your plan was to avoid him at all costs. The only thing you could hope for was that he didn’t catch the moaning. Your tasks for the next two days were done quickly and quietly, too stricken by horror to bear seeing his face. Ayato immediately caught on, but the thought of chasing you was slightly amusing to him.  
On the third day, your cleaning was just wrapping up.  
“Excellent job today, (Y/N).” His presence this close to your ear was shocking and you almost dropped the duster in your hand. “Thank you, my lord. I’ll be going now.”  
“Mm, no. I would like to speak with you privately.” He said, his lips slightly curling. You wanted anything but that right now.  
“Have I… have I done something wrong my lord?”  
“Have you?” He retorts, his eyes peering into yours. You felt all the air leave your chest. “I don’t think so, no.”  
“Okay, come then.” His tone was almost commanding more than playful, and you knew not to protest.  
In his quarters, you both sat quietly for some time. He leaned forward with his hands under his chin, staring at you from across the desk. You try your best to avert his gaze, but his eyes never leave you. The room feels so much smaller now, like a predator surrounding its prey.
“You’ve been avoiding me. Have I done something to offend you?”  
“No, my lord” you reassure him, “I was just feeling a bit ill.”  
“Ah, I see.” He lazily covered his mouth with one hand, attempting to stifle the sly smirk that creeped onto his face.  
“I can’t allow my subordinate to fall under the weather. May I check?” You allowed him to get closer. He removed one glove and grazed his hand against your face, then the back of your neck, then your ears. You were burning up just from the contact of his bare hand.  
“You feel hot. Looks like a bad fever.” You nod along, fueling the lie.  
“Do liars commonly come down with the flu?” 
“…What?”  
“You were shaking and sweating when I caught you a few days ago, perhaps that’s a symptom.” You immediately knew what he was talking about and went into panic mode looking for a proper explanation. Instead of padding for more lies, you drop to your knees and bow your head.  
“I’m so sorry, my lord. My actions were disrespectful and crude and this will never happen again.”  
A soft ‘tsk’ came from Ayato. “Why are you using ‘my lord’ when my first name was commonplace on your lips not too long ago?” Nothing could make your life worse right now. You couldn’t find any other words and bowed your head again.  
“I’m deeply sorry.”  
“…So, what should I do? I can’t just allow this to go unpunished.”  
“I’ll accept any punishment, my lord.”  
His eyes darkened at this statement.  
“Anything?”  
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“Your lying is more indecent than everything else. What did you say again?”  
You were completely stripped naked and bent over his desk, your hands tied behind your back. It was an hour since you accepted your punishment, and you came three times already. A clit sucker is attached to your pussy, while Ayato sits back and curls his fingers into your dripping heat. Any rational thought you had sunk a while ago. “So- ’m so sorry my lord.” Your words teeter on babbling; mind foggy from his skillful digits. A sharp slap makes contact with your ass a few times, forcing your back to arch and send spikes of pleasure through your legs.  
“I’d appreciate it if my pet was more honest. But it’s okay, I have no problem reteaching obedience.”  
He sped up his fingers, matching the movement of your body writhing in pleasure. Your cum dripping down his gloved fingers made his cock twitch and grow in his tightening slacks. “Poor thing, your pussy is so puffy and sensitive. You’re not going to give up on me, right?” He detached the sucker from your clit and admired how swollen you were. The feeling of being empty made you whine, before he sent a stinging slap to your clit.  
“Ah. No, my l- “Before you could finish, Ayato shoved his fingers covered in your essence in your mouth. You sucked on his fingers, and he tugged your hair roughly, forcing you to look up at him. “You are not to call me ‘my lord’ anymore. Only Ayato. Do you understand?” You nod through half-lidded eyes.  
“Good girl.” He spread your backside to get a perfect view of the sticky mess coating your inner thighs and ass and licked a long stripe into you. The feeling of his wet muscle invaded your senses and turned your brain to mush. He ate you out like a starving man, grunting from the squelching noises that erupted from your core whenever he sucked on your folds. He stopped occasionally to catch his breath and went back in to lap up your juices.  
“Please Ayato, ‘M gonna cum.” He was greedy and unforgiving, feeling his smile soaked in your arousal whenever you pulled away because it was too much. The raw sensation made your knees buckle, but your legs subconsciously opened wider for him. You just wanted to be good for him. Then he suddenly stopped. 
“Are you sure you deserve it?” He cooed. You turn to meet his dark sadistic gaze. 
“Please.” Your words are broken and fall to a whisper, tears spilling from heightened sensitivity. His smile is soft sunlight despite the look in his eyes, and he takes your chin within the caress of his palm. “When you misbehave, these things happen. I don’t think you deserve it just yet.”  
Ayato cut the restraints binding your wrists and carries you bridal style to the plush bedding further in his chambers. He set you down like a delicate flower and began to strip. You try your best to cover yourself, but the numbness in your limbs protested. “Exposing yourself so shamefully in front of the commissioner, how errant.” He teases. Ayato finally springs his cock free, sticky with precum and desire. His veins meet the underside of his shaft and angry red tip, begging to be buried inside you. He steadies over you, placing a breathtaking kiss to trailing soft pecks and bites along your ear. It was stirring you up all over again, and you wrap your arms around his neck to deepen the kisses. “Wan’ you.” You mumble between breaths.  
“Do you? Beg for it.” You suddenly get shy, unable to find the words. “Tell me exactly what you want, my little bunny.” 
“I want... I want you to ruin me. I need it bad Ayato please.” For some reason, verbalizing what you wanted was much more embarrassing, and he felt your reluctance. “This shouldn’t be too hard for you, right? What did you think about when you touched yourself to me?” His directness makes you cower. “Did I face-fuck you to tears or was I more passionate. Tell me everything.” Your breath hitched. “I want your cock deep inside me and I want you to breed me. I don’t want you to hold back, do whatever you want to me please.” This answer seems to satisfy him. 
“Good girl.” 
Ayato positions you into a mating press and in one motion shoves himself balls deep in your sex. His breath is ragged, and the feeling of your walls sucking and clenching around him perfectly drove him over the edge. He begins driving himself in and out of you from base to tip, squelching and slapping from his balls against your ass echoed throughout the room. His veins dragging along your most sensitive spots combined with the tuft of hair that made contact with your clit after each thrust make you dizzy. You're drowning in his scent and your heart is drumming in your chest. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” His words come out shaky. “My little bunny. You’re mine. Say it.” His thrusts get needier and rougher, and his whimpers turn to breathy whining. The coil tightening in your stomach threatened to snap at any minute, but you held on for permission. 
“I'm yours, Ayato. Please-”  
“Go ahead, cum for me bunny. Cum on my cock.” Stern, almost like a command, he speeds up and begins to rub circles on your abused clit. Your legs shake and you throw your head back along with your eyes. You came on him with a scream, violently clenching and pulsing around his girth. He doesn’t stop and fucks you through your high as he is approaching his. “Where do you want my cum?” Everything in you clung to him tightly, and so you begged for him to do it inside. 
“Fuck- you’re such a good slut. All for me.” He finally reaches his climax, stuffing you to the hilt and spurting into you. Thick, hot cum fills you from the inside as he whimpers throughout it, feeling his cock twitch at times. He stays there for a while, making sure you were properly full. Making sure he owned you. You were so exhausted you ended up dozing off with him still inside. 
You wake up to a sleeping Ayato, eyes lingering on the scratches littering his back. You were cleaned up, minus the dark bite marks dotted around your torso. The early morning sun reflected on him like an angel, and you wanted nothing more than to stay with him. Recollecting the hot daze on his face from the previous night, surely there wouldn’t be any harm in continuing this arrangement. 
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ggsbooks123 · 5 months
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Memory Garden
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peeta mellark x female mc (Jude Slone)
summary; you made haymitch promise, if it came down to you or Peeta that he’d save Peeta. And he did. But now you’re back from the Capitol with one thing certain, Peeta Mellark is the one true enemy.
warnings: angst angst angst, mean thoughts ab peeta beloved and honestly just a lot of writing i didn’t need to do
———
Peeta did this.
The mantra floated through my head, as I yanked on the restraint again.
He’s the reason everyone you love is against you.
Another yank.
He blew up District 12
“Jude, feeling hungry yet?” Haymitch’s voice breaks the static but the mantra just quietens but doesn’t stop. My hand drops the bind.
“What do you have?” It was a better response than i’d given lately. What if Peeta tried to kill me and poisoned my portion… I couldn’t risk it. “No, I don’t want it”
He sighs, still coming towards me with the tray “I promise you, Peeta doesn’t want you dead. You know that, think”
I scowled, “I know what I saw. I know what he did. He’s a monster, Haymitch. Don’t make me, I dont want his filthy blood on my hands” He scoffed, dropping the tray onto the table next to me.
“Let’s hope lover boy comes and feeds you bevause I’m not putting up with this” And with that he leaves the room.
I glanced at the tray, tomato soup with toast coated in possibly cheese, but it’s not the delicious toast that catches my eye, the soup, it’s not red. They’ve added ingredients to make it appear more orange… Not bright orange.
A sunset.
“I still remember that Christmas he brought me that green sweater. Green doesn’t suit me” I say, the air was brisk and I hated walking in the Winter but I couldn’t turn Peeta down when he came to my door.
“I refuse to believe you look bad in anything” I scoff, glad it’s cold knowing he might take that as thhe reason my cheeks are now red. “What is your favourite colour?”
I raise my eyebrow at him “I’m sure there are better things to talk about then my favourite colour”
He watches me as we walk for a moment “I don’t see anything more important” It makes me slow to a stop, “Tell me, please. I want to know”
I look to him, his kind blue eyes and blond hair that looks incredibly soft without all those products they use during interviews, he looks beautiful.
“It used to be red but I think i’m leaning towards purple” I shrug, “It’s only fair that i’ve revealed that secret you tell me yours”
He smiles before looking up at the sun, it’s setting letting the streaks of orange paint the sky “Orange, right there. It’s the second most beautiful thing i’ve ever seen” I glance at him unsure as to why he’d say second until I see the look in his eyes.
My head snaps at the memory, cruel and unforgiving. That’s what Peeta was, and he would hurt me so I had to kill him before he tried first.
His face twists in the memory as I replay it over and over again, he doesn’t look like himself, Hatred flared in a moment that was full of pure adoration. I see it now like i’m looking through a camera at the two of us.
He looks like he loves me… Then his eyes lose their spark like a snap and he’s spitting awful words at me, one’s ill never forget.
I’ll never forget he’s the reason i’m like this.
The food goes cold and I go another day without eating and under sedation after I nearly come out of binding when they try to insert the needle into my arm to get food into my body.
I awake in an empty room but there’s a buzz in the air, I look to the mirror across from me. I look better than I did the first time I looked inside, I’d look better if I ate proper food but I can’t, he wants me dead and he won’t fail again.
The door hisses open bringing my attention away from my strangely hair, Katniss stands at the door, tears in her eyes.
“You need to eat something” She whispers but the room is so quiet i’m not surprised if she can hear my blaring thoughts or the alarm going off in my head.
“Get out” I spit, turning away from her. Katniss was close to Peeta, never too close for respect of me which I hated now, she should have stopped whatever was forming between the two of us. Now it’s this. “I don’t want to see you.”
“It’s been months, I thought-“ She tries to speak but she stops when my head snaps to her aswell, her eyes are searching my face. I still look awful, I know that and it seems she still hasn’t come to terms with what I had gone through. Why don’t they see it’s his fault? Always.
“He’s the reason this happened to me, Katniss. And you’re still going to side with him. If you don’t kill him then he’ll kill me Katniss, Don’t you see!” I scream, her back hits the door and it hisses open and my heart stops.
There, he is. He’s not expecting the door to open, the surprise on his face is evident as those blue eyes bore into mine and I steel myself preparing for the hatred, his attempts to end my life.
But neither happen, he watches me with nothing but sadness and his hands are empty, just slack at his sides as he takes a step forward and I’m frozen, It’s not making sense.
He keeps coming closer and my heart is beating out my chest. Run! He’s going to kill you! My head screams but he doesn’t look like he will kill me, he looks like he wants to be next to me and holding me through this, possibly the one feeding me the tomato soup like Haymitch suggested.
“Jude… Please, I’d never-“ He seems to choke on his words as a tear slips down his cheek “Come back to me” Come back and trust me so I can kill you, I hear instead. The words make me flinch, the movement is so large the whole bed moves with me, screeching.
He backs away, the door hisses open again but he doesn’t move to get out “You’re just here to kill me!” I cried, wishing him out of the room.
Get out. Get out. Get out!!!
I must’ve screamed the last time because he’s gone and finally the screaming in my head stops and I fall to the bed, the thought of food or anything fades, only the want to be far from him stays.
I am Jude Slone, I won the 73rd hunger games, i’m from District Twelve and Peeta Mellark does not want me dead.
I repeat in my head over and over again, as the truck rolls over cracks and bumps, my body jumps at each bit of debris we hit and I hit the metal seat hard each time but the pain is real. Which is hard to say about a lot lately.
Peeta Mellark wants doesn’t want you dead.
I shake my head, thst one was the hardest to remember and at times, it was no where reachable and all that would sustain me in that moment would be his blood on my hands.
Finally the truck pulled to a stop, I straightened my shoulders. I’d been taken by the Capital and my memories have been distorted, my first thought may not always be the right one.
With that final word of encouragement I let the anxiety slip from me as the back door opens and I’m led out. The sun blinds me for a moment, I’d only seen it for a moment when they made me leave base but only to be stuffed back in the van.
Now I could see the destruction. His fault. No, no, no. I took a deep breath, before turning to seeing the loving welcome party at the front of what seemed to be an abandoned building.
Katniss with her bow, Gale with his crossbow and the five members of their squad had their guns trained on me, including Peeta. My heart hammered but I kept upright as I took the empty gun from the guard before waltzing my way towards the group.
I am Jude Slone, I won the 73rd Hunger Games, I am from Distrisct 12 and None of these people want me dead.
“What is she doing here?” Katniss is the first to speak and though her eyes are trained on me, i know she doesn’t want me to answer.
“Coin wants her to be shown on screen, the victors fighting on the same side” A dark man, who screamed military spoke and he was the only one besides Finnick who hadn’t raised their gun at me. “I don’t like the gun”
“Cant have me fighting with my bare hands on screen” I mutter, before shaking the weapon “It’s empty”
The tension seemed to ease slightly in the group but while half of them had lowered their weapons, Peeta, Katniss and Gale hadn’t. I had to remember what I’d been like this past month, I wouldn’t trust me either.
“I don’t like this” Peeta. His words cut deep and I deflate at them before the military man waves everyone to come inside, not before a solider by the name of Jackson, she told me, quietly instructed me that i’d be restrained for their safety.
“I understand, but I’m not a child”
“No just someone who went through a lot of shit” Finnick says behind Jackson, and my eyes dart up. I didn’t know where my mind stood with Finnick, I didn’t feel like killing him but I hadn’t felt like killing Peeta a moment ago but we all knew it would come.
It was why I was being restrained in the first place. I nod at his words, unsure of how to respond before they lead me inside. The wall along the door was made of glass and I watched as the van that stopped me off, vanished in the distance.
I was stuck here and I didn’t know if I would ever leave this ruin of a city. I kept my distance from the group as they moved into the centre and I took a seat beside the window.
“We’ll have to set up an around the clock guard on her, we can take shifts” Military man said, turning to look at me. “I’ll take the first shift, Names Boggs.”
I preferred Military man but I nodded all the same, “I want a shift” Peeta’s voice is small compared to Boggs but it silences the room all the same.
“Not happening” Jackson speaks up this time, confusing me on who’s in command.
“I can do it!” Peeta argued back, standing from his seat “It’s not her… The Capital killed her and whoever they sent back to us, i’ll be happy to put a bullet in its head” I flinched, turning my eyes down to my hands. Clenching them, was I dead? The girl I was? I shake my head, I am Jude Slone and I did not die in the Capital. They broke me but I am not unfixable. I am broken not unfixable.
I am unfixable.
“I’m not sure seeing as a mutt helps” Jackson declares but Boggs cuts her off
“Give him a shift, Katniss too.” There was no room for argument as Jackson nodded and began to schedule the guard clock. I wanted to be more helpful, tell them that maybe they could go an hour and they could all rest, but I didn’t even trust myself to do that.
Instead I kept silent, letting the rest of them discuss our plan while I watched the day pass by through the glass. “How’re you feeling?” Finnick’s voice from beside me makes me jump. I turn to him and he looks almost glowing, I’d heard something about him and Annie.
I knew I would feel happy for him if I didn’t feel so disconnected. Finnicks memories that came to mind now only brought warmth, nothing haunting. Which was relieving, he was a breath of fresh air.
“Away, I feel like everything’s happening and I’m not really here” I try to explain and he seems to understand. “I don’t want to be a problem, I don’t know why they sent me here… I’m not ready.”
He frowns, “I think you’re where you need to be, normally whenver Annie gets confused she asks me, and I promise you, you’ll find nothing but the truth here” I glance over to the group who had begun to seperate and close their eyes.
It must be Finnicks shift. The thought made this whole encounter turn cold but still, I took in his words as my eyes trained on the baker boy. “Peeta was the reason this happened to me… Real?”
He shakes his head, “You made Haymitch swear if it came down to the two of you that he’d get Peeta to safety” Finnick explained but my mind screamed at me that he was lying. Why would I ask that? Peeta and I didn’t get along, no, we did and we’d almost- I didn’t know what we almost did or if he hated me or loved me and it made me want to rip my hair out as my thoughts banged against my head.
He was not the reason you went to the Capital, you chose this. You didn’t want him to go through this… That felt right, staring at him now, I would never wish upon him those nights in the Capital.
“I know it must be hard. Annie went through a lot but they know that the Capital never left you alone, you were their main priority.” Finnick places a hand on my shoulder, bringing my fully to the present for what felt like the first time. “None of us blame you at all for what happened.
I forgot how long it’s been since someone had been gentle with me. Skin to skin, human contact. My body released its pressure, relaxing in my seat. “Thank you, Finnick”
He smiled before sitting up straighter, and we together sat in silence watching the night sky slowly fall upon us as the rest that were awake finally knocked off
“Get some rest” Finnick muttered to me softly, tapping my leg as he got up. I could see his eyes dropping a while ago but he still stayed and it relieved me that he was finally putting himself first.
I nodded, I would not be sleeping tonight. Each time I closed my eyes another memory would wash over me, I’ve started to get better at knowing if it’s real or not without verification.
Like the one of Peeta and Is confession of our favourite colours, it was easier to picture him smiling at me now instead of anger and whenever it did dissolve to the image it was almost too perfect, his freckles gone and the scar he got from the 75th games vanished, as did the dark circles under my eyes and the few strands out of place were perfectly flat. Too perfect.
I watched Finnick rouse Peeta and point over to me. Of course, I could only get so lucky. I heard someone clear their throat before they took a seat across from me. I didn’t look up. I didn’t know where my mind would jump to.
And he seemed to take the message, he didn’t try to speak to me either. She asks me. I promise you’ll find nothing but truth here.
Finnick was right, I couldn’t close myself off and hope I’d be able to fix myself. If it was that easy, I’d be normal again. “Finnick told me that whenever i’m having trouble differentiating real from not real I should just ask…”
I glanced up at him, in the darkness it was hard to make out his uniform but his blonde hair and pale skin were easy to spot and it made my body tingle as I registered just how close he was and I didn’t feel like wringing my hands around his neck. Relief.
“Shoot away” I raised an eyebrow “Not literally” I smiled softly at that before cycling through my head and I settled back into his favourite colour. What if I asked and his favourite was blue or something? Sunset orange was just another lie they filled into my head. Ask.
“Your favourite colour. It’s sunset orange, real? Not real?” I clench my fists, please. please.
“Real… Yours used to be red but after the hunger games you couldn’t stand it” He explained, and he was right. I used to tie a red bow into my hair everyday until my reaping now the colour reminded me of the slaughter in the 73rd Hunger games.
“But you said you were beginning to like purple… I remember that day, I told you the sunset was the second most beautiful thing i’d ever seen… And the first was right in front of me” I stiffened, though the confession didn’t shock me, looking back I could’ve seen it if I looked hard enough in the moment “And it’s killing me, bevause you’re right in front of me again but you’re like the stars I can’t reach. I… Can adore you from afar but that’s all I can do. And it feels really, really shitty, knowing we might never get through this”
He stands abruptly from his seat “I can’t do this” And he storms out, but I’m clenching my fists too tight to stop, swearing at every god to let this memory stay and not be corrupted by fear. I can adore you from afar but that’s all I can do because if I came closer you’d kill me. Was the truth.
— — —
do we want a part two?!?
part two out now!
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ollieolliewrld · 1 month
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HSR Men on Valentine's Day (SFW)
How each of the Men would spend Valentine's with their s/o!
2.8k words
Aventurine
♡He is going all out on Valentine’s Day
♡The bigger the better in his eyes
♡As you have seen everything with him is over the top
♡You two will be going to the most expensive restaurant and ordering the most expensive items on the menu
♡To him, this day is about celebrating the love that you both share so he will not cut any corners to show you this
♡Aventurine has spent the last two months perfectly picking out the gifts to give you, making note that each gift has a deeper meaning behind it
♡To most, he is a heartless businessman who only cares about gaining power, but his heart is fully yours
♡He cares deeply about you and even though he goes about this day very bombastically he does not treat it like a show
♡The money he spends is to show you the best things in life, not to buy your affection and he knows that you love him for who he is not for what he has 
♡One of the gifts he gets you is a ring with an aventurine stone, it is designed to match the ring he got with your birthstone
♡He asks you to wear it every day and he will wear his so that no matter where you are, you will always be together 
Argenti
♡This is his favorite day of the year
♡An entire day he gets to celebrate your beauty? Yes, he does that every day but this one has a special name
♡Argenti is going to make sure that you fully feel his love 
♡There is a planet that has a restaurant built inside of a giant rose garden and he had placed reservations months ago
♡From the time you wake up, you are being showered in sweet words as he darts around making sure that he does everything for you
♡He does not want you to life a finger today, this day is about you 
♡When it is time to go to dinner you see that Argenti has already laid out an outfit for you with a single rose 
♡He kept everything a secret so that you could be surprised 
♡The look on your face when you saw the restaurant was everything he could have asked for
♡You sat at a secluded table surrounded by the most beautiful roses, above you was a clear sky full of stars
♡He sits across from you the whole night thinking about how lucky he got to find you and how he could not imagine a world without your beauty 
Blade
♡Blade is not accustomed to this day and what it entails 
♡He is confused as to why every shop suddenly has flowers and heart-themed goods to sell and asks you about it
♡You explain to him that Valentine’s Day is coming up and what usually happens on that day
♡Upon hearing this Blade takes time to think about how he wants to approach the situation
♡He is not a big talker and wants to show you that he cares about you but doesn’t get why that has to be done with a box of chocolates
♡To him, Valentine’s should be spent with you doing something meaningful
♡So when the day comes around he takes you to a location where no one else will be
♡It’s a weeping willow tree that overlooks a lake filled with bioluminescent life
♡He had set up a picnic for the both of you and explained that he would like to remember this day with only you 
♡After you finish eating Blade moves so that he is leaning against the base of the tree and you are in front of him with your back against his chest looking out the the beautiful view in front of you
♡You are in his arms all night as you spend hours talking and truly being together
Dan Heng
♡He gets nervous when Valentine’s Day approaches
♡He is not big on celebration and wants to do something nice for you but even with all of his knowledge Dan is not sure what the best thing to do is
♡First, he tries to check off the typical list, he gets your favorite flowers, and favorite candy, plans a nice meal he does what he knows is supposed to happen
♡But he gets stuck on the gift, every option feels superficial to him, like there is no real meaning it is just throwing money at a day
♡Nothing with you is meaningless, you mean the world to him why would he ever overlook any detail
♡So he is surprised when he is woken up to breakfast in bed by you 
♡You told him that Valentine’s Day is not about one person, it is about both people in the relationship 
♡All of the work he put in is appreciated but he does not have to go crazy to prove his love to you
♡Everyday Dan shows you that he loves and cares about you just because today has a name does not change anything
♡Before you go out to dinner, you stop at a bookstore where you each pick out a book for the other which is the best gift either one of you could get
♡You both enjoy reading and having a book that was chosen for you by your s/o has more meaning than any stuffed bear could
Dr. Ratio
♡You were not expecting anything to happen on Valentine’s Day
♡Yes Dr. Ratio loves you and shows you that, however, he has never been big on celebrations like this
♡He views them as a ploy by capitalism to sell off cheap products to lovesick fools
♡So you prepared yourself for a day like any other
♡While he may not believe in holidays for himself, he knows what they mean to you so when you wake up you are surprised to see a fruit salad in front of you with all of the pieces cut into hearts
♡You are taken back and do not know where this could have come from until you look at who is holding the salad
♡If he is going to do Valentine’s Day he is going to do it right
♡As you wake up fully and look around your shared apartment you see that all towels have been folded into hearts, most of the decorations have been replaced with red and pink versions of the item, and the most amazing display of flowers you have ever seen is sitting on your dining room table
♡He wants you to know that he loves you not just on this day but every day and he puts in the effort to show that 
Gallagher
♡Gallagher is a very classic man he will be picking you up with flowers in hand to take you out on Valentine’s Day 
♡You swoon when you see him in his black suit having the first few buttons of his white dress shirt undone 
♡He is the perfect gentleman, opening doors for you, placing his hand on your lower back as you walk, and pulling out your chair for you
♡When you are with him he is going to make sure you are treated right
♡Nothing in the world is more important to him than you and he takes every opportunity to show you this, having a major holiday that he can dedicate to you, he is going to run with it
♡At dinner, he chooses to sit next to you instead of across from you
♡He wants to not only be able to look at you but be able to have physical contact with you as well
♡Gallagher is a fan of sharing everything with you so whatever he gets will also be feeding to you as well
♡He takes care of you and will make sure you are full and happy before you leave the restaurant 
♡After dinner, he takes you to a cute little ice cream shop
♡You have a very cute moment where you get whipped cream on your nose and he kisses it off
Gepard
♡Geppy is very excited for Valentine’s 
♡He had made sure his calendar was free so he could spend every minute with you 
♡You two had planned to stay in and binge all of the shows and movies that you two had wanted to watch together
♡Like always he makes you breakfast and showers you with affection before moving to the couch
♡He had woken up before you and set up a pillow in the living room, he even put fairy lights around the whole thing so that there was the perfect amount of cozy lighting
♡Inside the fort were pillows, blankets, and all of your favorite snacks 
♡Even though you were staying in he still wanted it be be special and not like any other day watching TV together
♡Hours go by as you are held in his arms being covered in kisses every so often until night comes
♡Gepard had ordered ahead from your favorite food place and made sure to get your usual order 
♡It’s the moments like these that he loves the most, seeing you in your pajamas, hair not done, just being comfortable and 100% yourself
♡Valentine’s Day now holds a special place in his heart because he has someone to share it with, being able to forget the world and be alone with you
Jing Yuan
♡Jing Yuan wanted to do something special for Valentine’s Day this year now that he had you in his life
♡In the past, he had ignored the day and treated it like any other but he is changing that for you
♡He wants you to feel loved and be able to confidently say that you are his 
♡So he is going to pull out all the stops
♡He gets a mini flower garden, live music, and the best chef he can find, and gives Yanqing an impossible task so he isn’t bothered
♡He arranges this all to be set up in the spot where you two first met, wanting to spend the night celebrating how far you two had come and the bond that you now share
♡You are not to do anything but arrive at the time in place he told you looking nice
♡When you arrive he is waiting there for you with a box of carefully decorated pastries 
♡He wanted to give you something as sweet as you are 
♡He takes your hand and leads you to the table where the food is waiting for you 
♡As you eat you are accompanied by live music in the background creating the perfect atmosphere 
♡After the meal, he takes you to a Terrance away from everyone and everything, and takes out a scroll he had in his pocket
♡Written on it is a speech he had prepared for you going over all of the reasons he loves you and detailing just how much he cares about you
 ♡After reading it the music starts up again and he leads you in a slow dance where he holds you close for the rest of the night
Luka
♡Valentine’s Day happened to fall on the same day as a big fight for him
♡You two had already discussed that you wanted him to go to the fight and celebrate with you later even though Luka was ready to skip the fight completely
♡After all of the training he had put in you could not let him miss this 
♡He agrees and makes sure to have plans ready immediately after the fight ends
♡When you arrive at the arena you follow your usual fight routine with him
♡You put Vaseline on his face to protect it, make sure his mouth guard is in, and oil up his arm to ensure it performs well
♡Kissing him good luck he heads into the ring
♡The fight is not going as well as you hoped it would and Luka is now tied in the final round
♡The ref calls for a time out and you run over to Luka 
♡Seeing the love in your eyes gave him the strength he needed and to proceeded to win the fight with a KO
♡You were so excited for him that you jumped into the right and grabbed onto him planting kisses across his face 
♡He grabbed onto you picking you up and spinning you around 
♡His happiness didn’t come from the win, it came from having someone whom he loved so much here in his arms 
Luocha
♡Luocha was happy to have you in his life and had asked you what you wanted to do for Valentine’s Day 
♡In asking you once he got the answer he would make sure that whatever you said would happen without any issues
♡Whatever you wanted he would deliver you knew this 
♡So it was no surprise that you woke up on Valentine's Day to exactly what you had asked for weeks ago
♡He doesn't say much preferring to sit back and watch your reaction 
♡That is where he gets his joy, it's from watching you be happy, the smile on your face, and the sparkle in your eyes
♡He will always make sure you have what you want it doesn't matter what day it is
♡You are his everything and therefore you deserve everything 
♡Nothing is out of the question for you
♡Of course, Luocha has a few surprises for you like the neatly wrapped box you find amongst flower petals
♡Opening it you find a necklace with a stone pendant, the stone is unlike any other you have seen before
♡It is a shade of yellow and glows slightly 
♡Asking him what it is he tells you that he found it a while ago before he met you on a planet he forgets the name of, this stone is meant to be given to the love of your life so that the glow of the stone signifies the undying love you feel for each other
Sampo
♡Valentine’s Day is one of Sampo's biggest business days
♡He makes a lot of money selling to last-minute gift buyers 
♡But this year he has no interest in this, for the first time in his life there is something more important than money
♡All he can think about is what to do with you and how he can put a smile on your face 
♡Instead of using his powers to gain from others, he uses them to get you a gift that he knows you will like 
♡There is a band that you have been talking about for months and there was a show coming up soon that you wanted to go to but tickets sold out immediately
♡Sampo suggested that he could just sneak the two of you in but you were against this 
♡So during your Valentine's Day picnic that he had planned, you found an envelope underneath your heart-shaped sandwich 
♡You were confused but Sampo just sat there with a smile waiting for you to open it
♡When you did you found a card that was clearly handmade, when you opened it you found the tickets but there were more 
♡Inside the card was a note written by Sampo, he has always been a smooth talker but this was different
♡He poured his heart out in this note and truly opened up about his love for you 
Welt
♡Welt has had Valentine’s Day planned out for months
♡He is a romantic at heart and has waited for so long to have someone to spend this day with 
♡As the day approaches he asks that you keep your schedule clear and he will do the same
♡What he has planned is to use the express to take you on a tour of the most beautiful parts of the galaxy, Pom Pom is in on this making sure that the only people on the express are you, Welt, and Pom Pom 
♡You two were completely alone and he was making the most out of this 
♡He had candles set up so that most of the light would come from the stars and suns that you were passing by
♡As you traveled he would tell you about every planet and regale you with information he knew you would be interested in 
♡Food was wheeled in by Pom Pom who was very happy to take part in this
♡Because you were also so kind and respectful to Pom Pom and the Express, Pom Pom was glad to be able to return the effort
♡The entire day was spent being with Welt doing what you both loved most, exploring
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Author’s note: Happy Valentine’s Day! Sorry for not including Sunday but I haven’t fully played story yet so I don’t know his character enough yet ! <3 <3
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call-sign-shark · 8 months
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After the Storm, the Sun || Tommy Shelby x Reader
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➢ Prompt "Don't you Dare" requested by @runnning-outof-time
Words: 1K (no proofreading)
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If there was one thing you had never seen since your wedding with the infamous Thomas Shelby it was his smile. As both his wife and new secretary, you knew every feature of his face and how they contorted at his emotions’ discretion. Slightly, almost imperceptible. But day after day you ultimately learned how to read through the lines and catch those glimpses of faint emotions. For instance, you could tell he was mad by the way his sky blue eyes became blank and his brows slightly furrowed. That was when you knew someone had cross the line.  
When it came to sadness, the change in his traits was even more subtile but nonetheless heartbreaking for observant eyes. He would avoid looking at you, rather focusing his attention on paperwork or something else as if a sole glance at your iris could break the fortress he had spent years building around his heart.  All of these held no secret anymore for you — But regarding joy, you could not tell. 
You started to wonder if Thomas was even able to feel happiness, or if the war, responsibilities and Grace’s death had definitely faded colors away  from his life and turned it into a dull black and white movie whose ending would be definitely woeful.
Sometimes you would caught sight of a light, almost imperceptible smirk at the sharp edge of his lips — especially when Arthur would stumble on his own feet. It also happened that one  time John almost choked with his toothpick after laughing too much at Finn’s clumsiness. But these short moments of innocence usually disappeared as quickly as they had appeared as if they had never really existed. Thomas’ genuine smile was a mirage and you, the thirsty and exhausted wanderer lost in the desert of his heart. At first his lack of positive emotions was mere detail, an interrogation born out of curiosity. Yet, the idea of making him smile soon became a bit too obsessive to admit. That was how you came to the decision to do everything in your power to snatch a sincere smirk off your morose husband — a silly mission John, Arthur and his young wife Heaven agreed to join in.
He did not smile when John stole clothes from Polly and made his best imitation of their Aunt, even though it was hilarious when he fell on the floor because he did not know how to walk with heels.
He did not smile when Arthur, wasted with whiskey, cut half of his mustache when he was shaving. The unfortunate event led him to shave it off and wait for it to grow back. Half of Small Heath could not recognized him for days. Let’s not be afraid to state that he cried a little.
Nor did he smile when Heaven’s gargantuan watchdog, Kaiser, jumped on her small frame, happy to see her, and shoved her right in a puddle of mud, ruining both her white hair and her expensive new coat. The expression on her face had been priceless.  As well as Arthur’s silly way to run to her.
You laughed each time, almost straining your ribs, but your husband did not even smirk. 
As days passed your hopes crumbled bit by bit, until you gave up on the idea. A sigh escaped your lips as you watered the roses of the mansion’s garden, for when Tommy’s darkness started to infect your mood the only place you would find peace was that place in which hundreds of wonderful flowers blossomed. Lost in an ocean of colorful petals, you did not notice the threatening black clouds that were coming your way, with an urging desire to rain down on you. When the first lightning bolt striated the sky, its roaring thunder making you jump like a scared cat, it was already too late.
You ran to the mansion, shutting the door close behind you. It was at that same moment, when you were looking down at your soaked up body with a look of pure despair on your beautiful face, that Thomas came out of the living room. His piercing blue eyes, whose quiet oceans had been darkened with memories of war, fell upon your frame. And then it happened. A little sparkle lit up in his irises at the sight of you, his wife, caught in the rain. Your entangled wet hair, your new dress sticking to your skin, your runny make up… 
“The fuck are you looking at Thomas Shelby?!!” 
Tommy took off his little glasses and, all of sudden, burst into laughter. The melody of joy, long forgotten, washed away the dust of his tired soul and boomed in the hallway.  Laughing was so unusual for him that the corner of his mouth felt numb after a few seconds, but Tommy got the giggles and could not stop. You wanted to yell at him, to tell him it was not fun, but the beautiful symphony of his laugh awoke the flame of your love. It was the very same laugh he had before the war. Before Kimber. Before Campbell and all the other bastards… Scared of moving by fear of disrupting such a rare vision, you remained still. It was Tommy who broke down the distance between you and wrapped your hips with his strong arms, not minding to ruin his own expensive suit.
“I love your laugh. I wish I’d hear it more often.” You said with a little smile, your fingers gently caressing one of his hollow cheeks. He has been so stressed out he had barely eaten in a week.
“Well, you should get caught in the rain more.” He replied, raising an eyebrow, “You look like a wet cat.”
“Fuck you.”
“Language, Mrs. Shelby.” He leaned forward to kiss you but you denied him. Surprised, Tommy frowned and looked at you in hope of getting a reason behind your refusal, "Come on, kiss me."
“No.” You taunted him, freeing yourself from his embrace and taking a few steps back toward the closed door of the mansion.
"Don't you dare, Y/N." He warned you, for the cunning gleam in your eyes foreshadowed what you were about to do.
"Catch me, Tom!" You suddenly said, before rushing outside and running under the batting but warm summer rain. In truth, you were convinced he would not follow you.
How wrong you were.
“You bet I will.” He muttered to himself, putting his glasses on the nearest furniture before joining you in the chase.
The rain was pouring in Arrow House, but for the first time in years, sun shone bright in Thomas’ heart.
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Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivated me, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.
Arthur's wife is Reader in the ongoing series Heaven in Your Eyes.
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tapeskingdom · 11 months
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purple indigo flower washi tape
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