#saying this as someone who held two jobs over the past several months

[sekhithefops]

Anyone who tells a queer person "Just Move to a Better State" doesn't get it.

So, as some of you know I've got an account on Bluesky, one of the social media websites that arose from the ashes after Elon Musk completely fucked up Twitter beyond how fucked it was even on it's worst day.

Recently I shared this article, hoping to spread some good news to my fellow members of the LGBTQA+ community:

And some smarmy jackass replied with this:

Yeah... anyone who says this is an asshole who doesn't get the realities of these situations.

I grew up in Kentucky. Yes, the state where Mitch "the Lich" McConnell was spawned (we're trying to get rid of him but that asshole hid his phylactery really good okay?) As some of you might guess, my own home state has issues with people who try to push these sorts of laws.

I've been told by others, in the past, to just move to a better state.

I tried it once infact, I moved from the Cincinnati Metropolitan Area (I lived right on the border between Ohio and Kentucky at the time) to another city where I was going to live with a gay couple I met online who were friends with my, at the time, partner.

... you probably see where this is going already, but I'll continue.

The city definitely had a good LGBTQA+ presence, but here's the thing. I stayed there only six months before all but fleeing back to Kentucky.

Why?

Several reasons.

NOBODY wanted to hire "the new kid in town." I had a horrible time finding a job that would satisfy my roommate. They knew I had only worked retail in the past and, at the time, had no college under my belt at all. I tried getting jobs in multiple places. I tried getting hired on as a 911 operator, at several higher end stores, and such. You know where I wound up working? A shitty little Circle K station. It was the ONLY place that would hire me and paid a pittance. I could barely help with bills at all.

My roommate was a judgemental asshole. To quote Sir Terry Pratchett, "Just because someone is part of a minority doesn't mean they can't also be a small minded prick." One of my roommates judged me for EVERYTHING. Nothing I did was good enough, and if he found out something he didn't like he would hang it over my head and never stop giving me shit for it. I hated it. I hated it within weeks of arriving but I didn't want to leave because that would be 'admitting defeat' or some bullshit (it was ten years ago, I forget exactly how I justified it.)

I had to give up all the friends and family I had in the move. The part of the country I moved to was a place that I had never been before. I had no friends there, I had no family there. All I had to rely on was my two roommates. One of them clearly didn't want an extra roommate but went along with it because his boyfriend wanted it (I feel bad for him these days,) the other one... see item 2. This also leads into item four...

Because I had no friends and family there, I had no safety net. Asshole roommate constantly reminded me if I didn't get a 'better job' (and good luck to me on that given the circumstances) I'd be out on my ass, in a totally unfamiliar city. I had no help there besides them and he knew it, and he held that over me every chance he got.

Finally, after six months, I managed to move back in with my mother in Kentucky. This story does have a happy ending though. I wound up splitting up with my at the time partner (who in hindsight really wasn't a good match for me, though I hear they're doing much better these days,) and it was the wake up call I needed to get some college education. That didn't go great, but having even partial college on a resume helped me get a job that was far FAR better than retail work which I've held for over five years now.

I realized too that while Kentucky isn't great on progressiveness as a whole... the part of the state I'm from actually is. We're part of the Cincinnati Metropolitan Area (which basically means "if it wasn't for state lines we'd just be part of Cincinnati") and there's actually a really big LGBTQA+ community around here. These days I see Pride bumper stickers everywhere, and there's several houses nearby with Pride flags as well.

In Kentucky. Yes, that Kentucky.

But my point is... even assuming a person CAN move, it doesn't mean that it'll fix everything. In my case those six months were absolutely hellish despite living with a queer couple in a major city. My life only improved AFTER I moved back to Deep-in-the-Red-State Kentucky. Because the part I'm in has a good community, I have friends and family who support me, I have a good job here, and I have a good life here in spite of what some idiot in the state capitol is up to.

In closing, I have this to say: If you hear someone talking about queer issues in their home state and your first instinct is to tell them to just move to California or New York or some other state... just shut the hell up.

#lgbtq #lgbtq community #moving #politics #american politics

[writing-and-rebloging]

Macbeth, Jellal and parallels.

Quick preface, I'm taking the Anime add ons in the Oracion Seis arc and the Starry Sky filler as canon, because they give a lot more substance and treat the Seis nicely enough (and much better than the manga), respectively.

Acknowledgement

In a way. It's what all of this hinges upon. In a turn of events, Macbeth recognizes the darkness and cruelty simmering in Jellal's head, compares them to his own, and says that due to that, Jellal would fit perfectly in Oracion Seis. Morally corrupt, cruel and powerful... Jellal is just like them, isn't he? In the anime, the vibes of condescendingly saying "can't you see you're just like me? No matter how much you deny it. No matter how much you say you're disgusted by my actions, you're just as bad." are simply immaculate.

Past

While they share this with other characters, they were both enslaved children in the tower of Heaven. A past neither of them like to talk about. They were weak, helpless, and it fucked them up (Jellal was tortured to insanity, Macbeth has night terrors and several dealer's choice sleep issues thanks to the tower) majorly. Jellal barely talks about the tower in general unless it's to make a point of his atonement, and Macbeth only mentions it three time, two while throwing what he did to Jellal's face and one while lashing out at Erza for not going back to save anyone from her boyfriend's cruelty.

The fact that they couldn't do anything to defend themselves while other people kicked them around eats at them, and while we know they were kids, it's not something they consider in the equation at all. They're ashamed of it, unlike Erza or Milliana, and it leads to the second and third points.

Manipulation.

After being tortured for hours, "Zeref" (who was just Ultear. Who interestingly enough also gets tortured within an inch of her life by Brain, but that's for another post) reaches out to Jellal and gives him the power to take over the Tower of Heaven, while weeks or months later Brain "adopts" Macbeth and the other four members of Oracion Seis, and teaches them how to use a wide variety of magic.

They both end up on positions of power. Jellal as the ruler of the Tower of Heaven. Macbeth as the favorite son, with all that implies. And while they gain something (safety, for starters) out of it, they're also at someone else's mercy. Jellal is being manipulated by "Zeref" into completing the Tower to bring him back, while Macbeth is in turn groomed by Brain into being the perfect soldier to maintain the magic link keeping Zero at bay, and carry out his plans so that he can hide away.

Drunk on power.

They embody this more than any of the other Tower kids that became villains. They're given power, both raw in the form of incredible magical abilities and over other people (albeit in different ways). And they get drunk on it.

Jellal runs the tower like a tyrant, ordering and bullying people around. He threatens his friends, murders one of them, and even almost sacrifices Erza, who he held dear above anyone else.

Macbeth on the other hand, we can assume is encouraged to hurt people as much as he pleases, as long as he gets the job done. We see that when he tortures Eve, and when he says he wants to see Erza and Jellal in pain. 

Both of them use that power to inflict pain, and that pain to soothe the wound of having been taken advantage of when they were vulnerable. It makes them feel safe, being above other people.

Magic

While this is anime only, as we never see him use it again, Macbeth ends up using the same dark magic as Brain, and, if we look at some spells that Jellal uses back in the tower... The resemblance is enough to assume it's the same kind of magic. And while not immensely relevant, it sure is fun that they would use the same magic, all things considered.

Extending a hand to each other in the worst way possible (while mocking Jellal's worst insecurity vs after beating the crap out of Macbeth) should also be listed, tbh. But this is long enough.

These similarities, however, would make them want to throw up if pointed out rather than bring them closer.

Anyways. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#I'm hyperfixating horribly. So I'll make it everyone else's problem #Tempted to do a little rant post of Macbeth and how he's self aware to his own detriment #Fairy tail #fairy tail midnight #Fairy tail Macbeth #jellal fernandes

[googleitlol]

Wanna add some pre-journey stuff, so here’s a piece from Dove and Wukong’s first encounter! And… some sad stuff too.

Dove Masterlist:

After nearly two months, the wonders of the Jade Palace finally begin to feel normal. No other building you've seen could hold a candle to the magnificence of the Heaven's themselves. Yet, you found yourself becoming bored over the past weeks. As perfect as it all is, that was it.

Nothing of significance ever happens. No demons to stir troubles, no bickering that could evolve into full-on battles. Even the soldiers work long uneventful patrols, which did have the upside of letting you share their company and stories of battles. They wouldn't oppose to sparring either, which kept you entertained.

If they were busy, you found yourself doing odd jobs to keep yourself occupied any way you could. Whether that was running tedious errands for Laozi, cleaning and polishing the weapons in the royal armoury, anything you could find that needed to be done, you'd do. Of course, there isn’t always extra work to be done.

It's fine, though. If Guan Yin says this is the best option for you, then so be it. Besides, the gardens are beautiful here, even if they didn't compare to the bamboo grove you became accustomed to in your home. Your mind wanders to thoughts of your old home and the nearby village.

How was everyone? You could only hope Moksa explained on your behalf why you had not returned. Mei must have married that young man by now, and Guiying had only just started her practice in medicine when she left, how was she faring? There was also Lin, he was always so studious, how much has he learned now? Or better yet, has he finally noticed the fleeting glances of that sweet—

A violent rumble ripples through the halls of the palace, harshly dragging you from your thoughts. The ground shakes, making you stumble to find your balance against the wall. Before you can even begin to ponder what is going on, panicked shouts and screams echo through the halls and realization dawns on you.

Is this an attack? Finally! Something to do!

As swift as your legs can be, you rush to your room to grab your bow and quiver. Whoever this is who had decided to attack the heavenly palace, the panic they caused quickly spread through the grounds. You have to push against a crowd of officials, several residents of the palace fighting to get as far from the sounds of chaos as they can.

It takes time, but once you get through a decent amount of the crowd, it begins to thin out, a few stragglers following behind. Metal clashing against a wall makes the halls quake, quivering in fear of the carnage that took hold of the palace. The closer you get, the easier it is to make our voices through the static of destruction. It isn't until you reach the site of battle that you understand what the others ran for.

There is no army, no group responsible for the disruption. No, instead your gaze lays on a heavenly official, golden whip in hand and striking at a demon. Smoke billows off the monster, who doesn't bother to block the attacks. He charges his opponent, an iron rod held tightly in his grip. You have never laid eyes on the demon before, but can instantly recognize the features of the stone monkey.

Sun Wukong has been released from the Trigram Furnace? But how? The self-proclaimed Great Sage holds a crazed— no— feral look in his blood red eyes. His expression twists and screams in outrage, his attacks like those of a wild animal. The red and golden robes on his person are singed and burnt, the stench of burnt hair slowly filters through the air and reaches you, making you scrunch your face in disgust.

His wild attacks are forcing the celestial to take the defence, the man just barely dodging each swing Sun Wukong makes with his staff. To keep this up will be near-impossible, the monkey is relentless with each attack. With such blind anger, he could kill someone.

Your brows furrow as you think of what to do. Running was out of the question, but you stand no chance against that demon. You remember the force it took to capture him before, there was no way to match that on your own. But you can't just leave the poor official on his own. Is he an immortal that can’t die, or is he only ageless? Could he survive much longer?

As the questions swarm your mind, an idea strikes, your eyes narrowing as a plan begins to materialize. Defeating this monster on your own is out of the question, not while he's in such a crazed state of mind. You just had to take him out of that state.

Nocking an arrow, you draw back the string. You steady your breath, refusing to allow your fear to let you shake. This will have to be quick. One wrong move and you might just die. Guan Yin will not approve of that.

You slow your breath as the man locked in combat falls to the ground. Just as the demon pounces, you release the arrow, letting it strike Sun Wukong. It plunges into his side, and though his reaction is minor, the quick swivel of his head in your directions shows that you now have what you wanted. The stone monkey's attention.

In the flash of a moment, your head collides with the ground as the monster tackles you to the floor. A strangle of a gasp manages to escape your lungs, your breath leaving the moment your back hit the floor. Your grip on the bow is immediately lost as it clatters to the ground, your head pounding as it fights to make sense of its abrupt shift in orientation.

The demon glares down with a murderous look. His breathing is ragged, canines on full display in a snarl. While his eyes from a distance were a fiery red, you only realize now that the colour did not come from his pupils. Those are much too small to discern any colour from, and the slight trail of smoke that escaped the corners of his eyes took most of the attention away from them anyway.

He holds you down with a hand that grips your collarbone in a iron-tight hold, any harder and it might just snap in two. You already know of his strength, having heard stories from the soldiers that encountered him in battle after the festival, but to experience it firsthand was beyond terrifying.

The monkey holds his staff high over his head, your eyes widening at the threat of having your skull crushed under the weapon. With your senses returning, you wrap both of your arms around his own that holds you down. Closing your eyes tight, you begin to focus on your own energy. Just like you were taught... how Guan Yin showed you to envision it.

Everyone had their own pool of energy, their own force that was tethered to themselves. All you have to do was envision that divide between every person, the earth separating each individual's pool, and move it. With a shuddering breath, careful to only share what was necessary, you begin to move the blockage.

The moment your little pool of energy trickles into his own, the demon's breathing slows. His vice-like grip on your person starts to loosen, the bones beneath your skin no longer held hostage. Opening your eyes, you can see how his own begin to dilate. Now with sense behind them, the stone monkey’s golden irises look around in a daze.

Blinking slowly, the monkey lowers his weapon while you breathe a sigh of relief. The ape is back to his right state of mind, hopefully that can even the fight. Was the distraction enough time for the official to recover?

As relieving as it is for your plan to have worked and to no longer have a magical staff looming over you with the threat of death, it doesn't stop the underlying sense of dread created by the Great Sage's open stare. While his gaze is no longer filled with a violent rage, the calculating yet curious look he now gives lent you no sense of comfort.

A few silent moments pass before you attempt to sit up, but the demon keeps his hold firm. Your struggle doesn't seem to do anything to him, the stone monkey tilting his head in a curious fashion. "What was that?" He asks as you continue on your attempt to remove his hand. The action goes ignored as he seems more concerned with his questions. "What did you do to me?"

Despite the steady growth of your underlying panic, you manage to keep your composure and face him with a wry grin. "I kept you distracted, bastard monkey."

"Oh." The response makes him smirk, finding amusement in your words, though it’s clear he's taken aback from the twitch of the corner of his mouth. "Such vulgar words, maiden?"

"Only reserved for those who deserve them." You grin as the heavenly official from before sends his whip towards the monkey, the distraction giving him the chance to recover. The golden whip lashes around the arm holding you down and pulls it away from your person.

Weight now lifted off your chest, you're finally able to scramble away from the Monkey King. "Hurry, go now!" The official calls out, pulling the Great Sage towards him while the other readies his staff. The demon smirks, but before he can make another charge, the sound of thunder crackles through the halls. Yeah, this was now a much more even fight.

With a sigh of relief, you grab your bow from where it fell previously and run back around the corner of the hall. You've done your part, and hopefully now the Monkey King will be more easily subdued. You can only pray that they lock up that demon for the rest of his immortal life.

~~~~

Several hours pass before news catches your ears of the Buddha's involvement. You must admit, the Monkey King's reign met an interesting end, not to say you aren't grateful for it. Hearing of his feats and mischief was one thing, but to see his power yourself was a truly grounding experience. Good riddance to that headache of a demon. It only took about a week or so before a banquet to be held in celebration of his defeat.

That's when the news arrived.

"Moksa!" You couldn't have known your fellow disciple and brother would visit after the celebration. It may have been a surprise, but a welcome one at that.

Not caring for anyone that may have been present, you drop all formalities as you run to encompass the man in your embrace. His laughter is comforting to hear after going so long without a familiar face. "Hello to you as well, little sister."

Your smile could bring light to the darkest of nights in that moment. "What are you doing here? Is it time already? Can I go back home for the journey?"

"No." Moksa shakes his head in amusement, though you notice his smile falter. "No, there are still many years below before that. You're still so impatient." You step back to release him from your hold as he answers, less annoyed than you usually are whenever he makes such side comments.

With a roll of your eyes, you shake your head. "Does Guan Yin have a message for me? Or maybe you just miss me?" The hearty laugh that leaves your brother quickly makes you dismiss the idea.

But the laughter quickly subsides, the air suddenly becoming thick as his smile fades. All of a sudden, the situation feels much more serious than you initially expected. Moksa sighed. "Guan Yin did send for me to retrieve you, but only for a little while. She felt you would want to be back home today."

What does that mean? Of course you want to come back home, that's how you've felt since the day you were left here. But what makes today so special? As excited as you feel, you can't help but frown as Moksa leads you to the Southern Gate.

Summoning a cloud, you both descend onto the earth. Warmth fills your chest at the sight of your old home, the mountains that stretch over the horizons, the winding paths taken by travellers and merchants. It's funny, you never think about those kinds of details until you don't have them anymore.

Nonetheless, the sight of the village brings you a sense of joy you haven't felt in ages. The village was larger than you remember, they must have expanded in the time you've been gone. How much has changed since you left?

It doesn't take long for you both to land, though Moksa quickly began to rise again as you step onto the ground. "I will return to help you back to the Jade Palace once you are done." He explains, the somber look on his face grounding you once more.

"Wait, but what am I..." He's gone before you can even finish. "...doing." Huh, okay. You take a glance around the village, instantly recognizing the houses before you. Moksa had dropped you off just behind the house you busted frequently before this whole peach festival mess even happened.

Walking over to the front of the structure, you see a little kid running towards the house, maybe around ten or so. You pause the moment he locks eyes with you, the little boy frozen at the approach of a supposed stranger. He looks... he's just like...

"Shun!" A voice calls out, and the boy immediately looks past you towards the house. Your eyes widen at the sight of an older man. With hairs beginning to grey with wrinkles only just beginning to crease his forehead and the corners of his eyes, before you is the older face of a dear friend.

Without hesitation, you run to hold the man in your arms. "Lin! I can’t believe it, look at you!" The man stiffens in your hold, his eyes large as you grin widely. He really did age gracefully. "I’ve counted the days since my departure, I hope Moksa kept his word and explained why I never came back. Are the others still here? Has Guiying finally—"

"Father, who is this?" The little boy slowly approaches as you release who you expect to be his father from your embrace. He has to be Lin’s son, he looks so much like him!

As the boy— Shun was his name wasn't it? As Shun approaches, you kneel down to greet him and tell him your name. "I was good friends with your father many years ago." You explain, smiling at the boy. It would be a lie to say that this isn't all a shock for you. Of course you expected Lin to have a family by this point, though the kid is younger than you thought he'd be— unless of course Lin had another older child.

At your words, the boy gives you a look of recognition. "Like the one from grandfather's stories?" His question makes you frown as his gaze shifts to his parent. "I thought those were made up!"

It takes a moment for Shun's words to sink in, and for a moment, you're frozen where you kneel. Did he say... grandfather?

A hand rests on your shoulder, and you look up to see the boy's father a second time. Looking at him again... you begin to notice there are some features that are Lin’s, but his eyes were different. "I think there has been a misunderstanding." He begins as you rise back to your feet. "I am Ru Jiahao, and I think the person you are looking for is my father."

"Your father?" You echo his words, not entirely hearing them the first time. This man, he's Lin’s son?

The man gives an awkward sigh, nodding to the house. "Shun, go ahead and get inside. Everyone else is already in the house." The little boy nods, following his father's instructions and running into the house. With his son no longer present, Jiahao properly greets you. "It is an honour to meet you, my father always told us stories of how you kept our village from harm in the past."

His words suddenly feel surreal, the initial shock exponentially increased as he guides me into his home. Inside awaits the little boy, Shun, accompanied by two older girls and a young man, their somber faces all turning to you in confusion before understanding washes over. Are these all Lin’s grandchildren?

This is all so much, you barely even register the question asked until you feel the room's expecting gaze on you. Blinking yourself from your stupor, you look back to Jiahao. "Apologies, would you repeat that?"

The man frowns. "Ma'am," Ma'am? "you have come to visit my father, is that correct?"

You look over the expressions across the room. Their faces, all sharing the same wide-eyed look of wonder, watching your every move. It makes you shift uncomfortably, the way they look at you. "I... my fellow disciple escorted me back to the village. He said I would want to be here today."

You can't shake the way they all watch the conversation, nor their sorrowful expressions before you entered the room initially. The air feels cold, a looming cloud hanging over the family. "Tell me, where is your father?" You ask the man before two women enter from another room of the house.

One seemed about the age of Jiahao, perhaps his wife, the other much older. The elderly woman has her hair tied into a tight bun, not a single silver strand out of place. Wrinkles carved soft features over her forehead and the corners of her lips, crows feet almost meeting her temples. Holding onto a cane for support, she gasps the moment her eyes rest on you. She calls your name, and though her voice is hoarse and scratched with age, you recognize who it belongs to.

Your eyes widen, and you can feel your eyes begin to water. "Mei?" The woman smiles softly as you call her name, it takes a moment for her to hobble to you while the rest of the house watches in silence.

"My... you look the same as the day you left." Her hand slowly reaches to wrap you in a hug, her arms no longer holding the strength she had in her youth. Her youth...

She quickly turns to cast a glare over our audience. "What are you all gawking at? Jiahao, take them all to see your father and give us some privacy."

"Yes, Mother." Your eyes widen at the reply, barely able to keep your jaw from going slack as the man escorts his family into the room Mei entered from. Mother?! Did that mean Lin and Mei... but what about that man she never stopped talking about? You thought she would have married him, but Lin?! They couldn’t stand each other!

Before you can contemplate all that you must have missed, Mei takes your hands in her own. The smile she has is the same warm smile you remember all those months... years ago. "Is it time for you to go on that journey now? Prince Moksa told us what happened, I never thought we would see you again, old friend!"

Old friend? "No, there's still more time, but... what happened? You married Lin? You— you have a family!" You smile, overcome with a sense of pride and longing for your friend that overlaps with a thousand more emotions of joy and grief.

Mei’s smile falters, her eyes casting down. “Yes, well… you came to visit with a funny sense of timing.” Your brows furrow at her words, and she looks up at you with a sigh. “Here, follow me.”

Taking your hand, your friend guides you to where the others are. The room feels cramped with the number of bodies in the space. A bed lays against the far wall, an elderly man it’s only occupant. The first word that comes to mind is frail. Skin encloses bone with barely any muscle left, his movements are stiff, rigid. “Lin, look at who came to visit.” Mei announces your arrival.

It takes a moment for him to get a good look in your direction, his eyes growing larger in surprise. “Is it true?” He smiles, eyes landing on you and Mei. “My Love, are my eyes playing tricks on me again?”

Mei crosses to her husband, her smile warm as her hand finds his. “Our friend has come back to pay us a visit, Dear.” She answers, looking to you expectantly. With caution, you move to meet the two at his side.

“Lin?” Your voice is barely a whisper. This doesn’t feel real.

The old man smiles, calling your name as you take a knee at his side. “You sure took your time coming back.”

“You didn’t think you saw the last of me, did you?” You jest despite your throat feeling tight. This is all too much, seeing him like this. Of course you know that it’s been decades for him, you know your friends would age without you, the whole reason you’re living in the Heavens is because no mortal human alive now will live to the day you’ll be needed. But at the same time, actually being here, seeing the state of your friend…

You aren’t ready for this. “Lin, you—”

“I know.” His wife let’s go of his hands so he can rest one of his own on yours. “How are you? You promised to tell me what it was like up there.”

Of course, even in his old age, his curiosity is a top priority. “I’m fine, it can get boring, if I’m honest. Right up your alley.”

He laughs, but it sounds pained. Before you can blink he’s jolting upright and lets out a horrid coughing fit. Mei sits on the edge of the bed, her hand running up and down his back before guiding him back to lay down.

Jiahao steps forward, putting a hand on his father’s shoulder. The pain in his expression slams into your chest with brute force, your gaze wandering to the rest of his family. The younger children stand in a huddle with their mother’s arms draping over them. The youngest one you met outside, Shun, has his face turned away into his mother’s side.

Your eyes fall back on your friend, a man you can barely recognize as realization forces it’s way through. A statement you had known but never truly accepted until now. These faces, both new and old, were the sharp edge of the blade of truth, and it cut deeper than you ever thought it could.

Your friends have lived their life, and you missed it all.

“Lin?” Your attention snaps back to Mei, her voice in clear distress. The elder’s breathing is laboured, each intake of breath a struggle. His eyes are unfocused, almost glazed. “My Love?”

His eyes wander the room, looking to each and every person. When he looks to you, he weakly smiles, calling your name that he can barely get out. You shake your head, tears pricking your eyes. “Lin, don’t. Save your breath.”

“No.” He sighs, his voice strained. “It’s been over sixty years since I’ve seen my friend… I’d like to talk with her. Is that… a problem?” Each inhale is a battle, fights that twists your stomach as you witness them.

This is it. “Not a problem at all.” You smile, ignoring the tear that runs down your cheek. “Do you want to hear about the Jade Palace?”

His content smile is enough, and you begin to share with the man everything that happened in the celestial realm. You notice some of the children listen with wide eyes, Mei asks questions in Lin’s place while you try your best to be as detailed as possible. You tell them about the beauty of the palace and the gardens, the deities and officials, and the havoc caused by the stone monkey. You tell him everything, even after the moment he is no longer there.

Several minutes pass before it's only you and Mei left in the room. You've never seen such a pained look on her face before, her hand holding onto her husband's arm. It hurts to see the woman like this.

"...Where's Guiying?" You ask, eyes never leaving your now still friend.

Mei's gaze remains downcast. "You just missed her. She left two days ago after receiving a message for help. Merchants on the road needed medical attention." So she was able to practice medicine? Good...

The air feels thick, stuffed with grief and sorrow. Lin was one of the first people you met after Guan Yin saved you. At the time he was just a kid, like you were. Timid, but able to stand up for himself when he needed it.

Your eyes shift to Mei, her own clouded over. How terrible must she feel now? Losing your friend after ten years, the pain threatens to rip at your chest and crush your heart. Your stomach is heavy, stones of regret pulling down and grounding your body like a steel weight. But Mei's lost her love, her closest companion after decades that proceed your own life more than three times over.

"Mei?" You call her name gently, hand holding her wrist with care. "Do you want me to..."

She shakes her head, eyes now closed. "No. It's alright, I don't need you to use any magic." Her gaze falls back on you, a sad smile now resting over her frail features. "Your presence is enough."

You go to speak, but your throat begins to swell and all you can do is wrap your arms around your old friend. She reciprocates the hug, and you're not sure how long you stay like that, but it's comforting.

When it's finally time for Moksa to bring you back to the celestial realm, you find yourself grieving the life of a friend as well as the life you never got to live. This wouldn't be the last visit.

#jttw #jttw dove #jttw sun wukong #jttw sun wukong x reader #journey to the west #journey to the west sun wukong #jttw monkey king #jttw x reader

[satancopilotsmytardis]

I vote "I really, really want to kiss you right now" with shigadabi!

Prompt: "I really, really want to kiss you right now."

Rolling with the League of Villains is... strange. Strange because he hasn't really been around other people so consistently for the past few years, strange because they're being bankrolled by the biggest fucking supervillain in Japan's history, strange because all of the League members are a bunch of fucking freaks. The lineup is lizard Stain cosplayer, teenage vampire yandere, man with psyche literally held together by a paper bag, magician, woman with over forty attempted murders on her record, and a man who's held together with fucking staples and revenge. Yeah, he's including himself in the list of freaks. He's not delusional. 

And of course, there's also Shigaraki. 

Way grosser in person. That's what he'd said. Had been the fastest thing he could think of when he'd met eyes the color of blood and had gotten distracted from his revenge for the first time in years. Pretty red eyes. The severed hands were gross though. The way that he fucking listened to whatever All For One and Kurogiri said were pretty gross. Maybe he's projecting a little too much of his own baggage, but he never really likes it when anyone looks at a father-figure as an absolute source of authority. And maybe Shigaraki is gross. He's having a hard time remembering that right now. When they've all been drinking in the bar. Started off as just one, just blowing off steam after working on a job for the past few weeks, but it had gotten a little out of control when one of Twice's contradictions landed him in a drinking contest against Magne. She demolished him. Toga had followed up saying that she bet she could take Spinner and Compress. The older had protested, said she was too young to drink like that, she'd thrown a knife at him and he'd sighed heavily and let the other two go. Spinner had faired about as well as Twice had. 

It had been around then that Twice and Spinner came whining to him to save the guys' dignity. He'd told them to fuck off, wasn't about to try to drink someone that much heartier than him, and someone so much younger, under the table. Especially not when he'd only had a couple and they were already well into their cups. Besides, he didn't need to show them how badly his quirk reacted to excessive alcohol. Didn't need them to see that just a few shots could have him swaying in half an hour and the heightened metabolism would have him hung over in another. That he drinks slowly for a reason and drinks for the taste rather than the effects. There's good reason Kurogiri only shares the good stuff with him, Compress, and Shigaraki. 

Who, of course, had been the next target to try and take down the ladies. But Shigaraki had scoffed, told them that he wasn't about to get drunk over something so stupid, especially not with all of them crammed into the small room together. Especially, especially not when they were crammed in together and nearly everyone else was already swaying. Been living together with him, Toga, and Kurogiri for two months now, has only ever seen him wearing his gloves very early in the morning, right when he gets up. Hasn't ever seen him destroy anything he didn't mean to, but still. He'd been a little pleased that their fearless leader had decided that they were all useful enough that he didn't want to risk killing them in a drunken accident. Not that Shigaraki is drunk. Drinks slower than him. Wonders if his meticulous control is why he does it. Means that he has to watch him for a while out of the corner of his eye if he wants to see him take a drink. Likes to see when he tips the last of his cup back and swallow, neck a long pale line, littered with scars and scratches. Pretty too. Really wants to sink his teeth into it. 

Finishes his drink too because he really needs to stop thinking about Shigaraki like that. Likes having a place to act as a temporary home, likes having allies to help clear his path, likes being alive for the most part as he plots his revenge and if Duster catches wind of his stupid little crush then he's going to live up to his nickname. Kurogiri left them all to their own devices a few hours ago. Spinner and Twice are passed out across the armchair and couch. Compress left to go back to whatever haunt he calls home once they'd gone down. Toga and Magne are bored with them and seem to be planning to go out for the remainder of the night. 

"Don't get caught," Shigaraki tells them mildly, but makes no move to stop them. 

"Kay-kay, Tomu." Dabi snorts, Toga is definitely drunk, but Magne still seems fine, should be able to keep an eye on their youngest just fine. They leave and then it's just him and Shigaraki. 

He reaches for the bottle and pours himself another two fingers before offering the bottle to his boss. Shigaraki takes it, pours the same amount into his glass and then stands. "Come on," 

Dabi blinks, definitely a little foggy himself. Knows it'll fade in twenty minutes if he finishes this drink before then. Could wait it out for a few minutes and let his head clear more, but he's not swaying, not slurring, just feels a little distant. Preferred level of intoxicated really, just enough to make the ever-present ache of his scars feel a little far away. Grabs his glass and follows Duster out of the room. 

They make their way up to the roof. The night air is pleasantly cool against his skin and he lets out a breath. Didn't realize the alcohol had crept his temperature so fucking high. But when he exhales, his breath steams in the air. Absolutely not cold enough for that and Duster catches it. 

"You always go so hot when you drink?" 

No. Definitely a combination of being too relaxed having somewhere safe to be, the alcohol, and being around Shigaraki himself. "Depends on what I'm drinking." He says instead. They move over to the ledge and Shigaraki sits with his legs hanging over the edge. Dabi follows him. Wonders how close he's allowed to sit. Wants to sit with their shoulders pressed together. Figures he really, really shouldn't. Fucking. Didn't know bratty supervillains with mops of pale hair were his type. Thinks his type might actually be 'could kill me in a split second' but he doesn't want to think about that too hard. Sits with a foot of space between them. 

It's nice up here. The sky is clear tonight and while they can't see any stars, Kamino is a big city, sparking with night life all around them. The glow of he city reflects off Shigaraki's pale skin, bleaches his hair white, the slash over his eye and lips are stark against his skin, and make him look like a ghost. A demon, maybe, with those red, red eyes. Something ethereal and dangerous. Takes another sip from his glass and watching his lips part for the drink has him going a little hotter. His skin has a strange texture, hasn't ever gotten to touch him, wants to, like his quirk is slowly shattering him too. Wonders if he would feel broken too if he ever got to put his own ruined mouth against his. 

That's a stupid and dangerous line of thought to entertain and he shifts his attention. "Why're we up here, boss?" Hopes he sounds uninterested as he brings his glass back to his lips, forces himself to stop looking. 

"Been staring at me all night, figured you had something you wanted to say. Figured this would be be more private than staying downstairs where one of the others might wake up." 

Shit. That fucking obvious, huh? Really didn't mean to be. Glad he has a second as he takes a drink to try and figure out something to say. It's a fucking travesty that he doesn't. That instead of saying literally anything else, he ends up mumbling, "I really, really want to kiss you right now." Instead of anything intelligible. 

Silence stretches between them for a few seconds. Yeah. Well. He should probably be moving really fucking quickly. Is definitely well within arm's reach. Doesn't move though, because if Shigaraki doesn't dust him he's probably going to just have to set himself on fire and then jump off the roof to escape this. Absolutely never going to live this down when he's not even drunk. Shigaraki sets his glass to the side before he turns to him. Doesn't know what to do now that he has those ruby red eyes on him. Is really expecting to die though. Really isn't expecting for Shigaraki to say,

"Okay,"

And more silence to stretch between them as Dabi's brain short-circuits. He waits. Waits for the other man to laugh, to mock him, to kill him. But Shigaraki is just watching him. Cool. Considering. Doesn't move another inch. Dabi doesn't move either. Feels like this horrible pause is going to keep going on forever. 

"Well?" 

He sounds a little strangled when he finally finds his voice, "You... want me to?" 

"I'm curious and if it doesn't work out," he sounds completely disinterested as he goes on, "It's late and we can pretend we were drunk in the morning." Shigaraki reaches for his glass and takes it out of his hand. Dabi tries to get with the fucking program. Okay. Not going to die probably if he tries this. Duster's even trying to give him an excuse if this goes fucking terribly. Fine. Feels his contrary side rearing up sharply. Won't let it go terribly then. 

His skin is still a little too warm as he reaches out and curls a hand around the back of Shigaraki's neck. The other man lets him pull him in. Does his best to lower his temperature a bit more before he takes a small breath as he's leaning in. Shigaraki's mouth is still so cool against his. He... doesn't push. Thinks that this is probably too chaste given who they are, but he doesn't try to deepen it. It's just a firm press of their lips against each other. Their lips are dry and he can feel the scar running over Duster's, wonders if he can feel the seam running through his bottom lip as well. Only lasts a few seconds because Dabi is pretty sure that if he doesn't stop now, he's never going to want to. Pulls back a little. Has red eyes on his again, still considering. Had a lot of his firsts pretty late, given the fucking burning to death and subsequent coma, but Dabi wasn't as nervous about any of those firsts as he is about how Duster is going to react to this first kiss. 

A startled breath catches in the back of his throat as a deadly hand wraps around his hip, the other mirroring his around the back of his neck. But he isn't killed. Instead Shigaraki is pressing towards him this time. Is the one sealing their mouths together again and he does it much more firmly than Dabi had. Kisses him hard, nips at his lip until his mouth opens on a tiny gasp. Didn't expect this. Didn't expect Duster's hands to be so sure, for his kiss to be so demanding. Doesn't know if he's going to burn or drown when his tongue slips between the seam of his lips. 

Lets his fingers tangle into that mop of pale hair, thick and soft between them, as he opens, as their tongues meet. They both taste like whiskey, but Dabi knows he also tastes like smoke most of the time too. Duster tastes like... cold. Didn't know cold had a taste, but it's there, hidden on his tongue, behind his teeth, and Dabi comes to the horrible realization that he's going to fucking crave it after this. Gonna make it really hard to do his job and pretend this never happened in the morning. 

Wonders if he's going to have to when Shigaraki is pushing him back until Dabi's flat against the cool roof, knee between his legs, Duster's hands still on him, one finger carefully raised on each. When they're still kissing, barely parting for breath before pulling each other back in again. When they're making out on the roof like a couple of teenagers and not two wanted criminals. Shigaraki nips at his lip and even though it's light, it still sends a needle-point of pain along the seam of his lip. The type of hurt that makes all of his skin feel a little too hot and a little too tight as he lets out a breathy sigh against the other man's mouth. The sound seems to spur Shigaraki on, kisses him harder, keeps nipping and biting at his mouth and Dabi gives as good as he gets, until both of their mouths are going to be flushed and bruised. Wonders if he asked, if Shigaraki would let him put bruises on his long pretty neck too. 

Doesn't get a chance to ask when both of their phones start screeching at them. Dabi is very tempted to ignore them, wants to keep Duster's mouth on his, his weight on top of his body, but Shigaraki restrains him with four fingers pressed against his chest as he starts to sit up, pulling his phone out of his pocket. Dabi doesn't bother to find his. It's fucking late and whoever's calling is fucking up what might be his only chance to mess around with his boss. He's not really feeling charitable enough to answer right now. 

"What?" And at least Shig sounds as annoyed as Dabi is feeling. There's a frantic burst of speech from the other end of the line and Dabi recognizes the overlapping voices of Magne and Toga, though he can't really make out what they're saying. "I told you not to get caught. Text Kurogiri, I'm busy." And he hangs up. 

Dabi doesn't know if he should be amused and maybe a little flattered or disturbed that making out with him is higher on Duster's priority list than potentially two of their own getting arrested. "They gonna be okay?" 

"Kurogiri will retrieve them." Shigaraki says, disinterestedly before he's leaning back in. Dabi is expecting a kiss, not expecting him to lean in and murmur against his ear, "I really, really want to fuck you, baby." Can't hide the way the words make a shiver run down his spine even as his temperature creeps a few degrees hotter. Red, red eyes on his and absolutely smoldering with heat. 

"Okay." 

Thanks for submitting! I'm still accepting prompts from this list!

#my writing #shigadabi #mha fanfiction #fanfiction #ask #asks #writing prompt #prompt response

[bestillmyslashyheart]

all hail the queen

on ao3 (technically part 4 but parts 1-3 are unrelated/not required reading to understand this)

“Someone do something,” Big hissed under his breath. He got several dirty looks and a swift kick to the kidneys in response. 

“Problem?” Porsche asked.

“No,” Big gritted out. He and Porsche would never be friends, at times they managed to scrape together some measure of civility, and right now he’d really like to punch him in the face. If it wouldn’t guarantee him a bullet wound when Khun Kinn returned. 

Kinn had been out of town for three days now and wasn’t expected back for another two. In his absence, Porsche held the reins to the business. Which included the meetings, and the paperwork, and the training. Big thought it was proving a bit too much for him to handle since the man had only gotten more and more aggravating as time passed. 

Yesterday, he’d almost taken one of the new trainees heads off for asking a question. Today, he was taking the senior bodyguards to task, all those that hadn’t accompanied Khun Kinn on his business trip were subject to the worst training experience of their lives. (Big might or might not be having flashbacks to the two times he and Ken had been allowed to punish Porsche years before)

On Big’s left, Pete stumbled and fell, his knee banging audibly against the concrete floor. “Fuck,” Pete cursed. 

“What was that?” Porsche snapped. Pete’s mouth snapped shut and he visibly forced himself to his feet.

“Nothing, Porsche, all good!” The man tried to say brightly but it was a clear struggle. Porsche didn’t seem to notice or care. He narrowed his eyes at Pete before giving one firm nod and turning to one of the other guys.

“Ok,” Pol huffed. “If Pete’s not safe…” then no one was, he left unsaid. “We need to do something.”

“I just said that,” Big sniped. “God, what crawled up his ass and died?” 

“Big,” Porsche’s voice was deceptively soft. And terrifyingly close. Big wasn’t sure when Porsche had time to get behind him but he was hovering just over his shoulder and had clearly heard everything. “I think this training is proving too difficult for you,” he continued, stalking around him until Big was forced to look him in the eye. “You’re excused.” 

Big straightened as best he could. “I am?” 

Porsche smiled and Big’s heart sank. “You are,” he confirmed. “Khun Tankhun is going shopping and needs an escort. Since you can’t handle today’s training, you will be on his detail.” Porsche twisted his wrist to check the time. “He’s leaving in 7 minutes. Don’t keep him waiting.” Big couldn’t force himself to move. “Oh, and Torn is heading today’s team. Make sure to do whatever he says.” Big narrowed his eyes. Torn had only been with the family for four months. There was no way Big would take orders from him. “Six minutes,” Porsche added, his voice hardening. 

Big went.

Later, after seven hours and too many stores to keep track of, Big found himself back in the training arena. This time, without Porsche’s supervision.

“What’s wrong with him?” Book, one of the new trainees asked. “I’ve never seen Porsche like this.” The newbies had a romanticized view of Porsche, having been subjected to the man’s laid back style and jovial attitude. They hadn’t been out on an assignment with him yet. The man changed when Khun Kinn’s life was on the line. 

“He’s tough,” Arm defended. “He takes his job seriously and if we aren’t prepared someone can get hurt.” Pol shot him a look. “But he has been taking it a little far the past few days,” he allowed.

“When does Khun Kinn come back?” Ken was trying to stretch out his shoulder. He’d done something to it after Big had been dismissed. 

“Two days,” Pete, Big, and Arm chorused. 

“That’s too long,” Ken objected.

Big snorted. “Okay. You call him up and tell him that. Tell him to get his ass home because his boytoy has lost his mind.”

Ken grimaced. “I wouldn’t phrase it like that.”

“Who’s the boytoy?” One of the trainees whose name Big had bothered to learn yet leaned forward, his brow creased. All of the senior bodyguards turned to him in disbelief. A few of the other trainees also looked curious but wisely didn’t chime in.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Ken bemoaned in English. “Idiots. All of them.” He groaned loudly. “Pete.”

“No,” Pete replied immediately. “I’m not saying anything to him.” He had ice strapped to his bandaged knee. 

“Why didn’t he just go with Khun Kinn?” Pol asked.

“To make our lives miserable,” Big grumbled.

“Something with his brother,” Pete answered.

Arm turned to him. “...do you happen to have his brother’s phone number?” Pete shook his head.

“Hey,” Pol snapped at one of the trainees. “You’re on Khun Kim’s detail, right?” The guy nodded slowly. “Where is he?”

“Uh,” the guy stuttered.

“Pol,” Arm sighed. “We are not stalking Khun Kim to get to Porsche’s brother. Porsche and Khun Kim would kill us.”

“It’s worth a try,” Pol defended.

“You’re on your own,” Ken told him. 

Pol deflated. “Anyone else got any bright ideas?” No one answered him.

The next two days were hell. The Theerapanyakun family has always been tough with high standards for their employees but in Kinn’s absence, Porsche seemed to have taken it as a personal challenge to drive them all into the ground. Half of them, more than half if everyone forgot their pride for a second, were injured enough that they probably couldn’t go on assignment, and the rest were driven near to exhaustion by the insane schedule Porsche demanded. The man himself probably hadn’t slept much either if the bags under his eyes were any indication.

When Khun Kinn walked through the front doors, the whole building seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Everyone tried to hide it but it was audible and Khun Kinn definitely took notice.

He held a meeting with the top bodyguards as soon as he returned, wanting a full account of everything that had happened while he was away, and his eyebrows narrowed when he took in the sight of the banged up men before him. Big felt his shoulders hunch at the palpable disappointment in his eyes. 

“What happened?” Khun Kinn asked, his eyes trailing from Pete’s bandaged knee to Ken’s arm in a sling to the bruise on the side of Big’s face. “And why was I not informed immediately.”

The door shut behind them firmly and Porsche stalked past the line of men. Kinn’s eyes went to him immediately, his face brightening even as his eyes raked over the man, likely looking for injuries. “Porsche-” Kinn cut off with a huff when Porsche shoved him back onto the couch. He stripped off his jacket and bundled it into a ball and dropped it onto Kinn’s lap. “Porsche?”

“You asshole,” Porsche muttered. “I haven’t slept in five days.” He dropped onto the couch himself and laid his head on Kinn’s lap. “Continue,” he mumbled as he made himself comfortable.

Kinn stared down at him with a too soft look on his face even as he started carding a hand through Porsche’s hair. When Porsche was asleep not one minute later he looked back at the bodyguards in front of him. “Porsche?” He asked with a smirk.

They looked to each other before all looking to Pete. He nodded slowly. “He was uh-”

Kinn laughed. “Take two days off,” he told them. “I’ll be staying close to the house so there’s no need for everyone to be on duty.” When he looked back down at Porsche, it was in clear dismissal and they took no time in obeying.

#kinnporsche #kp fic #my fic #somewhat inspired by today's side story

[lyonfreddie]

this is completely self-serving but behold, a chronological list of everything that’s gone wrong in my life in just the past 2.5 weeks:

5/24: almost missed my flight home from canada

5/25: goes back to work and finds out the moms for liberty transphobic bookbanning hate group booked my museum/workplace for an event at the end of june and staff are signing a petition to cancel the event. the contract for the event was signed in DECEMBER and we just found out about it NOW. LMAO

5/26: incompetent coworker made a huge mistake in gift entry over a month ago and i just uncover it now and have to fix it (because he sure as shit won’t)

5/28: succession series finale

5/30: emergency town hall meeting @ work where many lgbtq+/poc employees share emotional, tearful personal testimony with our ceo (who says he’s listening) to cancel the moms for liberty event

5/31: renewed a museum membership for war criminal karl rove

6/1: ceo announces in the allstaff meeting that we are NOT going to cancel the moms for liberty event. staff are openly weeping. one staff member quits on the spot. ceo twists our mission statement to serve his own batshit narrative and clearly doesn’t give two shits about lgbtq+ staff. full-body breakdown number 1.

6/2: goes to an ice cream shop for a nice milkshake to cheer myself up and a random dude wordlessly steals it from the counter right in front of my face on the hottest day of the year so far like are you fucking serious

6/3: has to work a midday event and pretend i’m proud of where i work. then i decide to drive home to pet my puppies only to find someone stole my headlights and side mirrors and broke one of my car’s windows???? i had to call the police and file my first police report. full-body breakdown number 2.

6/4: car gets towed. i go home with my parents.

6/5: i take the day off work and stay home to pet my dogs. news stories start to break about the event at the museum, people start calling wanting to cancel their memberships and sever ties with the museum. i get the voicemails on my phone.

6/6: we get talking points for phone calls/feedback and they are complete dogshit. i realize i am in a position where i’m perfectly capable of doxxing our entire board of directors. SPLC designates the moms for liberty as a certified extremist group, which would have helped immensely on june 1st, but fucking whatever. have to work ANOTHER event, this one in the evening, and pretend again like i’m happy to work at the museum.

6/7: horrendous wildfire smoke, but i go into the office because i have to print and mail 120 memberships and don’t want to do any amount of work for a ceo who fucking sucks and also i’m getting like 5 calls an hour from people telling us to cancel the event and i agree with them 100% but cannot say that!!!!

6/8: staff are openly sobbing in the office because all of our diversify living history partners are (rightfully) boycotting the museum for this decision. everyone’s jobs are 10x harder. support networks that staff have spent 6 YEARS building up with vulnerable communities in the region evaporate overnight. our crowning special exhibit on a free black man from philadelphia who fought in the rev war and used his war experience to inform his later fight for abolition & voting rights now looks completely hypocritical. because of ONE MAN’S DECISION.

6/9: work anxiety finally hits and i’m sick to my stomach all day. i get to wfh at least. there’s a board meeting, but it’s virtual, and they’re all rich people who live on another fucking planet, so they have no idea how absolutely abysmal morale is. a protest is held on the plaza outside at 6pm.

6/10: i have a daytrip planned with friends that i have been looking forward to all week. one might say it was all that was getting me through the week. i call an uber to take me to the train station with time to spare. the uber gets stuck behind a fucking trash truck and i have to cancel the uber and on my friends because i’ve missed the train completely. bawling on my bedroom floor before 9am. my dad calls and i try to explain to him why moms for liberty are filth and he doesn’t believe me. full-body breakdowns numbers 3 and 4 and 5!

the funniest thing is literally all of these things are outside of my control. so like.  why do i even try. lol

#like can i catch a fucking BREAK?? can i be HAPPY for ONE DAY????? #what the fuck is going ONNNNNNNNNNNNNN

[icanonlybe-human]

Sometimes, I think about WS, and what he’d think if he saw me now. He was my best friend in years 2 and 3 of junior school. But when we were really starting to become close, his Dad got a job in another state, and they had to move away. I got really sad and depressed after, especially when he stopped texting/calling. I’d imagine him showing up at my doorstep one day, and over the years that little fantasy would end differently. In the first couple of years, I’d be overjoyed to see him, and we’d end up playing for hours. But over the years, as I became more and more mentally ill, I could picture his face starting to not recognise me anymore. When I met him and when we were friends, I was a pretty happy-go-lucky kid. But my friends started describing my eyes as sad and tired. One friend said that “Demons” by Imagine Dragons was my soul song, because my eyes conveyed how much pain I was in. How I didn’t want people getting too close.

But I came to the realisation tonight that there was no way for me to not end up like this. I’m autistic, and sadly it’s a fact that the society I’m in doesn’t develop autistic kids who don’t have some kind of trauma. Some have more trauma than others, and it just so happened that my trauma includes a guy who thought he could take what he wanted and I’d be fine with it. My life has been full of people taking advantage of me. And thanks to that, plus other crappy ways people treated me, I’ve now got severe anxiety and depression (which the doctors say I need to go to the mental hospital about), as well as agoraphobia and PTSD and the hell knows what else.

There is no reasonable way that WS would recognise me now. I’m damaged goods. A toy that has been broken numerous times and is currently being held together with sticky tape, glue and chewing gum. Because my family has tried so hard to pick me up and stick me back together again, but they’d stop at “good enough” rather than “good as new”. Truth is, I’m 80% glue and sticky tape and gum now. There’s not a whole lot left of that original toy… of me. It’s just trauma. Everyone says to just get up and go to work and sleep and eat and shit and repeat and I’ll apparently feel better. But don’t forget to take your meds cause you’re not “normal” enough without them.

If life is this repetitive shit until I die or retire, then I don’t want it. It’s been a month and I’m already tired of being just a number in the system. Live to work and work to live is a shit saying, because dragging your ass out of bed every fucking day so you can make enough money to fucking exist, and MAYBE save enough money to go on a holiday every two years, is not a way I want to live. And yet it’s the only option I’ve got.

I never stopped being suicidal. I just feel morally obliged to stick around cause I’d feel bad if work employed me for a month and then had to go to the trouble of finding and training someone else because I offed myself. That’s the cold, hard truth. I paste a smile on my face because I learnt it makes others uncomfortable if I don’t. And then they start asking questions that they don’t want serious answers to.

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough for tonight.

#diary #journal

[capstellium]

just saw some idiot on twitter say that people in IT and those working from home rn are “the most abused people” during covid. like who’s gonna tell him that if you’re working from home right now you are....... dealing with 1/1000th of the bullshit that essential workers face on a day to day basis. maybe. lmao

#saying this as someone who held two jobs over the past several months #one was work from home and one was essential #guess which one made me cry more? #it wasn’t the one where i could sit and pet my cat all day and wear pajamas :)

[tripthelight-fanfic]

Four Knocks (Sam Kiszka Imagine)

Content Warning: mentions of drugging

Taglist: @flowervanfleet​ @weightofdreams-gvf​ @sierraahhhh​ @theweightofstardust​ @samkiszkabreakmyback​ @prettyintopeerpressure​ @greta-flanveet​ @fosterkidwiththebrokenjaw​ @the-chaotic-cow​ @tlexx​ @screechesincoherently​ @garagebandvanfleet​ @gretavanhoney​ @stardustdanny​ @joshysgf​ @cowboysamkiszka​ @lightmyluv​ @fleetsonfire​ @maykiszka​ @moonlightanthem​ and potentially you, just lmk!

yo when did half my taglist deactivate omg

Anonymous Request: okay i LOVE your angsty fics i wont lie ….. so if ur taking reqs… i was thinking something along the lines of like sam / character are childhood bffs with secret crushes on each other (everyone knows but them sorta situation) and maybe she goes out with someone and it upsets sam but the date goes horrible (maybe its a bad situation idc) and sam has to come to the rescue. idk i trust you … i’d love to read whatever you cook up!

(A/N): Lol guess who’s back! Sorry for taking an unannounced two month writing break, I haven’t been feeling super inspired lately to be quite honest. And I’m maybe about to start a new job so I can’t really say with upmost confidence that I’m “back” all the way, but I woke up to this request in my ask box this morning and coincidentally it aligns with a half-developed idea I’ve been playing around with for the last few weeks. To be fair, several people have posted fics with plots somewhat similar to this one (in which Y/N gets drugged at a bar), but I wanted to tweak the situation so that none of the boys are actually at said bar with her, but instead need to come to her rescue. This just so happens to align perfectly with this prompt so here I am, cranking it out for you. Just like old times (six months ago).

I hope you enjoy!!

also extra thank you to @vetaglanfeet​ and @joshysgf​ for looking this over for me before I posted :) love u both dearly

*********************************

Four Knocks

It was becoming abundantly clear that Sam was not going to be helpful this afternoon.

You had invited your childhood best friend Sam over to help you prepare for a date with Matthew, the guy you’d been casually running into and flirting with for months.

You were over by your closet rifling through clothes while Sam laid flopped over on your bed, paying more attention to an old Guinness World Records book he found on your bookshelf.

“Sam, please, can you at least pretend to care? Which looks better!” You held up two dresses, one pink and floral and the other a more subdued olive green color.

Sam’s eyes flitted up from the book to briefly scan the dresses, before moving up to glare at your own eyes. “Why are you so freaked out about this anyway? You know how to dress yourself, you don’t need my opinion.” He mumbled.

You groaned and threw a hanger at him. “Because I want to look nice, Samuel! I want him to think I’m pretty and maybe consider taking me on more dates! Lord knows nobody else is asking me.”

Sam rolled his eyes and propped himself up on his elbow, his cropped hair falling into his face as he tilted his head at you. You couldn’t help but take a moment to take in his current state. He was wearing a big white crewneck sweatshirt- one you might have suspected he stole from Josh if it hadn’t been so roomy on him. The stark white only served to deepen his dark features as his brown eyes trailed over the two dresses you were holding up.

You’d be lying to yourself if you tried to say you’d never had any feelings for Sam that extended past friendship. Frankly, you’d been pining after him for almost as long as you could remember. Before you even knew what it meant. But Sam never wavered. He was always just… Sam. Never going further than his normal, tirelessly supportive and happy-go-lucky self that he’d always been around you. At some point, you decided to try and accept that he would never feel the same and look outward to new romantic opportunities.

That’s where you stumbled upon Matthew. He was a guy who you’d run into at your favorite bar every so often. He always offered to buy you drinks and when you’d let him, he’d butter you up and ask when you were gonna let him take you out. It was flattering, and it made your heart leap to feel desired. He was pretty good looking too, who were you to turn down such an opportunity?So, last weekend you decided to finally take him up on his offer.

“You’re really getting your panties all in a twist for some guy from a bar who you barely know?”

You were brought back to reality by Sam’s snarky comment, and you felt your brows knitting together at his tone. “Yeah, Sam. I am. Are you alright with that?” You shot back sarcastically, dropping your arms that were holding up the dresses.

Sam watched as you turned back toward the mirror, taking turns holding up each dress against your body. He heaved a sigh and got up, “Go with the green one. It brings out your eyes. I’m gonna head out but good luck tonight.”

His voice was defeated but you were too preoccupied with his first sentence and pre-date jitters to notice. “Thank you! I’ll let you know how it goes!”

From down the hall, Sam opened the door and mumbled to himself, “Please fucking don’t,” mimicking your tone to himself as he left your apartment. 

.

You stumbled your way into the restaurant bathroom, slamming the door shut and fumbling with the lock as your body slid onto the floor. Your head was spinning and the room almost seemed like it was too. You rested your back against the door as you heaved a deep breath, thankful that this wasn’t a multiple-person bathroom with stalls. You took a moment to remember what you came in there for, before looking down at your phone in your hand.

You blinked and suddenly you were calling Sam.

“Y/N?” Sam answered, confusion evident in his tone. “Shouldn’t you be on your date?”

You opened your mouth to speak and were surprised by how much effort it took to string together a sentence. “I aaaam on a date! You know that! Listen, I’m in a bit of a… a bit of a situation here and I thought to myself. Self, this situation calls for Sam. So I called you!”

There was a brief pause before Sam spoke again, a bit more warily this time. “Y/N, you sound fucking wasted. What, have you two been slamming shots?”

You shook your head, forgetting that Sam couldn’t see you. “No but that’s the situation! I just had a glass of red wine! I think he,” You took a break to hiccup, “I think he might’ve put somethin in my drink.”

Immediately you heard shuffling on Sam’s end. “Where are you?” He asked.

You shrugged to yourself, looking around at the bathroom in front of you. “Well right now I’m in the bathroom, because I don’t think he would’ve liked me calling up another dude during our date. That’s, like, rude, ya know?”

You could just barely hear the sound of Sam getting into his car and starting it. “You know what, Y/N, I think that was a good choice but not for the reason you just gave. I think this guy deserves a little rudeness. Do you remember what restaurant he took you to?”

You sat for a second, humming to yourself in thought. “I don’t remember the name. It’s the Italian place a few blocks from the bar I always met him at. He said he lives near here, comes all the time.”

Sam scoffed, “Figures. Look, you stay in that bathroom. I’m on my way over, okay? I’m gonna get there and knock four times so you know it’s me. Don’t open the door for anyone else, you got that?”

You smiled to yourself at the thought of seeing Sam, awareness quickly slipping through your fingers. “Four knocks! Can’t wait to see you! You know, I wish you had asked me on this date instead of him. You wouldn’t have done this to me.”

There was silence for a moment, and you briefly thought Sam had hung up, until you heard a deep sigh from the other line. “No, Y/N, I sure as hell wouldn’t have. Just please try to stay awake until I get there, okay?”

You held your hand up to your head in salute, again forgetting he cannot see you. “Aye aye, captain!”

Sam let out a humorless chuckle before actually hanging up. You let your phone fall to your side and leaned your head back against the door, fighting the drugs in your system that willed your eyes to close.

They did flutter shut for a moment before being startled back open by two loud knocks on the door.

“Y/N? You alright in there? It’s been a little while.” You sat back up a bit straighter at the sound of Matthew’s voice behind the door, reminding you that you weren’t safe yet.

“I’m okay, no worries! Just give me a few minutes.” You called out, trying your best to sound strong and put-together as your consciousness faded by the second.

You sat there, waiting anxiously for Sam for what felt like an hour but was more likely 10 minutes. Your doped-up brain filtered out the restaurant noise behind the door, even when it picked up a bit after a few minutes.

Finally, you were greeted by four clear knocks on your door.

Using more effort than you were expecting, you raised your hand to open the door. Your eyes met Sam’s face for a fleeting moment before they rolled back into your head, sleep finally taking over.

.

The next morning, you woke up tucked into your bed with your dress still on. You turned your head to look at your bedside clock and your head pounded in response. Suddenly, vague details of the night prior started flooding back, doing nothing to ease the dull ache in your head. You were relieved to see that you had made it home and woken up with your clothes intact, but there were large gaps of time you couldn’t remember from your night out.

And that scared the shit out of you.

You managed to muster up enough strength to reach over and check your phone, shocking yourself to see that it’s after noon.

You checked for outward calls and texts from the night before, even the Uber app to try and piece together how you made it home. All you could find was the single outward call to Sam. Maybe he would have answers.

You redialed him and placed the phone up to your ear, only to jump when you heard it ring from your living room. Sam’s here?

There was some shuffling behind your door as you heard the call get declined in your ear, immediately followed by the gentle knocking and opening of your bedroom door.

Four gentle knocks.

You watched as Sam’s timid frame entered your room and sat on the edge of your bed. His eyes were filled with worry and it made you sick to your stomach.

“Sam, what happened last night?”

He sighed and looked down at his hands. “How much do you remember?”

You shook your head, eyes scanning past him to try and piece together your evening. “Well, I remember when I got there. He seemed nice enough, a little forward like usual but nothing too crazy. We were just talking and…” Your brows knit as your memory started to get fuzzy. “I don’t understand, why don’t I remember anything else?”

You turned and looked back at Sam and were taken aback by the heartbroken look on his face. He opened his mouth to speak, but paused and first took hold of your hand closest to him, establishing a firm grip before speaking.

“He, um… He laced your drink with date rape drugs. I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t look at you but he was forced to see in his peripheral the way your face fell in realization.

“So that’s why… Oh my God…” Your free hand flew up to cover your mouth as tears pricked at your eyes. You instinctually moved to pull your legs closer to yourself and Sam loosened his grip on your hand to let you move that as well. But you tightened your grip in response, in desperate need of his gentle grounding in this situation.

“But I… How did you… It doesn’t make any sense, Sam. It wasn’t even a bad date!” You were close to hysterics trying to piece together the logic of the situation, and Sam wasn’t willing to let you sit there and drive yourself crazy.

He scooted a bit closer to brush the hair out of your face with the hand that wasn’t holding yours. “You locked yourself in the bathroom and called me before you lost consciousness. I was able to find the restaurant and get that piece of shit taken out in a cop car. God, he was waiting for you right outside the bathroom door, too. Luckily, you stayed awake long enough to unlock the door for me. But, fuck it was hard just watching you go limp after that.”

Sam inched closer and you leaned forward to rest your forehead against his shoulder, tears now silently streaming down your face and threatening Sam’s eyes as well.

“I carried you out and drove you home. And I just, I couldn’t leave you here. Not like this. I couldn’t let you wake up alone and confused or godforbid you woke up and remembered, I-“

You lifted your head up to meet Sam’s gaze when you noticed his watery voice start rambling. You reached a hand up to cup his cheek and he leaned into the touch. “Thank you, Sam. I don’t… think I could ever thank you enough. I don’t even know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t picked up that phone.” Your words sank in for yourself as you spoke them, and you pulled your hand away from Sam’s to wrap your arms around him and pull him tightly against you.

He gently pulled you into his lap and held you close, sniffling to himself. “You don’t need to thank me for anything. I would do it all again in a heartbeat, I would. I just really hate that you were put in that situation to begin with.” He rested his chin on top of your head that was pressed against his chest.

You had so many thoughts swimming through your head. Possibilities. Newfound fears. About a million questions, but one stood out from the rest. “Why did he do that?” You mumbled, burying your mouth and nose in the fabric of Sam’s sweatshirt and inhaling the comforting warmth.

Sam heaved a deep, shaky breath. “I… I don’t know. He’s a sick, disgusting man who thinks he can take whatever he wants from this world.” His hands started moving against you, one making warm sweeping strokes up and down your back while the other lightly pet your hair. “He should have never even had the opportunity to get near you, I don’t know what I would’ve done if he succeeded. I wanted to kill him when I saw him standing outside that bathroom.”

“Why didn’t you?” Your question was muffled by the fabric you were nuzzled into, but his chest shook with a quick laugh.

“I’d still like to, but I couldn’t. You needed me.” He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your temple, which made your heart flutter. He’s never done that before.

Sam seemed to notice at the same time, as he froze in place for a moment before quickly darting his head back to where it rested before on top of yours.

You both sat still for a few moments, trying to calm down and sit with what was just spoken. Eventually, Sam murmured, “How do you feel?”

You almost scoffed until you realized he was just checking in on you. “I feel… disgusting. I feel used and taken advantage of and I hate it.” Your arms pulled tighter against Sam to punctuate your last statement.

You could feel Sam shake his head as you spoke, and when you finished he retracted his arms to pull your face out from his chest so you could look at him. “Y/N, you have to understand that none of this happened by any fault of yours. You are no worse a person because of it and you are still every bit as beautiful as you were when I left here yesterday. I know you don’t feel that way right now but I just need you to trust me.”

Your eyes searched his for any semblance of lying and you found none. “You think I’m beautiful, Sam?” You asked, hope dripping from your tone of voice.

Sam’s eyes widened for a split second as he realized what he had just said, but as he saw the affection in your eyes he felt at ease doubling down. “I think you’re very beautiful. The most beautiful. That should’ve been me taking you out on that date.”

Your heart was racing at his words, completely unaware that you had voiced essentially the same sentiments to him the night before during the phone call. “You still can.” You whispered out, a blush spreading across your face.

Sam smiled down at you and placed a long kiss onto your forehead. “You know what? I just might. You deserve a re-do. Except this time, you’ll be treated the way you deserve.”

You beamed up at him and nuzzled your head back into his chest, missing the warmth and safety. Sam’s arms wrapped back around you and the two of you sat together contentedly. Sam’s hands were about to continue rubbing soothing strokes across your back when he stopped them, instead opting to point two of his fingers and tap them lightly against your back.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four times.

You smiled against him in memory, surprising even yourself with your ability to see tenderness in such a painful memory.

And you reached one of your hands up his back to give four clear taps back.

#this is perfect I need to level out my masterlist anyway I was lacking some sam #well specifically for consistency’s sake I was lacking a sam SMUT but we don’t have to talk about that #I do really enjoy requests thank you for this anon #sam Kiszka #sam kiszka imagine #sam kiszka fic #sam kiszka fanfiction #sam kiszka fanfic #gvf imagine #gvf fanfic #gvf fanfiction #sam kiszka x y/n #sam kiszka x reader

[mysticalrambling]

Ending It All Part 1 (C.E)

Part 2

Chris Evans Fan fiction (Fan fiction Masterlist)

Summary: Chris wants to end your marriage and you decide to go along with it. You have to be civil for the sake of the kids but you are hurt. This process is too much for the both of you and eventually, it all ends.

Warnings: Angst all the way. 

._._._._._.

You had seen it coming from a mile. People say that a woman’s sixth sense is her greatest power. You always took pride in it but in this case, it was a curse. Chris and you have known each other for the past seven years and from those years, you were married for five. He was the love of your life. You thought it was forever but apparently you were wrong. You were wrong about so many things.

From the past six months, Chris has been home for a couple of days at most and then he was traveling. Traveling for work, for friends and whatnot. And for the days that he was here, he didn’t look at you like you were his wife, his soulmate. He looked at you like you were a stranger. Spending time with the kids was all he ever did and then came up with measly explanations to go off to bed early. There was no space left for you in his life. You thought that it was just a rough patch but that was not the case.

“(Y/N), we need to talk.” The determined look in his icy blue eyes said it all.

Taking a deep breath, you shakily replied, “Let me just put the kids to sleep.” Your energetic kids had tired out you for the whole day because you were off from work today. Chris had just come back from shooting and he didn’t give you a kiss like he usually did. In fact, he hadn’t kissed you like he meant it for several years now.

“I will be in the kitchen. You want wine?” He was walking away before you could even reply.

“Yeah, sure.” You mumbled out and you didn’t even know that he listened.

“Mommy, we are going to spend the whole day with you and daddy tomorrow?”  Mia and Jace have started to pick up on the fact that there was something going on between their parents. You wanted to keep all of this away from your four and two year old but it seems that you might have failed. You were failing at a lot of things right now.

“Yes, we will. Now, go to sleep.” It took you about half an hour to be put them to sleep and during that time, you were a wreck. There were a thousand possibilities running through your mind.

Coming back downstairs, Chris handed you the glass of wine, your favorite as always. He knew every little detail about you. “(Y/N), I don’t know how to say this but-”

“Before you finish that sentence, I just need to tell you that I promised the kids a day out tomorrow. Don’t ruin it.”

“I- I can’t say that.” Fiddling with his almost empty glass, he couldn’t bring it in himself to look at you. He was going to ruin this promise as well just like he was going to ruin everything.

“Just, go on.” You refilled the wine glass as you knew you needed the alcoholic haze to get through this conversation.

“I can’t do this anymore. This is just not what I want in my life anymore.” Your breath hitched and your heart broke into tiny little pieces.

Exact words were what you needed to hear right now. No vague statements. “What do you mean? What can’t you do?”

“This. This relationship. I think I am done. I am truly sorry, (Y/N).”

“Is- Is there someone else?” It was as if a ball was lodged in your throat and you couldn’t bring yourself to talk coherently. Fluently.

Chris looked at you, horrified. How could you even say that? He would never in a million years even think about cheating on you. Dignity was an important trait for Chris and if he ever cheated, he wouldn’t be able to look at himself. It hurt him that you would even consider this as a reason but he couldn’t blame you.

“No! This is not the reason. Not at all.” A defensive attitude was immediately taken up by your husband.

“Then is it me? Am I not enough for you?” Hot tears rolled down your cheeks but you didn’t have the energy to wipe them out.

“It is not you, darling. I just don’t think this is what I want with my life anymore. I want to solely focus on my career.”

“You are choosing your career over your family.” As the realization started to hit you, you couldn’t control the anger that took over you. “Over your family, Chris?”

“(Y/N) I am just done. I want an out and can we please try to be civil about this?” He pleaded.

“You want me to be civil about this? Fine.” You took a calming breath and closed your eyes for a second. “Just explain it to me. Maybe we can work something out.”

“I can’t- I don’t know how to explain it. Seven months ago I just woke up and I didn’t want to do this anymore. I want to start over.” A shocking chill passed through your body and you realized that it was hurt. You were betrayed.

“So you don’t want to do anything with me or the kids as well?”

“No. I want to be a part of their lives and-”

You looked him in the eyes and spoke in a broken voice, “It’s just me that you want out of your life.”

“Darling, no-” Chris tried to reach out for your hand but you placed them on your hands. He had lost the right to touch you from the moment he said that he didn’t want you. You were just a problem for him that needed to be solved.

There were years when he needed you every step of the way. Chris met you at a party that Scarlett threw. You were her best friend so you were invited to her New Year’s party. The moment he saw you, he was head over heels. He followed you around for two months to get you to go on a date with him. You used to tease him afterwards that he was a love sick puppy. But he was your love sick puppy.

That was not the case now and you didn’t know what you will do if he wasn’t in your life anymore. Your world revolved around your family but now it was all falling apart. You were falling apart.

“We can file for divorce tomorrow. Do you want to stay here tonight?” Wiping your tears, you got up from the stool and put the glasses in the sink.

“Uhh okay, okay. I can stay with Scott tonight.”

This was not what he expected. He expected you to cry, fight, scream. He thought there would be more discussion on this topic. Seven years were going to waste and you were treating this as a simple business transaction. Truth be told, you didn’t want him to see you fall apart. Chris had lost that right. If he didn’t want a life with you, then you were not going to beg him to stay. You were going to fulfill his wish and set him free.

“We have to take the kids out tomorrow. I was thinking the park.”

“What?” He was too distracted by everything to even realize what you were talking about.

“We will talk to them about the divorce tomorrow.”

“Isn’t this going a little too fast?”

“We should get this all over with as soon as possible. Goodbye, Chris.” Silently pecking him on his cheek, you went to your shared bedroom.

The moment your head touched the pillow, you were surrounded by his scent. The dam burst and you couldn’t stop the tears from running down your face and getting soaked up by the cushions. What were you going to do with your life now? You had to come up with a plan to manage the kids together with Chris. You had to think about getting a job that would accommodate your kids in to it now that you were going to be a single parent. You didn’t get a wink of sleep last night and you cried a lot.

On the other hand, Chris was not doing any better. Scott gave him the spare guest room to sleep in. He didn’t know what was going on between his brother and you but he knew it was serious. Chris couldn’t sleep last night either because he was not used to. This was the first time in seven years that you both were in the same city and you were not sleeping together. You wouldn’t be sleeping with him from now on. He has to get used to that idea. The idea of you not being there every step of the way because this was his own doing. He was dreading tomorrow as he was the one who was destroying his family.

“Hi. I was just here to pick you all up.” Guilt washed over him when he noticed your red puffy eyes and eye bags.

“You didn’t have to. We could have come there by ourselves.”

“We always go to the park together. It is our thing.”

“We can’t do all of these things now. Everything is going to change.”

“Right.” You moved towards the kitchen and he followed you like a lost puppy.

“Daddy!” Both kids ran up to him and clinged to his legs like two little monkeys.

“Hey babies.” He held on to them a little bit longer because he knew he was the one who was ruining their little lives.

“Where were you? Missed your pancakes. Mama doesn’t make good.” Mia hadn’t learned to make full sentences yet but Chris understood her perfectly.

“I was busy, baby. I- I-”

“Go get your shoes on. We are going to be late.” You saved him from the conversation because he looked like a deer caught in headlight. Chris couldn’t answer his daughter as this was how it was going to be. He wouldn’t be there for all of this. The important phases. Jace’s first soccer win, his first award, or Mia’s first school day, her first break up, her prom. He was going to miss most of them because you would be there with them while he will get them for weekends mostly.

“Let’s go.” Buckling his kids in, he sat in the driver’s seat. When he pulled out of the garage, his hand instinctively went for yours. It was out of pure instinct. You retracted your hand immediately and Chris just drew in a shaky breath, He was not allowed to touch you now.

“I am taking them to the swings. Do you want to come with?”

“No, I am just going to my usual spot to read my book.” There was a maple tree that had been your spot for the past five years. It was where you rested and caught up with your reading.

“Okay.”

The next hour was spent with Chris going on to every swing with his kids. He didn’t want to miss anything. Plus, he didn’t know how he could sit with you under the tree that held so many memories. You told him that you will marry him under this tree and that you were pregnant with Jace. It was all too much. You couldn’t focus on your reading when this might be the last time you get to see him with your kids. The last time you were together as husband and wife. This might be the last time because Chris wanted you out of his life.

“Hey, kids. We have to talk to you.” You finally gathered up some courage when they all came to sit beside you. Chris couldn’t bring himself to start up this conversation so he was glad that you did.

“Yeah, Mommy?”

“So you know how your friend Oliver’s parents don’t live together but they still love him very much.”

“Yeah.” Jace’s whole concentration was on his ice cream but he still nodded his head to indicate that he was listening. Mia was too young to comprehend it all so you mainly focused on your son.

“Well, Daddy and I are going to be doing the same thing. We love you both very much and we will always there be with you.”

“But Ollie’s daddy doesn’t live with him.” His blue eyes focused on the two of you when he made the statement.

“Yeah, buddy. I will be staying at an apartment really near by. You both can come whenever you want to.”

“You won’t be there to read us night stories or make our favorite brekky?” His question threw Chris off guard and he froze in his place.

“He will be there to do everything for you guys. Mia and you can go to daddy’s place and he can do all this.” You jumped in when you noticed that Chris didn’t know how to respond to all this. “Right, Chris?”

“Yes, that’s right. Nothing is going to change, buddy.” Wiping away his tears, your husband placed him on his lap with Mia.

“Promise?” Mia spoke up this time because she understood that her daddy wouldn’t live with her like he always did.

“Promise. Let’s go back to the house. You both look tired.”

You placed Mia on her bed while Chris did the same for Jace. They both were out the moment they were buckled in their car seats. Coming downstairs, you prepared coffee for Chris and yourself. He always liked his coffee black so that’s what you made for him. The cup was placed in front of him and he sighed because no one made coffee like you.

“Our lawyer said that he will have the papers delivered to us by tomorrow.”

“Okay, I saw this new apartment building when I was coming here this morning. I might rent it out. The penthouse has three rooms. One for the kids and one is the guest bedroom. You can stay there when you bring the kids over.” He looked at you with a defensive position.

“I won’t be staying at your apartment so please don’t take me into consideration.” You didn’t understand why he thought you would ever stay over at his place. You would never subject yourself to that kind of pain.

“But there can be special circumstances and my home will always be open for you, (Y/N). We can still be friends.” He was hoping against all hope that you would agree. He still wanted you in his life.

“I don’t think I can do that. Be friends. There is too much history. Let’s just keep it to the kids right now.” You picked on your nails because you didn’t want to cry like a little girl in front of him. “And I am going to change houses as well so do you want to sell this one?”

“Why do you have to move?” Chris was shocked to hear those words come out of your mouth.

“I can’t live in a house that was meant to be our family house. I just can’t.”

He understood where you were coming from but this house held too many memories. He couldn’t think of another family living here. Some couple living in your master bedroom, some kids running around in your children’s playground, some other family’s picture instead of yours. It was just too much to think about.

“Let’s just keep the house. When the kids grow up, they can have it.”

“Okay. I am tired right now so I am going to bed. I will sign the papers tomorrow and send them over to Scott’s.” You placed the empty mug on the counter and stood in a straight posture. “You want the kids this weekend?”

“Yes, I would like that. Do you want to maybe come with us?” He didn’t know why he was not ready to let you go yet. This was all his doing but he just couldn’t accept it right now.

“Umm no. I think we should settle the kids into this new routine.”

“I guess you are right.”

“Goodbye, Chris. I love you and I will always love you.” You regretted the words that came out of your mouth the instant you said them. You were so stupid but you just couldn’t help yourself. This was probably the last time you ever got to say it.

“I- I love you too, (Y/N). I will always be there for you. Goodbye, darling.” The lump in his throat seemed to grow bigger by the second but he had to say this. Lightly pecking you on the lips, he knew this was the last time he ever got to do this. He left afterwards and you couldn’t help but tear up. The same thing happened with Chris. This was it. Your marriage was over but your love would always be there.

Hope you guys liked it!!

._._._._._.

A/N: I literally cried while writing this fan fiction. This one is particularly close to my heart so please let me know what you think about it. If you want to be added to my tag list, message me. I am also open to requests for this series; requests, blurbs, anything.

P.S: There is a part 2 as well.

Tag list: @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile, @iguessweallcrazyithinktho, @jessyballet , @luckyladycreator2

Like, comment and reblog.

._._._._._.

#rachelleblodgettwrites #my writing #books & libraries #writer #chris evans #chris evans fic #chris evans fluff #chris evans x reader #chris evans x wife!reader #chris evans x kids #chris evans angst #chris evans blurb #cevans #chris evans au #dad!steve rogers #dad chris evans #steve rogers angst #steve rogers one shot #steve rogers #avengers #mcu #marvel #actor #andy barber imagine #andy barber angst #my imagination

[natsfirecat]

Stay

summary: r gets hurt saving nat (who she’s in love with) and natasha wants nothing more than to get her back

based on these two requests:

1:  If you still need Hurt and Comfort prompts, would you accept a scenario where Reader fell in a coma after a mission gone wrong, and the whole time she’s unconscious, Natasha doesn’t want to leave her side. She doesn’t sleep, barely eats, and constantly talking to reader thinking she can hear. Reader then wakes up after 3 months, and Natasha confesses her feelings for Reader.❤️‍🩹🥺

2: How bout Natasha x fem!Reader where Reader takes a bullet after saving her crush, Natasha, on a mission. Reader survives and brushes it off as “it’s my job” but Natasha doesn’t take the whole situation well, especially since she has feelings for reader too!I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER! 😘😫❤️*have some tea 🍵 *

word count: 2.8k

genre: fluff and angst but fluff ending

warnings: swearing, gunshot, comatose, blood, medical knowledge that only comes from grey’s anatomy, catradora quote because i have no self control, lmk if i need to add any more!

A/N i combined these requests since they were kinda similar, i hope you don’t mind kind anons!

“She’s tachycardic! Push one of epi, STAT!”

“No, no,”

“Hang on, Y/N, I’m going to do everything in my power to help you. Just keep holding on, okay?”

“You’re gonna be okay, alright? You’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna pull through this,”

“Why would you do that? How could you be so stupid? Why did you do that?” She yelled.

“Just doing… my job…” You managed to get out.

Eventually the voices around you began to fade out as you succumbed to unconsciousness.

As you felt yourself slipping away, the only thing on your mind was the woman you loved; Natasha Romanoff.

~12 hours earlier~

“Are you ready to go home soon?” You asked.

“Kinda,” she replied honestly. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the team and all, but it is nice to get away sometimes,”

You shrugged,

“Yeah, I guess,”

She smiled, then walked closer to you, putting an arm around your shoulder.

“It is nice getting away with you, though,”

You grinned, feeling your cheeks heat up. 

“I like getting away with you too, Nat,”

She smirked, squeezing your shoulder,

“Then it’s a good thing we still have a day left,”

You could feel your heart-rate increasing as your cheeks got even redder. 

Her smirk turned into a soft smile before she pulled away and went to the bathroom to change.

You sighed, thinking about your hopeless crush on her. You had been an Avenger for three years, friends with Natasha for two, and in love with her for one. 

You never imagined that you would fall for the Black Widow, but now you couldn’t imagine your life without her.

-

“So… there’s a mission Fury assigned me to,” she said, leaning back against the couch. “It’s in France, and he said it could last anywhere from a year or two,”

“What?” You sat straight up. “No! That’s too long!”

“I know. It’s a no-contact mission too,”

“That’s such bullshit. You can’t accept that mission, Natty,”

“He assigned me, Y/N, there’s nothing I can do unless someone else volunteers to take the mission instead,”

You stared at her, suddenly feeling very defeated. 

“No…” you whispered as your eyes began to pool with tears. 

You looked at Natasha, who held her tongue at the roof of her mouth so she wouldn’t cry. You leaned in and wrapped your arms around her tightly, letting out quiet sobs into her neck.

As she held you in her arms, the only thing running through her mind was that she had no idea how the hell she would survive being away from you for that long.

-

After two days of crying, and resisting the urge to scream at Fury, you heard a knock on your door.

“Come in!” You called. The door opened to reveal none other than your favorite redhead, who had the biggest smile on her face.

“Hey,” she said, sitting on your bed.

“Hi,” 

“Guess what?”

You shrugged, not really in the mood for guessing games. You just wanted to cherish your last few moments with her before she left.

“So I got a call from Fury this morning…” she told you, her smile growing bigger. “And he said that someone else took the mission,”

You couldn’t believe it. Your best friend didn’t have to leave.

You opened your mouth to say something, but you couldn’t speak. So instead, you threw yourself into her arms.

As they had done several times in the past two days, your eyes began to fill with tears. But this time however, they were tears of joy.

She was holding onto you just as tight as you were holding onto her. 

When you finally backed away, she smiled, then reached her thumb up to your face to wipe away your tears.

“Hey,” she said softly. “You don’t need to cry, I’m staying,”

“They’re happy tears, Natty,”

She brought her other hand to your face to wipe away tears on the other cheek, then just held your face in her hands for a few moments.

Oh fuck you thought to yourself. Those tears weren’t platonic.

-

After that night, you had tried to deny your feelings for her for a bit. After all, you had gotten romantic and platonic attraction mixed up in the past, who’s to say that this wasn’t one of those times?

But as time went on, the butterflies would happen even more often around her. Your heartbeat began to race if her hand brushed up against yours. Your face would flush when your arms wrapped around her in a hug. You wanted nothing more than to be with her, to feel her lips against yours, and to be able to tell her you loved her and have her say it back.

The only person who knew about your crush on Natasha was Wanda. She had asked if anyone caught your eye, and you refused to tell her anything. However, she decided to read your mind to find out. 

You were a little frustrated that she did that, but you weren’t too mad, knowing you would’ve done the same thing to your best friend.

So since then, Wanda would always try to convince you to tell her, and you would always say no. 

As much as it hurt to have these feelings and not tell her, you knew it would be nothing compared to telling her and having the feelings not reciprocated and losing your friendship. You’d rather stay just her friend forever than to lose her.

So here you were now, in love with one of your best friends.

“Ready to go?” She asked as she finished putting her suit on.

“Yep!”

She smiled, then gestured for you to follow her. Today was the last day of your mission, and you just needed to erase all files from some druglord’s computer.

For the past week, the two of you had done several stakeouts, gotten information, and identified people. The last step was destroying their information.

So, Natasha was currently driving the two of you to the location. She had the radio playing, and the two of you were softly singing the lyrics to the songs.

You turned to face her, feeling yourself smile at the sight of her being so carefree around you. 

Not that you knew this, but you were the only person she would ever allow to see her like this.

She kept her eyes on the road, but saw you looking at her through her peripheral vision. You were simply mouthing the lyrics now, not really paying attention to them. Instead, your attention was purely on Natasha.

She kept singing the words though, but she was also smiling at the sight of you. 

As she began to turn her head to fully face you, your cheeks grew red.

“Eyes on the road, Nat!” You told her, laughing.

“Okay, mom,” She retorted, earning a playful eye roll from you. 

“Oh don’t be like that,” she said, beginning to as well. “C’mon, we’re here anyway,”

You nodded, opening the door as soon as she stopped the car. 

Once she locked the car, the two of you made your way into the building. 

She had her gun ready, holding it out at every corner you turned. 

“We’ve been here like four times already, Nat,” you told her, scoffing. “We’re fine”

She grumbled in response, but kept her gun out.

You shook your head, letting out a sigh, then continued on.

Once you made your way to the necessary room, each of you sat down in front of a computer. 

“Delete, erase, goodbye,” you muttered as you typed.

Natasha didn’t say anything as she typed away, just wanting to get out of this building as soon as possible.

You glanced over at her every once in a while.

You smiled, watching her type with the clacking on the keyboard. The tip of her tongue was poking out the corner of her mouth. Her eyes began to squint as she focused on the screen. 

Unfortunately, while you were staring, you failed to notice someone else come in the room behind you.

“Avengers,” A voice from behind you said.

You whipped around, your eyes widening to see someone wearing a combat suit holding a gun out.

Natasha stood up, raising her gun immediately. 

Before you could even process what was happening, you heard the sound of a gunshot. 

Without even thinking about it, you threw yourself at Natasha, knocking her to the ground. 

Turns out, she was the one who shot first, considering that the other guy was currently laying in a pool of his own blood that was spilling out fast.

But as you jumped, he aimed his gun at Natasha, pulling the trigger.

You let out a groan of pain, feeling a pain growing in your shoulder. 

“Y/N no! What did you do?”

She cried your name a few more times, but you couldn’t respond. You only let out a few shaky breaths and sobs as the pain in your shoulder began to grow.

She pulled her phone out, calling for help as fast as she could.

Everything hurt, but you wouldn’t have changed a thing you did. All that mattered to you, was that the woman you loved was safe.

All that mattered was that Natasha Romanoff was safe.

~two days later~

“How’s she doing?”

“Same as before.”

Natasha sighed as she reached onto your bed, placing her hand over yours.

As soon as you were brought back, everyone began working on you right away. Dr. Cho saved your life, and managed to get the bullet out.

However, because of how long it had taken to get you into surgery, you had a lot of internal bleeding. 

So, here you were now, in a coma. No one knew when, or even if, you would ever wake up.

Natasha stayed by your side the entire time. 

“Nat, you can’t stay in here forever,” Wanda said, gently placing her hand on her shoulder.

“It was my fault, Wanda,” she replied, her voice hoarse from crying. “It should’ve been me,”

“Don’t say that. You’re both alive. She wouldn’t want you to say that, or to sulk in here all day,”

Natasha said something, but kept her gaze on your unconscious body as her red eyes began to fill with tears once again.

“I can’t lose her.”

-

After the first week, Natasha finally left your room at night. She would usually come in around 7:00 AM, and stay until midnight. 

Clint would come by, and bring her food. He was genuinely worried that she wouldn’t eat if he didn’t.

Wanda came by often too. 

“Do you think she can hear us?” Natasha asked her.

“I can try and find out, if you’d like,” Wanda offered.

Natasha nodded, removing her hand from you.

Wanda stood up, then placed one hand on your forehead, closing her eyes.

After a few moments of silence, she gave Natasha a soft smile.

“She’s dreaming,”

“Is she aware of things going on outside?”

“Not right now. I don’t think she’s constantly dreaming while unconscious. Hearing our voices right now, she’s either drowning them out or they’ll be in her dream. She might become more aware later,”

Natasha let out a shaky breath, then connected her hand to yours again.

“Hi, Y/N,” she breathed out. “We did it. We destroyed the files, and the building ended up being destroyed after we left. We did the mission, you can wake up now. You can come back now,”

She could feel herself about to cry, so she turned to Wanda.

“What’s she dreaming about?”

Wanda closed her eyes again, looking into your mind.

“She’s at this house, and there’s comforting energy coming from it. I think it might be her childhood home.” Wanda explained. “Something’s happening in slow motion. There’s like, cracks of electricity and… oh my god there’s a lightning strike right in front of her,”

“She’s dreaming about lightning?”

“I can hear her inner voice. Part of her is afraid, but the bigger part of her is thinking the lightning strike will give her superpowers… and she’s floating in the air right now,”

Natasha laughed for the first time since getting back. Of course superpowers would be on your mind while getting struck by lightning.

“Thank you, Wanda,” she told her, gently squeezing your hand.

“Of course,” she replied. “You should get some rest. I know Y/N would want you to,”

Natasha sighed, then nodded. She was feeling better for the first time since you took the bullet for her.

-

“Hey,” she said, getting a laptop out and setting it on the side of your bed. “It’s been three weeks now, and uh, I thought it might be a good idea to bring this down and watch your favorite movie. Y’know, maybe hearing it will help you,”

A lump began to form in her throat as she stared at you. However, she said nothing else as she pulled up your favorite movie, then placing it close enough so you could hear, and see it if you were to open your eyes. 

Once she pressed play, she sat on the edge of your bed. She wasn’t looking at the laptop screen, she was looking down at you. 

She brushed a strand of hair out of your face, and ran her thumb across your cheekbone. 

Natasha didn’t even realize she was crying until she had to wipe her own tears off your forehead. 

“Sorry,” she muttered, pulling away so she wouldn’t cry on you anymore. “I just… really miss you, Y/N.”

She opened her mouth to say something else, but stopped when she noticed your eyebrow twitch. 

It felt like everything in her body stopped working for a moment as she replayed it in her mind; you moved.

Before she knew it, she was sprinting out of your room at full speed to get Dr. Cho.

“She moved! I think she’s waking up! Her eyebrow moved!” She yelled as she barged into her office.

Dr. Cho tilted her head to the side, but followed her back to your room.

She walked over to you, then examined the monitors. She looked at you, then back at your vitals. 

“Miss Romanoff, I’m so sorry, but there’s nothing in her brain activity that indicates her moving or waking up. Sometimes, when we want to see something so bad, our mind tricks us into thinking we saw it. It’s a cruel thing, but it’s not uncommon for situations like this,”

Natasha’s heart dropped as the doctor left the room to give her space. She thought she had you back.

-

She wasn’t going to give up on you. She pulled the laptop away, then sat next to you again.

She then layed down, and wrapped her arms around you, sobbing into your neck.

“Wake up, please,” she begged between sobs. “Come back to me.”

Natasha pulled back, placing one hand on your cheek. She leaned down, pulling you close again.

“Don’t you get it?” She said at almost a whisper. “I love you. I always have. So please, just this once. Stay.” She pulled back again, then placed a gentle kiss to your cheek. “Stay.”

It was like everything in her froze again. 

Your eyebrows were definitely twitching now. A groan escaped your mouth, as you blinked your eyes open.

“Natty,” you said, wrapping your arms around her neck. “You love me?”

“Of course I do,”

You smiled at her, despite the pain running through your body.

“Good, ‘cause I’ve been in love with you for like the past year,”

She let out a mix between a laugh and a sob as she leaned close to you once again.

You leaned forward too, and before you knew it, the distance between the two of you was closed as you were kissing.

It was gentle, considering the fact that you were still hurt, but you both savored every second of it. 

“I love you so much,” you told her, keeping your arms around her.

At this point, you both had tears streaming down your cheeks. Neither of you cared as you leaned in for another kiss. 

“Never do that again, okay?” She told you.

“Do what? Kiss you? I plan on doing that a lot more, thank you very much,”

She rolled her eyes, letting out a small laugh.

“Don’t ever put yourself in danger like that for me again, alright? I don’t care if you say it’s your job. Don’t do it again,”

“I did it because I love you, Natty,”

She sighed, wiping away one of your tears. 

“I’m never leaving you though,”

“Good, I don’t want you to leave,”

Of course, the two of you would end up arguing about putting yourselves in danger to save each other, but it would all work out in the end.

You loved her, and she loved you. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

#natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff fluff #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x yn #natasha romanoff x fem reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #black widow #black widow x reader #black widow x fem reader #natalia alianovna romanova

[havin-a-wee]

Doctor's Orders

pairing: gynecologist!harry x reader/doctor!harry x reader

word count: 2.3k+

warnings: smut, fingering

this is so long overdue i apologize but this is a request! i kinda love this piece so i hope you guys do too!

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU ENJOY

You sucked in a harsh breath as you heard your name being called from the front desk, the smiley old lady gesturing for you to follow her. You timidly walked behind her, your feet shuffling on the obnoxiously patterned carpet that lined the hallways.

You aren’t one to fear doctor’s appointments, in fact, you have never been apprehensive about going to one until right now. This appointment was something you’ve been avoiding for a while since you had moved to London, but there came a point where you couldn’t put it off for any longer. Back in the states, you were comfortable with your gynecologist, and you had no issue talking to her about problems you were having regarding your genitalia. But now that you were in a new city, you didn’t have the comfort that came with visiting a long-term doctor and faced new ones for the first time since you were a child. The rest of the doctor’s visits were pretty standard, but your private parts were something you struggled with understanding, Sure, you have seen porn and had sex, but it was never a fulfilling experience. In fact, you have never reached an orgasm. About a year ago you gave up on looking for men to help you and made it a mission to bring yourself to a climax. But alas, none of your efforts seemed to work. At this point, you were convinced that something was wrong with you, hence the gynecologist visit. Male gynecologist, that is.

Over the past month, you have spent a lot of time researching gynecologists in your area. The first one that came up was the one you are at now, but considering his gender you continued your hunt. But it kept leading you back to this one doctor, Dr. Styles, and that was why you are currently sitting in an exam room in his office.

You reassured yourself by looking up his name on your smartphone, scrolling through the 5-star reviews. The number of people who seemed to absolutely love this guy helped settle your nerves, so you read through them as you waited for a knock on the door.

That knock finally arrived a few minutes later, and you picked your head up and looked at the wooden door. “Come in!”

A head popped inside from behind the door as it was pushed open, and the doctor’s eyes found yours while he made his way into the small room. He’s tall, with a mop of chocolate brown curls on his head and bright green eyes accompanied by a friendly smile. He sat down, eyes never leaving yours until he placed his computer down and the screen lit up.

“‘Ello Darlin, m’Dr. Styles, but y’can call me Harry if you’d like.” He stuck out a hand, and your palm swiftly met his, the two of you looking at one another as you shook hands. His hands were enormous, and the rings placed on his fingers were cold to the touch. “Considering you’re a new patient, I took a peek at y’records and such, and I saw that y’ve always had a female gyno.”

You nodded your head slowly, opening your mouth to respond but getting cut off by Dr. Styles. “So I just wanted t’let y’know tha’ theres nothing t’be ashamed off, and I know what I’m doin’ so I promise you’re in expert hands.”

“Yeah, I was nervous, but I couldn’t ignore the amazing reviews people have given you, so I made an appointment.” You appreciated his reassurance a lot, and it really helped in the easing of your jitters. He turned back to his computer after nodding in response to you, clicking on a few keys before diverting his attention back to you.

“So what seems t’be the problem today Y/N?” An initial wave of shock hit you when he said your name, but it quickly dissolved when you remembered that he literally has access to all your medical information, so of course, he knows your name.

“This is a bit of an odd thing to come in for on my first appointment with you, but I think my vagina doesn’t work.” You let out a breathy chuckle at your own words. Dr. Styles seemed unphased by your forwardness, and you assumed he had heard a lot more abrasive things than that. “I’m a 22-year-old woman, but I’ve never had an orgasm. For the past year I’ve been focusing on doing it without a partner, but no matter how much time I spent or how many fancy toys I buy, I just end up feeling unsatisfied and disappointed.” He nodded along as you explained your issue, placing his chin in his hand while his elbow was placed on the desk.

“Have y’had any STD tests recently?”

“Yes, I had one last week, I’m clean and I’ve never had one in the past.”

“Is there any possibility tha’ you’re pregnant?”

“No, I haven’t slept with anyone in over a year.” You knew what questions he would ask, so to avoid wasting time you were giving him all the information he would need.

“When y’are sleeping with someone, do y’feel any sort of pleasure?”

“Yeah, but it’s just never enough, I guess.” His lips curled into an expression of concentration, and he pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek. The room was silent for all of around 30 seconds, but soon enough Dr. Styles spoke up.

“Based on yeh’ history and what y’telling me, it seems that y’just haven’t found the right bloke.” Your eyebrows lifted in surprise at his simple answer. It couldn’t be that simple, could it? “M’guessing y’can’t get y’self off cause’ y’tense and not fully relaxed. And the guys y’ve been with ave’all been doin’ a rubbish job.” He chuckled along with you, and you couldn’t help but agree with him. There was no one you could think of that had actually made you feel good the entire time and had actually focused on your pleasure and theirs. Most of the hookups you took part in were with frat boys who would stick their dick into anything with a hole. “But just in case, lemme’ check y’out just to make sure.”

He stood up from his chair and you swung your legs up on the cot, laying down on it. While you had waited for the doctor, you changed into the gown you were provided with, so there was only a thin piece of fabric between you and the curly-headed man that had taken a seat at the end of the seat.

It was now that you were faced with a dilemma that your anxious brain hadn’t even thought of prior to the appointment.

Dr. Styles was attractive. Like, really, really attractive.

Dr. Styles was attractive. Like, really, really attractive. And probably because of the nature of your discussion (and the fact that your body is severely desperate for sexual release), your core had been heating up since he first stepped into the room. So now, he would lift the skirt of the gown and see a pool of velvety wetness coating the inside of your thighs.

The back of the seat was propped up, allowing you to see him. This was a good thing for him because he could talk to you while he does his job, but it means you will have to look at him after he sees the mess you’ve made.

“May I?” His fingers gripped onto the edges of the gown, and you swallowed hoarsely before nodding your approval. While you know that he probably has witnessed much more embarrassing situations than the one you were in right now, it didn’t make the predicament any better. As you suspected, he kept a straight face when he lifted the flimsy material from your legs. Without taking a second glance, he turned to a bottle on his desk and pumped a dollop of lube onto his glove-clad fingertips. He used his other gloved hand to spread the lubricant, only turning back to you when his two fingers were both well coated in the substance. “Y’alright?” Once again, you nodded at his question. “Tell me with words darlin’, wanna make sure y’comfortable.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. What kind of exam are you doing exactly?” That question popped into your mind right before it rolled off your tongue because you noticed he had never specified exactly what he was looking for.

“M’just gonna use m’finger,” he held his lube-covered fingers, “and feel around, just t’make sure everythins’ fine.”

“Ok, sounds good.”

“M’gonna start now, s’gonna be cold at first.”

You hissed when his fingers met your sopping hole, and you had to resist the urge to kick your legs while he slowly pushed his fingers inside of you. The feeling was strange, but definitely not unwelcome. The contrast from his icy fingers to your warm center was sending a tingling sensation down your spine. You could feel his fingers push around inside of you, caressing your walls. And you know you shouldn’t. But his fingers were hitting all the right nerves, and you couldn’t help but find the experience immensely pleasurable.

Despite your best efforts, a small moan of satisfaction escaped your lips. Immediately, you went stiff, and you could feel the heat rushing to your cheeks. You just moaned while your doctor had his fingers inside you. For a moment you thought he would ignore the sexual noise that you had just made. But he suddenly looked up at you, his eyes previously locked on his fingers.

“Well, if y’moanin’ just from that, y’more sexually deprived than I thought.” He chuckled, and you cracked a small smile, but that was before his words actually hit you.

Was he, hitting on you?

Maybe not flirting, but that definitely wasn’t something that doctors say to their patients very often. His smirk was also giving you the idea that he had certain intentions.

“Everything seem good down’ere, so I think tha’ problem is with the guys y’gettin with, not you. What type of people do y’usually sleep with.”

“When I was sexually active, it was usually frat boys, so I guess I should’ve known I wasn’t the problem.” You let out a small laugh, Dr. Styles seems to have found it much more amusing, as his chuckle came from deep within his chest. A small movement came with the laugh, which also reminded you that his fingers were still very much inside of you.

“It seems y’need someone who knows his way around,” he cleared his throat, and you smiled as you realized what he was hinting at. “and y’my last paitent of the day, so m’more than happy t’help y’out.” He looked down at his feet shyly, and you found it adorable how he was nervous about what he was proposing. But you were on the verge of tears from how hard it was to hold back your physical response to his touches. Your body relaxed when the words came out of his mouth, and you let out the whine that had been building up in your throat.

“Yes-Harry, god yes.” It was the first time you were using his first name, but the smirk on his face showed his approval.

He quickly removed his fingers from your heat, and you whined again, this time in frustration. Losing contact left you feeling cold, but that feeling only lasted a fleeting moment, as soon as he was pushing his fingers into you again, this time bare.

“Y’already so wet love, what got y’this worked up hmm?”

“Y-you, Harry, I want you.” You tripped over your words, but they came out clear enough for him to understand because he began moving his fingers at the encouragement. His fingers began to pump in and out of you, and you knew he must have been right about not being with the right guys before, because the simple movements left you as putty in his hands. You barely got any pleasure from fingering in your other sexual encounters, but you were already a moaning mess underneath the man. He lifted his other hand, which had also had the glove on it removed, and placed the pad of his finger on your puffy clit. You mewled loudly and his smirk widened.

“Any o’those boys ever make y’feel this good darlin’?” You shook your head furiously, and he smiled, rubbing circles on your sensitive bundle of nerves. You were already seeing stars, and you could feel an unfamiliar knot forming in your stomach. “Y’so pretty, did y’know tha’?”

You couldn’t muster up enough strength to respond to his second question, but the loud moan that you let out was enough of an answer for him. His movements sped up, fingers pumping in and out of you and his other thumb pressing circles on your button.

“Harry-”

“Think y’close darlin’? Ready t’come fo’ the first time?”

“Yes, yes..” Your voice trailed off when a guttural moan rumbled through your throat. Although you haven’t had one before, you were sure that he was about to bring you to an orgasm. There was a tight feeling in your stomach and you knew it was just about to burst.

“Fuck-”

The knot burst and your orgasm rolled through your body, reaching every nerve inside of you. The feeling was euphoric, and your senses were heightened as your body experienced this new feeling.

“Thas’ it, good girl,” he cooed, slowing his movements and removing his fingers from your now overly sensitive clit. He worked you through your orgasm until fully removing his fingers from you, and you let out a sigh as he did so. “Definitely not somethin’ wrong with ya’, I can tell y’that.”

He smiled up at you and you returned the gesture, your smile only faltering when he turned away to write something down. You took the opportunity to get up and change, quickly dressing while his back was turned.

He turned in his chair to face you once again, handing you a small piece of paper. You took it from between his fingers to see a phone number scribbled on it in black ink.

“Is Doctor Styles giving me his number?” You said it in a cheeky way, smirking back at him.

“Yes, and he’s telling you to text him when you get home. Doctor’s orders.”

#harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #blurb #one shot #request #harrys styles request #harry styles fic #one direction #smut #fluff

[donutloverxo]

NO BUT LIKE CONCEPT: SMUT HC where mob!steve comes back from a rough night that leaves him very much outta it and ur the only one who can help him ... in more ways than one

Please note that my stories are not to be stolen or reposted on any other site. Reblogs are welcome. This blog and this story is 18+. Do not read, follow or interact if you are not 18+.

I'm making this a drabble cause I can't work with HCs. Thank you❤ Warmings -explicit sexual content, dom Steve, daddy kink, spanking, blood and wounds, bullets. Dividers by @whimsicalrogers

You put some distance between your poor ear and your phone upon hearing your friends loud screech, excited since she saw your Instagram post of your new engagement ring.

"It is so beautiful! And so unconventional and unique too!"

"Mm-hm," you hummed, applying a second coat of your fiery red nail paint, to make it more intense, you just knew it'd look amazing against Steve's pale skin, he absolutely loved it when you scratched him and were a bit rough with him.

You never gave him any pointers on what kind of engagement ring you'd like, only thing that was a bit too obvious - which you never actually needed to say - was that you loved shiny things. So he has gotten you a ring with a huge sapphire ruby and tiny sparkly diamonds adorning the band. It was everything you needed and more.

"Makes sense because our relationship is anything but conventional." Where he had never directly said that his job involved a few things that were kind of, sort of, illegal but you weren't an idiot, it didn't take you long to figure out.

You knew he was important and rich when he asked you out, not just because he wore fancy clothes, but the way he carried himself, tall and proud and an aura that dominated any room he was in, two bodyguards always around him, and when you both started getting serious he assigned Peter, who was sort of an intern or newbie from what you gathered, to always escort you places and take care of you.

Maybe it wasn't exactly the most rational thing to do - marrying someone who was as feared as he was respected - but all you knew was that he was a good man and you had faith in him, so you stayed away from that part of his life.

"You must be planning the wedding now," she beamed over the phone.

You scoffed, blowing on your fingers, "No, he's always at work these days. It's so annoying, if it doesn't change then I'm leaving and taking the ring with me."

You looked at it sparkling on your finger, it was too beautiful to part with. Besides it became yours as soon as he gave it to you.

"You're late, but there's nothing new about that," you puffed out your cheeks, hands crosses under your chest, as he loosened his tie and worked on taking off his shoes. He had been coming home past midnight for the last month, enough was enough!

"Doll," he groaned, looking at you and ready to tell you off and ask for some space, but then he saw you. In a satin babydoll that barely covered you, with lace trimmings that did nothing to hide your soft nipples, your toes and nails painted just the color he liked, and you were wearing those ridiculous fluffy slippers with bunny ears that he had grown to love.

His mouth opened and then shut like a damn goldfish, forgetting what he was about to tell you.

"Steven," you furrowed your brows.

He knew he was in trouble as soon as you called out his full name. "Yeah?"

"When are we going to discuss the wedding?"

"I'm sorry, doll, work has been hectic these days. But soon."

"Soon? Soon doesn't do it for me," jutting your hip and leaning against the door to your walk in closet, "I need an exact date."

"I can't give it to you right now, puppy," his jaw clenching as you rolled your eyes, "Watch yourself, sweetheart. I had a long day, you don't wanna get on my bad side today."

"You shouldn't have put a rock on it if you didn't intend on marrying me," rolling your eyes extra hard just to get on his nerves.

"I do want to marry you. But right now... you're sort of making me have second thoughts."

He regretted those words as soon as they left his mouth. Because you looked about ready to smack him.

"Fine then. I guess I'll leave and go live with my mother from now on. She would be happy for sure, she isn't too thrilled about our engage - " you stopped your rant as soon as you noticed crimson seeping through his crisp white undershirt as he took off his coat.

Your eyes as wide as saucers, your heart beating fast and hard in your chest and you could feel your eyes getting watery. You weren't handing out empty threats, you were definitely serious about leaving. Just to remind Steve of just how much he loves you.

It wouldn't be the first time. You had done it once before, when you went back to live at your apartment because he yelled at you for going out with your girlfriends without Peter. You didn't need a babysitter, especially not one who was several years younger than you. You had gathered up your things from Steve's penthouse and went home with a heavy heart. You loved him with all your heart, but there was no way you could make it work with someone who was that controlling and mean to you.

But he came to you, literally got on his knees to apologize and to beg for you to take him back. He even made you give up your apartment and got you a bigger house for you both to live in. Just so you couldn't take off ever again.

"Steve... your bleeding..." you said as you held back a sob. Any anger you had towards him was now gone.

"Oh, shit," he looked down to his side, "Must've ruptured the stitch or something..."

You walked over to him, holding onto his waist and looking up at him, trying not to look at his wound. You weren't that squimish around blood, it rarely ever bothered you, but this was your Stevie, and he was hurt. "What happened?"

"Its... It's nothing, doll. It was an accident."

"Yeah, I guess you slipped and fell on a bullet," you huffed.

"No, the bullet barely grazed me. And you know I don't like talking about those things with you."

"Why? I'm not stupid or weak, I have a right to know."

"Of course, not, puppy. You're my sweet, strong, smart girl," he cooed, bending a bit to peck your lips and then groaning. "Gotta, be careful with this," he said as your fingers worked on unbuttoning his shirt.

"If I'm so strong and smart then tell me what happened," you asked as you pushed his shirt off his shoulders. You didn't stop to marvel at his huge and perfect body like you always do, you looked at the fresh batch on stitches right over his hips.

"No, puppy. You're too good for that world, too good for me," he groaned as he sat down on the little pink couch he had put in the closet for you. Since you spent hours trying to pick outfits, he didn't want you standing too long and hurting your feet.

"Fine then don't tell me," you whimpered, rubbing your tears off with the back of your hand.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm okay. I'm right here, not going anywhere," he tried to pull you into his lap, usually he wouldn't even have to ask for you sit on it, but right now you were pulling away and refusing for some reason, "C'mere, doll," he almost whined. Not used to being told no by you anymore than you were by him.

"No, I don't wanna hurt you," you hiccuped, as your sobs started to calm down.

"You wouldn't. You could never hurt me. C'mere I wanna cuddle you and make you feel better," he tried to pull you into him again but you just shook your head.

"I should be the one making you better. Not the other way around. But I don't know how to..." you swayed from side to side, suddenly ashamed of your brash behavior from earlier. "I'm sorry, I was being such a brat earlier."

"It's okay, puppy. I forgive you. You were right, we need to fix a date and find a venue and get you a pretty dress. I wanna see you in one of those poffy gowns, like a princess."

"That's called a ballgown," you said proudly, having done your research now. You knew all about the styles of the gowns, sleeves, necklines, colors and everything. "And you're not going to be involved in dress shopping process. Grooms aren't supposed to see the dress before the wedding it's bad luck."

He hummed at that, a bit disappointed but he would eventually see it, and then take it off, so it wasn't a huge loss. "Yes, you're right. But, let's not forget, you were a bad girl."

You gasped incredulously, "Well, you were being a bad fiance!" Which earned you a swift smack to your backside, making you yelp and fall forward, holding onto his shoulders for support.

"I didn't mind you calling me out for that. I want you to be honest with me and tell me everything. But you threatened to leave me, again."

You pouted. Offended for being called out so blatantly. Yeah you always made empty threats, packed up your bags just for show, whenever you didn't get your way. Never considering his feelings when yours were hurt.

"Sorry," you mumbled.

"I forgive you. I know you didn't mean it. But I'll have to teach you your lesson. Just so you know better next time."

You nodded your head, which made him spank you once more, "Yes, daddy!"

"Good. How many do you think you deserve?"

"Um... Fifteen. Ten for threatening to leave, and five for giving you attitude."

"See, you're so smart. I'll punish you tomorrow though. I'm tired right now," he groaned as he sat back against the couch, squeezing your hips and admiring your figure, showing through the thin material of your nightie.

"Um, daddy?"

"Yes, angel?"

"Is there anyway I can make you feel better right now?"

"Yeah, you can give me a kiss. You didn't give me one this morning when I left, or when I came back."

"Okay, I'll kiss you. But I also wanted to do more..." you murmured, your face burned hot as you realised that Steve was going to make you say what you wanted to do.

"Like what?"

"Like, take your cock down my throat. Would that make you feel better? I'll try and be careful about your stitches." Truth be told you missed being intimate with him, you needed it as much as he did.

"It definitely would make me feel better. But I want to have you close to me," he stroked the inside of your thighs, hands dangerously close to your cunt, "Why don't you, come ride my cock. Just like I taught you, hm?"

"But - what if I hurt you..." you whined. But he wasn't having any of it, rolling your panties down your legs.

"You wouldn't, puppy, come on we'll be careful. Be quick."

You gave him a meek nod, unzipping him with shaky fingers, giving his glorious cock a couple of pumps before straddling his lap. You made sure to not put any pressure on his lap. Lining his cock up to your pussy with your hands wrapped around his neck, you slowly sanked down on him.

First giving him a nice and thorough kiss to make him for not kissing him goodbye or welcome home like you always do. "I feel so full," you say against his lips.

He hummed, squeezing your ass, "I was made for you, angel. As you were for me." He slid the straps of your nightie down your arms, exposing your breasts to him. He made sure to shower them with all his lips, sucking, kissing and biting and pulling with his mouth. You were making the sweetest of noises, trying to keep your moans in as he helped you bounce on his cock by holding onto your hips.

"You're doing so good. Being such a good girl for me. My sweet, best girl," he cooed, kissing your forehead, he knew how you were still vulnerable to be on top.

"Am I making you feel better, daddy?" you sniffled, his cock hiting you in all the right places, making it impossible for you to keep going and hold off your climax.

"I'm all better already, thanks to you, puppy."

#berry answers #steve rogers x reader #mob!steve rogers #steve x reader

[papipopsicle]

AFTERTASTE PART SEVEN

Pairing: Archie Andrews X Reader

Summary: In which two best friends since childhood test whether sex and friendship can co-exist without causing conflict. Including OC's Flick and Cherry, a bisexual and lesbian in a sapphic relationship who are best friends of Y/N.

Song: Dream Boy by Waterparks

Warnings: swearing

Words: 2.1K

MASTERLIST

feedback is always appreciated

Y/F and Y/M Robins were far from perfect parents. Y/F had the mental age of a toddler at times, and being an estate agent who always has to go the extra mile- he often wasn't home when his wife needed him the most. Y/M, on the other end of things, had been a stay at home mum until Y/N turned 16 last summer, and now she helped with all the administrative work for Mayor McCoy. She was a maternal creature which, coupled with her brilliant sarcasm, made for some explosive conversations. The two met on the first day of university and got married a week after the last.

When Y/M first found out she was pregnant with little Y/S Robins, the two realised they wanted a quiet bubble of a town to raise their children and grow up with them. But it wasn't until their second daughter was about to turn seven until they found their forever home in the quaint town of Riverdale. Ten years passing before their eyes, and the picturesque place didn't seen all that anymore.

Jason Blossom's death had nothing to do with the short gunshot sounding over the waves of Sweetwater River, the noise which woke Y/N from her sweet unmemorable dreams every few nights. The summer days rolled into early August without anyone caring, Y/N spending most of them at Cheryl's side listening intently to her past adventures with her brother. Betty threw herself into an internship at a publication house; Flick and Cherry had volunteered at a summer camp, and Archie was helping his dad out more and more with constructions job.

Although it hadn't been the start to the relationship Y/N had hoped for- the nervous giggles and hand holding, short and sweet kisses on late night walks followed by poetry worthy cuddling. There was a magnificent silver lining as Archie's muscles gained definition, and he suited the sweaty builder look far too well.

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y/n Humph!

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"Earth to my gorgeous queen? Y/N/N?" Cheryl quizzed her friend, who currently resided at the poolside of Thornehill Manor. Her mind was off on a glorious tangent about her rendezvous in the kitchen at two in the morning. Fixing herself a glass of water, when Archie slips his hand into her pyjama shorts, his other around her mouth muffling her needy moans.

The red headed beauty shoved her y/h/c friend playfully, warm skin sweaty under her pale touch. Y/N blinked innocently and sent her an apologetic smile, "What?"

"I asked if you've thought about dating anyone else since Clayton?" The fiery ginger girl enquired with her usual upbeat tone.

Cheryl knew she had a unique quality about her which made it almost impossible for Y/N to lie to her face. The y/h/c girl scrunched up her nose, hiding the smile the idea of Archie Andrews brought to her face. 'Yes. We started off as fuck buddies but never actually fucked. Then I drunkenly asked him to be my boyfriend, now a month later I think we may genuinely work out.'

"Maybe." Y/N bit her bottom lip, listening to her friend's squeal as she squeezed her sun tanned arm.

"I knew it! You have this euphoric glow you only get when someone else makes you climax." The redhead affirmed confidently, watching the Robins girl's eyes bug out before hitting her arm, "Y/N/N, you know your secret's safe with me."

"Fine." She sighed and took a sip of her fruity cocktail, "It started off as just fooling around, honestly I just needed to let off some steam after everything. I knew he was into the kinds of things I was, I mean he used to tease me about it non stop. And it was good, so good I stopped being a pussy and asked him to be my boyfriend."

"Holy freaking hell!" The Blossom girl grinned with excitement, "Dare I ask, who is it?"

Y/N deadpanned at her friend, "Guess."

"Please don't tell me it's that muscular oaf Reggie, he's pretty but there's not exactly much going on upstairs." Cheryl tapped her temples and rolled her eyes at the thought.

"Nope."

The ginger thought for a moment, consulting her liquid courage and splashing her feet around the waters edge, "It's Archie."

All it took was a side-eyed glance at the y/h/c girl's blooming rosy cheeks to know she definitely wasn't wrong. Y/N severely lacked the ability to lie, even if her tone held conviction, her features were far too expressive and told the truth all on their own. It's not like they were hiding it from anyone, but the past four weeks had gone far too quickly without any moments to spare for the world around them. They slept together each night, the majority of that time not actually spent sleeping, but they hadn't been given the chance yet to explore more romantic avenues.

"It's fucking Archie Andrews- you're fucking Archie Andrews and don't you dare deny it." Cheryl gawked in her gorgeous white and nude bikini, watching as her friend lay back against the hot marble slabs which encased the large pool with the largest grin adorning her plump lips.

"We haven't had sex yet, so technically you aren't completely correct." Y/N winked but carried on before the girl exploded with a hundred questions and could never be turned off, "Trust me, I want to, and I'm sure he does too. But you know, it's his first time, I want it to be perfect for him."

"Y/N/N, you really love him, don't you?" Cheryl gagged to begin with, but she found it sweet in truth. She wanted someone to hold, who would hold her right back just as tight for no other reason than needing to.

Y/N sat back up and paddled her feet, "You have no idea, Cher."

Arch 🧡

That new post should be illegal

Tiger 💛

Ooo

I like this reaction

Maybe I should post more

Like this one

Cheryl pushed me in the pool

And I may have had a drink

Or three

Arch 🧡

Well that's sexy

I swear nobody looks good like that how on earth

You're a goddess

But also

How's she holding up?

Tiger 💛

🥺😇

Broken

But she's strong yk

You coming over for dinner?

Arch 🧡

Yeah Y/D invited my dad too

Need me to pick you up from Cheryl's?

Tiger 💛

Awe cute we love a bromance, and it's all good my mommas coming now anyways :))

Hours had elapsed far too fast and soon the summer heat simmered into cool waves of wind brushing over sun kissed skin. Cheryl's arms were clasped around the blonde's shoulders in a tight embrace.

"Thank you so much, Y/N/N, I don't know what I'd do without you!" The Blossom girl professed with sparkling eyes and a brilliant smile.

Y/N beamed up at her, fingers carding through her damp y/h/c hair as she looked over her shoulder to see her mum pulling into the driveway, "You don't need to thank me, Cher, friends look after each other. Message me if you need me, okay?"

Cheryl promised she would and the two teen girls hugged goodbye, with Y/N soon heading home- listening to her mother gossip about Hal and Alice's screaming match last night, Y/N loved her inability to keep her mouth shut sometimes.

"Mom," The y/h/c stopped her mid sentence and received a side eyed glance in response, "I need to tell you something and you're totally not allowed to freak out while you're driving."

Y/M's eyes widened and her grip tightened around the steering wheel, her daughters very rarely confided in her. While she knew her youngest was safe in her promiscuity, neither of Y/M Robins' girls ever shared their secrets so for the most part she took finding out into her own hands.

"Honey," The forty four year old's calm tone was hardly comforting to the teenager, "if this is about you and Archie fooling around, your father and I figured that out a long time ago, like so long ago. Who do you think does your laundry? When your underwear starting looking like dental floss, we caught on pretty quickly."

Y/N felt like a deer in headlights, "Mum, what the hell?" Her cheeks heated to an inhuman temperature.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, as long as you're being safe and he's-"

"For the second time today, and I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but I am not having sex with Archie Andrews!" Y/N's high pitched voice sounded through the car. It truly was a blessing and a curse to have such open minded parents in situations like this. She thought about telling her mother the truth, but Y/M was a blabber mouth as well as a gossip, so Y/N chose to withhold certain pieces of information.

The Robins matriarch dropped the subject but didn't forget about her daughter's tone, and continued to ramble on about how odd she found Penelope Blossom and the whole Blossom family in general. "Like why on Earth is Rose in a wooden wheelchair? They know it's the twenty first century, right?"

As expected, the Robins household was once again filled with warm laughter and copious amounts of food. The topic of Jason was skimmed over, and Y/S found herself away from the dinner table. The eldest Robins sibling was currently pleading with Alice as she began shoving all of Polly's belongings in the boot of Hal's car. She couldn't comprehend life without her best friend, not after losing Jason. They were meant to be going travelling together for a year- working the worst jobs and staying up all night to watch the sun rise in different countries. But instead, Y/S's eyes were blinded by tears as she screamed down the street at the speeding car, with Polly Cooper taken out of her life indefinitely.

Y/N was oblivious to the dark inner workings of the Cooper clan, Betty's knowledge about her and Archie unbeknownst to the loved up teens. She'd spent every second not occupied by her internship trying to justify the romantic act as a fleeting moment of loneliness fuelled by alcohol. She wrote in her diary ideas on how she could win Archie back over, not knowing it was in fact, too late. Betty found herself hopelessly in love with the boy next door, unfortunately for her, the girl across the road was the only one his mind found.

Archie and Y/N washed up while their parents resided to the living room with three glasses and a bottle of white wine. The short girl turned the tap off after placing the last utensil on the draining board, flicking her sudsy hands at the boy's face. "What the-"

She didn't give him a chance to finish that thought, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his torso- planting a kiss onto his lips, then cheeks, then forehead. The two fell entranced by each other, planting pecks across nape of her neck and top of his head.

"Son," Fred's voice called out from the next room and the two immediately pulled apart, hearts beating in their ears, "we're going in a minute."

"Alright." He replied, placing his girlfriend on the floor once more.

"I wish you'd stay." Y/N pouted childishly, she meant the words entirely but hated feeling overbearing. Her life had been turned upside down this summer, it started off with her unable to fall asleep with another person next to her- now Archie's chest was her most comfortable pillow and is arms were the warmest blanket.

"Tomorrow night instead, Princess? I promised my dad I'd spend more time with him before senior year." The boy reasoned, holding her close and unknowingly feeling the exact same way, he adored holding her by her waist and pulling her close under the duvet.

"Monopoly night at yours?" She grinned and he nodded back in reply, the two sharing a final kiss in the kitchen before walking into the hallway.

Y/N felt at ease as she wished the two a goodnight and headed up to bed. She took off her tea dress and replaced it with Archie's bulldog t-shirt, managing to reach the same length on her thighs as her dress did.

Arch 🧡

I can still smell your perfume on my sheets

Tiger 💛

Marking my territory obviously x

Arch 🧡

I love it

Hope you sleep well baby x

Tiger 💛

Call me that tomorrow and we won't be sleeping so you better rest up tonight x

Arch 🧡

Whatever you say, baby x

Tiger 💛

Goodnight x

Arch 🧡

Night princess x

part eight?

wanna be tagged? just send in an ask x

#fanfic #fanfiction #riverdale #archie andrews #archie x reader #archie andrews x reader #archie #Riverdale imagine #riverdale fluff #riverdale smut #riverdale imagines #archie imagine #fluff #smut

[lilyofthesword-writes]

The Intern (Loki Oneshot)

Summary: Loki takes an interest in the latest of a long line of Stark’s interns.

Pairing: Loki x Reader (Can be read as platonic, if preferred)

Word Count: 2,809

Disclaimers/Warnings: None. Just a bit of fluff.

A/N: This wound up turning into something entirely different from the original concept. Just kinda went with what felt right. Also trying desperately to remember working with an Arduino board to make this at least semi-accurate.

Masterlist

Loki traipsed aimlessly through the Tower, his overly-friendly insomnia having kept him up past four in the morning again. Nothing seemed to help him sleep and he constantly grew bored laying around in his room waiting for exhaustion to overtake him. Wandering about seemed as good as anything. Sometimes he would come across something interesting. It seems now would be that time.

He rounded the corner and found himself gazing through the wall-length windows of Tony Stark’s lab. The armor-less Iron Man was passed out in a chair, head haphazardly lolling on a table. Usually, he was still working and would be until at least seven a.m. before Pepper would literally drag him to bed.

Movement at the other end of the room caught his eye. There you were, pulling a blanket out of the cupboard. You crossed the lab and placed the well-used cloth over Stark’s shoulders before returning to your work. Sliding your safety glasses on, you put all your focus into soldering some wires to a board.

What in the nine realms were you doing here at this hour? The sun hadn’t even reached the horizon yet. None of his previous interns ever started their days before nine. Albeit, they had barely lasted a week while you broke a record at just over a month, but the point still stood. Why were you here?

“Are you just going to stand there like a creeper, Loki, or are you going to come in and hang out?” you called out, not even bothering to tear your eyes away from the wiring.

Well, this excursion could prove to be interesting. Loki slithered through the doorway to stand opposite of you at your table.

“So what are you doing up this early?” you murmured. If it weren’t for you glancing up at him, someone may have thought it was more of a question for yourself.

Loki huffed a laugh. “I could ask you the same question.”

That elicited a quirky smile from you. “Woke up way before my alarm and couldn’t fall back asleep. Figured I’d start my day early.” You gestured toward Stark with the soldering iron. “This one over here is pretty lenient on the hours.”

“I would hope so,” Loki chuckled, “considering his own schedule.”

“A schedule that consists of planned energy drink breaks. Definitely one of the more interesting employers out there.”

“I suppose you could say that,” he mumbled, leaning heavily on his forearms propped on the table.

You set down the soldering iron in its stand and shut if off. “So I answered your question. How about you?”

“I simply could not sleep,” he nonchalantly replied.

“Hmm...” you hummed. “Lemme guess. A member of Insomniacs Anonymous?”

His chuckle reverberated through the room. This was probably one of the reasons Stark kept you around. You certainly had a particular snarky confident air about you.

Yet the corners of your mouth suddenly hung low and your brow scrunched together. “It’s more than that, isn’t it?”

“Pardon?” He was confused at your change in demeanor.

“It’s not as simple as you couldn’t sleep. There’s more to it.”

Loki’s lips parted in astonishment. Here you were in your first true encounter with him and you read him like an open book. What had you been told?

“I won’t make you say anything.” You held your hands up in a placating manner. “You probably don’t want to, and that’s okay. However.” You grabbed the notepad next to you and scribbled something on it, ripping off the paper and sliding it towards him. “If you’re ever bored and I’m not here, you can text me. I’ll probably answer.”

He reluctantly took the note that had your number written on it. “I cannot say I am very adept with these cellular devices.”

“Pretty sure you’re clever enough to figure it out,” you grinned like the Cheshire Cat. “But seriously, no pressure. The offer is always out there.”

“Wha?!” Stark snorted himself awake, his eyes shooting around wildly. “Rudolf? What’re you doing here?” He eyed Loki suspiciously. “You’re not going to scare away my intern, are you? That’s my job.”

You laughed, keeping Loki from spitting a venomous retort. “Good luck with that. You’ll have to try a lot harder if that’s what you’re going for, Stark.”

“Obviously. You haven’t run off yet. I’m surprised.” He took the blanket that was wrapped around him and began folding it. “Pleasantly surprised.”

“Sure, sure!” You waved him off.

Stark looked at his watch and swiped a hand through his purposely messy bed head. “It’s that time already. I better get breakfast before Pepper finds me... Alright!” He clapped. “Both of you, let’s go! Time for grub!”

Loki’s eyebrows shot up across his forehead. Was Stark actually having him join the two of you for breakfast?

“Yes, you too, Reindeer Games! One, I don’t want you in the lab alone.” That earned him Loki’s scowl. “Two, you seem to be behaving, so why not have you eat with us.”

You nudged Stark’s arm while shooting Loki an inconspicuous wink. “Awww, look at you! Already getting into Dad Mode and little Morgan hasn’t even entered the world yet.”

He nudged you back. “Yeah, yeah, yeah! Now come on. I’m starving!”

You continued to tease him as you followed him out of the lab with Loki close behind.

Loki lay in bed a few nights later, lost in thought. He could not get you out of his head. You had spoken with him like you would anyone else, deflected and stood up for him despite hardly knowing him. In the few years since he had been thrown to Midgard as punishment, Thor was the only one to show him a sliver of kindness, but even he held some hesitation. You did not. Your earlier interaction was genuine. He wasn’t sure what to make of it all.

In his perpetual deliberation, he had avoided the lab since that morning. Not that he didn’t like you. It was the uncertainty that kept him away, but that wouldn’t last much longer.

His phone settled lax in his hand, your name illuminating the screen. You had been right about him being able to learn how to text. Now it was a matter of completing the action. Tossing the phone to his other hand, he glared at the bright screen. His message had already been written. All he had to do was select “Send”. The clock at the top of the screen read two a.m. Surely, you would be asleep... But what if you weren’t?

With a huff, he pinched his eyes shut and hit the button, the swooshing sound seemingly echoing off the walls. The following silence was deafening. Luckily for him, the reply swoosh fell inline shortly after.

You: Hey, Loki. Can’t sleep?

Loki: How did you know who this was without me saying?

You: I can’t think of anyone else who would text me at this hour. ;)

Loki: I apologize if I woke you.

You: Nah. Already up. Trouble staying asleep. So what’re you up to?

Loki: Texting you.

You: Other than that, Mischief

Loki: Thinking.

You: Yeah? About what?

Loki: Possibly meandering through the Tower, again.

You: Liar ;)

Loki: Pardon?

You: You were obviously thinking about me.

Loki: What makes you say that?

You: You had to be. At least in the context that it would be better to text me than exploring.

Loki: Fair enough. Now, how do you know I am not planning to choose both?

You: You got me there.

—

Loki met you at the lab later that morning. The familiar sight of Stark was passed out, snuggling his face to a countertop, greeted you both.

Shaking your head, you huffed a laugh as you passed through the doorway. “Can’t really reprimand him when my sleep schedule is just as bad.”

Loki’s lips curled into a light smirk but didn’t speak a word lest Stark awaken and force him to leave. Despite your two hour texting session, he had been looking forward to joining you here.

“Thanks for meeting me here, by the way,” you called out to him as still stood just at the edge of the lab. “A little company while working is kind of nice. Gets too quiet when Stark finally shuts down.”

Taking a seat across from you, Loki quirks an eyebrow. “Would that not be considered a blessing?”

You stifled a chuckle as you flipped on the soldering iron and pulled out what roughly looked like a vambrace. The board you had been working on previously was molded to the shape. “If that happened by the end of my workday, yes. This early in the morning? Not so much. It’s boring if not a little eerie.”

“I see... So I am only here for your entertainment,” he feigned offense.

You gasped dramatically, “Me? Never!”

Laughing with you, Loki made himself a bit more comfortable as he watched you work. At the moment, you were adding tiny capacitors and securing them into place.

“If I may, what are you trying to accomplish?”

“Well,” you started, glancing up at him. “It’s a new piece of armor. Other than that, I technically shouldn’t say much else.”

“Right... Classified information?”

There was a twinkle of mischief in your eyes as you looked at him again. “It is a secret, but nothing quite as official as that.”

Loki leaned across the tabletop, supporting his chin in his hand. “So there is no harm in you revealing your project,” he tested.

“Harm? No. However, there will be disappointment on my end if you figure it out.”

“I accept this challenge,” he grinned playfully.

You smirked back,“As you wish, Mischief. I won’t make this easy for you.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Darling.”

The next several weeks chaotically blurred together. At first, you allowed Loki to observe your project as you worked on it. Once the vambrace began to take on a more unique form, you were hiding it in the mornings, opting to take on a different assignment when he was in the room. The design was strikingly Asgardian, leading him to believe the new armor was for Thor. He just needed to figure out what it did. He spoke with his brother on multiple occasions but was unable to glean anything from him. Either he had no clue or suddenly learned to lie well enough to fool Loki, the latter highly doubtful.

Apart from politely harassing you via text, Loki took to locating your hiding spots, something that proved difficult when the lab was almost always occupied by you, Stark or Banner at varying times. Stark was helping you keep this little secret, a sparkle in his eyes whenever he shooed Loki from the room when he was caught investigating. Even Banner was in on it, albeit reluctantly.

Then there was that Doctor Strange who was showing up every few days, joining you all in the lab much to Loki’s chagrin. By that point, Stark had banned him from the entire floor. The project must have been coming to a close if you all were trying to cover it up so desperately. But why Strange? Was he imbuing the vambrace with magic to protect Thor better? (Not that he really needed it.) His curiosity was certainly getting the better of him, going so far as to shape-shift as one of you three when Strange wasn’t around to get into the room. Somehow, Friday always knew and alerted the lab’s occupants who would send him back to the elevator.

It was early one morning as he was perusing the contents of the shared kitchen that you initiated contact with him. He was surprised since he had been the one to text you first lately to see if you would spill your secret.

You: Hey. Can you stop by the lab?

Loki: Oh? I thought I was banned.

You: Lifted as of a few minutes ago. So?

Loki: I suppose I might be able to grace you with my presence.

You: So kind of you, my King ;)

His heart skipped a beat at you calling him “your King”. You only used it in a teasing fashion when he was acting high and mighty. Even then, it still flustered him.

Loki made his way to the elevator, deeming it a bit devious to take the long way to the lab. You had made him wait all this time. It was your turn.

The doors reopened on the lab floor, revealing that his ploy to annoy had worked. You were leaned against the wall next to the elevator, waiting for his arrival.

“Finally! Come on!”

You audaciously grabbed his wrist and dragged him into the room with an impatient grin. Stopping him near your normal workstation, you demanded he close his eyes.

“Excuse me?” he responded incredulously, ripping his arm from your grasp.

“Please, Loki...” Your pleading eyes grew larger as you pouted at him.

Stark groaned, “Just do it, Reindeer Games, or I’ll cover them for you.”

Loki’s lips reared into a snarl as he glared at the billionaire before relenting and clenching his eyelids shut. Norns, how he hated those nicknames.

“Okay!” Excitement laced your voice. “Would you hold up your dominant hand?”

“Making more demands, Darling?”

“I did ask nicely this time.”

“That you did,” he chuckled a complied, holding out a hand.

“Perfect!”

He felt a metallic weight placed on his forearm before it was clasped together with a comfortable tightness.

“Okay. You can look now!”

The sight of the vambrace on his arm left Loki’s mouth agape. The main black of the piece was lined with gold Asgardian knot designs with runes placed in a handful of the empty spaces. Near his wrist, an artificial emerald was embedded in the armor. If he had to be completely honest, the aesthetics could rival much of the armor back home.

“Well, Kid. It looks like you rendered him speechless.” Stark nudged your arm.

Loki’s gaze shot up to the two of you. Stark was leaning against the workstation while you had hoisted yourself to sit atop it, nothing but grins on either of your faces.

“What is this-”

You cut him off, “It’s for you. We noticed after some of your missions where you had to use your seiðr more than usual, you’d end up exhausted before getting back to the Quinjet. The new armor should help with that. It’s supposed to amplify your magic without draining you.”

Stark shoved you lightheartedly, again. “The kid noticed. Told ‘em if they could come up with something that could work, I’d give whatever resources needed for the project.”

“So what do you think? I mean we still need to undergo more testing and calibrations before you can use it in the field, but-”

“You made this?” Loki locked barely tearing eyes with you. “For me?”

“Yup! Kid designed the whole thing!” Stark kept you from answering. “Minus the bits we had to bring Strange in for the wizard-y things, this was a solo run. Did a pretty good job. Not sure I could have done much better.”

“Stark...” you grumbled, clearly not used to the praise.

“This is...” Loki tore his gaze away back to the vambrace. “I don’t... I don’t know what to say.” His voice was just loud enough for you to hear.

“A ‘thank you’ would be a good start. Now maybe this little intern will get more sleep,” Stark blundered before checking his watch. “Well, it’s about time for my morning scolding. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me!”

With that he whisked himself out of the room and to the elevator, leaving you and Loki in a terribly awkward silence.

“Hey...” you started. “If you don’t like it, we can scrap the design. It’s not a big deal-”

“Thank you.” His pupils were filled with a sincere gratefulness that few had ever seen before. “This is... This is simply splendid.”

“Really? You’re not just saying that?”

Loki spun on his heel to fully face you, his hands coming to rest on the countertop on either side of you. “I mean it, Darling. This... No one has ever done something like this for me before. I would be honored to be your test subject,” he ended with a smirk.

“Well, if that’s the case,” you grinned right back at him, “I’d say let’s get some breakfast first. There will be plenty of time to optimize the vambrace later.”

Pulling back enough to release you from his cage of arms, he gestured for you to lead the way. “After you,” he breathed.

Hopping down from the table, you held out a hand for him. Hesitantly, Loki took it while running a thumb over your knuckles as you pulled him to the elevator with you.

#loki x reader #loki x you #loki fanfic #loki imagine #loki marvel #loki friggason #loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki fanfiction #marvel avengers #loki of asgard #loki fluff #avengers #the avengers #tony stark #iron man #pepper potts #bruce banner #doctor strange #thor odinson #thor marvel #fanfiction #fanfic #marvel fanfiction

[cinnamonrusts]

sparda twins -- reactions

The Sparda twins reactions that you're pregnant with not just one, but two of their children.

DANTE-

You paced the bathroom several times as you gnawed on your thumbnail. Your eyes did not leave the plastic stick that was sitting on the edge of the sink near the toilet. The packaging read that results would be ready in five minutes, but the wait had it feeling like five hours.

Dante had left on a run for some take out and you knew that it was all the way across town, so it left you some free time to figure out your "little" situation. You hadn't told him anything. How could you? The two of you were not in an exactly "family friendly" business. Last thing Dante would need to worry about was a mini Sparda.

You had enough of waiting and snatched the test from the counter. Your eyes narrowed as they fixated on the single horizontal pink line, but widened when it turned into a plus. The blood in your body ran cold and your throat grew dry. It was as if the + sign mocked you and your stomach felt sick. You knew it would happen, Dante called himself the pull out king. Yeah - fucking - right, and this proved him to be very wrong.

The evidence needed to be disposed of, so you wrapped it several times in some toilet paper and shoved it in the trash can. Dante hardly took the trash out and it would be unlikely that he would decide to scour the garbage, so you felt safe. Now all you would have to do is just keep it a secret until you decided how to approach it.

It didn't last long and soon Nico was on the other end of the phone. She let out a happy, "'Eller!" but was greeted by a loud sob along with unintelligible babble. "Woah! Woah! [Y/N], you gotta repeat yourself. I couldn't make out a damn thing! You okay?" the brunette asked, concerned. "I'M PREGNANT!" your sobs now made sense. "Oh, shit," she replied. "Yeah, oh shit is right."

"Did you tell Dante yet?"

You scoffed, "No. I don't think I can," as you spoke on the phone in the kitchen, your eyes fixed on a photo on the fridge of you and your devil hunter boyfriend. The two of you looked so happy and Dante's smile was so bright, the vibes that radiated from the picture kind of gave you some assurance. Maybe Dante would react well to the news and maybe he'd give the same smile of glee at the idea of being a father.

"But you're going to have to at some point. How you goin' to explain a giant belly here in a few months?" Nico was right, there was no way around it. You pinched the bridge of your nose and closed your eyes tight, "Could you maybe -- I dunno, take me to the doctor?" Nico replied, "I'll be there in a jiff!"

Just as you hung up, Dante walked in with two large bags that smelled of Chinese food. "Food is here and beer is in the fridge!" he waddled into the kitchen and his happy expression turned to one of concern when he noticed you looked upset. "Hey, darlin', you alright?" he set the bags down on the floor and slid to your side, his arms around your waist. His musk along with the heavy smell of greasy Chinese food almost threw you over the edge and caused you to gag. You placed your hand on his chest to prevent him from getting closer. His brows furrowed as he tried to understand what was wrong but the loud horn of Nico's van interrupted. "I'm going out with Nico. I'll be back," you brushed past him, grabbed your coat, and dashed out the door.

You were able to take a breath once you jumped into the passenger seat and slammed the door shut. Your head rested on the back of the seat and your eyes closed, "Thanks for the ride." Nico placed a hand on your thigh and nodded, "No problem, girlfriend."

Several hours passed and you weren't home yet. Dante's mind raced with different things he could've done to make you so upset. Was it because he hadn't taken the trash out? He would do that soon. Was it because he hadn't shown his appreciation for you relationship lately? He would go tonight to get you some flowers. So, the man did just that. Dante took the overflowed trash out. Then he made sure to hurry, so, that he would be home before you. Dante chose a bouquet of white roses and a goofy card. The card had two hot dogs on the front who held hands with smiles on their faces. It read, "Hot dog! You make me happy!" Dante got a kick out of it and figured you would too. The devil hunter wrote a quick, cheesy blurb in a scribbled mess and signed with his name plus a heart.

He opened the door and was surprised to see you in a chair near the entrance. You seemed to be in a trance and were startled by Dante’s sudden appearance. “I got you these!” he handed his gifts over but his happiness was dropped when you didn’t seem very happy to receive them.

“Dante, I have something I need to tell you.” you found it hard to keep your eyes on his. “Well, here it goes---,” your nose inhaled, then exhaled deeply, “I’m pregnant.”

Dante’s face was void of emotion before he burst into laughter. You grew angry and your facial expressions matched it. “That’s a good one, babe. Whew!,” he clapped his hands and winced a bit with his hand on his side, “Ow! That laugh made me pull a muscle.”

“I’m serious, Dante. I’m pregnant.” you reiterated. “With --- emotion?” he asked as his eyes shifted side to side.

“What? No! With a baby!”

Once Dante heard it for the third time, he realized it all. He was going to be a father and you were going to be the one who would usher in another lineage of the Sparda bloodline. Dante rushed to your side and took a knee as he kneeled beside you. His palm immediately made its way to your stomach as he pictured the life that was within. “Hey there, little buddy.” You cleared your throat into a closed fist which drew his attention to your face. Your right hand raised slowly and you twiddled your two first fingers in the air with a small smile.

That same grin that shined in the photo on your fridge grew across his lips. Both of his hands grabbed either side of your lower torso and he stared at your stomach. “You mean, there’s two of me in there?!” His expressions were warm and overjoyed, relief crashed over you as this situation turned out better than you thought. 

“I’m gonna really need to get outta debt.”

VERGIL-

Your body spoke to you and told you that something was going on. Every morning you felt ill and you could devour anything in sight until nausea overtook you. Lady asked if there was any possibility that you could be pregnant. A snort left your nostrils, “Impossible. Vergil and I don’t have sex enough for that to happen.” your mate was normally not home, you often slept in an empty bed more than one occupied by his strong body. But anytime he was, the act of intimacy could tear the walls down of his brother’s building. He was a focused and controlled man, he knew what he needed to do to prevent another child in his life. You were okay with that, your job was not one that was prime for being a parent. So, there was no doubt in your mind that this was nothing but a simple stomach bug.

“I don’t know, all your symptoms point to it, [Y/N]. Maybe you should take a test,” she attempted to reason with you and you eventually gave in.

The entire time you played it off as just something you did for Lady so that she would get off your back about it. You sat on the closed toilet lid and held the test loosely in between your fingers. The box read that it would take about ten minutes for a result, so you avoided looking at it until roughly around that. But your heart dropped into your stomach when the test did not read negative, but positive. “Shit --- Lady was right.” your cursed and your head dropped between your knees as your mind raced.

Vergil just found out that he had a son, Nero, and now you would throw him the information that he would have now an infant on the way. It was a conversation that you did not want to have. Vergil was a reserved man who did not show you his emotions often or expressed them publicly. You knew he loved you but it took quite sometime for him to open up to you about the fact. He put back his one track set mind toward power and made you a priority in his life. However, he had issues with being around his brother, son, and the other’s -- so he often went off on his own. You learned that this was something he wanted and you did not want to force yourself to go with him always. 

So, this news would not be easy to break to him when he would return in about a week. With the test clenched in your hand, you opened the door to leave the bathroom to only be greeted by Lady who was leaned against the walls with arms crossed. “So, what’s the prognosis?” she pushed herself from the wall and followed you as you pushed past her. You tossed the test into the air with your fingers and she caught it, “What do you think?” you answered before she was able to see for herself. The female was shocked to see that she was correct but didn’t want to say that she told you so.

You were about to slam your room door shut but her boot stopped it, “What’re you going to tell Vergil?” Your back was turned toward her and you faced the window as you observed the rain that pattered against the window. “Fuck if I know. How do you tell someone like him that he’s going to be a father... again.” Lady was silent, you turned on your heels to face her, “Exactly.”

Lady took your hand in hers and gave you a comforting smile, “Hey, he won’t be home for like what-- another week? Let’s get you to the doctor, we’ll figure something out.” You smiled faintly in return, “You’re a hell of a lady, Lady,” she batted her eyelashes, “Oh, I know.~”

A Week Later --

Lady was in your room with you and the door was closed, the two of you spoke of your plan of how you would drop the bomb on your half demon boyfriend.

“Do you really think Vergil will accept it?” you asked just as the white haired man opened the door, “Accept what?” he asked coolly. Lady closed her mouth and first looked at Vergil, then to you, “I’ll just let you guys have some alone time,” she slinked past the Sparda man and closed the door behind her. His gaze never left you and his strong features were unmoved.

You attempted to embrace him as you wrapped your arms around his neck but he gave you a slight push away before you could place a kiss on his cheek. “Will you tell me what you were talking about?” You bit your lower lip and hesitated to confess to him. Vergil took hold of your chin with his fingertips, “Speak.”

You swallowed hard, his blue eyes did not waver and they were just so beautiful that you couldn’t hold it in any longer. “I’m --- pregnant,” you whispered. It was like time moved to slow motion, Vergil observed each syllable that came from your lips. Pregnant? Pregnant. Pregnant.

 A twitch in Vergil’s furrowed brows caught your attention, it proceeded to twitch several times before he closed his eyes and released his grip on your chin. “How?” You shrugged, “I thought we were careful every time, even with our more adventurous hookups.” He didn’t speak and just listened, “Why?”

“Why?” you repeated, “That’s what happens, Vergil. I can’t really make it anymore clear.” As per usual, you couldn’t read him and his thoughts were a mystery to you.

“So, I’ll be a father once again. At least I’m currently aware of this one.” he sighed.

“Two,” you interjected. It was as if you could see his ears perk up when you mentioned a number higher than he assumed. “Two? Another set of Sparda twins...” he was quiet before you could see a small smile on his lips. Vergil called for you to come to him, which you obeyed.

He wrapped his right arm around your upper half. His left hand rested on your stomach with a loved filled touch. His chin rested on top of your head as he imagined what they looked like and what life would be like in several months.

He thought to himself, maybe -- just maybe -- he truly deserved a happy life, despite all the things he had done. He now felt a stronger urge to want to be around you, the babies, and even Dante more. 

“Do I deserve this happiness, [Y/N]?” 

Your hand rested on his that was still on your stomach, “Of course. You always have.”

#devil may cry #dmc #dante sparda x reader #dante x reader #dante sparda #vergil sparda x reader #vergil x reader #vergil sparda #devil may cry x reader #devil may cry imagine #dante imagine #vergil imagine #pregnant!reader #did you catch my knocked up reference #lmao my fave part