#say nice things about my shit

[jtl-fics]

Fluent Freshman - 41

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Two and a half hours into the Banquet and FF had not moved from the chair he had sat in at the start of the banquet. He hadn’t gotten up for water. Hadn’t gotten up to go to the bathroom. Hadn’t gotten up to dance despite Nicky’s pleading. He hadn’t even gotten up when a Raven had come over and asked him to.

He was not leaving his seat.

The stadium could be on fire and he’d still try to be the last one out.

Until there was a time where he could slide out of this chair without a single eye on him and put on his winter jacket without it seeming strange he was going to remain seated.

The answer on why was under his precisely placed napkin.

It had all begun about an hour and fifteen minutes ago, not that FF was counting. Dinner had been wrapping up and people had started to get up and jostle about. Flirtations were flying across the table and generally over FF’s head. The team had been smiling, there’d been laughter, and it had seemed unlikely for anything to go wrong.

He relaxed and that’s where he made a mistake.

FF could not eat the meal served. He’d had his liquid dinner on the way over on the bus so it didn’t bother him much to have a decent looking meal in front of him and not being able to eat it. He wasn’t going to eat so he hadn’t even unwrapped his cutlery, wanting to save the clean up crew from at least his set of utensils. He hadn’t placed the napkin over his lap to protect himself, what danger could there possibly be when he was not going to be eating?

The danger came when a Trojan smacked the table hard as he laughed at something that he had taken as a joke but, knowing Kevin, was probably a serious suggestion.

Hit the table hard enough to jostle FF’s plate.

Hit the table hard enough to jostle FF’s plate and more specifically a meatball that was with the pasta served with the beef tenderloin.

Hit the table hard enough to jostle FF’s plate and more specifically a meatball that was with the pasta served with the beef tenderloin so that it fell off of his plate and onto his lap.

Fell right onto his unprotected lap.

FF had looked down at his gray pants now irreversibly blemished by the errant meatball. His mind flashing back to when Nicky had decided on these pants. Remembers how Nicky hadn’t wanted him to vanish in the lower lighting of the banquet.

FF had grabbed his cutlery and put the napkin over his lap, far too late to save his pants, but fast enough that no one would see that he had spaghetti pants.

After that the trajectory of his evening had changed dramatically.

He was going to sit here all night until they were getting into the bus and then he’d have his winter jacket on and it was a long jacket that would cover his mark of shame. You might think that FF could just slip under the radar and go try and clean off the stain or at least hide somewhere less conspicuous.

He would, he really would, except he can feel the eyes of Captain Jeremy on him regardless of how low his presence is. FF entered into Ultra Stealth but Captain Jeremy merely turned to him and asked a friendly question that had Nicky startle remembering that FF was next to him still. 

Captain Jeremy has x-ray vision and can see the wall behind the wallpaper. Captain Jeremy can see colors that mantis shrimp can only dream of. Captain Jeremy is standing in some secret government office pointing on the radar as CIA and Military officials look on going “What are you talking about he’s right here?” with a smile.

Captain Jeremy was the kid that ate all the cheap fruit on a dessert table before he looked at the cake when he was a kid.

It’s the first time in his entire life that he’d been completely unable to slip below someone’s attention and if it were any other time he might feel good about that. Might enjoy the idea of being seen and having the attention of someone like Captain Jeremy on him.

Except FF has Spaghetti Pants.

FF cannot escape the man’s determination to ‘make it up’ to him after Aaron had let slip that FF had a restraining order against one of his brothers.

FF insisted that it was okay.

Captain Jeremy insisted on making sure he had a good time.

FF insisted that a good time for him would be to sit at this table all night by himself. He kept to himself that what would really make it would be for him to sit without anyone around to notice he had spaghetti pants.

Captain Jeremy seemed to think that it was due to the still healing stomach injury and insisted on at least keeping him company then, unaware of the unvoiced second part.

So Captain Jeremy of the USC Trojans had declared himself FF’s banquet buddy. A man that was friends or at least friendly with almost every single player here at the banquet.

He looks around the banquet and sees the various tense standoffs at the other tables. These were men and women who would find even the smallest thing and never let you forget it.

He doesn’t know what he’d do if they realize he had spaghetti pants.

How does one recover on the court when the person you’re up against can remember the cold December evening that you dumped a meatball on your pants? He can already hear the jeering nicknames.

He wants to sink into his seat but he’s afraid to shift at all, worried he’ll dislodge the napkin in some way and the newest person coming up to say ‘Hi’ to Jeremy Knox will notice the marinara stain on his pants.

While Jeremy was distracted he did try to wet Nicky’s disposed of napkin to perhaps clean himself off a bit except before he could a Raven came up to him, “Come with me.” a large Raven Backliner says, jerking his head towards the bathrooms.

“No thank you.” FF answers in return, “I don’t need to do that.” he says assuming that the Backliner had seen him shift in his seat and assume he needed to use the restroom.

The Raven Backliner stood for a few moments as if waiting for him to change his mind but then Captain Jeremy’s attention snapped back, “Can we help you with something?” Captain Jeremy asks and his friendly demeanor had vanished.

“I-” The Raven Backliner started to say before seemingly deciding that it wasn’t worth it and walked away.

Captain Jeremy and him continued to talk. They had somehow fallen onto the SAW movie franchise and FF could admit that he was surprised that the Trojan Captain had watched the series.

“You need to come with me.” A Raven Striker says coming up and interrupting the two of them as they talked about the ethics of SAW. FF believed that it was all well and good to learn to appreciate life but there had to be simpler ways to go about teaching that. Jeremy didn’t disagree, he just also thought that sometimes there were some people who Jigsaw never intended to redeem and those people may have deserved their fates.

FF tilts his head, “Do I?” he asks since it didn’t seem like the ERC had made any sort of announcement and she seems utterly and completely perplexed by his response.

The girl looks at him, looks over her shoulder, looks back at him, “Yes?” she responds sounding so unsure that even FF wouldn’t believe her.

“I don’t think he does.” Captain Jeremy interrupts gaze utterly cooled from the warm one he had been giving FF throughout their philosophical debate.

The Raven Striker looks cowed and FF almost feels bad for her but not bad enough to console her when he has spaghetti pants.

She leaves.

FF and Captain Jeremy’s conversation shifts to winter break plans. Captain Jeremy is going home to his family and he’s taking Jean Moreau with him. “I think my mom likes him more than she likes me sometimes.” Jeremy laughs heartily. “He deserves nice holidays though so I’m always happy to bring him up.” he says voice and features going soft as he looks to where Jean Moreau was standing with a raised eyebrow next to Andrew as Kevin and Neil were having some animated conversation.

FF talks about his own plans with the Foxes and how he’ll be spending the break with them. He thinks Captain Jeremy looks a little sad about that but whatever sadness there is Captain Jeremy moves past it quickly and starts to ask if he had plans to go anywhere specific in New York. He heartily recommends the LEGO store when FF says he’s never been.

“Someone important wishes to speak with you.” An Offensive Dealer from the Ravens says and he looks like he’s about to shake apart as he stands in front of them.

“Who?” He asks, tilting his head and sipping his water.

The Dealer looks at him.

“Is it that hard of a question to answer?” Captain Jeremy asks voice stern once again.

“He’s…Master is-” The Dealer goes paler and Smith can’t help but pull out his handkerchief from his front suit pocket as he sees the Dealer break out into a cold sweat.

“You don’t look well, maybe you should sit down?” he asks with his handkerchief extended in offer. The man looks at him and then the handkerchief and then takes it. “Thank you.” he says 

“Wow a handkerchief? My pocket square is just a fake one sewed in.” Captain Jeremy laughs jovial once again as the Raven took a seat shakily.

“It’s something my dad used to always say.” Smith thinks about the additional handkerchiefs in his pockets. “A gentleman always has a handkerchief on hand to help.” He pulls out a second one, “A real gentleman has two.” he adds and folds the new handkerchief into shape for the pocket square again.

Captain Jeremy laughs, “Sounds like a great guy! He must be happy you took his advice to heart.” he says and it doesn’t hurt that bad when Captain Jeremy is saying it since he’s saying something so nice.

“I hope so.” he agrees and doesn’t feel like ruining the mood.

Captain Jeremy turns his attention back onto the Raven who has taken a seat and his eyes soften on the Raven, “Wow you really are pale. Not a lot of sunlight in the Nest?” he asks.

The Dealer swallows, now visibly the most nervous person at the table which is saying something considering that FF is at the table.”I-I’m just pale naturally.” he denies.

“Sit and talk with us until you feel better.” Captain Jeremy insists, “What’s your name by the way?” he asks.

“Michael.” He answers awkwardly.

“Great, my name is Jeremy,” Captain Jeremy points at himself, “and this is Smith. So, have you ever been to New York City before?” he asks

Captain Jeremy, FF, and Michael chat at length about Michael’s New York pizza recommendations. Captain Jeremy asks about some of the places he has been in New York and the longer Michael is there chatting the more color comes to his face and the more vehement he becomes that Captain Jeremy managed to pick all the worst places by accident.

“You’re kidding me! It was 10 bucks a slice, it has to be good!” Captain Jeremy exclaims looking as if Michael was telling him Santa and the Easter Bunny weren’t real.

“If you’re paying more than $2.50 it’s a rip.” Michael insists passionately. “If it’s more expensive than the subway ticket then it’s a racket!” he slams his fist down at the table.

“You mean to tell me that I was lied to by that person I followed on Twitter?” Captain Jeremy asks, appalled.

“Swindled.” Michael insists.

“Christ, I’ve given that recommendation to so many people.” Captain Jeremy and while gesturing he puts his elbow in his own remaining spaghetti, “Oh shit.” he says. Smith looks at the black suit jacket and thinks about a future one step to the left where he had on black pants and a black suit jacket.

“I’m sure it’s good.” FF tries to comfort offering Jeremy his third handkerchief, this one from his left pocket since the one in his breast pocket was a specific color for the ‘look’ that Nicky had wanted. “It’s just not representative of a New York slice,” he adds.

“Thanks Smith.” Captain Jeremy takes the handkerchief wetting it with the glass of water nearby and wiping away the excess of marinara and spaghetti. “I’m going to go wash this off and try to dry it for you.” he says holding the handkerchief up.

“You don’t have to do that.” FF says but Jeremy is waving him off as he stands.

“Sit tight, I’ll be right back.” he says and heads off.

FF turns to Michael, “So I shouldn’t trust anything more than $2.50?” he asks.

Michael shakes his head and turns to look at FF, “Absolutely not.” he says with a smile before FF can see his eyes flick away and he stiffens. “Hey, it’s…” he looks down and the handkerchief, “it’s been nice chatting with you but… is there anyway we can take this conversation somewhere else?” he asks.

FF blinks, “No, I’m not getting up until the party is over.” Smith declines because by this point the stain has set. There is no stealthily cleaning it now that Captain Jeremy has left.

“So, you’ll get up once the banquet is over?” Michael asks leaning across the table and as he does that Smith can see a fairly ugly bruise on the Dealer’s forehead.

“I’ll have to won’t I?” he asks because despite the not-zero possibility that he’ll get left behind by the team again. His gaze shifts to Nicky who is leaning heavily against Matt as the two sway back and forth dancing and laughing. Probably about 50/50 at this point, depending on how quickly FF can make his way out of the stadium.

Michael looks at him and there’s something in his eyes that feels saddened, “Yeah, I guess that’s true.” he says before rising to his feet. “Thank you for this.” he says and hands the handkerchief back. FF can’t help but notice how there was a schmear of make-up on it.

The Dealer walks off and FF waves him off with the handkerchief before sliding it back into his right pocket, where he kept dirty handkerchiefs. He lets his eyes wander across the banquet. He sees Aaron and Katelyn slow dancing to a song that is not a slow dance. He sees Kevin and Jean now in the middle of a passionate conversation. Jack is pouting by the punch bowl with a few other Sophomores patting him on the back. Sheena is seemingly trying to flirt with the older bartender. Nicky and Matt have somehow only gotten sloppier in the 2 minutes between when he last looked at them and now. Captain Neil and Andrew are at the dessert table and he sees Andrew offering Captain Neil a chocolate covered strawberry. He sees a gaggle of his fellow freshmen huddled together all sipping their drinks nervously he moves to wave them over back to the table. Threat of the reveal of his spaghetti pants aside he’s not used to be alone anym-

“What the fuck did you just say?!” He hears behind him.

“I said what I said. She wasn’t even that hot! Get over it!” Another mocking voice.

“That’s it!” the sound of glass shattering and all hell breaks loose.

MASTERPOST FOR ALL PARTS OF FLUENT FRESHMAN AU

NEXT

#Fluent Freshman AU #AFTG #AFTG AU #AFTG OC #Jeremy 'sometimes people deserve the reverse bear trap' Knox is one of my fav flavors of Jeremy #Jeremy: “Haha I'm just a nice guy” #Also Jeremy upon seeing certain Ravens near Jean: “100% MAXIMUM NO CHILL!” #I will put in the tags here #That I know diddly and squat about New York Pizza #I googled what a slice costs today #and subtracted a bit to account fo inflation #MAN WHAT A DAY IT'S BEEN FOR ME #Banging out FF #Buying a Condo #Got to finally bring up the thing I decided on for Smith which is that he is a handkerchief guy #It's something my own dad believes #Thanks Tim for the goof #I appreciate all the handkerchiefs that were bleached to death during the indoor soccer years #Andrew and Neil are absolutely saying the most disgusting shit #Kevin and Jean are arguing because Jean has a tan and Kevin wants to make sure he put on enough sunscreen #Kevin: “I hope you're using protection.” #Jean: (spits out his drink) “PARDON?” #Kevin: “At least SPF 50.” #Jean: “I fucking hate you so much.” #Also Jean and Andrew having a little moment together as the exy idiots gush is in part from Madlad's lil comic #It made me laugh so hard I had to reference it here #Though Andrew's not going to ask for sloppy make outs from Jean #That's Jeremy's job.

[fujii-draws]

OKAY! Chatot rant in tags below! Read at your own discretion.

#okay starting from the beginning of where ppl usually dislike him. apple woods chapter. #he doesn’t give hero/partner the CHANCE to explain themselves despite them being relatively good recruits up until that point. #and that legit might be my only gripe with that chapter bc!!! stories need conflict! I LIKE the conflict in apple woods!!! #hero and partner being punished so something they didn’t do! #the misunderstanding! how team skull (Skuntank) actually outplays the main duo with a clever yet rotten trick. I LOVE that it segways into- #one of the more sweeter scenes of guild members looking out for eachother. I LIKE APPLE WOODS CONFLICT. #but chatot just. not giving them a chance. is so dumb. #I’d personally fix this by having a lil montage of hero/partner fucking up on jobs. A LOT. and chatot giving them a pass every time. #and let the perfect apple incident BE the one where he puts his foot down and doesn’t listen to them. bc he’d given them loads of chances. #and doesn’t want to hear any excuse. #but yeah. I legit dont mind him during that chapter except for that really stupid and frustrating moment. #NOW. CHAPTER 17. #UGGGGHHH WHERE DO I BEGIN #Him not believing hero and Partner about Grovyle and the future being in ruin? FINE. ACTUALLY GOOD. BC CHATOT WOULD BE SKEPTIC. #IT FITS HIS CHARACTER!! #BUT WHAT DOES SUCK. IS HIM GOING ‘Dusknoir isn’t the bad guy. he didn’t do anything wrong’ #WHEN HE LITERALLY KIDNAPPED HERO AND PARTNER RIGHT I N F R O N T OF HIM. #(​NO LITERALLY. HIS CHARACTER IS IN THE FRONT ROW WHEN IT HAPPENED.) #and him. having the GALL to tell hero and partner they must’ve been ‘seeing things’ and downplaying the HELL they went through. #despite them being missing for hours/days. his own guild recruits. and his angry sprite showing up. #like. I think that’s when I genuinely despised him. #that and him going ‘OH I BELIEVED YOU THE WHOLE TIME HEEHOO :)’ shit was so fucking annoying. #just playing it off as a joke the second the guild started to believe hero and partner. #IMAGINE IF HE W A S ACTUALLY TESTING THE GUILD’S TRUST. SHOWCASING HIM AS THE MORE RESPONSIBLE AND RESPECTFUL RIGHT HAND OF THE GUILD. #and yes. Brine cave he saves hero and partner. but at that point I just didn’t care anymore. #he fucked those two over so much. that I didn’t care what ‘valiant’ sacrifice he had. #and he grills Team Skull for what they did OFF SCREEN. they couldn’t even give us THAT. #<<< THAT or him outright saying sorry would’ve been nice. IKIK his ‘actions’ or whatever but. #eughh again this is all imo. I’m not trying to make people hate him or change their mind. #I’ll get into positives in the second post cause I’m running out of tags

[adriles]

My Deep Desire To Be Remembered For My Honor And Sick Fighting Skills And My All Consuming Rage Brought On By Grief Have Collided In A Horrible Fire Ball

#one thing about me #is ill read a good iliad analysis on here and say #so true bestie #now to post on my silly goofy shitty achilles account #like the one thing people with genuinely nice iliad opinions would want to hear is #u inspire the stupidest shit on here xoxox #girl it isnt!! #im just stupid on here after reading good analysis for no reason #anyways #book 18 #greatest hits

[esaari]

honk

#idk if this fandom is alive anymore but here's burnt toast man #shall i tag this shit.......... sure lets tag this shit #payday 2 #payday #hoxton #was thinkin about how therell be another one of these games and felt the sudden urge to draw the fave again #payday tumblr sure was fun to be part of back in the day #anyways i'm off to bed... been insanely tired today and hopefully i'll get to some of the art on my to do list #tomorrow i meant to say. hope to get to it tomorrow lol #i have some nice ones there. though. mostly ones i won't be able to post here lmfao #maybe throw in oc with pride flag thing on this list so i'll have sth posting worthy. #in a non related note at the end here i just finished playing tlou on the pc and it was so much fun... never did finish it on the console #just watched others play through it #i smell an AU but i'll keep that to myself because whomst cares #honk honk good night

[theswedishpajas]

💙🌌💀🌌💙

#my art stuff #digital art #undertale #sans #human #humanization #gajinka #finally drew a human sans I’m happy with without copying someone else’s #I wanna do mars as well soon but I’m still figuring out how to deal with the sharp features #I can’t believe I forgot to post this the other day #I should draw a papyrus soon #I am gonna be completely honest and say that I’m terrified of drawing people of colour because I don’t know many personally #and looking things up can only take you so far. especially with mixxed info everywhere #and I’m prolly the most “woke” person in my family and I have a racist dad so it’s not like anyone of them would know any better #I just drew some hair that looked nice to me and picked a skintone that looked nice and gave him hazel eyes literally just cus I think they #’re pretty (and heterochromia on top of that but that’s just a sans vibe) #I know nothing about textured hair care so I couldn’t pic a style based on ease or anything etc etc #so if anybody has any thoughts on how to improve him. I’d love to hear feedback on it #I am literally the most white cracker you can find with straight blonde hair and blue eyes and all that shit so I know NOTHING about #anything else and I want to learn more from other perspectives in general #I know I could and maybe should have just kept this post as-is without adding all my hyper-worry (which really isn’t helping anybody) #but this is very outside of my comfort zone for character design and I’m terrified of designing anything without some kind of experience #TL;DR if this sucks in some way from a cultural standpoint please let me know #and… I shouldn’t apologize for the long ramble cus it’s my own post etc etc but I still want to apologize #and thank you. people often don’t read tags especially when they go on like mine do

[dootznbootz]

Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".

They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)

I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅

Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂

#I wrote this last night. I'll do the asks I got later. don't worry! :D #I am the cheese god remember?😅 #I think these two would try to “out-cheese” each other and whoever is left speechless first loses #“I would forget my own name before I would ever forget you” bullshit. CHEESY #And yes. “I sleep in our nest with you or outside on the dirt” stupidity >:D #I plan for Odysseus as a beggar to ask why she waits so long. As he's been gone a longer amount of time than the time they had together #(Simply asking as reassurance. He knows his answer. Calypso asked him. but what about Penelope?) but she gets mad at the #“Beggar” and pities him as he must be telling the truth about having a miserable life if he never got the chance to know such devotion #How what they have could never be sullied by #something as trivial as distance and years. How the years with him were the best in her life. Only made better by their son. #'My dear Joy made songs and poems about love a reality as that was simply the life we shared. Even separated our 'song' will always echo #no matter how long it's been. I'LL make sure it always does. And I know he's doing the same... That strange man used to say that #even if he died his corpse would drag itself back to us before he'd ever give up.' #...I'm not one for 'odyssey zombie au' but when I first heard it yeah. :'D Came up with this back then #“His eyes as hard as flint or horn-” Bullshit! The sad lil fuck is hiding sobs with coughs and telling her to keep away for fear of her #catching whatever “illness” he has. The nice thing about being disguised as old means sickly old man works. #... #I'm noticing that Odysseus has a lot of silly oneliners while I write Penelope with a shit ton of set up :'D #They are so silly and I love them so much #...I wrote a lot :'D #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #my headcanons #odypen #yahoo!!! #sometimes I wonder if I should tag this with more things but I don't want to taint the regular tags with my bullshit :'D I KNOW I'm insane

[puppyeared]

Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..

#I’m reading volumes 14-16 of the ouran manga OOUGHHH MY HEART #I love this weird little friend group so much its unreal #like u have this charming sweeps you off your feet prince but he’s actually a huge lovable idiot with a kind heart and his friends #who are all misfits that he reached out to and drew in because of his kindness and own weirdness like that shits TIGHT BRO #and the trauma part where he has some deep seated issues with love bc he thinks that itll break a family apart like with his mom #how his family isnt allowed to be together because his mom and dad fell in love and how he says he wants to build a big house #so that way one day everyone will get along as a family like. all he wants is not to lose everyone and the only way to do that is #by maintaining a certain order.. he both wants a complete family so bad and doesnt want anything to sour between anyone #so he assigns each of his friends a family role based on how he sees them and YEAH its mostly played for giggles and tamakis #already weird so its his way of showing theyre close to him but. god damn this boy has LAYERS #it also feels kinda meta towards how found family tends to get thrown around to assign characters as 'siblings' or family roles instead of #using it to describe characters who are close enough to be each others family. cuz tamakis doing that EXACT THING in a way tht #ties in with his character and i have to say its fascinating using that within the story itself and its completely plausible #theres a lot of things i can say about ouran that are good bad and questionable but. god i love it when characters are niceys to each other #i remember i really liked the kyoya episode bc him and haruhi got to spend time together and their relationship isnt very close #but it was really nice to see their personalities bounce off each other. i think i also wouldve liked to see haruhi alone with kaoru #i also firmly believe all of the hosts are at least a little in love with haruhi and this can be anything like endearing romantic cuz like #who DOESNT love haruhi. kyoya i think would want to study her under a microscope like his fascination with her draws him in #but im fucking obsessed with whatever haruhi and tamaki have going on because YES hes obsessed with her YES he jumps at the chance to #put her in a cute costume but haruhi? she just fucking goes with it because she knows hes fun to be around even if hes a little wacky abt i #theyre all so. NNGGHHHH #ouran #ohshc #yapping

[butchhansolo]

in-universe "logistics" aside, i think it's good that echo has the permanent scomp arm instead of a hand for like. real-world representation reasons.

in star wars sure they have fully articulated replacement prosthetics but we very much don't have that in real life, and i feel like echo with the scomp is good rep for that. he's one of the most competent characters and i think it's good to show that he can do All That as he is, especially with how irl people with only one hand usually are very capable, even more if they've been living with it for a long time, and very rarely do we see that in media.

like, mark hamill once said he talked to a kid for a make a wish thing who was about to have his arm amputated, and the kid said that he wasn't worried because luke did it too. i think that's important

#tbb #echo #.txt #the bad batch #arc trooper echo #SORRY MUTUALS this has been on my mind since i saw some people being really weird/Actually Ableist about it on twitter back in january and #that post going around just reminded me of it #NOT THAT OP WAS SAYING ANYTHING PARTICULARLY BAD bc like yeah utilitarially a multitool type arm could probably be useful #just imo its nice to have real world rep #also im still taking psychic damage from some of the twitter shit it was like how echo would ''have relief at having a proper hand'' or sth #like um. thats not very ummmm.... thats not really a good thing to say-- #with regards to like. a lot of people with limb differences dont feel any particular desire to have a standard limb and a replacement #isnt necessarily the best for everyone or what everyone wants #and acting like all people who dont have standard are all suffering and sad about it is demeaning and patronizing #twitter users when theyve never read about people with limb differences from those people's perspectives #twitter users when theyve never heard of the Lucky Fin Project #sorry for going off agh prosthetics are what i plan on studying & specializing in so i read a lot about this stuff

[sparring-spirals]

so like, Taliesin saying "Ashton has never had anything good happen to them before now".

Ashton, getting out of the contract and almost unable to believe it.

Ashton, consistently mentioning that he shouldn't trust others, implying at how it's led him astray before.

Ashton, shattered on the floor, world swimming in and out, hearing their crew, their friends, their family- hissing "He's dead, just leave him."

(Just leave him. Just leave him. Smashed on the floor clutching some stupid trophy, some potion that probably wasn't worth it. He's dead. Just leave him.)

(But also. Milo, hovering above him, after hours of work and white knuckled fear and hoping and praying for a miracle. Smiling as their face swims into focus.)

(But also. Imogen, and F.C.G, casting calm emotions- I don't want him to experience this trauma again.)

(But also. This group, this new group, standing next to Ashton and a destroyed wall, clustered around, asking what they want to do, what steps does Ashton want to take next?)

(Must be nice. Must be so nice that it is deeply, gut wrenchingly terrifying.)

#aaaaaaaaa #critical role #cr spoilers #c3e22 #ashton #character meta #ashton meta #my meta #speculation #i dont know if theres a concrete takeaway here other than me thinking about ashton being so used to shit going wrong #and how much more horrifying that makes the specks of kindness and good things thst happen #anyway i would say give them a hug but i dont think theyd want and also it would probably make them MORE concerned #someone buy that genasi a nice sandwich and disguise it as needing them to be well fed

[3-aem]

thinking about my exit interview that was super informal but at one point i was like okay i will say something positive about the team and my ex manager was like okay

and then we both sat there in silence for a solid minute

#me:…theyre nice people! #my ex manager with suspicious eyes: #delete later #i wanted to try out my buildings laundry machines today #bc i was tired of using the portable one in my apartment #its big and clunky and breaks my tap everytime i do laundry #and i dont have a dryer so massive pain #but it cost me $5.5 and so i will continue doing it in my apartment ❤️ #tbf it wasnt even really an interview i just had to return my shit and was like hey do u wanna hear the tea and gossip #and he was like pulling out a notebook like yea #and then i went off for an hour #hes not a retaliatory dude so it was fine if anything im sure he just took the notes and then went off to figure out solutions or whatever #now i feel like i snitched #i didnt say names but he just kept figuring it out #i was like ppl dont like how ppl drop documentation in code reviews #and he was like is this about gordon and his use effect document #and i was like……………..*speechless* #and then i was like some ppl thing the environment has gotten a tad competitive #and he was like is that from henry #*SPEECHLESS*

[hamartia-grander]

so my general paranoia has always been pretty bad (hi ocd) but I thought it was more manageable the past few years as I've matured and gotten better at catching myself before I spiral, but recently (as in the past three weeks or so) it's been so bad that I do things impulsively as I'm spiralling without even realising it and it's been negatively affecting the way I perceive how friends think of me which I do NOT want to start happening again because that sucked. Idk why it's happening but I'd be grateful for any advice idrk what else to say about it.

#But anyways if you catch me acting really strange (more than usual) #or saying/doing things that seem overly docile or apologetic it's just another spiral don't worry about it #I genuinely don't know why it's gotten so much worse like I didn't change my meds I didn't change my diet I didn't change my habits #nothing crazy happened #I just have no idea #forcing myself to be vulnerable to my friends because I need help and it's about time I let people know that #affirmations certainly help but I feel so so bad asking for them like 'ohh I'm just fishing for compliments' or 'ohh I need someone to say #smthn nice every 6 seconds or I die' or 'ohhh I'm being so dramatic wahh' you know how it is #I at first thought it was just one or two occasions but no it's happened repeatedly consistently with ALL of my friends #and even coworkers and professors #I need to get out of my head I apologise to everyone who's ever had to deal with me spiralling #I promise I don't say the shit I do because I want you to feel bad for me I just genuinely in the moment am thinking that way #I know it's bad and after it's over I feel awful about it but idk what to do

[samarecharm]

My younger sister is playing the base p5

#chattin #i walked into the livingroom and saw the opening and nearly screamed #she said its bc she saw me play strikers and got curious #im so shocked; she would NOT have been able to play this game like 4 years ago #shes like. not very good on story heavy games. its too boring for her #but shes been watching a streamer play bg3 #and shes invested in the plot. and shes like huh! these ARE fun and engaging! #and she heard me and my mom talk about my moms dwindling attention span w Stories that arent spoonfed to her #so shes ALSO trying new games #i dunno. just very happy :) i get to see ryuji again! #shes been fun to watch. not to be that person but shes autistic (so am i) and very loud and excitable about plot twists n stuff #shes SO into it. also her first comment on ryuji was ‘thats me! i did the same thing w my suspenders :)’ so she liked him immediately LOL #the grind is also something nice for her bc she gets to watch her stream inbetween battles #i will say; the juggling of social stuff and shopping and fighting is ALOT for her. she left the palace to re up on magic #and she forgot to do ANYTHING; no weapons bought; no acessories or protectors; no items; no hangouts #and when i came back from my room (i noticed she had full magic) i asked if she did all that and she was like. shit. #she has to learn the hard way unfortunately #she is insistent on using all her magic; and so when she gets caught w strong enemies WITHOUT it shes like. uhoh. lunge it is. #shell learn

[embras-grace]

It's time to rant about my human in Palia: Ori Tian

He is awful and I love him. You can learn more about my human under the cut! This information is not spoiler free as his character changes over time as we learn more about the world.

Ori Tian || He/Him They/Them || 29-30 || The Watcher

Ori's history makes more sense with a few key points (some of which are spoilers you learn when talking to folks/exploring the world):

Kilima was built on the ruins of an ancient human school (I think of it as a university)

The ruins were where humans were forced to go by the human king (the Fire Temple lore) where it seems they were getting more and more ridiculous orders. I consider this to be when humanity's downfall was fast approaching.

The disaster that killed the humans was not just Flow (which I see as a global warming metaphor) but also an attack from Shadow Creatures (the Library you unlock with Jina).

The human downfall took hundreds if not thousands of years until they finally died out. They didn't go out with a bang, but with a painful whimper.

All humans have innate magical abilities. Some humans spend their whole lives learning how to tap into them, others are born with a close connection.

--

Human Life

Ori was a professor at the university and the dean of the humanities department which happened to be part of the school's administration. Their specialty was ethics and mortality, especially when it came to magic and Flow. They helped students organize various clubs and organizations inside the school, as well as supporting them during walk-outs or demonstrations against the king for trying to force people into "safety areas" to "wait out the danger" instead of facing the problem head on and cleaning up the mess humans had made that was destroying their world.

To students, Ori was known as the laid-back professor who was easy to talk to, but who wasn't afraid to talk back and be firm when needed. His tests were hell on earth but his classes were fun to those interested in a good-natured debate of philosophical principles and theories. He took it easy, but he took it.

To fellow professors and adults, Ori was a belligerent and sometimes down-right rude person. He had no problem calling people out for acting immature or acting ridiculous given certain circumstance (despite being hypocritical at times as a very hyper person themselves). The amount of fist-fights Ori has gotten into in university board meetings was too many too count.

He was outspoken against the king and didn't bother to hide his politics, which put them in a lot of danger. But Ori had one special thing that kept them safe from a great majority of threats: magic.

Ori was born with a natural affinity for fire magic and his anger could become explosive (literally). His flames were hot enough to melt iron and--when incredibly agitated--he could make anything he touched spontaneously combust. Yet this natural affinity came with a strict control he tried to keep tamped down... except when he couldn't in arguments. Fire brimming at the edges of his clothes (they never really caught on fire--clothes are expensive!) and his hair becoming bright flames. It's no wonder he was considered one of Embra's chosen.

On top of being a professor, a dean, and an activist Ori also managed the Phoenix Shrine. He was the primary caretaker, although he was as close to secular as someone could get in Palia. Is Embra real? Yes. Is she a goddess? Sure, why not. Does that mean you can't argue with her and have to accept everything she says or does? No fucking way!!! Ori is whatever the equivalent of a Jew is in Palia and he is very proud of his heritage, traditions, and beliefs.

His best friend was a kitsuu who followed him around the university and joined him on a lot of his routines for the temple. They could never be separated, his friend bringing him gifts from the natural world and Ori returning the favor with food and shiny things. His other close friend was Einar--who remembers Ori and what Ori did when he died.

Ori's death happened when the Shadow Creatures attacked the school. Many had already been moved to the temples, but Ori had stayed outside to protect the students that didn't want to go yet. When the evacuation order came to get everyone to safety, Ori was left at what is now known as the Mirror Pond Ruins.

When the last students were fleeing into the library--unable to get to the Water Ruins, Ori stood as the last guard to buy them time to lock the door. His magic was always explosive and he gave the Shadow Creatures the best show he could: he immolated himself in a massive explosion to protect the students he swore to protect. Taking out any Shadow Creatures in the nearby vicinity.

The only thing left behind was a pendant.

--

Kilima Life

Ori doesn't remember anything after being reincarnated. At first when he woke up Jina had to walk him through a lot of things, but slowly some stuff started coming back to him. His traditions, his knowledge of what he once studied, his love of researching, his hatred of authoritarian governments and anyone that bans or burns books, and intolerance for adults acting like immature brats.

He's slowly remembering some recipes he used to cook (thanks to Reth's help), other human languages he learned, more about life for humans, but a lot of it is very fuzzy and comes back slowly.

Still, though, he doesn't recognize the kitsuu who had great fun trying to get his attention with the help of Tau and can't comprehend why they keep little him little presents every day... and he doesn't remember his old friend Einar. Maybe it'll come back eventually, but there is one thing he is starting to remember...

Magic.

And he won't let the Order take it from him.

#palia #palia oc #palia player character #I love my fantastic asshole of a pc #he's a nice guy with a kind heart #but he doesn't put up with shit #he's already had a massive argument then Kenyatta for being a constant child about her mother #and potentially ruining Jel's chances to impress his mom for a childish vendetta #he has no patience for it #if it came from Auni or Najuma then fine but someone who says they are an adult but act likes a bratty child? #No 1000% not #he still likes her but he sees her as like a student of his #and that she has some things to learn #but in the other hand him dismissing her problems with her mother isn't cool of him #he does have some severe PTSD from his death too #he doesn't know why he panics sometimes or has nightmares or flashbacks to fire everywhere but #one day he'll remember #till then Reth Jel and Hodari are there to help him #Einar is patient knowing one day they're friend will remember them

[cinnamon-phrog]

I feel too sick to sleep right now, everything's' too cold or too hot and I can't even breathe without thinking I'm gonna throw up

#it's because i've been drinking diluted juice #i swear the shit they put in that makes me delirious with fever #ughhhh so sick wish a nice big strong mechanoid could help me rn :( real shame #gonna drink water till the middle of the night. there goes my plans for a better nights' sleep :< #i do genuinely feel awful and i have been feeling so for a while and it's all my own doing. not eating healthy. stressing out and barely- #-sleeping. i have stretch marks from losing weight and circles under my eyes. everything's fuzzy. i keep forgetting basic things. #i'm worried about my future. i'm too disabled to function with a job but not disabled 'enough' just because i can speak 'clearly' #i've got no irl friends or family to fall back on. i can only travel so far and i get meltdowns far easier now #months ago i was treated like a pet. now i'm an adult before i ever got to be a child. #i want to be held. be loved without even having to say a word to each other. not even by an f//o but by someone who'll be willing to love m #but all i am now is sick and hungry and hot and cold and tired and awake. #i can't imagine how much worse it is for other people though. i've seen awful images and they're not even a taste of how terrible it is #i worry i won't be able to afford food in the future. or have a stable flat or apartment. that social services will let me down again #this year was meant to be a break but i'm constantly worrying about the time i become 18. my autism and lack of any social life- #will impact me and i'll be fucked over easier than ever. and that happens often #college brought me panic attacks where i'd physically harm myself till i got migraines in front of people and they didn't bat an eye #i could be kicking and screaming and begging for help but they'll just ignore me or infantilise me

[spitblaze]

in the time honored tradition of stupid leftist infighting i feel like i need to remind some of you that 'artists are not allowed to claim ownership of their work' is for sure not the take you think it is

#spitblaze says things #'ip isnt real its made up by capitalists' okay great am i still entitled to the fruits of my labor. can i still have that. #or is that too close to ip law for your liking #it would be NICE if we lived in a world where we didnt have to worry about shit like that #but unfortunately we live in a world full of opportunistic capitalist ghouls who will do shit like patent shark #and not only steal someone's work but turn around and legally bar the creator from doing anything with it again #im not saying ip law is great. it sucks. but its important for an artist to retain the rights to their body of work

[todayisafridaynight]

i cant explain it but daigo being subtitled to just be like 'you're making me look like i have no balls' feels so illegal and wrong. hilarious but something's off

#snap chats #WAIT I HAVE TO INTERRUPT THIS POST WITH THE FUNNIEST SHIT #SO I WAS GETTING FOOD FROM MY SCHOOL'S DINING HALL AND YOU CAN WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU WANT ON A SHEET YEAH #AND I SAID I WANTED A SAMMY AND FRIES OK BUT WHEN I GET MY PLATE ITS JUST FRIES #AND YK W/E OK I'LL JUST EAT THAT BUT THEN. WHILE IM LIKE. GETTING PIZZA TO SUB IT YEAH #I HEAR THE COOKS BE LIKE 'yoo why do we just have a sandwich here' AND THE BIN IT #AND I WAS LIKE 'was that a chicken sandwich cause uhhh <:)' AND THE WOMAN WAS JUST ':OOO IM SO SORRY' #LIKE DAWG /IM/ SRRY I FEEL BADLKAJLJ but yeah. they were nice enough to make me another one 😭 #ok. back on topic with this fuckin post SORRY. i just have all these potatoes and a pizza to eat with this sadnwich now #i didnt eat breakfast or lunch so its ok. moving on #watch me explain it lol. i think its just cause its hard fr me to imagine daigo even saying balls like that. in jp or english #like he just doesnt have the Oomph to do it like the kansai bitches #see this how i know jo from kansai.... that easy as balls to imagine... #LIKEIM TELLING YOU THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN SAY BALLS AND MEAN IT ARE KANSAI/EAST COAST BITCHES #in regards to eng its the accent... you just put a heavy mphasis on the b yk... any east coast bitches know what im talkin bout #or am i insane.it could be both idk #its cause in context he looks so meek like no !!!!! you dont be shy about balls talk !!!!!!! #I JUST IMAGINE HIM SAYING IT SO POLITE LIKE NO !!!! YOU HAVE TO SAY IT WITH FEELING. WITH YOUR BALLS #anyway daigo bb ily and i care for you but youre not hard enough to say balls #which is the most insaane thing i could say considering Daigo And His History but yk... im right...