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darth-mendax · 3 years

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Mendax and the Wolffe: One-shot Fic

A/N: Yes, I made this a while ago, yes it’s dirty, and yes I did it for my enjoyment. I am sorry for making this.

WARNING: It’s a dirty fic, man. You know what you gotta watch for. Stay safe bois. Also, the clones are being nasty lil boys, especially Wolffe being feral

Word Count: 5k-ish

Pairing: Darth Mendax x Commander Wolffe, OC x Wolffe

Ahsoka, Maul and his new, previously Jedi love Eli, weren’t resting on the random forest planet when evening was approaching. Eli had decided to try and save a few new clones from the wrath of this new Empire born from Sidious. Cody was their first target, and were going to supposedly deliver him to Kenobi. I felt it wasn’t wise to bring Maul on that adventure, but Eli argued against my opinion. Wherever Eli went, Maul followed. Now, I was stuck sitting near a growing campfire and surrounded by a couple clones and their downed ships acting more as shelter. I’d only learned their names when we first got here a few days ago.

The clones were relatively easy to tell apart, thank the Maker. The only blonde there was Rex, formerly Captain of the 501st. He had a blonde buzzcut, a clean shave but stubble was close to growing in, and his legs looked like they could kick her head clean off.

Next was a brash clone of the 501st named Fives, easy to pick out from the tattoo of the number five on his temple. He had short hair like Rex, only he had black hair, as well and a goatee like beard. He’d been injured badly, but he was healing relatively fast.

Jesse was next, almost like a child of the 501st group (based on personality). He was playfully flirty to me at times, but overall, was like sunshine after rain. He had a large tattoo of the previous Galactic Republic on his bald head, and a 5 o'clock shadow. Like Fives, he was injured badly but was healing.

Gregor, one of the few who survived relatively unscathed and a republic commando, was a bit shorter than his brothers. He had longer black hair that was neatly styled, and stubble growing in like Jesse. Rumor had it that his hair was much longer once. He was built like a boulder though, with large shoulders and seeming a bit thicker in build than his other brothers. His gentle nature contrasted his look greatly.

Kix was probably the most average looking of all the clones, and their medic. Once in cryo after some mystery mission, got rescued by pirates a good while ago, now helping the injured that survived the Order. He had a short sort of haircut with black hair, and friendly brown eyes like the rest of his brothers. Only, his eyes seemed to be able to comfort anyone and managed to speak in the calmest voices possible.

Echo had a messy sort of story, and his appearance made that possible. His skin was slightly lighter than the deep tan of his brothers, and he had darkened eye sockets, like he was constantly sick (though he was perfectly healthy). Multiple scars could be seen on his head in a particular pattern, and black hair was coming in like the crew cuts of Rex and Fives. He had a handprint on his armor, which made him stand out. He was also practically stuck by Fives’ side at all times, including around the campfire.

The last one was Wolffe, the one clone I knew before the mess Order 66 had caused. He was very different from his brothers. He had a pink scar going over right eye, and in the eye socket was a white cybernetic eye (it made him almost seem like he was blind on that side). He had short black hair like many of his brothers there, but it looked most similar to Kix. He was probably the tallest, even if it was by little over an inch. He had a stubble shadow, like Jesse and Gregor. Like the wolves on Lothal, he was built to fight and it showed. His biceps were certainly the second largest, outranked by Gregor, and thighs able to crush skulls (if he wanted). Without his top half of armor on and relaxing in his blacks, there was the clear outline of abs on his waist. I wasn’t sure I picked that detail up. He nearly killed me when I first arrived with Maul, Eli, and Ahsoka. My eyes remained focused on the fire in front of me, memories flooding my brain.

It was done, the Order initiated and finished in only what seemed like an hour. My clothes were dirtied by dust and almost ratty. Maul was in his usual sith robe attire, minus the usual cloak that hid away his features. We were sitting at a small table in what was like a casual living room. Eli and Ahsoka were whispering to each other nearby, wiping away a few stray tears. This Order had killed many of their friends, and clones alike. Families were shattered and Sidious was to blame, me and Maul knew that for sure. Ahsoka nodded to Eli, and then walked up to the bridge of the ship. Eli fixed her neutral colored Jedi robes and turned to Maul.

“Lucky for us, our ship is arriving at the safety rendezvous soon. I’d be wary of a few clones, they may think you’re against them so. . . don’t act too aggressive.” Maul leaned on the heel of his hand and gave an expression similar to someone raising an eyebrow. “Eli my dear, I’m constantly fueled by anger, driven by spite and revenge for years. Being aggressive is my personality.” I didn’t care to speak or include themselves in conversation. I simply hid in the hood of my Sith robe and remained silent. Eli turned to me, “Hey Mendax, there’s one guy who you’ll know once we arrive. Though I’m not sure he’d be the most happy to see you. Not the biggest fan of Sith still.”

“Don’t humor me. I’m not looking to make friends.”

Eli scoffed, then rolled their eyes. “Alright, fine, sit and brood. But you better not say anything that will make you end up with blaster holes.” I chuckled, then looked Eli in the eye, “If that were to happen, I’d consider it a mercy.” The Jedi turned away and went to join Ahsoka Tano on the bridge. Maul sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“I know you’re still hurting, I can sense it. . .”

“I just don’t understand. . . It feels cruel to live. To live in such darkness as overpowering as this. All the death he brought, to us, to the Jedi-”

“I know that’s not the real reason you’re upset, Mendax. . . Savage would want you to live on. He loved you, so dearly.” I was silent, then leaned on Maul’s shoulder. Maul slowly placed a gloved hand on my head. He wasn’t one to regularly give comforting touch, but this. . . this was nice.

“Things will change now, and we’ll move past Sidious’ plans.”

When we were introduced, almost all the clones had aimed their guns at us. Wolffe seemed a bit hesitant to aim at me though, instead aiming at Maul. A few good sassy remarks were thrown, but we all agreed no more killing was needed. Wolffe still kept a close eye on me as days went on, however.

Jesse’s laughter tore me from my thoughts and into his conversation. All of the clones seemed happy, or amused. I glared at them and asked, “What’s so funny, boys?”

“Oh, nothing Mendax. We’re comparing body count and the comments made about us.” Body count? Was this a sick count of all the enemies killed? Fives made an impression of what sounded like a moan, then said, “Oh Fives, you know just how to please me!”

“No way! There’s no way you can please a woman with as rough as a hand like yours!” Nope, definitely not an enemy body count.

My face felt a little hot once I’d realized. I guess I should’ve known that soldiers like clones had needs. They weren’t Jedi so sexual acts were more. . . allowed? Wolffe was the only one who wasn’t talking about who fucked the best or how many men or women they spent a night of pleasure with. Feeling a little bothered plus warmed by the fire, I removed the cloak from around my body.

Fives was the first to try and get Wolffe to join in. “Hey, Wolffe! What’s your body count, hmm? I bet it’s a high one, what with the ‘rugged charm’ I’ve heard some women say about you.”

Wolffe grunted, taking a drink from a small cup he held in one of his hands. Fives went on, “Grunting is not usually an acceptable answer to a question, Wolffe.”

“It is now,” Wolffe replied, eyes landing on me as I sat across from him by the firepit. His gaze seemed to soften, and then he went back to staring at the contents in his cup. Fives decided not to push further, but rather turn to me. “And what about you, Mendax? Did the great Sith lord ever get any love?~”

“As much as I admire the Sith and their passions, we never really see many who use passion in a sense that they fight for someone. Most use passion more as ambition, seeking power and their way.”

“I asked if you had a boyfriend once, not your philosophies,” Fives said, rolling his eyes. I scoffed, and glared at him, “No, does that satisfy your curiosity? I had no one. All I had was Maul to oversee my progress and Savage to. . . to make me feel less lonely.”

“Define less lonely. . .”

Jesse shoved Fives, “Shut up. She’s obviously never had a boyfriend.” Wolffe turned his gaze to me again; I couldn’t tell what emotion was behind his eyes. A few of the brothers muttered to each other, then turned to Wolffe. He caught on to the staring and sneered, “What?”

“So are you going to tell her, or. . .?” Wolffe gave a low growl at Kix. He practically barked at him, “Know your place, soldier. And stop your insane claims.” Kix held his arms up in surrender, and smiled, “Just saying, Commander.” Rex rolled his eyes, then lightly shook his head. Clearly, the captain was getting just as annoyed as Wolffe was at his men. I couldn’t really blame him. Darkness was swallowing the forest around us; Rex added more logs to keep the fire burning.

“So, what’s the sleeping situation, boys? Since the generals and Maul are gone?” Gregor had asked, his meek voice coming through with the brief silence. Echo wrapped an arm around his shoulders, “I already figured it out for you.” He pointed at one of the ships, the largest one of them all. “That one will hold me, Fives, and Rex,” he said. Echo then pointed to the smaller ship next to it, saying, “That one there will be for you, Jesse, and Kix.” The smallest ship there was a simple cruiser, but good enough for a few people to live on, and it was the one Echo pointed to next. “That ship there is where Wolffe and Mendax will be,” he concluded. Rex started to snicker to himself, and tried to cover it with one of his gloved hands. “Something funny, Captain?” Wolffe asked. Rex replied, “No no, it’s nothing. Just laughing at the arrangements.”

“And why is that?”

“You’ll have a ship alone with Mendax. And I don’t want to ruin the moment for the two virgins.”

Wolffe growled loudly at Rex’s comment, clenching the cup tightly in his hand. His voice lowered dangerously low, “How about you shut it, Captain? I’m sure you men would hate to see their leader suddenly get a black eye and busted lip.” Rex squinted at Wolffe, “You think your strength could save you there? You believe that you can take on the Captain of the 501st in a fist fight?”

“Oh, I know it would. My squadron regularly fights in the dirt, so what makes you think this will end with you winning against me.” The two brothers got up and stood in front of each other, Wolffe glaring slightly down at Rex and teeth bared. Rex seemed relatively calm, but a sneer was forming on his features. “How about you prove it, Commander?” Rex challenged. Wolffe stiffened and clenched his fists tight. The two of them raised their fits, ready to fight then and there. Hearing enough banter, I got up and decided to stop the impending fight.

“SILENCE! If you keep bickering, I’ll give you all a good reason to shut up!” The flames of the fire flared, and burned bright for a few moments. Silence followed my shout, besides the cracking of the firewood.

All the clones looked at me in shock, Jesse’s, Kix’s and Fives’ faces all slowly turned to smiles as they looked at Wolffe. He was staring at me, eyes wide and blinking as if he was processing what had happened. I could only imagine that my eyes changed, a little side effect of being Sith. If I was angry enough, they looked just like Maul’s. Rex sat down next to his men, “Sorry Sir.” I huffed, calming down and rubbing the back of my neck. Wolffe made a rumbly noise in the back of his throat, before stomping off. Gregor called out to him, “Where are you going, Wolffe?!”

“To relax! And hit the refresher!” The rest of the clones made attempts to bring Wolffe back, but it was in vain. He’d already entered the ship, and disappeared from view. I sat back down by the fire, hearing the clones burst into some sort of shanty, and had their arms around each other’s shoulders. It was touching, to see them still act like family even after everything. It was almost like Order 66 didn’t happen. But it did.

The moons of the planet were well in the sky, and it’d been nearly an hour since Wolffe went into the ship he and I would supposedly share. The fire was dying, as was the nightly commotion. There was less energy, less blood flowing through the clones’ veins. Growing restless of being quiet while the clones talked amongst themselves, I got up and put my cloak on. I mumbled, “Heading in for the night. . .” before trudging over to the shared ship. I stretched my limbs and back, beginning my walk towards the beds. There were at least five rooms, each one with a decently sized space and bed. Making my way down the hall, I passed by the way leading to the refresher. I paused, hearing that it was still on. “Wolffe must like long hot showers,” I thought to myself. I was about to walk on, when I heard quiet grunting, then what sounded like mumbling.

“Mendax-” I heard, barely heard over the water running in the refresher. A few curses followed, and I felt a bit of panic. Did he hurt himself? Did he know I was here? I slowly walked through the small locker room, seeing Wolffe’s armor and blacks resting on a bench. Moving past them, I peeked into the refresher room.

It was a line of refreshers in glass stalls on the opposite wall from the entrance. The floor was tile, leading into the locker room. Only one of the refreshers had their door closed, somewhat clouded up with steam. The amount of steam in the room made the air humid, and I was sure that my hair was starting to puff up with it. There was a towel on a hook nearby said refresher. Moving closer, but out of view, my face heated up as I looked at what was in front of me.

Wolffe was still in the refresher, but certainly not injured. His eyes were screwed shut, brow furrowed and biting his bottom lip. He was naked of course, water washing over him and moving down his body. Leaning against one of the tile walls of the refresher, one of his arms rested against the wall he leaned against, and his other was in front of him. He had hair on his chest, leading down to a nice trimmed happy trail leading down to his cock, where his hand was a bit. . . busy. He groaned again, his hand wrapped around his cock and moving faster. Wolffe’s head leaned back against the tile, his mouth slightly open now as a soft moan past his lips. He was close, very close.

“Fuck- Mendax~, I want you so bad~. . . Make me feel so good.” Wolffe’s voice was lower by an octave or two, rumbling and lustful.

I’d be lying if that didn’t cause some sort of feeling between my legs. He was so vulnerable, and definitely not bad to look at. We had had our differences before and were becoming something of friends, but this? It was a little unexpected.

Scrambling to get away, I made the mistake of kicking his helmet. It made a clatter that echoed through the whole of the locker room. Ashamed that I’d be caught. I hid behind the small wall of lockers in the middle of the changing room. The noise of the refresher being on stopped, and there was silence. Very tense silence. I heard the sound of bare feet walking on the tile, moving to where Wolffe’s armor was. They stopped, and the silence returned. He was behind the lockers, where I was hiding. Suddenly the footsteps sounded like they moved away and out to the hallway. I quietly breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed. Slowly, I moved around closer to the refresher room and towards the edge of the locker wall. I peeked around, and looked for Wolffe. He wasn’t there, but his armor was still on the bench. That was odd. . . I turned back and collided with something solid and damp.

I pulled away and found myself staring into a pair of eyes, one an amber like brown, and the other a pale cybernetic white. I froze, and felt immensely flustered. Wolffe had a towel wrapped low around his hips, the happy trail disappearing under the soft white cloth. A few droplets were still moving down Wolffe’s body, and he felt very warm, even just by being so close to him. His cheeks were reddened, and a blank expression on his face. I gulped, swallowing down my nervousness and composing myself.

“What are you doing in here?” Wolffe asked, his voice low and rumbly like he was in the refresher. I cleared my throat and crossed my arms, “Was wondering why you were taking so long in the refresher.” Wolffe didn’t seem to buy my reasoning. He leaned down, trapping me with his hands on either side of my head.

“Really? And you didn’t hear anything?” I shook my head, not bearing to look Wolffe in the eyes. “Liar,” he growled out. He knew, of course he knew. One of his hands grabbed my jaw and forced me to face him.

“Look at me in the eye.” My eyes moved back to lock on Wolffe’s. His human eye was blown with lust, brown being swallowed by inky, hungry black. I found myself looking at his lips, and the feeling between my legs returned. Wolffe tilted my chin up, “I’ll be honest with you. When you said you’d give us a reason to shut up, my mind went to. .. less than innocent ideas. And I couldn’t sit with them all when you were right there and looking so . . . delicious.” I let out an exhale through my nose, and dared to ask, “Like what? Hmm?”

Wolffe let out a guttural growl, and the hand holding my chin moved down to my neck. He gave a light squeeze as his lips moved to whisper in my ear. “I want you to shut me up and kiss me until I forget my fucking name. . . I want to swallow all of your moans into my mouth, know the taste of your lips. I want to feel your tongue, and maybe stop your snark for once.” My thighs were twitching with his words; he didn’t even stutter. My hands found their way on his back, and I raked my nails down the muscle. “Would you like that? Would you like to have me?” he asked. I quietly replied, “I’ve never wanted anything more than that right now. . . but I don’t know what to do. . .”

“Then I’ll show you. . .” Wolffe’s hands found their way to my thighs and he picked me up with ease. He carried me down into the hallway and opened one of the doors leading to a bedroom. I was carried right to the bed, and the door closed behind him. It was doubtful that anyone would come barging in, so there was not much reason to lock it. He was already trying to take off my robes as he carried me, rushed kisses being pressed to my jawline. Wolffe was desperate, and the desire coursing through him was infectious.

His lips crashed against mine once my back hit the bed, and my legs were wrapped around his hips. They were softer than I anticipated, and much more intoxicating than I believed kisses should be. I felt drunk, limp as Wolffe pushed his tongue into my mouth and hands explored under my now messy robes. He made quick work of the top half of my clothing, almost ripped them in the process. Wolffe’s lips moved down to my neck; my head moved to the side so he had better access. A rumbling noise went through his chest like a building growl and he bit down into the flesh of my neck. He bit hard enough that I whined at the pinching pain. My feeble attempts of squirming were stopped by the weight of Wolffe moving on top of me: one of his thighs between mine, and hands pinning my wrists down. The gesture of biting and leaving dark bruises on my neck was repeated until my neck and collarbones were littered with the marks like a night sky, varying in size and color. Taking his time and kissing back up to my mouth, Wolffe gave me a tender, sweet kiss.

When he pulled away, I felt cold and my lips felt like they were buzzing. “I’ve wanted to do this for a while, in honesty. . .” Wolffe muttered, eyes looking over my face and his handiwork. His hands cradled my face lightly, like a feather caressing my skin. The innocence and purity of the gesture was lost when his thumb brushed over my lips and lightly tugged my bottom lip down. I opened my mouth and he pushed his thumb in, groaning as it was coated in my saliva. “Such a pretty little mouth,” he mumbled.

Wolffe pulled his hand away, then moved to pull off my pants. He started breathing heavily once he had a glance at the mess between my legs. “Fuck, you’re soaking,” was what he said. Without another word, he pulled me to the edge of the bed and knelt between my legs. Moving them so they rested on his shoulders, Wolffe began to mark up my thighs just like my neck. The feeling between my legs was starting to become unbearable, and I was aching to be touched. “You know, you could stop teasing and get to the point,” I grumbled. Wolffe responded by a smack on my thigh, looking up at me. The scene in front of me was sinful, and I thought it was all a dream since it seemed too good to be true.

“You want me to get to the point?” I nodded.

“Then I won’t stop til you’re begging,” he replied before moving his head down.

The feeling was heavenly, Wolffe’s tongue working through my folds and up to my clit. My hands found their way into his thick hair, tugging on his short black locks. He groaned at the action, then focused on working my clit. My body was twitching, and my back began to arch off of the bed. “Fuck- Oh Maker- Wolffe~!” were just a few of the words that spilled from my mouth out of pleasure. I tried to push him even closer, digging my heels into his muscular back and my thighs squeezing his head. It was almost embarrassingly fast how close I got in a matter of seconds, and my orgasm came with little warning. The pleasure was white hot, I felt like I was floating and my moans filled the room. Wolffe worked through it, and even a moment after I’d come down from the blissful high. My legs were twitching, and in the pale dim lights that were on in the room, I saw Wolffe look up at me with a smug look and my wetness on his chin. He wiped his face with the back of his hand, and hummed, “My assumption was correct, you do taste delicious.” I sighed and flopped back against the bed to catch my breath.

“Maker above, that was nice. . .” Wolffe chuckled at my comment.

“It’ll get better.”

“Hm?” I looked down to see Wolffe taking off his towel and his cock ready for attention. He was big, as far as I could tell. Moving himself closer, Wolffe held onto my legs and I felt him nudge my core. “I’ll go slow, ok?” His voice was quiet and gentle again. I pulled him down into a quick kiss, and gave a soft smile. “I know you won’t hurt me,” I said. Wolffe gave a short nod and held onto my waist. He pushed himself in slowly, and his jaw clenched tightly as he did. A struggling groan came from his mouth, and was joined by a weak moan of mine. Once fully in, he was panting and practically laying on top of me. Wolffe was cursing under his breath, resting his forehead against mine. “This feels- mm fuck- way better than I imagined. . . Fuck me, you’re killing me over here,” he managed to rasp out. As if I wasn’t aroused enough, his praise pushed me even further.

I held his face in my hands, watching as he looked at me with a half-lidded, dazed gaze. “You can move now,” I said. He didn’t move at first, and I was about to tell him again until he interrupted me.

With a voice lowering a good few octaves, he asked, “You want me to move, pretty girl?”

“Y-yes.” My impatience was getting to me.

Wolffe gave a grin, “Then beg.”

I could only assume I made a somewhat amusing shocked expression, because Wolffe chuckled. “You heard me, beg for me to move,” he said. I didn’t want to, at first. After all, I was a Sith and he was just a clone. I could’ve overpowered him and take control easily, yet I didn’t. My desire was getting the best of me, and I could barely move from underneath him. So I begged for Wolffe.

“Please- Please move, I need you.”

“Please who? What do you call me, sweetheart?” This was near torture at this point, but I went along.

“Please Sir. . . Please move~.” He smiled again, and pressed a quick kiss to my cheek.

“There’s my good girl~.”

Wolffe moved slowly, but Maker did it feel great. The slow drag of him against my walls was enough to make me start digging my nails into his shoulders. He wasn’t patient though; soon he was sitting up and setting a brutal pace. I was moaning, loud enough to probably end up being heard from the hallway. Wolffe’s brow was furrowed, but the smug grin on his face told me that he was enjoying having power over me. “Moaning like a bitch for me, and I’m the only one who can do that, right?~ Only I can make you moan and desperately beg~.” I tried to growl at him, to try and show that I didn’t like the degradation. My body betrayed me, and I could only moan and try to move in response instead. He was growling and panting, keeping his pace and his gaze staying on me. “Look at you, covered in my marks and bites. Kriffing beautiful and all mine to look at~. All fucking mine~.” Given that biting seemed to be the way he showed his affection, it was no surprise that it came with possessiveness as well. When one of his hands came down to rub my clit, I was already close again.

“Maker- Wolffe, Sir- I’m so fucking close-”

“You close? You wanna make a mess all over my cock? You wanna beg for me to make you finish?”

All of the pride and dignity I had was long gone by then, and of course I begged. Of course I said, “Yes, please! Please, Sir!” I was glad he was so merciful. He replied, “Now, you can finish.” And I did, shaking and grabbing at the sheets. I heard myself almost yelling, and I’m pretty sure I screamed out Wolffe’s name too. Wolffe’s pace stuttered, and began to get sloppy. Not a few moments later, he finished as well, spilling himself inside of me and throwing his head back in bliss. He made what sounded like a groan, or maybe he was biting back a moan. Either way, we were both very satisfied by the end.

In a dazed and half awake state, we managed to fix ourselves under the sheets and get comfortable. I found myself clinging to Wolffe’s side, resting my head on his chest as his arm was wrapped around me. His thumb traced small circles into my back. A realization came to me that night; I’d fallen for him. Badly. I didn’t have the heart to tell him then, but I knew I would when the time was right. With fatigue pulling at my eyelids, I curled up next to Wolffe and slept soundly for the first time in a good while.

Bonus:

The clones were heading to their ships for the night, but they made a decision to just crowd the ship farthest away from Mendax and Wolffe. In a crowded and simple room with bunks, the clones whispered to each other. “I told you it would happen, now pay up!” Fives whisper-yelled to Echo. Echo begrudgingly handed him a few credits, and huffed. Jesse was also passing credits in the dimness. Rex sat up slightly and rubbed his eyes, “Men, what are you doing?” Fives gave a half-hearted laugh, “I’m surprised you slept through it. Wolffe and Mendax just did the deed. I made a bet that they would do it tonight, so now the boys owe me. Well, except you and Gregor.” Fives looked over to Gregor, who was busy hiding his head under his pillow. “I think he’s scarred for life,” Jesse added. Kix interrupted, “Yeah yeah, you won. Now can we sleep?” “They should be done now,” Fives replied. Rex rolled his eyes and went back to sleep.

“Go to bed, boys.”

“. . . Yes Sir.”

There was a brief silence, and a moment of peace.

“. . . Should we tell them we heard?”

“No way, Jesse. They’d kill us.”

“. . . What if we told Maul and Eli when they get back, Fives?”

“They’d kill them, well, Maul would.”

Another silence.

“. . . Who do you think started it?”

“GO TO BED, BOYS!”

“Sorry, Rex. . .”

#commander wolffe #commander wolffe x reader #commander wolffe x you #commander wolffe x oc #oc x wolffe #the clone wars #star wars #star wars prequels #star wars the clone wars #darth mendax #pls don't judge me #i'm just a writer #the cloons #clone bois #clone troopers #commander wolffe smut

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all-that-is-gold · 4 years

Text

My take on an alternate ending

“With my death, so dies the last of the Skywalkers.” Palpatine’s eery voice echoed through the great chamber as he outstretched a bony hand. A surge of force power threw the newly redeemed Ben off his feet across the great hall and into a chasm, hitting the ground on the way down. He grabbed on to the rocks surrounding the opening on the floor, his tired muscles complaining all the way. “You forget… I’m also a Solo.” He huffed as he began to pull himself back up; back to her. The stubbornness that characterized his mother and father flowing through his veins.

-Cut to Rey in the hall

Rey stood up, her head pounding and her vision blurry from the life force Palpatine had sucked from her. Ben. Ben wasn’t there. Where was he? “And now child,” The voice of the long dead rang through the chamber. “Fulfill your destiny.” Palpatine echoed the words of Snoke. “Kill me and take my place on the throne.”

Dozens of Sith whispers can be heard through the hall. Urging Rey to finish it.

“I’m not going to kill you.” Rey told him truthfully. “It isn’t my destiny.”

“But it is mine.” Ben Solo said from behind her. He stood there, chest heaving from exhertion. Ben raised his hand and his uncle’s saber flew to his hand without hesitation, he was finally worthy. He walked towards Rey, her eyes glossy at seeing him alive. He nodded to her and in unison they turned on their lightsabers. The chamber filled with brilliant blue light. They stood side by side, ready to fight till the end.

Palpatine let out a maniacal laugh. “Your coming together, will be your undoing.” He told them as he outstretched his pale hands, lightning crackling out of his fingertips and towards the pair. Without speaking, Rey and Ben tilted their lightsabers to create an ‘x’, effectively blocking the Emperor’s force lightning. It seemed like ages passed with the pair snarling their teeth, gripping the legacy sabers with every strength they had.

“You cannot defeat me! I am all the Sith!” Palpatine laughed.

Rey turned to look at Ben, who seemed to weaken with each surge of lightning coming out of Palpatine’s fingertips. They needed a miracle. And then she remembered. Of course! She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. In and out. “Be with me.” She whispered, hoping to the Maker that they would hear her plea. “Be with me.” She repeated. Ben looked at Rey, confusion and awe etched on his face. He watched as she repeated it a third time, then he understood. “Be with me.” He closed his eyes as he whispered it also.

“Be with me.” They said together.

Suddenly, both of them felt power like they had never felt before flow through them. The legacy of a thousand years of knowledge rested atop their shoulders. Palpatine might be all of the Sith. But they were all of the Jedi.

They took a step forward, one foot after another. Together. No longer Rey and Ben. No longer Light and Dark. They were the balance. Two halves of the same whole. The Light in the Darkness and the Darkness in the Light. The Force flowed freely by them as if they were a conduit for it.

Palpatine hesitated for a second as the pair in front of him seemed to glow from within. Never in his years had he witnessed something so pure in the Force. “What are you?” He asked.

“We are everything.” Ben and Rey said in unison, their voices mixed and amplified by thousands of other voices of the ones that came before them. With one last powerful push of their lightsabers, they turned the Emperor’s lightning on himself. With a scream of agony and shock, the Emperor’s lightning beginning to eat away through him, burning flesh and bone in its path. The Force is too strong amongst the three of them. As the Emperor “explodes” into nothing, Ben and Rey are sent flying off from the power surge. The hall around them collapsing. Each of them thrown in a different direction mirroring the end of the Throne Room Battle seen in The Last Jedi.

-Cut to the Resistance Plot

Ben awakens first. He searches for Rey and sees that she was flung to the other side of what remains of the hall. He gets up clumsily, limping. He falls on his knees, succumbing to his injuries and crawls to reach her. He grabs her gently by her arm, she’s cold to the touch. He turns her motionless body over, only to find her whole side and face littered with dark marks; as if the lightning had etched itself on her skin. Her eyes wide open and lifeless. She wasn’t breathing.

Ben held her close to his chest, looking around to see if anybody could help them. It was just them in the ruins of the great hall. He needed to do something. With a breath, he knew what to do. He cradled her on his lap, holding her head gently with one hand and the other placed on her stomach as she had done with him before, when she gave him a new birth. So would he.

He closed his eyes and concentrated. Focus. Breathe. Just Breathe. With his last remaining energy he passed on his life force onto her. Feeling the warmth slowly leave his body, transferred to her from his palms. She wasn't done yet. The Resistance needed her. The galaxy needed her. Her friends needed her. Nobody needed him after all he had done. It was okay. He was at peace with his decision.

Her palm covered his as she breathed in for the first time. He opened his eyes, relieved that it worked. He helped her sit up gently. “Ben.” She breathed. His face breaking into a grin, crooked teeth and all. She was alive. She gave him an equally radiant smile. She looked down to his lips hesitantly at first and then gave him a passionate kiss. His arms encircling her as she reached up a hand to touch his cheek. They pull back, contemplating everything they had been through. Content with each other being alive. Ben’s face suddenly changes. He feels himself slipping. His smile fades, he looks at her face. Committing every last detail to memory. For this was the last time he was going to see her while he lived.

With a sigh his eyes close and his body falls back, lifeless; as Rey clamors to reach him desperately.

Without letting go of his hand, she brings her ear to his chest and a tear rolls down her face. He is gone. She stays there. Silently crying

-Cut to a background of space, stars.

“Ben.”

He opened his eyes slowly. He saw that he was surrounded by stars. He sat up and found himself standing on nothing. Floating it would seem.

“Ben.”

Different voices called out his name. All around him, enveloping him. He was tired of hearing voices in his head. “Who are you?” He asked them. What are you, he wanted to ask.

“I‘d hope you would know us by now, kid.” Luke’s force ghost materializes behind him, giving him a soft rueful smile.

“Uncle Luke.” He said tensely. So Ben truly was gone. Then that meant-

“She’s not here.” Luke answered for him, as if reading his mind or his heart. “She’s waiting for you.”

“I’m ready to see her.” Ben said shakily. He had to. She was his mother after all.

“No you’re not.” Luke shook his head gently. “This isn’t over yet, kid.” Ben frowned at this. What did he mean.

“Where are we?” He asked his uncle, who only looked around him.

“Everywhere and yet nowhere.” His uncle answered quizzically as he always did, Ben wanted to roll his eyes. He understood nothing. “We are one with the Force.” Luke outstretched his arms.

“So I did it.” Ben nodded. “I saved her.”

Luke looked at him sadly. His nephew had suffered a great deal at the hands of the man who had abused three generations of his family and now, his final act as a redeemed man was to die saving the woman he loved. Saving the galaxy’s knowledge of the Force in the process. Luke had to admit it that he was a bit impressed at his nephew’s selflessness and proud of him. He wished he could forgive himself for all the wrongs he had done in the past. For not being there for him.

“Yes.” Luke conceded.

“So, no more voices?” Ben pressed.

Luke gave him a rueful smile. One that was etched with mischief Ben hadn’t seen in years. “Not the ones you’re familiar with.” Ben frowned at this.

“You need to bring balance to the Force.” Anakin’s Force ghost appears next to Luke’s. “Both of you.”

“Grandfather.” Ben breathed.

“This is what has to be done.” Anakin tells him.

“I don’t understand.” Ben shakes his head lightly.

“For balance to exist both sides of the Force must coexist.” Came another voice. Obi-Wan Kennobi appearing on the other side of Luke. “Light exists within the Dark and Dark exists within the Light. One incomplete without the other.” He explained. “A dyad.”

Ben stares at them.

“Dead, Kylo Ren is.” The little Master Yoda spoke up as he materialized. “Rise, Ben Solo will.”

Then it dawned on him.

“Everything I did, all of it was wrong.” Ben said sadly and ashamed, referring to half of a life living a lie as Kylo Ren. “It’s too late.”

“Death is not the only way one can be redeemed.” Anakin smirked, placing a hand on Ben’s shoulder. Obi-Wan did the same. Master Yoda extended his hand in front of him. Finally, Luke placed his hand on his nephew’s chest.

“The Force will be with you.” He told him earnestly. As thousands of Jedi appeared behind them. Qui-Gon. Ahsoka. Mace Windu. Luminara. Aayla Secura. Some of them Jedis from other centuries past. “Always.”

And with those words Leia’s body becomes one with the force. Her final act to be transferring her life force to save her son.

-Cut to Rey still resting her head on his chest. Sobbing softly.

Ben takes a sharp intake of breath as he comes back to life. Making Rey jump back, scared and in surprise. He looks at her as she looks at him. Both in disbelief as to what had just happened, but for different reasons.

“You came back.” She whispered to him in awe and confusion as he sat up. Ben breathed, looking at her intently.

“I’ve been told I’m very hard to get rid of.” He told her jokingly. A little bit of Han Solo’s sassiness shining through. She smiled back. They hug tightly, relieved.

-Cut to the celebration. Everything happens as it does in the movie. Rey goes back to the resistance. Celebrates with Finn and Poe. Hugs Chewie.

-Cut to Rey on Tattoine, her hair up in an intricate Alderaanian braid and her new clothes are light grey; almost white. Everything happens as it does in the movie.

She digs the legacy lightsabers in the sand. The final resting place of the Skywalker twins where it all began.

An old lady walks past the Lars moisture farms. “It’s been years since anyone has been in this place.” Rey smiles at her. “Who are you?”

Rey turns to where she landed the Falcon, Ben climbing down the ramp with Chewie and BB8 waiting at the bottom of it.

-Ben is dressed in dark grey, almost black.

Half of her found family.

“Rey Skywalker.” She smiles.

Ben walks up to her, smiling softly.

“Where do you want to go now?” Ben asks her. Coming to stand by her side.

“Somewhere green.” Comes Rey’s answer, a content smile on her face as she takes hold of his hand.

Together they watch as the twin suns of Tattoine disappear down the horizon.

The camera pans out and we see the Skywalker twins looking at them, smiles on their faces.

Peace at last. The balance restored.

#reylo #star wars #rey of jakku #ben solo #kylo ren

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duhragonball · 4 years

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Potpourri

I’ve been thinking about various storytelling things, not really Dragon Ball related, but I figured I could write them all down here and make something out of it. Yeah, like an old school Livejournal post, except I can’t write a sassy message in the read-more cut.

Okay, first, I’ve been watching a lot of AEW Dark episodes on YouTube, because AEW puts out a new one every Tuesday and it’s easy to fall behind on them. So it’s like reliving wrestling angles that I watched on AEW Dynamite back in June and July. One of these angles was a world title match between champion Jon Moxley, and “The Machine” Brian Cage, who debuted by winning a ladder match in dramatic fashion, along with his new manager, Taz.

Taz does a lot of the color commentary for these episodes of Dark, and Cage debuted around the release of Episode 35, so after that, Taz started using his announcing job to promote the upcoming title match and gloat about how his guy Cage was going to destroy Jon Moxley and win the title. Taz’s main argument was that Cage is absolutely jacked, which made him a success before, but now he’s got Taz coaching him in all the cool stuff Taz used to do in ECW: suplexes, submission holds, etc. Taz sells you Brian Cage’s world title victory like a lawyer presenting a case to a jury. At the center of Taz’s argument was his claim that Cage was simply too big, too strong, and too prepared for Jon Moxley’s finishing move, the Paradigm Shift. Taz predicted that Mox wouldn’t be able to apply the Paradigm Shift properly, and even if he could hit it, it wouldn’t be enough to stop Cage.

The plot twist came from real life, when Moxley had to stay home because his wife contracted COVID-19. There was a lot of speculation that he might get sick, and even if he didn’t, that he wouldn’t be able to appear for the title match. Fortunately, it didn’t come to that, and the match was simply postponed an extra week. During that time, Taz accused Moxley of ducking Brian Cage, which I wasn’t crazy about, since I didn’t like coronavirus being used in a wrestling angle. On the other hand, it did give Taz a couple of weeks to run down the champion unopposed. At one point he reintroduced his old FTW title belt and gave it to Cage because the world title match had been postponed. Good stuff.

So finally, Moxley comes back, and he did one promo before the title match, and this was his chance to respond to all the shittalking Taz had been doing. It was brilliant, because for weeks, Taz had been declaring victory, and he shut it all down in one quick segment. He brought up Taz’s claim that the Paradigm Shift wouldn’t work on Cage, and Moxley just said “well maybe I won’t try to use my finisher on him. No, instead, I’m going to target his left bicep, which was surgically repaired last year, putting Cage out of action for several months.”

And just like that, the tone of the show changed, where suddenly it looked like Cage might be in trouble, because his camp only seemed to have a perfect game plan, and here was the champion announcing his own counter-strategy in advance. “You talked shit about my wife being sick, so I will reinjure your arm.”

And it was awesome. At one point Moxley went for a pin, and Cage kicked out, only for Moxley to reverse the pin into a submission move on the arm. There were points where it seemed like he couldn’t decide which arm to target, and eventually I realized he was going after both of them, switching from one to the other as needed. It’s smart, because if you go after the good arm, he’s gotta use the vulnerable one to fight you off, and by doing that Cage basically handed it to Mox for his next hold.

Finally, Moxley had Cage trapped in an arm hold, and the whole time he was looking Taz in the eye, basically waiting for a submission or a ref stoppage, and Taz had no choice but to throw in the towel to save Brian Cage’s career. It was a beautiful finish because it sewed up the whole story. Cage never tapped out, so he still looks like a relentless badass, but Taz had to let discretion be the better part of valor. He mocked Moxley for playing it safe when his wife got sick, so Moxley forced Taz to make the same choice. Great stuff.

Second. I’ve been reading Darth Vader comics since Marvel started publishing new Star Wars stuff again. Disney bought Marvel and Star Wars, so it was only a matter of time before the comics began to reflect this. The smart thing they did was to give Vader his own title, which I like because I’m not that into the adventures of Luke and Han.

The first Vader series was twenty-odd issues featuring his fall from grace after the Death Star’s destruction, and his rise to command of the Imperial Fleet. Basically it charts Vader’s career between Episodes IV and V, though there’s plenty of room for other side-stories.

The second series flashed back to the final scenes of Revenge of the Sith, and tracks Vader’s actions before A New Hope. It doesn’t cover the entire period, but it hits a lot of the important notes. How he got his red lightsaber, how he trained the Inquisitors and hunted down the surviving Jedi, and how he built the castle on Mustafar seen in Rogue One. So it handles everything important Vader was known to have done between Episodes III and IV.

The third series, currently ongoing, starts right after Vader’s final scene in Empire Strikes Back, and I would assume it’s going to lead him right up to his arrival at Death Star II in Return of the Jedi. I’m really into this, because I feel like this is an especially overlooked stage of Vader’s career. Starting out, it seems to be mostly about Vader investigating how his son survived Padme’s death, as he seeks revenge against anyone who hid the boy from him. Of course, nearly everyone involved in that cover-up is already dead, so I’m not sure where this is going to lead.

All three volumes of the Vader title focus on the utter futility of Vader’s quests for power and revenge. His hunts for Jedi survivors was just something for him to do in his spare time, since the Jedi were no longer a threat to him. His castle on Mustafar was designed to give him special knowledge of the Force, but it only revealed truths that he already knew, or had long since rejected. His plot to regain the Emperor’s favor after Yavin was very satisfying to watch, but also pointless: The Emperor needed him too badly to dispose of him, and Vader’s still a patsy whether he’s the #2 guy in the Empire or the #5 guy in the Empire. And now this new series sees him chasing ghosts, trying to make sense of Luke’s refusal to join him. He wants some sort of answer to his dilemma, but the only answer he’s ever going to find is the one in ROTJ, where he sacrifices himself to kill the Emperor, the one thing he cannot bring himself to contemplate until the time comes.

What saddens me, a little, is the realization that there doesn’t seem to be anywhere else for Marvel to go with the guy. We’ve got an arc of Vader between Episodes III and IV, an arc between IV and V, and now V and VI, and that’s it. The only way to do another Darth Vader series after this would be to go back and cover one of those three periods of his career. And I’d be up for that, but the three series Marvel has done seem a little too decisive for this. Like they purposely planned these comics because they weren’t going to revisit the character again for a while. At least, not as the star of his own feature.

I guess I could deal with that. Maybe Marvel could finally get around to exploring the Sith career of Count Dooku between Episodes I and II, or work out some loose ends with the Emperor between Episodes VI and IX. The main thing that’s been on my mind about Vader, though, is this idea that the character could just be done, and laid aside.

This is something I’ve often observed about Cell and Frieza in DBZ. I still think it’s dumb how they brought back Frieza after Trunks killed him, because there really wasn’t anything left to do with the character after he got turned into a cyborg and instakilled. There’s nowhere to go after that. His character arc was to start as the Final Boss of the entire Universe and then to get reduced to a pathetic, minor threat. You can bring him back, but your only choice, dramatically speaking, is to reset the character, which means putting him back on the same track he’s already covered. There’s no way to bring back Frieza and not have it be a retread of stuff he’s already done once before.

Cell might have some interesting applications beyond his original story, but he’s too much of a slave to his purpose. His job was to carry on Dr. Gero’s revenge scheme, and that all ended when the saga ended, so he just seems out of place whenever he appears after that. This is why I’m glad Toei and Toriyama haven’t brought Cell back, although at this rate it feels like it’s only a matter of time. The thing is, if they brought him back, what else could they do with him?

With Darth Vader, all of his most important moments have already been covered in the movies, so all that’s left is to produce some side-story content. The old Expanded Universe tended to steer clear of Darth Vader, probably out of respect for George Lucas’ prequel plans. Later, the Clone Wars projects gave us more Anakin Skywalker than anyone knew what to do with, which is basically Darth Vader content, but not quite. That’s why I dig these Marvel books so much, because there’s never been such a sustained effort to tell a Darth Vader story like this. But once it’s run its course, the only way to keep using the character would basically be to start over. I have a hard time seeing Marvel do that. They’d have to get a new writer to retell those years like the first set of comics didn’t happen. That could be very entertaining, but it doesn’t sound likely to happen.

I’m not terribly worried about getting my Darth Vader fix in the future. They’ll keep making stories about him long after I’m dead. It’s just that I’ve been thinking about the limits of what you can do with one character. I’ve long thought that you can always find gaps in the narrative that can be filled in with new stories, but maybe that isn’t true. Maybe at some point, for some characters, there’s a finite amount of things to do with them. You look at all of the Anakin Skywalker Clone Wars stories, and I’m sure someone could write a few hundred more, but would it really accomplish anything that hasn’t already been covered? Is it possible to “use up” a character? I probably won’t know for sure anytime soon.

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lesbiannova · 4 years

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I just found out that Neil Pollner, the writer of the Sith Warrior story in SWTOR, also wrote Aria and the Omega DLC in ME3, as well as Peebee and Gil in ME:A, through his LinkedIn profile. I think this explains quite a few things, specifically the patterns and similarities in the BioWare content Pollner was involved in.

Even before playing ME:A myself, what I've heard and read about Peebee already reminded me of Vette a lot: both are romance options and members of an alien race that are sexualized and fetishized both in- and out-of universe, both have a passion for treasure hunting, and both are also characterized as Sassy and Rebellious.

In both the Sith Warrior storyline and the Omega DLC, you can influence the alignment of one of your companions, Jaesa and Aria respectively, though Aria is a temporary squadmate and her personality change is nowhere near as drastic as Dark Side Jaesa.

Also, Pollner isn't the best at writing LGBTQ+ characters. Nyreen's death in the Omega DLC is something I’ll forever be in denial of. I like both Aria and Nyreen individually, but I find their relationship toxic. Even if Nyreen lives I really don’t think them getting back together would be good for either of them. Peebee also had an abusive ex who is another asari. Gil has a homophobic storyline of him getting pressured into having babies by a cishet woman.

There’s even Quinn, who was originally meant to be bi (1, 2, 3), and his infamous betrayal in the Sith Warrior story, making him fall under the “untrustworthy bisexual men“ trope in BioWare games. I also strongly suspected that Quinn was not expected to live in most players’ game because there’s a lack of follow-up or resolution to the Quinncident in vanilla SWTOR. To me it seemed like back when SWTOR developers added options to kill companions during SWTOR’s development, they expected most players would just kill Quinn for the Quinncident, so they didn’t bother spending real effort in writing follow-up to scenarios where Quinn is spared.

#leilukin talks swtor #leilukin talks mass effect #leilukin talks mass effect: andromeda #bioware critical #abuse mention

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ariainstars · 4 years

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The Rise of Skywalker or Well, It Seems Santa Won’t Come to Us This Year

Warning... this is a long entry.

A satisfying ending to such a universally beloved story after 42 years and 9 episodes, in the hands of one of the most renowned and expert film studios in the world ought to look different. As the final chapter and with the way laid out by Rian Johnson, it could and should have been epic. But for some obscure reason, the Disney studios decided to let JJ Abrams f*** it up royally. As if they did it on purpose.

Honestly, what did we expect? Abrams is a copycat, we saw that with Star Trek, too. He can tell old stories again in a rather fresh way, but he can’t think up anything really good of his own.

I admit that at first, I didn’t like the sequels much. They seemed adamant to tear down the past, no wonder so many fans got upset. Besides, I was devastated by Han Solo’s death at the hand of his own son.

But then I warmed up to the other characters, and I said to myself that it’s not wrong to start afresh and give a new generation a chance. The old doesn’t become bad because new things come up. And our heroes Han, Leia and Luke had their happy ending; it wasn’t cancelled. It was interesting to think, “What happens after a happy ending?” (For the record, it seems war heroes do not exactly make good parents / uncles. I guess you need other qualities for that.)

Honestly, I did have a vaguely bad feeling a few weeks before TRoS came out; I couldn’t say why. Anyway, looking back there were a few giveaways that the story would end the way it did.

1. The title: “Rise of Skywalker”. Though the last of the Skywalker blood, Ben technically was a Solo (Organa-Solo to be exact). He did redeem himself, but he did not rise above it all.

2. Kylo’s light sabre is the only one which looks like a cross. Anakin was a child without a father. Both suffered terrible pains and then died - due to other people’s sins.

3. The saga’s themes are many and a lot was set up in Episodes VII and VIII. It was to be expected that one film wouldn’t be enough to wrap everything up. TLJ had a new and fresh approach; but apart from the fact that so many fans hated it, it packed the film so full of new themes and subjects that it took us as fans months to inspect it all. We should have guessed that there wouldn’t be enough time in TRoS to finish the old story, start the next one and wrap that up, too.

4. Circumstances be as they may, Kylo / Ben is still a patricide. He did evil things before, but killing Han definitively damned him. And very many people unfortunately take these films at face value and do not go into depth. If TLJ stirred up a wasp’s nest, I don’t want to know what would have happened if in TRoS he would have been redeemed and had survived, and maybe also found his happy ending. Much as I love him, from a moral standpoint it sounds somewhat ambiguous.

The Rise of Skywalker assuredly is Star Wars-y. But is that really more important than making good and uplifting films?

Rogue One was so Star Wars-y that fans almost went nuts about it; I still remember my shock when I actually watched it and found it a deeply sad, melancholy story, thematically the exact opposite of A New Hope’s joy and optimism.

Rose was detested by many fans because she was a quirky personality and so unlike Leia: no wonder she almost disappeared. And her relationship with Finn, which was set up as perfectly fitting, vanished as well: no, no, no, we always have a trio in the middle of the story. More than three heroes, that’s not Star Wars-y. Rey’s spunky, sassy personality reminds of Leia, so she is seen as Star Wars-y. And fans couldn’t accept that she comes from nowhere because in Star Wars it has to turn out that you’re related to someone: so she had to be Palpatine’s granddaughter (ugh) and Saint Rey at the same time.

Fans were hurt by Han Solo’s death in TFA, but at least got to see him being cool and swashbuckling. Luke died in TLJ, but as far as I know fans didn’t send a petition to Disney asking to take TFA from canon: they only did so after TLJ. Reason? Because as it seems, they could forgive anything that was done to Han, but not Luke’s green milk.

Ben Solo, the last of the Skywalker blood, was judged an unworthy heir to Darth Vader due to his emotionality, that’s why everybody left him to rot in a pit. Who hated him for being a “whiny sissy” at least will be content now.

As for us, who have looked more in depth at the saga as a whole and its themes, we can go home with hollow hearts and feeling numb.

My compliments, JJ. You managed to destroy both the probably most famous and beloved film franchises in less than ten years. And you have spoilt our Christmas.

Worse, you have ruined the franchise for the many, many children who grew up loving Kylo Ren and Rey and rooting for their happy ending together. I have heard that a lot of parents had to bring their kids home weeping. Do you believe they will love the saga now still? They will probably only remember it as a terribly sad story and not want to have anything to do with it ever again. And this from the Disney studios, experts for children’s stories, fairy tales and happy endings. A few days before Christmas. I never would have guessed that making older fanbros happy would be so much more important. At least their heroes had their happy ending, their successes, their friendship. Ben Solo had nothing. And this was the very last episode, so we can’t even hope for the future.

I myself right now don’t know whether I can ever watch anything about Star Wars again. I was so elated, so sure of a happy ending after 9 episodes and 42 years. Now every time I will think about watching something related to SW, I will be reminded of how sadly it all ended. And with no warning, mind you. At least watching the prequels we all knew how it would end.

Rian Johnson had set everything up beautifully. I can’t believe that Disney studios and JJ can have been so blind as to not see it, they’re supposed to be experts and to be paid for storytelling. To me it was abundantly clear that

- Ben Solo’s redemption were the children (an inversion to the Jedi Temple carnage, and a parallel to Leia’s meeting with the Ewoks where she immediately became motherly)

- Rey would fall to the Dark Side something ugly and then understand that she had no right to judge Ben

- Ben and Rey would be together and have their happy ever after

- They would take care of the children together, learning from their own upbringing to be protective and understanding parents

- Ben would be the Good Father opposite to Darth Vader the Evil Father and this would “finish what he started” (excuse me, why choose an actor for the role who has Vader’s stature but whose features are the exact opposite? Who has repeatedly proven that he deals well with children in films? Why not use his potential??)

- They would start a new Jedi training or academy, where children would no longer be taught to suppress their emotions

- Rey would in this way finally find the family she craved

- Balance would mean a rainbow or a prism, not Black against White, or Grey

What I still can’t believe

I guess most of you have read some of my meta’s. They were written after thorough researc of the saga’s themes. And I still can’t believe that I got it that wrong.

Yes, as I already wrote above there still is the fact that Kylo / Ben is a patricide and that having him survive after he damned himself like that might have been a bad message. But I still believed that he was in for redemption and survival, and that he was meant to be a father figure.

What about all the messages in TLJ, which all seemed to point to the future?

- The hand-touching scene with the set-up which was exactly opposite to Anakin’s and Padmés wedding? Why did both couples have to end tragically?

- Why were enslaved children introduced in a sympathetic way, the film even ending showing one of them being a Force User and dreaming of being a Jedi? What about Anakin’s promise that he would come back and free the slaves on his planet? That promise was never kept.

- What will become of new Force Users? The last person who was taught both the Jedi and the Sith knowledge is dead.

- Why did Maz Kanata announce to Rey that “the belonging she sought was ahead of her”? She is on the planet that both Anakin and Luke ardently wished to leave. How is that belonging? She knows who she is now, but she is just as lonely and overburdened as when she started. She has not found the family she sought, and she hasn’t founded one of her own. And where’s the ocean she used to dream of?

- Rey had told Ben that “she saw his future”. What future was that? “You will be a hero for ten minutes, have almost all your bones crushed, get a kiss and then die”…?

- Why did Leia ask Han to bring their son home? He saved his soul, but as for finding home, not a chance.

- Luke had promised his nephew that they would see each other again. Nope. And both he and Leia took Rey’s side, abandoning their nephew and son in favor of the offspring of their worst enemy. This is destroying their legacy, not the green milk. Luke panicking and contemplating to kill Ben in his sleep lasted a few seconds. It is not understandable why Luke and Leia should believe in Rey while they were afraid of their own flesh and blood. Because she’s cooler, I guess.

- TRoS destroyed the Jedi’s legacy as well, respectively proved once more what terrible people they were, ready to sacrifice everything for their victory. All of them spoke to Rey, not one to Ben. As if he didn’t even exist. He wasn’t useful to them, that was all.

- After the victory of the Light Side and the Dark Side, logically Balance should have come. Where and how did we ever see this balance? Oh, the bad guy is dead again, that’s good. If at least his granddaughter was dead, then maybe the galaxy would finally have some peace! But that besotted idiot had to resurrect her. Out of love.

- In the end, who won? The Skywalker Curse. The last of their blood is dead. Their name lives on, together with the flesh and blood of Palpatine. As if all had been for nothing.

- Rey is not the winner in this story. She did not inherit the Skywalker name, tokens, emotional support, memories, lessons: she is a usurper just like her grandfather. Except that she didn’t do it on purpose.

- What is the future of the galaxy now? Rey lives, thank to Palpatine’s and the Jedi’s power and Ben Solo’s love. But what is the political future? What became of the First Order? What will become of the future Jedi, or will there be any at all? This whole mess doesn’t seem at all a reason to rejoice.

- What did Anthony Daniels mean when he twittered that the ending of the saga would contain a message for all of us? Almost everybody dies, that’s great, Merry Christmas? ☹

The Last Jedi was packed full of wonderful messages: you can be a nobody and still carve your way in life, failure is the greatest teacher, war makes unscrupulous people rich, good and bad are made-up words (you blow them up today, they blow you up tomorrow), you have to save what you love not destroy what you hate… and so on. Luke’s lesson explaining that the Force is not some kind of superpower was tremendous and necessary for all fans to hear. His confession of the Jedi’s sins and his decision that they had to end was the right conclusion after all that we learned about Anakin. But alas, the older fanbros hated each and every one of these messages and lessons. Star Wars may be for twelve-year-old, as Lucas once said. But twelve-year-olds are supposed to grow up, some day or other.

The Force Awakens had not promised anything. If you believed that the old trio would be back to kick ass, watch it again. It’s clear from the start that this time it’s up to the next generation. Our heroes had not only grown older, they were visibly tired and disillusioned. And there obviously was a whole baggage of secrets and problems to be unpacked. Did anyone honestly believe Luke would jump right back into the fray, like he was not an exile by own choice but some kind of Robinson Crusoe who simply hadn’t found home again?

The Last Jedi, by comparison, had opened a whole treasure chest of promises for love, hope, future and homecoming. And The Rise of Skywalker spat them almost all into our faces. It almost seems like the petty work of an envious man - like children who mob and publicly humiliate one particular child because it’s more intelligent and has achieved more than them.

So, what’s the moral for Ben Solo at the end - see to it that you’re not in the wrong place at the wrong time? Don’t trust anyone, not even your own family members, not even the greatest hero of your time?

Anakin won the pod race, he destroyed the star base over Naboo, he became a valiant Jedi, he married the love of his life. He once said, “This is the happiest day of my life.” But apart from a childhood that was probably more or less positive, as far as we know Ben Solo had nothing but pain and sorrow from life. He wasn’t torn from limb to limb and burned alive and then had to live on for decades, but he lost his home, his integrity and his life, merely due to… fate. Twenty years of struggle, frustration, loneliness, anger, death, sorrow and destruction. The only glimpse of hope he saw was in Rey’s eyes as they connected in TLJ, and his only moment of happiness when he sacrificed his life to save her (I will never forget that smile). Reylo was canon for a few seconds… and the SW couple with the strongest chemistry did not even get a love theme. ☹

I admit I was doubtful whether it would have been a good idea to let Ben survive and be happy after all the bad things he had done. But the message we got now is infinitely worse; and being an abuse victim myself it is a personal hurt to me. So, if you become the victim of abuse because nobody was there to help you, you are doomed and can only escape through death. And we saw nobody grieving for him, no Force Ghost among the others, no grave, no body to burn as in Vader’s case. As if he never existed. Another unsung, unhappy hero without an epitaph like the ones from Rogue One - it seems that viewers liked that, so let’s give them some more of it. Even if we’re called Disney.

The prequels look positive in this light. At least we always knew they would end as a tragedy, and there was hope in the end. Rey is left with nothing but sad memories. The prequels had a story arc; they told the story they wanted (the tragedy of Anakin Skywalker) in their own way; they were a massive, ambitious project in the style of colossal movies like The Last Day of Pompeji or The Fall of the Roman Empire. In this light they’re pretty good, the OT fans simply didn’t like them because they weren’t Star-Wars-y enough. The sequels tried to patch that up and ironically, the best sequel is the middle one, which was hated by the OT fans for trying to open the way to something new. And maybe the sequels never were meant to make a real wrap-up, to give us a satisfying happy ending; because the more fans protest, the more it will give the studios the chance to explore the possibilities for new stories. It’s in their right, I guess. But nevertheless, it leaves a bitter aftertaste.

And sorry, this whole story proves to me once more that the Jedi were nothing but petty little f***s who cared only for letting Their Side Win no matter the cost and didn’t care in the least about the human lives and happiness involved. Anakin, Luke and Ben all wanted to be pilots, not Jedi! Anakin’s tragedy was that he had to become a Jedi instead of being himself. His grandson’s tragedy was the same. He was targeted from birth not only by Snoke but also by his uncle and his own mother who saw nothing but his potential for the Force - not a young man like any other who wanted to be happy, to love and belong like everybody else. Only exception, Han. To him, his son was always simply his son, whether he was powerful in the Force or not. No wonder Ben loved Rey to death: after his father she was the only one who ever saw and loved him simply for being himself. The Jedi all spoke to Rey encouraging her to stand up against Palpatine; the last son and heir of the Skywalker was ignored by his own flesh and blood, because to them he was officially “Dark Side” and thus not interesting for the final fight. They did not even care whether Rey died after the victory; the supposed “bad guy” had to come and rescue her. Out of love, not because of her power. And the Jedi are supposed to be some kind of heroes and glowing examples. What a terrible sarcasm.

Ever heard of the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?

No?

Try the tragedy of Ben Solo the Fucked-Up Loser Who Just Wanted to Be Himself.

What I hope for…

I want to spend my time in other ways from now on. I will read meta’s and fanfics about Star Wars still, but not so assiduously.

Maybe this entire f***up was a well-planned strategy in order to make us wish and ask for another sequel, so that the Star Wars story can go on like an endless soap opera. And the studios make money while we wait for every single scrap of news.

And yet, I can’t accept that this was supposed to be all. The saga is at its end, but is Ben Solo really finished?

Rian Johnson confirmed that he is working on a new trilogy. I can only hope that he will pick up the themes which he started in TLJ and finally give us the happy ending we craved. The next film starts in 2022 if rumors are right.

In a way, it is understandable that Ben Solo’s arc had to finish here and without a happy ending: after all he is not a Skywalker but a Solo. In the end, it was not his story. Who knows what the Force has in store for us. 😊

I would love for Johnson to come back and give our hearts what we wanted after Abrams satisfied (it seems) the fanbros of the original trilogy who hated TLJ so much. Everybody would get what he wanted; fans of OT could simply not watch / ignore the continuation and we could root for Kylo / Ben to our heart’s content. I figure that would be a fair compromise. And if it is indeed a trilogy, there would be plenty of time to explore the family / father / mother themes, and create a new life and identity for Ben. (Who, I am saying it again, assuredly deserved better.)

However, that is all in the future. I haven’t a clue what Johnson is planning, I only think that it would make sense if he explored TLJ’s themes more in depth and with more time.

I really want to pester Rian Johnson right now to give us Ben Solo’s story and to make it happy at last. (Pretty please with cherries on top. 😉)

If you are interested, there is already a petition: https://www.change.org/p/lucasfilm-continue-ben-solo-s-story

What has actually improved for me

1. In my youth I had to spend a large portion of my life under very disagreeable circumstances and I learned to zone out mentally to this or other “dream worlds” as a meaning to cope. (“Dreams Are My Reality” was my song, growing up. 😊) My life is much better now, but the tendency to zone out is still there. Now I remind myself every day that dreaming is good but that no one ought to spend so much time dreaming that his actual life passes him by. I don’t need to escape into dreams any more, I can just enjoy them. So, I feel more grateful.

2. I have learned a lot about myself these two years. I question my intelligence less and I overestimate other people less. I am less timid. I notice that I am calmer and speak slower and do more small talk. The reason: I have realized that many, many people value “coolness” most of all in fictional as well as real people and that one of my main problems is that I am oversensitive and doubtful, similarly to Kylo / Ben. No wonder he’s hated: not so much because “he did so many evil things” but because he is seen as a whiny sissy. (Vader did much worse things, but his “untouchable” attitude made up for it.) I found out that many people mistake a haughty or nonchalant attitude with strength. I don’t need to feel ashamed because I am willing to learn and develop my mind. Anyone who takes me for a fool because of this, it’s his loss. Vader was over-the-top cool, but lonely and miserable. For happiness, we need other humans. Not superhumans.

3. I have spent two very agreeable years exchanging points of view with other fans in this community and I have learned a lot about narratives. I have gone in depth in the Star Wars saga and now I appreciate it much more than before. (I actually consider watching the prequels again to get over TRoS. I never would have believed it if anyone had told me, a few years ago. 😊)

4. I feel closer to my husband. We’ve spent so many evenings apart the last two years because I was elbows-deep in Star Wars! Now we talk more, go out more and watch more films or TV shows together. (BTW, I read many fanfics were Ben and Rey had a playful, teasing relationship. Now I tease my husband more and our marriage is improved. 😊)

5. I used to laugh at who detested TLJ and / or the prequels and to think that who didn’t get the messages was just too lazy to think about them. I do not think that the original characters were ruined in these films at all, but fans who expected them to kick ass until retirement and beyond of course were disappointed. I figured that to make a credible sequel you had to lend more depth to characters and themes and couldn’t just start off again like nothing happened. Most reboots are like this and that’s why they fail: a film is not the same as a TV show. I found Star Wars’ approach more intelligent. But I disrespected other people’s hurt and irritation… and now I find myself in the same situation. I count myself lucky because I waited only 2 years and not 30 years like other hardcore fans.

We are depressed now and feel that Christmas is ruined. Hardcore OT fans must have felt the same two years ago - I remember quite a lot of meta’s and videos where people vented their rage and frustration, some going so far that they declared they wanted to abandon the franchise for good. They felt betrayed. As do we now: we feel that TLJ set up the stage for a brilliant redemption arc and love / family story, and now here we are, looking like fools.

Maybe next time we ought to be more specific with our wishes. Reylo is canon - what did that mean to you? I never hoped for Ben to be redeemed through Rey’s love, that would have been mushy. But I did of course hope for them to have a Happy Ever After. What did Bendemption mean to you? I of course hoped he would redeem himself and survive. The meanest thing about this film is that it gave us what we hoped for only to take it away again... And differently from the OT fans, we can’t say to ourselves, “Well, there’s still one film to be done, let’s hope it will make up.” Nostalgia has won. Not compassion, or the willingness to look beyond one’s nose.

Lessons learned

1. Try not to get so worked up about a film. After all, it’s just a story. It’s not our fault if studios, directors and story writers are little sh**s who like to have us build our hopes up and then deflate us.

2. Appreciate the world around you. It’s more complicated and frightening because contrarily to your dreams you can’t keep it in control. But it’s real. It makes you a more real person, and also the ones you interact with.

3. Make your own happy ending. a) That a hero you identified with didn’t get his happy ending doesn’t mean you won’t get yours. If you are already in a satisfying life situation, be grateful for what you have. If you’re not, roll up your sleeves more and do your best to escape reality less. b) Write stories that go the way you would have wanted them to.

4. Start something new to clear your head. A new project you didn’t have “time” for or perhaps not enough courage. Pour your energies into that.

5. Question yourself. Why did this story, these characters intrigue you so? You do not live in the galaxy far, far away after all. If you identify with Kylo / Ben, why? If you would like a partner like him, why? What can you do to implement your wishes into your life?

If you feel with lonely, misunderstood people, reach out in real life. The prequels were a cautionary tale about a good boy becoming a monster because he was overburdened from early age and left alone with his fears and doubts. Society had created its own monster. Don’t let us contribute to that kind of society.

I was adamant that Ben Solo was supposed to become a caring father figure in TRoS. Ironically, I have no children of myself and I don’t deal well with other people’s: I don’t dislike children, I just don’t have practice with them. If Ben didn’t get the chance to be a loving and caring figure for abandoned children, I think I ought to do something for children myself.

In the meantime, merry Christmas. We will always have each other. 😊

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glorywaited · 4 years

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☽ / @notgettingawaythistime : Star Wars AU SEND AN AU FOR 5+ HEADCANONS ABOUT IT !! ( always accepting !! )

⚫ she lost her arm early on in her career as a bounty hunter -- back when she was still to trusting of others && her tendency to want to help came to bite her back && she was betrayed. she has a robotic limb now that works in tandem with her vambrace && is every bit of a weapon as she is herself. though she’ll never come out with the actual story -- if asked on it, she’ll continuously tell a different thing with a deadpan expression so it’s really anyone’s best guess as to what’s real && what’s not.

⚫ she exhibited force sensitivity since she was a child but it didn’t get intensely strong && harder for her to hide until she was in her early teen years. for her safety she was taught to conceal && push down any force sensitivity she had && it helped with stunting her emotions as well growing up && she’s still unable to express emotions properly. she also continues to not tell anyone about it -- she keeps it hidden because she has to && she doesn’t want anyone to find out or put their lives in danger by being around her so she stays isolated usually now

⚫ on that note, she has problems with deep anger && when she gets angry or extremely emotional, she can’t conceal anymore but she also can’t exactly control the force as well as she’d like, at least in her main star wars verse where she doesn’t become a jedi or sith. she tries to keep it all bottled in but there’s been times on specific missions that she got upset by the contents or ended up not being able to save someone from a bounty where it got out of control && she unleashed a lot of it like she did back before she had to flee her planet.

⚫ she’s also a hypocrite -- she doesn’t have a high opinion of the jedi or being force sensitive because of how she was meant to conceal it && all the trouble it caused, getting people killed && forcing her into a very isolated && bitter life. but she also tends to use it for extremely mundane things like if she’s piloting && she needs something, she’ll use it to pull things to her or any other little things. but don’t call her out on it cause she’ll deny everything.

⚫ she found her droid, 0WL, when she was little && saved him from scrappers trying to sell him for parts. she used every bit of her savings && took him home && fixed him up herself. she’s pretty handy with mechanics && does maintenance on him herself -- she absolutely trusts no one with him && he’s always been her best friend, she’d kill for him even if he gets sassy with her sometimes but he’s useful && intensely loyal to cass. she’s not an expert on mechanics or anything -- she’s good -- but she’s way better at making weapons && beskar armour, it’s in her blood.

⚫ she takes whatever bounties she can get but she’s NEVER work for the empire / first order ( whichever depending on the timeline she’s set in ). she generally tries to stay in her own business but she absolutely loathes them && will step in when she sees them messing with people.

she also has a tendency to take on a lot of bounties people don’t want -- things that are either way too hard but pay a lot or things that don’t pay much or at all but are helping people out or for a good cause even if she seems grumpy about taking those jobs. she’s helped people out of servitude on several occasions just because she can’t sit by && watch it happen. she has a pretty fearsome reputation because she takes on a lot of challenging things && always comes through because she takes her job very seriously -- she absolutely won’t let any criminals doing terrible things walk free while she breathes. she has a lot of credits because of it && the frequency at which she picks up jobs but she never lives lavishly in the times she has a lot && tends to save what she doesn’t need.

⚫ she loves her ship && droid more than she loves her own life or anyone else’s for that matter.

#notgettingawaythistime #「 🌙 ◜ verse: star wars ◞ so are you gonna die today or make it out alive ? 」#「 🌙 ◜ headcanons ◞ i know i was meant for glory 」#「 🌙 ◜ answered ◞ yet every horizon seems near 」#[ THANK U I RLY JUST !! LOVE THIS VERSE SM !! its honestly one of my top big favourites abjsmhabd ]

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tishinada · 5 years

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I cannot begin to describe how disappointing I’ve found the beginning of the new expansion. It was everything I dreaded.

Switching factions was basically a lie, though they’d already told us that. But Imperials are basically reduced back to a flunky again from having potentially been an empress. You don’t even have the status in the Empire that you had at the end of the class stories.

The story...is just a rehash of “Kill Jedi!” Or “Sith bad!” Yay. Throw balloons and confetti. I’m still waiting to know why my character is supposed to care either way.

And after supposedly several years of working with a joint faction and learning to consider them people, we aren’t even offered the most obvious alternative - make sure the farming data gets into the hands of the Republic, the Empire (and the Alliance and Zakuul for that matter.) Or have the Alliance keep it for themselves and control the food supply! Or auction it! (if you’re DS.)

Nope. Apparently there can be only one set of data, ever, with no backups or copies and it’s only understandable to either Republic or Imperial scientists. For reasons.

New people, yay! Sassy Anri and Troubled Tau. Very well written and I loved both of them. Except, apparently I misunderstood and they don’t join the Alliance so...about 10 to 15 minutes worth of story with them and poof! They’re gone. Gee, the one positive thing in the entire story released today - Major Anri from the Imperial side and Tau from the Republic side - were basically waved under my nose and whisked away. Was basically reminding me that they have no intention of allowing us to get attached to any characters ever again. Except of course the ones that most of us don’t want.

They couldn’t have done anything to leave me more discouraged about their future direction than that, since our only real hope now that they won’t write anything for older companions is that they’ll give us content with new ones. They’ve just reminded me that we’re not allowed to get attached to anyone. Period. The only new one is...Melora? Seriously? The woman I sold out to her master on virtually every Sith character I had, lol?

I think the game basically ends for me with KotET...

#bioware critical #swtor critical #jedi under seige yawn #spoilers #jedi under siege spoilers

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kylo-ren-writes · 6 years

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Attraction, Part 10

I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX, X, epilogue

Pairing: Kylo Ren x Reader

Warnings: age gap, some fluff, angst

Tag List: @beautifulbows924 @celestiaelisia @bluudhavens @majestic-sith-queen @kyloren-supreme-ben @samarantha @kirah34 @redhairedfeistynerd @drtiberiussith @hoe-for-daddywise @bisexualbitchbabe @hostofthefirenation @ayatimascd @fralackles @imyourdreamwife @kylos-sassy-cousin @blxkstar @thesquidni @kylosskywalkers @ymariejp @sassyspacepizza @the-illustrator-of-melodies

A/N: I think this chapter is the best written chapter out of the ones I’ve written so far! Only the epilogue left now! Thank you to everyone that read this series! I hope you enjoyed it and I look forward to writing more series in the future! (Gif not mine!)

Kylo was the first to wake.

A warmth was against his chest, another body pressed against his. He found his arms wrapped around this unfamiliar thing, his sense of touch more aware as his eyes were still closed.

With dark brows furrowed, Kylo opened his eyes, slowly, to a dark room. His room.

Another person lied beside him, against him, their back towards him. But he wasn’t panicked or confused, rather his expression softened at the familiar energy through the force.

Sleeping soundly with your legs intertwined with his, your head occupying the bicep Kylo had underneath, and a small hand softly resting over his wrist, Kylo was more than aware of your presence.

He watched you quietly, breath caught in his throat as he watched you breathe silently and softly, content in his arms and in his bed. Kylo’s other arm was wrapped loosely around your waist, keeping you flush against his muscled chest.

It was as if you were some ethereal thing; a divine higher power with some form of power over him as you had him frozen beside you. He could not seem to simply stop staring at you, or at least what he could see of you with your back to him. Kylo was torn between selfishly waking you up with the affection he thought you deserved, and with allowing you to sleep longer. At least for the meantime Kylo just didn’t bother to move at all.

No one knew what it felt like to not get a proper amount of sleep better than Kylo did. It was the reason he was awake now, years of improper sleep had him awake at unusual times in the night or even asleep sometimes during the day if for some reason he had nothing minor scheduled for it. But then of course there were the nightmares.

Nightmares plagued Kylo’s sleep long before he had given into the dark side and joined his new master, Snoke. He knew now that Snoke had been the cause of them, but they still reigned on with or without the help of his master. Yet strangely, not a single nightmare had interrupted Kylo’s deep slumber. Now why was that?

His gaze seemed to focus back onto you, not that it hadn’t already been. But Kylo watched you with a new expression that still held the same softness as before, but with a slight drawn in brow.

Kylo had slept deeply and soundly, not stirring once throughout the whole night. And by glancing a look at the holoclock near your head, it was not an ungodly hour that Kylo found himself awake at. Perhaps early, earlier for most. But the two of you did manage to sleep for some of yesterday’s day and the night. In fact, Kylo was intrigued that you were still asleep. Maybe that was the effect you two had on eachother; a soundless, deep, satisfying sleep. He could live with that.

Pressing his face into the back of your head, Kylo couldn’t help but nuzzle his nose into your hair. He wasn’t going to wake you, or at least he did not want to, but he found himself unable to watch you further without touching you in some other way than he already was now.

When you didn’t manage to stir, Kylo’s chin tilted down to press a kiss to the back of your shoulder. Your skin was warm against his naturally full lips, reminding Kylo just how close the two of you really were.

He had almost forgotten the lack of clothes you wore, the training shirt he had given you not proving to be much. Even though it was rather long on you. It was completely sleeveless and left a large portion of your chest exposed. At least it did with the position you were lying in now, on your side. Kylo himself was only in a pair of underwear, his torso and legs exposed and naked against you. But he was sure you would not mind when you did wake, how could you?

When you did wake.

Was Kylo going to lie beside you until you woke up on your own? He wasn’t sure if he had the restraint to allow you to sleep for longer. Even with his lips pressed into your skin, how much longer could he go without doing anything more to potentially jostle you awake? He was not sure.

The thought was almost distracting, yet not distracting enough for Kylo to ignore that familiar pressure in the back of his skull that he could feel grow stronger at each passing second.

Snoke was calling to him.

Why? Why now? Why at this hour, before a normal person even started their day. Before even the officers and stormtroopers on the night shift switched out for others to begin the day shift. Why?

It did not take Kylo much time to think, however. And what he came up with relaxed him a bit.

He remembered the bond between you and him. Remembered how it had opened up yesterday after what the two of you had shared. He remembered it well and fondly. The sweet memory alone had the arm around your waist tightening on its own.

If his master wanted to speak to him about your bond, then perhaps that was ok. Perhaps Snoke had further instructions to give before the day officially started and so did your training. That idea eased Kylo some more, not fully, but enough.

Now Kylo only needed to somehow manage to get out of bed and untangle himself from you without disturbing your peaceful sleep. It would be difficult.

Kylo untangled is legs from yours first, carefully and slowly. You didn’t even twitch at the loss, which encouraged Kylo to keep going. When his legs were free from yours, he removed the arm from around your waist next. That was easier, all Kylo had to do was lift it. The next part, however, would be the most difficult.

With your pretty head still resting easily onto his arm and your hand clutching onto his wrist, Kylo would have to be as careful as he possibly could. Luckily, since you were in fact still asleep, the grip you had on his wrist was soft. Soft enough to where he could carefully pluck your hand off and gently set it down onto the bed. And when he did, Kylo was left with only your head on his bicep.

Kylo stared down at you. He couldn’t resist it anymore. His lips flew down to your face, pressingly a soft kiss to your cheek. He brushed some of your hair back and kissed you again then again, lips landing in different spots, some on your cheek, one on your nose. The last kiss he managed to land before you finally seemed to stir, was on the corner of your mouth. There, Kylo’s lips lingered the longest.

“Shh,” Kylo whispered, kissing you again as his chest hovered over you, grazing you slightly. He wanted to urge you to stay asleep with his soft reassurance.

Your brows furrowed the slightest, not quite waking, or barely waking at all actually. But Kylo used the opportunity to slip his arm from under your head carefully, allowing your head to softly rest onto a pillow instead.

Kylo’s long fingers grazed against your forearm, the one whose fingers had just been holding onto his wrist before. His face rested against the side of yours, lips still pressing into the soft skin of your face as he whispered you back to sleep. “It’s alright, little one. Relax, go back to sleep.”

You didn’t need very much encouragement, he found. Seconds later your face was relaxing out of its furrowed brow and slight frown as he could feel you slip back to sleep through the bond. He was relieved yet guilty that he had even woken you up to begin with.

With one last careful kiss to your cheek, Kylo lifted his face from yours and pulled the hand touching your arm away, and slowly got out of bed. He did not want to leave you, not in the slightest. But Snoke was calling to him and he had to obey and go.

Kylo stepped over the clothes he had thrown onto the floor yesterday, a dark mixture of his and yours at his feet. He disregarded them for now, even though the memory brought a small smirk to his lips as he paced over to his closet. He put on his regular set of dark robes before going into the bathroom to clean his mouth and fix his hair.

It was then that Kylo remembered that he had left his helmet in the training room yesterday when he had taken you here. He cursed to himself quietly, remembering that you were still here and that he still did not want to wake you.

His anger simmered beneath the surface, but Kylo kept himself controlled. All he had to do was go retrieve it. Not many people would be out, his identity would be, for the most part, safe. Everything was fine. Everything would be fine.

Kylo took a few measured breaths anyway, wanting to push that rage he felt building to the back of his mind and away. It wouldn’t be useful now nor would it solve his little problem of retrieving his helmet from the training room.

Striding out of the bathroom, Kylo felt his heart stutter inside his chest. There you lied, turned over onto his side where he had been minutes ago, your face buried into his pillow. A quick check into the force told him you were still asleep, but that didn’t make leaving you feel any better than it did. Yet Snoke pressed on. Kylo could feel his master grow impatient, he had already taken too much time in pulling away from you and getting dressed. He needed to go now.

Kylo passed the bed on his way out, offering you one last warm gaze before he left his bedroom and turned down the small, narrow hall that led to a living area and the blastdoor to his quarters. The blastdoor opened for him and closed behind him once he stepped out into the barren corridor.

It was odd for Kylo to step out of the safety of his quarters without his mask to guard his emotions and hide his face. Anyone could walk past him now and see Kylo Ren. The idea made him hesitate the slightest, but with Snoke pressing into the back of his skull, Kylo turned down the hallway towards the training room.

Kylo couldn’t sense much energy as he took long strides down the hall, moving further away from you with each step. He turned down a corner. Not many officers or stormtroopers frequented this area, much to Kylo’s relief right now. But he knew he would sense it if that changed. Why should he care anyway? He was Kylo Ren. Mask or no mask, it didn’t make him any less powerful. He was still a powerful force user that could choke a stormtrooper out if his thoughts so much as acknowledged his appearance.

It didn’t take long for Kylo to get to the training room. He walked in, instantly spotting his helmet exactly where he had left it yesterday, and with a flick of his wrist, he summoned it to his hand with the force. He couldn’t help the relief that flooded through him at having the security of his helmet back into his gloved hands. Kylo quickly placed it onto his head, his vision shrouded, and his confidence raised back up to par.

With a staticky breath through the vocoder, Kylo turned right around and stormed back out of the training room, picking up speed with his strides as a new destination popped into his head. Now he just needed to get to the lift that would take him up to his master.

It was almost like a checklist, he realized. He was checking things off out of the things he had to do before he could return back to you. Was it bad that he was that attached already? He would refuse to think of himself as needy, even if that’s what he was.

The closer Kylo got to the lift, the more life he sensed around him. Stormtroopers stood at their posts while some patrolled the halls under orders. Busy officers passed by him, keeping a distance at their familiar, dark commander. Kylo knew he sparked fear into the people that saw him. Knowing it made a smirk curl up one corner of his mouth in satisfaction. They should be afraid of him. It sure made getting by and closer to the lift easier. Everyone seemed to simply move out of the way for him.

Kylo stepped onto the lift, barely waiting for the doors to fully open before slipping inside. Snoke was waiting.

There wasn’t even an ounce of anxiety eating at his chest as he was lifted up. Kylo was confident in Snoke and trusted him completely like the loyal apprentice that he was. The bond opening up between you and him was a good thing, it meant that Kylo could continue on with his training, and get closer to the future he could have with you.

He could see it in his head, the day his training was complete. The day he was no longer an apprentice but a master. A master of the dark side with you by his side. And Kylo would continue training you, making you his apprentice with Snokes approval. He was sure his master would allow it, in due time. He had to.

Kylo’s attention returned back to the present when the doors opened, revealing the redness of Snokes throne room to him. The familiar praetorian guards stood at the edges of the vast room with Snoke at the end and in its center, there to protect him from any threat. Although Kylo was sure the man could hold off his own.

Kylo stalked forward, signature clenched fists at his sides, robes billowing out at his feet, and helmeted head held high. He couldn’t help the good mood he was in. It was the same mood he felt when Snoke praised him for something he had done well, or when he had managed to aggravate the orange haired General back on Star Killer.

However, as Kylo neared his master sitting on his large throne, satisfaction is not what he could sense rolling off of him. It confused him but it didn’t falter his gait, and soon enough Kylo was before the tall man, kneeling down before him respectfully like he always did.

Kylo could not see Snokes expression with the way he had his neck bent down in submission to his master. But he could feel the disapproval.

Had he done something wrong? Something he had forgotten or failed to do? Kylo racked his brain for anything that Snoke could be angry at, but he came up with nothing.

“Rise,” Snoke ordered with a harsh sneer. What had Kylo done? From underneath his helmet he furrowed his dark brows.

Kylo stood back up at Snokes order, keeping calm as he tilted his head the slightest to gaze up at his masters towering form. He was smaller in person than he made himself appear over his holos.

“I warned you, Kylo Ren, not to get too close to the girl,” Snoke began. Kylo was still confused, but he did not interrupt. “And what have you done, but exactly that.” Snoke eyes flickered over his apprentice, scrutinizing him with a morphed expression of disgust.

Snoke couldn’t be referring to what you and Kylo had shared yesterday, could he? It left him confused. He had already tried forging a bond with Kira in that exact same way, why was it suddenly a problem? “Master, I have only done what has been done with Kira in the past. But it worked this time, the bond—“

“I am not referring to that,” interrupted Snoke. His master was giving him a look that had all of his anxiety slamming into his chest unlike it had failed to do before.

The bond, Snoke was not referring to the bond or the time you had shared. Then what could he be referring to, what had Kylo done that... Realization came quicker to Kylo than he wanted it to.

“I warned you, Kylo Ren, not to get too close to the girl.”

Kylo’s lips parted. No. Oh no. He had been careless, distracted, stupid. Kylo was so engrossed with you that he had completely forgotten to hide how he felt for you. The emotions he had felt while he was fucking you—no, making love to you, were completely on display to his master. Snoke could sense them all and everything after. He probably even felt the love Kylo had for you after he woke up with you in his arms.

Kylo tried to quickly fumble for words. “Master, I—“

“Save it.” Snoke glared down at his apprentice, snuffing Kylo’s attempts at an excuse.

How could he excuse it anyway? Kylo cared for you, he felt for you. You were his and his alone. To love and protect. You belonged to him, you were supposed to be with him. He couldn’t help the panic that ate at his heart. Somehow he knew what Snoke was going to do, now he was just waiting for the words to leave his deformed mouth.

“You’re weak and foolish, and you’ve failed.”

Smokes words rang out inside of his head, but yet they were not the words that Kylo was waiting for. Kylo knew that disappointing Snoke should be where his worry lied, but it wasn’t, and Kylo fully understood now.

“It is obvious to me that the girl will no longer do, she will no longer aid in your training.” Snokes voice no longer held contempt, but he was still unimpressed.

“Master—“ Kylo tried to reason, but the cold hard stare Snoke fixed him with shut him up.

There was no way around this, Kylo knew.

“She will be taken away immediately,” Snoke continued on. “The girl is a distraction, and I will not have her deter you away from your destiny.”

Kylo tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat, fists tighter than ever at his sides. No. No, no, no, no. He had promised that no one would take you away from him. He didn’t want anyone to take you away from him.

“You’re weak. I thought you were stronger than this, but it is obvious to me that you are not. You have allowed a girl from your past to weaken you, and this act shall not go unpunished. I have already given orders for her to be removed from your quarters immediately.” Snoke had a satisfied look on his face, finally.

Everything else but the “I have already given orders for her to be removed from your quarters immediately,” Kylo forgot. He was angry, seething, and seeing red.

Before Kylo could think wiser, he started towards his master in a fit of rage. However, he only managed two steps before the painful force of Snokes force lighting shot him backwards across the room

The back of Kylo’s head slammed against the floor, causing an ache to register through the helmet. He slid a bit of distance across the floor, groaning underneath his helmet at the pain coursing throughout his body.

Snoke was yelling something at him and the praetorian guards had their weapons drawn, but Kylo wasn’t registering any of it. All he could feel was the pain from the force lightning and the pain of you being ripped away from him. He could feel the bond being severed between the two of you, throwing him completely out of your mind and making him unaware to what you were feeling or going through right now. It was agonizing.

Kylo lied back on the floor unmoving. This was worse than when Snoke had taken your memories of him. You were still there, still around. But now Snoke was taking you away from him and it felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest.

His world was crumbling and the back of his head was throbbing, and his body was in pain. But what was most prevalent of them all was that Kylo’s heart was shattered, his plans of a bright future gone.

#kylo ren #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren imagines #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo ren x you #kylo x reader #kylo ren imagine #kylo fanfiction #kylo #kylo x you #attraction fic #kylo ren star wars #star wars kylo ren #star wars imagine #star wars fan fiction

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thatfirehairedshifter · 2 years

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IMPORTANT VERSE UPDATE! Possible triggering content under the read more!!!

This is kind of a long, disjointed post. But bear with me.

Because I love and adore it so much, my MAIN Star Wars verse is going to be the one I write with @griefdestined. In this verse, Kassandra and Obi-Wan are biological siblings. Obi-Wan is still a Jedi and General. Basically, their parents gave birth to Obi and he was taken and became the sassy Jedi we know and love.

Years later, they had Kass. When she was a baby, people her parents thought were Jedi took her. They were not Jedi, but instead people who experimented on her and kidnapped her. They were killed(just like in my normal lore for her) and she was on the run for many years, constantly being captured by various groups that wanted to find out why she could shapeshift. Many times, it was the Sith or the Empire. She would always escape, but they would still find her. This happened for thirteen years, until the day Obi-Wan rescued her. Finally free, she began working with the Republic and eventually found herself as a hand maiden and protector for Padme, while growing close to Obi-Wan and his adoptive family, considering Obi-Wan the closest thing she had to a brother. After some time, they came to realize that they were in fact, biological siblings, a moment she will never forget. Unofficially adopting his last name, she realized she finally had the family she always wanted.

There is no one in the galaxy Kass trusts more than her brother. She would die for him, and he would do the same to her. They love each other very much.

#this is not to say i wont do other sw things #they'll just be an au #out of shifts #that being said #JAIME WE NEED TO THREAD THEM FINDING OUT

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rainscribe · 3 years

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RP Drabble: Letters to Derek

<blockquote>characters: John Egbert (Jade’s universe, Homestuck), Various other characters relationship: John/Derek words: 7,491 location: Monster-au-stuck rating: Mature warnings: mentions of sexual content/desire, some violence mentions, but not delved into, mentions of an age-difference relationship. rough draft, un-betad summary: John goes on a trip to find all the trolls (except 2), and figure out what the hell he’s doing with his life through writing letters to the person his life has centered on for the past months. </blockquote>[[MORE]]<blockquote>june 17dear derek, </blockquote> so. jade said i should write you letters while you were gone and at first i  thought that was really dumb? but then a part of me was like, fuck yeah! i’ve never written a letter before. there was no need to, right? yet i always wanted to! even in middle and high school i would try really hard to get pen pals because that was the only way i could write letters. those never panned out. /: anyway, so i guess i’m just going to tell you how my trips are going! first of all, i haven’t actually traveled out of state yet? i’m on a bus right now heading out, but jade and dave kind of thought i already left to go to far off places. so i told them! hah. (dave kissed me goodbye. it was terrible. you should kiss me when you get back so i remember what good kisses are like.) i get distracted way too much. point is! i met some of the local trolls in this area. and a guy who kind of reminded me of you? but a looooooot younger and clearly has not gone through the same shit as you. and also a guy who was kind of shy but seemed cool. then there was this DOUCHEBAG of a SLEEZE. like seriously he was hitting on me the whoooooollllle time i was at latula’s auto repair shop. she was really cool! she knew karkat, this really funny, shouty troll that’s basically married to ava (you didn’t hear this from me, though!) wait. do you even know about trolls? like this is not the magical supernatural kind of troll. this is the alien kind of troll with candy corn horns and gray skin. eh, i’ll probably inform you about them before you even get this! if i give it to you. i probably should. the mail should always be delivered to its recipient! alright but so there was the douchebag whose name was cronus and he had an unlit cigarette in his mouth? he’s so weird. and he has scars like harry potter but he is such a fraud. i could kick his ass. i would have too! but this guy named horuss (another troll! 0: ) stopped me. and latula. there were like these three trolls around the area of the mechanic shop. and you know how much of a douchebag cronus was? well, he did kind of introduce me to meenah and porrim who are pretty radical people in their own right! he was like, ‘hey john, i bet you want to meet some a grade ladies.’ i kind of rolled my eyes, and reminded him that i was taken! he was just like, ‘that’s ok, that’s ok. these are trolls. i know how all about trolls you are.’ then he takes me out. like to dinner. he literally did. but i couldn’t say no? because he was going to take me to meet some troll ladies. i made sure of that. also, the restaurant he took me to was high grade shit. i feasted that night. and maybe got a little tipsy off of some really bubbly champagne? it was so light, my tongue danced. damn. i really need to remember what it was called? because i want you to try it! afterwards, his friends stumbled upon us, singing and laughing on the street towards their establishment. meenah was mad at me for some reason? i can’t remember but she still let me sleep on her couch. she’s very prickly towards me and then she stuffs my face full of pancakes. it’s hilarious. porrim is a bit more mature? but then she kicks everyone’s ass at mario kart. even latula! it was hilarious. then she and latula

got in a cuddle pile while meenah and cronus hooted before getting kicked out. it was kind of awkward to stick around after that! so i grabbed this bus, and i’m taking it down to las vegas. B) ill tell you all about it! im really more interested about the magic shows than the gambling, although, i’m curious to try my luck. o:love,johnnote: i wonder how good rose would be at gambling? note 2: the champagne was called ca’del bosco cuvee prestige brut, franciacorta for future reference! <hr><blockquote>june 19dear derek, </blockquote> heh i almost wrote deer. deer derek. that would be the exact opposite of what you are. so cute i’d eat you all up. and out. in a sexual innuendo-y way? damn. vegas is... not the best place to go alone? it basically throws it in your face that you’re a loser and alone. there’s strippers in pretty much every gambling house, and it’s like yeah ok that’s nice and all, but my boyfriend is so much hotter and i’d rather see him stripping? not that i stayed and watched. it was... awkward. uh. yeah... the magic shows were really cool, though! although... most of them weren’t reeealyl magic. but that’s the cool thing! theyre pretendin g to be magicians through sligth of hand and like foolin everyone. it’s ridicuoulously funny! i hahaha m laughi n too much. everything is hilarioius. hilarious. hiclarious. shit im too durnk to finsh this. looooovvev you wow that was embarrassing. i actually fell asleep on this letter. i’m so glad i’m not handing this over. this is amazingly embarrassing. las vegas is cool but bring a friend. moral of the story. love,john<hr><blockquote>june 21dear derek,</blockquote> i met kanaya. i feel like that should be a sentence in and of itself. its importance is there on the table for you to take it up, or just let it stay. in this case you’re going to pick it up because kanaya? is so amazing. like you’re amazing, but then kanaya is Amazing. she uses a fucking chainsaw to do like tree designs? she is a lumberjack in disguise as the classiest sith in existence? i feel like rose would have fun trying to figure out how that happened. speaking of rose she’s the one who told me to go meet her? as a favor for jade who knew karkat who is a worry wart. literal worry wart. he is a wart. but kanaya fed me and made me tea and was very nice in general even when i trolled her and she had nooooo clue! i pranked her. i know it was wrong. it’s bad manners to prank someone in their own house! but she was asking for it, derek! she was so... so... like okay she is sassy. the SASSIEST. but then she like stands so upright and makes you feel like you’re wearing a potato sack. which i would look amazing in. kanaya is just jealous that i can make a potato sack look good! >:) i just HAD to prank her. and when the bucket landed on her head... she blushed SO HARD. i took a picture. i sent it to karkat. his reaction was JUST AS HILARIOUS. like look at this shit: Karkat: JOHN. I’M GOING TO POLITELY ASK YOU TO FUCKING BLOCK ME FROM YOUR PHONE. FOREVER. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. he actually blocked me! i can’t believe it!! rude!!! <hr><blockquote>june 23dear derek,</blockquote> i’m in texas!! i feel like i had to write you a special letter from this special state that you were in for like... twenty years? nineteen? i’m not even sure how long you were here for. anyway, so karkat finally unblocked me. long enough to school me in why it was rude to send bucket pictures of someone he regards as a friend (and maybe more?? he didn’t make it very clear.) to him. i guess it threw him in such a good yelling spree that ava says i’m banned from their house. :( i’m waiting at the airport right now. my flight should be here in a bit. i’m going to florida because that’s where the zombie apocalypse is going to start and i need to know the layout of the land, but

it’s kind of boring here. annnnd i may be in a grumpy mood because all of these people meeting and hugging is making me irritated. maybe it’s because i know i probably won’t get a similar greeting from you? that’s gross, i know. ew, john, pda. besides, jade and dave will greet me. maybe i’ll kiss dave. show him how a kiss should really be! not in front of willow, though. the poor child. we must protect her from the pda. my flight isn’t for another hour, and i’m so bored. i don’t even have anything interesting to write about except that i’m in texas. maybe i’ll draw you something? [insert badly drawn art of a wolf] hahaha that fucking sucks. sweet bro and hella woof. [new drawing of sweet bro on a hella jeff wolf] look at this fucking amazing drawing. it should be in l’ouvre. right? right? ... what... the fuck... WHAT THE FUCK, DEREK. HOW DID DAVE’S SHITTY WEBCOMIC TURN INTO A MOVIE. I WAS JUST LAUGHING ABOUT THIS, AND I LOOK UP AND THERE’S SHITTY JPEG PIXELATION OF SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF ON A BILLBOARD. how did his webcomic make it to this world??? IS YOUR LIL BRO RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS SHIT?? what the hell. what has come over the world that they would pay twenty bucks to see his webcomic come to life. holy shit. oh. well... that was an interesting way of wasting an hour. i’ll talk to you later.love you, john<hr><blockquote>june 24dear derek, </blockquote> FLORIDA IS TERRIBLE AND AMAZING ALL AT ONCE. seriously, though? fuck florida. i’m pretty sure everyone i met is secretly a crocodile. especially this toothy detective i stumbled upon. quite literally. i was just minding my own business being a tourist and she comes over like you just committed a crime! and i said what? because i’m pretty sure i wasn’t even JAYWALKING. and she said that she was pretty sure loitering around like a bumbling dunce was a crime in her jurisdiction and i said well if that’s the case then you should arrest yourself! (ooooooo!) she laughed. swallowed her donut. (whole! the whole fucking thing. i am not even lying. you can see it in action yourself!) then went to her police car, which was actually being driven by someone else. she’s blind, you see! which makes no sense on how she would know i was loitering! here i was hoping florida would be nice. :( but i guess it’s true. all floridians are secretly crocodiles. love, john<hr><blockquote>june 25dear derek, </blockquote> terezi pyrope is terrible. utterly. terrible. you know what the first thing she said to me was? like after the whole loitering business in the previous letter. she said, “ew, smells like dog.” and then she pinched her nose. like seriously? how rude! i mean, at that point she kind of knew i was a werewolf. see. she, well, she... alright! she fucking caught me naked, and was like that’s illegal and profane, get in the car. cause i guess she’s a cop detective. whatever. see what happened was... i didn’t have a hotel to sleep in? and i was like no big deal! i can live in the great outdoors in fucking florida and be fine! that was SUCH a stupid idea, derek, you have NO idea. first off, let me repeat myself. FLORIDA IS TERRIBLE. there’s CROCODILES, and SNAKES, and all sorts of evil things. why i thought it would fun sleeping outside instead of in a hotel, i don’t know, but i won’t make THAT mistake again. and you know what i did that was even worse than that? i shifted. i took off my clothes and shifted. when i woke up in the morning, i was butt naked and terezi fucking pyrope had my clothes held hostage. she was in jogging clothes then so i guess she was taking a morning hike in the park, and she spied me. then she waited until i woke up, and made the comment about how i smelled like dog, and that i was violating public decency laws!!! she almost threw me in jail. :( your boyfriend is a criminal, i am so sorry,

derek. but i got her back! for the smell comment, i mean. i was like well you smell like a bug so that must mean you’re a troll! she laughed, and took me to out to eat after giving me back my clothes. i got her up to date on what happened with karkat, and she asked about the guy whose glamour i had? i couldn’t really tell her much about that, though. just that karkat gave it to me, and that had her frowning. like she was concerned or something. beats me! she made some unnecessary rude faces at me, too. but i eventually convinced her to move to seattle because i’m awesome. and she told me that there was a troll up in canada that i should find? (i’m on a plane heading up there now!) she chuckled evilly, so i’m not sure if i trust her or what. also i’m actually not sure what bugs smell like? but that’s what trolls smell like. why does your universe have so many bug humanoids? even my alt is part bug. which is kind of weird! because i can’t imagine myself being a fairy. although, the fact that he’s a lightning bug is pretty cool. they’re charming bugs. if i had to pick a bug, i’d pick that. but it’s still weird! and i kind of wonder what dave’s bro was like in my universe! if i would have liked him like i love you. but from what dave has said, he kind of sounds like a total dick, and in the worst of ways, despite the way dave tries to make it SOUND positive. like i understand that he doesn’t want his guardian to sound terrible, and wants to treasure the memory, but he kind of is terrible! and abusive. and manipulative. (i don’t think i could love that kind of person.) but your dave said that he was getting some memories from my dave, so i wonder if you’re getting memories from his bro? i hope not. you’re supposed to be going through therapy to help you with your control. not needing more therapy to help sort out any fucked up memories that might have you confusing your own experiences. especially with dave. because i know that argument really had you questioning how you treated him! but i trust that you aren’t as bad as his bro. i know you’re not. honestly, though, sometimes i wonder why my dad lived while Rose, Jade, and Dave all lost their guardians and had to go through some sort of social services. like! i know i was adopted, too, but it happened when i was really young so i barely remember anything. when rose’s mom died, rose lived by herself, and actually did well maintaining the lie that her mom hadn’t died really well until she came to school drunk once. they found out everything then, and forced her to stay in social services until they found a good family (impossible when she was fifteen and no one wanted to adopt a kid that old), or until she was eighteen, and they couldn’t keep her. then you have dave who went through a couple of terrible people, and decided, fuck it, and escaped. of course, he ended up in a gang. jade said she ended up getting emancipated from the system. but that was after going through a couple of people, and being able to live off her inheritance. huh, rose received an inheritance, too. i wonder why dave didn’t? anyway. this letter has gotten kind of long and rambly, so i guess i’m going to cut it off here. the plane is landing soon in new york too. after that i will be in the country of the ‘eh!’ also, maple syrup. i should buy some and mail it to the house! yeah! we’ll make pancakes when we’re both home! see you later!love,john<hr><blockquote>june 28dear derek, </blockquote> man! new york is so cool! i went and saw the statue of liberty, and went up in the empire state building. it’s amazing! i was so high up!! i wish i could fly. it would be sooo cool. why aren’t there any flying werewolves? even dave can fucking levitate, but you don’t see him doing it that often! it’s a waste of being able to levitate! :( but!! i did see a magic show, and people did some moves through the air. they were attached to a

cord, i think?? (unless they were supernatural! O: ) and yeah they did some neat things. i want to do neat things like that. like fake flying. fake magic. i wouldn’t mind any of it at all. although real flying would be better than fake flying. oh, and there were a couple of other places i stopped by?? i actually decided to take a bus from new york to canada because i wanted to see niagra falls! it was being advertised as one of the biggest falls in the u.s.? even though it’s really not that big. they’re just long! but it was really cool. i even got to go behind the falls and got a rinky dink yellow rain jacket for my time. there were a lot of people getting married there, too. or proposing. i guess it’s a really attractive place to proclaim your love to someone? huge ass waterfalls in the background and a diamond ring to tell you i will love you for as long as the waterfalls remain. i wonder what would happen if the falls collapsed. would their love vanish? would their hearts break? this is why you can’t rely on physical things for love. not even the stars last forever. jupiter might, though. didn’t shakespeare do a sonnet about love? do i compare thee to a evening something or other. shakespeare died but his sonnets (and plays) will last forever. i don’t think i’ll be able to write something so powerfully gay to you, so i won’t. because i can’t write. i’ll leave that up to rose.love,johnp.s. don’t ask rose a general question like, did shakespeare write sonnets because she will chew your head off and read all of his sonnets to you.<hr><blockquote>june 30dear derek,</blockquote> i don’t... canada... ... i... words are escaping me. like tavros. TAVROS. is just as bad as terezi. he is terribad. but in this nerdy way that drives me up the wall. no wonder terezi was smiling evilly!! between her and tavros i’m at my wits end with these trolls!!! at least terezi was willing to move to washington. tavros was like ...hahaha... that sounds interesting but if you’re gathering up all the trolls, then i think not. and he goes back to playing the troll equivalent of poKEMON!!! and when i said that humans came up with pokemon first, he was all, trolls have been around longer than you have, so i’m pretty sure we came up with it first. i just can’t believe him! i’m so fucking glad i’m leaving canada!! john<hr><blockquote>july 2dear derek,</blockquote> i stopped by... well. your house as i was passing through on my way to hawaii! well technically, i’m on my way to japan. but i’m going to hawaii first! it’s going to be awesome! but i saw jade, dave, and willow on my way through, and it looks like they’re all doing fine! willow already has a tooth cut through and she’s looking really adorable. she has a lot more hair now. and her eyes have set on taking after dave’s. it’s about time some features of his started showing through. the harleybert genes are strong. B) i missed being there surprisingly! your bed still smelled like you. it is pretty big. hard to get all of your manly smell out of it no matter how hard i rolled around in it and tried to cover it up with my manly smells. :) it was actually difficult to leave! for like a day. then rose was like, john you must be in japan at this certain spot when the aligns to meet the next trolls, and i was like ok, cool! japan seems awesome. this seemed important! see, what i’ve kind of been doing with this trip is getting an idea of where all the trolls are at. they don’t necessarily have to move to washington (and if they do decide to do that, we’re having them live with mom!), but we’d kind of like to know a more specific location on where they’re all at. and maybe get updated contact information, lol. i think rose is even creating a group facebook so we can all keep in contact! which is a pretty fucking good idea. oh, and jim john is also working on it, too. so is

the other rose? they’re all very good at the whole predict-y thing. i don’t even know sometimes. they just tell me where to go, and i go. that’s all. not too much excitement going on right now, though! so i’ll talk to you later. after hawaii B)love,johnp.s. i’ll make sure i take a hot picture for you! B) <hr><blockquote>[Postcard with the Hawaiian islands on the side. Attached with a paperclip is a picture of john in regular clothes by a volcano. fireworks are going off in the background.]july 4derek! </blockquote>hawaii is fantastic! wish you were here! i hope you enjoy the super hot pic! xoxoxo<hr><blockquote>july 9dear derek,</blockquote> hey! i’m in japan right now! i am extremely sadden that there’s no anime japan. i was seriously thinking i’d see totoro here!! i’m so disappointed. heh, just kidding. but japan sure is different than what i expected. i dunno. i guess it’s just the language barrier that got to me? that oh i really am out of my country feel. it’s a good thing we didn’t go here first, or you would have worst off. cars are backwards AND a different language you can barely understand? it would have been bad, pfff. it’s still really amazing, though! i went to tokyo tower, and saw some of the sights. i ate ramen in a ramen booth and felt like naruto for a minute. that’s where i met rufioh! he’s a pretty chill dude. doesn’t seem to have much backbone, but i liked him. and damara! i liked her, too. she seemed pretty nice despite the illegal amounts of weed she smoked. is weed illegal in japan? i don’t know. but yeah she DEFINITELY did not want to come back. when i even suggested it, she gave me the vilest look, and if it weren’t for rufioh, she’d have... well. done really bad things to me! there was a summer festival going on, and i didn’t have a kimono, but i got to join in. damara looked really pretty in a kimono! she took it off shortly after it started and i think some people were kind of scandalized. not because she was naked, but i guess you’re supposed to look kind of nice for these festivals? and she was definitely wearing a very short school girl outfit with her midriff showing. she seemed pretty happy, though. i kind of feel really sympathetic towards her? for some reason? anyway, they let me stay for a little while, and showed me some of the other neat things about tokyo. it was nice. i liked learning about the tokyo you don’t often see about in anime. i feel like you would enjoy japan if you became more comfortable with traveling? i even bought you a shitty samurai sword, and shipped it back home. love,johnp.s. don’t tell my dad, but i tried the weed.<hr><blockquote>july 12dear derek,</blockquote> hey! i’m going to be doing a lot of traveling between here (tibet) to maybe europe? yeah. there’s just a lot of take-offs and landings that’ll be happening and shit gets boring, y’know? i have a long flight from here to california, though, so i’m hunkering in for a nice little ride. i hadn’t even considered that i could have been asking for first class tickets. sometimes it startles me that jade has SO much money that we could just... not even pay attention to what we’re buying and just buy a fuckton of stuff that’s like hundreds of thousands of dollars, or more! we could buy a fucking island and we wouldn’t even notice that it took a nice skim off the bulk of her money. one thing jade told me was that even for as much money they have, we’re still accumulating money, too? from the investments and stocks that were purchased, too. like her grandpa had a really good mind to money! also i think she’s taking an interest in checking on what companies we have stocks in, and seeing what we can do to change those companies for the better. she’s always thinking about the future and about what can be done better. it’s amazing. sometimes i wish i had about a sixth of the motivation she has. i haven’t really felt

like there was anything for me to do. i feel like i’ve been so GROUNDED that i don’t have any room to go forward or that there was anything i wanted to do. i guess... i feel like i’m stagnating. i’m not flowing or moving or learning or... growing? as a person. as a werewolf? i’m just growing duller and more inactive everyday and it’s driving me up the wall! it’s funny because i have been traveling, but the more i’ve been traveling, the more i feel like i’m not getting anywhere. ... i saw kankri yesterday? i guess he’s related to karkat in some way, but i don’t know. he’s definitely not how i pictured a relative of karkat’s acting? other than the never shutting up part. he turned down the whole move to washington thing, but told me that i should go to niger. so that’s where i’m going now. i’m tired. goodnight,john<hr><blockquote>july 18dear derek,</blockquote> hey. sorry i haven’t been writing. like i said... there were a lot of planes to change, and i mostly slept on my flights. i saw terezi again for a little while. crashed on her couch between a flight from california and a flight to morocco. she said she hoped i liked nepeta and that she’d chew my head off, hopefully. she was packing up, too, and showed me some younger pictures of glamoured, and unglamoured karkat. it was cute. i sent the pictures to ava who was more than happy to receive them, but karkat banned me from the house, so i’ve officially been banned by both members of that household. i feel sort of accomplished with that. after terezi’s, i went to morocco, which is absolutely gorgeous. the architecture and colors are divine. the market is really fun. i haggled with a couple of vendors, and manage to get some souvenirs shipped back, too. i make really good investments! nepeta was as cute and dangerous as terezi deemed her to be. she’s a werelion? but she only shifts when leo is in the sky. she can’t shift during any other time frame. she had fun hunting me down. i thought i was being fucking stalked by a literal lion, not a fake shifter lion (don’t tell her i said that, she’ll chew my head off). you’ll get to meet her. she said she was interested, and after i gave her some money for an airplane, she decided to head that way. then i went to egypt. i saw the pyramids, and didn’t get too taken advantage of. (who am i kidding. they took complete advantage. i can’t hide the fact that i’m an american tourist no matter how dark my skin is. i honestly don’t even mind that much, although i’m pretty sure they thought i was as dull as a rock.) they really like tea in egypt, too? which is kind of surprising, but it shouldn’t be. like basically anything non-western is all over tea, and westerners are all over coffee. pretty funny, considering how tea is supposed to be better for you anyway. egypt is hooooooooot, too. not hot like texas hot which is also kind of a wet and humid hot that makes you feel like you’re suffocating, but a heat that’s just really hot. which... is really weird to say. it doesn’t make you sticky, just sweat a lot. i can kind of understand why they wear a lot of clothes now! the clothes contain the coolness of your body in the heat, and also keep the sun off you. which is really good! but i didn’t stay in egypt for too long. i went to greece next, because nepeta asked me to check in on someone very impurrtant to her. he worked at a museum in greece which, yknow, showcased the greek statues and shit. at first, he didn’t seem all that interested, especially when i didn’t show proper respect to the relics of the ancient world. (which is funny because under his breath he’d mutter about how even what we considered to be great achievements for humans, they had very little on alternian achievements, especially in the fine arts.) yet, the moment i mentioned nepeta’s name he fucking clams up, and is like oh great master egbert what can i do for you? if only you’ll tell me where she’s at. so i told

him she was in washington, and i saw him run off to his work office to put in his two weeks, or tell them he was quitting or something. i don’t know. i kind of didn’t care at that point? i was just glad that it was taken care of. so that’s what i was up to until now, basically. it’s all been rather boring despite the sites. i’ve taken to couch hopping, and whenever someone tells me i should go somewhere, i just go? because what else am i going to do? i haven’t really heard anything from home, so i guess this will work for now. there’s a beer festival or something happening in germany tomorrow. i’m in austria right now, but i think i’ll stop by and see if anything catches my interest. love,john <hr><blockquote>july 20dear derek,</blockquote> heheheeeee i’mmmmm drunk agian. i met thsi girl trlol named vriask and we haad a fight! but with abeet bert. beer. tryin ta out do each other ykonw? and now i’m crasshed at her uh place? car? i dunno what it is. too big ta be a car??? i’m so confusde. anway dont matter. what mATTERS is the iMPORTANT things in lief. and how much i lovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vv vv ve ya. is that enogh v? i think so. viraks was tellin me abutt how she lovd the tavroos guy. idk why he sucKS but like shhe did? idk toot drunk to make out waht shes talkin’ about but it was funny. i think? i think everything is funny right now. except how fukcing turned on i am and how ur not here. i mayb cry bc your not here to help my bonr. but not really. just cry cause im lonely which is wierd. casue brskira is here yknow? id kiss you allllllllll over and jsut touch. idonteven want ta get off. nah thats a lie i toets do.hahaha vriska just belched gdo shes hialarioous. <hr><blockquote>july 28, 4pmdear derek,</blockquote> it feels weird not writing to you for so long! i’ve kind of been busy. and vriska won’t let me write to you when i’m drunk! (thank goodness, to be honest.) i thought i was going to be so bored in europe, but i’m like the exact opposite! it’s great. and a lot of that has to do with vriska. she has all these irons in the fire, and she asks for my input too, but i’ve kind of been traveling with her. she’s been helping me out a lot, too! she said i looked utterly pitiable and that i should be lucky that she’s going out of her way to help me. i know that sounds kind of mean, but vriska has such a personality that it’s hard for her to be nice to anyone if it doesn’t look like she’s gaining something out of it. it’s funny how hard she tries to make it look like she doesn’t care. we’ve been to so many places, derek, it’s hard to believe. europe is pretty. it’s done a lot of recovery since world war ii but you can see where it’s still affected some areas. we mostly avoided those areas. vriska said they were lame. so! we went and visited a lot of neat places. mostly breweries. vriska really likes beer for some reason? even in italy she just wanted to go to the wine houses! which was fine because while she was at the wine houses, i went to venice. i really wish you could see venice some day. it’s beautiful. there’s canals everywhere, and statues of different beings. i would have thought with it being such a magical looking place, there would be a lot of supes there? but it felt... static... of any magic. there was nothing really supernatural about it. i guess that’s because when people go there, they’re ready to believe anything. even if it doesn’t fit in with their world. we watched a bunch of wrestlers in rome. vriska gambled on a bunch of different teams, and won us a lot of loot. she didn’t seem happy when she learned that i was only bumming it around because i was bored, and not that i was actually broke. she got mad? like the money she made wasn’t important i guess. but i told her any money was good money, and that it technically wasn’t my money, and she got over it. she’s a prideful troll! oddly

enough, she’s been helping me with the whole stagnated feeling, though? keeping her in check is a lot more interesting! but i get the feeling that i’m just passing on the whole complete focus thing from you to someone else. (not like that, though. i don’t find vriska attractive in those regards!) but like in paris, we went shopping, and we splurged a little (sorry, jade!), then i went and did a little magic show to these kids outside with vriska and it was just?? really great?! i missed doing slight of hand. i made so many kids smile, even adults! it was unreal. then we went out and got some balloons and just aired up hundreds of them with helium before letting them go. i think france kind of hates us, now! they didn’t really like what we did. afterwards, we went out into the country where they were doing an air ballon show, and we actually got to ride in them! it was really great. right now, we’re heading to spain. she says she wants to take some pictures of bulls for tavros, and i’m pretty sure i understand where she’s going with that. (tavros has bull horns.) it’s pretty mean, but he’s also a douche so i can’t help wanting to do it, too. i think vriska was more than a douche to tavros, though, so i’ll let her take the pics, then delete the images when she gets drunk off her victory later. rose called and told me i need to go to england soon! so i’ll probably do that, but when i told vriska that, she made a face. she has absolutely no interest in leaving the continental europe, so i don’t know if i’ll see her in washington or not! i hope so. i really like hanging out with her. there’s only a few more trolls to get information from, though, so i’ll hopefully be home soon! i miss you, and i can’t wait to see you when i get back. although, i’m thinking i’m going to have to find more to do than just... did i ever tell you why i started traveling? shit! can’t tell you right now. tell you later. <hr><blockquote>july 28, 11pm</blockquote> sorry about that! our ride was about to leave, and we just got to our dinky hotel room. it’s so small! there’s two single sized beds, and like barely a closet of a bathroom. vriska chooses the worst places to stay. i think she either goes to the richest, most luxurious place she can find, or the scummiest. there is no in-between with her. but! we’re really close to the bull ring, and that’s a bonus. anyway, so. why i even did this thing. hell, you might learn before i even hand this wad of papers over. (still debating on that! especially the drunk ones. man, i don’t know if i was just lonely, or if i wanted to write some thirteen year olds smut fantasy... but... yeah. if i were writing smut, i’d probably mention something about your rippling abs. c; ) wow. i really don’t want to tell you this. so i’m going to do it, anyway. what happened, was that in my boredom, i found out some rumors that this one house outside the city was haunted, and so i decided to go to see if i could find anything. with jade. honestly, i’m starting to feel really bad about this because it was the night dave proposed and everything. like they had sex in the living room. with fancy cushions and marshmallow creme... i... don’t even want to know where they put the creme at holy shit. (we should do that...) so jade and i went out to investigate the haunted house and some kids were there, too. i think they were about fifteen or sixteen? maybe older, and well. when the paranormal stuff really started happening, i.. tried to scare them out, so i could face the ghost. by myself. or with jade. i just wanted to do. so the ghost got pissed off at me. because that was its job. not mine. and i ended up channeling some werewolf hunting instinct. jade had to cover for me, and thank goodness for the ghost because it stopped me from doing anything really bad. i know, i know, you’re going to berate and get onto me, and shit. DAVE

already did that, though, so you’re covered. please don’t berate me. the age thing will just make it weird. i wish it wouldn’t, but that’s... really the worst thing about the differences in our age! sometimes it feels like you’re lecturing me like i’m a naughty child when... i’m supposed to be your partner. /: i try not to let it get to me cause i know you don’t want it to come off this way! i can only hope the older i get the less weird it seems, but i don’t know if that’s going to be possible? i love you, either way, you massive nerd. anyway, vriska is nagging at me, and saying that it’s time for bed so we can go and take... blackmail? pics tomorrow. i don’t know how it’s blackmail when the content has nothing to do with the person, but instead in degrading way? i think she has that wrong, but she’s getting in her i don’t care, mr. grammar. excuse you, it’s not mr. grammar, but ms. grammar, and that’s rose! d: love, john<hr><blockquote>august 2dear derek,</blockquote> holy shit is vriska’s... relative... annoying. she’s like kankri, but at least some of what she has to say is informative? she kind of explained how the aliens got here, anyway. all like, our world was destroyed, and a massive amount of trolls had no where to go, our empire was dying, so our empress found this happy little earth planet, and decided to move in. if you can’t tell, i’m writing this as she’s talking. she thinks i’m taking notes. sike! i’m writing to my boyfriend under the teacher’s nose. :P it was actually interesting until she started talking about romance? i guess trolls have like four different kinds of romance. and i’m just like, oh yeah, that’s great. somehow it’s supposed to be better than ours, but i don’t really think it is. or maybe it’s just like people who want labels for everything? a better way to describe what it is you’re feeling? i don’t think i’m very interested in labeling what i am. i love and am attracted to you, but i also find ladies lovely and attractive, so i guess that technically makes me bi, but i’d rather just be john, and not have a bunch of labels stuck to me. i guess i can understand how other’s find them useful. some people like taking all sorts of online quizzes to put themselves in these little boxes! but i’d rather just go with the flow and be whoever i want to be instead of trying to pin it down to one thing! except if i were to ever be labeled as a wizard. i would OWN that. dammit. i better pay attention and find a spot where i can escape at so that aranea doesn’t keep me here for a month. i’m going to scotland, then ireland! last stop is iceland. 8) love,john<hr><blockquote>august 6dear derek,</blockquote> i think this will be my last letter! i’m on a plane heading home, thank goodness. i think vriska would have liked scotland and ireland more than me. i wonder why she was so anxious to not go with me the rest of the way? maybe she didn’t want to meet her relative? yeah, i’m like 99% sure that was definitely the case. hehehe i got in a brawl with a scottish dude at the pub, and afterwards we exchanged numbers and addresses when i told him that i had been writing letters during the trip. (he’s a werewolf too! it was SO cool. i wish i had gotten up to scotland sooner cause then we could have gone out on the full moon together, but he said it was probably for the best! he might have gotten too territorial to notice that i was a friendly werewolf. ... i’m trying to pull thoughts together, but i’m really tired. hold on... annnnd back. i just needed a nap. :) so scotland was a ton of fun! as was ireland! i got on a bus tour kind of thing? and basically, wow. ireland is like those covers you see on older romance novels (i saw them at karkat’s house!) where it was historical and shit, and there are lovely irish lasses who are taken in by i... don’t know. guys. dudes. (dudes with rippling abs. (; ) just to note, karkat may

have read one of them out loud to me. i may not have been listening in the entirety. then there was iceland, which was so relaxing. i went to one of the hot springs. i felt so clean and rejuvenated after that when i met nepeta’s relative, i wasn’t even weirded out by how she somehow managed to use her phone to gif at me as part of her sign language. i think i understood the hand motions better than what the gifs were supposed to represent? she asked about my love life, and was really bummed when i told her i was taken. and then she somehow was under the impression that i still needed other people? that was when the whole four romance thing clicked, and i was like shit. she’s going to try and get me hooked up in the other romances. i managed to get her side tracked by asking about her favorite ships, and her tumblr, and yoinked a phone number. i think it’ll be easier communicating to her on tumblr, to be honest. she and aranea didn’t seem all that interested in coming along, though, which is fine by me. the more those two plus kankri stay away, the happier everyone except maybe rose will be. i’m really excited just to come home! i can’t wait to lay in bed, and just... sleep for a couple of days. maybe you’ll be there? i kind of hope not in a way, i think i need to sleep for forty-eight hours at home in order to feel ready to talk to you. i’m acting like something happened between us? but i guess nothing really did. maybe i’m just still bummed that you left without saying goodbye? although, i get why you did it. either way, it’ll be good to be home, and i hope therapy is helping you out. love,john

#monsteraustuck;#rp jon egbert;#more than 5000;#rating: M;#derekjon;#roleplay;#complete;

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