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yourfavoritehouseplant · 5 months

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I watched James Somerton's final video, and all I got was this 6 page document

As soon as I learned his final unreleased video was on Revolutionary Girl Utena, I knew I had to hate watch it. I didn't know that I'd spend the following 4 hours making a comprehensive doc on everything I hated about it. But here we are.

The TLDR (is this too long to be a TLDR?)

The intro section, as well as Part 2, are directly plagiarized from wikipedia. The rest is unclear.

He makes a “haha this show is so weird right guys” joke 10 different times

He reads Anthy as so emotionally stunted she literally has to be taught how to think for herself, and believes that being the rose bride makes her feel good

He says that his reading is ‘vastly different” from the rest of the community, before boldly stating that this is because he sees it as a “deeply allegorical and symbolic story”

He sees the sexual abuse as “not to be taken literally”

Insists that the show be separated into parts that are strictly literal and strictly allegorical for the entirety of parts 3 and 4, before making the contradictory move of analyzing characters as allegories during part 5

The only characters that get dedicated sections are Akio and Dios, who he doesn’t believe are the same person.

He says Dios gets his powers by “deflowering women”

He calls Akio, known child predator, a chaotic bisexual

Uses 14 year old SA survivor Anthy’s passive personality to make a joke about her being a bottom

His final point is that Utena was the real prince all along

There are no citations

Anyway, full version for people who hate themselves under the cut. With time codes, because I cite my sources.

Part 1: Intro

This entire section is almost exclusively quoted from the Wikipedia article for Revolutionary Girl Utena. Words have been changed, but the order at which certain topics come up is not. Highlights include:

0:56 In his introduction of Be-Papas, lists the founding members in literally the exact same order as Wikipedia.

1:40-2:00 His list of Be-Papas previous works is lifted entirely from wikipedia, only with the words changed. This leads to a strange moment at 1:52 where he claims Be-papas ‘lent their talents to’ Neon Genesis Evangelion, a show which started production at least a year before Be-papas was founded. On the wikipedia article for Utena, this is instead referring to the previous work of Shinya Hasegawa and Yōji Enokido

4:23 he uses a quote by Yūichirō Oguro describing the production as a “tug of war”. He seems to have lifted this in its entirety from Wikipedia, as he does not cite the actual source it is from (the box set companion book, btw)

As for James Somerton originals, at 0:44 he claims that out of all magical girl series,”none to my knowledge have been more discussed and dissected than the 1997 series Revolutionary Girl Utena” He will go back on this at 5:05, where he states that “Sailor Moon takes the lion’s share of discussion” in regard to influential magical girl anime

Part 2: Part 1

(At least I know I’m not funny, unlike James Somerton)

Speaking of which. Here is every single time he makes a “wow this show is sooooo weird you guys” joke: 6:00, 8:50, 10:40, 10:58, 13:46, 17:07, 24:16, 30:34, 41:19, 48:01

Here’s every time the punchline to the joke is the existence of Nanami, a character who he otherwise completely disregards: 10:56, 12:05, 16:22, 42:40

6:16 Claims that the “Apocalypse saga” and “Akio Ohtori saga’ are two names for the same several episodes, depending on the release. This is untrue. Instead, different releases either only have the Apocalypse saga, or split the episodes into an Akio Ohtori saga and then the Apocalypse saga.

7:58 Claims Utena intervening on Anthy’s behalf begins the first duel. While this happens in the movie, Touga intervenes in the scene he uses clips from (like literally right after the shot he uses in the video). Utena only gets drawn into the duels when Wakaba’s love note to Saionji is posted. Youtuber Noralities’ Utena video also gets this wrong, which makes me wonder if this was copied.

9:09 Claims Akio’s “End of the World” moniker is actually more closely translated to “Apocalypse”. In reality, the translation moves away from a more apocalyptic reading, with 世界の果て (Sekai no hate) apparently translating closer to “the furthest reach of a known world” or “edge of the world”. (Love the implications of this translation, but I digress)

9:10 As can be assumed from the previous point, this means I can’t find any sources that point to them not using the title “apocalypse” for religious reasons

10:10 Uses Anthy’s extreme passivity under her Rose bride persona to make a top/bottom joke. I’m gonna repeat this in case you’re just skimming. He uses a trait that likely stems from years of abuse, (possibly exaggerated by the persona Anthy uses to manipulate people), and uses it to call her a bottom.

He also just doesn’t seem to understand how the whole point of Utena constantly telling Anthy that she's just a normal girl who should make more friends is framed as Utena imposing her will on Anthy, just as much as the previous Engaged have done.

11:54 Apologies in advance for my most “um, actually!” point yet, but technically his statement that Anthy stops being host to the Sword of Dios is wrong. Akio literally pulls a sword out of her chest in the final duel. It's a more evil-looking sword of Dios, granted.

13:02 !!! CANTARELLA SCENE ALERT !!! He interprets it as them fighting over Akio?? Which like. I will allow people to have their own interpretations of vague and symbolic scenes. I will. I swear. This is not technically incorrect. It just makes me want to eat my own intestines.

14:44 Bad Anthy take #1: He states Anthy “is emotionally stunted to the point where she needs people to make decisions for her because she does not know how to think for herself” This ignores several moments of Anthy clearly making her own choices throughout the show, including the suicide attempt Somerton mentions about a minute prior. This also strips Anthy of what little agency she has throughout the story, usually exerted through messing with Utena or Nanami. (The fact that she repeatedly makes choices that contribute to her own abuse is, in my opinion, one of the most interesting parts of her character, and it's a shame that Summerton’s ‘reading’ of the story completely disregards that)

Additionally, he once again reads Utena ‘urging Anthy to think for herself” in the first arc as an unambiguously good move, and not as something critiqued in the show.

14:52 Summerton reads the Swords of hatred as symbolizing men’s hatred specifically. Again, I’m trying not to completely disregard differing interpretations to a show like Utena, but this feels very simplistic, especially considering the harm we see aimed towards Anthy by other women

16:42 Here he claims that his reading of the story seems to be “vastly different” from the bulk of Utena discourse. What is this reading? That the show shouldn’t be read literally. Or, in his words, “[we can interpret] Revolutionary Girl Utena as a deeply allegorical and symbolic story about the struggles of coming of age amidst widespread institutional corruption in a high school and which describes a passive culture of inaction in regard to brazen instances of domestic exploitation in which there is not only a question about the caporeality of the events transpiring but also which events can be taken for granted and which events are meant to signify abstract sociological institutions.” The idea that he believes this is in any way a new reading of the material honestly baffles me.

Part 3: Part 2

17:48 through 18:50 differently quotes the Wikipedia article for postmodernism. He even makes a joke at 17:55 about Wikipedia. Please kill me.

The first three themes he lists at 19:11 are just the three main themes listed on the Revolutionary Girl Utena Wikipedia page. What was that about a “vastly different” reading, James?

You’re gonna have to take my word for it, but this section is so short because it's just him talking about the various ways the story can’t be taken literally. He does, ironically, call this a hot take.

Part 4: Part 3

Here’s where the reading falls apart folks

At 23:15, he states that some things in Utena are allegorically coded, while others are to be taken literally. This is true. However, he seems to take this to mean that some parts of the show are Strictly Literal, while others are Strictly Allegorical for things going on in the Literal World.

This is apparently why he prefers the Anime to the Movie, where there basically is no separation between the Literal and Allegorical

This take is bizarre to me for several reasons, but here is my favorite. At several points, he mentions how Revolutionary Girl Utena is a work of Magical Realism. Magical Realism is literally defined by its blending of the “literal” and “allegorical”, the mix of fantastical elements in a mundane, realistic setting. This idea of the impossibility of a blurred line, that Utena must either have lore where the magic is all real and means nothing, or dedicated allegory segments quarantined from the rest of the story, is contrary to the very idea of Magical Realism.

I can’t help but wonder if Somerton took his mentions of Magical realism from a previous work, due to how little it is consistent with his final argument. Either way, this section suggests a great lack of creativity in his analysis, a shame for such a creative work.

24:36: Shiori slander, for those who care

After this he gets really worked up about people assuming symbolism in everything, even when the author ‘doesn’t make it clear something is symbolic’. He shuts down a reading of a shot in the Lord of the Rings. Miley Cyrus is there? Very The Curtains Were Blue of him.

28:22 Claims that Wakaba is the key to telling where the Strictly Literal segments end and the Strictly Allegorical segments begin. He states that, under this lens, deeply personal moments of character suffering such as all of the sexual abuse and Anthy’s suicide attempt (which he literally cites) should be read as symbolic and be “approached with uncertainty rather than confusion”. (28:24-29:13)

This also somewhat falls apart when you consider Wakaba is the jeep in the movie's car chase

And then he rants about people not liking his Attack on Titan video for a bit. Since its potential symbolism also doesn't follow hard enough rules to be symbolism. Once again, the separation of “fact vs allegory” I haven’t watched AOT, so that's all I’ll say.

Part 5: Part 4

Thank god this part is short. Much like Dios’ on-screen presence.

32:55 Makes the extremely bold claim that Dios is not Akio. As in, never even became Akio. because Dios is Strictly Allegorical.

Just to be a pedant, this is pretty explicitly disproven in the show

Confusingly, both earlier and later he will address these two as the same character.

33:04 he also explains the root of Akio’s name in a tone that suggests this is supplemental information and not like. Literally something he explains out loud in the show?

Part 6: Part 5

This section is nearly entirely about Akio Ohtori. I would like to note that him and Dios are the only characters with dedicated segments.

38:30 The part where he states that Dios gets his powers from deflowering women.

38:46 Claims, once again, that Akio’s abuse of Anthy “may not be literal”.

38:59 “the instance of exploitation here is used because assault has deep roots as indicating that akio's gender is the source of his imbalance” THE ASSAULT IS ABOUT AKIO NOW???

39:45 Bad Anthy take #2: “Anthy’s conformity to the Rose bride is based around the fact that she feels good being subservient because this is the only thing in her life that has ever brought her any kind of positive reward”. This is a direct quote. Anyway, I can’t think of any instances in the show where Anthy’s subservience gives her a positive reward, except maybe when she’s intentionally using it to manipulate others. As for her feeling good being the rose bride. She tries to commit suicide. Dude.

Side tangent, but isn’t this exactly what Akio says during the final 2 episodes? That Anthy enjoys being a witch? Is the main villain, who consistently says things during that very episode that are blatantly false, our source of information for this take? I guess so, since this is the dedicated Akio section.

At 40:20 he decides to introduce the concept of Anthy, Akio, and Utena as stand-ins for wider concepts, which is antithetical to his approach in analysis beforehand

Part 7: Part 6

42:40 he finally acknowledges that he’s been spending too much time talking about Akio, and literally no time on characters like Nanami

46:10 states that Utena’s exclusive motivation “is to protect Anthy from the predatorial intentions of the other dualists”, which disregards the fact, which she states herself, that she was largely participating in the duels and protecting Anthy to feel like a prince

48:04 The part where he says that Akio has ‘chaotic Bi vibes’ in regards to him sleeping with Touga, who is 17 and implied to be a long-term victim

Part 8: Part 7

54:01: His concluding point is that Utena was the real prince all along.

In true Somerton fashion, the video then ends over a scrolling wall of patrons, with not a single citation in sight.

#the autism won again you guys #revolutionary girl utena #james somerton #shoujo kakumei utena #utena #anthy #hbomberguy

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milkyfurbs · 2 years

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I tagged my Luna post w Sailor Moon but honestly I did not expect it to break from the furby community so thoroughly and I’m very excited it did lol

#i see all these sailor moon or just like general anime/fandom blogs reblogging it #and it’s so funny bc I look and it’s the only furby post on their account #it feels like I went up to a normal person and just handed them my weird little creature #i love it

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metalandmagi · 1 month

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In honor of Women's History month, I just want to remind people that some of the most influential and popular manga in the anime community are written/illustrated by women. And I'm not just talking about groundbreaking shojo like Sailor Moon, Fruits Basket, Card Captor Sakura, or Black Butler (or things like Chihayafuru, Migi to Dali, Sakamoto Desu ga?, Nana, Natsume Yuujincho, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Violet Evergarden, A Silent Voice, and a million more). To be clear, those series are also amazing, and I'm not demeaning them in any way. They deserve just as much respect as everything else.

But right now I'm talking about shōnen series or series that are usually marketed towards men specifically or have appeared in shōnen magazines. I mean things like:

Beastars, made by Paru Itagaki

Gangsta, by Kohske

Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic by Shinobu Ohtaka (which I promise isn't what my screen name is a reference to, even though I love this show).

D.Gray Man by Katsura Hoshino

Dorohedoro by Q Hayashida

To Your Eternity by Yoshitoki Ōima

Mushishi, made by Yuki Urushibara (aka Soyogo Shima).

Noragami which is written by two women, collectively named Adachitoka, similarly to romance author duo Christina Lauren.

Blue Exorcist by Kazue Kato

Inuyasha (and Ranma 1/2 and Urasai Yatsura) by Rumiko Takahashi, which I know for a fact served as a gateway anime for a shit ton of people across generations (but especially for people my age).

I have to shout out Posuka Demizu, who illustrated The Promised Neverland, which is my favorite manga series. She may have given the characters weird looking facial proportions, but damn if she ain't one of the most detail oriented (and sneakiest) artists out there.

And finally, a little story you may know called Fullmetal Alchemist, written by Hiromu Arakawa (who also wrote Silver Spoon, The Heroic Legend of Arslan and lots of other stuff but I wanted to highlight those two specifically).

There's also been speculation that a small hidden gem called...what was it again?...Oh yeah, DEMON SLAYER is written by a woman. But Koyoharu Gotouge's gender hasn't been confirmed so it's still just a theory.

idk, I just love women.

#women's history month #anime #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #fma #fmab #beastars #inuyasha #to your eternity #fumetsu no anata e #blue exorcist #noragami #mushishi #d.gray man #magi labyrinth of magic #dorohedoro #gangsta anime #the promised neverland #yakusoku no neverland

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froggibus · 3 months

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hello hello! froggi i have something rotting my brain and i would love to hear your thoughts on it, but by no means is this something you have to answer!

how do you think gojo satoru and nanami kento (and anyone else you'd like to include!) would feel about having someone pack lunches for them? like real, thought out, balanced lunches in nice containers and thermoses with little drinks and maybe notes

i can already see the confused first years, yuji and nobara gossiping about whether they're dating someone and megumi being weirded out gojo isnt just buying something like the rich boy he is

Sack Lunch - Satoru Gojo, Nanami Kento & Suguru Geto

Pairing(s): Satoru Gojo x gn! reader, Nanami Kento x gn! reader, Suguru Geto x gn! reader

Genre: fluff!

Word Count: 667 (Gojo's), 685 (Nanami's), 680 (Suguru's)

Summary: a day in your s/o's life when you pack a lunch for him

CW: established relationships!, jokes about dying/being widowed (Gojo's--though they are not necessarily married), lots of cutesy stuff, Gojo acts like a child

anon you are the first person ever to call me froggi (and i kinda love it omg)!! i have not answered a request/ask in a hot minute, but this one was too cute to pass up! not sure if you wanted headcanons for this or not, but i got really carried away :') hope this is what you wanted! also i really feel strongly about Gojo having a 90s lunchbox collection that he is very proud of! - also!! the Valentine's Poll is open if you guys have any ideas of what you want for our Valentine's event this year!! you can vote here - also thank you @l0serloki for helping me with writing nanami!!

Satoru Gojo:

“Satoru!” You shake your head at the man as he slinks past the kitchen.

He pops his head in, white hair falling over his eyes. “Yes?”

“Don’t forget your lunch.”

“You made me lunch?” He coos, surging forward to pinch your cheek, “you’re so cute.”

You roll your eyes. “No one should spend as much money on food as you do.” You chastise. “And I want to make sure you don’t only eat sweets today. I can’t have you dying on me at 30.”

“Pft, I’m gonna live forever!”

You shove the metallic Sailor Moon lunchbox into his hands. “Keep eating what I make you and you just might.”

“Aw, baby,” he practically sings, “look at you, trying to take care of me.”

He playfully ruffles your hair, but upon seeing your scowl, drags his hand down to your waist. He leans in and presses a sloppy, needy kiss to your lips. You stand on your toes just to kiss him back, rubbing your hands up and down his back.

He pulls away blushing, lunchbox in hand. “I’ll see you later! Love you lots!”

You wave to him as he heads out the door, “love you too!”

Even when he gets out to his car, the grin on his face doesn’t fade. He might have teased you a little, but only because he was so honoured that you even thought to pack him a lunch. The cute Sailor Moon lunch box that totally isn’t his is only the icing on the cake.

—

Nobara and Yuji stare at Gojo in disbelief. The man has his feet propped up on his desk, whistling a song as he peels a mandarin. A mandarin. The sight of their teacher eating an actual, real fruit is jarring.

Yuji elbows Nobara gently, “has Gojo-sensei finally lost it?”

“He must have, have you ever seen him eat real food before?”

Gojo rolls his eyes behind his blindfold, popping a slice of the orange into his mouth. He listens to his first years gossip about him as he makes his way through the lunch you packed. You really outdid yourself with this one, he has to admit.

It’s all of the foods he likes, cutely displayed in pink containers that match the glittery exterior of the lunch box. You even packed him strawberry mochi, homemade and neatly bundled. There’s a note in there, too.

Please eat all your fruits and veggies, I don’t want to be a widow.

Lots of love!

Y/n

Gojo stifles his laughter at your note, but he can’t stop the flush that creeps up to his blindfold. Not only did you pack him a lunch, you wrote him a note. He can’t wait to come home to you and tell you how much he loves you.

It’s when Gojo gets up to use the bathroom that Yuji makes a mad dash to peek in his lunch box. “Sailor Moon?!”

Nobara leaps to her feet, joining Itadori at the desk. “There’s a note, look.”

Fushiguro sits at his desk, softly chewing on the sandwich that you also made for him this morning. He shakes his head at his nosy peers, wondering why they care so much about their ridiculous teacher’s life.

“From y/n?!” They cry out in unison.

“Did he steal this from someone?!” Nobara exclaims.

“Did he do something to y/n’s boyfriend?!”

The pair share their conspiracies on just how Gojo ended up with a homemade lunch and a handwritten note from you, oblivious to the way Megumi snickers at them in the back.

Finally, he can’t take it anymore. “They’re together.”

Their eyes practically pop out. “They are?!”

“Yep,” Gojo leans against the door to the classroom, smirking at his students.

“And it’s…like that?” Yuji asks quietly.

“It’s like that.” Gojo raises his eyebrows for emphasis.

All three First Years cringe, groans filling the room. Gojo smiles proudly though, already figuring out how he’s going to tell this story to you when he comes home to you.

Kento Nanami:

Nanami’s cheeks tinge pink as he makes his way to the door and sees you standing there. There’s a massive grin on your face and you’re holding a grey lunchbox in one hand and a coffee thermos in the other. Despite this being an everyday occurance, Nanami still isn’t used to it.

“I packed your lunch.”

He leans in and presses a soft kiss to your lips, grabbing the items from your hands. He sets them on the small table just next to the door to free up his hands before immediately wrapping them around your waist. He caresses your sides gently, almost as gently as he kisses you—trying to show all his gratitude and love for you with a single gesture.

You’re flustered when he pulls away, straightening out your clothes while you find your breath once more. You watch Nanami as he grabs his lunch and coffee from the table and pulls his keys out of his pocket, clicking open the lock on the front door.

“Oh!” You call to him just before he steps out. “There’s some extra snacks in there, just in case Yuji wants them!”

His dark eyes fill with admiration, his face falling into that soft look he saves for those closest to him. “You really are the greatest.”

You giggle, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he says. “Have a great day today, dear.”

“I will!” You wave at him from the door as he walks to his car. “Oh! And please don’t forget the cutlery at work again!”

“Will do!” His words are punctuated by the closing of his car door followed by the roar of the engine.

You shut the door but the grin doesn’t fall from your face. These mornings are always a highlight for you.

—

Nanami is exhausted by the time he makes it to his lunch hour. Him and Yuji had been running around all afternoon chasing some low grade curse. The second his watch beeped to indicate lunch time, Nanami was already headed to the crosswalk to head to the park across the street, Itadori in tow.

It’s a beautiful day out, the warm sun heating the wood of the park bench just enough to keep it comfortable. He has his most recent novel open on his lap, his lunchbox on the seat next to him. Yuji sits on the other side of his lunch, happily snacking on the extra things you packed for him.

“Y/n really is the best, Nanamin.” He says through a mouthful of food, “packing you all these snacks and keeping you healthy.”

Nanami offers the boy a half grin, though he’s tempted to remind him of his table manners and how rude it is to talk with food in his mouth. He takes a sip of the coffee in his thermos—still warm from this morning—and relaxes farther into the bench. You always make it just the way he likes it, no sugar and hardly any cream.

He reaches a hand into his lunchbox to grab the small container of carrot slices when his fingers graze something else. He closes his novel and leans over to examine the paper he’s just grabbed.

Hope you’re having a great lunch today, honey. Made with love

To the moon and back,

Y/n

He tries to hide his widening grin and reddening cheeks by pretending to cough into his arm, but only succeeds in drawing more attention to his flustered state.

“Are you okay?”

Nanami nods, catching his breath from his fake cough. The heat starts to fade from his face. He pulls his head out of his elbow and turns to address the boy, only for his eyes to widen in horror as he realizes the First Year is clutching the note that was just in his hand.

“Woah,” Yuji’s eyes widen. “It’s like that? You really are lucky, Nanamin.”

Nanami breathes a sigh of relief, glad it was Yuji that found the note and not Nobara or Gojo. Had they found it, he would never hear the end of it.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “I am lucky.”

Suguru Geto:

Suguru is shocked when he sees you waiting for him by the door with a small, black bag in your hand. He tilts his head at you when your eyes meet his, as if asking you what you’re doing.

“I threw together a couple of things,” you explain. “For lunch.”

He’s never been cared for like this, never had anyone to pack him a lunch. A million thoughts cross his mind. Thank you, you’re the best, how’d I get so lucky? Of course, none of that comes out.

Instead, he utters a simple, “...why?”

He cringes at the sound of his own voice, bracing himself for you to be disappointed. Luckily, you don’t offend easily and your smile never wavers.

“Well, you were complaining about Satoru only ever wanting to go to sweet shops—and that you were sick of eating lunch alone, so…”

You look down to his hands, suddenly too embarrassed to face him. It felt like a great idea at the moment, but the longer Geto looks at you, the dorkier the idea feels.

Geto closes the gap between you, grabbing your hand from under the lunch box handle. “Thank you,” he mumbles against your lips, tugging you closer so he can taste you better.

Relief floods through you at his words of gratitude. You lean into the kiss, relishing in the way he feels against you.

“I really do love you, you know?” He says softly when he pulls away, the bag now hanging from his hand.

“I know.”

He looks at you expectantly, giving you the same look he does when you’re acting like a dork or giving him attitude.

“I love you too, Suguru. Now get going! I don’t want you to be late.”

He offers you a small wave before he heads out the door, wondering exactly how he’ll return the favor when he gets home.

—

Satoru stares at Suguru from across the table in the teachers lounge. Even with the blindfold on, Geto can tell the man is eyeing the food he has spread out in front of him.

Gojo raises a finger, about to open his mouth.

“Not a word, Satoru.”

His best friend chuckles, dropping his hands in surrender, and goes back to eating his pastries out of a cute pink box. Geto goes back to his own lunch. Though you claimed you just ‘threw together a few things’, he knows that’s far from the truth.

It must have taken you an hour to prepare it all, at minimum. Not only did you make his favorite meal, but you also packed him steamed, honey coated carrots, a slice of homemade banana bread, and a small thermos of his favorite roasted rice tea.

He pops open the lid of the thermos to smell it, the familiar toasty aroma filling his senses. It smells like home—like the nights where he can’t sleep and you bring him a cup of it mixed with sweet honey.

“What’s this?” Satoru snatches the lid from the desk, flipping it upside down and letting a small piece of stationary fall out.

Suguru groans, reaching desperately across the desk for the lid, only for Satoru’s jaw to fall open. He lets the paper float back down to the desk.

“What?” He demands.

Gojo offers him a teasing grin. “Y/n and Suguru, sitting in a tree….”

Geto scowls and grabs the note before Gojo can pick it up and tease him more. Any annoyance he was feeling at the fellow special grade fades away when he sees your handwriting scrawled across the paper.

Hope Satoru doesn’t give you too much trouble today. I love you so much, can’t wait to hear about your day when you get back

All the stars in the sky,

Y/n

Satoru must not see the way Suguru’s cheeks redden at the sight of the note—or if he does, he doesn’t say anything about it. Though he teases, he couldn’t be any happier for his friend as he watches him read the words on the note over and over, a growing smile on his face.

masterlist | jjk masterlist

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chryblossomjjk · 1 year

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distractions | jjk

⇢ PAIRING: fuckboy!jk x inexperienced reader

⇢ RATING: m/18+

⇢ WC: 1.1k

⇢ WARNINGS: cute couple content, they drop the 'l' word guys, n*pple piercings n sucking bc u know... fixation lmao, v suggestive but no actual sm*t, finger sucking lol, the love is requited :')

⇢ SUMMARY: jungkook agreed to let you do his makeup, but he can't stop getting distracted.

⇢ NOTES: ugh i missed them dearly!! will be putting out more drabbles soon, but i'm currently trying to focus on my other wip!! i haven't posted anything in so long so i wanted to share this with you guys! school n work is hectic i already feel swamped pls be patient with me :') i miss having time for a hobby lmao!! anyways, i hope you enjoy and let me know ur thoughts! love u <3 also apologize if there's any typos or weirdness, this wasn't beta'd!! if you haven't read practice yet, pls read before this!!

⇢ SERIES MASTERLIST

“Kook, look up! How many times do I have to tell you?”

Four months into the relationship and his attention span, or lack thereof, never ceased to amaze you. With a frustrated groan, you place the pointy end of your Sailor Moon brush between your teeth before gripping his chin and turning his wandering gaze back to you.

“Bambi, I’m looking up!” He yell-laughs, doe-eyes wide and sarcastic as they bear into you, equally frustrated. You can already see the concealer you applied just a few minutes ago creasing. Dramatically, he karate chops his tattooed arm towards the ceiling, paralleling your scantily clad frame straddling him. The sudden jump has you shifting against his crotch deliciously. Now’s not the time for fooling around, though. You’re determined to put the cute brush set Jungkook randomly gifted you a few weeks back to good use, starting with giving your sweet boyfriend a full beat. “This is up! What other direction is up?”

What an asshole.

You pop the pink plastic out of your mouth, taking an annoyed chomp out of his annoying fingers. It's playful, of course. You mean, you’ve just got done with a whitening strip, after all…

Jungkook takes the opportunity to shove his digits further past your glossy lips, reaching down just enough to feel your throat constrict, then pulling back. He stares up at you with the cheesiest fucking grin, clearly pleased with himself.

“You’re mean,” you cough, wiping the drool at the corners of your mouth with the back of your hand.

“No you,” he counters, pinching your cheek patronizingly. “I love you, though.”

One month into the lovey-dovey phase of the relationship; that one where the initial butterflies fly away and you’re left feeling like ‘wow, maybe this is a forever sort of thing,’ and you still feel lightheaded every time Jungkook murmurs those three words.

“I love you, too,” you coo, reaching down to adjust his teddy-bear headband. Jungkook’s been growing his hair out. This was his last semester and he was determined to go out with a bang. For whatever reason, he had decided that bang was a mullet. You remember how confused you were when he showed up at your dorm at 3am, drunk off Fireball and excitement, asking you to cut his hair. You thought the request was outlandish and foolish, but you did it anyway, in your bathroom with eyebrow scissors. It came out a teeny bit crooked, and a tiny bit choppy, but Jungkook loved it, staring at his reflection with a big bunny smile and starry eyes. “But baby, this-” you tap on the headboard behind him, “-is up.”

He squints his eyes in defiance before complying. Ah, you’ve trained him well. A very good boy, indeed.

You’ve spoken, or thought, too soon, because after a few swipes of the plush bristles, a high-pitched ‘Appa!’ from your phone, leaning against your Kuromi makeup bag on the nightstand beside you, draws his dark pupils back to the cartoon.

“That’s it,” you huff like an overwhelmed mother of three, yanking the device out of his sight. “Say goodbye to Aang. You’ve lost your Avatar: The Last Airbender privileges.”

“C’mon, seriously?” He laughs while lunging forward, attempting to wrestle the phone out of your grasp. Giggling wildly, you toss it on the pink shag rug below you, out of his reach. The movement almost sends you toppling over. Luckily, Jungkook wraps an arm around your waist to keep you steady. “Bambi, you know I’m easily distracted.”

“But you said I could do your makeup,” you pout, batting your lashes at him.

“I know, I-”

“Don’t touch!” You shriek, preventing him from rubbing his eye.

“Sorry, sorry,” he apologizes through a chuckle, holding his hands by his head in defense. “Maybe I…” You deadpan him as his eyes scan around the room before, not so subtly, landing on your chest. Cocking his head, he tuts his tongue and grips the hem of your shirt. Shamelessly, he stuffs the nearly transparent material into your mouth, exposing your bare breasts. “There, just like that,” he whispers, warm palms grazing up your torso to cup them, thumbs grazing over your little diamond heart jewelry. You gasp at the touch. “You know, I still can’t believe you actually got ‘em’.” Neither could you, honestly, but if there was one thing Jungkook has taught you, it’s that sometimes, you need to step out of your comfort zone. Take risks. Especially when it results in the cutest little nipple piercings. “So fucking sexy…”

You feel his forming bulge poking against you. God, do you want him. But even Jungkook’s dick couldn’t derail you from the mission at hand. Raising an eyebrow, you lift up the makeup brush.

The tits really seem to keep him preoccupied. With a hand on his cheek, you feel his mouth hollowing, sucking your nipple gingerly as you lean over him and fill in his thick brows. Obviously, it’s a bit hard to focus. Every now and then, you have to tug his hair to redirect his nibbles back down to soft licks.

“Okay,” you announce, letting the shirt fall from your candy-coated lips and sitting up, “what color?”

Out of the entire thirty-pan rainbow eyeshadow palette you’re holding up for him, he lazily points to the darkest shade in the top color. His favorite color, of course; black. You should’ve known. Your lips scrunch to the side in contemplation. Jungkook would look so yummy with a smokey eye.

So you blend and blend away with blacks, whites, and grays. Shockingly, your boyfriend manages to stay still throughout the entire process. You’re proud of him, really. He’ll definitely get rewarded afterward. And you were right, the final product is absolutely delectable.

“Baby, your eyelashes are stunning!” You swoon. “And the smokey-eye looks so so so good with your eye shape.”

Silence.

“Jungkook?” You lean forward, gripping his shoulders and shaking softly. Nothing but the sound of faint snores reaches your ears. The little fuck fell asleep. No wonder why he’s been so good. You laugh in disbelief, picking your phone off the floor and snapping a few pictures to show him in the morning. Reaching into your drawer, you take out a couple makeup wipes and start cleaning him up. You loathe makeup wipes and only keep them for emergencies, but Jungkook looks so peaceful that you can’t bring yourself to wake him.

Next, you snuggle beside him with a spare blanket, unable to yank your comforter out from under his thick, muscular thighs. He stirs when you gently pull off his headband. “I love you…” he mumbles, still half asleep. It’s as if the emotion is so ingrained in his subconscious that they bubble to the surface, even when he’s sleepy and incoherent.

And you feel the same exact way.

“I love you, Jungkook. Goodnight.”

#bts #bts x reader #bts smut #jungkook #jeon jungkook #bts jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook series #jungkook fic #jungkook drabble #bangtan #jungkook scenario #jungkook one shot #jungkook imagine #bts imagine #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you

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facts-i-just-made-up · 7 months

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Facts about Greek Myths?

There are a great many figures in Greek myth and they can be hard to keep track of, so here is a quick guide to which is which:

Ajax- Warrior who invented detergent.

Antigone- Funeral enthusiast who invented civil disobedience.

Atlas- First winner of the Olympic strong titan competition.

Bellerophon- Plot point in Mission Impossible 2.

Cerberus- 7 headed dog tragically born with only 3 heads.

Charon- Lead rower for Styx.

Cratus- God of strength, but not THAT god of strength.

Cyclops- Inventor of the monocle.

Daedalus- Inventor of the Labyrinth, and thus of David Bowie.

Dionysus- Drank 24/7 but very responsibly never drove.

Eris- Goddess of fighting with each other.

Eros- God of doing something else with each other.

Euronymous- God of Mayhem.

Fates- Least creatively named destiny gods ever.

Hera- Goddess of marriage yet only Zeus's third wife.

Hylia- Goddess of triangles and disjointed timelines.

Icarus- God of disappointing ones father.

Io- Space captain and epic 3D short film, still not on blu-ray.

Jocasta- Originator of Jo Mama jokes, mother of Oedipus.

Leda- Swan enthusiast and feathery-fandom originator.

Medea- Even worse mom than Jocasta.

Medusa- Inventor of reptile-safe shampoo.

Megaclite- LOL her name is "Megaclite." Pronounced like "Clitty."

Narcissus- Basically Trump.

Odysseus- Sailor who refused to ask for directions.

Orpheus- Inventor of impatiently checking the download bar.

Ouranos- Spelling that could've avoided a lot of planet butt jokes.

Pallas- Inventor of weird looking cats.

Persephone- Pomegranate fan, looked like Monica Bellucci.

Prometheus- Stupid fucking movie, especially for using some of H.R. Giger's original designs then putting them up next to a fucking plain white squid. Also let's make the space jockey a tall guy in a suit. How did Scott think that was a good idea? Fuck that shit and double fuck Covenant for somehow doing even fucking worse.

Rhode- Sea nymph yet not technically an island.

Siren- Inverse groupie.

Sisyphus- Limp Biscuit fan who never stopped rolling.

Tantalus- I'll tell you in a minute...

Thanatos- God of dying as easily as snapping your fingers.

Zeus- When the earth was still flat and the clouds made of fire, and mountains stretched up to the sky, sometimes higher- Folks roamed the earth like big rolling kegs. They had two sets of arms, they had two sets of legs. They had two faces peering out of one giant head so they could watch all around them as they talked and they read. And they never knew nothing of love. It was before the origin of love. There were three sexes then: One that looked like two men glued up back to back, called the children of the sun. Similar in shape and girth were the children of the earth. They looked like two girls rolled up in one. The children of the moon were like a fork shoved on a spoon, they were part sun, part earth- Part daughter, part son. Now the gods grew quite scared of our strength and defiance and Thor said, "I'm gonna kill them all with my hammer, like I killed the giants." And Zeus said, "No, you better let me use my lightening like scissors, like I cut the legs off the whales, and dinosaurs into lizards." Then he grabbed up some bolts and he let out a laugh, and said, "I'll split them right down the middle. Gonna cut them right up in half." And then storm clouds gathered above into great balls of fire, and fire shot down from the sky in bolts like shining blades of a knife and it ripped right through the flesh of the children of the sun and the moon and the earth. If you want the rest, see Hedwig and the Angry Inch cuz this is taking way longer to type than I expected.

#greek mythology #medusa #hedwig and the angry inch #norwegian black metal #unreality

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astronicht · 6 days

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Oh I love how in the film Legolas (or is it Aragorn?) says “a red dawn; blood has been spilled this night” BUT in the book Legolas says “It is a red dawn. Stranger things await us by the eaves of the forest. Good or evil, I do not know; but we are called.”

“Good or evil I do not know” being the important part, where Legolas is simply indicating that the sign he’s reading in the sky means “strange stuff is coming”, which jives with the early medieval take on Weird Color or Lights in Sky, more so than the (beloved) film version. If this were Early Modern fantasy story ppl could freak out about comets as signs of evil and also burn some witches — including that guy back in the Shire with the mushrooms, in retrospect he was totally supposed to be a wise-man wasn’t he — but even in the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle, a light in the sky might indicate a cataclysm, but that was just bc it indicated a change. Comets indicated change. Weird horizon glow indicated change. I have no idea what the fuck the reported double-moon indicated aside from years off my own life whenever I think about it.

(The modern phrase is “red sky at night: sailors delight / red sky in the morning: sailors take warning.” A weather thing, I’ve always assumed??.)

#astro lotr

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octoooo · 8 months

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Working on a Magical Girl au <3

#coconut octo (mod talking)#magical girl? magical slayer #taking inspiration from sailor moon & Magica Madoka #and whatever else my brain cooks up #man making aus is so much fun #gonna go ahead and say it; Sabigiyuu have a relationship like Sailor Neptune & Uranus #just #utter devotion #& not the weird lesbian-cousin thing the original English dub airing tried to pull #(I haven’t even seen that original sun airing but it’s what people have seen back in their days so I suppose that actually happened #I watched it on Hulu where they’re never explicitly stated to be dating but it’s obvious they’re in love #Magical Slayers✨

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lastoneout · 5 months

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Okay, honest question, who is Yotsuba?

OH HO HO ANON I AM ALL TOO HAPPY TO EXPLAIN :3

Yotsuba is a character from the greatest manga ever made, Yotsuba&!(or Yotsuba to! it translates weird, most fans just call it Yotsuba) which is a comedy slice-of-life manga about Yotsuba Koiwai, a five year old girl, and her very strange yet wholesome family and friends!

It's from the same mangaka who gave us Azumanga Daioh, though while that manga is told in a four-panel comic style and doesn't really have much of an overarching plot, Youtsuba is done in a traditional manga style and despite also being very episodic there is a bit of a throughline surrounding Youtsuba getting settled into the neighborhood she just moved to, growing up, and eventually, in the later chapters, getting ready to go to school for the first time. Also, there are storylines that take place over multiple chapters as well! Despite the fact that the manga has been releasing since 2003, the chapters are pretty sporadic and the comic has only really covered about one year of the character's lives, but it never really feels slow or aimless. It feels almost...timeless? I guess. It's really nice.

Anyway, the manga is legit one of the most wholesome, funny, heartwarming things I have ever read. Kiyohiko Azuma is a fucking MASTER of comedy(you may have seen screencaps from a Sailor Moon fan comic he made going around on tumblr in which Jupiter accidentally sends Venus shooting across a pool that made me laugh so hard I cried) and he balances it well with lots of slow moments with GORGEOUS artwork where you can really take in the scenery and all of it is seeped in a wonderful nostalgia for childhood that legit makes me super emotional.

I don't think the manga has ever really taken off in terms of popularity, at least not to the degree that it deserves imo, which is likely in part due to the creator being firm about it never getting an anime adaptation and the sporadic release schedule, but it's far from unknown. There's been an official(I think??) score released and plenty of figurines and merch. It's also birthed a lot of memes, and it def has the same issue as One Piece where if you read it and love it you will turn into a walking billboard and try to drag your friends and family in with you. It's just THAT good!

You may have seen art of or people cosplaying Danbo, a "robot" made of old cardboard boxes that Yotsuba adores (Totally a real robot btw, def doesn't have a middle schooler shoved inside there, that would be silly wdym /s)

And this pose from the back of one of the manga volumes featuring Yotsuba, her father, and their extremely tall friend Jumbo has been redrawn with other characters like 500000 billion times

And you've also probably seen this going around tumblr before (that's Fūka she's my favorite cringe fail daughter I would literally die for her).

Also, I would be doing a disservice if I didn't mention Yanda, who is a friend of Yotsuba's dad and also Yotsuba's nemesis. He's a loser who constantly gets dunked on by a toddler it's fucking hilarious.

But yeah it really is just like, a manga that feels like a hug, or a warm blanket or something, it's so comforting and funny and fantastic, I find myself re-reading it any time life gets to be too hard just bcs it's that good at distracting me and reminding me that live is worth living.

And also given that it's literally my favorite manga, I saved up a bunch of screencaps to use as reaction images after a read one time, and thus now it's my own little joke that if you send me anon hate I'm just gonna send you back a picture of this cutie

Bcs come on how can you be angry when you're looking at this???

Anyway here's some screencaps of the main supporting cast bcs I love all of them so much <3

YOU WILL READ YOTSUBA I AM NO LONGER ASKING

#Ask #Anonymous #long post #sorry anon you hit the yotsuba button #I am legally obligated to gush about it #yotsuba #yotsuba&!

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reverieblondie · 6 months

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hey! I wanted to request a criminal/villain!miguel x copFM!reader 🫣🤭 (Miguel is wearing his spider suit as his villain outfit)

LIKE Miguel is a criminal or villain whose hate when the cop chase him…except for reader. Who’s has been huge crush on reader and a bigger crush since the first time he stole something. but manage to stumble and fall on top of reader. Which reader was flustered and confused by the Miguel action.(for a reference for this request use megamind and the new reporter😭 but instead of using a human disguise.or miraculous ladybug☠️ 😭) and Miguel has Been in love with reader since he got save from a reader.from criminal or villain.and in Miguel eyes, reader was a good, sweet, caring person and the way she fighting the criminal and to him ….. it was sexy.and Miguel wanted was all reader attention.(and let be fr Miguel would be pervert nerd who’s follow reader social media just to see her face and fan girl about😝🤭)

so let just say he still got all he spider power and decided to move into a new apartment and when he was almost done moving…and reader was coming out of her apartment room to greet the new neighbor, and That when Miguel meet reader again.and god. when I feel like he would stutter, and say weird things, or random things to reader. As reader was looking at him with a confuse/surprise look. and Miguel knew he f$&k up so bad with his first small chat to reader who wasn’t even in work or wasn’t even saving any people.Miguel-“Dios mío … how the hell did I manage to f$&k this up … but this is perfect she my apartment neighbor” Miguel said in his mind.time skip😭😔,a few month in.and reader is having feelings towards her weird neighbor. who is just a mess. As she was telling Jessica about her crush.and Jessica is just laughing about it and saying to reader Jess-“ oh? ohh! Lorrrrd! Gurl this sound like some high-school crush all over again *chuckle*”.and reader would nudge Jessica shoulder and say “stop it…not funny” and pout about it and Jess wouldn’t stop till there caption called them into action on (the time was like 9:00 or any time would be good 😔) -#### ### #### street. and that where reader is trap with villain!Miguel.Which IN Miguel original plan he was going to have a nice chat, and want to tried find what reader like in general. in his villain side.(because he more serious about it 😭☝️idk). But some other sidekicks-villain…well not it just Layla playing a prank on them but Miguel didn’t know that. and what Layla decide to put was some fun gas🤭

Nfsw part: those fun gas was sexual drug that boosted there sexual desire for them and make them delusional or not idk☠️.(☝️😔 the same problem with all of us being delu BUT IM PROUD OF IT 🗣️) and reader was lucky enough to caught some of the gas.but Miguel. in the other hands wasn’t lucky enough and caught all the gas. after a an few minutes the gas went away.but not the effect that was going through reader body, her body was hot and the way room felt warmed and Miguel was hanging on the edge of the desk (the setting is that there in a abandoned office or building) and Miguel is busy panted, grunting, and is overall just so arousal same with reader but not that much that she lost control. Like Miguel did.

HOPE you enjoy the rest of your day and I hope you enjoy this request! Also I love your writing and i love the sailor moon theme 🫶 bye! [Fluff/smut any kink will be fine but I feel like breeding kink, or some overstimulation or some choking idk 🤷‍♀️ you can choose.but I hope you have a wonderful day 🤟]

I finally did it! I am so so sorry it took me so long to complete the request! I wanted to write my Halloween ones before the 31st, then I was hit with the craziest writers block of my life! I finally got over it last night and was about to get this out! I did change up some stuff a bit but I hope you still enjoy!

Criminal

criminal/villain!miguel x copFM!reader

Summary: Miguel hates cops, well all expect one...

Word count: 5,716

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Smut with Plot, Praise, Unprotected Penetrative Sex (wrap it before you tap it), Oral, Fingering, Cum eating, Sexy fun gas?, Breeding kink, Slight chocking, Slight Overstimulation. Miguel calls reader his 'good girl'.

The room is dark, and the sounds of whirling machines fill the space. The office-like space is filled with gadgets and an arrangement of computers, new developments in tech and torn apart failures. Then a low groan seems to light the room's holo-screens adding an orange glow to the space.

Layla appears in a flicker glowing in her yellow light “Sooo, I’m going to take a guess and assume that the plan didn’t go well?”

Another groan releases from the dark shadows of the room, and Layla rolls her eyes “Come on boss, no use sulking about it.”

From the darkness his red eyes glow first, then he emerges from the shadows, the scowl of his face being reflected from the intimating mask. “Those damn cops…I hate those damn cops…they ruin all my plans…” Miguel grumbles to the AI as he walks to the Holo screens.

Miguel O’Hara, better known as the allusive criminal mastermind, Spider-Man. Miguel had picked up the title when he received his spider-like abilities in a freak lab accident. Miguel was given a chance that people often dream about, the option to become a superhero and use his powers to protect the city he resides in.

But…

Miguel didn't ask for these powers.

Also, this was Neva York, a city filled with corruption, where, as Miguel was concerned, only the lowest of low resited. So instead of using his powers to help save the city, he used them to save himself, exclusively.

“You know Miguel that isn’t true…you don't hate all cops,” Layla says with a grin

Deactivating the mask portion of his spider suit, and scowling at Laylal he didn’t need her quips right now, with the night he'd had anything could set him off. Instead of falling for the teasing he grumbles to himself as he starts swiping away at his screens.

Miguel despises the cops, the goody two shoes always trying to ruin his plans. Having to evade them was an inconvenience and he hated being inconvenienced. Though he would never outwardly admit it, Layla had a point, he didn't hate all cops. There was one who was different, one who had snared him in their dazzling web of righteousness, you.

Miguel remembers when he first met you,

He had just gotten done stealing some new revolutionary tech from Alcamax. The cops were hot on his trail, running through the facility where he was avoiding capture. Not that those idiots could catch him. The goal was the exit to the roof so he could easily swing to freedom. Sharply turning corners and sprinting through the halls he knew he was approaching his escape.

While quickly taking a turn that would lead him to the roof access he crashed into something or more like somebody…

A sharp squeak had been your first response to him crashing into you, caging you underneath his massive form. Urging himself to get up and run he instead found himself unable to. Feeling your soft warm body pressed against him had him ignoring all basic instincts. Don’t even get him started on your face, those wide doe eyes, your sweet lips sucking in a gasp, the slight red that was blossoming on your cheeks. It was impossible not to stare.

Caught in the surprise you didn’t scream or speak at all, you just stared back with that adorable slack jaw expression. Breathing became slowly shallower as the moment lingered. So many thoughts went through his head: Tie you up? Talk to you? Take you?

Finally, the moment was interrupted by your radio going off inquiring about your position. (underneath the enemy) Quickly rising to his feet he runs for the exit door. Against his better judgment, he turns around to see if you're radioing for backup, pointing your gun at him, or chasing after him. None of that is the case as he sees you staring at him with that shocked expression still plastered to your flushed face.

Thinking back to the memory he feels his face warm slightly, he had been stuck on that moment since that night…

“Layla, open file 10-7,” he commands, layla rolls her eyes with a smirk she knows exactly what file he wants to see.

The file is opened filling the holo screen, there is a lot of information and an arrangement of pictures, and what is this information and pictures of? You of course! Scrolling more he stops on your department photo, you're all done up in your uniform showcasing that beautiful smile. Were cops even allowed to be pretty?

Since the run-in with you Miguel took it upon himself to look into you, what he found was a good-hearted caring person, you were a cop who was working for a corrupted city but your goodwill for justice was intriguing, you were one of the good ones, Miguel just couldn’t help himself with you…

“Have you been keeping an eye on her?”

“Oh? Of your little girlfriend?”

“Not my girlfriend…she's a damn cop..” a damn sexy one…

Layla drifts around looking at her AI-manicured hand, “Then I guess you don’t want to watch the video of her catching a suspect huh?”

Miguel's ears perk up, “Show me…”

“Nuh uh, magic word?”

“Now!” Miguel slams his hands on the desk, and Layla scoffs at his temper.

“Jeez, alright Mr. Pleasant, the magic word was please by the way”

Typing away at the screens Layla pulls up a video of you pursuing a thief. Miguel can’t help but get excited from seeing you in action. Never has he been attracted to anyone in uniform, but with the way your outfit hugged your curves and the way you moved, he was salivating. The suspect had turned to punch you but you quickly dodged (you must have taken some extra training from the last time he saw you). Dodging you grab the suspect's wrist twisting it into an armbar pinning them to a wall. Miguel can’t hide the excitement of watching you succeed.

“That a girl” He whispers with his eyes lighting up, fist clenched tightly, an almost smile that looks like it teases at the corners of his lips. Quick to cover his excitement with Layla floating around he clears his throat going back to his usual expression. Little does Miguel know this is nothing new for Layla, she's well aware of his little fanboy tendencies when he thinks no one's watching. -He's so obvious.

Saving the new video to the file he continues to scroll through watching videos of you, of your heroic escapades, Layla slowly drifts into his vision with a smug smile on her face, Miguel just rolls his eyes and scoffs.

“Yeah Miguel, looks like you really hate cops…”

With his criminal lifestyle it's only natural he changes locations often to avoid the cops getting close enough to figure out who he could be. Sure it was a pain in the ass to have to move apartments every couple of months but it was keeping the cops in the dark and him free to continue his black market deals.

The new apartment was nice enough, but he always made sure not to get too attached; it was temporary only. He had started to adjust to the new space, being here only three days. Unpacking, surveying the area, and avoiding neighbors. It was the same routine wherever he went, just be a ghost, unseen and unnoticed…

A knock on the door is all it took to interrupt him from his daydream of a plan. Great…A nosy neighbor, that's the last thing he needs to muck up his plan. Heading to the door in an irritated rush he swings the door open ready to reject the pryer, the scowl on his face pressed firmly, till it's replaced to one of surprise.

Miguel had to resist all urges to pinch himself, there you were, the face he had been staring at, the one he would see when he saw you on patrols, the one he would think about when those lonely nights were partially dreadful. He can’t help his eyes looking you up and down. He has only ever seen you in your uniform in person now you're dressed in your casual clothes, now to just see you in no clothes, then he could die a happy man.

Clearing your throat he instantly straightens his back, he feels his hands suddenly become clammy, has he been staring too long?

“Hello, I’m y/n, I live down the hall. I saw you moving in a few days ago and I just wanted to say welcome to the building.” your voice is like a drug, he could listen to you ramble for days about anything. But now he feels himself staring.

Shit! Quick, seem relaxed, lean against the doorway, leaning shows a chill individual that would be cool to hang out with. Miguel suddenly slumps his shoulder into the doorway in an awkward lean. The suddenness of the lean makes it look like he lost his balance and you jump a little at the action. Seeing your confused expression he tries to do something with his arms, he goes from them being straight against his sides to one being on his hip to finally settle them to being crossed against his chest. Nailed it.

“W-well I didn’t realize y-y-you were the welcome committee,” he fumbles out. Fuck! Stuttering now? Really?

Looking at your face he sees it swarming with concern “Sir are you okay?”

“yeah…just wondering why the universe hates me…” He lets out in a faint whisper

“What?”

“Nothing…my name is Miguel…”

Great, could he have fucked this up more? He's a damn criminal, he's been on top of you! Why is he acting like this? Before he can continue his inner lamenting, you let out a laugh. It's the sweetest cutest laugh he's ever had the pleasure to hear.

“You're pretty shy, huh? Miguel?”

Miguel can only smile down at your perfection, hearing your sultry voice finally saying his name. His heart feels as if it could burst at any moment “You have no idea…”

“Well you don’t need to be shy around me, I was hoping we could be friends. Give me one second!” Miguel watches as you scramble back to your apartment. Of course, he's going to remember which one was yours, but just to keep tabs on you…nothing more…

Coming back out holding a Tupperware box, you quickly hand it over to him with that adorable smile. You're too sweet…

“I baked some cookies, hope you like chocolate chip” too sweet…

“Too sweet…” he mutters

“Oh, you don’t like cookies?”

His whole body tenses, “No! I mean, I do…like cookies…I like sweets, I was just saying you're too sweet, Like these cookies…” Miguel holds up the cookies with a wide smile, can the universe just swallow him…he's acting like a damn idiot…

You let out a laugh, sure, you're laughing at him but, he can't help how his chest pangs at the sound of your sweet voice and your soft face…he's got it bad for you…

“Well, thank you, I hope you enjoy them, hope they are not too sweet for you.” He swears you winked at him, or maybe it was just him hallucinating, maybe the whole thing was a hallucination. Watching you enter your apartment you wave bye, looking down he still sees the box of treats in his hand, nope this was real. Back in his apartment he places the cookies on the counter and opens the container. The cookies are perfect, he takes one of the sugary circles and takes a bite. Dammit…It's fantastic….maybe he can stay here longer than he usually does….

“Sure, he's a bit…awkward but it's kinda sweet when he rambles plus sometimes he stutters.”

You and Jess had no new duties at the moment so you decided to tell her all about your neighbor, it had been a month or so and you were getting quite close to Miguel. A nice neighborly friendship had blossomed between you two. Was he a shy rambling mess yes, but it was oddly cute…he was cute…and something about him…every time you saw him seemed so…familiar…

“Oh man, sounds like your villain boyfriend has some competition” Jess smirks at you. Face dropping to irritation you're not amused by the teasing.

“Will I ever live that down?” you grimace.

Jess wraps her arm around your shoulder, “You're the one who let him go”

“I was in shock, It was an accident, He fell on me! And even though he was masked…I could just feel his stare on me…so intense…”

“Well let's hope we have no more intense moments with the criminal, captain was on your ass about it for weeks…”

“I know…” You rest your head down in defeat on my desk, the interaction with the ever elusive spider-man had been plaguing you for months. Nobody could let go that you had let the criminal go. It's not like it was on purpose, he had taken you by surprise…with his solid body…pressed onto yours…his burning warmth almost scorching your skin. You have to shake away the thoughts remembering to get a grip. That guy was something else…

Jess just slightly chuckles patting your shoulder to bring you back from your thoughts, “Tell me more about your high school crush on your neighbor”

You shoot her a look “It's not like that, he's just interesting and I like chatting with him in the hall.”

“Sure totally, let me ask you this, do you walk slowly to your apartment to see if he will exit to get a chance to run into him?”

Staring at her you avert your gaze feeling embarrassed she figured you out so quickly. Jess busts out in laughter “Sounds like a crush girl”

“It's not a crush!”

She smiles leaning in, mockery lacing her voice “Oh, stuck between the awkward nerd and the criminal bad boy, tsk tsk, sounds like a romantic drama.”

Opening your mouth to rebuttal your radio goes off calling you and Jess into the captain's office, this discussion will have to continue later.

Rushing into the captain's office he sits there with a very serious look on his face. “We think we finally figured out where that spider freak has been hiding. You two need to go to The Haverlands and check out the abandoned building on 5th street, report back your findings, understand?”

‘Yes sir’ you and Jess say in unison. Turning to head out caption speaks up getting your attention

“And we don't want any mishaps like last time y/n..” you nod quickly and head out on your assignment, people were never going to let that go.

“I don't understand, can't you just talk to her at the complex” Layla floats around Miguel's head as he types away at his screens seeming to be setting up for something. Miguel huffs and rolls his eyes at her comment, is she serious?

“No I can’t, every time she's near I turn into a stumbling idiot. Though she may hate me, I can talk to her directly from behind the mask.”

“So, you want to get closer to her? But the only way you can do that is by being a criminal?” Layla looks at Miguel confused “You humans make no sense..”

“Look, I want to know more and this is how I can do it seriously, I have to find out what makes her tick, what makes her want to save this waste of a city.” Miguel pauses for a moment, sure, the plan was radical and the likelihood it would blow up in his face was high. There is just something he can’t shake, you're different from the other cops, from how you act to how you looked at him that day…he just knows there's something to you. “Now did you check that she was for sure coming?”

“I hacked into the system and saw that she was on the assignment with her partner.”

“Good, we just need to get her alone, just need to set it up, don’t need anything messing this up” Miguel's stare was intense on the screen, this was important to him. It had to happen like planned no surprises.

“Don’t worry boss everything will go on without a hitch” Layla smirks as she types away on the screens. Layla was up to something….

Everything was going as planned, you and your partner had arrived as anticipated. Miguel knew that you two were here to find his hideout, but he would never actually let that happen, this was just a front house he used to meet with dealers and coordinate business from. He's far too careful to have his actual hideout compromised. Though, if a particular cop were to wander in…he would not find himself minding too much…

All he had to do now was wait as you made your way towards him. It was all going without a hitch, and he could hardly contain his excitement. Finally, you walk through the threshold of his office, the door quickly shuts and locks itself trapping you inside. Examining the room carefully you walked through trying to look for anything to show if the villain was there. Emerging from the darkness Miguel appears in his iconic spider suit. Face cover obviously.

“Well, well, if it isn't the clumsy cop?”

“Uh, you ran into me, spider boy”

“Unimportant details”

“Actually, important facts”

Before you can even process, Miguel shoots his blazing webs forward and brings him suddenly closer to you. His tall figure standing over you takes your breath away. The shocked look on your face makes him grin from under his mask, it’s your turn to be the stumbling one.

Without a second thought, Miguel is taking your gun from your holster, in case you have any ideas. Sliding the gun away he looks back at you expecting to see a look of fear, though he sees your face as fierce as ever. Such a brave girl…

“What's with the look?” he mocks in a cocky tone

“I’m not scared of you” Your eyes pierced through him, he could tell you meant business.

“Oh? Well, aren't you a brave cop?”

“I’m not brave, I just think if you were going to do something you would have.” -damn, she's not wrong.

“Why do you do this?” The sudden question catches Miguel off guard for a second.

“Do what?”

Gesturing around with your hands you look around, “this? Crime? You have abilities people can only dream about, why not use them for good?”

Miguel scoffs “Is this you trying to convert me?”

“This is me trying to figure you out so I can stop you from doing this.”

Miguel starts walking closer causing you to back up, it's not until your back is against a wall do you stop. His large arms cage you between him and the wall.

Miguel's voice comes off gruff, “Let me ask you this, why do you do what you do?”

“I want to help people”

A laugh comes out of him “In this corrupted city?”

“Not everyone is like that…plus you could help…”

“Not my job to be a hero…” he leans in closer to your face, but you don’t back down.

“But it's never too late to change your mind.”

Miguel can't help himself from placing his fingers on your jaw tilting your head up further to meet his masked eyes. “Why are you so interested in me?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

That smart mouth of yours…it's taking all his willpower not to taste you. Do you feel this passion too? This magnetism you two share? You have to…that's why you're not fighting him right?

Before Miguel can respond to you a noise catches his attention…a whining sound? Looking up he sees wall panels moving, one happens to be directly in front of his face. What?

In an instant, a white gas blasted out of the panels filling the room. From where Miguel was staring the gas had hit him directly. Stumbling back he tries to cover his face while you do the same.

“What the hell is this gas?” you whine through the haze

“I don’t know, I didn't plan this!”

“What do you mean you didn't plan this!”

“I’m saying all this is just as surprising to me as it is to you!” he coughs through the gas trying not to inhale more than he has, but it's no use.

Rolling your eyes you keep your mouth and nose covered, “unbelievable”

“I heard that!”

“You were supposed to!”

Miguel looks around wildly trying to figure out the cause, he goes to his desk to activate the holo computers but everything is down and not responding. Trying to urge them to work he feels a strange warmth growing in his chest, ignoring it he tries to get his bearings but that odd warmth is starting to feel like a slow burn. His abdomen is constricting in a deep knot, his hands are becoming clammy.

What is this gas? What is this reaction? His body feels like lava is rushing through him. Looking over to you he wants to see if you're having the same reaction. Seeing you his breath stops and all the hot blood rushes down to his cock with a painful throb. Your body looks to be shivering a tensing as each second passes, Your face, your body, your damn smell, everything about you in this instance is calling to his primal desires, begging to be fucked. Slamming his fist down on the table he feels his cock throb violently. He needs to get control but as the room continues to fill with gas he feels his rational mind slipping to irrational thought.

Talons scratching on the table, it's taking everything for him to keep himself together. It's not until a yellow glow catches his attention that he looks at Layla's smirking face that he begins to connect the dots to what this gas is meant for. An aphrodisiac …

“What did you do!” he growls

“Well….I figured you two needed a way to let out all your frustrated feelings, so I’m just giving you two, a little nudge.” she winks and disappears.

Of course, and what better way to get people to open up than having them drugged up with a lust mist? He needs to have a look at her program again.

The room continues to fill with the white gas and Miguel and you can’t help but cough and try to not breathe in the gas. Miguel's whole body feels like it's on fire, breathing in the gas makes his chest feel like he's inhaling shards of glass, the pain being immense. Becoming lightheaded he leans on the desk to support his body, a ringing noise clouding his ears till he hears your sweet voice.

Turning around still slumped on the desk he observes your shivering body, your hands are pressed to your chest, the pain probably also in your lungs, but the face you making…eyes hooded mouth hanging open as you stare at him, he can hear every breath you make, your mumblings sounding like sweet begging. Swallowing thickly he can’t help but feel his body tease as he watches you squirm around.

Closing his eyes he tries to calm himself but all he can think of is you and how badly he needs to feel your cool skin, and you need to feel his hot body.

The gas turns off and you and Miguel are still trapped in the room. Though the gas has stopped the damage has been done, His body feels like it's reaching a fever pitch, and you can not stop shaking and staring at the masked man hunched on the desk. Watching his rampant breathing and the way his chest falls up and down has your mind fogging.

“L-listen, we n-need to get out of here” you stutter out as you carefully approach him.

Before you can even make it a few inches closer he's already on you, hand pressed to your throat. The feel of his burning heat on your cold skin has you whimpering a moan you can’t hold in. This is insane, he's a villain, you don't want this, but you do, you're desperate for more. The arousal is dripping from your cunt, it aches, and it yearns to be touched by him. Those lonely nights…thinking of his body rutting into you…your secret desires coming to fruition.

The bottom of his mask disappears and he quickly kisses you in a burning passion, slipping his tongue in to get a taste of you. He softly lowers the two of you to the floor. The cool of your hands has him groaning from your touch, he needs to feel more, he needs you to cool his body. Equally as desperate for his touch you spread your legs for him to settle between, feeling him rub his hard length against your clothed cunt and he ruts into you against the floor.

The gas has stopped now, and you're well aware of how crazy this all is, but the tightening around your throat, the teasing against your sex, and how his searing kiss was spreading warmth throughout your whole body, you couldn't help but succumb to the gas lusting your mind.

Miguel is completely lost in his desires, getting sprayed directly in the face has only made his lust worse. His plus lips move away from your soft lips, a string of saliva keeping you two connected. Looking down at you he sees your pleading eyes, the gas has affected you both but he's still buckling into you like an animal.

“I need you y/n, I can’t hold myself back, so please…let me take you or shoot me…”

The desperation in his voice has your skin tingling, you understand his words but you're equally desperate, all you can do is run your trembling hands down his tight chest to his perfect abdomen. Your voice is a trembling whisper honeyed with desire, his heightened senses ring it through his ears. “Take me…”

With that his suit is dissipating revealing his bronzed sculpted body to you, keeping the mask halfway on his face, of course… The clothes clad on your pricking skin are slowly shed and his warm lips trail over your cold skin. Both desperately hungry for each other the undressing is slow and controlled, building the tension for each other to a new high. Lifting your hips you aid him in shedding your pants, his massive hands hook into your panties, you can’t help your hips buckling as he peels the ruined panties from your slick sex.

Warm hands squeeze your ass while his lips caress your hip bones. All you can do is whimper as he trails down to your sex. Not being shy, he presses his nose to your swollen clit taking in the scent of your desperate arousal, he swears he could burst from the sweet smell alone but a taste is what he's been craving for all these months. Not wanting to waste another second he licks the slick from your puffy folds, teasing around your tight slit relishing is how you whine and push closer to his face as he does. Before plunging the muscles inside he wraps his lips around your clit licking and sucking softly.

Hands gripping your ass tighter he pulls you closer to his face, releasing your clit he plunges into your quivering slit, constricting around his muscle as he gets drunk on your essence. Maybe it's from the gas or maybe it's how he keeps expertly eating you out you're quickly coming on his face, letting the release out with a silent scream. Eagering licking up your sweet release he can't help but groan into you. The vibration makes your body shake with the slight overstimulation. But it's intoxicating.

“That's my good girl, fuck, you taste sweeter than those cookies…” Now maybe you're still too blissed out on your orgasm, but you swear you heard him say that with his two fingers now spreading you open, you can’t be too sure you could hear anything past his cooing and your shameful moans.

Miguel could care less if you heard what he said or not. All he can focus on is stretching your tight cunt enough for him to get inside, he wants you desperately but he wants you to enjoy it with no pain. He wants to take care of his good girl.

“Play with yourself,” He commands as he pumps his throbbing cock, using the dribbling precum to lubricate down to the shaft. Being the good girl you are you quickly spread your folds open and run your clit letting him watch your pulsating entrance.

Lining up he slapped his fat tip against your cunt biting his lip as you tease and jumped at each teasing smack, overstimulating you further, “Fuck, you want me to stretch you out mi buena niña?”

All you can do is nod fanatically whimpering out soft yeses, “Such a good girl, I’ll make sure to really fill you up”

Your eyes go wide as he smirks stocking his thick length before brushing away your hands to line up to your slit. The thick tip nudges into your glistening hole, feeling him push through your clenching cunt you can’t help but arch from the stretch and how it's warming your whole body instantly.

Pushing into you inch by inch he feels the burning in his body slowly dissipating as he continues his friction in you. Leaning down he peppers kisses along your collarbone going up to your neck, nipping and kissing his way to your ear.

“Ah, you feel fucking perfect for me, do you know how long I’ve wanted you? And now you're mine”

Thrusting deeper, you can't help but wrap your legs around him and hold tightly to his shoulders as he bullies deeper into your clenching cunt. Feeling your sticky lubricant drip down from his cock to your ass with each in and out of his cock.. Never have you felt so full and never has he felt someone quiver so tightly drenching his cock. you're sloppy wet for him and all you can think about is his hot cum painting your strained walls. Your body is begging for him to breed you, to fill you up as his. Maybe this is less the gas now and more your own desires.

“You clenching so tight guapa, it's like you want me to breed you”

His words have you looking at him with hooded eyes nodding breathlessly, oh? Miguel starts thrusting harder into you, speeding up his thrust rolling into you deeper, hitting your sweet spot making you choke out a moan as stars pluck at your vision.

“Is that what you want? Tell me, beg me for it.”

His tip thrusting against your cervix now has your pussy clenching down on his cock, you can’t help but hold on to him tighter, digging your nails into his skin as you get fucked dumb, screaming out your response.

“Yes! Pl-Please! Fill me up! I want to be so full!” if you were in your right mind you would have died from embarrassment. But Miguel absolutely loves your desperate pleas.

Your body is starting to feel warm, the cold shivers being chased away by Miguel's cock bullying into your cervix harder than before. Miguel feels his fever coming down at his new pace, he watches as his cock sheathes in and out of your swollen cunt, and a white ring forms around the base of his cock, feeling your clench tighter he’s determined to fuck you through your organism and fill you up till its spilling out.

Like a crashing wave, your orgasm hits you, causing you to cum on the masked criminal. The organism has your body feeling fuzzy and blissed out, screaming in pleasure like an unashamed whore. Miguel's rutting finally stills as he feels his thick cum releasing into your gummy walls, he can stop himself from fucking the cum deeper into you, a primal part of him hopping it takes to claim you as his permanently.

Finally feeling his burning heat disappear while you finally feel warm no longer shivering, you two stay in place, panting at each other for a moment slowly coming down from your highs and back to your senses. Finally pulling out Miguel watches as his seed spills from you, he has to restrain himself from wanting to push it back into you with his fingers. To his surprise, however, your hand reaches down to do the action for him.

Miguel watches in awe as his good girl tries to keep herself full, overstimulating your abused cunt in the process as you shove the cum back into your puffy cunt. He's going to keep this etched in his memory forever. Leaning over you he gently takes your hand away. Bring your ruined fingers to his lips, he licks your fingers clean, then leans down to kiss your lips parting your mouth to slip the sweet and salty taste to your tongue.

His suit quickly recovers him and he gathers your clothes and hands them to your bare form. “Get dressed, quickly” Leaning down he pressed a finger to your lips “And keep this a secret my good girl.”

The blush on your face can’t be helped as he instructs you with subtle praise. As you're getting dressed, Miguel finally gets the room back in working order, opening the doors so he can escape. Before he leaves he looks back to you. There is so much he wants to say but everything is catching in his throat, it feels just like when he sees you in the halls.

“M-maybe, I could be good…for you” With that, he quickly exits through an open door.

Taken aback by the confession all you can focus on is the voice, the slight stutter and how familiar it was…

Finally dressed you make your way to find Jess, The encounter deliciously replaying in your mind. The parts you keep replaying on a loop? His voice, maybe it's time you do some digging to make some connections….It will have to be your secret though…

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