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ataurusinabookshop · 4 months

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Cupcakes (Chocolate Cupcakes with a Strawberry Mousse Frosting) from A Gorgeous Villain by Saffron A Kent

Cupcakes:

▢ 1 package Betty Crocker Chocolate Fudge Cake Mix 15.25 oz

▢ 1 package chocolate fudge pudding mix, dry 3.9 oz

▢ 3 large eggs at room temperature

▢ 1/2 cup vegetable oil

▢ 1/4 cup sour cream

▢ 1/2 cup vanilla Greek yogurt or plain

▢ 2 and 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract

▢ 1 cup buttermilk

Frosting:

▢ 2 cups strawberries stems removed

▢ 1/2 cup strawberry pudding dry

▢ 2 cups Cool Whip

▢ Optional: powdered sugar and strawberries to garnish

Instructions

Cupcakes

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line a muffin tin with liners and set aside.

In a large bowl, sift together the pudding and cake mix.

In a separate bowl, combine the eggs, vegetable oil, sour cream, yogurt, and vanilla.

Mix wet and dry until combined (do not over-stir or beat in too much air)

Fill up the liners 3/4ths the way full and bake for 17-20 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Remove and let cool.

Frosting:

Remove the strawberry stems. Place the strawberries in a food processor and pulse until completely liquid. Stir in the strawberry pudding and then lightly fold in the Cool Whip.

Using a star tip pipe the strawberry filling onto the completely cooled chocolate cupcakes.

Optionally garnish with a piece of a strawberry and a sprinkle of powdered sugar

#booklr #bookish #books #bookworm #booknerd #book nerd #bibliophile #books and libraries #book recommendations #book boyfriend #saffron a Kent #stmary’s rebels #a gorgeous villain #foodie romance #the recipe critic

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lexxwithbooks · 2 years

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📖: 𝑩𝒂𝒅 𝑩𝒐𝒚 𝑩𝒍𝒖𝒆𝒔 (𝑆𝑡. 𝑀𝑎𝑟𝑦'𝑠 𝑅𝑒𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑠 #0.5) 💙💋🏍

✍🏽: 𝐒𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐀. 𝐊𝐞𝐧𝐭

Get the book!🌟

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ash-and-books · 2 years

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Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb: HEARTSTONE SERIES - BOOK 1. A COMPLETE STANDALONE Willow Taylor lives in a castle with large walls and iron fences. But this is no ordinary castle. It’s called Heartstone Psychiatric hospital and it houses forty other patients. It has nurses with mean faces and techs with permanent frowns. It has a man, as well. A man who is cold and distant. Whose voice drips with authority. And whose piercing gray eyes hide secrets, and maybe linger on her face a second too long. Willow isn’t supposed to look deep into those eyes. She isn’t supposed to try to read his tightly leashed emotions. And neither is she supposed to touch herself at night, imagining his powerful voice and that cold but beautiful face. No, Willow Taylor shouldn’t be attracted to Simon Blackwood, at all. Because she’s a patient and he’s her doctor. Her psychiatrist. The medicine man. WARNING: This book discusses sensitive issues including but not limited to, depression and suicide

Review:

A snow princess, a medicine man, and forbidden romance. Willow Taylor comes from a family of independent, beautiful women... but she’s alway known something was off in her blood. On her 18th birthday... she tries to kill herself and ends up in a large castle that is actually Heartstone Psychiatric Hospital, originally built by a doctor for his wife who was his patient. Willow has to stay there for more weeks. She bides her time by talking with her friends, avoiding confronting the birthday incident, and thinking about her favorite book series, Harry Potter. When a new doctors is transferred in things begin to change. Willow has always considered herself an ice princess, with long silvery hair and blue eyes and pale skin, it fits. When the new doctor comes she realizes that she’s just met the Ice King. Dr. Simon Alistair Blackwood, grumpy, handsome, cold, and the son of the doctor who built Heartstone Psychiatric Hospital. Simon is dealing with his own demons, he had to leave his previous work place due to an incident with a patient, and is haunted by his own mother’s suicide and the fact that he wants nothing to be like his father, and that means not falling in love with the beautiful young patient. Simon and Willow are constantly watching each other, dancing around their issues and feelings. The chemistry and forbidden romance is PROMINENT in this book. I absolutely adored it. There is an age gap, there is FORBIDDEN ROMANCE, and but if you go into it knowing that and are fine with it, it’s a pleasant and really good read. The book alternates between Simon and WIllow’s POV ( but mostly Willow’s) and deals with a lot of issues of depression, mental health, eating disorders, suicide, and trauma. I definitely will be picking up the rest of the books!

#book review #bookish #book #romance read #medicine man #saffron a kent #romance book review #romance book

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cenestpasaudrey · 18 days

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200 books in 2024 update 📚

End of Q1 - I managed to finish 77 books 🎉

The books I liked were:

Picking Daisies on Sundays - Liana Cincotti

A Hue of Blu - Marie-France Leger

If Only I Had Told Her - Laura Nowlin

Lotus - Jennifer Hartmann

You Beautiful Thing, You - Saffron A. Kent

Caught Up - Liz Tomforde

The Devil Wears Black - L.J. Shen

Archer's Voice - Mia Sheridan

#books #booktok #book goals #picking daisies on sundays #liana cincotti #a hue of blu #marie-france leger #if only i had told her #laura nowlin #lotus #jennifer hartmann #you beautiful thing you #saffron a. kent #caught up #liz tomforde #the devil wears black #l.j. shen #archer's voice #mia sheridan

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alittlebookoflove · 6 months

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[Review] You Beautiful Thing you by Saffron Kent

“You Beautiful Thing you” is Saffron Kent’s first book in her spin off /new series on the Boys of Bardstown.

This book follows a much anticipated couple, Tempest and Ledger and their tumultuous relationship.

For readers familiar to Kent’s previous series where in which Tempest and Ledger have had many frosty interactions with each other you could tell that their relationship if it ever eventuated was going to be explosive.

In YBTY we are taken back in time initially to see when they first met each other, and rather satisfyingly get to see the beginning of their relationship/tension from both view points.

But to bring us back to the present we realise that Tempest’s actions in life as an adult and with impending nuptials that have been arranged for her are governed /forced by her father. Who , to put it lightly, is selfish and evil.

This whole storyline of how manipulative her father is requires just a bit too much logic to be suspended to actually seem believable.

Why wouldn’t Tempest just tell her brother Reed? Ok the dad threatens to ruin Reed’s life- but he literally went through this before and managed to sort out the dad?

And then Tempest wants a baby? Because Reed and Callie have one? And she’s clucky? But she wants revenge on Ledger for…. Using her all those years ago and then ignoring her. But halfway through she doesn’t actually want that much revenge on him. And by then she’s pregnant.

I felt like the premise of the book had a lot of promise but when reading about it I couldn’t back any one character.

I normally love enemies to lovers the most as a romance trope, and I think I was hoping for something a little like The Hatesick diaries, one of Saffron Kent’s previous masterpieces.

I don’t quite think this book delivered that for me. What was great to see as always was Kent’s world building in this book as she sets up future couples- most being Ledger’s older twin brothers and the respective girls they are involved with.

Looking forward to those books for sure!

#romance #contemporary romance #enemiestolovers #enemies to lovers #saffron kent #tempest ledger

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deunmiu-dessie · 5 days

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he misses you. he misses you like a flower misses the sun. like the desert misses the rain. like you are the entirety of his being. as if you hold the key to his fierce, thumping bloody heart within the palm of your hands, like he is nothing without you— and perhaps he isn't. he doesn't feel like himself, no, in fact, he feels empty. like a shell of the man he used to be before you. he feels as though the world has lost its color, its meaning, and it makes him feel bare— it makes him feel.

he misses you. he misses the warmth of your perfume, a sweet and spicy blended aroma of saffron and sugared lavender. he misses your smile, all wide and pretty— genuine and charming, and always all for him. he misses the sound of your laughter, raw and boisterous, but sometimes soft and breathy, intimate. he misses your kisses, shy and cloying— yet fierce and angry at times as well. he misses the small things, like the scatter of moles across the expanse of your body that he finds himself counting when he can't fall asleep. or the way you fuss over him, mumbling curses and your love for him all in the same sentence.

he is nothing without you, and he knows it all too well.

the soft jangle of your keys in the lock makes him look up from his journal, the door swinging open. and despite himself, he finds that he's softened underneath your warm, loving gaze. ah, he also misses the sound of your voice, euphonious and soft, a tone you use for him specifically.

❝why are you looking at me like that?❞

he can feel his heart dance within his chest, pounding fiercely as you slant your hip to the side, the very same hips he adores holding onto when swaying with you to music. your eyes, which always seem to sweep him under with their intensity with no fail, are glittering with mirth, it knocks the breath from his chest. ❝ i adore you,❞ he utters— he sounds like a fool in love, and he doesn't particularly mind it. your cheeks flush with color and you playfully roll your eyes. that's alright, you don't need to say it back, he knows.

❝help me with the groceries?❞

he? ⸺ SIMON, gojo satoru, DAMON SALVATORE, soap, older!TANJIRO, scott mccall, GAZ, clark kent, EMMETT CULLEN, leon kennedy, STEVE HARRINGTON, giyu tomioka, JOHN PRICE, loran, ULYSSES, rick grimes, KÖNIG, dick grayson, SPENCER REID.

honestly it can be anyone you envision.

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paperback-wishes · 1 year

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The HATESICK Diaries by Saffron A. Kent

When I fall into a reading slump, I google when the next Saffron A Kent novel comes out. Echo Adler is an absolute gem in this book. I have trouble picking favorite heroines, but she scrapped her way into my list. I love her spirit and attitude, she’s a good friend and so sweet. I also love a heroine who lives for the drama and angst. And of course, Reign Davidson. Who absolute drives this…

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#Book reviews #books #new books #Reviews #romance #romance novels #Saffron A. Kent

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countingdots-tc · 3 months

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TEACHER/STUDENT BOOK RECS

*if you want me to add a forbidden romance list, let me know*

𓃠 This is a list with links to books that have teacher/student, age gap, and experienced/less experienced themes that I have read! These are in order from most recommended to least recommended based on my opinion.

𓃠 This will be updated as I read more! Think something should be added to the list, then let me know!

𓃠 To find the Age Gap/TeacherxStudent Movie list, click on the link on my pinned post!

⭐️= highly recommend/changed my life

😇= no smut

🌶️=contains smut

💦=read to really get your rocks off

highlighted=warning

PROFESSOR/COACH BOOK LIST

The Unrequited by Saffron A. Kent-⭐️😇

ProfessorxStudent & mental health themes

Cute little poet embarrassingly falls for her grumpy professor. Beautiful slow burn and perfectly describes what it feels like to want someone and not feel enough for them. She is such a realistic female lead and reminds me a lot of y’all 😂. This is THE teacher crush community book. If you don’t read anything read this!!

The Professor by Invi Wright-⭐️🌶️

ProfessorxStudent

Cute romance by young, new, and self published author. Very relatable female lead. If you enjoyed The Unrequited, you will like this book for all of the same reasons. Quick and easy read, only 240. She isn’t perfect, she clumsy, and I wouldn’t even say she’s socially awkward, she just a normal college student in her early 20s. She’s a fun narrator. This author has a lot of potential and her writing will only get better.

Gabriel’s Inferno by Slyvain Reynard-⭐️😇

ProfessorxStudent

Such a good dark academia book. Beautifully written and actually has a movie adaptation. I would definitely recommend this if you want a realistic couple but a bit more serious. Characters have so much depth

Off Balance Series by Lucia Franco- 💦

CoachxStudent

Warning: female lead is age of consent NOT legal age.

If you want something really forbidden and fucked up, read this. If you want the MOST insane sex scenes, read this (MINORS STOP). I really don’t even want to add this series to this list but for the girls who wanna go there, have fun. I started this when I was still in high school, read the 3rd one as an adult, it’s not as easy to read now. Take that info as you please

Lessons In Sin by Pam Goodwin-🌶️

TeacherxStudent with 18 Y.O female lead

Troubled rich girl gets sent off to a catholic boarding school and falls for the asshole Dean of the school. Smut is pretty good, plot works. I’m not going to say it’s bad, I think whether or not it’s enjoyable depends on the person. It wasn’t bad, I just wasn’t obsessed. If you’re just trying to live vicariously through her (aren’t we all), then it works!

Teach Me by L. L. Ash-🌶️

ProfessorxStudent

Really good start, and I do mean GREAT start… I just feel like the sex scene came too soon (Ch. 9/32) and it threw me off but I also like SUPER slow burns. It’s still a good book. I enjoyed the male love interest, Professor Harlo. They’re cute together. Grump and Sunshine.

Dark Notes by Pam Goodwin-

TeacherxStudent & themes of abuse

Probably DNF-ing

AGE GAP BOOK LIST

Something In The Way Series by Jessica Hawkins-⭐️😇

Sister’s Boyfriend/Husband & “I saw him first”

Most beautiful romance series I’ve ever read, best written books by Jessica Hawkins. I recommend all of her other books. Lake is 16 when she first meets Manning but nothing sexual happens between them for another 3 books until she’s in her 20s. Beautiful slow burn with characters full of depth.

Sinner by Sierra Simone- ⭐️💦

Brother’s Best Friend & religious themes

Amazing character creation and mapping. These characters feel real! This book is about “teaching” a girl about sex before she becomes a nun. It’s not just a bang bang, hump hump book. It has heart and it really good. If you enjoy religious themed romance, you may enjoy Priest by Sierra Simone too. I didn’t 💀

Birthday Girl by Penelope Douglas- 💦

Ex’s Dad

Most popular forbidden romance so whatever you’ve heard about it, dump it. This might be the most tame book on this list. Pacing is good, well written main character. Insane amounts of smut but it doesn’t drive the story forward so feel free to skip it if you get tired.

Love Unexpected by Q. B. Tyler- 💦

Ex Stepdad & parent death

This book is HOT! However after the first few scenes, I got a bit tired of the smut. Well written enough female lead with a rushed ending. However if you just need something to read and not despise it, it’s good enough.

Strictly Off Limits by Jessica Hawkins-🌶️

Dad’s Best Friend

Jessica is my favorite author so I’m a bit biased but she definitely isn’t a smut writer. This novella would’ve been better without smut however it isn’t super present and doesn’t really drive the story forward so don’t feel like you’re missing anything if you skip the smut!

The Doctor by Nikki Sloane- 💦

Ex’s Dad

personally didn’t care for this book, smut starts off way too quick and I’m more of a slow burn girl. It is a novella however, it was still too quick. However! You may love it <3

𓃠 If I’m not reading fast enough for you and you want to see what I will be reading in the future here is my Amazon TBR, have at it!

𓃠 If you want to see a more organized bookshelf of what I’ve read, here is my Goodreads!

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ataurusinabookshop · 2 years

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I can’t be the only one who’s reading/read the St. Mary’s Rebels series by Saffron A Kent and now desperately wants a matte lipstick collection of all the colors in the guide. And I want the shades to continue in the spin off!

#booklr #bookish #books #bookworm #booknerd #book nerd #bibliophile #books and libraries #book recommendations #book boyfriend #book blog #bookblr #lipstick #saffron a. kent #romance novels #unrequited love

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pochunts · 11 months

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SHALITA GRANT GIF PACK

— ✰ on the page linked below in the SOURCE LINK, you will find ( FOUR HUNDRED AND FIVE ) hq gifs of SHALITA GRANT sourced from her role as SHERRY CONRAD in season three of YOU (2021). shalita is 34 but was 32 while filming this season. she is of african-american ( unspecified ) descent and identifies as gay, so please cast her accordingly. all gifs were cropped at 245x145 and were made from scratch by feifer for roleplaying purposes only. therefore, i am taking full credit for these.

gifs feature: Chris O’Shea, Penn Badgely, Victoria Pedretti, Shannon Chan-Kent, Travis Van Winkle, Saffron Burrows.

warnings/triggers: Visuals of food, liquids (alcohol), scenes and visuals contexted around nsfw content, visuals of underaged children (faceless), flashes (news van), scenes contexted around a person’s disappearance, scenes contexted around a search party/search party attire (orange vests, colored flags), scenes contexted around the mentions of pregnancy, costumes, scenes contexted around being held hostage, food, blood from being shot in the ear, guns (visuals, firing of), visuals of dried blood.

RULES FOR USAGE:

DO: LIKE or REBLOG if you found these helpful or have any intention of using these.

DO NOT:

add or compile into other sources ( gif hunts, gif sets ).

edit or claim in any way ( redistribute or resize into smaller forms - gif icons. giftangles, etc ).

use to portray the faceclaim in smut rps or real-life celebrity groups.

use these gifs as imagery/visuals for smut writing.

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most-datable-datable-bracket · 10 months

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Most Datable Datable Character round 1 match-ups

Mammon from Obey Me VS Mat Sella from Dream Daddy

Elliott from Stardew Valley VS Colonel Sanders from I Love You, Colonel Sanders!

Sebastian from Stardew Valley VS Brad from Coming Out On Top

Kent from Amnesia VS Zen from Mystic Messenger

707 from Mystic Messenger VS Dimitri Kotov from Tailor Tales

Tamarack Baumann from Our Life: Now and Forever VS Saffron from Potionomics

Roxanne from Potionomics VS Shuu Iwamine from Hatoful Boyfriend

Leano from Potion Permit VS Lucas from Rune Factory 5

V from Mystic Messenger VS Joyce from //TODO: today

Timo Salminen from Love Tangle+ VS Jinguji Ren from Uta no Prince-Sama

Valerie Oberlin from Monster Camp VS Louis from The Walking Dead: The Final Season

Emily from Stardew Valley VS Aiji Yanagi from Collar x Malice

Chrom from Fire Emblem: Awakening VS Corsac from Potionomics

Isabela from Dragon Age VS Ivy Attwood from Love Tangle+

Leah from Stardew Valley VS Nadia Satrinava from The Arcana

Edelgard von Hresvelg from Fire Embelm: Three Houses VS Oliver Cowell from Love Tangle+

Shane from Stardew Valley VS Gregor from Fire Emblem: Awakening

Steph Gingrich from Life is Strange: True Colors VS Fenris from Dragon Age 2

Stu from Monster Roadtrip VS Cove Holden from Our Life: Beginnings and Always

Vishnal from Rune Factory 4 VS Artem Wing from Tears of Themis

Yoosung Kim from Mystic Messenger VS Cliff from Harvest Moon: More Friends of Mineral Town

Ashe from Fire Emblem: Three Houses VS Susumu Yamazaki from Hakuoki

Asmodeus from Obey Me VS Dylas from Rune Factory 4

Luna from Potionomics VS Qiu Lin from Our Life: Now and Forever

Garrus Vakarian from Mass Effect VS Baxter Ward from Our Life: Beginnings and Always

Abigail from Stardew Valley VS Lysithea von Ordelia from Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Julian von Garibaldi from Black Wolves Saga VS Mercedes von Bartels from Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Saint-Germain from Code:Realize VS Laito Sakamaki from Diabolik Lovers

Ayame from Andromeda Six VS Linhardt von Hevring from Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Saeran Choi from Mystic Messenger VS Liara T'soni from Mass Effect

Kei Okazaki from Collar x Malice VS Mint from Potionomics

Finn McNamara from Life is Strange 2 VS Scott Howl from Monster Prom

#It's time to fear for my faves #If Mammon or Cove falls I'm immediately stopping the tournament /j #Not a poll #most datable datable character #Round 1

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foundtherightwords · 1 year

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The Road Forgotten - Chapter 1

Pairing: Arthur Havisham (Dickensian) x OFC

A/N: I made Arthur bisexual and paired him with a female character in this. I know some writers have gotten flack for pairing Arthur with a female character (or reader), so if it's not your cup of tea, please walk away.

This is mostly based on the events of "Dickensian", but I've also incorporated some elements and characters from "Great Expectations". Most notably, Satis House is in Kent (as in the book) instead of in London. I kept the setting "vaguely Victorian", the same as the show though (if I go with the book, it would have to be the early 1800s, since this takes place about 10 years before the start of "Great Expectations", which is in 1812. I've just finished one Regency series and didn't feel like staying there.)

Summary: A few years after his plan to swindle his sister ended in tragedy, Arthur Havisham is a shadow of a man, living in guilt and fear. When Elsie Bradford, a young woman also wronged by Compeyson, enlists Arthur's help to hunt down his former partner-in-crime, Arthur must face his demons and other strange, new feelings, to redeem himself.

Warnings: slow burn, angst (this is standard for me now), revenge, guilt, psychological trauma, mention of prostitution, mention of suicide, some violence, a bit of smut

Chapter word count: 3.2k

Prologue

Saffron Hill was a wretched place to be even in the best of times, but on that miserable night in March, it was a place none but the most desperate would brave. It had been a late, cold spring, and that night was as cold as the middle of winter. Rain fell steadily on the muddy, narrow street, the kind of rain that soaked through waterproofs and chilled a person to the bones, while a merciless wind howled through the alleys filled with refuse. Even the children, who could often be seen crawling in and out of the dark shops at all hours, were rendered invisible. Only the occasional whimpers from behind the termite-infested doors were proof that they hadn't been spirited away by some evil fairy. The sole business that showed some light and life was the Three Cripples. The noises coming from its gas-lit interior were more boisterous than usual, as the inhabitants of Saffron Hill flocked there for some warmth, either in fire, drinks, or company.

However, not everybody was seeking shelter. Opposite the Three Cripples, a figure stood with arms crossed and head bent, heedless of the rain and the wind. From afar, the figure looked to be that of a young man or a boy, broad-shouldered and flat-chested, clad in the usual clothes of a common laborer - trousers and jacket of rough brown corduroy, a black handkerchief wrapped around the collar of an off-white linen shirt in place of a cravat, and a slouch-brimmed hat, which covered the head and most of the face. Only the small, slender hands, sheathed in leather gloves, constantly twitching and plucking at some unseen thread on the jacket sleeves, struck a discordant note.

This person stood leaning against the wall in a pool of shadow between the blinking streetlamps, almost blending in with the murky brickworks, unmoving save for the hands, but the whole body seemed on alert. From under the brim of the hat, a pair of light green eyes looked out, fixed on the bright square of the public house's entrance. Those eyes noticed that a man was also loitering near the door of the Three Cripples, as if waiting for someone. He was a stout, hulking shape, and unlike the figure at the wall, made no effort to conceal his presence. A shaggy, dirty white dog whined at his feet, obviously wanting to go inside where it was warm and agreeable. The whine was answered by a kick from its master, and the dog tugged its tail between its legs, shaking.

Another figure appeared at the mouth of the street, a taller man wearing a frock coat and a top hat. He was dragging his feet and his walking stick on the cobbles, a desolate hunch about his shoulders.

At the sight of this figure, the man outside the Three Cripples sprang into action. He crossed the street with just a stride of his bulky legs, seized the other man's arm, and dragged him into a covered way between two houses. "I hope you're coming to settle your debt, Mr. Havisham," the stout man said.

"Sikes!" the victim yelped. "You frightened me."

The stout man, Sikes, held his hand out, palm up. "Your debt. Sir." This last word was uttered almost as an afterthought.

The other man reluctantly drew a pouch out of his coat and dropped some meager coins in it. Sikes narrowed his eyes. "Is that it?"

"That's... that's all I have."

"Mr. Fagin would not be pleased."

"I will have the rest soon, but..."

"Soon's not good enough. Perhaps I should give you a bit of shaking, just to be sure you're not hiding anything in that fancy coat, eh?" Sikes said, pulling a cudgel out of his velveteen jacket. Havisham cowered on the ground. He could have run, but he seemed frozen in fear. Before Sikes could bring the cudgel down, however, his eyes suddenly went wide, and the hand holding the cudgel was frozen in place.

"Let him go," a quiet voice said out of the darkness.

Havisham blinked up in surprise. Sikes moved stiffly forward, just enough for the flickering light of the lamps to flash on a blade, held in a leather-gloved hand, pressed to his throat. "Who're ye?" he asked.

"Someone that can move faster than you," the voice answered.

"You're bluffing," Sikes said, but he sounded uncertain.

"Try it, and you'll bleed out before you can catch me."

Sikes' lips curled in anger. His small eyes scowled at the victim on the ground. The blade pressed down a little harder, and a drop of blood squeezed out. Sikes spat and dropped the cudgel. At that moment, the blade also left his throat.

"You'll see me again," Sikes growled to both of them, then picked up the cudgel and vanished into the night, the dog following closely on his heels.

Havisham sat still in the puddle of black slush he had collapsed into, seemingly too stunned to move. His savior bent down and extended a hand. "Arthur Havisham?"

Havisham could only nod.

"You're a hard man to find, Mr. Havisham," the other person said. The melodious voice seemed to lift Havisham out of his daze.

"Who are you?" he asked, taking the helping hand and struggling to his feet.

The other person stepped forward and took off the hat, revealing two wings of black hair framing a face that even the uncertain light of the streetlamps showed to be striking, and definitely female. "Elsie Bradford," the young woman said. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."

Chapter 1

Elsie led Havisham into the Three Cripples, though he kept looking behind his back as if afraid that Sikes would return. She picked a table in a corner, away from the fire and the piano, where most of the patrons converged. None of them gave the pair a glance, even though one of them was a woman dressed in man's clothing. The Three Cripples had seen odder characters than that. Only a furtive-looking man, sitting by the window, turned to stare at them briefly, before burying his head in his pint again.

Elsie called for the barmaid and ordered two ales. "Or do you prefer brandy?" she asked Havisham. "I'm buying."

"Brandy, please," he said in a small voice, and Elsie nodded to the barmaid.

While waiting for their drinks, she took a closer look at the man she'd just rescued, the man she'd watched the Three Cripples for a whole week to meet. He was younger than she thought, probably just a little more than five-and-twenty, around her own age, though his face was sadly ravaged, whether by excessive vices or personal misery or both, she did not know. He must have been handsome once, and there were still traces of his former good looks in his high, white forehead, his finely shaped nose, full lips, and long lashes that veiled over his large brown eyes. But the forehead was now plastered with limp, sweaty dark blond curls, the nose was red from cold or drinks, the lips were slack and surrounded by stubble, and the eyes were puffy, red-rimmed, and kept darting around the room like those of a cornered animal. She also took in his frayed velvet coat, splattered with dirty water from his fall, and faded silk hat. All spoke of a man not so much down on his luck as scraping the bottom of the barrel of his luck and still coming up empty.

The drinks arrived. Havisham gulped his down like a man dying of thirst. Elsie indicated for the barmaid to leave the bottle and took a sip of her ale. The brandy seemed to revive Havisham a little. He sat up straighter and eyed Elsie curiously.

"You said I was a hard man to find," he began. "May I ask why you were trying to find me?"

"I need your help," Elsie said.

Havisham slumped down again. "I'm of help to no one," he said. "Not even myself."

Elsie raised an eyebrow at that. "Most people would ask 'help with what' first."

"I know my limits," Havisham muttered into his drink.

"How much do you owe Fagin?" Elsie asked, changing tactics.

"What business is it of yours?"

"Perhaps we could help each other."

"I doubt that," Havisham said bleakly.

Elsie sighed, frustrated. They were going to be here all night at this rate.

"All right, Mr. Havisham," she said, putting her pint down. "I'm here because I know you used to be friends with a man called Meriwether Compeyson. And I need your help to find him."

The changes that came over Havisham were shocking. If he had looked like a cornered animal before, now he was like an animal looking down the barrel of the hunter's gun. His face was deathly white, his hand around the glass of brandy trembled so much that Elsie was afraid he would drop it, and he wasn't looking at her, but at a spot over her shoulder, at something that wasn't there. She waited. The piano jingled a tune, and some woman led the whole room in song. With a herculean effort, Havisham took another drink and pulled himself together.

"He's no friend of mine," he said, his voice shaking. "I haven't seen him in five years, and I do not wish to ever see him again."

"I know that," Elsie said. "But you must know something about where he can be found, where he used to frequent."

"Why do you want to find him?"

"To kill him."

Havisham stared at her. She returned his look evenly. Then he started laughing, a horrible, mirthless laugh that sent chills up her spine. "Oh, Miss Bradford, you are quite the comedienne," finally he said.

"He took something from me," Elsie said, stone-faced. "I consider it a fair compensation."

Havisham shook his head. "Nobody gets anything back once Compeyson decides to take it."

Elsie studied him. She had only heard that Compeyson had swindled Havisham out of his inheritance, but what had the villain done that rendered this young man a shadow like this? But look at yourself, she thought bitterly. You may not be a drunken mess like this poor sod, but who from your old life would've recognized you now? And poor Marianne... Compeyson had a talent for damaging people even without touching them.

"I don't intend to take it back," she said. "It cannot be. But perhaps I could stop him from claiming more victims."

"It's a noble pursuit, I'm sure," Havisham said. "But for your own well-being, Miss Bradford, I suggest you forget the whole thing. Compeyson is not a man to be reckoned with. I am living proof of that." A bitter smile, filled with self-hatred, briefly crossed his face. He downed the rest of his drink, stood up, and put on his hat. "Thank you for your hospitality," he said and walked away. At the door, however, he seemed to have second thoughts, turned back, and pocketed the bottle of brandy. "And thank you for saving me from Sikes," he added and left, for good this time.

Elsie bit back a curse. Money wasted, and she was no closer to her mark. Then his parting words struck her, and an idea formed. If Havisham couldn't be bought by brandy, she would have another way to ensure he was in her debt.

***

It wasn't difficult to send a message to Havisham's creditor - every child in Saffron Hill seemed to be in his employment. The old Jew showed up at the Three Cripples promptly enough, though with understandable skepticism. It was only when Elsie pushed the money across the table that his shriveled face relaxed, like a crumpled handkerchief being smoothed out. "Well, my dear, far be it from me to tell a young lady what to do with her own money," he said in his oily voice, as the bills disappeared into the depths of his overcoat. "It appears young Havisham was fortunate in his acquaintances." Elsie asked if Fagin himself had had any dealings with Compeyson at all, but in this he had nothing for her - he, like most people, only knew of Compeyson's general involvement with Havisham. Of course. Compeyson was a gentleman. He wouldn't deal with common criminals like Fagin.

Fagin did give Elsie the address of Havisham's lodgings in St. Giles. Early the next morning, wearing her plainest, most practical wool dress and with her face hidden behind a poke bonnet, she set out for it, the promissory note in her reticule and the blade concealed in her sleeve as usual. She took the long way, avoiding the familiar streets of Covent Garden, though at this time of the day, her old friends were most likely still abed and there would be none to recognize her. Still, she tightened her hand around the blade as she neared the Rookery. Its sharpness felt reassuring in her palm.

Havisham's lodgings were on the second storey of one of the many tall, narrow houses that crowded a side street. This wasn't the heart of the Rookery, so it was slightly quieter, but the level of squalor was no less appalling. Silent, ill-humored men slumped in doorways, filthy children sat amongst the rubbish and mangy dogs, too listless to even play. A woman with a swollen, stony face emptied a chamber pot out of a window, and it was by pure luck that Elsie didn't get splashed by it. She thought of the faded finery of Havisham's clothes and wondered how far down the social ladder he had fallen. Reaching the house, she climbed the slimy staircase and knocked on the door. There was some muttering from inside, but nobody came. She knocked again. "Mr. Havisham?" she called. "It's Elsie Bradford." More mutterings, louder now, but the door remained closed. Impatient, Elsie tried the knob. It turned in her hand. She pushed the door open and walked in.

Havisham was sprawled on a chair in the corner of the sparsely furnished room, but he wasn't alone. Another man was kneeling on the floor in front of him, his head buried in Havisham's lap. At her entrance, both men looked up, and Havisham's face went purple with shock. "Get out!" he screamed, grabbing a glass by his side and throwing it at her. Elsie withdrew just as the glass shattered on the wall next to her head.

She waited on the landing while the voices inside rose in contention. Then the door burst open and the other man ran out, fixing his clothes as he went. She never got a good look at his face, only a glimpse of a rich velvet coat and a silk cravat flapping around his neck. Just another young scion of some rich family who fancied himself a libertine, searching for debauchery amongst the great unwashed before slinking home to his doting parents and fawning servants. She had seen too many of them.

Havisham stumbled out the door but appeared to have no intention of following the other man—he was still in his shirtsleeves and barefoot. He stopped upon seeing Elsie. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he hissed, his face twisted in anger.

"I came here to tell you that I've settled your debt with Mr. Fagin," Elsie said.

Havisham seemed to have trouble understanding her.

"I paid it off," Elsie repeated. "But that means you owe me twenty pounds now. So perhaps you should be nicer to me, starting by inviting me into your room."

Havisham, still looking nonplussed, stepped inside, and Elsie followed him.

The room was as miserable a place as she'd ever seen. It was steeped in a gray murkiness. Situated at the back of the house, the only light it received came through a window overlooking a courtyard surrounded by yet more houses, which did very little in ways of illumination. That might be a blessing, though, for more light would only accentuate the dreariness of the room. Other than a chair, a table, a bed, and a cupboard, there was no other furniture in the room, no rug to cover the scratched wooden floor, no picture to liven up the peeling plastered walls, no curtain to brighten up the grimy windowpanes. Elsie suddenly felt quite sorry for Havisham.

"Mr. Havisham," she said, her voice softening. "My apologies for barging in like that."

"I suppose you have another debt to hold over my head now, even more valuable than the twenty pounds," he said sullenly.

It took a moment for her to catch his meaning. "No!" she said. "I would never—please, Mr. Havisham. You and your friend can rest assured. Your secret is quite safe."

"He's not my friend," Havisham replied, looking pained. The look lasted only for a few seconds, but Elsie saw it, and somehow it went straight to her heart.

"I—I'm not... It doesn't matter to me," she said, trying to explain. She hadn't been flustered before when she walked in on them, but she found it offensive that Havisham thought she would use this to blackmail him. It was something the likes of Compeyson would do. "I used to... I used to work at a bawdyhouse. There is very little that I haven't seen."

Slowly, Havisham's scowl disappeared, to be replaced by his usual default expression of despondency. "My debt?" he prompted her.

Remembering her business, Elsie showed him the promissory note. "I shall cancel it if you help me find Compeyson."

Havisham glanced at the note. "If you could pay off my debt that easily, you can't be wanting for money," he said. "Why do you want to kill Compeyson?"

"I told you, I'm not looking to get my money back. I just want him to pay for his crimes."

"But he didn't hurt you that badly, by the look of it."

"You have no idea how he's hurt me, Mr. Havisham."

Havisham looked at her more closely. "Did he... jilt you? Break your heart?"

Elsie smiled grimly. "Ha! He never had the chance."

"Then what?" he insisted. "Look around you. Did you want to end up like this, like me? Because that is what would happen if you chose to go against Compeyson. I'm trying to warn you here, Miss Bradford. You were lucky. Forget him and live your life."

Lucky? If he'd only known... Elsie looked down at her gloves, feeling the blade hidden there. To Hell with it, she thought. She had gone this far; she might as well tell him the truth.

"Yes, I suppose I was lucky," she said, still fingering the shape of the blade under her glove. "Do you want to meet someone who wasn't so lucky?"

Havisham frowned, not understanding.

"Get dressed, and I'll take you to her."

"Do not order me about," Havisham snapped at her with a trace of haughtiness that must have been insufferable when he was in his prime.

"I'm sorry," Elsie said, unable to suppress the mocking in her voice. "Get dressed, please."

Chapter 2

#arthur havisham #dickensian #arthur havisham fic #arthur havisham x ofc #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fic

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