#saezuru tori wa habatakanai manga | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

the-bloody-sadist · 6 months

Note

in case no one else has asked, please list your top 10 BL manga/manwha? 👀

i am. very interested in what other media you enjoy, especially BL

Combining these two bc I didn't wanna leave the second out!

(I wasn't a big fan of Blood Bank personally but I'm so glad it helped you with your world building Lil Whale!!)

I'm hoping some of these are unheard of for you guys because THERE ARE SO MANY BL/YAOI AND I READ THEM CONSTANTLY BUT NOT SO MANY ARE FANTASTIC AND MIND-BLOWING AND SPECTACULAR AND DEEPLY PSYCHOLOGICAL! I'm pretty sure I'll end up listing WAY more than 10, mainly because I want to highlight ones I feel like a lot of people haven't read. ALSO because I read so fucking many of them that I've collected a stash and NOW IS MY CHANCE TO YELL ABOUT THEM.

Just a disclaimer, these are not in any sort of order, as they're all about the same level in my head, just grouped. I'll list the "big name" BLs that I adore after these! First up are the ones that either have a quiet fandom or aren't well known! Since there'll be so many, I'm not going to say much about them, just know that usually no BL/Yaoi is perfect to me, since there are many bad psychology tropes here and there or unnecessary cruelties that aren't exactly realistic etc., but overall, I like the way that the story and characters are handled and/or love the art.

Here's the top five of my top ten that's not a top ten bc there are so many (I just said I wouldn't group them but I lied my ass off apparently):

Jealousy [Scarlet Beriko]: This is one of those that emotionally hits so hard that it will stick with me forever and I will usually tear up just a tiny bit when I think back to the moments that made this one so beautiful. A lot of times a story with major hurt, angst, and tragedy won't wrap up with enough to make me scream and cheer at the end. But THIS ONE DID. And I stopped reading for a while when a big event happened because I thought it would end horribly and I'd have to suffer three weeks of fiction-induced depression for a man who wasn't even real. BUT NAY. The themes you get in this one revolve around loneliness (huge draw for me, it always hits), mafia-connected characters and the rivalries from that, self-destructive prostitution, and characters who have difficulty receiving love without freaking out. Are those even themes idk. OH WELL. YOU GET THE POINT. I want this one on my shelf. You might've heard of it, but the fandom is silent so I never did. T_T OH ALSO THE ART ON THIS ONE IS GORGEOUS I FUCKING LOVE IT.

Hitori to Hitori no 3650nichi [Hitomi]: First of all, favorite manga artist. FAVORITE MANGA ARTIST. I'm never exactly sure if the artist is also the writer or if the writer is never the artist or...BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. Anyway! I listed this particular title because it was the first that I found by this person - but then I discovered it was a part of a bigger series, and there are like I DON'T KNOW FIVE DIFFERENT MANGA?? OR SOMETHING??? Related to this one. I don't know which order, I just know that I read them all in a frenzy. THE CHARACTERS. OH! OH THE CHARACTERS! Oh my gods, it's so good. LMFAO. The arcs these characters have are fantastic, and I loved the fact that the abuser in one is shown to be the victim of abuse in a prequel story, and that his anger issues and other elements of his personality came about to affect him and destroy him. Just...I don't recall the details, READ IT. That's all. Spectacular depictions of nuanced trauma within abusive relationships.

The Beast Must Die [Lee Hyeon Sook]: This remains one of my favorite depictions IN ANY MEDIA of a psychopath, because it's SO accurate and I'm SO fucking proud of the author for doing their research and OH MY GODS YOU GUYS IT'S ABOUT TO GET A DRAMA CD LET'S FUCKING GO! This story is so good. It's so evil. It's so psycho-thriller. It's so WELL DONE. It features a dark academia-ish secret society within a college setting who hunt people for sport, sometimes. LIKE. Come on. And the psychopath (dark hair) IS THE MAIN LOVE INTEREST! You could literally hear the summary and go "oh this is for Sadist". And I don't get a lot of those that deliver this well. SOMETIMES the art makes me twist my head a little but YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOT CARE OKAY? It's just SO good. There's murder, there's kidnapping, and - most importantly - a main character who doesn't just DEAL with whatever the psychopath does. He's smart, he fights back, he learns to understand psychopathy to determine if he should remain with the love interest...it's fantastic. That's all. I will stop. *BANGS THE WALL*

Aporia [Seontae]: ALL HAIL THE HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIPS THAT STILL HOLD TENSION AND EMOTIONAL WEIGHT AND SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!! This is my favorite BDSM-themed story. Everything is consensual, but is everything safe??? Not when it comes to the main character's emotions and tendency to sacrifice his wellbeing for a partner. BUT NOT TO WORRY, HIS SADISTIC LOVE INTEREST IS CONSIDERATE AND ATTENTIVE AND CARES ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!! This is, perhaps, one of my favorite depictions of a REAL sadist. A real one as in a realistic, irl BDSM-relationship sadist. Someone who is just as worried about taking care of his partner as he is about hurting him JUUUUST right. ANYWAY! THAT'S ALL! READ IT! HE'S LITERALLY ME!

Royal Servant [MasterGin, Chungnyun]: Okay, we were talking about healthy BDSM in the previous one, now let's talk about TOXIC BDSM-THEMES THAT I LOVE. Lmao. DO YOU LIKE MASTER/SLAVE DYNAMICS? DO YOU LIKE STORIES WHERE THE ARC LEADS TO THE ABUSIVE MASTER EVENTUALLY LEARNING TO NOT BE ABUSIVE AND LOVE THE SLAVE? YEAH ME TOO. I DON'T NEED TO DESCRIBE THIS ANY FURTHER. AUTHOR OF ANGEL BUDDY, THIS IS THE ONE THAT I KNEW HER FOR FIRST.

A bunch of other good ones you may or may not have heard of (I won't describe every one of these unless I have something particular to say, so enjoy the pictures from them that I snatched):

Love me in the Wilderness [Wang Tao]

Neon Sign Amber [Ogeretsu Tanaka]

Zetsubou ni Nake [Shinou Ryo]: Guys. This story is UNIQUE AS HELL. I had to say something about it. The premise is that a man who was raped turns around and goes back after his rapist and rapes him back, and then they fall in love. IT'S....the amount of times my jaw dropped was insane on this one. SOMEHOW IT'S WRITTEN SO WELL. SOMEHOW THEY NAILED THE STRANGE REALISM OF IT AND HAD ME TEARING UP OVER THE INTENSITY OF THE RAPE SCENES. VERY WELL-PACED, VERY TRAUMATIC IN A GOOD WAY. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. The way they come to love each other after this crazy foundation of mutual rape is IMPRESSIVE. Kudos to the writer.

Love or Hate [Yeongha]: This is a very well-known one but there's like zero fandom so I think it fits here. Also a lot of hate going around for it? Which I never understood, fuck those guys. This remains one of the most beautifully-written that I've ever read, and I mean that purely in like...the ACTUAL writing on the page. I'm talking poetry, purple prose. I just recall being blown away by that, and no manga before or since has ever reached its level. For once I felt like the writer was also a novelist because of the way that they put things, and had a clear voice in the style. Did the main boy end up with someone I didn't want him to end up with at the end? Yes. But I felt like it fit pretty well, and it was sort of a tragedy, and it was supposed to hit you painfully in the gut. A lot of people were mad at the main character for that and I don't really think it's fair. In any case! A beautiful story with complex characters and intriguing dilemmas. Highly recommend it.

Shangri La no Tori (Birds of Shangri La) [Ranmaru Zariya]

Two in Six Billion [Denzou]

The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace [Upi]: Great story and character-building so far! I will say that once it became porn, it dove a little too heavily into it for me. Like I only needed one scene of the porn, I was enjoying the panic attack scenes much more. BUT YEAH, IT'S ONGOING, SO WE'LL SEE WHERE IT GOES! But the panic attack scenes were the reason I read it and yes, I did tear up.

Sleeping Dead and Living Dead [Asada Nemui]: I RECENTLY FOUND THIS ONE AND ADOOOOOOREEE IT SO MUCH. I DO NOT CARE THAT IT'S AN OLD SCIENTIST AND HIS ZOMBIE PATIENT. NORMALLY THAT WOULD HOLD NO SWAY OVER ME, BUT OH GODS, THE ART IS SO PRETTY AND THE STORY IS SO GOOD. I LOVE THE LITTLE ZOMBIE MAN! I LOVE THE LITTLE ROMANCE THEY'VE GOT!

Private Lessons [ANCO, Mongya]: It's cuuuuute what can I saayyyyy it has BDSM and threesomes and I liked it. Very entertaining. Scratches the BDSM itch and the little SUB WAS SO CUTE. Anyway.

Kingyo no Ubugoe [Gontaku Nido]

From Points of Three [White Eared]: Threesome dynamics!!

Silent Lover [Qiang Tang, Bai Li Jun Xi]: I STOPPED THIS ONE AT A CERTAIN POINT BECAUSE IT DIPPED INTO WEIRD M-PREG AND STUFF I CANNOT READ. But BEFORE all that, I was deeply ingrained in this one. It has a main character who can't speak (a particular weakness of mine) and he's OH SO CUTE and he's given as a sex slave basically to the emperor (emperor? idk he's a kingly man, something like that), and the emperor is evil but learns to be soft and yet it takes a LONG TIME SO I WAS BAWLING HYSTERICALLY OVER SOME OF THE HEARTWRENCHINGLY PAINFUL SCENES IN THIS FOR THE POOR YUU-ER. A good read until it decided to go the omegaverse-by-magic-potions route. I didn't stay to figure out where it actually ended up.

Yoru wa Tomodachi [Ido Gihou]

Toumei na Ai no Utsuwa [Hitomi]

Re:Birth [Misuaki Asou]: The singular omegaverse story in existence that I actually liked. Hopefully that says a lot. Mostly because it's about the omegaverse elements NOT being present for the main character and him trying to fake it because he's lonely and afraid that his partner (an alpha *shakes off the disgusting label because who the fuck thought alpha was a cool word*) will leave him if he finds out he's just a regular guy (aka beta I guess? ABO is weird idc).

Sahara no Kuro Washi [Soutome Emu]: MASTER SLAVE MASTER SLAVE---

Haru ni Kaeru [Kunieda Saika]

Incorrigible [Bbong]

Well Done! [ANCO, Mongya]

Nemuri Otoko to Koi Otoko [Zariya Ranmaru]

Even If You Don't Love Me [Pando]: It dropped off SUPER hard (it's ongoing still) but damn was it good in the beginning. I am sick and tired of where it's at currently but the psychological manipulation and the horror of a certain twist in the storyline was CRUSHING to me. I only wish that it would have gone a better way after it happened, because it slowly destroyed itself and became like a lot of tropey rape stories. The asshole just keeps being an asshole and it's not really where the story seemed to want to go with that. But otherwise, it started off strong and I'll give it kudos for that.

Bigger titles I'm pretty sure everyone has heard of that I enjoy:

Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai [Yoneda Kou]: Is it a little unrealistic that literally everyone in this story is gay apparently and wants to fuck one man apparently and/or rape him? Yes, absolutely. Does that matter once you're in the story and it's so good and all these unrealistic cruelties make a really strong bond between the main love interest and this self-destructive masochist who's probably not really a masochist but only interested in hurting himself because he doesn't know how else to handle his trauma from childhood? Ummmm yeah. Anyway! This one had a lot of inspiration and a lot of tears and a lot of obsession from me. I re-read it all the time, I watch the movie over and over, I listen to the audio drama and cry at my favorite scenes. Do I care in the end that it's a little unrealistic at times? No but I do laugh sometimes when I'm about to share it with a new person. Because BL is just like that generally and you've got to put up with a little of those tropes to find your favorite stories. THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP FAVORITES OF ALL TIME FOR ME BTW, IT'S ONLY SO LOW DOWN HERE BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IN YAOI KNOWS ABOUT THIS ONE ALREADY, AND WE'RE ALL AWARE OF HOW GOOD IT IS.

ENNEAD [Mojito]: I will say that this is basically the best manga/comic/manhua...what's the Chinese word idk ANYTHING OF THIS MEDIA TYPE that I have ever read. It's not done, and people have been complaining that it's starting to fall into the common BL tropes but you know what I do NOT care. Mojito is a genius, Mojito is a master storyteller, Mojito is beautiful, Mojito is strong - I just love Mojito and this work. So much. The action, the horror of rape, the deep-set character conflicts and dilemmas and internal turmoils. Everything, nailed it. Nailed it. And not to mention it's set in FUCKING EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY AND THEY'RE ALL GODS AND THEY HAVE SUCH COOL BATTLES AND COSTUMES AND DUDE???? I'm so hooked. That's all.

Killing Stalking [Koogi]: OBVIOUSLY. I don't really need to say anything about this one except that yeah, some of the psychology is a little off and some of it is just super shallow. But I loved the characters and that's what mattered in the end. I fell in love with Sangwoo too and it ripped my heart out when I read the ending. I was depressed for like two weeks and it was the first story that had ever affected me that way, but I was also younger and this was one of my first yaoi/BLs and yeah. GREAT story though, fantastic storytelling, very lovable characters. Sangwoo was handled so much better than most "asshole/kidnapper/rapist" characters and I will never stop appreciating that, because a lot of writers tend to forget that your villains have to have redeeming qualities if you want us to like them (????). Jinx, I'm fucking coming for you. Suck my dick. KOOGI FTW.

Missing Love/A Married Man [In Hyerin]: Some of the DESCRIPTIONS of how trauma works especially of the sexual nature in this story are SO. SO. GOOD. However, I am beginning to grow VERY ANNOYED at where it decided to go with the most current updates of the story. The author did enough trauma to the main boy, now it's getting so incredibly excessive that it's overdoing it and the author's kinks are showing through. LIKE I GET IT. Okay? I do. But this one became too much and I need him to return to the actual story arc of going through that trauma so he can HEAL with the right person taking care of him.

MadK [Ryo Sumiyoshi]: I am into NONE of the kinks that would lead to me picking up this manga. I hate demons, I'm not a monsterfucker, I can't do extreme guro, and yet I SAW CANNIBALISM. THAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT I THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A TRY FOR. And then accidentally I got obsessed because the plot is AMAZING and the writing is SO GOOD and who cares if I hate demons and monsters ALL OF THEM ARE BADASS AND HOT (??) AND IT CEASES TO MATTER. Good on the writer for making them appeal by personality alone and expressions and whatever else you signed a deal with the devil to make me like because it worked. Also the guro is beautiful, so it doesn't even matter. Hannibal levels.

Warehouse [Killerwhale]

Painter of the Night [Byeonduck]

Viewfinder/Finder [Yamane Ayano]

Given [Kizu Natsuki, Gusari]

Nii-Chan [Harada] (and basically every other work by Harada)

Sadistic Beauty Side Story [Geumsan Lee, Woo Yeonhui]

Dine With a Vampire [Pangin, Pinko]

Angel Buddy [Mastergin, Chungnyun]

My Partner's Tastes and Fetishes [Deok Hwa]

Interview with a Murderer [KJK]

On or Off [A1]

Steel Under Silk [Snob]

The Pawn's Revenge [Evy]: It was going to be SO GOOD! And then it dropped off harder than a boulder from a balcony and I have absolutely no idea why the author took it the way that they took it, but go off I guess. It's boring as hell now but it started off with promise and I enjoyed the art and character designs. Too bad, I suppose.

Caste Heaven [Ogawa Chise]: An old classic with all the sticky sometimes icky mostly ridiculous BL tropes but hey, it's cute. It's sexy. It's fun. I don't care.

Wet Sand [Doyak]: We're still in the beginning stage of this one but I'm excited to see where it goes! Plus the art SLAPS ASS like nobody's business.

19 Days [Old Xian]: I hate comedy, I hate fluff, I hate buddies that never become lovers, but none of that mattered when I picked this one up. The duality of man. Bite-sized chapters and ACTUALLY AN EVENTUAL ROMANCE that none of us thought we'd ever get.

Legs That Won't Walk [Black Apricot]: Although this one dropped off hard for me and I'm really just following it to see if it picks up again and does something interesting (it probably won't) I did enjoy it in the beginning. I just get tired of the "asshole just keeps being an asshole and nothing else but woobified slut keeps coming back to him??" without the strong and realistic undercurrent of Reasons Why Someone Would Come Back such as manipulation or threats or unhealthy attachment. Perhaps it was sorta there in the beginning with them but now I'm just like why are we still continuing this story.

Pearl Boy [Inking, Zoy]: *Awkwardly scratches neck* It's not the best okay? It's not. It's really not. I don't like half of the things that occur in this one, but the ART, bro. THE ART, BRO? That's what got me into it and what kept me into it, PLUS I do like little Jooha. I stayed for Jooha, too. Dooshik drives me a little batty most of the time and looks ugly for half the story to me, but when he's badass, he's pretty badass, so I can forgive him. I really don't know why he has such drastically changing appearances because I thought he was someone completely different for a bit LMAO. In any case, I have to admit I like the uhhhhh danger that Jooha gets himself into and the crazy things that make no sense but you know what he gets hurt and then there's comfort and rescue and they cry and I cease to care that it makes no sense. (Sorta, I don't actually cease to care I just laugh awkwardly and go okay sure that's how it works because it's so hard to find stories that don't do this LOL I'm beating a dead horse) BUT WHY DOES HE CUM PEARLS? WILL WE EVER KNOW? WHO THE HELL THOUGHT OF THAT AND WITHOUT A SUPPORTING MAGIC SYSTEM IN THE WORLD TO MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE? IT WENT DOWNHILL SO FAST AND THE ENDING IS TERRIBLE BTW. THE VILLAIN SUCKS.

That's it. I can't talk to much or I'll run out of words but HOPE YOU GUYS FIND SOME NEW READS!!

#why does Tumblr only allow a certain amount of images #what a crime #bl recommendation #yaoi manga #yaoi recommendation #bl manga #top ten #my favorites #my recs #yaoi #sadist’s answered asks #whump #fujoshi #yaoi bl #saezuru tori wa habatakanai #scarlet beriko #harada #killing stalking

360 notes · View notes

everything-poetic · 1 month

Text

Yashiro being bitter

Then a few minutes later he's sweet again

And..

Sweet and bitter is the perfect description for yashiro😭

#saezuru #saezuru tori wa habatakanai #yashiro x doumeki #domeyashiro #lustfulcat #yaoi manga #yaoi

90 notes · View notes

cielelyse · 3 months

Text

"He's like a baby bird. They always follow the first thing they see. That's all there is to it."

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #yashiro #i love this manga and him a normal amount #been following saezuru for 10 years now I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

120 notes · View notes

twitteringnerdsneverfly · 3 months

Text

I'm currently in Japan until the end of the month and lookie lookie what I found today while going round an anime shop in the BL section... 😍

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #yaoi #yashiro x doumeki #yaoi smut #yaoi manga #volume 8 #video #saezuru video

59 notes · View notes

polishchuk · 5 months

Text

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru fandom #twittering birds never fly #囀る鳥は羽ばたかない #saezuru feels #yashiro #doumeki chikara #yoneda kou #ニトロ攻鉄 #aesthetic #japan mafia #yaoi bl #manga yaoi #manhwa bl #art #manga aesthetic #dark moodboard #moodboard #love crime

112 notes · View notes

kyrieren · 10 days

Text

Umbrella vs. Rain: The Driving Forces of Saezuru (3)

Note: my analysis relies heavily on visual elements

III. Aiai gasa (相合傘) - Under the shield of love

"相合傘 - Aiai-gasa" is a combination of the word "相合 - Aiai" - doing something together, and the word "傘 - gasa" - umbrella. Literally, it refers to the act of two people sharing an umbrella. However, as the word "Ai" is homophonic with "愛 - Ai" - love, "Aiai-gasa" connotes a derivative meaning: Love Umbrella. In "Saezuru", empathy and love are the umbrella that shields characters from the rain (or I believe so).

Yashiro vs. Mother & Child

The five panels on this page vividly embody the adage "A picture is worth a thousand words." Following Yashiro's forceful removal of Doumeki from the car, a profoundly expressive and iconic scene unfolds. The stark contrast presented is striking: Yashiro isolated in the car versus the Mother & Child duo outside, together under the rain. While Yashiro remains sheltered within the car, impervious from the rain, Mother & Child rely solely on an umbrella for protection. Yet side by side, the prowess of their bond shines through against the glooming backdrop. Their love acts as an impenetrable shield, leaving them unscathed. In stark contrast, Yashiro, who has just pushed away the person he loves and loves him back for mutual protection, finds himself alone. Despite the physical safety of the car, the rain metaphorically pierces through him in the darkness. It’s not the umbrella itself, it’s love that defends people against the rain. Yashiro has never had love before, but as soon as he has, he’s got no other choice than to let it go. That look in his eyes gives a mix of tragic resignation to his fate, the paradoxical coexistence of envy over and disdain for love, and the determination to give up love.

Fortunately, Doumeki refuses to give up on Yashiro, despite his cruel words. He quickly returns, bringing along an umbrella and water for medicine. His determination to stand by Yashiro's side and shield him is palpable. As soon as he enters, the car is brightened up and the rain retreats back to be outside of the car.

In this scene, Doumeki's arrival with the umbrella not only shields Yashiro from the rain's darkness but also symbolizes his loving presence guarding Yashiro off from his turmoil.

Although Yashiro may not yet be brave enough to acknowledge or confront his feelings, his expression subtly transforms from a frown in the first panel to something softer in the last. This instant change reveals the other side of Yashiro genuinely doesn't protest Doumeki's return, hinting at a hidden vulnerability beneath his tough exterior."

2. Moratorium

This cover is the scenery illustration of an extra where Yashiro has Doumeki run an errand to buy him an umbrella. For Yoneda sensei never half-asses anything, I'd like to take an approach regarding the characters' setting and the story's developments on this painting.

This marks the beginning of Yashiro and Doumeki's journey towards each other, as Doumeki endeavors to stand by Yashiro's side. Amidst the pouring rain, their bare heads stand out starkly in a sea of umbrellas, emphasizing the pain they both endure. In the bustling crowd, Yashiro remains motionless, a solitary figure amidst the chaos. The red light he is leaning against represents his childhood trauma and the yakuza world. Literally and metaphorically, Yashiro can't go even if he wants to. Yashiro's relaxed posture against the crimson glow signifies his reluctant acceptance of his destiny, a tragic resignation to his circumstances.

On the other side, Doumeki opts not to shield himself with the umbrella he carries and dashes to Yashiro with big strides. This bold act underscores Doumeki's unwavering commitment to protecting Yashiro, even at the cost of his own comfort and well-being. He willingly discards himself. That's why it doesn't end well.

3. Not yet Aiai gasa (相合傘)

When Doumeki returns, Yashiro's intuition clicks when he sees only one umbrella with him, but screws the idea of Aiai gasa right away by forsaking Doumeki drenched in the rain.

The 7th and 8th panel summarizes Saezuru until the end of the Hirata's arc - Yashiro pushes him away through assault, while Doumeki endures it all to remain by Yashiro's side. Aiai saga is meant to be two people under the umbrella, not one. Ironically, despite their deep affection and fierce desire to protect each other, their relationship falters due to a lack of mutual commitment to being together. Another significant contributing factor is their profoundly low self-esteem: Yashiro, feeling undeserving, violently pushes Doumeki away to protect him, while Doumeki, undervaluing his worth, tolerates mistreatment and violence for Yashiro's sake. In this sense, they both push Doumeki away, unable to bridge their emotional barriers.

In the 9th panel, Yashiro blames Doumeki for his tardiness. While Doumeki is indeed late, it's evident that it's not his fault. His arrival into Yashiro's world comes after Yashiro has endured immense suffering alone for a long time, leading to a coping mechanism that rejects Doumeki's presence. However, Doumeki's entry into Yashiro's life marks the end of the Moratorium. Yashiro can now begin to move forward, although the process is slow and painful, signifying a gradual progression towards healing.

By all accounts, in their complicated case, love love alone is not sufficient. Acceptance, self-appreciation, and the mutual wish to be together are essential components for Aiai gasa to work for them.

4. Aiai gasa (相合傘) - Under the shield of love

I'll be positive saying that Yoneda sensei has hinted at their happy ending in this poster for the Rain event, or at the very least, a phase where they accompany each other out of love.

This is Doumeki and Yashiro post-time-skip. The image of them under the umbrella signifies a mutual desire to be together at last. Doumeki holding the umbrella for Yashiro, who is already slightly damp from rain droplets, symbolizes Doumeki's belated but meaningful presence in Yashiro's tumultuous life. This time, Yashiro allows Doumeki to take care of him, indicating a shift in their dynamic. Doumeki's actions also suggest a growth in his self-esteem, from nothing to something.

Their interaction speaks volumes. Despite Yashiro's sulky expression and bombastic side eyes, Doumeki meets his gaze directly. This subtle interaction hints at their ongoing communication and mutual efforts to understand each other better.

Under the shield of love - Aiai gasa, they are navigating their complexities. Under the shield of love, anything is possible, I believe. The mutual understanding, if they successfully arrive, would not only empower them but also serve as a shield, safeguarding and freeing them from their birdcage.

Read the previous parts here:

Part 1:

Part 2:

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru #twittering birds never fly #yashiro #doumeki chikara #doumeki x yashiro #囀る鳥は羽ばたかない #analysis #rain #umbrella #yaoi manga #yoneda kou #moratorium #モラトリアム

35 notes · View notes

saezurumurmurs · 16 days

Text

A BL Platform For Everyone

NB: Please reblog this for visibility!

A little over two years ago, me and my BL crew were in our little chat sharing recommendations.

Cat had an impressive spread sheet, Marcie and I had iCloud Notes, and it was pretty much chaos.

I looked at it and said out loud, "There has to be a better way for us to keep track of our reads and share recommendations. There has to be right?"

Cat said she wished someone would build a BL app with everything already there. Me, a developer of almost thirty years, paused while a floodlight (not a light bulb) went off in my head.

“Well I could maybe build one… cause like, I build stuff. How would that be?”

By the end of the conversation Cat had invited me to build an app for BL.

Four weeks later, in late February of 2022, digitaljuicy.com was online.

In the last couple of years, I’ve been listening to the fandom, paying attention to feedback, poured over analytics, read your responses to the Reader’s Survey and continued to craft a platform with all this in mind.

What I have been building is 100% for us... there is nothing but BL and it is an attempt to encompass ALL of BL. Not just the bits and pieces.

But for two years I've been struggling. Struggling in many ways, but specifically to get what I wanted out of the platform. I tried and failed so many times.

In September of 2022 I tried to raise venture capital to build the platform I wanted for us. I pitched it to accelerators and true blue venture capital.

Juicy is what is called 'pre-seed'. Which means were still so new and evolving, under-resourced and while there was interest, there was no joy. No funding was raised.

In December 2023, I realised it was time to rethink Juicy. i have been on the deepest dive for months rebuilding Juicy from the ground up and preparing the framework for the mobile app.

I’ve built something I want to use… and wild, I’m building it and using it as a fan at the same time. I'm at the point where it's impossible not to want to share.

And what kind of platform do I mean? At its most basic level:

You can track your reads, watches and plays

You can review and recommend the titles to the community, your friends, strangers on Twitter, your friend you're trying to corrupt outside the fandom. Your poison.

Timelines for you, for titles, for episodes, chapters… just about everything. I mean everything: The creators, the publishers, the studios, the actors... you can leave reviews and status posts on EVERYTHING. No algorithms, no force feeding... just discovery, recommendations and honest reviews by this community about our community and the industry we feed.

Collections! Lists of stuff you're reading, dropped, want to read, want to buy, love or hate, all pretty and organised and shareable..

A growing database resource of titles, tagged up to its eyeballs with a minutiae of data.. with reading an streaming links and anything else we find that we think is relevant.

But it is also a lot more than this.

I wanted it to be more than what it was. I want to turn Juicy into a mobile app, add some more functionality and more specifically, platform all of BL for its non-Asian fandom.

We get left out of so much, I feel like we need our own thing.

I don’t know about ya’ll, but I was tired of being banned on social media for sharing content. How you gonna ban me for saying a 2D fictional character needs to be shot with shite and strung with cobweb? But they did… and I know it’s not just me.

What about the creators? How do they interface with the non-Japanese or non-Korean fandoms? On which misogynistic hell site?

What about the publishers and merchandisers? What about the little Etsy sellers? Why does BL have to hidden away in the databases of mangaupdates, anisearch and anilist? Why does every single manga tracker out there seem to have pitiful listings for BL?

Is it because we’re a female or queer audience?

Look at this lil video I made:

youtube

Either way, I’ve long felt it’s time for us to do our own thing. So I’ve been building it. Pixel by pixel. Feature by feature on my own.

Juicy has been a small chat group, but I’m the only developer. We’ve always been clear about what we wanted to build: A platform for the fandom, the creators, the publishers, the merchandisers… my goal is a one-stop platform for BL and I am damn close to presenting this new iteration.

This was and remains the core of what I’m building: The largest English platform for BL on the planet. The functionality is one thing, but building a database like that is not a one-person job.

So now I need your help.

First to keep the servers online, so I can continue to build and develop and finally, finally release the mobile app. I can't tell you how much I want that.

I’m close to pushing the new Juicy 3.0 out, and I’m very in love with the work I’ve done since December. It’s a new look, and it works 1000 times better than the previous iterations of Juicy.

I just have hit a wall financially, and need your help and support to get it over the line.

Juicy's ass is fat and I been carrying her mostly alone for two solid years.

I’m going to launch a Kickstarter for this project in a bit so I can hire another developer to help with the trickier bits and fine tune the mobile app, but for now, I felt a Patreon would at least help us keep the servers up and maybe, just maybe allow us to afford a few crucial bits that will elevate your experience as a user.

And because I’m a developer, and I can do some pretty kinky shit with APIs and such, if you support this Patreon campaign, you will get some nice feature perks on the platform automagically. You won’t have to pay again to access these perks in-app later.

As many perks as I can cook up anyway, not the least of which will be access to some of the nicer functions and features I’ve already built into the platform.

When the mobile app launches, you will get it first and for free! Plus we’ve been talking about a lot of other ways we can make the platform fun beyond what I've done already.

I plan to monetise the platform in various ways, but in a profit sharing model. You contribute to the database, you contribute content, you get a share of whatever the platform makes. This is already built into the system. This will be open to anyone willing, but to Patrons first.

Finally, I'm limiting the number of people who can subscribe via Patreon to 1000 people. Once we hit that number, the rolls will be closed to new membership, and everyone directed to the platform to pay for any services or merchandise.

My goal for this group of Patrons is that you become an exclusive and tightly knit inner circle.

My hope is that you will help me actively shape what Juicy will become. Your votes and say will carry weight. Your feature requests considered and if possible implemented first.

You will get access to exclusive merchandise, exclusive giveaways and promos (like free stuff), and exclusive programming from the team.

With your help we will produce an exclusive podcast for Patrons only discussing all things BL and Juicy (honestly our conversations are generally wild and hilarious... it will be a rollick for sure), along with other content for Patrons only. We've even planned watch parties and other fun shit... I swear, we want you all to be our greatest ambassadors so we are planning as many treats as we can.

Your access on the platform will be specific to your Patreon subscription and your treatment will be VIP for the life of your subscription.

Finally, the way my auADHD are set up, I have no interest in the dramas of the BL fandom, so this is never going to be about gatekeeping access to anything. It’s about making more access possible. You can help bring us all together and make us stronger as a group.

So do you think Digital Juicy sounds like something you’d like in on?

Okute Sea

Saezuru Murmurs

30 notes · View notes

doumeki-kun · 10 months

Text

zZzZZzZzZzz

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #yashiro x doumeki #doumeki chikara #saezuru #saezuru fandom #doumeki #yaoi manga

123 notes · View notes

swallowerofdharma · 25 days

Text

Yashiro’s Cruel God part two

Intermission: romanticizing trauma or Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate.

Most people looking at someone like Yashiro would feel deeply sorry and they would make a wish for him to find something or someone good in life. But when we start talking about healing we forget or we don’t know what trauma is. Manga can actually help us understand much better in what terms trauma really works: the word we use in several european languages comes from the Greek word for wound τραῦμα. I don’t have the same linguistics insights for the Japanese words - it would be great to have that insight if someone can provide it - but I have access to visual representations, because a number of mangaka associated traumatic events/memories with physical injuries, and the very severe ones with a lost limb, a lost eye. I have talked about this briefly here. The earliest in life or the most severe or prolonged or repeated traumatic events or experiences - the deeper the injury is registered, written in the brain. In the case of a lost limb, there isn’t much healing to do, that part of the body is forever changed, but there are other things to do: relearning how to do things in different ways according to the changes and forgetting about what you could do before or what other people can do with their limbs intact and fully functioning. Of course you can get a prosthetic, an aid, you work around the injured parts. But they ache, they give you phantom pain, they don’t grow back, and the healing is only possible in the parts that are left. Thinking about trauma like this is how we don’t romanticize it. I really think that Yoneda-san is intentionally making a point to show how difficult this process of adaptation is and also how common is for the people around Yashiro to not fully understand or care or know what can be done and what can’t be done. Only Yashiro knows himself that well, can properly determine his boundaries. First he went through a long phase of trial and error and he progressively learned to regulate his impulses quite successfully I must say, because we see that he was alone, lacking guidance, and he did end up naked in an alley, but at least he was sober and drug free. That is when Misumi came in and, although he had also his selfish motives and interests, he cared enough and offered Yashiro some guidance and most importantly conditions so that Yashiro needed to learn how to restrain himself and only indulge his sex drive more safely and more intentionally, setting new rules and adapting to a life full of other responsibilities and commitments. Remember that the premise here isn’t to assign blame or make moral judgments or excuses, but to understand how these characters grew, matured or changed or how they developed their expectations and interpretations of the world around them.

There were areas where Yashiro, as a full formed adult, still refused to be challenged, mostly because he had adapted and learned how to be self reliant, but unfortunately also because he interiorized an image of himself as someone unlovable, as a consequence of his parents’ behavior and later his unrequited feelings for Kageyama. Yashiro can absolutely find love. He fell in love twice, other people have fallen in love with him before, he doesn’t want to hurt others, he generally cares, he has gained much better social skills than those he had as a teenager, he is still an eccentric but not unreasonable or crazy. The problem is that he doesn’t know how to accept romantic love because he doesn’t recognize the feelings of being loved. The new experience is confusing, disorienting and scary, nauseating, because he lacks points of reference. He can’t go back to a foundation in love, an original self that is pure and secure and healthy, because his parents didn’t help him build it or deliberately destroyed and reshaped it with fear. Romanticism poses love as a good, natural, inevitable human thing, implies an ideal world where everyone has that pure healthy self and if pain and hardship are inevitable in life and each person is wounded, they must get to heal normally or simply by reaching back and restoring that pure and secure and healthy self as much as possible. If it was parental love/care and responsibility to offer the best condition for the self to be that way, then it will be the love/passion and commitment of a romantic partner to help healing the inevitability wounded self later in life.

I don’t think it was pure coincidence that in the same chapter you have these two different scenes not far from each other. Doumeki has been left behind and he is reminiscing about the events that brought him to this point. I am still focusing on Yashiro now, so that I haven’t properly talked about Doumeki, who has his own wounds within him, but as I mentioned last time, Doumeki experienced betrayal, especially regarding his father, after he already had a foundation in a family with a sufficient amount of care. Even if his parents weren’t especially doting or his experience was so much at odds with his sister’s experience inside the same family, he still developed normally, if not very reserved or able to express himself only through controlled physical aggression at kendo practice. We see in this memory another element, Doumeki playing normally with other boys and having fun. When the chapter goes on showing Yashiro in a flashback, we see him spying on Kurobane’s nephew on Misumi’s order. But we also see him as this uncomfortable nineteen years old who is an outsider and feels like one when confronted with normal children playing normal games.

I’d really like to write a proper analysis of the confrontation between Yashiro and Doumeki in the car in chapter 32, because I think that conversation is a very good example of two people coming from completely different places and confronting each other without reaching a solution that would work for both of them, because of lack of understanding and the extreme difficulty to communicate. We see very well here how the dynamics older/younger and realist/romantic play out. Scenes like these, where they talk, get to know each other, they are there and they were frequent even.

For now, I just want to underline another example of Yashiro looking at children with a foundation in love/safety from the outside and having to wrangle with that feeling of alienation. How can he take part in that same world as these people, how can he be part of the same world Doumeki lives in? Since he is going to meet Hirata and he doesn’t know what might happen there, his only choice is to leave Doumeki behind, but since he doesn’t obey anymore, Yashiro has to push him away and, if necessary, intentionally hurt him. Doumeki tries different strategies to stay, and Yashiro seems to relent on occasions, but when the time comes, he takes the gun and shoots.

Again a long post, and I don’t know how much I have accomplished with this. Between phone calls and my cat giving me the stinky eye because I am two minutes late to feed her, although I had mentally prepared to tackle the part about Doumeki, I recon I am going to leave this part as it is and continue the analysis later. Hope you don’t mind, I am not great at planning things out. So this is again to be continued…

#saezuru tori wa habatakanai #saezuru analysis #yashiro #doumeki chikara #manga analysis #yoneda kou #eri reads saezuru #of course I have a cat

34 notes · View notes