☽ ⚜ ☾ ⎯⎯⎯ 𝐈𝐒 𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 ? 𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 , 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 , 𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐀𝐑 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 ? Why is everything only appreciated when you lose it , amid forgetfulness in goods , champagne ﹠﹠ endless consumption ? Scott's young mind wandered through every thought as he felt 𝐻𝑂𝑊 𝑀𝑈𝐶𝐻 𝐻𝐸 𝐻𝐴𝐷 𝐿𝑂𝑆𝑇 , how he had lost everything by enjoying a fleeting , fragile moment , by the pathetic sense of teenage immortality that , with its 𝙱𝚄𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁𝙵𝙻𝚈 𝙴𝙵𝙵𝙴𝙲𝚃 , made death grasp the neck of the one who had always loved him the one he has never seen . He didn't see anyone . No one but friends , except in the evenings with alcohol on the roofs , admiring the horizon falling asleep before his eyes ( 𝙰𝙷 , 𝚆𝙷𝚈 𝙳𝙾 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚃𝙰𝙺𝙴𝚂 𝙲𝙾𝚂𝚃 𝚂𝙾 𝙼𝚄𝙲𝙷 ? )
𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙱𝙻𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝙾𝚄𝚃𝙵𝙸𝚃𝚂 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙶𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙼𝚈 𝙳𝙰𝚈 completed the gray nature around them as everyone gathered for their last goodbye . A soft-colored pine coffin , locked forever , made Scott only imagine what his father looked like there . Apparently , 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙰𝙲𝙲𝙸𝙳𝙴𝙽𝚃 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝚃𝚁𝙰𝙶𝙸𝙲 ; yet in his eyes it will always be the same ; dark hair always well-groomed ﹠﹠ those tired blue eyes that often only glanced briefly at his son as he rushed to work in the morning . So he remembered him ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ but why had he only now begun to understand that in this look , 𝐼𝑁 𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑆 𝑆𝐴𝐷𝑁𝐸𝑆𝑆 , it was always the warmth he was looking for ? Which he always rejected ( you lived in everyone's shadow so you didn't see anything ; you went there yourself , 𝙸𝚃 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝙾𝙽𝙻𝚈 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁 𝙳𝙴𝙲𝙸𝚂𝙸𝙾𝙽 ) 𝙷𝙴 𝙳𝙸𝙳 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙷𝙰𝚅𝙴 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝚃𝚁𝙴𝙽𝙶𝚃𝙷 to look at his mother ; on nobody , on friends from his father's work , on extended family , aunts ﹠﹠ cousins ; who was he in their eyes ? Did they know what decision he made a few days ago ? 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚈 𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙱𝙰𝙱𝙻𝚈 𝙺𝙽𝙴𝚆 ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ an unpleasant shiver ran down Scott's back every time someone looked at him ( who are you to them now ? ) , He felt his lungs out of breath ﹠﹠ his eyes watering . 𝐼𝑇 𝐼𝑆 𝐻𝐼𝑆 𝐹𝐴𝑈𝐿𝑇 .
𝙱𝚄𝚃 𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙻𝙻 𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙺𝙸𝙽𝙶 . He was looking for someone in the crowd he had wanted to see for so long . Before leaving , he asked his mother if his brother would come ; however , she herself 𝙳𝙸𝙳 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆 . His eyes wandered over gray jackets , black coats , tears ﹠﹠ mourning until he noticed ; dark clothes ﹠﹠ three days stubble on his face , that hair falling over his face , 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝙰𝙼𝙴 𝙻𝙾𝙾𝙺 𝙰𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙸𝚁 𝙵𝙰𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁 . Leon . 𝙰𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙸𝚁 𝙴𝚈𝙴𝚂 𝙼𝙴𝚃 , Scott felt warm tears sting his cheeks ( don't cry , don't be weak ) . He wiped them quickly ﹠﹠ felt the disappointment in the air ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ how long did that look last ? Not even three seconds , ﹠﹠ for Scott it was forever . As if Leon had already told him 𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑅𝑌𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑁𝐺 he had to say because he was no longer looking at him for the entire ceremony .
𝚂𝙻𝙾𝚆𝙻𝚈 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚈𝙾𝙽𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝚁𝙴𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚃𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙴𝙸𝚁 𝙷𝙾𝙼𝙴𝚂 , the last flowers laid on the grave , the last prayers , tears ﹠﹠ farewells thrown to the warm summer wind . Scott was still standing in the same place , looking at everything as if disconnected from reality ; but now he was thinking of his father 𝙾𝚁 𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙱𝚁𝙾𝚃𝙷𝙴𝚁 ? Still holding that echoing gaze in my head , it brought back a cascade of memories when he was still little , when he admired him ( when did it end ? When did dreams turn to bitterness ? )
𝑊𝐻𝐴𝑇 𝑁𝑂𝑊 ?
𝙷𝙴 𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙽𝙴𝙳 𝙰𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳 . Seeing Leon walking away , his heart made him walk towards him , even though his head did not know what to say ( was this the last thread of the bond between them ? ) . Sometimes you just wanted to be next to . . . 𝙽𝙴𝚇𝚃 𝚃𝙾 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙾𝙽𝙴 . His shadow wasn't something that made him angry this time ; this time it was comfort ﹠﹠ safety , or so he thought , so 𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙳 𝚃𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙺 , despite the gaze that stuck in his mind . After all , they were brothers ; but what a pity that he only remembered it now . 𝚆𝙸𝚃𝙷 𝙴𝚅𝙴𝚁𝚈 𝚂𝚃𝙴𝙿 he got closer to him , he felt his legs buckle under him ; it's been a long time since he felt so lost . He couldn't remember the last time he saw him ; they had not lived together for a long time , it had been a long time since he tried to warm their 𝑁𝑂𝑁-𝐸𝑋𝐼𝑆𝑇𝐸𝑁𝑇 𝐵𝑂𝑁𝐷 in any way . And now he felt how he needed him ﹠﹠ how he was afraid of rejection ( how afraid to hear it was his fault ) . These mixed feelings , 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙵𝙴𝙰𝚁 , 𝙰𝙽𝙶𝙴𝚁 , 𝙸𝙽𝚂𝙴𝙲𝚄𝚁𝙸𝚃𝚈 ; One last wipe of tears ﹠﹠ grab his sleeve to get attention . But there was nothing he could get out of his mouth except venom , except a tone of resentment , which made him silent , not understanding why he had said it . Why did he say it that way ?
❝ 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎 ? 𝚂𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚕𝚢 ? ❞
☽ ⚜ ☾ ⎯⎯⎯ @unailing . plotted starter for the feels . ♥
I will join you in your loneliness,
We can be alone together,
Who says you have to be alone,
When with two it is much better.
I will share with you your sadness,
I will wipe away your tears,
I will cry some tears along with yours,
And we'll wash away our fears.
I will share in all your pain,
I will take it for my own,
And you'll see it can be easier,
When you don't have to hurt alone.
I am always here for you,
I am never far away,
Just close your eyes and I'll be with you,
Through every moment of your day.
You don't have to be alone,
When you can be alone with me,
Because being alone together;
Is not as bad you see.
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