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#s: officialunitedstates on tumblr
incorrect-untamed · 3 years
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WWX: What does the chef recommend?
Employee: Sir, this is a McDonalds
WWX: Oh I’m sorry, what does the McChef recommend?
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Officialunitedstates Wikipedia
Officialunitedstates is an American blogger, artist, advocate, and writer active on the microblogging and social networking website Tumblr, and is the founder of Officialunitedstates Industries Corp LLP, LLC, Inc.
Self-described as an “art conglomeration in the genre of post-post-modern introspective narrative accumulation,“ officialunitedstates’ posts can best be described simply as bad. Whereas the majority of officialunitedstates’ posts are short paragraph or less text posts, officialunitedstates has also developed a comic, and has published dozens of short stories.
To date, officialunitedstates has made almost 10,000 original posts garnering over 35 million notes from those original posts, with one post attaining over one million notes. Popular recognizable posts authored by officialunitedstates include a review of Olive Garden, the post about river water and socks, and the train post.
History
Officialunitedstates began posting in early 2013 under a variety of URLs including “officialspaghetti” before eventually settling on the current “officialunitedstates” url. After making his first few posts exclusively to satirize the then popular pastel/grunge movement, officialunitedstates quickly expanded to post on a variety of topics. It is rumored that officialunitedstates was a moderately successful club penguin blogger before his time as a text post blogger, although sources cannot confirm just how moderate.
Officialunitedstates rose to prominence gradually throughout the mid 2010′s, weaseling his way into the “bad text post” genre. For the first few years, officialunitedstates sometimes posted in character as the United States government, although he has since dropped any connection with the U.S. government since the U.S.’s weak reaction to Russia’s illegal annexation of Crimea.
A common post structure prevalent in the early years of the blog was Facts of the Day, which are all true except for one.
Officialunitedstates has launched a twitter, sensing the impending downfall of tumblr.com.
Officialunitedstates has recently monetized his blog, likely to be able to pay the numerous workers employed at Officialunitedstates Industries Corp LLP, LLC, Inc. He has since then relentlessly asked for four dollars.
Style and Themes
Officialunitedstates has repeatedly stated the blog is an art blog, and at times, an artistic experience, but definitely not a s---post blog. Although most posts can be considered standalone pieces, many thematic elements and styles have rooted themselves deep into the officialunitedstates experience.
Officialunitedstates is notable for running a “clean” blog, refusing to post the bad words so often heard at middle school lunch room tables these days (because they are against the law).
Officialunitedstates has demonstrated an interest in certain ordinary elements of society. For example, officialunitedstates has made hundreds of posts about trains and how good they are. Officialunitedstates is one of Dr Pepper’s biggest fans and gained notoriety for live-blogging the drinking of one can. Officialunitedstates has also repeatedly stressed his anti-golf sentiments.
Robots have frequently come up as one of officialunitedstates’ main antagonists, both in his short stories and in many text posts. Officialunitedstates has often warned of the impending “Great Robot Wars,” claiming that they will occur within the next twenty years.
Officialunitedstates has repeatedly received anonymous hate messages from people who dwell in the sewers. He has fired back relentlessly at these critics who, again, reside in the sewers.
Controversies
Officialunitedstates is no stranger to taking on the masses, having repeatedly attacked the superwhoelock institution as a whole, but has since made amends in an effort to secure their influence in order to gain enough power to destroy tumblr.com.
Officialunitedstates is also avidly anti-bee, despite how much good they do for the world and how they are rapidly dying. As Captain and First Mate of his local bee killer society he has advocated for punching them with fists, shooting them with a sniper rifle, and marrying them.
In 2018, officialunitedstates faced backlash for his unpublished anti-home schooled post, echoing his anti-introvert posts of years ago, despite the widespread belief that he himself is an introvert.
In early 2019, officialunitedstates was the target of the Dr. Pepper Fiasco, which resulted in a lot of hurt feelings. Officialunitedstates has since bounced back from this ordeal.
Officialunitedstates has also had many other controversial opinions.
Personal Life
Officialunitedstates has claimed multiple times that he lives in a mansion and has a pet giraffe named Alfred, although we cannot verify the accuracy of those claims. Officialunitedstates is reportedly an aspiring space lawyer.
Officialunitedstates has had five girlfriends, but currently has four after one won the lottery.
Officialunitedstates is Founder of Officialunitedstates Industries Corp LLP, LLC, Inc., although little is known about how the corporate entity operates with the blog. Sometimes the corporation has been in absolute chaos, performing questionably financially, and sometimes concerns have been raised that the corporation exists at all. We do know a few facts, such that there is a 10th floor, and it makes $7.5M in revenue annually.
Officialunitedstates barely escaped from a flat earth household.
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idonteat-idontsleep · 4 years
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Wyrmsrules: answer 17 questions and tag 17 people you wanna get to know better
Nickname: Babydoll, it’s tattooed on my knuckles. There are some who call me Papa because I once essentially started a cult. My rap name is Big Greezy, and on twitter I am eroticdeodorant and once I tried to change it and everyone I know got very angry with me so that has become my identity now.
Zodiac sign: Aquarius babey, and I’m the evil kind (:<
Hogwarts house: Slytherin babey, and I’m the evil kind (:<
Last thing I googled: how make clean water metal gear survive (this is gonna get me kicked out of the metal gear fandom)
Favorite musician: idk I guess Suburban Scum, The Sword, Fearless Flyers/Vulfpeck, Rotting Out, Knocked Loose, He is Legend?
Song stuck in my head: typing the phrase “in my head” got Zombie by The Cranberries stuck 😒 so thanks for that. But before that it was the drum solo from In The Air Tonight by Phil Collins because my work only plays 80s music.
Following: 649
Followers: 767
Amount of sleep I get: it depends on my mania I guess.
Lucky Numbers: 32, 69 (the universal lucky number) 420 (from Weed)
Dream Job: Aquarium Biologist (or!) Hard Boiled noir detective from the 40s
Wearing: all black everything because I’m edgy I guess
Favorite song: uhhhhhh right now it’s Black River by The Sword, but if I’m honest, Brought Here to Suffer by Napoleon (the original, black and gold cover, music video on YouTube, the new vocalist re-recording sounds like butthole) or maybe Swarm by Meshuggah?
Instruments: I play guitar, bass, drums, and I’ve been singing for 20 years. Hmu if you wanna hear a couple songs I recorded by myself on every instrument, I refuse to shamelessly self promote on here.
Random facts: aight so boom I can put my tongue inside my nose. I have scary witchcraft tattoos that make my coworkers leave me alone. I’ve been on tumblr for a god damn decade. I’m 6’4” and I am bisexual (hmu literally anyone hot and funny). I’ve written several songs about killing god and none of them were metal songs. I have a personality disorder (hystrionic but I may have spelled that wrong) and it *hits the woah* sucks. I would do anything for Zack Fox to make a full album, and I am prepared to back that up. I fantasize constantly about gaining superpowers and using them for evil!
Aesthetics: joth (jock goth) I love athletic wear, but I also hate gaudy color and the sun. I’m essentially a caricature of a 2006 mall goth combined with grainy youtube slavs.
Favorite Video Game: Metal Gear, full series. Half Life/portal. Resident Evil 4. God of War (especially the new one.) Metroid Fusion. Zelda: Twilight and Wild. Mega Man X6, Fallout series.
Well I got tagged by @lots-of-spooky-moments And I literally do not have that many mutual s so let’s just see who pops up when I press @
@admutual
@iguanamouth
@officialunitedstates
@pukicho
@hungwy
@vampireapologist
@rever-de-vous
@reverielagoon420
@brynnjaminfranklin
@bbloodflowrs
@churlishopossum
@excuse-my-disdain
@killapunk
@crimeshetyped
@stancine
@infalliblestars
@pickle-sickle
That was harder than it should have been. Good luck dorks
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