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#s: brooklyn nine nine
harveywritings92 · 1 year
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Ghost: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me.
R/n: Okay, but in my defense, Soap bet me 50 cents that I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.
Ghost: That’s not what I wanted to—
Ghost:....
Ghost: You drank SHAMPOO?
R/n: What, No! That wou- *hiccups as bubbles float out of her mouth.*
Ghost:...
R/n:...
R/n: That, was...extremely bad timing.
Ghost, sighs grabbing his car keys: Let’s go the hospital.
{R/n got her stomach pumped again.]
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godsofhumanity · 3 months
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Zeus: I will not be using a loophole. As always, I'll be using the main hole or no hole. I choose no hole. Poseidon: You just said "hole" way too much, Zeus. Hera: And that's coming from Poseidon. Zeus: Yes, that is concerning.
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Jouno, about Tecchou: He's so dumb. I can't believe I'm going to kiss him.
Teruko: You don't have to.
Jouno: Nah, I'm gonna.
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incorrectsonicquotes · 3 months
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Vector: "Are you excited about going to town on daddy's nog?"
Knuckles: "CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED, VECTOR RUINED IT!"
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incorrect3rachaquotes · 3 months
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Chan: We can never let anyone know that we caved to Jisung's puppy eyes. Changbin: Agreed. Chan: Take it to the grave? Changbin: To the grave. Chan: This conversation never happened. Changbin: I don't even know who you are. Chan: That's hurtful. You took it too far. Changbin: That's a weird thing for a stranger to say.
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ap-kinda-lit · 2 years
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Goku: We're all dressed up for this. Vegeta's even wearing his nice suit.
Vegeta: It's the one without any blood on it.
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withlovefromolympus · 2 years
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Criminals: We have your son
Zeus: You’re gonna have to be more specific. Like, a lot more specific
Criminals: He just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off his sandwich?
Zeus: Dear gods, you have Ares
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thegangofpaddyspub · 2 months
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Dennis: What is wrong with your mouth?
Mac: “What’s wrong with your mouth” title of our sex tape.
Dennis: What?
Mac: YOUR. YOUR sex tape. What? No.
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Lester: In my defense, Chiron, I was the only one saying we should stop hitting.
[Earlier]
Lester: Meg! Stop hitting! Kicking hurts more!
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Aizawa: I will not be using a loophole. As always, I'll be using the main hole or no hole. I choose no hole. Midnight: You just said "hole" way too much. Cementoss: And that's coming from Midnight. Aizawa: Yes, this is concerning.
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Yamamoto, lecturing the Captains: Rules are all made to be followed! Nothing is made to be broken!
Jushiro: Piñatas!
Soi Fon, muttering: Karate boards.
Kyoraku: Spaghetti.
*everyone turns to look at him*
Kyoraku: ...when you have a small pot.
Zaraki: Rules.
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harveywritings92 · 1 year
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Soap, to R/n: Me and Ghost are tight, like brothers. And if I run and leap at him right now, he will most certainly catch me in his arms. 
R/n, already knowing how this’ll end: Oh, I wouldn’t do that Soap.
Soap, ignores her runs and leaps towards Ghost: Coming in! 
Ghost, drinking his morning tea: ….*Sidesteps Soap* 
[Soap proceeds to faceplant into a pile cardboard boxes and looks up a Ghost confused.]
Ghost: Don’t you know the first rule of being siblings, Johnny? Never trust your big brother; I could be your best friend or the biggest dick on the planet. (Walks away.)
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godsofhumanity · 1 year
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Persephone: Feels like you're being a little harsh. Hades: Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh. I'll turn it up.
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Jouno: I'm not helping you.
Fukuchi: Why not?
Fukuchi: Is it because I once betrayed you?
Jouno: Yes! It was literally our last interaction!
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valorrant · 2 years
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Yoru: Brimstone yelled at me.
Yoru: Apparently I'm "immature" and "arrogant" and "Yoru"
Yoru: that last one was just my name, but you should have heard the way he said it.
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incorrect3rachaquotes · 3 months
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Chan, to Jisung over the phone: I am very disappointed in you. [Chan hangs up] Changbin: What was he saying? Jisung: He's very disappointed in you.
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