#rude and cowardly and he actually deserves to let it out on me more and im rude for not serving and submitting

[ordinaryschmuck]

Angst—Eda and Lilith(or whoever really), corner/capture Darius and try to grill him about the Day of Unity. He recognizes Eda from the stuff w Raine and taunts her about their capture, which distracts her enough to let him escape. Whoever she’s with is upset he got away, but Edas just…relieved but scared that’s Raines alive.

Holding on to Hope

Darius hit a tree hard, stunning him as he slid to the dirt. Blinking the stars out of his eyes, he saw the two witches that stood before him.

Eda and Lilith. They're staffs aimed and glyphs at the ready.

"You're done," Lilith stated as fact.

"But if you want, we can rough you up a bit more," Eda quipped, but with more of an angry tone to her voice than normal.

"Oh, please spare me the threats," Darius rolled his eyes, "So, you've got me. What's next? Are you going to kill me?"

"We might. It's more than you deserve, after all."

"Focus, Edalyn," Lilith interjected, "We're not sure what we'll do with you. But know that while we have you, the Emperor won't be able to pull off the day of unity. At least, he'll have to delay it, that is."

"Ah, so you're going for the temporary victory, then," Darius said with a sneer, "I didn't know you were that cowardly to do what's needed."

"What? Do you actually want us to kill you?" Eda snarked.

"Not really. But you might as well. It'll save me from the embarrassment of getting defeated by two powerless witches who just so happen to be spineless."

"First of all, with how hard we kicked your butt, you don't have the right to call us powerless. Second, who are you calling spineless!"

"Eda..."

"I'm just stating facts," Darius shrugged. "I mean, why else would you run after we captured them."

Eda grit her teeth, her grip tightening on her staff.

"Oh, yes, that's right," Darius' sneer got wider, "I remember you, Owl Lady. It's hard not to see the ex-most wanted criminal of the Isles when she's helping that little turncoat."

"Shut up," Eda growled.

"Maybe then, they would have stood a chance."

"Shut up."

"I mean, if you were there to help, poor Raine Whispers probably wouldn't even be in the dirtiest little dungeon cell we have right now..."

"I SAID--" But Eda stopped her threat, catching onto her enemy's words. "What...What are you talking about?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. Now you want me to speak?"

"Don't be smart with me, Mud Face!" Eda demanded, "Tell me what you said before I bust your head open with a block of ice!"

"Um, ok, that Mud Face line? Rude. And I don't know. I don't think I'm in the mood to talk. You ever think about that?"

"Then how about I make you talk!" Eda raises her staff, ready to strike, only for Lilith to grab it.

"Stop! He's just toying with you, and you know it!"

"I'm really not, though," Darius confidently said, "We do have that traitor. It's just that you'll never find out where they are."

"You wanna bet!" Eda forced Lilith away, causing her to trip and fall on her back. Charging at Darius, ready to beat the answers out of him, Eda raised her staff again. But when she swung it downwards, he caught it, his hand resembling that of an abomination's.

"Thanks for playing," he snarked to the shocked Eda, throwing her backward with his abomination-like strength. "I'd like to chat, but you're both surprisingly resilient despite your curse. And your age, might I add. So, if you don't excuse me..."

At that moment, abomination goo surrounded Darius, teleporting him away from the two witches, despite Lilith's attempt to dive in and catch him.

"Curses!" Lilith shouted, slamming her fist into the dirt. "I hope you're proud of yourself!"

"What did I do?!" Eda shouted back.

"You let your anger get the better of yourself and allowed Darius the chance to escape!"

"He said that Raine's still alive!"

"It was a lie--"

"No, it wasn't!"

"And what makes you say that?! Huh?"

"Because I know liars! And I can sniff out a lie when I see it! That man was not lying!"

"I lied to you for years, and you've never known. So what makes Darius different?"

"He just is!"

"Face it, Edalyn. He lied to you, and Raine is--"

"I CAN'T ACCEPT THAT!" It was that made Lilith recoil in shock. Primarily due to the tears welling up in Eda's eyes.

"I...I can't accept it," she continued, as the tears started flowing, "I can't accept that they're gone. Raine...Raine means so much to me, and the idea that I've lost them forever tore me up inside. So knowing that they're still alive, even if there's a chance that it's false hope...it's still hope regardless. And if I don't have that hope, then...then I don't know what I'll do with myself..."

Eda wiped away her tears, looking at her now shell-shocked sister.

"I have to believe they're alive. For my own sake and sanity, I have to believe it."

"I...alright," Lilith nodded, "Alright. Maybe he's not lying. Even then, you have no way of finding out where they are. How are you even going to find them?"

"Easy," Eda held her staff at the ready, "By beating the snot out of every coven guard, grunt, and head that I see until one of them tells me where my Raine is."

"...I think I can help you with that," Lilith smiled, one that Eda shared wholeheartedly.

#the owl house #eda clawthorne #lilith clawthorne #toh darius #raine whispers #raeda #kind of #the hiatus of drabbles

[lunarfly]

Ok so I decided to finally post the promised: defending Romione (🥺💗💕💖💞💘) against Dr*mione (ಠಿ_ಠ) shippers.

So I've read a few posts about Dr*mione shippers, talking about why their ship is amazing (which had nothing to do with canon btw) and bashing Ron (for no reason) and I'm literally shaking out of anger.

Here are my thoughts:

1. "Ron is too dumb for hermione"

Stop- Just-

Stop.

RON IS NOT DUMB.

Yes, he might not be very interested in school subjects, but 👏 that 👏 doesn't 👏 mean 👏 he 👏 is 👏 dumb 👏.

He is actually very smart! He beat McGonagall's chess game, he is logical and quick-thinking. There's MANY examples of this that I won't name right now, but it's a canonical fact. Ron. Is. Not. Dumb.

And consider he was dumb. So? Would that stop Romione from happening? NO! Hermione didn't mind Ron not being smart. She was just upset that Ron was lazy and wouldn't study anything until the last minute. She wanted to get both Harry and Ron to study according to a schedule.

Is it clear? Intelligence doesn't determine love.

**And this is something that confuses me. This doesn't have anything to do with the point, but why does nobody realize that Harry isn't much smarter than Ron? Yes, he was better at DADA but that requires TALENT, not intelligence. And I'm pretty sure we all know that Ron is talented as well (hopefully everyone realizes that). Nobody uses the fact that Harry wasn't intelligent against Harmione, but everyone uses the fact that Ron wasn't intelligent against Romione. The double standards tear apart the fandom.

2. "Ron bought hermione perfume and Draco could get her something better."

Soooo, you're saying that just because Ron didn't have the money that Draco had means that Hermione didn't deserve Ron?

Wow, this just says a lot about you dr*mione shippers. You only care about the money that Draco has, not his personality. You don't like Ron because he's poor (and I know how FanFics give the "kind Draco" Ron's canon personality so the only "problem" with Ron is his looks and lack of money). And you don't see Hermione nor Ron the way they are. This "point" of yours is literally stating that Hermione should be a gold-digger and get Draco because he can get her the expensive presents that she deserves. Yikes.

3. "Draco can understand the emotional side of Hermione while Ron can't."

Wait

What?

WHERE DO YOU GET THIS IDEA FROM-

Draco is only EVER concerned about his own self, he is a NARCISSIST. He would NEVER care for someone (let alone Hermione) as purely and truly as he cared about himself. He didn't even care about Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy Parkinson etc. He was selfish. The only reason he could express his emotions was because he had to go through a lot since he realized that killing Dumbledore wasn't as easy as bullying Hermione. This would never ever work.

And even if Ron didn't understand her as much, he STILL comforted her. Take the beginning chapters of The Deathly Hallows as an example. You'll see.

4. "Ron is too immature."

I need help.

Of course Ron was immature when he was 11!! Yes, he acted immaturely many times, yes, he made many mistakes, but guess what? He changed! He changed for Hermione!! Draco didn't change at all, not for Hermione, nor for anyone else. He remained the same bratty bully.

If you could reread the books and read prisoner of azkaban vs deathly hallows, you will definitely see how much Ron has matured. He doesn't argue with Hermione anymore, he comforts her, he's there for her. Yes, he made a mistake but he was manipulated by the horcrux! We don't blame Ginny for what tom riddle's diary made her do, do we? So stop blaming Ron!

Anyways, I think if dr*mione shippers have read the books, they'll know what I'm talking about when I say Ron changed for Hermione. I honestly don't know how you could miss Ron's character arc.

5. "Ron would be jealous of the brilliant Hermione."

What?

If I remember correctly, the reason Draco bullied the trio was because he was jealous of them. His jealousy turned into a 7 year torture for the trio and now you're saying that Ron is the jealous one? Please.

But anyways, Ron has been jealous of Harry and has made a few mistakes. But there are reasons behind them and I can defend him for each of these with arguments other than "everyone makes mistakes" (cough cough* Draco stans* cough cough).

First of all, Ron has admitted being jealous of Harry's fame because he lives with 5 older brothers who outshine him. But that's not really a mistake because he never let it get in his way. There were only 2 situations in 7 years when he left Harry out of jealousy but I think these have different explainations.

No1 Ron left in goblet of fire. I think the real reason that Ron let his jealousy get in his way this time, was not only because Harry got to participate in the tournament which could bring him eternal glory, but more likely because he was disappointed that his own best friend didn't even tell him that he was entering and didn't even help him participate (which wasn't true, but Ron thought so back then).

No2 Ron left in deathly hallows. This one was 100% because of the horcrux and I think we should all accept this by now and stop hating on Ron for being affected by dark magic.

And just like that, Ron never let his jealousy get in his way of friendships. I can't think of a situation where Ron is jealous of the brilliant Hermione so if you remember, please let me know so I can argue against it. <3

6. "Ron and Hermione would break up and remain friends, it's easy to imagine because they didn't have a strong relationship."

This was actually said, someone actually said this-

I'm just going to say that Ron and Hermione are happily married to this day (which definitely proves that their relationship is strong) and give the dr*mione community a moment of silence.

7. "Ron didn't do anything for Hermione and was just a jerk."

Coming from a person who has read and reread the books multiple times, I can assure you that Ron did many things for Hermione.

Of course, he was immature at first, he was mean to her, but slowly he started seeing more of the good in Hermione and started changing for her.

And even when he was immature, he still cared about Hermione and would protect her no matter what.

Let's remember how many times rubbish Ron stood up for Hermione against the brilliant bully Draco. 🥰

Let's remember how cowardly Ronald faced his fears of spiders to help Hermione (and the rest of the school, just how jerkier can he get?). 🥰

Let's remember how ridiculous Ronniekins stood up for Hermione against sensational Snape and got himself into detention (oh yes, this is the book version of the movie moment where Ron agrees with Snape about Hermione being an 'insufferable know-it-all'). 🥰

Let's remember how rotten Ronny comforted Hermione when she was worried about Hagrid and Buckbeak (and he even let her hug him and cry on his shoulder, how rude). 🥰

Let's remember how revolting Ronald sacrificed himself to save Harry and Hermione in the chess game. 🥰

Let's remember how horrendous Ron attempted to hex Draco when he used a slur that was meant to offend Hermione. 🥰

Keep in mind that all of these were done when Ron was still immature and still argued a lot with Hermione.

And these aren't even all.

8. "Ron and Hermione have a loveless marriage."

What the-

I'm sorry, I'm trying to be respectful here but this is crap. And the fact that the person said they also had "proof" from the c*rsed ch*ld but didn't want to spoil it-

As much as I hate the c*rsed ch*ld, I can tell you that it did its job portraying Ron and Hermione's unconditional love. Even in alternative realities, where they didn't get married, they were still in love.

And why would you even think that Ron and Hermione would marry and have kids if they didn't love each other? I need explainations.

Next.

9. "Ron never listens to Hermione."

I'm sorry, what? I'm genuinely confused??

What do you even mean by this? Yeah, they used to argue a lot, and? Ron thinks Hermione is brilliant and wonderful and he follows her advice. I can't recall a moment where Ron won't listen to Hermione, doesn't agree with her and ruins her plans. Anyone else?

Since this one is a big mess and a confusion, I'll move on to the next one until someone explains the points and arguments.

10. "Draco could make Hermione laugh while Ron couldn't."

....

Do I really need to say anything for this one?

Ron was the funniest one from the trio, that's why Harry enjoyed his company so much! Don't you remember the line in goblet of fire where Harry thinks about how much he misses having Ron as his best friend, because without him there's less fun and less laughs? I do.

But what I don't remember is finding Draco's sense of humor funny. I'm sorry but his intellectual level is almost as low as Crabbe and Goyle's. His insults are none other than Potty and Weaselbee, he only got 3 O.W.L.s and all of his jokes were stupid and dumb and their only purpose was insulting people he was jealous of.

These fanfics have rotten people's brains...😬

Anyways, I'm going to stop here. I've delayed this post for very long and I'm so excited to finally post it!

I read a book on wattpad by a dr*mione shipper and it was nothing but a giant headache. That's where I got all of these statements from. Most of the garbage in the book revolved around Draco and Hermione being inseparable and getting over all obstacles (wth) and other stupid stuff like that which really annoyed me. The book was called "why we love dr*mione" and it was by Bittenwizard. You can read and enjoy! Trust me, you'll have lots of content to post about after that 🤠👍

*I always try to be respectful to all ships, but sometimes some of them really anger me because the ships are either toxic or the arguments are plain trash. I'm sorry if I offend anyone.

Thank you for reading this. If you're a dr*mione shipper, I hope I've convinced you to give up the ship or come up with better arguments for it.

If you're an anti-dramione I hope you enjoyed the post. I'll delight you with more anti-toxic-ships content. :)

Thank you once again! <3

#ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley #ronald weasley #romione #ron and hermione #hermione and ron #hate dramione #anti dramione #dramione #draco and hermione #hermione and draco #hermione x draco #draco x hermione #ron x hermione #hermione x ron #anti draco malfoy #draco malfoy #hermione granger #anti draco x hermione #anti draco stans

[asterekmess]

what scott did to derek in the season 2 finale wasn’t a violation, it was poetic justice and derek’s well deserved comeuppance for being an inhuman, incompetent flop as a an alpha, werewolf and person. derek knew he deserved it, that’s why he accepted it and never held it against scott. not to mention that by inconveniencing derek for a few seconds, scott single-handedly defeated gerard and the kanima and saved derek’s and everyone’s life at the warehouse. plus, he made derek a better person

Look. I know you like Scott. But I need you to understand that what you’re saying is not only factually incorrect, but the implications of it are really hurtful.

Scott suffered a lot because he was bitten without being given a choice. Peter attacked him and turned him into something he never wanted to be. That is horrible for him, and I feel for him. What frustrates me so much is that he had his autonomy taken away from him, he suffered a huge injustice, and instead of protecting other people’s rights to choose, he decided to take away their choice the same way it was done to him. He shamed and insulted Erica and Boyd for their decisions to take the bite, completely negating their abilities to make their own choices. Derek didn’t attack them. He told them the risks, he explained what the bite was and what he expected back from them if he gave it to them. They asked for the bite. That was their choice, not Scott’s.

First off, Derek did not deserve what happened to him. A rape survivor who lost his entire family in a brutal fire that his rapist set and had his big sister murdered by his own uncle, did not deserve to have his body used without his consent to give what he considered a gift to the father of the woman who assaulted him, and it in no way made him a ‘better person.’ No. You need to be more careful about the things you say, because sexual assault survivors shouldn’t have to read horrible things like what you just typed out and sent to me. I should not have to read it.

Second, Scott’s motivation behind what he did was not justice. It was pride, a disregard for Derek’s bodily autonomy, and maybe even an actual urge to help with the Gerard situation. You could even add revenge to the list, since Gerard threatened Scott’s mom. And I have to point out, if Scott is really the amazing person that you’re claiming he is, then ‘poetic justice’ should never be something he is aiming for. Good people don’t do the thing that is the most ‘poetic.’ If Scott were as empathetic and kind as people claim he is or the show tries to tell us he is, he never would have done that to Derek, no matter how much he disliked him. There was no reason why he couldn’t have told Derek what he had planned and gotten Derek’s permission to do what he did. Scott kept the secret from him because he felt like he had the right to make decisions about Derek’s body without Derek’s consent. He did it because he wanted to be the one with the secrets for once. He outright admits that he kept the secret “Because you may be an Alpha, but you’re not mine.” He wanted to prove that Derek couldn’t control him, by hurting Derek and forcing him to give what Derek considered the greatest gift a werewolf could bestow, to the father of the woman who murdered Derek’s family. That is cowardly, childish, and apathetic, and it directly contradicts the idea that Scott is in any way True Alpha material.

Third, nothing he did was single-handed, because Derek isn’t an inanimate object or a tool. He’s a person, and without him, Scott’s plan wouldn’t have happened. Without Deaton, Scott’s plan wouldn’t have happened. Scott did not act alone.

Fourth, Derek didn’t accept what Scott did, and he did hold it against him. He felt so unsafe with Scott that he didn’t even tell him about the Alphas over the summer, didn’t ask for his help to find his Betas, because he didn’t think Scott could be trusted. Scott had already sold him out once and Derek had every right to believe Scott would do it again. (Which he then did at the end of S3A when he went to join Deucalion and left Derek unconscious in an elevator, in a hospital about to be swarmed with cops.)

Fifth, everything you are angry with Derek for, Scott did as well. So if you’re saying that Derek is ‘inhuman’ and a failure of an Alpha/werewolf/person, then you must be saying the same thing about Scott. Yes, Derek threw his Betas around and injured Isaac. Scott also threw Isaac into a wall twice (without even the pretense of training him) and dug his claws into Liam’s (I think it was him) neck without his permission. Yes, Derek chained his Betas up on the full moon. Scott abducted Liam and duct-taped him to his bathtub without explaining anything he’d done to him, and I’m pretty sure (though I don’t remember it well) that he was involved in Liam getting chained to a tree at one point. Yes, Derek kept secrets from his pack under the pretense of ‘protecting’ them. Scott also kept the truth about how Allison’s mom was bitten from her, letting her believe for months that Derek brutally attacked her mother for no reason, and lied to Kira about her losing control of her kitsune (though I also don’t remember a lot of that plotline). He also lied to Stiles about whether Lydia liked him, after making out with Lydia (who currently had a boyfriend) in the coach’s office, which is just a dick move, whether it was the full moon or not. Derek told Erica to seduce either Scott or Stiles? Scott told Allison to go on a date with Matt and KISS HIM. Derek scared Isaac away by shouting at him? Scott shouted at Allison for doing something she’d already told him she was going to do, and for telling her parents something she’d already warned him she was going to tell them, and told her to stay away from him. Derek shoved Scott against a wall? Scott shoved Stiles against a wall on his first moon! Oh, Scott was scared/frustrated/having trouble with control? Well, Derek’s sister had just died and Scott was about to expose the entire supernatural secret to a lacrosse field full of people.

Sixth, Scott didn’t defeat Gerard or the Kanima, and he definitely didn’t save the warehouse full of people. Gerard wasn’t dead after getting the bite from Derek. He had enough energy left to tell the Kanima to kill everyone in the room, and escape while no one was looking. The Kanima wasn’t defeated by Scott, it had Allison by the fucking throat and it only backed off when Stiles hit it with his goddamn Jeep and Lydia came out to face Jackson. Scott had nothing to do with that. Lydia is technically the one who saved everyone in the warehouse, and Stiles was her ride. Scott’s contribution was negligible. It was a time waster. He could have accomplished the exact same thing by just standing there and talking to Gerard until Stiles showed up with Lydia.

Seventh, Scott’s behavior was indeed a violation. And I don’t just mean the bite he forced Derek to give Gerard. He didn’t just get revenge on the guy who’d been rude to him and arguing with him for the last few months. He lied to Derek, over and over (while also avoiding ever technically lying, in much the same way Deaton often does, to avoid being caught out by his heartbeat). He learned Derek’s plans and where Derek was hiding, insinuated that he wanted to be part of Derek’s pack (knowing how important pack was to Derek), and outright yelled at Derek for supposedly keeping something from him (Which he wasn’t. Derek canonically wasn’t holding back any secrets from Scott at the time, unless you count the fact that Peter was alive, which Derek had every right to assume Deaton had already told him) all while he was the one working for Gerard. (That is literally gaslighting. Like, literally.) He exposed Derek and his pack to Gerard, feeding him information on the same kids that he insisted were ‘his responsibility’ that probably helped Gerard get ahold of Erica and Boyd to torture them. It was a violation of Derek’s consent. A violation of Derek’s trust, of Erica and Boyd and Isaac’s trust. And a violation of Stiles’ trust as well, since Stiles had no clue what Scott was doing.

You came to my ask box after seeing the various posts that I’ve made, with documented moments from the show and well reasoned arguments and frustrations with Scott McCall’s character. Are you seriously telling me you didn’t think I’d have a comeback?

#personal #go for it #Meta ramblings #anti-scott mccall #hate mail #rant #I had to completely rewrite this because tumblr is stupid and deleted my response the first time #apologies for no 'read more' i'm too frustrated to put it in #i'll add one to the next long post #Anonymous

[enviedear]

the last great american dynasty → draco malfoy

DESCRIPTION ⌙ in which y/n l/n buys an old home and quickly becomes the talk of the town

PAIRING ⌙ draco x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ⌙ 2.7k

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

pls enjoy this fic as i write my other four... its proving most difficult to keep up with all of them but i’m trying. and of course this is based off the song the last great american dynasty by taylor :)))

also here is the house i’m going to be referencing :)

when you moved to england your first task was to do as your parents suggested, stay with your distant relative, aurora sinistra. 

and you followed their advice. you tracked down her home. she just happened to be away. she had left a note saying something about how she couldn’t miss some sort of planetary alignment and would be in germany for the next week.

you had decided to explore the new territory and after an hour of walking around the town you met your soulmate, a home. and not just any home, a beautiful large piece of art made of stone. 

the huge house enticed you to climb up the large hill it was sat on. 

up closer you saw the vines and wisteria climbing up the exterior. then more details like the broad windows in need of cleaning, an old oak door, and doric columns that made you feel like you stumbled into a princess story. 

you forgot your normal manners and had entered the home without a knock, pacing slowly through the entryway, studying the decor.

“excuse me?” a voiced called.

you had turned to find a tall brunette woman holding a toddler.

“i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean to just walk up into your home. its just, very beautiful, and i saw a for sale sign by the mailbox.” you had sputtered out.

the woman seemed even more surprised after you had spoken, “are you american?”

“yes?” you had replied, confused.

“it’s just, no one comes here and now i know why you did,” she laughs a little and adjusts the little boy on her hip. “this is a family home of a dark wizard, not many people want to visit a house that has such negative connotations. but i’d love to give you tour if you’re still interested in it?” she asks.

you smile, “i’d love to. i’m y/n by the way.”

andromeda tonks had quickly taken a liking to you and offered you the home. she explained that absolutely no one else would buy it given the fact it used to belong to her sister, who had fought alongside voldemort. 

you didn’t mind the weird history that came along with the home, it was too beautiful to pass up. plus, it wasn’t unlike to you to cause a stir. you took pride in doing things out of the ordinary.

that’s how you came into the possession of the lestrange family home, or as you call it, wisteria house, after the flowers that inhabited the residence.

now, almost a year later, you’re the talk of the town. most of your pureblood neighbors found you too new. you were new money, you were apart of an american half-blood family, and you hosted parties they deemed too loud. however you knew they were tasteful.

you couldn’t care any less about what they thought of you. your home was your everything and you wouldn’t change yourself for some stuck up old families. you found it marvelous ruining everything they deemed sacred.

one of your neighbors in particular, a man named lucius malfoy, had annoyed you to no end. he hated everything about you. andromeda told you several times by now that he proclaimed you a mad woman to anyone who brought you or wisteria house up.

so today, on the fifth of june two thousand and three, you were determined to win this feud.

lucius’ home, malfoy manor was hosting a party tonight, and you were set on ruining everything.

as you entered the mansion, you absentmindedly smoothed out your tight fit gown. it hung off your shoulders and had a tasteful slit on the left side, exposing your leg.

“y/n, come sit with teddy and i!” andromeda calls from a nearby table.

you smile at the woman and take your seat beside her, giving teddy a kiss on the forehead. he in return, makes his hair your favorite color and smiles up at you.

“i didn’t think you’d actually come dear. i know how rude lucius has been to you, but i’m glad you’re being pleasant and showing off your best face.” andromeda says sarcastically, bringing her wine glass to her pointed lips.

you smirk, “lucius deserves to experience my full presence.”

the party kicks off and andromeda introduces you to many people, like harry potter, who you feel very awkward around. you can’t help it, you don’t know how to talk to someone who saved the world.

she also introduces you to lucius, who is carrying around a small poodle like it’s a handbag. he doesn’t say much to you and you don’t mind, his voice annoys you.

you decide to sneak away from andromeda’s conversation with lucius and make your way to a balcony. to the right, you spot your home. you smile to yourself and begin studying the malfoy garden. 

after a little time passes you decide it best to find andromeda again, but before you can take a step lucius’ dog is licking your exposed leg.

“well how did you get here?” you jokingly ask the animal, crouching down to pet it.

the dog leans into your touch and that’s when you have an idea.

when you attended ilvermorny you learned a spell for dyeing flags so that the opposing houses couldn’t change it. it proved a big hit given the thunderbird house liked to turn flags into theirs as a joke during quadpot games.

you could dye the dogs fur so that lucius would have a conniption. the dye was completely safe as well, and you were sure the party guests would love to see lucius attempt to change to dogs fur back.

so you dyed the dog a key-lime green, and let it run back off to its owner.

“i suppose my father was right, you are mad.” a voice says from the hall.

you furrow your brows and step further into the hallway so you can get a look at who’s speaking.

leaning against the wall is a tall, pale, blonde boy. draco. andromeda told you about him. apparently he doesn’t like his father much and to spite him, takes teddy on walks in his garden every saturday and thursday morning.

“you know, people have been saying that my home is cursed to make any woman who lives in it insane. and i must admit after finding your aunt bellatrix’s journal i might have to believe them. her sanity did begin slipping after moving into that home.” you say, raising your eyebrows.

“bella was always mad. but if you keep tormenting my father i think it’ll be him to go insane. not that i don’t enjoy your little pranks on him.” he gushes, letting a small smile creep onto his face.

“i can’t just end your dad an i’s little feud here, draco. it would make me look cowardly,” you tease, biting your lip. “i really don’t even know why he invited me to this party. come to think of it, i don’t even know what we’re celebrating.”

“i invited you. it’s my birthday party.” he replies.

“why thank you for your invitation. may i ask how old you are?” you ask.

“twenty-three at 11:37,” he looks at his pocket watch, “ten more minutes.”

you study him before saying, “you know there’s a wall at my house that shows you the way the stars look. would you like to see how the universe aligns the stars for your birthday?” 

draco runs a hand through his hair, “i’d love to. and i’ve been meaning to see what you’ve done with bella’s old house.”

the two of you quietly sneak out of malfoy manor and into wisteria house. you lead him upstairs and into the sky room. the room had an enormously tall glass ceiling, and was decorated with things aurora had given you.

on the wall furtherest from the door was a live depiction of the stars above. tonight the wall showed a vibrant blue galaxy spotted with deep orange and bright white stars.

“you’re lucky, this is one of the best ones i’ve seen this whole year. the stars must like you.” you sigh, happily.

draco laughs a bit and looks at you, “despite being the town nuisance, i find you rather enjoyable.”

“despite that compliment being backhanded, i find you rather enjoyable as well.” you tease.

draco laughs, “did you know that the sacred twenty eight pureblood families have a nickname for you?”

you shake your head asking him to explain.

“they call you the last great american dynasty because you bought this big house and have money they can’t trace.” he says.

“i cant deny, i kind of like it.” you giggle.

draco looks down to his watch, “one minute and then i’m officially twenty three,” he pauses to smirk a little, “you know this is the age my parents got married, and i suppose my mother will expect the same of me now.”

“i’ve always said the best age to get hitched is twenty three. the brain isn’t fully developed so you can still love like a teenager but have the responsibilities of an adult. i suppose by that logic, i too should be getting married this year.” you joke.

draco smiles before looking at you quizzically.

you furrow your eyebrows, “what is it?” 

“i think i have the perfect way to win your little feud with my father.” 

“and what is that?” you ask.

“let’s get engaged.” he says simply.

“draco, i’m honored but,” you pause, thinking.

what would be the harm in accepting. you could spend however long you wanted mulling over the actual wedding. lucius would have to respect you a little more. and draco seemed to be a nice person.

“you know what, this mad woman wouldn’t mind being engaged to you. so long as you don’t rush me to marry you, and we stay here, at wisteria.” you bargain.

“you’re sure? you haven’t been drinking have you? i’d hate to propose to a woman who won’t remember this in the morning.” he jokes.

“i haven’t had anything other than pumpkin juice tonight. although i can say this is extremely impulsive, i am almost certain i’d like to marry you. i mean i just saw the ways the stars looked on your birthday. that’s the most intimate thing i’ve ever done with someone.” you smile.

“that’s the most intimate-” you cut the boy off with a simple, “of course not, silly.”

the two of you talk through the rest of the night and into the early morning before draco escorts himself home.

the following months were bliss, aside from lucius’ annoyance about you and his sons engagement. draco took you all over britian. you bought some of the best ice cream you’ve ever had from a shop in diagon alley, you visited aurora at hogwarts and met the lovely headmistress named minerva who gleamed at draco every time he spoke, you took draco to meet your parents in november to celebrate thanksgiving, and the two of you did a lot of landscaping for wisteria house.

“guess what tomorrow is.” you instruct your fiancee who is tending to the small wiggentree.

draco wipes the dirt from his forehead and purses his lips in thought, “ah, it’s our engagement party.”

you wink at him and wrap your cloak around yourself more trying to get warm, “precisely. i was thinking we announce the wedding day.”

he chuckles, “why y/n, we won’t be getting married for a while. plus i’d hate to toy with mother by giving her a date she’ll have to wait anxiously for. you know that woman is practically dying to have a wedding. though, i would have thought potters’ would have quenched her thirst.”

you roll your eyes, “we’re announcing the day. march the fourth two thousand and five.”

draco’s eyes widen, “and you’re sure?”

you nod and draco barrels toward you with a hug. it knocks you back a bit but you smile and hold the boy tight against you. 

it didn’t take you long to become enraptured in everything that was draco malfoy. he loved you with a firey passion you longed to never go out.

the wedding day came quickly, but not quick enough for you and your fiancee.

“you know, i must say, this crowd has to be bigger than harry’s on his wedding day.” you say to andromeda, narcissa, and your mom.

“it’s because half of these people are a little too invested in your life. i love you but having your wedding at a former deatheater’s home isn’t exactly normal. i mean i know it’s not bella’s house anymore but the history remains. i can’t say anyone likes a home of a deatheater. no offense sissy.” andromeda says, looking out the window at the large crowd in the garden.

narcissa rolls her eyes and continues weaving the wisteria into your h/c hair. 

“i wish i was better at braiding honey, but narcissa is doing better than i ever could. you were right to have me just doing your makeup.” your mom says, eyeing your mother-in-laws’ handiwork.

“i just can’t believe the day is finally here. my little boy is getting married. i always knew he’d marry a woman who could keep up with him.” narcissa smiles.

after you and your bridesmaids (who consisted of your best friend, andromeda, and your cousin aurora) were ready, narcissa and your mother escort you all down to the venue.

the two mothers smile at you before taking their seats. 

“next time we talk you’ll be a married woman.” your best friend says, nudging your shoulder.

“isn’t it crazy?” you laugh, clutching your flowers.

she gives you a confident look before walking onto the aisle.

soon enough its your turn to walk. the long train of your white dress trails gracefully behind you and your off the shoulder long sleeves keep your arms warm.

the grey eyes at the end of the aisle look at you with such adoration you can’t help but to let out a stray tear.

draco looks regal in his light grey tux. his blonde hair is styled just like it was in a picture you found of him from his sixth year at hogwarts, and his rosy cheeks allude to his nerves.

when you reach him he holds a hand out for you and wipes the tears from your eyes.

your father is officiating the wedding and gives you a smile that only a father can give before starting his speech.

soon enough it’s time for draco to say his vows.

your lover sniffles a bit before speaking, “y/n l/n, for years this house has sat quietly on this hill, free of women with madness and bad habits until two years ago when it was bought by you. y/n, the most brilliant woman i’ve ever met. you ruined all the negativities that came with this home. your nature is unlike anyone else. you always see the best in people and things. you make a friendly competition out of anything and it never fails to amaze me at the way you push yourself. before we met i was out walking with a few old friends from school and you were outside wisteria planting lilac. i remember one of my friends referred to you as loudest woman this town has ever seen. i have to agree, your aura is impossible to escape. but i would never want to escape your madness. everything you do fills me with light. who knows if you never showed up what could have been. i’ve had a marvelous time ruining everything this home used to stand for with you, and i’d be honored to continue doing just that for the rest of my life. i adore you, y/n.” 

your heart begged to reach out and hug him.

“i love you draco malfoy.” you profess.

“i know pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride.” your father beams.

draco leans into you and gives you a kiss full of love. all the best things in the universe couldn’t compare to this moment right now. in the end you had two soulmates, one, a home that you poured all your work into and two, a man who you poured your whole being into.

when the two of you break away you smile at your husband, knowing that this is everything you’ve ever wanted.

and the town whispered the same thing years into your marriage, “there goes the last great american dynasty.”

#—myfics ! #draco x y/n #draco x you #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy #harry potter #draco x reader #draco x female reader #draco x american! reader #draco malfoy x y/n #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy fluff #the last great american dynasty #taylor swift #cottagecore #harry potter fanfiction

[0itmelex0]

galen and nikolai + 60 for the fluff prompts?

just a warning, this'll include what i consider major spoilers for the future of galen but let's be honest... most'll probably forget once the show gets to this point so it'll be fine. just letting people who have no clue what's in store know aka literally everybody except clary

aLSO there is some ✨angst✨ ahead... like more than i anticipated before writing. honestly there is no fluff to this now that i think about it.

60. taking care of them when they're ill/injured

"You're some how more of a nuisance when you're not yelling at me," Zoya huffed. She leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes.

Galen rolled over and looked at her, "Would you prefer if I did?" His voice was raspy with his vocal cords nearly destroyed. He tore more at his vocal cords in the last few days than he ever did over the course of life.

She opened an eye, her rich black lashes outlining it beautifully. Galen looked ghostly and sweat covered him. Never did she think a Grisha-- a Healer Grisha could look so sick, "No. I rather you be more of a nuisance than cause me another headache. You need to eat, Galen. It's almost been a week and it seems like starving to death would be a pretty shitty way for a Healer Grisha to die."

"Already told you, I don't feel hungry," he turned his back to her and rested his forehead against the wall. "My body only wants one thing and doesn't care about anything else. I'm surprised I'm able to keep water down."

"I'll be coming back with food and if you don't eat it, I'll force it down your gullet for you." The chair fell over as she stood. Galen could feel the intensity with each step she took towards the door. "Maybe you should have thought twice before willingly taking that drug."

Yes, of course I only thought briefly before taking a drug that's drains me as a back up plan to save the one person who could make an antidote. An antidote that could save all other Grisha affected by it. Totally didn't think about it for days on end. He groaned and softly hit his head in a mundane rhythm against the wall after the door slammed shut.

The burnt, sweet taste of the parem was all he wanted. He wanted the rush and heightened senses again. The itchiness and the feeling of disgust in his own skin didn't matter. That delicious taste would be worth it all. He could die from the withdrawals, or he could die from taking more. Either way, I'd be suffering. Why couldn't Kuwei have more? Why didn't Galen save at least a little of what he had gotten from that runaway? This exact moment is why.

Galen went to yell as the door creaked open, "Already told you, Zoya, I'm not hungry! Fuck off!" It only came out as a gravely whisper. He winced with his vocal cords screaming back at him in pain.

"Pretty rude greeting to not only your captain, but to somebody you haven't talked to in almost a week."

With a brief look behind his shoulder, he saw the fox-faced privateer with a small tray in his hands. Galen continued to lightly hit his head against the wall, "You come to berate me too? Just waited until I wasn't acting like a delirious fool, hm? Bring it, heard it all from Zoya."

"Zoya deserved a break and what kind of captain would I be if I didn't take care of my sick crew?" Sturmhond sat the tray down next to Galen's hammock before picking up the knocked over chair.

"A smart one," Galen muttered. "Especially when that sick crew could crush your heart like a grape if they were feeling extra moody."

"Galen," his voice softened. He took a seat right next to the hammock.

"What?" the voice was sharp despite the gravely texture to it.

"Why did you do it?"

Galen roughly turned to face Sturmhond, "Because I was an idiot who wanted a taste of being more powerful. Is that what everybody wants to hear, huh? Is that's what everybody believes?" Even clenching his jaw still hurt. "I just wanted to make sure there was a back up plan just in case getting rid of the poison didn't save Kuwei. He's the only one who has the potential of making an antidote for other Grisha who are suffering."

Sturmhond couldn't look away. Galen's eyes were sunken. Those ocean eyes were a dull and stormy sky. His curly mess of hair stuck to his forehead like a second skin. From what could be seen, his entire body was covered in scratch marks with a few running down his cheeks. Dried blood had gathered under his nails, "Well, then you're the most selfless idiot I know, Galen."

He picked up the tray, "Brought you some stew. Hopefully you can at least keep the broth down. But hey, I'm not competing for the best looking for the time being." He tried to force a smile on his lips.

"I said I'm not hungry, Your Highness. Give the food to somebody who needs it."

"You need it," Sturmhond's voice stiffened. "Now eat before I bring Zoya back to shove it down your throat. . . please."

"Fine," Galen's bones ached as he attempted to sit up.

"I got you," he scooched forward and with the stew in one gloved hands, he cradled the back of Galen's head with the other.

Galen's upper body felt as if it was on fire yet the feeling of Sturmhond's gloved hand holding up the back of his head was the only comforting part. Sickness rushed over him as soon as the broth that tasted of fish touched his dry tongue. He grabbed ahold of the hem of Sturmhond's coat and balled up his fist. Don't throw up. Don't throw up. The broth managed its way down his throat. He broke into a fit of coughs. His ribs ached more.

"You're okay, it's okay," Sturmhond pulled away the bowl and massaged small circles at the base of Galen's neck. "Can you drink anymore?"

"I haven't thrown it back up, so yeah." His grip tightened on Sturmhond's coat as he forced himself to let the broth fill up his empty stomach.

"Don't think you'll be able to handle more than the broth," Sturmhond admitted before gently laying Galen's head back down on the pillow. His fingers lingered as he brushed away the sweat-soaked curls off of Galen's forehead.

"Will you actually say what you're thinking?" Galen scoffed and pulled away. "Zoya's the only one who's been blunt with me since we left Ketterdam. Can't believe I'm saying this, but I rather have her around."

"You really want to know what I'm thinking, Gal?" He tilted his head and swallowed hard. "Do you really?"

"Just be blunt with me, Nik. I know you're thinking I'm the dumbest man alive, everybody does. They've just been too cowardly to come say it to my face like Zoya has. Everybody has been too scared. They've been too scared while I've wanted to do nothing more than claw my way out of this body. Not sure if it's because I want to find more parem or because I want the pain to just go away."

Sturmhond's voice was barely audible, "Yeah. . . I have been scared, Galen. I've been petrified, but not because I can't say that you're dumb to your face. I don't think you're dumb at all." His bottom lip trembled as he held back the tears with all his willpower. "I've been petrified because I wasn't sure if I'd be able to handle seeing you like this. I don't know what I was expecting, but. . . I didn't realize it'd be this bad."

"Saints, just leave then! You can ignore it like you have been! Next time you see me, I'll either be a corpse or have beat it! Either way, you won't have to deal with this." Galen's voice continued to raise despite it clawing at his vocal cords.

"I don't want to leave you, Galen."

"Then what do you want to do?" He slammed his hands down and ignored the sharp ache that stabbed at his shoulders.

"I want to kiss you! I want to be able to take away the pain. . . even just for a second." He exhaled shakily. Sturmhond sniffled and roughly wiped away the tear that ran down his cheek. "I'd kiss every inch of you if that could take it away. You shouldn't be suffering for your selflessness. You of all people don't deserve it."

Galen's stormy eyes glazed over, "You don't need to lie to make me feel bet--"

Sturmhond held Galen's face in his gloved hands. An exhale of defeat left him before leaning down and pressing his lips gently against Galen's. He reluctantly pulled away a few inches. The softness that washed over those eyes. . . no sense of that constant pain just for a fraction of a second.

"What are you doing, Nikolai?" Galen's raspy voice cracked. "Don't act like a fool."

His lips grazed Galen's to give him a chance to pull away. . . to help stop him from acting like a fool. No more protest came from Galen, "I started acting like one a long time ago." Sturmhond kissed him again with all the passion he could give.

The rush. The heightened senses. It all came back. Sturmhond's--Nikolai's--lips were a burning sweet. At least that what it felt like they'd taste like. Just for a brief moment, the pain didn't rattle his bones as he cupped the nape of Nikolai's neck. It was just as addicting as the parem. When the pain returned in full force, Galen didn't pull away to stop the ache. Instead, he welcomed the ache with open arms, no matter how much he wanted to scream or cry. Galen needed to be stronger than it. He needed to be stronger than the parem, if not for himself,

Then for Nikolai.

okay this gif i made of them is DESTORYING ME!

#0itmelex0: answered #0itmelex0: my writing #grishaverse ocs #oc: galen kaminsky turgenev #galen: ask #galen: writing #ship: galenxnikolai #I DID NOT MEAN FOR THIS TO GET AS ANGSTY AS IT DID #BUT I LOVED HOW IT TURNED OUT #no lies... fools by lauren aquilina came on during the last few paragraphs as i was writing them #a song has never suited a moment more #and it was not intentional whatsoever #the remarks of being fools was preplanned fdhkjds #this honestly may be my favorite thing i've written #please do enjoy it as much as i did writing it

[arigatouiris]

blind no more // zenitsu agatsuma

Author’s Note: I am so excited for this one shot! It’s my first Zenitsu one, because I absolutely love his character. There are not many fics about this poor baby and I just needed to write this to fuel my heart. Also, I’m a sucker for slow burns. Huehuehue~

Word count: 4000

Pairing: Zenitsu Agatsuma x Tsundere! Reader

Warnings: angst, slow burn, fluff, pining

It was true when they say you don’t choose who you love. It was rather strange that she did believe this, but regret also flowed through her veins—forcing her to question having feelings in the first place. However, if it wasn’t even a choice, to begin with, was it even her fault?

When she thought hard about this particular person she adored, she couldn’t even find too many reasons to like him. He was a coward. He was, and he understood this many times, a burden to a team consisting of strong demon slayers. She rolled her eyes when she thought of how he was with women, women he barely knew, not to mention the adorable demon sister of their friend. 

Zenitsu Agatsuma didn’t have many reasons for people to like him, but somehow (y/n) (s/n) had found them all.

The strangest predicament wasn’t that she was utterly and devastatingly in love with the golden-haired demon slayer, it was that the only person who knew was Nezuko—Tanjiro’s demon sister. Not even Tanjiro knew she had feelings for their companion, having been incredibly perceptive all his life, he had failed to see this budding tsundere’s growing affection for the cowardly demon slayer. She was tempted to insult him over and over, but nothing could come close to how she insulted herself for actually falling in love with him.

She had many reasons not to love him. Considering the fact that she once overheard him telling Inosuke and Tanjiro that “(y/n) is the only person I’ll never ask to marry me”. 

It broke her heard and since Nezuko was nearby, the demon girl comforted her as much as she could. She stood listening to it and went back silently, letting lonely tears spill when no human in the world could understand, not even herself, on why she was crying.

*

When her crow announced that she had to accompany Zenitsu on a mission, neither of them were thrilled. 

Tanjiro was still recovering from his previous mission and Inosuke was off on his own to God knows where; (y/n) knew she didn’t have a choice. She sucked it up and walked ahead, leaving Zenitsu to grumble and follow behind her. However, it was her first mission with the male, she had no idea of his powers, she had no idea who he was in reality, having been closer to Tanjiro before. 

Inosuke had let her know that Zenitsu can use his powers when he was asleep, and she knew that there had to be some redeeming quality in him if he was a demon slayer. But—she wouldn’t lie to herself—she found him attractive, she always had. He was the most reasonable in the group, in fact, and sometimes, his sense of reason was astounding. It was perhaps when the three met her for the first time did she notice how accurate his reasoning was, how lonely his eyes looked, how his fear was slowly fading away despite him groveling most of the time. 

She had met the three plus one during her own mission, and it was there she was acquainted with them. Zenitsu never approached her unlike how he approached other women, and initially, she was relieved.

This was because he found her intimidating, or that was what Zenitsu had let slip one night to Tanjiro—and she pretended to have not heard that at all. 

During their mission, Zenitsu barely spoke to her. She didn’t know why it bothered her, she didn’t know why his lack of attention toward her made her feel insecure even, but it struck a chord somewhere and it hurt deeply. In the past, even her family had told her she would find it hard to make friends with a personality that literally pushes people away before getting to know them; but that was only because of the way the world was. There was no room for vulnerability, and it broke her heart to see how it never went her way.

In fact, (y/n) wasn’t that a callous person. She was soft when the time called for it. There were times she couldn’t stop smiling; she didn’t think she was too intimidating that even Zenitsu, the woman-lover, would find her repulsive. Tanjiro treated her normally, smiled at her and even greeted her whenever he saw her and she returned the favor with happier smiles, but somehow Zenitsu was never there to see it.

His silence made her feel unwelcome and inadequate. She knew how pretty Nezuko was—she was beautiful even, and she could nowhere come close, but nevertheless, because Zenitsu didn’t even smile at her or consider her a friend, it made her feel bad.

Perhaps, she was carried away with her thoughts and that was why she didn’t see the demon come her way. Gasping, she tried moving aside but the demon’s claws scratched at her shoulder, and she let out a yelp of pain—Zenitsu screamed her name before scurrying away in fear, but she wasn’t going to let this slide. 

Grabbing her blade, she breathed out slowly, entering a space of absolute concentration, before slicing the demon’s head off in one go. Just as she did, her eyes widened, her heart started to beat faster, and the first thing she did was turn around and spot Zenitsu—her eyes were wide and the second she spotted him on the ground, behind her, she calmed down.

She didn’t mean for it to show. 

She didn’t mean for her worry to spill out of her, and a quiet ‘thank goodness’ to slip her tongue. Zenitsu’s eyes widened at her worried expression, which gradually calmed down once she knew he was alright. This moment lasted only a few short seconds before she gulped and turned away, sheathing her sword back in its hilt. 

     “We should head back.” (y/n) said, and he nodded. 

That was all he could do. And she knew it; with the keen hearing sense that he had, she knew Zenitsu probably knew what she was feeling for him.

*

Zenitsu could hear it. 

He thought, at first, that he was mistaken. Not having heard this kind of sound directed toward him before, Zenitsu couldn’t believe he heard it coming from (y/n). He recalled how terribly he had spoken of her a few days prior—thinking of how scary she was, how he would never approach her, how he never saw her as a woman but a scary demon slayer only. 

Oh, he felt terrible.

The look of worry in her eyes shattered his heart. In all his life, when he had voluntarily gone searching for it, he had not found it. Yet, here it was, coming from an unlikely source. How could he be so blind?

He heard it. He heard nothing but pure love coming from her for him. His eyes filled with tears at how she avoiding him after their mission, of how she barely met his eye—things that were not unusual. How long had she been bottling her feelings for him? How long has she been quiet?

Did Tanjiro know? Did anyone know? Was he merely imagining things?

He was scared to go up to her and ask her, but maybe, that was where the problem was. Why was he scared? Was she so scary? He watched as she treated her own wound, quietly, and he thought to himself, how can she love someone like me?

When he was about to walk out of the room, feeling foolish and guilt-ridden, he bumped into Nezuko. His usual reaction when he saw her would be a shout of admiration and several attempts to ask her to marry him in the future, but Nezuko shook her head. Zenitsu’s eyes widened. 

     “Y-You knew?” 

Nezuko closed her eyes and it was because of the muzzle did Zenitsu realize she was smiling. She nodded a couple of times before her eyes grew soft.

     “Was it... Was it for long?”

Nezuko nodded once more, confirming his suspicions. His eyes hardened, and he clenched his fists by his side.

     “I... I was rude to her, wasn’t I? I said mean things... She heard them, didn’t she? That’s why... That’s why she—”He didn’t realize he was sobbing then when Nezuko quietly placed a hand on his shoulder. 

With the way she looked at him right then, it answered every question he had. (y/n) knew of his reservations against her, she knew he didn’t feel the same way for her, and she also knew it was entirely one-sided. Nezuko grumbled once before walking away, leaving him to his thoughts. 

When he was alone, he thought of so many things he believed his mind would blow up. 

Did she think she was unattractive? 

Did she love him because of something he did? 

Did he showcase how cool he was (when he really wasn’t)? 

Has he ever done that? 

He shut his eyes when he realized that he had been nothing but himself and somehow, (y/n) had thought that was enough. He never tried to impress her, he never tried too hard with her and yet, she had given him such worried eyes when his life was in danger. She had gotten hurt for him, and saved his life—not once had she complained how much of a coward he was.

Zenitsu started to think of the consequences of his words. What had they made her feel? Are his words the reason why she barely speaks to him? 

The next morning, Inosuke returned to the butterfly mansion. Tanjiro was the first to greet him, and (y/n) greeted them both, a smile on her face—a sight that made Zenitsu’s heart burn. He noticed how she waved at Inosuke who waved back even fiercely as if it were a competition. He watched how she patted Nezuko’s head a couple of times (when they were inside), smiling at her. He watched how she conversed with Tanjiro, about something he couldn’t exactly hear. All he could hear was her sound—a soft, warm and loving sound, reserved just for him.

He believed he didn’t deserve her. He had caused her so much pain, he didn’t deserve what he had made her feel. She deserved someone who wouldn’t ever say such mean things, she deserved someone who wasn’t a coward. She simply deserved someone better. 

At that second, his sparrow started to chirp. (y/n)’s crow flew overhead and yelled.

     “Zenitsu Agatsuma! (y/n) (s/n)! Mission! Mission!”

(y/n) turned with wide eyes to spot Zenitsu already looking at her. Her face reddened slightly before she blinked a couple of times and turned away, and his heart hurt. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t seen it before. He couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed how cute she was when she was hiding her feelings. 

Did he even have the right to think she was cute?

The two gathered their things and Zenitsu watched as she gave Nezuko a hug and waved at Tanjiro and Inosuke (who once again thought it was a competition) and headed out of the mansion with Zenitsu.

     “(y/n)—”

     “I know you know,” His eyes widened at how forward her statement was. “Just... I know, okay? I know you don’t feel the same way, so please just... Don’t ever bring it up. I regret it enough as it is. I know.”

He was shocked. What could he say to that? He not only heard the sound of how anguished she was at that second, but he also heard insecurity, doubt, and such pure adoration. What could he say to her that would help ease this situation? That he loved her? He couldn’t lie. He knew he didn’t. It couldn’t just come out of nowhere, right?

     “It’s dark out. There are wisteria trees all over. We should rest and make our way as soon as the light’s out.” Zenitsu said, not in the same fearful way. 

She nodded before looking for a spot to set up camp for the night. 

     “Can you make a fire?” She asked, after a bit, stunning him. He turned to her with wide eyes and stared at her, not having heard the words she had said. 

He was just looking at her face and perhaps, that was why he was so lost. She snapped her fingers twice in front of his face before alerting him again.

     “Zenitsu! Can you make a fire?”

     “Y-Yes! I can. I definitely can.”

She gave him a funny look before finding a few pieces of wood that they can use. 

     “Shinobu-san gave me these,” She showed him pieces of dried mackerel that would be their dinner. “They’re very handy during missions.”

Zenitsu watched her. She handed him a couple before taking a bite of it herself, sitting in absolute silence. He could hear the sounds of the forest, the light buzz that filled the air. 

     “...why me?” He asked, a mere whisper, but she had heard it.

     “So you really won’t let it go, huh?” She asked, bitterly.

     “No! I m-mean, I don’t mean it in a bad way... I just—”

     “You can’t believe someone as heartless as me can love someone? Is that it?” She asked, frowning.

He could hear the pain in her voice. He almost winced.

     “(y/n)-chan, I never knew.”

     “I know—”

     “I don’t think you’re heartless. I was an idiot to have assumed you were intimidating, but you’re nothing close. You were just hurt, you were—”

     “Spare me your redemption, Zenitsu. I don’t want you to pity me just because you now know I’m in love with you!”

Both their eyes widened at her outburst. Zenitsu stared into her face, her eyes stuck to his—they were sitting in front of one another. He reached forward, attempting to touch her face, but she grabbed his hand before he even neared her.

     “Please...” Her grip tightened around his wrist. “Please, don’t.”

His eyes softened at how she was right then. He twisted his hand, the one she was holding, and held her hand. He pulled her closer to him a bit before resting his forehead on hers. 

     “I am so sorry for hurting you, (y/n)-chan. I am so sorry. I can never take back what I said, but please. I don’t mean any of it. Nothing can excuse my behavior. I am so—”

He felt her close her eyes and lean against his touch, but she froze the second she realized she was doing so. Her eyes shot open wide, before recoiling away from Zenitsu, as if she did something wrong. Her face was red, her lips were quivering and she looked agitated.

     “I-Is something wrong?” Zenitsu asked, confused.

     “You don’t feel the same way, so please don’t show me such kindness. I know you like Nezuko-chan, I... Don’t worry about me.” 

With that, their conversation ended for the night. The next morning, their mission began. They were to investigate missing children in a small village, and as soon as they stepped inside the village, both (y/n) and Zenitsu knew there was a morbid presence in the air. 

     “I don’t like this... I don’t like this at all.” Zenitsu grumbled, easing himself around her.

(y/n) could feel the difference between their last mission and now. Zenitsu was talking to her more freely, and she found herself laughing at a few antics of his. He was currently walking right behind him, almost pressing himself to her, not wanting to continue in the mission at all.

     “Zenitsu—”

     “Please protect me, (y/n)-chan! I don’t want to die! I have so much to live for—”

     “Zenitsu, calm down!” She whisper-yelled, before pointing to a strange bucket behind a wall.

Stepping a few steps closer, both of them knew that the bucket was the source. It was placed under the shadow of a wall, beside which resided a tree. When the sun went down, the tree’s shadow would fall on the bucket, permanently shielding it from the sun’s light—until it turned dark. 

     “It can’t be this easy, right?” She asked, tilting her head a bit.

     “Huh?! What do you mean it can’t be this easy?! What’s your problem if it is easy?! Why do you want it to be difficult?!”

She chuckled before turning to him with a mean smile, “Don’t you want to protect me from the big bad mean demon?”

Perhaps, it was the way she said it that snapped him out of his reverie. Holding her hands in his, Zenitsu stared deeply into her eyes.

     “How had I not noticed this till now? You’re all I want to protect.”

Her eyes widened before she pulled her hands away from him, clearing her throat and coughing a few times. Zenitsu was still looking at her, earnestly and rather sharply, not looking away. 

     “Cut it out. We can’t do anything about this until the demon comes out. We can’t be sure. So we wait.”

He didn’t say a word. The sun went down slowly, and despite being in the village, it was only (y/n) who went around asking about the missing children. It wasn’t the work of a very strong demon, this much she could deduce, but a demon that preyed only on little children was worse than others; it fed on the innocence of children. It angered her more than anything else.

The two were currently sitting on a bench, eating onigiri that Zenitsu had packed with them a day before. It was near sundown, so there was not much time left before the demon would show. With his sharp sense of hearing and her strong sense of feeling a demon’s presence, they knew that they could take down the demon easily. However, the wordless silence between them was what was causing them distress. 

Zenitsu turned and watched (y/n) eat her onigiri quietly, not saying a word. He watched how her (h/c) hair sat on her head, he saw how lost in thought her (e/c) eyes were, and he watched her movements—the way she held the onigiri and the way she chewed; just watching her sent him into a lull, it was a strange and happy feeling, and he found himself smiling. How had he not noticed how beautiful she was? Why did it take her falling in love with him for him to even notice? She was so unapologetic about her feelings for him, isn’t that what he had always wanted?

Here was a woman who admitted she loved him but didn’t pursue him. He was certain that it was because of what he said that she felt insecure, and if he hadn’t said those mean things perhaps, she might have made a move? Oh, just the mere thought of her confessing to him drove him against the wall; he’d die if it happened, and what a happy death that would be!

     “(y/n)-chan,” Zenitsu let out, his voice calm and serious. It alerted her in the same way a demon would have, sending shivers down her spine. “I was blind, but not anymore.”

He looked up at her and smiled warmly, the sunset behind him wasn’t helping her case. Her heart was beating rapidly and her wide eyes were stuck to his form. 

     “What...” She let out breathily.

     “It’s not Nezuko-chan,” He said, before standing up. The sun had gone down now, but the light still remained. “It never was.”

     “What are you...” 

     “Don’t regret it, (y/n)-chan. Please, don’t. I won’t let you regret what you feel for me.”

She felt her throat go dry. There was no way. He didn’t like her. There was no way he could suddenly start feeling things just because he knew she loved him. This was merely pity. This was merely a weird response. She didn’t want him coming to her just because he was lonely.

     “And it’s not any of those things,” Zenitsu said, offering her a hand. “And I only ask that you allow me to show you.”

Allow him to show her? Show her what? Tears filled her eyes but she blinked them away. She placed her hand in his and she felt him help her up, their forms near one another, Zenitsu’s smile sitting on his face as if he was looking at the sun. No one had loved him as she had. No one could. He could hear the sounds she produced, the sounds meant only for him, and he knew it—this was all he was searching for his entire life. 

When the sun went down, Zenitsu approached the bucket as if it was nothing. (y/n) couldn’t believe the sudden change in demeanor, but she didn’t say a word. There resided hope in her heart now, and she was far too afraid to lose it. In one tap of his sword against the bucket, the demon jumped out, ready to grab him—but it took him merely a second to kill it. She had never seen him fight before, never seen him use his Breath of Lightning; it was so quick, it was as if it never happened. 

     “That was...” It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

Zenitsu turned to her and grinned. 

     “I think I’m falling in love with all of you, (y/n)-chan. Please let me show you.”

She pressed her hand to her mouth as he walked closer to her. Zenitsu’s hand went to hers, which was on her mouth, and he placed his forehead on hers. Their breaths collided and he could hear all of the sounds her body was producing. It was the most harmonious he had ever felt. 

     “You’re just... You can’t... How can you fall in love with someone so quickly?”

He placed his hand on her cheek before pressing his nose to her face. She blushed vividly, before shutting her eyes. His hand, which was on hers, went to her waist now and he brought her closer. She grabbed the front of his haori, her eyes closed the entire time.

     “All I had to do was look at you, and I was a goner.” 

     “You’re such a dork—”

     “You’re so beautiful.”

She bit her bottom lip. She needed to ask him this before continuing. She needed this confirmed.

     “You said... You said you’d never ask me to marry you... Now you’re saying—”

     “When I asked all those girls to marry me, I expected a no. I might not have looked like I was expecting them to say no, but deep down I knew it wasn’t possible. With you, I have hope. And I’m not going to ask you for anything until I prove to you how much I do love you.”

     “What are they doing?” 

Zenitsu and (y/n)’s eyes widened instantly before they pulled away from each other. They noticed four kids watching them intently, before they scurried away with their red faces, out of the village. (y/n)’s crow was not approaching them, and it was nowhere to be found, so they simply intended on heading back to the butterfly mansion. On the way, they stopped by the wisteria trees, where they had camped the night before. 

     “(y/n)-chan~” Zenitsu whined before sticking to her.

She put her hand to his face and pushed him away, her blush intensifying.

     “I-I didn’t say anything yet—”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him, both of them tumbling on the ground. She was laying on him now, her eyes wide. He swung an arm around her and held her there, a satisfied smile on his face.

     “Zenitsu—”

     “I love you.”

Her face turned red and she buried it in his haori, not intending on seeing his face anytime soon.

     “When are you going to let go of me—”

     “I love you~”

She groaned. This was going to take a while. 

#zenitsu agatsuma #zenitsuagatsuma #zenitsu x reader #zenitsu agatsuma x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #kny #kamada tanjiro #nezuko #kamado nezuko #inosuke #inosuke hashiriba #zenitsu #zenitsu imagine #zenitsu fic #breath of lightning #kaminari no kokyu #ichi no kata

[schrijverr]

A Familiar Face

Martin is a fan of Jons band, the Mechanisms. He goes to a lot of their shows and Jon knows his face. They come face to face at work, Jon recognized Martin from the crowds, but Martin does not make the connection. 

On AO3.

Ships: JonMartin

Warnings: none, really, but if you want me to tag something just send an ask or something and I will do so without question!

~~~~~~~~~~

During his days at university Jon had been in a band called the Mechanisms. They were pretty successful and had a dedicated audience that would come to their gigs. There were a few faces he had come to recognize throughout the years of fans that turned up time and time again.

He liked knowing the regular faces. It made him feel better, knowing that people liked what they did enough to come time and time again, that people didn’t come to a show and then abandoned it, finding it wasn’t for them after all.

What he hadn’t expected was to see one of those familiar faces at his workplace.

The man in front of him was one of the faces he knew best. He had been there since one of their very first performances, he always stayed in the back and never came up to them after shows, but he was always there.

Jon had started looking for him in the audience, making sure to make at least a comment or gesture in his direction whenever he could. (He also might have a small crush on the man, but he couldn’t help it. He was tall and soft and his smile was adorably radiant.)

But now he was standing in front of him in a completely different setting, where Jonathan was just Jon not Jonny. He didn’t have that bravado in real life nor the confidence. He also didn’t want that part of him known at work, he had just gotten a promotion and he had worked for that. He didn’t want anyone to see him as unprofessional.

This is all backstory to explain why he didn’t say anything, but instead just looked at the other. The man shuffled awkwardly and stuck out his hand as he said: “I, uhm, I’m Martin, Martin Blackwood. I’m one of the assistants assigned here. It’s nice to meet you.”

Snapping out of it, Jon introduced himself as well: “I’m Jonathan Sims, the archivist. Pleasure.”

Martin, as he now knew the man was called, didn’t seem to recognize him and he was glad for it. On one hand he wanted to get to know the Martin, but keeping him at a distance so that he would never make the connection was a very tempting possibility.

He did the latter.

He knew it was the cowardly choice, but he had soon realized that although Tim was a good worker, he also lived to tease Jon and Jon could not just hand him that ammunition. But it was also hard to keep Martin at a distance. He was naturally caring and friendly, always ready for some chattering or making Jon some tea.

Yes, Martin made it very hard to not love him.

Still, Jon tried. He didn’t know when it had become so important none of his assistants made the connection between him and his musical past, but it was and Martin would be the first to do it. This was why Jon had started to actively try to push him away.

Jon wasn’t dumb. He knew Martin didn’t deserve it, but Jon had never claimed he wasn’t stupid. He had convinced himself this was the best course of action. He wasn’t someone anyone would love and letting Martin make the connection would only end in heartbreak for him and disappointment for Martin.

Martin liked the Mechanisms, he liked Jonny d’Ville.

Not Jon.

Jon was nothing like Jonny d’Ville. No, pushing him away was better for the both of them.

He kept believing that for a long time, but then Martin disappeared. Martin texted him he was sick with stomach issues and Jon believed him of course, but that didn’t stop the unease from crawling up his spine as the days turned into weeks and Martin still wasn’t back.

He blew up Martins phone with messages, hoping the other wouldn’t mind and Sasha and Tim would never find out. He also lashed out more at Martin, to release stress and hide the worry he felt. Not excusable, but the truth.

Then Martin returned and Jon felt sick as he gave his statement. Martin, kind and sweet Martin, who never got mad at anyone, had been stuck inside while he got attacked and no one had noticed.

Jon wanted to invite him to stay with him, safe and far away from anything paranormal that was hunting him, but that would be a dead give away with all the Mechs stuff there and highly unprofessional, so instead he just offered him a place in the archives.

Martin seemed so relieved he believed him, telling him about the worm he had taken with him to show to Jon he wasn’t lying. Jon had to swallow at that, the fact that Martin had put himself in extra danger just to prove to him he wasn’t a liar. So, Jon resolved to do better.

It was after a few months since Martin had returned from the siege on his flat. He had been living in the archives not really leaving the safety of the walls, but Jon knew he’d leave this weekend. He knew, because he was going to perform with his band this weekend nearby.

He was sure Martin wouldn’t miss it and he hoped he would have a good night, he deserved it, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t terrified that after being in close proximity with Jon for so long would make it easier to make the connection.

He stood backstage in full get up, peering through the curtain into the audience in search of a familiar face. From behind him Jessica asked: “Who are you looking for, Jonny?”

He startled and looked around. Then he blushed and admitted: “Uhm, Martin, a coworker.”

Getting some questions about Martin, he hurriedly said: “Oh no, he doesn’t know it’s me, or if he has he hasn’t said. We’ve seen him before, he’s almost always there. He’s the tall one, with the light brown hair and the nice smile? I don’t want him to make the connection, but he’s been having it rough lately, so I hoped I’d see him here and I could rest knowing he at least had one fun thing.”

“Ahw, does little Jonny have a crush.” Tim teased him.

Jon blushed some more and told him to shut up. Then it was time to go one stage and he didn’t have time to look again as he started the show:

“Like whiskey laced with gasoline, we’ll get you stinking drunk So shut your face and settle down, you sneering little punks For space is vast and you are small, it’s black and bitter cold The book is lying open. There are tales to be told.”

It was only when they were partway through Once Upon a Time (In Space) he managed to locate Martin in the crowd. He was in the back like usual and although he looked more tired than normal, his smile was as bright as Jon remembered it.

The show went on and Jon couldn’t help his gaze from gliding over to Martin. He was clapping along and having a good time. Once Jon made direct eye contact with him and winked. He was silently a bit mortified at the gesture, but he thought he saw Martin blush and smile wider, which made it worth the embarrassment.

His fellow Mechs noticed how he was mostly focused on the one corner, but none made fun of him, mostly. At one point he didn’t fill a silence between the works in favor of checking up on Martin and Tim ribbed: “The corner interesting, Jonny?”

He shot him a glare and gave him the finger as he told him: “Fuck off, I was just speechless by the ugliness of these people. I mean, really? Even you’re pretty in comparison and that is saying a lot.”

Falling back into his character and paying more attention to the flow of the show.

After what felt like a week that passed in a second the show was over and the band went backstage to take a breather, before returning to mingle with the audience. Jon talked to people left and right, just enjoying the feeling that came with a good show.

What he hadn’t expected was to come face to face with Martin. As stated before, Martin usually stayed in the background and never came over after a show, normally choosing to leave right away.

Jon didn’t know what to say, just blinking stupidly at Martin for a second. When he realized how awkward it was he quickly smiled and said: “You stayed! Sorry, I recognize you, you’ve been to a lot of the shows, but you never stayed, so I was kind of surprised. Apologies.”

Martin blushed: “Oh, sorry. I didn’t think, you’d seen me. I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“Oh, it wasn’t at all. You’re not required to stay.” Jon said, it was clear that Martin had not recognized him yet and to keep it that way he stayed as far away from how he was at work. Besides, this was the perfect opportunity to just talk to Martin, no history or barriers.

“Ah, okay, thank you.” Martin replied, “I never had the time, but I just had to be outside tonight just all bad right now, sorry, no need to say that. Anyway, I thought why not come over, you know?”

“I hope we were a suitable distraction.” Jon told him.

“You were.” Martin said warmly, “It was a great show, like usually of course, but somehow you’re better each time. I had a lot of fun, thank you.”

“And thank you. I’m glad.” Jon smiled at him, his cheeks were hurting a bit, but he would keep smiling to make Martin happy and comfortable.

It was silent between them then and Martin blushed: “I, uh, I never thought of what to say when I actually worked up to courage to come over.”

“That’s alright.” Jon said, before he realized he wasn’t good at small talk at all, the only starter he had was asking about someones job and he knew that wouldn’t be smart. He floundered for a second, then said: “I could introduce you to the others. We’re just drinking a pint at the bar right now.”

He immediately face palmed internally. He hoped none of the others would throw him under the bus and ruin this as he lead Martin over to them.

When they got there he said: “Hello, this is, uhm, sorry never got your name.”

“Martin.” Martin told him.

Jon nodded and repeated: “Martin, yes. He’s a fan of ours and has had it bad as of late and needs a drink.”

He guided Martin to a seat as the others introduced themselves. Ben, god bless his soul, shot him a questioning brow and Jon shook his head behind Martins head, indicating Martin had not realized. The others saw and decided to have mercy on him as they drank their pint in peace, just chattering among themselves and with Martin.

It was a good night and Jon just knew that this would keep him going for weeks and help him sleep when the unease and stress got to be too much. Martin seemed happy as well, which was a good sign. Martin deserved something nice right now.

At work that Monday, Jon overheard Martin and Tim chatting in the break room when he walked past on his way to get a statement. Tim asked: “So how was your weekend? Not too lonely in here, I hope.”

“Not at all.” Martin said and you could hear the smile in his voice, “I went to see a band, the Mechanisms. They’re not household names and not everyones taste, but I like them and it was a good show. I actually drank a pint with them after the show and they were lovely people.”

“Good to hear, man.” Tim said.

“Yeah.” Martin replied.

Jon didn’t hear what was said next, because Sasha came round the corner and Jon hurried off to avoid suspicion.

It wasn’t really mentioned again after that. Jon could sometimes hear Martin hum a familiar tune under his breath or hear his own voice float down the halls when he left or came into work.

But a lot happened, they got attacked by worms, found Gertrude's body and Jon went down a path of paranoia his relationships and mental health never really recovered from. He and the Mechs rarely did gigs anymore and after Sasha was revealed to be not Sasha and he has to flee from the law he decided that enough was enough. He’s had enough stress as it is.

Which is why, a month after his name was cleared, he returned to the stage for one final performance: Death To The Mechanisms.

It’s bittersweet, the end to an era of innocence and fun that Jon is no longer allowed to take part in, not with everything that has happened, will happen. He has to give everyone who supported him and his friends a good ending, they deserved that much at least.

He’s mostly lucky his face wasn’t splattered all over the news, since the police didn’t want any questions about The Magnus Institute.

The venue is packed with excited and sad fans, who have come to wave their band of immortal space pirates goodbye once and for all. Jon is looking from behind the curtain as Reesha played. He was supposed to introduce her, but he had chickened out and asked Tim to do it instead.

The past years hadn’t been kind to him. His body was littered with scars, his hair had gotten even more grey and the bags under his eyes were larger than the eyes themselves. He hoped none of the fans would notice too much or had any questions, god knew the other Mechs had had them when they got together to write the ending.

He had managed to avoid most of them, telling them that his new job was kind of strange and when he has asked them to just drop it, they had.

Reesha was now almost done and the Mechs had to go on stage. Jon tried to loosen his shoulders and clear his mind. He could stop thinking for a moment, stop being Jon with the stupidly hard life and just be Jonny, who let the punches wash over him like it was nothing. Taking a deep breath, he opened his eyes and stepped onto the stage.

Trying not to look at the crowd he slipped into his character as he started counting if everyone was there. He didn’t need to see the questions in their eyes or the nervousness it would give him. He was glad they’d chosen The Bifrost Incident to perform, since he didn’t have a big singing roll in it.

During the break he checked the comments on the livestream. The not knowing was more torturous than what anyone might have to say about him. He let out a relieved sigh when most thought it was makeup that had something to do with his death. That was good, they didn’t question it so far and when they would start he’d be already off the stage and far away.

He was more confidant after that and walked onto the stage with renewed energy, which would be needed if he were to preform Hellfire for example.

It was all going well so far. Jon was happy with their performance and the fans seemed to love it. When he started with his own death, he saw surprised and concerned faces that it has nothing to do with the scars they had presumed were makeup, but this was something special that they’d been waiting for, so when he moved on the Ashes, so did the crowd.

But they went out with a bang and it wasn’t until they’re waving their last goodbye to everyone, who had supported them so much that he spotted Martin in the back of the crowd. He had honestly forgotten he was a fan of the Mechs with everything that had been going on, but as their eyes met over the crowd he saw Martin mouth: “Jon?”

He winced and looked away, before he fled from the scene, saying a quick goodbye to people he knew he wouldn’t see again from the moment he hadn’t trusted them enough to go to after he was framed. He didn’t want to drag them into this anyway and he’d rather they believe him an asshole than that they’d be dead.

Jon feared the confrontation that would come with Martin when he’d come into work the next time, but alas there wasn’t a next time for a while. He got kidnapped and then there wasn’t time and, who was Martin to seek a fight with a comatose man.

By the time he had woke up, Martin was in the clutches of the Lonely, but unknowingly to Jon, he still had his voice to keep him company on old albums.

In fact the whole thing wasn’t brought up again till they were safe in Scotland and had been for a while. When the fear of being followed or discovered had faded and they’d allowed themselves to relax. It was quite domestic, Jon had to admit, but it was what he had craved, what he had needed.

It came up again, while Jon was doing the dishes off all things. He was just drying the plates and humming under his breath, after a while he started to mumble familiar lyrics of the first couplet that turned into soft singing with the second once:

“And when the giants, they come a-rolling Well, we will fight, we will fight, fight for our boy Jack When the giants, they come a-rolling If he can slay them, so can we”

He didn’t get to move on to the next one, because Martin, who had been in the living room adjacent to the kitchen, had heard and suddenly a revelation he hadn’t taken the time to process came back to him.

Martin stumbled into the kitchen, startling Jon into dropping a plate, as he pointed his finger at him and yelled: “You were in the Mechanisms!”

With wide and fearful eyes Jon looked at him. His brain caught up with the situation and he slowly said: “Oh, yeah, I was.” he paused, “You were there, right? I assumed you knew, sorry.”

Dropping the finger Martins shoulders sagged and he said: “I did, I just hadn’t really taken the time to think about it, you know, with everything that happened after it.”

Jon winced, but Martin went on: “You talked with me for an entire night without mentioning that I knew you! God, that is so embarrassing. I totally made a fool of myself.”

He was blushing with the accusation and Jon winced again, then he reassured Martin: “You didn’t, it was cute.”

“Cute?” Martin exclaimed, bordering on hysterical.

“Yes,” Jon said, “it felt really nice to just talk to you without the whole thing at work and you’re really cute when you’re excited. Besides, you deserved to have one nice thing that wasn’t touched by work. I wasn’t about to ruin that for you.”

“But you hated me back then.” Martin stated, totally confused.

Jon rubbed the back of his head and twisted his fingers. He bit his lip as well and opened his mouth to start a sentence, but then didn’t dare and stopped. Martin saw this, picking up every clue of a nervous Jon, who wanted to say something, but also didn’t. He put his hand on his hip and said: “Spit it out, Jon. I know you want to and I want to know. Please?”

It was the please that did it, Jon was weak for that please, so he admitted: “I never hated you.”

“You didn’t?” Martin asked.

Jon shook his head and explained: “No, I, uhm, I recognized you the moment we met in the archives and I was scared you would tell the other and find out and ruin my reputation of professionalism along with giving Tim teasing material for years, so I tried to push you away, but you’re too nice to push me away and I had a crush on you that I had to hide and the only way I could manage to get that under control was to push you away. Sorry, I’m so sorry about that, Martin.”

Martin was silent for a moment, then he softly stated: “You had a crush on me.”

A scarlet blush went over Jons dark features as he realized he had admitted that. He swallowed and nodded: “Yes, I’d see you in the back and you caught my eye. I, uhm, I never dared to try and talk to you and you were almost always gone by the time I had the chance, so I nothing ever happened. I was pretty surprised to see you suddenly in front of me at work.”

“I can imagine that.” Martin chuckled, a small happy bubble forming in his chest when he realized he wasn’t the only one, who had walked around for too long with a silly crush. He shook his head and said: “I still can’t wrap my head around the fact you’re Jonny d’Ville.”

Jon blushed some more and groaned slightly in embarrassment as he buried his head in Martins chest. They stood like that for a moment, in each others arms. Then Martin kissed his head and asked: “Can you sing something for me?”

Looking up, Jon didn’t have to think twice about agreeing. He’d do anything for Martin and something as simple as just singing something, which would remind him of better times, wasn’t really a sacrifice.

“What do you want me to sing?” he asked.

Without hesitating Martin answered: “The part where you come in in Sleeping Beauty. I always loved that part, I thought it was very funny how you just went straight over the sad song.”

Jon smiled at that, he liked that part as well. He untangled himself from Martin and took a deep breath:

“Take Aurora in gently, Nastya, let’s see what these Rosies can do Gotta say I’m in the mood for violence and I reckon you might be too Let’s get this party started the only way we know Gunfire and explosions, that’s our cue

Fire ‘til your guns are empty, ‘til your ammunition runs dry If you’re finished playing at soldiers you might have noticed we cannot die I suggest you beat a fucking tactical retreat Or we’ll let slip the dogs of war and havoc cry”

Martin clapped in his head excitedly. He smiled broadly and he said: “It’s just like in the shows.” then more bashfully he asked: “Would you mind singing some more? Or is it making you uncomfortable? It’s alright if you don’t want to.” Jon gave him a soft and warm smile and answered: “I would sing for you even, if the world ends if that would make you happy.”

And that promise he kept. Even if there was only despair around them, he would hum and sing softly to remind Martin he was here and he was real and they would make it.

#RR writing #jon sims #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #martin x jon #jonmartin #jonathan sims x martin blackwood #the magnus archives #the magnus pod #tma #tma the mechanisms #jarchevist was a mechs #martin blackwood is a mechs fan

[oldsoldierr]

The Carnation ~ Part 2

summary: the media always told you that the famous art critic bucky barnes is an arrogant, rude playboy and you agree, but something still draws you to him. is there a deeper reason to why he acts the way he does or is he the class A jackass you first met?

art critic!bucky x artist!reader

word count: about 2.1k

series masterlist ~ part 1

After your startling realization that you just might have a crush on a certain Bucky Barnes, you tried your best to just ignore it. You told yourself that your feelings would go away after not seeing him for the rest of your life. You just assumed that after he left that day it would be the end of it. 

But then he did the worst thing you could’ve possibly imagined. He came back to the studio. Everyday in fact. You had never known someone so frustrating. 

Every day he’d come in, insult something, and sit on whichever side of you wasn’t occupied by Steve. Bucky would just sit there annoying you for however long he was there, occasionally walking over to Sharon’s area or making conversation with Steve. How did this busy man always find time to be the worst?

One time after a particularly rough day, you complained, “Why won’t you just sit by Steve?” He just smiled at you innocently.

“Well, how’m I supposed to bother you when you’re a whole seat away from me?” You stared at him blankly for a good 5 minutes. You lost 12 brain cells that day.

You decided you’d need a new plan once you realized he actually wasn’t going anywhere. After considering hiring some pest patrol or just hitting him with a brush you decided on just trying to avoid him.

It’s too bad that it was near impossible because, not only did he insist on moving seats to wherever you moved, but after a couple of weeks of Bucky coming to the art studio, Steve had to leave town for some business meetings.

“It’s gonna be fine!” Steve insisted. 

Your car reached the airport.

“You guys know each other well enough to be by yourselves for two weeks.”

“I do not! We’re barely acquaintances! All he does in the studio is bother me or flirt,” you retorted. “I legitimately don’t think he’s picked one pencil up since he first started coming.”

“That’s not true! He picked up a pencil once to throw it at you,” he pointed out. You barked out a laugh.

“Really helping your case here,” you said sarcastically.

“Hey,” Steve looked at you and squeezed your shoulder reassuringly. “It’s gonna be okay.” You took a deep breath.

“I really hope so.” You gave the blonde a nervous smile. 

“Anyways, I don’t matter right now. Go be amazing at your meeting and when you get the client you have to give me half the money!” You changed the subject.

“Fuck no!” Steve laughed. You continued to chat as you parked the car and began helping Steve get out his luggage. With each second the realization that you weren’t going to see Steve for 14 days hit you harder. Once his suitcases were all out you gave him a bittersweet look.

“I’m really gonna miss you.” You engulfed him in a hug. He hugged back.

“It’s only for two weeks and I’ll call you,” he soothed. You pulled away and rocked back and forth on your heels.

“You promise?” The blonde chuckled.

“Mhm, I’ll even pinky promise,” he said with a teasing smile. You gave him a faux pout.

“You’re mean. I change my mind. I’m not gonna miss you.” You jokingly walked away but you knew you were only trying to delay him leaving. Steve caught on.

“Well, I gotta go now y/n/n,” he said. You sighed.

“I know…” You acknowledged sadly but didn’t show your true emotions for long.

“Good luck! Go kick ass!” You continued with forced excitement.

He put his hands on each side of your shoulders. 

“It’s really gonna be okay,” he assured. He turned around and started walking to the airport.

You nodded as Steve left. But your smile dropped as soon as you were out of his view. Steve had been your only friend since you moved to Brooklyn and had never been without him this long. You massaged the bridge of your nose.

How the fuck am I gonna survive this?

~~~

If you’re being honest, your drive back was rather depressing. You didn’t even bother turning on the radio. You just drove with a tight expression on your face trying to make your anxieties go away, but they just wouldn’t stop. Your brain was pounding. 

You had sulk-driven in silence around a third of the way back without even noticing. That’s when you felt your phone vibrate and the familiar chiming ringtone of a call. 

You glanced down quickly at the screen to see an unknown number. You thought about just ignoring it since you got spam often and you know, you were driving. It probably would’ve been the wiser thing to do but you were bored and miserable so you thought, what the hell. You heard the beep as you pressed the accept call button.

“Hello?” You half expected to get an automated message telling you that you had won an amazon gift card and that you needed to tell them your credit card number immediately. Instead, it was a rich, deep voice you had heard far too many times before.

“Hey y/n,” Your eyes widened so much you were afraid they might fall out.

“Bucky?” you choked out. You could practically see his smug little face.

“Yes ma’am,” he replied obediently. There was an unending amount of thoughts swirling through your head faster than you could calculate. The first question that entered your mind was, “How did you get this number?” Something rustled from the other end before bucky responded.

“I hacked into your phone and took it,” He said sarcastically. You raised your eyebrows.

“Haha, very funny. But seriously, did Steve give it to you?” Bucky hesitated and answered.

“Yeah.--” He selected his words with caution. “--...he thought you might need some company.” From the deliberate phrasing he chose, you deduced that Steve had told him about you being a lonely fuck. You internally groaned.

“S’ one way to put it,” you mumbled.  “Thank you for your consideration but I don’t feel like being pitied right now.” Bucky fake laughed.

“Like I’d ever pity you,” he said like it was a hilarious joke. 

“It’s more babysitting.” You suddenly remembered you were talking to Bucky Barnes and bit your lip in exasperation. 

“Fuck you, Bucky,” you snapped back. You knew you had made a mistake far too late.

“Only if you want me too,” he sang back, overjoyed at the opportunity to make the joke.

You threatened, “I will hang up your ass faster than you can say pumpkin pie is the worst pie.” The brunette fucking laughed.

“Mmm, so first of all, it’s not, it’s the best thing on earth, and second, then why haven’t you hung up yet?” You didn’t really have an answer to give him that wasn’t “I love your voice and I want to kiss you”. You swiftly came up with an excuse.

“Cause I need to drive idiot.”

More noise erupted from Bucky’s side. Your eyes narrowed, confused.

“Where are you right now? It sounds like a zoo on your end.” You heard the brunette talking to someone before he returned to you.

“Hmm? Oh, I’m at an art museum.” You scrunched your brows together. What’s he doing at an art museum at 11:30pm? You wondered. You felt like you had heard something about this before, but couldn’t put your finger on it. Another couple seconds of idle insults were held between the two of you. Then, as if to answer you you hear someone distantly say, “Thank you for coming to the Party in the Garden, please take a…” You gasp. That’s what you were trying to remember! 

“You’re at the fucking biggest MoMA fundraiser of the year and you’re talking to me? You’re so much dumber than I thought you were.” This man was truly unbelievable. But you had to admit it did feel nice that he was blowing off the party for you. 

“There are some really important people there, what are you doing on your phone?” you scolded. He hummed in response.

“In my defense, it’s kind of your fault I’m on my phone.” Bucky pointed out.

“I-- wh-” you stuttered at this guy’s nerve. “How is it my fault? You called me!”

“Yeah cause you don’t have any friends. That’s why Steve made me call you, right?” Bucky sneered. From his tone, it seemed like he realized how much that hurt you. This fucking man. Your voice rose.

“Oh, I don’t have any friends? Like you can talk, the person with only fake friends.” You said defensively. “None of them actually like you, they like your status, you know,”  You snapped in return. By his silence, clearly you had struck a chord with him. This conversation went from 1 to 100 real quick. He grunted.

“At least I even have fake friends. Do YOU have any? Oh that's right, you don’t, you’re all. fucking. Alone. And I don’t doubt for a minute that you deserve it,” he bit back. Oh, he was gonna be like that. You scoffed before going off.

“Oh I deserve it? Look at yourself. You always pretend you’re the best, walk around like you're royalty. Well, I’ve seen how you really are, you aren’t worth a damn thing.” Bucky went to interrupt but you weren’t done. “You’re an insecure, cowardly bitch who insults others to make yourself feel better about yourself. Do you wanna know what people say behind your back? They say you’re annoying and arrogant. A selfish ass playboy who doesn’t deserve a fucking thing he gets, goddamn cuck,” You exploded, taking a deep breath. 

There were so many emotions rocking around your head it was getting hard to think clearly. Cars beeped at you as you began to drift. The phone was silent before Bucky spoke again. It was surprisingly quiet and vulnerable.

“That’s what you think?” You realized what you had said.

“I-- no-I didn’t--” This time he cut you off.

“It’s fine,” he replied sharply. “I understand--” He let out a breath. 

“I won’t bother you again.” 

“No, wait--!” With a loud beep, the line went dead. 

You groaned. 

Shit. 

You hit your hand on the dashboard. 

Stupid, stupid, you scolded yourself.

You tried to make excuses for saying those things but you couldn’t. Most of them weren’t even true. You felt like a monster.  You yelled in frustration. You couldn’t even call anyone to talk about it. Steve was on a plane and your other friends were asleep in your hometown. You wished you had never answered that call. You wished you hadn’t been such an idiot. 

The rest of the ride back felt even colder than it had beforehand. The busy city of Brooklyn passed you by. The lights and the noise you had dreamed about as a kid felt dull and melancholic. 

Fuck the American dream. 

You arrived at your apartment around an hour later. You pulled up in front of the building and walked up to your floor like there was a pile of bricks on your back. You fiddled with your keys before finding the right one and walked inside your apartment. You collapsed onto the couch and screamed into a cushion. 

I should call him back and apologize, you thought. But from the little time you spent with Bucky Barnes, you knew he didn’t forgive that easily. 

How did this all go to shit so fast? Your conversation had started so nicely. Maybe even playfully flirty if you squinted.

You didn’t get a chance to wallow in your self-pity for long as your phone rang again for the second time that night. You grabbed hopefully at the phone thinking it might be Bucky, but it wasn’t. Your wishful thinking seemed it was just that cause it was another random number.

You placed it face down back on the couch and let it ring out. For half a minute the ringtone that you began to resent sang it’s melody. You didn’t have the heart to stop it though, as it went to voicemail. You were planning on completely ignoring it but your conscience wouldn’t let you. What if it was important?

You sighed as you unlocked your phone and clicked on the play button on the voicemail. As the person on the other side kept speaking, you felt like your heart was going further into your throat. You couldn’t breathe and your hands shook.

“Ms. y/l/n, this is NYU Langone Health, you need to come to the hospital as soon as possible. James Buchanan Barnes has been in an accident.”

writing this series is pretty fun but i miss going outside and seeing real people :’)

series masterlist

#bucky x reader #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #steve x reader #steve rodgers #steve rodgers x reader #steve rodgers fanfic #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky fanfic #fanfiction #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #steve rodgers x you #bucky series #marvel #marvel fanfiction #mcu #mcu fic

[punkscowardschampions]

Venus & Leilani

Venus: Hey girl! 😘😘👋 Leilani: hiya Venus: Awh 🥺😔 how you holding up? Leilani: as expected maybe Leilani: thanks Venus: Of course, so sad! 😥😥😥 Venus: I'm totally here for you, btw Leilani: that's really nice of you Venus: Gurl, of course Venus: I'm a pretty nice person Venus: only to people who deserve it, obviously 💁 Leilani: I'm honoured 😅 Venus: You totally are 🤭 Leilani: 1st exclusive club I've been a part of, for sure Venus: That's honestly even more tragic Venus: oops 🙊 you know what I mean Leilani: 😅 Leilani: yikes Leilani: the tragedies are piling up Venus: What school did you go to before? Leilani: [the name of a school, obvs not a catholic one just standard, are we saying the ruster kids go to a fancy one cos rich and now so does she or are we keeping them #humble?] Venus: [I think you in particular need to go to a standard one to humble yourself, also you aren't smart enough to get in on your own merit so] Venus: I dated a guy who went there Leilani: oh maybe I know him Venus: He was super hot but like, so uncultured Venus: he'd never left Ireland like 🥱🥱 Leilani: I wonder if it's a coincidence that all the uncultured kids go there becos me either yet Venus: WHAT 😱😱😱 Venus: aren't you like, properly African Leilani: I've never been, I was born here Venus: oh my God that's WILD Venus: bless you Leilani: bless my parents for wanting me to have a different life, I suppose Venus: I'm in Paris as often as I can because of my daddy but we go somewhere sunny practically monthly, when the school isn't being extra 🙄 Venus: it's the only reason I stick around, honestly 😂 Leilani: he's french or he just lives there? Venus: He's American, he teaches at this AMAZING college there Venus: he's lived loads of UHMAZING places but Paris is his base now and definitely the best Leilani: what kind of accent does he have? Venus: he was from some middle of nowhere town like this, but in the US Venus: so he had to get out to live his best life Leilani: sounds like he is Venus: Totally 😘😘 Venus: he's the smartest person in his field, like EVERYONE has to go to him to know what to do Venus: hence I can't live with him because he's ALWAYS working 😩 Venus: I told him I was cool with it but he's SUPER protective of me so I have to stay here 🤷 Leilani: I know what that's like, my mum was the same Leilani: protective workaholic Venus: Poor you getting thrown into this mess Venus: ugh Leilani: Grace isn't that bad 😅 Leilani: more of a workaholic maybe but less OTT protective Venus: I guess not Venus: did you know she got stood up at the altar though Venus: would you not just lay down and DIE Leilani: me & my mum were there Leilani: so yeah Venus: 🙈 cringe Venus: we were all there honey, I can't Leilani: your bridesmaids dress was gorgeous though Venus: she can enjoy those photos 💁 Leilani: I think it'll be a long time before she's looking back at the album Leilani: longer than it's been atm Venus: DUH 😂 Venus: they'll be in the 🔥 if she's got any sense Leilani: she did re-sell her dress so maybe Venus: LOL I hope she advertised it as cursed or that woman gonna be 😤 Leilani: I'm sure she worked out why it was listed once she picked it up & saw that Grace's weight hadn't dramatically gone up or down Venus: getting dumped at the altar is next-level bad juju though it's not like she just got too excited Venus: I'd be so pissed Venus: have to sage that SO HARD Leilani: I'd be happy I got a bargain Venus: yeah, nothing says happiest day of your life like that Leilani: getting into debt for it would personally ruin the mood but you know Venus: Don't have a wedding you can't afford, obvs Leilani: yeah ideally Venus: like you can't live above your station that's just basic rules of life Venus: in all areas, tbh, not just funds Venus: like look what happened Leilani: you think he was out of her league? Venus: I can't even remember what he looked like tbh Venus: but clearly the baggage was too much regardless of how fine or not fine he was Leilani: clearly he has his own issues to do something like that Venus: Doubt it Venus: he could've bounced sooner but he still did the right thing 😂 Leilani: he should've said or done what he needed to do before it got to the altar Leilani: he had time, she was planning the wedding for like a year Leilani: maybe longer Venus: whatever, he clearly felt SO trapped by the psychoness Venus: we all know what was up Leilani: what was up was that he didn't have enough balls for the convo Venus: the defence squad is so real, chill out babes Venus: it happened, she took that L, end of story Leilani: It's unfair to blame her for him wanting out & doing it in the most cowardly way is all Leilani: she didn't deserve to be treated like that Venus: that's life, babe Venus: it's not fair Venus: if she couldn't see that coming that's on her Venus: what kind of unobservant head ass person you gotta be Venus: like I'd KNOW if my man was not feeling me 🥴🥴 Leilani: I didn't know him, I can't judge it Leilani: but I didn't foresee my dad walking out & neither did my mum Venus: big YIKES 😬 Leilani: & your dad didn't think your mum would end up keeping you Leilani: some things you can't see coming or don't want to Venus: You mean her breaking a contract? Venus: yeah, it should be illegal Venus: and you don't know what my dad knew or didn't know actually Venus: she literally took advantage of the fact he wasn't legally protected and desperately wanted me Venus: like, your point? 🤷 Leilani: my point is, dragging Grace is pretty rude Venus: She's had worse happen, as you've mentioned 🥺💔 Venus: I think she'll get over it Venus: that's if you even bothered to tell her which would be so petty, honestly Leilani: you don't know what he told her or didn't or how it affected her Leilani: maybe she won't get over it Venus: 🥱 Venus: your mom literally just died, like Venus: people have real problems, you should be the one preaching that Leilani: thanks for bringing it back up, it had slipped my mind Venus: do you like, not want to talk about her ??? Leilani: atm I don't want you to talk about Grace how you are Leilani: she's the person who's in my corner, looking after me Leilani: so yeah, I've got her back & I don't care if you think it's extra Venus: I'll talk about her however I want Venus: you're grieving and I'm trying to be nice and let you talk about it, but like, catch me letting you police me and my opinion Venus: not today, not ever, honey Leilani: say whatever you like once you've gotten away from me Leilani: I'm not trying to hear it & if I do I'm not letting it pass through unchecked Venus: As if I want to be having this conversation with you right now Venus: 😬 bigger yikes Venus: catch me trying to make you welcome at school, seriously Leilani: I can settle myself in without your help Venus: yeah, your personality is like, A++ Venus: 👏 good luck with the amount of invites you'll HAVE to turn down, damn, sis Leilani: maybe it's the grief, maybe I just don't like your personality Leilani: make up your own mind Venus: I truly do not have the time to worry about you or what you're doing Venus: you continue to think up all those what-ifs though, that's cool Venus: can be your thing Leilani: next time that it slips my mind that my mother is dead, I'm sure your opinion of me will be right there at the front Venus: okay, word of advice, milking the whole sympathy thing is not going to get you far in the long run Venus: it'll get old faster than he was running the opposite way down that altar Leilani: I don't need advice from someone who's never been here Venus: 🙄 sure babes Venus: that's some USP Leilani: it's really not Leilani: there's a really big group of us Venus: So like, get over it Venus: the levels you can't get away with being a rude ass hoe just because something bad happened to you Venus: toxicity off the charts Leilani: when I do it won't be to make you feel more comfortable Leilani: the levels it's not your place to tell me how to be when we've just met Venus: I'm not the one telling you what to say though, sis, soooooo 💁 Venus: clearly not the one who's uncomfortable am I Leilani: I said I'm not going to listen to you badmouth Grace, you can take it anywhere else & I can't stop you Venus: why are you so pressed 😂 Venus: is she checking your messages to make sure you're #grateful enough Venus: damn, ok, Angelina Jolie Leilani: I like her Leilani: that's enough reason to not want to hear it Venus: Awh Venus: big love Leilani: sure thing Leilani: I'm a big joke to you, okay then Venus: if you feel you've acted a fool, that's on you Venus: I'm unphased by this mess Leilani: no, you're trying to treat me like one, it's a very different thing Leilani: I'm not entertained or entertaining it Venus: Hoe, where??? Venus: Honestly, I'm SO curious 🤔 Venus: I offered you support and a space to talk about your mom and you've just been nothing but combative, honestly Leilani: telling me to get over it isn't supportive Venus: I'm not gonna not keep it 💯 Venus: and don't twist my words or the situation Venus: I said that was how other people would feel if you came at it all with this attitude Leilani: you have no idea where my attitude is coming from becos we don't know each other like that Venus: Why would I put my time and energy on you when you treat me like that? Venus: using your past as an excuse for bad behaviours now, no ma'am Venus: not in this house Leilani: you said I'm milking the sympathy thing when you're the one assuming everything I said here is a grief reaction Leilani: maybe I'm serving you attitude becos it's deserved Venus: so you're just like this Venus: weird flex then, babe 🤷 Venus: the luck I put out there is even more warranted Venus: cuss me out for giving you the benefit of the doubt about your foolishness, chile... Leilani: the disrespect towards your own family & entitlement you have towards being that way is what's getting you cussed out Venus: and I'm the one making assumptions Venus: 😂 Venus: Grace told you some tea and you think you're in the know now Venus: 👌👌👌 keep on that hype, waste your energy Leilani: it's all been expressed in your own words, barely sentences into this convo Leilani: your assumption was that I'd be eager to join in Venus: No, honey Venus: your assumption is that I consider them to be my family Venus: and your tone policing is literally not welcome anywhere near me Leilani: they consider you to be theirs, it should be enough of a reason not to treat them how you are Leilani: hell, human decency is that Venus: Like I said, hilarious you think you are educated on it Venus: let alone enough to lecture ME Venus: I literally got kidnapped by my father's surrogate and his partner, her brother was too cowardly to do anything about it? Venus: miss me with this nonsense, you're the one stressing on this family Venus: they love a stray, they'll accept you sis, it's all blessed Leilani: I know Grace loves you & she would never use any of your misfortunes as a way to amuse herself or anyone else, so that's what I'm speaking on Leilani: the rest is your business Venus: that's her choice? Venus: the levels I don't concern myself with what people say on me Venus: you sound mad paranoid, that's no way to live, girl Leilani: again, your advice on how I should live is unwelcome Venus: THE HYPOCRISY Venus: are you being satirical now, oh my GOD Venus: I am creased 😷😷😷😷💀 Venus: I will say whatever I want about any sad case in that family, and I can laugh at their tragic life choices, and there's 0 to be said or done about it by anyone, least of all you Venus: if they were living better lives, they'd be unphased, if they ain't, who's fault is that really, look inside not @ me Leilani: don't bring it to my door & think it won't get closed in your face, that's what has been said already Venus: 💔💔 dying to be BFFs, obviously Venus: as has been said, my kindness has been thrown in my face, that's your karma Venus: I'm good Leilani: if you think that's kindness you have your own coming Venus: SIS, focus 👏 on 👏 your 👏 own Venus: your life is super sad Venus: it won't get any better wishing ill on me Venus: 🙏 on your own karma and demons, I don't have everything but I am GRATEFUL for what I do have Venus: I'm still out here trying to help you, even though you've literally cussed me out and put lies on my name ??? Venus: point fingers at your own evils Leilani: thanks for pointing out all the necessary work I need to do Leilani: but you have your own Venus: 😂😂😂 and you get to tell me because? Venus: I've evidenced all the work I DO do Venus: you're still sat here being petty Venus: couldn't be me, God bless though Leilani: I'm grateful for what I have too & part of that is gratitude I'm not you or needing to be around you if this is how it is Venus: 😬 that's so dark-sided I feel really terrible for you Venus: you can be grateful for your good without pointing out other people's bad Venus: lowkey that's kinda the point Venus: go do some charity work ASAP, work out those thoughts and all the negative they attract in your life Leilani: I'm already the charity case as you see it but okay Venus: oof Venus: the self-pity Venus: you really think you're so, so down-trodden you can't do ANYTHING to help your fellow man? Leilani: you think I am, I can't voice what I think unless I speak directly over you atm Venus: I don't allow words to be put into my mouth Venus: not by you, not by the devil Venus: offering friendship does not imply anything about you, but a lot about my character Venus: it's actually very sad you can't see that and have to take it so negatively Venus: no wonder your life is where it is Leilani: the only thing I took negatively is what you said about Grace, how quickly you withdrew your offer of friendship becos I disagreed with you about her is what says things about you Venus: Okay, so my offer is withdrawn because SEVERAL times in this short conversation, you've attempted to tell me what I THINK, what I SAY and what I DO Venus: and no, I can't have that kind of negativity around me, my protection of myself is more important than making myself a conduit for whatever ill you're trying to spread by tone policing so violently Venus: charity has to have limits or it can get twisted by people who seek to abuse it Venus: I have to go on my instincts with this one, I am not one to ignore red flags Leilani: I'm not a charity case & you're not better than me, there's my limit Leilani: I don't want your pity dressed up as friendship & I definitely don't have room for your smugness & condescension Venus: You have to ask yourself, where this inferiority complex really comes from Venus: I've not said or implied I'm better than you, so why do you feel that so strongly you have to attack my personality to convince yourself of the fact I'm actually, much, much worse than you Venus: I'm really sad for you 😥 I wish there was something I could do but that's inner work 🙏 Leilani: you literally called me a stray, so maybe that's where I got it Leilani: not to mention how ready you are to bring up every perceived flaw in my character but also call them evils as if that's a word to be casually thrown around Venus: It's truly not about you Venus: self-obsession is a sign that you're not putting in the work Venus: a happy person does not think about themselves constantly, or think EVERYONE else is too 🙄 Venus: your behaviour towards me has been flawed and it DOES signal troubling thought patterns Venus: I'm well within my right to comment on them Venus: if you think I'm wrong, you'll have no issue continuing as you are Leilani: I'm not a happy person & I am having troubling thought patterns but that's not about you Leilani: you came into this convo knowing that & what it was about Venus: I really don't think it's cool to blame your problems on your mom's passing Leilani: I'm not feeling very cool about anything atm sorry Venus: I hope you get there 🙏🙏😘 Leilani: thanks Venus: I'll see you at school then 💓 Leilani: yeah

[eggmayowayo]

I’m on cracc and quarantine is boring

A dumb Buster Bros headcannon (so everything is definitely not true!) that’s sad and kinda dark because I’ve been watching way too many Adventure Time analysis videos and I feel analytical myself.

SO! Jiro and Saburo are just figments of Ichiro’s imagination to help him cope with his terrible life uwu. Maybe Jiro and Saburo are manifestations of Ichiro’s psyche, kinda like an imaginary friends kind of thing. I guess Ichiro created his brothers in his head because he wants friends and maybe a family. We see that through The Dirty Dawg manga, he had been scammed by people he trusted such as the people in the orphanage and a partner he worked with to collect money. Thus, I believe (and assume) that he has abandonment issues and is very lonely and struggling with mental issues and Jiro and Saburo are meant to help cope.

To be fair, I did this for fun and I hope you enjoy reading and feel free to tell me why I’m wrong in the comments below. This is very baseless but I wanna get it off my chest uwu. Also, evidence is my memory of the manga and I’m not a psychologist! 

Perhaps Jiro is a manifestation of Ichiro’s very notable delinquent side as shown by how the hypmic writers note that Jiro is especially influenced by Ichiro and looks up to him a lot. Jiro was probably the first “imaginary friend” he has and so Ichiro made Jiro very similar to him so it’s easier for Ichiro to connect with him?? I would think that it’s easier to be friends with someone who has a similar temperament to you, right? So maybe Jiro was the first manifestation of Ichiro’s personality. Ichiro might have been fairly young and still doesn’t really know much about himself, let alone others, so he created Jiro as a way to become fast friends and get companionship when he’s going through a tough time.

Then, there’s Saburo. Saburo is arguably the most different from the current Yamada brothers in terms of personality but he is definitely an “Ichiro-boy”. Unlike Jiro, it is quite ambiguous to ascertain which part of Ichiro’s personality was the one that succeeded in personifying to create Saburo. However, I have a vague idea of a one. This is so because Ichiro got a little bit more mature when he got to creating Saburo. That’s why Ichiro didn’t really feel the need to make Saburo just like him or anything like that, especially when he’s noted to being a good kid and not a delinquent like his older brothers. 

That being said, Saburo is a manifestation of Ichiro’s honest personality (and perhaps his light “pretty boy” vibe). Ichiro is known to express his emotions very bluntly when he feels himself or others are wronged; Saburo is similar but he’s rude, snarky and sassy when it comes to voicing out his first impressions of people. They are both honest, but we should see the nuance in this honesty. The introduction of nuance means that Ichiro is better able to understand himself and doesn’t really need to be with people just like him to feel loved or understood. The larger age gap between Ichiro and Saburo versus Ichiro (5 years) and Jiro (2 years) is also telling because with the creation of Jiro, Ichiro’s mental state could have improved and he did more personal reflection in that time so he probably experimented until Saburo was born and Saburo was the one who stayed because of how strong he was. 

Also, I thought of this later but maybe Saburo was someone Ichiro wanted to be: a clean, intelligent boy with a genuinely good heart who is able to survive on his own without feeling lonely as shown by Saburo’s introverted nature and ability to be nice when he wants to be. Of course, Saburo is not completely like that but maybe Ichiro really did want to be a good kid and that’s the kind of boy he imagined for Saburo. That’s sad because maybe he feels that he isn’t a good person or someone who deserves goodness innately so he tried to imagine someone who does - a cute pretty boy with endearing overconfidence.

So, allow me to talk about how this kinda fits into the lore. Well, for one thing, during the orphanage days what strikes me most is that the boys (Jiro and Saburo) hated Ichiro for quite a long time because Ichiro threatened their caretaker who was actually exploiting them. This is a conflict I find particularly intriguing. Here we have Ichiro who sees the reality of life for the first time versus Jiro and Saburo who are oblivious and pure. He’s particularly vulnerable because he is growing up and is trying to understand things for himself and that’s why he lashed out. Fun fact, the men who took advantage of Ichiro probably represent how the world is cruel and how life goes on whether you like it or not or the injustice of life, blah blah. However, as based by my nonsense earlier, Jiro and Saburo are just pure manifestations of Ichiro’s personality, they don’t see the things Ichiro himself had seen and so they don’t know anything. I guess Ichiro protected them to keep their purity so he can have a safe space of companionship and family far removed from the hardship in the real world to feel better, like an oasis. After all, Jiro and Saburo are very new when it comes to the Hypnosis Mic things and with life in general so maybe that’s Ichiro’s influence at play as well?

Anyways, at the orphanage, Jiro and Saburo hate Ichiro because Ichiro inflicted it on himself as a form of punishment. If we think that Jiro and Saburo are mere manifestations then Ichiro may subconsciously influence their feelings. Ichiro may have felt a little bad for threatening their caretaker or when he knows more about life: he feels horrible like he had been used and that all his efforts to help himself is futile. Because he’s feeling turbulent emotions, he could be projecting his inner self-loathing onto his “imaginary friends” Jiro and Saburo by making them hate him and feeling like he betrayed them. At this point, Jiro and Saburo are becoming real people and thus are more able to act on their newfound feelings more and really reflect Ichiro’s self-loathing as he is forced to come to terms with the situation he is in. To get out of it requires lots of courage that he does not have at the time and he knows it so that’s why he’s “punishing” himself for being so weak and cowardly. 

If you think like why would someone do that to themselves? Well, I’d like to say that when you’re in between a rock and a hard place and you don’t know that such despairs are normal, you would have so much self-doubt and self-loathing as you think you’re pathetic and so you unconsciously go into a downward spiral as you pity yourself. In this case, Ichiro made Jiro and Saburo hate him as part of his “self-loathing” stage because he thinks that he deserved it.

Now, let us return to present day because I don’t want to waste your time. 

Jiro and Saburo argue a lot for Ichiro’s attention and praise. This is probably because they may have acknowledged that they are mere creations but they love Ichiro dearly and thus they want to be equal with Ichiro, to be acknowledged as worthy. Even though Ichiro was growing up and had to learn to be independent, Ichiro still went back to save them and they treasure that so much and were even dumbfounded. With this, they want to be seen as real people Ichiro can rely on for anything and more than just companionship. 

At this point, Jiro and Saburos’ personalities and characters are so solid and real that they simply transcend Ichiro’s imagination and become functional people in the real world. Ichiro’s happy for this though; they are all growing up. Maybe instead of the typical imaginary friends concept when imaginary friends disappear as you get older, Jiro and Saburo become real as Ichiro can learn to live with them not as coping mechanisms but as actual friends and even as a family. Ichiro has matured significantly during The Dirty Dawg era (I must acknowledge that Samatoki and Kuko had a large part in encouraging him and helping him develop) and so he doesn’t need to rely on Jiro and Saburo as a pure version of himself but as people. This thus allows their characters to develop naturally independent of his mental influence. 

At the end of the day, I want to say that Ichiro loves Jiro and Saburo deeply on so many levels and that love is reciprocated today. I don’t exactly know how this will develop over time but I hope this theory makes sense and would be interesting for you. Anyways, like I said, please tell me why I’m wrong in the comments below.

#will delete later #buster bros #hypmic #hypnosis mic #hypmic theory

[murasaki-murasame]

The moral of Ao no Flag chapter 44 is that Shingo is definitely the kind of person to be like ‘I vote third party because both political parties seem equally bad to me’.

Anyway, oh boy do I have some Thoughts on this chapter, which will be under the cut.

This is definitely gonna be a really polarizing chapter for a lot of people, and in a lot of ways I’m nervous about where it’ll go, and which characters Kaito is being more sympathetic toward here.

Since this whole chapter was about characters talking about homophobia from different angles, I may as well just jump straight into it as well and talk about the ideas and themes being discussed here.

To be blunt, Shingo’s attitude in this chapter pisses me off because it’s the kind of ‘neutrality’ that actively benefits oppressors and abusers. It’s the kind of attitude that just keeps victims from being able to defend themselves, and that allows abusers to keep hurting people. It’s the type of middle-of-the-road nothingness that supports the status quo, which in practice just means that people like him just end up sitting back and watching homophobes beat up gay people and all they feel like doing is going ‘hmm I dunno guys, both sides seem equally at fault here :/’. This is exactly the sort of situation where the idea of the paradox of tolerance comes into play. If you express universal tolerance toward everything, including intolerance, that just creates a situation where bigots and abusers get free reign to hurt people, which is obviously a bad thing. The only way to actually take any meaningful steps to punishing and preventing bigotry is to accept the fact that not everything deserves to be tolerated, and that punishing hatred is not morally equivalent to hating and hurting innocent people.

The situation with Touma and Kensuke pretty bluntly illustrates the imbalance of power and blame that lies at the heart of this. Literally the only thing that Touma did was being gay and having a crush on his best friend. And on the other hand, Kensuke decided to step into this situation that didn’t involve him at all and physically assault Touma over it. Acting like those two things are on any level meaningfully equivalent is cowardly and selfish. Kensuke’s own feelings and personal history are a separate topic that at this point have nothing to do with the immorality of how he treated Touma. Particularly because what Touma did has literally no direct connection to Kensuke. All Touma did was just tell Mami that he likes Taichi, and Kensuke was outside of the room eavesdropping. He wasn’t involved in the conversation at all, and he wasn’t even the subject of Touma’s feelings. He just went out of his way to force his own insecurities and baggage and bigotry onto a situation that has nothing to do with him. Maybe if it was a situation where, like, Touma had a crush on Kensuke and suddenly kissed him and Kensuke freaked out about it, then his past trauma might at least somewhat excuse it, but that’s not what happened.

Even though on paper the topic of male victims of rape is something that should be discussed and respected, I feel like it was kinda haphazardly thrown into this chapter to try and make Kensuke seem even somewhat sympathetic, even if it didn’t really work. As I said, the fact that Touma was talking about having feelings for someone other than Kensuke, and that Kensuke wasn’t part of the conversation at all, means that there’s absolutely no room to act like Kensuke’s trauma has anything to do with it. Him having past trauma because of some other gay person he knew doesn’t give him the right to randomly beat up any other gay person he knows about. Again, it’d be one thing if Kensuke was actually part of the conversation, or the subject of Touma’s feelings, or if Touma actually acted inappropriately toward him in a way that would be triggering, but, yet again, literally all Touma did was tell Mami that he likes Taichi, and Kensuke decided to go out of his way to barge in and assault him. Besides, if we’re going down the route of moral equivalency, it seems hypocritical for Kensuke to use his own past assault to completely ignore the fact that he also assaulted Touma. If they want to play the both sides card to get sympathy points, they don’t get to have it both ways and ignore Kensuke’s own assault toward Touma.

Which is it’s own thing, really. That most people who try and play the devil’s advocate centrist role aren’t actually what they seem to be. They’re usually not arguing in any sort of good faith. More often than not, they have their own biases and prejudices, and don’t in fact see everything equally. They just use the idea of politeness and tolerance to try and guilt-trip people who want to point out that it’s shitty of them to beat up a gay dude just for him being gay.

On the one hand, you can definitely say that Mami’s friends were inconsiderate and disrespectful toward Kensuke’s past assault, but honestly that whole plot point felt so transparently like ‘a plot point’, so to say, that I can’t even really suspend my disbelief over it, so I can’t exactly blame them for not caring. It’d be one thing if these were real people talking about real experiences, but since they’re just fictional characters, in this sort of situation I think what matters more is the author’s own intentions and methods in how and why they chose to bring this sort of thing up in the first place.

I was kinda hoping that there might be more layers to the whole situation with Kensuke, but nah it really was exactly what it seemed to be right from the get-go, and he really is just inexcusably bigoted and awful. But at least I expected that. I’m more disappointed with Shingo for deciding to completely throw Touma under the bus in order to try and protect Kensuke and his gross homophobic violence. He’s very rapidly losing points with me after this chapter, to be honest. Even on top of how incredibly rude he’s being to Touma by more or less accusing him of being just as bad as Kensuke, it seems really shitty of him to suddenly be defending Mr. “I have literally no choice but to treat men and women differently and to treat all women as sex objects and all gay men as rapists. I am just a smol creacher I cannut help it uwu” after the whole flashback with him sticking up for Mami and validating her desire to just be seen as a person and not as a woman. It kinda makes him seem really fake and two-faced in retrospect.

Not to mention the last minute implication that the blonde girl is apparently Shingo’s girlfriend, which makes his attitude seem even more shitty, honestly.

I honestly have to wonder if there’s some deeper reason why he seems to be pretty much abandoning his morals so he can aggressively double down on defending Kensuke’s actions at all costs. It just seems like a bit of an unnatural 180 for him.

And then there’s the whole scene with Futaba and co at the end of the chapter. Which is it’s own whole thing. I don’t really have much to say about it, but I do gotta admit that the whole way that they’re hammering in this idea of it being rude to Futaba for anyone to wish that Touma and Taichi could have gotten together is kinda feeling more and more uncomfortably meanspirited as time goes on. I dunno exactly how to put it, but especially after the whole “Touma’s apparently just as bad as Kensuke and apparently deserved to get assaulted for being gay” thing, it just seems all kinda of uncomfortable and loaded with all sorts of potential baggage that we immediately then had a whole scene of Mami basically going “you shouldn’t care so much about Touma’s feelings, you should just prioritize yourself and be happy about the fact that YOU’RE the one who ended up dating Taichi instead of Touma”. It really just seems like Touma’s getting shit on from all sides of the equation here. In a lot of ways it doesn’t really help that I don’t even think Taichi and Futaba’s relationship is that interesting or deep, so it’s just kinda annoying to see it get propped up and used as ammunition for this weird guilt-trip-y ‘if you want Touma to be happy, that just means you hate Futaba and her relationship with Taichi’ attitude.

Then there’s the whole thing at the very end of the chapter with Futaba unintentionally striking a raw nerve by being all cliffhangery and suddenly bringing up the [not-so-]hypothetical situation of Masumi being in love with her. I’m curious to see how that goes, but let’s just say that I don’t really want Masumi to also get shit on in the next chapter after what happened in this one, lol.

On the note of Masumi, we also finally got confirmation that she, for one reason or another, suspected that Touma was gay before she eventually became certain of it. I’m still curious to see if there’s any specific reason why she suspected it that early on, but I guess we’ll see.

Most of all I really wanna see more of Taichi’s thoughts on everything, since he’s been kinda non-existent for the last few chapters. Though I’m a bit nervous about whether or not I’ll even like what happens when we get a deeper look into his head.

At least for the time being I’m not going to personally judge Kaito for what happened in this chapter, since at the very least everything the characters said is more or less realistic for how teenagers talk about these things, but the big question is just which side of the argument Kaito wants us to sympathize with more in the long run. It’s one thing to just present different sides of an argument in a piece of fiction, but when it becomes clear that you as the author personally advocate for one over another, then it’s something worth talking about, one way or another.

This was really negative and ranty, but it’s not like I hate the series or anything, lol. I mean, my opinion on it might take a sharp downward turn if it becomes clear that Kaito just wants to throw Touma [and Masumi] under as many buses as possible while cozying up to violent homophobes, but we’ll see if it gets to that sorta point.

I’m just particularly sensitive about these sorts of centrist, willfully ignorant attitudes because they’re so directly at fault for so many of the world’s current political problems.

#murasaki rambles #ao no flag #this chapter sure was A Lot

[mzargentum]

The Stormsender’s Daughter | Chapter XXI | Heat Wave

Chapter XX | Chapter XXI | Chapter XXII

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 1,285

The tension within this small hallow space brewed sweat from the wizard’s pores.

It slowly began warmer and warmer like the fire was creeping toward them.

But it was nearly burnt out.

The milky eyed girl, glaring harshly at the deadly wizard, zero sense of fear.

Perfectly prepared for a fight that she couldn’t possibly believe she would win.

Right?

This must’ve been a bluff, but…the determination in her face was impressive to say the least.

Monumental.

For a 12 year old former slave.

In a vicious battle with her curiosity, Muerlin desperately wanted to see what more this girl had to offer.

“Well, demigod? You wanna go?”

But now…

“As a matter of fact…,” the wizard began to reply, the girl’s fist shaking.

...was not the time.

“I would very much like to,” Muerlin chuckled as she pulled her hand away from Galahd’s face, the lightning ceased. “Come on”.

In a split second, the wizard had pulled away toward the exit of the cavern.

The milky eyed girl blinked in confusion. 

“…what?”

The heat wave subsiding as she turned to see if this was some sort of joke.

“H-Hey! Where do you think you’re going?! I’m not done with you yet!!” the girl shouted in frustration. “Besides, don’t you know it’s rude to just turn your back on people in the middle of a conversation?!”

“And I’m sure you have a lot to teach me about manners,” the wizard joked with an eyeroll, “but your 10 minutes of talking is up and we officially up which leaves us 10 minutes to get out of here”.

“Wha…but…what?!,” the girl stammered.

“You’re the only one that knows the way out, right?”

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!! WHAT KIND OF IDIOT DO YOU THINK I AM?!,” the girl shrieked in irritation at the jokester wizard. “AFTER ALL THIS, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I’D TRUST YOU?!”

“Because I’m not done with you yet either,” the wizard grinned proudly.

The girl’s jaw all, but hit the floor.

“Now, let’s get out of here, yeah?,” Muerlin suggested before taking off out of the cavern.

“WAIT!!,” the girl shouted after the wizard as she dashed after her. “WAIT, STUPID! THAT’S THE WRONG WAY!”

                                               ________________

15 minutes later.

“Sir, there’s no sign of the Pythoness here!” an imperial scout reported to his commander of the radio.

“Keep looking!,” Ulldor scolded the man, “or it’ll be you I deliver to the Chancellor personally”.

Looking about the village below, Ulldor grimaced at the sight surrounding him.

“All these unholy degenerate rodents…,” he commented at the women of the village, “like filthy lambs fresh for the slaughter. That is, if we find your little S.R. with the Chancellor’s pet…Mr. Mammon”, the commander snickered to the dashingly dressed man beside him.

“Now, don’t give up hope there, Commander,” Dion’s charismatic charm seeping from his throat like the mountains of sweat from his pores. “Galahd is, but an incompetent brat I picked up from near Insomnia”.

“Hmm,” the commander glared toward the man, “she’s not one of your…play things?”

A light snort lifted from the man’s throat, “heavens, no. She was only 12. Besides, what kind of business man would I be to let my blind maid in on the…festivities?”

“So”, a familiar voice slithered through the man’s ear, “my Muerlin was stolen from me by a blind 12 year old maid”.

Dion and Ulldor turned around to see Ardyn perched on a boulder behind them. That sinister smirk on his stubbled face.

“And somehow this maid was able to trick you into eliminating your favorite lap dog giving her ample time to escape with the Pythoness,” the man commented as he approached the two.

Dion’s breath hinged in light fear.

“And now she brings her here…of all places? The same village where you retrieved your bird”.

“Hmm, it seems this girl is more interested in humiliating you, Mr. Mammon,” Ulldor chimed in with a chuckle.

“Still, not a trace of them,” Ardyn continued to pry. “Tell me…what other significance does this village have?”

“Why, this village is our direct line of supply from the outer regions. Food, first aid, all the essentials come through the back ways here”, Dion explained. “A single road, once a week, 11am sharp, trucks are sent from the village to meet the suppliers across the continent and beyond”.

“I sense these trucks are armed?,” Ulldor asked suspiciously.

“Heavens, no! That is what them Imperial boys are for,” Dion confirmed. “They thoroughly check the trucks before departure. They begin search at 10:30. That’s why they leave at 11”.

“Commander Ulldor,” Ardyn called toward his underling. 

“Do you have the time?”

“15 til noon, sir”.

“Do the trucks ever leave later than scheduled?,” the Chancellor asked curiously.

“Never under any circumstance. Late for a deal and we lose our supply for that week and the Imperial watchdogs make escape…well…a very deadly pipe dream at best”.

“That is,” Ardyn smirked to himself, “unless you remove the dogs”.

“I beg ya pardon?”

“Every Imperial guard is more or less occupied searching for your S.R. and the Pythoness…what’s one measly security check?,” the chancellor deduced. “And I’m sure she’s the one that alerted them of Muerlin’s presence”.

Dion’s eyes widened in agitation. “What exactly are you implying?”

“Quite an impressive escape plan for such an ‘incompetent brat’ wouldn’t you say, Mr. Mammon?”

Dion froze. He glanced toward the commander beside him. Both men sharing a look of utter disapproval as well as sharing the same sinister aura.

“Now, now, hold on there! We may still have time to catch them! Leaving without inspection is a punishable offense!”

“But under no circumstances are they to miss their mark time,” Ardyn interrupted the man, “your words, Mr. Mammon”.

Dion’s knees grew weak. Sweat pored from his fresh like waterfalls. This couldn’t be happening…his prize…his precious bird…his fortune…dashed by a child.

A child.

“Oh…Chancellor Izunia, sir…,” the frightened playboy stammered, “I assure you…I will do everything in my very being to turn this whole mishap around. I swear it on my very soul”.

“Oh, my good man,” the maroon haired man removed his hat, “there is no need for that now”.

Dion backed against the rocky slopes of the mountain side. Shaking furiously in his golden stitched boots.

“I personally believe after this, you deserve a lengthy vacation”.

The man trembled against the rocks. His lungs collapsing over his uncontrolled breathing. 

“One where you finally have a chance…to rest”.

“P-Please…let’s be reasonable about this…li-like gentlemen…we can work something out. Let me talk to the Emperor…I can get him to-”.

“This has nothing to do with the Emperor”.

Ardyn’s eyes shimmered gold, resembling a viper. His tone like a vicious hiss.

“This is…my prize”.

The man’s vein grew cold at the Chancellor’s gaze.

“And now…”, his tone returning to normal as he returned his hat to its rightful spot, “…you may join yours”.

The Chancellor waved toward Ulldor as he retreated back toward the village.

The Commander nodding in understanding.

“Wait…”.

Ulldor returning his gaze toward the cowardly man.

“We can work this out, y’hear?! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!!!”

The click of Ulldor’s pistol as the safety was removed echoed throughout the valleys.

“IZUNIAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!”

                                                 ______________

The girl’s body jolted her from her slumber at the distant sound of a gunshot.

Turning her gaze toward the mountain range in the distance, as the truck rattled forward, she felt a sudden warmth engulf her body.

“You okay?”

The girl turned her view to the teal eyed maiden sitting across from her in the bed of the truck. 

A gentle bronze hand placed upon her shoulder.

“Actually…,” the girl began to answer as she looked back toward the mountains.

“…yeah”.

                                                  ______________

Tagging: @digitalkanvas​ @completelyinappropriate​ @aquathemermaidstripper​ @glacian-apocalypse​ @a-new-recipehhh​

#final fantasy xv #ffxv #final fantasy oc #final fantasy fanfiction #muerlinian zephyr #sibyl ramses #galahd #ardyn izunia #dionysus mammon #birdie #caligo ulldor #iedolas aldercapt #Insomnia

[moondropcavernsanctuary]

Are You Afraid of the Dark? | Psalm B. | Re: Everybody

See, she’d expected this, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. It didn’t lessen the sting, the gaping wound in her chest, that came from everyone she had grown to love so dearly realizing she had played them all along, used them, betrayed them like the snake she’d been so apathetically before. If she’d just stayed away from them, none of this would have happened - but then again, Komori and the mastermind had clearly demonstrated they wanted her out of here, one way or another, and was it better to die a stranger, unknown, life wasted and thrown away, or to die hated and alone? Lauren closes her eyes and counts to ten, and then addresses people completely out of order.

She turns to Kazuo and can’t even muster up a defense against him, because he’s right. He is absolutely right, and he deserves to be angry, and she doesn’t have time to defend herself. Nothing she says matters, now. The time for that is gone. So instead, she just smiles sadly at him, and tucks a chunk of her hair behind one ear before speaking.

“You know,” she says, quietly in contrast to his anger. “She threatened me even before the motive, and constantly after that. All sorts of things. Things that terrified me, and if it had been at the start, I...wouldn’t have even needed to be threatened, frankly. That’s just the sort of person I was back then. But you changed me. Did you know that? Do you honestly know the kind of positive influence you had on me, Blondie? I need you to know, okay, before I…” She shivers, and a brief flash of terror flashes across her face before she regains some semblance of her composure. “Everything I said to you the last time was true. I told you I was leaving behind that paranoia, that distrust, and I did. I trusted you, and that’s so hard for me - Ryoma will tell you that - because you kept proving over and over again that you were worth it and that you were so much more than the angry delinquent guy I thought you were when we first met. I didn’t have to be anybody but me around you, and you were such a good friend to me and so real with me that I wanted out. I couldn’t do it anymore, Kazuo. Because of you. Because of Ryoma, and Shiba, and Hibiki, and you, especially you, because you made me feel like there was fucking hope for leaving.” She looks down at the floor, because even though she knows she deserves it, she can’t handle his glare anymore. She just can’t. She’s weak and cowardly as everything so far has proven, and she’ll die like she lived - afraid. “I resisted her for days just because of you. Because I made you a promise, and because you made me the kind of person who wanted to keep it. And I - I’m just really, I’m…” The tears are springing up again. “I’m so sorry I let you down. I was really hoping to make you smile with my food someday...I hope maybe something good you eat in the future will do what I couldn’t.”

Next up is Tsurugi, who is met with a hell of a lot more wariness than Kazuo is.

“Let you kill-” The chef shakes her head, looking distressed. “I didn’t let you kill anyone, I told you that wasn’t me! What, do you think I knew who the killer was every time? The only time I knew who did it was this time, because it was me! I didn’t know, alright? All I did was wake up at hell o’clock in the morning whenever Komori would say I was needed and I’d go mess up whatever room she decided would be most annoying for you guys. They didn’t tell me anything. I wish they had - trust me, I’d be selling them the fuck out right now if they did, and they know that. That’s why they kept me in the dark. They knew I didn’t have any real loyalty to the cause or whatever they’re up to. Seriously, I probably knew less than Rude-chan, she seemed to have it all together...the only thing I knew was when someone died or was about to, because I’d get dragged off to draw on the walls or make fake blood or shove fabric scraps in people’s hands or whatever.” She shrugs, helpless. “I don’t have any reason to lie, Sword-chan. Not anymore. There’s no point. I’m being honest - I don’t know anything except what I just said, and that the mastermind wanted me to kill this time around for some reason. I didn’t even know what was in the labyrinth. That’s why I stopped going. It was too much risk, and I didn’t want to get killed by some nutjob with a pickaxe. I didn’t know who was in there, and I don’t know why we’re here or where here is, or anything. I can’t do anything for you. I...really wish I could. It’s the least I could do.”

She feels utterly useless, honestly. All of this was for nothing. She’d been marked to die from the moment she agreed to this, and hilariously, the thing she’d done to protect herself was exactly what was getting her killed. If she’d just stuck it out and gone through it normally, she’d probably have made it. She’d made a lot of allies, after all, and now has lost them all in one fell swoop. God, had she not missed this loneliness, this feeling of the world being against you, out for your blood. Except this time, it was real. It wasn’t a delusion. She’d earned it, in her efforts to avoid it.

She has surprisingly little to say to Imoo, actually. As much as she stares at him, overflowing with emotion, realizing she’d missed a kindred spirit in her quest to keep her secrets close to her chest, she can’t speak. She doesn’t have enough time to say what she wants to say, to tell him it’s okay, she gets it, she knows how it feels, and she hopes he keeps fighting for his life without sacrificing what makes life worth living in the first place. But she doesn’t. She simply says

“I’m sorry I couldn’t make you hate me.”

Because she didn’t deserve to make people cry over her.

Lauren’s been doing an impressive job of holding herself together, after the initial outburst of emotion, but the minute Shiba addresses her her face crumples into despair and she can’t stop herself from running to their side and pulling them into a tight hug, her hand coming up to hold the back of their head protectively to her shoulder.

“I did not lie, Kurumi-chan, I didn’t, never about us being friends. We were friends, and we - you’re still my friend, even though I know I’m nobody’s anymore. Please, I...I really didn’t want to leave you. I still don’t. I want to just, just run away, so far away from here, and be safe and spend all of my time with you or at least as much of it as I can before Ryo gets jealous or something and - and I want to make you dinner and be your roommate and teach you to cook and learn how to play games from you and I want to do so much and I never...you were one of my first friends here. You’re my best friend. I didn’t want you to help because I didn’t want you to get involved. I knew you were...I didn’t know if you’d actually kill somebody for this, but I had to do something before you did, because I was scared you’d get executed for it.” God, it was funny how much Shiba reminded her of herself, angrily berating Masataku for not letting her help him. She’d see him again soon enough. He’d probably be amused that she got a taste of her own antics. Right? “I would have done anything to keep you alive, Kurumi. And I did. You are not alone, even if I d- uh, even when, I…” Moving on. That’s too hard to say. “You’re not. You have everybody here, and you have Ryo, He’ll be there for you. It, um, I know you didn’t like him that much, but he made me really happy, and he’s there for people. You should really...talk to him. Because he’ll need someone to look out for him too. And - and my parents, they...they’d really like to meet you, I think.” Lauren has to choke back a sob, clutching Shiba closer to her for a moment before stepping back and starting to walk back to her own podium. “They’ll be lonely, too. And they’d love you almost as much as I do.”

...And then there’s Ryoma.

She can’t even look him in the fucking eyes.

“...”

Yeah. Sorry to the peanut gallery. She stills as he grabs her in a hug and holds her and she can’t bear to separate from him when this comfort is what she’s so desperately craving right now, so she reaches over and grabs her tablet because her relationship is all that she has left to hold tightly to her heart and not let go of and she doesn’t really want to share it with the world, honestly. So she sends him message after message and tries not to shake in his arms and tries not to think about how much she wishes she hadn’t let other people’s expectations and her own paranoia keep her from letting her have this for longer than a couple of weeks. It was the brightest spot in her dark, miserable life, the catalyst for her realization that maybe shit didn’t have to be just fucking terrible all of the time. The only time she’s ever gotten to just be a silly teenaged girl who giggled and crushed on a boy and went on a disastrous date that was all worth it because he still kissed her in the end. It was the only slice of normalcy in the weird pie chart that was her life, and she just wishes it had been a bigger portion. That’s all. She brings her hands up to his face and wipes his tears with his scarf, and gets over herself enough for five seconds to lean up and kiss him even though she knows everybody is watching. It’s not like she’d be around much longer to care about the embarrassment, and she needed it. He needed it. To know she actually, really, truly, one hundred percent, always cared for him.

Don’t romanticize dying young, she’d snapped at him so long ago, and she hoped he’d carry that with him.

At first, it seems like she isn’t even going to address Hibiki at all. She’s so quiet, standing there holding Ryoma, as if that’s what she’s going to do until she’s dragged away. But she does, at the last moment, remove herself from her boyfriend’s grasp and turn to him, the first to speak, and the last to hear her.

And she smiles. A smile so sad and so full of regret that it spoke volumes more than anything she was about to say would.

“I know,”

She tells him, and closes her eyes.

“You won’t miss me. I knew that already.”

Her eyes open again, and the bright green has never seemed so deathly.

“But I’ll miss you until the second I stop breathing.”

#psalm #chapter 5 #trial #submission

[ryuucaro]

for the drabble ask, 65 & 77, whatever fandom/pairing suits your fancy

dis is so late omg but I’m gonna put it under read more, although I only did the first one since it ended up kinda long fjdlskjdls

also you can find it on ao3 too((also also anyone who sees this feel free to join my lgbt yagakimi server here!))

65. “I don’t want you tostop.”

Touko made her way upthe stairs, clenching her fists into the fabric of her skirt. Whether it was toease her nerves or steady herself she wasn’t sure, but her heart felt like itwould soon beat out of her chest and she was honestly considering just turningaround and going home.

She shook her head.

No, that wasn’t anoption anymore, she was already here after all. She needed to do this. This oddtension between the two of them had gone on for too long. She needed toapologize. She needed to make things right.

As she made her way tothe door, she took a deep breath in, preparing herself to approach. She glareddown the door for a bit, it was the only thing standing between her and Yuu. Itwas a formidable foe to be sure, but she had to do this. For Yuu.

“Y-yuu?” Touko finallycalled hesitantly, gently rapping at the door in front of her.

“Your sister let mein…she said you would be up here, but she also said that you might be taking anap…” She absentmindedly begins twiddling her thumbs. She knew this wasn’t goingto be easy as she mentally ran through the scenario over and over at home, butshe couldn’t even begin to imagine how much her heart would be racing right nowor how much her hands would be shaking.

“I wanted to talk… ifthat’s ok with you! Or, um, if not that’s ok too, I can go home it’s no bigdeal…” Her palms started to feel clammy and cold, and her anxiety was beginningto frustrate her. Why was approaching her making her so nervous?!

Honestly, this wasn’tfair! It’s just Yuu! The kindest, sweetest (albeit a bit snarky at times) girlshe knows! The girl she had fallen in love with! Even if things had turned abit tense between them lately, she’d promised she’d stay by Touko’s side, sotalking to her about this should be no big deal, right?! Well, but then again,she’d also promised she wouldn’t fall in love with her…

Touko glanced down ather hands to find them in the same shape as her legs currently felt, weak,shaky, and hesitant.  No longer asdetermined as when she’d arrived at the door, her voice started to falter.

“O-or um, maybe you’reasleep. In which case I’m just talking to myself…” She finished quietly, clenchingher hands together. This was sostupid, what was she doing? What exactly had she hoped for? She should havejust gone home or not even come over from the start, of course Yuu wouldn’twant to talk to her. Not after how she’d responded to her confession.

She clutched at herchest and took a deep, deliberate breath to ground herself.

Ok, no, she needed tocalm down, she was skipping to the worst-case scenario. Perhaps that wasn’t thecase at all. Afterall, maybe Yuu wasjust taking a nap, maybe Touko just needed to give her some time and come backlater. Her heart could certainly use the break to recover and just as well thatwould give her more time to think about what to say, even if it was onlyprolonging the inevitable.

Yeah… that sounded likea good plan though. Even if it was a bit cowardly on her part, no one wouldhave to know. She could just tell Yuu’s sister that she must’ve been asleep andhadn’t responded. It wasn’t a lie, so she wasn’t exactly running away, right?Afterall, Yuu really hadn’t responded, the fact that she didn’t keep tryingdidn’t mean she hadn’t tried in the first place.

“Ok,” Satisfied with her reasoning, she took a step back from the door.

“I…I guess I’ll comeback another time…” She turned, preparing to make her way down the stairs whenshe suddenly heard a distinctive click behind her.

“Yuu?” She perked up,turning right back around to look at her, hopeful.

“Senpai?” Yuu yawns,rubbing the sleep from eyes and leaning heavily against the doorframe.

‘Oh.’ Touko mused, unable to keep the small smile from forming on her face. ‘She really was napping.’

“What’re you doing here?”Yuu murmurs out, trying to will herself to wake up, bleary eyes trying to focuson the girl before her.

“Oh, I-um-you see-“ Nowthat she was actually in front of Yuu she had no idea what to say! ‘Hey sorry I made you think I rejected you,but also I still can’t accept your confession, but also also I miss you and Iwant to be with you but not like be with you??? No, that’s an awful idea!’

Touko straightened herback and gripped tightly at the nape of her neck, shaking only slightly lessthan before. She took a deep breath in and steeled herself with resolve to gether message across.

“I-I wanted to talk.” Tentatively,she looked up, meeting Yuu’s eyes.

“To you.” Her eyebrowsraised, she silently pleaded at Yuu, hoping she would allow her thisrequest.  

“About us.” Shefinished, no longer able to maintain the direct eye contact. Well, at least shegot her message across, that was all that really mattered.

“…Oh.” Yuu straightenedup, no longer leaning on the doorframe. Unlike the taller girl, she kept hergaze directly on Touko, searching her eyes for any hint as to what she wantedto say.

Touko tensed but pushedherself to hold her gaze again. She needed to show Yuu that she still caredabout her, that she wasn’t here to hurt Yuu further. She didn’t want to scareher off like she did last time, to have her run away again and avoid her as shehad been for the past few weeks.

But it wasn’t fear,rather worry that laced those amber eyes. She already knew what Touko wanted totalk about, how could she not, but she didn’t know what else there was to sayon the matter, or how it would affect them.

“Well…come on in, Isuppose.” Yuu opened the door fully and gestured into her room, allowing forTouko to slip in past her before closing the door behind her.

“Go ahead and makeyourself comfortable, if you’d like to, that is.” Yuu said, unceremoniouslyhopping onto her bed and pulling down on her shirt to straighten it out.

She seemed to be playingit cool but Touko had spent enough time with her to notice the subtle changesin Yuu when she was unsure about something. Her hands were trembling slightlyand her breathing was a little too quick and uneven, Touko was able to note, furrowingher brow. Yuu ran a hand through her bangs and let a long, steady breath beforelooking up to where Touko was standing, staring expectantly.

“O-oh, right. Yes. I’llmake myself comfortable.” She smoothed out the bed covers next to Yuu andgently sat down next to her, not close enough to be touching but closer thanshe had been to her in weeks.

Yuu scooted a little tothe side, an action not gone unnoticed by Touko, but as much as it broke herheart to see Yuu distance herself, she reminded herself that this was what shewas here for. To fix this.

“So.” Yuu interruptedher thoughts.

“So.” Touko parrotedback, smoothing out her skirt. This was a lot tenser than she imagined itbeing, but it’s just Yuu, right? Nothing’s actuallychanged, whether or not she knew about them, Yuu’s feelings had been steadyenough that she felt like she had to confess them, they weren’t new.

‘This is the same Yuu as before then, just talkto her like normal! She’ll understand, she always has!’

“Yuu… I wanted to sayI’m sorry.”

Silence. If there hadbeen a pin falling, you would hear it drop. But there was no pin. Instead therewas only tension, but she wanted to give Yuu time to absorb the statement andfeel it’s sincerity before continuing. She was about to speak up again, to tryto further explain herself but-

“Um…senpai…not to belike, rude but you already told me that.” Yuu faced her, confused? Irritated?Hurt? It was hard to tell.

“…Huh?”

“I mean, I get it. I gotit. You can’t love me. I didn’t keep my promise and so that’s over. It’s fine.I understand.” Yuu started rambling, gesturing wildly in front of her with herhands, refusing to look Touko’s way. ‘Isshe talking to me or herself?’

“And that’s ok. It’s myown fault, I should have kept my promise. You don’t have to feel bad about itor try to talk to me. It’s really no big deal.” She clenches her hands togetheras tears start welling up in her eyes. ‘Whatdo you mean it’s no big deal, it clearly is, look at yourself. Stop trying tobe nice for my sake. Stop that, stop saying it’s fine.’

“I’ll get over you, Idon’t want to hurt you more than I already have. I really messed up and I knowI did. That’s why, you don’t have to force yourself to be nice to me. You don’thave to go out of your way to try to make up with me. I deserve this. I’m sorryI failed to keep the promise, but this time I’ll keep it. I’m going to stoploving you and-“

“I DON’T WANT YOU TO STOP!”

“…what?” Yuu whispered, headjolting up to finally face her.voice quivering.

“I don’t want you tostop. I don’t want you to stop loving me. Please, Yuu, don’t. That’s really notwhat I want.” She choked out.

She was sobbing now too,it was far too painful to see Yuu selflessly put herself through thisheartache. To be so worried about Touko as to feel like she has to get over herown feelings so that Touko can be happy again.

She was willing to putTouko’s feelings ahead of her own, and she thought that that meant keeping herdistance. Never had Touko felt so guiltyin her entire life, she was thereason Yuu was avoiding her. Yuu wasn’t trying to protect herself, she wastrying to protect her.

“Nanami-sen-“

“Please. Let me finish.”Touko gently placed her finger on Yuu’s lips, the latter’s eyes widening at thetouch.

“When I said I’m sorry,then and now…what I meant is that I’m sorry for pushing you to keep yourfeelings hidden. I kept repeating over and over how I didn’t want you to fallin love with me. Instead of taking into consideration how you might be feeling,I just kept using you over and over for validation and to let me give youaffection.” Touko wiped at her eyes, the time for tears was over, it was timeto be honest and let everything out to Yuu to make things right.

“I never asked how youfelt, I just…accepted it as fact that you would never fall in love with me.That wasn’t right of me to do. I should have been there for you as you had beenwith me.” She took a deep inhale and steadied herself, grabbing Yuu’s hands.

“I’ll be honest, Ireally don’t know how I feel right now…or even what I really want. All I knowis that right now I miss you. I miss us. I don’t want us to avoid each other, Idon’t want us to pretend that nothing happened. I want to spend time togetheragain. I…” She faltered, looking to the floor, a warmth spreading across hercheeks.

“I want to hold youagain.” Touko finished gently.

“You…you want to hold meagain?”

“Yes…”

“Oh, uh…” A blush creptup Yuu’s neck, eyes darting between Touko and their joined hands.Touko gently squeezed Yuu’s hands, leaning in closer.

“Can I?” She whispered,uncertain but determined to try.

“O-ok.” Yuu took herhands back and hesitantly moved to wrap them around Touko.

Without wasting anothersecond Touko eagerly reciprocated holding her tight against herself. Nuzzlingher head against the younger girl’s, she whispered “I missed being near you.”

Yuu couldn’t help the softsmile that came to her face. “I missed being near you too.”

They held each other fora couple moments, neither wanting to pull away.

Reluctantly, Yuu pulledaway, deciding that as comforting as this was, they still needed to finishtheir conversation.

She trailed her handsdown from Touko’s back to her hips, separating herself from the taller girl.She opened her eyes to find ocean blue eyes staring right back at her. Theywere the same color of the blue depths that she once thought she was lost inwhen she couldn’t learn how to love. The very same blue she was currently lostin right now.

They stared at eachother, unwavering. Touko swallowed thickly, was it still ok to do this now?Certainly they were both feeling the tension in the room. But were they feelingthe same kind?

“Yuu-“

“Nanami-senpai, can Ikiss you?”

“Ah, um…yes, please do.”

Yuu leaned in, gentlyplacing her lips on Touko’s.

The kiss was soft,gentle, caring, both of them tryingto convey what they had been aching to say to each other for weeks. Both ofthem embracing the feeling of the other on them that they hadn’t felt in solong. Neither of them wanting to let go.

But again, Yuureluctantly leaned back, satisfied to have Touko near her again but not wantingto push things or get her hopes up.

As Touko slowly openedher eyes however, she brought out her hand to tenderly cup Yuu’s face beforeleaning in to steal another kiss, not wanting the moment to end.

This time they bothallowed themselves to get lost in the kiss, Yuu’s hands tugging on Touko’sshirt, puliing her closer and one of Touko’s hand cupping her jaw while theother firmly held the small of her back.

They stayed in theirgentle embrace for as long as they could before they pulled away, faces flushedand heart’s racing, but a smile on both their faces as they do.

“Yuu…” Touko presses anaffectionate kiss to the corner of her mouth before meeting her eyes again.

“Can we keep doing this?Not the kissing, or well, not justthat but this,” she brought herselfcloser to rest her forehead alongside Yuu’s.

“-us being together andbeing near each other. I don’t know how I feel about you but I know that I like this, what we have, maybe we cancontinue and see if it works?” She pleaded with her eyebrows raised, lookinginto warm amber eyes. She was unsure if it was a selfish request on her part,but she didn’t care anymore, she never wanted to let go of Yuu again.

“Yeah, I think I’d likethat.”

#touyuu #bloom into you #yagate kimi ni naru #mine #sailorportia

[theimpossiblescheme]

I’m gonna foreword this by saying I don’t know a terrible amount about NBC’s Hannibal (it just never appealed to me, and the writing seemed to get more and more contrived as the show went on), but it’s always seemed to me that it and The Legend of Hell House had a lot in common… for better and for worse.

From what I can tell, both texts don’t exactly sympathize with the psychopath that drives the story, be it the living Hannibal Lecter or the dead Emeric Belasco, but they both seem to be most interested in those characters.  Not the team of heroes that comes to defeat him.  Because all the intrigue is placed on the awful things they did in an almost fetishistic way.  Look at the brutally artistic way Hannibal arranges his victims, either as performance pieces for the police to find or as gourmet food (but it’s okay because he only eats the rude)!  Listen to all the Aleister Crowley-esque exploits of debauchery, sexual and otherwise (but mostly sexual), Belasco got up to during his lifetime that now stain the walls of his grand home!  And look at how both of them manage to play the good guys around them like cheap fiddles! Both shows go into such lurid detail that it’s basically showing off how fascinating they want you to find their central antagonists… except they aren’t that fascinating.  There’s nothing special about people who gaslight and take advantage of innocents just because they can.  Because they want to feel smug about “corrupting” someone.  Hannibal and Belasco aren’t these big impressive Devil figures because, as has been said by much cleverer bloggers than myself, The Devil is actually clever.  He doesn’t have to lie to get his way—he just has to point out what’s already there without having to twist it… and all Hannibal and Belasco do is twist and lie in the pettiest of ways.  They’re the banality of evil, the everyday evil that happens every time some asshole decides it would be fun to abuse someone’s trust and then laugh about it later. So no, I’m not as enchanted or terrified by either of them as their respective stories want me to be.  They’re not impressive at all—they’re just “funny little dried up bastards” with no self-awareness.

(Both stories also have an issue with how they treat their female characters like punching bags, but at least one sympathetic woman gets to walk away from Hell House mostly unscathed, unlike the unending pile of women Hannibal’s shoved into the refrigerator…)

Which brings me to the heroes of the stories, Will Graham and Ben Fischer.  Both deeply empathetic and highly intelligent.  Both socially stunted and reserved, but very kind to the people they care about.  Both survivors of abuse.  It’s pretty much text in Will’s case—because what else would you call Hannibal’s flagrant misuse of his power as Will’s therapist?—but it’s mostly subtext for Ben. We know that he was the only one who survived the first expedition to Hell House, and everyone else was either killed, crippled, or committed to a mental institution… and he obviously harbors quite a bit of trauma over that.  But look at the way he reacts to Belasco and vice versa—he’s immediately attacked and sent into a grand mal seizure when he tries to make contact with the spirit, and he visibly shrinks away when his friend Florence, who is being possessed by Belasco in the scene, makes cruel and sexually charged comments toward him. To say nothing of the numerous attempts Belasco has made to sexually assault him by proxy through the other guests in the investigation party.  Both Ben and Will have been through some serious shit and have turned out quite similar in personality for their experiences.  And yet, when their respective stories are at their best, these characters are central hubs of compassion, helping other traumatized characters to process and heal from what’s happened to them.  Will is a homicide detective—bringing the worst of humanity to justice is what he does. And he has Peter and Abigail (for a while) and the sequence with Georgia Madchen cowering under the bed… people he’s kind to, who suffer like he does and who he wants to give some respite to. Ben has Florence, a fellow medium going through what we assume are all the same things he did… he’s always there for her with a moment’s notice to patch her up and help keep her safe, even attempting to get her to safety before it was too late.  When their stories are the strongest, it’s not about small-minded cruel men playing dolls with innocent lives—it’s about their survivors trying to prevent anyone else having to go through what they did and showing kindness in an unkind environment.  They’re not “perfect” survivors by any means since they can be bitter and prickly and sometimes mean, but they’re far and away better and more fundamentally decent men than Hannibal or Belasco could ever hope to be.

Which is why I think it was so cowardly of Hannibal to treat Graham the way they did. Turning him “dark” and aligning him increasingly more with Hannibal until the two literally die in each other’s arms… because in the minds of these writers, how could it end any other way? What else could happen to Will other than his trauma making him the same as the one who caused him that trauma? Characters like Will are doomed, you see, by their very nature—the way Cassandra was in Greek mythology, because trauma always has to come from some “karmic punishment” apparently—so why wouldn’t his story end with him dying in the arms of the man who tried his damndest to destroy him?

I don’t know, maybe so we can get rid of shitty reductionist ideas like that, for instance?  Because there’s more to abuse survivors than just what or who happened to them, and they don’t deserve to have their worst experiences as their epitaph?  Maybe they’re allowed to live lives not determined by what’s been taken away from them, but instead what they’ve found to be enjoyable and life-affirming on their own?  Maybe you don’t have to make some Grand Poetic Statement about the banality of evil because we’re surrounded by it every day and don’t need it to be glamorized? Just freaking maybe?

That’s why, for all the movie’s faults, I prefer the way Hell House ended.  Because Ben gets the ending they wouldn’t let Will have—he gets to survive.  He gets to call Belasco out for the tiny shithead he’s always been instead of the roaring giant he pretends to be.  And he gets to say “screw this noise” and walk away from Hell House never to return, having managed to save one of his companions from a terrible fate.  It’s an incredibly cathartic scene where Ben is almost knocked off his feet multiple times by the spirit, but he keeps managing to stagger back up and give Belasco what for, and then he finally gets to leave.  After fifteen years of his life being haunted by Belasco, he slams the door in his face and gets on with his life.  A lot of abuse survivors never get that opportunity, and it was clearly a long time coming for the character.

TL;DR—Hannibal and The Legend of Hell House are a lot alike in both the terrible ways (their fascination with petty banal villains who are no more special than your average domestic abuser and their treatment of women) and the great ways (their protagonist being an abuse survivor who, while by no means the archetypal “perfect survivor”, is a largely a figure of cleverness and compassion), but Will Graham deserved the ending that Ben Fischer got, dammit.

#This is what I do instead of sleep... I really should sleep but this has been on my mind for a while... :P #nbc hannibal #the legend of hell house #hannibal negativity #(just in case) #will graham #ben fischer #the schemer speaks

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 89: Guest of Honor (finished)

Hey guys...I..I did it...I read it.  I don’t think I properly explained how I’m doing these rants.  I’m not just reading this page by page and listing off all my points as I go on, on this blog.  I’m reading these chapters all at once, really quick giving a few remarks on the discord, and then afterwards going back and doing typing these rants and going over every beat.  I do this so that I can be able to not only present my initial reactions, but also my reactions and feelings about the chapter overall.

Now you might be asking, “Amazil?  Who gives a shit?  Why are you telling us this?  Get the part where Abbey fist bumps Paulo’s jugular!” Well I’m telling you this, because it turns out my reasoning for splitting this chapter review in two was valid.  Because this chapter has a lot of cute shit, it’s got some really nice character building, it’s really cute, it really warmed me up.  

WHICH IS WHY THIS FUCKING SCENE IS SO FUCKING BULLSHIT!

LOOK AT THIS!

So we start off, everything’s fine.  Paulo’s being Paulo, that’s cool.  And hey look, everyone’s all dressed up that’s nice.  Even Stacey’s here! How great! Paulo doesn’t even get a chance to poke that much fun at them before

Oh hey, Daisy’s back!  and oh hey how awkward~ But awww look at how sappy they are, it’s actually sickeningly sweet.  

Luckily Paulo balances this out, with his personality and I like this.

He’s not being an ass, he’s not trying to be rude or anything.  He’s just saying how he feels, and he’s honest about it.  It’s refreshing y’know? and

oh no...

Are we seriously doing this RIGHT NOW?

Are you serious?!

HE LITERALLY HASN’T DONE ANYTHING YET!

YOU’RE NOT GONNA BUILD UP TO THIS OR ANYTHING?! YOU’RE JUST GONNA-

WHELP!  ALRIGHT THEN!  YOU WANTED IT, HERE IT IS!  HERE IT FUCKING IS!  I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT!

I’m right there with you, Paulo.  What the fuck is going on?!

OH THAT’S WHAT WE’RE DOING NOW?! IS THIS WHERE YOU’RE GOING?

well first of all...

That’s right, you don’t deserve the actual EVA version, you get the simpson’s version.  But I’m with you, Abbey because I too now know the kind of person you are! You know at first when people called you a white-knight character, I didn’t see a problem with that, your character was pretty alright.  In fact I was a solid Abbey X Daisy shipper, because I felt the two of you could work through each other’s problems and insecurities, and better each other.  And even when you became more self-righteous and jaded, I gave it a pass because y’know what?  You’ve been through a lot and you’re just trying to do what’s right. BUT THIS?!

THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!  What. The. Fuck?!  Coming from the guy who took advantage of attacking someone when they were unprepared and defenseless.  How the fuck can you stoop so low, while still grand standing on your high horse?  

You judgy, self-righteous, grand standing, holier than thou, cowardly piece of shit.  What the fuck are you talking about?!  First of all Paulo’s only been in three relationships so far.  and he didn’t have sex or do anything like that until Rachel!  And HIM taking advantage of girls?!  Which girl are you talking about?  Are you talking about his relationship with Tess where he was kind of being lead on?  Or do you mean his relationship with Jasmine!  Where he was bending over backwards for her, making as much time as possible for her, and trying his hardest to make it work, did all he could, and never tried to bang her; is that where he was taking advantage of a girl?!  Or are you talking about when he want on his sexcapades, where he only banged a total of TWO girls.  You might think he was taking advantage of them, until you remember THEY WERE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HIM TO GET REVENGE ON TESS!  

(except Rachel, because Rachel actually just loves Paulo and wanted to fuck him)

But wait!  Maybe you’re talking about him taking advantage of Lucy!  Are you arguing that Paulo was taking advantage of Lucy in her distressed state to make a relationship?

BECAUSE IF THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE SAYING

WELL I’M SORRY BUT I’VE SEEN THE FUTURE

AND   WE   WILL   GET   TO   THAT   LATER

Fuck you!  He literally didn’t do anything at all!  When I was going through this chapter, I was anxious to see what lead to this!  I was spoiled into knowing that this scene happens, but I was interested in diving into and picking apart what lead to this scene, and how we got here.  BUT NO!  WE DON’T GET THAT!  PAULO DIDN’T DO ANYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER TO WARRANT THIS SHIT!  THIS IS LITERALLY JUST ABBEY BEING A JEALOUS CONTROLLING LITTLE BITCH, WHO DOESN’T HAVE THE FUCKING DECENCY TO FACE SOMEONE IN A FAIR FUCKING FIGHT!  

HEY ABBEY!

HEY ABBEY I GOT A QUESTION FOR YA?

HOW MUCH ARE YOU PAYING YOUR THERAPIST?

CAUSE WHATEVER YOU’RE PAYING THEM IS TOO FUCKING MUCH!  

*sigh* this is the exact reason I stopped reading BCB years ago...Because when I was making January, I wanted to be true to the characters.  I wanted to give respect to the canon by trying to be as faithful as I could to these characters.  But I knew I had to stop reading, or else shit like this would happen.  Shit like December, that completely bastardizes the characters, magnifies an aspect of their personality until it consumes them and they become something else.  Something unforgivable.  These characters change their stances so often, I knew if I stayed true to the canon as it went on, that I’d just be adapting their characters and changing them again and again because of the canon.  

People can say what they want about me, but I don’t want this.  I don’t want to see these characters that inspired me, that I loved, and grew attached to become bastardized versions of themselves.  I made January, not because I wanted to make a better BCB, not because I thought I could do a better job, not to spit on everything BCB did wit December, but because I want to see these characters get out of this okay.  I want to see them grow, and fix themselves, be happy, and work through their problems.  I want everything to be okay.  But it’s not.  And it won’t be.

Anyway, after this Mike comes into the bathroom to check on Paulo. He realizes Paulo’s hurt and is concerned about him, but Paulo...

Paulo covers for Abbey, and believes that Abbey was right, and he’s just...

This isn’t fun anymore...

Boy Abbey, look at you.  It’s great seeing how much you care about your girlfriend’s interest.  

TFW the guy you choked out in the bathroom is more enthused about your girlfriend’s interests than you are.  Boy that’s...I can’t even laugh at this.

Anyway, Sue bitches at the group to get a move on, cause they’re part of a panel for something.  And Paulo decides that he’s gonna split, to avoid further confrontation or making a scene.  Daisy takes notice, and

I used to really like this character...

Anyway, look at that!  Mike’s actually taking this seriously, makes sense given his own dealing with abuse.  HOLY SHIT THIS CHAPTER JUST MADE ME LIKE MIKE FOR A SECOND.  JESUS ABBEY, YOU MUST’VE FUCKED UP REAL BAD!

but wait a second...

is that?

*gasp*

IT’S MAH BOY!  McCAIN IS IN THE HOUSE!  WHAT IS THIS CHAPTER!?  IS THIS THE CURSE OF THE MONKEY’S PAW?!

Fuck you, Abbey no one gives a shit.

Anyway, Daisy does the right thing and takes Paulo home. And y’know...

This shit’s still cute...

This part is pretty nice, but....

it feels so hollow...

This is why I split this rant in half.  Because just as I thought, that scene destroys this chapter.  It’s not even that everything before it is great, the stuff after it is also pretty good. But that scene is just so fucking enfuriating that it taints everything around it.  When I heard about this scene, it was all I heard about.  No one talked about the rest of this chapter, no one brought up how fucking adorable Paulo and Daisy are in this chapter.  No one brings up how well they actually play off each other here.  No.  The only thing that matters is that Abbey strangles Paulo in the bathroom.  That’s all there is.  And I don’t blame them.  This is the exact reason I hate BCB.  That scene was not set up properly, there was no build up to that.  And it’s not like I don’t enjoy myself a good gut wrenching emotional scene.  But if I’ve learned anything from reading so many webcomics, it’s that a scene like this should feel like a knife in the gut.

specifically a knife to the gut.  Because it’s from the front.  You see it coming.  You know it’s coming, and you can look into the eyes of the author as they tell you why this is happening.  And you accept it.  You know that this sadness, this bitter taste in your mouth was done with purpose, and it had to happen this way.  

BCB doesn’t do that.  It stabs you in the back.  It lulls you into a false sense of security before pulling the rug out from under you.  It’s predictable now.  Every time something nice happens, when the characters are finally in a pretty good place, that’s when shit hits the fan.  That’s when this shit happens.  And I’m sick of it.  This chapter is a sugary sweet delicious donut with a razor blade inside it.  And it’s clear that all this sweet cute shit was just to butter you up, but no amount of sugar will make that blade go down any easier.  

This is the chapter that killed Abbey.  And I think the worst part is...there are still people who will defend this character, defend his actions, all because of what happened to him in the past.  And to those, I say...

I get it.  Trauma in all its shapes and forms can severely affect a person.  It can change the way we think, the way we behave, the way we perceive the things around us.  It can make us do reprehensible things, and act out against those we love, or those just trying to help.  It’s a terrible thing, what it does.  

But no matter what.  Do not let your trauma, or instability control you.  Don’t let it define you.  And most importantly.  Don’t let it excuse you.  I have hesitated to make rants like this, for years.  Because of my history with Veronica Vera.  I had been told so many times that I shouldn’t speak out about this shit, even if I softened my words because her BPD would make her take this in a way I don’t want her to.  But there was a valuable lesson I learned over these years.  When I was taking care of my older brother who attempted suicide and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.  

As a part-time college student, with a credit card my mom let me use I was in charge of buying his medication.  I took him to his appointments, I took him where he wanted to go, I did everything to support him.  And in return, I’d find the pills outside their bottles uneaten and lying on counters.  I’d find him drinking instead of taking his medication, he’d be screaming and yelling at an empty house while I hid in my room to escape.  I’d buy locks for my door and constantly keep them locked even when I was at home, because I found he’d use and steal my things when I was gone or he thought I wouldn’t notice.  From that I learned a lesson that I hold today.  That was probably what gave me the strength to start January and make my own fan comics for BCB.

I learned that when you find yourself suffering, dragged down, and going insane yourself because of someone else’s mental illness.  

Then that person’s mental illness, shouldn’t be your problem.  

Maybe I’m just projecting here.  Maybe I’m taking this too far, and reading into things too much, applying my own experiences to this character and using that to excuse my opinions on their behavior.

Maybe that’s what you’re doing too, when you excuse Abbey’s behavior.

The difference is, I want to see these characters be better than this.  And I don’t want to see these other characters have to break because of someone else’s trauma.  I want these characters to make it out okay.  

But I know that’s not the case.

Fuck this scene.

#Bittersweet Candy Bowl #This kills the Amazil #rant