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#rory has a sexuality crisis
cfwildfirefacades · 1 year
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(—) ★ spotted!! GWENDOLYN ALPEN on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 22 year old looks like HASLTON SAGE, but i don’t really see it. while  the REALITY TV STAR/TIKTOKER/SINGER/FIGURE SKATER is known for being EMPATHETIC my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be GUARDED i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song STAY by RIHANNA and MICKEY EKKO  {she/her / female} - penned by SUSHI
BASICS
Name: Gwendolyn Lorelai Alpen Nicknames/Alias: Gwen, Rory Face Claim: Halston Sage Age: 22 Gender: Female Sexuality: Heterosexual Date/Place of Birth: Pending in Upstate New York Currently: Los Angeles, CA Nationality: American Occupation: Reality TV Star, TikToker, Singer, Figure Skater
PERSONALITY
Positives/Virtues/Skills: Loyal: giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution. Patient: able to accept or tolerate delays, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious. Humble: having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance. Selfless: concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one's own; unselfish. Flaws/Weaknesses: Naive: (of a person or action) showing a lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment; (of a person) natural and unaffected; innocent Guarded: cautious and having possible reservations. Stubborn: having or showing dogged determination not to change one's attitude or position on something, especially in spite of good arguments or reasons to do so. Conflict-Averse: has a tendency to avoid disagreements and prefer not to confront issues directly
Favourite colour? Yellow and Baby Blue Favourite foods? Tilapia, Shrimp, Popcorn, Edamame, Smoothies, Italian Wedding Style soup, Dark Chocolate, Fruit in general Favourite music? Indie, Pop, R&B, Singer/Songwriter Favorite books? Romance, Sci-Fi, Fantasy Fears: tbd Moral Alignment: Lawful Good
RELATIONSHIPS
Parents: Jackson Alpen (Father) Alessandra Alpen (Mother) Siblings: Garrett Alpen (Older Brother) Gabriel Alpen (Quintuplet Brother) Erin Alpen (Quintuplet Sister) Unnamed Alpen (Quintuplet Sister) Greyson Alpen (Quintuplet Sister)
Children: N/A
Other family: N/A Spouse: N/A Ex-Partners: TBD Friends: Esmeralda Monroe (Best Friend)
PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION
Build: 5′7″ 123.5 lbs, lean, muscular Hair Colour: Red Eye Colour: Blue Distinguishing Marks: Couple of scars from figure skating
Accomplishments: 3 released albums, 5 top 100 hits, 2nd place in figure skating at age 7, 1st place in figure skating at age 9, Gold medal in Grand Prix Figure Skating at age 15, 1st place in World Juniors Figure Skating at age 17, Silver Medal in Pairs Olympics 2022 at age 21, Gold Medal in Women’s Free Skate Olympics 2022 at age 21
Regrets: TBD Secrets: She’s currently suffering from an identity crisis; She loves her siblings but sometimes she hates being a quint (mainly from the fact of how they grew up in front of cameras and have come to be known mainly as 1/5 of the Alpen quints)
HISTORY
Born 1/5 of the Alpen Quintuplets, life in front of the cameras began even before entry into the world.
Life on the ice was a calm to every storm she endured, the music surrounding her, the way her blades sounded as the sliced atop the ice, she started early about 4.5 before her first performance at age 5. It was thrilling, it was hers, something she didn’t have to share with her siblings. 
Growing up as 1 of a set of 5 had it’s ups and downs but no matter what, through all of it, it was nice knowing that she always had a friend, always had someone to turn to when she needed it.
The older she got, however, the further disconnected from herself that she felt and by age 14/15, Gwendolyn found herself going through an identity crisis (something she’s still struggling with to this day).
At 16, Gwen began having her friends call her Rory, a nickname that was short for her middle name, Lorelai, in hopes that it would help make her feel more of herself as an individual rather than America’s favorite set of Quints.
17 saw the release of her first single and by 19 her first ever album was recorded and released. 
Making it the Olympics last year was a dream come true and placing both silver in pairs and gold in women’s free skate only fulfilled the dreams of a young girl that had always dreamed of making it that far.
When she’s not on the ice or in the recording studio, 50% of the time she can be found making TikToks and the other 50% of the time she can be found with her best friend, Esme (and there’s even times where both mesh perfectly together)
Gwen has been on a journey of self-discovery ever since their reality show ended. 
Her siblings are everything to her which is one of the only reasons why she agreed to starting up a new reality show of their adult lives, not wanting to disappoint any of them.
CAREER
Discography
Voiceclaim: Dove Cameron
Midnight Thoughts (Released, age 19)
Nothing Ever Changes 3:03
Love’s A Waste 3:01
Reason To Stay 3:08
If By Chance 5:02
Save Me 5:05
Version Of Me 3:02
Friends Don’t 3:09 
Lessons Learned (Released, Age 20)
High School Me 3:24
You Can Have Him 3:17
It’ll Be Okay 3:50
What It Means To Be A Girl 2:49
This Is How I Learn To Say No 2:23
Like My Father 3:03
Another Year, Another Trauma (Released, age 21)
Tattoos 3:02
Make Him Wait 3:24
Could’ve Just Left Me Alone 2:28
When You Say My Name 2:28
I Don’t Burn 2:53
Body Language 2:53
10 Things I Hate About You 2:37
Do It Like A Girl 2:43
Dear No One 3:18
All In My Head 3:31
Bad Idea (Released, age 22)
Girl Like Me 2:29
Bad Idea 2:36
Breakfast 2:29
Boyfriend 2:33
Taste of You (ft. Rezz) 2:54
 Genie In A Bottle 3:49
Out Of Touch 3:16
We Belong 2:28
Bloodhsot/Waste 6:28
Remember Me (ft. BIA) 3:43
So Good 2:36
If Only 3:51
Singles (Released, Various ages)
Faking It 2:47 (age 18)
Don’t Tell My Mom 3:11 (age 17)
What Made You Think? 3:41 (age 20)
Monster’s Ink 3:56 (age 22)
Boytoy 1:50 (age 18)
I’m A Mess 3:16 (age 21)
Born Ready 2:07 (Released for Marvel Cinematic Universe)
Figure Skating
Gwendolyn’s first performance (age 5)
Christmas Recital (age 5)
First competition (age 7, 4th place)
Free Skate performance (age 7, 2nd place)
Houston Fall Invitational (age 9, 3rd place)
Competition (age 9, 1st place)
US Champions (age 14, 4th place)
Grand Prix Debut (age 15, Gold)
World Juniors (age 17, 1st place)
Winter Recital (age 17)
Competition (age 19, Disqualified)
Olympics Pairs Free Skate 2022 (age 21, Silver)
Olympics Women’s Free Skate 2022 (age 21, gold)
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diwatera · 3 years
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LGBTQ+ Movies I Watched Recently (Part 2)
Happiest Season (2020) dir. Clea DuVall
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Short Summary: Abby plans on proposing to Harper when they visit Harper’s family for the holidays. Her plans get derailed when she learns that Harper hasn’t come out to her family yet.
Why you should watch it: Not gonna lie, Mackenzie Davis drew me to this movie; I’ve been in love with her ever since San Junipero came out. Add Kristen Stewart, Aubrey Plaza and Dan Levy to the mix and I’m sold. If you want a sapphic romance with a happy ending, this one’s for you. 
Été 85 (2020) dir.  François Ozon
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Short Summary: Alexis recounts his six-week love affair with David during the summer of ‘85. 
Why you should watch it: If you love 80s aesthetic and music, you definitely should watch this. The movie made me nostalgic of that decade and I wasn’t even alive back then! It’s a whirlwind summer romance reminiscent of Call Me by Your Name but with a more devastating twist.
Getting Go: The Go Doc Project (2013) dir. Cory James Krueckeberg
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Short Summary: An obsessed college boy pursues his internet crush through the pretext of making a documentary about him.
Why you should watch it: The script and the acting are the one-two punch of this film. The writing is incredibly genuine, and both of the actors’ performances made the lines feel even more natural. I’m not the biggest fan of mockumentary-style films, but this one felt like it was a recording of my own life. Hyper-obsessive college grad with a Tumblr blog? Might as well have called out half the population of this damn site.
Pihalla (2017) dir. Nils-Erik Ekblom
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Short Summary: Miku and Elias find themselves, and each other, during a summer in the Finnish countryside.
Why you should watch it: I’m a sucker for gays in the countryside™ and although this one is not quite up there with God’s Own Country and Call Me by Your Name, it still makes for a good watch. Miku as a character and his relationship with his parents was chaotic and fun. His relationship with Elias felt really natural and dreamy. 
You, Me and Him (2017) dir. Daisy Aitkens
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Short Summary: Olivia, a mature responsible lawyer, wants to have a baby, but her girlfriend Alex isn’t ready for the responsibility. Things get even more complicated when their flirty neighbour, John, joins the picture. 
Why you should watch it: It is one of the most feel-good lesbian romcoms I have seen in a while. But I warn you, there are some dark parts that can really sneak up on you. Yeah, it’s hilarious, but damn it made me ugly cry, too. Oh, and if you want to see David Tennant as an alpha male douchebag, here’s your chance. (CW: **spoiler alert** p̶r̶e̶g̶n̶a̶n̶c̶y̶ ̶l̶o̶s̶s̶ )
Giant Little Ones (2018) dir. Keith Behrman 
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Short Summary: Franky and Ballas have been best friends since childhood, both on the swimming team, both incredibly popular. But after an incident during Franky’s birthday, they quickly fall apart and Franky falls from grace.
Why you should watch it: I think the film captures just how tumultuous coming-of-age stories are. Franky is going through his own journey of self-identity, and I’m happy that the movie didn’t rush in with labels. The conversation Franky has with his dad at the end also hits hard.  (CW: physical assault, allusions to sexual assault)
Our Love Story (2016) dir. HyunJu Lee
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Short Summary: A fine arts student meets an attractive bartender, and the two women begin an intimate relationship.
Why you should watch it: It’s a very intimate love story that isn’t rushed or dragged out for too long. We definitely see Yoon-Jo and Ji-Soo’s relationship bloom from start to end, but it’s not mind-numbingly boring to watch. Raw and unembellished, I definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a realistic portrayal of wlw romance.
Die Mitte der Welt (2016) dir. Jakob M. Erwa
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Short Summary: The film follows Phil and his relationship with his family, his best friend, and a newcomer at his school, Nicholas.
Why you should watch it: This is technically a second watch for me, and I’m glad I rewatched it, because I was able to catch some glaring red flags that I missed the first time. I love this movie in spite of all the heartache it caused me. The story, especially the deal with Phil’s family, struck a chord in me. And the shots! Visually stunning as well! 
Les Amours Imaginaires (2010) dir. Xavier Dolan
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Short Summary: Marie and Francis’ friendship is put to the test when a beautiful boy called Nicolas comes between them. 
Why you should watch it: Watch it for the visuals -- the colors, the costumes, the cast. Seriously, the actors included here may as well be kept in the Louvre: Xavier Dolan, Neils Schneider, Monia Chokri, hell, even a cameo from Louis Garrel! Dolan said it himself that this is a shallow film, but it’s worth the watch just to see Neils Schneider wearing heart-shaped glasses.
Closet Monster (2015)  dir. Stephen Dunn
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Short Summary: A creative and driven teenager is desperate to escape his hometown and the haunting memories of his turbulent childhood.
Why you should watch it: Right off the bat, I am going to say that this film is dark. I tried watching it back in college but tapped out within the first ten minutes because something traumatic happens. Then I tried again about a week ago, finished it this time. It’s actually a very moving film. It’s violent and gory in some parts, but also ridiculous and wholesome in other parts. IT HAS A TALKING HAMSTER NAMED BUFFY! BUFFY WAS THE STAR OF THIS MOVIE FOR ME. (CW: gay bashing/sexual assault)
Straight Up (2020) dir. James Sweeney
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Short Summary: Todd and Rory are intellectual soul mates. He might be gay but she might not care.
Why you should watch it: The dialogue in this film is undeniably sharp and witty. Loved the fast-paced back and forth between the two main characters as they discuss relationships, sex, gender, and more. James Sweeney and Katie Findlay’s chemistry just pulled you into the screen. It was funny, it was sweet, it was heartwrenching, it was great! (CW: allusions to sexual assault)
Latter Days (2003) dir. C. Jay Cox
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Short Summary: A promiscuous gay party animal falls for a young Mormon missionary, leading to crisis, cliché, and catastrophe.
Why you should watch it: I saw this in santiagonex’s top 20 LGBTQ+ films with happy endings, and I honestly thought it was gonna be a feel-good watch. Instead, I got a rollercoaster melodrama filled with early 2000s gay culture, religious guilt, buttcheeks, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Needless to say, I got more than I bargained for. (CW: self-harm, conversion therapy)
The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Blythewood
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Short Summary:  A covert team of immortal mercenaries are suddenly exposed and must now fight to keep their identity a secret just as an unexpected new member is discovered.
Why you should watch it: Okay, I was debating whether I should include this here, because it’s not necessarily an LGBTQ+ film as much as it is an action film with queer characters. I decided to include it, because JESUS! I have never seen such respectful and well-written representation of queer characters and relationships. Joe and Nicky are the most unproblematic couple in history. PERIOD. Pray for sequels, everyone. This is the kind of representation we deserve in mainstream media. 
. . .
Click here for more LGBTQ+ film recs
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saintemiliosandoz · 4 years
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book recs in the time of the coronavirus
by popular demand! (i count six people commenting on my post as popular demand). remember to try to find these digitally at your local library, or maybe ORDER THEM FROM YOUR LOCAL INDIE? they’re coming on hard times my friends. i suggest indiebound if you dont wanna look up what your local indie book store is. let’s try not to give amazon anymore money, yeah?
so you’re living during an pandemic. do you want to read...
BOOKS ABOUT PAN/EPIDEMICS? yes you do, here’s my rec list for that
wanderers - chuck wendig. don’t follow this dude on twitter he’s so fucking annoying but he’s a good writer. this follows a group of people whose family members/friends have been struck by a fast-spreading sleepwalking disease that causes them to all move towards the same mysterious location. it’s a big book at around 800 pages but it’s good as hell
wilder girls - rory power. a young adult book that’s like annihilation meets lord of the flies, where a disease called the TOX has ravaged what could be the world, but all we know is the isolated maine island where an all girls boarding school once stood. wildly grotesque, creepy, and gay as fuck. had a good time with it!
the southern reach trilogy (annihilation, authority, acceptance) - jeff vandermeer. don’t watch the movie it fucking SUCKS. this maybe pushes the term pandemic/epidemic, but the series broadly follows a group of scientists trying to figure out why there’s a spot in the world called area x is transforming nature, and it is creeping forward, ready to swallow the earth whole. 
a people’s history of the vampire uprising - raymond a. villareal. what it says in the title! told in an oral history format, through interview transcripts, newspaper articles, radio interviews, etc. has been compared to world war z but for vampires, but i’ve never read that so you know, do with that what you will. 
SO YOU DON’T WANNA READ ABOUT DISEASES? FINE THEN. 
SCIFI
the vanished birds - simon jimenez. this book made me WEEEEEP. whew. talk about the power of chosen families. it’s hard to summarize, but generally the book is about a boy, with a power that is connected through music. and it’s about a woman, who takes him in and raises him and loves him. and it’s about another woman, brilliant and callous and terrible, whose love for another woman saves her in the end. 
the luminous dead - caitlin starling. creepy and fun! it follows a woman named gyre who is hired to explore a cave. of course, all is not what it seems, and the only person she has to help her is em, the woman in her ear guiding her through each level of the cave. it’s gay, it’s scary, it’s weird! 
this is how you lose the time war - max gladstone and amal el-mohtar. a thrilling and beautiful novella that takes place during a strange scifi world where red and blue, two enemy combatants, fight and fall in love through letters. 
bonds of brass - emily skrutskie. this is that finnpoe book people on twitter were freaking out about. it comes out in april, and it is escapist fun nonsense. i read it in two days and my roommate read it on our first quarantine day and thoroughly enjoyed it. it is about a hotshot pilot whose in love with a prince, and a scrappy slip of a girl who latches onto them both.
red rising series - pierce brown - now ive only read two, but i did enjoy them! it’s very epic scifi that has to do with how being from a different planet is dependent on your class system and those from mars are all fucked. and our intrepid hero is from mars and they decide to use him as a weapon to destroy the entire class system. it’s fun!
FANTASY
the starless sea - erin morgenstern. i have talked this up a lot on here. so quick summary, a book about books! a book about stories and libraries and a boy who falls into the lush, imaginative world of stories within stories, and who falls in love with a beautiful, broody storyteller.
silver in the wood - emily tesh. an extremely short novella about the wild man of the woods and the beautiful folkorist named silver who falls for him, and the creature of the woods who threatens to tear them apart.
lost boy: the true story of captain hook - christina henry. what if captain hook was peter pan’s first lost boy? that’s the premise of this wonderfully grotesque book, where peter pan is more like a god than a playful child, cruel and compelling at the same time.
gods of jade and shadow - silva moreno garcia. when a young woman accidentally wakes up the mayan god of death, she binds them together (also accidentally) and must accompany him to take back the throne from his twin brother
robbergirl - s.t. gibson - based off of...a fairytale i do not know, but it’s a super charming f/f novel about the princess of the robbers and a charming girl-witch she tries to rob, but then gets drawn into helping her find her missing brother
the girl who drank the moon - kelly barnhill. this book still makes me just feel so WARM when i think about it. it is such a lovely piece of fiction about magic and family and love. there is a witch in the woods, so everyone says, and once a year a baby is sacrificed to her so that the town does not fall into bad luck. but all is not what it seems, and we get to see one of the sacrificed babies grow up, and the real truth about the witch in the woods and the town behind the wall.
the devourers - indra das. gay werewolves in kolkata. a woman getting revenge on her rapist. earthy, gorgeous writing that makes you feel like you can smell everything that’s happening. what’s not to love?
LITERARY FICTION
home fire - kamila shamsie. a modern retelling of antigone that takes place in great britain during the height of islamophobic hate. i love retellings of greek shit but i dont actually know the source stuff very well, so if you’re like me you’ll probably love it! if you are very into the source material, you might like it less!
less - andrew sean greer. a middle-aged gay writer living post AIDS crisis has no idea how to get old, since all the older gay people he ever knew died. when his ex invites him to his wedding, he’s basically like, fuck THIS, and cashes in on all the invitations he has ever received to travel away long enough that he misses the wedding. i found this book just really beautiful and achy and stunning. 
the house of broken angels - luis alberto urrea. this follows the dying patriarch of a mexican-american family who wants to celebrate one last birthday before he goes. really really loved this book.
melmoth - sarah perry. probably more gothic than literary but i dont read much gothic so it’s going in here. it follows a creature who roams the globe, haunting those who have been complicit in tragedies big and small. it chronicles four stories, the main one being in prague. unsettling and wonderful.
the water cure - sophie mackintosh. fragmented, non-linear, and horrifying, this chronicles the story of three sisters raised in isolation with their cruel father, and complicit mother. one day their father disappears, and men wash up on their shore, and these sisters find their presence both disturbing and thrilling. it’s a fucked up look at abuse in the hands of men and the women complicit in it.
naamah - sarah blake. the untold story of noah’s (of the biblical ark and the floods) wife. follow her journey in isolation, her strange relationship with an angel who may or may not be real, her struggle to keep a level head for her family, and her fragmented feelings about god. super weird but i loved it.
on earth we’re briefly gorgeous - ocean vuong. a poet’s debut novel, definitely semi autobiographical, but it tells the story of a boy we just know as little dog. it is told through letters to his mother, his mother who cannot read. it talks fraught familial relationships, budding sexuality, and that good old immigrant trauma
bunny - mona awad. this literally defies genre so i’m putting it here. it’s like if stephen king and donna tartt had a baby, and that baby smoked crack and wrote this. it follows a girl getting her mfa in creative writing, and how she falls into this group who calls themselves the bunnies. that’s like....all i can say lol it is fucking WILD
MEMOIR/NONFICTION
crux: a cross border memoir - jean guerrero. follows a journalist as she tries to figure out why her dad is the way he is, and how to find him. it took me a long time to read this but i found it extremely compelling.
the undocumented americans - karla cornejo villavicencio. out 3/24! this is about the undocumented immigrants nobody talks about. not the dreamers, not the model minorities, but the regular people. the construction workers, the delivery people, the hair stylists. it talks about the undocumented people who were on the front lines helping at 9/11, during hurricane sandy, in flint, michigan. definitely a book to read
in the dream house - carmen maria machado. heavy trigger warnings here bc it is about domestic emotional abuse. it chronicles machado’s relationship, and her first one with a girl, and the severe emotional abuse she experienced during her time with her. it’s written in experimentally and i loved all of it.
SHORT STORY
sabrina & corina - kali fajardo-anstine. stories that all center chicana indigenous women in colorado, written by a chicana indigenous woman herself. not a bad story in here
lot - bryan washington. somewhat interconnected stories that all take place in houston and center around afro-latino men dealing with poverty, gentrification, machismo, and sexuality.
HISTORICAL FICTION
the mercies - kiran millwood hargrave. a tale based on the true story of a town where every single able-bodied man died during a freak ocean storm while fishing, and the women learned to care for themselves. they sent a man to the town, a god-fearing man to save these women from the devil, which leads to a horrific time of witch trials and burnings, and one of the town girls and the man’s wife fall in love. just. really stunningly written
cantoras - carolina de robertis. i have shoved this into so many people’s hands at this point. READ IT. it centers five uruguayan women who call themselves cantoras (which was slang for queer woman). they come together to buy a beach house on an isolated island where they can be themselves, and the book follows their lives as they get older, always coming to that beach cottage as a touchpoint. IT’S SO GOOD.
ok that’s all i got for now. go forth and have fun!
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daydreamreality · 3 years
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Thinking about actor availability, and how that affects my perception of Jess and how strongly I feel about shipping Literati.
Really thought this would only be a few paragraphs going over the points where Jess could have disappeared never to be seen again, but it turned into a freaking essay so LONG POST warning if you decide to click ahead. 
If the last we saw of Jess was hanging up the phone in the season 3 finale: "Well, it was fun ride while it lasted. That's about how I thought this would end." Still have a lot empathy for this kid and wish him well, but you screwed with Rory's heart like I knew would happen. Was that intentional? No. But he was so immature, out of control with his emotions, zero communication skills, not trusting in others...the list of reasons why he wasn't ready for a serious relationship, even if the feelings were serious, goes on. There was no way Rory wasn't going to end up as collateral damage in his personal breakdown that I could feel was going to happen. And this is the thought I had as a teenager with no dating experience watching this show for the first time. Did I want to date him? Hell no! I could see that trainwreck from a mile away. Rory was naïve to put her heart in his trust but that's part of her good qualities - she's sees the best in people and champions for them. I could go on a tangent about why exactly Jess was such an important character to me when I first watched the show (and probably why he stuck around unconsciously until I decided on a whim to rewatch GG in lockdown) but...I don't know, maybe some other time.
In the context of the entire show, I would look back at the relationship as my favorite one to watch of Rory's in the series (The build-up! The connection! Their deep belief in and respect for each other! The angst!) and Jess being a really fun character to root for (and yell at) but endgame? It was a short lived but important relationship. It’s fun to think about what ifs and how circumstances could have changed to make it work, but we can move on.
The ill-fated spin-off: I have no idea what this show would have been about except focusing on Jess and Jimmy and I’m not about to theorize. I still like Jess at this point so it would probably make me like him more since we’re getting a deeper dive into his character, but in regard to shipping him with Rory, this opinion would not change unless he all of sudden showed some great maturity. But I doubt this show would have even gotten a whole season so that probably wouldn’t happen. And then he’s living in California…this is too much, moving on.
If the last we see of Jess is in season 4: About the same feeling as above. Life, as expected, has not been treating Jess well. At all. His jadedness and hostility is at an all-time high when he shows up to get his car. Do I see the reasons informing his behavior and have empathy (once again, for a KID)? Yes, but he's also being a jerk. "The years don't seem to have hardened you." Well this year sure has!
I love the "I love you" scene but too little too late, buddy. That's probably why I love it, it's all a bit hopeless. Just keep shoveling the angst at me. I do like fics where this scene is reimagined with Rory running after him to give him a piece of her mind or Jess finding some other words to say (I really feel like he had more to say there but got overwhelmed), and coming to a tentative reconciliation: exchanging numbers, "don't fall off the face of the earth," but getting back together? No. You hurt her and you're feeling the consequences. Rory is not obligated or responsible to reciprocate those feelings, nor is she in a place to do that right now. 
But season 4 does cement that Luke and Jess's relationship is one of my favorites in the entire show. There's probably a whole other post in me regarding that so I'll keep it brief. Because of his respect for Luke, Jess makes tentative steps towards maturing in interpersonal relationships. He shows some vulnerability and honesty with a veil of sarcasm and awkwardness because, well, it's JESS.
But then of course this all goes to hell when applied to Rory. Sometimes I like to think how this dorm scene would have gone down if Rory stepped back for a second and went, "Hold on. You're not making any sense, chill out," and they could have talked a bit and had a similar reconciliation like I said above because I really think that’s all he was going for - to talk to her, apologize, and make an attempt at reciprocation like he did with Luke. But getting back together here? Canonically, he hasn't made enough progress. He set aside his personal feelings to be in his mother's wedding and used the knowledge from the self-help book to apologize to Luke, but I don't think the book's message has sunk in all the way yet and he’s still got a massive chip on his shoulder preventing him from making a good life for himself. Getting rejected by Rory here is an important moment and I really like it. It's fun to think about the AU if Rory had said yes (hello road trip!), but it's very in-character for her to not be able to handle Jess's crisis and just shouting "NO, make it stop." This is one of my proudest of Rory moments: Protect your heart girl, he ain't ready. The seeds have been planted that Jess will continue to grow and I wish him well on his journey. Endgame material? Nah. Goodbye forever, take care my friend...
Even though this scene doesn't feel like closure at all, I really thought this was the end of Jess Mariano. So imagine my surprise when -
SEASON 6: HE'S BACK. Coming out of the shadows, [literally] it's Jess Marianoooo *air horns* *confetti* *jazz hands* *Jess rolls his eyes at the fanfare*
Alright, that's out of my system. But for real that's what my mind did at this point. For context, the way I watched this show for the first time was getting the DVDs from the library while a couple of seasons were still on the air; when a new season was available to borrow, I would rewatch all the seasons up to the current point so my memories and favorite parts of the show are seasons 1-4. Because I was not bingeing the show all the way through, seeing Jess here seemingly so different didn’t feel out of place. A shock, yes! A happy surprise. But nothing about him seemed OOC. A year had gone by, we’d seen some signs of maturity in him, and getting rejected by Rory was a big kick in the ass for him to start making bigger changes in his life. I really cannot emphasize how satisfying and sensical his positive character development felt to me. 
The slight maturity we see in season 4 in its full potential. Jess is still Jess: guarded, self-deprecating, and a bit prickly but he shows a sense of calm and feeling more comfortable in his skin. This is really satisfying to see as someone who always "knew" there was a kind and capable heart underneath the exterior just like Rory did, and that tough guy, must protect myself at all costs posturing has melted away. But that side of him isn't gone, it's not like the writing did a complete 180 on his character. I love this. He's just...more at peace with himself but he's not a different person, and he's found something to direct his focus and intellect on. He's made his peace with Luke, and now he has something of worth to show Rory to try to mend that hurt as well.
Yes, it would have been nice to see how and why he decided to write a book and work in publishing but this course of events is not out of left field, nor is Jess enough of a main character at this point for scenes like this to be necessary to the show unless they were tied to Luke and showing another side of him. Jess has shown in the past that he has a good work ethic if he feels it is worth it. The problem wasn't him being lazy, just poor decision making and focusing on RIGHT NOW, "I need to get out of Stars Hollow and live my life," and not considering the consequences of his actions. Which as an immature kid whose life had told him he can only depend on himself...not out of the ordinary. The dude’s life passion is literature and has probably read every book he can get his hands on, it’s not crazy that he had his own story in him. 
Here is where Literati becomes endgame material for me. Prior to the revival it was always my feeling that post-series they would reconnect while Rory was on the campaign or afterwards. It would be low drama (except for Lorelai criticism), slowly gaining trust in each other again, and eventually starting a committed relationship within a year or two of being friends with sexual tension (lol). They made their adolescent mistakes, hurt each other, but learned from it and started over on infinitely better footing.
The match just makes sense to me at this point for many reasons; I don't feel like I need to list them all out because you can go to any pro-Literati post and I'll probably agree with the majority of the points. The biggest issue they had was timing: “Right heart, wrong time.” I like especially how they even out each other's more extreme personality traits. For example, Rory learning from Jess to consider her own feelings instead of sacrificing herself for others, and Jess considering others before himself all the time. Or professionally, I can see Jess encouraging her to step away from her ultra-organized, “everything has to be just so” ways when it benefits her to seize an opportunity right now, don’t worry about the details, you got this. Maybe Jess has another book in him, but his self-deprecation and disorganization prevent him from getting it done but Rory helps him be more objective and focused. There’s this…synergistic energy I feel with the two of them: they’re great by themselves, but form something better together.
Judging from Rory's reactions towards him in this season, I don't think it's OOC for her to have romantic feelings for him again. She's extremely proud of his accomplishments and not unhappy to see him (not holding a grudge). They fall back into their comfortable dynamic even if it makes them both a bit nervous. Now some could argue that this means that Rory only wants to be friends with him but...when have Jess and Rory ever been just friends? If "Another Year in the Life" comes out (I've got serious doubts but would love to be proved wrong) and Rory rejects him or he's not even a part of it, fine! But I just don't see anything in canon that says explicitly she'll never feel romantic towards him again.
Now the kiss...there's a lot of ways to read that scene. Do I think Jess was in the right to assume "everything is fixed" as a go ahead? No. But that's part of why he is such an engaging character: he's impulsive and acts in accordance to his feelings, and yes, this gets himself and others in trouble. 
Do I think Rory purposefully went to the open house to "use" Jess to get back at Logan? No. I think she genuinely wanted to support him, and Logan being out of town meant she wouldn't have to explain why it was important for her to go. I see the kiss paralleling the one in 2x22 but instead of Rory not being able to hold her feelings in any longer, Jess initiates. The way I see it is she was unaware she still had lingering feelings towards him (not out of nowhere, I mean their relationship has "unfinished business" written all over it) and that scared the crap out of her, just like at the end of season 2. So she runs away to the "safe space" that is being with Logan. Because she's in love with Logan, she has a sense of obligation towards him, and Rory has shown many times that she does not react well to change and highly emotional situations.
Is this scene a deal breaker for a future relationship between them? I don't think so. Jess says that he isn't sorry she came, which I take as "I'll never be sorry to see you no matter the context." Yes, this hurt him and made him pretty mad, but I don't think he's holding a grudge against her for this; even in the moment he's more concerned that someone cheated on her and her safety getting to her car. He sets a boundary that he doesn't deserve his feelings to be pushed around like this and Rory agrees. Not that I condone this sort of tit-for-tat hurting of each other (which I don't think Rory was going for in the first place) but it's almost like...that cycle is now broken. The whole scene is so open ended, it doesn't feel like a "good bye forever" to Jess.
"But Rory is so in love with Logan!" I don't know about you, but that "I'm in love with him despite all the bad he's done..." sounds so defeated and sad. It's almost like she's resigned herself to being in love with Logan. The first time I watched this, I thought this was foreshadowing that the relationship was on its last legs. To keep them together, Logan almost dies so Rory will bury her hurt out of guilt for holding a grudge against him. She is completely entitled to feeling hurt by Logan's actions, and I hate that she feels like she has to do this. But it happened, moving on.
"But Rory is a cheater!" When I think about Rory's characteristics, "cheater" doesn't make the list. She feels entitled to the men that she's loved and this isn’t super great behavior, but I don't view her as inherently unfaithful or okay with cheating. I give her leeway on the season 2 Jess kiss because she was a teenager with a lot of conflicting emotions and everything around her was pushing her to stay with Dean. The season 4 Dean debacle...she was still very young and naïve. I put most of the blame on Dean for manipulating her; I say most because if Rory really wanted to be with him, she should have been more sure of the status of his marriage, but I repeat: he manipulated her and she was very young and naïve. I dare to say she has been conditioned to view Dean as nothing but safe and trustworthy so why wouldn't she believe him... Season 4 was all about her being out of sorts when away from the Stars Hollow bubble and trying to reclaim some normalcy. Narratively, I see why this makes sense and I don't think the intention was to say “Rory is okay with cheating,” but to show very explicitly that Rory isn't perfect. This show goes to extremes, at this point I kind of just accept it and don't jump to "this person/character is terrible!" Certain characteristics and behaviors I have less patience for (mild) or will make me lose all respect for a character (extreme - honestly very few GG characters fall into this category for me); you may feel differently and that's fine. When other plot points in this series are much more bizarre and OOC, while this turn of events makes me uncomfortable and angry, at least it makes sense to me.
The 6x18 kiss I've already said that I don't think Rory had premeditated intent to cheat on Logan judging from the fact that Jess initiated it; yes, she went with it nor was it a complete surprise, I get this. The "I couldn't even cheat on him..." line I think is an outburst of guilt and regret, not her saying she had a plan in mind. Maybe I'm being too soft on her, I don't know...she did stay there late but maybe she just got lost in the book while waiting to say bye. We've seen her not know how to deal with conflicting emotions and change to her status quo, and attempt to distract herself when life isn't panning out the way she wants and not think about the consequences in the moment, so I don't find this scene OOC or intentionally cruel. The revival...I don’t think I can even go there right now because it would just be me screaming incoherently about how much I hate "full circle" and how bizarre the entire thing was. Maybe something of value would eventually come out with a lot of editing. XD
This isn’t to say I’m 100% on Rory’s side all the time. Pretty much every character in this show has at some point made me smile, made me laugh (generally with them, but some characters it’s more like at), made me want to give them a hug, made me roll my eyes, and made me want to throw something at them. That’s why I love it so much! Even if the drama is turned up to 1000, I still get the sense that these characters are human. My favs end up on my “will protect at all costs” and “shit” lists throughout the series, no one is immune. Except Lane. She really is the best person in this entire show. #JusticeForLaneKim
If ASP had written season 7: (Remember there being some sort of theme to this post? Only two episodes in s6, but Jess sure does make an impact.) I bet Jess would show up at some point. MV is loyal to the creators and not the show, if it was important for Jess to be there I’m sure his shooting schedule would have been accounted for. Storyline would have been similar to the revival because AYITL is ASPs season she didn’t get to do without considering how time passing affects the characters (I’M STILL SALTY) except Rory is at Yale and I think the book was a new idea. Shipping as endgame doesn’t change, and I bet there wouldn’t be a nice little Literati ending because we’ve got to end it the same way, right? I don't even need them to be together at the end because Rory has greater plans to focus on, but just a moment! One moment is all I asked for... I don’t know if this makes me mad because I felt like the narrative had been pushing us along this path for so long even if actual "endgame" was going to be offscreen or if I kind of like just having it in my imagination. Little bit of column A, little bit of column B. In any case, it could have been cool to see Jess present for the birth of his half-sister and giving Luke some support. 
Like I said, I'm not touching AYITL right now. The whole starting point of this was, "huh, if MV never came back to the show, how would I feel about Jess and Literati?" And he was in it so it doesn't really fit into this even though we've gone on a meandering journey as pieces of discourse that have never sat right with me but didn't quite know how to express that disagreement until now popped in my mind. So there you go. If you’ve made it to end, claps to you, what a champ.
At the end of the day, Literati is the ship that makes me feel the most things, it's kind of just a gut thing. This really isn't any sort of argument just an outpouring of love for the show and these characters. I don't know how well that's communicated, but hey, I try. I’ve got a lot of nostalgia for the pairing and I always viewed Jess as being Rory’s, and only Rory’s, choice.
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how does one know if they're ace or aro?
Hi Lovely!!
Ahhhhh, well, sadly this is a different experience for every individual, and I can only speak for myself. I am not Aro, so I can’t give you that personal anecdote, but I am ace.
You see, I grew up in a very conservative city, and went to catholic school, so you just... don’t think of anything other than boy and girl. Except I didn’t think of ANY of that at all. I thought maybe I was just a late bloomer. I got to college and still... nothing. Just what the HELL is wrong with me?
For me, growing up, I just... never understood why everyone was so obsessed with sex, and why making out never “turned me on”. I genuinely thought I was broken, that there was something wrong with me. I like being cuddled and hugged and just having emotional intimacy, but the second someone wanted to go beyond that, I was like “NOPE”, called a prude and a bitch, and that was that. I wanted all the aspects of a relationship but not interested at all in ever having the sex part of it.
But I never brought it up to my doctors, and I’ve never been in a serious relationship because “Hey, I’m broken, no one will want me anyway”, so I focussed on my career instead. I’ve essentially shied away from relationships because I didn’t want to explain to someone that “I’m broken, I only want cuddles, and it has to move at a snail’s pace”. So yeah.
This was all made worse by a mother who constantly told me “what’s wrong with you, why haven’t you given me grandchildren, HAH AHAHAHHA the movie “40 Year Old Virgin” is about you isn’t that hilarious??” 
No, mother, it wasn’t. 
What clued me into possibly being ace was actually really funny. It was when I got into the Sherlock fandom and people discussed Sherlock’s sexuality, and I believe it was Brönte who mentioned something about asexual Sherlock, since she was a literature major. "Asexual” is one of those terms I’ve heard, but didn’t really know anything about outside of what it meant.
This is where my almost-4-year sexuality crisis began. It has its issues, but I started my journey by reading up everything on Asexuality.org. EVERYTHING including the forums. Then I watched asexual TED talks (there’s one by the founder of Asexuality.org and another by a young person (sorry I can’t remember their pronouns) that are really good and informative) and YouTubers like Amelia Ace and Slice of Ace (Anthony Padilla actually has an interesting “I spent a day with” video with aces that I recommend, and youtuber Ash Hardell came out with a VERY good series I watched when I was learning about myself). Suddenly everything clicked. It was LITERALLY an “Oh.” moment. Then I learned about the split attraction model, which aces use to help clarify where they are on the spectrum, and about 2 years in, I suddenly realized that “Hmm.  I’ve always said I want to be with ‘some ONE’ not some man” so I had another long think, did more research, and thought yeah, you know what? I don’t care about the gender presentation of who I end up with, as long as we’re happy and we enjoy each other’s lives.” So yeah that was a bit of a surprise to me. 
Then I met other asexuals at 221B con.That was what sealed it for me: their advice and help and just genuine kindness and understanding of how I feel. I’ve NEVER had anyone say “yeah, I feel that way too!”, rather than “I just don’t understand how you can’t want sex. Everyone wants sex!”.
So now, I’m 2 years “out” to my online friends, I’m glad I’m not broken anymore, but let me tell you, it’s a fucking scary thing to go through at 34. 
I still am not publicly out, but I don’t make it a secret that I go to Pride week and I support LGBT causes. And I never leave home anyway, and will probably be alone the rest of my life, but I feel at peace with myself, you know? Just simply KNOWING that I’m NOT broken is a fucking weight off my shoulders.
I know the running joke in the fandom is that “Sherlock Fandom Made Me Gay”, but honestly, there is a grain of truth in it. A lot of us just... don’t KNOW until we’re around other queer people. Which I wasn’t ever UNTIL I came here AND moved to a very liberal city. Everyone was very understanding and helpful, and in turn and in thanks, I was able to also help other lovelies who, like me, didn’t know and were scared.
So yeah, Lovely, for me it was a sense of “something’s different, but I’m not sure what”. And then a lot of research. I knew I wasn’t aromantic because I do desire and crave romance probably in the same way allosexual people crave sex... I wouldn’t know, I’ve never craved it, LOL. 
Personally, I encourage everyone to just have a period of their lives where they learn about different sexualities and different types of romance. You always hear these stories about someone not knowing they were homoromantic until they had a roommate they fell in love with. One of my best friends found out he was trans in his mid-thirties... He just thought he was a tomboy who just... felt different. 
It’s a different experience for everyone, Rory, and one that only you can discover on your own. Read up information, watch YouTubers, go down the wikipedia rabbit hole, and talk to other people in the various communities. 
But let me tell you, Rory, remember this term: Split Attraction Model. Discovering this term helped me a lot on my ace journey. Remember Asexuality and Aromanticism are both very VERY wide spectrums and very VERY different things, and it’s going to take awhile to figure out where you belong. But once you do, I think you’ll be at peace. And it’s OKAY to not “settle” on a label. Please know that. Sexuality is fluid.
Good luck Lovely, and don’t hesitate to ask if you have any other questions. <3
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Dr. Lauren Beach was 14 years old when she/they first came out as bisexual. Beach revealed the truth to friends and curious classmates at her/their suburban Michigan high school. The reactions varied, but not many were affirming.
"I experienced a lot of people who eroticized my attraction to femme people. It's like, 'oh, you're bi. That's so hot,'" says Beach, who has a Ph.D. in molecular, cellular, developmental biology and genetics.
Other friends asked Beach if she/they were doing it for attention. Beach says only three people, including Beach, at her/their school were openly out as queer. Instead of being embraced by them, Beach received flak for her/their sexuality.
"One of the other people there who was queer was like, 'You're a fence sitter! You're a switcher. You can't be trusted, you might date men after dating me," recalls Beach.
This kind of biphobia, which perpetuates stereotypes, hatred, and prejudices about bisexual people, is not uncommon — even (or sometimes especially) within the queer community. Stigma against bisexual people stems from a larger culture of homophobia, Rory Gory, digital marketing manager of the Trevor Project, an LGBTQ youth suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization, wrote in an email to Mashable.
"Since bisexuals often move between straight and queer spaces, they are subjected to both homophobia and biphobia," Gory explains.
Bisexual people make up a sizable population within the LGBTQ community, given more than 50 percent of queer people in America identify as bisexual, according to the Williams Institute. The think tank does research on sexual orientation and gender identity to ensure stereotypes don't influence laws, policies, and judicial decisions. To be clear, bisexuality means a person is attracted to more than one gender. It doesn't mean bisexual people are more sexually active than others or going through a phase (two common myths).
As a teenager, Beach bought into stereotypes about bi people. But now 22 years later, she/they are a professor at Northwestern University where she/they focus on the health of bisexual people and works to dispel myths about them. Additionally, Beach co-founded the Chicago Bisexual Health Task Force, a coalition that advances the heath equity of bisexual people.
Mashable spoke with Beach, and representatives from advocacy organizations such as the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), GLAAD, and the Trevor Project to learn about the unique challenges bisexual people face and how to be an ally.
1. View bisexual people as individuals
It's easy to lump a single group together but resist that trap. Like anyone else, bisexual people are individuals and their personalities and preferences vary. As Beach says, "there's not one single experience of bisexuality."
For example, Beach is asexual or ace. This means Beach doesn't experience sexual attraction, but she/they are romantically attracted to people across the gender spectrum. One can be both asexual and bi, with some asexual people preferring to identify as biromantic. Although many asexual people are not interested in having sex, some may choose to engage in sexual activity; asexual people can have varied preferences and experiences. Beach's experience doesn't mean all bisexual people feel the same way.
Getting to know more bisexual people can help scrub away your pre-conceived notions. You could already have friends who are bisexual and not know it. Be open about your intentions to learn so you can tear down your misconceptions about bisexual people, Beach recommends.
"You'd be surprised by how many people are like 'Oh, I'm actually bi. Let's talk," says Beach. "From understanding the breadth of experience, you personalize people."
2. Challenge negative stereotypes
As you expand your knowledge about bisexual people, speak up when you hear people perpetuating harmful misperceptions. Sometimes we don't even know we've absorbed negative stereotypes if we're not informed, says Mackenzie Hart, coordinator of GLAAD's Media Institute, which advises media, television, and film professionals on accurate LGBTQ representation.
An easy way to interject when you hear a myth about bisexual people is to say, "Actually, that's not true, my friend who is bisexual does not fit that stereotype," suggests Hart. It can also help to arm yourself with accurate statistics to further back up what you're saying, says Madeleine Roberts, HRC's assistant press secretary. HRC is a helpful resource for these stats.
"Barsexual" is a hurtful label often used to demean bisexual people. It refers to the incorrect belief that bisexual people will only interact with certain genders when they are intoxicated, explains Hart. It upholds the myth that bisexual women are actually straight as it implies they only flirt or make out with women when drunk. It also contributes to bi erasure, which GLAAD says happens when "the existence or legitimacy of bisexuality (either in general or in regard to an individual) is questioned or denied outright."
You should also push back against the harmful stereotypes that bisexuals can't be trusted to commit to a relationship, says Gory. "Embrace bisexuals as valid members of the [LGBTQ] community, rather than referring to them as 'allies' of the community."
Additionally, you can be an ally by understanding certain words and promoting proper usage. For example, you can clarify the difference between bisexual and bi+. Bi+ is an umbrella term inclusive of people who are pan, queer, fluid, and those who don't prefer labels. Use the full acronym of LGBTQ rather than gay as an umbrella term for queer people, explains Roberts. By taking these steps, you can "create spaces where people are hearing these words," says Hart.
3. Healthcare providers need to educate themselves
One time, a clinician asked Beach how many sex partners she/they had.
"I was like, OK, what do you mean by sex?" says Beach. The practitioner questioned why Beach would ask this. Beach told the clinician she/they are bisexual and, therefore, needed clarification about what sexual behavior she was referring to.
"She got really uncomfortable and said 'deep vaginal penetration,'" says Beach. "She started off guessing. She said, "you seem like a nice girl. So what is it, like one or two people?"" says Beach. The provider then said, “So, what you’re saying is more than 30 or 40 people.”
"It shows how someone [in a healthcare setting] can make this jump based on biphobic stereotypes of what my sexual behavior would be,” explains Beach.
After that encounter, Beach never went back to that doctor. To this day, Beach doesn’t have a designated primary care provider.
“I have to work up the emotional energy to want to go put myself through that potential experience," Beach says about seeking out healthcare.
Beach's experience isn't uncommon. Biphobia may discourage bisexual people from going to the doctor, with 39 percent of bisexual men and 33 percent of bisexual women reporting that they didn't disclose their sexual orientation to any medical provider, according to a 2012 study by the Williams Institute. Comparably, 13 percent of gay men and 10 percent of lesbians did not share their sexual orientation with a doctor.
Providers shouldn't presume anyone's sexual behavior because they know their sexual identity, says Beach. Hart echoes this advice. A doctor once asked Hart, "Are you seeing anyone?" Hart said no. She then asked, "If you were seeing anyone, would you be seeing a woman, a man, either, or other?" It wasn't perfect, Hart says, but asking open-ended questions that are inclusive of gender nonconforming people made Hart comfortable enough to see her again.
"Even if you aren't sure of certain words... you can make it clear you aren't going to be judgmental and you understand there's a wide array of experiences," says Hart.
4. Uplift bisexual people of color
Roberts recommends following prominent bi+ people of color on social media such as singer and actor Janelle Monáe, NFL player Ryan Russell, writer and transgender rights activist Raquel Willis, and politician Andrea Jenkins to become familiar with their lives. The next step is to share their stories with your friends and family.
At last year's Academy Awards, actor Rami Malek won Best Actor for his portrayal of British singer Freddie Mercury. Malek described Mercury as gay during his acceptance speech but Mercury was actually bisexual. Willis called out the bi erasure in a tweet.
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Of the four people Roberts listed, two (Willis and Jenkins) are transgender. Just like one can be asexual and bi, one can also be transgender and bi. In 2015, the National Center for Transgender Equality surveyed 27,715 transgender people from every state and D.C., U.S. territories, and U.S. military bases abroad and 14 percent of respondents described their sexual orientation as bisexual.
To ensure you're not erasing transgender bi+ people's identities, always use inclusive language like "siblings" instead of "brothers and sisters," says Roberts, when addressing people as if they're family. This guarantees you're not assuming every bi+ person (or anyone generally) identifies as either male or female.
Taking into account the role intersectionality plays in the lives of bi+ people is important — especially when you're looking to amplify their voices.
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Pride: 25 Queer Films To Love.
Dating Amber writer and director David Freyne introduces our London correspondent Ella Kemp to 25 of his favorite LGBTQIA films.
A coming-out, coming-of-age film, David Freyne’s Dating Amber follows “baby gays” Eddie (Fionn O’Shea) and Amber (Lola Petticrew), who act as each other’s beards in order to stop speculation about their sexualities. Released on Amazon Prime Video in the UK for Pride month, it’s winning praise from Letterboxd members as a “charming” and “gentle” comedy-drama “full of loveliness that extends beyond the Irish accents”.
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Lola Petticrew and Fionn O’Shea as Amber and Eddie in ‘Dating Amber’.
As the number of films by and about the gay and trans community expands, we asked Freyne if he could narrow down a list of ten favorites for us. The answer was no—instead, we got 25!
“There are so many extraordinary queer films beyond this list, but all of these films just really affected me when I saw them. Some were the first time I saw queerness on screen, while I deeply identified with others. And, as a filmmaker, each of them makes me braver to fight to tell stories that aren't always easy to get made.
“They are in no particular order because I don’t want to bump into Barry Jenkins (which is obviously going to happen) and have to explain that he is number five on that list (that he will definitely read) for no specific reason. It’s just a technicality.”
David Freyne’s 25 Favorite LGBTQIA+ Films
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My Summer of Love (2004) Directed by Paweł Pawlikowski
Paweł Pawlikowski’s film feels like a dream that sweeps you up along with it, helped along by incredible early performances from Natalie Press and Emily Blunt. The hypnotic use of Goldfrapp's ‘Lovely Head’ is probably my favorite use of a song in any film ever. Their drug-fuelled dancing was a massive inspiration for Eddie and Amber’s baby steps into Dublin’s gay scene in Dating Amber.
Weekend (2011) Directed by Andrew Haigh
I never fail to cry buckets at the end of this heartbreaking gem. It’s small in the best sense of the word. Two people fall in love over one intimate weekend. Their gayness is both incidental and totally fundamental. It’s so delicate and moving. Andrew Haigh is a master.
But I’m a Cheerleader (1999) Directed by Jamie Babbit
Jamie Babbit’s debut is a brilliant, campy comedy about a cheerleader sent to a conversion therapy camp. I love it for all the reasons many critics (at the time) disliked it. It is subversive, quirky and defiantly upbeat. And it stars Natasha Lyonne and Clea Duvall. Enough said.
Paris is Burning (1990) Directed by Jennie Livingston
I’m not saying anything new when I say that Paris is Burning is necessary viewing. It’s a hilarious, moving and eye-opening look at the (mostly) Black trans women in New York’s ball scene. It is a glimpse into the lives of these extraordinary people who risked everything to live authentically, for themselves and each other. And at a time when our trans family is so under attack, it is vital to see such iconic figures from our community. You’ve probably seen it. Re-watch it. Also those end notes will make you cry.
Happy Together (1997) Directed by Wong Kar-wai
As with all Wong Kar-wai’s work, it is jaw-droppingly gorgeous. It’s a tough watch, a portrait of a toxic, failing relationship. But it looks beautiful. They’re miserable and co-dependent. It’s abusive and awful. But it’s great. It really is a great film. I’m not selling this one well. Just watch it.
Moonlight (2016) Directed by Barry Jenkins
Definitely worth watching after Happy Together. Not just because it will make you feel better, but because Barry Jenkins has noted it as a big influence. Also, Moonlight is a masterpiece. You know that, of course. Side note: I realize I’ll never be able to create a hand-job scene as powerful and tender as Jenkins did here, but, in Dating Amber, I made three comedy hand-jobs. Take that Jenkins!
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God’s Own Country (2017) Directed by Francis Lee
You can feel Francis Lee in every frame of this film. It’s personal filmmaking at its very best, with wonderful performances from Josh O’Connor and Alec Secăreanu. And it has the most beautifully romantic ending that you only realize we lack for LGBTQ characters when you see it laid out so wonderfully. When we were trying to finance Dating Amber and people suggested it was too Irish, I’d just reference God’s Own Country, which is so defiantly Yorkshire, and they’d shut up. Also, Secăreanu’s jumper with a thumb hole is my style icon. Bring on Ammonite!
Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2018) Directed by Marielle Heller
Marielle Heller is such a brilliant filmmaker. This film is based on the memoir by Lee Israel who forged letters by famous people to sell. It’s a genre piece that feels like it could have been made in the 70s. But what I love about it the most is that it is a rare example of a film that centers the friendship between a lesbian and a gay man. Why do films usually treat us like we exist in totally separate worlds? Anyway, it’s a joyous watch.
Tangerine (2015) Directed by Sean Baker
I’m obsessed with tightly plotted films and Tangerine doesn’t waste a frame. It’s 88 minutes of pure wit, charm and entertainment in line with the best of old-school Hollywood. You instantly forget that Baker’s film is shot on an iPhone and just get swept up in the extraordinary performances of Mya Taylor and Kitana Kiki Rodriguez. It’s such a mystery they don’t work more. (Reader: it’s not a mystery. It’s because they are Black trans women, and the industry is shit.)
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Portrait of a Lady On Fire (2019) Directed by Céline Sciamma
We all bow at the alter of Céline Sciamma. This film is perfection. The sparse-but-powerful use of music, exquisite photography and extraordinary performances that burn beneath the stillness. The final shots of Adèle Haenel will feed your soul for a year. (Side note: face masks have never looked so stylish.)
Sunday Bloody Sunday (1971) Directed by John Schlesinger
This was John Schlesinger’s follow up to his best-known film, Midnight Cowboy. A middle-aged gay doctor (Peter Finch), and a divorced woman (Glenda Jackson), are both in an open love triangle with a younger, bisexual sculptor (Murray Head). It’s quite low-key and far tamer now than when it was released, but it’s a beautiful film and Schlesinger’s most personal. He was one of the few openly gay directors of his time. And Jackson’s performance steals it.
Far From Heaven (2002) Directed by Todd Haynes
Todd Haynes’ stunning film will make you immediately go out and discover all of Douglas Sirk’s glorious technicolor melodramas. Julianne Moore’s performance as a wife who discovers her husband is gay will break you. Dennis Quaid is also terrific as her closeted husband.
The Watermelon Woman (1996) Directed by Cheryl Dunye
Cheryl Dunye’s low-budget debut is a seminal queer film. A video store worker and documentarian (played by Dunye) starts a new relationship while becoming obsessed with ‘the watermelon woman’, a Black actress forgotten by history. It’s lo-fi, funny and a, far too rare, film about race and sexuality.
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My Beautiful Laundrette (1985) Directed by Stephen Frears
It may have been the first time I saw gay characters on screen and, at the time, it petrified me. But what an amazing film about love, acceptance and the power to change. Fun fact: Daniel Day-Lewis spent a year as a tumble dryer in preparation for his role.
Beautiful Thing (1996) Directed by Hettie MacDonald
Hettie MacDonald’s coming-of-age film is so lovely, honest and tender. James Harvey adapted it from his own play of the same name. The soundtrack is almost entirely The Mamas and the Papas. I am surprised some cigar-smoking West-End mogul hasn’t attempted a musical adaptation. Or maybe they have, I don’t know.
Pride (2014) Directed by Matthew Warchus
Such a purely entertaining film while being urgent, political and deeply moving. Beresford’s script is a masterclass in plotting and if you don’t cry at the end then you are dead inside. Sorry but that’s just science. Also it has the most emotional postscript coda since, well, Paris is Burning.
Love is Strange (2014) Directed by Ira Sachs
Ira Sachs is one of my favorite current filmmakers and criminally underrated. I mean, he’s appreciated, but he needs to be lauded. Love is Strange is such a charming and quietly devastating love story about an older gay couple who lose their apartment and have to couch surf with relatives. It’s one of the most effective films in dealing with the rental crisis in big cities, something he does equally brilliantly in the follow-up, Little Men.
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A Fantastic Woman (2017) Directed by Sebastián Lelio
Sebastián Lelio’s film is a beautiful story about one trans woman’s grief after the unexpected death of her older partner. But what makes this film so spectacular is the captivating performance by Daniela Vega. We need to see more of her on screen.
BPM (Beats per Minute) (2017) Directed by Robin Campillo
It’s a film about the AIDS activism of Act Up in 1990s Paris. What makes this so incredible is how joyous it is. Strobe-doused dance scenes punctuate this film that will make you want to take to the streets and fight for your rights.
The Queen of Ireland (2015) Directed by Conor Horgan
This documentary by Conor Horgan follows Ireland’s most famous drag queen, Panti Bliss (aka Rory O’Neill). It’s about his life, a legal battle (a bunch of homophobes sued Rory for calling them homophobes on national TV) and the staging of a show in his hometown. Central to all this is Ireland’s historic vote on marriage equality, something that Panti was a powerful figure in. If you want to laugh and have your heart soar in seeing confirmation of how a once painfully conservative country moved to love and equality, watch this.
The Kids Are All Right (2010) Directed by Lisa Cholodenko
Lisa Cholodenko’s feature is a warm, witty and realistic look at a lesbian couple and their children. Every performance is pitch perfect. I can’t believe it’s a decade old and that we have had so few similar films since.
Booksmart (2019) Directed by Olivia Wilde
We need more joyous films with queer leads and Olivia Wilde’s debut is just that. Set over one night of belated partying, we follow best friends Molly and Amy (Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever), one of whom happens to be a lesbian. It is just so much fun to watch.
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All About My Mother (1999) Directed by Pedro Almodóvar
I mean this list could just be an Almodóvar filmography, but All About My Mother just happened to be the first of his I saw and it blew my little gay mind. It’s simply about love in its truest sense. Almodóvar said it best with his dedication, “To all actresses who have played actresses. To all women who act. To men who act and become women. To all the people who want to be mothers. To my mother.”
Female Trouble (1974) Directed by John Waters
You can’t have a queer film list without John Waters, and this 1974 classic is my favorite of his. It follows Dawn Davenport (played by the legendary Divine) from teen delinquent to the electric chair. It’s hilarious, irreverent and distasteful in the ways only Waters can be.
Saint Maud (2019) Directed by Rose Glass
Rose Glass’s debut film isn’t out yet and so technically shouldn’t be on the list. But I saw at a festival last year and loved it, so there. It’s a horror film about a private nurse (rising star Morfydd Clark) who tries to save the soul of her deviant and lesbian patient (the always-brilliant Jennifer Ehle). It’s eerie, stylish and the sort of debut all us filmmakers wish we had. Shut up, you’re jealous!
Related content
MundoF’s Opening the Vault: a chronological history of queer interest and LGBTQ+ cinema.
Leonora’s list of Films by Transgender Writers and Directors.
Out of the Closets and Into the Cinemas!: meeting queer folks in dark rooms.
New Queer Cinema
Queer Films Everyone Must See
Queer, Black, 21st Century: A Pride 2020 List
Autostraddle’s Top 200 Lesbian, Bisexual & Queer Movies of All Time
Brianna’s list of LGBT+ Animation
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afaimsarrowverse · 4 years
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Ten Favorite Ships from the four main Arrowverse Shows:
Rules: For this list Crossover Pairings were excluded if one partner is confined to their own show. However if the character changes show later he or she is on the list. This is my blog, this is my list, it is in no way objective, everyone is entiled to their own opinion, so please don’t reblog or answer just to tell me how much you disagree with me. You can’t quantify love, well except with stupid lists like this, just because a ship is not on this list does not mean I don’t like it - except when it does - so…. yeah, here we go
  10 besten Ships „Arrow“:
 10. Merlance (Tommy Merlyn/Laurel Lance)
 I always liked the unlikely story of Tommy Merlyn actually conquering Laurel Lances heart.
 9. Overarcher (KaraX/Oliver QueenX)
 While I don’t think our Kara would ever really give Oliver a shot, this one was undoubtly True Love, well at least for Oliver X, Kara X did love him, yes, but she was much more in line with duty than he ever was. Which is what actually makes this dynamic this interesting.
 8.      GreenAtom (Oliver Queen/Ray Palmer)
 A very underapprecaited Ship that I love dearly. Ray und Oliver together have so much potential.
 7. SmoakDetective (Donna Smoak/Quentin Lance)
 Quentin needs love, and while Donna is not the first person you would think of when you would think of a potential partner for him, she is the best fit for the role. She challenges him and makes his day brighter. And he treats her well.
 6.      Olivarry (Oliver Queen/Barry Allen)
 As unlucky as Olivers Love Live is, maybe that’s the case because the actual love of his live happens to be a man which he is not willing to admit to himself.
 5.      Raylicity (Ray Palmer/Felicity Smoak)
 Cute and entertraining those two are actually a much better fit than Oliver and Felcitiy, maybe only a little bit too simelar as Oliver has pointed out.
 4.      Nysara (Nyssa al Ghul/Sara Lance)
 We love Sara and we love Nyssa, why shouldn’t we love them together?
 3.      Throy (Thea Queen/Roy Harper)
 This is the one ship that everyone agreed on was to be endgame.
 2.      Lauriver (Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen)
 This was supposed to be endgame, and the fact that it wasn’t is frankly just an insult to anyone who knows anything about Green Arrow in the comics.
 1.      Cannarow (Sara Lance/Oliver Queen)
 So here it is my Arrow OTP.
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 Die 10 besten Ships „The Flash“:
 10    Elongsue (Ralp Dibnyh/Sue) Dearborn
 This was supposed to be an epic love story with endgame potential.
 9.      Eobarry (Eobard Thawne/Barry Allen)
 Fanboy Eobard might have come to hate Barry, but a part of him never stopped loving the scarlet speedster as we all know.
 8.      Elongflash (Ralph Dibny/Barry Allen)
 I frankly never understood why people did not ship them more and there are so little fanfics about those two, I mean it’s a classic love story really.
 7.      Allenbert (Barry Allen/Julian Albert)
 For a long time I thought that that would be the reveal about Julians problem with Barry. Appearantly so did the actors.
 6.      Jocile (Joe West/Cecile Horton)
 They are cute and sexy together, have a mature realtionship that presents new obstacles the navigate around together, and it’s an eternal shame that their planned Season 5 sub-plot was cut short
 5.      Coldflash (Leoanrd Snart/Barry Allen)
 Leonard flirts with everything that moves, but Barry has a special place in his heart.
 4. Westhawne (Iris West/Eddie Thawne)
 And he was ready to fight destiny itself. For Iris. And she did love him. A lot.
 3.      Thallen (Eddie Thawne/Barry Allen)
 Barry und Eddie were crushing hard on each other, there is no denying that.
 2.      Westallen (Iris West/Barry Allen)
 Westallen ist destiny in every timeline, in every universe, it’s a as simple as that.
 1.      Westhallen (Iris West/Eddie Thawne/Barry Allen)
 This is how you solve a love triangle, that does not need to be one, when all three parties have certain feelings for all the other members of the triangle.
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 Die 10 besten Ships „Supergirl“:
 10.  Lanvers (Alex Danvers/Maxwell Lord)
 Yes, I know Alex is lesbian, but this ship ist just too yummy.
 8.      Killiam (Kara Danvers/William Dey)
 Frozen burn realtionship that deserves to pick up speed. Kara deserves a love life, please!
  9.      Karolsen (Kara Danvers/James Olsen)
 Back in Season 1 of Supergirl I actually shipped this.  I loved Kara and genuinly wanted her to get the guy of her dreams. I mean she got heart eyes, ever time James walked in the room, but she also was adult enough to stettle for „just friends“.
 7.      Dolsen (Alex Danvers/Kelly Olsen)
 Kelly is a much better fit for Alex than Maggie ever was, because she is less selfcentered and much more willing to compromise and they are more simelar. And in the end all the obstacles those two faced they were willing to overcome together.
 6.      Overarcher (KaraX/Oliver QueenX)
 While I don’t think our Kara would ever really give Oliver a shot, this one was undoubtly True Love, well at least for Oliver X, Kara X did love him, yes, but she was much more in line with duty than he ever was. Which is what actually makes this dynamic this interesting.
 5.Brainia (Brainiac-5/Nia Nal)
 Brainy and Nia and their relationship were the only genuine good things about the first half of Season 4.
 4.Winniac-5 (Winn Schott/Brainiac-5)
 I am one out of two persons in the world who ships this, but I ship it hard.
 3.      Clois (Clark Kent/Lois Lane)
 Clois has been done very compelling by many other actors before, but the Arrowverse-Version still managed to get their own spin on it and to come across super sweet.
 2.      Sanvers (Maggie Sawyer/Alex Danvers)
 Ah, Sanvers, they took the world in storm and didn’t we love them.
 1.      Karamel (Kara Danvers/Mon-El)
 Their chemistry jumped from the screen right into our hearts.
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Die 10 besten Ships „Legends of Tomorrow“:
 10.  Saramaya (Sara Lance/Amaya Jiwe)
 I really don’t know why everyone is going on about Kendra and Sara, when they could be going on about this ship were there is actual tension and actual chemistry there.
 11.  Coldray (Leo SnartX/Ray Terrill)
 Those two are just two cute and sadly were wiped out of existence by Crisis, but I still love them.
 8.      Atomsteelwavevixen (Ray Palmer/Nate Heywood/Mick Roey/Amaya Jiwe)
 I prefere Steelatom and Vixenwave as bros, but as a foursome those four rock the libido and the Waverider.
 7.      Captains3 (Sara Lance/Rip Hunter/Leonard Snart)
 Given that Sara and Rip, Sara and Leonard und Leonard and Rip would not last together, my solution to this would be to get together as a threesome.
 6.      Constangreen (John Constantine/Gary Green)
 We love Gary, and Gary loves John, and John does actually love Gary.
 5.Avalance (Ava Sharpe/Sara Lance)
 At this point Avalance is cleary planned to be endgame and rightly so.
 4.Hellcanary (John Constantine/Sara Lance)
 Two broken souls, two players who played which each other and found solace in each others arms – two bi-sexual icons together
 3.Vixensteel (Amaya Jiwe/Nate Heywood)
  I loved the star crossed romance between Nate and Amaya, and the fact that they defied history and was heart broken when they gave up after all.
 2.      Timecanary (Rip Hunter/Sara Lance)
 Out of all her many suitors Rip is the one I would want to see her ending up with.
 1.      Atomwave (Ray Palmer/Mick Rory)
 This is my Legends-OTP and I am still not over the fact that Ray is out of the show and so is this ship!
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worryinglyinnocent · 4 years
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Fic: Pure (10/14)
Summary: Belle wanted to wait until marriage before she had sex for the first time. It was the one thing that still stuck in her mind after leaving her small town upbringing steeped in religious doctrine and abstinence culture. When her wedding night comes, however, the purity ideals of Storybrooke’s sex education are hard to shake off, and making the transition from virgin to sexually active is more difficult than she anticipated. With the help of a patient husband, Belle begins an intimate journey into understanding her body, her desires, and her identity as a woman.
Rated: E
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[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [Nine] [AO3]
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Pure
Ten
Belle had hoped that a night out with the girls would take her mind off everything. If she was thinking about having fun and getting tipsy off overpriced cocktails, then she wouldn’t be thinking about Aiden. Or about sex. She wouldn’t be thinking about any of the things she shouldn’t be thinking about, even though she knew that logically, there was absolutely no reason why she shouldn’t be thinking about them.
Unfortunately, her ploy wasn’t working.
They were in Aesop’s, a favourite haunt for the three of them that they had quickly found just after Belle had moved to Boston and fallen in with their group at college, and many happy times had been shared there. It was not a place that she had ever come to with Aiden, preferring to keep it as a girls’ only thing. There were plenty of other wonderful places that she had discovered with him, after all.
She twirled the straw around the ice in the bottom of her empty mojito glass, wondering if it would be too soon to go and get another. She was already on her second, and Ruby and Mulan were still on their first drinks.
“What’s up?” Mulan touched her arm gently, her face full of concern. “You haven’t smiled at all since we got here. Are you still worried about your dad?”
Belle shook her head. “No, I know that he’s fine.” Although she had not actually spoken to him since she left Storybrooke, she’d had regular updates from the nurse who had informed her that he was recovering well but was rather put out at having been told that he would have to give up alcohol for the foreseeable future if not forever.
“So, what’s the problem, then? This is supposed to be a happy girls’ night out, and no offence, but you’re looking like a wet weekend. Come on, let’s see if we can’t get a smile on that face.”
Belle managed a weak smile, but she knew that it would not be enough to appease Mulan, who was quite possibly the shrewdest person she’d ever met. Sure enough, Mulan just raised an eyebrow.
“Please, Belle, you know that you can talk to us about anything. Is it Aiden?”
“No. Yes. No. I don’t know. I don’t think that the problem’s with Aiden, he’s being a perfect gentleman about the whole thing. Maybe too much of a gentleman if I’m honest. I think that the problem’s with me, can I get another one of these things? I think I’m going to need it.”
Mulan went over to where Ruby was flirting outrageously and not at all seriously with the bartender, ordering another round of drinks in and collecting her girlfriend for a full-on crisis conference in one corner of the bar.
“So, it’s definitely a relationship problem, then?”
Belle nodded. “It’s not so much a relationship problem as a lack of relationship problem.”
“You’re not having sex.”
Belle spluttered on her cocktail. “What? Yes! No! Yes! How?”
“Look, when a relationship runs into problems, intimacy is always the first thing to go.” Mulan shrugged. “It’s just one of those facts.”
“Our relationship hasn’t run into problems.” Belle sighed. “Intimacy is the problem. I just… I should never have gone back to Storybrooke. All of the hard work that I put in with Aiden to overcome everything that I learned there has all been undone, and it’s all my fault.”
“Belle, I don’t think that anyone can say that the weirdness you had to put up with whilst you grew up is your fault.” Ruby wrapped her arms around her, stroking her hair. “You did so well to break out of it, you can’t give that up now.”
“I know!” Belle exclaimed. “I don’t want to feel like this, I don’t even know why I’m feeling like this, I just am, and I can’t make it go away. I don’t want to want him, but I do.”
“Belle, wanting to have sex with a man you’re married to is hardly a crime.”
Belle huffed. “Tell that to the nuns.”
“They’re nuns, Belle, what the hell do they know about sex, and what right do they have to be passing moral judgements on anyone else?”
“I don’t know. They’re nuns. They can’t lie or they’ll get smited. Smote? Smooted?” Good grief, she probably should have eaten a bit more before she’d come out if this was how tongue-tied she got after two and a half mojitos. “Smeeted? Whatever. They can’t lie or God will get angry at them.”
“Look, just because they believe something’s true doesn’t necessarily follow that it is. You’ve got to trust your gut in these situations.”
“That’s great, but I don’t know what my gut is telling me at the moment; I’m getting mixed signals from it and I really don’t think that’s down to the amount of rum I’ve just drunk.”
“So, the nuns say you shouldn’t be having sex, even though you’re married, and you agree with them?”
“Yes. No. I don’t want to agree with them, who wants to agree with a nun? I just don’t want to be a whore either.”
Mulan and Ruby looked at each other and then at Belle.
“I think you’ve had one too many of those,” Mulan said, pulling Belle’s glass away from her a little. “Belle, you’re not a whore, why would you be? You’re a married woman.”
“I know that! But I don’t know who I am anymore! It’s like I’ve lost my entire identity! I was always the good little virgin girl and now I’m not. Now I’m not anything. I just am. People look at me and think ‘what is she?’ I’m not worth anything anymore now that I’ve lost my virginity. I have no value to society anymore until I become a mother and I’m not ready for that and if that means I can’t have sex until I am and if that means Aiden leaves me then I’m going to have to accept that.”
Belle looked in horror at the mojito glass. She hadn’t expected to pour out all her thoughts quite so volubly. When she looked up Ruby and Mulan were looking at her with what she assumed were shocked expressions similar to her own.
Ruby shook her head. “Belle, that’s… I don’t think that there are even words to describe that.”
“What happened in Storybrooke?” Mulan coaxed softly. “You were fine before you went back there to see your dad. What happened to change that? You were enjoying married life; you were enjoying having sex with Aiden. At least, I assume you were. You seemed fine about it when you were telling us about the honeymoon; I know it’s not a topic that you discuss often unless you’ve had a lot of rum.”
“It was nothing,” Belle mumbled. “It was so stupid, and I shouldn’t have let it get under my skin, but now it’s there and it won’t come out. Like the rhino in the just-so stories.”
“Belle, it’s got to be something if it’s made you so miserable that you think your marriage is ending.”
Belle sighed, grabbing her glass back from Mulan and taking a long gulp of it before telling them the whole story – her dad treating her as another man’s wife instead of his daughter because she’d had sex now, and of course, Mother Superior’s cutting words. By the time she’d finished, Mulan was ready to take the next greyhound bus to Maine and personally dismember everyone in Storybrooke apart from Rory.
“Oh Belle…” Ruby gave her another hug. “No wonder you don’t know who you are anymore. But we know who you are. Aiden knows who you are. You’re our friend, and you’re the love of his life. Surely he can reassure you that you have an identity beyond your virginity if no one else can.”
Belle sighed, and Ruby gave her a look. “You have talked to Aiden about this, right?”
“How can I?” Belle shrugged. “What can I say? How do I even start that conversation? And it’s not like he’s talking about it either, he just started sleeping in the spare room. He’s furious with me, I can tell.”
“Aiden’s a lovely guy, Belle. I know he’s absolutely terrifying on the outside to a stranger and I was ready to beat him with a stick when I first met him, but now that I’ve got to know him, I know how desperately devoted to you he is. He’s not the kind of guy to get angry with you for not wanting sex.”
“Then why isn’t he talking about it!”
“Maybe for the same reason you’re not talking about it? Maybe he’s waiting for you to bring it up, and he’s just giving you space until you feel ready for that?”
Belle could feel hot, angry tears pricking at her eyes, and she wiped them away before they could fall.
“I don’t know how to talk about it,” she said. “I need him to start that conversation because I’ve never had to start it before.”
“It’s very easy, honestly. All you have to do is begin with ‘hey, can we talk about the fact we haven’t had sex for weeks and you’re not even sleeping in the same bed as me anymore?’”
“Yeah, but…”
“Belle.” Ruby took her shoulders in a firm grip, forcing her to look up at her. “Belle, you need help. You can’t muddle through this on your own. Mulan and I can help you as much as we can, but you need to talk to Aiden about this, he’s the other person in your relationship. You still have Archie’s number, right?”
“I don’t need a psychiatrist, I’m not crazy.” Although, the more she thought about it, the more Belle wondered if she might actually be going mad. Listening to some of the things that she’d been saying over the course of the evening, they certainly wouldn’t have made sense to an outsider, even if inside her own brain, they conformed to a twisted and horrible sort of logic.
“No.” Ruby sighed. “No, you’re not crazy. No one’s saying that you are. But you need help. You need someone to talk to who can offer you proper, practical advice on how to overcome this. Because you can’t stay like this, Belle. You can’t live the entire rest of your life with the thoughts that you’re thinking now. You’re not worthless, you have value, the rest of the world doesn’t give a damn whether you’re having sex or not, and to be honest, anyone who sets that much store by your sex life or lack of it, anyone who is that damn interested in policing what you get up to between the sheets, is a pervert.”
The bald statement shocked Belle out of her increasing hysteria.
“I mean it,” Ruby said, and her expression was so ferocious that Belle couldn’t doubt her veracity. “Why is your sex life so important to that nun? Why is she so interested in it? Why does the state of every woman’s virginity have to be public knowledge in that town?”
In all her years, Belle had never questioned why. She’d despaired of it, she’d hated it, she’d pointed out the inconsistencies and paradoxes, but she’d never questioned why the town found it so incredibly important to, as Ruby put it, police her sexuality.
She stumbled away from the table, the rum and lime juice roiling in her stomach.
“I think I’m going to be sick.”
X
Belle was back earlier than he expected. Normally Gold was well asleep by the time she came in from one of her nights out at Aesop’s with Ruby and Mulan. He never begrudged her it; it was good that she had such great friends and that they’d stayed so close even after college had finished.
Tonight, though, it was barely gone eleven o’clock and he was still sitting up in the living room, a documentary about tropical fish keeping him company as he looked over the notes he’d made for the clock restoration. It was a particularly tricky piece and he knew that he wasn’t going to be able to leave it alone until he’d worked out all the kinks. He was surprised to hear the taxi pull up outside, and even more surprised to hear the doorbell. Belle was normally a giggly drunk, not a forgetful one.
Nevertheless, he got up and opened the door. Ruby was there with her arm around Belle, who was looking pale and drawn and not at all tipsy. It was enough to alarm him.
“Is everything ok?”
Ruby nodded. “Yeah, too many mojitos too quickly but she’s ok now. Not in the right frame of mind to continue the evening, though.”
Belle stepped into the house. “I need to brush my teeth, but I’ll be back down in a minute. Thanks for looking after me, Ruby.”
“It’s nothing, babe, you know that.”
Belle went upstairs, but Ruby didn’t move away from the door.
“Can I talk to you?” she asked. “It won’t take a sec. Belle’s… Look, you need to talk to her, ok? You need to ask her about what’s going on in her head because she won’t tell you without prompting, and you need to know what’s going on. So please, to save you both anymore heartache, please ask her what’s going on.”
Gold nodded dumbly as Ruby made her way back down the drive to the taxi, and he stood there in the doorway for a long time after it had driven off.
“Aiden?”
Belle’s touch on his shoulder brought him back to reality and he closed the door, following her into the living room.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked. “Ginger tea to settle your stomach?”
“No, I’ll be ok now.”
She sat down on the sofa, moving the clockwork sketches before running her hands through her hair with a groan. Gold thought about Ruby’s words. It was probably better to bring up the subject sooner rather than later, especially if it was still fresh in Belle’s mind having obviously been talking – or perhaps not talking, that was the point – about it with Ruby and Mulan. And of course, if he didn’t bite the bullet and do it now then he’d keep finding excuses to put it off. Like the fact that she was probably a bit drunk and wasn’t feeling well and the middle of the night wasn’t the best time to have this kind of conversation…
He bit off that train of thought and sat down beside Belle. It was now or never.
“Belle… What’s going on? I mean, you know… With us.”
As soon as the words were out of his mouth he was convinced that he had said the wrong thing, because Belle immediately began to cry. He was about to apologise and try to take it all back when she reached out for him blindly, wrapping her arms around him in a vice-like grip and burying her face in his shoulder. At least the fact that she was seeking him out for comfort felt like a good sign, and he put his arms around her, pulling her in against his chest and trying to soothe her as best he could, without really knowing what had caused her to break down in the first place.
At last she quietened, and after a long period of tense silence, she spoke.
“I want you,” Belle whispered, leaning into Gold’s chest as he held her close. “I miss us being together. I miss us making love, I miss your hands and your lips. I want you so badly I can hardly bear it, but at the same time, every time I think about it and I think about how much I want it, something in my head screams at me that I shouldn’t want it, that it’s a sin to want it, that sex isn’t for me to enjoy, it’s just something that I have to do in order to satisfy you and make a baby. It feels so good and that makes me feel so bad, because it shouldn’t feel so good.”
“Oh Belle…” As much as it was a relief to know that Belle still desired him, even if she didn’t want to act on those desires, Gold had no idea how to get her out of the terrible spiral of shame that she had found herself in. “Belle, you can’t beat yourself up for enjoying sex, that’s…”
He didn’t want to say that it was ridiculous; because it wasn’t. This was the was the way that Belle felt about the whole affair and her feelings were valid, even if he couldn’t hope to get his head around them having never experienced the same kind of feelings that she was wrestling with now.
“I don’t want to!” Belle exclaimed. “Do you think I enjoy feeling like this? It makes me bloody miserable, Aiden! I don’t want to feel like this anymore! Sometimes I wish I’d never done it in the first place, then at least I wouldn’t be feeling like this!”
Her words felt like a slap in the face, and Gold pulled back as the horrific realisation dawned.
It was all his fault, and there was nothing that he could do to make it better because what he had done could not be undone. If he’d just left Belle alone then she’d be fine. He could have lived with a celibate marriage if it meant that Belle was happy. He should never have pushed her, God, he should never even have touched her if he had known just how horrible it was going to make her feel. She hadn’t been ready, and as the more experienced one in their relationship, he should have seen that and respected it.
Fuck, he was a monster.
“I’m sorry.” It was hardly enough to make up for all the pain that he’d caused her, but it was a start. He got up off the sofa, backing off from her. “Belle, I’m so sorry.”
Belle blinked. “Why are you sorry?”
“I pushed you into something that you weren’t ready for. I put my desires above your needs, and that’s something that I can never take back. I’m sorry, I should have waited for you.”
“You did wait for me. You waited for me for three years, I think you’re entitled to expect some output after that.”
“No! I’m not entitled to anything! You don’t owe me anything, Belle. It’s not your duty to be sexually available at my whim.”
“Yeah, well, tell that to the nuns who expect me to open my legs and satisfy my husband whenever he wants and then call me a whore for doing so! I can’t win, Aiden. No matter what I do, I can’t win. They’ll always think the worst of me unless I’m like them. I just can’t win against them. It’s like they want me to be miserable, so they rig the game and make sure that every hand I play, I’m going to lose. I have to have sex, and yet I can’t enjoy it, what kind of fucked up way of thinking is that!”
Belle suddenly went silent, staring down at the floor, and she buried her face in her hands.
“They screwed me up. They got in my head before I got married, and then you managed to get them out again, and I was almost back to normal, and then they got back in. Oh God, Aiden, I need help.”
She burst into tears again then, loud, wracking sobs filled with pain and misery, and Gold couldn’t have stayed away if he’d tried. He had to comfort her, just as he comforted her when she cried in the middle of the night. He had to let her know that it wasn’t her fault, and that he would help her get better even if he couldn’t undo the things he’d done to make her feel this way in the first place.
“I need help,” Belle gasped through her tears. “Christ, I think we both do. I need to get these bloody nuns out of my head. I don’t understand how what they say can make no sense at all and can still make me so fucking upset. I just want to feel normal again. I want to enjoy having sex with you again. Because I did enjoy it, and I don’t regret it. I could never regret that. Making love with you was wonderful. Learning to love you like that… It was the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t blame you for me feeling like this. Before we went back there… I’d never been happier than I was when I was with you and I was feeling so much joy that I’d never experienced before.”
Gold took a deep breath, holding Belle close. Maybe it wasn’t his fault after all. Maybe the blame could all be laid squarely at Storybrooke’s door.
“I just wish I knew how to stop feeling like this. I need help.”
Belle fell into silence, and then, in a sudden burst of movement, she grabbed her purse from the floor and rummaged around in it, coming up with a scrap of paper.
Archie Hopper, it read, along with a phone number.
Gold looked at the paper and then at Belle, raising his eyebrows.
“He’s Ruby’s ex,” Belle murmured. “He’s a therapist.”
She turned to Gold and gave him a weak smile. “I think that maybe Ruby and Mulan are right. I think that I need professional help.”
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glitchexmachina · 4 years
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𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑬𝑻. repost,  don’t reblog !
(We’re doing this for the DCTV verse)
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𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬.
FULL NAME  ….  Tyson Seamus Owens NICKNAME  ….  Ty, GLITCH, Nerdipedia (given to him by Mick Rory, because he refuses to call him Glitch.  Irish was a close second but he didn’t want to call the kid by a name that sounded like Flash’s wife’s name.  That’d be weird...) GENDER  …. Male SIZE  ….   5 ft 11 AGE  …. early to mid twenties (mainverse) ZODIAC  ….  Gemini SPOKEN LANGUAGES  ….  Everything (a universal translator accident zapped his language center of his brain and he can understand and speak any language as if it was English)
𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬.
HAIR COLOR  ���. Brown EYE COLOR  …. Hazel SKIN TONE  ….   medium light BODY TYPE  …. Tech nerd with love for video games. VOICE  ….    Irish DOMINANT HAND  …. right POSTURE  ….  passable SCARS  ….  yes.  He has one less than he did before Crisis TATTOOS  ….  no BIRTHMARKS  ….  no MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S)  …. charming smile, muscular arms from lifting machinery
𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝.
PLACE OF BIRTH  ….  Gotham City HOMETOWN  …. Gotham, but lives in a lot of cities all over  SIBLINGS  ….  Danielle (sister, younger) PARENTS  ….  Daniel (father), Maggie (mother)
𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞.
OCCUPATION  …. Director of R&D for Daedalus Labs/Adventurer/Vigilante/Engineer/Legend CURRENT RESIDENCE(S)  … The Workshop (main base of operations can open itself to shell apartments in major cities), Apartment in refurbished clocktower that’s close to Star City and Central City, bunk room aboard Waverider  CLOSE FRIENDS  ….  Barry Allen, Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor, Cisco Ramon, Thea Queen, The Legends (team roster ever changing), Emily Sung, Celine Patterson, Garth Townsend, Violet Rhodes, Daisy May DeLaCroix, Gundloch Bjornson RELATIONSHIP STATUS  ….  varies (pre-crisis)/ it’s complicated (post crisis) FINANCIAL STATUS  ….  upper middle DRIVER’S LICENSE  ….  Yes CRIMINAL RECORD  …. it’s complicated VICES  …. peanut butter, talks a lot, uses esoteric references to explain things, 
𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞.
SEXUAL ORIENTATION  …. hetero PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE: supporter, but often has to be forced into the role of the supported PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE  ….  does well with direction, but can improvise TURN ONS  …. strength, intelligence, sense of humor, nerdiness, people who listen TURN OFFS .. snobs, being scolded like a child, cruelty waved off as teasing LOVE LANGUAGE  …. he offers you his favorite food (especially peanut butter cups), he gets you your favorite food, forehead bumps, hand holding RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES  …. Tends to date people who can take care of themselves, someone who can be the other half of an epic battle couple.
𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬.
CHARACTER’S THEME SONG  …. Technologic (Daft Punk) HOBBIES TO PASS TIME  …. audio books, movies, music, video games,  MENTAL ILLNESSES  ….   PTSD (and that’s as far as I can go until I learn more) LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED  ….  yes PHOBIAS  ….  Weeping Angels, dying alone, giant squids (but come on dude, who isn’t?) SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL  …. 7/10
tagged by : @adventurepunks​ by technicality
tagging : @katekanesss​ @theaxquccn​ @walkerofclouds​ @damagedbyfate​ (Lorna) @brokexpieces1​ @superhumanherosredo​ (Pax) @bluehaired-tales​ @yellowskinnedwackyman​
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eosofspades · 3 years
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tfw you can get a free pride flag but you don't know what your sexuality is oh god oh fuck
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thesanguinerose · 4 years
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Rory Redacted Survey Thing
Tagged by @queenofeden so RIP everyone, I'm posting on mobile and have no read more :[
EDIT: Readmore established hehe...
BASICS
Name: Riordan Tanner[given name]
Riordan O'Marcaigh[mother's maiden name/aunt's last name]
Riordan Devorak [post game]
Nickname(s)/Titles: Rory (Everyone calls him this), Ro (Julian), Rory Redacted (inside joke)
Age: 27 [start of game]
Birthday: April 11
Zodiac Sign: sun Aries, moon Sagittarius, rising Leo
Gender: male [trans right babey]
Pronouns: he/him
Orientation: bi [male pref]
Favorite flower: carnation
Favorite food: steak, medium-rare 
Favorite drink: apple cider [hot/cold/alcoholic/non...all of it]
Love Interest: Julian. I use him for all of them, but his backstory and personality is so perfectly crafted for the Julian route that it feels weird with anyone else now.
APPEARANCE/PHYSICAL TRAITS
Height: 5'2" - [5'4"-5'5" with heels/heeled boots, which he always wears]
Weight: 165
Body type/build: Average build, slightly thicker. Round/heart shaped face, upper body is thinner with a layer of muscle under the soft - gets more muscular post-game due to the time spent on a ship. Thick/strong legs, has an ass 😌
Skin: white and ruddy, pink/warm undertones
Hair: dark brown, kept long/below his shoulders. Ties it into a ponytail, messy bun, or loose braid sometimes. Intricate braiding and hairpieces/rings are for special occasions. Cuts it above his shoulders once and hates it.
Eyes: Green
Distinguishing features: freckles, left ear is pierced at the lobe and a few times on the cartilage. Wears earrings in all holes, usually wears a silver chain earring connecting the lobe to cartilage.
Clothing: 
pre-game > lots of sheer shirts over crop tops, shorts, leggings, couture inspired masquerade outfits, silver accessories only - gold washes him out. Signature colors are blue and silver. As the plague spread, kept himself more covered, though the fabrics were still sheer. Worn canvas or linen shirts at Best.
During game > white linen undershirt, modified stay over it to act as a binder, a white gauze shirt over that with sleeves rolled up, navy vest/jerkin, tan pants, brown heeled boots, his black handbag of holding.
Physical health: he needs glasses to see. Is overall in ok health. Allergic to three types of trees all of which are in the surrounding area, prone to hayfever, his joints click.
PERSONALITY/INTERESTS
Personality: 
PreGame > confident to a point that it is irritating and rude, blunt, quick to anger, doesn't cry, cares about people but pretends not to, bad at making connections with people, needs to be wanted and latches on to people who have feelings for him, doesn't tell people Things About Himself. It's all a defense mechanism - he's deeply sensitive and feels a lot, but doesn't understand how to express it in a way that makes sense. Doesn't wear his glasses bc they make him look like a nerd. Pride and hubris are his ultimate downfall, doesn't listen to people he cares about because once he's decided he's doing something, he's going to do it. Died with a laundry list of regrets.
InGame > jumpy and antsy, doesn't like going outside because it's a lot, but longs for adventure. Kinder now that The Weight Of Life has not pressed itself upon him. Mom Friend instincts, will rise to the challenge during an immediate crisis, but once it's over, he needs to be taken care of. Quick to cry. Embarrassingly quick to cry. Gradually gains his confidence back in a healthy way, still incredibly impulsive, is more open and communicative with his feelings. Still quick to anger.
Likes: being right, dogs, tea, shiny/sparkly things [esp pretty rocks and jewelry], fashion, horses, fire.
Dislikes: being told he's wrong/not getting what he wants, blood magic, people who don't cover their mouths when they sneeze, waiting, being called cute or any variation thereof. Do Not Call Him A Witch.
Fears: being known and by extension rejected, the dark, spiders, water
Habits: tapping his fingers on things, touching any and all textiles that catch his eye, picking at his nails, making promises he has a hard time keeping
Mental health: ADHD - emphasis on RSD esp pre game. Translates into anxiety in-game/post-game. Varying degrees of depression and suicidal ideation pre game.
LIFE
Residence: born in unnamed Fantasy Ireland, lived in Prakra for 4 years[16-20] has lived in the shop in Vesuvia since[20-27]
Occupation: magician, shopkeep, prakran magic school alumni. Formerly: leathersmith's apprentice, doctor's apprentice
Skills: sewing/embroidery, basic alchemy, illusion based magic [esp in a party/theatrical context], divination, conjuration, horseback riding, general showmanship, arguing/debating
TRIVIA -Mostly pregame/backstory based.
Grew up on a farm that handled livestock primarily. Also raised horses.
Repressed his talent for magic due to it making his mother and the villagers uncomfortable.
Jumping off that: Mommy Issues ™ 
Has incredibly good intuition and is a natural at divination, but he is predisposed to giving negative readings or only having a Spidey Sense when something bad is going to happen. As a result, abhors divination because he thinks either 1. It's wrong [it isn't his life is just a mess], 2. He can't do it right or 3. He's the reason bad things happen.
Had a border collie named Patches his aunt gave him when he was on his way to Prakra. Status post death is unknown. Also has a horse named Callam who he's had since he was about 8. Status post death is unknown.
Had a younger brother named Riley who went MIA during battle. Likely killed by the plague. It runs in the family.
Is allergic to three types of trees and has to wear very specific gloves and a mask when gathering herbs so he doesn't break out in hives.
Kept an extremely detailed journal. It documents his life from when he left home to his death. Has doodles. So many doodles. Not really cohesive, but it makes sense to him. Also has shopping lists. [Out of use post-death, but Rory reads it post-game]
Did he mention he went to the magic college in Prakra? Because he went to college and if you didn’t know, well, he sure will tell you about it.
Was incredibly close with his Aunt, who was basically Him but Nicer and Watered Down.
Speaks fantasy Gaelic fluently before his death, esp with his Aunt. Taught Asra curse words. loses most of it when he's brought back. Also loses part of his accent, falling into general Vesuvian, though it shines through when he speaks quickly and on specific words.
Is 90% talk and 10% action. He's a weenie.
Made a Bag Of Holding in magic college - Carries it everywhere both pre and in-game. Works like a Mary Poppins bag, but small and black and stylish. Goes with everything.
Had time to settle into his gender identity and presentation in pre-game, is utterly unapologetic. Had mild dysphoria but nowhere near as bad as current/post. Current Rory starts from scratch and has to work back up to feeling okay, but has general "oh bad" feelings for a while. Bad feelings are only exacerbated by the Fool's body before he understands it. Takes a lot of work to do so. He ends up okay!!
Had two sexual partners before his death, but dated a whole lot of people. Very picky about who he does things with, but also needs to be desired. Broke a lot of hearts out of boredom and the fear of being vulnerable.
LOOKS ™ 
Pregame:
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In/postgame:
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Another Fic Rec List-- Bigger and Crazier!
So my general grouping for fics was what’s on-going and what’s finished. For authors, it’s a free-for-all with me trying to hit everything they’ve written and their writing styles. For the Solavellan fic rec, you’ll find it here.
FanFiction List Unfinished/Ongoing Second Dawn by Writerly, chapters 52/?, rating M (violence and gore), plenty of angst, identity crisis, and-most importantly-fluff, Aloy & GAIA, Aloy & Elisabet Sobeck, Elisabet/GAIA LISTEN. *deeply inhales* l i s t e n. The Horizon Zero Dawn fandom literally said “hold by beer and my flower,” and we mere mortals of every other fandom must do just that. I have read A LOT of fanfic and holy shit. Not even the sacred texts of the Good Omens fanfics like Manchester Lost or The Sacred and the Profane can compare to the absolute roller coaster of emotion this brings. Also I hope Ted Farro chokes for all eternity. Synopsis: Aloy gets GAIA back online after months of searching for the parts she needs and days spent recreating GAIA’s base systems. Aloy and GAIA get to know each other, and GAIA realizes Aloy is missing something crucial that both definitely need: Elisabet Sobeck. I REFUSE to say anymore! If you are gonna read this, you definitely NEED TO. Writerly really captures who Aloy is as a person, brings GAIA to life literally and figuratively, and the journey Elisabet is set on in this new world a millennia after her death is beautiful and achingly heartbreaking. This and two other HZD fics I’m gonna rec get me close to tears way too often.
anthropotheism by penhaligon, chapters 17/?, rating G, angst and bittersweetness, found family, Aloy & Everyone The second HZD fic on this rec list. It’s set post game, following Aloy bringing together the components needed to bring GAIA back online. She ends up finding several of the Subordinate functions who reached sentience along the way such as ELEUTHIA who takes a shine to Varl, arguably the best character next to Aloy (ok so I’m biased. shhhh). Aloy ends up recreating the Alphas as she brings allies and friends into the fold on what she’s doing, while on a timetable to stop an unexpected adversary (no not HADES) who caused the destruction of GAIA Prime. I’m constantly blown away by this fic? Each chapter is a ride, with switching point of views that never disappoint in furthering the plot. Nothing ever seems like filler. Everyone is so alive in this and I love penhaligon’s personalities given to each subordinate function. I especially love that they all see each other as family, with Aloy as their big sister and GAIA as their mother. And it’s mostly Aloy’s fault, though she doesn't seem to mind.
The Good In You (the Bad In Me) by @wonderingtheblue, chapters 6/8, rating G, fluff overdose, pre-powers, ColdFlash, DCTV-verse I literally COULD NOT gush about this fic, or the author. Barry is chasing the impossible, becomes friends with Lisa Snart, accidentally romances her brother. There’s an encounter with Damien Darhk that’s reaaaally weird! There’s puppies! Cute kisses! Supernatural marathoning! You know nothing, Joe West! Like, I haven’t read this fic recently and I STILL think about this fic. Mick Rory is a fucking saint.
Of Numbers and Strange Friendships by Nekoamamori, chapters 33/?, rating T, fluffy with some angst, Loki & Peter Parker friendship, MCU If you’ve seen that post floating around of how Loki is a teenager in Asgardian years, and thus closer to Peter’s age, you’ll DEFINITELY know where this is from. Loki is sent to Earth for “rehabilitation” with the Avengers and ends up becoming the aggressively over-protective sibling to our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man. Bonus points to Peter helping Loki’s murder-cat tendencies.
Lethal Guardian by EvilCopepod, chapters 10/?, rating M (gore and extreme violence), a dash of angst and sack full of fluff, Eddie Brock and Peter Parker mentorship, Venom (2018) and MCU x-over It’s literally the cutest thing. Our dumb duo come to NYC chasing a lead and end up getting Peter involved (tho he kind of already was) and while Venom wants to eat Peter, all of Brock’s Dad Instincts are like “holy shit a kid! Who is being reckless! Shit! Gotta protect him!” So Venom has to allow Brock to mentor Peter. Both in fighting and in English class. He needs to get that grade up! And not let Tony know he’s definitely befriended the Demon of San Francisco.
Darcy Lewis: Archaeologist (one must howl with the wolves one is among) by RaginaPacisDux, chapters 37/?, rating Mature (violence and gore), sharp wit and cuteness with plenty of angst. Darcy is an archaeologist! Like, a really cool, actually cares about preserving history (unlike Indiana Jones. Yes i fired those shots.) archaeologist. She ends up having a badass Asgardian bracelet that turns into a golden whip! It becomes a race around the world to preserve Asgardian artifacts and stop Hydra, alongside her amazing team of undergrads and mentors, Bucky Barnes, and help provided by her recently met dad, Tony Stark. I love the imagery, and the badass but soft women. Natasha is awesome! All the original characters are amazing! And I’m like 90% the author actually does archaeological digs. They know too much to not be!
Superhero Adoption Agency by brushstrokesApocalyptic, chapters 2/3, rating T+, family feels and adorableness, post Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse Miles’s dad keeps trying to adopt the spider heroes despite Miles continuously telling him that he can’t (for one Miles is Spider-Man and for another Gwen is from another universe where she hasn’t been dead for ten years)
Finished/One-shots Duality by NorthernGhost, chapters 41/41, rating T+ (violence and panic attacks), angst and confusion and a bit of cuteness, Elisabet Sobeck & Aloy THIS FIIIIIIIIIIIIC. I wish this was canon tbh. I’m on chapter 16, and then I get to start Binary (it’s sequel!!!!) Elisabet and Aloy are separated by nearly 1,000 years and yet are starting to share bodies. It’s mostly from Elisabet’s pov and she thinks she’s losing her absolute shit at the start. We get a happy helping of her fellow Alphas (including my girl Samina!!!!!) and Elisabet floundering in Aloy’s world. It’s so fun.
those left behind (we take up arms) by petrichor, one-shot, Unrated (I’d say G, if you’re concerned), very angsty, Aunt May during- and post Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse Essentially it’s Aunt May processing her grief over SPOILER ALERT Peter’s murder. And her subsequently using the law to tear Kingpin apart since she can’t physically. I definitely cried, but I’m also very weak hearted with these kind of fics and am not an accurate judge.
Molly Lives Y’all series by Awesome_Sause432, two fics, chapters 25/25 & 42/42 respectively, rating T, HIGH LEVEL ANGST, Mollymauk and Shakäste being bros, Critical Role Campaign 2 Soooooooooo, I just started this series. And I. fuckin’. loVE IT. I’m only three chapters in but I’m just. Like. Hnnnng. You need to read. I can’t make a real proper judgment right now but the gist is Shakäste is a bro, brings Molly back, they go on an adventure (or 12?) to get his memories back, and it’s great. I especially love that the author explicitly states they stabbed canon in the back in a fit of grief that ended in them writing this series. Delightful.
The Price of War by @shu-of-the-wind, chapters 24/24, rating M (violence and gore), HIGH LEVEL ANGST, humor, and Lawyer Talk. Darcy Lewis as a lawyer with Nelson & Murdock? Her entire background is completely different from Thor (2011) but still amazing? Written by a deity of an author? Why yes, yes this is that. Slight changes to canon, expansions on a lot of it, Twitter fights, and Jennifer Walters! It’s all so exciting! And daring! And I’m totally making this sound lame BUT ITS NOT. If you’ve hear of Swallow on the Beam then you know who Shu is. Once you finish TPOW, go read the rest in the series. Warning for the series not being complete!
Baba by Crownofpins, chapters 32/32, rating Explicit (they’re PORN YALL, also blood and violence), HIGH LEVEL ANGST, Alucard/Trevor Belmont/Sypha Belnades, Castlevania pre-s2 I hope you’ve heard of Baba Yaga (not talking about my hamster) and are fond of folktales from the old country because BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUPS. Our trio wanders into a village. It is not just any village, oh no. It’s Baba Yaga’s, the queen Eldritch horror witch. And she has a test for our trio, trials they must go through. And, honestly, Trevor more than the other two (fuckin RUDE). Also horse shenanigans that may or may not have been a fucking kelpie or something equally terrifying (be warned). Backstories that got heavily Joss’d when S2 came out but are just so, fucking, GREAT. Warning for mentions of past sexual violence. Trevor is the purest of the three, which is hilarious and too true.
hand on the harpstring by BucketofWater, one-shot, rating T, kinda angsty kinda fluffy, Mollymauk/Caleb, Critical Role Campaign 2 It’s a 5 and 1 times bit and I love it to pieces. I usually think these are so overdone, but this one was actually really cute. It’s how Molly kissed Caleb five times and the one way Caleb kissed Molly. I did the leg flail thing while reading. Double thumbs up.
the mist upon the hill by BucketofWater, chapters 11/11, unrated (I’d say T, if you’re concerned), very angsty, Mollymauk/Caleb, Critical Role Campaign 2 The soulmate AU where soulmates shares injuries. And Molly is Caleb’s soulmate! …… oh. shit. *ensuing cackling* Molly has no idea this is the deal for most of the fic because Caleb is hellbent of keeping it quiet, even making Nott keep her mouth shut on it. Caleb doesn’t know how to ask, he also thinks he deserves every mark (fuck you Ikithon), and figures its best to leave alone. Certain other parties would disagree and makes very avid changes to fix this mess upon finding out The Truth. Side helping of Beau/Yasha pre-recent episodes.
Trust Me by StillNotGinger10, one-shot, rated G, mostly humor and fluff, identity reveal, ColdFlash DCTV Barry meets Len pre-Going Rogue, is charmed, then Len (attempts to) rob the armored car. Len continuously woos Barry while unknowingly fighting him as the Flash, much to Barry’s exasperation and the team’s delight (except Oliver). It’s so funny. I love it.
Request for Proposals by nirejseki, one-shot, unrated (I’d say T), humorous and cute, ends on ColdFlash DCTV with DCU Len decides he wants to get married. Marriage in this universe is an extensively negotiated contractual agreement. And forever and a day ago, Mick promised to handle Len’s marriage contract. ….. Fuck.
Release the Controls by Astrum_Ululatum, chapters 4/4, rating T, angsty and cute, Original Percival Graves/Newt Scamanader, pre-FBAWTFT 2 Percival ends up deaf from the torture he experienced at the hands of Grindlewald. He also ends up with an Occamy egg in his pocket. Tina and Queenie immediately decide the best person to discuss the Occamy with is Newt, and whether or not it would be a good disability pet. Percival is definitely learning to deal with his PTSD in the fic, and how to raise Daphne (the Occamy) right. This is only part 1 in the Precious Metals series, but can also be a stand alone.
An Occasional Matter of Family by dare_to_do_our_duty, chapters 29/29, rating G, family feels and cute the Winchester Brothers Are Related To Tony Stark. That is all.
That Which You Seek by Wynn, chapters 9/9, rating T+, super angsty with blood and violence, but also cute, Darcy Lewis/Bucky Barnes, post-CA:TWS pre-everything else Darcy just wanted waffles. Bucky just wanted Hydra to leave him the fuck alone. And they ended up on the road trip from hell, with her putting up with NONE of his bullshit.
The Gift series by cariandra, 4 fics, two one-shots, 3/3 & 2/2 in that order, rating T, generally has angst and weirdness, Jupiter Ascending A look at a world where Seraphi was never murdered by Balem and Jupiter was still born on Earth. And Seraphi is more interested in meeting Jupiter and getting to know her, than having her killed. Much to Balem’s anxiety and Titus’s and Kalique’s curiosity.
Legacy by Sandrine Shaw, one-shot, rating M (mass murder and smut!), angsty with power dynamics and Oedipal issues galore, Jupiter Ascending Jupter Jones loses her planet Earth and everyone on it. She convinces Balem to help her get revenge.
Newt Scamander’s Guide to Getting Things Done by arthureameslove, chapters 12/12, rating M, cute and fluffy with a bit of angst That bitch Grindlewald didn’t impersonate Percival but someone else. Percival is completely flabbergasted by Newt and a little smitten. A fix-it of sorts that is just too great to describe properly.
small favors by penhaligon, one-shot, rating G, Aloy centric Aloy gets some help from a big friend. Really cute and funny, wherein Aloy overrides a Thunderjaw and it just… never leaves.
Empty Graves by Unpretty, one-shot, rating T+, angst Ma Kent apparently knows how to shoot a gun and bury bodies behind the barn to protect Clark. Not like she’d remember each instance, what with all the time travel and such.
The Best Intentions by cariandra, one-shot, rating M, Jupiter Ascending I debated having this one up here but when I found it I was like “I doubt its that bad” and it’s not it’s just…. The tags aren’t wrong. It’s like a toy trainwreck in slow-mo and honestly I keep going back to read it.
Peter Parker’s Home for Wayward Villains by BeanieBaby, chapters 43/43, rating T+, no-powers Peter Parker (i think Amazing Spider-Man) Peter decides he wants away from the mess that is NYC and gets a farm with money from his dad, Tony Stark. And then Bucky Barnes shows up. Peter allows him to stay so long as he helps around the farm. Then there’s Wade, and Loki, and more villains show up, looking for a place to laylow. So long as they don’t mess with Peter or ruin his farm, they’re allowed to hang about. So long as they pull their weight. This is really funny and crack-y. It’s the best.
Author List @wonderingtheblue is a MUST for Olivarry, ColdFlash, and ColdFlashWave. I know I already rec’d The Good In You (the Bad In Me) but ITS WORTH IT. Blue has a lovely snark and distinct writing style that just gets my goat. It’s like my thought processes, actually. Blue can really tear your heart apart when it comes to angst or bittersweetness, but also knows how to sooth you just write. The wit is quick and sharp, jokes easy to grasp, and I just love it. So much. There’s a reason I tag you as “wondering love”, Blue.
QueenWithABeeThrone is legit the Queen of Crossovers. I have NEVER seen so many fics, of such a diverse and wacky mix. I first found her through her frankly perfect Marvel’s Defenders/Stranger Things crossover come on and let me know (should i stay or should i go?) and then ended up sucked into her Hamdevil AU series city of the future that is too damn good. Ugh. I’ve reread it a lot. Her Winter Soldier!Steve Trevor AU (the winter soldier AU is her MO guys. ITS GREAT.) and her SW/MCU x-over I’m so glad to have found so I’m not alone in that sandbox. Recently Queen has been on a Critical Role binge, particularly of the Mollymauk and Percy persuasions. They’re all amazing fics, but I definitely recommend you first check out the Defenders/ST x-over, the Hamdevil AU, and her… wait for it… Winter Solider Mollymauk fic! She has a WS!Obi-wan, too, in case you want a Space Flavor. Queen’s brand of humor is hard to pick up but once you do you’re consistently giggling, and her sentences are either short and snappy or long and flowing. It’s great for fight scenes and breaks between them, or the reversed. I end up never wanting for more. Everyone sounds very distinct and you could tell who is speaking when even without dialogue cues thanks to such clear cut voices.
Wynn is, in general, an amazing writer. I know I say this about everyone, but she really does bring across the emotions and depths of every character. I recommended That Which You Seek above, and she has tons more. They’re mostly in the Darcy Lewis-centric type, Shu’s fics. That doesn’t mean Darcy necessarily has the limelight, tho. Everyone gets their own screen time and always has a set plan for each section they're in. The character isn’t just their to take up space. It always delights me, ready to figure out what is going on.
@amusewithaview is goddess among mortals when it comes to certain Darcy Lewis au’s. She started the Darcy is Anck-su-namun trend, pretty sure helped kick off the ABO trend, wrote gorgeous Belle/Gaston fic, and has a hilarious and fun blog that is currently Dragon Age oriented. Which, speaking of! She’s written a few fun pieces for that too! I won’t bring up the wolf smut save in passing, but their is the fic she started concerning pack dynamics and the Inquisitor!
This is six pages long and took four hours. Acknowledge me.
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stluciasstudentjail · 6 years
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UFO, photo album, microscope, psyche for Cas, Cameron, Rory, Renee, and Alister.
I got my wisdom teeth out and took a nap n now I can finally answer at least one of these 2nite
UFO
Cas: One thing noticeable about Cas is his gentle demeanor. He tries too hard to get people to like him and acts as good natured as possible, but it can come off as fake. He genuinely is a friendly person, though. He probably wouldn’t identify as any specific sexuality, not because he doesn’t want to but because he’s oblivious to the terms. He’s bisexual with a preference for women.
Cameron: He makes himself known as soon as he walks into a room, so he can easily be identified by his energy. It can either brighten up a room or irritate people. He has a temper, but settles down very quickly and  rarely holds grudges. As for his sexuality, he identifies as straight but has had crushes on boys before. He’s just oblivious to it.
Rory: She seems very unapproachable, but she’s short with soft features so it doesn’t really intimidate anyone. She’s abrasive and sarcastic, especially when she’s in a bad mood. And unfortunately for her, she’s also completely straight.
Renee: She’s very open and friendly, and loves to tease and poke fun at her friends. She likes to check up on the kids every so often. When she’s irritated, she seems aloof. She’s bisexual, openly. She prefers women for the most part, with few exceptions.
Alister: He comes off as very calm and assertive, and a bit irritable. He’s honest with his friends, generally speaking. He likes to be asked for help. Usually good at staying rational outside of his own issues. He prefers women, but has dabbled in the past. He’d identify as ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (mostly straight) 
photo album
Cas: One of his favorite memories is going on vacation with his family. His father was loving, but had a hectic job so it was one of the few times they’d have a lot of time together. He mostly remembers playing with Shana, and it’s a memory he’s glad he was able to bring back to the surface.
Cameron: He has a couple good memories, I guess. He liked it when both his parents were out of the house and his brother would let him do whatever he wanted (and by that I mean he wouldn’t harpy shriek at him for getting himself a snack or something like his evil mom) n they’d hang out n make fun of the infomercials on tv because god knows their parents didn’t care about cable
Rory: Her parents liked to dote on her, so she has a lot of good memories with them. Her father used to buy her a stuffed animal whenever he had to leave for a few days (hmmm) so she remembers that fondly. All her stuff is gone tho because of you know whomst.
Renee: She has very few good memories of her childhood, but realizing she could actually connect with friends and make her own family was one of the greatest moments of comfort for her.
Alister: His better memories are probably along the same line as Cameron’s. In particular, when Cameron tried to DIY a birthday present for him. It looked like shit, so he had to try not to laugh. Nice gesture tho
microscope:
Cas: May turn his sweater inside out instead of washing it in a pinch.  Has a persistent cowlick. Thinks reptiles are cool. Had a dinosaur phase as a child. Reads a range of different books, and some are Not Good. Uses five sugar cubes in his tea. Has a lot of pet hair on his clothes that he can’t seem to brush off. His favorite drink is hot chocolate, and he doesn’t care if it’s instant.
Renee: She has a gentle, good natured laugh even when she’s making fun of her friends. She likes plain green tea with honey after dinner. She’ll take way too long do decide what to buy when she’s out shopping. Good at singing, but gets flustered when she’s caught. Will buy birthday gifts weeks ahead. A dog lover. Loves have her hair played with.
Rory: Used to be self conscious about her freckles, but Renee said they’re cute so she tries to own them. Loves cute things, but thinks it’s embarrassing. Spends a lot of time brushing her hair in the morning. She actually puts a lot of effort in school and gets pretty good grades. Her classmates think she’s aloof or even shy if they haven’t talked to her. She’s very athletic and has a competitive streak.
Cameron: Will hold out wearing hoodies as long as possible even if it’s a bit warm. Doesn’t have to do much with his hair. Holds off doing his homework until the last second. Falls asleep in class sometimes. Had a lot of casual dating but didn’t really want to get anywhere with it bc he’s a bit of a romantic. Can’t hold his alcohol very well. Will scratch in a fight if he has to.
Alister: Spends maybe too much time looking out for the dumb squad. Drinks a lot of coffee, doesn’t use sugar but adds milk because he thinks it’s gross on it’s own. When he does sleep he usually does so on the couch.  Very attentive to his dog, but is really more of a cat person. Hasn’t interacted with most of his neighbors but knows all of them by name through their white trash fighting and knows all their drama. 
Psyche:
Cas: PTSD, definitely. And some anxiety, to top it off. He has panic attacks every so often, but controls them quite well by distracting himself. If not, he’ll call someone up and talk about something completely unrelated to get his mind off it. He’s very bad at managing his emotions in a crisis, and will go into full panic mode and be pretty much a wreck.
Cameron: Sooo many abandonment issues. He’s very insecure and is constantly seeking validation. In a crisis he’ll put on a complete facade even if he’s scared and probably end up getting himself hurt just to try and look like he’s not useless.
Renee: She’ll have flashbacks sometimes, or nightmares. Usually she just tries to be close to someone until she feels better. She manages them well for herself by trying to talk herself down. In a crisis, she’s very collected and won’t usually outwardly panic.
Rory: PTSD, panic attacks, and fear of touch… oh, and a lot of nightmares. She covers it up, but will crumple in a crisis at times because she’s just a kid. She copes outwardly by being abrasive and unapproachable.
Alister: PTSD, parentification, and a lot of abandonment issues. He copes with it through apathy and sarcasm. He also has pretty bad insomnia, nightmares, flashbacks etc. He has been known to self medicate, usually with alcohol. Probably the most collected in a crisis, and has the hardest exterior to crack.
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architectnews · 3 years
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"The great challenges we face do not conform to neat disciplinary silos"
The coronavirus pandemic has revealed both a need and a desire for architects to adopt new ways of working, say the authors of Architects After Architecture, Harriet Harriss, Rory Hyde and Roberta Marcaccio.
The intersecting crises of 2020 – global pandemic, economic downturn, reckoning with racial injustice, all set against the backdrop of a climate breakdown – seem to be fundamentally incompatible with the profession as it is currently constructed. In many cases, the profession itself is part of the problem. While we all set out to do good, today we can instead find ourselves asking: "are we the baddies?"
Last year invited a radical reevaluation of priorities and revealed a latent desire for new ways of working. Architects and students of architecture are eager for new paths forward, looking beyond the arbitrary limits of the profession to address these systemic crises.
Our new book, Architects After Architecture: Alternate Pathways for Practice, brings together 40 practitioners who are doing just that. They have used their architectural training in new and resourceful ways, going beyond the conventional notion of practice, where one works on buildings commissioned by those who can afford it, to redefine who they work for, where they work, what kinds of questions they ask, and what kinds of answers they can give.
Last year invited a radical reevaluation of priorities and revealed a latent desire for new ways of working
We have assembled them into two rough groups. The first, gathered under the heading of "plus", are those who consider themselves to be still working within architecture, but who are stretching the boundaries, redefining what is possible.
We meet Interboro Partners, who have designed an adventure playground in collaboration with local children; Andrés Jaque, whose work reveals connections between architecture and sexuality, identity, and more; Pascale Sablan, whose Say It Loud exhibitions champion women and diverse designers; Holly Lewis of We Made That, who have forged a practice focused on strategy and research directed to the public sector, and many more.
The second group, under the heading of "beyond", is made up of those who have "left" architecture to apply their skills in other disciplines. They have recognised the broad applicability of the architect – as an integrator, a professional generalist, a practical idealist – and applied these skills in service of other questions beyond the building.
Together, they describe a future of architecture that is diverse and engaged, expanding the limits of the discipline, and offering new paths forward in times of crisis
We meet Miriam Bellard, art director at Rockstar North, creators of blockbuster videogames Grand Theft Auto and Read Dead Redemption; Matt Jones, principal designer at Google AI, developing technologies increasingly embedded in everyday life; Malkit Shoshan, whose ongoing work with the United Nations seeks to rethink the overlooked architecture of peacekeeping missions; educator Robert Mull, whose Global Free Unit places architecture students in refugee camps and other zones of uncertainty, and many more.
Together, they describe a future of architecture that is diverse and engaged, expanding the limits of the discipline, and offering new paths forward in times of crisis.
The number of architects who either leave or redefine what they do is surprisingly high. RIBA education statistics show that more than half of the students who have completed the undergraduate bachelor of architecture degree, known as Part I, do not go on to complete the post-graduate Part 3, a requirement for registration as an architect, representing a gap of around 1,600 students per year.
The great challenges we face do not conform to neat disciplinary silos
Rather than sweeping this cohort under the carpet, pretending that they don't exist, and letting them find their own way, what if we were instead to acknowledge their diverse roles and pathways as signs of success? The broad applicability of architectural thinking beyond the building is surely a strength rather than a weakness, it suggests a flexibility of mind, and a high level of transferable competence. Further, what if architecture were promoted as a generalist degree, a way of thinking about the world, rather than a step toward professional accreditation?
It is this flexibility of mind that society needs most of all today. The great challenges we face do not conform to neat disciplinary silos, but cross over into the messy space between politics, economics, culture, and – critically for architects – spatial thinking.
These challenges are defined by their interconnectedness and by change. They cannot be solved with the old processes, but require new forms of thinking and working, combining a planetary consciousness with a responsible humanism that respects and enables local expertise. We find this to be hugely encouraging, a reminder that the architect's combination of skills is what is needed now, if only we can be brave enough to free these skills from the constraints of the building.
But why should architects apply their skills elsewhere? "Stay in your lane!" you cry. "Focus on designing buildings, on what you're good at!" A fair point perhaps, but it overlooks the state architecture finds itself in today. A 2018 headline in the Architects' Journal stated that "Brickies earn more than architects".
There is no reason why a brickie shouldn't be paid more – it's a hard job, and you should be rewarded for doing it – but given the time and expense it takes to train as an architect, this should be a harsh wake up call for all of us. In this book we argue that it is only by going beyond the building, and reframing our work around the public good, that we can recover the unrealised value of architecture today.
A number of the contributions take the form of the personal narrative, the journey from architecture education to their ultimate destination. Most people and practices forged their paths in times of crisis. Faced with great challenges, as we are today, they were forced to reevaluate their priorities and reinvent the way they work.
It is our hope that through these individual stories, of pursuing passion and opportunity, the reader may recognise their own ambitions, and discover a path which they may learn from. But more importantly, through the accumulation of these stories, we hope to illustrate a version of architecture where the limits are no longer fixed, but able to be designed and redesigned. It is by charting these many alternate pathways that we can discover the unrealised potential of architects after architecture.
Harriet Harriss is an architect and dean of the Pratt School of Architecture in New York. Rory Hyde is associate professor of architecture at the University of Melbourne. Roberta Marcaccio is an editor and an educator at the Architectural Association in London. Architects After Architecture features 40 practitioners who have used their architectural training in new and resourceful ways.
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