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#romance is a bitch
vampireadri · 23 days
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Britney Spears and Gerard Way “parallels” (not actually tbh) i just am hyperfixated on both of their music and I think it looks kind of cool cuz of the 2 different aesthetics
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transjudas · 10 days
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4/9/77!
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guinevereslancelot · 2 years
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my favorite ship dynamic is betrayal. not when they betray each other but when one or both of them turn against their cause, their principles and/or loved ones for the other. bonus points if the person they're abandoning everything for didn't remotely expect it. ultimate declaration of love. "you mean more to me than everything i ever believed in. i am more loyal to you than my conscience. i love you more than the thing i would die for."
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headfirst4-halos · 10 days
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Shout out to this strange man for doing his thing all these years
You go girl happy birthday 🎉
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bruciemilf · 30 days
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the batkids bet on which bruce ship will be endgame. they have a whole ass file for it that only babs and tim can see and write in.
dick knows for a fact that bruce and clark having something going on. there’s no way they haven’t at least thought about it.
jason would bet his heart and soul on diana. he doubts bruce could bag wonderwoman out of everyone but he still hopes to have her as his official step mom.
tim is 100% on harvey’s side. have you seen the way those two look at each other? classic “exes who still long for each other” troupe.
damien insists that talia is bruce’s true spouse. he’s their son for goodness sake!
cass doesn’t really care but if she were to chose, ghostbat would be her top pick.
steph throws riddler into the mix as a joke at first, but now she’s diving deeper into the rabbit hole that is his and bruce’s relationship.
similarly to cass, duke isn’t too interested. but between you and me, he swears up and down that hal has made bedroom eyes at bruce before.
Okay but how funny would it be if Bruce dated and broke up with all of them without even realizing
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natalievoncatte · 8 days
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Lena squared herself up after she stepped from the elevator.
This has taken considerable work. She’d had to arrange for her absence from boarding school to go unnoticed, or at least, unremarked upon. If Lillian got wind of her running away, she’d have been skinned alive. Perhaps literally. Since her adoptive father’s death, she’d actually looked forward to school, and to being away from Lillian’s abuse. Lex was now the only thing keeping her from Lena, and Lex was preoccupied with his project.
Her brother had been away for school for some time, but they had summers off together at least. When Lex took over the company when he turned 21, he grew distant and aloof, spending more time with his friend Clark or at work than with family.
With his absence came Lillian.
Still, she had managed to build a support network. Frank, her bodyguard-slash-driver was Lex’s man, but he was useful. Lena had spent months buttering him up to participate in her plan: she needed wheels.
In the meantime she’d acquired blackmail material. The head master at the school gave her a broad latitude after she implied that she might expose certain proclivities of his. That gave her the time away she needed. She’d carefully negotiated a higher allowance from Lex in exchange for accelerating her studies in anticipation of beginning her undergraduate studies at sixteen, which was a triviality for her anyway.
Lena walked down the hall, heart pounding against the backpack clutched to her chest. Each step felt heavy, alive with portent.
She could turn back now. She could turn her back now.
What if she was wrong? Paranoid, addled, as crazy as her mother, just like Lillian said? What if she was about to not only blow up her whole life, but slander her brother. If this went sideways, she didn’t know what exactly would happened to her, but Lillian had once, while tipsy on whisky from Lionel’s stash, told Lena that if not for Lex, she’d have Lena garroted with piano wire and buried on the estate, and like any bag of trash, no one would notice she’d been disposed of.
When she told Lex, her hands shook like leaves. He looked at her for a long cold moment and she worried that he’d slap her or scream or throw her out of the house, but he simply said, “I’ll talk to her about it.”
He did. She never made another threat.
He also brought her a wooden box, ornate and polished. Lex sat next to Lena and opened the box, showing her the contents, lying on red velvet. A five shot snub nose revolver and two speedloaders.
“I’ll teach you how to use this,” Lex said, grimly. “I know you’re smart enough to know if you need to. If anyone tries to harm you, kill them. I’ll clean it up.”
Lena had been terrified of it for months, even as she enjoyed the shooting lessons from Lex, given in a remote part of the estate near a burbling creek, the shots cracking the morning peace and shaking dew from leaves.
She had the gun in her backpack, and her hands were shaking.
The other contents of her bag were a weapon far more devastating. She was about to fire it and she’d have to accept the consequences.
Finally, she stood outside the door. Apartment 18B. The name on the lease was Lois Lane, but according to Lena’s reconnaissance, Clark Kent had been living with her virtually full time for the last six months, not long after something changed in his relationship with Lena’s brother.
Lena’s hand hung before the door for a good minute before she knocked, weekly. She hadn’t considered what might happen if they were simply not home. Her legs felt watery and her eyes burned. She knocked again. She was committed now.
The door swung open and Lois Lane stood before her. She was beautiful in an understated way, obscured by limp hair in a chaotic bun, rumpled clothes, and the stink of coffee on her breath.
“Who- what? Kid, what do you want?”
“I need to see Clark Kent. Is he here?”
“Who’s asking?”
“Lena Luthor.”
There was a gust of wind behind her, and Kent stepped into view.
“Lena?” said Clark. “Lex’s little sister? What are you doing here?”
Lena’s throat went tight. She swallowed hard, and as she anticipated, his demeanor changed. He softened. He craned forward slightly, studying her intently, and his brows shot up when looked at her bag.
He was checking her vital signs and he’d spotted the gun. In the bag.
“He knows you’re Superman,” Lena choked out, “and he’s going to kill you.”
Lois glanced at Clark with a stunned, stunned wide expression. Then, she grabbed Lena and yanked her inside, slamming the door. Lena squeaked.
“How do you know that? Lex knows? Did he tell you? What do you mean he wants to kill Clark?”
“Hey,” Clark said, crouching beside Lena to bring himself to her level, resting a comforting hand on her slight shoulder. “Take a breath, Lena. You’re safe here.”
In Lena’s plan, she was going to begin explaining, starting with how she deduced his identity and lay out what she discovered in his files. That was her plan, but no plan survived first contact with the enemy.
Lena began to sob.
Superman knelt beside her and removed his glasses, and enveloped Lena Luthor in a warm, protective hug. She sobbed harder, burying her face in his shoulder.
“Jesus Christ,” Lois whispered.
She drew the gun out of the bag and checked it with professional, practiced familiarity, dumping the shells into her hand.
“I think she’s telling the truth.”
Clark nodded.
Over the next hour, Lena was swept to Lois’s big couch and sat in the middle while the pair sat on either side of her. When she was hungry, Clark went out to get her favorite guilty pleasure meal, a big greasy burger and fries, and a milkshake too. Between bites, she explained everything, telling them about her brother’s insane plan to turn the sun red.
They believed it all. Lena had receipts.
Eventually, Lena was exhausted, everything had been said, and she sat with dull shock on the couch and stared at the black mirror of a blank television set, marveling at how small and helpless she looked, like a drowned rat.
“Why don’t you lay down for a while?” Lois said, gently. “Here, I’ll put something on the TV for you.”
Lena didn’t make it ten minutes in before she was asleep, curled tightly on one end of the couch with a pillow under her head.
She woke sometime later. It was dark now and she heard voices on the far side of the apartment.
“I called Bruce. He said he’s in, and he’s bringing reinforcements. I’m going to try to get a Green Lantern on board. We have to move fast. Nevermind me, if Lex does this, millions of innocent people will die. We’ll have to move fast.”
“What about the girl?” said Lois. “She can’t go home now. We have to get her somewhere safe.”
“I have to get you both somewhere safe. I should probably come up with a reason to get the building evacuated. One Lex realizes he’s been caught out, he’ll come after both of you.”
“You’re right.”
“I want you to go out,” said Clark. “Make it look like you’re heading out to a convenience store. Bruce is sending Alfred to pick you up, he should be here in an hour. I have somewhere else in mind for Lena.”
“Where?”
“It’s better if I don’t tell you, just in case.”
When he emerged from the back bedroom, Clark Kent was resplendent, clothed in the persona of Superman.
“Lena?” he said, gently. “We have to go. I’ll take you somewhere safe, where your brother won’t find you.”
Lois joined him. “You’re going to put on some of my clothes, and I’m going to check your hair. You can’t take anything with you. Lex Luthor might have been tracking you the entire time.”
Lena’s stomach dropped. What if she was right? That might be a move Lex would play, tracking Lena so that he could use her against his enemy. Lex had become cold, single minded. Lena was wondering how long it would be until she was disposable.
“Okay,” said Lena.
“I’m going to have to fly you.”
Lena did as she was told. She put on an outfit that belonged to Lois, a hilariously oversized Gotham U sweatshirt and leggings. When it was time, Superman bundled her up in his cape.
“I’m scared of heights.”
“I would never drop you,” he said.
Lena screamed when he took off. She was glad for the cape, glad she couldn’t see the ground. She curled up around him and pressed her eyes tightly closed, wondering exactly how fast they were going.
The landing came surprisingly fast. He’d alighted on the grassy lawn of a lovely beach house. Lena smelled something baking and heard voices inside. Clark knocked on the door.
A girl, a little older than Lena, opened the door. Golden curls spilled over her muscular shoulders, and she wore an oversized pair of glasses that did nothing to dull the endless depths of her blue eyes. There was something profoundly sad behind the curiosity in those eyes. She looked at Lena with mild confusion.
Lena stared back. There was a wild stirring in her stomach, and she shifted uneasily on her feet.
Then, the girl addressed Clark in a rapid, clipped, and utterly strange sounding language.
It hit Lena like a shockwave.
They were speaking Kryptonian.
“Lena,” said Superman, turning to her. “This is Kara Zor-El, my cousin. The last daughter of Krypton.”
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ppurgatoryz · 1 year
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i just think.
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aimzicr · 4 months
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Okay but Lae'zel and Gale.
Gale 'I like your musk' and Lae'zel 'I want to taste you'. Gale 'I read that the adrenaline from fighting makes you horny' and Lae'zel 'the battle rage is in my blood - and yes'.
Gale taking notes during the ceremorphosis lesson while everyone else is flinching. Lae'zel kicking Elminster out of camp and then pulling Gale up by his collar snarling for him to pull himself together and acknowledge his own power and strength, or so help her she'll throw him into the dirt.
Gale being smart enough to see the zaith'isk for what it is and talking Lae'zel through (or out of) the procedure. Lae'zel and Tara bonding over killing animals and bringing them to Gale to cook (Tara's not even going to be mad that Gale would prioritise a boar over a pigeon).
Gale apologising for being monogamous after all he's been through, and Lae'zel being 'no-one else can have what is mine, I will not share or be shared with anyone but you'. Battle buffs and fireballs.
Shining silver armour and soft purple velvet. 'Me and the baddest bitch I pulled by being autistic'. Big Buff Warrior GF and her nerd BF.
Is this anything.
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fjordfocused · 6 months
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fascinated by the way Gale pulls the baddest bitches while exclusively speaking like the youngest professor to get tenure at a prestigious university. has a swagless Young And Hip in a Sweater Vest aura that bewitches only the scariest people possible.
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hensel-x · 1 year
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I don’t even know how to explain that one. 
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transjudas · 5 months
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it is very important to have a favorite outfit and it does NOT have to be fancy. (x, x)
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beanghostprincess · 2 months
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We talk a lot about Luffy going "You're in my crew now" to anybody he likes, but Zoro literally heard three guys talking shit about a girl and he went "huh. She's a bitch and smart. It'd be cool to have her with us-"
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agentwashingcat · 7 months
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The thing about Gale's hubris that gets me is that not all of it comes from wanting power for powers sake. I mean, yes, that's some of it of course, have you seen the wizards, they all suffer from delusions of grandeur in this game occasionally but like
Imagine you're Gale. You're in a relationship with the literal goddess of magic (who's also been teaching you magic since you were like 10 or something don't be weird it's totally fine) and you know. You know she's only interested because you're a wizard, and a damn powerful one at that. Wouldn't you also want to amass all the power you could, to keep your status?
And then when you run out of things to learn in Faerun well, there's always the magic of the gods. But they don't want you to learn that. Indeed, when you bring it up to Mystra, she just pats your head and tells you to be satisfied with what you have. Most mortals don't even get this much, why can't you be happy?
It's not like your time might be running short. It's not like there might be some new up and coming prodigy to catch Mystra's eye, and then where does that leave you? Alone with your broken heart and nothing to show for it.
So of course he's going to do what he can to maintain that status. Most people would. And hey, becoming a god would be a pretty cool side effect. It's not like it's that far outside the realm of possibility for mortals to ascend to godhood in Faerun. Even the current Mystra was once a mortal woman.
It just makes me feral that underneath the 5 layers of hubris is a core of insecurity that he's only wanted for what he can do and not who he is. But if he is only wanted for what he can do, he's gonna make sure he's damn fucking good at it.
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amartworks · 8 months
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guess who got hit by Confusion and aggroed against the party
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thechaoticdruid · 3 months
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[We'll Protect Each Other]
Paring: F!Tav x Astarion
Plot: While staying at an inn in the Underdark an unfortunate chain of events forces Tav and Astarion to protect one another.
Content Warnings: Fiercely protective Tav, Tav uses She/Her pronouns, Tav is kinda feral and unhinged, blood, gore, threats of/ literal genital trauma, we are going game of thrones up in this bitch, sexual harassment, brief allusions to Astarion's trauma, violence, so much fucking violence, death, Tav is heavily based on my own Tav Winnie. Oh and a little fluff.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tav hummed as she sat at the tavern table, glancing down upon the suspicious letter she'd received last night. 
‘I'll see you soon, True Soul.’
Been a while since she was called that, almost everyone who had referred to her as a ‘true soul’ was dead now so being addressed as such was rather peculiar, but at the same time not completely unwelcome. Tav smirked slightly, the idea of a new foe to face sparked excitement. It had been so long since the human druid had a good fight.  Since the defeat of the Elder Brain she'd been staying in the Underdark, looking after a horde of hungry vampire spawn. Her days weren't uneventful in the slightest, but gods did she miss adventuring. 
Tav's lover was over at the bar getting the two something to drink. Since the Underdark has become home to seven thousand life-challenged individuals this particular inn had made preparations to feed them should any appear at the establishment. He tapped his claws on the table, waiting for the bartender to finish mixing up their beverages as an uneasy feeling coursed through his body. Astarion had felt unfamiliar eyes on him since he'd left to get him and his beloved some refreshments. His blood red eyes darted back and scanned the tavern. Tav was still waiting at their table and mostly all the other patrons there happened to be deep gnomes, all who seemed much more concerned with friendly banter. But then he spotted someone off in the corner. A tall half-orc whose eyes seemed trained on him.  Astarion wasn't exactly sure how he didn't spot the big oaf sooner, usually he was far more perceptive than this, but perhaps his hunger had him quite distracted. The elven vampire tapped on the bar table impatiently wondering exactly what was taking the bartender so long. 
Eventually the half-drow barmaid brought over the drinks.
“Sorry for the wait.” She said softly, “not used to preparing food for our night time visitors.” The half-elf handed him a cold mug of dessert wine and a warm mug of ethically precured lifeblood.
Astarion took the drinks before turning and making his way back.  The half-orc then made his move, walking straight towards him.  
“Have a drink with me, handsome?” The half-orc gave a flirtatious smile, making the elf internally sigh in annoyance.
“No, I think not. My partner is waiting for me, you see.” Astarion gave a forced smile before attempting to make his way back to Tav. A large green hand was placed on his shoulder.
“Come on! Surely you're not talking about the little rat’s nest of hair? Sweetheart, I could show you things that little human wench couldn't even dream of-”
The elf quickly slapped his hand away. 
“Oh, I highly doubt you could show me anything I haven't already done myself. Now bugger off.” Astarion growled out the last part, barring his fangs at the orc before stomping off. 
Tav glanced up as Astarion took a seat next to her. He had a look of discomfort on his face, but quickly bushed it off as he noticed her attention on him.  “I'm back, my sweet.” Astarion smiled at Tav, setting their drinks down before planting a kiss on her cheek.
“You okay, doll? You seem uncomfortable.” Tav put her hand on his shoulder only to receive a small smile as his hand covered her own.
“I'm fine, love. Just a little annoyed by the wait is all.” Astarion squeezed her hand gently, not wanting her to worry. 
“Okay….” Tav said before looked back down at the letter, taking a sip from the wine Astarion had brought her. 
“What's that?” Astarion asked, sliding an arm over her shoulders before taking a sip from his own mug and internally sighing.
Rothé blood….
“Just an ominous threatening letter left by gods know who.” Tav said casually, nearly making Astarion spit out his blood. 
“Ah darling, perhaps you should be a just little more concerned about this?” 
“I'm not afraid. Let them come get me! I've been itching for a good fight for ages!” Tav clenched her fist, a wicked grin spread across her face. 
“Oh Tav, you know what that bloodlust look does to me.~” Astarion flirted leaning closer against his love. “But maybe we should be at least a bit more careful?”
“We’ve dealt with plenty of baddies before, Star. It’ll be fine!” Tav insisted.
“Need I remind you that there are only two of us now since the others have all gone their separate ways.” Astarion sighed, “I just worry for you, my dear.” 
“I know babe.” Tav planted a kiss on his cheek affectionately before saying,”I'll tell you what, once we get everything sorted out with the other spawn we'll recruit some new traveling companions and go after that ring of the sunwalker thing I heard about.” This brought a smile to the vampire’s lips. 
Large footsteps were heard stomping over to the table. Astarion glanced up seeing the half-orc from before approaching them.
“Sorry about my behavior before sweetness. I've just never seen such a breathtaking looking creature such as yourself. So, how about you ditch the runt and i'll take you somewhere we can get you something better to drink…. Perhaps someone?~” 
“Are you daft? I told you to bugger off!” Astarion snarled, glaring daggers at the large male. Astarion kept his arm around Tav in a protective manner, but it was more so for his own comfort truth be told. The half-orc was really making him uneasy. Tav could feel Astarion shake a little. 
“Hey, no need to be like that, I just want a piece of that tight little elven as-”  The half-orc was suddenly silenced by a scimitar pressed dangerously close to his groin.
“You really don't want to finish that sentence, big guy.” Tav said calmly, not even looking up at the green bastard. “You know I’ve been really itching to slit someone's throat lately, but you….I think I might have fun with you…” She said before finally turning her head towards him, a sadistic grin spread across her lips. 
“Y-You better watch yourself y-you little b-b-bitch!” He whined out the last part feeling Tav press her blade harder against his clothed crotch.
“Oh I like this!” Tav breathed out, voice unhinged and full of bloodlust as the half-orc began to shake in terror. “A big stupid creep thinks he can push me around just because I'm small…It's almost cute how pathetic you are. I should cut you open and show everyone what you really are inside. A gutless coward!” Tav stared at him intensely. The wicked grin spread across her lips didn't falter even for a second, until eventually she sighed.
“But it'd be rude to get blood all over Lyn’s nice clean floors.” Tav said, speaking of the half-drow bartender. “So you're going to leave now and never come near my lover again, or I'll cut your cock off and shove it down your throat. Understand?” Tav spat, nearly stabbing the blade of her scimitar through the orc’s pants.
“Y-Yes m-ma’m!” The half-orc said in a high pitch tone. 
“Good boy.” Tav pulled her blade back, “now get the fuck out of my sight.” She growled, causing the green creep to turn and make a run for it, slamming the door on his way out of the tavern. All the gnomes had seemed to halt their chatter and look over to the two lovers.
“Tav…” Astarion muttered in an irritated tone, “I didn't need you to defend me! I had that completely under control!” He fussed, clearly embarrassed because of the scene Tav had caused. 
“I'm sure you did sweetie, but you can't just expect me to sit by and do nothing when some pervert keeps treating you like a piece of meat.” Tav said calmly. 
“Darling that orc was huge! What if you hadn't been quick enough!? What if he comes back!?”
“Honey, I can literally turn into an owlbear.” Tav rolled her eyes. “I know you’re capable of kicking ass, Star. I have no doubt about that. But I don’t protect you because I think you're weak. I do it because I love you.” Tav said sweetly, placing her hand against his cheek. “And sometimes it's okay to need someone to protect you…” She looked down at his trembling hands. Fear began to stir in her gut, worried that he might have been triggered by the situation. Astarion simply place his hand over hers and relaxed into her touch. 
“I know. I love you too…It's just…I want to be able to protect the both of us…” Astarion glanced off to the side.
“You can! Babe, you're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for! You practically carried our team the entire time we were worm brained!” Tav placed a second hand on the other side of his face. Astarion rolled his eyes with a slight smile.
“Gods Tav, you're such a bad liar.” 
“I'm not lying!” Tav chuckled, “I'm pretty sure you have more kills than the rest of us combined! You're so stealthily and quick! The fuckers never saw it coming!” 
“Well perhaps I could be willing to allow you to win this little debate. Granted you continue to list off all of my many talents, or you can just call me beautiful and we can head upstairs for the evening?” 
“You're beyond beautiful, my Star.” Tav purred. 
        •~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
The night was quiet as Tav and Astarion rested on the top floor of the Inn. Both of them snug in their bed. Astarion always had a tendency to curl around Tav as she slept and he tranced. However, tonight Tav lay there, eyes wide open. Her mind for some reason wandering off to a memory brought on by today's events.
“I assume he belongs to you.” The drow’s eyes leered over Astarion lustfully as she spoke about his as if he was nothing but cattle.
“Excuse me? I don't appreciate you talking about my friend like he's a fucking piece of property.” Tav snapped, stepping in front of her companion protectively. Of course she'd see him that way. The drow treat all their men like cattle. The fact didn't make Tav any less insulted. 
“Now now. No need to speak like that. I only wish to make a trade.” The drow said calmly, however her stare seemed to harden a little. “What is your name, spawn?” 
“It’s Astarion but hold on!” Astarion put his hands up as if to keep some distance between him the drow. 
“Astarion, I've dreamt of being bitten by a vampire since I was a little girl.” She purred. Tav shot the drow a look which she ignored, red eyes locked on Astarion’s mouth.
“Let me get this straight, you want to be bitten?” Astarion asked, a look of confusion and disgust filled his face. Normally he would jump at a chance to sink his teeth into a willing person, hells part of him wanted to drain this bitch dry because of how she talked about him, but this drow pretty as she was her blood smelled worse than death itself! Just being in her presence was enough to make him want to gag! 
“To feel my life’s essence slipping away, to dance on the edge of death, yes I want it.” She said, nearly swooning. “I'll even compensate you. A potion of legendary power. It's not for sale, but it's yours if you bite me.” 
“I will have to decline.” Astarion said immediately.
“Excuse me? This is a once and a lifetime opportunity and you're squandering it!” 
“I gave you my answer!” Astarion spat. The drow woman ignored him and immediately turned to Tav. 
“Can't you talk some sense into your obstinate charge!?” She demanded.
“He said no. The hells do you not understand?” The druid snapped.
Gods, Tav couldn't help but think back to her first encounter with Araj the drow blood merchant. This incident today reminded her far too much of it. Except this time it might have been worse. The fucking orc actually tried to put his hands on him.
Tav furrowed her eyebrows and glanced back over to Astarion’s peaceful looking face. She knew he could handle himself in a fight, but the situation was different. These sorts of things really got to him. Tav ran her fingers gently through his hair. She needed to keep safe no matter what. Sleep took Tav eventually and she snuggled into her vampire’s embrace, enjoying the coolness of his skin.  And for a while the two were at peace, blissfully unaware of what lurked in the shadows.
It was probably about midnight when Tav woke up. She whimpered and felt around the bed for her lover, only feeling emptiness in his place. 
“Astarion?” Her eyes slowly blinked open and Tav sat up. She glanced around the room discovering the vampiric elf was nowhere in sight.  She tried to rationalize that Astarion was probably just up and around since he didn't need as much rest as she did, but Tav couldn't help but feel anxiety creep its way into the back of her mind.  She got to her feet before slowly feeling a dagger be pressed against her throat. 
“Nice to see you again, true soul…” A familiar feminine voice spoke softly in Tav's ear, causing her to grit her teeth as she looked back. 
“Araj? The hells are you doing all the way out here?” Tav sneered. 
“I needed to see you again. I require your help.” 
“I told you before, you aren't getting any more of my blood and if you even think of bringing up Astarion so help me-”
“This isn't about him, darling. This is about you. I am on the verge of something extraordinary, but I need one key ingredient. Your heart.” Araj slowly dragged the knife down her throat and down between her breasts.
Tav rolled her eyes before chuckling.
“Sweet, but you know I'm spoken for.” In a swift motion the druid slammed her foot down on the drow's own before grasping hold of her wrist and forcing the blade away from her body.
“You idiots! Get in here and help me!” Araj suddenly shouted, prompting the door to open, revealed two half-orc male’s and a female. 
With them was Astarion bound with silver chains wrapped around his body. Cloth was tied around his mouth, preventing him from speaking, but Tav could very clearly hear him whimpering in pain. The silver was burning his skin! 
“Now cooperate or else! I'll make sure our darling bloodsuck-” Tav didn't even give the drow a moment to speak any further before knocking the blade from her hand and slamming her fist into her face with enough force to knock Araj to the floor. Araj hit the ground with a thud, seemingly knocked unconscious from the blow. The druid’s eyes quickly went back to Astarion who was struggling and letting out muffled cries of pain, but despite this he looked far more pissed off than afraid.  That didn't calm the rage that was stirring deep inside Tav however, and the fact that the same gods damned perverted orc from before was holding onto Astarion's silver chains just pushed her over the edge. 
Without even thinking Tav dropped to the ground transforming into a huge direwolf before letting out a deep bloodthirsty snarl and lunging right for the familiar half orc. Her jaws sank right into his groin, causing him to let out a blood curdling scream.
“Bloody hells! Get that thing off of him!” The female half-orc shouted. 
“But the vampire!?” The other male orc replied.
“He's tied up you dumb fuck!” She shouted before turning to attack Tav. Tav yanked her head back hard, tearing a chunk out of the half-orc’s flesh and trousers. The half orc continued to scream as Tav spat his unmentionables out before he tumbled over and began to bleed out on the floor. 
“That crazy drow bitch better pay us good for this.” The remaining male half-orc muttered before charging at Tav alongside the female. 
Tav quickly dove under his legs before bucking him to the ground with her back and darting right for Astarion. Astarion shook his head as his wildshaped lover approached him with a doglike whine and sunk her teeth into his chains, trying to he them off him. She was only able to allow one of his arms to slip free. Astarion quickly tore the cloth around his head. 
“For gods' sake Tav! Look out!” He shouted, before suddenly the female half-orc slammed into Tav from behind, wrapping her arms around her in a headlock. 
“I've got her! I've got her!” The female orc shouted. Tav growled loudly before turning round and sinking her teeth into the orc female’s shoulder. In the struggle the two ended up tumbling down the stairs and out the front door of the tavern.  The half-orc male was about to run off after his female companion when suddenly he noticed Astarion had somehow slipped free from his bindings. The vampire’s skin was quickly healing from the burns left from the silver, and his eyes almost appeared to be glowing red. He clenched and unclenched his fists revealing sharp claw-like fingernails and the next thing the half-orc knew were icy fangs piercing his throat.
Outside the tavern, Tav and the female orc were still going at it. The half orc threw a punch to Tav's head knocking her back before she took out a blade and took a stab at the direwolf only for Tav to dart out of the way at the last second and take a bit at the orc woman’s leg. 
“You godsdamn mutt!” She yelled, kicking Tav in the face before plugging her blade into her back.
Tav howled in pain and backed up, blood trickling down her back and staining her fur.  She let out a pained whimper as she looked up at the half-orc.
The she-orc smirked triumphantly.
“Not so high and mighty now are you, druid?” She huffed starring Tav right in the eyes. Without another word Tav lunged at the orc with a monstrous growl, sinking her jaws into the green female's head. 
“GODS DAMNIT!!” The half-orc screamed. Tav sunk her claws into her shoulders as she stood up on her hind legs and dug her teeth into the orc's skull.  Then with a harsh whip of her head Tav snapped her opponent’s neck. The druid then released the orc, letting her drop to the ground.
Tav dropped back down on all fours with a sigh, panting a little from the fight. She turned her head and yanked the blade from her back. Luckily in this form she wouldn't actually be harmed. But she was honestly feeling far too tired to stay in her wildshape now. Slowly she transformed back, taking a moment to regain her strength. 
“A-Astarion…I-I need to get back to Astarion…” Tav told herself. 
“I'm afraid you won't be seeing him again.” Araj suddenly stepped out from the shadows, blade in hand. “I am not leaving without your heart!” She hissed. 
“Oh for fucks sake! Don't you ever get tired of being a psycho!?” Tav hissed, she quickly reached for her weapon, but this time Araj was quicker.  She stabbed her blade into Tav's leg making her freeze. 
“What….W-What is this!?” Tav sputtered, suddenly feeling her limbs begin to tingle and go numb. She tried to move, but her body just felt so heavy. 
“A paralysis potion I've been keeping for a rainy day. I'd hoped I wouldn't have to use it. I have no idea what affects it will have on your heart unfortunately, but I can't let you get away.” Araj stopped as she watched Tav whimper and squirm on the ground. The silver haired female wiped her blade clean off the potion before she then undid the buttons on Tav's shirt, exposing her chest.
“Now I'll need a nice clean cut. I don't want to damage your heart too badly.” The drow licked her lips before dragging the tip of her blade over Tav’s chest. “Just close your eyes and it'll be all over…” Tears began to form in the corners of Tav’s eyes, heart pounding so hard she was sure it’d burst right out before that damn drow bitch would even have a chance to cut into it.
“Get away from my Tav.” Astarion suddenly growled out, appearing behind Araj who quickly turned and struck at him with her blade. 
“Not until I have her heart!” Araj hissed.
Astarion ducked out of the way, unsheathing his own blade and taking a swing at her.  His dagger barely nicked the side of her cheek as she dodged, drawing a few drops of blood.
“Gods below, it's even more foul smelling than before!” He made a gagging sound.
“Mock me all you like! It won't stop me!” Araj took another stab at Astarion aiming right for his throat, but he quickly grabbed her wrists and pushed her back towards the ground. Now that he was free of the tadpole his vampiric strength returned and it gave him an edge in battle.
“You know darling, I think I may have had a sudden change of heart. I may just bite you after all.” Astarion said, forcing a grin upon his face. 
“What-” Confusion flickered over her face for a split second, immediately being followed by Astarion sinking his fangs into her neck, but instead of drinking her blood, he tore her throat right out.  
Astarion immediately spat out any of her blood that had gotten into his mouth before watching her drop to the ground, a twisted smile plastered over her face. “I-Incredible….” She choked out before suddenly coughing up an alarming amount of blood. 
 He quickly disregarded her lifeless body and swiftly moved to Tav who was still paralyzed on the ground. 
“My love, are you alright?” Astarion knelt down and cradled her head with one hand.
“I-I can't m-move….S-She got me with a paralysis poison…” Tav croaked out.
“Hang in there lover.”Astarion frowned, looking down at Tav with worry. He immediately scooped her up bridal-style. “I'm going to take you to Dalyria. She should be able to cure this.” Astarion carried Tav back into the tavern. Several of the patrons were whispering to each other. Some seemed deathly afraid of Astarion and his love. The vampire spawn simply ignored them.
“I don't think we're going to be welcome here any longer, Star.” Tav said as Astarion set her down on a sofa near the tavern fireplace.  
“Forget them, darling. We're leaving anyway. Now sit tight while I grab our things.” Astarion said, kissing her forehead before quickly going upstairs to get their packs. Tav sat by the fire, she could see the barmaid Lyn giving her an awfully ugly look. 
Good gods, it's not our fault we were attacked.
Tav rolled her eyes. It didn't take long for Astarion to return with their things.  Tav weakly nuzzled her face into his neck as Astarion scooped her back up into his arms. Tav stared up at him with adoration as he carried her out. 
“You did it, you know.” She hummed.
“What are you on about?’ Astarion glanced down at her.
“You protected me!” Tav exclaimed with a weak smile, “and thank the gods you did. I was sure I was a goner.”
“You give me far too much credit, my love. I still allowed you to get injured. You did a much better job than I.” Astarion huffed. 
“You kidding? You just saved my life Astarion and this isn't even the first time.” Tav insisted. “Look, from now on no more arguing over who protects who. We protect each other and that's final.” 
“You're being awfully demanding of someone who can't even move her arms, my dear.” Astarion chuckled, “but I am grateful all the same.”
He planted another kiss upon Tav's forehead before continuing on to meet up with his sister and hopefully cure his beloved’s ailment.
The two set off, leaving the tavern to deal with three battered corpses and a mysterious trail of blood…
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Note from TheChaoticDruid: Phew! Finally got this thing out! Honestly despite finding her a very shitty person and absolutely despising how she treats Astarion I can't help but find Araj interesting. The whole thing with blood and heck the creepy shit you find in her basement makes me want to know more about her. Kinda went a little overboard with this in terms of violence I guess, but I kinda wish there were more bg3 fics with some action in them. Also, I may have kinda ignored how silver and vampires work in DnD, but BG3 plays fast and loose with lore so I guess I will too. Hope you like it!
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littlelightfish · 10 days
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Mr. & Mrs. Folke
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