currently reporting deliriously with pain meds and coffee (and procrastination)
but i had this image in my mind that si just annoying the fuck out of all slytherin cos he just keeps fucking with them and they * can't — not really* do anything to him, cause disgraced or not he's still the black heir and they have 4-5 blacks petty enough in their house that will fuck them up in ways that can't even tell how it happened.
sirus and mucilber ( or whatever that dude's name was just remember that's he's always the stupid one for any reason tho) get into a fight and mucilber does some stupid stuff and run his mouth
mucus foolishly - curses sirius with something dark and lethal
Sirius (obviously) - gets out of it and fucks up mucus with 15 creative curses.
james *sirius black 24/7 defence attorney* potter and bella *only i can try to murder sirius* black are now suddenly in cohoots like two kindergarten kids forced to be friends
cos muciber/mucus was stupid enough to whine in common room and James just has this 6th sense whenever sirus gets into a fight.
reg and cissa are researching poison for no reason at all
and Andy is just quietly looking at muggle ways to kill someone without trace cause she's progressive (and because it doesn't show on wand).
and just black family kiddies and James potter becoming unlikely friends cause of (1) sirius Orion black and that's just djfjbf
like this is obviously so crackish but imo, thai shows such a clear picture of world peace that it's just too funny to not use.
like use their power to full and all that yknow—
also snape in end just gives muciber a ticket to spain and be like - here's how you survive black family (not guaranteed)
i’m not saying i like that you’ve had to use pain meds and rely on coffee to get thru things but—
can i request these vibes in the inbox again? like, multiple times? because i am so into this.
for one, mucus is an absolutely fkn hysterical name. i just. Cannot take him seriously
and second. james & the blacks forming an unintentional alliance bc they’ve all started their own sirius black defence squad is so???? why can i literally picture it in my head 😭😭
(like i once talked about how james’ ability to inspire loyalty & devotion is so impressive he could probably be an accidental dark lord but this is just—another way to get to the same place and i love it)
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demon slayer hcs: douma & akaza as boyfriends
characters: fem!reader x douma, akaza
warnings: implied death, nsfw themes (no actual smut)
DOUMA
god he’s so fine for what
first off douma has trouble understanding human emotions
and dawg prefers to eat women
so the fact that y’all are dating??
ur special fr fr
you are so spoiled
douma = sugar daddy
u have one of his followers from his cult following u around and taking care of any and everything that u want
u mention seeing something in a store that u liked?
douma will have it before the end of the day
you’re like a little doll to him
he enjoys dressing you up in the cutest outfits, experimenting with different hairstyles, and playing with your makeup
teases the hell outta u
he thinks your reactions are amusing
especially when u do that cute little pout
or the puppy dog eyes
and don’t even get me started on when he makes u upset
he LOVES that shit
he always makes it up to you tho
but let a member of his cult tease you? or make u upset??
there will be hell to pay
he’ll take their head clean off their shoulders right then and there
won’t even bat an eye
so touchy
glued to u
ur sitting in his lap during cult meetings
he’s holding ur hand
he’s got an arm thrown around ur shoulders
he’s running his nails up and down ur arms so he can watch u shiver and get goosebumps
ur mad at him? maybe yelling at him abt something?
not anymore
he’s got his hands on ur face and he’s squishing ur cheeks so u can’t talk
thinks ur expressions are adorable
now douma sounds like a great boyfriend so far
but this man is MEAN
low key only keeps u around because u entertain him
i mean he’s been alive for so long and experienced so much
mans gets bored
BUT!!
if yalls relationship miraculously progresses past this
he’s turning u into a demon
that way u can stay with him forever
and he’ll never get bored of u
how could he when ur the first person to actually make him understand emotions?
especially an emotion as complex as love <3
but his true nature
comes out in the bedroom
dawg is EVIL
100% will make u cry
humiliation!!!
he’s a biter
ofc he is
idk somethin abt seeing his marks on you rly gets him goin
biting down just enough to leave a mark but not to break skin
yeah
id let him step on me
AKAZA
best boyfriend ever
no harm will ever come to u
protective asf
ur nocturnal at this point
bc ain’t no way ur leaving the house without akaza
so u gotta wait til it’s nighttime so he can come with u wherever ur going
such a gentleman ong
he’s holding ur hand to make sure u don’t get separated in crowds
or he has a hand on the small of ur back to guide u while u walk
he’s pulling ur chair out for u to sit down
he’s holding doors open for u
brings u flowers all the time
instead of looking for that blue spider lily for Muzan?
he’s picking u a bouquet of wildflowers
gonna get his ass kicked for that by muzan but oh well
100% the bf that’ll slow dance w u in the rain
with no music
ugh he’s such a romantic
god he loves u so much
and he makes sure u know it
words of affirmation!! all the time!!!
now
he’s a sweetie
but y’all ever heard that one phrase
and it’s like
gentleman in the streets freak in the sheets?
mhm that’s him
dude strong as fuck
and his STAMINA?
babe u are worn out
so many rounds
so many positions
u can’t keep up
ain’t no way i’m sorry
but the aftercare is on point
when he’s done puttin u through the ringer
he’s drawing u a bath
and making sure u drink some water cause u lost a fuck ton of bodily fluids i’m sorry
gross
cuddle bug!!
and the pillow talk!!
he’s the best
i love him sm
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