i owe you a black eye and two kisses (pt 6)
Am I Making You Feel Sick?
now on Ao3
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(part one) (part seven)
a special update loosely based on this song
taglist is open!
CW: heavy gore (kind of)
Steve collapsed onto the bed once he had finally dragged himself back into the trailer. Eddie was in the bathroom—doing god knows what, Wayne had said he had been in there for a while—and Steve was fucking exhausted.
He pressed his face into the pillow, sighing long and quiet, his hand gripping at the sheets so tight his knuckles turned white. He just wanted to sleep, but he didn’t want to deal with the nightmares.
He unbuttoned the flannel and slipped it off of his shoulders, folding it and placing it on the nightstand, on top of the pile of D&D books Eddie had. That was the game that the kids liked, right? With the knights and shit? He toed off his shoes—and felt a bit bad for not taking them off at the door—and set them down at the edge of the bed.
Through the half-closed door, he could hear another door click as it opened, and Eddie shuffled in, his nose and cheeks flushed and the rim of his eyes wet and red. He had been crying more, Steve thought. Still, despite his disheveled and broken state, Eddie’s chin was held high, glaring at Steve.
Steve sighed, feeling frustration build up in his gut, twisting and clawing until he was all bloody and gross inside. What was this guys fucking problem? One minute he was angry, the next he was practically melting into Steve’s arm and leaning into his cupped hands like he never wanted Steve to stop touching him, and then he was back to angry and spiteful again. “Can I help you?”
“This is my fucking room—,” Eddie started, but then cut himself off by holding up his hand and sucking in a deep, shaking breath. “No. Sorry.” He bit out the words like they stung, grappling to hold onto his tear-stained tongue on the way out.
Steve sat up a bit more on elbows. He was aware this this was Eddie’s room—Eddie’s space, and that Eddie was allowed to come and go as he liked—but it was amusing to him to watch Eddie try and be polite. Steve did feel bad for Eddie—immensely—and he knew that Eddie didn’t want him to be here, but it didn’t matter. He wasn’t here for Eddie, right now, he was here because Wayne had asked him to stay over.
Eddie sighed, muttering something that Steve couldn’t quite catch as he crossed his arms over his chest and tugged a piece of hair over his lips, which obscured his words further.
“What was that?”
“I—,” Eddie’s face flushed and his eyes were glassy again as he choked out a quiet, “If it’s okay with you, could I sleep in here?”
Steve’s expression softened, and he felt bad for being pissy before, even if he had the right to feel annoyed at Eddie. “Of course. I mean—it’s your room, you don’t have to ask me.”
“Wayne told me not to bother you,” Eddie explained quietly, a few tears sliding down his cheeks. His eyes kept darting down to Steve’s chest, and Steve wanted to put the flannel back on, but he didn’t. “I thought—I thought that if it was fine with you he wouldn’t tell me off for it.”
Steve moved back in the bed. He didn’t know how they were both going to fit. And he was seriously contemplating going and sleeping on the couch and giving Eddie his space, but his back had ached the last time, and he didn’t want to get on Wayne’s bad side.
Eddie looked Steve over one last time, his eyes dipping to Steve’s shorts as his tongue came out to lick his lips briefly before his cheeks went even more red and he slipped off his jeans.
Steve forced himself to look away so that he didn’t stare, even though he wanted to.
Eddie climbed in next to him, laying down next to Steve. They could only both fit on the bed if Eddie was right up next to him, his nose nearly touching Steve’s own. Steve’s eyes flicked down to Eddie’s lips, and fuck, he shouldn’t be thinking the thoughts he was thinking right now.
He cleared his throat and moved to turn the other way, but Eddie’s hand moved forward and grabbed at his arm, squeezing tightly.
Steve didn’t ask why even though he wanted to. Eddie’s fingers were cold against Steve’s skin, sending goosebumps down his arm and neck—ones that he was sure Eddie could feel.
He felt Eddie’s thumb shift slightly against his arm, rubbing at the skin there for a moment as he sucked in another shaky breath, before he pulled his hand back against his chest, cradling it in his other hand like it had been burned. His fingers twitched.
Steve hesitated, fighting everything in him to not reach out and wipe away Eddie’s tears, since he was finally getting to see the soft spots of him, and he didn’t want to ruin that by fucking up again. He gave Eddie one last look and turned around, his leg bushing up against Eddie’s. Steve turned his head to press it into the pillow, closing his eyes and sighing.
Fuck.
He was back in the room again. There was a door on the wall across from him, but he stayed curled where he was in the corner. He knew what would happen if he went through. It was the same thing that happened every time the door appeared.
He felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up, and he turned his head, seeing the melted flesh and bones in the corner rise and move closer, a long, shaking hand sliding across the floor towards his foot.
He stood up slowly, stumbling on his numb legs towards the dripping-red door. It used to be white, but that was before his skin got pale and he felt tired all the time. The hand poked against the back of his leg as he grabbed the handle and turned, opening it and slipping through the small crack between the wall. Immediately after stepping through, he felt the pain shoot through him, crumpling to the floor as a cry ripped out of his throat, feeling the skin of his legs curl apart and melt into the same black color of the void-like-floor that he was laying on.
“Stop,” he begged, words caught around a sob as he tried to get up, but only falling again, his head smashing into the ground.
“Please, stop, I’m sorry,” he sobbed, desperate and gasping as he clawed the hand off of him once its tendrils got a hold on his waist. He was going to die again, wasn’t he?
Steve woke up sobbing before he could even get a proper breath in, choking on nothing and bending over, trying to get the hand off of his waist, but it held tight—finger digging in enough to hurt anymore.
It pulled him to sit up, and he sobbed again, gasping, his eyes squeezed shut. There was another hand on his cheek, and he kept his eyes closed, because he couldn’t watch this happen again. He couldn’t watch himself fall apart like that again.
“Hey, hey, Stevie,” a voice said gently, a finger rubbing across his cheek, and Steve startled, flinching back, his eyes opening finally. Everything was blurry, and the hand on his waist tugged him back closer, before moving to cup his other cheek.
These fingers were soft. Cold. Not wet and gross-flesh.
“Just breathe, sweetheart, it’s okay,” the voice said, and Steve’s eyes focused, Eddie. Fuck, he didn’t want Eddie to see him like this. “I’ve got you, it’s okay.”
Steve tried to force air into his burning lungs, but it felt like he was inhaling water, cold and slow and chilling him down to his roots. He wanted to beg for Eddie to just end this and let him melt into the ground—but they weren’t on the ground anymore. They were on something soft. The air around him smelled like smoke and lavender and vanilla. It smelled like Eddie.
“You know where you are?” Eddie questioned gently, moving Steve’s head back to look at him again when he tried to turn away.
“Starcourt?” Steve choked out.
Eddie shook his head. “You’re at my house, Stevie. Remember? I brought you home?”
And Steve did remember, now, his body relaxing. He liked how Eddie said that. Like he brought him home after hanging out. After smoking together. After a date. Anything other than what they had been doing—Steve crying and Eddie just being polite to the broken, unraveling man that Steve was becoming.
Steve nodded, pressing his face into Eddie’s palm.
“There you go, good boy,” Eddie whispered, his thumb rubbing across Steve’s jawline, just below where it met his ear as his hand moved down to cup Steve’s neck. Steve almost whimpered in that, in his delirious and half-asleep state but he didn’t.
Eddie tugged Steve closer to him and moved him to lay back down, his face pressed into Eddie’s chest. The tips of his socked feet were sticking off the edge of the bed, now. Steve curled his knees in, one of them shifting between Eddie’s legs, his eyes closing again.
Somewhere close, he heard Eddie’s breath hitch, a warm breath of air brushing atop his scalp—lips pressed so close to his scalp—and he felt Eddie’s legs shift, an arm draped over Steve’s side, the other hooked underneath him.
“Just go to sleep, okay? It’s okay,” Eddie whispered, and if Steve had been more awake, he would have properly felt the kiss Eddie pressed to the top of his head—but instead, it was just a ghost of a thing, far away and distant.
Steve felt warm, oddly enough, against the cold body against him as he drifted back into sleep.
Heheheh two updates in one day??? UNHEARD OF. (There will still probably be one tomorrow, I was just too excited about this one to wait!!!)
taglist, which is open!:
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