#right when my class starts

[heartorbit]

HAPPY NEWONDERHOY YEAR 🍡

#its still jan 1st somewhere . right #HAPPY NEW YEAR. HAPPY NEW YURI #project sekai #pjsk #an shiraishi #prsk #tsukasa tenma #proseka #Hatsune amiky acolorful Stage[FOGHORN] #inknow i csnt write kanji OK stroke order has me fucked up #redraw of last years to thank them both for arriving with 30k gems to spare vut i [cough] i [wheeze] #i kind of think last years was. more slayful...[throws a smokebomb and when it clears im laying unconscious on the ground] #OK last year i remember literally drawing that for like 13 hours snd the anstomy isnt goo so whatevvrr #my life is so jover january 10th btw EMU. {EMU. EMU. EMU #WAAAAH #college starts that week but heh.. luckily my class ends before the event. here we go again #and then nenesnlim and the ruis lim and then (redacted) right after and then peace. and then CORALINTHHEBIX AND WEDDIGN EMU ANDPANDMONIUM A #and i have miku expo and a convention in may.. ehhhahe #im finish um one cosplay hopefilyl for cny but thenother ummm stipid fuckifng tdukasa maybe ill finish it for showtime event mahbe not #i hate her. to the shredder #EMU. oooh emu. Ok sorry goodnight

[no-light-left-on]

considering the historical influences in the fashion of Dishonored (and the extent of nsfw fanfiction this fandom has) I’ve been thinking about the layers that would be, realistically, part of the daily dress

which means: dishonored seems to honour the importance of a vest in a properly dressed gentleman’s or lady’s wardrobe

vests were, and I cannot stress this enough, a mandatory part of an outfit, to the point of men wearing only vests if they could not afford a fully tailored suit (trousers + vest + jacket) and a new shirt and opting to only wear a fake collar under the vest for the illusion of a full outfit

shirts were underwear, so to speak. there were no occasions in ‘polite society‘ where one could only wear a shirt without a vest on top.

this is something we see mirrored in both dishonored games, though the style of the vests and clothing have somewhat changed, they still follow the same rules of vests worn with every outfit, as far as we can tell. (we could argue that Jessamine is not wearing one, or that some higher class women aren’t wearing vests under their buttoned up jackets, but since we don’t really see underneath we can’t judge.)

we see the vests be worn even by the Whalers in the first game (which in itself brings up many questions. are whalers, the actual whalers that capture and kill whales, held in high enough regard by the society that they made a vest part of their uniform? or is it merely something that is worn by all? something that every citizen of sound mind would don, were they to leave their house?)

there are a few exceptions to this, of course, but this whole thing came to be by asking a simple question

does the Outsider wear a vest under his leather jacket?

now, in the first game, his jacket is unbuttoned just enough for us to get a good enough peek at what lies beneath. which is to say: there is no hint of a vest underneath. judging by the vests in the first game, the fashion was that the vest would go up high, often covering collarbones or even having a standing collar. what we see on the Outsider is just... an unbuttoned shirt

it’s much the same in the second game, even if we examine his final concept art, his outfit consists of a shirt (more or less underwear) with most of the top buttons unbuttoned, and a jacket on top. no hint of a vest underneath

what I’m trying to say is that the Outsider is a slut

#dh #dishonored #the outsider #I got hyperfixated on fashion of the belle epoque (the inspiration for dh fashion) so most of this information in regards to history #should be accurate #mind you the books I read had a heavy focus on habsburg monarchy fashion so it might be slightly different to say the US or france etc etc #but that should be right #if anyone has stuff from the games to disprove the vest in higher classes statement bring it on #I doubt the artists would do such a great transgression against polite manners though /j #but yeah tl;dr the outsider wears the equivalent of a blazer on top of a bra #I have so many thoughts and feelings about the fashion in these games I could go on for Ages #this all started when I was thinking about human outsider being taken in by corvo and emily and as he takes his clothes off for a bath #a maid is absolutely scandalized by his lack of a vest underneath #I do want to acknowledge that there is concept art of outsider in dh2 that DOES have a vest under the jacket but that one went unused #the pattern on it kinda reminds me of the pattern on corvo's and emily's clothing tho that might be a reach. or just a pattern thats popular #i firmly stand by my headcanon that the outsider tries to imitate the fashion of the real world in the void with a bit of his own Void spin

[yache-berries]

*sends them off to Unova for their umpteenth honeymoon in my school's clubhouse room*

#best $35 i've spent in my life hands down #the sheer joy i felt when i read the words 'my dear hass'........ it's like an ice cold bottle of dr pepper for me #also i can't get over the fact that brassius says that hassel was 'born to be a teacher' #when you KNOW brassius knows how long hassel's family has been trying to convince hassel what they think he was 'born' to do #it just makes the way they positively changed one another's lives all the more apparent and aGgGGGgHgGh iT GETS TO ME #i mean we already knew they loved each other deeply bUT NOW WE GET TO SEE EVEN MORE #don't get me started on the fact that they talk about the other in their optional dialogue.... #brassius talking about how lucky you are to take hassel's classes and hassel talking about seeing brassius on the billboards in levincia... #aGGHGhgh POKÉMON WROTE SOME GOOD GAYS RIGHT HERE #also. love my new little dragon friend hydrapple. of course........ i will share yache berries with the apple dragon. #okay gotta do some bbqs to unlock them again since i reset the game to screenrecord all of their dialogue 😔🙏 #pokemon #pokemon scarlet and violet #brassius #hassel #ephemeralartshipping #hassius #pokemon brassius #pokemon hassel #hydrapple #flygon used sketch

[cerealmonster15]

heartslabyul is in shambles. if u even care.

#twisted wonderland #cater diamond #trey clover #ace trappola #treycay #i guess LOL #twst #cereal tries to draw #sorry i forgot what outfits they were wearing and then i already started and didnt wanna change it LOL #i opened my game and saw a fight #and when the smoke cleared and i saw who was fighting i GASPED #not my boys. NO!!!! #i put juice in there right after #almost the whole family together #riddle was in class i guess idk dont worry about it <3 #heartslabyul my beloved i love u with all my heart #if that. if it wasnt apparent from my guest room decor LOL SJKLFD #shameless bias for my sons

[thatonegayship]

I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 🥺 your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food

INCREDIBLE!!!!!

#billdip #I honestly loved this story start to finish with the ambience and quick pace #hadn't considered the possibility of Bill and Dipper actually working *together* but it's always a good time when they do ❤️ #sorry it took so long to reblog 🥲 #I read it like- Right when you posted. But I had to catch a plane and then drive an extra hour home and immediately get on zoom for class #and today i was just all around exhausted so i slept roughly 70% of the entire day dndsjdndnd #all that to say that I had your fic in the back of my mind and I very much wanted to set some time aside and re-read it when I got the chan #honestly with how well you set things up I would've loved to see your own rendition of their first kiss #You established their relationship really well at the start and brought them together by the end after outsmsrtong those bandits #it feels like you have a better understanding of who they are to each other than even i do 😌 very much a fan #i love when stories incorporate those sort of 'habits' that the love interests fall into #that confuses character A while character B is so clearly using it as an excuse to get close and spend more time with them #i squealed like a maniac when Bill was like oooph lemme walk you home 😏🤠 #sir i am going to wrangle you up if you don't compose yourself #and Dipper's just wary of him because people as handsome as bill used to pick on him 😢 #little does he know he's grown into a 10/10 cutie patootie that any cowboy would be stupid NOT to smooch #I'm a simple man. I read oblivious low-confidence cowboy being pursued by a hottie on a horse. I lose my shit #Awesome wonderful writing!!! so happy to have caught your eye and i hope to continue pumping out content for this wonderfully weird ship

[pettyprocrastination]

roller derby!abby seeing reader for the first time? ❤️‍🩹🫂😔❤️‍🩹

I can't decide if I want it to be a reader who is already doing derby or maybe a newbie reader so I'll do both lol

Newbie Skater

The first time Abby sees you is at a scrimmage. You aren't playing- your'e just a spectator. Another face in the crowd but one she hasn't seen before. You aren't wearing their team shirt or colors- but she sees the way your eyes light up as the bout begins and by half time your shouting encouragements in their favor. There's a moment of brevity, when the jam is over and she's leaving the track when she looks up and meets your eyes before you look away with a bashful smile in favor of whispering something in your friend's ear- she doesn't let herself get distracted but maybe she shows off a little bit. A show of strength and brutality for the pretty little thing in the stands watching her with bated breath- it may cost her a penalty or two but it's worth it when she sees you at concessions after the bout is over and you compliment her skill.

When she sees you at the first Incoming Skater Lesson run by the local league the week after her scrimmage, there's a pride thrumming in her chest because now she gets the one to comment on your form and teach you how to do crossovers, she just has to make sure not to say anything stupid when you reach out and grab her for stability each time you feel wobbly on your skates.

Veteran Skater

The first time she sees you is at a scrimmage your both competing in. There's always a kindness between the two teams, many are old friends who have played together years before or those who connect in mutual Facebook groups for their shared love of the same sport, something that overrides the aggressive thrumming in each player's veins they moment they step off the track and congratulate the same people that just minutes before they were trying to destroy.

When she first sees you on the track behind her, the opposing jammer eyeing the outside lane she simply sinks down into her heels and tells her team to hold you.

If only it was that easy.

You're fast. The type of fast that has her shouting to her teammates that you're going to take the inside but then you twist and dance along the out, taking long gazelle like steps on your toe-stops past her in a gust of wind that makes her blood boil each time you do. Abby hits you hard, sending your body crashing to the outside of the track before you pop back up and approach again with the same speed, the same intensity and the same passion that has her digging against the slick floors of the court they play on to keep you in place but you just keep fucking going. By the final whistle she's earned enough penalties trying to keep you from scoring points than her bench coach would like- but they win nontheless. There's that little part of her- the smug jackass that lives in her heart from years of not "being enough" that wants her to rub it in your face but before she gets the chance you take out your mouth-guard and offer her a dazzling smile with a breathless "good job" before you head to the locker room.

It's two hours later that she sees you again. After sharing sweaty but albiet love-filled hugs with friends who came to watch her play that somebody from your team taps her on the shoulder and tells her of an after party at a local bar. Part of her wants to decline. She drove by herself and is far too tired to endure any conversation deeper than "good job" and wants nothing more than to take a steaming hot shower and get some rest but finds herself going nonetheless- she tells herself it has nothing to do with their annoying little jammer who had the audacity to smile at her in the parking lot but Manny thought otherwise.

When Abby walks in she's greeted with the husky lure of Fleetwood Mac and the smell of greasy burgers. She barely gets to the bar before she sees you- now dressed tight top and a skirt that reaches down to your ankles, flaring out each time you turn like a character in a fairytale gesturing wildly while talking to your teammates. You look up, meeting her eyes and a wide grin grows over your face.

"You!"

Crossing the room in quick strides you raise your hand for a high-five, one she cautiously returns and tries not to think about just how tiny your hands are in comparison to hers.

"You hit like a motherfucker."

It's a compliment. Praise that makes her breath stutter and her voice shake when she says thank you. But then you make it worse because you're pretty. Even with your hair still a mess from wearing a helmet and your voice cracked from shouting all day you have the audacity to look cute when you should be frustrating her just as you did before. But you smile and talk about gameplay while praising her strength as a blocker on the track.

She knows she's in trouble because her heart is beating like she just ran a 4k and then you have the gall to lift up that skirt high on your thigh to show-off an already blackening bruise that you claim she gave to you and Abby realizes this Jammer isn't going to be leaving her mind anytime soon.

#also i should say: when somebody hits you hard enough to leave a bruise we call it a 'derby kiss' which is just. perfpect potential right #anyways im not gonna shut up about this anytime soon #abby anderson x you #abby anderson x reader #derby!abby #sorry these suck I had to word vomit them before my night class starts

[wikoymi]

10 october 2023

#nagito komaeda #sdr2 #danganronpa #danganronpa fanart #fanart #art #finished #wikoart #hehhssooso siislsksyysy sjushheusytsyaiislksys oitlrl eguey #i love silly gusy #hes so silly #di dyiu gusy kniw #i live silly guys #oh myd gdod #sorry kamiiro awase played on shuffle today when i was in class and i just started feelsick right afater oh my god #:333333:3:::3::333333:3333:33333

[kashmirichaiwithmehr]

.

#guys (neutral) i have made a mistake #theres a guy in my classes whos also pakistani (but like FROM pakistan) and from generally the same areas as my family i guess #and we're the only two in the class (for context the other desis who make up the majority of the class are all indian international student #and i know that im a friendly person #but i fear that i made a connection with this guy too quick #and have given him the wrong idea #idk if hes just attached to me bc im the only other pakistani or that AND bc ive accidentally led him on or smthg without even realising #like he will hover near me and will only leave when i leave (and its gotten so bad over like 3 days that my other classmate noticed -> #and was like ... girl yk hes attached himself to u right #asdhjkasldadhajkldadhajsd #anyways thats besides the point #hes rly nice so i feel bad asdkjlasd;adjkl;adadjksd (and he doesnt rly have any friends here besides family and classmates so im giving -> #him the benefit of the doubt #and yall today was the only day i left class and he wasnt right beside me bc i think he left to do smthg #and i went to help anther girl get to her car #and i guess because he couldnt say bye to me (esp since its the weekend now) he started DMing me on instagram #there are more details but i will spare yall for now bc the ig messagse are whats makign me more worried <3333 #anyways gn #mehrtalks

[itspileofgoodthings]

I was teaching Ophelia’s death scene this week and one of my classes spontaneously giggled when she died (because they are 16 years old and emotionally immature) and I said, in a shocked voice, “it is NOT funny” and they all insisted that it was and so I let it go but then the next day I showed them some Ophelia art, made them think about how sinister it was that her death happens offstage but is still described in such detail for the viewer, which tells us she was WATCHED but not HELPED as she died, and then played a clip from Branagh’s Hamlet of Kate Winslet singing a mourning song for her father and when I tell you how satisfying it was to hear a total and complete hush fall over the room

#teaching tag #Obviously I cannot control their emotions and I don’t try to. but I love to lay all the right groundwork for them to be moved #even if they don’t understand or forget it a second later #I can do that!!! let them have their moment of silly little reaction and then clear it away and make them look at the moment again #giving them all the context and support they need and don’t have on their own #and I have no idea if it works on a personal or individual level because it depends on what they let into their little hearts #but as a class i KNOW that it works. because of that signature hush #the same thing happened when I read the proposal scene from David Copperfield out loud #it’s happened with the end of the inferno. P&P Pemberley scene. teaching twelfth night #it’s my favorite thing to do in the entire world #to just sweep everything away and then re-build how to look at a scene #and the thing I LOVE about teaching high schoolers is that there’s the immaturity and the boredom etc. etc. #But underneath that there is a great stupidity ready to be taught #that is so much better than pretentious college age kids or hardened adults who already ‘know’ what it’s about #they have that grain of stupidity (more than a grain lol) that o’Connor talks about #that is the secret to letting things in #and I’m so passionate about showing them and I’m just getting better at clearing the ground and knowing what tools to show them when #and also —-this is A new thing I’m learning —-how to hold back my own emotions or reactions so as not to cloud it #whenever I start talking very matter-of-factly and very quickly and almost dispassionately about the structure of a moment #that’s so much better than me having the emotion because it gives THEM room to have the emotion #and that’s simply how they’re hooked #ANYWAY. as I said lots of thoughts thanks for listening wldkdkejejjejejejehe

[aofikofi]

i miss the life series So Bad

#ao text #currently. listening to animatic songs and genuinely tearing up in my bed help me #ITS 1 AM DJFJDJD #i miss them so much #i miss 3L and LL era already #its been whole year whaaat ........ #maybe i just miss 2021 idk #but i Do also miss waking up and seeing 4 pov uploads of LL #i watched gri scar mumb and lizzies povs for LL #idk idk idk im sleepy #mmmm the end of 2021 ... when i first joined this fandom #the era of online classes #ough me binging grians s7 and s6 in classes #both took me like a month each #can you believe i finished s6 less than a month before my finals #on the topic of my 'start' in this fandom #it was thru tumblr lmao #so how it started right #i was already a casual watcher of lizzies esmp1 series #since ep 1 #which was june / july i think i cant remember #for hc i only started it at like ep 6 or smth bc i got distracted while watching the 1st one and never finished it until then #OH BUT i was alr an enjoyer of grian right . (hes like the only other eng mcyt i watched as a kid) #and recently just started watching him again #I ACTUALLY SAW THE PREMIER OF 3L EP 1 #but . just like hc . i got distracted . BUTTT when LL fimally came out i saw that lizzie was in it so i was like ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ILL WATCH #and i went and watched 3L first And then kept up with LL and i rewatched 3L bc i was bored and on that rewatch i Fell In Love #so i was like Oh i wonder if theres a fandom for this . i looked on google (yes) . and saw fanarts all linking to tumblr #AND THAT LEAD ME TO THE BRAINROT RABBITHOLE so deep on character analyzing sides of trafficblr etc got invested in scarian immediately LMAO #but Yeah thats the full origins story ... i miss that time of my life so much aw :")) maybe its the fewmonthslefttocollege brain going mush

[z-1-wolfe]

Whooooo whoosh whoosh buff water lady~~

#tlok #tlok fanart #korra #tne legend of korra #the difference in post descriptions of my Insta and tumblr is insane lmaooooo #also tfw you set up a post to publish and there’s like 3 mistakes you see right away but you’re too lazy to fix it #neways I drew this out of pure spite when a kid in my art class started bashing korra #LMAOOOOO LIKE WALKING RED FLAG MAN DIDNT LIKE SAKURA EITHER #something something stronk woman intimidation #zenta draws

[detransraichu]

damn son I'm literally a transandrophobia poster and I routinely rail against TIRFism and even I think your takes are wack. "AMAB privilege" GTFO with that man. we can lift up transmasc voices and promote trans unity and talk about radfem ingression into trans spaces without making this another AMAB/AFAB oppression olympics thing - that was the whole problem, we should be doing the opposite. stop taking words like TIRF and pretending to be against radfems when you're eating their talking points for breakfast

tirf means trans inclusive radfem, so tirfs actually are radfems! i am one myself. terfs aren't actually a thing - there are definitely transphobic radfems, but radfeminism includes ALL afab people, transmascs included. i'm still veryyy critical of how many handle trans issues. i reblog as much material as i can for my book, which very often includes not-so-kind terms/phrasing, but i do try to use language as respectful as i can in my own posts so i can have actual conversations with trans folks and trans activists, including saying amab/afab and agab instead of male/female.

i do believe that transfem people face unique oppression on the complicated axis of what ppl call transmisogyny. which imo is mostly a mix of sexism and homophobia if someone knows that person's sex/agab, mixed with conditional misogyny if they pass and live their life as afab. if they're outed as amab, they're seen as a gnc man again and with all the violent sexism that comes with that. it's a very complex form of oppression. i know they go through a lot of unique trauma, i'm not denying it.

but i also believe that afab people are uniquely oppressed as well.

if not, then what do you call this if not unique oppression? forced impregnation, abortion/pregnancy issues, period tax, lack of menstruation/uterus research & resources, afab bodies being under-represented in medicine which causes horrific things to happen, afab babies being aborted or killed at birth for being born with a vagina (afab) bc they're seen as lesser, afab upbringing coming with very unique experiences that amab ppl for better or worse will never understand (it is NOT a fucking privilege fuck you), being born with a body type that is very obviously vulnerable against people with penises sexually due to people with bio dicks feeling genital pleasure when they stick it in something, and god knows they will not give a shit about the person below them (look at fucking nature documentaries!!!). they will take off the condom. they will pressure ppl to do anal or give painful blowjobs. they will be creeps or jerks about pregnancy. they will generally put penises above vaginas and amab rights over afab rights, and this shit is DEEPLY ingrained in society. transfems being able to transition is very new, meaning that although they had many struggles before, they were not treated as female and had that (perhaps painful) privilege for MOST of human history. this meant being allowed to open a bank, go places without a husband, not being forced to be impregnated like cattle, not being forced to be a mother stuck in a kitchen, and having SOOO much more generational wealth at their disposal. afab ppl reading abt historical afab oppression is upsetting in a way that transfems will never fully be able to relate to. afab people have a deep, rich, unique culture and faced trauma for thousands of years and us being afab is not a privilege!! we have the privilege of not understanding transfem issues, sure, like a woman not being a lesbian won't face lesbophobia. but then again male-attracted women face violence from men in a unique way!! it's complex af when you're already marginalized

most ppl have an agab-based sexuality too, cis men included, meaning afab ppl are the ONLY *INTENDED* target of cis men's lust and sexual violence and whatever misogynistic bs they say about women, since most cis men are heterosexual. amab ppl face it, and it fucking sucks for them too, but they also only face it conditionally - the very second the cis guy realizes the person is amab, the usual trope is them throwing up thinking back on how they kissed and wanting to punch the "crossdressing pervert" EVEN if the transfem had every surgery possible and looked totally afab. they lose attraction, usually anyway, and physical violence linked to homophobia and gncphobia is the danger transfems then risk. which ofc is absolutely horrible, it can be life-ruining. but not an afabmisogyny experience. they aren't unconditionally sexualized. they are mistaken for afab due to all the surgeries and hormones they took. it's misdirected afabmisogyny due to ppl assuming they were born with a vagina and went thru afab puberty. and then harming them bc they see afab ppl as sex objects and dumb bitches, they see us being born and raised afab as a weakness. they hate us and want us for our sex/agab. most misogyny is about specifically afab people! and yes transmisogyny sucks, it should be called out too for sure. but when fem transmascs pass as transfem post-transition they always are open about experiencing misdirected transmisogyny and talking abt transfem rights etc etc. why can't transfems do the same with cis women and transmascs?? why can't they talk abt how transmisogyny & misogyny against cis women are both bad in different ways? it's always them being victims vs those evil privileged bitches!!

and not just quickly mention it but ACTUALLY speak up about it, uplift afab voices, and be genuinely good afab allies? where are the posts from transfems calling out transfems' afabmisogyny? why can't transmascs or cis women write posts abt it without being met by death threats and terf accusations? i know you think you can only further transandrophobia discussions by tiptoing around the existence of afab-exclusive misogyny. i know talking abt transmasc-unique issues already leads to insane amounts of bullying from afab & transfem folks. but i'm tired of transfems getting away with shitty behavior. i'm tired of cis women being only seen as oppressors against transfems. something needs to change. i truly believe that radfeminism isn't a lost cause, and in fact there are more and more transmasc radfems, and even transfems who are strong radfem allies. people are finally waking up to the realities of afab oppression!! they're finally embracing nuance!

misogynistic behavior from transfems gets brushed under the rug and them being amab is seen as completely irrelevant, anyone bringing it up is a bigot, while afab folks are more than open to their agab being a factor in conflict... it's unfair. as you've shown, transfems and the ppl speaking for them refuse to have nuanced talks abt afab oppression, they view it as "omg we're all oppressed!! shut the fuck up theyfab go bootlick those privileged cis cunts! no one wants to hear about your issues for longer than a minute, only listen to MINE!! being afab is a PRIVILEGE i didn't get to grow up afab stop rubbing it in my face!!!" what sucks is that transfems and transfem allies used to be soooo much more respectful of cis women and transmasc people's rights too. literally NO ONE used to say that being afab genuinely meant you got benefits in society. no one. like holy fucking shit. the past 20 years has been a fever dream!!!

i'm 100% for transfems living their best lives, transition included, and i've heard many horror stories of transfem-specific experiences i'll never truly understand. but it's not a strict oppressor/oppressed dynamic all the time. just because you're not oppressed on every axis of oppression ever doesn't mean you have no struggles. it's fucking insane that i keep needing to explain that to people, like oh my god do y'all not understand that someone can be both privileged and disprivileged in society in different ways, and might need to both have their voices boosted sometimes and ALSO need to take a back seat other times??? this ain't us cis radfems OR transandrophobia activists just playing oppression olympics. this is an oppressed group talking abt their unique struggles and being mocked to hell and back. and it's sad that it's seen as catty and selfish and bitchy. but as an afab woman i'm not surprised lmao.

and yeah you might speak on transmasc issues, but do you speak on afab rights? do you call out misogynistic bullshit that transfems say about cis women too? do you speak on cis women's oppression as well, about how they're oppressed by amab people too and are oppressed in a different way than transmasc or transfem folks, for being afab and ALSO identifying as women? do you mention how afab people are a uniquely oppressed class of people, or are you too scared of stepping on transfem toes bc they're seen as the top of the oppression pyramid and will harass you off the site?? why is saying that amab people as a class have privilege over afab folks on an oppression axis controversial? what about that feels like an attack?

if you're transfem or otherwise are amab and live perceived as afab, and you aren't afraid to recognize that afab oppression is its own thing and deserves its own voice and its own movement, ily bestie. i see you. i see more and more of you lately and it warms my heart. we aren't enemies, we can learn from eachother. thank you for working thru that initial knee-jerk reaction and learning to be a good ally to afab folks. i wish you the best <3 and if you're transmasc you DESERVE to have your voice heard too. you deserve to speak on afab rights and for transfems to want to be good allies to you too!! ALL afab people have unique voices that need to be heard for once!

#asks #this was long af sorry i went off lol #i understand your pov anon bc i had it even just a few years ago i was overprotective of transfems #i acted like afab ppl had talked enough and should stfu like they were the lowest bar of oppressed in society #that transfems had it worse by default and any talk of afab rights would make them dysphoric esp if transfems weren't centered #but EVEN THEN even when transfems are mentioned in afab-specific issues they STILL get mad #it isn't an amab/afab oppression olympics thing #and it's so childish of you to draw that conclusion #but it makes sense bc it's the current sentiment in trans spaces. any talk of afab-only issues makes ppl uncomfortable #any talk of transfems not only being the oppressed but also the oppressor class on a different axis makes ppl foam at the mouth #meanwhile afab ppl in general are more than happy to recognize they're privileged on another axis of oppression generally #why is that? #i'm tempted to say amab upbringing (and afab upbringing making ppl want to shield others at all costs esp amab ppl) #but i know now that i said it ppl will be even MORE pissed off #idk. i'm so glad i started recognizing my own afab oppression as mattering too. that thing where women are seen as talking so much more #than men even though if they talked the same amount? yeah. that still impacts things like this lol. identity doesn't change that #idk. respect one another and give equal space to all marginalized folks. simple easy and free!! and yet!!! #lay text #my words #radblr

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

#the first thing i do when i become conscious is check my phone to make sure nothing terrible happened to anyone i love while i slept #i never ever ever have plans and if anyone Else has plans i feel sick with anxiety until they’re back from them #if i have smth planned that week i feel completely tense and on edge until it happens #i didn’t used to be like this i hate hate hate it #i used to feel safe in my little house in the forest where i knew everyone in town and knew my way around with my eyes shut #it’s still the only place in the world i feel safe. that’s so unfair #my separation anxiety is ridiculous. if my mom goes to the store and doesn’t answer a text right away i start panicking #if my sister goes to a class or smth idk what to do with myself until she gets back #if i’m in the shower or have the fan on or headphones in suddenly i’ll think i hear someone shouting and i’ll have to quickly turn it off #ever since i moved here it’s been getting worse. i don’t feel safe here to begin with i feel so out of place it’s unreal #but then covid and trauma with my mother’s health and my uncle dying and multiple relatives getting sick and things happening to my friends #i know i have ptsd from very specific things that happened and i live on a hospital path so every day i hear sirens #and every time i do it fully triggers an anxiety attack in me for at least an hour. and my mom too #since being here my hometown burned and friends i thought would never grow apart did and my brother moved out #i know a lot of that is just Being In Your Low Twenties but also some of my worst trauma has happened in the last handful of years and now #now i’m just always scared. always uneasy. always worried. never fully relaxed. never feel fully safe. & idk how to be myself through that #i’m always paranoid and i never trust people irl anymore. ppl my mom or sister meet. i am so suspicious of them constantly. #if anything small changes at all i can’t handle it. my ability to deal with change has gone so downhill #in the last 5 years of being here i realised i was autistic which led to me unmasking a bit and that. comes with pros & cons doesn’t it #my own health has declined. my body changed a lot in ways i wasn’t prepared for and i had to get rid of most of my comfort clothes #sometimes i just wanna sit on the ground and cry about it and not have to also be the one that picks myself back up. y’know??? #but at the very least i’d love to just wake up One Day w/o feeling sick with anxiety already. just one day i want to wake up feeling rested #i want to be myself again but can i start with not being scared? not being tired? i don’t know what to do anymore #i just watch my comfort videos and read my comfort fics and stay in my daydream world

[anotherpapercut]

CORRECT THANK YOU FOR SHARING

#submission #I actually have seen this meme because someone sent it to my supervisor at some point and she showed it to all of us ajdbkajs #working with a bunch of gay autistic math nerds fucking rules lmfao y'all have no idea #one of my bosses is super into sci fi and is also a math teacher and puts star trek and firefly and buffy and hitchhikers guide etc etc #references in EVERYTHING he makes. I took a math class from him once and all of the test questions were about some fuckin show #whenever he runs meetings he asks us questions based on star trek usually. recently in a meeting he asked us to choose the best captain #I'm one of only like 3 people who watches all of this shit so I looove going to meetings when he runs them #bc he'll ask some fuckin question like who's the best star trek captain. and the 3 of us who knows what's going on will just start arguing #while everyone else looks around like what the fuck is going on right now (this one always gets the newbies) #my ALL TIME favorite Jake moment tho was when I was there one night and there were no students so we were all just hanging out #and Jake walks out of his office and he looks kind of annoyed. and he's a big dude like super tall and broad and loud as hell #so I can hear him like mumbling shit all annoyed and I'm like hey Jake what's up? you doin ok? #and he sighed and was like no. the schools internet filter started blocking my FAVORITE board game forum #and now when I have a thought I can't just look it up to see if anyone's said anything about it. and that's like ALL I do. it's so annoying #and I was like Jake maybe that's why they blocked it akddjkansbdjsdbebs #god I love that dude. and this barely mentions my other supervisor who is autistic and pansexual and married to a woman #and both of them foster several kids. Jake has like 10 fuckin kids or smth bc he was fostering a couple of kids and then he got married #and she already had children and then they had a baby together. idk he's got like a whole baseball team they're very cute

[bmpmp3]

when people complain about getting like, a 98% grade on something because it was "so close to perfect" its like. i understand what you're saying on a technical level. but that is a line of thought so far away from my experiences and ways of thinking that i do feel like im from another planet. 100% isnt even a real number to me

#i kinda understand when its something like a multiple choice test or something where there is an objective answer #it might feel like u got so close but just missed one #again still a bit alien to me because my scholarly performance is mysterious and anything over 70 is great to me #but i mean ive had a 98 before once in a math test. i did get exactly 1 bit of 1 question wrong #but i didnt really care that it was one off from perfect i was too busy being happy because that was the highest mark id ever received #and the previous math test i had taken got a 53% . grade 11 was a wild time for me in math class GHJKSHFKds #anyway i kinda see where ur coming from with stuff with right or wrong answers like that #but i sometimes get friends in class complain that they got a 95 or something on an art assignment #because they think they got docked 5 points for one or two little things #but i dunno. thats not really how fine arts departments in university tend to grade things #you dont start at 100 and get docked marks for things you got wrong. i dont think ive ever seen a 100% on something like that #tbh the numbers are a little arbitrary i find. i do prefer to try to get em higher because that helps with grants and stuff #but the numbers dont mean all that much in fine arts or in art history (my two majors) a 75 and a 95 can function the same depending on lik #weighting and context and feedback and whatever. i dunno its a wild world out there #it might just be the perspective of someone who did really goodbad in school. (GoodBad (tm) its when ur good but also kinda bad at school!) #compared to someone who got a lot of perfects in mandatory schooling. i sympathise i really do that kind of pressure sounds insane #but while i sympathize i cant really empathize as much unfortunately with this specifically orz its a world very far outside my purview! #100%s arent real to me so they never cross my mind to be worried about LOL

[silenthillbunni]

.

#the past week i've been waking up early and feeling wide awake O.O #then i scroll on my phone for 2-3hrs then i get tired and fall asleep again #it's super annoying bc it messes w my sleep schedule #and like... i missed class today bc i did this!!!!!! wth.... #my sleep hasnt worked normally since like november 2022 tho #it's been roughhhhh but it just wont get better again #i wake up every 3hrs nd then go back to sleep nd i do this for maybe 9hrs sometimes 12 🥴 #and i get up at like 12-13 nd thats not good when i have classes at 9 nd 10 lol #i dont know it's just super frustrating! i've been struggling w my sleep for over a year nd it just wont get better #nd like i just wanna sleep thanks!!!! #(ofc since i have health anxiety my mind starts spiraling abt how sleep's essential nd it's while sleeping your body regenerates nd heals #nd since i dont sleep well my body isnt healing as well!!!! so then im fucked right?!?!? then my lack of sleep is making me sicker right?!)