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awigglycultist · 2 years

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Pt 2 of The Guide: Hatchetfield (also made by Starkid but it felt like this should be its own category). Every story in the Hatchetfield series takes place in different timeline I say this so your not confused by certain things that happen to characters in one story not having happened in another. There a few stories that do actually take place in the same time line but I'll mention it when that's the case. Pretty much everyone loves Hatchetfield series, it's basically a whole fandom on its own. I could talk about it and theories on it forever. It's all horror comedy.

The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals (TGWDLM). The first of the Hatchetfield series. Now, SK actually wrote Nerdy Prudes Must Die (NPMD), then Black Friday, then TGWDLM but TGWDLM was released first bc it was the easiest to make and the best to introduce ppl into the world and they made it be good as a stand alone in case it didn't do well and therefore not make the rest of the series. And it totally does work well as a stand alone. Even though I think Twisted is the best SK musical, this one is actually my favorite. It's really great, hilarious, awesome music, everything's great, and it was the first musical of theirs I watched, its original and not parody and I love the characters. Have you heard the audios "please god I just want a black coffee!" or "were about the same age how come I didn't know you in high school?" "you probably went to hatchetfield high I went to sycamore" because this is where those came from.

Summary: This borning office worker named Paul hates musicals and has a crush on a barista, Emma. A meteor hits their town and a zombie apocalypse starts, but it's no normal zombie apocalypse. Everyone is taken over and becomes sorta an alien and they're all become apart of this musical hive mind breaking into song and dance and getting others to become apart of the hive mind. Paul, his coworkers, and the barista now have try and survive this apotheosis. Trailer

Black Friday (BF). It's about the wonderful totally beloved American holiday Black Friday. Alot of ppl don't see it as that funny but personally I think it's pretty funny? Yeah it doesn't have the most jokes but all of the jokes that are in there are very funny. It is overall meant to be more serious though so.

Summary: A new toy comes out, called a Tickle Me Wiggly, that everyone wants to get for their kid. Tom Houston wants to get it to help try and help mend his relationship his son Tim bc Tom's wife/Tim's mom died the year before and Tom sees it as his fault. Tom meets his old high school girlfriend Becky and their love begins to rekindle. Lex works at the store Toy Zone and she want to get herself, her boyfriend, Ethan, and her younger sister, Hannah, out of Hatchetfield as soon as possible. Everyone starts fighting over the toy, going far to get the toy, even the president of the US has to get involved. The characters I mentioned all attempt to survive through the day. And it turns out there's more behind the toy than just a cute ball of fluff. Trailer

The next few summaries are probably gonna sound neater and are also gonna be shorter. This is cause I for the most part just took the summaries SK gave for them and just like ever so slightly changed them. Nightmare Time (NMT) are script readings, but they still have songs in them. Also yes some of the links for the stories lead to the same video, don't worry, this is because every episode of NMT season 1 had two stories in it. There's two trailers I'm gonna give you for season 1. Here's the first one. And here's the second.

The Hatchetfield Ape-Man (THAM). Absolutely hilarious and ridiculous, there is a few more serious moments but over and just super goofy.

Summary: Lucy has been searching for the Hatchetfield Ape-Man for many years and nearly gives up when she finds out Professor Hidgens has discovered the Ape-Man.

Watcher World (WW). More serious, one of my faves of NMT and a lot of ppl's faves of NMT.

Summary: Bill and Alice go to local theme park Watcher World for a day of daddy daughter fun! They don't get along well. And the theme park is no help and there's some dark secret going on in there too.

Forever and Always (F&A). Good mix of silly and serious leaning a bit towards silly. Has everyone's faves Paul and Emma. It's an extremely interesting story imo.

Summary: Paul and Emma are getting married! Except Emma has a dark secret that comes to light and their relationship may become in danger.

Time Bastard (TB). My personal NMT fave but that's probably partially cause I'm werid. Also a good mix of silly and serious leaning a bit more towards serious. This and F&A take place in the same timeline.

Summary: Ted accidentally discovers time travel and things go a little wild and he messes a lot of stuff up.

Jane's A Car (JAC). More sillyness. It's, not as a goofy as THAM but still very silly. Ppl kinda overlook this one and yeah it's not my fave but the reason it's overlooked is really mainly bc there's a particular scene that's. Very goofy and inappropriate and silly. And everyone latched onto the insanity of that scene and kinda ignored the rest.

Summary: Tom gets his old car back, the car his wife died in, and it turns out, she's haunting the car.

The Witch In The Web (WITW). The most serious of NMT1. Lots of lore. Great.

Summary: Hannah's been having nightmares of an evil witch and her "imaginary" friend Webby goes missing. She gets the help of her social worker and his friend who has powers.

All of NMT2 takes place in the same timeline together, some eps are more connected than others, some just make references, but they do all take place in the same time and for the part all right about the same time. Again some of the links lead to the same video because some of the episodes had two stories in them. Trailer

Honey Queen (HQ). This is a really fun one, it's just terrible ppl doing terrible things. Very fun.

Summary: It's time for Hatchetfield's annual Honey Festival, and therefore also the Honey Queen Pageant. The rich Linda Monroe and a barista Zoey Chambers both enter the Pageant. Linda wants her dad's attention and Zoey wants to get out of Hatchetfield. They are each other's biggest competition, and they both want it bad and will do anything they can to win. But theres also some secrets happening with Pageant.

Perky's Buds (PB). A lot of ppl don't like this one. It's not my fave but I do really love the villain and there's lots of funny lines, it's kinda a stoner comedy mixed with horror comedy, also got some important lore.

Summary: Emma finally has gotten her dream pot farm. Unfortunately for her Nighthawks keep eating her weed and her neighbours aren't happy about her farm. So she and her farm hand now must defend their farm.

Abstinence Camp (AC). I love this one and love the characters. It's fairly inappropriate but it's still great. It's also got the two best songs of the season.

Summary: Nerdy Prude Grace somewhat accidentally starts a rumor about the mayor's daughter, Steph, being pregnant, which lands her in Abstinence Camp, along with Grace who goes there for fun, and along with nerdy but not so prudey Pete who doesn't want to be there ethier. At camp there's some odd consulers and theres a legend of a supposed killer lerking in the woods.

Daddy. Yes that is the full title of the story. It's a goofy one but there's lore. It's similar to JAC where the funny name kinds overshadows the story. But it has two of best actors as the main characters and they work so well together. It also will make you feel a lot of sympathy for a character who before this you'll have not seen a lot of but will probably hate before this.

Summary: Frank, the owner of Toyzone, is running out business thanks to online buying. Then he gets to together with his best customer's mom who is rich. But turns out this family has a secret. There's a reason their last name is Young. And being a dad isn't that fun.

Killer Track (KT). This is a very sad one. You will be completely emotionally destroyed. I love it. Everyone loves it. Everyone's sad thanks to it.

Summary: A song that kills people after being listened too. It's a classic fake hoax. Except this time it's real. Rose meets a strange guy and who has her listen to the song. As time runs out and she gets closer to death she seeks help from a certain social worker and witchy woman. But times running out for the town too and they need to stop the song for being heard by anyone else.

Yellow Jacket (YJ). MMM SO MUCH LORE AND ANGST/SADNESS IN THIS ONE TOO! Very good everyone loves this one a ton, including me ofc.

Summary: After Hannah has accident in ship class her, Lex and Ethan find themselves in a lot of debt. Luckily for them Hannah has a gift, a power, and after a man sees what she can he brings her and Ethan to a deadly competition for her to join, and its high paying. But will Hannah be able to survive?

Nerdy Prudes Must Die (NPMD). I think this is the funniest Hatchetfield show and I love the character so much and the music is some of the best starkid music imo.

Summary: When the biggest losers at Hatchetfield High unwittingly complete an ancient, evil ritual, they unleash an all- powerful, angry spirit with a grudge against nerds. That’s when Stephanie Lauter, Grace Chasity, and a cast of social rejects must fight to save themselves and nerdy prudes everywhere. But can any of them survive the fury of a bully from beyond the grave? Trailer

Summary: the starlight theatre wanted to produce a show made by an aspiring local writer, and they ended up choosing Professor Hidgens and his show Workin' Boys, but suggest he make some changes to the show. Trailer.

Workin' Boys. You can buy tickets to the Hatchetfield Halloween Party to see this. It's so cool to see something in Hatchetfield filmed like this. Jeff does a great job at playing Hidgens and the whole short film is really fun.

#starkid #hatchetfield

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the-super-starkid-theory · 3 years

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The origin of the Lords in Black is still one crowded with mystery. Who are they? Where did they come from? How did they create the Black and White? WHAT are they?

Let’s start with what we know about them.

Curious to know more about what this is? See the explanatory post here.

They are lots of different colours, and some of them are a distorted image of animals we can recognise. Wiggly is a squid like creature. Tinky – a goat. Even Webby is a spider. The others are less recognisable but they are bipedal and covered in colourful fur.

They are from a reality where the concept of soul transference is possible. The words of the Black Book powerful enough to transfer Jane’s soul into the car upon her death.

They don’t speak like regular humans. They speak in exaggerated, comical tone, and Wiggly especially chooses to speak in a “cutesy” way.

One of the brothers, Pokey, has the ability to infect humans with spores, causing them to sing and dance.

They have some kind of link with corporations and enterprise. Wilbur, in Wiggly’s name, uses the human need for products to take over their minds. Blinky owns Watcher World, a full theme park. Tinky has a link to CCRP, baiting Ted into using the time machine in his office to entrap him.

A long time ago… in the far off future, a mega corporation funded a human trip to a distant planet. One that was filled with all sorts of creatures, from giant bugs, to strange, colourful mammals.

The mammals purpose was to become a shelter for eggs implanted within them – later to become the food of the bug hatchlings that emerged.

However, as the bugs had grows and become more sentient many, many years prior – so to were the mammals. Some of the mammals had gained a greater awareness of their circumstances – evolving in language and size.

Four of them managed to escape, when the spider in charge of them realised they were more than they appeared. She chose to turn her back as they fled – but was shocked to find who they had met.

They had ran to the darkest part of the planet, the part the bugs even stayed away from, where most of the land was covered in water. There they met a fifth being, similar to them, but not quite. More advanced, covered in green fur and with tentacles protruding from his face. This one who called himself the Lord in Black took them in, harnessing the power of the black inky depths of his home. They gained powers themselves, such as the ability to control the musical spores that floated within the planet’s gaseous atmosphere. One had discovered the secret to the powers of the brain leeches – trapping their power of soul transference within a simple incantation.

It was the final discovered power that set everything in motion. One of them was able to manipulate time and space, and when the spider who had freed them had found them, had come to warn them about the dangers of fraternising with their Lord in Black, he had catapulted them all through time and space – the inky depths of the water becoming a new dimension – that could open anywhere they wanted to go…

#super starkid theory #starkid #starship #hatchetfield #the lords in black #this is one part fic and two parts ridiculous theorising

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hatchetfieldtheories · 1 year

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Ridiculous theory I had while literally falling asleep:

The island of Hatchetfield is literally a Lord in Black. Part of a giant eldritch monster that's just been chilling in the lake for hundreds of years.

That's why so much happens there, with witches and monsters and eldritch beasts. They're all drawn in by it's B&W energy.

That's why so many Hatchetfield kids get the gift, they're living on a LiB.

That's why the lake is so big, its full of secrets.

#starkid #team starkid #ridiculous hatchetfield theory

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hatchetfieldtheories · 3 years

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what if "latte hottay" is actually just a drink name after all and not an actual person?

Ted just once said to the rest of the team that he could marry the latte hottay, and they all assumed it was a real person.

Ted, to try and save face as the sleazeball he is went along with it.

Though he's ended up doing that thing where he tries so hard to pretend that he meant a woman all along, and not just a drink, he actually keeps bringing it up when he could have just dropped the topic six months ago.

In fact, no-one in the CCRP Technical team actually remembers the original conversation.

---

"... the LATTE HOTTAY... MY WIFE..."

Phew, Ted thought as Paul walked off away from him, they still don't realise... Ted, you're such a good actor.

Ask: Send me a ridiculous Hatchetfield Theory and I'll make it make sense.

#ridiculous hatchetfield theories #starkid #team starkid #hatchetfield #ask #ted spankoffski

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hatchetfieldtheories · 3 years

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If you still do the ridiculous theory thing,

So the entire show of TGWDLM was a very elaborate prank pulled on Paul and Emma.

I definitely do, lovely.

"No, guys, this is gonna be so funny, you'll see."

Bill looks at Ted with reservations. "Remind me again why we can't just tell Paul to ask her out? Why do we have to do a full on apocalypse edition of Punk'd?"

"Uh, because its hilarious. Look, Bill, all you need to do is look at bit scared, we'll hide in the trash cans, and eventually they'll run into each others arms, at which point we - boom- pop out and yell YA PUNK'D!"

"Ok, Mr Kutcher but I really don't think we'll get Mr Davidson in on it."

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2 hours later

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Ted looks at Bill with pride, "wow Mr Davidson must have done a really good job, Paul went running from the building. How did you get him in on it?"

Bill looks at Ted confused. "I thought you spoke to him?"

Melissa peeps around the door and asks one of their other co-workers, Colin, to go in and see Mr Davidson. 10 minutes later, Colin comes out singing.

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30 mins later

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"Ted how many people did you get in on this?"

"I dunno, I guess word got around and people want to get involved?"

"Right... so the hiding in the trash cans is for the surprise and not because you're actually scared right?"

"Well no duh, Bill."

At that moment a group of Hatchetfield residents they definitely didn't know danced past, led by a girl in a Greenpeace vest.

"Bill."

"What?"

"Strange things are afoot in Hatchetfield."

Ask: Send me a ridiculous Hatchetfield Theory and I'll make it make sense

#in which Bill and Ted attempt to prank Paul with the thing he hates most #but coincidentally pick the same day a musical apotheosis happens #starkid #hatchetfield #team starkid #ridiculous hatchetfield theories #ask

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hatchetfieldtheories · 3 years

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Not necessarily a theory, but definitely ridiculously: In Tto Grandpa claims that goats are crustaceans. You know who else is a goat? Tinky! Grandpa also claims to have seen the watchers. Idk what this means but Grandpa knows something.

Mind blown.gif

Ok let's follow this logically.

Grandpa had a fight with the Lobsters, that as we see with Cornwallis are giant, human sized lobsters who can speak English.

Lobsters are crustaceans, and Grandpa considers goats crustaceans also.

Tinky is a Goat, and Grandpa has seen the Watchers.

Crustacean is a word Grandpa has assigned to those abnormally large beings he can't otherwise categorise. Lobsters are one of these types of beings. Goats and Watchers are two others.

Therefore we can conclude, in Grandpa's personal war with the Lobsters, the Lobsters were given help and support by the Lords in Black, which is when Grandpa saw them. Despite this, Grandpa survived and is allowed to tell humanity that he had been able to "banish the Lobsters to the sea".

Moral of the story: Grandpa is a super powerful being who we should all be terrified of.

#ridiculous hatchetfield theories #kind of?#rewatchers1000 #starkid #team starkid #ask #hatchetfield

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blueskiesandstarrynights · 2 years

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Ridiculous theory: McNamara is a deity because like the Lords in Black, he too, is in black

Gonna take a few liberties with this one since plenty of characters wear black, especially PEIP soldiers Something wasn't normal about General Macnamara. Everyone at PEIP knew it, it didn't take long to figure that out at least. Beyond that, no one could reach a consensus on what exactly was going on with their general. Some seemed to think he was a witch (There were a few people in PEIP with a touch of the Gift, but some were adamant he didn't just have the Gift, he was a witch witch). Others seemed to think he's a shapeshifter. Not just someone with the Gift who can shapeshift, but a non-human being who can shapeshift some thinking he's from the Witchwood and others saying he's from the Black and White.

This theory is particularly popular amongst the cadets who swore they've seen Major Lee having a full serious conversation with a bald eagle as if he were General Macnamara.

A fair few even seem to think he's a deity originating from the Black and White, perhaps someone of the same species as Webby, the spider goddess who has assisted PIEP in many cases in the past, citing times people have spotted General Macnamara having conversations with a white spider.

Regardless, the PEIPs don't care who or what he is, having kept his division safe, leading to the largest number of successful missions and running PIEP smoothly for many years.

#anon #asks #ehhhh i wish this was written better but I just wanna get this out there #im probably posting at a bad time oh well #hatchetfield #john macnamara #general macnamara #bf #black friday #xander lee #ridiculous hatchetfield theories

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hatchetfieldtheories · 3 years

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Pokey and Hannah used to be friends but had a falling out at some point

There's two things Hannah knew about the Black and White.

1 - Time worked differently there, which meant that sometimes when one of the Beings that resided there tried to reach out to her, she was never sure if it was a younger or older version than the last time.

2 - The Lords in Black weren't always bad.

Webby had explained that to her, when Pokey had reached out to her the first time. He was from a time before - before the Lords in Black she knew had decided chaos was their favourite past time. Before the divergence of timelines. Before Hannah could see the conclusions of each of their plans spanned across realities.

She had been scared, initially, when a a sing-song voice that sounded like it was made up of a large choir spoke to her. She had yelled and told it to go away. And Webby had intended to allow her to - until she realised how much younger her brother was here. This wasn't the Pokotho who had sent a meteor to Hatchetfield, hell it wasn't even the Pokotho who had planted a seed of knowledge of singing and dancing into the minds of those early humans. No, he was even younger. And unaware of his own future.

So Webby encouraged Hannah to reach out in return, to show kindness and friendship to her brother, in the hopes it could change... something. Anything. Give them an ally against the other brothers. And for a while, Hannah had two super powerful friends, keeping her company at night when the dreams started. Songs, and stories and advice.

Until Hannah had a vision.

Pokey had been singing, when she saw it. A reality not too different from theirs, except everyone was singing and dancing in unison through a haze of blue. A meteor falling from the sky while blue lightning flashed. A man in a shirt and tie being pulled in every direction by the vocalists. All singing with a singular voice.

When she came back, in her own bedroom, Pokey had gone quiet.

What was that. A hundred voices in Hannah's head whispered. It wasn't a question. I can have that?

"No," Hannah tried to be firm in her response. "You can't have that."

Webby wasn't around. Why wasn't Webby around? This was important.

"You can't have that." She tried again, after being met with inquisitive silence.

And you think you can stop me?

Ask: Send me a ridiculous Hatchetfield Theory and I will make it make sense.

#ridiculous hatchetfield theories #hatchetfield #starkid #team starkid #ask #pokey #hannah foster #webby #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm #black friday #nightmare time #it kinda encompasses all three doesn't it

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hatchetfieldtheories · 2 years

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ridiculous hatchetfield theory: a spankoffski ancestor pissed off one of the supernatural beings in hatchetfield who was already having a horrible day and ended up cursing the entire bloodline

Willabella had had enough.

Every movement she made, there was a Spankoffski just - there.

First at the General Store, where one of the Spankoffski brothers had sold her the sage and rosemary.

Then, on her way back to her home, a Spankoffski brother had stopped her on the road to try and sell her some nonsense.

And again, three hours later, a knock on her door. Before she could even tell whoever it was to go away, yet another Spankoffski boy came rushing in, unwelcomed to bother her once more. Though for what she had no clue, as when he got a glimpse of her potions and the symbols gracing her floor he had turned pale and excused himself with haste.

Yes, Willabella had had enough. And as the town mob knocked her door in. As they read her her sentence, she stared at the one Spankoffski in the crowd. One? Three? Thirty? It didn't matter.

Curses on them. And all who come after them.

Ask: Send me a ridiculous Hatchetfield Theory and I'll make it make sense

#starkid #team starkid #hatchetfield #ridiculous hatchetfield theories #nightmare time

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hatchetfieldtheories · 3 years

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Ridiculous Theory: Duolingo Owl is a Lord in Black

Wiggly had a new plan.

One simple spell, that's all it would take to bring him into their reality. He'd tried the dolls and the portal and failed. Sure he'd caused an apocalypse but that wasn't his end goal. His end goal was domination, not just mere carnage.

So, new plan. A spell created by Willabella years ago, that he'd disregarded as he'd need a whole towns worth of people willingly uttering it over the course of a week. Which seemed impossible.

Until his Uncle Wiley told him about translation apps.

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They'd started a craze, all of Hatchetfield suddenly deciding to learn irish because the Mayor had, then the librarian. Then Linda Monroe had taken it up, declaring that anyone who was anyone was learning irish- it was the new french. No-one really understood what that meant, but regardless, it got the citizens of Hatchetfield talking.

Plus, the little green owl was cute!

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Cupán caife le do thoil

Tom knew this one, "cup of coffee please."

Wilbur is ainm dom

"Erm, Wilbur is - no, my name is Wilbur!"

The little owl was happy, 4 in a row correct.

Dubh bán spiorad bás

"How do you do!" Correct again!

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Across Hatchetfield, hundreds of little, green owls smiled, as the residents practiced their phrases.

Dubh... bán... spiorad... bás

#my duolingo owl is sad #ive not been on in so long #ridiculous hatchetfield theories #starkid #team starkid #hatchetfield #ask #who's gonna translate the spell then?

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hatchetfieldtheories · 2 years

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Hannah is an egg for a 6th lord in the black. its why both wiley and wiggly mentioned cracking her open and wiggly mentioning that she should serve him makes sense because its stated that wiggly is the one in charge of his brothers

In 2005 a portal was opened. If you ask anyone at PEIP they could tell you the story, about how someone went in, and promptly lost his mind.

But what they all neglect to mention, is that amongst all the chaos, something else came out.

The way Wilbur understood it, the ball of energy was what came before a Lord in Black. Their first form. Like the egg before the duckling.

However on contact with his reality, it dispersed. Shooting orange tendrils of light in all directions that he couldn't follow.

It was over a decade later when he found out where it had gone. Converging in one place, in Hatchetfield, learning from its environment and taking the guise of a baby. Living as a child so long it had forgotton what it really was. What it was holding within it.

What could be released...

Ask: Send me a ridiculous Hatchetfield Theory and I'll make it make sense

#starkid #team starkid #hatchetfield #ridiculous hatchetfield theories #black friday

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hatchetfieldtheories · 2 years

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So you know how we learned Mac was an eagle for some unspecified amount of time? You know how we heard about Cathy's cat being in a tree? What other character do we know has been in a tree? Becky Barnes. In the TGWDLM timeline, Becky was Cathy's cat /hj

Becky was Cathy's Cat - it seems Ridiculous Hatchetfield Theories are back, friends. Oh I've missed writing them.

Becky Barnes spent most of her time working at the children's hospital, but Hatchetfield being the type of town it was, she sometimes helped out in other locations when needed.

It was one of these occasions, when she was walking down a quiet corridor one evening and heard mumbling coming from one of the rooms, it sounded vaguely like "la dee dah" but the patient wasn't sjnging. As she opened the door slightly to check in on the patient, she felt something brush past her leg and run into the room.

Was that a cat?

Becky pushed the door further open to check inside and was suddenly greeted with a flash of white light. She woke up on the floor, the room in total darkness, and... bigger? Somehow. The bed, the cabinets, the windows. All stangely oversized.

Then she tried to stand, four black paws treading on the floor in place of her two feet. A long black tail swaying behind her. And her own body, lay on the floor in front of her.

The rest was a blur, a woman she somehow remembered as called Cathy came running in, picking her up with a cheerful "I've found you!" - before seeing Becky's human body on the floor. The scream was deafening in Becky's ears.

---

Becky was one of the first to notice something was wrong. People in town singing and dancing. One man in a brown suit looking wide eyed and panicked in the midst of them. Patrons walking into the coffee shop looking completely fine, but leaving with eyes glowing blue.

But she couldn't do anything. Except hide up a tree, and hope whatever it was would pass - or leave her alone. Maybe it wouldn't affect cats. Maybe.

"I've found you!"

Becky looked down from her branch to see Cathy staring up at her. With a smile that didn't quite reach her now bright, blue eyes.

Ask: Send me a ridiculous Hatchetfield Theory and I'll make it make sense!

#starkid #nightmare time #team starkid #hatchetfield #ridiculous hatchetfield theories #the guy who didn't like musicals #tgwdlm

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