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sakuradeservedbetter91 · 3 months

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Bink! Can we please hear about Norman Fucking Rockwell for the WIP name game I'm intrigued

ALEX! YES SIR YOU MAY! 🥹🥰

So. This fic. Oh boy. I started writing it back when I came back to writing fanfic in 2020 after finding the lovely ShiSaku ship, and that's when I started actually interacting in fandom and talking to people and not being a lurker! Bc I've read fic for YEARS, and I've left comments and what not back when I was active on ff dot net (which also has my very old and first fanfics I wrote when I was in high school 💀).

And like, my first spicy, smutty fic I published was my KankuSaku fic after I came back to writing fanfic, BUT THIS FIC. This was the first fic where I actually wrote smut. I just never finished it before the KankuSaku one, and ofc, as is my usual now, I got a ton of other plot bunnies and fic ideas I started writing as my attention span drifted 🤣

ANYWAY, around this time is when Lana Del Rey's album Norman Fucking Rockwell!! had just come out and I was listening to it on repeat, and I got the crazy idea to write a ShiSaku fic for each song on that album bc I kept getting inspired🤣 I have a whole document of the ideas for each song.

And so, ANYWAY, long story short, this is one of my first fics I started writing and haven't finished yet bc it's a doozy and is going to be longer than initially planned.

The premise is a modern au AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES, and some mutually secret pining but also maybe they're both in denial, and also best friends with benefits turned lovers. ANYWAY.

Here's a lil snippet for your trouble and having to read all this 🥹 this is also the part of the fic where I definitely used some lines from the song 🤣 SOME SPICE AHEAD 🫡

“God damn,” Sakura panted, long pink hair spread out against her bedroom pillow. Sheet pulled up over her naked chest, forehead slicked with sweat, Sakura looked to her left and arched a brow. “I know it’s been a while for me, but god damn, Shisui.”

He smirked and gave a throaty chuckle before leaning back against her headboard, arms crossed behind his head, her gray sheets low on his hips. She bit her lip as her eyes trailed the lines of his abdomen, remembering how she was trapped beneath his body moments ago.

“God damn is right,” Shisui said, a dimpled grin still on his face as he noticed her appraisal. He raked one hand through his unkempt curls, obsidian eyes crinkled as he continued, “Now why didn’t we do that years ago? I know I’m good at sex, but it’s never been that good.”

Sakura rolled her eyes, ignoring the flutter in her heart as she turned on her side and cradled her head in her left hand. She knew why it was so good for her, but she knew it couldn’t possibly be the same reason for him.

“Shisui, years ago we weren’t even friends,” Sakura said. She looked away quickly when Shisui scoffed and reached out to poke her forehead, trying not to blush. Years ago, as a teen, Sakura had an embarrassing crush on him, but she’d never tell him that.

“Oh, come on. You, Sasuke, and Naruto were joined at the hip growing up,” Shisui started, “and Itachi and I were always there to play with you when those two brats had one of their spats.”

Sakura looked back at him and giggled, batting her eyelashes cheekily before saying, “Hmm, I remember Itachi nicely humoring me while I waited those two idiots out, but I don’t remember you. I only remember an annoying nuisance pulling on my pigtails. Must not have happened.”

“Oi, come here you,” Shisui growled playfully, leaning over and grabbing Sakura by her hips, dragging her on top of him. The sheet fell away from her chest, yet even indifferent to her bareness, Sakura still blushed as Shisui eyed her petite breasts with a grin.

Sakura steadied herself on his lap, bending her legs around his waist, hands resting on his shoulders as she looked into his hooded eyes now that she was on top of him again, nestled against his lower body. Shisui settled his hands on her waist, thumbs slowly rubbing circles into her skin underneath the waistband of her underwear he was too impatient to take off earlier. As he increased the pressure of his thumbs, Sakura hummed at the warmth and closed her eyes, rolling her neck until she heard a pop.

Suddenly, the warmth was gone and Sakura was gasping for breath as her back hit her mattress. Shisui hovered over her, his fingers tickling her sides and drifting towards her armpits–her most ticklish spot. His mouth ticked upwards as mischief bloomed in his eyes.

“S-stop, S-Shisui, oh my god, s-stop!” Sakura laughed, rolling around and clenching her arms against her body to ward off his attack.

Shisui laughed and Sakura’s heart stuttered like it always did, but she ignored it as his fingers drifted down towards the back of her knees. She kicked out trying to escape his grasp.

“Didn’t happen, huh?” Shisui sang, laughter in his throat. “How do I know all your most sensitive places then, huh?”

Sakura giggled and then screamed as Shisui reached the back of her knees despite all her kicking. After a moment of struggling, she finally got out from under him, wrestling him back onto the bed. She locked her knees around his pelvis and pressed her torso flush against his, breasts flat against his chest as her arms pinned his shoulders down. Sakura marveled at how Shisui was still so warm but focused on catching her breath.

Huskily, Sakura said between breaths, “Shisui, we just spent the past two hours fucking each other’s brains out. Of course you know all my sensitive areas.”

“Ah, but do you know mine, Sakura-chan?” Shisui asked, bucking his hips against hers, one eyebrow arched in a challenge.

Sakura laughed, squirming at the sudden arousal she felt at his actions. Looking down at him, she smirked and said, “You know, for someone so tall, and older I might add, you act like such a fucking man-child sometimes, Shisui-kun.”

“You love it,” Shisui murmured, bringing his hands back to her hips and pushing them down against his.

#asks #shisaku #binkerbell writes #snippets

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alpaca-clouds · 6 months

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Mary Sues are a stupid concept

I wanna vent about this one thing that has annoyed me for so long. The concept of the "Mary Sue". On one hand it seems that fandom at large has moved past it - but on the other hand, I still see a lot of whiney dudes comment how this and that female or non-white character is a Mary Sue. Especially in Star Wars this seems to be an evergreen topic.

So, let me say it outright: The concept of the Mary Sue was always a silly one. I can absolutely see where it came from in terms of fanfiction, but when it comes to canon media, it ends up being a shitty concept beginning to end.

Originally the entire thing about the Mary Sue came from the kind of OC within Star Trek fanfiction, who were outstanding in any way imaginable - and often were romantic interests of one or even multiple of the male crew. Which showed up often enough, given the fact that a lot of the fanfic writers were female and Star Trek - while always progressive for its time - has still a lot more male than female characters.

From there the concept got adapted into other fandoms. Most of all I saw it within a lot of HP fandom discussion back in the day. And if you were active in Fandom for a while, you probably at some point have come across The Ultimate Mary Sue Litmus test.

But... it was always silly, right?

I mean, sure, yes. I do know those stereotypical Mary Sues from multiple fandoms. Like the kind that is half-dragon, quarter-elf, one-eighth unicorn, has this one superspecial skill, a superdramatic backstory, and about the same kind of hair colors as your average Yu-Gi-Oh! character.

But here comes the usual thing: Fanfiction is free. You are not forced to read it. There is a "return" button in your browser for a reason. And just... allow folks to have their own power fantasy within their favorite universe. Fanfiction in the end is all about wishfulfillment after all.

This entire thing became more stupid over time, though, when certain groups decided to decry all sorts of female and marginalized characters in canon material as a "Mary Sue". Within the MCU I saw Carol Danvers and T'Challa both decried as Mary Sues. And She-Hulk, too. And probably the other marginalized characters, too.

And then there was Star Wars. Where they decried Rey as a Mary Sue and after that a lot of other characters as such, most recently of course Sabine.

Now, why is this so stupid?

Most of all because those characters usually are not out of the ordinary for their respective universe. They are not more powerful, or at least not more exceptional than most other characters of that universe.

The standards used on them are just different, than the standards used on male characters.

You know, a long while back, I was too bored and did the Litmus test linked above on several canonical character from media. Including the Anne Rice Books, the Sherlock Holmes books, Lord of the Rings, Twilight, Star Trek and Star Wars.

Now, out of this media Bella of Twilight got most often accused of being a Mary Sue. But out of the characters I went through it... she ended up with the lowest score. The highest, by the way, was Lestat. He is almost like the ultimate Mary Sue, really xD I mean, God and the devil argue about who gets to recruit him. But... I never saw a lot of argument happening about how much of a Mary Sue Lestat is.

So, yeah... In the end it is mostly just a veil for misogyny.

Also, mind you. The entire idea of valuing a character based on their powers whether or not the are "mary sue". But here is the thing: Not all stories have conflicts that can be resolved by punching them real hard. You can have the most powerful character - when the main conflict is political, all the power in the world will not resolve it.

#fanfiction #mary sue #star wars #star trek #anne rice #lestat de lioncourt #interview with the vampire #twilight #misogyny #feminism #women in media

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cchickki · 4 months

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"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks for tagging me @currymanganese! ❤️ sorry i'm doing this super late ugh

Star Sign(s):

virgo sun, pisces moon, capricorn rising (i can list my entire chart if anyone is interested lol)

Favorite Holidays:

i'm not religious but i absolutely love christmas. my favorite time of year and favorite holiday. i get depressed whenever it's over and i have to take the decorations down.

Last Meal:

i think a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. i was craving it lol

Current Favorite Musician:

lana del rey and kendrick lamar! i listen to a lot of music and all different genres, but those are my go to. there's something about fantastic writing/wordplay and production across both of their genres that just inspires me and transports me to a different place when i listen.

if anyone is interested, my spotify profile is here: (x)

When the Tigers Broke Free by Pink Floyd

The Wall is one of my favorite albums!

Last Movie Watched:

Everything Everywhere All At Once

i'm so glad i finally got to watch this movie, it was incredible. although watching it with my boomer dad at parts was awkward (aka the butt plug part lmaoooo)

Last TV Show Watched:

oh man, still trying to finish Succession, my husband is dragging his feet with it even though we both are enjoying it. finished The Boys almost 2 months ago, need to start Gen V soon. i'm bad at finishing shows, unless they're mini series.

Last Book/Fic Finished:

i recently reread Concrete Rose by Angie Thomas, the prequel to The Hate U Give. i haven't finished any of my fics in awhile, except for the two mini requests from my friend @chrissymodi-frost.

Last Book/Fic Abandoned:

oh boy... i've got quite a few i'm struggling to get through... just look at my ao3 and you can see how bad my writer's block has gotten lately :(

Currently Reading:

rereading The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas <3

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation:

i graduated in may 2023 with my art history degree, so i was deep into ancient egyptian history and art, and had to write a hefty 20 page paper on german painter Albrecht Dürer. my most recent hyperfixation was the uncharted games again, so while writing i was researching the Hoysala empire

Favorite Online Fandom Memory:

first joining tumblr and meeting so many friends on here. but i'll tell you back in 2013 when the citadel dlc for mass effect launched, that was an incredible build up and very fun few months.

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence:

not really an "old" fandom, but i was HEAVY into spiderverse over the summer, met some great mutuals through it. i still spiderverse, but don't feel as fixated with it at the moment. the fandom was kind of annoying with some people's think pieces, not gonna lie, and kind of turned a few of us off from it. i'm sure it'll have another "resurgence" when the next movie Beyond the Spiderverse comes out!

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did:

most recently the movie The Creator! movie was so visually stunning, with great/powerful themes, and one of my favorite tropes: found family (kinda) with a father/daughter dynamic. not enough people liked it/saw it which sucks, so the fandom is pretty much non existent for it. i want more art and fanfics from it! i'm going to be buying it soon, that way i can get inspirited and hopefully create more for it!

Tempting Project You're Trying to Reign In/Don't Have Time For:

i was working on creating a real-life version of nate's notebook from uncharted 4. it's taking a lot of time, and is quite an undertaking so i had to take a break from it. i do want to continue it though!

no pressure tags (sorry if you were already tagged!): @mothertodaughters, @chrissymodi-frost. @malabadspice, @not-those-kids, @durrtydawg, @lilylavender, @lilsnatch, @libertatias, @xinamiguel, @georgieluz, @distantsonata, @soft-girl-musings (and anyone else who wants to! sorry i'm trying to remember all my moots tumblr names)

#tag game #long post #about the blogger

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themeridian · 7 months

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HI I EXIST AND YOU DO TOO!

So here’s why I think I’m amazing and you should too

~Like however many things about me as I can think~

•I’ve been listening to redacted audio since February and I’m caught up on everything(ish)

•I’m a musical theatre person and I’ve been in 23 shows I’ve been doing this since I was 6

•I am a homosexual (pansexual [I think?])

•my slogan is “be gay, do drugs, hail satan”/hj it’s a really good song tho!!

•Fatherless😎

•I listen to a lot of TV girl and girl in red

•I say gender is above me when I cry about it at 3:00am

•Constant one or two aesthetics? Who’s she?

•I came here for Redacted Audio content was was not disappointed!!

•As of right now I'm in Godspell as the Turn Back O Man girl, Sonia!

•I have a collection of squishmellows and also little crystal Mushrooms

•my life goal is to move to NYC and become a broadway actor

•Taylor Swift hater and proud of it(I don’t like her music and find her annoying but at least he doesn’t have a shit ton of autotune)

•I have a Spotify where I made playlists for redacted audio characters(almost all of them, I still edit them all the the time) and other playlists! acc name: ASH! ^_−☆

~What I know/like~

•Redacted Audio

•Hazbin Hotel/Helluva boss

•WILL WOOD

•RTC, Heathers(both the movie and musical), Hamilton, Les Miserables, Mean Girls(both the movie and musical), etc.

•Lana Del Rey,Mitski,TV girl, etc.

•Steven Universe

•Stars

•Music in general(if you find my Spotify, PLEASE hmu with songs that u think I might like)

~My kinlist(Redacted and hazbin/helluva characters)~

•Freelancer(I’m still in school and I’m a trauma sponge too, also similar personalities, too much to name)

•Damien(overachiever, “gifted child”, mommy and daddy issues, gay)

•Angel/Guy(absolute chaos gremiln and certified vine quoter)

•Bright Eyes(ik their gone but I kin them so much it’s painful!! I take the blame for too much shit and I’m a scapegoat(kinda) and I’m rlly reckless)

•Tank/Darlin’(got into some bad situations because of people I’ve been around, impulsive, don’t ask for help enough)

•Angel Dust(preformer, jokes to cover truth, ✨trauma✨)

•Fizzarolli(preformance anxieties, always having to be at my best, "i have to be fine")

~things that I’ll dump on here~

•headcannons(probably a lot of headcannons lol)

•shitposts(random pictures that I found on Pinterest and gave context to)

•Those blank chart thingys(filled in with characters)

•fanfics(rarely,if I have the motivation)

•brain dumps/word vomits after an angst/lore/reverse comfort videos(panic hours)

All will be redacted audio content unless I’m feeling a bit different and yeah!

Thank you for reading and being here!

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sushigirlali · 6 months

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Bad Idea Right? - Part III (Reylo Fanfic)

Part I | Part II | Part III (Complete!)

Summary: Rey Niima realizes she may not be over Ben Solo when Hux’s social media posts show her ex-boyfriend may be moving on at Poe’s Halloween party. Donning a matching costume purchased before their breakup, Rey decides to stop running and confront him. Horny Halloween hijinks ensue!

Pairings: Rey/Ben, Rose/Hux, Finn/Poe

Continuity: Modern AU

A/N: Hope everyone had a great October! Spooky season may be “over,” but Rey and Ben still have to do the scariest thing of all: talk about their feelings 😱 Thanks for the nice comments, I really appreciate the encouragement 🥰

Master list –> AO3 | ff.net | Tumblr

——————

Bad Idea Right? - Part III

By: sushigirlali

——————

Boston, MA

Saturday, November 1

——————

Yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

"I only see him as a friend," the biggest lie I ever said

——————

The next morning, Rey woke to an annoying, repetitive buzzing. Slowly lifting her head off of Ben’s shoulder, she blearily looked around for the sound, but couldn’t see much in the dim room. After removing every stitch of clothing from both their bodies and making slow, sweet love to her a second time, Ben had remembered to close his heavy black curtains before they went to bed. Even after two months apart, he knew how much she liked sleeping in.

Pressing a kiss to his chin, Rey smiled down at him. He hadn’t given up on her. He still loved her, she knew it.

Buzz. Buzz.

Sighing deeply because she knew she deserved the rude awakening after what she’d put Ben through, Rey carefully lifted the arm encircling her waist and slipped off the bed. Ben stirred at her absence, turning to clutch her pillow, but didn’t wake.

Grinning like an idiot at his unconscious possessiveness, she went about identifying where the sound was coming from. She vaguely remembered tossing her purse aside before Ben blew her damn mind…

Buzz. Buzz.

“Ah ha!” she said quietly, squinting her way to the black crossbody on the floor with her phone in it.

Removing the device, she shut off the annoying 9 a.m. alarm. Glancing at the current time–10:31 a.m.–Rey realized she was going to be late for brunch with her friend. “Oh, shit. Whoops.”

Sending off a quick text before dashing into Ben’s bathroom, she took a quick shower using his sandalwood scented body wash (no wonder he always smelled so good), borrowed his comb to get the kinks out of her hair (from his fingers last night), and then entered his walk-in closet to try and hunt down something to wear that wasn’t a soiled cheerleader uniform (no regrets). But it didn’t take much of an expedition to find an outfit as he had apparently kept some of her things during their temporary breakup.

Shimmying into a simple black sleeveless dress and another set of expensive lacy underwear, she raced back into the bedroom to grab the white socks and sneakers she had worn with last night’s costume. Outfit complete, she glanced toward the bed to see if Ben was still sleeping.

“I really tired him out, huh?” she thought smugly. “Well, better leave a note in case he wakes up before I get back.”

Going over to the small reading desk in the corner, she pull out a sheet of paper and a pen and wrote:

Went to brunch at Frenchie with Rose, will be back later. Love you. - R

Impulsively adding a few little hearts to the note, she left it on his desk and skipped down the stairs. They still had a lot to talk about, but Rey was confident that after last night there was no getting him out of her system or vice versa. Therefore, in her newly minted opinion (free from the fear of rejection), they were stuck together forever.

But first: brunch.

——————

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex, but can't two people reconnect?

I only see him as a friend, I just tripped and fell into his bed

——————

Rey was amused to see that Finn and Poe had joined Rose at this thinly disguised interrogation over mimosas. Regardless of their intentions, it was probably for the best since she really needed to come clean with her closest friends. Ben’s reputation had been questioned because of her actions and, now that she had her head out of her ass, she needed to set the record straight.

“Hi, friends,” Rey smiled, dropping down into the seat they’d saved her.

Rose tapped her watch. “About time, babe.”

“Sorry, I totally missed my alarm.”

“It’s fine,” Finn said, defending her as always.

“It’s not, but it will be.” Rey paused as the waiter came by to take her order. She always got the same thing: eggs Benedict with fruit and bottomless mimosas, but today she was feeling adventurous. “Can I get the spicy breakfast burrito and a bloody Maria?”

The waiter jotted it down and left to fill her order.

Turning back to the table, Rey drew up short at their stunned expressions. “What?”

“Are you… okay?” Rose asked slowly. “You always order the same thing here.”

“I felt like a change,” she shrugged. “And don’t worry, I’m actually better than okay. Ben and I are back together,” she beamed.

Poe exchanged a dark look with Finn. “Listen, I know he’s our friend too, but are you sure you want to get mixed back up with him? You’ve been a total mess since he broke up with you and—”

“He didn’t break up with me,” she interrupted, annoyed at the way Poe was talking about Ben. “I broke up with him.”

“What?!” Her friends all exclaimed together.

As they waited with baited breath, Rey steeled her nerves and began to explain. “So, back in August, Ben put together this amazing scavenger hunt all over the city for our anniversary. There were puzzles and anagrams and all manner of silly clues that led to… a question and a box.”

Rose gasped. “Rey!”

“Yeah, he asked me to marry him.”

“You never told us that!” Rose looked upset.

“Neither did Ben,” Poe said thoughtfully.

“So, what happened then?” Finn asked, confused. “Did you have a fight about the proposal or something?”

“Not exactly. What happened—” Rey stopped again as the waiter placed her food and drink on the table. “Thanks!” she called to their retreating back.

Taking a fortifying sip of her savory cocktail, she continued, “What happened was I let my past dictate my actions and get in the way of my happiness.”

“What do you mean?” Finn leaned in for her answer.

“I know I’ve told you all a lot about my childhood, but… whatever you think happened to me in foster care, whatever you read between the lines, it was worse.”

“Oh, Rey.” Rose reached for her hand and she let her take it.

Rose’s kindness was just another reminder that her fears, while valid when she was a powerless child, were not based in reality now as an adult. She had people who loved her, people who would never turn their backs on her; she had a family now and they weren’t going anywhere.

So, Rey pressed on. “As a result, I have a deep fear of being rejected by the people I most care for and who are supposed to care for me. So, I…”

She choked up as she remembered the devastated look on Ben’s face when she had refused to marry him and ended their relationship. “Sorry, um… so, I told him I didn’t want to marry him or see him again and left him there all alone and it wasn’t his fault, so please don’t blame him.”

Her friends were silent for a long moment and she had to force herself to stay seated. If not for the passion she had shared with Ben the night prior, she didn’t know if this conversation would have ever happened. Actually, no, she did know. Ben still loving her after breaking his heart was proof that some bonds were strong enough to withstand almost anything.

At least, she hoped so.

“Rey,” Finn spoke first, “I’m not going to say that I fully understand why you treated him that way, you’re both so crazy for the other that it’s almost painful to watch sometimes, but it seems like you’ve really grown in the last few weeks and see that you were in the wrong.”

“Thanks, Finn.”

“Shit, I feel bad for how cold I’ve been to the big guy now,” Poe frowned. “I wish you would’ve told us sooner, but he certainly didn’t help things by keeping quiet too. Not that your relationship is necessarily our business,” he added. “I guess what I’m trying to say is you can confide in us in the future, okay?”

Rey nodded solemnly.

Rose was still holding her hand gently, but there was some fire in her eyes too. “I’m so mad at both of you for being complete and total idiots!” She tossed her long, black hair over her shoulder. “But I guess if you’ve decided to be idiots together again, I can’t stop you.”

“I appreciate it,” Rey chuckled.

“Anything else you need to get off your chest?” Finn teased.

Rey was teary eyed as she looked at her friends. They had been stern but fair, and they weren’t abandoning her. “I love you guys.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Poe drawled. “Let’s get another round. On Rey!”

“Cheers!” Rose and Finn said in unison.

Rey picked up her glass and smiled brightly. “Cheers!”

——————

Oh, yes, I know that he's my ex

Can't two people reconnect?

——————

Thirty minutes and three drinks a piece later, Rey was stunned when Rose threw an uneaten tater tot at her head.

“Hey!” Rey groused, rubbing her forehead. “What the heck was that for?”

Putting a hand to her temple like a migraine was oncoming, Rose handed Rey her cellphone.

Armie: Darling, I need you to get your friend Rey in check. Ben is drinking himself stupid in a shitty public bar and crying over a woman who “doesn’t love him enough to stay”

Armie: Whatever that means

Armie: Oh, great. I think he passed out

Armie: Well, at least he’s stopped crying

Rey reread the thread several times, totally shocked. “This can’t be real, not after the night I just shared with Ben. Is Hux trying to stir shit up again? Like with Bazine? Rose?”

“Scroll down,” Rose sighed dramatically, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Quickly doing just that, Rey gasped at the photo. Ben’s head was resting on a dirty bar top, surrounded by several empty beer bottles, and he did appear to be quite unconscious.

“I don’t understand!”

“What did you do after you two got back together last night?” Finn wondered.

“We—well, I guess we didn’t say it in, um… words… that we’re back together,” she stuttered. “It was more of a feeling.”

They all sighed at her this time.

“If you two really are back together, couples therapy is clearly a must,” Poe said, more serious than he had been all morning. “Your communication skills are atrocious.”

“Hey, I left him a note before coming here! I’m going back to his place right after this to hash everything out with him!” she said defensively.

“You left him a note?” Poe said skeptically.

“Yes! With a “love you” and stupid hearts and everything!”

Poe raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow. “And where did you leave this note?”

“On his desk, where I got the paper.”

“Not on his pillow or nightshade or in front of his damn coffee maker?” Poe continued.

“Oh my god,” Rey groaned, realizing her mistake. “I’m an idiot.”

Rose patted her hand. “That’s what I’ve been saying, love,” she said affectionately.

——————

The biggest lie I ever said

I just tripped and fell into his bed

——————

Slapping two twenties on the table, Rey pulled her phone out and opened a car service app. There was someone nearby who could take her to… where?

“Rose, ask Red where Ben is,” Rey demanded.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” Rose said primly.

“I mean—please ask Hux the name of the bar he and Ben are at,” she amended.

Rolling her eyes, Rose sent her boyfriend a short message. He returned it almost instantly, as if waiting for the question. “They’re at that place with the cheap drinks by the bus station where Kaydel rescued a kitten that one time,” she read verbatim.

“Not a name, but luckily I remember where that is.” Rey kissed Rose on the cheek. “Tell your interfering boyfriend I said thanks.” Then she waved goodbye to the boys and dashed out of the restaurant without another word.

“So, who’s gonna text her later to get the tea?” Poe said casually.

Finn and Rose stared at each other for a moment, then launched into a competitive game of rock-paper-scissors for the privilege of butting into their best friend’s business.

“You’re both ridiculous,” Poe laughed at them, “but this has definitely been a Halloween to remember.”

——————

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts

The biggest lie I ever said

——————

She found Ben slumped on the bar Hux had snapped a picture of ten minutes later, out of breath from running for several blocks; the hired car had let her out early after a traffic jam blocked their path. His friend was still there, drinking sparkling water and looking so out of place in his Gucci loafers and pressed suit that it was almost comical.

Ben, on the other hand, was wearing the rocker jeans from last night and a Hellfire Club raglan backwards. “Oh, Ben.”

Moving toward the bar, she tapped Hux on the shoulder to get his attention.

He tapped his expensive Rolex in response. “About time,” he said, prissy as ever.

“Wow, déjà vu,” she returned once her breathing had regulated, “your girlfriend did the same thing.”

Hux’s expression softened at the mention of Rose. “Did she come with you?”

“Nope, just me. She’s still at Frenchie with the guys.” Rey smirked when he looked crestfallen. “What a simp. I guess he’s not that bad.”

Hux stood from the stool two spots away from Ben and cast him a sympathetic look. “Well, I’m off since you’re here—hopefully to clean up your mess—but I must say,” he turned to glare down at her, “if you hurt him again there will be consequences.”

“Thanks for the warning—and the Instagram post last night and the texts to Rose this morning. They were just the kick in the head I needed to work it out with Ben. You’re a really good friend, he’s lucky to have you,” she beamed.

He looked incredibly uncomfortable at her compliment. “Yeah, well, he needs someone with a modicum of intelligence in his corner.”

Rey chuckled as he left, then turned concerned eyes on the man she loved. She had to fix this, once and for all. For both of them.

“Ben,” she said softly, going to stand beside him. His hair was longer than usual, falling softly over his face where it rested on his bent arm. “Ben, it’s me, I’m here.” His head lifted slowly, groggily, and she saw his eyes were puffy and red. “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry.”

“What… what are you doing here?” His voice was like gravel.

“Hux texted Rose while I was at brunch with her and Finn and Poe. I only went out with them to explain my part in our—uh—time apart and make sure they knew you weren’t to blame since we’re back together now,” she said so fast she hoped he got it all. “I left a note on your desk,” she added lamely.

He looked absolutely floored. “But—you left. Again. And I—wait, a note? Really?”

She took his much larger hands in hers and locked their fingers together. “Yes. I was just going to brunch, then I was coming back to you.”

He looked like he might cry again. “We’re back together?”

“Yes,” she smiled tremulously. “I mean… as long as that’s what you want too?”

“Of course I do.”

“Good, I’m glad.” A serious understatement because she was relieved as hell he wanted her back. “Can we go home and talk?”

Ben slipped off his stool and pulled her into a tight bear hug, a little clumsily because he was slightly intoxicated, but no less enthusiastic for being so. “I’ll go anywhere you want, just don’t leave me again.”

“I won’t,” she vowed, soaking up his warmth. “I can’t believe I almost lost this, lost him, all because I thought at some mysterious future point he’d get tired of me.”

Holding him close until he could stand on his own two feet, she promised herself that she wouldn’t make that particular mistake ever again.

——————

My brain goes, "Ah"

Can't hear my thoughts

I just tripped and fell into his bed

——————

By the time they arrived at Ben’s place, he was more sober than not, but Rey still insisted on helping him up the stairs to the bedroom. Ben wasn’t making it easy, however.

“Ben, if you hold me any tighter we’re going to fall back down the stairs,” she said, pushing at the arm clamped hard around her waist.

“I need to hold you to believe that you’re really here.” He squeezed her against his side for emphasis. “And to make sure you can’t escape again.”

“What you need to do is lie down,” she said sternly, but his blatant desire for her company made her giddy. “I really don’t deserve him.”

“I’m fine,” he countered, wobbling a few steps from the landing.

“Right, you’re totally steady,” Rey deadpanned. “Let’s just get to the bedroom and—”

He made a frustrated sound. “Rey, you really don’t have to prove anything to me.”

“I disagree.”

“I believe you about the note.”

“I need you to see it,” she mumbled stubbornly.

They made it to the top of the stairs—finally—but Ben didn’t loosen his hold. “Alright, then show me.”

Moving awkwardly together, they didn’t speak again until Rey positioned them in front of his desk. “See?”

He reached down with his free hand and held the brief note up to read. “The hearts were a nice touch,” he teased after a minute.

Rey stared up at him, carefully watching his expression. “Do you believe that I wasn’t leaving you again now?

“I believed you at the bar,” he smiled, turning into her body.

She hugged him tightly, resting her chin on his generous pectorals without breaking eye contact. “I’m sorry,” she said simply. “About everything.”

“I know.”

“Thank you for waiting for me,” she murmured. “I panicked when you asked me to marry you two months ago, but I don’t feel that way anymore.”

“You don’t?”

“Well, I’m still a little worried that you’ll eventually discover you hate everything about me and divorce me and banish me to a life of loveless solitude, but only like”—she held her index finger and thumb slightly apart—“this much.”

“Rey,” he rumbled, “you’re it for me. I knew the moment I met you that I wanted to marry you.”

Tears gathered in her light eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he grinned, dimples popping. “I understand what it’s like to feel inadequate, to feel rejected, you know how it was for a time with my family, but I promise I’ll never make you feel that way. You’re my person and I love—”

Rey practically exploded at his words, climbing him like the tree of a man he was, her arms and legs wrapping tightly around his neck and waist. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” she said like a litany, pressing soft kisses over every inch of his face. “I love you so much, Ben Solo!”

He laughed joyously, easily taking her weight. “I love you too, Rey Niima.”

She quieted then, shyly biting her bottom lip. “I think Rey Solo has a better ring to it, don’t you?”

She would never forget the look he gave her, so intensely loving and hopeful. “Absolutely.”

“Can we have a long engagement, though?”

“Whatever you want.”

“And maybe… we should try couples therapy?” Rey said, recalling Poe’s suggestion. She just hoped Ben didn’t take her query the wrong way. “Just to start off on the right foot now that we’re together again,” she added quickly.

But she needn’t have worried. “My parents have a great couples therapist, I’ll ask them for a referral.” Ben looked thoughtful. “I want to share everything with you, Rey, so I think that’s a great idea.”

She kissed him again soundly. “I love you!”

He chuckled under her lips, then moaned as she ground her pelvis against his. “Rey, I only have so much control where you’re concerned,” he warned.

“Sorry, I know you’re still a little drunk,” she said sheepishly. “I just…”

“Drunk? Hell, I’m almost dead sober now thanks to your timely rescue.” He barked out a laugh when she didn’t look convinced. “I’m not drunk. What I am is about ten seconds away from tearing your clothes off, though.”

“Well if that’s the case,” she purred, “I must confess that out of control Ben Solo is my favorite brand of man.”

He exhaled harshly. “Do you want it sweet and slow or hot and fast?”

“You decide, I just want you.”

Ben’s smile was so tender that every worry Rey still had suddenly floated away. “I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you, so I’m glad you feel the same way.”

Then he walked her to the bed and proceeded to remove every article of clothing between them, pressing sweet kisses to each of her body parts as they were revealed. He was slow and methodical, stirring her up with his hands and mouth until she was whining and begging for more.

“Ben, please!” Her voice cracked as he inserted a third finger into her opening and curled them upwards.

His eyes locked with hers from between her legs, shining with determination. Sucking her clit between his plush lips, he deftly manipulated her pleasure center, slowing down just before she was about to come, then speeding up again to make the build up to climax last as long as possible. When she finally found release, in what seemed like an eternity later, Rey screamed so loudly the neighbors at the end of the block probably heard her.

But she didn’t care; the orgasm rolling through her was so intense she was nearly incoherent with need. Ben’s name was the only word she could form for at least ten minutes after, but he was patient with her, allowing her to come down at her own pace before making love to her fully. And she loved him all the more for the respect he showed her body.

“Ben?” she said when she was ready for more.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I want to make love now.”

He pushed her loose sable hair away from her face. “I’m yours,” he said solemnly.

“Damn right you are,” she said heatedly, pushing him onto his back and rolling on top of him.

Rey felt powerful in this position, she always had, but being with Ben like this also spoke to her femininity. Despite her dominance in the moment, he could easily control her if he wanted to. But his huge hands, which spanned her entire waist, were incredibly gentle, as if afraid she’d break if he was too rough with her. It was a heady experience to be both the aggressor and the one being cared for.

Needing to be one with him, Rey sat up for better leverage. His arousal swelled under her, ready and willing to give her the pleasure she sought. Holding his dark gaze, she gently rocked against him, lining his penis up with her entrance.

“Rey,” he said reverently, palming her upper thighs as his tip parted her creamy folds. “Fuck, you feel so good.”

“And we haven’t even gotten started yet,” she said coyly, so soaked from her recent orgasm that when she lightly bore down on his length the rest of his cock easily slid inside her to the hilt.

They exchanged gasps, clutching at each other for stability. Rey rested her hands on his broad chest, playing with his nipples as he skated long fingers across her sensitive skin to cup her behind. Kneading her curves, he helped set the rhythm of their lovemaking, lifting his hips every time she pressed down to drive his cock as deep into her pussy as it would go.

Rey rose over him again and again, clenching and releasing her inner muscles in time with his strokes. It was the closest she had ever been to another person, and not just because she was riding him bareback. They were communicating the love they held for each other with their bodies, moving in perfect unison, giving and taking in equal measure. It was the most beautiful expression of love…

“Oh!” Rey moaned as Ben released one butt cheek to circle her throbbing clit. She was still hypersensitive from earlier, so even the slightest pressure felt like too much. “Ben, wait, I’m—ah!”

“Fuck, I’m going to—I thought I could last longer, I’m sorry—I don’t want to come without you though.” He flicked her bean faster, pounded into her harder. “Are you close? Rey, I—oh, fuck!”

She dipped her head to his chest to attack his nipples, sucking and licking the hard nubs like he’d done to hers so many times before. She’d never kissed him like this before, but judging by the sudden uneven thrashing of his hips, he liked it a whole lot.

“Okay?” she murmured knowingly.

“Don’t stop!”

Smiling, she took over rubbing her nub while both his hands squeezed her ass. The more she nibbled on his nipples, the more frantic he became. It was pure bliss, watching him lose total control like this. He was desperate to have her, fucking her so thoroughly that she knew they’d both be sore in the morning.

“Rey!”

“I’m here, baby, what do you need?”

“Kiss me!”

She was happy to oblige. Lowering her body until her chest was crushed against his, she sank her hands into his thick hair and pulled his mouth under hers. Technique was out the window at this point, so Rey just dedicated herself to devouring him with her lips, her hands, her pussy…

“Ah! Mmm! Yes!” Ben sounded like he might die trying to get close enough to her, dragging her on and off his dick so fast that the resulting friction on her clit from where their bodies were melded together was just the push she needed to go over the edge with him.

“Ben, I’m coming,” she yelped, still pressing sloppy kisses on his mouth. “You can let go, you can come. Fill me up!”

He shouted her name harshly before she had even finished talking, back arching off the bed and snapping his hips to hers one final time. “Rey!”

Piggybacking off the incandescent wave of pleasure he was experiencing, she happily sailed over the peak with him. Afterwards, exhausted but more fulfilled than she could have ever imagined being, Rey felt smug that it was Ben who needed time to recover this round.

“I’ve got you, baby,” she said, hugging him comfortingly as he groaned beneath her.

When he was finally able to manage full sentences, he rasped, “Just so you know, I’m never letting you out of this bed again.”

“Maybe… I should move in then?” she said bravely, holding her breath. Never being parted from him again sounded like heaven.

His eyes widened. “Really?”

“To kick off our engagement, I mean.”

“Rey…”

“It’s not a bad idea right?”

“No,” he smiled, using his wide wingspan to reach into the top drawer of his nightside without dislodging her. He retrieved a small, black box and presented it to her. “Falling into my bed is the best idea you’ve ever had.”

Rey stared as he revealed the gorgeous white gold ring she’d refused two months ago. The center diamond was large and flawless, with four bands of amethyst stones surrounding it to create a star shape. On the inside of the band, “You’re not alone” was inscribed in swooping cursive writing. The ring was perfect. It was so them.

Without reservation, she held out her left hand and allowed Ben to slide the ring onto her finger. “Thank you,” he said, kissing her hand before wrapping her up in a tight embrace.

“Thank you,” she returned, tears long held finally escaping restraint.

Rey closed her eyes, content that the next phase of her life was starting. She couldn’t wait to fall asleep next to him, to wake up with him, to grow old by his side.

She couldn’t wait to stay.

-FIN-

——————

Thoughts (Blah)

——————

A/N: I’ve also been listening to 1989 (Taylor’s Version) and All You Had To Do Was Stay definitely influenced this fic too haha hope y’all enjoyed it! Now back to finishing my Assassin!Rey/Senator!Ben fic 😅

——————

Bonus Scene!

——————

Boston, MA Sunday, November 2

——————

Rose: So… 👀

Rey: Yes

Rose: Yes, what?

Rey: Yes, we took loads more nudes and tbh I should probably get a better app for security purposes because they are filthy 🍆🍑💦

Rose: STOP OMG TMI 😵

Rose: Let’s be serious for a sec

Rose: Are you and Bennie back together?????? Like for real

Rey: Ben says “you can’t keep adding “ie” to everyone’s names and not expect retribution”

Rose: What does that even mean

Rose: I’m not scared of that simp!

Rose: Also answer my question 😤

Rey: So you can report back to those gossips Finn and Poe?

Rose: Maybe

Rose: Tell meeeee

Rose: Reyyyy, my bff, my love, light of my life

Rey: Stop or Armie is gonna get jealous

Rose: REY

Rey: Well…

Rose: Omg!

Rey: We might be engaged, I might be moving in, we may be about to fuck again

Rose: Awwwww! ❤️❤️❤️

Rose: Wait ugh you just had to ruin it

Rose: But aww! Are you happy?

Rey: Yeah 😊

Rose: Are you about to get plowed like right now or can we chat some more?

Rey: I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Rosie 😛 Give Armie my love!

Rose: Okie, I get it, the “ie” is silly. JOKE’S ON YOU I LIKE SILLY

Rey: Wouldn’t have you any other way. Goodnight 😘

Rose: Goodnight! Tell Bennie I said to take it easy on you 😆

Rey: No, I don’t think I will 🍆🍆🍆

Rose: TMI

Rose: But yeah same over here 🍆🍆🍆

Rey: 🙌

#reylo #kylo ren #ben solo #reylo fanfic #reylo fic #my fanfiction #sushigirlali

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epickiya722 · 1 year

Note

HI KIYA HOPE YOURE DOING WELL

hopping in here to procrastinate on my studying lol

for the fandom: Buddy Daddies

for the ship: KiriTodo (Kirishima x Todoroki)

I'M DOING GOOD!!! I HOPE YOU ARE TOO, SUNSHINE!!

BUDDY DADDIES

Favorite character: You know what, I gotta give Anna Hanyu this one. She's such a sweet woman. She's a delight!

Least Favorite character: I would fight Shigeki.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Okay, I don't have 5 ships, but I do like Rei/Kazuki as well as Kazuki/Yuzuko.

Character I find most attractive: I'm gonna give this one to Kazuki here. I find Rei attractive, but my love for Haru Kato, gives Kazuki extra points since he reminds me of Haru.

Character I would marry: I'd marry Anna. Again, she is such a delight! A beautiful woman!

Character I would be best friends with: I would love to be with Rei, too.

A random thought: Karin is such a great character with such a small appearance. The writers could have wrote her to be a bad guy but instead, turns out she was a good person who gave Kazuki that pep talk he needed.

An unpopular opinion: Buddy Daddies feels more like Millionaire Detective than Spy x Family to me. The vibes are similar, especially between the two main leads of each show.

My Canon OTP: Again, I love Kazuki and Yuzuko. You can tell it was a loving marriage before the tragedy because how Kazuki is after the events. And Yuzuko seemed like a kind woman.

My Non-canon OTP: You know I gotta give this to Rei/Kazuki.

Most Badass Character: I can't choose between either or, so this goes to both Rei and Kazuki.

Most Epic Villain: Shigeki is so despicable.

Pairing I am not a fan of: I haven't seen any pairings I'm not fond of yet... but I don't like the idea of Miri with any adults.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Kinda don't have one here.

Favourite Friendship: Miri and the other kids were so adorable in the zoo episode!

Character I most identify with: Anna, because I can't play piano! 😆

Character I wish I could be: Miri, she's so fun! And I wouldn't mind being raised by Rei and Kazuki.

KIRITODO

When I started shipping them: Oooh, it feels like recently, but it's longer than that.

My thoughts: It's such an underrated neat ship. They're so opposite of each other, but I say it works.

What makes me happy about them: For one, I adore both characters. I don't think I wouldn't like this ship if I didn't like either character. And I like they, even though there aren't a lot of moments, are friends. It was so nice seeing Kirishima call Todoroki manly in that final episode of season 6.

What makes me sad about them: That there isn't a lot of moments with them.

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: I haven't read a lot of fics with KiriTodo to see anything I don't like.

Things I look for in fanfic: Again, I haven't read a lot of KiriTodo fics, so I'm still in that exploring era. Just the ship itself is what I look for, I don't have an exact dynamic I'm looking for.

My wishlist: Just more scenes with them. I think a scene where Kirishima talks to Todoroki about his fight against Tetsutetsu during the Joint Training Arc would have been neat.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: For Kirishima, I'm saying Ashido. They're just too cute, damn it. For Todoroki, I like TodoSero and I wouldn't mind TodoMomo.

My happily ever after for them: Just more bonding for those two. 😭❤🤍

FANDOM ASKS

#kiya answers #buddy daddies #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #kiritodo #kirishima eijirou #todoroki shoto

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musicfeedsmysoul12 · 1 year

Text

Random thought time:

-I don’t typically like fics where anyone other then Izuku is gender bent because I’m my experience it becomes this weird sort of… bleh mess that doesn’t stay true to the characters.

For example: fics where Todoroki is turned female give me weird vibes a lot (not all but some) because they make her less Shouto and more ‘ice Queen girlfriend who is emotionally intelligent and super smart’ when in reality Shouto is an emotionally dense wall. Not dumb (defiantly not as often shown in fanfic) but he’s not that smart about emotional or social stuff. By removing that you remove a huge part of his character. And sure different socialization but let’s be real: I can still see Endevaour moulding Fem!Shouto into his successor especially if Rei can’t have more kids. (Headcanon but yeah) so her experiences are mostly the same.

Other examples include just… they like make the characters so off in my head it’s hard to read. Like I read a Fem Kirishima where she was all long hair and giggles and I’m like: Fem!Kiri is the biggest ducking himbo in the world who is jacked as fuck and has her short spiky hair still. That’s Kirishima.

- I’m still salty about the ‘this character is bisexual with a harem but only has the opposite gender in the harem’ shit.

- I find myself not giving a fuck about Tsu more and more but I’m reminding myself it’s cause of fanfics and that I need to research shit to get back to liking her. I still don’t like Izu/Ocha/Tsu though and never will.

- I have come to the conclusion I will refuse to make Iida, All Might or Izuku a bad person in fics because they get enough shit and I love them.

- I really want to write a story with an older sister for Izuku who ends up raising him cause I’m giggling over the idea.

- I hate time travel in the sense of ‘we can go back in time but cannot interact with anyone due to paradox’. I like it as in ‘the world ended so fuck it. Let’s go back and try again’.

- I find myself wishing I’d not had Inko be a bad person in POTSOD, but I don’t fully mind cause I like writing Dadzawa.

- I sometimes wish to try and write out Raising Kacchan but fuuuuuuck I don’t wanna deal with Stan’s finding it and then my other shit.

- I am very annoyed each time I see a tiktok whining about genderbends. Yes, some suck. Others though are fucking amazing as they observe shit.

-I had Shinsou/Jirou ONCE and now my brain keeps poking it with a stick.

- I refuse to write ShinKami anymore because I can’t stop just seeing smaller EraserMic and it feels so cheap to do it because fan authors literally make it the whole thing that it’s the second coming and fuuuuuck it’s boring.

- Ms Joke’s flirting should be treated like how Mineta flirts as Aizawa does not seem to be amused by it, and his reaction to her showing up is oh shit, not ‘oh yes!’

- I wanna write a one sided crush for Aphrodite Rising that ends very badly as in scorched earth who isn’t someone anyone expects because I wanna make it hurt and really examine how toxic views on things can affect anyone and sometimes you don’t realize how toxic they are until it’s staring you in the face.

- Any fic that has any character other then Izuku be Quirkless (Uraraka, Shout, Bakugou and so on) should be avoided in my mind because half the time it’s a thin excuse to bash Izuku and the other it’s just dumb. Write him getting into the hero course!!

- I still believe the best character arc for Bakugou is for him to never rise about the mid rankings as this shows he will accept it’s not a competition and that heroics should be about saving people not beating them.

- I would have 90% less of an issue with Bakuhou is it wasn’t for the idea that Izuku HAS to be his friend after.

- I have ranted about the above before.

- … I have in fact read some B@kuDe€u fics that weren’t bad, but like that’s a rare fucking find that doesn’t have Izuku be a freaking doormat that just smiles and nods at the shit that Bakugou pulls.

- I got called a hypocrite a while back on POTSOD and I think it was about Bakugou and you know what? Fuck it. Fine, call me that. I’ll admit it. Will anyone else admit they’re one to for stabbing the fuck out of him while screaming about Endevaour?

- speaking on that the more I think about it the more I’m like: I might… kind… maybe… sorta… don’t mind his redemption arc because while I firmly think the message you must always forgive your abuser is a shitty one I do know that at least he is trying. I just think it’s a bit to little to late but he acknowledges that at least in some cases.

- someone said they hate Magne because people only like her as she’s trans and they ignore Toger and stuff. They were also giving off mad homophobic and transphobic vibes with their shit though but… fucking hell they had a point and I hate it. Magne’s character is so flat that… yeah. That’s a fucking point for a lot of her love. (Not that it’s wrong or anything but where is the Tiger love?)

- I plan on redemption arcs for Toga in a few fics but I’ll be blunt they are not what people normally expect.

- I love asshole Dabi but I do enjoy my ‘he’s a good brother’ fics it’s just asshole Dabi is more fun to write. Maybe I’ll try one day to write it but until then… yeah.

- I’ve warmed up to TodoDeku and UraDeku more but I still stand by the idea that Iida often gets forgotten and he should be around way more. I see to many fics replace him with Todoroki and it kind of made me salty about the platonic friendship between Todo and Izuku. Why are you replacing Iida?!

- JiroMomo has reached a similar state as UraTsu to me: I find it stale because it’s often used in fics as a background pairing and sure they’re friends but there’s the ‘get the girls out of the way’ vibe mixed with ‘yeah they’re friends but… can I personally see chemistry!?’

- it is after midnight and I think my laundry is done after my giant ass purge/clean today so good night. Send me asks about this shit to if you want

#bnha #bnha au #yeah send asks tomorrow #or today #I wanna see what people think of my half asleep rant

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onewomancitadel · 11 months

Text

Also in my adventures I was lurking Reylo Twitter and then reading Reylo fics and I hated everything. I can't tell if the former were a platform issue and the latter just because it's such a humongous ship a lot of it is going to attract those usual archetypes (Dark Fuck Prince, Rey of Sunshine, gender normative dynamics) which irritate the shit out of me. I know, jog on, it's just particularly annoying when it's the fanon and the whole point of fanfic is the charactersssssssss.

Also darkfic for them is so hilariously improper... Kylo Ren couldn't dirty talk his way into Rey's pants even if he really, really wanted it. It's just like, yeah I get this is badman fantasy, but have you considered how much the canon notion of it makes me laugh

It's a large enough fandom I'm not talking particular shit about anybody and if you're really really really attached to badman fantasy and Reylo fanon you do you. No one is stopping you; not even canon, apparently.

#being a cyberbully #reylo for tagblocking #fanon my nemesis

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estellamiraiauthor · 1 year

Text

The Stars May Rise and Fall: The Annotated Re-read (Chapter 23)

Well this one was mostly about a really depressingly heavy conversation.

As always, spoilers under the cut!

So, the two-month jump in time here, from August to October. This was something that took me a long time to decide to do. I tried many times to start a chapter that would pick up right where the last left off, but it was just a situation where nothing much HAPPENED for a couple of in-universe months.

I could have added more fluff here, because the slow development of the relationship is really the only change that IS occurring, but again, I was trying to get a major publisher to buy this so I had to keep it under a certain word count and make sure the plot wasn’t TOO slow. So instead I went with a little domestic montage to show the comfortable little routine they have, and how Teru is taking care of things like cooking and washing wigs while Rei takes care of him by writing and producing the album. I also used this scene to show how Chizuru fits into that dynamic, doing laundry and taking care of Rei’s income from his more mainstream music.

We also get an argument between Rei and Chizuru. I sort of wish I’d gone into this more, but essentially I think she’s annoyed that Rei won’t take better care of himself and thereby sort of creates more work for her. It’s partly genuine concern for him but partly purely selfish—but not really in a bad way. As she’ll tell Teru later in the chapter, she’s ready to move on, but Rei makes it hard by refusing to move on or even accept his situation in a lot of ways. But Chizuru deserves to be able to move on, even if Rei can’t.

THAT SAID, she’s sort of going after the wrong thing here, and I wish I’d made that a little clearer. I think Chizuru sort of has this idea that, in general, DOING something is better than working with the status quo, and so if any new treatment or anything is suggested, she wishes Rei would try it… while I think Rei is both traumatized enough by hospitals that he doesn’t want to do anything unless it’s absolutely necessary or guaranteed to help, and also afraid that changing anything might actually result in things getting worse. (This is VERY much one of those areas where Rei is just like me… I really don’t like the idea of doing ANY elective medical procedure or taking medicine that’s not life-saving… like, I’ve never been on the Pill, and I won’t even consider something like LASIK because of the tiny, tiny risk, so obviously anything more serious like the options mentioned here would be an obvious HELL NO from me.)

ANYWAY. Chizuru is concerned that Rei doesn’t really take his pain medication a lot of the time, but I think she’s partly being ignorant. I did a lot of research on chronic pain, and especially on traumatic brachial plexus injuries (which you can Google if you want the depressing details) and in a lot of cases medication doesn’t really work (which Teru sort of acknowledges internally here). And on top of not actually eliminating the pain, you can of course become addicted, and I also think Rei just prefers to have his mind completely clear, to not interfere with his creativity. So while SOME of the things he does are definitely more than a little self-destructive, not taking very strong prescription painkillers that don’t actually work all that well is not actually a terrible choice.

Anyway, Rei makes Chizuru carry their stuff “because she’s so worried about him”… their relationship is super interesting to me and I wish I’d need able to go into it in more detail! Feel free to explore in fanfic etc. ;)

The next important scene is during the break at rehearsal, when Teru invites Rei to have lunch with the band, but of course he refuses, so Teru goes to buy him something to eat and Seika, the only one who can see what’s going on here, tells him that he really does need to tell Minori, even though he shouldn’t have to come out on anyone’s timeline but his own, because his relationship IS affecting the band at this point.

Seika says “sleeping with”—which is the norm to HIM, an allosexual gay man. But Teru and Rei ARENT having sex, and I really wish I’d made the ace-spectrum stuff more clear because some reviewers have seemed to think that it’s because of Rei’s disability and I think it’s not? It’s self esteem, partly, which in Rei’s case stems from disability, but also just that… they’re fine at this point with not doing any more than what they are? Some people like to take it slow and that’s ok!

Still, the people who were kind of expecting a steamy romance novel probably collectively lose their shit here. I’m really sorry I called it romance….

Anyway! There’s a little more arguing over Saki’s song and then, after Rei goes to sleep, Teru gets a call from Chizuru. I think at this point, the argument in the morning has kind of reminded her that she is ready to stop being Rei’s platonic life partner or whatever… but she still worries about him living off “alcohol and painkillers and no dinner”. I think she just wants Teru to take over so she doesn’t HAVE to worry, because she does want to know that Rei’s ok. She just doesn’t want to be throne in charge of keeping him that way.

So she asks Teru to meet her, and basically dumps all of Rei’s medical records on him. There’s a lot going on in this scene, and a lot of it kind of hinges on the limitations of modern medicine, which of course harkens back to all of those ignorant “This horribly disfigured character had plastic surgery and now looks completely normal” fanfics. I knew that one of the questions my readers would have was why Rei wouldn’t at least have done as much as he could to try to restore his appearance, and the short answer, provided here by Chizuru, is that really anything less than perfect wouldn’t have been good enough for him. He still wouldn’t look “normal”, so to him there’s no point in being LESS disfigured, unless “less” is “not at all”. Chizuru understands this, I think, but she doesn’t agree with it.

She also offhandedly says that Rei could “hire a chauffeur if he wanted to”, which I think shows that she DOESN’T really understand all of the psychological damage that the accident did. It frustrates her that because SHE has been able to move on after also losing a boyfriend that night, she thinks that Rei should also be able to “get over” certain things… again, even though she probably understands academically at least that it’s not that easy.

The last thing she mentions here as something Rei could do but won’t is amputating his paralyzed arm. This is something that I actually considered for the last couple of chapters, when they meet again after four years apart, but the reason I decided against it is because, again, it isn’t really guaranteed to actually help anything. The pain from that particular injury is essentially phantom pain. The nerves have basically been completely severed, so the pain comes from signals being sent and nothing coming back, so the brain says HOLY FUCK SOMETHING’S REALLY WRONG. Amputating the limb wouldn’t fix those nerves or the phantom pain, so the best it could do is, as Chizuru says, maybe alleviate some neck pain by eliminating dead weight. But I don’t think Rei would see that as a good enough trade-off to losing his arm (and losing any hope of some miracle treatment down the line, which is extremely unlikely, but I do think he has that stubborn little bit of optimism about him as well).

All of that is a very, very short passage in the book, but I thought it was really important to establish both that yes, there were things that Rei COULD do but simply chose not to, but also that there were reasons why, to him, those weren’t good options.

After this, Chizuru talks about her own past. She also lost a boyfriend, Aeternum’s bassist Taka, in the accident, and sort of ended up with Rei as a sort of antagonistic life partner because they were both the only survivors. In Chizuru’s case, she wasn’t even in the car, but went up to Sendai with Taka’s mother and ended up staying. She says that the four who died all had families who came for them, but that no one came for Rei.

I didn’t really get to go into it at all, but I have a whole backstory for Rei’s family. He grew up in a farming family (which in Japan does NOT mean poor; if you own enough land to farm you’re local royalty), but was the youngest of MANY brothers and while I wouldn’t call Rei “effeminate” necessarily he was more into music and art than physical labor. Since his family had other heirs who were more aligned with what they thought a male child “should” be, he pretty much lost contact with them when he moved to Tokyo on his own at 16. He does HAVE living relatives, but no one who would’ve been contactable at the time.

I also mentioned specifically here that he would’ve been in the hospital for over a year, which I think is important to establish both his extreme dislike of hospitals and how long it’s taken him to re-adjust to “normal” life.

Japanese hospitals treat patients like prisoners and I wouldn’t wish them on anyone.

ANYWAY. There’s a lot packed into this scene I guess, and I’m not sure I did the best job of conveying it all to readers who might not already have the background. I’m really just reminded of how much I love Rei and how writing him is always one giant breath of catharsis.

#The stars may rise and fall #annotated #phantom retelling #oc love #i hate myself for loving these characters so much

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kaleidodreams · 4 months

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2023 Fanfic in Review

It's time for the traditional year-end fanflc writing questionnaire! If you want to hear more of my thoughts on these stories, you can also check out these individual self-reviews.

List of fics completed this year

Yuri!!! On Ice Inconvenient Crush #LionCub Denial

Sailor Moon Brushwork False Pretenses

2. Number of words written: 59,103 actually posted, but the number would be bigger if you count unpublished stuff. Still, the list is rather small this year… I've mostly been focusing on Inconvenient Crush.

3. Your most popular fic: Denial, with 7 comments and 85 kudos.

4. Your personal fav: Eh, to be honest, I don't really love any of the fics I posted this year… I guess Inconvenient Crush?

5. Your fav scene: Either the part where Mila finds out about Yuri's "friends with benefits" relationship with Otabek in Denial or the scene where JJ invites Otabek to his friend's house party in Inconvenient Crush. I just really like the dialogue in those two scenes.

6. A fic or scene that challenged you: Denial was pretty tough to write. To be honest, I'm still not entirely happy with how it turned out, and I'm annoyed that I ended up having to cut out one of the parts I really liked. (Don't get me wrong. It was the right choice to make and I did save it in case I ever find a spot in another fic where it might work, but still…) Also, Brushwork was the first time I posted a solely f/f sex scene. I think I pulled it off pretty well, but it was definitely something new and different for me!

7. A line of writing you’re proud of: Oh, I don't know… Nothing has really stuck out to me. This exchange between Rei and Minako in False Pretenses is pretty funny?

"Stunning!" Minako declared when Rei turned back around for a final once-over. "You're gonna knock Yuuichirou's pants off!"

Rei rolled her eyes at yet another one of Minako's malapropisms. "Socks. The saying is 'knock his socks off'."

"Now what kind of sense does that make? I'd much rather knock a guy's pants off, if you catch my drift…"

8. A comment that touched you: All of them!

9. Something that inspired your writing: I can't really think of anything in particular, to be honest. I guess #LionCub was kinda inspired by an article I had read concerning parents who use their children for social media clout?

10. Your proudest accomplishment: Sailor Moon Rare Pair Week again, I guess?

11. Do you have any writing goals for next year?: I'd like to finish Inconvenient Crush, and I'm currently working on two other untitled fics. One of them is an Otayuri fic of YOI Rare Pair Week (which basically finished and will be posted next week) and the other is a Chibi-Usa/Helios fic for the Sailor Moon version I host in March. Beyond that… I've been starting to feel a little burned out lately, so I may take another long break once I finish IC. (I won't call it a retirement, 'cause that didn't exactly stick the last time…) I don't know. We'll see!

#fanfiction #yuri!!! on ice fanfiction #sailor moon fanfiction #yuri!!! on ice #sailor moon

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sassy-assassin · 9 months

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9 5 people you'd like to know better

My lovely mutual (@reikurusu) tagged me in this and it seemed a fun way to get to know each other better! I kept it at 5 people because I don't know who else to tag since I haven't been back on tumblr for very long yet and am still getting reacquainted with everything/everyone on here.

Last song: Love From The Other Side by Fall Out Boy. I just saw them in concert and this song has been stuck in my head day and night. I like it a lot, it's super catchy! Plus, the line "I'd never go, I just want to be invited" is such a banging introvert lyric.

Currently watching: I recently started watching the show From with my family, we're only on the first season still. It's very dramatic and dark, and we all like to try to guess what is really going on. We'll see how it plays out though, my sister is afraid it might go the way of Lost and get too convoluted and just overall too much. Some of the characters are kind of annoying me already, but I am mainly just watching it when my family is watching it so I'll probably stick with it as long as they are watching it.

On my own, I am watching Why Raeliana Ended Up at the Duke's Mansion and My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Lv999 on Crunchyroll, while also just randomly rewatching episodes of Moriarty the Patriot (mainly The Two Detectives Act 1 & 2 because I love watching Sherlock and William work together).

Currently reading: Uh I guess, the manga for Moriarty the Patriot since I just finished reading volume 12. I started reading the manga after I finished the anime and didn't realize at first that the English translation isn't yet caught up to where the anime ends with The Final Problem, so now I am impatiently waiting for the next few volumes that come out later in the year.

Of actual book books (I know comics/manga are real books too but it has been so long since I read an actual text-only book that wasn't for school that it is worthy of distinction here), I just finished reading A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske. It had exactly the right mix of intriguing plot and romance that I crave (I can't read much stuff with just one or the other).

Also, if we are talking currently reading then of course I am also reading a stupid amount of fanfics all at once. I am currently rereading floriography by ashrivaille because Sherlock and William solving murders together is my current favorite thing. I ship them so much it's ridiculous (also Mycroft and Albert but that's a whole other thing). I honestly have a difficult time finding actual books to read that aren't fanfiction anymore because I am so used to getting exactly what I want from a story in fanfics due to filters (praise ao3's tagging system) and already knowing the world/characters. I find it difficult to get invested in other books and often find them kind of boring, or like flat? Could just be also because without the specific tags/tropes that are used to label fics, it is harder for me to find books I would be interested in since I'm relying only on plot summary.

Current obsession: Hmm I wonder....?? Yeah, no it's pretty obvious my current obession is Moriarty the Patriot since over half of the media I'm consuming is related to it lol. It's just so satisfying watching William set up these intricate crimes/plots and Sherlock deducing the hell out of them (and also to see evil nobles get what's coming to them).

My sister showed me this scale once on Pinterest where someone had placed character pairs from "be gay do crime" to "be gay and solve crime" and Sherlock and William were in the middle lol. Whatever genre that scale is seems to be my BRAND since the "solve crime" end was Kato and Kambe from Millionaire Detective (one of my fav animes), and while I don't remember what the one originally on the "do crime" side was I feel that Rei and Kazuki from Buddy Daddies fits well there (another of my fav animes).

Wow, this got so long lol. Gonna tag some people I think it would be cool to know more about, but no pressure! Feel free to ignore it if you want :)

@demonicallysassy @hazeltea-returns-to-this-site @16ruedelaverrerie @yoddel @lillylakes

#tag game #get to know me #my post

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a-walking-fandom-reference · 3 years

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every time a supernatural fanfic has dean watch sports i’m like WHAT THE HELL WHO IS THIS PERSON?!? dean knows 0 about sports the man doesn’t know a sport

#i legit don’t think a sport has played in a spn episode #rey reads fanfic and is annoying about it

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snvws · 2 years

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𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐥𝐲, anakin [star wars]

gif credit.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞. ➯ hi, sweethearts! this lil fanfic was made at unreasonable hours in the morning… so, i apologize if this sucks! of course, for my first fanfic back, i had to write about my love, ani …♡ anyways, pls pls pls reblog, share + like! it’d mean the world to me. thank u so much for reading & enjoying -- love u! ‹3

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. ➯ 18+ MDNI! smut. in love!anakin. innocent!reader. fluff! fingering. praise kink. pet names. anakin is a lil tease, blink and you’ll miss it. no use of [y/n]. any grammatical mistakes are my own -- in advance, i sincerely apologize.

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲. ➯ you awake early in the morning, admiring your sleeping boyfriend’s state, before he wakes up himself and admires you back… in more ways than one.

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭(𝐬). ➯ requested! also, request’s are open and you can send in a request right here.

𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. ➯ the song that helped me write this lil fanfic is ‘happiness is a butterfly’ by lana del rey.

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬). ➯ anakin skywalker [star wars] x reader (f).

masterlist.

rules.

ׅ ࣪𓏲ּ ֶָ ♡ you stared at your sleeping boyfriend, who looked perfectly peaceful and handsome while sleeping, making you smile down at him. today was a fresh, new day. the sun was just starting to peak inside your shared rooms, shining it’s way over your boyfriend’s beautiful features.

with a quiet sigh, you lightly traced your fingers down the bridge of anakin’s nose, making him scrunch his nose up in his slumber. you had to bite your lip from giggling, moving your fingers across his soft, pink lips – tracing them almost in a trance like state of mind.

you were sitting up on your stomach, one hand holding up your head as you looked down at anakin lovingly, the other hand still lightly tracing his face as sunlight continued to break through the slightly closed curtains. anakin let out a tired groan, before stretching his body out and hearing his joints pop, causing him to groan louder.

you immediately snatched your hand back from touching his face, afraid he might snap at you this early in the morning. “don’t stop now,” anakin mumbled, eyes still closed, though he turned his head towards you more. you could only smile, before bringing your hand back to his face, softly tracing his chin and smiling when he sighed peacefully, his eyes still closed and a sleepy smile had spread across his gorgeous face.

“when did you wake up?” anakin questioned lowly, his voice deep and rough like gravel. gosh, you loved his sleeping voice. “oh,” you whispered. “just a few minutes ago,” you answered.

anakin hummed, before turning over to face you, his eyes finally peaking open, only to let out an annoyed moan at the sun. “it’s too early, ‘m not ready to get up yet,” anakin complained, though he had a smile stretched out across his face. his crystal blue eyes found yours, staring up at you as you stared down at him, happily. “oh? perhaps you’ll never be ready to get up,” you sighed, dramatically.

“hmm, what a shame that’d be,” anakin mumbled, before leaning over and wrapping a fleshed arm around you, leaning up to place kisses along your exposed throat. “anakin!” you huffed, though you couldn’t control your head moving to the side to give him more access.

the young jedi knight only chuckled at you, before biting down on your sensitive sweet spot, causing you to let out a tiny whimper in need. anakin’s hand that was wrapped around your waist, moved down slightly to hike up your exposed leg, causing some air to hit your bare private parts, resulting in you to breathe in deeply through your nose. you weren’t expecting that, but you weren’t complaining either.

half of the duvet was off of you, making your lower half cold, but with anakin and his trailing fingers… you could feel yourself grow warm. “anakin…” you mumbled. “we shouldn’t, not now at least.”

“mmm, why not?” anakin asked, his fingers moving between your warmed thighs, feeling the softness there and reaching upwards to touch your most intimate place. “oh, stars…” you whispered, leaning down so you were on your side now, looking up at anakin as he rose up slightly, his other hand going under his chin to hold his upper body up.

anakin looked down at you with lustful eyes, his hair a curly mess, his skin flawless and smooth, and most off all – his nakedness underneath the duvet, his chest the only thing that was showing. “ani…” you said, softly – feeling anakin’s hand lightly brush over your clit, causing you to gasp openly, making the jedi knight smile.

“you’re so, so beautiful my love,” anakin said, his voice husky, while his long fingers collected some of your juices, before taking his hand away and making you whine in need. anakin then stuck his fingers inside his mouth, tasting all you had to give. you watched him with wide, doe like eyes, entranced by your lovers actions.

“care i touch you again, sweetheart?” anakin asked, a smirk present on his handsome face. you could only nod dumbly, “y-yes, please…!” anakin brought his hand back down to your soaking cunt, placing his entire hand over your warm heat, before giving it a light tap, causing you to curse underneath your breath.

“what was that?” anakin wondered aloud, leaning down to press his mouth back to your jawline, trailing wet kisses there, while he stuck two fingers into your wet, twitching hole. “oouhhh!” you gasped, bucking into his hand like a needy little whore.

“that’s right, baby,” anakin purred, tucking on your ear lobe with his perfect teeth as he finger fucked you relentlessly. anakin’s thumb then moved to pleasure your clit once more, his other fingers still inside of you and pumping in and out, vigorously. “k-kiss me, ani… please, kiss me,” you begged.

anakin complied with your request, bringing his mouth to yours, kissing you heatedly, your tongues slashing together as one, tasting one another. anakin could only groan while you moaned like a pathetic whore, bucking up into his hand so deliciously.

“i love you,” he rasped, his mouth still pressed against yours, your lips moving against his sensually and with such need, you felt like your lips were going to bruise. ”i love you,” you whined, feeling your walls clench around his long, calloused fingers. it felt like heaven, like pure fucking heaven.

anakin could feel your wet, velvety walls clench down on his index and middle finger, you clit feeling like it was vibrating as he rubbed the little bundle of nerves without stopping, without giving you a break. “anakin…!” you shouted, throwing your head back, feeling your stomach tighten and burst with butterflies once you came.

anakin chuckled at you, pressing a kiss against your damp temple. “how was it, sweetheart?” questioned your boyfriend, who currently had a cocky grin plastered on his face.

ugh…!

“it was…” you trailed off, not wanting to admit it. “it was… it was – perfect,” you murmured. anakin smiled – his perfect, white teeth showing and all, before licking his lips. “now, do you mind if i get a better taste?” anakin asked, raising a perfectly groomed eyebrow.

you could only nod, laughing.

fin ♡ ˊˎ-

#star wars.#star wars x you.#star wars imagine.#anakin skywalker.#anakin skywalker x you.#anakin skywalker x reader.#anakin skywalker imagine.#anakin skywalker fanfiction.#anakin skywalker fluff.#hayden christensen.#my writing.#fanfiction. ♡#chaoscarlet.

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