#research or use they’re fucking COMMON SENSE

[drangercore]

Love and Other Historical Accidents by @pacific-rimbaud​

Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy never intended to blow up their life's work, but that's rather what they've gone and done. Now they're trapped 200 years in the past, with a broken Time Turner, a missing snuff box, a handful of overly-eligible daughters, and a House-elf in a cable knit cardigan. It will require the combined power of their keen intellects to get them home, if they'd stop arguing long enough to use them. As it turns out, history is just one damned accident after another.

Fandom: Harry Potter

Relationship: Hermione Granger x Draco Malfoy

Art by @gingerhuneybee​, @jjuuppiter​, @jaxxartbox​, & yours truly

My first fanbind! 

L&OHA is an impeccable story and is so very dear to me. This was the fic that made me go “I want that on my shelf!”, so here we are. 

keep reading for more binding info and to see my gushing on the fic.

QUICK SPECS

153,854 words | 571 pages | 5″ x 8.5″ 

Binding Method: 3 Piece In Boards Bradel  Body Font: Adobe Caslon Pro Decorative Font: IM Fell English

I am very proud of this book, having accomplished many firsts with it. My first book that I rounded and backed, sewed double-core endbands on, painted the edges, and used toner reactive foil and HTV on!

ON THE STORY

Sighs. What more can I say? It’s simply brilliant. A unique multifaceted story with incredible dynamics, clever foreshadowing, great character studies of Draco and Hermione, and such beloved original characters. It’s comedic and refreshing but it also takes on grief and goodbyes, and heartbreak. It’s fucking romantic and also So nuanced. I dislike stories that spoon-feed every little thing about the character, so the parlor tricks on this one? Ate every crumb of it. It was filled with implications and was misleading in the best sense. You’ve got to be an astute reader to catch some things the first round (which I definitely wasn’t). 

While it doesn’t entirely shy away from typical lovey-dovies, the regard for mundanity and the inconsequential, I just find more inherently romantic. The exploration on time travel and the vivid prose further underscores the depth of PR’s talent. She captures so eloquently, the mind of an extremely logical person in a very illogical experience. I saw myself in Hermione so many times. The story demands to be read again and revels upon doing so. Pacific Rimbaud is such an incredible writer *sobs* all her works are simply a masterpiece. 

That said, this beautiful story deserves to be turned into a physical book.

DESIGN PLAN (or lack thereof) 

This is my first fanfic project and my third book overall which I must say was quite a leap considering my very little binding experience. I think the demon small niggling part at the back of my head got the best of me and positively thought she could make a relatively fastidious book despite the lack of skill. BUT nothing can stop me when I am overly enthusiastic about something, thus began my 2 month research, soaking up every gobbet of binding info in reach. As far as my book binding journey goes, gathering supplies was the hardest part lol. Bookbinding is not a common hobby in the Philippines so it was tedious to to look for materials and/or to settle on alternatives.

I credit 70% of the 4 month stretch of this project to my indecision. The novelty and sheer excitement with a new hobby, I think, divested me to properly conceptualize heh. I redid my typeset 1 billion times because I kept switching softwares: Word→ Pages→ InDesign. I probably have 8 versions of the typeset that will never see the light of day. Anyway, I did finally get the stuff done. Here’s my little design dump:

Nothing symbolic about the design really. I just worked around elements I thought were appropriate with the regency era and time traveling aspect: vines/ flowers and the time turner. I tried to reflect PR’s elegant writing in the book so hopefully I did it some justice. I added my fave works for this fic too and even drew fanart myself, here are some of them:

BINDING

I watched DAS bookbinding religiously during my research phase and I knew then that I wanted to someday follow his in-boards 3-piece bradel tutorial, but it wasn’t supposed to be so early on in my binding journey. One look at this book however threw me off course. It was incredibly ambitious of me, so I guess I deserved all the stress I endured in the process. I was supposed to trim the edges in between glueing the spine and rounding/backing, but I only had my poorly sharpened Php145 wood chisel to finish the task. That and nursing the finger my chisel wounded took enough time for the glue to dry, so I was fiddling with a stiff textblock the entire time after. I learnt along the way that a blow dryer and bone folder will be your best friends (and plenty of patience). I’d also like to apologize to my neighbors if you heard any hammering at 1am 😳 

The covers were... finicky. For some reason, midway, I decided to make either covers differently, and all to the good because the one made following DAS’ tutorial ended up slightly warping. DAS’ was with two 1.25mm boards glued together, while my experimental one was with a single 2.5mm board of which I peeled layers off of to reduce its thickness in half as needed.  (see pictures below for reference)

A lot of how the book looks like now is either born out of impulse or a desperate remedy. The book in turn is very gold. Chapter headers were impulsively foiled with gold laser reactive foil (so much for illustrating the headers only to cover them up haha *eye twitches*). 

I accidentally stained the edges while smoothing with black sandpaper so I covered the mess with an admix of Sakura acrylic paint in black and Liquitex acrylic ink in iridescent gold (Paint order: 1 layer gold- 2 thin layers black- 3 layers gold).

 I am very proud of my sewn endbands as this was my very first attempt at doing a double-core. I used DMC cotton threads in cream (712) and gold (E3821). Below is a close-up because why not. (as you can see, I had some flaking on the paint, luckily this was on the bottom edge so I fixed the issue on the more visible sides.)

I don’t like the bookcloth selection where I’m from (if there’s anything at all) so I made my own with pastel blue eco-ramie cloth, flour paste, and 80gsm paper. I ordered my fabric online and the shade was too icing-like. It looked tacky so I bleached to lighten. The white cloth also came from the same fabric which I bleached till it paled to white.

Titling was one of my biggest worries because majority of binders I saw were using a cricut to cut HTV. I almost entertained the idea of cutting it manually or even painting or embroidery, but to my luck, I found a local shop that offers vinyl ! cutting !! service !!! I sent them my design and they cut and weeded the vinyl for me. I chose white for the title and metallic gold for the vine detail. I messed up applying the word “historical” though, but let’s pretend i did it on purpose for the vintage feel.

Four months of faffing later, I have this story in corporeal form! Overall, I’m overjoyed with the outcome and I’d like to thank PR for the opportunity to have such a wonderful story on my shelf (and free to be read by anyone!)

If you made it this far, thanks for reading! 

#love and other historical accidents #laoha #l&oha #pacificrimbaud #dhr #dhr fanfiction #fanbinding #bookbinding #dramione #my books #dramione fanart #fanfiction #fanfictionbookbinding #fanficbookbinding #fanficbinding #bookbinder #harry potter fanfiction #sting and snout bindery #buzzing books

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

👽AITA for telling kids that aliens are real?👽

this is a bit of a goofy one, maybe not THAT serious, i just want to know the internet’s thoughts.

i (20sM) have a friend (20sF) who is a nanny for a family of 3 kids, and has one kid of her own. i won’t give the kids’ ages but they’re all younger than 10. she often brings her own kid to work so they can hang out, and on this one particular day this summer she invited me to come hang out, getting ice cream and going to a nearby park.

i have a decent amount of tattoos, and since the weather was warm, this was the first time these kids got a good look at them. of course, they’re really into it, and start asking me questions like “did this one hurt?” “will they go away?” yknow, things like that. as they find different ones, i tell them little stories about what they mean: the flower behind my ear is our state flower, the skeleton just looked cool, that one’s for a band you probably shouldn’t listen to until you’re older, etc. at one point we arrive at the one on my upper arm, which is an alien spaceship.

here’s the thing. i’m not very good at talking to kids, and never have been. i was kinda using this ice cream date as my chance to practice and watch how my friend does it. i also do wholeheartedly believe in aliens, and got this tattoo as a way of getting silly with it and feeling less embarrassed when i tell someone i believe in aliens (not that it’s something TO be embarrassed about, i’ve just been talked down to about it a lot by people who disagree so that instilled a bit of shame. but you can’t be embarrassed about something you got permanently etched into your skin!).

so when i get the “what’s this one?” question about the alien ship, i decided i’d have a little fun with it, so i answered: “it’s an alien spaceship. aliens are REAL, you know!”

here’s how i see it: these are kids. i didn’t want to beat around the bush and give a long-winded “i really like aliens a lot, some of my favorite media is about aliens, and i think they actually exist.” i feel like that’s a lot for a kid to grasp, plus with the added concept of “i think this is real, but others might not.” the debate on extraterrestrials echoes a lot of ideas one might have debating the existence of god or an afterlife, and while i’m all for questioning the beliefs you were raised with, these kids are a bit too young for that, and they’re not my kids anyway. plus, believing in aliens is relatively harmless, right? i wanted to give them a little sense of wonder and encourage them to do some research if it’s something they liked the idea of.

after the kids weren’t around, my friend kinda told me off for it a bit. she didn’t want the kids she nannies for to go to their parents and tell them that “[name]s friend with a bunch of tattoos told me aliens are real.” and in that sense… i can see where i might’ve fucked up.

fast forward a couple months, and lo and behold, these kids are now obsessed with aliens. on the one hand, i do feel a little bad for it. but on the other hand, i kinda feel like aliens are a fairly common childhood obsession? lots of kids cartoons are about aliens, and in my mind it seems no different from an obsession with dinosaurs or greek mythology or something. it doesn’t seem like the parents are actively trying to discourage it, either. at the same time tho, i can see how telling the kids something like that could’ve cost my friend her job.

i’m more than happy to talk to the kids about alien stuff more if they want, but i’m still not fully sure if i should’ve said anything at all. is that something i should’ve let them discover on their own?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[billfarrah]

So I finished my first Young Royals rewatch in a long time and I have thoughts - Part 1: Wilhelm

So I did not realize initially how much I would run my mouth so I’m actually going to separate my thoughts about the characters into different posts starting with Wilhelm. If this post does well, I’ll do it about the other characters too, because tbh I have a lot to say about everyone:

- First of all I cannot emphasize enough how much watching the whole series from start to finish just hits different. After so many months of just looking at gifs and photos, I am always blown away when I eventually rewatch the show as a whole by good it is. It’s the show’s vibes and atmosphere, cinematography, music, and fantastic pacing that make the show so compelling and that just doesn’t translate when you don’t watch the whole thing. I’m always worried I won’t like the show as much on my next rewatch and I’m always floored by just how much I love it every time.

- This point isn’t directly related to Wilhelm but I wanted to address it as I just noticed it this time. I’ve always suspected that the drugs the society are on in episode 4 are painkillers, but I’ve seen most people believing they were taking the ADHD meds. On rewatch, it’s very clear they’re using painkillers. In episode 2, I just noticed Simon steals Tramadol from Micke - which is a fast-release opiate painkiller. That can get you high as fuck. Many people take them recreationally as a way to get high and they’re a common source of addiction. Micke has a bad back we presume as Simon asks him how his back is in episode 1, but obviously Simon thinks Micke takes them recreationally. In the society party scene, the boys are taking the pills from the prescription bottles, which are likely also painkillers. So no, they weren’t using ADHD meds to get high; they were using opiates. Are these drugs illegal? No, but taking them for recreational purposes would definitely get you in a lot of shit if you were caught with them at a boarding school, or any school for that matter. As far as Simon only feeling responsible to pay Micke back for the booze and not the pills, I am not Swedish so I don’t know how it works, but from what I researched, one does not need to pay more than 2,300 krona per year for prescriptions, and most of Micke’s drugs were probably free as they are all prescription. Please correct me if I’m wrong.

- Anyway, I fucking love Wilhelm as a protagonist. I love how raw, gritty and unapologetic he can be. I could talk about his character for hours. He’s so nuanced and he rarely says what he is thinking or feeling, so I can understand why some viewers perhaps had a hard time connecting with him, but if you pay attention to his actions, everything he does makes sense without him needing to say a single word. I love that his sexuality is actually one of the few things about himself that he’s genuinely comfortable with; yeah, he has a few minutes of gay panic and he does push Simon away because he worries having a relationship with him would be too complicated, but Wilhelm’s feelings and sexual attraction for a boy is never the main thing he is concerned about and he is actually extremely comfortable with expressing that side of himself. He is elated by Simon, euphoric; he is electric with Simon beneath his hands. He’s in love with a boy and he knows it; that’s not what scares him - it’s the implication of what being in love with a boy means in the context of the rest of his life where the problem lies. It’s so refreshing to see a queer protagonist be so unabashed and expressive in his sexuality.

- Wilhelm’s dilemma is very clear despite, like I said above, him rarely verbalizing his feelings. The first episode makes his position perfectly clear - it’s not that he has an issue being a prince, he just hates how little control he has over his life, how little say he has in decisions that impact him, and the fact that he’s constantly being punished and scrutinized for the tiniest slip-ups. Wilhelm is ultimately just a person who wants control over his own life; he does not resent his privilege at all but rather the restrictions that come with it. When he gets into a fight at a party that wasn’t even his fault, he has to make a public apology and is sent to boarding school without being consulted by his parents, because they feel it is what he needs to do to save the image of the family. When he gets to Hillerska, Erik tells him essentially to just do whatever August tells him to do, even though Wilhelm clearly does not like August. When Wilhelm starts making his own friend in Simon, August is constantly meddling and telling him he shouldn’t be spending time with someone like him, and admonishes him for going to the football game with Simon and even gives him punishment for it. Even though Wilhelm is away from the palace and his family, he still has August there trying to act like he knows better than him and telling him how he should act.

Now enter Simon. As viewers, we have discussed at length how Simon completely shakes up Wilhelm’s world and perspective already so I won’t rehash that. However, there was one scene that stood out to me in connection with the above paragraph, and it’s one where Wilhelm does something that probably would be considered “bad” or a “mistake”, and Simon does not punish him for it. I’ve seen some people say Simon went too easy on him for calling him high and drunk on the football field, and I disagree; I think Simon’s reaction was exactly what Wilhelm needed, As I said above, Wilhelm is constantly being criticized and torn apart with consequences for even the tiniest or most minute thing, so for Simon to smile softly at him, tell him it’s okay and that he still likes him probably moved fucking mountains for Wilhelm. He did something stupid and he’s not getting scolded for it? Simon actually has compassion for him AND still likes him? No wonder Wilhelm immediately put himself between Simon’s legs. Wilhelm is a kid and he deserves to be a little bit reckless without being judged or admonished for it, and no, I don’t think him calling Simon was wrong or traumatic for Simon. Wilhelm was in a fragile state and Simon was concerned for him; he was not triggered, but I’ll get to that if I end up making a Simon post.

- Wilhelm is not shy. He has his moments of anxiousness and he is a bit awkward around Simon at first because he has a crush on him, but Wilhelm is actually very good at talking to people; he just doesn’t want to a lot of the time. He’s an introvert and he doesn’t really have patience for bullshit. I find people portray him as some shy little baby, but he’s actually quite blunt and curt sometimes in a way that I find amusing. He just genuinely has no patience for the frivolities and fakeness around him and while he knows how to play the game very well, he would rather just keep to himself than do so. His behaviour during his arrival to Hillerska is actually quite rude; he rolls his eyes when the PR lady tells him and the Headmistress to switch places for a better photo, utterly annoyed by the manufactured nature of it all. This isn’t me trying to say Wilhelm is a rude person; he isn’t and is actually very kind, but he isn’t always shy over expressing his displeasure; he just doesn’t do it all the time.

- People are too harsh on Wilhelm for most things, but one that stands out for me is his and Simon’s fight in the music room. Wilhelm came at the argument from a bad angle, yes, but he tries to make it right; unfortunately he struck a nerve with Simon and Simon walked away. He never once says he thinks Simon should take the fall; he just wants to have a dialogue with Simon over what their options are, but Simon was already angry and didn’t want to talk. He really did try to communicate with him.

- By the time of Lucia, Wilhelm is deflated. He is exhausted. He was terrified of losing Simon so he did what any privileged person would do, the only thing he knew how to do (and perhaps what was the only thing he could’ve done) - blame someone else. Simon still isn’t happy with him. Wilhelm doesn’t know what to do anymore. He feels like everything he does is wrong, he is wrong, he’s not cut out for anything. He doubts every decision he makes. All he wants is control over his own life but even when he takes matters into his own hands, it blows up in his face. This is why he was so easily manipulated into denying the video; he’s been through so much in such a short period of time and is questioning every decision he’s making. He doesn’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. Maybe his mother is right.

- I love that the writers weren’t afraid to make Wilhelm messy. To me there is nothing interesting about a protagonist that does the right thing every time because there is no room for them to grow. Wilhelm is such a fantastic protagonist because he has so much growing up to do. He makes mistakes and he’s a bit self-centered and caught up in his own world and he hurts Simon because of that, but he’s also motivated by incredibly pure feelings of love, passion, desire for his own autonomy and acceptance, control over himself and the things in his life. He is kind at heart but occasionally callous, he is anxious but also incredibly strong and powerful when he needs to be, he’s a giddy teenage boy in love but leaves Simon breathless with his confident mouth and hands. He is not just one thing all the time and that’s why he’s so exciting to me.

- During the scene where Wilhelm exposes August in front of the society, Edvin’s acting is particularly brilliant; we see that he has a powerful, assertive side to his personality, and is capable of being a leader, but you can also see in his body language and expression that he is a little bit anxious about it. His arms are crossed and his jaw twitches a bit; he’s working through his anxiety to do what he thinks is right, and we see him do this so many times throughout the series 0 most notably when he works through his anxiousness to connect with Simon, a boy he’s so desperately drawn to. He is not a shy uwu baby and he is not always crippled by his anxiety; it’s just a part of him.

This got away from me completely as I just have so many thoughts about this show. Please let me know if you’d like to me see talk about the other characters.

#young royals #prince wilhelm #wilmon #edvin ryding

[thedanoriddler]

♾️ Edward Nashton x autistic!reader - Headcanons ♾️

Hey all, it’s your local autistic gremlin here with a reminder to NOT support Autism Speaks, they are a hate group. Please also use the infinity symbol instead of the puzzle piece, don’t “light it up blue” because that’s an AS bullshit slogan, and I personally am not a fan of the term “Aspergers” 💚

Anyway, yes, let me say again that I’m actually autistic, so this post is very personal to me! I also headcanon Eddie as autistic so there’s probably elements of that here too but I haven’t said outright he’s autistic in these headcanons just because I know others may not agree. Obviously autism is a SPECTRUM (it’s literally called Autism Spectrum Disorder), so the ways in which I’m autistic aren’t going to be the same for everyone but I’ve tried to be as inclusive as possible.

Warnings: mentions of ableism, mentions of meltdowns, mentions of the r slur but it’s not used in its entirety (is literally just called “the r slur”), mentions of sensory overload, general Riddler Riddleness

Anyway, on with the headcanons!

Eddie has honestly never once thought you’re odd and weird - he’s pretty much the only one in your life

Some of it is just common sense to him; he too doesn’t understand other people, having a routine is sensible, and why shouldn’t you just say what you mean instead of lying or pretending?

People think that you’re stupid or slow, but he knows that it’s the total opposite - you’re one of the smartest people he’s met, even if that intelligence isn’t the typical kind of intelligence

Being out and about in busy spaces is quite frankly a fucking nightmare; it’s too noisy, there’s too many sounds and too many voices and too many different sensations happening all at the same time - you can’t cope with it, you usually need headphones or something to at least block the noise

But you can’t wear headphones while you’re on a date with Eddie, especially not when it’s your first date and you really like him, really want him to like you as much as you do him

You manage pretty well, it’s dinner at a restaurant and quite nice, but then a huge party of people come in and they’re too loud, their booming voices mingling with the scraping of chairs and the music and the other voices-

You put your hands over your ears before you can stop yourself, closing your eyes and wanting to curl up away from it all. Eddie is concerned as he looks at you, immediately getting out of his chair and coming to be at your side like a gentleman

“Are you okay?” He whispers worriedly, but you don’t say anything because you can’t, your head is swimming and pounding and too heavy as it tries to process everything going on around you. He’s smart enough to put the pieces together though, and once he realises what’s the matter he immediately asks the waiter for the bill, pays, and gently guides you outside where it’s a bit quieter.

“I’m sorry,” you mutter miserably once you find your voice again. “I’ve ruined things.” He’s surprised and shakes his head, assuring you that no, it’s not your fault at all, nothing is ruined because he’s had a wonderful evening with a wonderful person, and nothing could ruin that at all

Once he finds out you’re autistic, you bet he throws himself into researching ASD and how best to help people on the spectrum because he will do quite literally ANYTHING for you

When you’re seriously dating, he’s more than happy to be by your side and do whatever he can to make sure you’re comfortable, no matter where or when. If you’re out on the busy streets of Gotham, he holds your hand and helps you find a calmer route where there aren’t as many people to push against you. When you’re upset because your routine is disrupted, and things are new and scary, he’s more than happy to be there by your side and guide you all the ways.

If you’re not touch averse, he gives you as many hugs and cuddles as you want, learning very quickly how tight is “too tight” and what pressure feels nice. You feel so safe because you know he’d never crush you, he cares far too much about you to even accidentally squeeze too hard

If you’re not that fond of being touched, he’s admittedly a little put out because he’s clingy as fuck and wants to be able to touch you. But he knows touch can be too much for you, that it could contribute to a sensory overload, so he holds himself back and will only touch you if you ask first because the last thing he wants is to make you uncomfortable (we stan a respectful king)

Eddie is so fascinated by all of your different fidgets and things you use to stim, he even (with your permission ofc) tries out some of them and starts to understand why the help because they’re really awesome

He never judges you when you stim, by the way; he never judged you before you explained why you stimmed, what the reason for it was, but it’s especially so after.

Eddie smiling whenever you get excited and start rocking/flapping your hands/bouncing because he thinks you’re so cute when you’re happy and you being happy makes him happy 🥹

If someone called you a mean name (or the r slur), you just know Eddie would go all Riddler on their asses. It makes him furious, he literally sees red, when someone mocks you in any way, whether it’s your way of speaking or a behaviour you have etc. The fact people would make fun of you for being autistic - for being you - is so ridiculous to him, and he can’t stand it.

Just know that if anyone laid a hand on you to provoke you or push you over the edge, the Riddler is definitely keeping tabs on them 👀

Eddie listens to you talk about your special interest(s) all day - and I do mean all day - with the literal biggest smile on his face. He can see how much you love whatever you’re talking about, and seeing you happy makes him happy too. He knows that when you infodump, it’s because you feel comfortable enough to share it with him, that it’s your way of showing how much you like him, and he feels honoured that you feel close enough to him to share all about it, that you feel that he’s worthy of being privy to your special interest.

The first few times you infodump, you turn red and apologise for talking too much because in the past people have complained about it: “I’m sorry, I know you don’t care” - but he immediately stops you, because “no no no, please continue! It’s interesting!”

Eddie loves riddles but you don’t always love them - sometimes they’re too complicated or you take it a bit too literally, and you’re scared he’ll think you’re stupid if you don’t understand them. He really doesn’t think you’re stupid though, not in the slightest - you show time and time again how smart you are, and he likes getting to explain riddles to you anyway.

If you’re a picky eater and don’t like certain textures, he makes sure to only buy and make food that you definitely will eat - he doesn’t push you to try new foods, doesn’t complain that you eat the same thing most of the time, because as long as you’re eating and healthy, that’s what matters.

When you have meltdowns, regardless of what the trigger is or where you are, Eddie drops everything to be at your side; he keeps calm as he speaks to you, his words clear, and doesn’t rush you to answer him or do anything - he lets you have the time and space you need to regulate yourself while also letting you know that he’s there if you need anything.

In general, he understands the importance of speaking clearly and calmly, how important it is to you that he say what he means and that he doesn’t make you feel overwhelmed or rushed. He encourages you to communicate however you can, whether that’s verbally or not, and takes the time to hear you even when you’re not using your voice. He learns your body language, learns how to tell from your posture or your gestures when you’re stressed and needing to go somewhere quiet.

Eddie understands that you’re not a child, by the way, and he doesn’t treat you like one, nor does he treat you like you’re incapable of anything. He respects that you’re self-sufficient, that you are more than capable of making decisions, and he’s encouraging when you do try out new things. You are very much a human being and deserve to be treated like one.

Just in general Eddie is such a supportive and wonderful partner 💚

Like what I post? I’m poor and I have a Ko-Fi 💚

#the riddler #edward nashton #paul dano #the batman #danonation #edward nashton x reader #the riddler x reader #the riddler imagine #paul dano x reader #autism #imagines

[caspiechai]

I have little knowledge about the war happening in Palestine in Israel but that doesn’t mean you or I can’t connect the dots when they’re right in front of us. Israel cut off the internet and most forms of communication. I am pretty sure this was a missile which would make repairing this difficult. Israel doesn’t want their crimes to be put on blast. If you think that this is for self defence then think about it a little harder. Why would they want crimes against Hamas to go unnoticed if it’s self defence? It’s not, they just don’t care who dies as long as they take control. It might even be genocide. No matter what you call it, it’s wrong. It’s certainly fucking terrifying to anyone living there and their voices are eventually going to be silenced so everyone needs to speak now. It might do little to stop it, but it’s better than nothing. Once again, I’m not someone who knows a lot about the war but I have common sense and am able to do research.

#palestine #internet #war #genocide #israel

[many-but-one]

Hey, so definitely don't go into more details than you feel comfortable with but if you can, could you elaborate on systems forming pseudomemories because they researched programming? Like developing completely false memories of programming when they aren't, or?

Hey constellation!

To be completely honest, I don’t know how well I could do that because I’m in heavy denial for the memories I currently have. I often try to tell myself they’re not real/they are pseudomemories so that I can like…feel better, I guess. Lol. Iykyk.

The reason I said that is because of what I read when I looked into RAMCOA, including alllllll of the warnings that were given to me from other victims of RAMCOA and ignored them like a dumbass and researched anyway.

They told me it was super common for non-RAMCOA systems to get pseudomemories. I honestly don’t remember how they explained it, I apologize. Something along the lines of “if you hear about a trauma situation that vaguely seems like it could make sense you may jump to conclusions” sort of thing. Gonna do like a really basic example here:

If you have a phobia of spiders (common in anyone really) but you read about a trauma scenario involving torture with spiders you might be like “Oh GOD! I have a spider phobia! I must have spider related trauma!” And anyone can be good at running with an idea and overthinking and imagining all these horrible scenarios.

HOWEVER

This is not always the case. If you feel you have genuine programming or memories regarding them it’s probably best to NOT fuck around and find out and find a specialist that can treat that because if you poke the bear it can get hella messy. It’s better to be safe than sorry. It’s better to realize they are pseudomemories later than assume they’re pseudomemories and dig deeper to figure out the “real memory” and realize that IS the real memory and massively destabilize the system.

However! (x2)

I stand by my original reply to that one person that if you haven’t already looked into RAMCOA, Don’t. You will not find good things. Whether you have progs or not. It’s not a fun thing to read about.

TW on this next part for what progging would be used for, NOT detailed at all, just be aware that I will be talking briefly about CSA/MC/suicide related things.

Wanna add that not all programming is done the same. I sorta brushed past that in that last reply, but I wanna make it more clear: not all programmers are super skilled or have done it a lot to make a fully programmed system. This sort of thing takes massive amounts of work. YEARS of work. And the stuff that happens is usually massively fucked up. I can only imagine some people not involved in a literal organized cult who specializes in this stuff who try will give up for some reason or another, or may not do it “well enough” or may modify things they’ve learned from other proggers to fit their own needs. Programming/mind control is usually done to fit the abusers/proggers needs, which means one’s programming could be at the level of like “Monarch Program” shit or like, more simple MC/progging for sex-related tasks or compliance or suicide programs for protection of the abusers.

Hope that answers your question. DMs are open, I’m absolutely okay to talk about this stuff carefully.

-Dorian

#constellation #programming #ramcoa #did osdd #progging #tw csa #tw suicide #tw abuse #asks #pseudomemories #endos dni #please endos dni you must have trauma to be programmed #dissociative identity disorder #complex did #polyfragmented

[jimmymcgools]

Hi Jimmy, I'm the person who asked you "How did you become the best writer on the whole damn internet????" earlier, and while I did mean it as a compliment, I genuinely want to know how you became such an amazing writer. School? Work? Reading good books? Just a whole bunch of practice? Something else? Whatever you're doing, it's working!

oh anon, i'm so sorry! i'm happy to answer this seriously. my meme response was partially true -- i do care too much, so this answer might be a little insufferable, but i do really love talking about writing.

(and feel free to stop reading this when you get bored)

i'm still very much working on becoming a better writer myself, so this is more of a "here's the advice i try to follow" answer, if that makes sense.

there's a quote: read like dracula, write like frankenstein. suck all the good shit out of what you read and then stitch it together into your own monster.

if i had to pick, that's the biggest thing that's helped me with my writing. reading stuff i love and paying attention to what i love about it, then trying to replicate that. like maybe it's just a really cool word, or a really vivid adjective.

or did that description of that person really stick in my mind? i'll underline it and try to remember how the author did that. i'll never write anything i love as much as ray bradbury's "She had a very thin face like the dial of a small clock seen faintly in a dark room", but i can remember the idea of describing someone using a surprising simile.

(and then much later i read tolstoy and he described someone as "as narrow as a dining room clock", i was like oh hey, maybe mr. bradbury was reading like dracula, too)

paul mccartney tells a story about how he was playing/singing like ray charles when he wrote "long and winding road". the song doesn't really sound anything like a ray charles song in the end, but paul aped someone's style and it unlocked things creatively.

when i read over my writing, i can see the jigsaw pieces of inspiration. in my new fic, "There’s a line of dead pixels along the bottom. They’ve been dead for months." is me doing vonnegut. so it goes.

"And did she know his uncle’s company sells golf clubs that use the same titanium as the space shuttles? That’s why they’re worth so much." is something i started trying to do because of jane austen. the fancy phrase is "free indirect speech", but the hope is that you know these are glenn's words, not kim's, even though they're in the narration from kim's POV.

(but the last sentence there is also just a quote from the 1998 classic 'you've got mail'.)

(i really do care too much about all this!!)

i think this frankenstein work is more rewarding than getting bogged down by writing guides on the internet. common writing advice would probably tell mr. bradbury to not use "very" and to drop the adverb from "seen faintly" -- and maybe some people don't like that sentence, but i do. i love it.

imo it’s helpful to learn rules and hear what the popular advice is, but it’s less helpful if that advice makes writing boring and soulless for you. experiment with shit! if your favorite author does something, see how it feels to do it, too!

i also did you a kindness and didn't give bradbury's whole quote before. let's have it now:

She had a very thin face like the dial of a small clock seen faintly in a dark room in the middle of a night when you waken to see the time and see the clock telling you the hour and the minute and the second, with a white silence and a glowing, all certainty and knowing what it has to tell of the night passing swiftly on toward further darknesses but moving also toward a new sun.

fucking hell, ray.

the dracula/frankenstein process can be even bigger though. suck good ideas from wherever you can. visual artists use references, writers can, too! i make fun of myself for how much i research things, but the truth is it makes the writing easier. it's easier to describe a place when you have a visual reference for it.

maybe a photo of a house at dusk with the lights on makes you feel a certain way? i try to channel the feeling into my scene, picking what parts of that image might be creating the mood i'm feeling.

i also read things out loud. i think rhythm is more important in writing than we sometimes give it credit for. things feel good if they flow together well.

and then like you say, i practice. it absolutely helps. i was just as strongly opinionated about things a couple of years ago, but i think i’m a better writer now, and so much of it is just that i’ve... written more. hopefully i’ll be even better two years from now.

and i hope this was a more interesting answer than a screenshot from parks and rec! it was a treat to talk about writing, i really do love it.

#thank you again!! #asks #anon

[chronicsyd]

I do not understand peoples problem with Bella Ramsey as Ellie in the new Last of Us show on HBO. what? they aren’t a carbon copy of Ellie in the game (who I remind you had to be changed cause she looked too much like Elliot Page when he was in Beyond Two Souls which was supposed to come out the same year and they wanted to avoid being sued?) 

Really the only deal breaker for me for a reboot of a popular franchise is if they can’t act the part. and from what I’ve seen so far, Bella does a DAMNED good job bringing Ellie justice (and no I’m not being paid to say this like how people have been accusing Ashley Johnson (the OG actress for Ellie) of doing in interviews about the show) and Pedro Pascal already has “grumpy dad character” down to a science after portraying the same character in “The Mandalorian” (cause that’s what he plays. “grumpy dad character to Grogu” you can’t convince me otherwise) 

cause honestly, it comes off as two things to me: 1) toddlers complaining that something isn’t perfectly perfect (even though they have like shot for shot frames of the game in the show, yes I noticed and if you didn’t go rewatch a playthrough of TLoU part 1) and 2) grown ass men complaining about Bella Ramsey “not being as conventionally attractive as their animated counterpart” and overall sexualizing Ellie who I REMIND you is THIRTEEN during this part of the story so just... gross.  (also I remind you that Ellie is indeed a lesbian however that’s not the point of this) 

Honestly if you’re complaining about something as little as a change in the characters hairstyle then we aren’t going to get adaptations again. (not to mention that if the game had actual hair physics her hair would be in her face ALL THE FUCKING TIME so having it pulled back ‘specially in a zombie apocalypse setting makes more sense) you know cause why would they spend all this time/money/and research if people are just going to complain and not watch it? 

(Also, if you’re going to accuse the show of lazy casting and say “these are the same people who casted Uncharted” at the Very least get your facts straight cause Uncharted and The Last of Us didn’t have any of the same people doing the casting the only thing these two have in common is that they’re video game adaptations made by Naughty Dog and Naughty Dog really only had major input for The Last of Us and you REALLY see that)

That’s all I have to say, I’m going to go back and rewatch the episode again (and cry again cause I’m an emotional mess). goodbye.  (Also I Just learned that Bella Ramsey is genderfluid so excuse me while I excitedly squeal in the corner)  

#the last of us #the last of us spoilers #the last of us show #hbo max #the last of us hbo #tv show #bella ramsey #pedro pascal #they can act #game adaptation #just shut up #youre just nitpicking #also sexualizing a child #thats plain gross #and podophilic behavior #ellie williams #joel and ellie #im an emotional wreck #this shit made me cry #its so good #im genderfluid so excuse me while i squeal in happiness

[izzy-b-hands]

dying at how many of these surveys I take that wind up involved AI bots and shit lately always have a paragraph that reading between the lines always winds up sounding like:

‘this is part two of our research. we originally got a lot of data stating people found the bot/AI irritating, not useful, or no better than a google search and using their own common sense to find what they needed. However, we don’t agree with that large amount of data that suggests maybe AI being used for this purpose is not wanted, at least not at this time. Not our problem. Also, to everyone who asked to see more of the data our AI was trained on to determine said data wasn’t stolen: shut up, but feel free to send an email to this address that, when you try to use it, will state it is not an actual email address, no matter how you change up how you type it, thinking that you’re the one in error (and to use, you are, for not liking the AI, but we digress.) Anyway, we’re paying you 40 cents and you need that money don’t you? So you’ll shush and play with the AI like a good little human should! Good! Please complete this catchpa that you’ll have to reload four times before it actually shows you any of the images you need to choose from to pass it. Thanks!’ 

You can tell in the rest of the ones like this too, in how the questions are phrased, that they’re just. peeved beyond belief they didn’t get the response they wanted in their first go around. And like absolutely I understand the frustration but also. sometimes the info ur getting is just. the info as it is, and you can’t make it into anything other than that, let alone to what you want it to be (I’m gonna guess that they’d have preferred ppl typed something along the lines of ‘I came buckets using this AI! I want it to do everything for me!!!!’ which is. ew. not for the robot fucking aspect but for the ‘I’m totally willing to give up control over what information is put in front of me by just assuming a bot will know what I’m looking for based on a simple query and has sufficient training to actually produce it. I’m willing to let it make choices for me too!’ part of it.)

But I got my forty fucking cents lmao

#text post #if we didn't genuinely need the money I would forgo a lot of the ai related ones but #we need food money and money for other household shit and that means I get to be mean to an ai for a few minutes #drilling it on questions about its training data in between the questions I have to ask for the survey #and getting shit answers for both lmaoooo #long post #sorry to kvetch the day just. isn't quite going my way #but at least it's raining #...OH FUCK it's raining and idk if housemate works out of the office today NEVER MIND PLEASE HALT THE RAIN TEMPORARILY JUST IN CASE!!!

[rurpleplayssims]

“He is?” Noah asked in surprise. “I mean, I already told him months ago that I would offer him a cure if I found one.  He didn’t take me up on it.”

Jasper nodded “His view on his condition has changed. He told me he doesn’t want to pass on his zombie affliction to any kids he and Althea has.”

“Shouldn’t he have realised that before he married her?” Noah asked, never one for being subtle. 

“Hindsight's a beautiful thing” Jasper said with a snort. “But, he’s really upset about it. He spoke to Sylvie who I think dramatized the risks involved a bit too much. She made it sound like he would die if he tested himself.”

Noah rolled his eyes “And he told Althea, who didn’t appreciate the possibility of becoming a widow so soon after marriage when they’re both so young?”

“Are you psychic Noah?” Jasper said with another snort of laughter.

“No” Noah said bluntly. “I just have common sense and we both know Althea very well. I guess that they nearly fell out over this whole debate.”

“You’re not wrong but they’re hanging in on there.”

Noah scoffed “That marriage is less than a fucking month old!”

Jasper looked seriously at his brother “It’s easy to say all this when you’re not in the situation Noah. Obviously, don’t mention all this to anybody else, Althea wouldn’t want to be gossiped about, especially when the subject is personal. Thomas trusts us so that’s why I told you.”

“I won’t say anything, course I won’t!” Noah snapped, impatient. “But bloody hell, Thomas had shit timing on this revelation! I feel for them both, especially the boss, bet she feels like her whole world’s been tipped upside down!”

Jasper sighed heavily and continued eating, waiting for his brother to finish his rant.

“Well I was speaking to Henry yesterday who actually was asking me about my cure research” Noah said after a pause. “He didn’t get a chance to tell me why he was asking. But I know that he and Jed did so see him the other day.”

“I forgot, what was the research that you decided to do instead of the zombie cure?” Jasper asked.

“Oh, it was research into same-sex pregnancies” Noah said, far too casually, as if the idea wasn’t a massive scientific achievement if it was a success.

#CampbellQuayBaCC #Campbell Quay #CampbellQuay #The Sims 2 #TS2 #BaCC #Build a City Challenge #The Sims 2 BaCC #Morgan Household #Morgan Round 5 #Summer: Second Year #Jasper Morgan #Noah Morgan

[martian-martian-martian]

this is the nitpickiest of all internet sociopolitical gripes but——

“take pills immediately if you’re in pain, dont just suffer!” is nice, for sure, in theory, and it SHOULD be true, within reason of dosage limits obv.

But unfortunately it falls into the same quite class ignorance as a lot of ‘self care’ retail therapy content.

the same way not all of us can just cheer up by buying ourselves a little treat, medicine doesn’t grow on trees, bethany.

like, im not toughing out these headaches and period cramps because im a spartan warrior:

im doing it because ibuprofin is fucking 15 dollars a bottle, and if i can just get through a few hours of pain, thats a whole day’s dose i can save for another day.

i assess my own body and needs, putting myself first, and come to the conclusions of what is best for me.

non-pharmacuedical or intoxicant related forms of pain relief are VALID and IMPORTANT tools for personal health.

if a hot shower or a mug of tea or a hot water bottle or even some tasty chocolate and your favorite movie can effectively relieve NON-DANGEROUS pain or take it down enough, if that WORKS for you, do it.

like seriously i shouldnt feel like i have to say this but :

just as it’s not a moral failing to take care of yourself, its ALSO not pure ignorance or toxic masculinity or inherently ableist to be practical about your own endurance and only take pills when you really, really need them.

internalized ableism IS real and im not denying the commonality of people, especially women, not respecting their own needs.

but moderation and restriction are not always the criminal delusions of capitalism. sometimes they’re just common sense.

trust your gut (and obv actual medical research as it pertains to your demographic and situation) about what you need and what you can handle.

dont self UNDER- or OVER- medicate because trendy internet therapy speak tells you to.

#titrating medicine dosage isnt ableist #dieting isnt inherently fatphobic #or rather changing ones diet to change ones body or feeling of health #to better phrase it #being straightedge isnt bigotry against addicts or shacking up with the reagan administration #some of us are poor and have to use our bodies for various tasks and we need them to be efficient and cheap to maintain #we dont live in a solarpunk utopia yet #surviving and learning to work in society isnt surrendering to The Man its refusing to let him crush you until you can solve society

[bangingoutthetunes]

here are some suggestions I feel I can give on how to become a better writer, people in the common genshin l post were suggesting this

This is the type of shit I notice most often which i find to be a huge turn off while reading smut.

Consider experimenting on yourself and your body prior to begin really writing smut! It makes a world of a difference to be able to describe what a feeling of approaching a climax is to you instead of using the same blanket adjectives. Idk about some of you guys, but for me and a lot of people I know, orgasms don't make you "see stars behind your eyelids", for example. There is so much more to an orgasm than just what can or can't be seen; what does your tummy feel like? Does your skin prickle? Do your toes curl? Try to figure out how, maybe, different things feel on you. If you write about penetrating and have something phallic and safe, use it in different positions to see how positions can change the feeling. Normal sex doesn't have to be aggressive even if both participants are horny beyond their minds; sex can be primal without having to fuck someone way out and have person a "slam their hips" into person b. especially at the first couple of thrusts, that shit HURTS real bad

Think of describing the scenes using metaphors that are appropriate to what is happening. Build up to using those metaphors, though; you want to make sure that your writing is cohesive and that when you look back at how sentences are placed that you, or a beta reader, doesn't widen their eyes and think "wtf is going on?". For example, if you're describing a blow job, right? If there is precedent for the person giving head to be used and submissive throughout the fic, up until that point, then it makes sense for the dick haver to bottom out v quickly. It also makes sense if the reader is being a brat/tease n the person with a dick wants to teach them a lesson. It doesn't make sense, to me, when it's just kissing and touching for the person giving head to just be used and throatfucked all at once with no prior warning or discussion of consent to the harsh action, especially if it just isn't implied/discussed.

A lot of writers also just don't touch on consent which I think is awful. Asking for consent can be sexy! Just imagine someone being cheesy or romantic, if that's your thing, and how you'd be excited to reply if you were being asked for consent. Otherwise just try and make sure consent is stated before shit is done within the fic.

With regards to adjective and common metaphor use, stay away from things that don't make sense anatomically. For example, if someone is getting fucked in doggy style how tf are balls gonna slap against the asscheek? They're gonna, if anything, hit the clit/top part of the genital area instead of the swell of the asscheek.

Lastly--- if you care about making your writing authentic pls for the love of God try and read things aside from the smut genre. Do some anatomical research and read more. In order to expand your vocabulary and be able to use adjectives correctly you have to see them used and understand the context it's ok to put them in. English isn't my first language. If I could learn how to do it then you can too.

Idk what else could come to mind and I might edit this post as time passes. Idk what to tag this as either

[akumajoaurora]

In regards to this excellent post, I’d also like to make a post on how I designed my own logo. Zenith’s post gives an excellent breakdown of what elements go into a VTuber logo and things to keep in mind, but not so much how one gets from an idea to a finished logo. So I wanted to share my process, which goes through most of the basic process I learned while studying graphic design in community college.

Before doing anything else, I had to do research. I knew the general style I was going for; I wanted to evoke the y2k aesthetic, or at least somewhere in the late 90s/early 2000s. In particular I wanted to evoke the bright, optimistic aesthetic of certain games I played as a kid (DDR, late 90s to early 2000s Sonic games, Kirby Air Ride, etc.), as well as the Eurobeat music genre, which I’m a big fan of and is part of my overall “theme”. 

(Granted, I mostly find myself streaming gothic horror-esque games, but... A bitch can contain multitudes)

So with these ideas in mind, I spent a lot of time looking at y2k graphic design, researching different logos (for example, I looked at some racing logos as well), and eventually I put together an inspiration sheet with logos I wanted to evoke. Not all of these are from the same period, but they have a lot of similar vibes

Do you see some of the common elements? Text in dense blocks, lots of bold outlines, often a sense of motion, blobby geometric shapes, sans-serif fonts, bright colors. These were some of the things I wanted to keep in mind for my logo.

With my research done, it was time to design the emblem. I really like motorcycles, and they’re... technically supposed to be part of my theme even though I always forget to post about them... So I wanted my emblem to be a motorcycle helmet. (This also fits in with the eurobeat theme, since racing and driving fast is a common theme of eurobeat lyrics, albeit usually about cars and not motorcycles lol.) I sketched out a few variations on what I had in mind.

I incorporated my horns into the design, since they’re a big part of yknow, me. I also tried a few different decorative elements; The shooting stars are a motif sometimes seen in y2k graphic design, and the fangs are meant to emphasize the demon thing. As for the triangle stripe with the star, it’s meant to evoke the flag of Puerto Rico, but also has a classic racing flair.

After examining the various options and getting input from my friends and family, I settled on the design on the lower right. Next step was doing the black and white lineart.

This is a really important step. A good logo should, ideally, work in plain black and white. Even if you’re limited to just one color, your logo should be readable; This can be useful for things such as printing, stickers and T-shirts, things like that. Ideally you should be able to slap your logo on anything regardless of technical limitations. Am I, or you, necessarily going to do these things? No, but it’s good to be prepared anyway. You never know! So it’s always good to have a black and white variant of your logo.

This is the design I ended up with. In keeping with the y2k/late 90s/early 2000s style, I used bold lines with heavy weight variation, rounded corners, and a double outline. Now if I were really trying to be professional about it, I would have done it in a vector program rather than Medibang Paint, but I fucking hate vector programs and the only person who needs the files here is me, so I can afford to be sloppy. There’s programs out there that’ll let you vectorize black and white images anyway, so eh.

Next, it was time to add color to the emblem. Again, I had a bunch of different options, so I made several variations and asked for input from my friends and family. (I also put the BW version in the corner for reference.)

I already had some standard colors I use in my model and my graphics, so it was really just a matter of deciding how to arrange them. By the way, you can really see in the shading just how much inspiration I took from 2000s Sonic the Hedgehog art! Don’t be afraid to take inspiration from things that mean a lot to you, or... Well, inspire you, lol.

Once again, I ended up choosing the last variation as my winning design. With the emblem done, the next step was choosing a font. Zenith’s post already has some great notes on choosing fonts, so I won’t go into too much detail there, but once again I chose several options and asked for input. Getting feedback from others is a really important part of the graphic design process. It helps you to learn what works and what doesn’t, especially when other people may have different backgrounds than you (Is one of your friends colorblind? Does your art effectively convey its message to someone who doesn’t have the same knowledge of design history? Etc).

I actually chose 15 different font options, but for the sake of brevity I’ll just show four of them.

In general it’s good practice to do variants in regular caps, no caps, and all caps, but I didn’t do that because uh... I don’t remember why. Anyway, I largely looked for y2k or racing fonts. Admittedly Excelorate is super cute, but I ended up going with Hemi Head, because it’s nice and readable. I believe it’s a popular font in the Eurobeat world as well? I know Odyssey uses it in her graphics sometimes, at least. In any case, it looks nice, it’s not too generic, and it’s really easy to read.

After choosing both an emblem and a typeface, it was time to combine them both into a logo. Again, I started with black and white, both because it’s useful to have and it’s also just easiest to add color later on.

I spent quite a lot of time fiddling with spacing and such to get it to look neat and tidy. I added a line at the bottom to add balance to an empty space, as well as a sense of motion. To tie it all together, I encapsulated it all in that big chunky outline we’ve seen so much of.

Finally, color. Since I already had a colored version of the emblem, it was pretty easy to build the rest of the logo’s colors from there. I incorporated the purple and pink gradient I’ve used for header text in a lot of my existing graphics, and again I added a fun outline, and... That was it! The logo was finally finished!

Now, I’m not claiming it’s the most perfect logo in the world. I’m sure there’s things to criticize about it, and plenty of people who just won’t find it appealing. But I think it looks alright, and above all else, I hope this breakdown of how I went from square one to a finished logo is helpful to those of you who may be looking to design your own. I encourage you to do other research as well, and again, to check out Zenith’s excellent post on VTuber logos. (It’s worth noting as well that VTuber logos often have a particular look to them that I personally chose not to go for, but Zenith’s tutorial does a good job of explaining how to achieve that look.)

As a bonus, here’s this thing I made while messing around and trying out different techniques that ended up looking hilariously like the iCarly logo, lmao.

#VTuber #ENVTuber #Graphic design #I hope this is helpful idk if it is but I tried anyway #Good luck everyone!!!

[thegh0stzsystem]

Woah, a system introductory post in the wild!

hello, we’re the gh0stz (ghostz) system!

we’re a traumagenic osdd-1b system of about 70 currently known alters.

we’re collectively queer and trans! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ and also nonhuman/fictive heavy lol

we are also bodily a minor so… yknow, don’t be a weirdo. we will block you.

we also have adhd, autism and bpd and honestly probably a bunch of other things tbh. (both mental amd physical 🥲)

collective names: ghost, or ghostz if you’re referring to multiple of us

collective pronouns: they/them for simplicity but just ask if you’re unsure

~ ☆ ~

Frequent Fronters

we don’t actually have a real list of frequent fronters since it changes a lot, but for the most part it’s this:

Ashton [he/they] ⭐️ - main host and probably a denial holder to some extent. 99% he’s fronting

xXzparkle_dawgzXx/Gvtz (pronounced guts) [all of them. especially neopronouns] 🌩️ - we have no clue what aer’s fucking role is other than to be annoying (/lh) but uh… zap is most definitely here. idk what to say about hir.

Lucifyr/Blaze [he/rot/fire/gore/it] 🔥 - protector and rage holder. also probably a sysbro

Richard [he/him] 🏜️ - sysdad

The Demonic Subsystem [he/him or he/they collectively] 🪄 (group of fictive brothers who don’t front without eachother close)

-> Ash [he/him + they/them] 🌙 - subsystem host

-> Asmo [he/she/vir or ang] 💋 - unknown role, probably something to do with emotions

-> Satan [he/him] 📗- academic

~ ☆ ~

BYI : not sure what to put here rn!

DNI : we don’t have an actual dni list. if we don’t like you, we’ll just block you, it’s as simple as that.

~ ☆ ~

Boundaries

a lot of boundaries change from alter to alter, but here’s a general list of ours!

dms: yes. we allow dms from everyone so long as they’re respectful!

asking for other socials: go right ahead, so long as you aren’t going to bring drama from one platform or blog to another.

asking who’s fronting: this changes from alter to alter, but generally we like it. some alters may not want to tell though and in that case just call us ghost and don’t push it.

asking questions: it really depends on the question because we won’t answer anything really personal (internet safety, babes!) but we will answer more friendly questions and questions about systems/being a system to the best of our abilities!

nsfw: no. again, we are a minor. we don’t mind jokes but if we’re uncomfortable we will delete them and/or block you.

and of course the list goes on but i don’t wanna have a mile long post about boundaries, especially when a lot of them are honestly just common sense imo.

~ ☆ ~

extra: you can’t have did or other dissociative identity disorders without extensive childhood trauma.

if you think you’re an endogenic system, please do some more research. did and osdd are childhood trauma disorders.

and of course, the brain will go to extreme lengths to protect itself so don’t hurt yourself while researching. but if you do proper research and still think you’re an endo, you’re either in deep, deep denial or you’re just delusional.

other than that have a great rest of your day!

#osddid #osdd system #system #osdd #actually did #actually osdd #did #did osdd #actually dissociative #actually traumagenic #systemposting #intro post #introduction #introductory post #blog intro #system intro #queer system #queer #trans system #actually neurodiverse #neurodivergent #neurodivergent system #anti endo

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Can I ask about how you make multiple characters and not get confused over them? Or like why you’re making so many Tavs?

If you’re asking why I like making characters it’s cause it’s fun. If you’re asking how I can handle multiple ones: it’s cause I actually recycle a lot of my characters. I got inspiration from a fellow gamer but I’ve always just reused characters as I see fit.

Hallor for instance has a lot of things in common with Harel, a Lavellan of mine. Hallor just is a bit more twisted and darker for being a Drow and the trauma of how exactly their sister died. Also, Nonbinary Vs Cis!Woman, though frankly Harel is probably a she/they she’s just never given a fuck enough to look into it.

Making up characters is a lot of fun for me, and I treat it as a writing exercise as well as research reasons. I want to know more about the world I’m playing in which inspires research. I’m also trying to ignore the whispers in my head about ‘oh that’s so original, a goody-two-shoes cleric’ or ‘of course the vengeance Paladin worships a dark goddess’ because these characters are for me. I just like talking about them.

These Tavs I’m making aren’t final products. Or well not all of them. This is strictly for fun and for me to exercise my brain and research skills. Sure, some I’m going to be using (Hallor is very much going to be one of my Tavs, similar to Mollyanne cause she’s so damn sweet) but others? Eh. To the abyss.

As for getting confused: I’ll admit I’ll mix up characters and the such but usually that’s if they’re a low priority for me, one I don’t care about. If I can’t remember a character I take it as a sign I don’t like them that much so I dump said character. I’ve dumped a lot of characters into the abyss because they never caught my attention fully. BG3 will be no exception. I like some concepts I came up with and I’ll use them but will rework the character to make it work for me.

That make sense?

#character creation

[lookwhatilost]

i’ve been dedicating a lot of my insomnia time to the incel research because i’m trying to thread the needle where “love-shyness” was less understood as a form of social anxiety, which is how gilmartin analyzes it in his book, and became understood as de-facto association with a hate movement, to the point where brianna wu et all can see a small survey about the millennial/zoomer sex recession and conclude “they must all be incels”.

part of the reason i’m so attracted to looking into stuff like this is my frustration with gamergate being retrofitted as a theory of everything for internet hatred, responsible for everything from trump to qanon. i feel like people who were not Very Online during that era forget how nonsensical gamergate actually was, as is generally the case with anything that involves internet trolls. they come off as a lot more organized than they actually are when they coalesce their anger around common hate objects, but the idea they coordinate is a pretty tough sell for me.

the first thing you’ll notice when playing primatologist to any right wing online space is that the users very transparently fucking hate each other, which is pretty shaky grounds for organization. occasionally you have edge cases like charlottesville, but they’re rare enough that it’s notable when they happen.

it’s also much more annoying when people do this with incels because the isla vista massacre predated gamergate by around 5 months – that was in late may of 2014, gamergate didn’t happen until november. it seems like an obvious chronology oversight to me. my theory broadly is that isla vista was the turning point, tbh. i get the sense it had an effect, one named after a particular debacle involving a certain singer and her house, with internet red pill philosophy.

the next logical point in looking into this stuff has been reading “my twisted world” – rodger’s manifesto – because i never trust how this stuff is reported on secondhand. people leave out the fact that he was biracial a lot, which already is off to a bad start. rodger was a puahate denizen, and if anything, it’s useful insight into what the mental profile of someone who used those websites before they started getting media attention.

“my twisted world” is 141 pages in word processor format – meaning, if this were published as a book, it’d probably be closer in length to 300 pages. it’s broadly beat-by-beat autobiographical and, frankly, a really boring read. but what’s odd about it is that some of his insecure monologuing could have come right out of sixteen candles, but it’s undoubtably racialized.

rodger is fixated on “coolness” and women are a proxy to this – there’s probably something to be said here about rodger growing up in los angeles – but his idea of coolness can’t be uncoupled with proximity to whiteness. and white women. i’m a little less than halfway through it, but a nontrivial amount of rage is directed towards other men who are more sexually successful than he was, and it ratchets up a lot in intensity when those men aren’t white, yet have had sexual success with white women. 

when you take this all into consideration with the fact that a lot of the internet incel demographic is non-white european men, how incles.is is operated by a south asian man, and the existence of terms like tyrones, changs, chadpreets, etc... you start to notice an angle to this that’s been criminally neglected. and the entitled white guy thing starts to fall to pieces.

sometimes i wonder why i do this to myself. every time i dive into topics like this, i feel like i always pick up on glaring omissions from the popular dialogue and it starts to slowly drive me insane whenever the topic comes up in conversation.